ego is the enemy it can you take that too far I can joke about myself all day and be ok but also I don’t want co-workers not to take me seriously so that’s actually kind of two questions it’s talking about ego and that’s talking about joking around right those are those are two different things a little bit like self-deprecating yeah yeah yeah and so can you can you be too humble and put your ego in so much check that it hurts you yes actually you can’t you know hey echo how’s it going I’m in charge um I’m really horrible at this you know I just don’t know what I’m doing right that’s not good you know it’s like I said to the marine lieutenant right am i tell them to going in to check in and say hey guys I you know I just don’t I just got here just got out of the basic school I don’t know anything really do you want to follow that guy no now that’s what I’m talking about super can you be overly humble yes like I said it’s okay to admit that you don’t know everything but that doesn’t mean don’t be well-prepared that doesn’t mean don’t be confident that you can figure things out that doesn’t mean you can’t ask good questions right it doesn’t mean that you don’t report in without knowing the nomenclature and the fundamentals right that’s gonna you know hey Jocko just checked in but he knows what our missions been he knows what our mission statement is he knows how our basic process is he already looked at all that he knows everyone’s name yeah I’m prepared I’m prepared so that’s what you want to be that’s not saying I have no idea what I’m doing right now I just got here no no that’s not what we’re talking about so don’t be overly humble most people the reason I talk about the other one of be humble all the time is because most people tend towards letting their ego be inflated that’s what most people tend towards so I tend to talk more about hey keep your ego in check when you weren’t checking because most people they’re so scared of looking bad they say well I know how to do this I’ve never seen it before I know how to do that never seen it before you’re gonna look stupid hey guys hey I’ve been put in charge of this I know you guys been doing it for a while look for to learn from you and how you execute it and and driving forward and keeping kicking ass in this mission does anyone get mad at that no hmm it that’s a lot different than hey guys I have no idea what’s happening that’s too much yeah so don’t go there and be humble but not not passive put your ego in check but don’t turn into a baby or another dance the second part of this is caution about joking around too much and that’s you know that’s different from too much ego and absolutely you can joke around too much now of course and we’ve talked about this a good team and a good leader they’re having fun they’re having fun with everything that you’re doing and I always had fun I was at fun I still have fun all the time I’m having fun but if all you do is joke around all the time but then when it comes time for the jokes to be over people won’t take you seriously so that will be problematic you know I had a rule that was no joking on the radios right so if you were on a radio you weren’t allowed to take make jokes no joking on the radio and what’s cool about because you know int asking a bruiser when I was a platoon commander I was a system commander we had fun all the time we laughed we joked we had a blast with everything we did no joking on the radio you see him saying that was a law no joking on the radio and what was good about it was as I think back to that what that translated to was we’re not joking around in the field and that expanded like when were briefing we’re not joking around it was a very clear distinction of course did people have we did things happen out in the field sometimes were like oh my god this is hilarious of course that happened but the general 99% of the time 95% of the time was hey we’re in the field we’re working we are serious that’s the priority did we have fun in the field yes did I laugh in the field yes but the priority and this norm was we are going we are serious and we are that’s the priority so don’t joke so much that you don’t get taken seriously one time I was with a senior ranking officer a flag officer an officer with stars and we went to go brief I wasn’t attached this unit but they were they went to go brief this unit or we went to go receive a brief from a unit and in the brief in a PowerPoint slide these guys had put a slide in that was an inappropriate slide and it was a crude joke hmm and it was really funny I thought it was really funny you know I was like ha that’s pretty funny that these guys did that yoga I saw the slide they had it up there and it was completely inappropriate and and and vulgar right that’s what it was they didn’t know this general at all and he was a very straight-laced guy and didn’t appreciate that kind of humor hmm and they they had like the Welcome slide the next slide that came up was this inappropriate vulgar slide what was it what was it it was it was it was it was it was inappropriate I’ll leave it at that and and you know it was like there was a chuckle in the room mm-hm and at the same time there was nothing but silence in the room you could feel the discomfort and and since like I said I thought it was funny and I knew it wasn’t gonna go over well soon as I saw us oh this is not good and the reason I’m telling this big long story is because I have another rule don’t put jokes into your slides in PowerPoint no jokes because you can you can articulate the joke because you can feel the room out and see what’s going on you can get it get a taste you can get a feel for them if you if you walk in if they would have had a chance if I could have said freeze the first slides up you’ve met the general here for four five minutes do you want to remove that slide they’d be like oh absolutely let’s get it out of that cuz they could see that he was a serious guy and not you know one to be that wants to be seen that kind of thing it didn’t take wasn’t hard it was a pretty easy book to read but you don’t have that opportunity there was no hold on we’re gonna delete this slide no there it was boom welcome it was though it was after the slide of you know this is where we are it was the Welcome slide and I said oh so no joking on the radio no your slides keep your slides clean and and the the risk-benefit you tell a good joke hey that’s great you get you know two credits right if your joke is bad and considered inappropriate its negative 39 not worth it yeah it’s not worth it yeah and again I’m all about you know you you want to have fun when you’re briefing you want people to be entertained and have fun but you don’t want to have it appropriate stuff no yeah so that’s that for both these for both these things am i joking too much or am I being too serious am i you know is my ego too big or am I being too humble you it’s balanced it’s a dichotomy leadership and you got to find the right spot in the middle and you got to check yourself and you kind of you know if your team is joking when they shouldn’t be joking guess what you’re leading them the wrong direction yeah if your team is somber and doesn’t have any spirit you’re not having a good enough time so you got to find the balance there same thing with ego you know are people talking with you and communicating with you and being open with you and telling you when they disagree with things or is no one talking to you because if that’s the case your egos so big that they don’t want to talk to you hmm so find the dichotomy leadership to find the balance between those two dang that’s a good one if they’re if they’re not talking to you yeah cuz you know how at work you’re talking with your friends you know and then somebody comes that person comes here like you know yeah for whatever reason you’re not necessarily talking about them or nothing but they come in your country you got to stop your conversation you know yeah that’s like a little indicator you know if you roll up to so you see people across the room talking and you’re like hey that looks like a cool conversation or whatever or I go say hi to Paul whatever and you go and they stop talking and they stop like laughing they just stop talking and they give you like small talk or whatever that’s that’s I indicated yeah yeah it’s an indicator it could be actually either one of those two if people are having a good time and you walk in and they stop laughing oh okay and if you walk in and they’re having a conversation then they don’t they just you know don’t want to talk to you you know they’re probably if I don’t like your big ego that’s slapping them in the face but you’re you go and check
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