jocko does leadership require theatrics or acting skill in the case of an underperforming subordinate i mean obviously in a way yes it does it but it’s definitely more complicated than that as well because and we’ve talked about this before you know i’ve talked about like when if if you want to make an impression to your kids they haven’t listened to you and you’ve told them 14 times and finally you know you’ve been all calm and attached like hey this is it this is why you’ve given everything you’re supposed to do in the extreme ownership handbook of leadership and they’re still not listening to you and you go you know what i’ve got to show some some anger here right so they realize that i’m really serious so that’s a time when you might have to flip the switch and act right like you’re angry for instance and you know this is part of detachment because if you are controlling your emotions and you decide you need to show some emotions then you’re gonna need to do some sort of i guess it would be considered acting theatrics some theatrics to to make that clear now it also might go in the other direction where you don’t want to show that you’re frustrated or you don’t want to show that you’re angry or you don’t want to you know if you’re if you’ve got your team looking at you and you and you’re you don’t want to show that you’re frustrated yeah so you got to act okay you know what i’m just you know i’ve got to act cool i’ve got to detach a little bit and just act cool and so those are both i guess those could be considered acting but at the same time i don’t think it’s disingenuous and i will tell you why the reason i’ll tell you why is because remember when i was on sam harris and we were talking about being brave and he i think it was he he said if you pretend to be brave well then you are in fact being brave so if if if you’re wounded in the street and there’s machine gun fire going on and i say you know what i don’t want to do this but i’m just going to pretend to be brave right now and i run out and grab you pulling out of the street even though i was pretending to be brave i was brave because that’s what i did you know i did the action it’s the same thing here if i’m really angry at you but i decide you know what i i got to keep that inside and i’ve got to act like i’m calm well guess what what i did was act calm so therefore it’s not acting that’s what i did as a person so i guess i’m really not acting at all because i’m being me and me is detached and acting like i’m calm even though i’m super angry yeah you are kind of a weird paradox yeah you technically and i thought about this before you are acting but like just like how you’re saying it’s not disingenuous because there’s a difference between what you feel and how you behave like feelings and behavior so if i’m mad at you for something and i don’t yell at you and be all it does that mean i’m not mad at you it doesn’t mean that right but what if i i am at you and i did and i do my a my madness my anger makes me yell it at you all that means is my feelings are driving my behavior just because your feelings aren’t driving your behavior it doesn’t mean it’s disingenuous you know so you can still be mad you can still yell even though the yelling isn’t because you’re mad the yelling is for a specific result it’s a little just like how you’re saying you’re still you’re yes you’re acting you’re acting but you’re acting because you want a certain result yes that’s why i say you are acting because you’re you’re not if if you’re not acting that means your anger is driving your behavior your feeling is driving your behavior otherwise you’re just yeah you’re acting but it’s a i think i agree with you when we’re talking about it before that’s a good thing you’re going for results here yeah and that’s the question the actual question is it specifically says under pro underperforming subordinate and so clearly yeah you might have to show some anger so that they realize that you’re really serious that they may get fired that they need to improve that they need whatever the case may be yeah and yeah if it’s with your girlfriend and wife it shows them you care a lot of times you know how like you’ll be like hey you know say something and you’re saying at all calm or whatever and caring knowing you care about or something someone knowing that you care about them that is a big deal versus if if they suspect like he doesn’t care about my situation i’m telling you i’m telling you no you’re right that you care about you care people want you to care jocko you gotta care
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