Jaakko I struggle with receiving banter from other guys banter okay I’m naturally a sensitive guy which lends myself to take normal smack talk from other guys personally I’m trying to get after it I wake up early I work out eat healthy work pretty hard but still seem to have some deep-seated insecurities which flare up when guys give me stick I have some bloody good mates and I want to get to the point where I can take smack talk for what it is and even give a bit of stick back to the guys what can I do to help this here’s one thing that you can try to get into your brain and this is one of those things that’s hard to get into your brain and it’s even harder to actually get it your brain and functionally use this thought here’s the thought the more okay if you’re if you’re paranoid about something if you’re insecure about something the more you let things bother you the more insecure you will appear hmm but let me say it again the more you let things bother you the more insecure you’re going to appear and the worse whatever that thing that you’re worried about whatever that thing that makes you feel insecure the worse it’s going to appear to everyone else so if you got a big nose and you’re embarrassed because you’ve got a big nose and every time someone says something about your big nose you get mad and you get offended that big nose it glows even bigger so think about that if there’s something that bothers you and you let it be known and you let it bother you divorce it’s gonna get and and also think about this another thing that will help these are things I’m trying to help help sort of smooth the edges of insecurity here’s another one people even though you think you really think they are and it’s kind of egotistical to think this but we all do it people aren’t sitting around and thinking about you and your weaknesses yeah they’re not sitting around and thinking about you and your weaknesses they’re not like that’s your ego telling you that so don’t sit there and think everyone’s looking at your big nose all the time they don’t care they got their other problems they got their own life going on they don’t care about your big nose you know what makes them care about it when they know if they say something you it bothers you oh yeah that’s the first thing you’re gonna think when they see you again oh here comes a good time for some fun and here’s another thing if you want to kind of mitigate that man they do it do it mark doesn’t weigh the warrior kid when Uncle Jake says hey if you’re getting made fun of he’s in way the word kid called plate face yeah say mark oh you got around this guy Nathan James is telling mark oh you got a round face you look like a plate calls him plate face that’s his insult as he insults him all the time and it bothers him he’s looking in the mirror go away lets it bother him and Uncle Jake says hey go go make fun of yourself and he finally gets a chance he does a there you know a class and they have to do a self portrait and he draws himself as a plate a plate face and when the kid that’s been making fun of it season he laughs and then guess what doesn’t make fun of him anymore about it because he realizes it doesn’t bother and they kind of bond a little bit they kind of moms actually what he’s going for in this question that is yeah yeah so you got him any see it’s this is what that’s why I said it’s hard to do this because when you’re insecure about your big nose or you’re insecure about your big ears or whatever and you let people know that or you just think it’s in your brain you think if you say something that’s gonna be remorse it won’t get worse yeah might get worse for uptick for a second right it might you make fun of yourself you know people oh yeah that’s right you notice that you do it yeah then it’ll kind of no one really cares and that’s why in the teams in the teams you never let anyone know that something bothers you or if they know it bothers you you’re gonna hear about it forever that’s just gonna be how this is the way it’s gonna be and what that means the polar opposite of that or the flip side of that is it’s not fun to harass some it’s not fun to harass someone about something that doesn’t bother them it’s not even fun right it’s not fun why would you harass someone when they don’t get it you don’t even get a rise out of him yeah it’s not fun you just leave that thing you look for something else yeah so poke a little fun at yourself these guys are gonna back off because they’re bored if you show no reaction and like you said that that kind of self-deprecating humor will form a little bond yeah you can give a little stick back to the guys if you start giving stick to guys be ready to take it back though yes and they’re gonna escalate yeah and the that’s just uh I mean I grew up with two brothers mm-hmm one twin brother and that’s like like that’s literally the foundation of our relationship it’s just you tease the other guy about some let everything like you he can come in with a new shirt on that’s a seal platoon yeah like it’ll be like oh sure you know like that’s not even something to you someone they sell men’s shirts where you bought that yeah yeah whatever it’s Lear that’s it’s so bad to the point where one um when when I got with my current wife Fullmer when we started dating or whatever like it’s just habit you know like even you like same thing you know like you’ll you’ll give me crap I’ll give you him whatever but it’s so common that I do it to hurt you oh yeah yeah and you know at first she’s like Oh what like what why are you teasing me so much like you’re because I know even before we were together I knew her for gears actually and he’s like I kind of knowing you know he’s like teases or whatever and I had it’s like reel it back yourself in check yeah because that because that is so so much of how guys do yeah you know hundred percent okay and I’ve told this story before when I got when I was going to college and what’s around team guys all day and I started doing the team guy thing with my wife she’s like hey I’m not in the teams so you can be quiet now and I was like wow she’s right and I’d even realize it cuz that’s just you know all day long you show up at a you show up in the platoon space and it’s verbal sparring yes as soon as you walk through the door somebody’s gonna say something they’re gonna bring it and what’s interesting is Holly’s how do you think I want to get to the point where you know he can Spector with thing is I would agree with this probably even 110 percent which is hard to agree hundred percent but I feel this way it’s probably stronger than him like you ever been around someone who like you just can’t really joke around with like I’m not I who I’ll tease someone and try to like to make them you know specially I don’t know I’m good or whatever but um the but if you’re around someone who like can’t really take it you can’t joke around with them it’s like men want that guy to be their man I wish he just wasn’t you know I’m not mad at all but I just I don’t hang around with that guy you don’t want to be that guy no so even if like it’s fish at first like let’s say okay I’m this guy right here the worst is someone that can dish it out but can’t take it yeah but yeah that is the worst it’s I don’t I would the only reason I wouldn’t say he’s the worth is what if he’s dishing it out and he can’t take it it’s kind of you get a payoff of teasing the guy I’m saying true it let’s say he doesn’t dish it out let’s say it’s just a guy you just can’t joke around with this like man you’re making me uncomfortable kind of thing you know but if this guy cuz you what’s your point if it’s yeah if float is annoying when people can’t take it and you make a joke and they get all fired up and then they’re like actually mad right yeah that’s that is that’s well that’s how you end up with people that aren’t really your friends oh yes exactly right so but yes yes so you get there man hey I say get there in at first just and you kind of made it really clear to me how you know when you make a change or something it’s not gonna bone your arteries with the change going full-speed you know what do you say blow drag it’s not gonna be like their reddit for especially with this kind of stuff if you if you already know you’re insecure yeah which is a big step ahead by the way some people don’t know insecure and meanwhile they’re he’s admitting it they know it but they just don’t admit it yeah so just got you know so but you’re gonna feel it man when they call you bit you know whatever they’re calling you whatever you’re gonna sort of feel it on the inside still but just don’t behave you know in a way just like god I don’t know I don’t know what to do this plenty of things to do but yeah I mean you do want to get there 100% yeah jack
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