how does one detach when getting personally attacked and take extreme ownership with false claims and what does one do once when a subordinate always goes above the chain of command instead of working out issues with the coworker okay I’m this isn’t the clearest question that I’ve ever received I’m gonna try and I’m not sure if I completely understand it but I’m gonna try and sort of answer to the best of my ability I think what we’re talking about here is that someone is telling me that something it’s my fault and that is a false claim is that that’s the question right I think you’re making a false claim and saying like this is your responsibility Jocko you were supposed to press record and it’s false because I wasn’t supposed to press record like let’s say well yeah or or maybe like record was pressed like that there is no issue you know well then why would you why would why would that become a personal attack yeah yeah so the personal attack is chokku you didn’t press record yeah and now the question is what do i do then because because we both know who’s in charge of pressing record here yeah who is me okay so you’re in charge of pressing record if you all of a sudden we we are 40 minutes into a into a podcast and we haven’t pressed record the record has button has been pressed and all of a sudden it comes to light and you say chuckle you didn’t press record now what this person is saying that’s a false claim gotcha that’s not my responsibility it’s truly not my responsibility now I’m not actually why should I be doing that yeah and you know what I’m gonna say you know what I’m gonna say yes sir I do which is you know what it is my responsibility because I’m here it’s primarily my voice that’s being recorded and from now on I will make sure that that gets recorded it’s my fault I will take care of it from now on by the way now what is your job responsibilities in this whole podcast nothing nothing to do if you’re not pressing record you’re not nothing to do it yeah so how does that feel it doesn’t feel it doesn’t feel good you don’t like that but when I take away that responsibility you’re actually becoming clawback from me you’re gonna say you know what actually you know it was your fault when that happened but you know what from now on since you screwed it up I’m gonna take ownership of it and you know what I say is that cool that’s awesome yeah good point since you are over there with the recorder and since you’re a technical guy and I’m not at least a lot of sense won’t we go with that from now on you own it yeah I shouldn’t have dropped the ball last time you know so that’s that so there we go I don’t it I fix it if by the way if you don’t want responsibility back if you just say cool yeah you press record from now on okay cool I will yeah and then guess what I’ll start thinking about how much I need you around here yeah cuz really what else do you bring to the table and they’ll bill alright so that’s question number one the question number two as far as detaching so I don’t get emotional that’s if someone is blaming me if someone is blaming me if you start blaming me or something I actually looked at that right out of the gate I see that as a psychological victory for me because because you’re blaming me like you’re blaming you’re not taking ownership I already won man I already want so there’s no I’m not getting emotional about that that’s they’re blaming me because they don’t have the the wherewithal to actually take ownership themselves I see that as a weakness of theirs and I’m fine with it and that’s why I don’t I’m not gonna I don’t need to get emotional cuz I’m sitting there going wow this person just served me up on a silver platter the fact that they don’t want to take ownership and they’re gonna give it to me are you kidding me I’ll take this all day long another thing is and I’ve said this before I can’t be respect I can’t be disrespected by someone that doesn’t even respect themselves yeah you know what I’m sayin yeah you can’t just respect me if you don’t even respect yourself if you’re just you know like a bum in the street is whether where the thing came from you know someone that’s just a you know a drunk bum laying in his own vomit and wants to you know look at me and say you with a good dirt bag yeah like okay dude yeah carry on with your day yeah that you you’re not gonna affect me so how in the same vein if how can I be disrespected by you when you tell me you and you blame me for something when I realize what’s happening right now is you don’t even have enough respect for yourself to take ownership or something yeah this is just a wind so that’s the second part of that I think the third part of the question is a subordinate that that goes up the chain of command instead of working working out the issues with the coworker that’s pretty pretty easy I’m not gonna solve those problems for you oh you got a problem down the chain of command with your coworker your peer and you guys aren’t working it out and you want me to solve your problem no you go figure it out and come back to me the solution and now I’ll do that a couple times if eventually they can’t come up with a solution guess what I have I have a problem I have a real problem and I will solve it and they’re not gonna like my solution because it probably involves them neither one of them being there any more extreme case but what I will do is I say okay come and read me the facts mm-hm you really want me to make a decision about this cool I’ll do it but I always felt horrible in fact I don’t even know if I ever did this going to my boss to make a decision about something that I should have agreed with my peer there’s you know what I’d rather just for me I’d rather say hey you know what you want to do it your way I go fine let’s go with it it’s close enough you oh you want to take the lead cool you take the lead I’ll support you no problem that’s what I’m here for I want the team to win I know you’re concerned about you I don’t know that’s fine that’s fine I’m here for the team so let’s do it your way so that it works out yeah not one of my boss and complaining that’s just ridiculous I don’t think I’ve ever been in a corporate scenario but it seems like that that’s easy to see in other people you know like where you know how like a situation where yeah let me let let my subordinate take lead it seems like that could be a solid almost obvious answer for people yeah except myself you know like I don’t I don’t always point that inward you know I’m sure there’s like people out there where it’s like oh that this will saw probably a lot of your problems just look at it this way and do it and do that you know let let one of your subordinates like take lead on the stuff and I would predict as far as that goes that most people would be pretty surprised like oh yeah I guess I should I should do that yeah you know at this point so you’re saying that’s a it’s a pretty obvious solution once you hear it yeah but you’re also saying that’s a difficult solution to actually execute because most people put in the situation don’t remember it yeah they don’t remember to point it inwards yeah even like literally you could be getting this advice like right now you could be getting this advice but hey chuckle that sounds like good advice and then they’ll go like back to work and it applies to someone else you know it’s like you don’t realize it like man I should do that you know kind of thing yeah that’s the trouble with learning learning it’s hard to apply it yourself yeah once again it’s like jujitsu you can watch I can show you how to do it yeah and then you can watch me do it and then I can move your limbs around so that you do it and then we do a drill when we drilled a move 20 times and then you get into a competition and they move is there and you don’t execute it you don’t execute it correctly because you haven’t done it enough you know you have to do the move kind of do the move you got to do the move
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