when I realized that losing your temper was a sign of weakness as soon as I resist as I made that connection I said to myself this is weak I’m going to try not to do it anymore and what’s weird is when you’re a kid I don’t know if you remember this but I was a kid and you D someone get angry and it made you afraid and so for a while I saw it as like a power you know it’s kind of a way to achieve power that you can lose your temper and then all of a sudden you have this extra strength and so when you’re a little kid and when I say a little kid I mean when I was 13 14 years old I thought hey if I go if I could get that rage going and people are scared like I used to feel that’s a positive thing and then like I said as I got older now you you know now you’re talking 16 15 16 17 I realized hey this isn’t this isn’t cool this isn’t strength it’s actually weakness and when I realized it was weakness and I didn’t realize that overnight but I started getting the idea that that was weakness and now when you see someone that is in control and even when bad things are happening to look you know they’re standing stoic we said okay let me take another look at that and I’ll get it done you mean they’re just okay then you realize okay this guy’s really unflappable which is a lot more impressive so again you got to be able to detach from this and you know I like to take pride in the fact that I’m going to keep my cool no matter what happens and definitely once I was in that once you’re in the SEAL Teams you definitely want to be that guy that’s keeping you’re keeping a cool no matter what’s happening whether it’s people are doing the wrong thing or you just want to be the guy that’s hey okay come back over here we need to redo this you just want to be that guy that’s way more impressive than the guy that says ok probably British don’t be that person so and I’ve talked about this before one of the pre-event indicators that show you or reveal to you that your temper is about to be lost what are they is it you point your fist just right is it you raise your voice and you start doing doing that stuff just drop the heavy breathing do you flip it you flare your nostrils right because that’s an animal thing where you’re going to take in more oxygen so you open up the nostrils you’re about to get after it do you you know use your gives your your head you know shaking or what everything’s just like these things what is it what indicators do you have when you know that you’re starting to feel that and as soon as you feel that you detach you go oh that’s what that is that’s an indicator and it’s a weakness mm-hmm and I don’t like weakness so I’m not going to allow it and then you take a breath I like to say it you know what here’s a good one you want it you want to get through that that moment nod your head slowly in the affirmative right so so when someone’s telling me something that’s making me mad I’ll just slowly nod my head like I understand this is the way things are I accept this and this is I’m calculating what my next move is efficiently uh if anything or whatever you know guys will come to ten you know you tell your little kids that tell your little kids when they start losing their temper you know you need to count to ten down to ten count to one hundred counter thousand or whatever it is you got to do and get control because like I said if you’re losing control it’s not strength to eat this
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