what’s the dichotomy in having an ego when is it good and when does he get to a point where you have to check your ego okay so the dichotomy is pretty clear ego drives you absolutely it makes you want to win it makes you want to perform well it makes you proud of your achievements makes you want to be number one and those are all good things and I fully fully have those myself I mean my ego will keep me up at night trying to win at some ridiculously meaningless thing in the world especially when I was younger it was kind of stupid but the ego can also get you in trouble get you in trouble really really quickly for instance I mean look you can your ego can make you sabotage your coworker that’s on the same team as you so that you can outshine them right that’s ego you can vote down a plan a better plan because that plan isn’t yours you can chase some material items some things something that you don’t really need maybe in some cases it might even be something that you don’t actually even want and it’s just fueling your ego which is which is a really bizarre thing to see it can make you step on your subordinates right it can make you undercut your peers because that ego flares up it can make you your ego can make you dig in dig in on some stupid ideas that you’ve had those the kind of things that ego do and all those things are negative so that’s pretty clear to me where ego starts going sideways and and I would say even though like my ego always fueled me to to wanna win but I’d never was that out of control where I was like screw and screwing people over because I wanted to win no I wouldn’t do that that wasn’t part of my personality wasn’t I’m not that boss I was never really naturally good at much so it wasn’t like I was gonna wear the only way I could be people when things was better out working them yeah other than that I it would be hard for me yeah usually that kind of person who like you more than the two kinds of people one who is down to like screw someone over or basically cheat you didn’t cheat II this is what you’re doing it’s like I want to be here i they don’t necessarily want to quote unquote win because if you cheat it’s not really winning you know the whole benefit of winning is like overcoming certain things you know but when you cheat us like you know I mean you cheated you know whatever so it’s less about it’s more about you understanding really what winning is and that’s what you like the winning you know yes yeah that’s why so like people undermine you know gene do this stuff it’s like they don’t want to win it’s like a good case in point when I remember a win when I was going to SEAL training there was people there was guys that would like brag about it they were going through the same SEAL training class me same buds class me but they would like brag about it and like you could hear him talking to let’s say some random person yeah well on the SEAL training I wasn’t bragging about that I was like I’m a more lucky I’m here and I realized that Aloha those people quit because they were comfortable they did just being able to say like SEAL training they were already good with it they were like I I did what I’m supposed to do yeah so me I wouldn’t want to do that I didn’t want to say anything until I made it through yeah and so yeah so what I’m saying is similar to what you’re saying they were satisfied just by being able to throw that out there that was enough for them so for someone that’s willing to cheat and win or their eat they’re willing to step on someone that doesn’t feel good to me that’s never felt good to me like if I get a step on someone I don’t want it I don’t want that victory don’t want it so it’s like they wanna some people want to look like they want and other people want to really win yeah of course that’s really the difference yeah yeah so back to the ego point when you start feeling like you’re doing some of those negative things that’s when you’ve gotta put your ego in check that’s what you gotta support your coworker instead of sabotage and that’s when you got to pick the best plan out there instead of picking your own that’s when you say you know what I’m happy with what I have instead of chasing things that I don’t even need you know I’m talking over people like if you were there’s been something that you wanted even though you actually didn’t even really want it but you just want it just cuz you because pure ego pure ego yeah like when you’re in the wait well in growing up like lifting weights sometimes to do this where they be lifting weights and you can see a lot of times in these like like a 24 hour fitness situation where you believe that guys will be lifting weights and then one guy will think he’s lifting kind of a lot you’ll see someone all of a sudden be doing that same exercise like trying to live more than night he doesn’t know him not lifting with him he wasn’t even doing that exercise so it wasn’t even his work up but he’ll like try to do it you know but you weren’t even doing that exercise you weren’t doing bench today yeah and now you’re doing bench yeah chasing something you don’t even want you don’t need it that day that’s another big one is like when I talk about subordinates instead of cutting down your subordinates you start lifting them up you start making them shine you start giving them the credit making them shine even brighter than yourself that’s that’s the beautiful thing when you can put your ego in check and you can make that happen making your own boss look good having an open mind to new ideas those are the things that’s how you put your ego and check those or the things that those are the those are the hallmarks of having your ego in check now sometimes people don’t know when they need to put their ego in check and I think there’s one really easy indicator to know when you need to just at least like do an assessment of your ego and that is when you come into conflict with another person because because a huge percentage of conflicts that you have with other people are ego yeah are their ego and so when you feel that conflict whether it’s about positioning whether it’s about an idea whether it’s about a plan whether it’s about a little no matter what’s about but if I’m in conflict with you on something I immediately I’m gonna say okay wait a second is this your ego talking no or are you is is this business or is this ego yeah and if you do that you will find yourself you know any form of frustration or anger that you have just check your ego and there’s a good chance that you’re gonna be able to take that thing get a hold of it and aggressively put it in check it’s hard your ego is a tough bastard your ego man that thing wants the spotlight it wants to shine it wants the glory and it’s it’s driven you know that’s a lot of you high achievers out there that’s what’s driving you and it’s not a bad thing so when it comes time to harness that bad-boy it can be a challenge but it’s very rewarding when you make it happen it’s it’s rewarding in a long-term gratification it’s not immediate gratification generally you know you’re given you’re giving your subordinates all the credit for some for some project that they did you know that you could actually know that you did the bulk of the work would you give it away that’s not gratifying immediately immediately is like yeah that’s right put the accolades on my head boss that’s immediate gratification that you’re looking for it no you say hey boss you know what don’t put the accolades on my head look at my team let’s crown them because they really did a great job you know I’m just here to help them there’s no crowd application in that but when you get feedback a week later a month later six months later people want to come and work for your team now your team gets picked for another project that’s the long term gratification that you get when you keep your ego in check yeah keep that ego in check people
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