how do you detach without seeming completely cold okay important question you know say this all time you know you got to detach I also say all the time if you detach from all your emotions that means your robot and people don’t follow robots I say it all the time so when you do detach you can’t you can’t completely step away but if you do you have to you have to act you have to do a little acting now first of all we already talked about this right we already talked about these red flags that that show that you’re gonna lose your temper that you’re gonna get emotional about something you know your clenched fists and your raised voice and your heavy breathing and your flared nostrils and all that stuff right so you know what those things mean those things mean those things your your signal that mean detach okay so you got to work on that now here’s the dichotomy of it is once you are there and once you have detached you actually have to now go back and do one or some of those things that you are trying not to do you have to go and you have to do them a little bit in a nice little controlled manner right maybe you raise your voice a little bit maybe you just kind of clench your John and you remember I said do you like like nodding your head in a positive way and that’s it that’s just when you if you’re coming to me with an issue and I nod my head to the affirmative you know up and down saying yes I understand yes I understand that’s a soothing thing to your team right they see that you’re you’re okay with it the opposite of that is when you shake your head to in the negative I give you tell me some problem and I’m shaking my head it’s like me going damn I can’t believe this is going on right so yeah so maybe that’s another thing that you you know you you clench your drawing you shake your head did you just show the person like look I know we’re in a bad way I get it I’m not sitting back here like it’s no big deal I know it’s gonna be a tough I know we just lost a sale or I know we just you know I’m gonna have to plan another mission that we just got back I understand that it’s hard you care I care yeah you know I’m I’m with you you want to give that maybe you let out that little sigh of frustration you don’t like a little like something like that right just gonna do that bill thing just do that just showing that you do got some emotions and you are invested in all that stuff and and then once once you see that you’ve achieved your goal here that you can see that that they see that you have some emotions on the situation then you you quickly get yourself to recover from that price you get yourself composed and you’ve shown them and they and they’ve seen it’s almost like a little bit see like a little weakness and they go okay you know chuckles are you a ladies man but you know I actually want him to calm down I actually am I glad he’s so good yeah he’s amazing I’m glad he’s calming down that’s good okay so then you recover you go back to your calm cool collected self right that’s what we’re gonna do now like I said this is do we call this acting I guess maybe we could call it acting but the same time acting means you’re trying to pretend to be somebody right you’re not trying to pretend to be anybody else you’re being you that’s all you’re doing you’re being you you’re just acting like yourself just showing a little bit more of the emotion and then you would be if you were just completely detached so it’s not like you’re trying to act like some you know yeah you’re not trying to play a role someone else are just being you hmm so and you already know what you do because you’ve learned how what the signals are so when you know that you raise your voice and that means you’re okay they just raise your voice a little bit if you know that you you just give a little sighs it’s those careful things and so yeah I guess it is acting in a way but it’s not full-on anybody can do it I think yeah yeah you did I think that’s great this is my opinion you do with your kids you know yeah I mean I’m you know yeah you know we met or whatever any good even happy even pretend out happy no it’s okay we’ll say excited yeah hey I got something for you it’s a drawing of a happy face same as she did yesterday you know it’s like I’m not the honest truth is I’m excited about other things we’ll just say that all that love you got for crying about it’s all going backwards now people are gonna hate you know grab talking about excite your daughter draws you a beautiful picture you don’t care about it cold-blooded what I’m gonna give her is a lot of excitement I’m gonna match her excitement maybe even go one level higher that’s what I’m gonna give her so what am i acting I’m excited a little bit though you think same thing same thing yeah same thing yeah I know it’s is it a form of manipulation mmm it might be a little bit of form of information but again if you’re doing it to help the individual you’re doing it to help the team then is it manipulation or is it leadership I say of course it’s leadership you’re not manip manipulation is I’m trying to fool you so you do things that I want you to do that you we’re not doing that it’s not what we’re running here
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