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down yeah well something [ __ ] up went down when if you're listening to this if if it's sometime in the future uh because these recordings will be saved Forever This is today's date is July 17th 2014 approximately a week ago Anthony kumia was taking photographs Anthony of the OPI and Anthony show which our pal Jim Norton is also a part of was he was downtown in New York taking some photographs s and from there on it's a bunch of you know what what he says and what I'm sure the woman who beat the [ __ ] out of him would have a different story but he was taken some photographs one of one of the photographs was of this uh what are those things called when you uh those things scaff scaffolding he was walking through the scaffolding a woman was coming towards him it looked like he was just taking a bunch of cool photos of New York there's a bunch of them that he put up on his Instagram anyway this woman got upset that he was taking a photo of her probably thought that he was pervin um got mad at him violence ensued she hit him and he went on Twitter and went on this rant about violence about the black community and their propensity for violence about this woman calling her an animal what she did and uh Sirius fired him and which left a [ __ ] huge hole in uh my entertainment world uh the opian Anthony show is my all-time favorite radio show I listen to it all the time and now all sudden it is no more yeah it's uh you know it's a huge hole too like I no one panicked like me because Opie and Anthony both have kind of [ __ ] you money Jim Norton doesn't so selfishly thinking I'm like well there goes everything cuz the show's done well you're always going to be great because you're a funny comic you can always work and you never have to worry about that but um it is a crazy thing uh that you know all of a sudden like that for things that he said on the show a 100 times times I think what sorry I think what happened was he tweeted like he told I talked to him multiple times since then he was walking and people don't believe that he was actually taking legitimate New York photos that was one of the points of contention people like he was being creepy but he really wasn't like Anthony has had this giant Hubble like camera in the studio um every day for probably six
months now he's getting into photography it's what he's been doing so that was not unusual at all to hear he was out and about taking photos that's legit and I guess this woman got angry and I I talked to him and he said that she just said something like you you know this white boy's taking my picture you white [ __ ] whatever she said she clocked him and he kept defending himself and as he's putting his arms up she is going um don't touch me like you know that thing like that a woman might do to prevent you from hitting her like and you could see how frightening that would be CU then people think you're beating on this woman right so he's putting his hand up and you know I know Aunt well enough to know he's not going to just punch a woman in the face so she's doing that and I think a few black guys came around and they didn't do anything to ant but they were like you know don't touch her so um you know ant who is always armed and he's licensed to carry um didn't hit her didn't pull out his pistol and uh went home and I guess was really upset and and went out on like you said a Twitter Rampage and um I knew it was bad the next morning when I saw it because my ex-girlfriend called me and she's like what happened with Anthony you got beat up by a woman I'm I don't know so I looked and I saw the tweets I'm like oh I actually texted him about one I don't think I've ever done that before there was one that I texted him about I'm like is that you all right man is that he's like yeah I'm fine M go it was scary wow um yeah the the thing about anunt is he's developed this sort of style of communicating on the show where he he goes on these long hilarious entertaining profanity filled Rants and there's one thing about hearing it but there's another thing of like seeing it in a text form is just it's just not the same it looks things don't don't look good in print certain things and I think what happened was is in the middle of like when you have you have a contextual conversation it's like you have people there's inflection there's another guy next to you going well hey what do you mean by that and then you're clarifying it or it's just it's a different energy when you're tweeting and you're that mad like I think he like any type of an assault even if it's a woman hitting you and it's not life-threatening is still
like you know an hour later you're like what the [ __ ] just happened like I think it just freaked him out and she hit him a couple times five times or so and he she sent me a pictures of his face and and he had like little you could see that he had been struck he wasn't making it up and so he went on and when I looked at the the flow of things like I know Anthony and I know what he's saying he was not calling all black people animals he wasn't because he's never said that he's talking about a behavior of this woman and I I think that what happened was he was so mad and when you're tweeting that aggress IV ly and you've just you're [ __ ] dealing with this in your head that sometimes things come out jumbled and muddied and like if you know aun you know what he's saying people who don't know I'm are reading this going what does he mean he's saying that there's violence in black people and they are animal like people are putting these pieces of a puzzle together and they're making a a picture and it was like it just I know him well enough to know that in a conversation if someone said are you trying to say black people are animals he would go no not at all it's a behavioral based thing you know what I mean because he said that about white people too so I mean it was just one of those things where once it was in print it's even in context we lie as a country like you know like when cancel coar came out the the activist knew the context that he was making those Asian jokes in and didn't give a [ __ ] she still wanted to SN them she's like no no I get it he was trying to you know show the difference between the same thing between this and Native Americans and how ridiculous is but I don't care so we've gotten to a point now where we don't even pretend to not understand the context anymore we admit that we understand the context and we go after people anyway so so something like this is bound to uh to sync you because it can be taken both ways unless you actually sit there and talk to the guy and each tweet has to come out like a film each tweet has to be a beginning middle and end with no explanation needed around it in order to to to be survivable that makes sense well you know what the big big key to what you said that it could syn you well it only syncs you if you work for a company and
in my opinion that's unnecessary in this day and age it's unnecessary and I I think you guys and I think Anthony for sure would be far better off with a podcast anybody can get a podcast and put it on their phone now everybody's phone has a little Jack that sticks into your car and you play your phone through your car everybody has that now I mean it's not an uncommon thing it's more common to have that Jack than it is to have satellite radio most people have to get a satellite radio thing installed in their car most people already have that Jack right you know it's it's so goddamn easy and I get I bet you could get all the same sponsors I bet you could get all the same sponsors and you would have no middleman and you don't look at the studio it's not doesn't take much to put something together you know a little bit of time a little bit of effort you know you got to know someone who's an engineer know someone who knows how to put the stuff together and set up the microphones but other than that what's the difference between this and satellite radio I'll tell you what the difference is nobody can [ __ ] fire you you can go on some [ __ ] rampage that [ __ ] animal and no one you know people might say I'm not downloading your podcast anymore but at least you have the opportunity to communicate to explain yourself and if the people decide that they don't like your character based on one thing that you said or one rant that you went on that is their decision but it's not the decision of a company right and when things get you know companies are squirly man they have [ __ ] shareholders and stocks and they have responsibilities and all you need is a few slacktivists that start web pages and you know fire Anthony and Anthony Kum we're going after those sponsors we're going to let them know we're boycotting mostly just noise mostly nonsense mostly just soft targets but all you need is a few of those and a a [ __ ] a company will Panic they do what happens is you know it's a billion dooll company so you get guys like you know Scott and Jim who runs it who you know they're just the 4th of July weekend was coming and then all of a sudden they're getting phone calls from the New York Post and the Washington Post all all the Press obviously has a
narrative and they did a [ __ ] job but the Washington Post I thought was the worst offender with the way they covered it cuz the woman wrote things that was just really it was revolting to read what' she write she was talking about Anthony saying that these guys came around and she was saying like you know oh well I guess if a bunch of African-American or she said a bunch of gentlemen want to defend someone from defaming an African-American woman it's okay like that's what was happening she wasn't acknowledging that Anthony was being hit she acted like these guys had read his Twitter feed not like it it was just like she read their Twitter feed in the future in the future it was repulsive of this well a woman who looks like the [ __ ] fake de interpreter from Mandela's funeral is beating on Anthony but uh the Fate de interpreter is a [ __ ] that's a meme that guy's a meme he's rules but uh the company these guys just get all of a sudden they're just they're home and they're getting phone calls in the office the day before vacation so what are your comments and they probably weren't even that familiar with it until they're getting calls from the paper and they're like what do we do with this and then this is what the Press does this is why you got to hate the cuz I think Sirius was going to try to write it out that's my opinion cuz they knew a holiday weekend was coming and uh this is purely a guess because no one was saying anything and then all of a sudden the Press starts going we have not had a comment from Syria satellite radio so we're assuming that they agree with Mr cumia's opinions they do this sneaky [ __ ] to push you into defending yourself so now the company with shareholders like you said has to go well how do we tell people that we don't agree so it's not like the Press is the made them do it but the Press understands how to Corner you into giving a statement a definitive statement because they know that you're not used to this they know that these guys come to work uh in management positions are not used to getting phone calls going how do you feel about this statement and that statement you know it was really it was a very frustrating thing when I saw what the Press did with it that that to me is always who my biggest
complaint is with always is with the Press well there's no Nuance to the way they report on certain things like this cuz there's there's Nuance to this especially if you look into it in character if you in context rather if you understand that guy and you you look at him look there is a a problem with violence in the black community to pretend there's not a problem with violence in the black community it's to pretend that there aren't insane amounts of murders going on in Chicago to pretend that there's not issues with the amount of black people that are in jail the percentage of the population now are those economic problems are those problems related to upbringing are those Pro yes education yes absolutely there's a lot of [ __ ] disparity there's a lot of problems with poverty there's a lot of problems with the structure of our culture itself and that you could attribute a lot of those problems to racism to racism in the way that uh funds are allocated the way that you know the attention that Society puts on impoverished communities absolutely institutionalized yes but to pretend that it's not a problem is ridiculous it's [ __ ] ridiculous so when he's taking a picture of some chick and she starts punching him I think he's allowed to talk about the problem with violence with that Community with the community that this person is from that's beating him up did he do it the right way no absolutely not did he do it in a way that could be misconstrued or construed or interpreted as racist absolutely did yeah he did he [ __ ] up he did it the wrong way he probably shouldn't have done it on Twitter he probably should have made a video he probably should have made a video explaining showing what happened to him and explain in what goes on explaining and this 140 [ __ ] characters thing is a big part of the problem dude Absolut that's exactly what it was because Anthony is so good at at clarify whenever you talk about race or a million other thing whether it's religion it it it's so hard to make your point without stepping in [ __ ] and then having to go off on 50 uh digressions like no no that's not what I meant no no that's not what I meant like you that's the worst part of discussing stuff is that people jump in on the side what are you saying that all people do all black
people no I'm not so in order to be able to to get your point across you have to walk a narrow you almost have to to close people's argument doors like a get smart episode as you're walking this way your point gets through and Anthony is a genius at doing that a genius at it because we've debated race so many times uh on on the show and him and Patrice would go back and forth and and Patrice loved Anthony because he said Anthony's an adorable racist you know Patrice was so funny with he never never was upset by Anthony's opinions because Anthony would listen to him and they would go back and forth half the time Patrice was right and half the time Anthony was right but on Twitter I think like like in that emotion when you're saying X Y and Z he I don't think he did as good a job as he should have done of closing those doors behind him almost like sealing off things that people can get to you on because he was so upset because he had had a physical assault and I know it sounds like I'm talking in circles and just defending my friend but I've been with him for 10 years in this medium of totally uncensored and I I'm telling you I know him well enough to know that he's like he's got weird things where he'll talk about race and people misinterpret him and I've talked to him privately and the guy does not hate black people and I know that that's just oh his friends defending him but I'm telling you that he does not because I know him well and then to hear people going he hates black people it's like he's just not afraid of being misconstrued or interpreted as racist he's not afraid of it by saying what he really believes is his opinion about certain aspects of a group whatever a race a gender whatever it is he's not afraid of speaking his mind about things because he's got that [ __ ] you money that's a big part of it and he's got 150,000 guns those are two things and you know a big part of it that drove me [ __ ] crazy is people are not they're not taking into account the reaction that someone has when they get assaulted yes because when you get hit by someone some [ __ ] stranger that you don't know hits you especially when you've got a gun you've got a [ __ ] bullet launching gun you've got a thing inside you that has explosions you press a trigger
explosions Propel bullets and they end lives instantly and anony is an expert with one and he has it on him at all times and he's getting hit and he's like what the [ __ ] and so he gets on my [ __ ] animal con [ __ ] [ __ ] you this that you know it's getting hit is a very disturbing thing it's I mean there's one thing to get hit in a SP getting hit in a sparring session is infuriating with people you know I've seen people go [ __ ] crazy because they get choked out in a Jiu-Jitsu session getting punched is way more traumatic getting punched by a stranger multiple times for taking a [ __ ] photograph I don't know what the exchange was between the two of them I don't know you know if if he was saying something that was infuriating I don't I don't I wasn't there you know I'm not going to pretend I was there but man you got to take into account the reaction that people have when you hit them and it it to me and again I hate to keep going back to the Press but they didn't focus on the fact that he that like he handled himself properly in that because I know I would have I don't know if I would have pulled the gun in that moment but I'm a panicky Pete and I would have just when other guys were coming over I would have at least brandished it and he acted physically responsible like as a as a as a [ __ ] guy with a pistol on him because people get shot all the time for dumb arguments and dumb things he handled himself absolutely right and lost his cool once he got home and uh people didn't take the Press didn't take that into account they harped on the fact that he didn't get a police report and I wish he had now in hindsight because they're all going Mr kumia did not get a police report but here's the deal had he gotten a police report they would have just ignored it they wouldn't have said well at least he got a police report they would have glanced over the fact and then said yeah well anyone can get a police report so they were just using that as a reason to kind of ignore the fact that he got hit they're like and we didn't see a police report all the harped on the fact that he didn't get a police report but an response was look man you know I I know enough cops to know that me getting hit by some lady in Time Square is not a [ __ ] priority for NYPD who's worried about terrorists
yeah especially if he's fine I think there's a real issue also with what the Press with a lot of people in the Press I I'll clarify that what they're trying to do is they're trying to close those get smart doors as they write a piece as well and as they're writing a piece they are also trying to plate all the people that are going to be up in arms about their opinions if they could possibly be supporting a racist if they could possibly be taking a side agreeing with him seeing his point of view they could be misinterpreted or they could be interpreted as being racist as well so they have to worry about that as well especially if you're with a a liberal rag you know if you have a very liberal newspaper that you work for and they have a clear agenda which a lot of them do the Washington times does right Wasington po absolutely Washington Post does there's a lot of them that have a liberal and if you are reporting for them you know and it's something like this that's very controversial and something where there's there's a bunch of things that automatically have like a knee-jerk reaction to them and this is one of them knee-jerk reaction to what's conceived as racism perceived as racism yes and a and another thing that they do that's even that's even more enraging is they what what what people who write for the Press now have to do is that it's not just reporting what happened it's how do I editorialize under the guise of being in part and they do that a lot too and that I don't like either it's like that to me is the worst crime they commit actually it's the editorializing as they're going along like it's legitimate like uh like NBC and I'm not a Zimmerman fan either Aunt was a big supporter of Zimmerman I thought Zimmerman should have went to jail for something I didn't know what legally I have no ground to stand on but I kind of thought he was a [ __ ] but uh but but not a guy who was out to commit a murder either I thought there was a line in between but whatever like NBC edited that tape like H can't do that there's no reason to do that unless you're pushing something but they're doing it under the guise of being impartial and I'm sure they've done it plenty of times to vilify blacks I'm not saying they haven't he lost that lawsuit
you know uh I know he did crazy that's crazy it's absolutely nuts I don't know why the news has such a different level of what they can get away with and what they can do because they're seen as doing a public service in my opinion though I think they lost it because everybody was hating that guy and they just want they didn't want him to win something on top of this the fact that he still has his freedom the kid lost his life I think he's a I think he's a sucky [ __ ] security guard that's what I think I think if you're going to look at that guy and find fault in what he did it's how did he handle the situation and what a more confident competent person have handled it the same way like here's a perfect example my friend Big John McCarthy who's a cop I guarantee you you know the referee referee he a cop that guy was a cop for a long time but a great guy but knows how to handle [ __ ] if if Big John McCarthy saw that kid walking in the neighborhood he probably would have said how you doing man everything cool you know had a conversation with him everything would have been fine like even if the kid like got up in arms or got mouy with him he would have probably calmed him down you know without having to get into some physical alter not only that the kid wouldn't have been able to mount him and Bash his [ __ ] head off the ground because he's physically incompetent if you're going to [ __ ] Patrol a neighborhood you can't do it just with a gun you can't be you can't have the only the last resort is your only Resort you he can't physically defend himself he's at of shape he's soft and doughy and he's not physically able to hold that guy off but yet he's put himself in this position where he's like a security he's the force of of of the truth of the law you can't do that you're not you're not qualified for that job he's just not so when that kid's on top of him bouncing his [ __ ] head off the curb look I don't see any way out for him other than using a weapon when that kid's beating the [ __ ] out of him but he should have never gotten to that position he should have never it should have never escalated to that you're telling me the only way two people can communicate like that is it comes into violence no it it it's how do you deal with it how do you communicate how did
you address this person what did you say when he talked back to you what did you say was what were the exchange of words right you know and those those things there's a big difference between there was a video that we played the other day um was some the uh do you even lift bro you ever see that guy the Russian guy is he Russian there's even a worse one there I don't know the p kids though in New York where the the Bronx the police chief in Bronx New York was like stop doing it you're going to get killed like these two kids are just go on YouTube and they go up to people in in horrible neighborhoods and are like hey man you got a problem while he's holding a calculator and he's just trying to be funny but these guys are just bashing their heads in and stuff and so the Bronx uh chief police or something like that said look stop it but yeah these videos are getting more popular my point is if you watch those videos the guy he comes up to people that like look like they work out and goes do you even lift bro look how small you are and some people handle it great some people go you know like man I don't even don't pull it up we don't need to see it some people go yeah mean know I don't even lift you know I guess I'm small and then they laugh and they walk away and some people like threaten them like it it depends entirely on how two people interact with each other and I think that's what we don't know about the Anthony situation that's what we don't know about the Zimmerman situation it's not just about what went down it's about how did it all play out how could it have been avoided there's little subtleties in language like when Jonah Hill was apologizing recently um and he's he and he's obviously not a homophobe he just got mad and said suck my dick [ __ ] it was a stupid thing in a moment and he's on The Tonight Show and again he's just apologizing I think he never had to deal with something like this and he said something he goes man the intent doesn't matter it's the words the words are and it was like again I know you're on the spot in that moment and I'm not going to crucify the guy but I I wish I was there so I could just appear on the seat next to him like in that Woody Allen scene when the guy walks out to correct the guy online and
go no the intent is everything cuz if the words matter the next time somebody said the [ __ ] Giants killed the Jets well we better call the police oh that's right it's the intent we understand every every every single interaction or phrase has an intent behind it which which doesn't always come through in in the written word it's just it's an inflection and that's something that you and I had a conversation about with the Tracy Morgan situation with people pretending that what he was saying when he was on stage you know that he was going to stab a son if his son was gay like his whole Act is filled with him saying ridiculous [ __ ] this is not a statement it's not an affidavit he's making Court you're you're taking it out of context because it's a soft target if you do that yes I'm going to stab my son because he's gay as a statement of fact or at the at the end of a political rally is a pretty awful thing to say but if you've opened up with I'm going to get you pregnant and I'm gonna mold [ __ ] and make a hat out of it it's kind of hard to take any one statement and go well that's the serious one but that's again that's that purposely ignoring context or even when you can't ignore it saying yeah we understand the context and we don't [ __ ] care it's just soft targets people find soft targets and those targets look if if they're all ganging up on Anthony too that's the other thing I'm not saying boohoo Anthony but let's pay attention to what's really going on if you're writing an article out of the blue for no reason about Jim Norton you you're the only guy I think Jim Norton is a despicable person and you write this article you have the option to respond to that and you can go well who are you Mr reporter dick wad let's take a look at you and then other people can take a look at him too but when everybody's piling on it's a free-for-all it's a free ride and then you're there flailing wildly although Lou Louis CK actually raised a really good point about that when something was happened he goes you know you have to remember too everybody's not Googling you like everyone is not Googling Joe Rogan or Jim Norton or Anthony kumia like so you're seeing uh every result about yourself and it appears overwhelming but the reality is like people may be reading
news day or the post or The Gawker or vice you know whatever they're reading but they're not reading every single article on Anthony kumia or on Jim nort so that's where the overwhelming thing is sometimes misleading because people are all reading little Snippets of it but when you know the company's getting calls from again five or six different Outlets to them it feels overwhelming and like what the [ __ ] do we do with this because this wasn't on the air so I think that's what and again they haven't discussed this with me I'm I'm purely speculating because to them if was on the air I'm guessing they would have said well that's what he does on the air but they're not looking at it like well he was reacting to being hit I think they just were like oh okay we got to fire him like I think that's why they they kind of just reacted very quickly I think they [ __ ] themselves I really do they [ __ ] themselves cuz they were supposed to be the place where it was free speech this is the wild place but where the virus you were it was the virus Channel remember now it's Serious XM talk that's it Serious XM talk we have to rename it but we don't know what they have they have to they're not asking for my input I don't want my name on the show like I I want to be on the show but I don't I don't want to be Opie and Jimmy I want people to feel like I'm jumping into Anthony's right seat cuz I'm not right um if they call it Opie show I'm much more happy with that because that's what it was before he met Anthony Kum how would call it we miss Anthony uh yeah that would be kind of uh or or Tony we'll call Tony so they don't know who we're talking about we'll just say bring where's Tony be sneaky yeah but it is a horrible and it's like people get mad at me in Opie and it's like we don't and I tried to say like we didn't mad at you for what because they they people think that we're like a bunch of teenagers hanging out and they're like you guys should walk and support and it's like first of all you dumb [ __ ] that say that Anthony I've talked to he wouldn't walk and he told me dude you got to make your money like and it's all A and B I'm under contract I can't just walk I have three more months under contract and Obie tried to clear this up on the air like if we just
walk out if they don't fire us and we just walk and say a bunch more subs leave cuz they realize like wow the show really is gone then all of a sudden Sirius wants to take action on us for breach it's a whole [ __ ] legal people just don't get that part of it and they think that we're [ __ ] Anthony you know who doesn't think we're [ __ ] Anthony Anthony he knows we're not [ __ ] only an idiot thinks you're [ __ ] Anthony but there's always going to be idiots with opinions out there yeah and I'm fine with that when people say like dude I love you and Opie but I got to cancel because I I'm staying with Anthony I don't get mad at those people or if people are like I'm going to keep serious and I'm also going to listen to Aunt I don't B I'm with that too because I get the emotion like whatever they got to do to support ant is cool with me I want them to stay because my in my ideal World they listen to me in Opie and then they [ __ ] listen to Anthony there's no competition I'm not going to we're not like hey don't mention Anthony you know when it's [ __ ] show comes out I'm gonna I'm GNA tweet it because I want him to succeed because he's one of my closest friends it's gonna succeed it's going to if you you know just he's an entertaining guy he's an interesting guy and the platform of the internet is so free and easy and he's already got a full professional setup at his house people don't know if you've never seen one of the main reasons I started this podcast is because of live from the compound because he set up a [ __ ] green screen in his house a professional studio and he was playing images behind him of like the city of like he had a green screen I mean a beautiful green screen P like professional broadcast quality cameras like the whole deal I was like that's amazing and that slowly but surely led to what you're seeing right here like him doing that while he was already on serious and Sirius tried to stop him from doing that they got they gave him a hard time about that yeah I mean that was I think that was a contractual issue too they're like look this is the medium you're on but eventually they kind of like let him do it and they're like uh it's only helping it would only help the show it's just more more advertising more people paying attention more entertainment you know
it's it's going to get more people I mean that's what people are realizing about the internet remember Lars Erich got all upset at Metallica fans for downloading his [ __ ] and it created this huge [ __ ] storm you know where everybody was like dude don't you have enough [ __ ] money like you you're worried about people downloading your [ __ ] more people going to come see you in concert and that's what it really has turned out to be for all musical artists yeah you're not selling as many records but you're going to get more fans and there there's more people are going to see you in concert and guess what that's all your money when when you can set that up and and have people just come out and see you in concert that's actually better I didn't mind I'll tell you why I didn't mind Lars doing that because I I think that he kind of say what was happening is what the the music industry was not prepared for the onslaught of downloads and again they're greedy [ __ ] the the I mean the business not the artist but the [ __ ] guys behind the scenes they've been raping artists for years [ __ ] taking all their money but had it not because I think iTunes was born of the idea of Napster falling through so it's like I kind of like it because now I can go buy a song or two songs like I'm not going to download a whole [ __ ] Nicki Minaj album but there's one song Looking Ass [ __ ] is the [ __ ] greatest song ever done it's the [ __ ] greatest thing ever done I don't want to buy the whole album but that [ __ ] video is is sexy I dude I [ __ ] love that song I for real love it it's great and that I would buy I don't want to buy the whole dumb Rec I wish we could play it but we'll get pulled off of YouTube It's a song you can't sing also with the windows down too I found out recently it's a lot of NWS yes it really is but the but the the lines she uses in that are [ __ ] great and I I love the song so but that's just an example I can't buy that whole album right and I like it for my own dumb little CDs that are on iTunes I like the fact I can make some money there um and they're not just going to people are still going to steal them P you there's still brilliant people out there but the majority of people aren't computer Geniuses they just I'll go to iTunes for a buck and buy a couple truck like that
I kind of like if it's easy to do people are going to pay for it it's easy to one click on Amazon people pay for it one click on iTunes that's you know that's that's the way to do it make it so it's convenient make it I mean I think eventually you're going you're always going to have people that have digital copies of things online that they it's always going to be the case but people are getting more and more hesitant to do that because a lot of people are getting [ __ ] like people that are downloading illegal pirating of the UFC's they're getting sued uh people that have downloaded movies are getting sued people that upload movies like a lot of those guys that had like a bunch of movies that they were sharing on bit torrent they're getting sued for fuckloads of money man and and and people like why are they going after the little guy here's why because when the little guy starts to have to people say you can get sued ah they can't win oh okay that's how it happens you walk into court and go your honor they can't win and he goes you're right no charge no you got to pay for a [ __ ] lawyer and a lawyer is a 20 grand hit minimum so the average person when they have to get an attorney and they realize this is going to cost me 10,000 th $20,000 just to defend they don't want to deal with it so a lot that's a lot of times that's what these little lawsuits are about it's getting people just to back off and discouraging people well I got errors and omissions insurance because of a conversation I had with you oh okay you told me about it yeah and uh when you were getting sued yes it's um it's a very frustrating process because you realize the legal process is not free even if it even if you think you're in the right but it in a way it saved me I think in the long run that experience because now I have it for everything I do my books DVDs CDs I get everything vetted and I have like you know $3 million worth of insurance which is probably a panicky overkill on my part but I do that because you want to protect yourself even from a a a uh what's the word uh not Frugal uh frivolous litigation I don't know who's going to come after me somebody may hear something and then it may cause them to bang their [ __ ] head into the wall and then say I caused an autistic
reaction or I caused a [ __ ] what was what was the one Al roer made fun of the uh uh you know the no the Olympic logo is causing some kind of a uh epileptic epileptic thing whatever it is someone can always file the suit and you have to pay to defend it so that type of [ __ ] it's nice to have you know that really does happen yes there was a dude that I had on my podcast his wife was an epilep not on my podcast on my message board his wife was an epileptic and uh someone had a logo that was like flashing and he started complaining about it you guys need to take that down so then everybody put up a flashing logo like it was of course but then he messaged me he's like seriously if my wife sees that she'll faint she'll just go into a seizure I was like come on really so I had to look it up like yeah it does there's there was a a certain television show that was going on in Japan it was like a kids show it's the one with the Mighty the four guys uh Power Rangers was it the Power Rangers whatever it was this television show made kids have seizures for whatever reason certain kids that have a certain right issue they would watch these flashing things and just most video games now have that at the beginning like if you play the video game like this game could cause seizures if you have that they us they have to warn you so it's you've been pre- [ __ ] weird and by the way everything that we deal with it's annoying everything is because of lawsuits so we kind of have brought it on ourselves too like people like why do they have the companies have to be so like I'll get annoyed at Syria sometimes like what the [ __ ] and then I'm like oh yeah they have a [ __ ] load of people working for them and every one of them has access to human resources and any one of those people could just go to human resources and say this is a hostile work environment because of something you know people like why can't we look at a girl's ass in the hallway go ahead pinch your ass like it's 1950 and then when they sue the company the company's like what like what the [ __ ] we got to pay to defend this because you couldn't keep your hands offer so as much as companies can drive me nuts sometimes all of these protective barriers that have been put in Place have been because citizens have filed lawsuits some that were very
legitimate like sexual harassment guys are kind of pieces of [ __ ] with that that was probably a bad example because most guys you know women tell me horror stories what they got to deal with at work where imagine yeah it's more than just a glance like it's you know a guy rubbing his dick on her while they're getting coffee and going I'm kidding you know it's like how do you [ __ ] deal with that if you're but you know the companies have to deal with this so then they put all this [ __ ] in place to protect themselves from these litigious [ __ ] [ __ ] employees yeah there's both right there's real scenarios where people are getting sexually harassed and that is Uber [ __ ] up you know could you imagine being a chick in an office and some guy you don't want to have anything to do with consistently hits on you and tells dirty jokes and [ __ ] with you and asks you if you're gaining weight if you ignore them and you know they start getting weird guys are gross man I'm so glad I'm not a chick I couldn't imagine being a heterosexual woman having to deal with men who want to [ __ ] me or just the energy like the things that you can't prove in but the energy of the guy who wants to [ __ ] you comes over with his dumb dick up against the [ __ ] top of your desk how you doing I'm just saying hello you know you both know what he's resting it yeah F it's all mushed up [ __ ] half Plum that kid's [ __ ] making men in women work together for eight hours in a row together in a in a closed in environment it's automatic sexual tension between some folks it has to be yeah just there's no way around that man no from a from a guy's point of view at least I think women are because their whole thing is picking which guys they want to [ __ ] I think women are better at going this is this is professional I'm not going to do that we're just awful at it I know I'm awful at it yeah but it's also like there's just a that's the social environment of the office there's always going to be weirdness you know in the office and then if you have those [ __ ] office parties where people get a little liquored up and it all comes out da you start dancing and [ __ ] and little nuttiness and next thing you know people are getting [ __ ] sued and yeah you're dropping someone off and you want to
jerk Jing off in front of her in the car and she goes in feels dirty cuz it happened whatever whatever what's a big deal over here we're friends F [ __ ] worked together for six months already yeah [ __ ] holiday party you [ __ ] yeah I clean the dash yeah come on I thought you wanted it but that's look we have female interns that's what keeps me from hitting on the interns I'm [ __ ] as Florentine would say I'm Pete professional with the interns I don't [ __ ] I'll joke with them on the air I don't [ __ ] look at their asses in the hallway I don't flirt with them because a the most of are 21 and 22 I don't want one of them misinterpreting something and going to human resources and going this 45-year-old piece of garbage is hitting on me and then I'm going to sue you right and then the company's like we're going to get sued what the [ __ ] cuz companies have lost a lot of money with that oh yeah they've lost in legit cases oh yeah but they don't want to take a chance yeah so then they're going to [ __ ] look at me and go one more time and you you know whatever so that's why I don't do it another aspect of uh this crazy litigious society that we live in is patent trolls that's the thing that Adam Coro is going through right now when we're all a part of it and we're trying to help him raise money for his legal funds it's going to cost him a million dollars a million dollars to defend against this patent troll yeah and they they already had a hearing and during the hearing or they had what whatever it is when they meet down and they discuss the merits of the case and the you know the case is essentially thought to be frivolous but they're still going forward with motion to dismiss I Tred to motion to dismiss and they said no so e either I guess what they will do is go for my guess will be the next step or or they can go for summary judgment uh maybe where they they process all the facts and they say you know should we go into depositions or whatever and again it might be different in this kind of case but there's a lot of that's a that's a a patent uh troll friendly area where they're from which is why I think a lot of these people set up offices in that part of Texas but [ __ ] the Supreme Court just shot down they really hurt patent troll saying something that you
can't patent idea like you can patent a method of delivering an idea but you can't patent the idea of just like episodic things on the Internet or or whatever it was that they said you can't do let's let's give them a shout out here because Mike August sent me this uh he's the guy who runs uh Adam show over there he sent me this thing about it give you the whole this is the full deal so far they have raised $425,000 for their um for their defense their most recent bill this is incredible they have been running at $100,000 a month $100,000 a month for the last three months in legal bills so they're now at a deficit of $20,000 personal audio has shown no signs of backing down from their litigation posture despite a discovery process that has revealed a completely weak connection to be drawn between their purported patent apparatus and the dissemination of media files that we do as podcasters so what they're hoping for is that Adam some or another Taps out and if he does then they try to hit everybody who podcast with you know hey give us 20 bucks a month or whatever the [ __ ] it is um so they're going to have to raise another 50 oh 500,000 to $750,000 to continue with the litigation unbelievable it's incredible it's sickening and and the only thing is and and I don't know what it's like in Texas I know in New York it's hard to get but everyone thinks like well hey man I'll just try to get them to make them pay for my legal fees that doesn't always happen and and and it's h judges don't like to do that they don't like to give a I forget what it's called but it's when you make the the suing attorney or the suing the plaintiff pay the defendants legal fees it has to be proven to be such a litigious uh a frivolous thing so that's a really hard thing to do yeah and if you want to help this is the way they've got it set up to help um they have a uh podcast legal defense fund Amazon account and what that is is if you buy something from Amazon if you do it through that account they get a kickback they get a piece of the action so it doesn't cost you anything as a person so if you use Amazon a lot like I do I love to use Amazon if you use it please use it through the podcast legal defense Amazon
fund if you just Google that it's on fund.com you can um you can find the uh the the link to it and Adam has a video up there that explains what's going on and how this all got started it's really gross it's it's and if you look at what the actual patented is itself it's it's crazy that they can sue for it it's essentially releasing things in a serialized form like a form one two three and four on the internet I mean that's it playlist yeah I mean that's like that's crazy like the idea that you could patent that is just [ __ ] bananas yeah it's and it's very I I forget what it's called when they give them money it's really rare and in London in England London in [ __ ] uh England I think they're much more likely to cuz a lot of people less likely to sue for something that's that they might be Friv although they may not get a you may not be able to recover on a frivolous lawsuit because there may be legal merits to this lawsuit even if even if they lose what are they personal audio they're called they may it may not be a frivolous suit like in in the legal system's eyes the legal system may see this as a legit suit that they win or lose as opposed to a frivolous one so Adam may not be able to get his money back even if he wins do you know what I mean totally hear you so even if he wins he might still be hit with all these legal fees sure and of course whoever loses Rec of course unless because you know I'm guessing that the other place has more money than Adam does so an appeal will cost money and everyone who podcasts has a very very vested interest in this because I don't think it's a a good lawsuit I mean I I don't think that their right to ask for this at all I think it's [ __ ] of course and um these guys have already made a shitload of money suing Apple they uh they I think they made seven or $8 million million I think on the playlist or something there was something about a playlist something [ __ ] crazy like that I have to piss badly can I run there and don't worry about it man so um anybody that wants to to uh help just go to fund.com Just Just Google podcast legal defense fund um Amazon account yeah you'll find it you'll find it and just try to do your Amazon shopping through there if everybody does that it will
make a big difference and it'll be no hardship whatsoever for uh anybody you know that's that's that's helping to support the show also on their Fund in page they have a bunch of different packages you know like one's 20 bucks one's 40 bucks or whatever that comes with a bunch of stuff so if they want to like help out by using a package that's awesome yeah and Adam's a good guy and I'm I'm glad he's doing this I'm glad he's not buckling and just I don't know why he got hit up and other people didn't get hit up you know you didn't get hit up no I got hit up I don't understand it are you are you asking for money cuz I think it has something to do with subscriptions or asking for money did you ever ask for any money no I mean the only thing that we have at death squad is just buying t-shirts which I've been trying to keep a SE as possible from you know it's totally separate it's just your t-shirts and if you want those folks go to getes squad. TV if you see those cats and and hat cat we have hats we got flasks we got hat you wearing right now yep the one I have right now kapow ladies and gentlemen and flasks flask so you can you could be one of those old timey drunks put a a warm flask of whiskey in your back pocket and fart on it all day pour it into your coffee or protect your chest pocket from bullets yeah yeah that does happen upon occasion by the way thanks for the the the fanny pack I like it a lot you like it it's really and the first thing I thought of Cu I toured with dice was dice would go nice nuts for this and you like yeah dice you had something to do with that like well dice got a Roots fanny pack and he was wearing it was beautiful and I was like where'd you get that fanny pack like go check it out oh and he gave it to me uh to check out and uh I ordered one from Roots and then I contacted roots and I had them design mine with the higher primate logo on it so good so I'm selling those yeah [ __ ] fanny packs the way to go people are scared of fanny packs let me explain something to you a girl who will not [ __ ] you because you're wearing a fanny pack was not going to [ __ ] you anyway absolutely and if she was going to [ __ ] you it wasn't going to be worth it it was going to be one of those where she [ __ ] you she's like like what am I doing plus I don't try to get laid in my
fanny pack like I I don't like going to a club we in a [ __ ] fanny pack I wear when I fly I like to fly comfortably and people always like what are you wearing that for cuz I don't want [ __ ] in my pockets that's why sorry I supposed to look like The Fawns on a [ __ ] plane look hey why am I doing The Fawns [ __ ] you know who the f but I mean it's like why why try to be a [ __ ] cool image on the plane it's like I'm flying I'm I'm in I'm right from the airport right now I'm wearing my oversized Aussie shirt my sweatpants it's like that you fly to be comfortable yeah and that's such an easy thing to do you take that thing off put it in the tray it goes through you're done clip it back on you don't have to empty your pockets out and it doesn't include as a one of your carry-ons either when you have it around your waist so if you have like a backpack and a and a suitcase you could also have a fany pack attached to your body so it doesn't count as much not true it does with certain [ __ ] really you had that I had a woman tell me that I had to take it off and I put it in my back I'm like are you serious I go what's the difference between this and a pocket she goes it's a bag sir you have to have your bag inside another bag or you're going to have to check it she's just being a [ __ ] of course she was and I was like oh Jesus [ __ ] Christ but you can't say you're being a [ __ ] cuz that's a really that's the one you on the plane she was Cy of course she was so I just uh opened up my backpack and stuffed it in there but I was like this is the dumbest [ __ ] [ __ ] ever like is it I'm sitting by the way in my seat when she said this to me wait you were on the plane yes on the plane sitting in my seat with my my belt buckled the whole deal so I had to take off the fanny pack and put it in my [ __ ] backpack the one one time only for this one chick that just decided that's ridiculous you know that's what happens man you run into the wrong person was it the a major airline or was it a subsidiary like a smaller like you know you have you Delta you have Delta but was it a big plane or a small plane cuz a lot of times the ones on the you had Continental you had Continental Express United United Express and the United Express and Continental Express there there are other airlines or
American Eagle that's not American Airlines there a smaller Airline operating with the American logo so they're a totally separate Airline so what will happen is uh you know they they to me on the smaller planes are [ __ ] worse with the regulations headphones out please like whether you were listening to music or not it never happened to be on a big plane it was always those little American Eagle United Express Continental Express or whatever the Delta was that's weird isn't it yeah because you're not operating they they're operating Su equipment it's like uh Corgan Express whatever the [ __ ] it's called is the actual Airline they use United paint and United ticketing but they're operating kind of as a courier service for United or whoever the they are yeah I don't know man it's it's got to be a tough gig to be a flight attendant but but she that's just creating issues there's no need to do that I'm I'm friendly if you're with me I've never getting an issue I mean I didn't even argue with her I I said really I got to take this off she goes yes sir that's a back I'm like all right just put it in my back I'm done you know I don't need I don't need to but that's just creating an issue for no reason I saw a man and another man get in a mild dispute about something and this woman who was the flight attendant treated both of them like they were [ __ ] children and just rode it into the ground didn't let it go brought out the pilot made the pilot talk to both men totally unnecessary what were they disputing though they were disputing overhead space and this is what happened um a guy had more than one thing in an overhead and another guy went to put something in he like opened up the thing and there was no space in there and I think he said something like you know you've got you know why do you have two things in there and the guy said hey first comes first serve and the other guy says [ __ ] and he sits down that's it one guy's got two bags he puts it in there and he goes there's no there's no room for other people goes hey first come first serve the guy goes [ __ ] and he sits down that's the the whole dispute the woman wouldn't let the guy have a drink the guy asked for a drink she goes no you're not going to have a drink if I decide to let you have
a drink later I'll let you have a drink she brought out the the uh the the uh pilot and she even talked to me she was like if things go crazy you know if either one of these guys gets out of line you know I'm looking to you to to take care of this and I'm like oh yeah the [ __ ] these guys aren't no one's getting out of you're creating something out of nothing but she kept harping on it and pestering you know how there's some people that if they get an argument about something like what whatever it is if they they there's something that winds them up even if it's minor they will beat it into the ground until it becomes major they'll just ride you ride you ride you until you like you shut the [ __ ] up it's almost like she was trying to get these guys to blow up so she could justify her whatever internal strife her internal anger that she was projecting onto the situation but I saw the whole thing go down it was so minor either that or she was on a flight once where two drunks began arguing and then flight got diverted and then she was late like she was supposed to meet a guy with a huge dick and she missed it because her plane had to land in De Moine I like your story better I like that because in my story she's just a [ __ ] measly [ __ ] and in my story she was [ __ ] on her way to get some giant dick and she didn't want either one of these [ __ ] Petty ziles to interfere it was just it was the way she talked to them it's like she had a green light sure to say what she wanted to push the issue as hard they really do and look I mean after 9/11 we all changed we saw flying and we got to give them a lot of leeway but there does get to be a point where you have to be able to go like look you're being a [ __ ] complete and utter [ __ ] right now but you can never say that anymore ever well I do look at situations very differently if I see people getting in dispute on an airplane I I do look at it like as a potential I mean I don't look at it as like a terrorist situation but I do look at it as a potential like whoa you know people do bad [ __ ] to each other sometimes bad [ __ ] can go down sure and people are still allowed to carry a a lot of [ __ ] dangerous [ __ ] on planes they took away pool cues and they took away knives and a few things and they were going to bring back pocket knives
and pool cues but then they changed it because uh what happened someone did something oh that guy showed up in LAX and shot a bunch of TSA workers remember that he killed that one TSA worker that guy made they they pulled back this regulation change that they were going to have because of this guy but people still bring skateboards on you could [ __ ] somebody up with a skateboard MacBook Pro even that [ __ ] [ __ ] Titanium or just let it get all or close it while it's still on because they always heat up and then say to somebody hold this like a SC their arms that's like a really passive way to beat somebody up yeah especially if you rub the bot of it and get it all friction yeah you're just rubb it on them and watch them get shocked and burnt but yeah the the the idea of uh violence on a plane just freaks a lot of people out and it plays again the diversion of the flight yeah we've seen too many videos of guys yelling and screaming or that one [ __ ] bipolar [ __ ] whever there from trying to open the door oh yeah I'll tell you a big part of it and we've seen so much more in the last 20s something years cuz there's no more smoking on planes and I'm glad but I think a lot of what you see in rageful situations is people jonesing for cigarettes because there were times where I couldn't have a cigarette best thing I ever did was quit smoking in 2001 but when I'd be on a flight if we were going when I was opening for dice we were going to Dallas and say there was an hour delay [ __ ] that's another hour I can't smoke and you start your body you start to feel that [ __ ] that withdrawal and a lot of people people are probably going through that on planes and freaking out that they can't smoke oh I guarantee and I'm glad they can't smoke but I think that's a part of and then these [ __ ] Petty douches not even letting you have the fake some of the fake cigarettes do smell Kurt mezer uh who's a good friend of mine was writing for the the show that I'm doing would would smoke these [ __ ] things in the editing Bay they smell like vanilla bark and they nowhere near as offensive as a real cigarette but it was still like it was like a sweet [ __ ] wafting it was like the [ __ ] you doing he had one that was smoking here for while I was strawberry well you know the
thing I'm reading about those is they don't know if that shit's safe cuz you're breathing something it's not Vapor right you're breathing something that has something in it sure you know and there's no studies that have been done on it there's no studies about the secondhand smoke and what whatever it is it's it's also you're making someone breathe your smell yeah you know it's it's like if you were spraying perfume in the area I'd be like come on [ __ ] why you spraying perfume making people aware of your scent just wearing perfume women don't know how to wear perfume right most of them you're generalizing like crazy yeah I mean but you you can go anywhere where there's women and smell perfume if you focus in on it you know like why am I smell having to smell this I was in a restaurant recently and some guy had one of those big ass Vapor pipes I mean it was like a big fat tube one that he was puffing on and the [ __ ] it was filling the restaurant with smoke right but because it's like a vapor pipe or whatever the [ __ ] it's supposed to be and not lighting a fire it's supposed to be okay but I'm like this is crazy cuz I was eating with my kids and I was like we're sitting here in this guy's smoke it was a lot of it I mean he was taking these and you could see it it wasn't like those blue cigarettes you know those things those blue eigs when you blow those out it's like it's up and it's gone in seconds it doesn't have any smell this you can that's kind of what I'm thinking of those are the ones that are okay but those those fat ones that are like they're all different in their delivery method they're all different in the the the way they burn the oils and tobacco oil some of them it's [ __ ] smoke it's smoke I mean you're just you're burning oil instead of burning plant matter okay yeah that's true that's true smokeless ones now though also those you know those you can't argue with and also gum you know nicotine gum I guess is great it never helped me when I was smoking I would try it on Plains it tastes like pepper and it never did anything for me um makes me want to puke almost Marin addicted to those yeah a lot so rich Voss this is how awful Rich Voss is as a human he'll [ __ ] come in studio and he'll be he'll chewing them in mid story and then he'll tuck one up under his G
have you ever had Voss on here oh and he'll eat though while one is under his gums he'll eat a [ __ ] he'll eat a tuna fish sandwich say the way he would say it too yeah tuna fish uh or or you know or [ __ ] you know white fish whatever awful food he'll eat white fish with with his [ __ ] thing tucked up under um you know Voss is a weird guy very and one of my f he's really one of the most underrated funny people he's very funny and he's funny off the cuff more so than it even is on stage lightning this is a joke that we've been quoting we had Pete Rose in the other day I I listened oh did you hear that and the line the line he had that was it was so fast it was it was almost depressing whereas uh I think Pete Rose said to Voss he goes uh hey you're a little when Bob Kelly was in and he goes you're a little winded and Voss goes that's cuz I had to walk around you and Bobby like that fast so fast it was it was like he had been waiting for someone to say Voss you seem winded yeah so just when you want to just take a [ __ ] a pickaxe and hit rich in the yes he reminds you of his comedic Brilliance like he'll do something like chew the gum with the white fish and you hate him but then he like says something that's so comedically brilliant like this guy there's a genius to Rich Voss I love how you guys had just gotten done talking about how no one's going to sit in Anthony's seat you should probably put a glass box around it boss comes in the room the first thing he does is sit in Anthony's seat and he goes I never really liked that guy anyway he's just a [ __ ] Asbergers funny guy like that's where Voss is he's completely he'll make fun of anybody he'll make fun of anything like he he kind of there's a purity to Rich that he's 60 he's [ __ ] he just turned 57 yeah wow he's really up there and he's childish and uh he's Petty how old is this kid he's got a few he's got three his daughter Raina I think is six or so with Bonnie or five and his other kids are like when he was 52 yeah wow yeah there's hope yeah Wow and his other kids are grown they're like college age girls older and uh have you ever listened to their podcast I have I I did it once I did the uh I was the guest it's painful I think Bill Burr's doing it in Montreal where they my wife hates
me she's so brutal them she's so brutal and she's so much faster than him she's so smart but it's so funny to listen they nobody has a better sense of humor about each other as a couple like I've seen them brutalize each other like the things that would destroy me as a as a member of a couple and they just laugh it off and they're fine I can't believe they're like two goldfish like they just forget the hatred they spew at each other and and uh yeah my wife there so funny together it's like to me that's the relationship that two comedians should have and I could never have one well it' be a great reality show I'm amazing they don't have one because the business stinks that's why the our Show Business stinks that they haven't taken [ __ ] rich and Bonnie um these these two [ __ ] have they ever presented anywhere a million times and they're good at pitching shows and Bonnie is really good at it they're funny in the meetings uh I don't know why they haven't maybe because they don't uh I don't know I was to say maybe they don't I couldn't even think of a follow-up reason the only thing that I could think of is that shows with comedians I mean how many reality shows with comedians have there been Tammy pascatelli had a show for a while remember that I do not um who else has anybody I mean Last Comic Standing is kind of a reality kind of you think it's because comedians are too that would have did it Paulie sh killed the whole [ __ ] genre faked it or is it because Comics are actually consise funny and not situational like comedians are not goofy situation funny like uh oh doesn't realize she's putting pepper on her oatmeal you know like like you know every dumb [ __ ] in a reality show does something stupid I'm gonna look for a watch it's upside down hey it's 6 seven o are my keys you're holding them what yeah and Comics would just dissect Comics are too in the moment this is how dumb we are as comedians we'll say like you know hey what what do you want me to do there's a guy with a camera looking at me why you know we acknowledge too much right I did Family Jewels I roasted Jean and then they wanted me to do this kind of like pseudo reality thing at the end with Jean and his wife and and someone else but of course like a douche I reference the camera guy and like
you're not supposed to mention that he's here oh what maybe that's what it is maybe we're too we don't know how to shut the [ __ ] up I love Jean Simmons I can't watch that show it's just so goddamn fake I love him too I love him I can't watch this I saw him the other day he was at the glory kickbox and fights in LA it was [ __ ] awesome to see him again yeah but however can't watch I there there so much [ __ ] in those shows there's no reality shows every reality show has these fixed scenarios and they're faking [ __ ] that like you would never think they fake like there's C like they were talking about the storage war shows you know they just fill those storages they fill them they set it all up it's all fake no one know open the door we don't even know what's in there what's in that typewriter you [ __ ] put it there they put the whole thing there they put everything in those boxes it's all fake you're hoping that they open one from [ __ ] uh from Hannibal Lector one of his clients nice limo with a [ __ ] head in a jar that'd be that'd be a great oh Hester mfet you know you're hoping it's one of those but yeah you're right it's all fixed and the only real one was the Osborne Sharon said there was no take two ever you have to because it was nine months of filming they don't want to commit to that kind of filming they don't want to take the time it would take cuz I think that my life is fascinating and like wow they but I I look at my life I'm like all right episodic reality show Jim Norton I wake up I go do the radio I come home I go to the gym there's nothing there maybe a couple of funny lines on the radio and me in the gym I'm tired again all right there's a minute of a show killed here's the real show you getting prostitutes I thought of that I tried to pitch that to Vice and they didn't want it I'm like I want to go from yeah look here's the thing like I go from [ __ ] place to place in brothel and I give you reviews and they just like no one they said no well like what's entertaining about finding like me getting [ __ ] everything but they won't show the [ __ ] and the hookers probably wouldn't sign up for it they don't have to have a big blurry thing over everybody's head I here's what I wanted to do this was my my idea for a reality segment I really wanted to do this with
massage girls cuz I I [ __ ] like C like I'm drinking this any type of milk product I'm I'm [ __ ] a horrible farter and I really wanted to take a hidden camera and have Massage Girls come over and somehow like signal the camera when I'm going to cut a gas or like like I'll say beforehand every time I say the word yellow it means I'm about to fart so you you'll see me on there and I'll go like you know like yeah something something yellow and then I'll fart maybe quietly and then you can watch her react but the problem is you can't show the face and and too many of them would say no to that but that's what I wanted to do but how how long would that be interesting Jim farts during massages yeah but you say that people wouldn't like you couldn't go to brothel but you could if the girls were porn stars that's true that is true and I would do that I would love to do that but then I'm like Colin Quinn long time ago remind many many years I first started going to opan Anthony I was dating a British girl and she was a real pervert like I drove a Saturn back then I still lived in Jersey and I used to [ __ ] park outside of dangerfields and she would blow me I would trap she liked me to trap her head under my steering wheel and she would go like I want you to bite me I want you to bite me like she would repeat this this Mantra of me biting her on her back like she like to be bitten and brutalized wow so I would bite her back and she' be like I want you to make me suck it and then I would hold her head under the wheel and she would be trapped under my Saturn steering wheel and [ __ ] she would suck my dick and lick my balls and whatever good kid she was a good girl yeah her name is Ruth she was a really cool girl Ruth yeah good I haven't talked to her in 15 years but she was a great great girl I missed her terribly uh I think she went back across the pond hello as they say and uh what was the point of this story uh oh Colin she was really loud when I ate her [ __ ] really super loud and it was what' she say I don't remember just moaning Jimmy one of those things yeah bite it yeah yeah whatever it was I I be a hooligan with my vagina yeah yeah bait bait my [ __ ] like it's Manchester United you know
what but I can't it was a really loud and her [ __ ] was sloppy [ __ ] wet like it was legit like I knew she wasn't putting on a show cuz her [ __ ] was sloppy but I was going to eat her [ __ ] on the air be you're this before I was do like every day and opot said calling your [ __ ] on the air and I was going to do that and Colin Quinn stopped me and he go you know and he goes you can do that he goes but man you're a comic you got to say funny [ __ ] you don't want to be that guy that does wacky things and I'm like I never forgot that he was almost telling me don't be a stunt boy you got to say it funny you got to sit there and be funny verbally and I I maybe in that case he was right cuz I wasn't the guy the wacko who called up and ate [ __ ] on the air it's like I have to be able to be funny in my delivery and say and I was like H that was kind of a good point looking back in Hein said I probably should have eaten her [ __ ] on the air because it'd be a very funny clip yeah I know what you're saying though or I know what he is saying though you can get stuck in that trap of being the stunt guy having to one up yourself every time like oh no Jim Norton did this crazy thing he put his [ __ ] his finger on his assle it's like I'd rather be the guy that talks about it than the guy that actually demonstrates it and gets the laugh because then if I talk about it people like that's not as funny yeah isn't that a weird thing where people get trapped in that stunt guy thing like there's a lot of those stunt guys that are on radio shows like there was a radio show that I did where they made this guy dress up like a cow and roller skate and jump over a chair and if he didn't jump over the he didn't make over the chair so they had to punish him and so uh like and he was like you just accept whatever punishment they had and the punishment was uh I I choked him unconscious oh God and I go you sure you want to do this he's like I got to do whatever they tell me to do I go really it was like so weird I was like this is a local radio show like like you really have to do this but he was like like he was like a slave like in sort of way like I will do I will do what Master tells me to I will do what they tell me to do so I choked them unconscious a slave for the recognition
of the radio show they just sat there and I put my arms around let me know when you're going to tap out like if you if you can't take anymore just tap out and I'll let you go you ready and he's like yeah and I just squs him out and the weird thing is good luck doing that on regular radio again it's probably a while ago no way one law suit one person dies drinking water you know you're lucky get a [ __ ] a bottle of water in the studio now cuz they all Panic yeah you're letting some guy collapse your [ __ ] windpipe you know like I know how to do it but what if I didn't know how to do it what if I heard him yeah and you know you the UFC sent out a memo or they told us I forget what it was it was official or non-official a few years back two people got sued for taking photos with people where they were choking them in the picture as a joke Matt Hughes got sued and Chuck Liddell got sued both frivolous lawsuits where a guy with I get it all the time guys either say can I choke you out in a picture which I say no and then they say well can you choke me out in the picture like one of those two always comes up yeah and the uh what what that but that to me like what a piece of [ __ ] move that is well one of the guys was a bad cop one of the guys that the Matt Hughes guy they investigated him turned out the dude was like doing something drug related something dirty wind up going to jail oh really yeah because of that because of the investigation that started from him suing mat cuz mat's you know the guy says let me uh will you take a picture choke of me so he's choking the guy and the going like that and takes a picture then takes that photograph and says hey Matt Hughes choked me I want I want to get some money same thing with Chuck lell I think Chuck actually wanted to I don't know if he wanted to paint them but there was a it was a real situation I I always asked those guys to do things I haven't done it in a while whenever they were in studio but it was on video so there was the context of me asking I guess no it was obvious it was and it and you tapped out and it was like I just want want to feel it you know yeah yeah you did it with Fedor I've had Fedor has choked me and punched me he enjoyed it cuz he punched me hard and then he was choking me and I was like all right all right
tap tap tap and he did it again and he smiled and he did it again like he's a [ __ ] he's a really brutal Russian yeah uh Velasquez choked me I think it was a guillotine choke standing Guillotine I think uh brutal and I mean Rhonda [ __ ] armbarred me um I never did anything with liddel ramp it's funny cuz they were before Silva kicked me uh Jon Jones hurt me the worst he [ __ ] Jon Jones put his knee in my uh he Jon Jones's thing he's punched me before choked me [ __ ] yah made me go and stop they've all injured me Jon Jones putting that [ __ ] Shin in my uh thigh like a like or or a knee to the thigh whatever he did it hurt so badly I almost vomited on the floor is Randy choking oh Couture did it too yeah app wowow and Patrice was in studio that day and he said to Randy pretend use the same technique you'd use if you were choking out a clam I forgot that he was there until a clam yeah he really smashed me but uh there was one uh yeah Jones hitting me with the uh the that's the one right there he's choking me now desserts all right you ready okay yeah all right there we go but he does something else too well look at a fatso I am he does something else where he puts his shin in my [ __ ] uh leg did he kick you or did he just just it was kind of like uh I don't know you'll know if we can fast forward to it you'll know what it is if you see it it was so shocking to my system I almost threw up on the console it was it was I almost fainted I I actually walked out of the [ __ ] that was probably a different time I went to the bathroom and threw water in my face W because it was like it was like my whole system overloaded like and he believe me he could have it was you know it was 20% of his strength yeah if that but he was was fight weak never do that [ __ ] there in fight a they're orinary and B they're in [ __ ] combat mode that was a dumb time to do it like you know the first close your eyes I don't I don't want to be combed with my hands go ahead uh right here yeah all right here we go oh no what's he do God this sucks two and three oh leg kicked you yeah that was a leg kick too that a gentle leg kick yeah that was essentially the weight of his shin yeah and his leg and he put something into it but not enough to do
any type of real damage it was just where it was I couldn't believe I reacted that way like my system was like you know that light-headed tingly feeling you get like I'm gonna vomit I'm gonna vomit and then I was like I'm going to pass out I had to go to the bathroom and put water on my face like a [ __ ] like an old lady but that's a that's a really painful technique yes it is it doesn't it's a weird thing because those guys they're so used to fighting off a pain and dealing with the pain and the adrenaline of the fight that a lot of people underestimate the impact of leg kicks I've uh I've learned like you know everyone knows UFC hurts and mixed martial arts is painful but after doing that I've been like it makes you watch the sport differently like like to watch like I'll watch it I my Fighters are those [ __ ] Brazilian like you know those leg kickers man those [ __ ] Jose Aldos or or Barbosa those guys that like like it's slaps oh yeah because After experiencing that I'm like the fact the guy can stand there and still fight after having his leg kicked like that it never ceases to amaz me if they don't immediately collapse and just go home well they don't feel it as much because the adrenaline of the fight but it is unbelievably painful even with the adrenaline and then after it's over like did you ever see the Uriah faor fight where his whole leg after he fought Aldo was swollen to twice the size of his other leg he took all these photos of it and posted them on Twitter like as it was healing it was just a giant purple sausage it was crazy when you see the leg kicks that knock the guy's leg back like when the GU stand there and that leg kick that sweeps like if you kick a guy's leg hard enough to sweep it back where he's almost off balance like man that's a really hard Chihuahua kick and when Silva kicked me I kept trying to get him the kick a little harder cuz he was going so gently he's a nice guy he's a very nice okay you he's such a neat like Pleasant fellow uh and then he just he kicked me slightly harder and and it just Jarred my head when he kicked me in the arm I had a headache for two hours because my head Jarred and I wasn't ready for you know yeah well that's you know one of the places where concussions take place like everyone thinks a concussion is when you get hit in the
head but this doctor was explaining to me that a concussion is anything that happens from your chest up like you can get a like hit really hard in a football match you can get hit really hard like in the chest in a game and you get a concussion because the impact that makes your head bounce around your brain soses around inside your skull and you get a concussion from that so you don't even have to get hit in the head to get a concussion yeah it it's it's every one of those moves hurt a lot and the when you feel the grip that a guy like that puts on you like again Kane is a [ __ ] monster but mean Anyone who puts a grip on you there like it is simply an unbreakable situation I'm in like I am only alive and not [ __ ] in the ass because he's choosing not to do those things it's a really weird feeling to be it it makes you like the maybe the older you get the more aware you are that bad [ __ ] can happen but it makes you very cautious in life like these are the guys that are walking around and like you try not to start confrontations with people for no reason because you don't know who has a pistol that woman who assaulted Anthony had no idea that he's a guy with a gun and lucky for her he's not a maniac with a gun he a [ __ ] talker on Twitter what if he just had a really good leg kick decided to I'm not going to punch abroad but wack yeah but then but then they would have said he struck a woman yeah and then he would have been even probably more [ __ ] cuz there would have been legal proceedings you know she would have said this this why didn't you just show the gun you know very illegal very illegal yes yes especially when you look like [ __ ] really you can't just show it oh you're not supposed to do that first of all a looks like chef from Apocalypse Now nobody wants him to be flashing a joey Cola told me that he was working at Pips in in Brooklyn and some guy in the front row was heckling him and showing him his gun [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] you [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] you're [ __ ] terrible saying all this crazy [ __ ] to him and he goes and I'm up I just got to keep going with my jokes I'm up there telling my jokes you know Joey Kaa nicest guy in the world and he's he's on stage and this guy keeps brandishing his gun Is pips even around anymore it's not
any anymore I just talked to a guy the other night who said he used to own Pips I forget he like we always trying to get you in there I I did it when the Schultz's had it and then I think Ray Garvey took over and Ray Ray died he had stomach cancer did you know Ray or no no I never worked there I did a few spots there I work there either I probably went there with Otto one time and you know whatever because dice was already long gone dice used to do that place a lot that's where he's from Dangerfield all those guys from Pips but uh George Schulz had it Seth Schulz um you know know when Marty and I think Marty and Seth had it when I did it Dangerfield still around it is still going strong I haven't done it in a long time um I used to do that that that was one of the ones that helped me work on my my [ __ ] because you get 25 minutes to go up and I would put some notes on the piano there's that black piano it's a black it reminds me of The Comedy Store and you'd go up and there's a history there and just do your [ __ ] and um I I worked out a lot of [ __ ] material I paid my rent when I lived with Jim Florentine in North Jersey I would do seven spots on a Satur uh Saturday and six on a Friday and I would do Dangerfield seller Dangerfield seller from [ __ ] First Avenue in 60th to Wester and McDougall and I drove and i' would have to park my stupid [ __ ] Saturn and uh you you knew where to park and you know it was a whole system I got into but dangerfields really helped me develop as a comic did you ever do the prom shows there yes I did they were horrible but you were making 75 a set and it was like [ __ ] not bad and you did a lot of sets how many sets we do a night sometimes you do it depend on how many [ __ ] awful uh teenagers are coming in but sometimes maybe three or four a night you can make an extra 300 bucks uh or sometimes just one one of the most painful prom shows ever is I did Carolines years ago and I did a prom set and Willie Tyler and Lester were on the show and you know I knew them from you know solid gold shows it very nice guy and one of the best vent troler Chris ever and he's on stage and it was just not for the kids materal you know it was a little like he's and he's doing some song I Believe I Can Fly you know the [ __ ] puppet singing it's a fun song and these kids from the Bronx
were just not enjoying it it was ugly fly home [ __ ] you suck oh it was horrible I've never and he smiled and kept it professional and didn't acknowledge any of it he would I talk about take your money and and get out that's what he did do you remember Alo Bell sure I do Al Bell alel I heard he had a giant [ __ ] that's what I remember about Alo Bell I've heard he had a big [ __ ] yeah Alo Bell was on stage we're doing prom shows at dangerfields and a kid got on stage as big football player kid came on stage took the microphone from alel and blew cigar smoke in his face had a cigar and he was standing on on stage and all his friends were cheering and no one did anything about it I was like wow that's why I stopped working there not because it didn't happen to me but they wouldn't I didn't feel they took they didn't didn't protect the comics enough from hecklers like they would never call throw people out and that's why I stopped working there well it's very much like The Comedy Store in that way both old sort of Dark Places and both with no crowd control yeah they had one guy do you remember Bobby oh I I met Bobby one time Bobby would take care of [ __ ] I worked with Bobby a lot he was a Scottish guy who was about 5 fo8 wide and 5 foot eight tall he was a [ __ ] tank this guy but he wasn't fat right he was like a bull well you know he wasn't the skinniest guy in the world but he was a power lifter and he was strong as [ __ ] and something happened I forget what it was but I saw him pick a guy up by his neck he literally grabbed this guy by the back of his neck and picked him up like a kitten like he had his hand on this guy's neck hoisted him up out of his chair grabbed his belt and just carried him out and the guy just went limp like feeling how strong Bobby was he just like [ __ ] this he just completely went limp and Bobby carried him outside and tossed him yeah he's a legendary guy Bob uh everyone loved him whatever happened to that guy he died oh he died a long time ago yeah he died many years ago I think uh he die of don't know actually he was out I think Tony's son Tony who ran it with Rodney his son took over for a while and I haven't seen his son Darren in many years either but he was the guy I kind of got to know yeah I
knew Darren was Darren and um Bobby I only met once when I went in there with somebody a that sucks that that guy died that yeah man I heard that he never got to new and I kind of wish I did he was such a vibrant character I can't believe he died well I know him and the kid him and Darren had a falling out right the kid right that was what he called it right yeah the kid the buger shite everything everything was a buger shite no Talent bag sh you go up there they you tricked them again Rogan like every time we go if I had good laughs he would say oh you tricked them again Rogan comedians said he was funnier than any of the comics too he was very funny he was very very funny he was a hilarious guy I I enjoyed that guy very much I would go there looking forward to seeing him I'm bummed that uh I never got to work the old catch either with lisis fand was there I went in there a couple times I might have done one set there but I never worked there the catch on Second Avenue that was my first set I ever did in New York catch yeah I did when I was uh auditioning for susman I did some sets in Boston then he had me come out to New York and audition out there and the first set I ever did in New York I was [ __ ] terrified out of my mind was at catch I I got there early I drove down from Boston wandered around the neighborhood [ __ ] in my pants terrified I just I always had this thing in my head about doing standup in New York for whatever reason I just thought that New York was harder the people were smarter when I got on stage I realized they were just people you know but but up until that moment I was like they're living in the city these are people that live in the city you know New York City it has this air about it this very intimidating air well because you know comedians they think like well New York's the big city if you work there you're there's this illusion or this diluted nature people have the People The Comedians in New York are smarter some of them are like you know you get a tell and Colin who are geniuses and then you but you have plenty of shitty hack of audiences plenty of fing I mean the comedy is my home and it's my favorite place in the world and you'll still have a bachelorette part I was on stage maybe a few months ago killing on a Saturday like really one of those sets that you
just [ __ ] hammering and right before I get off these [ __ ] middle-aged bachelorettes one of them go say something funny it's like no matter where you are no matter how good your show is you know there's always element thank God I was killing I really brutalized her it was good for you I wish I was there I couldn't I couldn't have said [ __ ] faster if I had been if I had been programmed to say it at that moment it flew out so naturally and beautifully which during a bad set is a bad thing because then the crowd totally agrees with the person but in that moment that you know is there anything better than calling someone a [ __ ] and [ __ ] crowd cheers like oh yeah the angry bachelorette party attendance do you record your sets I do every one I videotape on a little uh on a little uh GoPro oh you videotape them all oh yeah just to to because I'm more creative when I do that cuz I know like if I want to improv on something I will because I'm taping it so I know I'll have it um right I record everything audio I just use my iPhone I put it on the I have all but it is good to see yourself too well it's also easier to go forward I could zip through it a little bit easier and uh you know where stuff is I know where stuff is in my iPhone like I don't trust that being out that's got to stay in the pocket because there's just too much [ __ ] on there that it cannot be lost there's tooo many inexplicable photos but the NSA has your photos let them have them they not you know they're not buying tickets to see me have you seen that [ __ ] new revelation that came out today that Edward Snowden was saying that they were passing the uh NSA guys were passing back and forth naked photographs they got through uh searches they would also do searches on their ex-girlfriends and and you know cuz they had access wow yeah so they'd find compromising photos and they would share them with each other they would send them like send this one to Tom and Tom would send that one to Billy look what Bobby found you know and these people that they were investigating I don't know naked terrorist shots some chicken a burer with a big hairy Beaver oh really I don't know yeah I'm guessing I don't you know it's funny my my views on the NSA is as bad as they are we have
that's what we deserve we're the nosiest [ __ ] culture all we do is is mind everybody's business there's nothing an American loves more than to stick our [ __ ] face in somebody's privacy and it made me so happy when that [ __ ] happened cuz it was like good you [ __ ] where were you all these years defending people's right to be [ __ ] and private we're voyers we love it and now when it's turned on us we don't like it did you see the newest one about the British spies manipulating poles yes online polls and YouTube hits and videos yeah yeah I mean it's literally everything that Alex Jones has been saying for years that everybody's been calling him crazy he's Vindicated I mean he's been saying that the the propaganda machine they really the they're they're using government propaganda and all sorts of hacking tools it's really a fascinating thing a collection of hacking tools some of which are specifically suited for spreading disinformation were exposed in a leaked 2012 document provided by Snowden to the intercept this is online publication led by gr Glen Greenwall the journalist blah blah blah blah blah blah blah so I mean they they uh underpass a tool that lets government change the outcome of online polls they can change the out of online polls uh Bombay it can increase website hits and rankings so they can increase website hits change online polls amplifications of given for propaganda amplification of a given message normally video on a popular multimedia website uh Gateway which will artificially increase traffic to a website slipstream which will uh infiltrate page views on a website so what they could do is they could put up a website make that website look super popular make it look like it's it's gone viral there's something that that that Alex is not explaining there if that's where that's from no it's not Alex it's coming from Snowden I did I did a um Redeye the other night uh do you ever have Mike Baker on your podcast he used to be in the CIA no and now he's not Mike hates snow because he was a CIA guy but he's a really interesting he said something about just in passing Mike was talking about these websites and boosting the hits up and he goes that people don't understand that we really are still engaged in in it he goes I
know it's not popular say that there's a bad guy but there is and he goes then you build these [ __ ] sites and you you know because you build them because you want to develop relationships and that hadn't occurred to me that certain sites are made to look more popular that the government is running and then the people that come to them who are actually involved in that type of [ __ ] you now see who's coming to these sites and then where they're going and you develop relationships with these people and you get to know them that way and it it's not always just about propaganda and selling a lot of it is stuff that we'll never find out about but he he would explain it much better just in that little moment it made me see something that I hadn't considered like I'm sure they're doing dirty [ __ ] with it too like those photos and and again I know the government's propaganda driven but there's also legit uses for it that I think might have been compromised there's definitely legit uses for it but what snowden's point was with that you're having these 18 to 22y old kids and you're giving them this massive amount of responsibility right and that it's just not cool and there's very little oversight he's like it's very little oversight in these offices yeah I mean what was Baker's uh what was his argument against Snowden what Snowden did I've only SE this is he's on red eyee a lot and uh he hates him because I I only saw a little piece of it on the episode we did together but Mike's a really logical you'd love him like he's a great talker he's funny he's like he's not some you know he's not some uh propaganda spewing [ __ ] he's got his talking points but he's a really smart dude I think you'' love to have him I would love to have him I would love to hear what the argument against Snowden is because in my opinion what he was doing was something what what he released was information that let the American people know that the government was doing something that's unconstitutional and they were doing it and they were doing it like they had the right to do it and they're going to continue to have the right to do it they're going to continue and if they catch him they're going to lock him in jail for exposing in a way everything that Obama said when he was running for
office he said that they were going to have greater protection of whistleblowers anybody that was showing that they were doing something that that someone was doing something that was illegal he was going to protect them meanwhile they they had to release they had to delete that off of his website because they kept it up until like a year and a half ago then finally you know people started pointing it out when all the Snowden [ __ ] was going down the hope and change website and they finally redacted it all but yeah it's it's a very weird because I get I agree with you I think that that what he did in to a certain degree is really good like I don't want the government having that ability my point of view on it I I'm so disgusted with the public and I'm so disgusted with what voyers we are and how we refuse to acknowledge that and how we sit there and judge people like Donald Sterling all right the guy's a [ __ ] obviously but the way everyone sits there and [ __ ] self-righteously judges this guy and I I love the fact that he's a [ __ ] miserable parrot voiced 81-year-old who now wants to [ __ ] hire private investigators to go after every NBA owner and uncover [ __ ] it's like they none of them stood tall and said look this guy's a piece of garbage but you know what I've said a lot of ugly things in my private life too and what he said was minor compare the privacy of his own home there was no racial slurs what he said is don't bring these black guys around don't take pictures with them while he's trying to [ __ ] this chick by the way he's just trying to get past all this and [ __ ] her he's like I mean that's is what he said when he was talking about he goes look I was trying to get laid I was telling her look don't bring these guys around he even said to her if you want to [ __ ] him [ __ ] him is he my favorite person no is he a racist probably is he a piece of [ __ ] by all accounts sure but so what how do you find a guy 2.5 million dollar for telling his girlfriend not to bring black guys around to games that's crazy right it's his girlfriend he's not saying you don't associate with those people because they are below human he's not saying anything crazy and racist he's like look you're bringing guys around that are definitely going to [ __ ] you and it makes me look bad yeah that's
all he's saying that's all he's saying and even if he was being a creepy racist even if he was the fact that it was in private and B they they got the I think in California there's only two states one party uh notification States I'm thinking they're New York is one yeah and or Nevada and and I think that uh the fact that was illegally obtained information yeah and again I I think the guy Abdul Jabar wrote a [ __ ] genius article on uh why this guy should have been gone after before for a lot of the housing discrimination and stuff but not for this and no one gave a [ __ ] when it was that but now that it's language they're going after him yeah and then they're using the housing discrimination stuff to justify they're going after him about this like no look the housing discrimination stuff is [ __ ] your right if you want to find him for that then it should be some sort of other organization not the NBA NBA just reacted again they panicked they reacted quickly and not one of these owners has a clean [ __ ] backyard none of maybe they haven't said racist stuff but a lot of them have probably [ __ ] around on their wives a lot of them have probably said sexist stuff so I love the fact that Sterling's going to hire a uh but but this is like how dirty it gets when people aren't honest about our own ugliness like and that's why when a guy like Snowden does what he does it's like ah the NS the NSA yeah they're shitty but [ __ ] the public because the public didn't stand up in in in in the [ __ ] defense of privacy when it was Donald Sterling we only care about it when it's ourselves and if we were a public that would never have tolerated that from the government they wouldn't do it like you know or they would they would do it and be terrified to do it knowing that we were going to revolt but they know that we'll just take it cuz we're nosy [ __ ] and we don't really bother we like we like invading people's privacy and tiger woods' text messages oh we can't get enough of Mel Gibson's voicemails with [ __ ] scumbags just sitting home ringing our hands have you ever heard what sociologists say about that when it comes to gossip and things along those lines they believe that we we no longer have communities like we used to have when we were tribal organizations when we were groups of 50
to 150 200 people small groups and then we used to know each other's business cuz we had to be aware we had to know who was a good guy who was a bad guy we had to talk exchange and we also had to figure out what other people liked and tolerated what was accepted in our community and now we don't really have these sort of relationships with our neighbors anymore and so celebrity gossip gossip it's in the news whenever someone is doing something it becomes extra juicy to us because we don't we don't have this normal communication amongst the people that you know we we have in you know our local community that yeah that is true I mean who do you know in your building um almost no it's funny as we speak Obama's in my building in New York doing a fundraiser he doesn't live there building he's in my my apartment building yeah can you get in there while he's there or is it some [ __ ] pain in the dick I probably could I mean it's he might be gone already he was some Democratic fundraiser but I don't know I don't know the point is I don't know the neighbor he's seeing he's probably seeing some one of the neighbors for a fundrais and I have no idea who it is how annoying I would love to be there though it's be kind of fun just to be in the elevator with him him meio Kaku together oh meio Kaku [ __ ] who I saw the other day by the way walking into the building and I'm like hi he literally if a [ __ ] rabbit ran by he would have recognized it more than me who he sat as close as we are and talked he's a genius but he's a [ __ ] weird dude he's a very weird dude oh hi hi he's always frightened always make fun of because he refuses to like you just can't say hello hi Dr Kaku hi he's just so how many times have you been assaulted that you're so timid when people say hello to you he gets [ __ ] on by other scientists you know well he oversimplifies it like I like uh I like uh Brian Green is the guy's name and so like uh Neil degrass Tyson great cuz they they simplify it because we are dumbbells in comparison to them but they don't talk to us like we're complete bther like you know Dr Kaku breaks it down like you know and if you look at it like everyone is a lemon drop it's like all right I I don't have a [ __ ] PhD you but I understand that you know cells
exist you can we can find somewhere in the middle to you know yeah I don't know why doesn't Dr Steve get upset at him oh yeah Dr Steve is my favorite I love he's the [ __ ] best because he you know he took physics he's another brilliant guy brilliant and uh hey yeah I just don't like him you he just can't yeah he's just a [ __ ] idiot you know he just uh he knows he's smart but he doesn't like the way Dr Steve will I mean Dr Dr Kaku will kind of I guess I guess they look at him like we would look at a comedian doing girl fart jokes on TV he's ack like oh no look at he's got the puppet the puppet saying naughty things oh boy he's great is there anything worse than when people will come up to you and go like oh and I love this comedian and you're like I want to just bite your [ __ ] nose off the worst you were so funny but you know who my favorite is and you go oh you just ruined everything or my favorite joke of yours and they'll like name a joke that you're like oh Christ that was the [ __ ] joke I should be my throat slit for that was from 1996 yeah can't believe anyone remembers it I'm sad yeah I used to do a joke about getting a Woody and I called it a woody you ever remember your old stuff and just die a little death remember it it's online you can watch it there's a video of me from Carolines not Carolines uh Rascals Oh wow was the TV show yeah wearing terrible clothes telling terrible jokes wallpaper shirt yeah I've got a a recording somewhere of like my third or fourth time ever on stage I have like a whole stack of [ __ ] that I saved and one of them is like the third or fourth time I was ever on stage it's a cassette recording it's just hot death good stuff Hot Death it's great you have it though I get yes I've looked at it in fear for [ __ ] 20 years it's It's oddly humiliating and exposing when you see that stuff like I wonder if other performers look at their old [ __ ] like we did a thing on o Anda where we I'm sure you may have heard some of it where we brought in our old tapes and got killed for it this back on NW and I brought in a tape of me from 1993 where I had like 20 minutes of material and I was a [ __ ] please love me happy go-lucky high energy fraud how we doing like it's the type of it's it's
it's it's humiliating in a weird level I have like purple pants and I I us yeah exactly they were [ __ ] uh they were like those uh workout pants from the from the the 80s like those uh whatever they were with the velcro front and I would bring an enema in a bag on stage and talk about because enemas were addicting and I would it was it's you wouldn't even be friend Colin Quinn told me like he's like it's hard for me to look at you like listening to this I can't acknowledge and this was in we did this in in 2000 so was 17 years after I had done it wow but I the guys that came in to to talk about my tape were Colin Patrice and Voss were the guys that dissected my tape and it was one of the most Savage assaults of all time and we did voss's tape too when he had the [ __ ] bad teeth and the greasy long locks Voss looked like a rat he you see Voss his old head shot oh that's right that's right boss back then he was I was a fast talker [ __ ] please love me oh hunched over like I used to smoke a lot of pot like oh I met Voss I think in 90 or 91 we were all terrible then though I mean that's just one thing that I I always stress to every comedian no one starts out good they just don't you know they just don't everyone sucks at first and especially when you're young cuz you don't have [ __ ] to say when I was 21 what who the [ __ ] am I to be talking you know I don't have anything to say the only thing that I had to say about anything that was funny at all was sex because it's the only thing I knew I mean everything I knew besides that I mean what did I know about politics what did I know about the way the world worked what did I know about anything I had no opinions about anything yeah but it's it wasn't even the bad jokes I had it wasn't even the poorly written Jokes which they were it was the [ __ ] Behavior the wacky character like the lack of connection to who I am as a person that just it makes you want to [ __ ] it it I want to smash my face when I watch that like how did you allow yourself to do this like not just not be there's Vos oh my God so crazy with his perm look at his gold chains he looks like [ __ ] Joanie from happy days when she was in her early 30s look that
[ __ ] creepy perm oh what an awful person there's a funny connection that we all have to each other we've all gone through the early days of Comedy you know there's there's something that it's always going to be a weird bond that we all have with each other and we all knew each other back in those days I remember the first time I met you I remember where we worked I remember you is my first memory of Rogan was we were working in the upper deck I think I've told look at terrible they were terrible he's gapping them that's creepy that's the Voss I met but that by the way that Voss the guy you're looking at that ugly awful Voss was a [ __ ] machine really um machine and he would get girls like just to suck his dick in front of me or he would try to get them to suck my dick Vos was the [ __ ] team player of all time like he's got more assists than almost anybody in the business he would get girls to just come in the closet and look at my dick he was a great friend closet and look at his dick he's a good dud he was a great guy he get [ __ ] on a lot Budd he he's the best Voss is the [ __ ] one of the best guys I've ever known so where did we meet uh Upper Deck it was a pat gini gig I think Upper Deck where's that in uh Lake a pacan New Jersey wow and you were on stage doing a bit about Tyson and Robin given and you said something about imagine you walking and it's my Ty I'd like to talk to you for a second please and I just remember that line from your act I don't remember you had a lot of energy and you were you you were very like a powerful performer but I remember that line for some reason from your act wow I don't even remember that line it's probably 92 93 wow back in the day it's a fascinating thing to go through isn't it you know yes I again damn dude I'm the I've been holding it I'm the this why I have to fly aisle I you have a bladder yeah I do and I thought I you know by the way Patrice have aad Patrice told me [ __ ] uh he he says to me he goes you know you have to be checked for diabetes CU I flew to La for the first time with Patrice and the TW wa was a 747 there those two seats and I took the window and let that [ __ ] Behemoth have the aisle seat and I had to keep crawling over him and Patrice who was diabetic said uh you
know you got to get checked for diabetes man you piss so much and he [ __ ] freaked me out and I don't have it I just have to piss by drink a lot of water a lot of water a lot of caffeine uh I drank a diet coke before and the caffeine does something to my [ __ ] bladder kills does Mike Goldberg drinks a lot of those red bulls and when we work together that guy gets up and pisses like six seven times during a broadcast I've wonder how you guys do that by the way how do you not just jump up and piss every two minutes but I guess I never noticed that he did I can just hold it really yeah I don't know what it is that dick muscle boo I got a great dick muscle son yeah I work that [ __ ] out um I don't know what it is I can just like I do three-hour podcasts it's very rare that I have to pee during a three-hour podcast unless I drank a lot of stuff before the show you know but if you drink any of those red BS or those Monster energy drinks those will do me if I drink one of those go ahead go go this coffee by the way is delicious it's awesome and right to the bathroom that's caveman coffee it's [ __ ] great caveman Coffee Company um yeah I don't know what it is man but those Monster energy drinks whatever it is in those torine or whatever the [ __ ] the caffeinated aspect of them I've always had good good like a good bladder I guess like I've never I don't have to pee that much like I could drink this whole thing this Trenta iced coffee and I'm now I drink a cocoa cafe after it and I still haven't peed all day you know those Coco cafes are goddamn delicious they're great aren't they if no one's ever had those before what they are is it's uh and they don't pay us I just want to let you know just they they're just yummy tastes like a yooo it's coconut water and uh espresso mixed together they have different flavors now oh and good googly moly it's delicious hey can I pump a next week uh Comic Con uh we we're uh we're bringing ComicCon down to Comic uh at the American Comedy Company yeah what day is that it's uh July 23rd 3D and July 24th uh we have uh kill Tony we have thunder [ __ ] and we also have a comedy show on the 24th with Bert ker and excellent F excellent and uh I am uh on the 25th I'm going to be at the San Jose Center for the Performing Arts with Tony Hinchcliffe uh
this weekend I'm at um Wise Guys in Salt Lake City but it's all sold out [ __ ] I want to go there sorry suck it I heard that place is cool yeah I heard it's cool too Joey keeps saying it's awesome um everybody I know that's been there and you you worked at Salt Lake City right I have yes very good room um The Wise Guys yeah I feel sorry for those people living in Salt Lake City surrounded by all those Mormons but it's beautiful there and Mormons are nice if you're going to be around religious Nutters those are the people yeah they're not mean people at all Bella Donna's a Mormon she was I mean b was was yeah while she was getting it no she probably she I think they probably frowned on that career decision you think yeah I don't know why though did she retire yes she did do you say like was sadness like it was like a [ __ ] like Babe Ruth retired you know I just haven't seen her in a while did it yeah she made that she made a really I was the luckiest girl on the face of the Earth the old Gary Cooper [ __ ] spee little little gar for you I just wonder if she can hold in turd still that's my only question I want to know cuz you know she was getting baseball bats up her [ __ ] yeah she no up her ass she baseball bat in her ass did she really yes that's cool yeah there's a that's cool there's a video of it and it's it's just so weird to watch it's like okay there you go hey women have babies though and they don't piss all over the place like I guess you can still yeah but that's an [ __ ] her baseball bat went in her [ __ ] right why he say holding turds I'm like I guess those muscles re you know I guess but people do have problems people that like engage in those activities really do uh have problems stretching out their their anus muscles oh my I can take a little bit of a finger and I can't take anything else I was uh dating this chick and uh her roommate had sex with uh her boyfriend and he [ __ ] her in the ass and uh her sphincter must have relaxed and she [ __ ] on him while they were sleeping and uh she [ __ ] the bed oh wow she [ __ ] on his dick a little bit I don't know and anyway he got up and you know he's like H and the door slammed and the guy was like standing in the hallway like this I'll never forget this poor [ __ ]
this poor and you know the girl is dating telling me what happened I'm like Oh no I got [ __ ] in my mouth this year I told you that that's that's horrible I never you what happened I was eating a girl's ass out who was on ecstasy for her first time and then she [ __ ] in my mouth cuz you couldn't feel it yeah I can see that happening you don't want an accidental one cuz that's not going to be a good one no it wasn't solid either I think I would have preferred a solid yeah a solid one is there something about a solid one you're like hey this kind of looks like a [ __ ] you know a smoke stack there's something cool about it but this is not a subject really into but there is a woman this German woman who does [ __ ] porn where people [ __ ] on her and she's like the queen of [ __ ] porn don't ask me how I know this somebody posted it on my message board and I followed a [ __ ] a link hole I went from link to link to link till I got to her site and watch some of her videos what's her site good egg.com [Laughter] winner winner winner [ __ ] dinner and it's just people [ __ ] in her mouth and she's covered in [ __ ] and it's she she eats it it's making me swallow like sure hry no no no no throwing up it's making me uh extra salivate thinking about how disgusting it was when she was just eating logs that were coming out this guy's ass yeah guy's ass guy shit's got to be awful she says it's better she says it's spicier cuz men eat more meat and she was like explaining yeah I don't want who wants a spicy log she's sitting there smoking cigarettes explaining in German why she loves eating [ __ ] and she she's got a like a stomach of a billy goat she never gets sick and she fills herself up with [ __ ] and that's great you know but this is like the thing is there's so many types of people out there in this world there's there's no normal there's like expectations of normality there's like a spectrum and they F most people fall into like this area but there's enough people out there that like watching her eat [ __ ] that she makes a living eating [ __ ] she has a website eating [ __ ] she's a member section she's famous for it they're interviewing her ask asking her questions they're using a camera I mean it's like the whole deal it's like she's
you know there's a there's a not it's not one person that likes watching or eat [ __ ] is a whole group well the funny thing is too that like when you think like the fact that she smokes on top of it like if there's anything that can make your breath worse than [ __ ] eating some [ __ ] some Nazis logs [ __ ] having a cigarette afterwards you imagine burps the [ __ ] cigarette [ __ ] burps yeah craft services [ __ ] coffee and tuna salad just really awful stuff oh God [Music] I'm I'm I am almost throwing up thinking about this see her sneezes like a brown brown spray it's a little awful a spray you had fiber if you had like a cheesecloth in front of her you could see you know she can make a raar shark painting for you yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] is probably not good coming out remember when we were kids it was really hard to find anything even remotely [ __ ] up like did you when you were a kid did you see we're about I'm 46 45 I'll be 46 in two days I'll be 47 in August did you um did you see Barnyard Betty and any of those things uh remember those yeah the animal [ __ ] stuff yeah sure was a video and a buddy had it and we went over to his house and watched it and like one of us had to watch the door cuz was in the basement we were hovering over the V like one person had to watch the door to let us know if anybody was coming and then we were standing in front of this VCR this TV with a VCR attached it watching this really grainy video of this chick like you know very mild sure beastiality very mild like blowing a donkey not aggressively not really that into it you know she was having sex with a pig in some weird way and a German shepherd and it was kind of [ __ ] but it was so mild in comparison to what kids see today you ever wonder what kind of an impact that's having on them it's got be freaking you out if if if you're like when I saw some hardcore poring pictures the dirty movie but if you're seeing a beheading video or or legitimate car crash stuff where where where hardcore [ __ ] is just the normalist thing you're going to see online like yeah it's got a jade I think that's why maybe school shooting I'm not blaming video game but when people be do
become a certain desensitized to things um I probably sound like I'm criticizing every message I've ever given but I do think that that has something to do with desensitizing you it must have something to do with it you can't can't say that that's the cause for someone doing something abor someone doing something horrible and violent but you see so much violence and it becomes an option you know if you didn't know what a gun was you didn't know what you know a school shooting was if it didn't exist it wasn't on the table it wouldn't be something that people considered you know but because the fact we have guns we know about guns because of the fact that we know about school shootings people think you know what my [ __ ] life is terrible I'm all [ __ ] up on anti-depressants I'm going to go shoot up my school you know it is it all those things do factor into the possibility of someone doing something but you can't blame those things it's like I've said that I think that we have a gun problem a mental health problem rather disguised as a gun problem that's what I think it is more than anything because you can give a lot of people guns and they would never do anything wrong right but then you give you know one [ __ ] one one like who was the kid Lono Lono Adam Lonzo his uh Lonzo what the [ __ ] his name was his mother had the gun around the you know it's like even you're not the crazy person even if your kid is the [ __ ] wide-eyed you know me me me [ __ ] bag that he was the [ __ ] P I hate the pupil in the middle of the eye with white all around it I know some people get mad at me that's a real condition shut up so sick of people getting upset they shouldn't generalize he had a weird pupil oh yeah no but I'm seeing a lot of these look ader eyes Aderall eyes Aderall eyes that's how I know somebody's on Aderall is when you look at you can see the white around their eyeball you know that's cuz are just like this yeah like oh I see what you're saying it's always some wacko you can see that [ __ ] like Garfield you know I'm sure plenty of people don't have that aren't mentally ill who have that but the the nuts I've seen all have that well W being widey being accelerated being on amphetamines or you know when you when you're putting kids on Rin you're putting kids on
Aderall and all these different those are stimulants you know one of the things that they use to treat ADHD and add those are stimulants you know you're you're you're jacking kids up on all kinds of crazy [ __ ] and that's just that's just those things what about the things they put them on that are anti-depressants and all these things that don't have a long history of you're radically altering human neurochemistry radically altering it on a daily basis with really hardcore chemicals that's the one thing that nobody likes to talk about when it comes to these school shootings you know the causation you know not me correlation of causation or whatever the [ __ ] that term is that that you can't necessarily connect them you you can necessarily connect them you you can't say it's the 100% of the cause but when 90% of all the people that are School shooters are on anti-depressants or are coming off of anti-depressants suffering with withdrawal of anti-depressants at what point in time did they start looking at these chemicals that radically alter the way people react to stress the way people react to life itself the way people react to negative influences like I I had a friend that was on Zoloft and she said that when she was on it she didn't care about anything like she was going to write a book called I lost a year of my life about being on zoff cuz for a year nothing bothered her nothing bothered her and you would think that someone who's a [ __ ] psycho that you put them on that [ __ ] it's also not going to bother them to kill people I mean it just totally makes sense right yeah I they want to put in rhy when I was a kid oo but uh my parents I think said no thank God they like me being creative yeah isn't that funny man do you having a lot of extra energy and anxiety that people can misinterpret that as like oh we got to medicate this kid to make him quote unquote normal yeah I was a weirdo I mean you know I was a little [ __ ] weirdo yeah but that's how you make a comedian it is true yes nobody nobody brings that up you know no no one ever brings that up in school like you know Jimmy the way you're look like I I there's a a gal who works at this office that I go to that's very funny she's always saying really funny [ __ ] so I asked her today I go I
go how come you're not a comedian have you ever thought about being a comedian and she goes no I go you're you're a comedian you just never done it like you you've got all the traits right you know you're always you're quick with wit you're always trying to make people laugh you're always like she says creative [ __ ] she's very funny like why don't you why don't you become youever thought about it she's like no I was like well think about it how old is she 28 oh okay not too late I go you were 38 I'd tell you to give it up but 28 you still to kill Tony I'll put her up I don't think she's ready you know I mean you plant seeds like that in someone's head and who knows what they're going to take but there's a lot of people out there that that is what they could do and they probably have a skill they probably have a talent rather they just never been uh encouraged nobody encourages you to do that yeah has any guidance counselor ever said to a kid you should be a stand-up comic you like doing drugs look you never show up on time you you don't do your homework you're funny go be a comic yeah they never encourage you to get in the you're right you know if your music they encourage you to take music class uh well they probably consider that part of the Arts the drama well take a class and see if you're standup comedy is one of the least respected art forms that's most loved yeah as far as like the the process of becoming a standup comedian the option of becoming a stand-up comedian is so often like my own parents my parents didn't have a hard time with me kickboxing but they they didn't want me to do comedy they were like you're doing comedy like you're not funny this is going to be terrible yeah there's something intangible about comedy that just scares people well they feel like you're going to be a loser you're going to be a loser you're not because no one wants to be the one who bombs and just to see someone you love up there making an ass out of themsel and not being funny like uh how awful is it for a girl to go out with a guy she's dating who consistently sucks on stage that's got to be that's just got to make her not want to [ __ ] him for sure awful well I've brought dates to shows and I bombed you could feel it they just didn't want
to have nothing to do with me you just feel it and you know back in the day when when I first started I could have bombed I I would have a good set you know maybe three two three sets in a row and then every fourth or fifth set easily could go into the toilet easily so you take a girl with you to a oh boy that was taking a risk I never do it I mean now I'll do it come see me at the seller but I'm working on stuff or whatever on the nights that I'm there I hate bringing people to shows especially when you're working on stuff cuz when you're working on stuff you're not trying to do the best show as much as you're trying to get material and like form it and get it together and you'll sacrifice a few minutes oh yeah you know I mean I I I worked on a new bit last night and I I knew I'm like while I'm doing this I'm like this is Virgin Territory it's completely new bit I don't know where it's going and if someone was there to see you who knows how you going to pull out of that you might not pull out well yeah so I I warn them though I'm like it's going to be by I'm clearing my throat cu the the butter it's [ __ ] I love it but it makes me [ __ ] sound like [ __ ] Ian Watkins on the stand yeah it's probably not the best thing to serve people on a show where they talk for three hours no no here have some cottage cheese goggle with this and then talk for three hours [ __ ] it oh can I before I'm going to forget can I plug my show real quick I keep D I'm really bad at the plugs I can't do it naturally so I have to just stop the flow of everything plug people want to hear it I'm doing a talk show on Vice which is why I'm out in Los Angeles right now I hear and uh it comes out next Wednesday the 23rd um you know it's a talk show that I host and what is it it's just me doing a monologue and uh a little sketch and then interviewing guests and my first guests were actually Dana and my Tyson together wow they uh what a [ __ ] favor Dana did me man Tyson yeah they were great they were really great and did you do it in front of an audience yeah live audience where um in New York wow we did four pilot episodes and uh it was it was a very odd thing because I wanted the crowd on top of me like the audience is like from where you are to me on top like I wanted it like comedian
style so uh the camera angles they had to it was hard for us to edit anything because it was supposed to be a 30 minute show but I want up talking to these guys it went like an hour and 20 so we had to chop down to an hour they let me make it an hour pilot episode is it for vice.com or is it vice.com so it's all going to be online yeah yeah beautiful it comes out the 23rd and then there's going to be one a week for four weeks and hopefully people like the different shows and you know the monologues I'm allowed to kind of say what I want to say they they didn't creatively [ __ ] with me at all that's awesome man they were they were great I mean everywhere you go they're telling you don't say this and you know it's very frustrating for comedian well Shane Smith is one of my favorite people ever yeah he's an animal love he's an absolute [ __ ] animal yeah he he sent me a [ __ ] we were going back and forth he was texting me trying to get me to go to Africa with him I was like [ __ ] are you out of your [ __ ] mind he wants me to go to some new island that some Island rather that they have where they've taken all these monkeys and apes that they experimented with and shot up with diseases and AIDS and all this and they've dropped them off when they've done with their experimenting they they bring them to some Island so there's an island like a Planet of the Apes Island that's filled with all these monkeys and apes that have gone through all these medical experiments and he wanted me to go there with him I'm like [ __ ] that is the last place I'm going man if you want me to go to the Bahamas and and drink my ties with Anthony Bourdain I'm in I'm not I'm not going to an AIDS infected Monkey Island yeah how about Shane invites you somewhere fun you want to go get blown all right he doesn't want to go anywhere fun let's go to the Ukraine [ __ ] you let's go to North Korea not happening dude he's the one that interviewed uh uh [ __ ] General but naked and all those I'm like what are you doing there like send another guy no he's gangster as [ __ ] he gets dirty yeah he really does and it's like I don't think there's anybody on top of a company of that size that is going to those places I'm hoping he stops doing that he's not going to stop doing it he's in the he was
somewhere crazy the other day he was like in the Ukraine or something he doesn't give a [ __ ] he he goes to all those places and it's part of his life and he comes back with a [ __ ] burden bro he's come straight from the airport right here and started drinking and we've done podcast together and it's you could feel the burden on him you know like yeah what is that uh this is Jim's uh show promos I don't like promos I like them hi I'm Jim Norton be sure to watch my brand new show on Vice reviews have been [Laughter] mixed great how could you not like that oh you like it okay beautiful thank you that was a legit laugh I I I uh I I col the best expression Colin ever did was shame spiral I can't watch myself and ever I can't watch myself I get [ __ ] humiliated that's one of the reasons why you're really good you know it's hard I don't like watching myself either it's you know it's whenever I sit down on a radio show like they used to do it on krock every time I would do it I would sit down they would play this whole thing of a bunch of clips of my standup and then out a context just punch lines like stop don't do you're making me uncomfortable stop it don't do it don't play it you just made me feel a lot better though thank you cuz that was all day I was panicking about that promo going up I'm like nobody's going to laugh at it I get promo viws have been mixed I did another promo with [ __ ] with with with Tyson and then and of course Dana's in it and I'm like that one I felt more secure with but this was just me I'm like no one will like it like great thank you Joe that made me feel a lot better is that girl naked in the background it's hard to say cuz the TV's no she has a bra on our con connection is we have to fix that make HD to the TV skin color bro it's kind of hard to say it looks like she's nak it's [ __ ] whatever it is [ __ ] hilarious that made me feel a lot betters have been mixed I was really genuinely panicking look I'm a child I'm fan of people throwing up I hosted Fear Factor for six years throwing up to me is always funny it is right it is kind of for me yeah I don't know I mean just the Ridiculousness of it all you sitting on the edge of the bed or throwing up in a
bucket I'm in they and they and I'll say this they Eddie merti and know he's like no I think that's the best one we should lead with and I was against it I was like no I don't think so and it's like sometimes people just I I have to remember that there are people that see things from the outside that are that are no [ __ ] that I don't know right and have a better eye than I do and it's like you know how you're married to your stuff man when you're performing or whatever and it's like there's people that can just see things and like detach from the emotion of it and going clearly like no this is the way to start like I was wrong about that and he was right and it's like it's it's really hard for me to think in those terms that I don't know what the [ __ ] I'm always talking about it's hard too when you're going over your material when you're editing like a special you lose the idea of what's funny and what's not funny you see the bits too many times and they get they get really blurry sometimes it gets real confusing and you get offend I'm a very bad collaborator like we had to edit the the the interview with with Dana and Mike and I loved all of it because it was honest and funny and free flowing and you know Tyson was hilarious and Dana was [ __ ] great and it was like we had to chop it just CU I 40 minut CU I went 40 minutes over it's the internet but the way they're they're letting me do it it was they've already doubled hell on they're letting me do it I'm okay with that a lot and some of it was just literally we were throwing to we had to do a couple of throws cuz the way Vice releases a video is they'll have more than one part to it they just master that [ __ ] so I forgot to do that I during the interview I I didn't do that so we had to go we just got to get a couple of pickups which we needed so we had to get like all right we'll be right back watch this so we had to tape them at the end and then we're doing that and we're talking about something but what we're talking about um I had to take this pick up and put it in the middle just a couple of minor things but I got so [ __ ] territorial about stuff you don't want to cut any of it but they were actually great they didn't bust my balls about any of the content at all I don't understand wanting to edit things that are on the
internet if unless it's some insane length this was just the the the cuts we made there was very little in the content area it was only because I didn't know how they did videos like I didn't realize that we'd have to do it in more than one part and they probably had told me that I just forgot in that moment because it was my first episode so I should have said like what I should have done was to keep in Pace with the way they do a because every series they do is really I've watched a million of them they were all released in a few parts right so if I'm going long I should have said all right it's about x amount of time we'll be right back or go to the next whatever the [ __ ] I should have said and then done it that way but I just didn't know to do that so you know what I think I think that's the wrong way to do it I think the way you did it is the right way do it organically have a conversation and then have all the throws and post what do you have to [ __ ] be there when you do it just say you know have in the middle of the conver the conversation pauses say we'll be back with episode 2 next week yeah we could do that why not why would you want to make someone have some nonorganic Row in the middle of a conversation like that's goofy that just chops up the flow of the conversation and the thought process that may have been my mistake then you know mean like they they know how to the thing that they do is they release video they know what gets the views the part On's the part twoos like they tried explaining it to me like how it works as a business model and you know I'm looking at it from like like you just said I want to have the conversation and they were like things don't normally go cuz my set's very plain I like like the dick C at Mike Douglas like those [ __ ] guys so I did it because you know they're not going to just I should have just said hey look we'll be right back or maybe done it in post but I just didn't think to do that at the moment they're like we just got to get a couple of pickups that was the the stage manager I'm like okay like maybe I could have said to him now I'll do it and post and he might have been fine with it but I again it was such a learning and I hate to say he sound like such a douche but it was they they gave me so much ability to do what
I want without [ __ ] with me that I might have you know made a couple of like oh yeah I should have done this instead of that right well it seems like you could probably figure that out as you go along whenever you start something out it always has like you know there's always just bumps I mean and they gave me an extra episode we were supposed to do three and then they were like we might do two because of scheduling and then I sat down with EDI goes well [ __ ] it why we just try four yeah they just threw an EP like that's how they do things they threw an extra episode so I had David tell as the guest and I had sherod small and Voss did a piece for me and it was just [ __ ] funny hanging with three other comedians you know and that kind felt like a much different one than Tyson and Dana do you think what do you think is going to go down with September when your contract is up October 4th I don't know I mean like I love the gig I love performing but you love the gig the same with Anthony not being no of course not no no I mean I mean the idea of Performing either alone or with other people right um I want this thing to work because I want my own thing like I've done so many things thing the vice thing yes Jim Norton Show I want to have my own thing too cuz you feel like a more performer when you're not always with OPI and Anthony or Colin Quinn or Louis CK or Andy Schumer's put me on her show like I don't always want to be on somebody else's thing right um so I love the idea of performing on the radio I love doing it with Opie I love doing it with Opie and Anthony more because and I would say the same thing if Opie left like I honestly do love being a part of that radio show being without Anthony is difficult and hope you would say the same thing it's it's just like it's it's hard to realize how much space a person fills in your life until they're not there like I mean we all know Anthony's a comic je that's easy to say but it's like the little moments like when there's that chair I mean I'm clo I I sit closer to I'm to Anthony than I do to you right every day five days a week for 10 years and now he's just gone and it's really hard to get used to that empty seat whether he's saying something funny or whether he's just doing a stupid Eck joke or a little
aside or just P it's like this whole [ __ ] vacuum of this this great powerful brain that used to be you know a foot away from me yeah or just talking about things he's a fascinating guy he's got a lot of information in his head he can talk about anything for any length of time anything he can be and we've said that like Pat and I've said this before but Patrice said that Anthony can access funny faster than anybody he'd ever known like he just had the ability to access being funny immediately on any subject like if you're talking like you know how he was a tin knocker he would put in air conditioning Vents and he can walk you through that in a fascinating way and be funny about it and be captivating with it me I and I I just die telling a story I lose people IM me and it's a joke I've done but I I meant the sincerity of it that if I was on 9911 on the if I made it out of the first Tower I would lose people halfway through the story like I just have no ability to go from the beginning to the middle to the end and keep people locked in did you guys have a meeting with Sirius after this over I know Opie op talked to Scott I talked to Scott on the phone and he goes look we're going to try to move forward with you and Opie and see how it happens he goes work through it organically on the air they didn't tell us how to to do it they didn't say don't badmouth the company don't he said work through it organically on the air and we'll see what happens so I mean we'll see what happens they completely closed the idea of Anthony ever coming back I don't think so um and and they've given me no indication so I'm careful how I say the I don't want the fans getting like I'm putting false hope out there but I'm I'm just being truthful is they it doesn't feel final to me and maybe that's my own denial or my own lack of willingness to admit that this thing could be over like it was really sad man last I saw Anthony went to his [ __ ] Fourth of July party and I was very depressed driving home like I know I'm going to be okay financially and I know like hey this other show could take off hey you got standup hey you got but just the idea that this thing you love to do like all right this chap is closed like it just [ __ ] depresses me it depresses me to listen to it I couldn't imagine if it
was me every day day in day out being a part of it you know every time I did it I I loved it I mean I had a great time doing your show my favorite radio show of all time without a doubt it's a real conversation you have real moments and the laugh somebody played for me recently they they sent me a link to Jim Norton's laugh compilation there's just times where people have made me laugh on the show and I listen to part one and two because the point is not me laughing it's the things and you know most of those laughs have come from Anthony more than any guest or anybody and some of the things that he did a thing recently or or years ago that I heard two days ago where we were talking about people who have shot themselves in the head and survived and Anthony did the voice of the guy who survived and he just went it was an immediate he became the guy who had shot himself in the [ __ ] head and survived and he's talking about how he just has a more positive look and I'm howling listening to it in in the clip and I'm listening to it uh like you know yeah two days ago and I'm laughing all over again I'm like I forgot that bit ever existed but God this [ __ ] made me [ __ ] laugh and I'm not talking about him like he's dead but I mean that's how valuable a thing he is like I I I can't listen to to radio bits man I think they made a big mistake I think they made a big mistake for a couple reasons one I think they made a big mistake because I think it's it's going to open the door more to the internet cuz people are look at that as the only the last remaining true free speech option y cuz that's what it is look you can you could say you don't like this podcast you can decide that I'm offensive you can do what but you can't stop it I mean you might even the the host might say we don't want to host you anymore I'll find another host you know the sponsors might say we don't want to be your sponsor anymore well guess what I'll do it with no sponsors we did it with no sponsors for years this is the only real option where you're your own producer your own director your own you're the whole thing you're the performer you're the whole thing that's where it's sad because just like a standup is entirely responsible for your act that you put on stage if
you had some producer hovering over your [ __ ] shoulder every time you wrote a bit every time you were thinking about putting together a set list every time you were going up and doing a show they would review it afterwards that would be gross they would take all the fun out of being a comic yeah it would be awful I mean that's why a bad collaborator because you're so used to having absolute and ultimate control of things well you're a perfect example think about you and you as a successful performer and personality who the [ __ ] would have ever thought you could have made a mainstream career out of talking about your love of [ __ ] talking about [ __ ] and piss and and [ __ ] in each other's mouths and peeing on people Monster Rain just look at the honest things that you've tackled and because you're honest because you're fun if you had to vet that through somebody else if you had to have that filter through some sort of a mainstream producer it would have never happened would never work you're absolutely right I mean that's why you're right the internet is the last place where at least I mean for now who the [ __ ] knows what happens with that but all that stuff you did you did on Sirius Sirius had a different approach when they first came out they they've slowly but surely clamped down from that condalisa Rice incident that's where it was like ooh you could get in trouble for something that someone says on a radio show that isn't even like a guest yeah like I mean isn't even a one of the hosts right your show could get canceled a homeless guy yeah and they were going to fire us for that Eric Logan saved that was XM wasn't it was and this is how what happened the [ __ ] the NAB uh the National Association of broadcasters somebody on that side I think was what was pushing it because the story went on drudge and Bart will this hurt the merger and again the guys who ran the this when they're about to merge will this injure the merger and man it was a billion dollars at St and it wasn't going to hurt the merger but they [ __ ] panicked and these are all different people that are in charge now uh but they're like well uh and they don't know how to deal with stuff so they get the phone call the guy Nate I think was running XM at the time or hu
Panero what do you think of this thing they said a homeless guy said he wants to rape cond Lisa Rice and F like what like he he's worried about a billion dollar merger and he and I'm not I'm not defending them suspending us but I try to put myself in their like and this is again I mentioned Louie because he's a good he's a good non-emotional reactor to things and he'll look at things and go well they're just trying to do this and like Louis will give you a very logical reason as to why something's happening and it's like yeah I wish I would have seen that I get too angry and emotional and you're like [ __ ] them they're say and then I'll go like okay that's a billion dollar company they're not used to this and they hear this guy wants the [ __ ] first lady raped Bush or George Bush and they're laughing about merger might be threatened [ __ ] him get rid of him and he just panics isn't it fascinating though that you're talking about a billion dooll company okay Sirius XM billion dooll company okay what exactly are they selling well what they're selling is content who delivers that content guys like op and Anthony guys like Jim Norton they're selling your ability to be entertaining other than that it's just music how how do you have a billion dollar company that's just selling music you don't that's what my argument would be too look the talk thing is the last like uh the last thing you guys have and this is for any even terrestrial radio too the last thing you have is original Talk content and their point back would be that's a great thing that we have but we also have um whether it's a celebrity people doing [ __ ] or we have sports that you can't get across let's say we have the NBA we have a major league baseball I'm just saying that's what they would say no body's paying for that let's be honest they're paying for stern they're paying for Opie and Anthony I hope so man especially since Spotify and like there like Pandora they used to be I like serious radio because they had like the 30s the 40s the 50s whatever and all the different radio stations nowadays you just put Spotify put anything you wanted as a you know yeah I mean I I get almost all my [ __ ] from iTunes I I don't never listen to music in my car anymore unless
it's coming off of my phone I just it's just I don't need to you don't need to anymore you don't need them anymore and what the last thing that's exciting is things like Stern and things like Opie and Anthony where you can have a guy who is just freewheeling saying whatever he wants doesn't have to worry about language restrictions doesn't have to worry about anything and the fact that he can get fired for saying the same things that he's always said on his show to saying them in a text message that they're so ignorant that they can't recognize that this is you're taking it out of context you're taking it from a guy who's just recently been assaulted you're taking it from a guy who probably had a couple of drinks him when he said it and he shouldn't have done it he [ __ ] up he definitely shouldn't have gone on that Twitter Rampage he should have said it on a video and you know what podcast or on the show on the show would have been perfect it would have been a great episode oh that would have been F and Keith Robinson pointed out he's like the teasing we could have given him oh the the teasing beautiful but but I don't know if that's something that will ever change like they may at one point go ah we do kind of understand that maybe he's you know he's a valuable said to the like you know again I don't I don't know why I don't get that feeling because they haven't said to me we'll bring him back we they really haven't and I never want to give fans I'm not trying to keep fans from cancel it literally is just a feeling a gut feeling he didn't drop end bombs he didn't go on this and I've talked to him enough to know what his intent was and maybe it's just this naive dummy in me but I keep thinking man he should come back he can come back just give it some time and that's I just keep hoping for that I think he can come back I think if they gave it some time he definitely can come back in the context of what he said it wasn't that bad I you know I wouldn't have been happy if it it was my company and I had shareholders and all that jazz but I obviously I would never be that guy anyway I would never be a [ __ ] head of a big company I'm just not built for it but you got to recognize the entertainment quality you know the the
entertainment aspect of that guy the the entertainment possibilities of keeping the show together it's because without that all you have is Stern you know I mean obviously you guys are still together and it'll still be a great show but it's not the same show it's not and you you leave open the door for Anthony starting his own thing some wildly successful thing on the internet which also look if someone comes along and they put together some sort of an advertising budget and they say Hey listen we would like to do the OPI we'd like to host the op and Anthony podcast on the internet we'll take X percentage of the the the advertisers we've already got it lined up we have a big launch we're going to do it around Thanksgiving someone's going to [ __ ] a turkey live on the air you know whatever you know what I'm saying you start you start doing you come up with some idea to do something completely free and Wild on the internet a big advertising push bu Billboards Time Square you know [ __ ] serious we're doing it on the internet you know o Anda is back and it's free downloaded online you don't need to pay for a subscription anymore anybody can get it on your phone I mean you can do it the way we do it we're available on we we're available online as an MP3 we're available from iTunes we're available on Stitcher on YouTube on Ustream on Vimeo if you just did something like that it would be gigantic yeah maybe you're right man we have thought about it and again we're up in October 4th we don't know and and we honestly don't know what we do from here like again Opie and I are doing the show bringing guests in and just performing and it's like we we both feel the [ __ ] loss of go through Vice do it all through Vice there would be a wonderful promotion vehicle for you guys to do Opie and Anthony live through Vice they'll set you up with a studio do all online do the show as a video online and do the show have it available as a podcast free downloads they provide you with advertisers it wouldn't be hard to do Shane could hook that up in 5 seconds they could make one phone call and it would be the wheels would be in motion I would I would uh I would love to do that and that's a guy you you know like [ __ ] could get really crazy and everyone's going to be fine yeah Shane I mean look the fact the fact that they didn't break
my ball like I everyone says like oh we all to do what we want guys but like the I can't believe the amount like if this thing fails it is absolutely my fault it is% my fault I can't blame the company they [ __ ] got in my ear and [ __ ] they didn't give a [ __ ] they really didn't it's this one is on me if it succeeds I did a great job Kurt meter helped me and Jesse Joyce contributed a little atel contributed some brilliant stuff but Vice allowed me Freedom total the the monologues are my are just [ __ ] are exactly what I wanted to do monologue wise um I have links that I would they can't be posted but I was going to send you but they they took too long to get them to me um and I'm just so bad at this [ __ ] just get it to me later it doesn't matter listen whatever whenever it comes out we'll promote the [ __ ] out of it next WN Wednesday the 23rd next Wednesday the 23rd all right I'm going to I'll tweet it I'll tweet it when it's coming out I'll tweet it when it's on I'll tweet all four episodes I'll tweet links and websites whatever you need to do man it's not going to fail it's going to be great but you know how it is man I I I have the [ __ ] and like I I know intellectually yeah I'm a funny guy and I think it's there's things that will be fixed in the show like that you know cuz again it's it's a new thing but I also think like it came out funny like I'm happy with how it came out there's a lot of really funny lines oh okay I would fix this and fix that and you live and you learn it's going to be great and but I know that that part of you that's never happy or is going to have issues about things that's also what makes you good because it keeps you keeps you like checking and second guessing and working on things and keeps you striving for a high standard that's the it's the the Dark Inner secret of all comedians that we're never really happy with what we do I obsess like that promo I was I was out in the parking lot with my luggage talking to my [ __ ] manager on the phone I'm like I don't know why they're No One's Gonna like that one I'm just I'm just I'm having a [ __ ] panic attack and that moments like that though they say Tarantino would fight a his editor who passed away but they said that she was such a a big piece of his great success because she was so good at editing his stuff and I heard they would
have screaming matches because you know or he didn't agree with her but she in a detached way could see what worked from the outside and I certainly didn't have a yelling match with anyone but a lot of times I'm too close to it to see what works and I would have been totally wrong about this and I would have thrown that promo out and not used it because I'm mostly in it yeah you definitely would have been wrong look I laughed hard I'd never seen it before that was a legit laugh it's always going to be that way though Jim you know there's always going to yeah you never going to be totally happy that's why you're good yeah I guess but are you totally happy though like you have to know what a great I walk in here I see like all I think is Rogan makes me feel lazy like like because you have such a great setup you're UFC you you I don't know how you do this in smoke pot you're in a [ __ ] an ice chamber this morning you're always doing this weird [ __ ] reading articles you're the best follow on Twitter I'm like how does he [ __ ] keep all these plat spinning and but being really good at all of them I'm just a [ __ ] lazy [ __ ] I go in the morning and do radio I jerk off looking at eos.com for 9 hours I do a spot at the seller and I get a massage well think about those nine hours that you spent jerking off you know those are hours that you could have done all the things that I do exactly believe you think I don't I think of that while I'm doing it while I'm tugging my prick I'm thinking this could be your green screen fixed you know yeah I do well with me it's I'm just real lucky that I found a bunch of things that I like doing you know all the things that I'm interested in whether it's the links that I put up on Twitter whether it's the articles I read documentaries I watch martial arts I do whatever I'm doing bow hunting whatever I'm doing I'm interested in it it's all just things I'm interested in I think that's like a big part of what life what keeps life fun is just be interested in a bunch of different things and pursue those things with most people you can't pursue your real interest because you have a job that's usually not your real interest I've been there too when I was doing Fear Factor and I'm you know no woe is me it was a great gig paid a lot of
money a lot of exposure and all that good stuff but I didn't want to do it I only did it because they wanted to pay me you know and there's a big difference between living like that and living like I Live Now whereas everything I do I enjoy doing whether I do the UFC whether I do a podcast or standup or anything I I enjoy all my things so in that way I figured out a way to harmoniously manage my life it's nice to not hate it right it's fantastic I love it I mean it's not that I love everything I do and there's always you know even with podcasters podcasts that don't go well or I don't like moments in them and those they will [ __ ] with me and I'll try to but they [ __ ] with me because I care because I'm trying to make it better and you know I'm trying when you're doing anything where it's it's a flowing sort of living thing you're ad living and maybe I added too much or maybe I didn't add enough or maybe I was too low energy or maybe too high energy this m you're just it's just because you care and if you care and if you're constantly trying to improve things and you're also Taking Chances and you're also trying to innovate and trying to you know trying to be as loose and as open as possible it's going to be things that don't go great yes and you have to kind of you know you have to kind of leave the flaws in sometime and I I one of the things I I love so much about Mike Douglas and this is it was such an imperfect thing those shows he was interviewing The Jackson 5 one time and it was all of them it was just a very slow interview because they were kids at the time and he said to one of them like so I understand you're the prankster and he's like yeah I like playing pranks it was like it was such a [ __ ] [ __ ] moment but I love the fact that it was real and they left it in and they didn't [ __ ] with it and nowadays they would go back and they would chop that out to him going prank yeah I'm pranking right back and it would be jazzed up and fixed and in that moment it was kind of like just this is what it is it's a natural flow Great Moments slow moments but they're all real moments and I kind of like what you're saying there's going to be little things that bother you because they're real moments and they're a lot little things that bother you because you care because you want to make it you want it to be
great like I'm way better at doing podcasts now than it was when I first started doing it what will bother you in a podcast like what like I'm not saying for like who did a bad one but like what will be a podcast thing that you'll like [ __ ] man that was a bad episode will be the other person didn't talk or you didn't get out of them what you wanted could be a mistake having them on in the first place they just you know they weren't as interesting as I thought they were going to be or we don't see eye to eye on things and it gets weird which is sometimes fun sure but uh Sometimes some you know one of my favorite ones was that skeptic Guy Brian Dunning just cuz it was so ridiculously off it was so off because he was such a goofy he was so [ __ ] in the head this guy just his mind was just so like he would go he would think he was gonna he had a long road ahead of him and he would just kept going off cliffs he just something wrong with the way the guy thinks but sometimes you'll have a podcast and the guy's just not interesting and I just don't connect with them or maybe it's me maybe I'm just low energy I've had podcasts where I just you know maybe I was just too exhausted have been doing doing too many things that's definitely you have to always manage your energy and if you're doing too many different things at the same time like I do a lot of different things it's it's a matter of making sure that you have enough do you ever go back one because one of the guys I interview one of the episodes is Freeway Rick and I know you and he's [ __ ] fascinating but all I think is I should have asked him this I should it's like there's never enough time to ask everything you want to ask like even if you ask good questions you're like [ __ ] I had there was that one and that one and that one and I missed it I missed it I did two podcast with him so I did like six hours worth of talking to him yeah the the first one though I think we really got to the heart of everything because it was three hours long and you know he told everything the whole CIA connection to the Iran Contra affair and notice I said Contra I know how to speak I'm very eloquent uh he was uh he was a fascinating guy and a very positive guy man for a guy who spent that much time in jail and very peaceful and very
interesting dude and really earnestly working to help people not make the same mistakes that he made he's a n he was a nice man yeah and it was hard for me to picture that guy in the um in the role of Kingpin and then as we were we were editing and we weren't chopping content on this one it was just camera angles because the way that I demanded the audience be set up you know have to we couldn't just get a two shot and I didn't know that cuz I'm a [ __ ] novice [ __ ] so we had to just fix a couple of camera angles and there's a couple of moments where Rick's talking I just saw his face and he was being pleasant but I'm like oh that's the guy who's the Kingpin that's the guy and in that and then in those moment I I actually told the editor a couple times rewind that and paus on his face and he was just listening and he wasn't angry but I saw in that moment that face I'm like that's the guy that [ __ ] gave the order like in that you know what I mean like this nice pleasant man is who he really is but you can't be this nice pleasant man and [ __ ] make $900 million selling cocaine isn't it crazy how much he made he made $900 million you can't do it you can't be Mr Nice Guy you can't operate with the Bloods and the Crips together and be a nice [ __ ] fellow all the time there has to be that other part of you I hope he's making money now I hope he's doing well you know but how hard must it be when you've made $900 million selling drugs to not go back to selling drugs drugs to not go I got to figure out a way to do this and not get caught I wonder if it is that I should again I should have asked him that but I I wonder is also is it cuz he got life without parole learn you know no learn to read now he's out so is it is that overpowered by the [ __ ] fact that you're like you know what I can [ __ ] a woman if I want to yeah I can go get a piece of pizza if I want to like there's the gratitude for being out override the loss of material stuff I oh I'm sure it does I'm sure it does because the loss of material stuff was already out the window anyway he was in jail right and I I'm I'm sure he well he's also a changed person like a real legitimately changed person you know in the fact that he didn't even know how to read before he got into jail and then he got to jail learned how to read and then
found the legal flaws and the argument against him and that's what got him released I mean that's incredible what happened was Lawyers how many like you're paying lawyers all that money and they don't catch yeah the [ __ ] you know it was a three strikes you're Outlaw thing it was a double jeopardy thing yeah right they counted one of them was two strikes it was the same tce or something yeah yeah something along those lines yeah well he I know he doesn't want to be that guy anymore which is why he doesn't sell drugs anymore but uh that's got to be a weird thing to go from like MC Hammer style from having hundreds of millions of dollars to how do I pay my bills yeah and what do I do from here even bigger than MC Hammer really even bigger yeah because MC Hammer didn't go to although I think when MC Hammer went through is harder cuz he didn't go to prison for 20 years he didn't have a 20-year cooling off period with no women like you know MC Hammer just went from [ __ ] from a private plane with 30 people to what the [ __ ] do I do now I owe tax money and nothing like he did it on the outside whereas Rick Ross had a lot of years of like this sucks to kind of get his life and then then be grateful what do a guy like MC Hammer do for money I don't know let's Google him I don't know what I mean what what would you do if you were a guy like MC Hammer and all of a sudden the [ __ ] the gig is up didn't you do the religious thing for a while like yes like going to be a pastor of church or something like that yeah I guess found a way to like hide money that way or something he's got a Blog but he hasn't updated it since 2013 November yeah it's not good for blogging he was on The Surreal Life oh was he really 2003 he was managing um martial artists for a while he had some company that he was managing martial artists I think it was called Alchemy or something like that yeah I wouldn't trust him with my money yeah if you go through [ __ ] 30 million and now you broke or whatever the amount was I I don't want to trust you with my financial decisions well wasn't it even crazier than that like he was spending like ungodly amounts of money to like refurbish this house and then they had to stop halfway through it because he ran out of money but it was
just some insane thing like just the marble alone was like $8 million worth of Italian marble or something [ __ ] crazy yeah it's really crazy how people like how fast expand I had shelves built recently and why wouldn't there be problems with them cuz whenever [ __ ] [ __ ] face does something cultured it falls apart so now the shelves are not there they're being re-repair um you know and it's like you just realize that they give you an estimate it always goes more it always gets to be more and you're like you're already in a little bit you can't just stop yeah yeah well that's the thing they do to you that's the thing if a especially unscrupulous contractor sometimes it's just you know hidden cost they don't see coming but some of them they just they get you hooked and then once they got you hooked they just keep the bills coming they do that with car builds too when you're getting a car built they did that to me when I was on that show rides where had that Barracuda built it was infuriating man they treat you like you're a sucker keep adding to it right oh they treat you like you're a sucker they they give you a lowball figure and then we were past that lowball figure quick and the car was nowhere near being finished and I was like guys what's going on like what what are you doing and they were like hey you know it's uh it's costing a little more than we thought it's costing $100,000 more wow like you guys are like what the [ __ ] is going on and they they start talking about look you know we'll sell it you know we'll sell it and we'll give you your money back like no the [ __ ] you won't no that's my car you're not going to sell cuz it was on the cover of popular hot rodding or one of those you know Hot Rod Magazine a couple different magazines so they were getting offers people like hey uh you know I want to see this car I'd ball this car ask this guy who wants to sell the car they started getting greedy so they started like doing all this crazy [ __ ] to the car to make it more valuable but while they were doing that it was costing me more more money I was financing the whole thing and then they were threatening to sell it and just give me my money back and they were going to like make all the profit I was like okay you guys are [ __ ] like this is this is
the craziest [ __ ] scenario I'm in and it was just like they do with a house except it's different because it's your house like this isn't even your car like this is a car that you're paying for and this guy's telling me hey look if you don't want to spend x amount of money we'll sell it and we'll give you your money back like the [ __ ] you will how'd you finally resolve it uh well the uction company got involved and um it it got pretty ugly because they ripped him off too it was it was pretty bad the guy who built it he made some mistakes it was uh it was a disaster it wasn't chip fous it was the other guy it was it was a mess it was a mess a real mess it was a bunch of people got really greedy because it was the car was getting a tremendous amount of attention it was it was ugly they still in business I don't know they got cut out of uh my friend Bud's production company though who does overhaul and he does a bunch of other shows he cut him off forever it's like done you're done dude you're cut off forever some people just don't see the big picture right they don't no I mean he was all these dollar bill signs were in his head because it was on these magazine covers and we had this conversation on the phone he's like look you know this car is a popular car cars on two I go hey [ __ ] why do you think this car is so much more popular than any car you ever built you ever think it's maybe because you're building it for a famous person you [ __ ] ad do do you not see that you think that you're the famous person like do you understand this like this is getting you more attention that more attention will generate more business for you but we have a deal and you you're [ __ ] me out of my deal because someone's going to offer you an extra $30,000 or whatever this other person was offering them but that's what they do with cars they start you off they say you know we'll build a car for you Jimmy cost you about 20 30 grand and then you know you got the car and then like Jim um the [ __ ] is a little more expensive we're going to have to adjust the housing and the rear end's not good we're gonna have to add a new rear end and some of that stuff's legitimate but some of it is like a he he haha we gotcha excellent example by the way [ __ ] rear end [ __ ] rear end
he I know I didn't even mean to add those things in in that way it wasn't meant to be a double on Tandra but uh it fell into place correctly but yeah I I'm in the middle of a a thing with my house that's going great and when you know you have something fixed in your house and someone's doing it and they're doing a great job and it's all on time it's beautiful it's like ah the guy did what he said he was going to do and everything's working out well it's like it's it's like relaxing he didn't milk it he didn't [ __ ] me I'm GNA piss again wow this is incredible this the third time this is incredible let's just wrap this thing up we're done anyway we done okay Co we're done so Vice vice.com where will people be able to see this uh on vice.com Wednesday the 23rd it comes out and of course I'll be tweeting about it in the first EP I'll be tweeting about it as well Wednesday the 23rd um please anything you need promoted when can people see you live doing standup um I'm doing in Montreal that jizu theater and I got a bunch of stuff on Jim norton.com because I'm cobs August 7th 8 and nth cobs in San Francisco wonderful place to visit if you want to get jerked off tickets available I've never gone there and gotten jerked off how dare you oh really rubmaps.com you'll find a lot of good places out there oh cool thank you just wander around the city there's wonderful places thanks for having me man anytime my brother anytime and uh if you guys wind up doing a podcast I would love to be one of your guests let's do it we'll see what happens come on let's do it let's make it happen it's going to happen you can't be held down anymore it's we can't allow it we can't allow it ladies and gentlemen the Opie and Anthony show will continue it it must it must with serus or without the The Gauntlet has been laid down uh thank you everybody thanks for um thanks for tuning into the podcast thanks for uh our sponsors who do we have today uh we had uh thanks to Ting go to rogan.com and save yourself some money you dirty [ __ ] save yourself $25 off of uh any brand new glorious phone from a wonderful company thanks also to Blue Apron my new favorite sponsor not my new favorite but one of them I love them they're great I'm going to eat it tonight blueapron.com Rogan go there and
uh get your first two meals for free that's blueapron.com Rogan thanks also to on it.com go to o n niit t use the code word Rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements we'll be back next week with a lot of Mo lot of Mo show uh until then enjoy yourselves have a good time and uh be loving to each other big kiss funny I didn't say I want to say this on got very