Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Slzg6X53xo0
hello freak [ __ ] we're making podcast magic again this episode of The JO Experience Podcast is brought to you by Ting Ting is uh a longtime sponsor of the podcast and one that we have got universally positive feedback from everybody that I know that I've turned on to it has saved money using tang tang is a sell phone service mobile phone service that uses the Sprint backbone they have their own company though so they have their own rules like no contracts um no ETFs or early termination fees they have a new thing they called the ETF relief program if you're paying an ETF come to Ting and they will give you credit for 25% of your ETF up to $75 per device simply purchase your device through Ting Port your number then submit your final bill with the ETF detailed from your previous car carrier is ETF like when you have a contract and yeah early termination fees um they it's it's a sweet cell phone company the way they have it set up I I really enjoy a lot of the aspects of it one of the things that I really enjoy is there's no overage coverages or penalties so like a lot of times like if you have one service and you go higher use more minutes you get hit with a penalty they don't do that they just charge you what you would have used or pay for you what what you have used and if you you use too much or if you rather use too little if you like you you say had one contract and it was set up for you know x amount of minutes and you use something lower than that they'll knock you down to the lower rate and then credit you on your next pill it's beautiful cancel anytime you want Brian has the new Samsung Galaxy S3 there's a naked girl on your on your phone dude Wonder Woman wow Wonder Woman is hot as [ __ ] too bad Wonder Woman can't be just a big [ __ ] angry fat Broad look how small this one is compared to this now why can't Wonder Woman be like a a really fit CrossFit woman why does she have to be the sex pot you know it's rude if I was a woman I'd be pissed but I'm not this yeah the iPhone looks very dinky compared to that Galaxy it kind of ruins it like it it kind of like after you go back to your iPhone it really feels like a little kid's like phone now I didn't think that was going to happen quite
honestly I thought I [ __ ] up when I brought that thing I got it the first weekend I got it I went to England and it worked flawlessly over there it's like well you know maybe I get back home it's too big maybe I'll just get the S4 but then as time went on it became normal and as long as it fits in my pocket I have zero regrets I love that phone I can officially say apple [ __ ] up they [ __ ] up yep they better hurry the [ __ ] up with this new big phone that they're supposedly making well the online experience is just way better way better I mean I was watching Hulu Plus on my phone last night in bed and it was fine it was just the screen's perfect for bed yeah it's beautiful I'm I'm a huge fan I'm a huge fan of uh all the Galaxy devices but just Android phones in general I have the HTC1 as well I love that phone too Apple's made mistakes um the beautiful thing about Tang as well is you don't have to uh you don't have to compromise on devices they do have all the latest and greatest Android phones including the Galaxy S3 or the Galaxy S4 they have that too the Galaxy S3 the Galaxy S4 and the Note 3 which is one I have they have the HTC1 they have all the the niftiest swiftest new beautiful Galaxy phones that all the kids are using uh and um Ting if you use the the if you go to rogan.com uh you can save $25 on your first Ting device when you sign up so visit rogan.com couldn't recommend them enough very cool company um and all our friends that have used him have all reported that they've saved a ton of money on their bill it's just a more ethical it's more reasonably set up service I like what they're doing they're making plenty of money they don't have to rob you they don't have to make you feel like you're getting [ __ ] look how sexy this one is if you go back to the S if you want to go to the S4 Joe if you ever end up thinking that screen's too big purple S4 and T yeah S4 is pretty goddamn big it's still 5 in you know it's just you get so greedy because the the Note 3 is just like a little laptop it's amazing for like I like I draw my notes on it I write them and it comes out just like you're writing on a piece of paper and it's pressure sensitive or it's a pressure sensitive foam because uh I was using it to draw it's like if you
lightly draw it's just a little light you know like a like real pencil and then if you push harder it gets darker just it's it's an amazing note yeah the I was very impressed with the stylus I hadn't used a stylus on the anything in a long time since I had a Palm Pilot and it was a hunk of [ __ ] yeah remember that thing yeah I still have mine and my trios remember the trios PM pile it's like the size of a thermos big fat stupid thing remember when we used to try weird like Dell cell phones and like those creepy like smartphones that you know what I mean who did that yeah there was a lot of different goofy cell phone ideas that didn't quite make it there was a bunch of Sony ones that used some whoa we had some weird crackling there was a bunch of Sony ones that used some really weird operating system that's not around anymore you remember that operating system yeah what was that uh it was like a business operating system God damn it not Blackberry but it was no it was something totally different Trio no there was there was like a there was one type of operating system that was getting used by like noas and a lot of weird uh cell phone companies and they had their own like little apps they all got smushed under the hurricane that was the iPhone once the iPhone launched everybody was like [ __ ] you get out of the way it was so much better than everything else like we both had Android phones before we had the Android 2 it was a hunk of [ __ ] yeah the the first one what was it the first uh Droid the Verizon Droid they were awful they were so terrible You' pick them up and you go back to the iPhone the iPhone was like your friend like immediately immediately oh my sweetie I got you back it's not like that anymore now it's actually swung the other way I this this uh Galaxy Note 3 and it's huge screens I'm it's I'm so did you know you could also when you're on they have this thing called scrapbook have you seen this yes when you're on a website you're like I got to remember this website so you take out the stylus you Circle whatever you want the picture to be and then it saves the whole website and links the original website and just makes a little thumbnail for you so you could just go back and have like your own little scrapbook of websites exactly that's and that's what
it's called it's called scrapbook it's amazing it's it's so cool it's there's so many more options too when you start [ __ ] around with all the different things you can do Apple [ __ ] up and the watch I almost bought the watch but I watch is ridiculous the watch is ridiculous so heavy and big and I'm like it's creepy you have a camera on it like what am I supposed to use this is like yeah it only lasts a day too right you have to charge it every day yeah and that has to be cancer of your r and you don't want to [ __ ] with your best lady yeah you don't want to [ __ ] with your wrist wear on your left hand yeah don't you wear it on your left hand oh yeah left makes it totally feel you don't want wrist cancer that so bad if you found out that gave you wrist cancer I mean fighting with our hands well if it go if it gives you brain cancer if you put it up to your head all day why wouldn't it give you wrist cancer they're trying to destroy our head and hands so we only have legs to like pull big heavy rocks for the government I just don't get the need for another clock like you you got a clock in that big thing in your pocket dummy why is it attached to that stupid little thing on your wrist that you're not even going to look at maybe they want you to like keep because it's so big keep the note like hidden way so you don't have to actually pull it out this big thing you know what I mean like maybe but then I bet it's a cluster [ __ ] trying to get it to answer on your phone or your wrist or talking in your phone you look like an [ __ ] here's what Apple has to do Apple has to release an exact version of the Note size like maybe even bigger maybe crazier and then have the best watch known to man and release both of them at the exact same time in 3 to 4 months and then they will have destroyed they can't do that now though because they've been [ __ ] blocked Samsung put out those those two items together Apple could never just copy that put out their own phone and their own watch supposedly that might be why they got rid of the old iPod remember the square iPod that everyone was making watches they immediately changed it to an uglier longer one because they were like [ __ ] we we don't want to destroy our own watch Market oh interesting well they [ __ ] they're too slow and I had to
interview with Dave Foley this guy and he uses oh maybe he does not Dave Foley from news radio right all right so I talked to this other guy and he might use foxcom and you would think that that that product takes like you know weeks to make from like sending it it takes only days for like thousands and thousands of like units to be made really yeah that's how fast foxcom is like foxcom is a robot well that's why those people are jumping off buildings yes the the death people well apparently there is um a new cell phone company out of the Netherlands that's calling itself the fair phone I think it's out of the Netherlands and it's not available in the United States yet but it's all uh ethically sourced minerals and uh people are paid a certain wage to make the phone doesn't have 4G though it's got like 3G it's not quite 4G right yeah so it's it's you you take a beating a little bit but it's Android it's an Android phone and they're trying to make a phone that you could buy that you don't feel like a piece of [ __ ] like if you watch those Vice documentaries and how they get the minerals in Congo and you go whoa that's kind of [ __ ] yeah that's going to be like the having the first Droid you're going to have that phone in it's going to be whack it's going to be whack anyway rogan.com uh Hulu Plus we're also sponsored by Hulu Plus which uh coincidentally Brian actually watched on his Ting phone yeah crazy man South Park that's the beautiful thing about Hulu Plus is that you can watch TV shows on your iPad you can watch them on your phone you can watch them on various tablets your home computer as it were thousands of TV shows and a selection of acclaimed movies on your TV or on the go what's that sound oh it's the commercial Hulu commercial oh the Hulu commercial yeah look at that it's so awesome you can also check out exclusive content they have including Hulu Originals like The Awesomes starring SNL's Seth Meers and moonboy starring Chris odow from Bridesmaids but if you're a dude and you know who was in Bridesmaids how dare you that's what I say to you how dare you actually I heard that that was a funny movie was it yeah was it yeah it's good uh Hulu Plus also offers a great selection of acclaimed films for only
$799 $7.99 a month you can stream as many TV shows and movies as you want it's pretty sweet go to Hulu plus.com Rogan and you could try it free for two weeks so that's Hulu plus.com Rogan this is a special offer to all my friends out there so go get the extended free trial and let us let them know what are you doing I'm looking at these hot Asians that are putting in this commercial you got a problem broken broken person um anyway hululu plus so the the website Hulu plus.com ran we're also bought to you by bought to you we also bought to you by anna.com o n nit t uh we have the new zombie kettle bells that are in stock now if you loved the Primal Bells you will be in love again with the zombie bells same dude made them Steven chuin JR this badass artist who uh Aubrey hired to make the chimpan the gorilla the ape the orangutang and the um uh monkey Hower monkey we also now have 72 lb 54 lb 36 lb and 18 lb zombie kettle bells note the lack of puds in the description as it should be St the [ __ ] 1200s in Russia it it just sounded Christ it sounded kind of like hipster just to so well it's just one of those things it's it's the cattle Bell Community they they love to use the word pood you know like the right they like to be silly you know how like people love to do that I was at a gun store the other day and I heard people talking and like they all oh I lock the AR with the 54 and the people love to have like very like inside dialogue to let you know they're they're on The Cutting Edge of this particular point of Interest so when you talk about you know what are you what are you doing your training with well use tud you know with my swings and I'm shut up tell me pounds godamn it don't even go metric don't you dare go metric 34 kilogram oh you use 34 kilograms what country do you use that in [ __ ] huh he goes straight to Russia with your kilograms you go to China this is America boy 72 PBS say it [ __ ] 72 PB CH that's what I'm saying uh we also have uh some new supplements in including uh 180 which is our response to 180 is basically the best way you can nutritionally try to satisfy a h a hangover or jet lag I want to put this to the test joke yeah get [ __ ] up you do anyway just drink it no I mean take it sober and see if it gets me drunk no
it doesn't work that way you got to hit hit your head on something um it's basically the neurotransmitter support of Alpha Brain with the best adaptogens from shum Tech sport some 5htp in there minerals all sorts of wonderful nutrients if you uh go to on it.com there's plenty of information on the various ingredients and what they hope to achieve really uh fun stuff I I've been a fan of taking alphabrain after long plane flights and after um uh if I've had some alcoholic beverages either one of those things really can slow down your thinking and I think that nutrients are the things that spark that back up especially nutrients specifically designed to improve cognitive function all of it is explained on on it.com that's o nit Joe can I get a discount uh an on it discount for whoever designs this website cuz I want to make I want to make my website look at this [ __ ] like you scroll down and the [ __ ] pours look at this it opens up yeah they're awesome but he finds great artists man Aubrey's a smart cat on o n nit T use the code Rogan save 10% off any and all supplements Justin Foster is here he is a young comedian he is from Texas and he's ready to get his free on hit the music Brian Jo Rogan podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day Justin Foster comes from Texas he's a [Applause] comedian that should be your new intro that is thank you very much yeah [ __ ] credits dude [ __ ] all that Comedy Central nonsense just just hand the MC a card with a song on it just sing this [ __ ] sing it like your children are in trouble a minor or I'm not doing the time hit hit the high notes too don't crackle uh we met Justin when we were doing the Addison Improv couple years ago right three four years ago longer than that it's like five or six I think yeah it's been a while God damn time fly he was uh very funny then since then he's gone downhill I PE two years in you were I was it was uh very fun to see that Texas especially Dallas and and that one Club has like a real Community yeah we came in the first time we came in like we did a show before the show like Ari and someone else was a part of
was Joey was it Joey yeah and that was um you had you guys had a showcase night where there was like a g of like local Comics went up right and you went up and um who was the other cat that we were just talking about that went John to went up and there was a few other ones but you had like a real Community yeah Dallas has got a good a good comedy scene yeah it it was cool to know or cool to find out I didn't know before so it's always nice to see like it's all all you need is like one Club where there's a couple of funny dudes that get together and then the open mic night kind of kicks ass every week people keep coming back all you have to do but everybody's so shortsighted they don't do the open mics anymore because open mics don't make any money right nobody yeah that's that's a problem is nobody really comes in for that because the headliners coming in that weekend yeah yeah so well it's not even that no one comes in for that the clubs the local clubs are missing out on an opportunity to raise local talent it it'll save you money like you don't have to pay for their hotel room they live nearby right and it also will ensure that you always have a good show and you could start doing the these shows on Tuesdays and Wednesdays well you might be dark and you could make a lot of money doing that if you just had a real local scene and that was the cool thing about that club and they still like that but they'll be like if a headliner only wants to do two shows on Saturday they'll be like okay well we'll do an 11:30 show but we'll give it to all the local guys right like nobody you know nobody really does that anymore smart if people get off work like say if you got off work at 10:30 and you know that there's an 11:30 show like [ __ ] them man let's go to The Improv have a couple drinks it's always a good show the local guys are always good right you know there was this time in Boston where there were no visitors that everything was all handled locally it sounds crazy to people today but the only people that played that came in from out of town were like Jerry Seinfeld would do a concert George Carland would do a concert but there was very few like comedians came in and did like a week at the club and it was all supported by local talent and because of that there was this amazing wealth of
local talent and a place like Dallas is taking that same concept you know that Addison Improv and they were just running with it is it still like that now it's gotten better now because there's there's another club uh there's two other clubs and there's like bar shows and there's like underground shows and like it's it's a really cool scene now so important every improv should have an open mic night someone should just sit them down and say listen this is like you're planting a garden it might actually cost you money the first year cuz you got to buy all your seeds and your your machinery and you might not it might be cheaper for you to go out and buy the food but don't do it right stick with it cuz if you stick with it you can have a real comedy scene and then you build a fan base and so when you got a headliner that comes in that it's not necessarily going to draw a lot of people you go well I got two local guys who we've been developing for the last three years that'll help yeah and they don't need a hotel room and they're they'll do it for nothing yeah and you'll you'll educate people about comedy in general more people will be aware of good of good comedy yeah when a scene develops like that it's such a cool [ __ ] thing to watch like Denver there's one Wendy in Denver who owns The Comedy Works she did it all on her own like essentially she created the the Denver and cultivated the the Denver comedy scene with those Comedy Works clubs she's got two of them there and she's got a whole system as far as like open micers they go from open mic to Middle act middle act to headliner and they they cultivate these local people and they've been doing it forever and because of that there's all these funny people like if you go to see a local show on like a Monday night or what have you it's a lot of funny comedians and also Aus is the same way too Austin like if you go to like Cap City on a on a Tuesday night it's always a really good show also yeah and another that's a perfect example cuz Austin is like a real hang too right Like Comics like whenever I'm in town was I always see Comics that are also in town like hanging out at the bar you know guys who are working at the Vita room will come over or what have you right you know it's it's there's clubs that are like
hangs where Comics will like meet up yeah the Improv is good like that Addison there's a club called hyenas in Dallas where they have a big bar area so the the open mic and say they don't make a lot of money off ticket sales but now you've got 40 Comics hanging out the bar till 2 a.m. you're going to make you know I mean you're going to make money yeah no doubt and again it's it's one of those things where you can't look at it as a like a straight flat business move you have to look at it as a part of owning a business a part of owning a comedy club a critical part is supporting the community they [ __ ] up with that these big giant places they don't have open mic nights it's it happens a lot now much more so than when I was coming up when I was coming up it seemed like during the 80s comedy got so big and so crazy that everywhere you looked there was an open mic night there was so many of them they were everywhere and every Club had one every Club stitches had one Nicks had one all these different clubs in town had one and it would seemed like every time you would go local or you would go to a um a road gig the local Comics would have an open mic night as well it was like everyone always had one it was a part of having a comedy club you had open mic night and you would ask guys like when's your open mic night oh we do Sunday nights oh we do Monday you know it was just a standard thing but then they started creating these big monstrous [ __ ] clubs that seat like like like stand up live in Phoenix is 600 [ __ ] people San Jose San Jose Improv Palace yeah that ancient improv is the most beautiful old theater it's an amazing old theater does San Jose Improv have you ever performed there no that's no I haven't done that one [ __ ] that place is amazing [ __ ] it's 20th are you it's so gorgeous it's just a beautiful beautiful old theater like it has a feel to it like when you're walking backstage like this place it's been people have enjoyed things in this place like for a long ass time but it's huge you know how many does it see I don't know 500 450 lot yeah a lot yeah like the uh old T improv was like 450 right it was about 450 those places it's hard to do an open mic night when you got 450 when you've got nine people up front and a 450 yeah it's hard to have a
local headliner you know because you got 450 seats to fill you don't really take that chance you go with a you know whatever Rob Schneider you know whatever you know you go go with someone who has a name maybe over someone who's a local guy who would be maybe even funnier but it's people don't know about it they don't know who it is right yeah but in Boston they all knew about it everybody knew about Lenny Clark like when I remember when I was telling people that I was trying to be a standup they would say oh you know I saw Steve Sweeney last month you know like everyone knew the local guys right but Boston is like that with bands too like Boston supports local bands like anybody that was like Boston that was big always came back to Boston like Aerosmith and they were celebrated you know yeah Boston does have a good music yeah yeah Boston had a great m music scene still does they have a lot of like clubs like but it's just a smart [ __ ] town too bad it's cold as [ __ ] I would totally live there if they could move Boston to Texas I'd move there and sounds like a damn heartbeat you would you would move back to Boston if just the weather was a little bit better yeah I would just live outside of town I wouldn't live in the city the city's too hostile you hear those voices of those women and stuffed just hearing them you'll be at a like Target and you'd hear it it'll keep my pants zipped [Laughter] up what you que look at these deals there was a girl when we've talked about this girl to the end of time when we were at and she was just drunk and just in the audience no she was it was out after the show we were trying to get something to eat they had like this one of those uh you know Street carts that serve like sausage sandwiches and stuff like that and we were all waiting around and this this chick was just so hammered she said to me you think you're all Fear Factor that's what started my hate for Boston women right there it's like the chick what was that movie with Christian Bale where he was like the crackhead and it's like like the nine sisters my friend was having sex with a girl from Boston and while he's having sex with her she goes you're going to tell your friends and that's all he would say it's
all we'd be out to dinner and he was just in the middle of dinner you're going to tell your friends it was just so drunk and exhausted and beaten by life while they were having sex you're going to tell your friends the the girls that are from Boston that live here in La know how to hide it very well but then once in a while it just snip out come that oh yeah I knew it they get drunk and angry right fight scratching you with their nails this isn't a marcket this Boston what yeah it's the same yeah something like that they call this the Boston Market come on whoa Jesus D I went to Boston Market they have these Coca-Cola machines have you seen them where it's like touchscreen and you can be like I'll have I'll have Melo yellow uh zero they make Melo yellow zero what grape Mellow Yellow zero flavor it's 500 flavors it's it's like it's like a formulas that coke don't want doesn't want to spend the money to the mass Market because it's like I don't think that many people's going to like it but they have now put it in one machine so you taste all these flavors that are unreleased yeah I've TR I've done that movie theaters movie theaters have those you can add like a bunch of [ __ ] and some of the more sophisticated movie theaters yeah but I just go Diet Coke really that's what I Coke Zero I want to take any chances what the [ __ ] anybody's doing with Coke Zero to make it all Coke Zero what's better for you Coke Zero di they're both [ __ ] terrible for you right I should be just drinking water you know how the the famous thing is that Mexican Cokes use uh real sugar well they're about to change that and you do it the American formula way God damn it because there's a couple of Mexican joints in La that I go to just because they have those bottle cokes from Mexico that have real sugar in them real cane sugar we're such [ __ ] we ruin everything they're just not fat enough people aren't fat enough they want to add more corn syrup the Mexicans are just coming out a little too lean we need to corn syrup them up they probably made some horrible deal with some corn manufacturer some giant conglomerate right yeah somebody us should step up and make uh like a sugar cane sugar soda that's not as bad for you that's
probably all just as bad for me anyway I just had a Stevia uh based Cola that I bought at Trader Joe's what what are the one horrible it's you know it tastes like like shitty generic Coke cuz you know Coke and Pepsi have a flavor that's why they're famous and you know you get like anart seen you're like well this was like generic Cola but then like as if it was sitting out opened in the refrigerator for 3 weeks and then shut back up you know so you're awful Stevia it's horrible yeah tab well co co Coca-Cola actually uses cocaine you know that's not a is that true I thought that was a Is that real it's not a myth at all they use the cocoa leaves and the actual company that extracts the cocaine from the cocoa leaves that they use to make Coke there's no cocaine in Coca-Cola but there used to be but the flavor is still the same because of the fact that they used this stuff what are you what are you showing me man this is an old tab commercial that based was based on conspiracy theories for tab cool really yeah it had big that's tab was after my own heart it had Bigfoot yeah H that's a tab commercial yeah um anyway nothing scream soda pop conspiracy where was I I'm thirsty what was I talking about cocaine cocaine oh so the the largest medical manufacturer of cocaine is actually connected directly to Coca-Cola they take their their cocoa leaves they extract the cocaine out of it they use it for medical cocaine and then Coke uses those cocoa leaves without the cocaine in it for flavor really yeah they've done it forever that's why Coca-Cola is a very unique flavor if you compare it to Pepsi Pepsi can suck it how about that I just said not as good it's not as good Coca-Cola was the original they have the original cocaine flavor and look there's something to that flavor that's it's a little bit Tangier a little tastier little something to it Pepsi's like Pepsi's like a girl who didn't need to get a nose job but got one anyway God damn it why'd you do that I people inv Coke should be a commercial for Coke right there please somebody from the Coca-Cola Company just a guy going yo we used to put Coke in this not that I wouldn't drink Pepsi in a heartbeat or Diet Pepsi I don't avoid it I just prefer Diet Coke yep s for Texas Dr
Pepper Dr Pepper much better than both of them how about that how about that how about root beer the [ __ ] Ro [ __ ] yeah man what is that one kind of root beer that you always get at like the really nice delies it's in like the old schoolie [ __ ] like abot brothers bottle barks IC IC yeah that stuff's the [ __ ] they make a diet root beer that doesn't even make you feel like a [ __ ] it feels good the actual one though if you can act you know I've been gluten-free for a while but if if I really decide to go in a bender I'm going to go that cavaretta and get a sausage sub with a [ __ ] real root beer a you just feel it you feel the whole thing I wonder what they use IBC what do they use it's IBC right what do they use in there let's see ingredi and watch a be beer p in the day they used to actually be was a beer things were a lot funner back in the day Coke used to had Coke and Ro beer used to be beer right and heroin used to be legal mol Molly butter was actually a really good time Molly butter there was no Molly butter right Can't Believe It's Not Molly when did they when did they discover Molly I don't know is it Molly just ecstasy okay they have corn syrup in this [ __ ] IBC root beer though delicious has high fructose corn syrup so I think every they all do man I don't think anybody rocks a a soda with sugar anymore what about New York Seltzer whatever happened to those guys that root beer was kind of weird remember root New York Seltzer root beer yeah what was that cherry Co doctor something Cherry Coke yeah oh uh Cherry Cola Dr and he would make a root beer it wasn't Dr sches because that would be gross yeah Dr sches Cherry Cola God this tastes like f i just type Dr Cherry Cola not Dr Pepper there was like you know it was it was another Deli one like if you went to a lot of delies Boston Market Boston that's a ter Dr Schneider you guys are a you sound like Woody Allen oh come here that doesn't sound like at all no it's not Clearly Canadian it's doctor something you're just naming [ __ ] now Mr Thunder Dr Beverage is it doctor or mister I don't know Mr pib no that's no that's the do pepper there a doctor one isn't there a
doctor one I don't know what the [ __ ] do I know doct oh it keeps pulling me Dr Pepper Dr soda oh you made [ __ ] up that's that's the one Dr Mill making [ __ ] up now well there's Austin is one of the few places that has uh like places where people will wait in line for hours and hours and hours Austin has that one um uh barbecue place what is it called stubs no Franklin or something like that what is the new one there's a new crazy barbecue place in Austina just went there told me it's worth it really is it the place that it's like looks like a house but there's like a line going down the street just away from it's probably literally somebody's house yeah I [ __ ] love Texas do you miss Texas living out here in LA or I do I do yeah I like I said I I fought living here like the first year Franklin Barbecue and now yeah now I enjoyin barbecue Franklin Barbecue this is the spot if you go there pack a lunch get there early it take you hours you got to wait in line and Ari was like how could this possibly be worth it and then he said he sat down he's like oh my God it's worth it really how long did he wait more than an hour standing outside for an hour like an [ __ ] in the middle of the summer I think he was there for South by Southwest but Anthony Bourdain waited in line too on his TV show he did the whole deal like everybody else waited in line didn't go to the front he didn't want to he wanted The Full Experience that's the experience the experience is not just eating if there's a place that always has a line the experience is waiting in line right like I was just in Nashville and they have some place that on Sunday morning it's some pancake spot you [ __ ] can't get in there there's a giant line that last an hours people get there early and they wait for hours black guy with a clipboard to get the pancakes I thought Oh I thought you said is there a Miss like you couldn't see it you're like I can't get in there it's just a giant fog why would you think Miss I thought he said Miss line said there's a line wouldn't you think list would go with line you know what this restaurant needs smoke machine there's something about Mist maybe I can't get in there a magic maybe maybe it's magic that you can wake these people Wai in
line for [ __ ] pancakes oh check it's a wizard check this place out yeah that looks so delicious see that's what I miss about living out here cuz they always have these Texas barbecue places out here and you get there and it's never as good oh let me fix you up real quick hogly waggle in Van eyes hogly W godamn dude it's one of the best barbecue places on the planet Earth and it's here [ __ ] yeah you never been to Dr hogly wagle I went there yesterday son it's incredible it's in a very shady neighborhood but it iove to Compton to get barbecue is legit as all [ __ ] hogly wagle is the bomb diggity dude you'll eat there the ribs the brisket the [ __ ] everything their french fries are legit it's so good it's without a doubt the best barbecue in all of Los Angeles okay fact it's [ __ ] outstanding they have like the bread is sweet and when you're eating the barbecue like with the bread it's like oh my Christ they have buckets of sauce they leave on the table hot mild oh my God it's so good it's so good that place is super legit and the decor hasn't changed since like 1953 but is there miss is there okay good there's m in your eyes when you're eating because you're crying cuz you can't believe how good it is I drove to uh bedos in Compton they had pretty good barbecue but yeah bledo in Compton yeah it's always good to have barbecue and there's bars on the window of the restaurant sounds deliver you want them knowing where you live yeah I think that uh there's some places that you have to go to for the food have you done uh Chicken and Waffles yet at R yeah I did Ros one those places and I did pinks I stood in line for an hour for for a [ __ ] hot dog that's nonsense pink is nonsense pinks is a trick yeah that doesn't make any sense no Dr Browns Dr Browns that's what it was Dr Soda cuz they have cream soda and the Cherry Soda too pink is just a regular hot dog it's just a hot dog there's not even like a super Gourmet like butcher shop hot dog where they snap when you bite into them they're not even that they're just regular hot dogs it's that sheet mentality though when people see a line they go oh got to do this I drove by the other day there was only like two people in line never saw that before I'm like two people I'm like
nah that's how Entourage did six seasons right the same thing or like the shitty Club when they make everybody stand outside before they open to think that oh this is a cool and there's nobody inside it's a smart move make everybody stand outside and then you let them through and they just run in they go hey wait what the [ __ ] flag opens go charge it into this empty Hall yeah yeah there's there's some spots that are worth traveling to Rosco's Chicken and Waffles without a doubt is one and that's another one if I ever go off the the gluten diet oh boy I'm going to [ __ ] up some chicken and waffles who would have ever thought that would be an amazing combination but it's perfect I recommend Dominic's by Beverly Center um Del Monaco's Pizza uh on Fairfax right across the street from another awesome Place caner Deli caner Deli best pastrami in all of Los Angeles best candy too really you like those I mean just looking around who goes there you know you're there 3 in the morning it place is packed with crazies run into Comics there all the time Seth Rogan was there the other day I'm always running into people last time I was there I ran into Marin and run into Jeff Ross there I run to everybody there it's like it's one of those spots where it's between The Comedy Store and the uh improv so it's like it's a straight shot to go down there and get it animal have you been to animal it's right next door to that somebody was telling me about that place so good you would love it it's one of those like I think I want to eat bone marrow I want to eat like a pig's butthole you like I want to whatever you want to eat like any part of the animal is really any part of the animal supposed to be really good though right not everyone every part but it seems like unusual things brain brains and stuff oh really it's animal in Los Angeles yeah it's right down the street from some was actually just telling me about that the other day yeah awesome yeah I've heard of that many times that place um I've heard of from you at least twice I think someone should be opening up a game restaurant in Los Angeles is there not one not that I know there's that place here in Calabasas you know that there that's nowhere near here but yeah that's the the it's called the um uh the something Lodge Saddle Peak lodge
Saddle Peak lodge yeah it's like on the way over to Malo you think people would freak out out here though if you open to like a wild gang like I could just see people like picking it that's why they hide in the mountains well you know there's a point in in saying that it's not good because you don't want like factory farming of these wild animals you wanted to be but if you could have like a small restaurant that didn't serve that many people and it was hard to get in it would be [ __ ] badass if you knew that like if like say my friend Steve renella he's a a hunter he has that show meat eater and here I went hunting with him and I got this deer right here if he had his own restaurant it was all just stuff that he shot you know he shot like a new animal every week and and cooked it in the restaurant and you only ate like what they had shot recently that would be amazing someone did that like called it the hunters Lodge and have you know only have like 10 seats or 20 seats right a small place there'd be a line out front yeah and you just have it so that these people have like some sort of sustained like there's a lot of places in Texas where they have what they call a high fence operation where they're essentially wild animals but they're blocked in they can't go anywhere and so because of that they're allowed to control the populations and there's more Wild game species from Africa in Texas than are in Africa a lot of different species of antelopes and all sorts of different animals that are extinct in India but have great numbers in Texas because these guys create these wild um Wild game parks and then you take these these places and they set up tree stands and some of them are like real blatant like they have feeders and if 6 a.m. every morning food comes out so the animals just gather up and you blast away I mean you could do it that way or you could try to do it more ethically where you try to stalk these animals in their natural habitat but for the most part you're talking about places with like huge amount of acreages some of some of them have two three and more Thousand Acres so they're huge so it's conceivable these animals have never even seen a person before they're all fenced in and if you had something like that and cultivated the animals that way you have like a sniper who
works for you and then he just takes out an an animal every day and you you know today we're having bison that was just killed three hours ago by our hunting team I mean that would be incredible and if people could see how delicious and how good for you that kind of food is we would really start relooking at the American diet I've noticed a big difference in like I get as much as I can I try to buy grass-fed beef now and I whenever I have a a steak that's not grass-fed I notice it in the taste I notice it in like what what it looks like it looks pale like if you have like a grass-fed piece of meat it's a dark red it's a different color right and if you buy one that's that's cornfed it's like this poor thing is anemic yeah and you also feel different too when you eat you know you can like if you eat organic chicken and then you go back to eating like process you can definitely tell the difference in like just how you feel afterwards so I've never been able to tell the difference in chicken I can organic chicken and then you go back to process always yeah wow well maybe you're more sensitive of that than I am but I think there's been a lot of research that's been done on like what's healthy for you what kind of lean protein what what kind of uh diet the animal should be on in order to optimize nutrition value of the food and the best is wild that's the best they're the leanest animals their fat is the most valuable like bears like bear fat they've rendered that down and make these big jars of it and cook with it it's amazing stuff especially if the Bears have been eating like blueberries it actually has almost a blueberry tint to it it's incredible it's like very highly valued be fat when they eat blueberries if you can catch a bear that's been like dieting off nothing but blueberries for months oh my God it's the most amazing meat ever the meat delicious the the the fat is and it's just so much more ethical than stuffing them into these Farms where they're all blocked in and they can't even move and they fill them full of [ __ ] fatty foods and then piston through their brain drain them out and you know they never had a life right these animals live like a wild animal they're running around out there eating grass eating the the the natural plants that they would
eat and then you shoot him it's totally a better move I support it I'm down I'm just I just got so hungry for re have you ate brains Joe yeah I've had brains what's that like what's it it's kind of like like a scrambled eggs type feel texture to it I've had Lamb's brains my uncle used to cook Lamb's brains on the on the grill really yeah it was uh in the 1970s I guess this was around I was a really small boy but I remember I was always into horror movies and weird [ __ ] and so he you know wanted to freak me out and show me the Lamb's skull and then we're going to cook the Lamb's brain well very cool and uh I remember they they spiced it a certain way and would cook this Lamb's brain in the skull oh yeah oh my God yeah yeah it was really odd i' never had it since then for a long time and then I had it long time ago at a restaurant there was a restaurant that had served Lamb's brains and I remember I had that and I've also had sweet breads which is some gland it's one a gland of uh I think it's a cow you sure your uncle's not a witch he's just [ __ ] with him this is a sweet bread try this spells on my family my family straight from the boat everyone was straight from the boat my grandmother my grandfather on both sides they're both uh my grandfather and my father's side came straight from Ireland my grandmother came from Italy and my both my grandparents and my mom's side Came From Italy so they these [ __ ] ate everything right they killed their own rabbits you know they they they ate everything so sweet breads is uh it's it's uh paraded gland including the paraded gland the sublingual glands it's a bunch of different glands how do they prepare it uh I think they fry it okay I think they they uh it's like they pan fry it I think frying makes everything okay here's one it says one common preparation of sweet breads includes soaking in salt water and then poaching in milk after which the outer membrane is removed oh okay once dried and chilled they are often breaded and fried okay so there's a lot going on with these things see that's when people needed food so bad they they tried to figure out how to eat everything right you know they boiled down tendons and
[ __ ] that's why they figured out stews the stews were for parts of animal that you couldn't eat like you couldn't choke it down so you'd have to break it down with a with a braze you would braze them and then boil them slowly for hours and hours until the meat finally gave up and collapsed if you're a caveman didn't know anything about eating animals eating meat and stuff like that and you were just put onto this Earth and you had to go all right I need to eat what would I start with first would you go right to animal because I think I would just grab a lot of grass and like trees and stuff like that I think you're going to say people for a second the problem is you need fat you know especially if you don't have clothes and you're freezing your ass off you're going to need a lot of fat you're going to need fat period like fat is energy especially if you don't have carbohydrates and you're not really going to get the kind of carbohydrates that we get today with pastas and Breads and you know standard wheat-based carbohydrates so like the amount of calories that you would actually need from vegetables it's pretty substantial you have to eat like pounds right yeah if you were just eating grass you would have to eat a lot I would live in a forest or something I think I would start off with that is what I'm saying like I'd be eating like mud you think I think back then you'd have like two days like no [ __ ] this I'm going to kill something you would starve to death dude you really would you but but that's what I mean I mean if you tried to go vegetables only unless you have a garden man [ __ ] unless you live in in a really unique place where they have a lot of naturally growing things you can eat you got to cultivate your own [ __ ] you it's it's hard to find I mean there are like edible roots there's a lot of different things that are like almost like wild potatoes you can eat their roots and they're very nutritious and there's a bunch of plants you can eat but but getting enough of them and then also being aware of what you can and can't eat there's some [ __ ] that looks like [ __ ] you can eat it'll kill you instantly especially mushrooms when you start [ __ ] around with mushrooms and picking mushrooms there was a sad story recently this old lady in a nursing home
went out and picked some mushrooms and cooked them up for everybody that she lived with and they all [ __ ] died like I saw some mushrooms in my front yard today like those big white ones that almost look like cauliflower the answer is no don't eat them slick them first and then take a bite and then take two bites whatever you're about to say the answer is no yeah I just always those are those kind of mushrooms I always wondered if those were poisonous cuz you see those everywhere yeah I would imagine there probably are I mean some of them are edible there's places like the Pacific Northwest where people go mushroom hunting and they're confident enough like there's some mushrooms that are so easy to poke out or point out rather that you can you go okay this one we can eat it doesn't look like any other anything you can't eat and there's a few that are like that people grow them too they love to grow like Shi Takis and [ __ ] I did it once there's like a kit you buy at the supermarket and you basically just like put some water on it or something like that and leave it somewhere and they start growing I mean they they want to grow they just this it's pretty easy to make a mushroom grow yeah they [ __ ] though I you like a lot of feces and that helps it's the it's not just [ __ ] though it it has to be [ __ ] from a cow and it has to be the way uh a double double stomached animal eats they they their [ __ ] like comes out like nice and like loose and and it's got a lot of air in it like an alcoholic [ __ ] you can't you can't have alcohol they wouldn't grow well in alcohol and just a human diet is no good it's not going to grow in meat he want to grow in plants that have been smashed up and passed through the stomach of I think it's called a double unet animal or unul animal these uh wild cows and that's the whole idea with the siloc cybin mushrooms they always grow on cow [ __ ] these big [ __ ] huge plate-sized mushrooms will glow in the Amazon on cow [ __ ] and they look like UFOs landing in a field right that's one of the reasons why the uh the idea came to a lot of people's heads it really tripped hard was that they were communicating with another life form that came here in an asteroid I can say it would makes sense at the time it doesn't just make sense
at the time unfortunately it makes sense like chemically yeah cuz spores can survive in a vacuum right yeah and apparently the chemical composition of psilocybin is very unique there's nothing uh is nothing quite like it's like for Fox foral oxy andn dimethyl tryptamine I know I said that wrong but whatever it is I was listening to a lecture once by Terren McKenna he was saying that the there's no other plant like that that has the phosphorus in the four position and then it's really possible that it could have come on an asteroid from another planet wow it's spores survive in a vacuum apparently you could take some mushroom spores like it doesn't have to be psychedelic like shitake whatever put them on a [ __ ] asteroid shoot into space and they'll live they'll land somewhere boom and make a little mushroom farm did you see that asteroid or whatever the [ __ ] it was over La the other day yeah what was that supposed to be did they say it was a satellite coming in didn't they say it was a satellite burning up no I don't think so last I heard it was a they said it was an asteroid yeah asid was asteroid that's what they said and all these people were coming Like Comics and stuff like man we just saw something crazy it was like a fireball coming right over us and I'm like oh no it's have you checked Twitter yet he's like no you mean I wasn't the only one that saw it and then on Twitter it just blow see that's we cuz just like moving to La like a year and like I see [ __ ] and I don't even know what's real anymore you know like I saw an explosion the other day and I'm like I don't know if I should call anybody or if they're just filming a movie and so like you see [ __ ] falling from the sky like I don't [ __ ] know what that is this animal place doesn't even have a sign they have no sign in front of a restaurant try to be slick you just have to walk dirty [ __ ] this is what they have chicken liver toast spicy beef tend and Chip yeah they got weird [ __ ] pigtails pig ears heirloom tomatoes ve brains dude this makes Place make me hungry crispy pigh head I'm in ve tongue char hard octopus this place might be the greatest place in the history of the world I tell you man it's my favorite restaurant fried rabbit
legs oh my God this is incredible it's great and they're really nice people over there too that Saddle Peak lodge if You' never been there that place is the [ __ ] they serve like elk and Venison and Duck and they serve uh game game food but I think that would be like the ultimate restaurant that'd be like the ultimate Community where you you lived with a bunch of people that see like I watch these Alaska shows like I love like um Life Below Zero you ever seen that one M it's great it's a new show I'm watching I think it's on the History Channel or or no Nat Geo and they uh they go out and most of these people are just living off the land they're just out shooting seals and shooting caribou and and they barter they give each other stuff like they G like they were trading frozen fish for [ __ ] seal oil and they dip their food in Seal it's it's craziness but what's fascinating is no one ever goes to the supermarket all their food they either grow or they kill everything everybody in the whole village and they all share like they have meals together they barter they give each other like I'll give you some Caribou you give me some of this and I need a a band for my uh snow mobile one of the guys blew one of his belts the other guy gave him a snowmobile belt he gave him like a side of caribou it's like it's a lot of work this is amazing I'm too lazy like I can't I didn't even go grocery shop it's a lot of work but like I like literally made a sandwich like the last piece of the toast the other day like the last piece of bread like I couldn't go kill Caribou could you could though if you star if you needed food you could do it I had cereal with water just a powdered Crumbs from the end of the box it works with certain cereals that's not bad chocula I can't even go get more Lucky Charms I'm going to go shoot a salmon yeah something like count Chaka that has like a coating on the outside of it you'd see how the water would work yeah you ever have um raw milk no I've used milk that was really questionable though cuz I didn't want to go get more the same that's not the same this is probably bad but you know what the grocery store is about a that's where yogurt comes from though right yeah it does my I just found that out
and I eat so much yogurt dad you just found that out what you 12 I'm not a smart man I just found out yogurt doesn't come from a yogurt tree wait cheese is mold on a minute what is this butter exactly it's Me Out of Milk oh come on milk's not hard dude you grew up in Texas do you yeah we we didn't eat yogurt there didn't you eat wild pigs no yogurt eating yogurt eat some wild bacon right put some bacon in that yogurt this is some boor dick on toast come on boy I was watching a special episode of meat eater the other day where he was cooking up deer balls talking about people always throw them away and you really shouldn't it's a waste of the deer balls so he's pan frying these deer balls and slicing them up apparently they're quite delicious would you do it youy I'd eat it [ __ ] yeah dude I hosted Fear Factor for six years you can't you can't freak me out when it comes to food I have a very different sense of what's gross I this girl puked in front of me the other she's like I need a trash can I need a trash can so I ran and grabbed her a trash can we had both been drinking a lot of Patron and uh I gave it to her she pukes and we had Mexican before and it smelled like Mexican and vomit like get it away from me it smells and I'm like I started puking and she's like I need it back and it was just like South Park I just love about when a story begin so this girl threw up in front of me the other day that's how Brian's living by the way he's 40 yeah there's something about puke that makes you want to puke too that uh Instinct has totally been removed from me really yeah because of the show yeah I saw so many people throw up it doesn't do anything to me it doesn't make me Flinch when I was a kid I was the first guy if if someone threw up in the hallway I was the first guy to start dry even I I would I threw up the first season of Fear Factor I threw up watching it on TV ah I watched the I something that I was there for in real life and I didn't throw up but watching on TV I threw up but then by the time like Season Two Season three rolled around dude I Was A og yeah I was a [Laughter] veteran yeah I uh I've I've cleaned people's puke up for them I think the last time I threw up was Patron
that'll get Dr yeah that stuff will get you yeah it turns evil well it's your body realizes you've taken in way too much poison too quickly right you're not sipping you're just slamming it down and it's strong as [ __ ] next thing you know your eye vision's not good and you start your mouth gets dry and can't stay stable sweating you're wobbling from side to side what do you two [ __ ] over there keep trying to get me in trouble what are you doing Jamie what it's it's the two girls one oh yeah I had to turn away from that three times I almost threw up yeah we don't have to watch this oh I almost threw up watching you watch that yeah it was rough that was a that was a people like did you guys stage that absolutely not you can't both of them were real that was real and then the Brian watching dudes cut their dicks off that's so much worse I would agree I would agree with that correct yeah yeah getting your dick cut off is always a bad move you notice that there hasn't been a shocking video in a while like a oh yes there is you just don't look I mean I mean there minus beheading because I don't know if youve heard the whole Facebook beheading drama that's been going on but uh that that was [ __ ] up like a girl getting her head chopped off because she cheated on her husband stuff like you you watch that yeah the Mexican drug cartel videos are intense man they they throw put them on Facebook yeah people throw a link up it's one of those things where people just start talking about it and you get it you know and my Twitter has one .17 million people or some [ __ ] like that so when you have that many they know they know what I like they know I like watching [ __ ] up things I don't like the violence and death stuff it's like but every now and then I watch I like watching someone do something [ __ ] so will you walk me through what happens in that video cuz obviously I'm not watching that you don't want to watch it but it's rough was it noises was there gurgling no it's it's shockingly quiet but it's intense and it's 100% real oh yeah there's no doubt about it they cut this woman's head clean off oh [ __ ] yeah he did it with a a small knife what he just reached into her neck and started cutting grabbed her
by her I mean it was Hardcore man and it didn't take long you know her her head was removed in you know a minute or so I'm not yeah it's hard it's hard to watch man and there's a lot of these videos too there's not just one of these videos these drug cartel videos man they never even existed before it was it's so crazy like the climate of Mexico and how much it's changed and that you see it all documented on some of these videos and it's moving up here to La man did you see the it is I think so just so much crazy [ __ ] going on in La our friend Kayla you know Kayla from Dent ter somebody hit her car yesterday or two days ago and then took off and so they she went on this high-speed chase throughout Hollywood going wrong ways in streets going like you know just chasing this person down to take a photo of it and then like it was just gang members pretty much in a a new car you know and they finally got him over and they got got out of the car and took a picture of the person and the license plate and maybe some drama happened and then drove off again and then they went down this dark Street in a like a warehouse in like a really shady neighborhood and Kayla is like I'm I'm done I'm not going down there but it was just like what could have happened to her if she went down that you're not supposed to chase people anyway if your car is good enough to drive like that means you didn't get hit enough hard enough so you could be chasing somebody that's ridiculous yeah like what are you trying to do you trying to get yourself killed she want to get the license PL call the police call the police immediately and tell them what direction and where they're at he'd be amazed at how many cops are out there and a lot of times they can head someone off especially if someone's driving fast you know if they they were on the fun with the police the whole time but did they catch them uh they got the license plate but that's it uh there was one point though I guess they were going fast and this guy was going like 80 M hour went over one of those like little Hill things and the guy flew up in there like 4 feet and came down just like all those fire like Sparks and fire came out wow yeah dude thought he was on the Duke's hat you know I got robbed my friend Justin marale got robbed you know this place
isra well if you're out at night man that's the reality if you're out at night and you're wandering around especially if you've been drinking you know people look at you like you're a victim is and there's when you have poor people and rich people all mingling together and Los Angeles has a massive amount of people that are impoverished a massive amount there's 20 million people here who knows how many of them are living below the poverty line it's a lot and if you're flossing in Hollywood and everyone knows where they can find you you know if you're some [ __ ] baller character who's flashing some cash out of the sky bar and people could find you and clock you and watch you and follow you to your car they're going to rob you there's a lot of that going on and might happen only every now and again it's amazing it doesn't happen more than it does it's scary it is scary well it's scary and it's an issue that our society doesn't face our society doesn't face the fact that there's people that grow up with no shot they're [ __ ] from the jump shitty roll the dice terrible and being born in in in incredibly impoverished neighborhoods and there's very little support they're they're just left in their parents' hands and their parents are morons I mean that's that's the reality of babies growing up in poor neighborhoods I didn't even think of it like that cuz La is it's rich and poor like on top of each other oh yeah like each well not only that but disconnected from each other right where which is different than New York and New York poor people and rich people all sort of mingle together on the subway mingle together walking down the street there's like a a a more more human approach to like people being there it's more it's more Diversified it's like you you run into everybody in New York like I find that it's easier to be in your own little world in La you get in your own little car you stay in your own little neighborhood you don't interact with people in New York you're forced to it's just a part of life in New York and I think that's a healthier thing I think it's it's healthier people have less fear of each other people you know they understand that we have much more common that way it seems like it would be a contradiction because most people think that Los Angeles or California in
general is nicer than New York but I think a lot of that is just the weather the weather here is as nice as is humanly possible it's dude I was just in Edmonton it was [ __ ] 9° it was snowing it was an amazing show had a great time came back to LA 84 [ __ ] suck upon it at the end of November convertible driving it dudes are driving convertibles with their sunglasses on getting head cancer smiling head cancer oh yeah it's amazing this is an amazing spot and I think just that alone is responsible for a lot of the mood of the people in Los Angeles I think that alone helps a lot yeah it's hard to be depressed when you go outside and the weather's absolutely perfect yeah but then you get a call from an agent saying they pass again right and you're like [ __ ] oh my career's in the toilet it's a lot of depression in LA because of just ridiculous expectations that's what I'm saying like if the weather was worse here with the desperation in this town there would be a lot it would be like a lot more I know a girl that moved out here just recently and when I first met her everything was going great lost her job now she's homeless and cold on the streets in Hollywood she how long she been down here what did she do wrong um she just lost her job and then she couldn't get another job and then you know once you're out of money you're out of money she doesn't have any friends so she just found herself she just moved out here whoa yeah it's pretty sad what she mov down here with $2 I don't know I don't know but it it kicked her ass fast and you know you get these texts and you're just like oh Jesus well I'm sorry to hear that that sounds terrible and there are certainly individual stories where horrible [ __ ] happens to horrible people there's no doubt about that but it's also there's a lot of people that come down here and their ideas are really shitty their plan is poor they don't have backups they're not willing to do certain things they don't they don't take the the necessary steps in order to make sure that they're going to be okay I I know this dude came out here to try to be an actor he's been out here he thought he was just immediately apparently he's talented and he thought he was just immediately going to just
start getting roles and basically be a working actor within like a year it's a year and a half in he hasn't gotten a single job and he's starting to freak you know and he doesn't want to work he wants to somehow or another like feed himself as an actor and that's not going to happen right like it's it's you might you might get a movie and You' be fine and so but he keeps banking on this idea that he's going to eventually get a movie and then all his bills are going to be paid like wow do you know how many of the of you there are out there like zero job he has no job he's just no job see that that's why I'm so glad I've been classically trained as a waiter and that's one of the best skills that you can have any City I can get a [ __ ] job at Denny's if it came down to it I could be I could I I have a job skill that I know like being a blacksmith or something and people that haven't been Waiters before I don't know if they're scared to be a waiter but it really is the best fallback job you could possibly have and there's so many [ __ ] restaurants that it's a you can get a good job and make a living you could actually you know do really well as a good waiter is it easy to get a waiter job though I think it is it's just the quality of the restaurant you know like like like yeah you could get a [ __ ] job at Denny's and come in there and make anytime you want to probably yeah that's cuz I Bart in it for years so I know that I can no matter how bad it gets I can always bartend somewhere in some town I always have some backup plan right cuz people are always going to want to get drunk you know yeah plus probably a lot of drunk chicks plus moves on you that way oh it's the best are you kidding me they must bus moves it's the best when you work at a restaurant also you're always getting laid because you become friends and alcoholics with all the other waiters and waitresses and talk [ __ ] about how horrible the day is right and you're all off at 2:00 in the morning at the same time and bang each other oh dude yeah we would live when I was bartending in Dallas we we would just drive to sheveport overnight yeah sheveport Louisiana yeah it's like all right we just made $300 just go cross the border and gamble how far away is Louisiana from Dallas couple hours that's it yeah
wow that the best is it like a different world though you go there sad it's sad like take the coolness of Vegas and then and then like it's just yeah it's not it's F it's like Reno if it got bit by a vampire right yeah Reno it had AIDS yeah there's a few of those places that are like whoa we did a bunch of early UFC's in those places like Casino Magic and [ __ ] like that in like 19 but it's fun when you're a kid like oh I can go and drink underage and gamble hell yeah yeah Windsor CN or Canada Windsor yeah that's where like the whole Midwest would all drive up as kids to drink and go to strip clubs yeah I actually saw some of that when we were in um we were filming in Detroit there was they were talking about how people you could be only be 18 you can get across to Canada you can drink and go to strip clubs and just it was it was awesome because you know most you know they're trying to raise the smoking age in New York to 21 which makes so much sense why is that even a it doesn't make sense no it does make sense yeah why isn't it right that's so stupid it's it's just there's a real problem with cigarettes man they're so [ __ ] addictive so addictive and they're so terrible for you and even a guy like you who's you know you're not completely [ __ ] but yet you can't stop going back to them yeah I know I'm quitting soon no me me and Kayla are going to quit oh that's sweet together yeah together forever we're going to quit why don't you just [ __ ] get electronic cigarettes man it seems like I think that is the worst invention in the world I am so anti- electronic cigarettes what is that you see these kids that are or kids you see these people with like these humongous hookas of electronic cigarettes and they sit there and suck on it like a tit all night long and they're just getting so much nicotine that they're pretty much telling it their body like hey no I need to live on nicotine I need nicotine in my body all day long all day night the electronic cigarettes too accessible cuz like with a cigarette you got to go outside you got to go across the street you got to find a lighter then you got the E cigar it's just always there always there and they did people suuck on those things like seriously like a thumb I I've seen
it yeah right but I from what I understand it's not negative it's not bad for you it's making your body get [ __ ] used to having that much nicotine in it yeah but I don't think nicotine is what's wrong nicotine is not really that bad for you from what I understand nicotine is actually a medicine is highly addictive right I don't know I don't know if it's the nicotine that's necessarily that's really [ __ ] you up they put 590 different chemicals yeah but people are addicted to American Spirit cigarettes and the only in there is tobacco let's find out nicotine uh addiction let's find out let's nicotine addiction and then we'll electronic cigarettes yeah it just to me it seems horrible I don't know man it seems like way better for you yeah but you're going to have to do that for the rest of your life yeah you're always the guy with the e cigarette at way better for your lungs yeah but instead of just quitting is what I'm saying yeah I understand that but if you're looking for a bridge between the two it seems like that would be a way better move unless nicotine's not addictive it seems like you're just getting your body used to way like larger amounts of a drug but like I said I don't think that add dict that nicotine is a real issue ask Siri yeah is nicotine dangerous is nicotine addictive of course it's addictive what here's what I found on the web oh gross [ __ ] nicotine um there's benefits Studies have focused on the benefits of nicot nicotine therapy for adults with ADHD wow so if you can't concentrate you can smoke you should smoke well you know it's really interesting because Stephen King said that that cigarettes like when he quit cigarettes that was one of the most profound effects on his writing that it really really slowed him down because cigarettes really made a synapses fired and he felt like it made it more creative stimulate right yeah oh [ __ ] I have ADHD oh you definitely do are you kidding so keep smoking you're fine yeah yeah doctor says psychoactive effects nicotine's mood altering effects are different by report in particular it is both a stimulant and a relaxant first
causing the release of glucose from the liver and EP epep epinephrine adren from the Adrenal medulla it caused it causes Sim stimulation users report feelings of relaxation sharpness calmness and alertness like any stimulant it may it it may very rarely cause the often uncomfortable neuros psychiatric effects of how about this one AK a t s i a AC by reducing the appetite in raising the metabolism some smokers may lose weight as a consequence H interesting so the medical uses there's a bunch of different medical uses um primary therapeutic use of nicotine is in treating nicotine dependence duh that's so stupid see it doesn't seem like nicotine is something you should suck on all day long that's what I'm saying however in a few situations smoking has been observed to be of therapeutic value these are often referred to as smoke 's paradoxes and although in most cases the actual mechanism is understood only poorly or not at all it is generally believed that the principal beneficial action is due to the nicotine administered and that the administration of nicotine without smoking may be as beneficial as smoking so there's certain things like it says for instance studies suggest that smokers require less frequent repeated revascularization after whoa percutaneous coronary intervention I not many people do that anymore that's what is that that's like an old dance they used to do when the TVs was black and white even know what the [ __ ] that is risk of ulcerative colitis has been frequently shown to be reduced by smokers because you you kind of smoke the inside of your lung you make it tougher you can't get as many diseases that way well that's not true you get more well tobacco smoke has also been shown to contain compounds capable of inhibiting monoamine oxidase which is what you take when you make iasa mono monoamine oxidase is U what keeps DMT from becoming orally active that's why like if you eat like grass and things that have DMT in it you don't just start tripping your balls off because of monoamine oxidase so if it inhibits monoamine oxidase that can act as a hallucinogen too if if it's in like like harmine if it's in like large doses I think it's
close to close to like death doses it becomes a hallucinogen have you tried the ecigarette at all yeah I tried one I tried one recently um because I wanted to see like what kind of a stimulant it gives you and whether or not I would crave it more I puffed it all the way to the BR improv did it do did it do anything yeah it gave me a little jolt but um you know it's not something I want to do on a regular basis I just wanted to experiment with it see what it was like it doesn't have the satisfaction of littering you know right just being a badass I spoke to ehookah in Vegas day might somebody had an ehookah which is really ehookah that's one of those big fat ones right yeah the yeah the big long one yeah that's what Bobby Lee walks around with Bobby Lee's got a goddamn garbage can he brings with him it's filled up with nicotine puts on a roller like he's rolling his golf clubs around him and PJ both just sit there and it just looks like I I just look over I'm like that's not good that's just not good look at that right but that's Bobby Lee you know he's like super indulgent there's those funny guys man there's so many funny guys that are just super indulgent they almost like can't help themselves there's this radio station in uh I believe Columbus Ohio that Bobby Lee was on recently and uh they had it video recorded video and he sat down on the couch and there was a point where they were talking about another comedian uh uh what's the one lady that really funny Chow uh with a tattoos uh Margaret Cho Margaret Cho U Margaret Cho was there and she took off all her clothes and they were talking to Bobby about that and Bobby's like oh you know I can take off all my clothes so he takes off all his clothes and sits down on the couch which is white and then when he sat up and later and left he left a little brown thing and so the radio station cut it out and framed it in its in oh that's so disgusting his dirty little ass and he had like an excuse like oh you don't understand I had an omelet to yeah just [ __ ] his pants right there on their couch oh he's probably cutting little farts too yeah he probably cut one just a little leaked out he didn't want to let
anybody know he probably did it on purpose m like who has a white couch yeah if yeah if you know Bobby okay um ecigarettes let's see if uh it makes sense that ecigarette is healthier oh it's definitely healthier I'm not saying it's healthier I'm just saying that the nicotine intake I believe when you have like one of these big hookas it's probably just drowning you with way more nicotine than you're using maybe but I don't know if it is um healthier not by much I mean i' it just feels like something's missing when you smoke an e cigarette it's like drinking like Coke Zero you know I mean it just doesn't have that yeah it's probably I I I feel more than that like I feel like it's this is not doing anything it doesn't it doesn't feel I have a straw I'm just going H it says the the one thing is nicotine levels they're worried is the electronic cigarette can contain as much nicotine as a regular cigarette or more and then the amount of nicotine an electric cigarette delivers depends on the content of the liquid nicotine cartridge installed in it so they can choose cartridges contain nicotine in a range of strengths everyone goes for the strong ones too coming from cigarettes and you're sucking on that thing all day long instead of hang a cigarette every like 15 20 minutes or so says there are also cartridges that contain liquid without nicotine for users who want the sensory experience of smoking without its effect so that's like fakers that's like people wearing fake glasses well they say that that your first year like you're not really addicted to the nicotine you're addicted to the movement of putting the cigarette into your mouth a year year six months something I read yeah I like that a year six months three months you're just addicted to doing like that I read it somewhere I heard it or somebody else read it they told me about it it's like the um cuz when you drink you get drunk immediately like the cigarette you don't really become addicted to nobody really like no one starts liking nicotine the first time you smoke a cigarette well it's a weird feeling I remember that I did a a sketch once with um Adam Ferrara and Kevin James we were doing this we had this improv troop at this comedy club and I did this sketch and I was supposed to
play this uh this like poet that like smoked a lot of cigarettes so I was SM like really outrageous person so I was smoking these cigarettes on the set I took Adam cigarettes and I was [ __ ] up man I was really [ __ ] up within like two cigarettes or three cigarettes my head was flying I was like my God I'm high this is crazy like I didn't know this gets you high it gets you some weird kind of high yeah it does yeah but it doesn't it doesn't seem to interrupt your skills this is uh by the way I don't know if you can see this it might be hard to see this is Bobby Lee's uh Skid Mark it's really hard to see it's right here yeah I can't see it yeah the contrast is too [ __ ] up yeah so these things apparently it really depends who's making the ecigarette and so in that way like a company like those blue eigs that might be like the way to go like at least you can count on it cuz same kind of the same thing as pot like when you buy a a pot brownie and you don't know what the [ __ ] is in there like you're taking a total guess it's a big gamble the difference between the impact of a pot cookie or a pot brownie can be you just mellow sitting in front of the TV or you on a wild roller coaster ride through the dark recesses of your soul right you know that feeling there's a big big big big goddamn difference and because the fact that it's illegal you know it's not regulated you don't know what you're getting that's probably the same thing with these e cigarettes and sometimes like the the cheaper ones like the gas stations all have them now you know you get the blue one that's the expensive kind but they all have like these like generic kind of versions of them and you you get some of those you suck on and you just get like a mouth full of juice sometimes I'm like oh that can't be good I'm drinking like the juice that makes the Smoke Fall like you're ringing out the filter at the end of a cigarette yeah yeah it's not good there's certain things like like but you can count like one of the best things about uh like Edibles is if you find a company that makes a certain edible and you know what it is like they make a Jolly Rancher okay this Jolly ranch is very predictable one and you're good yeah la speedweed does that all their packages
they have how much they're very clever that way this ecigarette thing is interesting because they're starting to open up these ecigarette lounges in places have you seen them yeah yeah they have ecigarette stores and ecigarette lounges and they they serve different flavor yeah it's weird people have like there's vaporizer stores you know what it's going to do Joe it's going to make nonsmokers try it and then like it and then they're going to get addicted to cigarettes and then Here We Go Again someone's going to think they look cool blowing smoke and they're going to [ __ ] them and they're just going to keep trying to look cool again just keep keep trying to itch that scab got to make you feel better it's like opium DS for people who aren't cool enough to smoke real cigarettes right did you um you where you were in Dallas in Addison places yeah I go back home I walk into a bar and everybody's just ripping cigarettes at the bar yeah it's one of the last places that hangs in there oh yeah oh sweet well when we performed there I was at the uh Addison Improv the last time I was there I was like you guys have a goddamn smoking show I love it like you have to specify a non-smoking show yeah if you're a headliner from out of town you have to let them know in advance no not even that like they have an 800 p.m. nonsmoking show there was like an 800 p.m. nonsmoking show and there was a 10 p.m. Regular Show and the 10 p.m. Regular Show was just a [ __ ] Haze of shitty decision Mak just booze and cigarettes whiskey and Mar lights I'm not a fan of cigarette smoke I don't like the way it smells I think it's disgusting I think it's bad for you but there's something about a bar that's filled with cigarette smoke that just feels right or a crowd of cigarette smokers are always a little bit better for some reason they're [ __ ] animals they're not worried about [ __ ] as much they're not even caring about their own body you know you're not giving to [ __ ] well it's a fact that girls who smoke are like much more likely to do something freaky I'm so attracted to chicks who smoke cigarettes I don't know what it are you too there's something sexy about that man dirty dirty and
they're making shitty decisions and she's like you know sucking on that cancer stick and you're like my dick can't be nearly as dangerous as that oh was she wrong that after [ __ ] cigarette where you're like yeah just laying there or the during no they just seem you're going to tell your friends it's also like knowing that they're not going to stay goodl looking for very long because the cigarettes are a them like more valuable it's a shorter ride she a shorter Wilder ride fatality that was awesome if a girl is like really smoking hard cigarettes by the time she hits 40 the [ __ ] part's over you're my grandma now okay the part's over so write that down that's Brant it's true the part but a girl who's like a crossfit chick or something like that they could go deep in their 40s and still like hot as [ __ ] oh yeah well there was just a picture on Facebook that was circulating where it has two twins they're identical twins and one smoked for the last 15 years the other one didn't it showed them side by side I thought the smoker looked remarkably good compared to the twin I was like that's actually not a very good argument because it's 14 years of enjoying cigarettes and barely paid a price and having fun yeah yeah they're um like hi Barry I think is like 50 or something like how old is she she's hot as [ __ ] man does she smoke no of course not but I'm saying that's the difference if she did like both those let's be honest all right if I had to [ __ ] one I don't know which one why would you do that and shut click this stop shut this off you're shaming these people I'd rather watch beheading videos this is shame you're shaming these people smer I say the I would do the one on the right which one's the smoker I couldn't care less the one on the right is it hey stop dude don't show that anymore I'm sorry don't be showing for real like that's not good karma to just show people and go look how ugly these people's faces are and just if that's a line somewhere that's one thing exactly what we're saying we're looking at they're all beat up by cigarettes we're trying to figure out which one you would rather [ __ ] yeah I would [ __ ] both been through hell okay let's be honest you wouldn't want your face appearing on a [ __ ] podcast who would you rather
[ __ ] this guy or this guy with AIDS the same thing but the smoker would the smoker would if she's still a smoker she would want to be on this podcast that's almost like maybe maybe she just just want to borrow $ five dollar come here and blow everybody for a150 a piece be a disaster she's making shitty decisions they let her she let them put her face in that thing you know they probably gave her money for that she's like well no one's going to see it everyone's going to see it God damn it Brian just showed it to half a million people sorry I'm sorry for that I wouldn't have done it ma'am I just want you to know I just think it's wrong don't do it again you [ __ ] no I'm no I'm just trying to is so the right one is the smoker yes oh so that's the one I would do the other one looks like she has a black never mind just don't be mean don't want to mean don't be mean yeah it's just a person man just a person out there making [ __ ] decisions but I support people's right to make shitty decisions there's something about the temporary nature of bar life and cigarett smokes and bar it's like it's kind of dying out and people are like clinging more to to to their existence and there's a part of me that enjoys a bar that's Smoky just like I enjoy being around drunk people sometimes I like I like drunk people that can handle it you know and I like a bar filled with people that are just out having a good [ __ ] time yeah there's a lot more people that can handle it than can't handle it it's the people that can't handle it they're so outrageous they ruin the time for the people that can walking around throwing up in trash cans in the middle of the street that sounds to me like they handled it if they threw up in each other's underwear then it would be a problem well there's a difference between going to a bar where everybody's cool drinking having a good time and then going to like a a 50 Cent shot night College bar like that's when it's just a [ __ ] train W nitcher yeah nickel right yeah well it's like being around College drinker is just like being around white belts in Jiu-Jitsu class they spazz out they don't know how to relax they're just they you know they don't know how to like go with their friends and just have a couple of shots and clink glasses and go let's do a shot
of Jack [ __ ] you and you hit Knuckles together and you sit there and drink like nice people right and you enjoy it and you have more laughs and you you talk more [ __ ] and you laugh at each other and you have a good time and it's fun and it's you a lot of hugs and high fives and [ __ ] lot of hugs that's what it's like when we drink when we drink it's there's no no one gets any fights there's no anger no one breaks bottles and stabs people there's none of that going on you have to be a special type of [ __ ] to ruin a good drinking moment unless you're drinking Fireball unless you're with one of those dudes that just can't drink we know those dudes that are just nice guys or they just can't [ __ ] can't handle it they just can't do it they can't do it they try they can't pull it off can't [ __ ] do it there's a lot of them they just got that broken Gene in them man there's a lot more in California I noticed also I think there's a lot of psychologically damaged folks out here that have come out here to reinvent themselves and I think you add alcohol to that that particular mindset it's like the problem that I have with that is the same problem I have when guys like Dr Drew start talking [ __ ] about like the withdrawal syndromes that are associated with weed I'm like how many people saying that is like saying that peanuts will kill you because some people are allergic to them right cuz there's some people you eat peanuts you're [ __ ] dead it's not most people though if you're watching some report on Peanuts killing people and you're eating peanuts going what the [ __ ] are you talking about peanuts are delicious I had a peanut butter jelly sandwich this morning I'm eating peanuts now I got some honey roasted peanuts I got some salted peanuts I got some raw come on man peanuts but peanuts do kill a certain percentage of the population that's akin to the same type of people that are getting withdrawal syndromes from weed that's not typical that's not nor so when you pretend you're you're disingenuous if you're on TV pretending that it's a dangerous withdrawal syndrome that's attached to the stronger weed today um no it's not no it's just like people allergic to peanuts it's some rare freaks that smoke pot and next thing you know they're sucking dick for
more pot right those are rare it doesn't happen very often I think the only to me the with drinking now getting older the only only problem I have it is like the hangovers are just so [ __ ] brutal now man that's why you need 180 from the on when you were talking about the beginning I was like I'm like writing it down I'm like okay go ahead well your body does not want you to do that I know but it doesn't want you to drink like that you got to drink a lot of water it's hard to do but if you do it while you're drinking it makes a big difference if like while you're drinking booze you force yourself to pound water you make a lot of trips to the bathroom but so what just do it you'll feel way better it'll just go through your system better you rehydrate better still going to feel like [ __ ] though I just want to have a solid poop one of these days one day Brian if you plan and hope and wish and pray to the PO the poop fairy it'll all come out hard you're probably dying you're probably your body's probably slowly breaking down from the inside you're probably [ __ ] away little pieces of your liver yeah I've I'm detoxing right now I haven't drank days I like to not drink for a couple days a week yeah you don't have to man it's just too your problem is you're in these Social Circles that are like you know everyone's drinking and that's that's how everybody gets laid you know which by the way feminists think is rape wait we were talking about this on on dentary with Kayla she's you know sober now and she was talking about how hard it is thank God no I'm just Kidd how hard it is to like actually get laid or how to like meet somebody cuz when you're with a sober person like if you take a girl out that doesn't drink and you go out din St wor hardest thing to get to the first base even because you're not you know you don't feel confident she it's weird well becomes the weird thing that it actually is you want to stick your penis in her body right it's weird you know it's it's only until people are drunk that sounds like [ __ ] yeah let's do this and a girl look at you you want to [ __ ] her what you're like whoo you know that rarely happens when girls are sober so and if they are sober and they say do you want to [ __ ] what run yeah exactly they probably crazy you're probably going to burn your
house down right after they [ __ ] you [ __ ] is nuts yeah yeah I don't know man it's hard for a girl it's hard for anybody to trust anybody to be inside them it's very evasive it's weird it's weird not only that dudes are like creeps there's a lot of rapists a lot of men are stronger than women women hear every day about some guy in the news who forced himself on a girl and killed her and buried her body and there's crazy stories like there was a kid recently in high school that killed one of the teachers cut her with a box cutter and dragged her into the woods behind the school what the [ __ ] yeah and no one knows why or what or it's it's a mystery he's like 14 he was a well-liked kid the whole thing is craziness and that's a boy you know imagine men if I was a chick I'd be terrified to [ __ ] a guy yeah I mean they should be it's it's it's a weird scenario you know it's one of the only reasons why when you hear um feminists talk about like how to approach girls and how to respect the idea that these girls would be terrified of you I I agree with that wholeheartedly 100% it's a one thing like I've heard it argued against that like the men's rights guys are like that's horeshit that's stupid you know not all guys are [ __ ] you treated us like we're [ __ ] it sort of like manifests this whole you know attitude that certain men and women have with each other but that's easy for dudes to say because they're not getting raped you know and the men's rights guys one goofy thing that they [ __ ] say they really need to shut the [ __ ] up about they go you know who gets raped more than anybody in this country men men in prison men in prison it's a fact men in prison no it's a fact men in prison get raped more than anyone in this country but you know what the problem with that fact is they get raped by men right it's black-on-black crime okay the men are raping the men it's not women breaking into prison and raping [ __ ] poor prisoners right it's men raping men it supports women's idea that these met [ __ ] [ __ ] right it's exactly what they've been saying yeah I mean it's ridiculous it's such a [ __ ] asinine and uh disingenuous argument but would you agree okay feminist and then men's right would you agree there's a balance in the middle like a woman's not doesn't
want some guy who's going to intimidate her and scare the [ __ ] out of her but she doesn't want some [ __ ] who doesn't know how to make a move either as long as there's a fine line in the middle yeah I well I think here's the problem with saying women want everybody wants something different some women like super feminine really thin like heroin looking dudes some women like guys with guts some women like black guys some women like Asian guys some women like timid guys some women like aggressive guys some women like to be held down some women like their hair pulled some women like to be choked some women will [ __ ] scream and stab you if you try to choke them rightly so if you just try to grab them and strangle them like your last girlfriend they'll [ __ ] think you're trying to rape them and they'll grab something and stab you in the dick that's normal too there's a weird broad spectrum of what people like and don't like so whenever you say women don't want a man that does this are you sure because I've met girls that want that you know don't tell me that women don't like to be choked they won't like their face [ __ ] cuz they do there's girls that like their face [ __ ] like I've I've seen it I've heard them say it I've heard The Words which [ __ ] my mouth like whoa holy [ __ ] you're the boss P they puke on your dick and it dries up and it's like a gelatin the next day the first time my girl said it to me I was young man I had never even heard it before I was like wait a minute what my my last girlfriend she scream if I grab the back of her head and this girl's telling me to [ __ ] her face like everyone's different right everyone's different that's what the problem with this whole women like this or men men want a women who not every man wants a woman who does that there's a lot of men want weird [ __ ] there's a lot of men want a mommy a lot of men like women that punch them in the face there's there's men that like there's whole websites dedicated to getting kicked in the balls by girls wearing stilettos there's a lot of weirdness in the world man you can't say men like this and women like that can the only thing you can do is be nice to each other that's the only thing you could do men or women so like the reason why feminism exists the only reason why it exists is because
there's an imbalance if there wasn't an imbalance there wouldn't be this need to be extreme towards that side if it was like if men were like really kind to women and there was no dispute then it would be would be be ridiculous to have feminism nobody would believe in it the only reason why it can exist like whether you believe in a a lot of the things that they generalize are not and I don't I don't believe in the generalizations I believe there's a lot of good people out there and I think as soon as you start lumping men in the general categories it's just like lumping women or anyone in the general categories we're too broad in a spectrum there's always an exception everything but there's too many different variables when it comes to humans interacting with each other especially sexually but the only reason why feminism exists at all is because there's something wrong if there was nothing wrong if there was no women that were getting [ __ ] on if there was no sexual harassment in the workplace if there was no discrimination when it comes to employment if there none of those things existed you couldn't make the argument just it's that simple that nobody would buy it the women wouldn't buy it nobody would join they'd be like what are you talking about like every men men treat women like they're themselves living another life right you but that's not the case so when you have whether it's the men's rights guys or the feminists the reason why these groups exist is cuz something's wrong there's not a balance you know and there's always going to be someone that's there in the far end of the Seesaw trying to tip it one way or the other it's but that they exist because something's going on the men's rights guys exist because there's something going on because a lot of guys do get [ __ ] over and divorced man I've seen it I've seen some brutal [ __ ] happen to men in marriages I've seen some men that were targeted by women who were just they were Financial assassins and they went after men for their money and got pregnant with these men for their money and stole money from these men I've seen it I know it happens I've seen it without this the baby part I've seen I've seen people get [ __ ] over I've seen it happen many times that doesn't mean that the men's rights guys
are right when they say stupid [ __ ] like men get raped more than women you know yeah you [ __ ] get raped by each other you dumb [ __ ] that's such a dumb thing to say it's just it's so it's like it's such a disingenuous argument are you really worried about being raped dude cuz I don't worry about it ever how about that don't go to prison yeah I don't worry about getting raped man it never comes up no and I'm around UFC fighters all the time I'm around people who actually could rap doesn't really come up I just when a guy says that if a guy was talking about divorce laws and the idea that you know someone can actually Target someone and someone can extract money from them by you know by basically a conspiracy you're conspiring to rip guys off and that's what a gold digger is it's a whole professional the songs about it I mean it's not like a kind of a myth like a unicorn or something like that it's not a chupacabra it's a real [ __ ] thing it's a category in society gold diggers and you know that's not good either but then there's the guys who fall for those traps what is that that's natural selection you stupid [ __ ] how do how do you not look at her and look at you and not know she's after your money you're disgusting what do you think it's your personality you know you're walking around with a [ __ ] $10,000 watch on driving a Ferrari and you wonder why women want you to pay for their rent okay that's what you do stupid look at them on both sides both sides of Defense that's how I rock it but you know I'm trying to I'm trying to bridge gaps here trying trying to bring people together trying to let feminists and men's rights Advocates and and everybody know that we're all just humans when I see like I was watching this thing about atheism plus I don't know if you know what atheism ISM plus is see the people that want to attach atheism with core values like against sexual harassment racial discrimination my and they they had this really long verbose speeches but my problem with that when I was watching that I was like duh right duh that's what that's what essentially that's what it is anyway all of it gay marriage duh yeah racial discrimination duh you know sexual discrimination duh all of it's duh yeah it shouldn't be there right it
should everyone should just we should all know that it's like when you start railing on about it you make me want to sexually harass somebody because you're so [ __ ] annoying and it's so obvious what you're saying it's so stupid to keep harping on [ __ ] that I say we shouldn't stab babies yes yes no stabbing babies so profound yeah nobody if you don't want gay people to get married you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] if you don't think that black people should have the same rate of pay as a white person you're an [ __ ] if you don't think black people should live in your neighborhood you're an [ __ ] if you don't it's all nonsense it's it's so clear by this day and age that it's duh so when I see something like atheism plus and these long drawn out speeches where they're mentioning all these other things that we should all already agree on like where are we starting from are we starting from barbarism are we [ __ ] Pirates are we are we educating [ __ ] horrible criminal people that's what it feels like yeah it's like stop harping on this [ __ ] enough already we should literally make two countries we should saw the [ __ ] country in half and put up a giant fence and anybody who doesn't want gay marriage anybody who doesn't want black people anybody you know hates Asians get over there stop right you need to figure it out on your own to many people have already figured it out half the that's I would say like a small island I would put like an island just let go and do that it might even be half the people but it's going to be look my point is if you're joining atheism plus Jesus [ __ ] Christ aren't you already there I mean you really have to repeat that or mean how much preaching to the choir has to be done they have to chirp on that same [ __ ] that we all rational people already agree in saw this [ __ ] right down the Mur we'll take the left you take the right go right and we can all live in each other's spots if we want to but let's be let's recognize what we have over here we have a bunch of black haters bunch of Jew haters bunch of gay Bashers all in one country we could give them Louisiana no Louisiana is pretty cool what should we give them North Dakota give them South Dakota nobody even goes there I would say Rhode Island put them out move the South Dakota
people to like Connecticut they'd be so happy so much Delaware there's some spots you can give them some upper Alaska areas well they have camps that's what we should do take races round them up and put them in Camp not can live with polar bears you want to know how much you're going to love black people after 9 months of living with polar bears I got an idea let's take everybody and put them in a camp that's never been done before has it this is a good idea well clearly we have too many people that suck it just it's so simple it's just don't be an [ __ ] that you don't need to that's it so so simple [ __ ] it and it really in this day and age it's really all that's left you know if you I mean someone can say I'm a blank fill in the blank with religion as soon as your religion involves killing people that don't believe in your religion you're an [ __ ] doesn't matter if you call yourself a Muslim or a Mormon or a Christian you know any Christian that believes in killing people that don't believe in Christ you're missing it you're missing it completely and what about that little voice in that side that just says this isn't this just doesn't feel right some people don't have that voice dude they have the voice that says eat the baby but right but that's a small minority of of sociopaths I'm talking about even the most hardcore Christian deep downside if someone's going to murder another you go ah this just doesn't feel good if everything's going well see that's what the thing is though the thing is that only exists if everything's going well if everything's going well in people's lives and they're not living a really Savage existence where they're real Hard Scrabble trying to feed their family and their children once that starts happening people get really Savage really quickly right but what I'm saying is like a hardcore Christian deep down inside you know that it's not right you shouldn't be against gay people being happy you why don't you listen to that voice yeah but they don't know because if if someone really believes in an ideology okay if you really believe in the teachings of the Bible there are passages in the Bible that you can interpret as saying that a man should not lie with a man and that if a man
does that that man is against God and then if you get really crazy about defending God's will you might conceivably think that you're doing God's work by killing someone who happens to be gay it's a ridiculous aspect of ideology it's a real problem there was a [ __ ] crazy video that Sam uh Harris tweeted after uh he did my podcast we we talked about Islam and we talked about um people that think that it's radical Islam but it's not radical Islam it's just some of the tenants of being a Muslim that they all believe in find that video find that video it's uh Sam Harris uh on it's actually on samh harris.org it's on his website he had he wrote a whole blog post about it and then linked the video and you watch it and they're talking about stoning people to death for adultery and how many people agree with it and they're all agreeing and raising their hands like no that just makes you an [ __ ] right that just makes you an [ __ ] try to find the video it's in there somewhere it says something that's it right there Islam or islamophobia now watch this and this is fascinating because this guy is really really confident when he's making a speech about what what uh Muslims believe and don't believe I mean this is actually islam. this is not a website that's designed to like shame the Muslims they're very proud of what this guy's saying it's it's it's very radical it's really interesting pull pull it forward a little bit till till you see the guy talking how they always attack the Muslims or Islam in particular while for for some certain things for example about gays in uh they always attack us and and the teachings towards this matter for example while in Christianity in Judaism it's the same uh punishment uh that exists you know I it's Haram and uh so why they're always for example focusing on Islam and not Judaism or or Christianity while for example also in Jerusalem for those who've been to Jerusalem in in in the bosses in Jerusalem for example women sit separate than men for example you know so why like 5 minutes ago or early we were asked about why Muslims uh has to be sitting separate you know men and women but they never ask uh these
questions to Jews or or Christians why specifically Muslims or Islam didn't you answer this question yesterday and you said that you need to ask the media yeah yeah it's true yeah but he needs an answer here yesterday he was not here here but the other people were here yeah the other people will uh suffer because of you the the the answer is very simple Islam is the truth and Christianity and Judaism are not the truth oh what a great answer I give this topic oh it's the truth watch this watch this this is where it gets interesting y but you are the you're the doctor yes can we have the camera can we have this camera focusing on all the audience here can we have this camera focusing on all the audience because every now and then every time we have a conference every time we invite a speaker they always can come with the same accusations this speaker supports death penalty for homosexuals this speaker supports death penalty for this crime or this crime or that he is homophobic they subjugate women etc etc etc it's the same old stuff coming all the time and we always try to tell them I always try to tell them that look it's not that speaker that we inviting who has these extreme radical views as you say these are General views that every Muslim actually has every Muslim believes in these things just because they're not telling you about it or just because they're not out there in the media doesn't mean they don't believe in them so I will ask you everyone in the room how many of you are normal Muslims you're not extremist you're not radical just normal Sunni Muslims please raise your hands everybody mashallah Subhan Allah okay take down your hands again how many of you agree that men and women should sit separate please raise your hands they're all raising their hands by the way except for one badass [ __ ] in the front row that keeps his arms crossed everyone agree every now brother and sisters Subhan Allah so so it's not just this radical sh allahar next question how many of you agree that the
punishments described in the Quran and the Sunnah whether it is death whether it is stoning for adultery whatever it is if it is from Allah and his messenger that is the best punishment ever possible for humankind and that is what we should apply in the world who who agrees with that everyone raises their hand 4,000 people allahar are you all radical extremists and they're all laugh so all of you are saying that you are common Muslims you are all go to the different massages no way or is it are you like a specific sect like the Islam n sect or anything like that are you like that no is it are you like that please raise please raise your hand if you're like this extreme Islam that sect or anything like that no one raises their hand allahar how many of you just go to this normal masss in Norway every the normal Sunni please raise your hands everyone raises their hands Allah abbar so what's what's the politicians going to say now what is the media going to say now that we're all extremists we're all radicals we need to deport all of us from this country Subhan Allah Allah okay okay kill it amazing yeah but is it is it just because that group in particular is like going to like a huge church and then they're all just like yes we believe you know are these just normal people out in the Street's saying is in the Quran right those are the punishments that are for homosexuality for um adultery those were the punishments right you're supposed to be killed and they're saying that every Muslim agrees with this everyone at least in that group of 4,000 people agrees with that man whether or not that carries over to larger groups or whether or not people have a more moderate view that's a small group the B ain't that small bro not the whole country though know but everyone in the group AG it's a weird thing when you can get that many people and they're all raising their hands at throwing rocks at people until they die but if you go to like one of our Ministries you know like our uh people that you know uh the guys that always ask for money and you know like those big groups of people the churches that you have on late night TV Min yeah like but the right Ministries yeah if you see one of those and he did the same
thing and then you know all those people might be like that all you know what I mean all like-minded people drawn together in one place could be yeah could be but I think the difference being is that he's citing very specific passages in the religion that deal with crimes and punishments and that you know they they're they're they're agreeing on murder oh yeah basically because it's the truth yeah because it's the truth that's all he it's just the truth yeah that's um that becomes a problem yeah yeah that's that's like that's not just simply whether or not you think that other people should believe what you believe but you believe if two guys [ __ ] each other they should throw Rock to them until they die that's AJ if you look at this group if you really look at the people they're all young people they all look like Call of Duty players Actually I don't even see one old person over the age of 20 30 I mean well it's kind of hard to see quite honestly you see some people in the front row but everything back behind that gets really blurry you don't really see how closely you know see a close up of their faces but the front row yeah definitely young people I think a lot of like you know radical religions they find people that are looking for guidance you know and they find people that are looking for some sort of a a clear pattern there's something about like that guy talking okay he was so confident that everyone was going to raise their hand along with him yeah and the things that he was saying there's a there's this like appeal to like being a part of that you know there's like this this you're drawn to the idea being a part of this crazy group that is so down for what they believe that they think that you should kill people with rocks if they don't follow some old old writing there's something appealing about that it becomes something like you you become like a part of like some badass group if you join up with that you become like a serious person who really believes in God like woo it appeals to it appeals to a weird aspect of the human psyche what's that song that's playing in the background I don't hear anything something from someone's laptop or something leaking over a soundtrack to islam. net yeah yeah what was
that freak out white people they probably don't even like that music we want to freak them out it's like a t evangelist is what I was trying to think of earlier but that's what it seemed like it's um did it look like they were all on board with that though because there was a lot of hesitation it seemed like on some of their faces well that dude in the right hand corner with his arms crossed yeah that [ __ ] never that guy never raised his hands he's just looking at the ground too he looks pretty Russian but they a lot of them were kind of laughing a little bit like they weren't even like I don't know if we do 100% believe this well I don't know about that I think you guys are looking into that that dummy on to the right side because Islam is the truth that simple and Christianity and Judaism are not the truth very nice you shut up you dummy you just trying to get friends you don't have any friends you want friends to be on your side you're old you're old and you're pretending that makes sense you don't have anybody that talks to you if you get that stupid beard and pair of glasses and a [ __ ] Blazer on like you're a college professor and you say that in front of a group of people and don't know that it sounds [ __ ] you don't have any friends did you know that there's an oculi Rift porn now and it's connected to like a Fleshlight device and then you just sit there and you get [ __ ] heard what is the guy seeing he's seeing a an anime character that he's [ __ ] and like the more he [ __ ] her the more he like that's so ridiculous and it's very south park- like anime E I don't want to see that guy's dick I'm just know that you're going to see some bass Bas H can you go Domino yeah oh it's a matter of time before they have a robot that [ __ ] you yeah yeah I wonder if it'll be that first or it'll be like the new thing that Motorola came up with have you seen this it's a patent for a tattoo that they're going to tattoo a microphone on your voice box like some sort of electronic tattoo so they're going to literally implant they're going to start implanting microphones on people's necks and with that you're going to be able to talk directly to the device without any Distortion or or sound these aren't the droids you're looking yeah exactly
that's how it starts I mean this is how it starts that's exactly how it starts it's it's it's more like by your command it' be cool for people that that have problems talking you know like with throat cancer or something like that no it won't it won't have any VAR it's not a voice box it's just to the computer chip yeah it's just a microphone it's only a microphone see this they're going to tattoo that [ __ ] gangster style on your neck like an Ethan Hawk movie like an Ethan Hawk movie back when girls wanted to [ __ ] him he probably did a few of these movies back when he was still kind of cute now he's like a dad he's a dad in a horror movie a lot but back then he was a cutie he was a cute smart guy who's going to rescue you because you have that tattoo on your neck and it starts glowing so means your life tokens are up or something did I just make a plot for a new hit someone called Michael baay it's a great idea are you gonna go see Thor oh yeah I would love to see Thor I love those movies I was a huge Marvel Comics fan growing up so I see every one of those [ __ ] things Iron Man Thor what have you I enjoyed Iron Man 3 I thought it was kind of interesting it wasn't as good as Iron Man 2 but it's still a good ride same thing with Wolverine I love the new Wolverine wasn't good as the last one but it was all right you thought this you thought uh Origins was better than this new one yeah I thought it was I thought that one with the bones coming out of his knuckles come on just a little but the Avengers this the Hulk scene alone for the Avengers was worth the price of Evis the Hulk they have the Hulk down for the longest time they used to have to get a dude pretended to be the Hulk that was [ __ ] but now they can CGI the [ __ ] out of the Hulk it's the only thing that works with CGI better than it works in real life cuz the Hulk is supposed to be this freakish thing that doesn't even look remotely like a person right not supposed to be a bodybuilder yeah the new one the new Hulk is the [ __ ] dude yeah I was worried about that at first because I was I kind of liked Edward Norton playing it and then I saw and he [ __ ] knocked out of the park it was awesome Edward Norton could suck it see the new one yeah it's over [ __ ] what's the new guy's name Mark Mar Ruffalo Mark Ruffalo yeah he's
way he's way better I believe that he's going to turn to the Hulk that scene when he goes the the trick is I'm always angry best fuing scene of the movie believe I believe that that dude's just barely keeping it together when he turns man it's [ __ ] fantastic but I didn't buy Scarlet Johansson surviving that [ __ ] please all you got is some [ __ ] flippy moves you got some gymnastics you got the Hulk chasing you running through walls and you just managed to survive have you been watching Shion of disbelief have you been watching Agents of Shield on NBC no is it any good or whatever Channel talk I'm watch too many shows dude but that one guy is in the show the one that died in The Avengers yeah how the [ __ ] he died in The Avengers yeah I remember they make you think he does they give you like the like a plane card or something right with blood on it that's right yeah I don't know they could do whatever the [ __ ] they want they bring people back with time machines and [ __ ] it's comic books believe in Thor he believe just about to say that a guy came from from another planet and our problem is there's a guy that maybe died man I'm not buying this this [ __ ] show is over I buy that little skinny scientist guy could become a huge hulking 8,000lb Green Man scarl Johansson doing back flips yeah I don't buy that the Hulk can fly through the air but he can't catch Scarlett Johansson as she does gymnastics to get away from him he literally can leap like a bullet through the air and he can't catch her [ __ ] continuity you [ __ ] how about a little continuity how about write something that makes more sense and don't have that scene [ __ ] I thought of the the best [ __ ] was Captain America and Iron Man duking it out the wood upset with each other yeah that was well it was Iron Man and Captain America they were talking [ __ ] to each other remember it was Thor and Captain America Thor and Iron Man went to war right but Captain America and uh Iron Man were talking [ __ ] to each other cuz Captain America was like yeah you see who you are without that machine he's like [ __ ] you're on steroids right Captain America was like a little skinny guy they gave him like the super roids come on son this is a stupid [ __ ] argument we're having here that
was a great scene those are good movies man they're fun they're stupid they're fun and when they're over you feel like a boy again right you feel like you just watch something [ __ ] nobody cried you didn't have to [ __ ] explain yourself afterwards well I felt like she was being unfair to him because his whole there's that you have to interpret yeah not interested [ __ ] got blown up yeah women like to interpret films after they're over guys like to try to [ __ ] you that's what we try to do we take you to a movie let just we're just trying to give you something fun to do before we [ __ ] you it's very nice to us or at least try to [ __ ] you I mean maybe want to say it did is Bad Grandpa good that looks good I heard that was amazing is it funny yeah everyone that said saw it said it was amazing it looks [ __ ] hilarious a lot of it in Columbus Ohio is filmed too by the way fun fact really y it's a lot of dumb people know how you pull that [ __ ] off they don't realize that's Johnny Knoxville like what what are you [ __ ] they haven't even got the first Jackass yet yeah if you don't know he looks that's the amazing thing they can do now with with makeup you know like even back when Jamie Kennedy had that show the Jamie Kennedy experience the make it was a little sketchy like you had to be like kind of gullible to fall for it but now the Go I mean he looks like an old guy man it's perfect I heard really like to see it in person you know what I mean have you ever seen that kind of makeup on somebody oh you have I have yeah I saw when Kevin James was doing uh Here Comes the Boom they made him up like he got the [ __ ] kicked out of him dude I believed it totally believed it he looked like a guy who just got beat up they gave him like welts they they put him cuts and it was it was amazing like they can make you look pretty [ __ ] up and they can you know they can do some pretty amazing [ __ ] like with making you look old especially you can't make an old guy look young you got to do that with like special effects but you can make a young guy look old pretty easy that would be cool if they can make old guys look young now it never looks right it never looks right in the movies when they do that this thing that I've been doing for my back this uh Reino ke and anybody if you have if anybody has
uh a back injury and uh like a bulging disc situation my bulging disc has completely gone away and uh I just found this out through MRIs I had a 6 millimeter bulging disc in my neck that was numbing my fingers and through spinal decompression which is this thing where like pulls in your neck and straightens like extends your discs and they they they draw back in and you do it slowly over a long period of time a lot of stretching changing my diet a lot of raling and all that stuff and something called prolozone therapy which is Prolo therapy which strengthens ligaments and tendons and it's mixed with ozone which helps you heal just doing all that stuff my my disc has completely stopped swelling it's gone down to where it looks like a normal disc now which is crazy that means 6 millim went back in and I didn't do Jiu-Jitsu for more than 6 months so I knew that I wasn't I just gave myself the time I was still able to work out in a lot of ways but I knew that if I got my neck yanked on again it would probably go right back are you going to go back to jits do you think yeah definitely but now this Regino stuff that I've been doing is this thing that they developed in Germany and it's this Blood spinning procedure they take the your blood and then they introduce it to heat and the heat makes your blood grow like white blood cells I believe and then they spin it in a centrifuge and they draw this yellow liquid out of it that turns out to be like the most potent anti-inflammatory drug known to man and your own body makes it your blood makes it they figure this [ __ ] out in Germany and they do it in Santa Monica now but the guy in Germany has figured out a way to they're very close to being able to give you an injection that restarts your body's production of collagen which is what gives people wrinkles so when old dudes get wrinkles or old women get wrinkles this will let your body restart its collagen production production and your face your wrinkles in your face will start to disappear wow like they are two years away from curing wrinkles it's incredible nice like [ __ ] cancer we got wrinkles down well they're that's how vain we are as a country they're going to have a lot of things down by you're still going to die but you're going to
look great they cure a lot of [ __ ] cancer now man a lot of cancer when they pull this out of you when they pull they just inject it back in they they spin it this centrifuge and there's if you go to uh if you just look up the regeno I think it's re e g n o k i n e um they explained the the process it's I think it has a different name in Germany it's called ortho Keen or something like that but basically it's a blood spinning procedure it's not like platelet rich plasma it's different and it's uh it's getting your blood to react to uh to heat and then they spin it and then they withdraw the stuff out of it and people with arthritis people that have like serious injuries pton Manning started his football career like he's he was like almost retiring he had two neck surgeries went to that dude in Germany bam playing football like a champ now so many uh uh I know several MMA athletes that have gone over there the place in Santa Monica and the place in Germany to get their knees fixed people like serious arthritis they they get shot with this stuff and within a week they have this incredible range of motion that they haven't had in years it's amazing stuff there's doctors are so [ __ ] smart man there's just like every year they're figuring out some new thing and every year they're making people healthier fixing injuries I keep hearing that sound I think it's outside it's not it's not coming through um the microphone it's coming through outside somewhere yeah I think it might be like a UPS truck thing or something may me squeaky Wheels but it's just it's so incredible when you see all the different [ __ ] did you see that thing where a guy made um um 3D in a 3D printer made a uh an artificial hand for his son oh yeah yeah for like 10 bucks yeah it's awesome they also figured out a way to make the first functional gun in a metal 3D printer they made a metal 3D printer and they they made a pistol and fired off 50 rounds with this pistol that's scary though [ __ ] yeah that's [ __ ] terrifying it's all crazy is this the the hand that this guy had he created this for looking $10 hand it's hard to see what that is good boy hand it's his hand is holding that object hand he never had that's the metal things are his fingers wow yeah
he's holding something like a a pipe or something but we're really close I met a guy in New York when I was doing that see if you can click on that link and show the video okay I met a guy in New York when we were doing um that uh sci-fi show that had a complete artificial hand look at that 10 bucks amazing made it with a [ __ ] digital printer it cost me $50 to get head shots printed at Kinko the other day head shot head shot guy got a [ __ ] hand head shots are hilarious this one guy um in Australia got his leg and his arm bitten off by a shark and got a new artificial arm and an artificial leg these robotic bionic carbon fiber arms and legs great and he walks around dude with no limp it's the weirdest [ __ ] ever see me find this uh man gets artificial limbs after bitten off by shark see if we can find this yeah giant shark o nope killed kills South American South African germ tourist on life support after losing armor in Hawaii well there's a lot of [ __ ] people get killed by sharks [Music] dude what bionic leg helps shark attack victim walk is that it no that ain't it see if this is it Matt LA to being to what is being called the world's first bionic man we're going to check him out in action in just a minute but first how the bionic man came to be no way what the [ __ ] that's not right Matt Law is the bionic man that was creepy um oh 100% biotic man that's kind of interesting has come it's a nearly Bionic Man assembled from Prosthetics and artificial Parts already in real use in real people we might change what it means to be human artificial heart artificial tracha artificial bionic hands artificial eyesight implantable kidney artificial blood bionic EXO skeleton restoring walking ability to people who are paralyzed 28 different parts in all together for the first time Vermeer a Swiss social psychologist host an upcoming special on the project that's crazy whoa yeah we're only a few hundred years away from not being able to tell whether or not a person's a robot yep in 200 years I think I'm not that's not even a conservative gamble 200 years is it's probably not even a 100 really right when I say 200 years I mean that's
like that's 100% right if we don't blow ourselves up 200 years from now right yeah if we make it to 200 they're already living among us guys you think yes just think about 200 years ago it was slavery was legal right you know wrap your head around that could you imagine what we're going to see like when we're like super old like what we're going to tell our kids and grandkids 200 years ago go no photographs nope no cars slavery is legal you're riding around H animals like an [ __ ] you you have a horse you take your stupid stinky horse everywhere and you have to tie it up it shits all over the place you know what outer space was you know what the [ __ ] that is a bunch of [ __ ] Gods up there lighting candles yeah nobody know 200 years ago it is so long ago when you think of like if you had to go back in time and live like people lived 200 years ago it would suck a fat one it wouldn't even be a little fun everybody would die every time the flu comes into town all your best friends are dead dead dead you don't live if you get an infection dead you just got to survive at that point 200 years later we're talking about 200 years from now where there's robots that you literally can't tell if it's a person or robot for sure right 100% and no wrinkles I think they're already here do you think that robot prostitutes would be the first Market oh yeah probably right violence or sex how much how much blowback do you think there will be with robot prostitutes if women you know will women like draw a line the sand that [ __ ] robot is a cheating thing I'm sure they'll find a way to justify that yeah yeah like when will it come like okay let's say like what if the robot looks like like this alien head doesn't look remotely like a person looks fake as [ __ ] if the robot looks like this by the way that one that you sent me the other or today or last night that's amazing same guy wow that was crazy yeah that's a zombie that he made for us um I can't wait to see that in person can you can can normal people order these does he have a website well I'll find out I'll find out what his what his deal is uh his name is Francisco Hernandez and he's uh he's in La he's an LA guy but he made me this [ __ ] dope ass zombie that's coming
here in this week yeah yeah it's so cool to just be able to get uh artists to create [ __ ] for us it's so cool so so many different things I got to bring the gorilla in the the the werewolf [ __ ] the grill in the ass still have that at home yeah yeah I just shows up shows up at the [ __ ] ice house I'm like what is this I opened it up it's a [ __ ] werewolf [ __ ] a gorilla in the assest because of an idea that I had a dream I had once this werewolf and a gorilla having sex and I was trying to like creep around the outside of the room so they didn't notice and get out of there that made me made me the desk Squad cat but he has a huge hog like a big dick that's that dude's a freak he's awesome that dude's a freak so back to what you were saying so so something as ugly as like they would still get mad if we had sex with it yeah that's what I'm saying if it gets to like if it looks like a fake thing women probably would be like treat it like a Fleshlight right but as it gets closer and closer to a real person like if it looks like Robbie the robot from Lost in Space danger danger you can stick your dick in that no one's going to say anything would would they let you print out a face of her though like so if it looks just like your wife yeah but then why would you want come home her face is covered in seven Ines of [ __ ] you never clean it you just keep shooting on her face and she's like what are you doing you're trying to drown me is this like some passive aggressive [ __ ] right TR drown me and come or you're married to a Bernette and you come home and a robot's blonde and that's when she just freaks the [ __ ] out you come home you're putting black face on your robot your wife is like what the [ __ ] do you really want like I knew it did you know a teacher got fired in Toronto because he dressed up like Mr te for Halloween and put blackface on yeah well you can't be Mr te without it how the [ __ ] that is so dumb yeah that you would a guy has a Mr te outfit on and you he's not allowed to darken his skin what kind of [ __ ] PC World are we living somebody in San Diego got same thing happened because he dressed up as a bob sled team member and a bob sled team member actually said oh no that's funny I like that but all look I'm going
to take the opposite on this like all sympathy to that but if you're a teacher and you know how sensitive people are when you're pulling your Mr T costume out of the closet you got to go you know what I probably shouldn't do this yeah but your mayor smokes crack and wants to yeah no kidding there's got to be that as you're applying back face as a teacher you should go yeah this is probably not going to sit well with people [ __ ] I love Toronto Toronto's the [ __ ] Toronto is the [ __ ] it's it's amazing amazing City it's really crazy because it's like a city but yet it's also like a bunch of really nice people that's almost like small tow you know it's it's very strange I I I think it's one of the rare cities in this in this country that has a very unique Vibe of its own Vancouver has a Vibe of its own as well Montreal has a Vibe of its own as well very great Vibe too Montreal is a great comedy town but Toronto I think it's my favorite city in Canada M me too there's just something special about that place I I would move there even though it's it's cold as [ __ ] that's how much I love Toronto mhm like if [ __ ] got weird I don't know if I'd live in Vancouver I think I might live in Vancouver but Vancouver even though it doesn't get cold it gets like a lot of rainy and [ __ ] and Toronto is pretty dope and it's got a great comedy community as well yeah Toronto's got a sweet it's a a lot of lot of comics there Joey Diaz call what the [ __ ] don't put me on speaker phone I have something to tell you can't be calling me in the middle of a podcast Joey how dare you I just notice we have the exact same phone but yours is white and with a uh or black with a white cases mine's white with a black case I swap cases you want a black case you want a oh no that I wanted to do a contrast oh you're crazy I like the white case because I can see it because I would put the black case down on everything's black black leather black yeah I see I I don't see it as much I like it I got this because they didn't have the black but then once I I ordered the black in the mail I put the black on said you know what I like the white better yeah but that case is the perfect case it's kind of cool too when you close it like the window on the outside of it yeah it shows the um makes a
window yeah it does a weird thing and you have like C you have like things like camera access you know you just access your camera there's so much more you can do with these Droid phones than with an iPhone I mean it's a big goddamn difference I'm about to jump over yeah yeah I hate my iPhone well I don't hate the iPhone it's just too small the the screen is just when you compare it even to the Galaxy S4 it's just too small they just need to catch up they need to catch up I don't think they're going to the thing that I one of the other reasons why I wanted to try a Droid out is because when I if when I'm honest and I look at it I think Apple makes the greatest computers on Earth I don't see myself switching from the Apple laptops I've tried windows I think they're too vulnerable I know I know Mac is vulnerable as well I don't think it's as vulnerable and I just think it's higher quality I think they work better if I was on a budget [ __ ] yeah I'd get a laptop from Windows I'd get like a Lenovo or something like that one there's some good brands but if you can afford it apples are better but then I see all the different people that are working on phones and I go you know what I don't see it with phones anymore with phones I see too many companies that are working on Android too many there's too much competition they're they're constantly innovating they're constantly cranking out new phones they have new features they have new camera megap like what is this megapixels on this [ __ ] camera I don't know it's pretty good though some insane like 12 or some [ __ ] like that I don't even know what it is I do think I like the iPhone's camera a lot better though yeah after using it a lot iphon you [ __ ] with the settings though I have iPhone 5s and the camera they they have a really nice lens in this one and I think yeah it's way better than the I've been taking test shoots and and stuff like that still better I think that's too bad why don't they come out with a bigger [ __ ] phone I would go back it's coming [ __ ] bags I bet I bet it's coming dirty [ __ ] get it together I actually talked to somebody that uh uh knows like their friend works for Apple you going to get them fired I don't know the the person in real life I was just talking to him and he's like yeah his he's
saying like how just sad it is right now at Apple it's just like everyone that even works there is kind of not just excited and yeah yeah he's dead with when a guy like Steve Jobs is not alive anymore things are going to get weird mhm that guy was like a a primal Force he was like a force of nature I mean the guy literally lived and breathe that company and when a guy like that mean he only took like a dollar in salary every year I mean he was like a maniac you know he lived for that [ __ ] company and everybody says that he was a [ __ ] and like he would yell at employees and [ __ ] but could you imagine if you were like a incredibly obsessed [ __ ] and your employees were just regular people just going to work you like yeah it ain't got to cut it man you know you got to be obsessed like me like guy's an [ __ ] and he is an [ __ ] you know if people are having a job they shouldn't have to work 90 hours a week okay but there's some companies that like demand crazy [ __ ] like that and then eventually employees like wake up and go what the [ __ ] am I doing speaking of which Cliffy be is coming on the podcast he'll be on soon speaking of free agents there's a there's an app that I don't want want to talk about don't talk about it then [ __ ] right put his picture up on the screen the [ __ ] is wrong with you God all right off I want to tell you about it it's just it's I you everyone else is going to talk about it very soon so I don't know if we should even wa what's the issue it's just uh it's just one of these apps that you know as a guy you can't use but girls can and I've been trying to hack the system like make fa Facebook pages and all this stuff just so I can oh I know what you're talking about I know exactly what you're talking about we'll talk we'll talk about this afterwards you son of a [ __ ] I don't even know what the [ __ ] saying it's really bad yeah okay um Justin Foster what has the um the the process been like of uh moving from Dallas to LA and did was was there any hiccups along the way it was just frustrating at first um because I mean like moving as a comic because you know when you're in a place for so long and you're used to regular stage time you're used to doing you know
and then you come here and it's like at F and you know first it's like two minutes at a coffee shop and then waiting around two hours to do three minutes so that was kind of frustrating you know what I mean because I wanted to be up more right I guess and then after but then after a while you okay this is the spots that you hit and everything did you feel like was there any point in time where you felt like you know what I'm just [ __ ] spinning my wheels I got to get back to death Texas I got to get back to Texas and try to no there was a couple of times when I came really close MoneyWise I'm like [ __ ] I'm running out of money and I don't want to be homeless but then something would something would come up and and I I felt that there was more of a challenge here because you do have to start over I believe as a comic when you're anywhere else in the country when you come to La you have to start unless you're already established TV and [ __ ] which I'm not you have to start over from the beginning and I kind of hated SL enjoyed that yeah even when I was on TV when I came here I was already on TV and I had a audition at the store I didn't get ped I was a non-paid regular really for a few months and then I finally got a paid regular status and then I got like late night spots but yeah you had to pay your dues man you didn't give a [ __ ] if you had a sitcom no one gives a [ __ ] how long you've been doing it in what other town if you're not doing it in LA you're not really doing it yeah yeah it's a different thing it's also there's so many people out here they can't just trust you that you're good right you know yeah it's just too just too many I mean you're going to go up at the comedy store or the Laugh Factory there's going to be 10 guys that have been on movies TV shows and back to back to back to back to back and all do in 15 minutes you know and you want your 15 minutes you got to earn that [ __ ] right exactly and so it's easy to get frustrated at first and go oh [ __ ] this I'm going back home but then everybody I talked to like you just gotta you just got to fight through all that [ __ ] how long you been here now almost two two years you got to do one of our Ice House shows I'd love to I'd love that place yeah yeah we'll probably do one um not next Wednesday not this Wednesday coming up at next
Wednesday cool most likely if I uh if I got the time um I bring up the new show that I'm doing at the ice house it's really exciting it's this new show called Thunder [ __ ] that I do of course it is it's called Thunder [ __ ] who are you doing it with Jeremiah Watkins very funny comic he's he's been doing this show for a while in Hollywood and I got to do it once and I'm like we we need to make this big uh what we do is we take seven comics and then we all go up on stage and people from the audience yell out like things like like uh microwave and then we kind of have to try to just make up comedy on the spot but it's a live podcast also so it's the one of the first cuz Comics have been asking me for a while or people have been asking me for a while to put a podcast up that shows standup comedy and I was like no one wants to throw their their material away like that so this is a perfect way that Comics can go on stage kind of show their improv skills you know and and they don't care if it's online and I've been getting a lot of new material from it from doing it you know like I I've got two new bits off just people yelling [ __ ] out got it that totally makes sense especially like I used to do that uh after shows I us to q but the problem with that is like you've already done like an hour and 10 minutes of actual comedy then trying to make some funny out of the Q&A like sometimes it' be a drop off they'd be like crushing crushing you know everything was laugh laugh laugh and then question answer was like just dragged out and weird and you didn't know how to end it then you ended and people like oh is that good I don't know it was great for an hour and 10 minutes and then it just became you know you'd be [ __ ] good at that Joe yeah I would do it I'll definitely when when do you guys do it when do it uh usually it's Friday we have ice house Chronicles you know but now we're doing every other Friday we're doing Thunder [ __ ] so but we'll do it whenever you want to do it uh yeah I don't know if Friday will ever work like a lot of times Friday I'm either I'm working or but but we'll do it one one day eventually but um I'm going to do it so high I can't talk yeah that's how I do it I get I get so uh drunk and uh and stoned and then I just
go crazy and it's fun cuz I've gotten so much it's it's a fun show man the place to put yourself when you know you don't have an act to remember that'd be the perfect place to put yourself no stress and knowing you're only going to be up there for like 5 minutes or 10 minutes or whatever the [ __ ] it is if you [ __ ] up it's like well you guys should have picked something better to yell out yeah and if you [ __ ] up that's exactly right well you know this is on y'all yeah yeah well you can you can have some fun times doing that with the right crowds too especially if the crowd like develops like a feel for it and who's the kid who you do it with again jeremi Watkins very funny guy you he's got strong uh background I believe he's from California but uh he's got strong improv background yeah he's on my podcast like last week oh really oh yeah what's your podcast you got a podcast too everyone's got I figured there wasn't enough uh comics in La doing podcast I thought yeah there's no one you're amazing how'd you figure out how to do it just fig was an untapped Market what's it called uh Foster the podcast Foster the podcast that's a kind of double on Tandra yeah it's uh it's basically just people come on and tell like a really quick awful story that most of them aren't comfortable was telling that's what your uh that's all it is y oh that's funny it's like 15 to 20 minutes why do you always do that that's just it just entertains it's it's funny to see and hear [ __ ] because like you think I've heard everything and then someone else will come on you be like oh okay I haven't do you worry that you're going to run out of like people coming up with crazy stories though no no not in this town possible not in this [ __ ] town not in this town well plus if people find out there's a venue for something like that yeah all right Foster the podcast so they're real quick ones yeah I think the longest one was like 30 minutes that's great beautiful so yeah we we'll get you on a nice house Chronicle I remember you were really funny when we saw you in Texas no thanks you don't suck now do you no no actually did you get better I've actually gotten better yeah and that's another thing being out here too it makes you uh it makes you better yeah well you got to be inspired you're out here there's so many
great Comics well we can get comfortable doing the same set all over and over and then kind of move to a new place like all right I got to step it up a little bit so you can get comfortable any time [ __ ] yeah I'm constantly terrified of that that's uh important like ever whenever I do something after it's done I [ __ ] hate it because I'm on to the next thing right I'm more like hypercritical about it like H get it away from me and then move on to the next one and that like motivates me every time to make the next one better whether I get there or not arguable you know sometimes it's just like you got to figure out like what topics have the most juice in them you know like you might have like a lot of material but there's topics that just don't have the same people are just not as interested in as like other ones right you know and you find one that like really like hits a high interest level and then you could Juice It Up with like big laughs too like it's got a bunch of things going on people are excited that you're talking about it and then it's got a lot of funny laughs and then there's other ones you're like trying to convince people of where you feel like it's forced yeah sometimes and sometimes I think they're funny but other people don't see my sense of humor that's not as [ __ ] up as me or whatever it is and then I drag them through this dark alley that they don't want to go to after I like sent them down this beautiful flower filed Road for a half an hour and then I'm like hey take a left with me and they're like yeah let's talk about child mation in TV commercials what look the baby he has a beard he's driving a car with a grown woman what do you think's Happening Here Yeah there's uh but standup comedy is just such a [ __ ] open-ended thing it's one of my favorite Parts about it so you never know where your next idea is going to come from you never know where your you know your next big bit's going to come from what it's going to be about right do you write like as far as like stand up do you write stand up in joke form do you write blogs and pull stand up out ad lib [ __ ] I still do like pen and paper in the morning at the coffee shop write you know writing I try to go backwards of stuff because when you first start I
feel it's like joke joke joke joke and then after a while you're like okay now I can actually go back and revisit some things and put into joke form that was a little you know people weren't really didn't really want to hear in the beginning yeah yeah some sometimes you have like a good premise but you're your skills are so shitty you can't turn that good premise into a bit right like I like I'm doing something now like if I would to like about when I was young I was in a a mental hospital for depression if I would have tried to do that bit a year in it would you know what I mean especially if you tried to do it in Texas right and now right oh you were depressed you couldn't suck enough dick how much dick you suck when you're in that hospital and then now it's like just open with it cuz I don't give a [ __ ] anymore you open with that I did the other night like well here it is here's the thing wow why were you in uh mental hospital I was just severely depressed how old were you uh I was like 13 14 wow yeah damn it's just real yeah and so and but like but trying to talk about in the beginning people never go along with it and now you're like okay it's kind of it's okay now here's this thing did you know then that you wanted to be a stand up uh my mom tells this story and I don't remember this but when I was in second grade I was like an awful [ __ ] student and the teacher was like if he doesn't get it together the only job he's going to be able to do is like a stand up comedian bam yeah perfect and uh yeah so so I guess deep down yeah maybe by default I don't know that's the worst motivation ever if he doesn't get it together he's going to have the greatest job in the history of sleep in whenever he wants [ __ ] and drink every night right you're going to have fun you're going to make people laugh in a way that very few people ever get to experience in their life and you're going to get to do it twice a night on the weekends right and never have a 9 to5 for you like people don't know like I did um I just did Ed this River Creek Casino it's like 18800 people mobbed the laughs that come off at 1,00 people when they're howling you're killing it's electric you're [ __ ] you you get goosebumps on your Goosebumps you're Invincible well it's
just you feel great and they feel great you feel like it's a good exchange like you're happy that they're laughing you know it's like it's an honest happy happy exchange and you get to make it all happen like they're sitting down there and they're watching and you're getting you you get to make it all happen and watch the results instantly yeah as long as you keep working at it as long as you keep writing you know you're going to have some good sets and some bad sets and you're going to have some good bits and some bad Bits And if you put out 10 CDs one of them you're not going to like that much or two of them or someone is going to be a fan they're like yeah I didn't like that one Justin it was just something about it you were all [ __ ] weird and talking about flowers right you know but if but overall if you have the right mind set and you continue to create and you continue to write and perform it just keeps happening it just keeps happening if you give it what it needs you feed what it you know what it needs it keeps it keeps happening yeah and there's a lot of guys that are like are perfect examples of that like Burr like Bill Bird did uh Ice House show last week last Wednesday all new stuff [ __ ] around on stage he's always [ __ ] around always writing and he had a really good point about writing too he's like you should be able to come up with an hour a year because all that is is 10 minutes a month right yeah it's true yeah that's another guy just watching him like even like just working [ __ ] out [ __ ] brilliant 10 minutes a month is 120 Minutes a year so if you wrot yeah yeah so if you wrote one good joke a week 12 months 10 minutes a month 120 Minutes a year I do about that you don't do that sh you haven't seen me in a while stop your [ __ ] lying you no you have good ideas but you know the reality of bits is they're never done you got to keep chopping away at them and editing them and so what you say is like 45 minutes it's really 15 it's 15 monster minutes that's what when I have an hour especially when you're bombing if I have an hour yeah I don't really have an hour when I have an hour if I have an hour I have 25 minutes of murder right and I can I can turn that into an hour or I can chop it into an assassinating 25
minutes and then sometimes extend Joe you haven't seen me in a long time I'm sure you got way better and probably the greatest comedian ever know no no I'm just saying you don't know even know my material two weeks ago [ __ ] no you didn't saw you at the Ice House you saw me but you didn't see me do my set son of [ __ ] you saw audience members yelling out subjects to him like as an as an I got I got the the report back from the um comedy American Comedy Company got the report oh cool I did awesome yeah I heard you did good I did really good I did awesome I really did I did awesome I believe you no I did if you don't believe me ask Justin I said I believed you so anyway I heard Sunday night was a little rough oh my guess sets the guess sets were different I'm in front in front of Brian Call's crowd I just said I heard Sunday night was a little rough yeah okay Joe so you know when there's somebody there to see you and then that there's somebody other comic just comes on stage that's not their crowd you know it's going to be a little weird sometimes when you mix certain crowds with certain well if people don't know you exactly and I think with you like we've already talked about this before you get this Wonka golden ticket where people already know you when you're starting out it's there's pressure in that and then then it's also it's also easier that way too yeah but if you have a Sunday 8:00 show and it's not your audience and it's somebody's else's audience that knows you from Hangover and there's a lot of couples there that probably don't want to hear about [ __ ] dolphins and [ __ ] and and [ __ ] like that well there's a lot of people that don't want to hear about those things that's the beautiful thing about performing for people that don't know you you know one of the good things about doing like pop in show like thing one things that a lot of comics like to do is they like to go up on a show where people are not coming to see them because that way they'll get a more honest reaction sure and sometimes it'll make you cultivate your bits for a new mind or for a new ear you know someone who hasn't seen your your stuff before but I also did five shows in the weekend and all of them were amazing sets so so amazing that that the owner of the club
wrote a three-page letter recommending me to don't brag please it's so gross no but you're just saying pretty much online just said hey shitty no I didn't say you did shitty that's what you were saying what I was going to say is I heard Sunday night was rough for not just you it was it was rough for a lot of other people too yeah right it was those shows are they can be rough those are good for you oh dude they nothing to make you stronger than just eating dick for 25 minutes a good rough set is not bad but I heard you did very well but C said you did very well but it's kind of gross to like brag about the owner saying he did so awesome no I'm just saying that I I did good this I believe you but you know and a lot of my set you saying I only have a 15minute set you haven't seen me do any of my set for probably have 15 minutes set I said if you say you have 50 new minutes you really have 45 minutes means in my eyes 15 minutes it means like you chop out a half an hour always because what how much of it is your best stuff how much of it is stuff that you're really happy with how much of it needs to be edited down that's just how I look at Material period and that's what I said about myself if I have an hour I don't have an hour I have 25 minutes of murder that's what you have you have you chop you chop things up and as you build up more time like that's why the difference between right after you release a special the new hour that you work on in the beginning man if it's an hour it might only be like 15 minutes that you really love you know it might be like a lot of other stuff that you're like ham and egging and song and dancing and then as time goes on you start stacking and adding and then it becomes something that you're really proud of that's a process you haven't gone through yet you haven't gone through the editing process you haven't gone through the process of creating an hour chopping it down eliminating certain bits and then stretching it out to a real legit beginning to end professional hour takes a lot of work I have about hour 20 minutes now so I would say I have like what you're saying face well I mean as an example here's what here's a bit I I know I know I have a bit dolphin bit that I can do a 13-minute thing an8 minute thing or a FIV minute thing when
I do the FIV minute thing it's like me rushing it the whole thing and and you shouldn't rush anything have to rush it the seven or eight minute one is a good edited version but the 13-minute one is more like free it's kind of like one of your old school bits you know where it's like very comfortable to be in this playground and when I go to the the joke to the joke to the tag to the tag it's very comfortable doing the 13-minute one but I've do all three like every week I do at least one of those different versions but it's always the 13 one that's really like all right that's the one that you need to do but so I have censored and edited different bits it just depends on the show how much time I have okay look Brian we all have different standards of editing and we all have different what we think are you know legit bits and what we think are not legit bits and what I think is a legit bit and you think is a legit bit it's probably going to be very different I don't want to judge your material and I don't want to sit and break down your act and tell you what you should or shouldn't do but people have a problem when you start saying how this is awesome and you did so great everybody wants great show club Owners writing letters for you and you haven't seen me I'm doing awesome now I I saw you recently I mean it wasn't that long ago was like you did Van with me that was a couple of months ago that's not that long ago Vancouver yeah did a theater in Vancouver it wasn't that long ago um August yeah four months ago exactly it's a few months ago you ever a bit just not work for no it just stops working like a booket kills all it just stops yeah for sure if you don't feel like it's um you could you could have a bit that doesn't you don't feel like it works anymore like it's not funny to you anymore like it might have worked in the beginning because you you saw the humor in it and then that adds that adds like a certain amount of push to a bit and if you all of a sudden decide that it's not for me anymore but it still works I'll keep doing it they can sense it well yeah I just in Vancouver what are you talking about I didn't say anything about you doing in Vancouver I just stop like making this about you man come on I don't know why you're thinking I'm making about you you just you just
changed the subject we were talking about creating bits and out of nowhere you're like I did good in Vancouver you exactly made it about you well you just made it as a reference like I just saw you four months ago saw mons ago look come on man how much better did you get in four months did you get better in four months what I just said no I don't want to talk about this Brian you just interrupted a goddamn conversation where we're talking about standup comedy to make it about you that's what you just did we had gotten done talking about you we talked about you for a long time and then we started talking about creating bits and then you started well I was there but I did good in Vancouver so [ __ ] what Jesus Christ your point was that I didn't do good in Vancouver you did okay in Vancouver you were downstairs no I saw you Brian and it was four months ago I saw it you're saying you're doing so much better now I mean how much better did you really get in four months I I did good in Vancouver is what I'm saying okay so I saw that okay right we're good don't get too attached man don't you know defining yourself like that and it's it's always ugly what you mean defending myself or defining you're defining yourself as being good it's not defending Brian I've said had a good set I'm not saying I'm amazing like I'm not saying hey I am the best comic in the world I'm not saying that you wanted to talk about I good sets I'm saying I had good sets do you you not see the distasteful aspect of that that that that people would find that uncomfortable what that I had a good set no you keep talking about it what do you mean talking about it I'm not you just [ __ ] interrupted to say you did great in Van interrupted um 20 seconds after you saying something about me I said I saw you I didn't say it was bad I didn't say anything well you just said you you think you you've done better than Vancouver you think you've done that big of an improvement in four months that's saying that I wasn't doing good in Vancouver no it's not it's saying I saw you in Vancouver that's what it's saying never mind sorry it's not saying that you weren't good in Vancouver you're adding that yourself I said I saw you four months ago so if I saw you four months ago roughly I know
like what you're doing yeah and you're what you're getting at is I didn't do good in Vancouver that's not what I said I said I saw you're saying you're doing so great I'm like I saw you four months ago that's what I saw well you might want to relisten to cuz how you said it really wasn't clear no because Brian I don't like when you want to talk about yourself and how great you do I'm not trying to talk uncomfortable I'm not trying to talk about myself man I'm trying did you just did you started this by saying that I heard I had a report back in San Diego so I know how you good you did no it started by you telling me how great everything went I had a good set and that's when I said I heard that Sunday knife was kind of rough I heard it was rough right it wasn't just rough for you it was rough for other people okay butd you looking at me and saying I heard it was rough rough I tell the truth when I have a rough show I tell the truth I don't just tell you everything is great I tell you about one the other night for 30 minutes great having a rough step I was getting booed uh I was doing the the dirty at uh 12:30 show which is [ __ ] it's Southport casino and it's a great room it's a great crowd but I just [ __ ] they weren't feel it was like 1:00 in the morning and I [ __ ] bom it's like it felt like an hour and half those are hard shows man those late night shows late night shows are hard especially if nobody knows you from anything they don't want to see you nothing wrong with bombing it's good for you yeah you know it sucks at the time but goddamn you get something out of that yeah you learn but my biggest jumps I've ever made in my entire career was for bombing yeah for sure just makes you reevaluate everything it makes you want to [ __ ] jump off bridge [ __ ] you ever quit on stage like all right this is it this my yeah I quit no never quit like this is my last show but I walked off before my oh really yeah I'm always like mentally in my head I'm like [ __ ] this I'm done yeah it can it can [ __ ] get rough dude it can get rough I mean that's one of the reasons why it's such an emotionally taxing job yeah it's one of the reasons why people have so much of a hard time doing it it's one of the reasons why people quit too they'll start off they'll have a lot of
good momentum and then they just bail on it they just can't take it anymore you think once it becomes like a business that's when it it it gets cuz when you're in the beginning you're doing it for fun and you're kind of going up between your restaurant jobs so there's really not a once you like it becomes a job I think is when it's like [ __ ] you should it should never be a job if it's a job you're [ __ ] up well if you have to make money off of it yeah if it's a job you're [ __ ] up if it's a job you're I mean even if you have to make money off of it you can't just think of it as it's got to be an art form or it's never going to work right if it's not something that you're in excited and connected to creating you know and something that you're you're you're passionate about molding and putting together on stage I don't think it's ever gonna work if you're just like yeah I'm just gonna punch in tell those old jokes there's nothing better than like having a new joke and like just being so excited like I have to go on stage tonight and tell it like that's to me anyways yeah yeah it can get it can get really thrilling you know it's it's a wild thing to do with your time man come up with some [ __ ] that you think is going to make people laugh there's a distasteful feeling in this room feel it got a little carried away over there Brian sorry it's all right buddy happens just got to recognize how other people would interact like how other people would respond to people like whenever you say you're really good at anything or doing great at anything man there's a way to do that I'm said I good set and didn't say I was great at there's a way to do that and there's a way to not do that it's not just that you said you had a good set you were talking about the manager writing you a letter and saying you did so awesome said had a good set I know but you see that where that is it's like well you're sticking that in people's faces you got to be careful okay I mean am I Am I Wrong after you just said i' had a bad set heard it was Sunday I got a report card I heard it wasn't just you I heard several people on that show didn't do
very well I heard it was tough I'm saying you got to be honest about that too I am honest I'm saying that you know what though when I got off stage people clapped it wasn't like I had a bad set where no one was like they're happy you're done okay now you're just now you're just flipping the fish look I had to say that Brian I can't just let you brag I have to I have to stop you for your own good I wasn't bragging Justin fost two do you know what bragging sounds like I don't know you're the neck of the woods do they have different different handles on what bragging is did get weird for a second got real weird for a second feel like like when mom and dad fight they just get real quiet well you know what it is man it's like there's a lot riding on success and failure on stage and you know when you're doing well which Brian's doing well you you want to let people know you're doing well it's what it is it's normal you just got to be careful about about it I said that stuff after you said what you said I didn't say that I don't know if that's true I don't know if that's true and I don't think you do either I don't really remember 100% what it is I think you were saying how great it went and I said I heard Sunday night was rough and then I said no it wasn't rough I had a good weekend I had good sets Justin even said I wrote blah blah blah blah right but but I said that I heard that Sunday night was rough and it was rough and I would if you said that to me i' would be like oh yeah I kind of ate dick on Sunday Sunday I just couldn't feel it they weren't feeling me but that's not what you did you you went on to discuss but I didn't eat a dick Sunday I had a I had a C+ set I had a middle of thee line normal set nothing to write home about nothing that went oh that was horrible people didn't boo you no no one booed me once no or they groaned is that what they did yes a woman groan when I was talking about [ __ ] a dolphin I think that's something that a woman would do that warrant oh those women I I have the whole thing on tape if you want to I don't want to listen to the
[ __ ] tape crimey no I don't need any proof man I mean my point wasn't whether or not you were doing good or not doing good my point was whether we discuss it on a podcast like that I know let's move on I'm trying can't think about anything else you could see the hilarity of my horrible set tomorrow at the Irvine Improv oh I like how you work that in you could moan at me and little Esther and Tony hinchliff and Sarah Tiana how dare you that's a good show it's a great show Tony hinchcliff was with me at Irvine all last weekend [ __ ] kids getting funny really funny bit man it's a great room too I don't want to say anything with that thrift store bit I won't say anything about what the bit is but that's [ __ ] great man it's true too yeah yeah that Irvine Improv is fantastic that's great do you like it is that your favorite of one of the improvs around this town it's a great club man like the Ontario and the like all the other ones because we have like three really good improvs within like an hour and an hour and a half away it's yeah there's a there's a ton of them there's the Hollywood one which is always awesome there's the Irvine there's the Ontario the Brea they're all fantastic they're all great yeah improvs are [ __ ] amazing clubs man they there there's so many of them they're all over the country you know a lot of people think that it's like kind of a a chain thing they're [ __ ] up and ruining comedy but they're also providing you a lot of goddamn work right there's work everywhere I just work all over the country the only thing that I don't like is if like they tell you that you're not supposed to work the other club in town or one of those deals that can be a problem do they does it happen to you a lot no right not to me it happens to some people some some clubs you know they won't let you work the other club in town and you know and that's another oh yeah no I know you have had that happened before yeah for sure Texas uh no not in Texas but but I was saying like somebody like you they they probably it doesn't really they're like yeah just you know yeah if you can sell tickets they'll let you slide with stuff but if they felt like they can control you in some sort of a way they would
definitely try to do it I think it's um it's you know it's a natural business practice they're trying to you know they're trying to [ __ ] lock it down you know especially like if you're there in a week where no one's there that's when it becomes readily apparent like if you like the other side of town has a great comic and then this side of town you know the the club's suffering they have to decide what they're going to do cuz if you're going to work one or the other if you work in one and they're doing well or you work in the other club and then the other club's doing well like they have to go well hey well we're sucking it right now and we're sucking it because the guy that we hire is now over there working for our enemy so what the [ __ ] right yeah that's the problem when you got business you know business mixed with the idea of art it gets just [ __ ] just just problematic but you can't be a social comedian either just give away your comedy for free right bring me food I'll tell you jokes right show was basically over about 15 minutes ago we're just droning on hopefully we can recover from this Brian what I'm fine I'm not I'm not this is uh I know you're still mad about I'm not mad at all but this thing went off the rails I'm the one who has to sort of like turn into a podcast you know people love this [ __ ] anyway some people love this [ __ ] those people are annoying and those those people are responding me on Twitter and guess what cies I'm just going to block you don't jump in oh look I'm gonna block this guy he's got a [ __ ] swasti on his logo yeah Jesus Christ Jesus Christ sorry [ __ ] face got to block you his logo yeah he's got a [ __ ] swas putting it out there I don't know how like YouTube there was a somebody sent me a video and I don't even to say the it was nword music video time times two or something like that I think it was called and it was just a guy dressed up like typical like like almost racist black guy slave style and the song was just inward inward Inward and it was just it was a black guy doing it so I think maybe that's the only reason why it could stay on YouTube but I was very shocked when people have like Twitter
avatars and stuff like that like really racist symbols and how is that how do they get away with that [ __ ] you could get away with a lot if you're a black guy and you want to talk about black people right you know you can get a lot if you're a white guy and you want to talk about white people but man you uh I just don't can't wear black face and go to school you can't be Mr T I wonder if the guy tried was it wonder if he was at a party or wonder if he went to school as Mr T God I hope he didn't go to school because I think it was a a day right it was a it was a a school day the Halloween fell on right could he get in trouble say he was at a a house party with adults and somebody snapped a picture of him could he get he could still get in trouble for that right that's why I think proba happen you think yeah I don't think he would walk stroll into class with black I pity the fool maybe he did maybe he's like look I'm Mr T right and that's ballsy he's at the the the lounge they're all drinking coffee together no one's talking to him what the [ __ ] man all the other teachers like we're not going to we're not going to get into this today yeah they're like you can't do that oh come on i p a fool p a fool isn't that funny that that guy like he's like one of the only guys that you associate with like a giant chunk chunk of gold chains around your neck like immediately you think of Mr T like he made that as hook right like if a guy had more than one chain you would go you got a Mr T starter kit right right yeah some some guy if you were hackling him and you know the the chains were fate cuz a teacher couldn't afford that on salary absolutely it seems like if this happened when the aam was really popular though when it first came out in that time area that wouldn't be a big deal right now you can't do anything though especially if you're a teacher like my brother just got he had to delete his whole Facebook page he's like I'm not even going to take any [ __ ] chances right so that guy should he should have known better you can get in big trouble for almost anything yeah almost anything if you if you do anything that's non-pc outside of work some girl got fired because uh they took a picture on her Facebook of her boyfriend holding her tit and they let
her go yeah they fired her she was a teacher [ __ ] guy was holding her tit I mean he wasn't even like holding the nipple wasn't like pinching just squeezing like some bottom meat the [ __ ] man there's a weirdness going on in the world where people just super [ __ ] sensitive super duper sens and they want and people want to get other people in trouble too that's the thing everybody wants to be the first to like catch somebody doing something and act to be the first to you know get somebody fired right yeah that's a thing too they want to catch people and things there's a lot of miserable [ __ ] out there working stuck in jobs they don't like and they just they got this built up and if they can point it at you and get you in trouble for something because there's a whole bunch of rules that everybody's got to follow and a lot of them are ridiculous rules they feel better yeah the PC police is just so out of control but you know in some ways it's got to be there because if you're working like say if you're a woman and you're working in some [ __ ] office with some guy who tells dick jokes all the time and talks about [ __ ] like you shouldn't have to deal with that you shouldn't have to go in there but but because there's douchebags that ruin that [ __ ] then there's always going to be like you can't have a funny joke either like sometimes someone's not a dou bag but they have the funny thing to say and it's just the right time and it's inappropriate but you know they don't mean it but they can get away with it that's like the problem with humor like in in a workplace you can't take that chance I think it has to do a lot about who the person is too the Charming you are the more you can get away with the creepy guy at the office can say the same thing and and people are like h no it's gets stifled yeah you know it it's gets stifled because it has to get stifled cuz if you just go free range wild wild Westy with your jokes like doing a podcast or something right you know some people are going to get really [ __ ] offended at you but who but my question is like what and here's what it was it was probably a parent of a teacher that she had probably reprimanded who was like oh this telling me how to raise my kid scrolling through a Facebook page and going how dare a
lady with a boyfriend with having fun tell me how to raise my kid you know what I mean yeah that could definitely be it some woman doesn't want some [ __ ] [ __ ] raising her children that could be it or some chick is just upset that she's hot enough for someone to grab her tip and she hasn't gotten laid since her [ __ ] husband cheated on dirty [ __ ] grabbing tit on Facebook I'll show her they could be that too all right Justin Foster People can find you on Twitter it's Justin comic on Twitter yep and do you have a website too yeah Justin comic Justin comcom yeah you you were the only Justin comic to scoop that [ __ ] up I was the first yeah there had to be somebody else who thought that up some gu tried to buite it from me do you find that that may be an issue with people remembering the the name Foster uh N I don't think so I hope not all right thanks for having me thanks for being here man thanks for being here for a nice little hissy fit we made up buddy yeah it's good I just trying to help everybody here folks I just have a a very strong opinion on certain things I don't mean to hurt anybody's feelings we don't mean to just we smoke a little weed and sometimes we just talk sometimes [ __ ] goes Ary just like a comedy set right Justin Foster right all right [ __ ] we'll be back we'll be back soon lots of podcasts this week an aarian did I say your name right and um also uh Graham Hancock and this episode is brought to you by Ting if you go to rogan.com you will save 25 bucks off of any of their new sweet Sleek delicious Android devices you're also brought to you by Hulu Plus if you go to hulu.com Rogan you can get a free trial and try it for 2 weeks try Hulu Plus for two weeks Hulu plus.com Rogan and thanks also to on it.com go to o n niit t use the code name Rogan save 10% off any and all supplements all right folks we'll see you soon [Music] no