Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHQzoHolWvI
the jurogan experience yeah that's what i realized that something was going on i didn't know what it was a lot of it was anger man i angry at what i don't know nothing no specific reason i tried i mean i tried like um i've just done a ton of yoga i did oh yeah yeah isn't that amazing for like relieving anger oh you're so peaceful after you get out of there yoga meditation i try the ketamine um oh you do the nasal spray no i did the shoot em up oh did you really did you do the iv yeah you went to a doctor six sessions yeah with a therapist in the room did you trip balls bro dude there was a moment no joke where i thought it was a tonsil there was a time where i thought it was a tonsil a tonsil maybe you are you oh yeah totally that wouldn't be maybe we're all cells in a tonsil because you know how like an atom if you think of an atom most of it is like empty space right yeah just like a solar system right maybe that's like the whole universe is like an atom oh i wouldn't be shocked by it and you really are an atom and a tonsil but that the reveal on that wouldn't be i need something dark i need something more than that so when you thought you were tonsil tell me what what the experience was like okay so they put you in the thing you're sitting there in the chair and then suddenly like um you have your eyes closed and you're talking with a therapist the whole time during this place is he talking too much no does he like me [Laughter] no i don't think he i'm glad you talk because i don't it's hard for me the most i've ever talked in my life is a couple times with you [Laughter] back to kid i mean yeah okay so i'm sitting there in the chair and the man named john the serp the sherpa icon you're unable to sharpen it it's a little sharp i thought it was like a counselor or something i mean he had a whistle around his neck so that's the only one a little bit dicey
but but it was sanctioned it's in a beautiful facility it's a nice facility so you go in they put it in you i'm sitting in the chair is that a whistle uh i think it would like it might have been a safety piece he had from being a child or something about he could have been i don't know lifeguard i have no idea what his past was like but he was a nice guy but he's a therapist so i'm sitting there and i start dreaming you know like a regular dream you know i start dreaming a little bit i'm still talking to him and then i start talking about being a kid you know i love thinking about being a kid and stuff and so i started talking about being a child and then i started talking about my dad and now like the darkness is starting to have like kind of shapes in it and things are starting to feel that i'm talking about are starting to feel real like this feels real i'm sitting in here with you and there's this table here and this so i can feel this feels real jamie's right there so things like that i'm talking about start to feel it has a feeling not just a vision so i started to feel i was talking about my dad and next thing you know i'm spending time with my dad like i'm with my dad whoa and i had you know and i ain't gotten to spend time with my dad in 20 years so like um and i remember i got to let my dad know that i loved him i didn't know if he ever knew you know and it was this crazy thing dude i'm sitting there and i'm bawling crying and like i didn't plan on that when i went in there but it felt like i was really with my like it felt as real as sitting here with you which for for somebody being deceased and going it was so powerful i would think that that would be a hard thing to share with someone you don't know i guess maybe that's where the ketamine really comes in and i didn't uh
it didn't bother you that you didn't know and i'm okay with [ __ ] i shared a lot of emote i share a lot of like yeah i share a lot of emotional stuff so i think i'm probably more prone to it maybe than some people but i would just imagine that like if you don't know this man and you're sitting down it's like an intensely personal part of your life when he became the therapist became just somebody i would check in i would say john is everything okay am i okay because i started to feel then i started to slide down the edge of the universe for a minute what's that like it was it was it was hard it was hard because you don't have any ropes or anything i mean you're out there just you're like you know hope solar your solo hope or whatever that guy who's who climbed that guy you had him on free solo alex yeah you're like that dude but there's no but there's no mountain no ropes no mount but you have i do you do have a bag of chalk on your belt i didn't notice that but i felt like a cryptocurrency i felt myself like going through these channels um and then i came back to another moment i got to spend time with oh i got to see my mom when she was a kid which i thought was kind of interesting wow and just see that she was like a happy child or something you know or just i don't know so there was moments like that for me that were extremely intense and real um and otherwise there was a lot of moments where i was just out of my i was out of the chair i remember at some points thinking how am i ever going to get back into that chair they'll never get me back in there i was just so far out in my head how long did it last it felt like it lasted for about maybe maybe 13 minutes but it was an hour neil brennan told me about it first he was the first guy to tell me about it i'll never forget we're in the hallway of the comedy store you know neil's an intense guy yeah he looks at me and he
goes uh he's like i was tripping he goes i didn't know what it was going to be because i was [ __ ] tripping and it was uh for him it was to deal with depression yeah he said it was very effective wow it helped him a lot i i i i took away from it if you had like a some severe tragedy or something like that then it would really help for me it didn't feel like a long-term solution it didn't help me with my anger really so where do you think your anger's coming from i don't know man i don't recognize you as an angry guy like you and i have only had laughs like when you and i have been hanging out it's always been just like this fun yeah i think i think some of it's maybe responsibility um responsibility makes you angry yeah i think sometimes i think maybe i think i thought that whenever my life got a like whenever i got more success in my job or something that i would feel some satisfaction something like you feel like you made it i thought i would feel like yes it's different right and i feel appreciative i feel happy and i'm not saying i'm amazing in my job but i'm once i started to have some success in my job that i would feel different i see what you're saying and i just didn't i don't know you're still the same everything's still kind of this you still have all the same things you know do you ever have imposter syndrome i've heard about it you don't have that i don't know if i do the the idea is that you can't believe that you're successful and you feel like eventually the world's gonna wake up and go why the [ __ ] am i paying attention to this guy he's out here talking crazy [ __ ] about his cousin getting bit by a gay guy well it happened on halloween you know that's my favorite joke you do well it happened in los angeles dude still kills me if i could have been in los angeles the guy was dressed up like a baby deer and my cousin loved to deer hunt that was the crazy part so the dude comes out and he you know his first instinct is to feed him or
whatever you know sprinkle that piss out there whatever and the [ __ ] dude bit him man that's you know that's newsom a guy biting you is it newsome's fault i don't know what that might be his fault i'm willing to go with you and blame newsome watch the entire episode for free only on spotify