I’ve heard it called a death letter but I don’t know if that is the actual name I don’t know if it has an actual name but I do know what it is is something that soldiers sometimes write when they deploy in the harm’s way then they put it with your gear or in a footlocker where it will be found or they give it to a friend to pass on in case they die a letter to the family they won’t see again the mothers that gave them life to father’s that raised them to wives that they left at home to children they miss and in some cases to the children they’ve never even met it’s a goodbye letter with a title something like in case I don’t come home well Jesse Givens rocked Springfield Missouri wrote one of those letters he wrote it to his wife Melissa and their son Dakota nicknamed toad and to their unborn son nicknamed bean who would ultimately be named Carson and here is what he said in that letter in case he didn’t come home my family I never thought I would be writing a letter like this I really don’t know where to start I’ve been getting bad feelings though and well if you’re reading this I am forever in debt to you Dakota and the bean I searched all my life for a dream and I found it in you I would like to think that I made a positive difference in your lives I will never be able to make up for the bad I am so sorry the happiest moments in my life all deal with my little family I will always have with me the small moments we all shared the moments when you quit taking life seriously and smiled the cylons of a beautiful boys laughter or the simple nudge of a baby unborn you will never know how complete you have made me each and every one of you you saved me from loneliness and taught me how to think beyond myself you taught me how to live and to love you open my eyes to a world I never dreamed existed I am proud of you stay on the path you choose never lose sight of what is important you and our babies Dakota you are more son than I could ever ask for I can only hope I was half the dad I used to be your Danny but no matter what it makes me proud that you chose me you taught me how to care until it hurts you taught me how to smile again you taught me that life isn’t so serious and sometimes you have to play you have a big beautiful heart through life you need to keep it open and follow it never be afraid to be yourself I will always be there in our Park when you dream so we can still play I hope someday you will have a son like mine make them smile and shine just like you I love you code and I hope someday you will understand why I didn’t come home please be proud of me please don’t stop loving life take in every breath like it’s your first I love you code I will always be there with you I’ll be in the Sun shadows dreams and joys of your life baby beam I never got to see you but I know in my heart you are beautiful I know you will be strong and big-hearted just like your mom and brother I will always have with me the feel of the soft nudges on your mom’s belly and the joy I felt when we found out you’re on your way I dream of you every night I always will don’t ever think that since I wasn’t around that I didn’t love you you were conceived of love and I came to this terrible place for love I love you as I do your mom and brother with all my heart and soul please understand that I had to be gone so that I could take care of my family I love you being I have never been so blessed as the day I met Melissa you are my angel soulmate wife lover and best friend I am sorry I did not want to have to write this letter there is so much more I need to say so much more I need to share a lifetime’s worth I married you for a million lifetimes that’s how long I will be with you please keep our baby safe please find it in your heart to forgive me for leaving you alone take care of yourself believe in yourself you are strong big-hearted woman teach our babies to live life to its fullest and tell yourself to do the same don’t forget to take toad to Disney World I’ll be there with you Melissa I will always want you need you and love you in my heart mind and soul do me a favor after you tuck toad and beam in give them hugs and kisses from me go outside look at the stars and count them don’t forget to smile love always your husband yes and Jesse didn’t come home on May 1st 2003 Jesse Gibbons was killed while conducting combat operations in Havana Iraq when his Abrams tank plunged into the fray DS River after the bank along the river collapsed the three other crew members made it out of the tank Jesse did not another brave warrior gone like so many other warriors he left behind a family a wife and children and a mother and father and friends and life he left behind everything every smile every laugh every hug from his boys every kiss from his wife everything going and on this Memorial Day let us remember let us remember those soldiers sailors airmen and Marines those brave warriors who for us for our freedom left everything behind and after the Sun sets on this Memorial Day and darkness consumes the sky go outside and look up and say thank you to those heroes that now grace the heavens and then look at the Stars and count them and as much as your soul aches with sadness as you mourn your fallen family and friends and brothers in arms don’t forget that they did not sacrifice their lives for us to live in that Ness no they sacrificed their lives so we could live in joy and happiness so even on this most solemn day Memorial Day don’t forget for them to smile
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