is detachment something you do in real time or is it before or after an event I think I’ve heard you describe both is it both no it is not both it is not both actually it if you think about it okay the detachment that we’re talking about is when you get involved in these situations you got to detach yourself from him so that you can make good decision so that you can see things clearly so that you can assess things clearly that’s why you detach from these situations so technically if before or after an event you are detached from them right because that’s me they’re not happening at that time now I guess you could be so emotional about an event that even after it happens you could still not see it clearly because you can’t attachment so I guess I could give it to you that okay yeah and before it you could be so amped up about it and so nervous about it and so emotional about it that I guess beforehand you could so I guess I guess I am wrong I am talking about detaching throughout the process right but even if you’re if you have to detach beforehand you’re not detaching on the incoming situation you have to detach from your current yes being nervous about the uncover right right right and that may help you prep and I’ll talk about that a little bit but the skill itself is being able to detach during the event mm-hmm and I’ll tell you once you do detach from it it’s actually pretty easy but to punch through that gravity that your brain makes with emotion and chaos and mayhem that’s the hard part the hard part is to notice that you’re stuck in the gravitational pull of all that emotion so you’ve got to pay attention to that in and what you really want to try and do is try and it’s what you just said trying to attach yourself before the gravity and the gravity of the emotions and the chaos builds up if you can detach before that then you’d have to break through it you’re already outside that realm and so then it’s it’s it’s much easier so it’s like there’s quicksand in front of you and it’s much easy to just see the quick stand and just say I’m not gonna step in there then it is to walk in there go up into your waist and start feeling getting sucked down and then decide oh I’m gonna pull myself up that it’s a lot harder yeah so you gotta look for those signs you gotta look for that moment when you start feeling emotional you know that it’s gonna be something emotionally you’ve got to step back from those and get get yourself in the habit of asking yourself what do I look like right now what does Jocko look like right now what does Jocko sound like right now listen to yourself talk listen to the words that are coming out of your mouth and see if your being a reasonable human or not and I’ll tell you one thing that I I do I kind of see is you know when I’m in the movie The Terminator when he sees like the the various responses he could give well when I’m feet when I’m really good you know in a very detached mode and I’m having a conversation with someone I like see the options in my head of what I could say to him and I oh yeah that’ll make a mad oh yeah that’s too offensive okay that Lots a good one hey buddy but what wha so I think that that mindset kind of works pretty good but again look for the signs look for the quicksand look for the emotional quicksand and don’t step in at the emotion of the anger the frustration there’s little physical signs too when you start feeling the sweat beating up when you start feeling hot like you literally start feeling hot that should be a big red flag yeah that warmth that flushes through your face that’s not good yeah the breathing when you start getting when your breathing starts increasing your pulse was going that’s the stuff you’ve got a notice to say to yourself oh there it is there it is hmm that’s the quicksand of emotion and confusion and chaos you don’t want to step into it you want to pull yourself back the takeaway there is like be like the Terminator no I’m not saying be like the Terminator that was a that was a comparison of thinking of being able to visualize the options that you have and if you’re emotional you don’t think like that when you’re emotional you’re just you’re just blurting out whatever is gonna come out of your mouth but when you’re detached a little bit you go okay I could say this I could say that oh this is answer three and they say it’s like a problem-solving yeah tactic it’s interesting because on the Terminator he blurted out analytically he blurted out an emotional response because he’s acting like a person remember that remember what he said I don’t punch her profanity when he’s in the thing he’s looking he’s all shot up and the superintendent or whatever the whatever it’s knocking on the motel door hey buddy you got a dead cat in there what cuz all these flashes riding off so he looks through his responses and they’re pretty funny if you read them I forget exactly what they are but he goes like the one he chose fuck you asshole hmm that was it you know yeah I do remember that yeah that was pretty deal the fake emotions which sometimes which I’ve talked about before sometimes you got to use the fake emotions the switcheroo yeah or is that what’s good for the goose is good for the know it’s like when your kid is not getting you’re not listening to what you’re saying you’re not having the impact that you want a house you got to show a little bit of anger yeah turn up the heat that’s kind of good too and don’t get crazy with it right as far as with the kids where if you show anger not only is it like a powerful thing in there you’d like oh shoot this is powerful it demonstrates to them that you care about what we’re talking about right now it I care about Jackson you know rather you know rather than I’m just a machine a robot yeah yeah I don’t care but I know I’m supposed to tell you this kind of feeling
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