Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3POk1WaIuEM
yeeha all right we're live dude that's it we're going boom it's moving just like that just like that man this amazing this amazing to have you on man I like your show you know it's one of the few shows where you take over like it's a real problem whenever you got a show that's iconic and Top Gear is Iconic as [ __ ] oh sure I mean it's the iconic car show and then they did an Australia version they've done other how many versions are there now Australia was first there was a German one really German one yeah they did something with them once and then that kind of killed them there was there's us we're still a thing there was a Top Gear Korea for like 5 minutes which may or may not be going on they're the ones that dropped that Apache helicopter uh in the desert everybody was fine it was the same yeah they there was a new there was like a ZL1 Camaro chasing getting chased by an Apache helicopter which is something we did in our first season and the same helicopter pilot and co-pilot got too close to the the blades got too close and caught it and it dropped them oh they walked away the helicopter was toast but then when you hear it you start there's certain things that happen you start to look back at your life and go like does that mean I could have also almost died when we did that like 20 minutes from my house season one totally definitely so luckily that didn't happen Apache helicopters are [ __ ] expensive as [ __ ] the government had all these helicopters laying around that they couldn't do anything with and the guy that that flew it with us was a guy named skip lamb and he and a bunch of other Pilots like hey we could do stuff with TV with movies whatever so they started this little group and the government gave them a bunch of these Surplus helicopters that they weren't doing anything with so they exist and they can do different films and movies and it's cool for these guys because they get to use the skills that they had and and get to do something cool with them but again it's a real helicopter like it's a bad [ __ ] helicopter that has to be worth millions it to be it has when I mean what is one of those worth Jamie find out what one of those [ __ ] are worth we had uh not those but we had a bunch of helicopters that we used on
Fear Factor and a lot of times they were really close to each other like they' have to fly staggered where the blades of one were just above the blades of the other and they're connected both of them connected by ropes to something that they were picking up like a bus or some [ __ ] one [ __ ] stupid thing $52 million Jesus [ __ ] Christ wow oh my God I don't feel like there's any of those on Amazon is what my gut tells me there might be eBay for sure 63% more expensive than the average for its class were you ever close enough when they were doing that and you can feel like the wash from them like I don't I assume you've been in a helicopter it one of my least favorite things in life I've only been on honestly I never flew in a helicopter the entire time we did Fear Factor we we we shot for six [ __ ] years helicopters every other week I never got on one good for you because I couldn't it was part like you I would have to be in to get into the helicopter but uh I've been on him on vacation I've done that um the big island in Hawaii go over the volcano have you ever done that I've not I've been there once it was lovely dude it's it's it like literally take like I it takes my breath away just thinking about it because it's the Earth bleeding out into the surface pouring into the water and creating the island you watch the island be created like it's every day it's like a couple more inches gets added to the big island and you you could actually literally watch it happen and that's that that's that like next level stuff meanwhile the whole time I'm in there I'm thinking like this [ __ ] is going to go down any second that's true when it takes off or when it lands is the worst part for me cuz you can feel when you feel that wind push up against a blade and it's like are we going to go are we thinking about it that's that's for me the pants crapping factor that makes it not fun well it's also I've owned a lot of [ __ ] boxes and I'm sure you have too so you're aware of things breaking like you're on the high uh oh what's that noise but if a wheel falls off you and I can pull over exactly if a rotor drops off we make the news it's not my favorite yeah I think there's a way they can kind of like Bill Burr just started flying helicopters he has this [ __ ] hilarious bit about it
on his uh last Netflix special about flying helicopters but he said that they're not nearly as bad to crash as people think they are there's a way you learn learn how to bring them down that's what he says yeah I'll pass on that man I will and I for you I would probably if he ever invites you up then I just tell him no I'll just meet you there man I'll go I'll just drive I'll go for the story when I was in high school buddy M was taking flight lessons and I was in high school I had a buddy of mine and his his parents were he was a wild guy his family was uh his dad was a poacher his dad would like uh shoot deer illegally there's a lot of weird [ __ ] in their family and they they were teaching him at a very young age how to fly planes I don't know what the [ __ ] they were going to do with the plane but he came from a very sketchy family but uh we were like [ __ ] 15 and we're in a plane I'm like dude you're 15 well you shouldn't be flying [ __ ] but we were flying in a little single engine plane one of those little one of my best friends flies for Delta and I I tell him you know we you travel a lot you get it but like if I hear his name broadcast over the PA I'm probably going to get off the plane because I've been drunk with him enough times that it's just I'm I dig that he's in charge of so many people's lives I just don't know for there did you see the picture of the plane that ran into a bird a commercial jet plane slammed into a bird and it caved in the entire front of the plane no you didn't say that's awesome though Jamie pull that up I mean assuming everyone's okay everyone lived because it hit it perfect but if it hit the wing I mean you look at what it did to the front of the plane like if it hit just hit you know 6 feet to the left 6 feet to the the right whatever you look like people might have died or if it landed through the windshield it might have killed the pilot I mean you got to if you're hitting like a Canadian goose like one of those big [ __ ] giant geese then you're trying to land in the Hudson yeah different exactly like that story yeah those so there's this place in Georgia near me where we shot the same place with the helicopter and they are the people that go and recover airplanes look at that there there's the impact holy cow right just boom soft
spot right in so when the plane went down the Hudson these redneck dudes from Griffin Georgia were sent up there to get the plane it's floating in the water right insurance companies pay them to go and recover these planes and they have to basically cut him up get him on a on a train or a flatb or whatever and so for Christmas one of our executive producers for Top Gear he was like showing me oh here's some stuff I got from Ronnie and my buddies back in Georgia and it was a tiny bottle of Jack Daniels it looked like it had mold growing on the outside and it was one of the bottles that was in the plane that went down on the Hudson and these guys recovered it and that was his like Christmas Keepsake to his friends that's funny wow that's probably worth money put that on eBay I mean they had they had there's like there's this cool old like 50s looking plane I was like oh that looks neat what like uh they landed that and the guy was like oh no that plane hit the water in Panama City that guy died o just it's the most it's you couldn't have a more trit like business unless maybe you're an Undertaker I don't I don't know maybe a funeral service director I'm not sure but you have to basically go pick up crap after Bill Burr and his friends learn how to roll a helicopter that's going down safely didn't Patrick sees crash drunk wasn't that something that happened I believe Patrick sesy before he died was boozing it up and flying around with his cancer he like not so happy with life just going for it just getting hammered and flying around I mean he had cancer for quite a while and uh was flying planes and I think crashed one of them I'm pretty sure he crashed one of them and walked away that dude's hardcore and was it uh Harrison Ford that just landed one on a on a golf course yeah he crash landed somewhere Harrison for he apparently he got pretty banged up like that was that was a real crash SE suspected of drunk flying was in 200 excuse me yeah three men are facing misdemeanor charges in connection with Patrick se's emergency landing earlier this month the men are accused of failing to tell authorities about how they allegedly helped the actor remove alcoholic beverages from his crash plane he was doing it man he's [ __ ]
dirty dancing guy come on he's Roadhouse let him you know it's weird that like Patrick sey would wear stuff in those movies that like if our friends wore we'd kind of make fun of but when Patrick sey wears you're like that guy can dance only CU you didn't know him if you got to know him after a while you'd start mocking him if you were hanging around with him if you you met Patrick S and he was like dancing you'd be like hey that's pretty cool and then like 5 minutes later'd be like uh do you do sports or just [ __ ] dance around play golf or like what what is uh do you have friends kind of friends you hanging around with like on a Tuesday you just Dan you know Mel barishnikov or some [ __ ] like there there's Roadhouse Roadhouse God what a movie what was my man playing the guitar um the blind guy oh yeah that guy he was really good he was really good whatever happened to that dude killed I think he yeah died I think he was in a car wreck he wasn't driving I'm sure as you know that's not a joke against one people I asked the same question that guy was a really good musici he was great that's right he was in it I forgot I was in it and then Sam Jeff he Jeff Healey thank how did he die find it for us this is the I can I get somebody like that that just goes with me plac right but it's so much more fun with someone else like you can continue your thought that's the benefit when you have a when you have a podcast died of cancer underw surgery to remove metastic tissue from both lungs oh wow and that's what in Alabama that's what we call a car wreck so my bad I got I categorized that wrong well we were talking before the the podcast and we were we were talking about muscle cars and we were talking about Mustangs and and Mustang people being weird like that you're not the only one who's ever said that to me I haven't experienced this except in high school when I was in high school my um autoshop teacher was a Mustang fanatic okay the guy was nuts and he had all these old shitty Mustangs that he had like put back together again and they were all like [ __ ] he had have students do the Bondo on them they're all you know look at him sideways it was like looking at a [ __ ] ski slope right they were just completely [ __ ] up but he was weird
and he just he didn't like any other cars he's like I like Mustangs just hardore just all he wanted and he didn't even like he didn't even like the cool ones he had like like you know shitty hub caps and like he never he never like did them up nice and where they looked like like something I would want and I loved muscle cars but in his mind they were they were the jam right yeah it was a Mustang or nothing that's that was his thing and to quantify it a tiny bit you told me that you you were kind of thinking about building a car and it's maybe a chevel or maybe a Mustang I I think there's lots of if you look at the car world man there's there's so many different pockets of people and the stuff that they like and I I was never a big mustang guy I I dig them I get why people love them but like let's pick the fox body right that's the the 79 to 93 uh and they made a few changes in there like they had t- Toops and a few of them those were death those cars were death they're just [ __ ] they're in Vanilla Ice's number one song with a rag top down some ha blow and I I dig that but that's what that car was like to me it's a very great representation of sort of like a redneck mullet late 80s early 90s kind of style well I I on my show loss in transmission we had to take one I found it in my buddy's junkyard I needed an engine and transmission try to make this AMC Eagle cool right I couldn't keep the car all-wheel drive it was like a jacked up ugly 4×4 I couldn't keep it all-wheel drive and have any amount of power so I said all right let's make it rear wheel drive let's make it something cool so I had to basically sacrifice this fox body and dude people came out of the woodwork I don't know how active you are on so I know you are but like sometimes when people try to get mad at you on Facebook it's so much funnier to read and you're like this guy was so pissed he forgot that English is a language because it's just a hail of words and and like he tried to call this one fox body rare and I made fun of him and then other people saw it not like in a mean way I just poke back but like there's no Fox body that's rare well let's pull those pictures back up again and let's all agree that these should all be put in a pile and nuked right these are awful
disgusting cars the worst representation of American muscle cars that have ever been built look at that girl in the hood even she's non- enthusiastic she's like this I hate my boyfriend Chaz I hate Chaz he's an [ __ ] he makes me get on top of his shitty [ __ ] car car and you know that's not that's like an LX 5.0 might might have been a four-cylinder I don't know oh look at the girl with the pink one oh yeah oh yeah you totally want to buy her some Boon Farm look at you girl I like how they redid the back lights they got crafty with the [ __ ] C lights yeah the Euro tail the alteza style there I mean it was supposed to be a muscle car and it had four lug Wheels it was a disgusting car my friend my buddy Kevin Chason had one when we were kids he had a 5.0 I'm not saying you can't make them cool oh yeah I mean they're kind of cool they're kind of cool that's cool but they're not cool compared to the 60s Mustangs and they're not cool compared to the new ones the new ones are [ __ ] bad ass they're dope right and and really they got they got better than what was the next one the sn95 would it not to be a total dork I know I know codes and stuff I shouldn't but they got cooler right they did they got they got they were kind of decent and then in the 2000s like I had a 2010 Shelby GT500 bad that's a badass car it was a vicious car but it was you know live rear axle the handling properties weren't the best but it wasn't about that that car was about it could go sideways anytime you wanted it to it was like no anybody around no hit it I would just go sideways around corners I mean it was so easy right just anytime you wanted to you just give it a little juice and it would just kick out the back for you and there's only there's really only a handful of cars that you feel like when you see someone on the road and you know sometimes people it's not that they're messing with you they're just not bright enough to know how to be a good driver that's one of those cars you would always see a dude in a Mustang just be like I've had enough of your crap I'm out I'm going to drop the hammer and I go so like I always like that about him but there there just certain cards that people that love them are sometimes just they
turn me off of the car like I always wanted E46 M3 BMW right that to me it's just such a great car out of the box but then when I would meet a lot of the people that would own them I would decide I don't think I really want to own one I don't know I've heard that about Porsches too right people have always said that about Porsches Magnus Walker is changing that for me yes he is right how could that guy how could you not love Magnus first off he's just a badass dude that just likes what he likes well he's also so enthusiastic about it that it's contagious he loves those like 60 to 73 and now he's he's into some turbos now some older turbo models sure oh he loves those 930s man he's got a bunch of those and I think your buddies at shark Works took him a newer one like a 14 that he got to go beat around on and then sudden he was like maybe the new ones aren't so bad well he knows now well he had never experienced anything like the GT2 so what Alex did Alex my buddy from Shark Works took a GT2 from I want to say it's 2010 maybe somewhere around there yeah and um he made it 800 horsepower and it is the [ __ ] scariest car I've ever driven in my life I mean it's [ __ ] terrifying like my GT3 has 518 horsepower that has almost 300 more horsepower somewhere in the eights it's mind bogglingly fast it's a [ __ ] time machine and he let Magnus drive it and he said Do With It Whatever you would do if it was your own car so Magnus had it [ __ ] painted right yeah but that's how cool Alex is and that's how cool Magnus is they just they're both Fanatics so they they just have this understanding with each other so this is what he did to it you can see it there he painted I think it's ugly as [ __ ] disgusting disgusting I love the gold wheels on there first off the gold wheels not aren't bad but the orange and the bumpers like why has that very like German DTM kind of look to it dog [ __ ] looks like dog [ __ ] it's a great car it's such it's such a beautiful design though it doesn't need [ __ ] gray stripes in the hood and orange bumper but whatever it's not my car but the the bottom line is driving it though what a goddamn experience yeah oh it's terrifying we took it up um Angel's Crest oh yeah that area and you can't drive it up it's too fast it every
corner comes too quick right cuz you just and and that's one of those cars that is when the power comes on is doesn't matter how they've tuned it your foot is not a machine your foot is like hey let's do this so all of a sudden you think I maybe I'll shoot off this hill or is this in the one because you can't it's hard to drive that car in control no matter who you are well I never really thought I I never been in a car that had too much power before where I drove it right I've always been like whoa this is fast like the Shelby G GT500 was like 550 horsepower pretty light car I'm like God damn this thing is fast ridiculously fast the GT3 super fast but that is in a different category it's it's so it's mindboggling how much power it has and when it kicks in it just pins you to the chair and it h your heart starts you're like I'm gonna die this could this could this is this is physics you're like I get it James Dean I get you man a feel it brother feel it on a highway apparently is even scarier they were saying on the highway you just don't feel compelled to let off the gas and so you look down you're going 170 m hour on the 405 and you're like what the [ __ ] am I doing last season Top Gear we went to we went to Germany we drove on the nurburg ring have you ever been there no what is that like nerur ring is like being inside of of a video game well to for folks who aren't card Geeks the nurur ring is the track that everyone talks about when you talk about lap times like if you you have a car that can do 7 minutes and 30 seconds or below on the nurur green you've got a [ __ ] of a car that's a [ __ ] what is the the record is just under 7even minutes right now so it it's for the 12 minute course right it's 14 if you run the whole thing but the 12-minute course is is like just under seven for some unbelievably fast thing when when we went there they Tanner's got a friend over there right and Tanner F Tanner F who's the you Adam Ferrara and Tanner yes are the host of Top Gear USA said say hi by the way gosh he loves you you guys it's it's like I love that comedy it's like one gigantic uh fraternity and sorority that Everyone likes everyone unless you're that one a hole there's a few of them we could go into that off the air we know about four
guys that need to be killed right exactly take them climb into the body of those shitty old Mustangs and nuke them from orbit just push them in there but Tanner Tanner's got a friend who who is friends with the owner the the people that just bought it so they Clos the nurur gring for us oh God for three hours we had the track all to ourselves wow dude that's the most insane thing I've ever done in my life and I was in a 2014 Carrera S 4S so it's a non-turbo all-wheel drive and it's a little over 300 horsepower right it's about four I think is it maybe yeah yeah you're right it's about 400 horsepower you could kill yourself on that track in a Yugo maybe on a bicycle on a on a good downhill every turn is a blind turn every Hill is a blind Hill I hit one 82 on the backstretch and then like on the way there we were we were trying to hit the rev limiter on the autobond because people know how to drive on the interstate there it's the most amazing thing they get in the right hand lane and they stay there until they need use the left and then they just California unless unlike anywhere California is the worst everywhere I've lived California is the worst when it comes to getting out of that left lane nobody respects it they they literally slow down I'm going fast yeah I'm just going to patrol this on my own California I've always lived in California I don't know anything about smaller roads cuz they kind of designed the roads out here for a bunch of cars right there's no like when I first came here one of the first things that I did I drove down to there's a place called Hard Times billiards in belflower California it's like a legendary pool hall and I drove down there and I you have to take the 405 to get down there I was like look at this [ __ ] road it's like seven Lanes on each side I'm like this is insane in Massachusetts where I grew up there's nothing like that they didn't exist they were like horse and buggy roads that someone had convert put hard pavement over it you know Pooles everywhere the roads out here it's the this is like the best car culture in the world and the worst driving conditions for car people certainly for traffic it's un dude I don't 3:00 a.m. you guys can have traffic in the middle of nowhere dead bumper to bumper for no real reason the
real reason is people [ __ ] and they make babies and then they they move out here cuz they want to be famous yeah let's come out here I mean don't get wrong if you go north if you go south I mean there are some great roads to drive here but you it'll take you 6 hours to go 5 miles to find them right I'm I'm so nervous going anywhere here I was 5 minutes away and just crapped my pants about if I could get here on time or not uh yeah it's it's a nerve-wracking place if you want to be punctual that's sure but that dude the the a let's let's go to the nurur ring what was your time did you how fast did you get around it I did whatever I think I was under 10 minutes for my first lap that's pretty goddamn good and they said that's first time seeing the track that's great you should feel really good about that did you lose it at any point in time or did you get close did you edge I the carousel is the coolest feeling I've ever had because you dip in and it's there's graffiti everywhere right cuz they have these huge parties out there around the races and so you're seeing all this stuff and the car just dips in and you're hauling ass as hard as you can and then it just shoots you right out the other side and you keep going and you're like I just did it so the carousel is like a side like you're almost going sideways like a bank yes it's it's a steep bank that just kind of Pops in out of nowhere and you just get in and you kind of just ride it there it is right there oh it's so it dude it's so aome so crazy and the whole time I kept thinking what am I doing here like how did this happen how did this goofball kid from Atlanta end up on the show and they handed me a car and the keys to the nurburging to a German Porsche modern German Porsche it was it was insane and they do the coolest part about that road and in that track on days when there aren't races it's a toll road so you can pay $30 and go take a lap really so there are guys like you and I who are there who either showed up with a 9911 rented one Whatever right so they're going out having fun you still have to use your blinker and you can only pass on the left which is hilarious to me but there's also like grandmothers and Families and tourists on the track at the same time wow so you're just going to do it but people are really going and
so we're standing there we had just wrapped up and I was like let's if we got five minutes I just want to watch some cars you see this Mini Cooper come hauling ass around right and this dude's just carving and there's a guy in a F430 Ferrari who's like I can keep up with this son of a [ __ ] and he punted that F430 into the wall oh one side and then drug it down past us now because it's a toll road they have to do an accident investigation the Mini's gone the Mini Cooper's checked out it's not he didn't have anything to do with it right but I think he still felt bad so everybody that was on the track at that point has to exit and this team shows up and they do like an accident investigation because that guy's insurance would still be good on the track at that moment because it was a toll road that's hilarious so how fast can you go I hit 183 and there's no spe limit no you could just go and I I was not the fastest car we had what kind of [ __ ] insurance do they have that let go it's cuz you've heard of friends that like oh I took this new car to the track and then I had paid a tow truck guy to drop it on the side of the 405 so I can call the insurance company tell them I don't know what happened right I was sitting here right so I I guess it just works out better but you can rent a race car there either like a pujo or they have all these like little kind of import smaller race cars you can rent it says like rent a race car on the windshield and just go for it well if you get a Nissan GTR they have a they have a speed limiter on it until you get to race courses and the GPS recognizes that you're at a race course that's awesome and it lets you just go [ __ ] crazy have you have you driven one such a great car for the money I rented one did you yes I rented one in Austin Texas if you go to um uh is it Herz I think it's Herz Herz has some pretty ridiculous cars you can run and if you want to if you want to pay they'll let you run a GTR I was like woohoo so the whole weekend I was like I was riding a ride everywhere dude what I and it's I mean for for the Supercar world it's such a bargain that car I mean it's they're getting more expensive now they're somewhere around 100 Grand now they were like 70 something 89 I think was when they first came out yeah and it
was like fully load and now they keep adding a little bit a little bit more they're a little bit over 100 now but the way they handle is like it defies physics it doesn't feel like like the GT3 handles amazing but it makes sense that car does not make sense because there's all sorts of electronics going on it's four-wheel drive it's it's very heavy it's probably like eight or 900 lb heavier than my GT3 it's like 3,900 lb or something like that I think I think it's a fairly heavy car and that's like part of their strategy in some sort of strange way but it [ __ ] works that is an ungodly fast ride and it's just hop in and go it's a car tanner doesn't like it because it takes so much he feels like away from a driver at that skill level right but you and I are in fact not Tanner F so I don't feel like I I feel that same way well one of my favorite episodes of your show was when he was racing with a motorcycle around all these industrial boxes crates Z6 yes down in Long Beach dude that was nuts when you can watch someone drift an entire Clover Leaf onramp yeah and I think the City of Long Beach tried to get mad at us afterwards because they saw all the strip that we had done and you're like no no you gave us permission sorry they were mad because there's rubber on the road come on that looks cool that's what I said [ __ ] I don't know what their deal is nobody died yeah [ __ ] and it was a drift they called it a drift bike right and he only had like 3° of of slip on it still badass it is right here for the record well you just see how good a driver Tanner is in this video with especially with those shitty dog [ __ ] seats God the seats in those [ __ ] Corvettes who the [ __ ] allowed that that was such a glaring error on their part to make this incredible car I mean a ridiculously fast car and then give it these dog [ __ ] seats terrible I I had a Z6 for about 5 minutes did you it was awesome it was not again I'm not a Corvette guy like you wouldn't you wouldn't see me get out of a car and think that guy's got a vet cuz I don't have like a gold chain I'm not wearing jean shorts not wearing a jean shorts right or jss Jorts if you will they're very popular in Florida they do they do and and I it was Atomic orange I got it from my friend Kevin and in Chicago gave me a killer deal on it
and it was one of those cars that once you drove once you got in that Z6 it was a ' 07 Atomic orange everything about Corvettes change cuz that car I mean it's the same as that car it's just such it's a mean ass car so fast so fast so fun and really well balanced too those cars are shockingly well balanced it just because it's plastic and American and the sheets are the and the um seats are dog [ __ ] you you just you think like this is a [ __ ] terrible car but it's not if you if they just if someone if you took it somewhere and just had some really good bucket seats installed the ride experience and then the steering wheels dog [ __ ] too they the Cavalier steer feels yeah that was always my beef you could get the same radio in the Corvette that you could in the S10 that's just not how that's supposed to work no but they did fix that yeah I mean the C7 is like the C6 Z6 and the g R had an illegitimate child and that's what they that's what they spit out they even made it better than anybody anticipated like the new ZO6 is a [ __ ] of a car I mean it is a really incredible incredible car and that's just them listening you know which you got to appreciate yeah they listened and they even engineered it like way better than the other ones I mean the new Corvette the C7 Corvette is a marvelous car it's a Marvel of engineering it really is I mean it doesn't there's not a car under half a million dollars it even compares to it you know when they get that Z06 yeah and they finally let's do it yeah they finally figured it out the seats are perfect like everything's great in it Tanner's good he could drive his half off he just man every time we would go and do stuff and people would say like why are you letting Tanner beat you I just smile like what the [ __ ] you talking about I don't know if you noticed I was trying my ass off I'm actually not trying to let him beat me I think people don't truly understand the amount of skill and knowledge that's involved in driving a car like that oh yeah or when he took that um the GT2 around downtown LA at night how nutty was that they closed down some sections of downtown LA and he had a really recent model GT2 which is just a stupendously fast car and he was driving it during the day but it was too hot
because it's turbocharged and it just didn't really have heat so was getting crazy yeah so he took it they I mean it was pretty fast I'm sure still but not fast enough and that's like his you know that's his dream car right there he's got a a 996 yeah 96 turbo he bought it from somebody had built it up it had like seven and change horsepower at the wheels and the guy put a really stiff clutch in there thought he'd ruined the car tanner bought it drove it home from I think he got it in Arizona changed the clutch took it I think it's called BBI is the place he took it and changed the clutch did a bunch of little tuning on it so it's six and change at the wheels now and that sucker is so stupid fast and just absolutely screamer well look how much better that looks in that disgusting Magnus Walker paint job that's the same car you're looking at the same car but that car looks bitching it doesn't look like some freak carbon makes everything better though well the carbon fiber Hood's pretty wicked I mean it's just it's amazing car I had a GT um a 1996 rather turbo just like his the same one the 996 turbo but mine was a hunk of [ __ ] mine broke down five times it almost queered me off of uh is that you allowed to say that I don't know if that's a can you say I didn't mean gay you know like I was like ah these are too weird they just break too much I mean Queer as an odd sure I wouldn't say queered off I don't even know why I said that I don't think I've ever said that before but um it's say butter coffee that's what it is it's it's in my blood but um the the car broke down five times like catastrophic failures like twice the shift linkage blew where the the clutch like I go to put in the clutch and I move the gear and there's just nothing the the gear shifter just spinning around in a circle nothing connected to it one time it blew at a red light and uh it stuck in second gear so I just revved it really high and I pulled out in second gear and I drove to the Porsche dealership in second gear and that was the second time they fixed it so I was like what in the [ __ ] what what's happening here then they replaced the engine once something wrong with the engine they didn't know what the [ __ ] was it was making weird noises they're like we're going to replace the entire
engine like okay great good whatever it's [ __ ] year old car replace the engine this thing to the ground and then they um then the gas gauge broke on the highway I had a half tank of gas but I did not have a half tank of gas didn't and in the left lane on the 101 near the Hollywood Bowl the [ __ ] ran out of gas oh man that's the worst yeah it was a box there you are on the side of the road and everyone knows you uhhuh and there's well can I tell you a little secret there was a I saw a good looking food truck about 2 minutes from here yeah uh we were getting a little lunch beforehand I was like oh let's swing in there and I caught just enough of the curb with the tire that wi the tire came off of it the noise was so loud that I was like okay get back in let's go we can't stop here I bought a car from Toyota Racing load me Alexus RCF beautiful car I'm not getting out at that point because then I'm that guy right who I just don't you just don't need more of that and your life turns out being in the cars don't especially if they're like you're that guy from Top Gear hey hey you just [ __ ] up that car man saw you hit that curb what happened there's nothing you can do about it man out if you drive enough you're going to hit a [ __ ] curb every now and again yeah now here he is in Downtown LA going sideways around these regular streets in that GT2 so sick in the tunnels yeah you don't people don't appreciate it like what it takes to drive like that you really have to know when to come in when to go out where the turn is when to hit the gas there's like so much knowledge and experience that goes into a drive in a car like that and the consequences are death it's not there's not a lot of gray area yeah this isn't a video game you're getting good at you're driving a [ __ ] 600 horsepower car that weighs a little bit over 3,000 lb have you ever gone and and either watched or done any drifting no oh my gosh you love it is the most it's just vehicular Shenanigans in one place right and that's why like I can drift but my transitions suck right mine feel like I stole a car whereas Tanner like you could hold a cup of coffee and never move it because he's just so good on man it's like when they come down to Long Beach or Irwindale I think that's it's
Irwindale is going to be a mall now or something but is it really yeah finally they they they fought that for years but man watching what those guys in Formula Drift can do is I mean it's the stuff we did in parking lots in high school right but now it's a sport so good I did a lot of that in uh high school because we had snow so our drifting was snow created like I learned how to drive from driving in snow because that's how when the asend kicks out it's like that's the skills you need it's really the same skills it's why pray for snow in the South seen it snow like five times in my life and I bought some of the cars from Top Gear so I don't know we built a 4×4 School Bus it was jacked up on 44s with a snowplow I don't know if you ever saw it it had a flamethrower on the roof well I I knew they were going to crush it and cut it up because they couldn't really like sell it to the public right and I said I let me buy it I'll take it home shipped it home to Georgia so did you really on that yes got it tagged uh what do you do with it I've taken my daughters to school in it we drive it around for Halloween do you really it still has a snow plow on the front and as you can imagine like it snowed once in like the last 10 years in Georgia and we made the news because everybody got on the interstate at the exact same time so it melts the snow with the Fire Blaster yeah turns out there was a Celica under there there was a Toyota Celica under there we left yeah we left a note it'll be fine it was in Maine that was in Caribou main at the old uh the Air Force Base that's right there okay and so there's Canada is just on the other side of that shot and this is one of those places where um I think they called a Minuteman where you had to be able to get from like where you were sleeping to an airplane in 60 seconds in case like cold war attacked by the Russians right so there's all these tunnels underneath where we were shooting and we had to have all sorts of clearance to be out there it was awesome waa and then I bought the bus how much did they sell that to you for uh I I got a I got a very good deal got a it cost more to ship at home it was a lot to ship it I'm not going to lie because you have to put on a lowboy because no truck that delivers cars can get through you know they have like 13
or 14 clearance getting across the country so when it's already at like 12 feet right you have kind of a problem did you think about driving it for about 5 seconds I mean on 44 in super swappers I can't imagine what the mileage would be probably like two yeah 2 miles per gallon and there's 19 7,000 mil on it and Tanner drove it and didn't kill it it now says the Magic School Bus on the side I put a stereo in there it's really fun but we gassed it up got it ready for it to snow in January and we didn't even get rain at my house it was just it's so defeating oh but snow you're right dude snow driving is I mean that's just some of the best out there parking lots and snow are that's what dreams are made of yeah that's where I learned how to drive in the snow in the parking lot it's it's just it's the best yeah cuz you're you're it's so gentle the way you're going sideways it's like it doesn't feel like when you're going sideways on concrete it feels very violent right it's like like on paved surfaces but if you're going in the snow it's like woohoo I I remember uh this girlfriend that I had back in Boston um took the car that I had to a parking lot once and for like an hour all we did was like gun it and then I'd slam on the E bra I'd turn the wheel and slam on the E bra we'd spin around in circles we were just laugh laughing and laughing it was fun and that's nothing happens to the car the car's fine that's basically what drifting is cuz you think about the beating your car takes on concrete when you do that all the friction and everything that's rubbing but on snow you just you just Glide and there are ice driving schools like there's one Tanner taught at one in Colorado for years so again one of the reasons he's so good at what he does but it's basically like a little uh road course they have and they wait for it to snow and then they put a little water on it and and ice it over and you take BMWs out there and learn how to handle a car in the ice like what a great idea it's a great idea and apparently it really translates sure one of the things that I I almost got a motorcycle a long time ago but I saw a bunch of people crash I saw I saw two crashes and a friend of mine saw somebody get hit some guy who was at a red light and somebody was texting hit this dude and he went flying
through the air and I was like that's it [ __ ] that and my two friends that got hurt they got hurt pretty bad um but I was thinking about getting one and my friend said who rode all his life he said get a dirt bike said get a dirt bike and learn how to drive in the dirt because when you when you have that loose surface you get used to the as end kicking out on you and it becomes normal it becomes natural you won't Panic so I think it's the same thing with snow and ice and totally probably directly translates driving on the ice I think so cuz it's again it's all of that you know it's that overseer the UN all of those things that you would feel in a smooth safe environment you would feel you would feel there a these guys drifting yeah that's uh that's uh look how close they are to each other that's Turk up front Freddy Oso's in the back you know who these people are yeah dude I love this stuff this is my MMA right here for the record this is my so he's from uh he lives up in New Hampshire Freddy's from Sweden I think but both of those cars so those start out Frederick osbo that's a front-wheel drive Canon TC converted to rear wheeel drive it's got a turbo 4cylinder in there Turk's car is a has a turbo super swap in it gigantic turbo it's a a you take this really seriously I just love it it's just the most fun you can have in a car but it's just going sideways it's basically these guys what they do is they have these clipping points right and they try to get as close to the clipping Point as they can it has to do with their speed of Entry the angle of the car right and they've got this huge e bra that they've got the the brakes are as big for the rear wheels as they are for the front because they've got to clutch kick it and pull it on a lever right Ken Block you know that Ken Block Mustang video which is amazing that four-wheel drive Mustang video hoonigan yes love the hunigan guys but that's they have a funny name for that the hoonicorn oh yeah yes that that Mustang is such a bad mammer Jammer but you know what what those guys do in that am of precision look at that [ __ ] thing oh it's it's a and so the E Brak is a big part of being able to do that huh right the way they bring the car around so especially in drifting those guys have to get as close to each other as they can right while still keeping
the line trying to get as close to these different like clipping points as they can so he's slamming on the E bre right to make these turns and the way these guys have to to use the clutch at the same time they're using the ebre to get it to slide without killing everything and then they get back on it a guy like Von getton Jr who drifts a Mustang he is Full Throttle the whole time and modulates just with the clutch and that's like next level stuff that I can't I I can only do 11 things at one time I can't add a 12 so when watching him go out there Tanner has a Tanner took a VW Pat convert it to rear wheel drive and use a LS7 uh from a Z6 it's no it's basically like the Chevy COPO Camaro 600 horsepower engine right uhuh and then they tune it he's got nine got nine to the wheels out of Tanner's new car wait a minute nine to the wheels and what kind of car is it it looks like a Volkswagen Pat it so on the outside it's a [ __ ] shitty Volkswagen commuter car and the inside it has 900 horsepower to the wheels yes that's insane it's badass that's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life I just wish Volkswagen would build something like a little bit like that it would make them much cooler now let me ask you this cuz Mustang people are so weird that that Ken Block video right what did they think about that car because he took was it a 65 yeah I think it's a 65 or 66 and they basically had to stretch it and make it kind of fit and they turned into a four-wheel drive right did everybody freak out they lose their [ __ ] mind I think I mean that car that car made the cover of Hot Rod Magazine so it transcended like people like me that love import cars and and high horsepower it was like no this I'm just going to Trump everyone with this ridiculous car so I think that's one of those ones that Ken also can kind of get away with stuff like that because he's Ken Block he's Ken Block and he kind of just like you have to dig that he can do what he wants to do because he made it work but yeah that's that's Tanner's faat what a ridiculous human being right 900 horsepower v8 Volkswagen Pat it's an LSM so he's he's uh he's racing in Daytona this week and he does that Global rally cross series which is a lot of fun it's basically him and Ken Block
and about uh 10 other people wrecking the crap out of each other there's not a single person out there that knows how to pass besides Tanner like it's the it's really fun to watch but it's just it's Insanity these cars are so I just don't understand why like why would you do that to an ugly car like I mean why wouldn't he do that to a car that's like a really cool car like why do that he's sponsored by cuz he's sponsored by Volkswagen okay so he races their stuff in GRC and then did some World Rally cross stuff with them but the coolest part is that he convinced them to let him do it like that's what I love Yeah cuz I have so I have a Scion xB at home like the little boxy one mhm that the same people that built that car Papa doas racing built this one and and my buddy Johan used to own it it's converted to rear wheeel drive the back of the car thinks it's a markv Supra like complete subframe just like Tanner's car and then it has a 2JZ Supra swap in there with a sixspeed and yo had a line lock put in if you look up uh if you look up DTA XB you would find it but Papa doas racing Stan Pap Great Name by the way super guy like coolest nerd you'll ever meet he's like the just he's like the doctor you know he's like the mad scientist up there but this XB has a line lock so you can step on the brakes and hold the button and it holds the front brakes right so then you rev It Up drop the clutch and it's a smoke show out of a Scion that looks like a front-wheel drive car oh that's hilarious that is soil there's some really fun stuff out there man if you if you make it to Atlanta you got to come drive it it's really fun I get it but the cars are ugly that's the what I don't understand taking these ugly cars and turn them into these amazing driving Vehicles like wouldn't you want to invest that same amount of energy into something that looks great no well that's a fair point Joe I hadn't really thought about it from that I mean for me when I saw this car uh in super street I was like oh well that's that's it CU for me I've got three daughters right so I can't like I can't have a 911 because that's a date night car right beyond that I can't afford on but let's pretend for a second I could afford and I love it I I still can't have one cuz I just don't need just a car for me and my wife
like I want my girls to be able to come with me so that Scion they can ride with me I can have three car seats in there oh God and go go a th miles hour they're a tiny bit embarrassed by it because it's really it sounds great it had MagnaFlow do a nice custom exhaust when it was here right it's got a great growl to it but when the Boost starts to build it's got this huge single turbo I mean it's it'll pin you back and you see it's four I think it's like 420 to the rear wheels car is very light right maybe 3,000 lb maybe right they cut a lot of stuff out to safety wise well I the best part a [ __ ] bread it's a lunch boox you're driving around a lunch boox with wheels uhhuh but it's got air conditioning cuz I wanted my wife to ride in it with me so when I bought it out here I took it to my friends at TRD and I told the guy Chuck I said can you see like looks like there's a vinage AC vinage a is this company that makes like old hot rod kits right so there was a control panel for Vintage Air thing in there and I said can you check and see like if we could make it have air conditioning he looked he's like yeah just going to bolt up a Supra AC compressor and charge it you'll be fine wow 420 hor 425 horsepower and a thing that looks like insane well companies like Vintage Air are so important because they made those old hot rods livable right because if you drove in one of those old hot rods most of them didn't have any AC and if they did it was a joke yeah it was not it was like the swamp cooler of what you put underneath but my wife will actually ride in stuff with me that makes a big difference as you know I understand I I do understand that makes that definitely makes a big difference what were you doing before you were hosting Top Gear so they found me um they found you like in the woods they found I was a you know when a man and a woman when they find each other they found me believe it or not from from YouTube from a clip that somebody had loaded up that I was traveling with uh the Speed Channel I started with them in ' 05 from a Craigslist ad love Craigslist really I'm I'm the number one Craigslist fan um I found this ad on there that just National Motorsports company was looking for a marketing guy that could be an MC and so
I sent all my stuff in and it was one of those like terrible interviews I'm not going to get this job and then two weeks later like hey go down to Daytona so you got the gig so go down to Daytona and I I like kind of knew a little bit about NASCAR you know I knew Petty and Wallace Earnhart but I didn't know much else besides that went to school for Mark so all of a sudden I I want to be around cars that was always my plan so I started as a like DJ for this big speed stage that would go to all the races so I was out here at Fontana twice a year I was at all the other races and that I kept begging them to let me do something on TV and they finally let me a year later and then I think a year after that 07 uh John Schneider from The Dukes of Hazard came to Atlanta Motor Speedway to be the Grand Marshall and they said hey would you do this little piece with this guy um he does kind of Lighter Side of racing you guys do something we found a General Lee to borrow and we shot this whole piece riding around in the General Lee and the whole time I refused to call him John I would only refer to him as Bo and I kept being like so Bo um Daisy's not your real cousin right he's like no that's a that's an actress Katherine Bach like but so like if she was not your real cousin like you guys ever you know go to dinner or see a movie or and so he starts like he's like yeah we good friends really enjoyed it and so some a race fan who I don't know who loaded that clip onto YouTube illegally this guy John hesling who's our executive producer saw it in uh I don't know if he was here or still in the UK at that point and he was like this kid might be funny he was looking at everybody that' been on TV for cars in like the last 10 years and so this R the craziest part about my life is that this person who I don't know who loaded this video up is the person that like I feel like is the reason I got Top Gear because did you ever find that person no I don't know who it is cuz the the video got kicked off cuz it was copywritten well I guarantee you that person is going to find out that they got you that gift somehow through the grape vine I want to take them to a race I want to say I want to do something because like I didn't have an agent I was in the phone book like I was just a kid trying to hustle and trying to figure out how am I going
to make this TV thing work that's a great story thanks man that's amazing I love Craigslist yeah I guess you should that's amazing I mean it's a little Craigslist is like a little bit filthy they get a little dirty but that's what human beings are all about really everything's everything's got a little bit of turds on it on crisis a little bit of poop there's a little bit yeah well there's a lot of weird you know men seeking women seeking men seeking women seeking this seeking that if you're I'll be honest that what is it um missed connections what's that that is this section of Craigslist where it's like hey uh saw you in the coffee shop you ordered the latte no way I had the muffin that's some of the best reading you can if you're bored or if you're a person that reads a lot when you're taking a dump that's that is Joy it's like people who've seen too many Tom Hanks movies and believe that they just missed out on the one like they they saw her order that pumpkin spice latte I love pumpkin spice lattes I knew it was her and I just I didn't have the courage but now I do and I need to find her you you honestly you're going to have to look at these because some of them are so we forget because you probably don't spend time with like my friends are just normal people I don't spend time with people that are genuinely just out of their mind crazy and that's an entire section for those people we had a guy like that on Fear Factor once and he met a girl at a I believe it was at a concert and spoke to her briefly and wanted to win Fear Factor because he he knew that she was the one and he needed to find her again and he spent some insane amount of time and money going around the city and where he met her putting up flyers and so he put up all these flyers and all these people that contacted him that weren't that girl you know that were [ __ ] with him and and he was like super determined but he had done it for like a couple years and they thought it was funny when we first talked about having this guy on the show like he's got a great story you got to hear the story so I heard the story I go dude imagine if that was your [ __ ] sister imagine if that was your daughter imagine if that was your girlfriend that's not a great story I that guy's a [ __ ] Maniac he's nuts and you know
who knows like where he's going to take it you know who knows if he's murder suicidal you know it's and what if she just what if he said to like hey can I get a napkin sure what if that was the entire conversation well it was a very brief conversation I forget the nature of the conversation but it was extremely brief but I remember being really creeped out by him really creeped out like when we had him on the show cuz I there was a lot of there was a lot of decision making that went into getting on those shows that I didn't agree with you know it's like a lot of people made it onto the show I was like [ __ ] really you want to put this guy on TV are you out of your mind this is a this a crazy person like there was a guy that I uh almost got into a fist fight with like I had to restrain him and it was the same thing it was a guy he beat his girlfriend up on one one TV show he threw her to the ground on a TV show and attacked some [ __ ] guy on VH1 and then then got in my face and I was like Jesus [ __ ] Christ and I said to them like why you putting these crazy [ __ ] that you know are crazy [ __ ] on TV like do you understand that this is like irresponsible this is not a smart thing to do what did the producers say to that um they didn't give a [ __ ] okay they're trying to they're trying to make money and the way to make money is to have crazy people on TV and that's it you know in my point of view was like I I had host it you know and these people were kind of dangerous and you know you're on rooftops with them and [ __ ] in in Downtown LA it's oh it's 30 [ __ ] stories up there's a lot of weird [ __ ] that could happen on those rooftops you know someone could push somebody somebody could jump and we had some like really nutty [ __ ] that made it on that show but that guy that guy the guy I almost got in a fight with and that guy that was trying to find that girl those they stood out like Jesus Christ cuz I looked in his eyes while I was talking to him and there was nobody there right it was just this just Mist Of Consciousness he's like a child in a man's body who thought he was in a movie and thought you know that he's just going to keep going until he finds the right and as the show went on you know a couple days in hanging out with this guy you get deeper and deeper into who he
really is and he's creepier and creepier right and weirder and weirder and then even the producers by the third day was like we made a mistake we shouldn't have had this guy on the show and we're Like We Only Hope right my bad they were like we only hope he never finds that girl you know can I can I ask cuz I was such a big fan what what was news radio like because when I watched that show and and saw I mean what an amazing group of people you got to work with like that when you look back on that time like how does that rank cuz you've done some really cool stuff turns out well for sure it it [ __ ] me up it queered me off of uh sitcoms forever really yeah I'd never do another sitcom because it would never be that good cuz it was it was so it was just so lucky and I had gotten to do a show before that for Fox that was terrible it was called hard ball was a baseball sitcom okay it wasn't it wasn't horrible because of the creators it was one of those situations where really funny guys who wrote with Married With Children they wrote for The Simpsons they created a show and then the show became once it went on television they took it away from them and then they brought in some hacks and it just became it was gross so that got canceled really quick so I went from that to news radio which was the total opposite the guy running the show is a genius the writers were fantastic the the scripts were insanely funny and the people were so talented and I had no acting experience I had taken a few acting lessons cuz they forced me into taking it when they gave me this big develop deal way was all based on standup and all of a sudden I'm out in Hollywood and I'm totally feel like a fraud I totally feel like I don't belong and I'm on the greatest sitcom of all time yeah it was it was Madness but it was it was one of the greatest things about it was that it never got any recognition so no one ever got a big head because it never no one ever got famous from it it was just we barely survived every year and the one year that I thought that we weren't going to get canceled was the year we got canceled cuz it was I was like well they didn't cancel us after Phil Hartman got murdered we're probably not going to get canel but then it just didn't work it just didn't work with John litz it's not
that what litz isn't funny it's just it was it was [ __ ] it was he was dead you know it was the whole thing was just you know even though there was Andy Dick was still on the show and Vicky Lewis and Mora tney was still amazing and Dave Foley it was still it was like having Phil dead was always going to be a part of what was wrong it just didn't work it was just it was in that time was such a you know it was um it was a really interesting landscape for TV cuz there weren't a ton there's also like if we look back at that time I don't remember a lot of other shows that I really liked and could sit there because it was such a good Ensemble of so many people that brought different things whereas normally there's like there's alpha male and then there's two other sort of people right but like that was a fantastic mix of people it was a weirdo group it was a very weirdo group none of us we were all outli were all weirdos like even Phil was a weirdo Dave Foley is as weird as it gets Andy Dick's the weirdest human that's ever walked the face the planet I was weird I didn't belong no one belonged you know we we all had some weird Bond because of that though we all felt like we didn't fit in sure and so like when we would do like we'd have guest stars that would be like real actors we'd be like ew what what's this method acting he's doing we would we would have guest stars and they would like talk actor talk like industry talk talk like there's a way that actors talk they pick up this uh this sort of acquired vernacular and one of the things that I say they when they meet someone they never say hey nice to meet you like you did and I do normal stuff they say good to see you because they're hoping that they didn't meet you and forget you cuz they don't give a [ __ ] about you they're so con they're concentrating on themselves wholly and and and exclusively so to mitigate that what they do is they say good to see you and it so it becomes this thing that they all say when you someone and they say good to see you and they're an actor [ __ ] run okay cuz they they've adopted this actor think and they would read like the the what I would call the devil's rag like The Hollywood Reporter they would read that [ __ ] and get angry God how does he have a show God how does
she have a show and they would like that [ __ ] like would happen like when we have guest stars who would do that and we would be like so it was a weird combination of a bunch of people that were just weirdos they were just they didn't they didn't fit the mold of like standard sitcom and no one went on to do a sitcom since none of them I didn't think about that right though no one did um Vicki did one for a little bit that didn't work out um Steven root went on to do amazing work in office space and he was in um he was fantastic in that [ __ ] HBO what is that uh the HBO uh documentary the HBO show what the [ __ ] is a show with um about liquor about bootleg lior sales Boardwalk Empire yeah Boardwalk Empire he was amazing in that I he's just a [ __ ] brilliant actor he was the one guy that wasn't himself on the show too like like what they would do is they take the wackiest [ __ ] about like Andy and exaggerate it the wackiest [ __ ] about me and exaggerate it but Steven root like if you met him he's nothing like Jimmy James right Jimmy James is this wacky character that he developed but he's just a brilliant brilliant actor you know just to the Bone I was listening listen to you one day and you were talking about the difference and I can't I'm sorry I can't remember if it was standup that I was watching you or or the podcast but you were talking about difference between uh Comedians and actors and how essentially actors have to get up every day and pretend to be someone else they never really like they don't know who they are whereas comedians like know who they are and they that's what they talk about but I even in my limited experience in that town I don't like I'm really lucky I don't ever have to wake up and wonder who to be I can't imagine what that's truly like to to dive into someone so much that you essentially get paid to Lose Yourself each time and then you have to move on and do it again like that's a lot harder well Ste Steven brute who's the one guy who did that on the show is he doesn't have any problems knowing who he is he's a really nice guy super easy to like you get to know him he's like very warm and friendly like e easygoing guy and he just loves the craft of creating a character like it's he has the most pure intention out of any actor person I've ever met like his
his love is really of creating you know that Steve Bushi character that you remember from that movie that you know that Russell Crow character they like [ __ ] he nailed it you know like that he just loves nailing a character I mean that's he's just a master actor he's just a master at that and there's a difference between those people and the people that just want to be famous and they want to be famous as an actor so there's there's a lot of weirdness in that that craft there's there's a giant percentage of the people that want to do it are massively damaged people which is why they feel like they should be famous it's like they got [ __ ] over when they were children or when they were you know adolescence or whatever the [ __ ] happened to them that led them to have this insatiable desire to be thought of a special and once they get it that's when they become Maniacs right like everybody's heard the story of the person who's got their own sitcom and then they become Maniacs I mean I've I've met them I've seen them you know I've talked to them I had Roseanne on and she was telling me about how [ __ ] crazy she went when she got a sitcom you know she was like I was [ __ ] crazy completely crazy like she'll she would tell you and she was a great standup comic in my opinion like one of the top 10 greatest of all time like Roseanne's in my as far as like revolutionary influential standups I think for for her time like she's a top 10 sure and she she went crazy she they all go crazy it's like she seems totally chill now like Yeah and I don't know if that's just perspective over time or or what but I think it's that she got rid of Tom Arnold that helped poor that poor guy is he is crazy every side of you know why he married her get the [ __ ] out of here I don't mean that that's ridiculous I just mean like I feel like that's one of those guys if you watched like 12 hours of just his life you'd be like [ __ ] man yeah I mean that dude's crazy I I I met him I did that best damn Sports Show when he was on he's a nice guy yeah but you know he took his chot he had to do what he had to do married Roseanne did what he had to do and then it didn't work out it's weird man some days my wife will be like hey can we um can we hang
this painting and I'm like uh probably like man the kids going to bed early like that it's a different negotiation I think when you're married but like his was like you might have to marry Roseanne Bar to have a career right that's just I'm saying she's lovely that's just a different kind of negotiation for the record that was yeah he sold his soul I know what you're saying thank you he did yeah want to say that you like you will trade sex for hanging up the painting sure you'll make a deal just house just what you got to do I get it I get it that's a good move but that's like everybody wins it's like nobody got hurt there you Mar someone you love everybody's happy he sold a soul but he but he got out of it he's alive you get a refund on your soul like what do you think happens at that point be Mrs Rosanne Tom Arnold the devil he has a very [ __ ] steep price that he puts on everything it's a big big number out here man but I mean she's a super talented woman but she was 300 lb and you know he did what he had to do what do you think um what was what was her husband on that show John uh John Goodman yeah amazing one of those guys that I watch I me just I I can't from from Big dant Teague and Oh Brother Where Arthur he the Bowski that [ __ ] character from the big leowski that wasn't even you're not even Jewish man show shabas you find out he wasn't Jewish I don't turn on the TV I don't turn on the stove and I sure as [ __ ] don't [ __ ] roll and he had the [ __ ] he had the gun he would pull out when someone would violate bowling rules am I the only one that gives a [ __ ] about the rules what a great what a [ __ ] character look there he is just oh love him just tremendous he's amazing man I can get your toe by 3:00 with nail polish like what how do you Channel I'm finishing my coffee it was just conviction of that being that crazy well I mean he just created a c well first of all Cohen Brothers movies are my alltime favorite movies those my all time like when I saw Donald Trump was running for president the other day I said we live in a Cohen Brothers movie it's official seriously cuz like his [ __ ] slob this goofy slob is going to
run his ego just pouring out of his ears have you ever met him no weird dude and now I'm sure we met him we did something on Top Gear where we were trying to convince him to like pick one of these cars that that we had each picked for a celebrity we found out like halfway through was for Donald Trump and he basically was like uh this guy looks gay he's looking at Tanner he's like I think this car you look gay so the car is probably for a gay person and whatever Tanner I don't remember what kind of car he had picked but was like what what did y'all tell did you tell Donald Trump to make fun of me that I look like I'm in that's just what he does right I just he just went for it and then he was like Adam I'll take yours was he trying to be funny I think he was but he's one of those people that I don't think he can hear other people I think maybe he can read lips a tiny bit but like he walks into the room and all you do is you look at his hair man you can't there is nothing an asteroid could have hit the earth next door and you'd still be like man what's going on up there how do you do that like how do you get up every day and you say yeah this is the look well you know what what weirds me out here's you and him what weirds me out is it's not like he's going bald is he I don't think so I think he's just he just moves it around in some weird way or doesn't want to cut it or it's his signature look but it seems like there's too much hair up there for him to be going bald it's just I well you've been there in real life so what is it frozen through do you remember the hair spray that had look like hair follicles I don't know if it's like that's in there it's not a it's not a rug it's it's something good look it's just God you can't take your eyes off of it I just don't understand I mean he can't think it looks good dude's kind of weird cuz New York doesn't actually like him that much nobody likes him how could you like him he's a dick he puts his face on everything but he he's like he's so aggressive with his like dickness like I remember he had this Feud with with uh um what the [ __ ] her name who was it with God damn it oh with Rosie O'Donnell that's who it was yes he had this Feud with Rosie odonnell and he was on you know TV he's like well Rosie's a loser basically she's a loser right okay let's think
about who's listening to this you're talking about a multi-millionaire movie star world famous comedian right and you're talking and a camera is on you and it's broadcasting to the rest of the world and you're saying this multi-millionaire world famous comedian is in fact a loser well what are we right what the [ __ ] am I what am I if she's a loser like what standards do you have and how do you feel about yourself right you know like this is just nonsense see that guy needs mushrooms in his life in a bad way he needs to get in a tent in the middle of the desert and eat a [ __ ] giant bag of mushrooms and really find out how the rest of the world sees him ridiculous I think he needs to go to like a Sears and pick out a washer and dryer on like a Thursday night like I think he maybe just feel like what life is kind of like but like those are the kind of people that I see and like his wife uh Malia malaria malaria something with an m whatever her name is larium that's one of those girls that I would look at her and then look at him and think there's no way you guys have ever had a conversation right no you look at her you look at him and you go do you know who Tom Arnold is he did what you're doing but he did it with a woman woman right I see what you're doing I I get you it's all right hey look it's better that than working at Wendy's if if these are your odds true what do you want to do suck Donald Trump's dick or get a lot of money you get look at her Jesus Christ son you did well I mean you did well Donald I got to give you that with your wacky hair if you're into that that's if you're into what tens yeah who's into that who's into hot chicks keep your mouth shut I was thinking I was really thinking for her like if you're really into oh she's not into that I know no but she's probably peeled up she probably just like stays on a steady oxycotton drip throughout the entire day and just just stays mellow and weird look at that gelatinous facial thing he's got going on too where just rolls into his neck color is really interesting of that hair too I'm telling you I hope you meet him just I I hope not necessarily that you meet him but just that you're in in your life you end up in the same room and just test my theory I honestly I couldn't look away
well it the moment if I did meet him the moment he gets Dicky I go I will grab your [ __ ] hair I will get my hand in there and I will find out what's going on so you might want to shut the [ __ ] up what are you going to do you going to beat me up you going to call security I bet I get your hair before security gets here I bet I get to your [ __ ] hair dude shh don't get Dicky with me just lean in just I don't the later stages of my life or where where I'm at I don't have any patience for people like that I just I don't have any desire I get it I you know that's the reason why he's so successful you don't get to be a super [ __ ] billionaire Real Estate Mogul who has his name on every building the Trump Towers you don't get that unless you have that sort of an attitude so I guess I understand stay there history put us up there once for the the upfronts and uh I opened the little like mini bar and his face was on the vodka I don't know what for me I was like this feels like too much bro this is just I feel like you got to draw a line somewhere your face is on the or you just go for it it just go for it if you just keep going like the further and deeper you go into the crazy ego swimming pool it becomes like warmer water CU like it gets better is that it yeah more he can be like the Walt Disney of total douchebag real estate bogles is that look at that Trump yes he's on the water like it was it it felt like Disney World I couldn't escape his face he's got Stakes Trump staks look above that Jamie look at this I think those are made from uh manatees and in endangered species polar bear staks yeah right right when they get sad about the [ __ ] icebergs melting they shoot him in the [ __ ] head and cut him up drag him down to New York do you think he's ever had a hot dog from a hot dog cart in New York yeah I'm sure he has I mean uh you like all [ __ ] aside like you got to he went fairly bankrupt mm and then built it right back up again good for him I mean he really did he he hit a point in our lifetime where he like it basically was worth what we're Worth right you know it's
like went down to like almost nothing and then he just shot right back up to being that guy again it was like one week where he thought can I can I go to the grocery store or do I need to wait a couple days before I go and then he was like okay I'm going to be a millionaire again then he I think he never stopped being a millionaire I think but it got down to like a million MH but he might have had a lot of debt too I forget what the entire story was but it was there was a story that I read in one of those magazines as Squire in New York or something like that and they were essentially saying that what he's doing right now is pretending that he's rich and that if you look at like the amount of debt that he had but he knew how to get rich I mean a guy like that knows what the [ __ ] he's doing you just and I I always wonder like do you H like to be a Michael Jordan don't you have to be kind of crazy you know to be that goddamn good at basketball and to be that [ __ ] deal making son of a [ __ ] don't you have to be a real [ __ ] I think you have to trade in like okay look he claimed his network was 9 billion we figure it's close to 4 billion 4.1 billion to be exact but this is this is recently now right yesterday this is yesterday yeah but this is like look even if he's worth 4 billion or n who gives a [ __ ] he's a goddamn billionaire you know he wasn't a while ago at one point in time I want to say like maybe 15 years ago maybe 20 something like that he had hit a like a really uh really bad spot and there was a an issue with him like opening up golf courses like some golf course in Scotland and this one guy was fighting it and this one guy like he had land that was outside of the golf course and they wanted to buy him out and he wouldn't sell and it became this huge issue where you know Donald Trump's like this guy's a loser he won't sell me his property and the guy's like I don't give a [ __ ] about him this is my house this where I live man yeah [ __ ] leave alone but it was it was a fascinating thing it's like this this insane pursuit of just ungodly wealth yeah and that's what he does you know that's his thing and now he's going to run for president it's weird man I'm all about keeping the lights on but sometimes you watch those people that don't they don't know what
you know there has to be this good balance of work and hustle and drive and enjoyment like if you're just doing stuff all the time and you can't find anything good out of life you should probably just check up a little bit well I don't know the dude I mean maybe he does find good life they asked me to be on That Celebrity Apprentice thing I thought about it for a second but oh that would have been great man I'm not into that man I just I don't like those shows I don't I don't I don't like those fake scenarios I don't like any of that it just didn't seem appealing to me and it wasn't a fuckload of money it wasn't enough money where I was like hm but it it's also I don't I don't enjoy those kind of show does that mean you would dance with the stars or you wouldn't no [ __ ] chance not a chance in hell that's hard by the way I did a part in that movie zookeeper and I had to learn how to dance me and uh Leslie bib we uh we did this this dance scene where we had I had to learn how to dance for [ __ ] weeks how had to take dance lessons I was like that's awesome [ __ ] this you know and they were like you should totally do Dancing with the Stars like [ __ ] you I'm not doing it no I'm not doing it no chance and now it's not even danc with the Stars it's like dancing with the used to be stars like a long time ago dancing with the internet Sensations dancing with the people you kind of know who they are like or dancing with the people who someone out there knows the the The Bachelor guy was just on there and I I don't know I don't have a nice um he was from Iowa that those those are the people that are I'm proud like when I go to the supermarket and I see US Weekly and I look at the cover what I love is when I look at the cover I don't know anybody I'm like good I don't know who the [ __ ] any of of these people are you know oh Dominic is mad at Deborah who the [ __ ] is Deborah who's Dominic what are they talking about good I'm glad I don't know I'm glad I'm out of that cultural Loop it's strange man I'm not sure why I'm sure you think about this all the time I'm just not sure why people care about some of the people that we do it's not really that we care it's that they broadcast people this is what I I've thought about this long and hard for a long time when you have something like television and
it's something that is just a natural thing that people come home they turn it on and they sit there and they Vege out I have children too sure and uh you know like if I want my kids to chill for a second and just like sit down like if I need to do something look Daddy has to make a business call so I'm going to put on one episode of a show what show do you want to watch and then they'll sit down they [ __ ] zombie out right for that 20 minutes or 22 minutes whatever the show's on their jaws open up and they sit there I want a drink okay get a drink here's your drink here's your chip you want some chips okay here's your snack cheese okay I'll be right over here if you need me and I know they're not going anywhere but there's something that happens when people watch TV they just lock in well if you get used to that thing being on well you'll watch almost anything and that's how Keeping Up with the Kardashians is still on the air because people sit down there and they watch they just sit there I was going to buy this purse but then I couldn't find it and I was like oh my God this is so annoying and I'm watching it I'm watching it I'll be in a hotel room when it comes on and if they edit it quick enough where it's like one scene to the next scene one scene to the next scene like I I'm watching a little pingpong match with my eyeballs for whatever reason I lock in I know their names I know their I know their names I know the wife I look at that poor Bruce Jenner bastard before he became a woman I I know about all those people for no reason there's not a goddamn thing they've ever said that has been interesting to me it's not a Content thing it's not a quality thing it's not a they they have these they're they're engaging they have these amazing points they're very Unique Individuals no there's none of that there's none of that right like there's a show I really love it's called Life Below Zero you ever seen that show no I feel like I I've heard of that it's all these crazy [ __ ] that live north of the Arctic Circle they live subsistence living there's this one woman that we had on the show named Sue aens and she lives 200 [ __ ] miles plus above the Arctic Circle in this place where you're not allowed to have permanent structure so
she has tents that she built up there and like these these these covered you know circular tents it snows like a [ __ ] there's wolves everywhere she was attacked by a grizzly bear okay broken her hip bit into her skull broke her leg she went back shot the bear and ate it okay that's a person I'm interested in seeing you know what I mean that that [ __ ] is Gangster as [ __ ] she lives crazy she's crazy but she's awesome she's a really it's really unique like when I had her on the show sitting and talking to her cuz she's so personable you had her here so she knows there are other places in the world she could live she likes it up there she really does I mean I just think people like weird [ __ ] some people like living in Florida they like it they like Florida great point you know they just like I'm staying here like she loves it up there she loves the Solitude she loves the the fact that she has to rely on herself and but she's she's a unique human she has a very unique perspective she's very intelligent and very she's very strong and independent and so that's person that I want to hear talk sure she's just unique I don't get any of that from oh we went there and oh my God this was so annoying the air conditioning was not working properly he and those are not my favorite shoes and he you're you watching nonsense but as long as that nonsense is on television a certain amount of people will watch nonsense nonsense in the environment of dating is like always exciting to people like who's hooking up with who is he going to be with her or is he going to be with her is she going to feel rejected or is he going to feel rejected or is she going to reject him but then he rejects her oh my God it's amazing there's suffering there's Panic people are freaking out right now because it came out that I I guess whoever the current Bachelorette is might have slept with a bunch of the guys I've been woman has sex with a man I've been telling my wife for years I was like you know everybody on that show is hooking up and she's like no it's not it's not like that one of our one of our directors on top here this guy Gary was was one of the directors for the first couple Seasons bachor he said dude there's a vault with footage every there's a camera everywhere right and we
feed these people tons of alcohol hardly any food there's there's video of everybody humping like there's just a whole closet full of weird videos of these people hooking up find out who Caitlyn sleeps with and the surprising motivation no I don't want to find out click that [ __ ] tab you shut that tab off I don't want to ever see that again you keep that out of my life Jamie you may have to you may want to clear out the Google history just to just to double clear your history Jamie that's this is enough I can't do it I won't I miss the days of of you remember the real world on MTV that was like People's First sort of look at like well I guess if people just sit around and drink all day they might get into fights about something that's seemingly important well just as a bit of History the guy who produced The Real World world was the producer Fear Factor I did not know that yeah Matt cunit great guy boy I bet he's sawesome he was the guy that forced the people into drink and come on Fear Factor was it was it from a horse or something donkey sure it was his idea he he laughed at me when I told him you shouldn't do it I'm like you shouldn't have people drink C he's laughing why not they're going to do it don't do it don't [ __ ] do it don't do it I didn't I gotta be honest I didn't watch a ton of the show because I was just against like why would you eat like exactly hes anus I'm going to be honest with you I didn't watch it either I watched it maybe three times the entire [ __ ] 148 episodes I enjoyed some of the like the the physical things that people would have to do like I get why those were were cool and some I don't know what like Lake y'all used for some stuff cic mostly boy yeah that sucker looked it looked cold and it looked rough some days oh I mean this how cold does it get we're living in California gets down to 50 it must have been 60° in there water was like 75° I don't know how they dealt with it but you've seen one snake on a stranger I just felt like this is not for me man well I get so used to like [ __ ] up things and vomit and like like it just I'm just so used to it I'm so like just unfed like one time my wife um she went to the gym and she had wheat grass juice right after the gym she threw up in her car she just couldn't help it she was on
the highway and she threw up in her console she was like oh my God I can't even clean it I'll throw up again I go I'll clean it I didn't give a [ __ ] big deal there to me throw up to me was nothing I saw throw up every day I mean literally every day I was at work is either someone throwing up or someone thinking they were going to throw up once a week for sure I saw three or four people throw up every week it was really like preparing preparing you for being a parent too sort of yeah a l you're unfazed like when the diapers hit everything else you're like oh let's get in there well you know what that was one thing that really was shocking to me wasn't um that it wasn't gross at all like when it's your baby's [ __ ] right and you're cleaning out a diaper and you're wiping her and cleaning her it's not gross at all you just feel like oh this poor little thing I got to help her I got to help her out but when your un when it's your uncle at a wedding you're like this guy's got a problem exactly this weirdo yeah drunk bastard [ __ ] CRA his pants again [ __ ] Savage how old are how old are your kids the little ones are seven and five seven and five that means you've seen like Doc McStuffins oh yeah of course Doc McStuffins I watch all the time I like to call her Dr McStuffins it drives my girls crazy well you know what they think is funny now they like to watch shows that they already know in other languages and just laugh and laugh yeah they like Bubble Guppies in French that's the latest plays in the car singing Fant bubble guies fantastic because you have daughters too people at home are like yeah not fantastic people listening don't care like Jamie over there no kid no girlfriend look at him he's like you should get some kids man it is a ride he doesn't even have a dog or a plant dude we the the beauty is when kids say things that you you know aren't wrong but you're not sure how to help them understand that publicly sometimes they're incorrect right we stopped on the we drove back from Chicago last week we stopped in a in a town called arola I think it was in Illinois might have been Indiana it's something with an eye it's the home of the guy that created the Raggedy an and Andy doll and it just so happens there was a parade
and kids raggedy and Andy parade and kids here there's a parade and it's like it's like catnip to to children they just go oh my God we have to see this parade and we were just trying to get them out of the car to stretch their leg so we go okay great we'll see the parade big woman comes up on a golf cart and she tells this high school girl okay plug in the speakers and this girl gets out with a boom box like a disc man and two 3-in speakers and she plugs it in with an orange extension cord and my wife turns to me and she says yeah is do you think that's the music I said honey just we just got is an exit off the interstate let's soak this up and then suddenly we realize the parade has begun my uh our four-year-old Millie is on my shoulders Elsie our seven-year-old standing my wife's holding the baby and so they start and the first group is about six women dressed as raggedy an and then one weird dude wearing striped socks and I don't know how to tell you this man but I just felt like saying hey dude you're not if you're not going to dress up like it just stand over here with the other 12 of us watching this parade which is all of a 100 yards long that actually that's that's way too much it's like 30 yards long so the six the six women go by then there's about five high school girls dressed as raggedy an that they walk by and then there's the eight girls from the local high school flag corps that's the entire parade it takes maybe a minute and a half half and then Elsie the seven-year-old said is that it real loud keep mind all of town is there and then Millie the four-year-old says that's the worst parade I've ever seen and she's not wrong no but I didn't know how to tell her like ah you sit there and you're like all right all right how do you do this and I said Millie that wasn't very sweet but very honest let's just go get some food let's get let's get out of here and I know that tried but like sometimes when kids say stuff you just don't know else to be like you're not wrong but socially we shouldn't say that out loud well they need to experience that though they need to know that not everything is the Disneyland parade right not everything is Snow White and the cast of Frozen and all the Jazz that you see at Disneyland like sometimes
sometimes in the middle of the country it's dog [ __ ] it's just a terrible [ __ ] parade it's a terrible terrible ragged and parade have you ever taken the drive from LA to Vegas yeah oh yeah you know those there's all those weird towns that you stop off along the way if you you adventur bar and just yeah bar a great town in comparison to some of the really odd ones well there was one that was about an hour or so outside of Vegas I was with a couple buddies we were driving down to go it was a long time ago to go see some kickboxing event K1 event that was in Vegas and so we uh said well let's just stop over here and see if we go get grab something to drink or something like that so we pulled into this town and they had a wild west show and I was like oh we are going to see this [ __ ] Wild West show so we got out and they had like a fake gunfight and the whole thing and like there's these like shitty fake houses that were like you know those movie houses yeah you have the front and there's nothing behind it like Saloon right Bank you know and so we got out and they had this whole act and all we could talk about like the whole weekend was that [ __ ] shitty Wild West show that we stopped just randomly completely randomly pulled off the road drove a mile pulled in paid our money got out of our car smoked some weed got in and went to see this ridiculous Wild West show that was the highlight of our weekend not at the time but became the highlight of our weekend because all weekend we're just making fun of this [ __ ] Wild West show that we saw and their total commitment right that's the part like when you see it and there's like Wyatt her walks out it's not a guy who's kind of Wyatt herish this son of a [ __ ] believes he is Wier he grew that mustache curled it at the end right yeah poor bastards they just man they're kind of like the people that believe in the doing the reenactments oh yeah like man I know how this going to end the best reenactments are reenactments where you know it's a lie in the first place like a reenactment of like the time you saw Bigfoot they used have this [ __ ] show on the Sci-Fi Network when I was on when my my show was on Joe Rogan questions everything was on the network they had this uh Supernatural show that should have just been called the Liars hour
right cuz it was just a bunch of liars and one of them was these people that said that they were trapped in a house in Maine while werewolves were outside and they just going over this whole thing and they're like talking about and then they had like the reenactments of them like looking out the window and then seeing the things like they're trapped in do werewolves not know that glass is super [ __ ] easy to break you have Windows you're looking out windows the werewolves that you're protected inside this [ __ ] house from these killing machines yeah what cuz they can't figure out how to break the glass and get it the mey delicious portions inside right the [ __ ] out of here that's not how that works man the werewolves are little like there's one in your lobby that genuinely frightened me you think it's going to stop and like use the doorbell no well that's a rubber one it's really easy doesn't weigh that much you smack it Wiggles if that was a werewolf it's going through your window it's going to tear part everybody in the room but it's just those reenactments you know they're they're they're cheesy in the first place but when it's a lie when you know it's a lie met those Ghost Hunter guys oh they're the best do you like those guys no I don't they watching that show cracks me up some of them are sure are very nice and some of them really believe but I watch why did you two just look at each other with that funny look cuz we've had a bunch of those guys on the not Ghost Hunter guys but Bigfoot hunter guys we've had a few of those on the show the ones that make the Sasquatch call oh yeah we had that guy on God that guy's the best had boo on he's just shouting nonsense not only that no one has ever like recorded a Sasquatch where you know it's like if you do a coyote sound you know what a coyote sounds like right he can hear coyotes they have recordings you don't know what a [ __ ] Bigfoot sounds like you're just guessing because it's made up exactly because it's not a real thing they just yell out into the holler they yell out into that Canyon how about those dudes the guys in Alabama a couple years ago that had they said they had one in a deep freezer that guy had already hooked something just a few years before that
really he yeah he had hoaxed it a few years before that he said well that one was fake but this one's real this one's real this time's real I got them yeah we got him in the Deep Paranormal Witness season 3 is this the werewolf one the werewolf oh please play some of this [ __ ] stupid [ __ ] oh look it says Joe Rogan questions everything in the corner look at you look these people reenacting is this this is what the inside of the house would have looked like yes this is the reenactment a kind of froze I had this weird recurring two things playing at the same time had a weird recurring dream as a kid that I saw a lumberjack outside my house he was in a red and black flannel like uh the one biggie used to wear and he had red eyes and I like growing up in Alabama I would see him outside the house and I thought like that dude could get in right but it was just a dream yeah I didn't believe he was actually outside there scroll back to that guy talking about the thing was outside why you I heard it and I just froze was he drunk dropped his keys looks like and I felt very vulnerable do you have to have a mustache to have a really crazy story or is that sometimes just an added bonus listen to this Paranormal Witness season 3 that means they had two other seasons of the shitty show look he sees it I'll see it he was right there I was on my Dodge Ram and that's when I realized I had sold in pants this thing was breathing I thought for sure he was going to come this the worst Recreation of all time honest question is it possible this guy had glaucoma and it just the neighbor had a black lab it's possible this guy's been sniffing paint since he was 3 years old and he's got three brain cells inside his head they are bouncing around off the walls he's an idiot he he can't even pronounce sentences but it's just amazing oh now he's going down that they recreated this they actually made a show around an obvious lie and recreated it I just feel bad he left his keys out there I wonder if they're still there well one of the things when I first started doing the Sci-Fi show they were worried that the
show was going to be just totally debunking things and I said no I'm going to approach everything with a complete open mind want to find out what what what are these alien implants that people keep saying that they find in their bodies what are you know what are crop circles what are all these things yeah the problem is once you start looking at it you realize you're dealing with the same type of human being over and over and over again you're dealing with these really socially awkward delusional bad Liars right and that's a whole industry there's a whole industry of making shows around the stories of these socially awkward bad Liars like I met one guy within 3 minutes of meeting him and I'm not exaggerating he told me that he saw Bigfoot that he saw a bulletproof wolf that appeared out of mist and that he knew a spot where he could regularly summon UFOs they would come and these these orbs would show up and they would start moving around you and and and we were looking at each other I was like I can't believe we drove out to talk to this [ __ ] guy long shot is he by any chance unemployed this guy actually ran his own bar he see how does a guy like that have a job though like don't you feel like all his time would be taken up by believing nonsense he might have lived in Florida somewhere like that you could just get away with [ __ ] I love that Florida is your go-to like what's the craziest place this country Florida it's everybody's craziest place it to well in the South it really is it's the best that's like we were like what what ever happened to him moved to Florida well I had my friend Jim Floren te was on the podcast the other day standup comic and he uh he moved to Florida when he was a kid he said because when he went there on vacation everybody got laid he was like [ __ ] we'll just he goes let's just move down here because you realize like in Florida like girls would just [ __ ] like things were crazy it's just a totally different kind of human being that you're interacting with I love that that was his reasoning that's that is exactly what his reasoning so brilliant and pure well if you live in New Jersey it's hard to get laid you know if you're a young guy coming up in New Jersey it's [ __ ] to grind is it yeah to grind cuz all the big hair and like it's a lot of
work it's a lot of work they're not that fun you ever watch Real Housewives in New Jersey once when I was getting it it's based on real human beings those are real human beings there's the one lady who literally her [ __ ] hair starts and inch above her eyebrows like her she has her eyebrows and then an inch later her she's a monkey she's essentially some kind of monkey and they let this lady live with people and uh she wound up uh she's in jail now for like that didn't work out her husband her husband's an ape you look at her husband he looks like a gorilla like someone shaved down a gorilla big fat Italian gorilla and that's that's Jersey do you know what I almost Miss is uh what was the MTV show Jersey Shore oh yeah that was that watching that train wreck happen was you have to admit like when that dude the situation yes was like like I'm I've got a Lamborghini now those that was one of those moments when you thought kids I can't wait to tell you about this one day well how did it not stay on the air that's what's confusing me great question how'd that show get canceled somehow Paulie D like I don't know what he seems very Charming like I want to not like him but I kind of do because he's just fist pumping like James like I think he's just a dude that just knows what he loves right but Snookie seems everyone else seems bananas did you ever see the video the one where Snookie got punched in the face I did God it was hard to watch man that was hard to I've been I've been in I've been in one fight in my life and it was one with one of my best friends in sixth grade my buddy Richard Davis punched me repeatedly in the face why I was we were mad about something right and it was like I'll meet you after school whoa well I was like trying to like uh tackle him and trying to I don't know what I don't know what I was doing I had never been in a fight before my face was so swollen I told my mom that I had had an accident on my bicycle because I didn't want to tell her like yeah my friend Richard from up the street beat the crap out of me did you and Richard stay for after yeah we're friends now great guy great guy like that was a time when you could just get in a fight and like all right cool it was [ __ ] up how easy that guy punched
her like he just like you [ __ ] [ __ ] boom just punched her in the face like there wasn't no like worry that she was going to hit him she didn't have a knife she wasn't threatening him it wasn't like self-defense it was just like he decided he didn't want her talking anymore so he just knuckled her right in the face it was like her hat flew off there it is right there oh don't oh don't play play that back play that back go from the beginning though here goes the guy was a a school teacher too watch no boom yeah and he did he lose his job after that of course he did I think he actually had some MMA fights no he didn't yeah he just punched it right in the face what was it by the way that that you and my buddy scrape are good friends I know but like what is it that that made you get into where where did that come into your life where did MMA UFC yeah 1997 is when I first started working for them I did the postf fight interviews in 1997 and was it something like that had you seen it and kind of dug it told Dana and those guys hey before Dana really yeah I worked at the UFC before Dana I didn't realize that yeah I quit and then Dana hired me okay I I did it back during the Dark Ages when it was banned from cable right and it was uh like it was in the video store in the Faces of Death aisle that's where you would see it go I remember those oh I didn't watch them I just remember seeing them well that's where you would find the UFC videos it was just it was a freak Show and uh I my most of my life I'd been involved in martial arts from the time I was a little kid sure so for me it was like that show uh or that event was like the first time they had figured out a way to get different styles to compete against each other yeah and for me as a martial artist it was entirely fascinating because I had always wondered like what would happen if a karate guy fought a judo guy or what have you sure and so the UFC was the first time someone had ever done it and put it together so I was a huge huge fan of it and um they needed someone to do their interviews just the after the fight interviews and they literally didn't give me any instruction no advice nothing they put a microphone in my hand and they said okay uh we're going to come to you in 3 minutes to talk about the fights this was live on pay-per-view
I mean no one had briefed me right when I say no one to give me any advice I mean they hadn't said a [ __ ] thing to me they turned the camera on me and they said okay you're live and I and I was like this is an amazing event blah blah blah blah blah we got this guy's going to fight fight that guy and the implications are blah blah blah blah blah and this and this blah blah blah blah blah and he's this guy trains a Jiu-Jitsu and and that's it it's a fantastic event I can't wait back to you guys and I did it and I was like what the [ __ ] am I doing like who let me do this right like this is ridiculous like the postf fight interviews no no advice no one told me how to do it nothing just sent me in there fight was over I had to come up with the questions I would ask him it was very bizarre was very bizarre very very very strange gig and I did it for about two years and it was like all little puddle upup Hopper planes flying into weird casinos in the South that was the only places where they allowed them to have it right and uh I quit it was just too much which just too weird and so I stopped for a couple years then the UFC got purchased by zua which is when Dana came into it okay fatita brothers and uh I just just became a fan and I was hanging out with Dana and Dana and I became friends and we would go to dinner and I would just start saying why don't you have this guy fight that guy like what about this you ever see this guy fight in Japan like do you know about this guy do you know about that and I just started talking to him about all this different [ __ ] he's like do you want to do commentary I was like man I just I don't want to work I just want to come and drink yeah see fights and have a good time and back then no one was watching it either it's like it was like it wasn't like someone was asking me to do the UFC today right it was like the UFC then was like doing porn like that's literally what it was like it's like you want to [ __ ] on film like I don't know how much money is involved you know there going to be out okay you'd have to be like you know to be involved in it was like detrimental for your career when I was on news radio I was doing the uufc really yeah they were flying me to these weird places like I started in '97 so yeah the news radio started in 94 so 94 95 so it was like 2 three years in
that I was uh doing that and they were like what the [ __ ] are you doing like they were what you doing on your weekend they were thinking it was bad for my career cuz like filming would be over on Friday you know we'd be done filming I'd get on a [ __ ] plane I'd fly to Alabama and watch dudes get punted in the head right everyone else you work with like in Santa Barbara for the weekend yeah exactly they were do [ __ ] plays you're in Montgomery at the Civic Center they'd go to some musical that nobody really enjoyed like you had to pretend that everybody enjoyed and I would come back and talk about you know some crazy event where somebody got their teeth kicked into the third row it was uh it was very strange I got to I got to do the Toyota Pro celebrity race with Cain Velasquez right he's great Kane Kane is like a gentle giant right swee of a guy total sweetheart total teddy bear but he could rip your house down like he is like he's like visually to me he's like Wreck It Ralph like he could just come in and take out an interstate and I don't know what it is about like being around them but the first couple days I was like Hey man nice to see you don't kill me by like the end of the second week I was like what's up you want to just go you want to just take care of this real I don't know why I started talking crap I just was talking crap to Kan constantly and there was one time I don't I don't know if he actually touched me or he just got real close and I dude I shut down I was like oh God I just went I just went sort of Limp like he was going to grab your neck or something I don't know why I did that and every time I see him now I'll still like what's up man did you see the fight this weekend no was it just nuts it was rough yeah he got beat up he got beat up and then he got strangled so watching a guy like Kane uh who has been except for one fight he got knocked out by Junior do Santos in the first round the one fight but he went into that fight with a torn knee ligament like he was pretty busted up going into that fight and um he got caught with a huge punch from a real devastating knockout puncher Juni do Santos so that fight that loss was uh a tough loss but there was a lot of reasons behind it it kind of made sense then he came back and dominated Junior
in the rematch and you know he's like in my opinion he's like one of the alltime alltime greates but to see him fight Fabricio Verdun Fabricio Verdun was [ __ ] him up up standing and Fabricio is like one of the best Jiu-Jitsu artists ever to compete in MMA multiple time world champion and uh Kane was actually forced into taking Fabricio down and he took Fabricio to the ground Fabricio caught him in a guillotine and tapped him out no way it was crazy well they fought in Mexico City right I and I saw Keane was down there training for for I I don't know why I mean it seemed like it was in the middle of nowhere in Mexico training well he was only there for two weeks really and yeah somebody um I I don't know where it was but somebody put it up on my message board that there's some sort of a formula of like altitude like that if you if you compete at altitude you have to be there for x amount of days depending upon how high the altitude is there's x amount of days you have to be there in order to acclimate and for Mexico City it's like 26 days oh wow and Kane only got there two weeks before so he had not acclimated at all and he just wasn't ready yet sure and the the altitude is ruthless 75 to 7,800 fet above sea level and people don't know like I I've gotten altitude sickness on Top Gear before it's it's ridiculous Manan you just can't your body just doesn't know how to function it's like wearing the tightest belt on every part of your body can't it's just weird what it's real bad did you see I put a picture on Instagram I don't know if you saw it but there's an Instagram picture that I put up that I took while we were Landing this is real that's how bad the pollution is oh and that's Mexico City right that is Mexico City that's Landing in Mexico you see it on the big screen up there I mean I was like holy [ __ ] [ __ ] that is and as soon as I got down there I could smell it you smell it in the air and you get a headache like right away cuz there's no [ __ ] air cuz you're at 7,500 ft above sea level and whatever air that you have is filled with car exhausts and traffic lights are a joke no one stopping at it's not even a suggestion it's just like they they for it's a government gig Street yeah oh pretty red right through nobody was paying attention everything's gridlock when you
hit Rush Hour everything's gridlock there's no non- gridlock you know sometimes you get La gridlock some selfish [ __ ] decides that even though the light is turned red he's still going to make that left turn right and he gets blocked and people honk and he's like just looking ahead like he doesn't notice you in Mexico that's just what they do right there's just too many people and it's not even their fault it's just it's just out of control there too many people I saw people pull out into intersection and it's like a kamakazi maneuver the traffic's going and they just go let's go they just pull out and every like you have to slam on the brakes they just decide no one's going to let you in right you just have to make you just have to make your way just go for it and so like traffic was going and this guy's just like creeping in front of car and you see people hitting the brakes then he would recognize he had a little bit of a an opening so he gun it gun it a car length the head and like [ __ ] and watching it was giving me a headache I was like this is crazy this is a crazy way to live there's like 40 million people or something like that it's much larger than La much larger much larger 2,000 ft above Denver and polluted as [ __ ] it's Madness how's the food great the people are great too that's the interesting thing they're very very nice they're super super friendly like it they're just easygoing even though they're in this giant ass City it's not like a New York thing right like sometimes in New York I love New York I love the vibe of it I love the fact there's so many great restaurants and so much stuff to do it's like such a crazy pack packet of energy but the abrasive nature of some of the people really gets to me like totally like the TSA in New York you go to Kennedy Airport it's like some of the rudest [ __ ] people I've ever met at at a at an airport there or just in the world they just happen to be at the airport it's like it's it's just that attitude I think it's because there's so many human beings jammed into this place that people like they lose and appre appreciation for each other yeah which you know if you grew up in a small town or if you have ever been to a small town the one thing that people love is that people look at you they say
hi when you walk down the street W they kind of appreciate you cuz there's not we're not overwhelming each other I think in cities like New York there's just too many goddamn people smooshed in next to each other and in La too that's why everybody gets so angry on the road sure we're we're overwhelm each other and we're not valuable there's too many of us LA to me is just New York with with more cars that people can drive versus taxis but it when you're in New York I'm always astounded that it seems like everyone is simultaneously upset that they're there but they will tell you it is the greatest city in the world but they're all like this place sucks really yeah but I love it I'd never leave well the dumbest [ __ ] people in the world are the ones that are they they act like they're something special cuz they're from New York sure like Hey listen I'm from New York I could handle myself you know like like well you know how to fight cuz you're from a spot right like really is that what you're telling me you wrode you rode a a small bus hooked to other buses they called a Subway so suddenly I'm from New York so I can handle myself you know how it is right I'm from New York no I don't know I don't know what you're saying so just I thought we were trying to rent a rental car it's really that doesn't apply here okay your toughness and growing up in New York it's like they're from N I was in N I did my time overseas in the Bronx I'm in New York I live in a city I'm in that big City Queens you're in a box you know we we were looking at real estate the other day just as a goof and there was a uh a tiny ass shitty little apartment on the West Side uh and it was $500,000 and I was like this is offensive right it's one bedroom shitty little apartment didn't even say how many square feet it was cuz it looked like it was less than a th000 square feet and it's a half of a million dollars like think about how many years it would take the average person of working every [ __ ] day all day long 8 hours a day plus commuting right and then taxes taken out of it to scrape up enough money to buy this [ __ ] bag of a house it's basically impossible it's basically impos the weird thing is like we're when we were shooting loss and transmission there was two different
producers that bought houses in Atlanta where we live not to live there but to buy them and then rent them out because they can at least make a little money and grow some equity in something there because out here like if people don't know dude the dumpiest house you can find out here is still like a million like it's unless you want to live in Palmdale and smoke crack every day which if you're watching from Palmdale and you smoke crack I'm not singling you out I'm just making a suggestion I have a friend who just moved to Palmdale oh gosh is it afan she has four dogs she has four pitbulls and she needed to live in place space no she needed a place that accepted her dogs and that wasn't very much money she doesn't make a lot of money she moved to Palmdale dude it's awful it's so far out there and it's so it's like if you if they said you can move to the surface of the Sun that's what living in Palmdale is like it's the hottest place on Earth and Afroman is from there it was Afroman Because I Got High that oh that guy yeah I feel like you should know that song that guy is that the guy who beat up some woman on stage oh no woman oh gosh I'm sorry yeah right he like he [ __ ] cracked some woman on stage he was on stage and she came up behind him and he he punched her in the face and dropped her did you ever see that I didn't I'm not I don't want to make it sound like I'm a fan of Afroman I just know that he's from Palmdale we filmed almost every car scene from Fear Factor in Palmdale at like Willow Springs or somewhere like that or no we closed down some side roads there's some side roads out in the desert there nothing but Joshua trees and coyotes and [ __ ] and and we had these giant you know 10 Mile stretches of road that they allow us to close down nobody gives a [ __ ] out there just go for it yeah this is the video oh gosh this is the second video you're showing me second video of a chick getting punched in the face not what I thought need to see it everyone says you're so sweet gentle I try to be nice man just [ __ ] goes wrong sometimes but yeah some woman got behind him and she was like just drunk and being silly at a show and just thought it was cute to climb on stage with him and he punched her in the face and knocked her out cold she fell back and cracked her head I mean it was
[ __ ] up I I was on stage in uh in New Hampshire at a NASCAR race once and I was telling people like all right thanks for coming out to the show like have a great night and all of a sudden I turned and there was a woman right here and I'm not saying like I've never had a stalk or anything like that thank goodness but like I don't know if you've ever had people precariously I was standing on like an 8ft tall platform yes I don't know where she came from and no one saw her and then she was just there in my face and a little bit drunk and definitely from New Hampshire I don't know if you've had those moments it's a real fight ORF flight moment where you're like why are you why are you right here in my face and you're drunk and she knew my name and then you're like I'm just going to go this feels weird it's weird that someone would not think that you would freak out by sneaking behind you like that I also have glasses in real limited peripheral so it's not like you can sneak up on me in the room that we're in my wife will sometimes stare at me in the car to see how long it takes me to notice and then she'll give up because I'm not going to see you over there I can't I'm not going to notice a tough game with me yeah there's a lot of weirdos out there that's the thing is you never know when you hear about that guy that shot dime Daryl dime bag on stage you know like you never know there's you might be in the wrong place the wrong time so I I can understand that he'd be freaked out if this woman was on stage but a cursory glance at her would let you understand oh there's no reason to give this woman a concussion she's just a crazy drunk lady you know you don't don't need to [ __ ] Molly [ __ ] her in the face Jesus Christ pardon me yeah I bet they had security there too like you could have could have probably had another another plan of action but well if they did have security she would have never uh gotten on stage ah Fair Point what if the security got high because they were listening to a song Because I Got High like that song is basically like I was going to do all of the things I need to do like pay the rent right pay the bills I was going to do some stuff and then he got high maybe he got high maybe security got high I don't know can anything could have happened sounds
really speculation feels like we're Monday Morning Quarterback riff that's what happens when security is on stage this fan gets nailed tackle oh Jesus Christ all right let's give God oh my God they just threw that guy in the crowd Riff Raff the white rapper let's give him some credit for making it on World Star Hip Hop is he white he is what oh you've not seen RI Raff my God that is that a woman that tackles that Taps him no I think it's a f some Shaggy let's show that again because that's the the power double that this dude lands is quite impressive watch the guy Taps him look at this boom Oh gosh that guy probably died look how he just throws him in the crowd too like he's trash like don't they have any liability whatsoever for [ __ ] a 300 lb giant human being tackling you like that so riff Ral I've I've never heard of this fellow before but he he has dread LS is he related to the woman from Spokane that was the head of the NAACP perhaps how crazy is that did you ever see the movie soulman it was out in the 80s you know what I love about this uh super Progressive people are starting to take her side the tide has turned and they're starting to say that race is just a social construct and I've been reading all these articles about how she ran circles around Matt laau on the Today's Show all these like super Progressive leftwing people who are pro transgender are now starting to accept transracial they're not [ __ ] around I never saw that coming she is running with it she's running with it I love it and one of the things that she said is I identify as black so she's been lying about her dad like this a guy she hangs out she calls him her dad he's a black guy she pretend it's a real d right her parents are from Montana or they're white as [ __ ] yeah they're white as [ __ ] but she has that's what she checked on her college application right well what's amazing about her white she went to Howard University and sued Howard University because sued for them for discrimination because she was white so she in the lawsuit she's saying that she's white she's like well then I identified as white but I don't I identify as black now wow we live in a crazy time Donald
Trump's going to be president no one's black no one's white you're whatever the [ __ ] you want to be you can be anything you want we live in fantasy land America he paid $50 to cheer for him at president no really is that true just came out today that he offered actors $50 a cheer from him hey you can't say he's not a businessman there's a video of him pulling his hair back to reveal that he has real hair like right here no way my message board look at that you could see I love that your fans are that interactive dude they're on the ball good for you so someone must have challenged him on his hair and he so he pulls his hair back look see he's got [ __ ] hair he just likes he just he basically just moved his bangs which start at his shoulder blades show but he showed his look he showed his hairline he does have hair he just has a wacky [ __ ] thing with hair like a Don King thing going on that's [ __ ] hair man okay that's weird there's a lot of hairspray in there and it's obviously thinning but you know there's nothing wrong for the record there's nothing wrong with losing your hair look at you're talking to bald guy it looks great on you thank you very much I've always said if I lose it I want to look like a clown I might go like just diet but I think when you get to be like a guy like a Don King or a guy like a Donald Trump that's sort of his look like they commit to that and then they start thinking that that's their lucky look right that you kind of have to have your hair sticking straight up in the air or nobody's going to know it's Don King like if Don King all a sudden had cornrow everybody's like get the [ __ ] out of here man you can't have cornrow Don King you're Don King your [ __ ] supposed to stick shight up in the air like a troll doll I interviewed him recently oh it was amazing I did it for the UFC it was [ __ ] amazing that dude's seen some stuff he doesn't let you talk first of all he doesn't answer any questions you ask him a question the the the pontification upon the universal connection that we all share like most of like I would ask him a question and he would bring it to women's rights it would go to like he's like Wow Let's this go to not yeah it was like women's rights and gay writes and and uh it was really strange it was very strange it
was like he just talks and then he changes subjects in mids sentence and keeps going and going and going so like you'll ask him a question and you sit there for 10 minutes like and I said I could imagine being a [ __ ] fighter who has some issues with my contract to come to your office and I probably have a hard time talking already right I mean not not everybody's as eloquent as that [ __ ] guy you sit in his office you know maybe you're a regular dude who just doesn't know how to phrase [ __ ] that good and you sit in his office you ask him a question he goes on this [ __ ] 10-minute di tribe about you know Rosa Parks and women's rights and you know minorities and the the white man and it just keeps going he just keeps going on and on and on and I was like you would you would confuse the [ __ ] out of people and I brought it up to him like I kind of called him on it I was like you're baffling you're a baffling speaker it was weird though just knowing that first of all you across a guy from a guy who killed a couple people yeah one of them stomped a guy to death for a gambling debt and uh one of them I think he got off on the other one he did some time for like one of them was like manslaughter and the other one was like justifiable homicide or something like that yeah that's that's the real stuff Cleveland right isn't he from Cleveland Ohio in the [ __ ] house yeah Don King is but but an interesting guy nonetheless fascinating dude to talk to covered in diamonds by the way covered yeah diamond star of David and cross covering both sides just in case just in casee and uh he told me that late diamonds are girl's best friend that's why he wears diamonds diamonds on his Rings diamonds on his chains like do you find yourself when you're on tour a lot of times when you make it back to a hotel room late on a Saturday night that lockup is the only show on television that show's great it lock Up's one of those shows that when I travel especially going to NASCAR races I don't know why they're always on Saturday night and I feel like what if like what if these dudes were like one uh wrong on the inter state away from just being like a normal person and then just snapped and now I'm watching them in a federal pen like those two okay so
the two dudes that got out you're hearing about that the two dudes escaped from New York I I learned late yesterday that the reason that chick helped him was cuz they told her they were going to kill her husband really she wanted her husband dead so that's why she was helping them get out cuz they said they would go kill her husband W and then my next thought is well were they hooking up with her because I I would assume they have to there's got to be some sort of weird love triangle right well apparently the younger guy the word is he had a giant hog how does that come out for the record well everyone's going to want to know do you look at the the girl she's quite the ugly duckling and uh you know you figure well she's inside the prison she probably gets to talking to these guys probably lonely you know they make friends slowly but surely the guy works his way in shows her his giant hog suddenly she wants her husband dead let me ask you a question just his two guys talking okay you ever heard hey there's prison break and your first thought is I wonder how big this guy is downstairs never right well when a woman's involved though the woman helped him get out you're like well what did he have to offer he had [ __ ] giant snake maybe he was a great dancer May knew a lot about poetry yeah and you look at her and she's just sad and unkempt and neglected all the above just her whole body is just a tragedy you know feel like John May wrote Your Body Is a Wonderland about about her it is kind of a Wonderland to wonder how the heart keeps beating she doesn't climb to the top of the [ __ ] Tower where they shoot prisoners and just jump off face first into the basketball court yeah what keeps you going honey well I was hoping this guy shoot my husband and give me some giant dick well it's amazing that they haven't caught them yet right and that they're still out there what are those guys doing probably they're learning French and walking into Canada you think so yeah that's what I would do if I was in Upstate New York I would think the best way like Canada if you go to Quebec um they're they're very divorced from American culture in a lot of ways you in a strange way like Toronto's not like Toronto like we understand that their mayor's a crackhead they know all about
our presidents you know like we we like when I go to Toronto it seems like I'm in America the people are nicer you know it's very similar to America but Montreal is not Montreal is a very International feeling City and the outside of Montreal like Quebec like that whole area the french- speaking area they have completely different Stars they have singers that you've never heard of that are huge that play stadiums they have comedians that a lot of them would steal like English jokes and they would translate them into into French and they would go on tour throughout the french-speaking uh areas and and do their their comedy routines and they have like a whole different world they speak French they like a lot of them exclusively speak French in a lot of the areas like you have to have French uh on the signs of the buildings like you know when you go to Montreal like everything's in French like even Kentucky Fried Chicken they don't have KFC it's PFC it's pulle Fried Chicken you know it's p is a chicken fried Chi not do well there no well you'd learn French you know it's they're lovely people I mean I guess if I had broken out of prison yeah I would think that that would be the move though you you go up there you learn French and uhen on tape but you get sick of it do you think they have Rosetta Stone when you've escaped from prison I bet you could learn in prison and I bet if the guy was learning French they would say this [ __ ] is probably learning so he wants to escape to Quebec he's talking to his new girlfriend who hates her husband he's like hey why don't you Rosetta Stone me some French me and Tommy we get out yeah take care your husband little Walkman or something yeah we'll meet you in in frenchspeaking Canada how much could you really learn from one of those Rosetta Stone things though I mean to to really learn a language it seems like it's a long process I don't think it does seem that way do you know anything do you know speak anything I I know a tiny bit of Spanish took two years do anos I took two years of Italian I don't know a word of it anymore not it's a that's a nice language though yeah I just don't understand it at all I didn't pay attention I have enough trouble with this language that we're speaking really
enough enough hurdles there speaking English um the TR we I would be a Miss if I uh talk to you and didn't talk about the Jeremy Clarkson tragedy oh sure because uh the real Top Gear original Top Gear rather um in England which was uh Jeremy Clarkson Richard May and um James James May and Richard Hamill ham Hamond Hammond they call him the hamster sweet dude hilarious folks they're they're nice work together and that's a tough act to follow right I mean it's a long running show they've been on for decades the most popular international show I think isn't it yeah and and they said it was the most viewed show in the world um when you looked at like a CBS Sunday Morning did an awesome kind of no it was 60 minutes I'm sorry 60 Minutes was talking about it based on downloads both legal and illegal and then how many shows how many countries the show airs in like are Top Gear us airs in like 100 countries theirs was in like 170 yeah um so yeah it's a big hug and you kind of hinted to it before about like you know it's a big act to follow we knew when we got ours that we couldn't pretend to be the three of those we were never going to do that we're going to have to be our three guys um and we knew that there's like there's this like kind of core group we call them UK Fanboys and they got really upset that we were doing an American version because they felt like they were the only ones that knew about the UK show not realizing how many people around the world saw it they felt like I've got this special like unicorn no one knows about I'm super awesome Well turns out we were just taking the the kind of foundation of it and it's three people in cars right so we're going to go do our own thing we we started with some of the same like kind of fundamental ideas did everything different we didn't like our producers would come up with crazy things for us to do but we didn't know about them like we just went and they wanted to watch us squirm and right go have fun but what's happening now is they announced uh today I think Chris is it Chris Evans is that the guy's name who I guess is like a a morning host or either a show or DJ or something uh popular guy is going to be the new host of Top Gear UK which they will relaunch and kind of re I'm not
saying they'll reformat I assume he's going to have two people with him but sort of the rebirth so James May is not going to be on anymore correct Richard Hammond's not going to be on anymore correct whoa I think the two of them said we will stand with Clarkson this is our group this is what Top Gear is to us wow so when everything went down um and I've never met Clarkson I've only met Hammond and he and I Pal's really great guy uh I think it's one of those things to where he he had gotten in so much trouble before over the things he had said which is also like it's weird because that's the same reason people watch him yeah you know it's like when comedians get in trouble for being funny you're like but that's what you wanted so I'm not making any kind of excuse for that but I think it's a real bummer what happened and you know everybody has bad days but when he flipped out he flipped out on this producer who was a great guy I've met him before and what happened uh apparently they had had like a long day and there was some sort of dispute excuse me about dinner or whether something should be cold there was cold cuts instead of like a hot steak or something I wasn't there and no one talks about it in our like group everyone's very sens cuz I didn't know whether overnight that would screw up our show because the worldwide brand is it's very important to to everybody that's a part of it and so I think I think he just had a real bad evening and he took it out on somebody and that cost him his job and so did he beat the guy up is that what he did I think so I think he punched him I don't know if he beat him up that just doesn't seem like when you watch that show and you watch that guy he's like this funloving hilarious dude I just have a hard time seeing him beating somebody up yeah I don't I don't know I mean I just read the same stuff everybody else did that there was some sort of verbal altercation and then a physical altercation I don't know what that means I know it's a bummer for everybody that was involved because it's certainly not something that I mean he obviously was very upset and ashamed that happened as was a producer everybody else it just was one of those things that happen
sometimes and you realize it sucks for every single person involved so why did they fire him I think because of all the things he had been in trouble for for before that yeah but are they [ __ ] do they not understand what's going on I mean there's a reason why the show is popular and it's because that guy is a very unique and bizarre character right that is the main reason that show is popular is Jeremy Clarkson I mean Richard Hammond is great and James May is great but on their own they're starving to death let's be honest it's a it's a it's an ens I'm rude it's it's a it's a group it is an ensemble but Jeremy Clarkson is the funny one and and he's like the heart and soul like he he wrote a ton of the different you know because he he from the journalist side you know writes so much about the stuff that they do and the Porsche people hate him there's a lot of people sh from the manufacturers that don't like him which is funny because sometimes people wouldn't want to loan Us cars because things that they had done well the Chrysler like remember they had those three cars they drove across America Chrysler didn't want to give them a challenger so they bought one they bought my friend was a producer that had to pay for it and the show paid him back and then so yeah like that's hilarious had things like that that would happen well Richard Hammer was actually very funny I'm just [ __ ] around saying that they would both starve to death they're good together but they're better with him like as a threesome so are they going to try to launch a new show the three of them together that what I heard they have to yeah the name is not important right and so right now they're doing a they would go and do these kind of live show events theyve never done one here they wanted to do one with us and them kind of a combo thing and then we never never nobody really moved on it but they were in cuz Ken Block was helping them out in South Africa this week they did like six shows and they're calling it like uh Clarkson ham and may live or something because they can't use the name oh that's hilarious Top Gear live right so I I hope they'll keep doing something fun together they're funny guys yeah they're great together Hammond's got a sweet Mustang have you seen his Mustang got some he's got some
killer toys he's a helicopter guy too he lives in like a castle I'm sure how much money did they make off that show I think they did I think they did pretty well maybe they got just a hair more than we have says the guy with two other jobs uh yeah they they he lives way out far somewhere which I think is also why he has a helicopter but haymon's got a bunch of kids shows that he produces really yeah so he's got like kind of his other thing um and I don't I don't know what may does the rest of the time when they're not they he makes YouTube videos making a lot of YouTube videos about being unemployed in cooking which are funny but playing the recorder yeah like a really talented musician apparently but those guys it's we got to do when they were launching our show over there we got to go to this like uh British um kind of Television thing where they put us up and and they had this party like Top Gear USA so they tried to make the most American themed evening they could so there's glass Coke bottles on every table uh and Jack Daniels and then the girls they had girls in like Daisy Dukes with cowboy boots and American flag bandanas on and they had like a holster with Jack Daniels and shot glasses that's hilarious that was that was a fun time that was a fun time Tanner I think was single at the time and I'm a pretty good wingman cuz my wife loves me so I can just be an idiot publicly and not about it so the whole time I was like you guys know that's that's Tanner F over there you know he's got a couple couple gold medals from X Games I don't know if they have X Games medal yeah can't give medals well unless the olymp it's like a Casio G-Shock that they dipped in gold chrome that's not true I don't I don't know that for sure but I have experience in taking over a show that was a beloved show because I took over the man show for a couple years Doug Stan hope and it we got tortured like right out rightly so in a lot of ways it was kind of a disaster the show wasn't what we wanted it to be at all fun fun we got [ __ ] over because we came in under false pretenses they kind of told us that they were going to make this wild show you know have nudity we'll blur it out swear we'll beep it out we want to get sued we're crazy and then right when we started doing it Janet Jackson pulled her nipple out
Super Bowl old JT yeah yeah slip the plan is that amazing that that generated that still to this day just hurts my brain that everybody got so upset that they saw a nipple on television right I quite enjoyed the show but just doesn't make any sense like if it was a man's nipple no one would care but it's Janet Jackson's nipple she's a woman like it's still just a nipple Steven Tyler showed his nipple on that probably every time they did a halftime show exactly what's the big deal yeah I mean is it because it's a female it's a sexual thing poor Justin Timberlake had to say like I didn't even know that was going to happen y'all I was like he pulled it off he pulled the nipple he pulled the clothes out he knew what the [ __ ] is going on but how weird is it that a nipple is like for a woman it's like super taboo for a dude is nothing no problem yeah isn't that strange well Ari uh my friend Ari shafir lives in New York City uh during the summertime and he takes his shirt off every day of the week he just walks down the street with his shirt off cuz they have laws in New York you're allowed to do that but because they have laws like that they have they can't sexually discriminate so women are allowed to take their shirts off too so women could walk down the street topless and occasionally they do and there's like this naked cowgirl you know they have that Naked Cowboy yeah I was him for Halloween one year were you really I was it was a tough it was a tough costume it was cold that year oh we're built slightly differently handsome me and the Naked Cowboy wellb built fell he's a strong businessman too like he makes a lot of money off that [ __ ] doing he's suing this woman cuz she was doing the exact same act she was as the naked cowgir but she's topless there he is the naked cowgir good for her oh this is a different one I think I think there's more than one naked cowo good for her but she has to have pasties on is that the deal because in uh Manhattan like you don't I'm pretty sure the law is that a woman can walk down the street naked well or with her top out rather you can't have your vagina out but you could have your nipples out because men can just what a weird we were [ __ ] so strange a great law though good for them
you know there's some equality yeah topless all around I say go for it why not it's just nipples even if it was a the the whole idea of clothes is just Preposterous if you don't want to wear them I don't give a [ __ ] as long as you don't rub your dick on anybody or get weird who cares you know Suns out guns out yeah if you're [ __ ] your kid freaks out you got to explain to them you get some talking to that little guy yeah say hey look buddy this is uh some people are freaks they like weird [ __ ] they want you to look at their dick okay you don't have to look at it they're not going to force you sometimes your parents are going to take you to the worst Raggedy Ann and Andy parade you'll ever see and you need to not shout that afterwards exactly just checks and balances sometimes [ __ ] gets weird also Bigfoot's not real and that lady's not black she's white but she identifies as black she's just wearing a lot of that used to be a man he used to be a man he won the de cathlon in the Olympics and he had children and then he decided he was a woman so now we have to call him Caitlyn hey Smoke them if you got them exactly right exactly it's an interesting thing when you have to when when you have to make sure everybody knows look everybody's got a right to be happy but everybody does not have a right to be completely out of their mind crazy and somewhere we will find that line I I say you do have a right to be completely out of your mind crazy as long as it doesn't interfere with someone else's happiness like say if you're a neighbor and you're completely out of your mind crazy and you're like sticking fireworks up your ass and doing cartwheels but you live in a dry area and you could potentially start fires right then this is all logical right fantastic analogy right then you your your craziness is interfering with people's health and safety so uh I would say that guy no that guy can't he can't be that crazy that's too crazy I like that the guy with fireworks up his butt totally cool listen is this a is this a burn sensitive area not cool pal this is California we have a drought going on right now man you know what I know I found out this is really interesting they're paying people in California to take out their lawns and put in what they call Hardscape they give you money
and you put like rocks and cactuses and [ __ ] and and grass you can vacuum yeah I've seen that too plastic Turf I drove down the street the other day and there was a sign up from for a company that does I are they calling it Hardscape is that what they're calling it I you get like tax rebates and whatnot for it too I think they actually give you money oh yeah I think that they find out about that because uh me and you're interested you think about it no You' had enough of grass and bushes well you know what I [ __ ] passed by uh is it Pepperdine whatever the ones in Malibu pepp that is a godamn enormous lawn that you're watering for Jesus it's a big religious uh College I've rolled down that hill before have you it's fun for Top Gear no I think it was just for fun with my family oh no I was shooting a RV commercial oh still did it for a lot of [ __ ] water it's used on that God nice grass if they're listening Kudos you cannot be taxed you cannot be taxed uh not being taxed on the rebate which can range as much as $3,000 whoa um so you get a free three grand no I think you're saying they just won't tax you on the three grand is that what you then it's only like no because you get a rebat you get a rebate you get money oh good and then you can't be taxed on the money I think is what you're saying right is that what you're saying rebates received by homeowners for replacing the Lawns with drought tolerant Landscaping will not be counted as income so it doesn't say exactly how much it probably is depending on how much land you have in size and all that stuff that makes sense but the the thing that's [ __ ] is golf courses I mean that that is I get that you like to play golf I like to play pool I understand I get I get addictions but your addiction is using up a lot of [ __ ] water and apparently in some Middle Eastern countries they play a version of golf on oiled sand really they have sand and they put some sort of oil on the sand and the way the ball reacts is very similar to the way a ball would react on grass see if you could find that cuz someone was just explaining that to me the other day I never bothered looking it up I just said oh that sounds like a great idea well except a lot of those [ __ ] like those divots those big
chunks of grass that go flying through the air and they then what yeah then what are you going to do this is this it yeah okay this is disgusting be a tough place to wear a lot of white colors Where What Where do golf blue stones what does that say grassland greens used motor oil to make putting possible huh whoa there's now I've been to a lot of um tracks that will use uh old motor oil from all the tractors and stuff to put it on top of gravel to basically like keep dusted down so it's like that idea magnified I guess yeah I think that just they're putting right is that what they're doing it's tough gig tough gig right there but I'm not that good at golf I've never played it really yeah never the best part golf carts yes that's really like my dad when he would go play golf I would always go with him as a kid because I was like yeah can I drive the golf cart and then when there's a water like water hole then I would take his old ball finder and just swim with a little stick and try try to get as many balls as I could I have a friend of mine who has a ranch uh in California and uh he has golf courts he just drives golf carts around his Ranch he lets his little kids take the golf cart so you one his daughter was like 10 she was driving us around this [ __ ] golf cart around Ranch great where the town I live in you can have golf carts really yeah oh you must have live in a little tiny place I do that's cool I grew up in this town called Peach Tree City in Georgia it's south of Atlanta it's built on five golf courses and the idea was that you could get to any of these little like miniature neighborhoods on a golf cart so there's 100 miles a golf cart path there so if we're at my house and you want to go to dinner like we can just get on the golf cart wow it's a little bit like the movie The Truman Show like you definitely feel like there's a bubble over it but it's also a golf cart so it's really fun that's kind of cool huh and you can soup them up I built a golf cart on my new show but it's a 69 Subaru 360 van a micro car and I built it on a golf cart chassis so it's got 20 horsepower single cylinder engine the thing about golf golf uh courses is pesticides and uh I know a dude who got bone cancer and a lot of people in his
neighborhood got bone cancer because the water from the pesticides water got contaminated in the wells and uh like a lot of people in his neighborhood all got cancer oh that's that's not fun at all yeah pesticides are there just the term pesticide pest like it's just poison just call it what the [ __ ] it is why are you calling it pesticides you're poisoning bugs bugs are tough I mean roaches are going to be here after the [ __ ] nuclear bombs go off off and you're killing them with some chemicals and you leave that [ __ ] in the grass and it gets through the ground and seeps into the water and then people drink the water and they get sick as [ __ ] right pesticides are just that's a creepy thing that that Loop seems pretty obvious to us doesn't it pretty goddamn obvious and yet we just go but the people that live in the golf course or near the golf course they didn't even think about it they just let it seep into the well water well cuz it looks real pretty yeah that's the only way to keep it pretty you got to you got to keep killing bugs just keep what after right just keep poisoning them spraying them it's it's brutal yeah um one of the pesticides I was listen in this Radio Lab podcast um the way they um figured out how to use uh poison gas in the concentration camps they use zyon b and zycon a was originally developed as a pesticide and so they they use this gas zeyon a had a particular Aroma to it to alert anyone that was near it or handle that it was very dangerous so the Nazis re-engineered zeyon a and turned it into zycon B and took out the smell and started using it as gas in the concentration camps designed Zine a by a Jew not only that a Jew who was one of the first guys to figure or the guy who figured out how to pull nitrogen out of the air like Mo like a big majority of the particles in the air apparently are nitrogen and nitrogen is very difficult to get you know for fertilizer and stuff like that it's very difficult to acquire but necessary in order to grow plants and so this guy fig Hopper Fritz Hopper figured out how to pull it out of the air and uh use it for fertilizer and apparently that method that he developed in 19 [ __ ] 10 or some [ __ ] like that
during World War I that method is still being used today and like half of the food that people eat in the world is fertilized from this Hopper method same guy who developed zeyon b or zeyon a at least I feel like if they ever need to like go in front of Congress and talk about the legalization of marijuana I think we could take a video clip of that last 45 seconds of you telling me that story and then like people would be like well if he can remember all that and he smokes weed we should probably just let it go that's CRA that's the kind of podcast that you relax and listen to that's the [ __ ] that I listen to yeah I love that stuff yeah that History Podcast I love those I just I love um fascinating information I love any information that makes me go what the [ __ ] right anything like that you know pot does not [ __ ] with your memory it [ __ ] with your memory about [ __ ] you were just talking about I don't mean like that I just mean that was that's a what you just laid down was brilliant well what's interesting the guy also was the one of the first people that used gas in Warfare and he used this like I think it was a chlorine gas he used it on the uh English and the the Canadians I think it was the English and the Canadians that they used it on but he was being he was he they thought of him the United States was addressing him as a war criminal at the same time they were using his fertilization methods like it's one or the other right like he was a very very complex guy he was a very complex guy like he wasn't a good guy but he wasn't I mean he was like he was brilliant in a lot of ways the Radio Lab podcast where anyone's interested it's called the bad show and it is about um a lot of people that did a lot of really awful things and it's he's just one of the many stories um but I've been on this World War I kick lately sure because of uh Dan Carlin he's got this podcast called hardcore history and um he has this whole world war I series that's going on right now he just put the final I think it's the final episode out it's [ __ ] amazing it's just so crazy that World War I was just such a for me uh a a war that I never really thought about never really looked into it and i' just been really getting into it l because of these podcasts but so
yeah pot doesn't really [ __ ] with your memory I just meant that was what you laid down and the the the um there's a lot of layers to that and I just thought that was I was just sitting here thinking that's really impressive yeah but if you asked me about something about 10 minutes ago what what the [ __ ] were we talking was I or just 10 seconds ago what was I just talking about I remember whatever I feel like I'm tur into my dad and I just can't remember things really yeah like my dad will will like the my friend that's a pilot Martin my dad has met Martin I say met because he's introducing himself each time as a new time 30 times and I'm like Dad that's that's Martin nice to meet you yeah the teacher right no he's a pilot he's always been a pilot if your dad ever meets Martin and says good to see you then I'll know my dad's an actor dad an actor yeah you need some [ __ ] Alpha Brain son I got to get you some of this stuff this is this is this is cognitive enhancing supplements really good for memory double blind Placebo tested I wasn't kidding when I said I've really I really enjoyed like watching you on Instagram and the stuff that you're into like I dig because you don't you're very honest about who you are so you don't like there's you don't split hairs about like yeah this stuff is cool I want to learn more about it and you'll ask people like you have genuine interest in feedback and stuff like that that's what I dig cuz there's so many people that are like they they wouldn't want to say like I had a Coca-Cola classic at lunch today because someone's going to tell them there was like corn Ser in there right we're living that kind of like a weird thing but well if you really feel that way I feel like you shouldn't have have the Coca-Cola classic you know just do what you want to do and if you have if there's any repercussions there probably something you shouldn't have done in the first place and you should learn from that I think so many people go through life like trying to project something instead of just being who they are and working on what the negative aspects of whoever they have designed themselves to be instead of working on that they just put up this [ __ ] fake facade that's too labor intensive right I have no desire to do that I have pretend you're someone
who you're not just seems to me like a lot of goddamn effort a lot of work and for what what do you get out of it like look at Charlie Sheen okay that guy's a junkie okay he's a junkie and he loves [ __ ] and everybody knows it and they love him it smell like some [ __ ] secret but it's because he's like hey I like to smoke rocks and uh I I pay girls to suck my dick good night you know and everybody's like I love him he's so refreshing he's honest isn't that amazing that a guy can be on a a a network [ __ ] television show like a squeaky clean CBS show like two Two and a Half Men and do these interviews about doing smoking rocks and and paying girls to leave you don't pay them to have sex with you you pay them to leave and everybody's like yes I love them hash winning # Tiger Blood TIG I mean I saw that all over the the the the internet when when that all went down and he you know look the the the reality of who he was was not pretty I he looks like he's a hundred years old his [ __ ] face is falling off the guy he looks really bad like there's there's some some of the videos that he did like right after he got kicked off that show and he did like these weird podcast Style videos where he's like staring into the camera all people behind him he looked like he's sweaty death right you know just it was coming out of his [ __ ] mind but still people loved the fact that he was being who he really is I think so much of what you see like when you see Tom Cruz jumping on Oprah Winfrey's couch saying how much he's in love I'm in love I'm in love I'm in love and all the women in the audience like yeah over and everybody else is like you're bullshitting me you're bullshitting me but I'm used to being bullshitted so I just deal with it right like The Bachelor you're peeing on my back and tell me it's raining Tom Cruz I'm used to it and I'm going to put up with it but only cuz Top Gun was a great movie exactly so like we're shocked that that girl [ __ ] a bunch of handsome guys that she got drunk with right whoever that girl is good for you young lady I hope you got your rocks off I hope you sucked a lot of delicious dicks and had a gay old time like Flintstone Style Just Flintstone style we'll have a gay old time A Different World back then
you could say gay and it had nothing to do it was totally different yeah the thing that I'm still puzzled by right now is that like I put up a picture on Instagram about like a picture with some friends or whatever and the amount of people that will go out of their way to say nasty stuff to strangers like I'll put a picture up of of friends that I'm hanging with and someone will go after someone in the picture and I'm like what how much does your life suck that you need to go attack a stranger virtually like it's just not it seems to me like internet [ __ ] they they fall into several categories but the most egregious are YouTube and Instagram yeah like Twitter at least my Twitter feed is surprising polite and nice and genuine and kind and friendly I I mean people always talk about the negative people they deal with in the internet I deal with nice people 99.9% of the time it's almost all nice people occasionally a [ __ ] will Snick through the get through the net and find their way into my Twitter feed but then you just block them and then you're done with it yeah but Instagram good luck trying to block those [ __ ] monsters and they all have if you go to their accounts they're all locked right they're like I feel like if you're going to be critical of pictures let me be critical of yours there's a couple times I always think because for me it's not that different from like being in middle school and people like I'm going to this not going to shock you I was a little weird in middle school too like that not much has changed the world I was weird in middle school as well the world's just more accepting us I I'm the exact same person but good for you it's like lunchroom bullying but on this virtual level so I guess what I would stand up for myself then so sometimes I watch people and I don't get a lot anymore but like when when they said I was on Top Gear or when I started being on TV for NASCAR then you would see those people come out of the woodwork and even still like I did these funny videos for NASCAR on NBC with like Dan katrick and and Kevin har All these people and someone will be like you suck you're fat you're stupid and that's fine I'm not I don't mind but I will I would say 95% of the time I at least like to know like if it's something funny then I'll laugh and
just move on but if it's something to where like they they really want to go after you I'll be like okay let me just at least look at your profile and if I can tell they don't know any better you just block them mute them roll on but if I feel like they know better every once in a while I'll just I'll just lean back a tiny bit and this guy one day went after me about something stupid and he told me how stupid I was and fat and ugly and I shouldn't have a job and whatever I looked at his picture his profile on Twitter and it was a picture with him and his daughter like going canoeing and so all I said was hey man I hope no one ever says to your daughter at school what you just said to me cuz I know that'll feel bad for you to hear that and he you would have thought I cut his mother he came after me so hardcore at that how dare you look at my picture and and how dare you try to how dare you make me public right yeah he is public we're all public yeah if you're on the internet you [ __ ] you're public right it's not a thing and I was like I wasn't being mean I was just being honest like hey how about Golden Rule the sucker like don't say mean stuff to people if you don't want them to say it back to you like it's fascinating me dude people have said mean [ __ ] to me and I retweet them that's it just retweet them and like you [ __ ] bully you're an [ __ ] you sick your friends I me no no no no no all I did was retweet what you put out there this is you and I let everyone know this is you this is you this shared you yeah I shared you you know it's not being a bully do I have a bigger platform you of course I do [ __ ] face that's how you know who I am and I don't know who you are that's simple logic it's like you know don't stick your hand in the cage if you don't want to get bit cuz that's what's going to happen I'm going to retweet you and then everyone is going to all these other people that are bored looking for some [ __ ] to [ __ ] on they get home they're tired of taking [ __ ] from their boss their [ __ ] wife is an [ __ ] their kids suck and they're happy to climb up your ass and plant bombs they're happy they give me an earful exactly but I think it's because of the same reasons why people were bullying people in middle school where you don't see nearly as much when you become an adult yeah I
think it's because it's a new thing and I think that this cyber communication is it's untested we have to figure it out we don't know what the [ __ ] we're doing all the normal [ __ ] involved in communication like social cues and knowing like and first of all someone accepting you as a person they want to have a conversation with there's a lot of these people that you're communicating with online that you would never accept as communication Partners in real life right you would meet them they'd be gross you'd be like Mike's a dick and you just like stop talking to him or stop visiting his place of business or or whatever but because they can just get to you without any you don't have to accept them you don't have to choose them you don't have to pick cuz you pick your friends if you're a wise person and you'll have a better life if you do that if you don't pick your friends you just like let anybody in your life you develop a series of [ __ ] incurable disasters over and over and over again that you never really recover from and you live your life based on the momentum of a bunch of [ __ ] who aren't thinking straight then that's a lot of people I have friends like that that live their life like that it's just one [ __ ] disaster after another [ __ ] disaster and if you get caught up in the the hurricane that is their life they'll drag you into the Cyclone you'll get [ __ ] tossed out into the ocean somewhere or you you choose but in the online world you don't get to choose so if you're out there and what they're doing by blocking you they think well I'll just get him and he can't even get me back and then so they they put their little [ __ ] little locked profile on Instagram and that's just guaranteed they're a coward like anybody who has a locked Prof to talk [ __ ] I don't I just block them immediately I don't even think twice I don't I don't respun part if they think like they like there's a writer and NASCAR that blocked me and I was laughing right wrer yeah and and it was just one of those things where for some reason this guy decided the day I showed up he hated me but I laughed cuz I thought that means you thought I wanted to know what you thought but I never wanted to know what you thought cuz I didn't care then and I didn't care now
but the fact that he went to that effort it made me giggle like same thing with if some stranger says you're stupid and then block me like I'm so sorry you must have thought I was going to want to learn more about you after you insulted me what writer could seriously get to know you and not think you're a great guy that's confusing to me ex thank you you're very friendly guy like what why why did he decide that you were a dick great question what was his criticism what did he say what's his name by the way no no there's a find out there's one guy there's just one guy that was a NASCAR writer there can't be too many of those there's a bunch there's a bunch it's a it is a great honestly it's great with crayons napkins and no not not anymore they I think most of them have a brother typewriter I think his brother is that right this one dude would go on like serious and say terrible things about me how much he disliked me but then he was really nice to me at the track and he did a bunch of shows big boy and I'll say this my only big boy like a fat guy he big slobby he was big self lothing cheeseburger eating [ __ ] dead he's dead he died of heart attack yeah poor fat [ __ ] he had a he had a windbreaker that he would take when he went to eat chili dogs waa and that was kind of when I found that out someone I worked with like you know he puts on like a tarp to eat chili dogs I was like I can't I got to leave this guy alone his stuff is a lot worse than anything I got going on in my life if you need a tarp for guy who either really loves his clothes or knows he's a slob and just gave in I think it was a second could be a lot of self-loathing is involved in people being mean to people because they want you to feel the way they feel atast you they want to out like I've had communication with people online they're like really mean to people and then you go and look at their their Twitter feed and like you'll find some like suicidal [ __ ] in there right you know you'll find just miserable yeah there's a lot of that there's a lot of people out there that are hurting I think the the model of life that the majority of people are living in civiliz in in Civilization the Civil civilized world when you're involving offices and jobs that you don't really want and places that you
don't really want to go to but you have to like what you're doing for a living you enjoy you're obviously you have a real passion for cars and you're having a great time that's the ideal life for everybody that's what everybody really wants but there's not a lot of people get to be you there's a small amount of people that get to be you just it's it's like not even a one you know people talk about the 1centers it's not even the 1% that are doing what they want to do do you think Donald Trump is doing what he wants to do that [ __ ] goofy prick wants to be president he wants he wants to be loved hang people to cheer at his presidential announcement right he's just he's just an ego he's just a big ego you know that's not he just got on that path and that's the path that he's using to try to validate himself sure but if you are not living a life that you enjoy you're you're going to have this [ __ ] feeling all the time of God damn it like why can't I be on Top Gear or why can't I do this or why can't I be the [ __ ] UFC commentator or why can't I be the president or why can't I do this and [ __ ] [ __ ] and that's that's a lot of people man it's all day is [ __ ] this guy in his [ __ ] Corvette and [ __ ] that guy in his Ferrari and [ __ ] this guy in his big house and [ __ ] him with his hot wife and [ __ ] him with his [ __ ] kids that don't suck you know that's it's hard man it's true it's it's hard end most of us are the victims of shitty childhoods and people who had kids that didn't know what the [ __ ] they were doing and they Pro it's like it's like imagine getting programmed imagine if you had a prog a computer program right and your computer was programmed by someone like me who doesn't know jack [ __ ] about computers right I know how to type my name in the [ __ ] you know my password and how to get my Gmail but I don't know what's going on underneath the [ __ ] surface of this m thing I don't know so I'm an idiot you know if I had to program my own computer it would be a disaster it would be crashing every five that's a human being is essentially like a gigantic biological computer most comp we know and they're being engineered anded by morons millions and millions of morons they're raising kids and [ __ ] them up and then it's our job as the kids who
got [ __ ] up to sort of decipher what the [ __ ] our parents did wrong to us and try to make it through life with as much happiness as we possibly can till our heart stops beating and that's a complex puzzle not everybody makes it through and figures that [ __ ] thing out that's it and those are the people on Instagram with locked accounts and those are the people that eat chili dogs with windbreakers on and smile to your face and [ __ ] on you on your [ __ ] computer or on serious satellite radio or whatever they do it's just it's hard it's hard to be nice man it's hard it's hard to like yourself forget about liking other people especially liking other people that are successful hosting Top Gear with that handsome Tanner fou and that beautiful Adam Ferrara I mean God damn it I I will say this I think you know like if if if your life sucks if it's not where you want you you know you we've all been there but like I think a lot of people forget sometimes that you can change that like we the the reality that we're flying through this gigantic marble in space it will kind of blow your mind but the fact that you can wake up every day and do what you want to do or not do what you want to do like that's pretty awesome like I these things the fact that we're sitting here this didn't happen by accident you know and I think sometimes people forget that like if there's something out there that you want you're going to have to physically do something about it you know and that's the one thing that when people come after me that I I I love having fun like I I want to make people's day better you know that for me it was like I was either going to try to go back to school and be some sort of teacher like a high school counselor because Coline and stuff like that breaks my heart like I can't believe that happens and it's because those kids didn't have the parents that I did who when they got made fun of the parents weren't there to say you're fine there's nothing wrong with you there's something wrong with those people that they don't have enough confidence in who they are that they're going to take it out on everybody else and so I thought well I'm either going to do that or I'm going to try and get on TV and make as many people smile as I can but it's CU I wanted to do something
about it like that I just sometimes it breaks my heart that there are people that aren't willing to push and say I want something better well I think a lot of people feel trapped in their existence because they sort of live their life on momentum and they got kind of stuck in this trap they're in high school and then they go to college and they student loans and they somehow get out and they don't have a job and they're trying to find a job and then they take whatever job they can get they still have debt and then they have a family and then they have mouths to feed and they feel [ __ ] trapped and super frustrated so they see a guy like you who's putting a 900 horsepower engine in a scon and running around like a [ __ ] crazy person on television and they get mad because you look at you're a sweet guy you have a big smile on your face you look like you're having a great time and for people who are not having a good time one of the most punishing things is watching someone live their life better it's like like we were talking about drifting like how good Tanner is at driving a [ __ ] car when he drifts he's like he's an artist right it's like he's moving like a ballet dancer totally if if I was drifting I'm sure I'd do it way I I don't even know how to drift okay let's let's pretend I did I took some drifting lessons today sure I know how to drive but I guarantee you I i' I've look like a clun clunky [ __ ] in comparison to him I'm not doing as good a job and the drifting or driving or doing anything or bowling or [ __ ] playing darts it's like life there's going to be people that are better at it than you okay and you could either learn what are they doing differently and try to apply that to your own life or you can just [ __ ] on them you know you really a lot easier to [ __ ] on them a lot easier to [ __ ] than to try to learn something it's a lot easier to [ __ ] on them and sometimes you're [ __ ] on people and you're correct you know sometimes you're [ __ ] on people and you know you you realize you are watching some bloated ego or some ridiculous version of you know a pop singer that record companies are trying to stuff down your face and you know it's horseshit right and you and you're you're correct in comparing them to you know whatever F in the blank
Lou Reed or Mick Jagger or whatever the [ __ ] it is that you really appreciate you're correct but a lot of times what you're doing is just bitching yeah a lot of times you're just trying to figure out why you're not happy you know you're seeing someone on television in the movies or just on the cover of a magazine you're you're angry cuz it's not you because for whatever reason you got down on a bad path and you got stuck in this [ __ ] shitty existence that seems to have no exit door and you don't know what to do so you lock up that Instagram account you start [ __ ] away crapping on Strangers [ __ ] youwood [ __ ] you you [ __ ] shitty [ __ ] host you bad person you just farting in your [ __ ] office chair and sniffing your own farts and keeping typing and horrible people out there I don't mean to make you think that I have a ton of those they're just they're you're going to have them oh yeah look the better you do the more you're going to have it's not there's no getting around it but I think it's a temporary stop I really do I think we are about maybe a decade or two away from no one ever having Secrets ever from everyone understanding everyone's motivation being able to read people's minds I I I think we're we're getting closer and closer to each other in some ridiculous way through technology and that's what's going on with these people that you would have never chosen to communicate with reach out and [ __ ] with you you know whether it's through Twitter or Facebook or what have you I think that we're going to come to a point in time where and not too far away from now where we're going to share thoughts in some sort of a weird way it's not going to be as simple as like reading something on Reddit or you know Facebook or Instagram it's going to be way more complex yeah it's going to be we're we're going to have have you seen that thing that they did where they didn't an experiment where they they hooked these people up to some sort of a brain detecting device some electrodes on their head and they they sent words through the internet across the world like instantaneously these people on the other side of the world received these words and knew what the person was saying like brain to brain communication you haven't seen that I
have not and that's crazy it's nuts man I'm I'm not to I don't totally understand how they did it I think they can only do with crude words right now like yes no you know you suck like those kind of thoughts because I think they you identify in your head what that word means and you you commit to that thought and then they can transmit that thought pull pull up that study because I don't understand think it used binary I think it turned that word in a binary code of some kind transmitted that one zero on offs to you and then you know what there was only a couple things they had in it so so they knew what it was because of the binary but was like shower hello or something like that Cher hello or goodbye did they just play the Flight of the Concords song about the binary solo do you think that's what it was and they were like oh my God I love those guys new zealands are my favorite New Zealand's a nice spot they're gentle people it's a sweet spot but they're trying to kim.com is getting [ __ ] over over there yeah stole all his money and they're trying to import him or export him to the United States Deport him rather that's a weird situation huh that mega upload situation because uh he didn't you know he's never even been to America and they're trying to bring him to America for some alleged crimes against these alleged movie companies where people were uh uploading videos right it's very very complex but it's also like I I would like to know like what percentage of that site was being used for that and what percentage of it was being used for people just uploading things I don't totally understand how he was were people paying like a subscription fee or I don't know either I don't know either sometimes when people make a lot of money you're like how did that just happen Okay a company in Barcelona called star laab described transmitting short words like Chow encoded as binary digits between the brains of individuals on different continents both sides both studies use a similar setup the the center of the message wore an EEG electroencephalography cap that captured electrical signals generated by his cour while he thought about moving his hands or feet these signals were then sent over the internet to a computer that translated them into jolts delivered to
a recip recipient's brain using a magnetic coil in Star lab's case the recipient perceived a flash of light in the University of Washington case the magnetic pulse caused an involuntary twitch of the wrist over a touch pad to shoot a rocket into a computer game whoa see we're we're getting to this weird place in technology and the the the ability that we have to manipulate technology the ability we have with to manipulate matter and information that's it's going to make haters online it's going to be it's going to be ridiculous this is a a temporary Pit Stop like an adolescent stage in the communication that we're enjoying and it's it's what it is is if you look back at watch Game of Thrones send a raven you know they take a [ __ ] Raven tie a message to his leg you know that was like the only way you can get a message to somebody that is ridiculous now and I think these ideas of texts and tweets and all that stuff it will be ridiculous in the future because we'll just have something that's far more satisfying far more direct you'll understand sarcasm you're going to understand when someone's [ __ ] you ever get a text from someone you're like are you [ __ ] with me is this guy really mad at me or is he [ __ ] with me right and then you have to say are you [ __ ] with me and they're like totally totally no I'm not serious we're just choking around and sometimes they are serious but they're pretending they're not serious you're going to be able to feel that right right that you're saying that we could wake up one day and I'll be like I'll be thinking we should get coffee and you'll be thinking that sounds great or you'll be I'll show up at your house with a coffee like have conversation and New Tropics neut Tropics neut Tropics that was close they'll help your dad with his memory is that it oh yeah for sure my buddy Parker cigman is doing something with those there's a bunch of different neut Tropics that'll help with memory but uh we've done two double blind Placebo controlled tests at on it uh with the Boston and institude of memory Boston Center for memory and um they showed can you not remember the name of the center um damn it damn it we've got work left to do it's not important to me I'm just I'm just that's for me I if you like
names I don't remember people's names Mike Bob Tim it's not important it's like that's that dude you know like I love that but when something's important to me I've never [ __ ] forget it right like like when I do like UFC commentary and I start talking about past fights I don't have notes those aren't from notes that's all just from my head I just remember fights good for I remember I've probably called like 1,500 professional fights at least wow and I just remember most roll the decks that's in there I don't remember all of them sometimes I have to research or go back but I remember most of them most of the big ones most the important ones yeah but a memory's a weird thing man you know I went to this thing the other day my daughter had this uh dance recital and uh she had been to the same place 2 years before and I'd only been there once and as I was walking there I was like where do I go oh yeah I go over here like all of a sudden my brain went yeah yeah let me pull those files up right you got to go over here and I was like thinking as I was walking I was like how weird is this that my brain is just pulling these files up now because if it wasn't for this recital that I had to go do I would never remember any [ __ ] but for whatever reason your brain can like reach back and find those files and pull them out when necessary for now like it'll keep them for like it's like sort of like tweets someone sends you a direct message on Twitter Twitter cleans those out after like six months or something like you don't need this anymore get trying to save some this wasn't important I'm going to kick this out of here you know I think that's also going to be one of the things that gets resolved with uh technology I think the way we memorize things now is like really crude sure and doesn't work that good I think they're going to we're going to be able to record things that you see directly to some sort of medium like whether it's a SD card or whatever the [ __ ] it is and you're going to be able to share experiences with someone else you're going to be your wife was like hey how was work today you're like well why don't you [ __ ] live it [ __ ] he put He put the card in her little slot yeah and she's like oh my God I just jumped a [ __ ] school bus over the top of a bridge and Flames were
shooting out of it yeah that's what I did at work today yeah works pretty good pretty good day at work honey that's going to be crazy yeah we're going to but you know what really buming me out and what's going to bum me out as an automotive Enthusiast as you are as well is these self-driving cars it's so strange isn't it well it isn't it isn't I think we need it cuz I think a lot of [ __ ] drive like [ __ ] but man that's going to be a bummer when you can't just go for a ride up the [ __ ] Angel's Crest Highway and just just just have fun just go drive and you know roll the window down and feel it and just or is it possible it will make driving for people like us even better because no one 3 minutes 3 minutes okay no one else like if if all the people that suck at driving or in autonomous cars and we're just in the left lane in fast cars won't that be better yeah maybe if you have to like you like every Tanner F guy is allowed to drive whatever the [ __ ] he wants cuz he has such an expertise right because like my 53 Plymouth like you can't there's no way you could make a computer big enough to drive that thing yourself do you think we'll ever get to a point where you're not allowed to drive those cars like there's some weird laws in California like one of the reasons why people like older cars because you don't have to smog them hell yes yeah but look at Mexico City that [ __ ] picture that I showed you today that's what happens when you let people not smog their cars or you have too many cars and we don't want that so like where do you draw the line I mean there's only a certain amount of 1969 chevels that are available in the world right you know and you got to find one of those in order to have a 1969 chel that's it they don't make them anymore tot and if you want to build a new 1969 chel well guess what [ __ ] that's got to get smogged and it's not going to be the same but I think that you know there's good in it and there's bad you know you know it's not it's not clean it seems like if you've been drinking it's a genius idea oh it's perfect right just drop me off at home park yourself in the garage that sounds awesome but imagine if you in that self-driving car and you're safe and sound and some dick wad in a [ __ ] Mustang is going hoonigan in the corner
he's just doing a standing burnout at the stoplight boom he smashes into you you know then you're like well everybody should be in these [ __ ] driverless cars God damn it didn't they crash one of those Google cars though there's been some confirmation that the Google cars have actually crashed so they're not they're not perfect yet they're not but they've probably crashed a lot less than the people that work for Google right two that's a now see that's mhm that's a stat I don't want to learn mhm turns out just cuz good with a laptop doesn't mean you're good with a Camry dude I had a great time talking to you but we're for having thanks for being on we got to do this again that was great I what's funny is I didn't I was like how long are some of these this was 3 hours how about that I feel like I just got here flew by man thanks for having me thanks for being on man I really appreciate it and I enjoy your show and when can people watch it's on the History Channel yes we just ran our season of lost and transmission so we'll go back to work it looks like into of the summer on Top Gear that'll take a little while to make then hopefully we'll do more um lost and transmission and you can see me every weekend on NBC uh starting in July for all our NASCAR coverage and what is your Twitter handle it's rwood rule d g beautiful all right ladies and gentlemen we'll be back tomorrow with hypnotist Vinnie shoran the man that uh Joe Schilling was telling me about he's going to hypnotize me I'm going to tell you if the [ __ ] Works see you guys much love thanks buddy appreciate [Music] it so