Jocko Podcast 83 w/ Echo Charles: How to Stop Making Excuses. Your Children Are Watching.

this is Jocko podcast number 83 with Echo Charles and me Jocko Willing good evening echo good evening on the 19th of February 1945 after three days of heavy pre-landing bombardment which attempted to destroy the heavy fortifications that the Japanese had built on that day the 19th of February 1945 American amphibious forces primarily US Marines of the 3rd 4th and 5th Marine divisions along with soldiers from the US Army’s 147 Infantry Regiment landed on the island of Iwo Jima by the end of the first day some battalions had a casualty rate of over 80 percent on the morning of 20 February 1945 Marine Corps 1st lieutenant Isaac’s was taking cover in a foxhole about 300 yards from the beach when he was hit by a Japanese mortar strike he was severely wounded in his left arm and in his head he was evacuated to a hospital ship offshore which is where he died the next day On February 21st 1945 and it was about two months prior to that on December 17th 1945 that first intended Leonard Smith Isaac’s had written a letter to his two boys now I have a lot of people ask me questions about parenting I have four kids so so people want to know my thoughts on it people also obviously ask me about war and they asked me what kind of advice I have for my son and I think that first lieutenant Isaac’s answers many of these questions a lot better than I ever could when here’s what he told them in that letter December 17th 1944 my dear little boys I’m writing you today just a week before Christmas Eve you know in the hope that you will get this little note at Christmastime all of this coming week will be holidays and I can just imagine the fun you will be having especially when you know just a few days before Santa Claus will be coming if it were possible I would like to come down the chimney myself and crawl right into your stock and wouldn’t that be a surprise I would enjoy it even more than you but since your dad is far away and Santa Claus has the only reindeers that will fly through here I’m afraid we’ll have to let Santa Claus use them after all he has so many places to go in such a short time I won’t be able to give you a Christmas present personally this year but I do want you to know that I think of you all the time and feel very proud of the way you have been helping your mother while I’m gone I know that it’s only natural for young healthy and strong boys like you are to want to play and have fun all the time but do you want you to think about helping mummy because it’s hard for her to do everything while I’m gone I know that you would like to give me a Christmas present too so I will tell you what you can do and this will be your Christmas present to me every day ask mummy if there are errands that you can do for her and when there are errands to run say sure mommy and then give her a big smile then during the day go up to your room and look around if there are toys scattered all around or you left some of your clothes on the floor pick them up also when mummy is busy trying to clean up the house don’t leave her by herself but ask mummy if you can help or take care of baby sister if you do those things for me that will be the finest Christmas present that you could give me oh yes and CeCe are you eating your meals like a real man now well my boys I guess you often wonder why people fight and have Wars and why lots of daddies have to be a way this Christmas time at fighting when it would be much nicer to be at home that’s a hard question to answer but you see some countries like Japan and Germany have people living in them just like people you and I know those people want to tell everybody what they can do and what they can’t do no one likes to be told how to live their life I know that you wouldn’t like it if one of the boys in the neighborhood tried to tell you what church you should go to what school you should go to and particularly if that boy would always be trying to beat up some smaller or weaker boy you wouldn’t like it would you and unfortunately the only way to make a person like that stop these sort of things or a country like Japan or Germany is to fight them and beat them and teach them that being a bully because after all that’s what they are is not the way to live and that we won’t put up with it what does all of this mean to you just simply this my boys dad doesn’t ever want you to be a bully I want you to always fight against anyone who tries to be one I want you to always help the smaller fellow or the little boy who may not be as strong as you I want you to always share what you have with the other fellow and above all my boys have courage have courage to do the things that you think are right never be afraid to fight for what you think is right to do those things you need a strong body and a brave heart never run away from someone you may be afraid of if you do you will feel ashamed of yourself and before long you will find it so easy to run away from the things that you should stand up and fight against if you and lots of other boys try to do the things that dad has been talking about in this letter it may be that people will not have to fight wars in the years to come and then all the daddies in this world will be home for Christmas and that is where they belong perhaps some of the things that I have been talking about you don’t quite an understand if you don’t mummy will explain them to you she knows Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year god bless you daddy and obviously many brave Americans stood and fought for what they believed in on that tiny island of iwo jima then they suffered massive losses to gain that victory over the course of that five-week battle nineteen thousand two hundred and seventeen were wounded 6821 were killed and first lieutenant Leonard Smith Isaac’s marine husband father daddy was buried at sea thirty-four years old reading that the letter made me think about another letter I’d read from another parent and it’s another letter that I find to be just an incredible guide to not only to parenting but to living from this one was written not by a father but by a mother it’s not a letter to a son but to a daughter and the daughters name was Jana then the mother’s name was doctor me al de hora Cova and she wrote the letter from prison while she was on trial for treason and for conspiracy on trial by the Soviet backed communist government of Czechoslovakia after they had taken control of the country in a coup and she and her fellow so-called conspirators were jailed and tortured and then put through a grandiose show trial and she knew she knew that she was going to be made an example of she knew she was facing death and the night before her execution she wrote a letter to her daughter who is 16 at the time and this is some of what she wrote my only little girl Jana God blessed my life as a woman with you as your father wrote in the poem from German prison God gave you to us because he loved us apart from your father’s magic amazing love you were the greatest gift I received from fate however providence planned my life in such a way that I could not give you nearly all that my mind and heart had prepared for you the reason was not that I loved you little I love you just as purely and fervently as other mothers love their children but I understood that my task here in the world was to do you good by seeing to it that life becomes better and that all children can live well and therefore we often had to be apart for a long time it is now already for the second time that fate has torn us apart don’t be frightened and sad because I am not coming back anymore learn my child to look at life early as a serious matter life is hard it does not pamper anybody and for every time it strokes you it gives you ten blows become accustomed to that soon but don’t let it defeat you decide to fight have courage and clear goals and you will win over life much is still unclear to your young mind and I don’t have time left to explain to you things I you would still like to ask me one day when you grow up you will wonder and wonder why your mother who loved you and whose greatest gift you were managed her life so strangely perhaps then you will find the right solution to this problem perhaps a better one then I could give you today myself of course you will not only be able to solve it correctly and truthfully by knowing very very much not only from books but from people learn from everybody no matter how unimportant go through the world with open eyes and listen not only to your own pains and interests but also to the pains interests and longings of others don’t ever think of anything as none of your business No everything must interest you then you should reflect about everything compare and compose individual phenomena man doesn’t live in the world alone in that there is great happiness but also a tremendous responsibility that obligation is first of all and not being and acting exclusive but rather merging with the needs and the goals of others this does not mean to be lost in the multitude but it is to know that I am part of all and to bring one’s best into that community if you do that you will succeed in contributing to the common goals of human society be more aware of one principle than I have been approached everything in life constructively be beware of unnecessary negation I’m not saying all negation because I believe that one should resist evil but in order to be a truly positive person in all circumstances one has to learn how to distinguish real gold from tinsel it is hard because tinsel sometimes glitters so dazzlingly I can fess my child that often in my life I was dazzled by glitter and sometimes it even shown so falsely that one dropped pure gold from one’s hand and reached four ran after false gold you know that to organize one scales of values means to know not only oneself well but to be in firm in the analysis of one’s character but also to know others to know as much as possible of the world its past its present and future in short to understand not to close ones ears before anything and for no reason not even to shut out the thoughts and opinions of anybody who stepped on my toes or even wounded me deeply examine think criticise yes mainly criticize yourself don’t be ashamed to admit a truth you have come to realize even though you proclaim the opposite a little while ago don’t become obstinate about your opinions but when you come to consider something right then be so definite that you can fight then die for it as walker said death is not bad just avoid gradual dying which is what happens when one suddenly finds oneself apart from the real life of others you have to put down your roots where fate has determined you for you to live you have to find your own way look for it independently don’t let anything turn you away from it not even the memory of your mother and father if you really love them you won’t hurt them by seeing them critically just don’t go on a road which is wrong dishonest and is not harmonized with life I have changed my mind many times rearranged many values but what was left as an as an essential value without which I cannot imagine my life is the freedom of my conscience I would like you my little girl to think about whether I was right another value is work I don’t know which to assign the first place in which ii learn to love work any work but one you have to really to know really and thoroughly then don’t be afraid of anything and things will turn out well for you and don’t forget about love in your life i’m not only thinking of the red blossom which one day will bloom in your heart and you if fate favors you will find a similar one in the heart of another person with whose load yours will merge I’m thinking of love without which one cannot live happily and don’t ever crumble love learn to give it whole and really and learn to love precisely those who encourage love so little my little girl Jana when you will be choosing for whom your maiden heart shall burn and to whom to really give yourself remember your father I don’t know if you will meet with such luck as I I don’t know if you will meet such a beautiful human being but choose your ideal close to him perhaps you my little one have already begun to understand and now perhaps you understand to the point of pain what we have lost in him what I find hardest to bear is that I am also guilty of that loss I’ve heard from my legal representative that you are doing well in school and that you want to continue I was very pleased but even if you would one day have to leave school and work for your livelihood don’t stop learning and studying if you really want to you will reach your goal I would have liked for you to become a medical doctor you remember that we talked about it of course you will decide yourself and circumstances will too but if you stand one day in the traditional alma mater and carry home from graduation not only your doctor’s diploma but also the real ability to bring people relief as a doctor then my little girl your mother will be immensely pleased but your mother would only be truly happy no matter where you stand whether at the operating table at the lathe at your child’s cradle or at the work table in your household if you will do your work skillfully honestly happily and with your whole being then you will be successful in it don’t be demanding in life but have high goals they are not exclusive of each other for what I call demanding are those selfish notions and needs restrict them from yourself realize that in view of the disaster and sorrow which happened to you veera epic grandmother and grandfather and many others will try to give you what they have and what they cannot afford you should not only not ask for it but learn to be modest if you become used to it you will not be unhappy because the material things you don’t have you don’t know how free one feels if one trains oneself in modesty how he or she gets a head start over against the feeble and by how much one is safer and stronger I really tried this out on myself and if you can thus double your strength you can set yourself courageous high goals read much and study languages you will thereby broaden your life and multiply its content there was a time in my life when I read voraciously and then again times when work did not permit me to take a single book in my hand apart from professional literature that was a shame here in recent months I’ve been reading a lot even books which probably would not interest me outside but it is a big important task to read everything valuable or at least much that is I shall write down for you at the end of this letter what I have read in recent months I’m sure you will think of me when you will be reading it and now also something for your body I’m glad that you are engaged in sports just do it systematically I think that there should be rhythmic exercises and if you have time also some good systematic gymnastics and those quarter hours every morning believe me finally that it would save you a lot of annoyance about unfavorable proportions of your waist if you could really do it it is also good for the training of your will and perseverance your photograph showed me your new hairdo it looks good but it isn’t it isn’t it a shame to hide your nice forehead and that lady in the ball gown really you look lovely but your mother’s I noticed one fault which may be due to the way you were placed on the photograph wasn’t the neck opening a little deep for your 16 years don’t primp but whenever possible dress carefully and neatly janna please take good care of grandfather and grandmother their old hearts now need the most consolation visit them often and let them tell you about your father’s and mother’s youth so you can preserve it in your mind for your children in that way an individual becomes immortal and we shall continue in you and the others of your blood and one more thing music I believe you will show your gratitude to grandfather for the piano which he gave you by practicing honestly and that you’ll succeed in what Peppa quants so much and accompanying him when he plays the violin or the viola please do in that favor I know that it would mean a lot to him and it would be beautiful and when you can play well together play me the areia for Martha my rose you bloom alone there on the hillside and then sleep my little prince by Mozart and then your father’s favorite under your window by Chopin you’ll play it for me won’t you I shall always be listening to you just one more thing choose your friends carefully among other things one is also very much determined by the people with whom one associates associates therefore choose very carefully be careful in everything and listen to the opinions of others about your girlfriends without being told I shall never forget your charming letter today I can tell you which you once in the evening pinned to my pillow to apologize when I caught you for the first time at the gate in the company of a girl and the boy you explained to me at that time why it is necessary to have a gang have your gang little girl but of good and clean young people and compete with each other in everything good only please don’t confuse young people springtime infatuation with real love do you understand me if you don’t want Vera will help you explain what I meant and so my only young daughter little girl Jana new life my hope my future forgiveness live grasp life with both hands until my last breath I shall pray for your happiness my dear child I kiss your hair eyes and mouth I stroke you and hold you in my arms I shall always be with you by the next day despite international outcry a Lada hora Cova was executed that pregs and crack prison and again there’s just so much to be learned from those letters and as parents there’s so much for us to teach and I think the thing that hits me is that these are all things that we know we know them we know to take care of our health we know to wake up and exercise we know we should choose our friends carefully we know we should be our own worst critics and we know that if we have been wrong about something we should simply admit that and move our minds to what is right and what is correct we know we should work hard and help people we know the value of freedom then we know that freedom must be fought for there we know that we should be brave and that that is possible only through a strong body mind and heart and we know those things we know them now teach them teach them and live them set the right example by living them because our children are watching they’re watching it and you’re actually you I think you have to do more than just set the example I think you actually have to to tell them think you actually have to tell them and you think about the power of these letters the power of these words but it’s also a real challenge with kids with your own children it’s a challenge because there’s a whole crazy parental child psychology that’s going on here right you got that rebellion or the trying to please you or the competing for attention or that I can’t do anything good enough you’ve got all these psychological things that are going on with your kids and it’s hard it’s it can be very hard just to be straight with your kids about stuff it can be hard not to micromanage them that’s one of the hardest things because you know so well all these things that we just talked about you know them and you know that they’re the best things for your kids and yet if you push them too intensely they’re gonna push back or they’re gonna push they’re gonna head into a different direction because you push them there but I do think that there’s some real value in taking the time to explain what you’ve learned the mistakes that you’ve made and I think it’s key not to so much focus on telling them how to live I think this is the key is not so much focus on telling them how to live but telling them how you have lived the mistakes that you’ve made and how you try to live so that maybe they can learn from some of the mistakes that you’ve made without having to learn from life itself which sometimes life is a much more brutal teacher in fact most of the time and if you have to learn from life sometimes you don’t win harsh yeah parenting is challenging part that I thought think is very important the most important maybe is when you said our children are watching so you know remember the old saying do what I say not what I do where that doesn’t work though because you tell someone hey don’t don’t I don’t know what don’t smoke no don’t try figga retz mean while you smoke don’t be like okay don’t try cigarettes you know whatever you know they’re they’re always white like every day all day every day they’re watching to see how do I act I don’t know how to I’m a kid I don’t know how to act I don’t know what to do in this whole you’re not like when you walk into a party of someone you don’t know and maybe it’s a really nice party or something and maybe it’s a different culture something like that you’re looking around what do I act are we taking off our shoes right here okay we’re taking off our shoes okay are we are we are we eating now are we waiting for a prayer or something like what do we do what it is you’re constantly cannot hide no kids that’s their whole life yeah how do I act I don’t know how to act so of course you’re there the whole time you got things figured figured out you got a car you got a house you’re providing my food you’re going to show me how to act you start saying hey don’t smoke meanwhile 100% of the time you’re acting in a way that allows for smoking me like okay we’re saying it by the way it’s the same exact thing from a leadership perspective yeah the way you act as a leader it’s not at I mean you’re not going to have people that are as moldable as a kid is but there’s no doubt if you way you act as leaders the way your team is going to act there’s no that’s a hundred percent yeah and if you act like a clown your team is going to act like clowns if you take your job seriously your your team is going to take your job seriously if you’re very well balanced in between those two where you you take a job seriously but you still have a good time we were doing it you’re your team is going to follow you with that as well I remember when I was a new guy in a single platoon I would be watching those my leaders all the time in taking you know when they didn’t do something when they didn’t hold the line when they were late or didn’t bring the right piece of gear it was just yeah you just look at them and shake your head now I wanted to perform but what that meant to other people’s like see doesn’t matter if we really perform that well look the boss doesn’t even perform well yeah and so you’re setting your example yeah you have your subordinates are watching yeah everybody’s watching that every night you know how people will be like you know hey I’m the type of person that does this you know I really and everyone knows Brad no you’re not we’ve been watching you that the whole time I’ve known you kind of things so yeah especially that like the boss too even even I mean you get all kinds of different people right in in a work environment so you hear like driven it comes from yourself you’re like really self like motivated and stuff pretty much yeah kind of it litsa even if you have a bunch of self motivated people they’re still watching you like so if you’re like kind of the leader and you’re like hey you know we’re we’re punctual people we get our work done early like we’re this guy and then meanwhile you’re coming in late or whatever the boss is coming in late and he’s slacking you could tell he’s slacking he’s passing like his job off you know other than that in that kind of stuff at the very least they’re going to look at you and not have the respect that I think you should have as a boss or whatever you have to very least and that’s if you have self-motivated people but otherwise the normal situation and I remember feeling that all the time we’re sick baddest I’m not listening to a man yeah man it’s you know what’s interesting too is just think about and I know we’ve done all their letters from parents especially from parents that are you know headed for death or at least of a high probability of death but what would you say to your kids if you knew you were heading there and is it not worth telling them that at some point while you’re alive yeah and you can you can say hey look if you know I’m alive to tell you this stuff this is what I want you to know again now what’s crazy is even with that you have you can’t override your kids with back this way you can’t do that you got to approach it you gotta flank them you gotta flank them you’ve got I gotta flank my kids my kid you know oh they’re not I think it’s a classic example is my son mmm you go to jujitsu right he’s been trying to get to 10 years right he’s 14 he haven’t been training in his whole life right but he’s not as good at jujitsu as I am I mean he’s just not cuz he’s been trained to pretend I’ve been training for 20-something so you can beat him I can beat yes yes but but check it out what’s funny is I’m his dad so when I tell him hey son move your hips over here no you don’t need to do that thank you myself you’ve got to be kidding me you’ve got to be kidding me that is the client to me that’s the ultimate example of your kids are not going to listen to you they’re programmed the programs to reject you at some point they have to move on right that’s the way the species works if they just continue to take from you and they don’t reject you at some point and get away from you then you didn’t could do a good job as a parent is now they’re relying on you and so but that comes a little price the price is that rebellion right the rebellion is gonna come and it’s you know you can identify it you know my youngest it’s so nice you know you tell her something and she’s just got the big eyes and she wants to help and wants to please and wants to do and and understand and I’ll tell you something else there’s another end of the spectrum too cuz my oldest daughter she went through the rebellion she’s already through that and she got through it pretty quickly to where she would like look at me and thank him think you could see it in her eyes that she’s thinking he knows what he’s talking about and I’m gonna listen to what he say now it does it’s probably like a 50% yeah this is not it’s not 100% I’m not just dialing a hundred percent victory I’m telling her what to do because otherwise what’s sad about that this is what’s horrible about that if you could get a child to actually do everything that you wanted them to do they would dominate in life right because you just say okay well you study hard I want you’ve worked out I want you to do everything that I’m not doing yes I’m lazy and I fell short of my own goals right you’d have them do all that stuff they’re not going to do it so you got a flank and I figure you also gotta figure out which ones are important right which ones are really important don’t waste your leadership capital yeah on you know getting your kids to dress a certain way right that’s one parents will spend all kinds of leadership capital on getting their kids to work dress a certain way and the reality is you mean obviously you got a got remain tain some standard of decency sure and cleanliness that’s another lead by example situa yeah it is it is my daughter’s went through a little phase and wearing the short really short jeans or not not jeans but shorts yeah I was like okay cool I was walking around one day at my house I had like a pair of workout shorts on or whatever I just pulled them right up yeah yeah and we’re just walking on how do I look hey if we’re going to show off let’s just show it off hey I got a little of them too I do squats check me out the girls collapsed in agony yeah I’m old clamp dad stop it no that’s disgusting yeah if we’re showing off but let’s show them off listen I’m over here on this quad but while back let’s sort it got it flaunt it you apparently are flaunting it so let’s all flaunt it let’s go into town who’s coming with me no no but you but you can only spend so much leadership capital on getting these minor Corrections made what you want to make sure is that they have good morals and values to go out in town they know where to draw the line on doing stuff that’s good or not good yeah you know somebody asked me a question on Twitter I didn’t actually answer it fully but you know he’s okay you seem to be real black and light about good or evil but I think there’s a lot of shades of grey in there and I totally agree of course I mean there’s a there’s massive amounts of shades of grey in good and evil mm-hmm and then at some point you get to evil yeah there you go from like hey this is bad too evil and you go from you know hey that’s pretty nice too good yeah those are those are things that exist yeah and you want to keep your kids you know out of the evil yeah right and if you waste all your leadership capital trying to push them from doing okay into good and doing the best and you’re gonna let you’re gonna wear it all out in my opinion if there’s some parents that have done a better job than me that’s awesome and they were able to just to keep their kid 5 0 in every category across the board for the whole existence without the kid turning into a crazy you know rebel because that’s what happens to some kids that get pushed that hard yeah yeah I think that whole again that whole leading by example thing man is lay as long as you’re consistent and lead by example they can see you know they’ll see the benefits play out right in front of their face yeah but man these again you can you can be like hey clean your room meanwhile the rest of the house including your room it’s messy and grab clean I tell you to clean your room all the time you never do no how’s this so one of my friends uh one of my best friends I’m Scotty Lewis he’s a by the way you know on the Big Island so this guy would um he was never my roommate but you know I go to the hustle of time and he was real like client clean super clean guy and he’d get kind of mad not mad but just uncomfortable when things are dirty you know so you know he has a roommate or something like that and I remember thinking dang both it’s got a you’re real sensitive about that whole thing you know being clean and they’re like for real clean clean clean clean not a clean freak necessarily but Alma borderline borderline yes so some and just from knowing them and stuff I knew that his parents they would like you know clean his room and stuff like that not all the time or nothing like that but they were involved in cleaning himself so it kind of went opposite to what I thought you know how like if your parents tell if you got taught to clean your room from young aiding you had to do it the whole time yeah I always thought that yeah that that would carry over when you’re out of the house and you go to college you go live on their own that you clean your room all the time I thought that that was kind of in but I start to hypothesize that that’s not it this is what it is if your parents providing an environment of extreme cleanliness whether you do it or they do it or both or whatever but the environment is consistently clean when you leave that environment that’s will be that’ll be what you’re used to interests a little mess with you if it’s not and that’s and sure enough we went to the Big Island you know cruise with him and we go to his house and it’s like museum despot las’ clean not his parents awesome and I remember thinking like yeah that my little theory I think is correct yeah like if you’re used to it did his parents helped him clean or not yes so Lee so here and here’s the thing about this because you can also get the kid that different parents are neat freaks and the kid rebels and just becomes a slob yeah so in yeah and I’m sure there’s all kinds of circumstances that maybe do that I’m sure but I mean generally speaking the environment that you get used to finding also there’s people there’s parents that are slobs that the kids are very neat and orderly because they don’t like that yeah yeah I mean maybe and again these you know I’m sure there’s so many so I’ve never encountered that well Maya I think the key is here what you can’t do is just try and push him like crazy you just have to guide them in what is correct and what you have to really shows like the benefits of why it’s good to keep things in order yeah you know if you’re going to spend an hour looking for your car keys just think of your productivity at that point it’s know yeah yeah so you got to watch out for that yeah but yeah that was my little hypothesis I think it’s true though because think about like think about just the environment of the consistent environment that you kind of that someone will come from they always in a way sort of for lack of a better term free recreate that environment or try to when they leave so like you know like kids they come from a chaotic people yell out yeah they’re gonna probably yell a lot or let’s say they don’t yell let’s say they’d never swear right like I grew up in a household and they don’t swear and swearing like not that good when they go out they want to start swearing know they’ll be sensitive to Cerie for sure how you know for sure so I think that again if if the environment is provided consistently I think that that’s kind of a big concern she goes a long way I think it’s the number one thing Sarah Armstrong or says that yeah I agree with a thousand a interesting consistent try even like small little things like for matter for example it’s the routine is what if I’m a little bit its brush teeth we do stories and questions which is like just you know some story that I made up and then questions like the basically a quiz it’s like rudimentary education like solar system stuff and you make it like a game show quiz so it’s fun and then bedtime that’s it and sleep time to present no deviation of us were outside yeah but that’s the routine consistent so now you I don’t get any pushback and my daughter is a push bash year master in that were the consistent up she took note she just go he can be plain she’s got a little spark to her yeah actually she’s got a lot of spark to a she got it from mom yeah there’s just a ton you know as I was going through these errand I don’t remember where I let read the you know I don’t remember where I read this letter for the first time from mulatto or a Cova but there’s so much good stuff and they’re just your friends carefully I mean just look just when she’s kicking it off you know life is hard it does not pay up for anybody that’s a good thing for kids to understand yeah you know welcome to life it’s gonna be hard get accustomed to it but don’t let it defeat you boom yeah that changing of your opinion one was yeah you’re powerful in life yeah and admitting when you’re wrong if I made this if I made if I had the wrong theory that’s okay yeah I just mean for me Hugh information here we go I’m changing that’s okay you know I was kind of freaked me out with politicians I think that this conversation we had a conversation before all editions people say we a flip-flop to plopper yeah and that’s a negative thing it’s a negative thing if the person is flip-flopping just to get votes yeah and but I mean what if new stuff comes to light they say you know what I kind of changed my opinion on that one yeah yeah or the culture shifts meant like there’s certain things that’s even I mean back to your thing with the short shorts that’s I mean when there’s a little bit different but you have to contend with yeah cultural Jamelia that’s for me like in in a why for example when I grew up like just the swimsuits um or you know sure you wear bikini but it’s like a normal bikini so I come I go to college I come here and move here I go back this is like you know 10 11 years later I’m noticing the bikinis in there’s just way less material and I’m like dang this they’re showing a lot but and ones just you know little kids and stuff like okay and my younger brother who lives there you said that’s just how it is now and things like men you you wouldn’t exactly oh that’s some stuff that I had to like go okay I’m not going to expend a leadership capital fighting not just my kids but fighting culture as a hell yeah that’s it’s live and there’s things that cross the line right yeah is you wearing those short shorts that battle is you don’t want see those your Georgia well you don’t want to have that happen so um like I said it’s not a good information from captain Isaac’s and from doctor or Cova but you know speaking of learning and teaching and questioning speaking of question time sure I think we got a little question time to contend with yep so Q&A yes might as well so let’s uh let’s ask Jocko some questions let’s do that I like your answers to questions jump see that’s kind of a good thing about knowing your phone number yeah I could just text you with questions first my own questions a gross mismanagement of your time it is potentially however I’m pretty quick to answer yeah abruptly and short the answer yep because you pretty much know what the answer is going to be I do and sometimes you just need that backup and that’s or that that that reinforcement you know you know how like you’re like man I really having this issue with myself or whatever like I wanna I’m nasty Akko only is it because it’s real I’m really confused not confused but you know I’m really I need you I don’t have any I’m really when I’m asked chuckle and you can be texting chuckle the answer or the question and you’re like I know the answer like as I’m reading this question to Jocko it kind of yeah yeah so I don’t send it so you get about maybe a third and like a quarter of the questions that I activate star hire you yes that’s good yeah men so good you know the chocolate act Israel question number one chuckle I keep trying to ask around my BJJ school if anyone follows SN C program now you just abbreviated essence you know what that is right no oh it’s strength and conditioning okay sure yeah a hundred percent all right that’s a step like a known as a known thing especially for someone that’s jacked like I know L was into strength and condition I don’t where I’ve never seen that yeah you know that’s maybe I don’t write that maybe I just do it credit just get ready I might drop you no math anyway I’m asking around my jujitsu school if anyone follows a strength and conditioning program for comps which is competition here nicely done you’re up on day everyone keeps telling me to just roll for strength and conditioning what do you think about that okay so rolling is obviously the base right you need to roll and that but that has to it that this doesn’t mean include rolling like we’re gonna go roll however it works out it means rolling with some kind of structure around it so if you get your short rounds you got to get your long rounds you got to get your shark tanks you got to get your positional drilling you got to get your consequence-free drills like Dean Lister makes us do consequence-free drills where you’re gonna start in a position where you might get tapped out but it doesn’t matter right or you’re going to start a position where you might lose position but you’re going to do it anyways and and then Glover that’s what Dean does actually Glover does the consequence drills where you’re already stuff like starting in the arm lock yeah that you’re letting a person take your arm and you’re starting there and you’re just gonna see what you can get out of it or start in the triangle not the triangle danger in the triangle yeah that’s some Jeff Glover you know we did that too and it’s crap right there um but it’s good for you it’s good so you got a you got to do that you know and the short rounds by short rounds I mean short intense rounds yeah right if you my attitude in a three minute round is completely different than my attitude in a 20-minute round or even I mean the ultimate and what believe it or not my attitude in a 20-minute round is different from my attitude in a no time limit round really yeah yeah I guess yeah right especially because in regular training even if you get the submission if I submit you in four minutes I still got to do another sixteen so I might go all hard for four minutes and give us the mission but then I got to go to another sixteen minutes out so I’m gonna I’m gonna have some tactical now if we’re now what’s different is if it’s no time limit after four minutes I get you we’re kind of done we can go and yeah like a little like so we can just be done right I got you but if you get them in one minute we’re probably going to yeah it’s like an mg 4 minutes is probably going again – but like eight minutes so I might I might not submit you in one minute or even four minutes because I want to get you to a point where I know I’m just gonna have to do this one – yeah yeah the psychology uh but so yes you have to roll now but you still need to get stronger right in a classic example this is a hint big Andy big Andy Berke right great jujitsu but wasn’t super strong and I would I said to him hey start doing pull-ups start doing push-ups and dips and squats just start to him and he did he listened to me and in in a matter of a month he felt completely different because he wasn’t working on raw he was just rolling and he was rollin hardcore but just rolling compared to actually getting stronger and then he went on to powerlifting and Olympic lifting and and now it’s like okay I gotta contend with actual power here so that that definitely makes a difference you know his skill was getting better but it wasn’t I was feeling a skill getting better you know but we’re all getting better at the same time but although they started getting stronger so strength that’s the strength part right now the conditioning part same thing Jiu Jitsu allows you to rest and that’s actually a positive attribute of your do gets you game if you can rest while you’re doing it yeah right that’s that’s one of the goods that’s that that proves that you know what you’re doing now that’s actually a negative when it comes to working out because if you do something like a row or a bike or a sprint or a med con workout on a timer they’re no mercy slacking is not rewarded you’re you’re racing against the clock and so those things are going to push you faster for longer periods of time harder than just a roll well so bottom line for strength and conditioning in jiu-jitsu yeah you got to do jiu-jitsu for sure gotta be your base and then you’ve got to do strength training to get stronger that’s deads and squats and cleaning jerks and snatches know where that squats and all the key lifts and get that means doing singles and doubles and fours and fives and sets of 20 I mean it means getting stronger and then you got to work your metabolic conditioning and how do you do that you go argh you go metabolic conditions you you do met cons right you mix in lighter weights doing more repetitions short and you got to mix up the rounds to going short Realms long rounds to Bob you know what’s about is yes that’s about a protocol I don’t know the exact is there exactly another version exact number exact number for the Tabata protocol sure is 30 30 no 20 seconds of work 10 seconds of rest okay so for me that’s like the shortest rounds you’re doing is 20 seconds of work 10 seconds of rest then you got all through on rounds and then you do you know a lot of times I do three on one off four rounds that’s a boxing right a lot of times we’re doing five on one off that’s MMA and then above that you start to get to jiu-jitsu which is 10 minutes one off but what’s interesting is if you’re doing a 10 minute and then one off and then another 10 min around in the one off that blows into one big round so a lot of times where did it got a guy that’s competing black belt or or he’s doing a twenty minute fight or a ten minute fight at one minute 10 minute grappling match one round of ten minutes or one round of 15 minutes you gotta have them take a bigger break in between sometimes during the training so that they’re actually coming in they’re fresh and they can work through the problem again otherwise they’re just going through the 1-hour roll level yes the whole time which is not good for them and obviously you got a one technique here practice technique because jiu-jitsu is what’s going to win and like I just had somebody hit me up on social media and they said because I told the story at some point on this podcast about growing with a black belt girl for the first time the first time I ever rolled with an actual black belt girl I was thinking you know I better bring my a-game a little bit so I don’t get caught here and then when I soon as I started rolling with those like that’s not happening and the guy says does this mean that you can’t defeat a stronger opponent let’s you get to and I said no absolutely my watch girls lighter weaker girls tap out bigger stronger guys on the regular but what we’re what what that situation was not only was I bigger and stronger than I’m also skillet jujitsu yes so doesn’t apply yeah and there’s this element of jujitsu and this actually kind of goes back to on Andy one you know when you get Andy with this his skill and technique and then you add some strength and conditioning to it and it’s like you know so what you do if you if you don’t have if you’re not being strong you can’t really believe anyone on the mat bully I don’t mean bully bully I mean like you can’t just turn on this like you’re saying you’re wrong but you’re not yeah I can strong yeah if you’re seeing Jeff clever yes people cuz I have well he believed in a different way yeah so so and that’s what I mean by bully like you can’t just impose your strength on someone well I’m gonna have to disagree with you can impose your technique yeah I think yeah I mean Jeff Glover will bully guys on the mat if they’re out of line for sure yeah and it’s in a different kind of way so you’re talking about you will you can’t go strength you can’t just start bullying physically bullying yeah you have to technically bully oh yes so accept that yeah so let’s say your technique is is similar and but you have straight-up weight strength and conditioning yeah it really plays a character for sure and not to say that you’ll be able to necessarily top the guy out but him trying to tap you out when you have strength conditioning and sighs it’s like it just gets real hard for sure and unless you lovely the key component there that you mentioned is that I have to have similar yeah because yeah you can be a 235 pounds like guy super strong athlete and if you don’t know JIT Jiu Jitsu Jessica lover is gonna wrap you up like you don’t even know what’s happening he’s 150 pounds yeah yeah well and he and I’ve seen him with that obviously with what roughly 100 percent certainty well with yeah well I you know even beyond roughly 100 percent it is really really close to 100 percent yeah if you don’t know what you did to 145 pound muscle head going against Jeff Glover you’re getting capped out if you do you there’s the area for sure there’s a video I think his grapplers quest I think it’s still online right now yeah up glory goes against this huge game yes sure I think he’s maybe that guy knew some level of Euler than jujitsu fighter yeah you jet to match you know and oh man it’s yeah it’s just crazy to watch that was when Jeff was like 13 or so you crazy vector he’s still crazy but yeah um yeah so the girl you know the girl thing and I remember that question is on Twitter right there’s like a doesn’t do to allow you yes yeah so again yeah perfect exact I mean that’s the answer there because yeah you have all this experience but you know how like how we always talk about like when you lock up with someone you know you can get a really good idea of what they’re about to bring to you ya know it’s James Nielson when you lock up and you’re like what is about this should be pretty easy oh yeah getting swept yeah you’re not a madman for sure there are exceptions for sure but generally speaking you know even just not even beyond just strength strengthen in their grip and the rigidity in their yeah all the you can feel the either that like they’re they’re relaxed to me that’s an indicator yeah someone that just like one of you did they feel relaxed you’re like okay this is this guy probably knows what he’s doing yeah cuz the person that doesn’t know what they’re doing they’re going all psycho yes doing making like little micro moves that are incorrect me know yeah just even putting their foot right there so bro your foot should not be right there right now kind of thing so real quick yeah so but it does go into the strength part as well so like you know when you grab someone wrists or they grab your wrist or something that you’re like okay because Elijah Jesus this is weird a lot of jujitsu is knowing what’s important and what’s not in pressure so you know these that’s not just you get to either I talked about that with with kids and with meaning you don’t expect your leadership capital trying to get you’re trying to get your team to do something that’s not really truly necessary yeah that’s not going to help your cause yeah it’ll gym it’s not gonna help you in jujitsu if you’re focused on something that’s not important and to know what’s important and what’s not is very important as a leader as a parent Anna’s on that gg to player Matt yes of justice and took my flute just and very hard by the way it takes like a lot of experience do you consider these guys who are like if you do a light roll with a really really high level guy that’s when you can start to see okay this guy really thinks that this arm position is really important because he’ll he’ll fight till the death to maintain it you know facial but what about just back to the girl real quick with the girl situation when you lock up with someone strength wise you know you feel like I said you what they’re about to bring so again and when you have the more experience you have the more you’re going to know with like more accuracy and I think that’s what you and actually this point of taking that point in transferring you into leadership is so critical and I’ll tell you I am really good at knowing what’s important what’s not and just by and you can see people that can all spawn up about things and you know just okay their spawn up about something is the same thing with family life you know your your wife gets all spun up about something like what we going to do but we’re gonna keep doing what we’re doing we’re gonna be okay you know you want to focus all your time and energy on that that’s fine go ahead you know let’s go I’ll support you and you can make it happen but you know think about how important something really is when you’re getting spun up about something just think about how important it really is there’s a good chance it’s not that important there’s a really good chance it’s not that important there’s usually four or five things that are really important as a leader that you need to focus on and in that list the further you go down that list the less important things are and actually leaders get spun up on things that are lists on the list number 47 and they’re acting like it’s the most important thing it’s gonna ruin everything and it’s like no doesn’t not that big of a deal yeah so learn that is that why you wear the same clothes every day you know I wear the same because fashion is not important it’s not important to me know for example those short rounds are good when you do short rounds and you Jitsu and they kind of trick you too there’s like Jeff will do that he’ll be like uh three-minute rounds so you have this thing in your head like ops only three minutes let’s just go hard but meanwhile you only got 30 seconds rest before you gotta go again so you’re doing essentially of neck contra jutsu that that’s good that is good for that kind of stuff yeah men’s good yeah agree I like to say some of that some guys say you don’t need strength and conditioning because you the more that any time you spend doing physical activity should be on your jiu-jitsu day that’s interesting I would like to agree with that it sounds good but I would do if I’m going to do jujitsu six hours a day I’d still do strengthen conditions like twenty five half an hour 45 that’s one of the good things about digital you can have different philosophies and still be successful because I there’s that I think like there did Dylan Danis or somebody Marcel Marcel Garcia only does yeah I know and d-nice always trying to convince me that yeah you can do Jiu Jitsu yeah that’s a no well beans all crazy strong though yeah I know he’s that so if any of you to say oh this could you see one the hell is he doing I mean just I don’t know I don’t do good strength training I can hold them to anything for 4-6 hours yeah so Jack hot next question chuckle I have a question about leadership on firefighter and some of the guys on my department have been pushing me to step up and put in for an officer’s position and I’m honored but one we’re one when we were going to a call I was presented with an opportunity to lead and passed it up I don’t know what I was thinking I can’t believe I did that did I just lose credibility if I did is there a was to get back that back away right that’s what he meant yeah if I did is there way to get that back Thanks okay so first of all this is just a general rule if you want to lead always be ready to lead right be ready to step up make sure you’re stepping on people’s toes as always but be ready to lead and the way you do that is you think about you what you do in certain situations you should always be thinking about that you should be thinking even if you’re a trooper or a follower in a certain situation you should think okay or how would I leave what would I do right now what moves what I make how what would I do if a contingency happened right now and what are the possible contingencies that I could be looking at what are they and if you’re thinking that as a frontline guy when the opportunity pops up then just jump on it boom there you go then when it does happen of course you got to stay detached because you want to make sure that you don’t lead too far you don’t overstep your bounds and step on toe so you got to be careful that so you need to live with that mindset and that will make you such a a better leader when the moment does come if you’re always thinking about if you’re always watching like you talked about earlier I’m watching the leader I’m seeing what they’re doing I’m seeing what I might do differently I’m still supporting them I’m supporting you if you’re in charge I’m supporting you but I’m thinking I might I might do this and then you watch what would my what would the results of my decision have been compared to what they did so you you can be thinking like leader even though you might not necessarily be in a leadership position so live with that mindset that’s what you need to do now as far as you passing up the opportunity to lead which guess you’re admitting was an error first of all say this it probably it’s probably not quite as obvious to everyone else as it is to you in your mind just thinking oh man I blew it this is my chance I know I bet the guys went back from that call and didn’t even think about it didn’t even think about it again most likely unless it was just some flagrant I don’t want to leave it I’m already if you did that well then yeah people another but if you just said if you just kind of backed away from a moment and people people might have realized it but anyways regardless of that you probably guess what I’m gonna say then what you gonna do is I want it right you gotta own it hmm so when the opportunity presents itself to explain what happened and what went wrong and what you did wrong right not making excuses but explain where you were weak you know so you say hey guys you know hey remember that last call I should have stepped up and I had to have the wrong mindset I wasn’t ready to lead and I let not only I let you guys down I let myself down and I’m not gonna let that happen again from now on I’m gonna have leadership in the front of my mind that’s what I’m gonna do I’m gonna be thinking about what needs to get done I’m thinking about contingencies and how I’m going to lead and I promise the next time this opportunity comes up I’m gonna be ready to lead so I’m sorry for letting you guys down will happen again okay that’s that’s it boom hmm get the mindset live and think as a leader regardless of what position you’re actually in and then when they call you and the opportunity presents itself step up and lead obviously that’s your default mindset now that seems obvious to me it is truly was it always like that like even before that story that I’ve told over and over again about being on an oil rig and coming up and guys not know where to go or as we’re freezing and and me going okay let’s just step back and look around and make a call and when I did that that was it hmm and so I went to clicked it clicked or I would say I guess I was thinking about it beforehand because I was you know observing my leaders and thinking about what they were doing or what I would do differently in a certain situation yeah yeah it’s crazy because even in everyday life which is what I represent everyday life but you know how your life or girl whatever is like hey we you know what’s the dinner situation Oh what do you want oh I don’t care whatever you want oh you know that’s a time where I always feel this what this guy just asked you know I mean obviously it’s nothing compared to his situation but like hey well you know what do you think for dinner and I’m like I don’t care and that’s really how I feel I don’t care I’m kind of down for whatever anything but that’s not why that that’s not why she’s asking me she wants me she wants me to make that decision to step up and lead step up and be like this is what we’re having for dinner I’m gonna go get her I’m gonna make it or whatever that’s what she wants and really those little just though that situation comes up all it does a good point like you know the old that the jail actually that’s kind of like a joke you know when you ask a girl when a girl says or when you have to go hey what do you want to eat since I don’t care whatever and then you say okay we’re gonna go eat Here Come and I really like of course see ya it you gotta yeah I feel like this guy won when I do that that’s the point there so from now on you’re stopping me I’m gonna do it yes but I want it to be my default is why you know like yours is like your default I enjoy what we’re doing like okay you know what I wish that was true with her when it did come to dinner actually you know it kind of is true because I only go to like three places to eat yes and everyone I go to one eighty percent of the time yeah saying or the other 20% of the time so she says where you want to go I’m going to say that my restaurant yeah we’re gonna Raglan’s an OB here but that makes it hard to the rest wait does she like Ragman so she does oh yes it may be here easier yeah but and if she doesn’t feel like it then she’ll be like I don’t really want to go there okay cool now it’s on you I gave you my vote right no I don’t want to do that but I think you still got to do it you still got to make a decision you gotta like cuz in a way I’m in the same boat as your second scenario they’re like if she’s not in there so I understand I just gonna name my secondary restaurant all right there you go just maybe she’ll say yes maybe she’ll say no well that gotta be my default now though step up and lead yeah you know what I mean what I got to do I got to prepare I got to prepare myself well yeah I gotta have like five options just ready to go on deck that’s what I have three so that’s not what you want yeah and they all come in the same order is be really boring yeah hey you focus on what’s important but I said whenever my wife says uh you know well don’t you ever want to try anything new I said no yeah and I don’t I don’t yeah speaking of which darling you’re my girl I’m looking here anything yeah I’m adorable my happy we’re in the same thing very happy yes that’s actually that I’m going to use that later there but what do you do when the team wants to try something new all right what’s rocking all right let’s do that all right good tips all right next question Jocko I’m a sergeant in my country’s army the reason that I’m sending you this message is because of a tragic incident in our unit this week a young enlisted soldier committed suicide he shot himself with his issue rifle this came as a shock to all of us he was a bright smart and happy guy damn I’m seeking your advice chuckle do you have any advice on how I as a leader can talk to the guys about it how does a group of soldier soldiers cope with a loss when the reason is so tragic thank you and it obviously condolences to the team the and the family of the soldier and I think what you have to do in this situation is you gotta as a leader you got to bring this out in the open I think one of the worst things you can do is pretend that it didn’t happen pretend that the problem is going to go away and I think what you have to do is you have to explain it which is weird because in this case explaining it means admitting that you can’t explain it because you can’t explain it or you’re not going to be able to you’re going to be making up something that you’re guessing at right you’re not going to know what individual what what individual situations caused this to happen you know because who can make sense of that I mean a bright smart happy guy it doesn’t make sense and and and won’t you can’t explain why you I think you have to address it as a reality and I think you got to adjust it as something that your platoon needs to fight against just like they would fight against the enemy or what is the threat the threat is depression the threat is loneliness the that is helplessness the threat is feeling like there’s no way out and being aware of those threats is what allows recognition of the enemy so that you can fight him so I think you got to talk about this with you guys I think that they will become aware of what they need to look out for in others and in themselves so they can alert the platoon that you know JA if you guys talk to Johnny man he seems you know Johnny seems a little off right now we should check in on him we should talk to him or self-recognition man I’m feeling like depressed about something I’m feeling dark it doesn’t I don’t know what I’m gonna do right and on that last podcast that we did I read a couple excerpts in words from some various combat veterans and I touched on the fact that several of them from different times from different wars had written the same thing and they wrote basically that death would be liberating and that it would be an escape from the hell of war from the memories of war and I should have hit on that harder because III think that what that means to me what that tells me is that is that having those thoughts doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s something wrong with you right it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re losing it these you know the the writings that I’m talking about the book and then the writing from a guy that I knew doesn’t mean that you’re losing it and I think that people think to themselves oh I’m I’m thinking about how death would be an easier way right now and as and they think that by thinking that they’re they’re totally screwed up when I think the realities that is what I really think the reality of the situation is that that’s obviously a fairly normal thing to think about and you know I when i was in Ramadi I I definitely I wasn’t thinking about kill myself but I definitely saw that dying in combat was would be a relief to the stress that I was under no doubt and and I didn’t want to die but I’ll tell you what we joked about it I joked about I joked about it with life I’d be like hey if we get a firefight tonight first thing we do is crack a green kemon on my chest so the enemy knows exactly where I am it’s like we’re joking yeah because we’re under a lot of stress but I think my what I’m trying to say is that those feelings or those thoughts don’t mean that you’re done they just mean that you’re human they just mean that you’re human and I think if you keep them bottled up then they might explode so that’s what I think you need to do if that’s what I need to tell your men that these thoughts happen and that your platoon your team needs to be on guard against them and the best way to be on guard is to be vigilant to look for the signs to look for behavior and talk about and then be able to ask for help so one of the big problems these guys don’t want to ask for help because we’re macho yeah I don’t need help with anything we’re our egos are two bigs we don’t ask for help and so we have to put our egos in check we got to pay attention to each other and there’s going to be some people that you’re going to have to pry this out of them right they’re not going to willingly talk about it so I think that’s what you have to do so that you can get somebody some professional up I’m not a psychiatrist obviously and and in a normal infantry platoon there’s no psychiatrist in there but you need to recognize because you’re the first line of defense and how can you get that somebody to a professional that can help them and to be honest this doesn’t only apply to soldiers right it applies to everyone don’t let these thoughts fester in your brain you got to get them out you’ve got to pull them out and like right you’ve got to put them out the light so they so they dry they’re like a vampire they dry up and they wither and they they turn to dust you know that’s what you wonder your exposés you can get the professional help and get things under control so that’s the leadership be straightforward with YouTube to tell them the truth explain the enemy threat that’s what we’re talking about and how you as a platoon are going to look out for it and then obviously you got to grieve the loss you gotta mourn your fallen comrade and then you also have to get back to work it back to soldiering get back to preparing for the enemy that you will face on the battlefield with with a new awareness that there’s a another enemy that can lurk inside the platoon and inside the individual and that you have to protect each other just like you protect each other from a real enemy so that would probably be the the route that I would go good luck brother with that that’s a hard one for sure next question Jocko my leader is not an extreme ownership disciple among other things he’s fostering division within our team how do I help lead those no longer trust in a commander but are awesome guys who want to stay involved how do I bring them back into the fold without threatening our lead or our dear leader alright well first of all you got to become a buffer between your boss and your team that’s what you need to do try and absorb as much negativity as you can and make sure you don’t spread that negativity right this and also this is a delicate situation that we’ve talked about before if you completely support the boss and and and act like the boss is the greatest person in the world the team is going to reject you or there’s a like a high likelihood that they’re going to reject you at the same time if you completely reject the boss then you’ve actually aided in dividing the team because now the team isn’t not aligned with the boss so you have to balance you have to balance us and one of the best ways to do this is to put listen to us you gotta put the importance of the mission and the team above the egos and attitudes so here’s I’m gonna say something like look guys well guys I know we have our differences with the chanock man on some things but we have a job to do all right we have a mission to accomplish and even though we might not agree with the boss on everything it’s our team it’s our team and the performance of the team sure it reflects the boss but it reflects us too so what I say we do is win let’s let’s win let’s be the best regardless of what the boss does or what the boss says let’s win to prove to prove it even with a situation where the leadership might be lacking a bit we’re so good that we’re gonna win anyways who wants to get some of that right there you go let’s win despite poor leadership that’s what we’re gonna do anything I’ll say what in my younger and maybe a little less politically savvy days I would have said something like let’s win not just despite our leadership but let’s win to spite on the airship like we would just perform so well in the face of a horrible leader we’re going to show everyone what was up the underdog cinderella story we’re going to rock so that’s cool you know sometimes your your winning not just despite your leadership but to spite them I’ve done that a couple of times yes career not not the bed of not the best one it’s better to win despite them so despite we had some rough leadership it’s okay and the other thing is you know you’ve even when you’re doing that with a bad leader you’ve still got to be careful I stepped on the leaders toes and the way you do that is really easy you give them all the credit you give them all the credit and that’s good and that little nagging voice that you’ve got in the back your head that wants credit you know that what I’m talking about that you go back don’t worry about that I’m telling you right now you will get the credit in the long run you will get the credit don’t worry about it you might not get the credit on this one or even this week this month maybe not even this year but eventually you will get the credit and recognition that you deserve that you want because your boss’s boss he knows what’s up he knows what’s up and your troops know what’s up and so when everybody knows what’s up when you have a truly bad leader the truly bad leader doesn’t they’re not they’re not just walking around fooling everyone in an organization it’s not happening it’s not happening and if it does happen it doesn’t happen for long it only happens there’s a limited time that it can happen for because every every idiotic move that that leader makes down the chain of command at least one out of every five he does some stupid up the chain of command too and so how is that your group performing so well we know it’s not the leader he’s an idiot oh they must have some good junior leadership in there who’s those guys oh that’s echo Charles he’s in charge of that squad and they’re crushing it so don’t worry about that just lead and win and give that credit away and it’s going to come back to you tenfold that’s what you do kind of in a way goes back to it like people are watching you’re watching your leader these are four little people going to pick up on this yeah and they’re not going to you know that doesn’t mean that the boss’s boss are going to advertise that it has the boss the boss that are a good leader yeah the boss the boss didn’t come and undermine them ya know but when the time comes for emotion when the time comes for a reorganization that’s gonna be happy you know that’s where the that’s what the adjustments are gonna be made yeah good but we get so wrapped up we see ego gets yet where ego gets you yeah kinda watch out for that thing yet to truly let it go when you don’t get the credit you will think that you deserve the credit to truly let it go there’s the challenge yeah that’s a challenging one relish in that which laugh at it yeah you know good boss you did awesome good job yeah cuz that’s why I feel like anyway when that does happen you know when something and it’s not even necessarily someone else gets the credit for what you did it’s just that you like something big happened and it just went completely unnoticed that that it was straight up because of you right so that’s a potential scenario but let’s say you don’t say anything I think that there is a small feeling of satisfaction that you’re like you know you took the high road and I’m saying I you know completely get definite maybe that’s my ego yeah and I look over here I’m not even saying anything I’m giving away so much credit on the man that’s like the perfect amount of you go or perfectly directive ego but cuz usually it’s eclipsed by the fact that you didn’t get your credit yeah usually yeah yeah for sure sorry I don’t want the credit gotta work on that check next question I have a question about the warrior mentality I recently was dumped on a deployment and it’s difficult now that I’m home stateside how does the warrior handle this is it like any other emotional loss I’m trying to use this loss and get after it and improve myself mentally and physically not sure how to properly submit questions to the podcast alright so the Dear John letter the old classic Dear John letter and so you know agree sometimes you can keep it at bay when you’re deployed but then when you get home and you get back to the places the familiar places where you have the Mets Pacific memories that’s that’s where the pain start to come in and that’s fine you know that’s that hurts that’s we get that but in my opinion I’ve said this before the person that you built in your mind first that you had a relationship with that you built in your mind that person doesn’t actually exist they’re not real they’re not real she wasn’t who she appeared to be and she isn’t who she appeared to be she isn’t the sweet understanding fun person that you cared so much about that’s not her that’s your memory that’s what you built in your head she is actually the selfish self-centered person that cares about herself first and doesn’t care about you that’s the reality and that’s fine but a lot of times the pain that we feel isn’t based on the reality it’s based on the fantasy so you’re feeling pain of losing something that wasn’t real so let the fantasy go remember that she is not the perfect person that you built in your mind period she’s not otherwise we wouldn’t be in this situation right now and then move on brother get after it work out train hard go to jujitsu hike run a play guitar just get after it and those things not only going to distract you from the pain which is good they’re going to improve you as a human being which is good and then rebuild your confidence which is good they’re gonna make you feel good they’re gonna make you stronger and smarter and better and put you into a place where you don’t need that little made-up fantasy anymore and they’re gonna put you in phase where you find something better than the fantasy now I’m gonna say right now the fantasies don’t exist the perfect girl or guy for you doesn’t exist they don’t exist so you’re going to be out looking for someone that’s good but you’re not going to find perfect don’t get obsessed with finding perfect if you find someone that’s perfect it’s not true everyone’s got their flaws so that’s what you have to do and you will end up finding someone that’s real and I get it man I know you’re going to have some moments down in the hole as Alison chains put it or trapped in the heart-shaped box as Nirvana put it or so lonesome you could cry as Hank Williams senior put it is that you notice a theme here this is what people go through but those feelings of they’re temporary so let them say hi let them hang around for a minute or for a half an hour an hour or whatever and then kick them out kick those feelings out get them out of there and go do something else take your mind away from those memories of fantasies and put build some good memories that are real and yeah you know what you can use your anger and your frustration to fuel positivity for sure I spent much of my youth doing that very thing for sure all those breakups yeah I turn those things into fuel and the other thing I’m gonna use if if you take action of your body your minds gonna follow and pretty soon you’ll be on to the next chapter and you can move beyond this bad fantasy chapter that you kind of got roped into man shaking curls man I can teach you every time if you let him it’s so hard to ever went to so many times you know because when I was a assistant platoon commander platoon commander attachment well what I was doing right but more in the earlier phases right because once I was you know what asked you to commander I was doing a little a lot less those those problems that would come to me on a relationship level would be something big you know divorce custody of children yeah kind of domestic violence scenario like real things but when I was younger and I was in a seal platoon that’s when you’re dealing with guys going through the breakup with the girl and that you know the method messes with my Headley has messed with my hand man yeah of course every guy goes through that me you ever that’s the way it is you get that weird thing kicking around in there and you start getting crazy and what’s so funny is what’s so funny is when you’re on the outside of it so like when you’re in the heart-shaped box yourself you just can’t see anything else it’s just yeah Ewa stating and everyone that’s looking at you is like bro let’s just go to the bargain night you meet 17 new girls tonight yeah but I’d like a bag I thought my special girl knows that I remember I kind of had to this is kind of evil but I had a kind of a standard response to guys and they’d say you know hey you know I broke up with Jennifer last night I mean oh sweet man let’s let’s roll I would always and I even carried that honestly this is like not something I was to go do anymore but even when guys who would be like came in me and Jennifer getting divorced a Bic oh right on bro good right that’s rock and roll y’all kind of and in part of it was just to kind of spin it like guys man not that it’s not the you need you need you don’t just wallow in it right you’re getting divorced okay here’s what you need to do here’s how you maneuver but let you know what are you gonna do you’re gonna get dragged down by that into that mire or you’re gonna you know salvage what you can of your life and let’s move on let’s rock and roll yeah so that’s again it might be a little harsh I don’t know that I would still have that react maybe with maybe fall still immature you know and Lowe’s and 99 I had one guy that had been in I probably said that too we have a high divorce rate in the single penis yeah again 85 90 percent divorce rate so I’ve said this to quite a few individuals over there I only had one that ever kind of you know was was like no man you don’t get it and I said no I said you get it mm-hmm you don’t get it yeah and it always is a little rougher when there’s kids involved and all that so that would put another little horrible spin on it but the bottom line is that is a good attitude to have hang broke up with my girl right on I’m glad I got out of this relationship before it developed into something where I did have hooks in me yep financial hooks children yeah all those things I made it out scot-free you know on getting divorced oh you have any kids no okay rock and roll yeah you got kids okay well how’s it gonna go you know what are you put in line yeah you know so yeah definitely hard here’s a question have you ever gotten your heart broken to negative and you haven’t straight up even a of course I wrote I was about was a boy boys get their heart broken when Lynn tell me did you 10:11 yeah that well I’m something like oh I’m funny one ish time because you know when you’re 10 it’s like okay 15 14 17 13 I mean I think once I was obviously once I was in the SEAL Teams I kind of had that coping mechanism yeah yeah – yeah I’ve got to be hard yeah and the girls are like mmm yeah you know you gotta you got to just kind of be but the other young that’s you know the younger days for sure every guy goes through that and that’s what that’s what’s hot and you know what I’m saying guys specifically but the girls are the same way both guys and girls food most horrible breakups when you end and this is the other thing that we got to realize as parents when you’re 16 years old we you know I look at my 15 16 17 year old daughters right as they were growing up and and I think oh they got a boyfriend whatever he’ll be it’s this guy is meaningless yeah in their lives ice actually know that these guys are meaningless yeah in terms of the broad spectrum of their life yeah but guess what when you’re 15 years old and you got a boyfriend that is your whole life yeah and so when something goes sideways I had to say oh I had to remember that myself when I saw my daughter’s distraught over something I’d say okay here’s what’s going on this is her whole life and I try to explain to him this guy I understand that you like him and then he was good and blah blah blah but you know let’s remember you’re only 15 and there you know you’re going to meet another nice guy and other there’ll be other opportunities and blah blah blah but of course it barely barely gets through their head yeah Lily they can’t even imagine a doctor died 50 right no because he’s a bet no oh yeah and so yeah yeah you’re your own that question restriction from now on no about I wanted to know I think we all wanted to know next question Junko what’s your take on false motivation versus authentic leadership okay false motivations versus authentic leadership now there’s two kind of two kind of ways of understanding this question the first is from like a really heavy leadership perspective and that is of trying to lead without actually believing in what you’re doing and that’s leading without understanding why and not believing in what you’re doing and that’s wrong right and this is an extreme ownership of course and we talked about on the podcast you can’t do it if you don’t believe in what you’re doing your team is going to see that and they won’t believe in it either which means they’re not going to go above and beyond to accomplish the mission period so you got to believe what you’re doing and if you don’t believe it then you got to ask the question up the chain of command find out why understand why so you believe in what you’re doing and eventually you’re going to get the answer right venture you’re going to understand why you’re doing something you’re going to believe in it or you’re gonna you’re going to convince the chain of command that that’s not a good method and you need to go a different direction and there might be some rare in extremists case where you actually don’t feel you’re I’m being told to do something I don’t believe in it and I’d say no I’m not gonna do it in like Napoleon said Napoleon’s Maxim’s if you you you actually have to refuse to do it if you don’t believe it’s the right thing to do then you don’t do it that should be a very in extremis because our as a leader when we’re being asked to do something or told to do something or lead in a certain way they’re leading us towards victory right they’re leading us towards an aligned victory if it’s on the battlefield it’s winning the war if it’s in business it’s creating profit and creating the product and growing the business right those things are that that’s what you’re trying to do so if echo is life I’m the boss and you come to me with a with something and say hey I want to do this if it’s going to make us more profitable why would I say no right so we’re going to move in that direction so from a high level false motivation doesn’t work if you don’t believe in something it’s not going to work out for you now from a micro level from like a frontline level and the buds instructor used to joke about this that false meta motivation is better than no motivation have you ever heard that is that a common expression false motivation is better than no motivation and we don’t want that to be true right because we want motivation to be this pure golden thing that fuels performance but the fact of the matter is and of course we talk about all this all the time motivation doesn’t hold up right motivation doesn’t know how many motivated people motivated people didn’t make it through CEO training a ton of them they’re all motivated mmm how many of them didn’t make it for training our time and how many motivated people do you see that don’t accomplish their goals that they have right the world is full full of those people there’s a ton of those people yeah and that’s because motivation doesn’t hold you up we all know this it’s discipline that holds you up it’s discipline that gets things going and it’s discipline that gets you through things but this is a little interesting little spin if you have the discipline to press on wanna have a little fun with it right and that’s where I think false motivation can come in and it can make some things fun for instance it’s cold wet and miserable and we have to go swim over the beach and do an operation let gets down the pressure or it’s 118 degrees with massive humidity and we have a 14 kilometer patrol to get to target let’s get them right ooh yeah or the water is 41 degrees and we’re about to launch an a for our dive right hell yes let’s do this right that that’s false motivation but it’s backed up by discipline and it might not be real but it absolutely beats the hell out of this is could it be miserable that I want to do it right what would you if you and I were going to go do something that was going to suck would you rather have me say oh I really don’t want to do this but I’m disciplined so I’m going to do it would you have rather have me say echo this is gonna suck let’s go get some it right you’ve got to have a false motivation yes sir strap on the pack and put on the mask and fins and fire up the false motivation you’re after it now I would say this I wouldn’t even be sarcastic with false motivation I won’t even blink and I actually might this is the difference my false motivation isn’t even false I actually believe my own false motivations yes it’s working and by the time stuff came out of my mouth I meant it I meant it so I don’t know at some point in my childhood false motivation turned into like an actual fuel and just just regular motivation maybe it’s cuz I realized that I wasn’t counting on it to get me few things I was just having fun with it rock and roll oh do you think also how you know you like you’d always say that your can in just being hardcore is like a normal stuff you learn for sure whatever so you know when you think back and you’re like okay I’m gonna take the hard route or whatever after you finish it you kind of feel more proud of it forever like do you think that that played into it yes that is like I can be yeah for sure for sure be more hardcore yeah like like I said like the meaning of the meaning of the music hardcore when I was a kid was being hardcore is the actual meaning of the word and so yeah it’s real easy to go from that to like hey I’m gonna do something that sucks and I’m gonna have a good time with I’m gonna laugh about it yeah and then it is contagious yeah they’re all contagious I’m actually not like that now and if would you say you’re gonna like no I’m actually like that now okay not too you know hundred percent but in a lot of things then like my um my daughter she’s four she weighs 45 47 pounds so I’ll be sitting or I’ll be laying on the couch not paying attention she’ll climb up on the couch behind and jump in land like you know what Annie drop is right notic me drop yes so just so you know for a while in my house there was no rules in my house no actually there was no there was only two rules in my house when my kids were like when my older kids were like you know seven six whatever that those types of ages that your daughter’s out right now but a little bit older there was two rules in my house number one don’t touch me when I’m eating number two no atomic me drop thing they would do it to each other oh yeah they might have to doing it to me but they were atomic me drop each other yeah so I had to have two rules I’m plus I wouldn’t have a lot of time to eat and all of a sudden it’s like they want to hold on my arms no no no no you’re worsening you want a meeting like a like a rabid dog and it’s any one of them the reason that’s fresh in my mind because we were just on tripping and you know my kids were explaining to my youngest daughter that well you know when we were little dad was meaner hmm and he wouldn’t let us touch him when we were when he was eating like you just did yeah and of course I said well that’s cause she’s cuter than usual all of you I don’t mind that time it needs ups anymore because of you because of the very reason like you gotta be hard core school a okay you got a four-year-old kid Yeah right so you have fun that is for her to a table drop you yeah which is another reason why I’m like this now so so climb on the couch a talking knee drop while I’m not ready by the way watch my ribs so she didn’t break my ribs she didn’t injure me to any blasting degree but if the normal mindset is like a why did you jump why’d you do that it hurt yeah let’s face it 45 47 pounds top of a couch stomach knee drop both knees by the way all the way velocity all that stuff hurt by the normal standard of things so the typical mindset I think would be like don’t do that especially the shock in but default is just like whatever you know factor yeah Harger and yeah sure it is a catch-22 because she will and does and but she thinks it’s all fun and all the stuff but yeah that’s that mindset and that came directly from you like BR it’s like jawan complain about that right there oh you let that happen yeah it’s really embarrassing if you complain to your four-year-old yeah anything you heard about anything yeah write about anything I agree that that’s the setting example you were talking about earlier yeah you complain about anything and you’re wrong agree so just suck it up yeah say bring it on yeah false motivation which becomes real motivation which for be hardcore the only like I said the only sort of reason for motivation for me is just funny just funny it’s not going to actually get you to do anything but just let’s have fun I’m gonna do it anyways yeah I’m gonna let the atomic knee drops happen over and over again I’m gonna and so why when I could go through life just experiencing them and accepting them one I have some fun with the atomic knee drops as long cold dives in those hot weather and the you know dehydration and the hypothermia why not have fun with all those things yeah and I mean you probably know but it’s unbelievable how much that helps you myself you know what I think maybe because my view of motivation is so low yeah that to me it’s just funny yeah like false motivation like it’s fun of it yeah and it but it is fun yeah it’s a fun thing yeah that’s all and that’s kind of part of what I mean kay so that you know the mats I don’t know if you noticed I brought the mats in yes but whatever so those mats there I think it’s like sixteen of them I forget how many but they cover a two full two-car garage covers it perfectly it’s a lot flatter max and the two inch thick ones so to move them you know update you know the topography is that even so you had so you I’d like some legit challenge and not yeah and I’m not even saying that here’s not enough here this would have to be product like a came in put the match right there boom one day I don’t know whenever the other day and then you know I walked to Jade’s office my brother you know he’s like oh hey what’s what are you doing here oh my god just put the mats in here he’s like you put the mats in there what do you do you what did someone help you with that I looked I mean I said I don’t need help but it was a joke because that’s a line item this thing so um but the point there is this just that that attitude you know like no I don’t need help no I don’t you know cuz I’m trying to be like jockle you know fucking hardcore I don’t need help glitter just can’t hurt me here make a complaint you know like that mindset but I said assume you’re serving into a complete savage but little kids can’t hurt you and you can carry the mass by your own yeah and your own that’s another thing this is another little expression is because my son when he was could before he could talk well he would see would want to do something EJ let me DJ I do it by my own right by myself or on my own yeah make them to buy my oh so happy kids outro I became a thing here’s a legitimate one that that just changed it changed this specific thing where you know how I’d like I’d be the kind if I didn’t get enough sleep I just I’d let it ruin me so if I didn’t have something specific like um important to do so just throughout the day I’m tired you know whatever so now I’d never admit that I’m tired yeah that’s a good great starting place yeah I’ve you know I’ve explained that to my son is is you just don’t admit ever that don’t let those words come out of your mouth yeah tired of it or whatever just just stop are you getting the teams do you that’s just that’s just a putting up a red flag of being complete pansy don’t do it don’t do it as a matter of fact you know it’s jacked up is like I won’t even let’s say you and I were to go out let’s say was wintertime and you know were to go out and I had a sweatshirt with me mmm-hmm because I knew it might get cold right but we’re out already and I have the sweatshirt oh my god you can’t put it on I won’t even put on you get can’t put it on yeah cuz anything you might say why were you called Golda people work yeah yeah dang that’s a good one yeah yeah I’m going to do that too or should I say not do that yeah Brad and I remember the different references I think I told the story for every time we’re joining from LA he was like late at night and you’re like yeah I know I’m this big bad team guy or whatever but I’m kind of tired right now and then almost like you just it was painful to let the words out of your mouth you know like you let him slip and it really hurt you it was like maybe like three seconds later you said fuck it I’ll just drop them on Tana if I happen right now I’ll just get in the order do you guys but I rel will tell the buddy outside yesterday I was driving and my wife’s tears like are you been sleeping much are you okay to drive up like yeah and I actually I did the same thing I was kind of like well I’m super tired I can drive indefinitely yeah yeah I don’t know though I mean you I don’t know maybe you’re different maybe not but no actually no I don’t encourage people doing that yeah don’t encourage it that’s a that’s a horrible thing to do is drive when you’re super tired yeah yeah don’t do that well uncle I it’s it’s 74 but uncle I it’s really boring to drive feels so easy this is so like you don’t so when you get like tired or sleepy or whatever it’s really easy to just fall asleep super easy and that’s hard because you can’t control it it’s like I think you can just I can control in sure there’s little tactics looking like her do little things that you know it’s like paint on yourself whatever but then it’s really hard to control once you follow see I know don’t tell you that don’t like that you wake up in a bridge and moment just yeah dad or wake up that yeah yeah that was not good this I was reading this thing on motivation and it said in this book I’m not saying that this is true or not true but it said I made sense where motivation people misuse the word motivation and they confuse it with inspiration so inspiration is like what’s gonna get you all revved up to do something right like what you’re saying like what you know let’s do this er you see a mansion now you’re new fired to work hard for stuff or whatever listen to some speech some quote-unquote motivational speech it inspires it doesn’t motivate you motivation is your your bare raw motive the motive for you doing it so let’s say I feel like I said this before but the let’s say I want to get in shape you know girls will get in shape for their wedding you know that’s the mode is to be in shape for the wedding okay so that doesn’t go away so she’s not necessarily inspired meaning she’s like she got infused with some feeling yeah you know you know you just want a motivation wouldn’t go away but it would well it’s no no here’s the only way to get her there is discipline yeah the motivation if she wakes up at five o’clock in the morning go get a workout and right where she goes to work but did you really need to just be like you know what I’m not going with motivated today right I’ll just get to get the wedding dress you know let out a little bit yeah but that just means that the motive motivation the motive isn’t strong enough to overcome her feeling their lack of the original I don’t rely on it yeah you’re not gonna find a motivation that’s strong enough to make you do the things that you have to do all the time you don’t you can’t doesn’t exactly you kind of well I defend it just depends so consider a lighter stop consider a fighter with a fight you have to make weight throw yeah you’re right guys don’t make that weight and that’s what I’m saying though the motive and you know what you know where that you know when that motivation failed that motivation failed you know five weeks yeah when they should win a life guys burgers yeah they had a Five Guys Burgers yeah you right yeah so let’s went over on yeah it does totally now you can have fun with it and you can be motivated to have discipline and you can say oh like Pete Robin from origin jeez I was up with him in Maine and he’s like got a bet to lose weight and he hit me with some false motivation because we were out we were out and you know we were or I was ordering big steak and just getting after the grub sure and I said like how many more pounds you have you know we’re talking about as I get kind of stuck inside here he’s like no I actually enjoyed watching you eat delicious food you know you little false motivation covered Isaac but in a funny way yeah and instead of letting it out like that instead of being just miserable why not just have some fun with it yeah yeah look my advice yeah fully but then the difference though like I said I agree you’re right I mean I point out maybe making was a was just the technical difference between motivation and inspiration you know in the holiday we not talk hey you wanna be nobody I know because both those words that limbs in a geyser yeah they’re weak words and the weekend and the actual subjects are weak inspiration all renovations like it’s not gonna get you there clapping it might get you through like a the first three minutes of you know you and I were just talking before you came in here you said there was moments in your workout today when you put it easily or yesterday I could have easily called it okay man I’m sorry I got a good workout but didn’t yeah you held the line this discipline discipline it was actually I created false with it just to be told you’re right but I’ve created false motivation for myself I say you know what I’m going to do this actually it’s the way for me to facilitate discipline for myself is I want to do this because I’m going to feel better afterwards or yeah you know that whole do you talking about this then you contrast it with how junk I’m going to wheel if I don’t week embarrassed for myself by the way and when I said that um you know how workout has many opportunities to stop yeah so one the first opportunity is in the parking lot in this case I went to a gym so bro if you walk away when you’re in the parking lot you got issues well I’ve done that I’ve done that like four times and I admit that on the podcast you just lie mallette what makes this current story okay more significant so boom that’s the first opportunity second opportunities before you warm up which is pretty close to the first offer come on before you want me ever quit then yes oh my god Weiss one time it felt real good because I justified it but very effectively and the second time I was like I just got to get after it tomorrow whatever nonetheless then then it’s after the first body part or the first sort of you know yep I’m gonna do you know neck on first I’m gonna do squats first so you know it’s after the first exercise the other part really yeah yeah that’s one of me like to me the biggest hurdle is getting there yeah which is when you have your gym your house that’s that’s Turtles gone I agree that it gets easier to hold the line for sure after you start but there’s a part at the end you know like how you just said you’d like to do your manga on my yeah afterwards no lately I’ve been doing that calm before and Kevi a fragrance yeah that’s not a message but you’re right I could say you know what that Matt come was a little bit heavy yeah we not just call it good oh yeah the heavy part yeah exactly right and it is so good when I’m all loosened up yeah yeah so same deal with me and I uh you know every opportunity to quit was passed with weeds well done echo Charlie Anna so last question I got time for one more yes chuckle I am a chronic excuse maker how do I stop making excuses and get things done the chronic excuse maker how do you stop making excuses this is actually pretty simple and I said it the other day and you have to realize you have to know you have to accept that all your excuses are lives their lies all of them think about the things that you tell yourself the lies you used to rationalize taking the easy road taking the easy road and leaving discipline behind think about them you don’t have time that’s a lie you don’t have support that’s a lie you don’t have the equipment or the gear rise you don’t you don’t know the best way who cares that’s a lie or you’re too old or you’re too young of course you’re too old or too young lie and there’s you’re too busy sure you are that’ll I you’re too tired or you’re too sore or you’re just plain not feeling it lies lies lies and the list goes on and on and on then it doesn’t stop if you don’t make it stop so recognize recognize the excuses are not valid they aren’t they’re trumped-up they’re conjured up they’re fabricated they’re lies then how do you stop the lies you stop the lies with the truth the truth the truth will set you free the truth will stand and the truth will deliver you from procrastination and laziness and the downward spiral that comes with a lack of discipline so don’t believe the lies believe the truth and the truth is you have time you have the skill you have the knowledge and the support and the willpower and the discipline to get it done so cast out the lies burn them down and listen to the truth and live the truth and go out and get it done and I think that’s all I’ve got for tonight so echo yeah speaking of the truth sir could you perhaps explain to us how to support this podcast if we want to if we want to hear yeah what you can do is support yourself mmm I think I made this analogy before you know in the aircraft all right pre take off we go through the safety instructions in event of cabin pressure loss yeah oxygen tanks mask comes down put on yourself before you can all that I mean that’s a good kind of thing where you support yourself then you can help support others so support yourself this is how with supplementation like it and again I’ll say this again I’ll say it every day if I if I am compelled if I’m motivated to inspired either way I’m now into supplements not a bunch but before I was like not supplements you just get good nutrition anyway so krill oil and I think this is a daily thing by the way and I think you can maybe relate I think daily on how happy I am that I take krill oil and it I don’t like thank my lucky stars nothing like that I’m saying there are daily things that it’s on my mind that I’m like this experience would be different if I did not take krill oil straight up that is true so I got a so I back my car into the garage loading mats oh yeah that was another time but this is more recently so it’s getting feeling you know you fill up the 5-gallon things of water yeah and I talked about that so I’m putting like you got to maneuver it because I said the garage I should have pulled out but whatever I’m area hardcore many times on the new drains got to take it out and I don’t want to you know so you it’s hard to explain but you know when you’re in place whatever it’s true it’s a flick it’s applicable everyday life krill oil isn’t just for deep squats heavy if you’re taking five gallons of water in a jug out of tight spaces where you got to kind of twist you know yes because you don’t want the car door to hit like the other car door go dented good time to have the chrome oil in you yeah man and and really that’s well that’s part of the payoff is what big part is the everyday things it’s true for sure yeah there’d be times where I would be sitting down a long time and I stand up and I’m surprised on how little pain I feel not pain you know what I’m saying yeah but you ever been like that where you think like yes I’m gonna feel like all this this is gonna be stiffer gonna be heard or what and it’s just simply not yeah yeah yeah dad that part is real so get your krill oil in the event of you even wanting krill oil these are my experiences obviously chocolate is walkers you take krill oil as well indeed get them from on it on it calm / chuckle if you want the 10% off also the alpha brain so the crude oil that’s like I don’t think that’ll ever go away no the alpha brain I am using a lot more I’m reading more to coincidence maybe maybe not one light because then the other correlation may not be causation but I’m just saying that is happening and I will admit this as far as workouts go I’m getting real into the kettlebells you’ve always been into the game yes yeah not always but no 15 yeah you know something in the game I’d say like maybe 10 years or something 12 years yeah maybe it has been 15 years yeah because I just remember that picture go rogue I think Joe Rogan and I were talking about the picture of fadeaway theater yeah look that out right when you guys yeah I’m faded out the pictures on it with me it was like okay cool yeah yeah although it’s kind of hard to get him back then though yeah well yes I think it was Joe Rogan saying how like somebody introduced him to American that’s that’s with some Russian guy yeah man they’re really good again being careful every single moment but I’m to the point right now where I like you know you get kind of good and it gets even fun or like anything and then I’m like ah let me get that heavier one now we get to heavier one but I will say this about the kettlebells my experience I started off the kettlebells getting these designer ones you know primal bells on it zombie bells probably actually didn’t get the zombie I got primal and then the legend werewolf once anyway they’re cool right cool to look at so you know who I’m kind of like I don’t know if I should be proud of this or ashamed of this but I’m like the kid you know the teenager gets their driver’s license and there’s two types of kids there’s the one kid who the dad’s like hey you got to learn to walk before you can fly so you got it like I don’t know I’ll make the down payment you make the payments or something that you say or you make the down payment or whatever you know like you got to work for this first car and it might not be the you know the BMW whatever then there’s the other kid who rolls right into the BMW you know hey good job you’re 50 now big big big time of your life time in your life whatever here’s a dope car congratulations love you son you know then there’s that guy that’s kind of Who I am with the kettlebells you know I didn’t like pay my dues you know when the killer whales were new and all the traits to it yeah I was a BMW so don’t get a werewolf you know anyway a lot of cool stuff on there on the way on it calm a lot of cool stuff on there um all legit stuff that’s I think the real compelling thing for me anyway is because I know these supplements men they’re wax I’ve heard of people getting the supplements and then you know the supplement was like contaminated with something and then they say oh yeah they just mix all the supplements in the same thing and the fat it’s like it can be really whack nonetheless on it that’s the good ones quality so I hope you want 10% off on it comm flash charcoal strombone to go into free attendance in my experience also Amazon so where do we get these books sure we didn’t do books today but we do what what 66% of time would you say probably some books yeah maybe more sometimes more than one well yeah last time we did three books three books boom all on the website by the way yeah so anyway if you this is another support yourself situation a lot of times people ask aid you know where which book was that again you know and they got to go back for it don’t ask for me for a reading list hey do you have some kind of reading like yes I got a reading lesson sonsaku podcast com every book that I enter and by the way are there books that are they’re good books that you’ve read that you haven’t put on the podcast not really when I read a book and it’s good it’s going on the podcast yeah if I read a book in its lame it’s not going on the podcast now there’s some books that are informational but they don’t cut it for the podcast you know I wouldn’t recommend them I’ll tell you a little bit a little I just realized this I had a book selected for the podcast mm-hm like three weeks ago and I got a hundred pages into it it didn’t cut the mustard for the podcast yeah and I’ll tell you one of the major reasons for those you that recommend me books a lot one of the major reasons that it didn’t cut the mustard for the podcast is not only was it not a first-person account but it didn’t even have like a lot of excerpts of first-person accounts it was just factually this is what happened this is what happened this is what happened is very well detailed as a good book but it wasn’t podcast because I mean if you want to do that if we’re just gonna read facts dates facts elements maneuvering that’s that’s you could just listen to the audiobook right yeah yeah or or just go look on Wikipedia yeah and it’s going to tell you the dates and times and where total units maneuvered and who on the battle and how many people cast as they were but all that stuff’s in there we don’t want just that I want to hear what the people were thinking I wanna hear that from the human beings yeah so even though there’s people send me books if you’re going to send me a book look for the first-person account if it’s not a first-person account like machete season that’s not a first-person account but it it interviews the killers yeah so you’re gearing the first-person accounts and then yep and that reading list so that reading reading list is pretty pretty well vetted then like straight up it doesn’t pass the jockle approval of recommendations ongoing are there is not one on the podcast not going on and then therefore you know bility quaintly no I’d rather not do a podcast and put a lame book on the podcast what happened boom and that’s the standard right there so dokku podcast calm top menu little thing says books from the podcast all of them there’ll be later yep and what I’m kind of starting to do is like look at you know how I like I mentioned that book of mine is called mind games just small little book I think you could you put it on there yeah anybody somebody tweeted I know you put it on there yeah so I’ll put that kind of P if you’re if we mention us call book and listen for what let’s say it doesn’t fit or you didn’t get to it or whatever but there’s some sort of a lack of etiquette buzz going around it yeah put it on there nonetheless point there is get the books from there click through there that’s a good way to support swatch and fig reaction and if you’re gonna shop for duct tape and other you know stuff that you mean do that to like the website without double support double support yes dang still one action one big reaction you understand what I’m saying also subscribe to the podcast on iTunes stitcher google play and other podcast providing platforms that’s a good way to support of course and also youtube some excerpts on there when yesterday today yeah yesterday so those are even and I knew this before but those are getting more and more in my opinion significantly valuable because even I you know I don’t memorize every word of every podcast but when I go through and I kind of look at it and you know and then you know I listen to it listen to the three minutes or whatever it’s like a good little reminder it’s like a refresher and that’s not to mention let’s say if I totally forgot it you know yeah that’s like I’m not to mention if you hear it you go that reminds me of Bill he’s having that issue gonna send it over to Bill no problem shareable yep and he’s gonna he’s gonna probably watch it as opposed to hey Bill here’s here’s that the podcast I was talking about with your issue it’s Henry hours and 27 minutes long ganna saw me cute right bill might not listen to that quite yet he might get around to it might not not if he’s in her not if he has a busy life you still might find a way anyway but if they are shareable and they’re quicker so you when you click on equal listen to them there’s excerpts including those and also other videos I’m going to put on there but you know we’re working on those so yeah you did subscribe get some as they say also chocolate a store it’s called Jocko store chuckles store calm that’s the website it’s an online store good one just did a little revamping of it a little bit a little bit more user friendly not that it wasn’t user friendly before but you know you can I don’t know so I think it’s a little cleaner or whatever um but you know nonetheless the shirts are still available there if you like the shirts you like the designs get some I’m not saying just hey guys support like buying shirts I’m not saying that not saying that at all I’m saying go to the website Jaakko store com check them out if you like them get up support that way that’s how also some tribal travel mugs on there some bumper stickers this hoodies but should we be wearing hoodies right now well we shouldn’t here yeah we live in California the other in California some people live in cold places like where Alaska oh yeah yeah that’s true my or way Mia that’s true also rash guards on there though so is it too soon to have like another rash guard it’s too soon huh I don’t really necessarily think so yeah I actually think more rash guards is better it’s better the more the better yeah well hey we got throughout so there’s you know rash guards on there as well some women’s stuff and yeah if you want to support that way get yourself a garment there’s a sick rash guard no sick rash guard like I said I’ve been hanging out a little bit with a guy named Pete Roberts from origin jeez up in Maine yeah my home of record for the military by the way New England yes and he made a he made a rash guard like a special fourth of July a rash guard and I’m going to go ahead and say affirmative it’s out of control you got to check it out it is George Washington wearing Aggie riding a snake a giant snake that don’t tread on me snake yeah so it’s I don’t know if he’s going to make a lot of them but if you don’t have one I think we all should basically have origin Maine calm you can get one of those origin origin Maine ma ine yeah porridge in Maine calm and what you know where you know where they’re made what you guess where they’re made well you figure Maine no you figure oh well he’s if he’s getting a rash guard they’re probably made in China maybe or maybe they’re made in Pakistan maybe or maybe they’re made in Taiwan Nate well there’s also a whole bunch of places that make them like Sri Lanka and Vietnam and Thailand maybe they’re made there you’d be wrong on every single one of those because you know where they’re made America they’re made in Maine yeah so you meant one order one but do they source like the material every link it’s from May it’s from America Pete’s crazy teeth he doesn’t play around especially woven he’s woven and he weaves his own material for gigs to make these with yeah that’s straight up Maine that’s trigger this this made merry the cotton comes from Old South Carolina or something it shipped up to Maine looms you know what don’t even know the Loom is yeah Fruit of the Loom so it’s like here and here’s how I put it together ultimately so loom it makes a you know we’ve stuff right yeah a little it’s a basically a big weaving machine I mean this one’s other than that of course so now remember the brand Fruit of the Loom yeah oh I like that fruit of the Loom well Ava origin actually has their own looms once again here in Maine yeah in your hometown layers bro they layer and of layers anyway check those out yeah and you’ll you’ll be from to say you’ll be fired up I’m gonna go ahead and say you will be inspired and it’s funny too because the the rash guard designed the American the fourth of July rash guard design it’s you know things can get so over the top that they actually become cool yeah yeah they have to where is that yeah that’s where it’s that like me I’m all about the subtle designs right yeah Oh what should we do I make a black yeah and then don’t put much on it that’s me he took the other direction I’m gonna have him giant to snake I’m gonna have George Washington with a black belt on and in origin key I’m gonna have goodness you know that’s what I’m talking about yeah merica it’s kind of like on kauai when you go to the north shore and you can go north north north or you can go Wes Wes Wes and you go too far cause quite like a circle before you know it you’re essentially at the same place well yeah but yeah oh my god yeah I first I wasn’t following you yes you do get to the same place yes so you and he went too crazy he went too great but he went so far in the world in the realm of crazy that it became dope you know because you have like we we consider dope is like the perfect mix crazy and understated in a current contemporary or rebellion against yeah but he went in that one direction that you don’t really go for you know mass acceptance and then he took put took it too far and now it’s right into right where it needs to be open there we go dope nesco psychological warfare hey here’s a question tough question psychological warfare is this false motivation wait wait let me explain what it is because so psychological warfare is an album with tracks of Jocko saying basically you know in moments of weakness on your journey whatever waking up early sticking to the diet you know trying to get stuff done you know anti procrastination stuff you can play these tracks and chocolate will tell you how to get over that weakness for that moment so the question is is that false motivation because you did mention that you can use the false motivation yeah well maybe you are at that point right it is possible you just can’t depend on it you can’t be like hey this this is my dough yeah that’s a good point it’s going to get you there but yeah if you’re not disciplined yourself those tracks are going to do anything for you right yes exactly so what might they are pretty good at every powerful that it was like oh and I know we got to make psychological warfare too I’ve got to continue to gather a couple more tracks that I’ve been thinking about and what people been asking for so that they can you know have a little little spot if they need it spot cycle you’re on yeah so just you know what I was thinking of naming spike psychological warfare – what psychological warfare – advancement but yeah that is what it is it’s a spot so just like false motivation that can be just like a spot like you can’t roll into the gym with your workout partner and be like hey I’m going to get under this bench four or five on there I want you to do the whole thing I want you to upright row yeah oh yeah you don’t that’s not what a spot for us not what any of these things for it’s I’m gonna do this in the unlikely event that I run into something that might cause me to fail you got me that rest of the way that’s it so it’s psychological warfare is – by the way but in my experience and opinion you can lean on that pretty heavily it’ll get you to my opinion also jakka white tea on Amazon you can get that there and I guess I got asked on Twitter if I ever used any performance-enhancing drugs no and I said no but honestly let’s just go ahead and face it um white tea is kind of the king of performance enhancement as far as I’ve seen so obviously it’s the only substance on the market that is guaranteed to add seven thousand five hundred and fifty four pounds to your deadlift so is that performance enhancing probably luckily it’s not being tested for right now by the US DSA SP you saw yeah them city suits alright now you can get it yeah get it you can just get that massive increase in everything that you do that’s cool also way the warrior kid and then so many people have been posting pictures of kids doing pull-ups and kids pulling tires and kids studying flashcards and kids making their own warrior kid codes and memorizing the presidents and it’s honestly it’s awesome to see kids in their first you get to class it’s so good to see so thanks everyone that has posted that and and shown what’s going on and spreading the word thank you for doing that and if you really actually want to support this podcast don’t worry about the podcast don’t support the podcast don’t worry about it go buy this book for some kids that you know because the feedback is just it’s awesome it’s awesome to see and I can see that is absolutely impacting kids and I just couldn’t be happier about that and if you want to help don’t worry about me don’t worry about Echo Charles gets get this book for some kids it’s the book we should have had when we were kids okay get kids on the right path I guess if you really want to store you could you could get it through Amazon right yeah you’d be good you double gravitational double gun also discipline equals freedom Field Manual so many questions that I get asked are answered in the book beyond what I do workouts food sleep plus it also contains the core of my belief system what keeps me going how I overcome setbacks everything it’s all in there and I think it’s not a normal book this is not normal this is not a normal book in any stretch my publisher says he’s never seen the book anything close to this it’s outside the box of anything I’ve never seen anything like it so we’re going out on a little limb here yeah it’s sort of like the podcast because there’s not too many pocket there’s no podcast it’s doing what we’re doing is there sure I don’t know well I’m going out today no I haven’t heard one yeah meaning so it’s sort of like that yeah we’re entering the same zone in my opinion there’s words there there’s pages there yes like normal books there’s patterns there there’s layers there and it comes out October 17th so ordered up you can get that first batch you work the one that says first edition right sure the one you want on the inside cover well it says first printing that’s the one we’ll get it and also you know you know your friend that’s off the path you know yes your friend is oh you grew up with this friend off the path get one for them it’s not normal not a normal book the one that needs discipline get in this book also of course the cream ownership combat leadership lessons from the battlefield to use in your business and your life wherever you’re leaving whoever you’re leading extreme ownership you can pick that one up also echelon front leadership and management consulting me Lafe babban JP Danelle Dave Burke you want to get your leadership team unified email info at Ashkelon front comm will come and make it happen and finally the muster the first muster that we did in San Diego sold out the one we did in New York sold out but when we’re doing in Austin sold out so if you want to come to those and you didn’t make it sorry you know but we are back in San Diego September 14th and 15th back at the Omni Hotel down town muster 0:04 new material by the way new material the same attitude same passion we’re going to bring it we’re gonna burn it down we will see you there and until we do see you there we’ll see you on the interwebs on Twitter Instagram and – Facebook Eboli EKKO is a deco Charles and I am at Jocko willing can thanks once again for listening to those in uniform especially those overseas thank you for being strong and brave and standing up for what you and we believe in and also thanks to police law enforcement firefighters paramedics and other first responders thanks for keeping us safe here at home and to everyone else out there like first intended Leonard Isaac’s asked see how you can help people ask how you can help them and clean up what’s around you and never run away from something you’re afraid of and as dr or a Cova told us whether you’re at an operating table or a lathe or a sewing machine or on a construction site or your child’s cradle or wherever you’re working do you work skillfully honestly and happily and with your whole being do your best in everything you do and as they both taught us remember our time here is short so get out there and live and until next time this is echo and Jocko help