Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IiUUuXeTtqA
oh wait a minute we didn't even like this Jesus Christ are we live M you hear this sound ladies and gentlemen this is a sound of Freedom that's Freedom as it exhales your body as Mother Nature as mother Gaia enters into your system through a series of canab anoid receptors I'm good dude starting a new non-political party Sammy I don't think anybody should be in a political party anymore I agree but uh in uh out of respect for the great Hunter S Thompson I'm going to call it the freak party feel like I feel like a freak I don't feel like I I'm represented I I uh will never vote for any of the two major parties ever again even Libertarians they [ __ ] freaked me out bunch of weirdos bunch of Preppers not all of you not all of you don't get crazy don't get picky save the hate mail save the hate mail I will only vote for SE if I don't know who they are that doesn't help yeah because well yeah know who they are and there's some [ __ ] freak NSA underground secret infiltrator agent type character Sam okay that could go if my vote ruins Society I understand that but I just vote for anybody who can't afford to campaign that's pretty much well that might be better than what we're doing already but it might not be too that's possible as well you know what we need to do Sam we need to educate the people is that possible there's a way to do it one of the ways is audible.com oh really oh yeah I love to hear about it well audible.com is the number one source of audio entertainment and education on the internet more than 100,000 different titles you can't possibly read 100,000 [ __ ] things but you might be able to put a good dent into it if you got in your car or if you were on a train or on a plane and listened to audio books or at the gym or jogging if you're one of those nature at the park type characters that's not worried about muggers and you run around with a [ __ ] thing on not worried about getting clipped over the head by someone who's sneaking up behind you you don't see him coming or maybe just [ __ ] that confident in your your foot speed you just like this [ __ ] mugger try to catch me [ __ ] yeah try to catch me my cardio's off the charts go
to audible.com Joo you will get one free audio book and 30 free days of audible service and Audible has a gigantic selection of fiction nonfiction they have the OPI and Anthony radio shows they have standup comedy you can get my [ __ ] on Audible you can get so many different books there's an amazing uh pile of awesome titles uh in every single category um I recommend Steven pressfield's the war of art this is a book that I've been recommended to everybody I it's such a good book as far as like motivation to get your [ __ ] together that I I bought stacks of them and I used to hand them out to people all the time um then I got tired of it then I was like B get your [ __ ] together [ __ ] what am I doing I'm trying to [ __ ] motivate other people I listen audible I actually use it do you it's amazing it's very good I love it I uh the a book that I love to listen to I was uh Behold a pale horse that was a good thing I'd read it but it was fun to hear back that is some ridiculous [ __ ] it's fun to listen to man especially when you look back at like what he's saying then and what's going on now you're like whoa well his book is like I can't recommend it some of it you can't recommend it enough I love it dude you got to smoke a fat joint before you read that and then just shut it off walk away um there's some really interesting stuff in there and some complete nonsense it's really like if you wanted to pick a book where you were worried or curious whether or not like there was some dis information of foot whether they were try to connect really you know actual factual ideas with [ __ ] UFO bases at Walmart you know this is the book so you're saying there's a little truth but there's also a lot of misinformation I'm sure there's some truth in that well even crazy people can count you know there even if you're completely out of your mind you make a bunch of [ __ ] up you might know how to turn on a laptop a broken clock is right twice a day that's so true Sam Triple E I'm so glad when people people say that [ __ ] anyway go to audible.com slj Steve Martin's book's good too yes it is right yeah what is it born standing is that what it is Steve Martin's awesome and he actually reads his book uh and uh or you could that guy from uh [ __ ] what's it called the
beard guy sigh the one that Joey Diaz likes from that duck thy Jo Joey loves that guy he really loves that guy he's not no no [ __ ] he loves that guy that show's crushing it [ __ ] yeah it is that show kicked my Show's ass really yeah stomped it yeah you're up against a family though yeah and in Dennis Miller vernacular like a narc at a biker rally um anyway audible.com Joo and uh get a free audio book it's worth it you love it and it's it's a great way to entertain yourself um basically just like podcasting I'm essentially cutting out my own hamstrings telling you about this it is it is we're also brought to you by Lumas Lumas is one of our newest sponsors and Lumas is a new service it's a website that's designed to improve your mental health it's really interesting it's like workouts for your mind and they're like fun games and I've been doing it I don't know if I'm any smarter yet but it's easy it's enjoyable um and you can personalize it for your different performance goals as far as your brain does it have a little sound effect on it well that's uh chalk one against Lumosity okay let me tell you something nobody wants [ __ ] sound effects on their websites we're tired of that is the worst thing when you go to someone's website song plays it's gross that's why I hate about myspace like back in the day you couldn't look at other girls like website Pages cuz some song would jump up your girlfriend's like what are you listening to you're like close close close and it would make you it would crush your website your browser every time someone always had some wacky thing running in the background too much and you get it's like what is this especially the Asian chicks could really go off on their Pages Sparkle tanks that's what we learned about the world learn about Sparkle tags y uh you can play online at work I wouldn't recommend playing at work cuz then you're not working and uh I think if you're going to do something you should [ __ ] do it unless your job really sucks a fat dick and you're looking to get out and you're listen to this podcast during work right now and I would say keep doing what you're doing follow your instincts go towards the light do you have a black belt in this yet yes I got a black belt
in the mon my God my friend play online at work at home even from an iPhone or an iPad with the Luminosity app it takes it doesn't say anything about Android I guess they're hater uh with Lumosity you can track your progress online while seeing the actual improvements in your everyday life um and when you go to Lumosity just tell them that I sent you just I think it's a reference box oh how' you find out about Lumas Joe Rogan [ __ ] and you can say that too you say [ __ ] I probably won't even get credit for it but it' be funnier so go ahead say Joe Rogan [ __ ] like well Joe Rogan it seems that no one from your show went to Lumosity but everybody from Joe Rogan [ __ ] went there um J Rogan Kama [ __ ] would that get past its filter dot dot dot [ __ ] mhm um what I like about it what I think is interesting is you can you can personalize your goals uh which is it's kind of kind of odd when you first start doing it because you're like wait a minute you can you can why why wouldn't it be better to click everything I guess maybe it be too difficult but as you're doing it like it gives you like memory gives you a bunch of options recalling the location of objects remembering the names after first introduction which I suck a fat one at do you you are you good at remembering people's names right after you meet them no I'm horrible at it people always think my memory is really good because I remember fights like if you ask me about MMA I can pull MMA I can pull a heath Keith Hackney fight Keith Hackney versus joean you know from 93 94 I can I'll tell you what happened in that fight I'll talk to you about ball punches you're great at detail I remember some things I remember some things but my memory is not the best if I care you rock those uh Russian and European names at the weighin I'm always impressed by that they have to go over those with me several times before I go out there I [ __ ] up Omi lanek though Omi lanek was a guy that fought this last weekend in Toronto it was so hard Omi lanek it's it's weird the way it's written tough guy though um you can keep track of several ideas at the same time allegedly I'm a little skeptical Sam tripy right you know how you going to fix my broken brain son you if yours is broken mine must be where all brains are broken in the Heap they're flawed
you know what helps it Alpha Brain take some right now while I'm on the podcast oh Alpha brains yay Alpha brains I wonder if it improves the score was the word on that uh the words on what on Alpha Brain it's delicious it's nutritious good for the whole family for your Dome uh attention maintain focus on important tasks um for the those have been asking about Alpha Brain we'll talk about that next but the um studies on Alpha Brain will finally be published allegedly in February TT a long time to get into scientific journal about stuff so people have been asking about the results of the double blind Placebo test um we did what's called a pilot test and then we're going to do a big fat test after this um but it's because the pilot test is very encouraging um I guess that would help you if you took a little Lumosity you I think the idea behind something like Lumosity is that your brain much like everything else grows in strength with repetition and focus uh it seems to work as far as like my brain when it comes to standup comedy the more I'm doing standup the more I'm like the more I'm in that stand-up comedy Vibe it seems like a mental shape like you get in comedy shape don't you feel like that yeah you ever take like two weeks off from stand up dude I took a few months off and you go back to it you're like whoa It's like you think you're just going to step right into and start running and you're like your timing's a little off you're like what was that line there you know what I figured out though how to stop that from happening record yourself really yeah it's big it's huge what do you do with the you just play back or do you upload it to something well play it back and take notes listen and take notes do it's hard to do cuz it's work it's work you don't want to listen to yourself you're gross like I do hate listening to myself I got to edit this CD and I just can't listen to myself Jim Norton told me that when he was re when he was uh editing his his special which was very funny by the way he wanted to hang himself he put a [ __ ] belt up uh on the coat hanger in the closet he goes I wasn't going to do it but I I just put it up there I just wanted to let myself know I [ __ ] suck
yeah what you were thinking about hanging yourself what he goes I wasn't was wasn't wasn't actually going to go through with it but it was like whoa I like to keep it on the table that's how bad comedians hate listening themselves and if you talk to a comedian who loves listening to himself he's a douchebag there are people who like to playback their stuff over and over again you're like oh what's wrong with how about play it for you Hey listen to this listen to this bit I did listen to this bit I did just listen this one bit no no no no no no no um another thing that Lumosity helps is flexibility the idea of mental flexibility communicating clearly you know sometimes when you're communicating it's difficult to find the right way to describe something the idea is that the more often you do that the easier it will be and I think that it's absolutely true because when I think about the things that I do like a lot of the things that I do like like MMA commentary would be very difficult to do if you hadn't done it before and the more you do it the more you get sort of sharp at it um well Lumosity treats it like like that there's exercises you can do um that will allow you to be flexible in your ideas in that sort of a way thinking outside the box avoiding errors multitasking how's your multitasking skill Sam tripol incredibly hard incredibly bad about as bad as can be right comedians are the worst [ __ ] multitaskers in the history of the world impulsive [ __ ] it's multitasking but it's a bad it's add version of multitasking where like I try to do 90 things but yet nothing gets done are you talking about you know you're like oh I gotta do a but man I want to do this over here and then at the end of the day I'm like I've got nothing accomplished every time I talk to Brian K he wants to [ __ ] start yachting he wants to I want to go sailboating I think I'm thinking about doing a [ __ ] maybe Samba and [ __ ] don't to dance and choke people like dude stop stop stop stop stop yeah yeah yeah he wants to do everything Brian Ken got done telling me like I was talking about being gluten-free that I've been gluten-free for like 3 months he goes yeah I don't I don't eat any of that stuff you know
Breads and bra I go you just had a sandwich yeah right in front of me and you had bread with dinner last night I saw you buttered bread he goes this very little of it I barely eat any of it I go you had bread every time you've H been here you've been here for three days you've had bread every single day like what are you talking about you guys are both pretty shredded for your ages man I'm pretty impressed he decide oh thank you am I sexy yeah thank you very much he just decides uncomfortable that he's gluten-free I'm like you're not not gluten-free you're [ __ ] lying you eat bread every goddamn day he it's a story fits his uh what reality wants he's hilarious but it's that thing most entertaining one of the most entertaining dudes I've ever met we did a Uso together and we'd flew cross country and everybody was jet lagged and we had when you do a Uso you got to meet everybody at the base it's a big day for them the comedians are going to come around and you meet everybody you go on this like mini tour of the base you meet everybody and they tell you what they do and man everybody was jet lagged but man Brian put on a show dude he was just on I mean just what you see on stage he was doing in their offices so when he came up onto the stage and I introduced him first guy up walked up to a standing o he had already made loved everybody mentally that they loved him right out the gate you already told this story on this podcast before but it's a great story oh thank you it's a great story it's it's been a while that is Brian K that is I just I remember it because I remember you saying about everybody not that I haven't told a million [ __ ] stories sometimes I forget what story I've told dude we're almost 400 podcasts each one of them is like at least two hours most of them three hours long so how the [ __ ] could you possibly when you when it comes to standup do you ever find yourself somewhat repeating a premise even though it's kind of a different take but it's the same kind of premise I mean like cuz like I'm learning that your perspective on stuff is almost the same and there's only so much maybe to talk about I don't know I feel like even with myself I've seen like where you're like okay that's a lot like an old joke I used to tell yeah it's very possible
anyway lumosity.com yeah check it out tell them tell them Joe Rogan sent you um we're also brought to you by on it.com that's o n niit t if you haven't seen the new Primal bells in there's three of them now there's a gorilla a chimpanzee and a new orangutang and uh every time someone buys an orangutang five bucks goes to help save orangutang all these animals chimps gorillas they're all endangered it's uh you know we're [ __ ] and we like to kill monkeys I mean that's just that's a fact horrible it's uh I say we as in human race not Sam and I and not Jamie either he's not a monkey killer but he stretch the imagination spank the monkey that's about it monkeys are conole there's bunch of monkeys kill a guy in India I don't know maybe the Indian guy started it he might have been a dick uh but these aren't monkeys anyway they're Apes people get real specific about that you say monkey but you really mean ape yes I mean ape God damn it some people who just arangan and chimp I I work out with them myself they're cool I I I like to fantasize when I work out and uh my fantasy is that one of these things is trying to [ __ ] me up I get scared you're holding on to a look at that chimpanzee face that's an evil or the gorilla too look at that [ __ ] can you imagine if that [ __ ] was hovering over you about to put a beat down on you what do you do man you curl up in a ball and hope he gets tired of beating the [ __ ] out of you and that's probably not going to help he's probably going to take you apart like a [ __ ] pistachio nut like the shell of a nut snap they just separate you h oh my God they're so strong we can't even wrap our heads around how strong those [ __ ] things are but uh you can be stronger with Primal Bells we s regular kettle bells too if you're one of those conservative noons type who doesn't want traditional C Bell fancy but the kettle bells that we Ser we sell as far as the Primal Bells they only go up to 72 pounds but as far as the regular plain ones we have them um up to 90 lbs and if you can lift one of those 90 lb things you are a [ __ ] uh that's impressive [ __ ] I I I don't do is that official status you have reached [ __ ] status that's [ __ ] status a 90 lb cattle Bell will also be sure to piss your mailman off to no end
make no mistake about it when I picked up the 70 LB One the look they had on their face they wanted to [ __ ] drop it on my dick that' be uncomfortable a bunch of women working there as well and it's really not fair I wish they would let me know when they're coming in and I would be there to load it off the truck that involves teamwork oh you know there was a lot of that too let me know when it reaches the post office I'll go get it don't don't bring it to my house make me lift some 70 lb back mhm anyway for savagery go to a.com we saw all kinds of [ __ ] protein supplements uh the Alpha Brain of course shroom Tech sport new mood if you ever tried any new mood samai no I have not it's very good for you it's 5htp and L triptan enhancement supplements for your serotonin um El tryptophan actually converts to 5htp and 5htp actually does enhance your mood you should uh be very careful about it though if you're on medication especially if you're on ssris those are a lot of the anti-depressants they tell people do not take 5 HTP while you're taking an SSRI because uh too much serotonin is not a good thing that's a lot of paperwork you got to be careful son oh all right so go uh go to an.com check out everything and if you use a code named Rogan you will save 10% off any and all supplements beautiful talented and delicious young Sammy trip here ladies you should get like one thing that they say in everything what's that like Rog and [ __ ] they should have on all your all your compan don't worry about me man don't worry about me I won't worry about you do the music Sam's here Jo podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience train my day Joe Rogan podc G by night all day Sammy boy I've got a official Sam tripley the naughty show t-shirt on right now ladies and gentlemen you can buy these uh at Walmart uh Burger King food chains all over the place all over the country um they're going to sell them in NASA they're going to sell them on the space shuttle those [ __ ] get bored up there NAU show.net check it out buy a shirt help brother if you never seen Sam's show it's um he puts together standup comedy with a bunch of crazy vide and I was there once and I saw a
girl beat a man with a belt yeah it was that was classic na show there there's a lot of porn stars answering trivia questions it's it's a it's a it's basically chaos it is chaos it's a big crazy chaotic silly Fest it's a comedy circus man much much like Sam's mind yes it is it's all over the place that's your mind and that's the kind of show you cre it's all the Outlaws you know people focus on the adult film stars and they're really just a small part of a huge thing and uh it's just bringing out all the you know you call them Savages all the late night Rumblers people who like can't get on The Tonight Show like all these crazy burles people and Comics come and doing real com like comedy they want to do and just crazy pole dancers who like I mean like it's Madness insane it is madness I've done it several times and uh it's always a great crowd I mean even though it's Madness they're really fun people they they're there to have a good time when's your next one uh we're thinking about doing October 25th at this place called lyrics on uh LaBrea oh nice yeah it's really nice what's yeah I like to move in different places man you know The Comedy Store is great but it's time to move it somewhere else and try a little different you know I was trying to do Beer's mad house but that guy it's a little crazy over there great guy it just it didn't work out so I got this new room and it's lyrics and it's a nice room it'ss about 150 and we're going to crush it ni very nice and so this is uh October 2 what 25th what day is that that's a uh Friday night sweet baby Jesus but the 24th October 24th I also do a new awesome show that you got to check out it's called The Comedy rap battles it's like eight mile meets standup comedy and it's awesome it is awesome it's comedy rap battles yeah dude comedians do like a five minute set and then they go like they rap they have a rap battle and dude people light each other up is the most entertaining show you'll ever see man I it's the best I'm so proud of it and I work with a bunch of uh Chris burn and a whole bunch of other guys and we put together and man it just crushed now have any comedians lashed out physically at any other comedians during a rap battle no no no I think everybody gets it it's like they feel bad if they don't light somebody up but people get lit up lit up it does
happen in the rap ones though it's occasionally dudes punch each other oh yeah I mean some of those guys get pretty nasty and personal they go after the moms I think these comedians more like but they're vicious it's a fun show man I I'm really impressed by we're getting some bigname DJs coming down to this one at the Improv on the fourth and it's going to be a great show man it's going to be a great show that sounds awesome that sounds fun do you know who's on the on the card like the full card uh I put it together still for the uh rap battle yeah some of these people like they're really great Comics are like you can't advertise me I'm like well what are we doing but a minute they tell you you can't adver yeah there's a couple people who like yeah I want to do it but I can't advertise you why is that I don't know man that's silly that is silly I don't get that I don't get it either that was a big thing at the store people didn't want their names up on the Marquee like why some Comics would just like that man but we're making it a whole big uh block party we're taking the whole like uh parking lot of the Improv we're going to have outside DJs dancers everywhere it's going to be a whole crazy ass thing the only thing that I could that makes sense to me about not wanting your name is if you're trying out totally new [ __ ] and you want a completely neutral audience like you don't want people that are there for you they might give you a little bit of extra juice that you don't deserve with a bit you don't want to do you don't want to work out your new material in front of your crowd because you know that they're going to laugh at it you want to try different that is a possibility there is that and there's also that you might not want to do it for your crowd because it's not ready yet so you feel like I'm okay to do it in front of these random folks but if people are paying to see me right the bets aren't ready yet is that a Hardo could be that yeah some bits some bits are just weird man some bits they come together like I like I've got a few bits that literally like the day I wrote them they were done at least in a basic structural form but there's other ones that like they're always I'm moving them around I put the end in the beginning the beginning in the end you just know
something's funny you're like there's something there I just got to mine it to get it I mean I got this one right now man I got this one right now it either kills or it sucks a fat dick yeah man and I know I know like when it's in the middle whether or not it's going to be one or the other and I know that I have to stick with it even if it's sucking a fat dick and try to find the way out now do you record now you say you record it is it ever like a a certain word makes it Go different I find like sometimes when I say it one way it blows up and then if I forget to do that way it just [ __ ] flatlines the room sometimes it's hard to see when you're the guy doing it too like you need to like step back and listen to it and when you listen to it and you're all quiet you're not saying a word you're listening to yourself sometimes you go oh that comes out wrong you know I me it sounds more like this or maybe people would could possibly think that instead of this or you know it's just good to listen to it it's not fun it's not enjoyable you know but like if I'm especially if I'm on a plane or something like that I got to go somewhere I just listen to my sets like we were talking earlier about like uh getting really rusty the thing that saves you from getting really rusty is listening to sets listening going over the bits making notes then once you start doing it it'll kind of come out naturally I think you're totally right I should do it more I don't know why I don't I just I just like to do it organically and I think it's a horrible way lazy [ __ ] dude you say I'm a lazy [ __ ] is that the first time you've said that I just I work I got a million irons going I'm just got a million irons going from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to bed I'm just working these irons man right but you're you're also working some irons that are unnecessary in comparison to that iron maybe the iron are sitting and listening to material but that requires that's actually like work it's like writing like sitting in front of the computer and writing there's a lot of friends that I know that are really good comedians that don't ever do that and they just can't ad D out themselves enough to sit in front of a laptop and just write or sit in front of a notebook and just write they can't do it so they come up with
all these excuses I I I I write in my head like I found it if I put it down it takes away it just something in the delivery isn't the same when I structure it out but what I do is you know because I'll just be driving around taking care I just work the bit in my head over and over again and over and I'll try to go up on stage with about three or four new jokes with it kind of beat it out and then I let kind of the crowd kind of feel and I just kind of go with it but I I don't necessarily sit down and type I wish I could I just I'll write down in my joke premise this premise Prem pre premise and I'll work them out my head and then I'll go on stage and be like okay that works that doesn't work and I make mental notes in my head well I definitely have done that before and I think that if that works for you it's all really about how much Focus you're putting into it if your focus is you just sitting there going over it and and redoing it over and over again in your head and then just writing down the premise I think that's basically just like writing it's just you're not actually putting it down on a piece of paper the one thing about writing though is they say that especially physically writing like pen and paper not not just typing when you physically write something it helps memory retention it aids like quite a bit like the I always um if you look at my notebook like from um my comedy notebook it looks like I'm a crazy person sure because it's the same thing written over and over and over and over and over again it's like all work no play makes Jack a doll boy all because that's what I do when I'm when I'm writing my my bits out before a show I'm just trying to get the key components like seared into my brain and then from there but I write right I like to sit in front of a lapt I know that about you I wish I could do that it's just I've tried to be like the guy who sits down like I'm going to write this out and then go on stage it just does it just something gets Lost in Translation but I just I mean I'm talking to myself in my head constantly my I used to do it when I worked at The Standard Hotel they used to think I was crazy guy and the Hispanic uh maid service wouldn't sit next to me during lunch because they would see me talking to myself all day just working on the
bit acting it out just to get through the day of this like job that I was very thankful for but was killing my soul but that's how I would get through the day just working on these bits playing them out my head and then by the time I got on stage I would have this somewhat crafted bit already on stage yeah I used to do that when I drove limos I used to drive around and pretend like I was doing the bit as I was driving I find that like when you're doing certain tasks like especially driving with no radio on driving with no radio on is a good thing to do not enough people do it but just driving around and just thinking like sometimes you can figure some [ __ ] out and you have ideas that come to you because you're not being inundated by constant ideas of other people whether it's advertisements or songs you don't really want to hear and changing channels deciding what to listen to silence just drive sometimes yeah and the ideas can come to you I completely agree with that I've been now trying to talk more stories on stage and it's a little it's a transition it's not as easy as I thought it was going to be but you got to just work through it and now that you know I've been on stage I'm trying to be a little more honest with what's gone in my life CU I've had a crazy life with you know with my drug problem and all that stuff and I just all the crazy places I put myself into and all that stuff and you know the crowds have really been reacting to it really well man I'm really impressed like you know the comments I'm getting off stage this is something this you've done this is the first time you've done this I've been like yeah and how many years you been doing standup now 15 so um within like 14 years in is when you started getting this change yeah man I you know it was a combination of like I'd start talking about something and then like you know three months later I'd see everybody talking about it not that they're taking from me just you know it's in the you know the the air so I'm like I I want to do something different so I'm like I got all these crazy stories of my life you know that I just never talked about on stage and just getting to the place where I'm comfortable with being honest about you know all the crazy [ __ ] that happened to me and you know and just going on stage
and seeing how it reacts and even if it doesn't get a laugh necessarily and it it does it gets some of the stuff's real real you know it just builds this kind of credibility with the crowd that they they'll go with me on other stuff like it's a vulnerability well it's also you being being a real person as opposed to a guy putting on a show you know and putting on the show is like the armor that you throw up when you first start doing standup you know I had a Breaking Point the other day where you know I was at the store and I was just watching a bunch of funny comics go up but nobody was being real on stage and I I'm not taking anything away from them because there are some really funny young Comics coming up that I really enjoy but I just found with comedy everybody wants to hear what they already know they want to really laugh like it's gotten so much about relatability to the point you know that it's I just feel like it's like people want to people want to hear premises about stuff we all already agree upon and I just don't want to do that stuff so I've been really breaking through and it can get it could be a hard place when you're doing this really okay but is that is it that people want that or is that's what they're being fed well I think they're being fed because that's what they seem most comfortable about or that's what gets the the biggest reaction which is that's all it is it's what what gets the biggest reaction so people do it because they want to get that reaction so you you start getting that you know hey man you remember when you were in school and you you know you're right to know do you like me check yes or no yeah people remember that I relate to that I know that exactly so it's not even really that funny but it's very relatable very relatable but that's not I mean it's also so sometimes it's funny I mean sometimes it's a real moment that someone's trying to recall from I know what you're saying though I know that that the thing where you're you're seeing a lot of like jokey joke type [ __ ] and you're like you're longing for a Richard PRI type act you're longing for someone to go up there and just take it to another level which is why like I you know after a long time of resisting the late night spots at The Comedy Store I very much embrace them now because
there's a lot more room for me just to experiment and if I fail I fail if it goes well it goes well and but but when it hits it's like it's gold yeah those 10 room 10 people room you know it's like 1:00 in the morning you finally get on stage and they've seen everything if you can make those [ __ ] laugh blood from a stone you got something right and it's it's like running with weights on I uh I was doing the main room you know I've been blessed I've been gigging a lot on the road but I've been uh you know I I'll do a couple weekends at The Comedy Store and I you know I get the last spot in the main room which is where I can do like an hour if I want to and and just last week it was a great crowd by the end of the night I'm going up usually my Saturday Spot is Sunday so I'll go up around like 12:45 and the crowd was still there and they were great but right when I walk on the stage these two dudes in the front row just jump me you know they're just trying to Heckle me right right out the gate and I'm I'm very blessed I've been doing comedy long enough that I'm really I'm dead on the inside you know it's like burnt wood at this point there's no real reaction you're getting me so everything you're thrown at me is a waste and I'm just going to hit you with everything so I mean I'm just hitting these dudes bam Dam the crowd is going nuts I mean just going plause break at like at like 12:45 at night boom boom boom this guy I don't know I just say something I I go where's your wife he goes at home I'm like yeah buried in the backyard and the place goes nuts and he just turns he's like really [ __ ] really and he just starts going nuts he gets up he tries to grab his drink and throw it at me his friend grabs his arm stops it so he starts walking out and man this dude grabs a chair and tries to throw it at me on stage and luckily his friends got it cuz it was going to hit somebody in the front row but I just get this weird reaction out of these people they tried to like hurt my that's the store though too the store is I had two people throw drinks at me at the store one guy threw a bottle of water at me one guy threw a glass at me yeah and you got store is a dark dark place man there's first of all there's zero crowd control yeah they're all comedians have to do their own crowd control and you
have to like kick people out the only guy who used to kick people out was har Pete crazy Harris Pete I had more I've had more people removed from The Comedy Store than any other place I've ever played ever it was so bad that and it would [ __ ] with everybody so like there would be such evil moments there that I would buy the entire room drinks remember I did that several times I remember that because it was like look you know we're all in this together I'm not trying to makeing money here just so you can't be an [ __ ] all the door guys look like they're in some emo band that has keyboarders and triangles and it's just like it's like death cap for Cutie is security for the I'm like dude who's securing you cool man yeah tight pants and knit cap skinny jeans knit caps pull too low yeah crying you know it just like it's crazy so yeah I mean I've had a couple instances of that man I just they don't have security there they really don't have security not real security I just don't know why they just don't get the you remember Dublin's had that big black security guard has to be black you have to mention that well cuz it was I called him deep space he was so big and black it was I've never seen a human being with this big a hands in my life that's a guy you need well you need something the com store doesn't have anything I mean do they have any security nothing is there a one guy who's like a big guy who's trained in the Arts Don Lewis was the last of the badass door guys he was this guy who with this comic who just knew like karate at a black belt in karate a big Yol Dude too yeah he used to date he used to date this like 68 basketball player it's a good size yeah for for make a gladiator baby all right Don Lewis and some 68 white chick would be great but I've seen him take on three dudes at one time yeah sometimes you have to at that place you Lu they're all drunk though by the time you get in a fight with somebody at The Comedy Store usually they're beyond hammered but Duncan brought it up it's like who how do you feel when you're the guy that goes after the comedian like the guy just trying to make you laugh and have a good time you go after him try to physically assault him it's like what is that well it's also Hollywood
part of it is Hollywood itself because you get a disproportionate amount of people who think they deserve way more attention than they're getting like this is the place where they congregate this is the this is the light that draws the moths yeah this is the place so they come here and one of things that they want to do is prove that they're better than everybody else you ever talk to someone who's like a really weak comedian that's sort of just starting out and like you know we're going to [ __ ] own this town did you ever see that movie um uh overnight you ever hear movie overnight it's a [ __ ] brilliant movie about this very thing it's about a guy who is the director of Boondock Saints yeah who wrote and directed boond do Saints and they produced this movie where they and initially when they started following him he had just gotten this huge development deal because he wrote the script Harvey Weinstein bought it they bought the bar where he worked in as a bartender and now it's his bar and this whole thing and he's overnight success okay but you watch this guy like become the like the most bloated [ __ ] because of all this success that he's having and all this agulation he's getting he believes his own hype and tail spins and the whole thing is it's really fascinating to watch really really fascinating to watch because the guy becomes just a [ __ ] [ __ ] for no reason you know when I used to work at UH crunch Jean Simmons's wife used to go work out there and she was talking to me about Fame and she said what's the name of the lead singer kiss uh Paul Stanley Paul Stanley she said Paul Stanley told her that Fame doesn't change you Fame just amplifies whoever you are by a thousand times well this guy just decided that he was Billy badass and he was the badass [ __ ] we going to [ __ ] know this time it was all that they've never seen a [ __ ] group of talent like us we're Triple Threat we're you know it was all this like it wouldn't be like hey I think we're going to have careers we're going to be successful God we're lucky we can make a good film I really think we can make a good film it wasn't any of that it was all we're going to [ __ ] dominate we're going to we're going to take over this town and um the whole it's a fascinating piece on
watching the reaction to this guy like he gets huge and all this you know he has all this arrogance and then it all implodes on him and you get to see like the the the aftermath of it and it's a really interesting psychology or psychological sort of a uh like a profile like it's it's it's an interesting documentation of a process the process of hitting unfathomable Heights of the lottery basically yeah and that's you get that a lot like on sets like you hear that a lot about like you'll hear about certain actors it's screaming everybody on the set you know where's my [ __ ] water and this you know like throw scripts at like some I don't want to say who it was but she threw her Coke in the face of the executive producer and said if you [ __ ] your wife the way you right it's no wonder why you're getting a divorce oh my God yeah don't you think that has to do with how early almost you get it no and I think it's just some people just the pressure first of all the pressure of being on like like some sh like let's say like okay let's go with uh Home Improvement when Home Improvement was the number one show in the country the pressure must be Madness it must be Madness like the reason why Charlie Sheen cracks like that don't you think part of that is the pressure of just being Charlie Sheen just the pressure of being on this gigantic [ __ ] hit sitcom and every we ago people are following you with cameras and you just want to do Coke just want to go [ __ ] crazy you've been on a hit show was there a lot of pressure when you were doing like a fear factor that was totally no not well there's definitely a lot of pressure but it wasn't the same thing because I wasn't really that famous it was a it was like Fear Factor was famous I was just the host it's like you know like the guy who's a host of Survivor what's his name Greg uh Jeff Jeff uh Jeff yeah Jeff propes when you watch Jeff propes like you don't think like oh this Jeff propes he like oh there's that guy who host Survivor Survivor is a show so Fear Factor was the Big Show I was just the the host you were just the host of it's not like being Charlie sheane that's a different level kind of psychosis can't go anywhere without people going oh [ __ ] Charlie Shane yo
man I like rocks too he's got that right kind of Fame I talk about on stage where it's like he's above it meaning like no matter what he does we're cool with it I mean the guy locked a porn star in the bathroom after smoking crack and got a huge TV deal with FX anybody else that's taking them down but he's just at that level where it's like he's above it I mean he's got a new movie coming out I like him I like those kind of character well it's not it's not that he's above it he owns it that's who he is you accept it the real problem is when someone pretends to be something they're not if someone pretends to be like a Ted hagger type dude pretends to be this very Pious religious leader who's trying to show people the way meanwhile he's smoking meth and getting gay hookers that's that's what people have a problem with it's not smoking meth and getting gay hookers cuz if you know if George Michael did it and was just like honest about it like look I got a lot of money I really like meth and I like hookers you know they're big boys they know what they're doing they know what they're doing we're having a good time here own your [ __ ] yeah there's no problem nobody has a problem with male prostitution everybody's trying to stop prostitution but nobody puts any effort whatsoever into stopping male prostitution no campaigns there's no Billboards there's [ __ ] a lot of counseling to stop prostitution on the female side I've never seen a these girls are getting used this is terrible they're being victimized and degraded nobody cares about the boys they do not care those guys are sucking dicks all day long for cash nobody cares at all because no one's looking out for men no one's looking out for men in this country do you remember uh fat Eddie that used to hang out at The Comedy Store uh the Mexican guy yes great guy it was his birthday and like everyone's buying him shots and it kind of goes along the lines like everybody's protecting women you can't protect women enough no matter what like if a woman gets just shitfaced you're like you don't have to do this you don't have to do this yeah listen no go home listen we're worried about you you're too drunk something bad's gonna happen dude Eddie's doing shots he's so drunk he's like I want to go to uh I forget the name of the nightclub which
after hours I want to go there nobody's like Eddie don't were like you want to drop you off by yourself he's like yeah the guy's throwing up on the side of the car nobody cares nobody cares at all that Eddie might die in a dumpster yeah nobody cares about male porn nobody cares about male prostitution nobody's looking out for men period I got called a men's rights dodo M dodo by this chick it was someone we're talking about like uh someone the Tweet had something to do with feminism and someone called me a male rights dodo and I was like what does that even mean I had I had to look up MRA it's male rights Advocate or male rights activist and I was like wow so someone who's a feminist can make fun of someone who's a male rights activist that's hilarious like just that that you would do that like across the board massive generalization male rights ad that's like saying nope men don't need any more help like oh no no no we're not going to allow that no we want feminism but no help for men like as if there aren't some C crazy divorce laws everybody's heard of ridiculous brutal terrifying divorces where the men were essentially targeted targeted roped in sucked in scammed and and no one's looking out for those guys I can't believe one cares it's almost acceptable in this country for women to try to get pregnant by famous guys like it's an acceptable practice that's well listen and they say he should know better he should know better maybe he should you're right maybe he should but but it's not cute to support what's essentially criminal behavior when someone's doing that it's criminal Behavior you know it I know it it's kind of weird you know a great example of what you're talking about is like anytime you hear a story about a woman cutting a man's private off you hear women laughing about that constantly oh I don't know about that I've never heard a woman laugh I've heard girls joke about it that they think it's hilarious maybe really dumb ones that you're hanging around with which is who I choose to hang out with but you hear people laugh about that if it went the other way nobody would be like dude that's not cool that's I agree there would be way more outrage if a guy cut off a woman's [ __ ] like cut it out scooped it out right which there should
be outrage but it should be outrage both way I mean to cut off a man's genal and like put it in a blender is like horrific it is horrific that lady was really evil and whether she was a man or a woman that's just someone being evil to a person and that's kind of my point it's like why wouldn't you be a male rights Advocate what about that guy that got arrested for rape did four years in jail and it turned out that the girl was lying and now she has to do two months and she gets to do it on the weekends we talked about it the other day it's it's a terrible case this poor man he was just the neighbor and the girl got caught watching pornography by her mother so she concocted the story that she was sexually assaulted and she said that the story just got bigger and bigger and bigger until it spiraled out of control we talked to a guy on Greg Fitzsimmons show the other day who was accused falsely accused of rape and he went to jail for six years years before the woman finally recanted he has zero repercussion he never got a dime from the state all he got was an apology the woman never did a day of time and it was a woman who he just got drunk with and she didn't want to tell her boyfriend that she cheated on him so she made up a story about getting raped famous uh there's a football player who just got on Seattle yeah who was in jail for five years he was going to be like a five-star athlete at USC yeah and the same the same situation there's no repercussion if you're not a male rights advocate in those instances you're not a human human you're not a humanist you don't care you care about women more than you care about the human race as a whole and the human race as a whole absolutely women need to be protected but guess what so do everyone so does every baby so does every adult so does every young boy when a boy is five do you protect him how about 10 how about 20 20 is where you stop that's ridiculous we're human beings and that's what you're dealing with is someone lying and ruining someone's life and that can happen on both sides and you shouldn't the idea that you could like make fun of someone who's like looking out for men's rights that's so gross if if someone made fun of feminists the values and ideas of the True Values and ideas of equality in terms of Law and
employment and non-discrimination all those things if someone actually made fun of that just because they didn't like women that would be disgusting it would be disgusting and misogynistic but a woman can say that like male rights dodo or male rights Advocate dummies like that did that completely dismissed the idea that there should be someone looking out for men's rights but the idea is the problem is who's going to come forth and say we need to change those laws who's going to come forth and say listen if you if you want to ACC falsely accuse someone of rape you have to go to jail for the exact amount of time that you could have been prison agree with that you should you absolutely should why wouldn't why wouldn't that be that only seems logical because they're not looking out for the human race they're looking out for team vagina first yes and they will even say that so many women are victim demise that you know men should have to take the hit every now and then false accusations are acceptable as long as we limit the amount because there's so they pale in comparison to the amount of women that are raped that's sort of maybe true but it's not there not doesn't make a any less bad they're still really bad and it [ __ ] up the entire positive side of it like it it [ __ ] up the entire proman side of it if you're willing to ignore the fact that a guy is unjustly victimized yeah I was talking I had Tom leus I'm my the naughty Show podcast and um he you know he got in a lot of trouble because he would give out the names of the victims in these sexual stories when the story was coming out that they weren't being honest and you know I I personally don't think any name in a sexual assault case should be put out until a final verdict comes out I don't know if that's realistic but I mean especially in today when anybody can a final verdict like this guy's case where he's in jail for four years he could have I mean he was essentially labeled as a rapist for 4 years I mean when is it okay to talk about it then when it turns out 4 years later that it wasn't I agree with that I mean personally I would like nobody's name to be put out at all because again you could find out later on that they are Innocent but I mean just the accusation towards a man
TMZ will run with it if you're somewhat famous they'll say your name bright lights everywhere and alleged victim and you never hear their name and I understand a point of that because you don't want you want women to come forward and not be afraid that their names could to be splashed everywhere but let's not put the guy's name out until we actually know something down the line you know it's like it's interesting but when you're in a position like say if you're a famous basketball player or something along those lines like there's no innocent until proven guilty there's accused them and then let them try to figure out how to exonerate themselves that it happens very often and a lot of the times it's just people that are crazy that are making things up you know a lot of people don't know that Mike Tyson's story when Mike Tyson went to jail for rape did you know that the girl who accused him of rape also had a false accusation of rape that she had a drop a year before that she had made up a rape story a year before that like this wasn't a new trick for her and I'm not saying that you know I don't know what happened or what didn't happen but Mike Tyson is incredibly honest about his background like what he did wrong what he did right how he was feeling why he did the things he did and he maintains this day that he did not rap I saw this one man's show at the Pantages it was phenomenal what did he say about that what did he say about he didn't do it to this day he never did it he has no reason not to lie about it right now he's like I'm being honest about everything else I have no reason to lie right now I believe him and he went to jail for that and I'm not saying that it wasn't you know like Mike Tyson was out of control I'm not saying it wasn't a case where there was a guy who was just like scaring the [ __ ] out of people he was he look you know put yourself in his shoes listen to his explanations of his life and you kind of understand where he was coming from I mean I I think for sure he was a very very aggressive man but also for sure like how how aggressive could he have been that that is okay I mean how aggressive is it I mean because he is he scary so it's okay to make up a lie about him like when is it okay it's not it's never
okay man but to this day that happened he went to jail and he's not the only guy it's happened to many people it it is it's definitely uh you know one way towards one group than the other and it's just horrible man I mean you're ruining people's lives doesn't have to be that's the real problem I don't think it has to be only the people that you know the the like the the the female the weaker sex are the ones in the we weaker physically are the ones that get the you know get the compassion should be everybody should have compassion for isn't there a term for women who are sexist against men it's like mrey or something it's like a I forget the name of the word but there's actually a label for it it's silly any I'm for everybody man I I like everybody I really am if they're nice yeah 100% if you treat people like a human being I'm I'm totally open to you and I get it that women have to deal with a lot of douchy guys I totally get it I get I've been a douchy guy in my my life I think we all have trying to figure out who the [ __ ] you are you're 17 or 18 or what have you growing up maybe you're angry maybe you know maybe somebody catches you on the wrong day we've all been we've all wrong thing it's part of like learning how to communicate with people so I could imagine being a woman being pursued by a bunch of [ __ ] aggressive [ __ ] I could to I mean was never that but I can get that I understand that I get why you would think the guys are disgusting if somebody raped you I get why you would hate all men I totally get it I totally get it but we're not all the same like no one's all the same there's there's nice women there's nice men there's nice people there's people that enjoy each other's company on both sides and both sexes and we have to unite as a as a race against shitty angry nasty Behavior evil Behavior V victimizing people all that stuff is the real issue has nothing to do with whether it's women to men or men to women it's gross on both sides it's scary on both sides a woman that's willing to poison her husband and kill him is just as scary as a man who beats his wife to death they're they're both monsters they're terrifying people they're they they make both as dangerous as the other one sometimes you see like these sentences where like a man and woman commit a crime the guy gets life
the woman gets like 3 weeks in jail you know why girls turn on the boy [ __ ] wasn't my idea his motherfucker's crazy dragging me across country snitches get stitches did you see this um there's an article about this woman from uh real housewives in New Jersey do you know this oh uh wrote a some kind of uh yeah housewife is she on trial no well there's that one too she basically uh says rape is okay what yeah she's uh her Melissa Gorga supports marital rape in her book what yes she talk she wrote a book about her hot marriage and uh it's hilarious [ __ ] because they take all these passages and her husband is just a Savage he's this he's this Guinea with shaved head who wears leather pants okay right there you're you're you're you're in trouble the leather pants are shady [ __ ] when you see them I mean look ladies that's a Savage all right look at the size of that guy that's just how he goes and it's it's hilarious reading the book and I was reading it from a feminist site which is really particularly fascinating because they were [ __ ] furious they were so mad you know he's this big Meathead dude yeah and apparently he just bangs Her Like A Drum and he doesn't accept no he I call it caveman [ __ ] yeah he caveman [ __ ] her but she looks super happy yeah well I was having a conversation uh I go to a dog park I got a pit bull and there's a bunch of other Comics who have pit bus and a bunch of female Comics came up with their pits to this dog park and all they were talking about was Dick from the moment they got there to the moment they left it was a conversation about Dick and how they're planning dick and all this stuff and they were talking about this one guy she's like should I [ __ ] him I'm like yeah let him just caveman [ __ ] you just like knuckle drag primate [ __ ] you and they like let it happen cuz that's what you want you see these girls with these Emos and these skinny jeans and these guys crying like that's not it you need a nice caveman [ __ ] some girls some girls don't want that Sam tripley the point is some girls do and everybody's mad at this girl because she likes it she likes to get Gorilla [ __ ] by this Savage dude and people think it's horrible it's terrible she likes to like give into his requests
she likes to have dinner ready for him or he gets pissed and everybody's like this guy's an [ __ ] you don't have to marry him okay she's just telling you but the problem is she's giving advice and the guy writes in the book too listen listen to this men I know you think your woman isn't the type who wants to be taken but trust me she is every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while if your wife says no turn her around rip her clothes off she wants to be dominated yo women don't realize how easy men are just give us what we want that is hilarious that's really funny man some people are in the role playing I love that role playing I love that cosplay I think that's awesome if a man comes home and there's no dinner on the table and his wife is on the phone watching TV or on the computer ignoring him he won't feel respected that's what did you expect It's Real Housewives of Jersey yeah if it works for them that's that's the point it works for them godamn it what's your problem people hate it well they hate it because it sends out a message to other girls you know that they have to tolerate that [ __ ] and you might not want it but some people do yes some people do yeah I mean it's not my style I wouldn't want if I was a woman either if you want ape [ __ ] your wife ape [ __ ] your wife it's not even just ape [ __ ] I think he said rape don't rape no means no unless you're role playing unless you're role playing but no means no it seemed like rape to me it's just hilarious it's uh it's it's really interesting There's real passionate sex and there's maintenance sex you need them both for healthy marriage maintenance sex keeps the wheels greased the lines of communication open and the fights to a minimum it's basically it's basically controlling a zoo like yeah like her her her the way she handles being married it's like being a zookeeper occasionally you got to feed the monkeys you got to feed the animals you got to keep the the animals have to be treated with respect you know nothing wrong with that if it works for you yeah she [ __ ] seems really happy if she's happy you know it should be like this works for me you might want to try it it's really interesting man it's really
interesting is really interesting because uh you see how other people react to this person's life and they're angry you know it's it's it's I kind I think it'd be more funny than anything but I guess a site like like these feminist sites I guess their point is that this sends a really bad message I've always felt like there's a difference between progressives and liberals mhm Liberals are really open-minded to all all thoughts I don't know if you could be openminded to but you're pretty much open mind to different lives I feel like progressives are a little more skewed way to the left kind of way the neocons are skewed way to the right where they have a certain vision of how the world should be it's more of an idealistic view of the world whereas like it's like Rosio Donell versus Howard Stern I feel like Howard Stern and what he represents is more of a liberal base where he's like he'll make fun of everybody whereas Rosie odonnell has a certain view of how she should see the world and it it views Progressive you know like like feminism and all that stuff and I'm open-minded to everybody I don't care if you're straight gay or whatever you're into man woman whatever if you're a cool person I I'm down with it yeah I think the idea of progressive is just that it's just like anything else call yourself a republican call yourself a Democrat call yourself a liberal call yourself a conservative the reality is you who you are is a probably a gigantic spectrum of different things and the to to narrow it down to one or the other and to want other people to be like you is insane like idealism if somebody reads this and they have a problem that this woman lives like this personally then if she likes it what if she likes it is that okay like I was looking at this uh Twitter page the other day and it was some crazy lady who likes to get ball gagged and she's like there's a smile behind this ball gag and that's she has she's shown her rope marks in her arms and she's like in a bondage and [ __ ] like that but that's what she's into it isn't real feminism like allowing all the full spectrum of of human behavior in in in the the female mind you know just like in the I mean it's a [ __ ] it's ridiculous if this girl likes this and this keeps him
happy it's like well it's like when they gave Palestine democracy and they got mad when they voted for who they voted for it's like you can't say hey here's freedom to vote and then get mad at who they vote for you know it's like if you have freedom to choose and you choose something I like doesn't mean that you didn't use it right it's just the way it is there's also people have to acknowledge that Italians are not regular humans they just have to okay they have to it's a totally different type of human being Italians are different than everybody else it's it's a completely different thing they came from the Romans they there's thousands of years of savagery Behind these people all of a sudden they start making spaghetti and meatballs you think everything's going to calm the [ __ ] down right it's not it's not a normal person right it's there's there's a big difference between the savagery that lies in the Italian DNA and your average waspy type chick you know who went to Columbia and wears Birkenstocks and is really tired of [ __ ] like this promoting this kind of [ __ ] male Patron you know what is that I don't different different type of human that's what it is okay she needs a get caveman look there's no way you can tell me that Oprah Winfrey and Shaquille O'Neal have the same thoughts they do not Rosie odonnell and Shaquille O do they have the same thoughts does Michael Jordan think like Katie kurick no the [ __ ] he does not okay we're different godamn it and what works for you might not work for them it works for them might be awesome in their world I I always find that people want a world that plays with their strengths and they want to Outlaw what plays of their weaknesses you know they want a world that they are their King and then get rid of the people that make me play to my weaknesses and it's just it's so obvious when you see that when you know ideally it should be like everybody should be allowed if you treat your fellow human being nice you should be able to be who you want to be do what you want to do you know it's like the naughty shows a great example of there's some female Comics who will not do the naughty show because they don't like that there's a porn star here and there even though I put more females up in my
show than most people I put more female comedians up in my shows than most people do I find female Comics very funny I the ones that I like there's some who go in there and just Crush that room but there's some women who will not even get on the stage because they just think it's it's degrading yeah degrading to women yeah I understand that thinking I know where they're coming from I don't agree with it I think you know it's it's very possible to be a porn star and uh be a feminist if you really love sex and you really I mean I'm not saying that every girl who does it feels that way but you could be you could be someone who really loves sex and really loves being like U you know an exhibitionist and wants to [ __ ] on film business and a brand almost how come a man's able to do it and we don't go looking to save him but if a woman does it like okay just I mean this is just throwing it out there just trying to objectively look at the full spectrum of human behavior and saying it is possible that it's not degrading for that woman it is possible if if it's just sex I think it comes from the fact that there was a notion one time that women don't like sex that women only give into our sex cuz we want it and they really want nothing to do with it but the reality is they love sex as much as men love sex and I've been reading about all these girls pulling guns out on dudes trying to have sex with them did you hear about the the Denny's waitress who robbed the guy at gunpoint took his wallet then made him have sex with her friend oh God at gunpoint yeah he might had a good time that night I don't know man how ugly is that friend did you need to pull a gun out how did he get it hard that's what's really yeah that's got to be a rough one guy's a bad [ __ ] and get hard with a gun in his head yeah yeah I think some Quin Tarantino there's a lot of uh people that are really emphasizing uh things that would benefit women but there's a lot of them that do think that men should be able to be whoever the [ __ ] they want and we should be able to choose to choose that I mean there's people that you get along with that I wouldn't and I get along with that you wouldn't it's just a part of life we're weird pieces and we don't fit together like Puzzles you know sometimes you you you find find people and together they
work right doesn't me seem to make sense and yeah they might be broken but guess what you're a little broken too stupid you're not the perfect person you know nobody's perfect I read this one article this woman was talking about she she posted all of her hate tweets all the people that tweeted her and they were about various subjects all kinds of different things they disagreed with her insulting her and [ __ ] on her she said but she says you know what um these people all have in common they all hate women it's like no no no no no no no no they they don't hate women they don't like you people don't like you you can't say they hate women that's the biggest copout of all time well that's trying to control the thought and stop the conversation that's like the low blow like okay conversation so you hate women we're done yeah exactly exactly and the idea that because someone hates you they hate everything with a vagina is ridiculous right and especially when they're being very specific about what you said that's stupid that doesn't mean they hate every woman and that idea that you're going to get backup from every person with the double XX chromosome on the planet because you said that is is a silly like parachute that people pull to try to stop everything it's control your thoughts it's ridiculous it's weak and it's hacky and it's tired it's it's a really weak-minded way of of approaching any sort of a discussion you know you could you could show about how angry these [ __ ] people are about various ideas which is true the anger that you see on Twitter and on the Internet it's unbelievable man there was there was a a a thread today that I posted uh I posted it last night about climate change and it was just an article that I read I think it was in Vice uh maybe it wasn't Vice I'll find out because I I I posted something on Vice about um the uh Pacific Garbage Patch and uh there was this thing on climate change and all I did was just put it up there and the the topic was nine things that or things that scientists are less sure of than they are of climate change and all the sudden my [ __ ] it is on Vice motherboard. vice.com all of a sudden my Twitter feed became this massive argument back and forth between people that are in total denial that we're causing climate change so yeah
these are the same scientists in the 70s said we're headed to an Ice Age um no they're not those guys are dead okay that's 1970 you dumb [ __ ] yeah that's a long ass time ago you think those [ __ ] people are alive 1970 that's 43 [ __ ] years ago you think those people are still alive it's just people react emotionally now instead of logically they don't digest what you're saying and understand might be a different perspective it's not it's not even emotional it's ideologically there's a left and a right and people on the left think that climate change is B done by man and that we're accelerating it we need to do something and carbon tax and all the [ __ ] and people on the right think it's just deploy to get more taxes people on the right say look you look at the trends the Earth is warming and cooling it's been going on forever it is the way things have always been well how come the last six years have showed a cooling Trend I me it's all these wacky [ __ ] that don't want to believe it they're not scientists they have real jobs there's people that are studying this 20 hours of [ __ ] day every day of the week and they don't really know what the [ __ ] is going on and some [ __ ] with a regular job who reads the Wall Street Journal and pretends he's a player in the stock market because he day trades during lunch this dumb [ __ ] thinks he can tell you yeah no he's one of those weirdo right-wing you know there's this's this uh what's good for business there's and a lot of of them are broke that's what's really interesting about people that support big businesses and they have right-wing ideologies and a lot of them that will support these big businesses are getting [ __ ] over by the same businesses on the regular isn't it called the the lottery mentality where like even though people are broke they're like I might win the lottery and then I don't want to pay taxes on that we're like well that that probably not going to happen well there's also that people don't ever want to think that they're losers they always want to think that they're just winners who haven't won yet so even if their life is [ __ ] it keeps falling AP hard and they never get it right one day I'm going to get it and when I do these [ __ ] pukes in Washington aren getting a nickel these [ __ ] they don't
work for [ __ ] you know what they're trying to do is support the hippies to vote against your own interests it's just so interesting yeah this guy Seth brunstein the Associated Press science correspondent what he said was that the world's climatologists are now gearing up for officially to officially Proclaim that they are 95% certain that humans are to blame for global warning that 5% Gap may seem large it is not in science nothing is 100% sure not even the law of gravity and according to this guy Borstein there are a few things that scientists are just as or less certain of than climate change and they are one that cigarettes kill two the age of the universe three that vitamins make you healthy and four that dioxin in super fun sites is dangerous wow that's Hil that's hilarious also that String Theory actually describes reality and that the rate of the universe expanded after the big bang those are uh those are other ones that the author has added a little less certain about this author uh Brian Merchant it's an interesting article and it's it's a big point is that for whatever reason people that don't really know want to jump up and say look I am no [ __ ] climate expert by any stretch of the imagination I I sort of get it but I also I know that there was I mean there's been ice ages without human intervention there's been the period when the dinosaurs were here was a vastly different climate than we're experiencing right now we obviously had nothing to do with that that was an asteroid impact that changed our climate all that [ __ ] happens and it happens on a regular basis and it probably happened 12,000 years ago and probably what ended the last ice age but these people that pretend that they know that we're not causing some of it you're crazy is it that you think that you can now get your news tailored to your views instead of like everybody watching like four channels now there's such Niche news channels that just play to what you want to hear so it just reinforces what you're saying like there's no real EV you don't hear the other side of the argument you only hear what you want to hear well you there's certainly that that's certainly an option at least it is right now you know I think one of these days there's going to be some sort
of Technology where you could post something and it'll immediately be verified as truth or horeshit like say if you you oh i' love to see the horeshit symbol well it seems like it should be able to like you should be able to post a statement and then have to put like an s or an i i is that it's just an idea or you know F maybe is just that it's fiction or S is a statement if you want people to take you seriously so if you go with s and you believe this and then boom it calculates all of the known scientific data from peer-reviewed sources and it just gives you a pile of horeshit that sits underneath your post oh this that should be a graphic this this post has been shown to be horseshit and that is something that like would be really interesting like it would stop a lot of like internet debate like climate debate or this debate or that there's a lot of it you got to Google [ __ ] and you got to find the post they post it up and oh let's buy a source and it'd be nice if there was a and it will it will happen it's going to happen Consumer Reports no bias just boom no advertisements no nothing speaking of which people on uh Twitter today were schooling me on Yelp some business owners because I I love Yelp Yelp is such a great resource when you go somewhere like if you go like to a town you want to find out what the badass restaurant is for the most part it's super accurate but apparently two things that people uh showed me one which is kind of crazy is that Yelp actually writes reviews like they have employees that even write bad reviews what yes and that if you have some shitty reviews on your site they'll actually ask you if you want to get those moved and they can like move them to the back for a price yeah they charge you they charge you per month and it's uh like these people were describing like being called like once a month by the company and you know I mean I I obviously this is one side of it and I would love to heared the Yelp side of as well cuz like I said I I use yel all the time and I really like it but it said there was another thing that 20% of all Yelp reviews are written by paage shills well I mean you could see that on like iTunes comments and I mean like you can just there's computer programs who just like will make up fake uh like
comments well you know what else they're doing there's also people that are manipulating their iTunes uh numberers especially podcast by re-uploading the same Episode by uh by they there's some way that they manipulate the upload process I had a Chris score was on my podcast he was telling me about he know he wouldn't name the names but he knows people who know how to manipulate it just so their rankings can go up yeah well that's how your rankings go up I have no clue I just your rankings go up by apparently the iTunes thing has to do with posts and comments and it also has to do with downloads it also has to do with new subscribers and so people develop algorithms to kind of hack into this allegedly allegedly this is allegedly by the way this is not my thoughts this is according to another podcaster really was upset about it that he thinks that there's some Shenanigans going on I'm sure there is well did you hear about that guy that uh he was buying um buying Twitter friends you there's you there's a service and it was a comedian he uh admitted to buying Twitter friends and then last night he actually punched um a reviewer he was at a show did you hear about this yes and I mean really kind of [ __ ] mild [ __ ] that this guy oh I've heard stories about that dude the guy who punched him oh yeah what's his name uh whatever you don't need to it who wants to get sued I but I was I was actually on tour and they were telling me a story punches you we'll sue you the story about him that uh he was fam well then if he Sue I'm not g to tell a story no he doesn't you don't have to he didn't say who the guy is well what he would do is like if he if he if he found out you were the same kind of comedian as him an ethnic group right he founded you the same time a comedian in his and you got booked on this ethnic Group Comedy Night what he would find out is he would call you up and he go hey I got this other gig that night it pays this why don't you do my show and You' be like well I already got booked but I I'll offer you more money guys okay so you unbook that show he'll call them up get you booked on book himself in your spot and then when the show comes up he'll call you up and go yeah the show got canceled I'm sorry and then go do your spot in your show unless
you've heard this for firsthand I wouldn't say that cuz that's you just I just told me I just said it didn't say gu name yeah I would never it out no we can't edit [ __ ] out this come edit out goes live goes live yeah that's why I've heard the story so he punched this guy in the face this guy who is a um uh I guess he's a reviewer for what do he review for not the Huffington Post it was a I'll tell you right now he reviews for uh Newsweek Daily Beast the Beast Hil ious I mean it's hilarious the the guy was uh you know he's telling a bunch of hacky jokes and so the dude talked about it on his Twitter and he came up to him asks him if that was his name and just punches him right in the face and then pushed him and then came back and punched him in the face again and what the guy said was really [ __ ] mild this is what gets you to punch his the guy's name was funny until he dusted off his 2005 Katrina jokes in a ra inly bad gwb impression that sounds like some some criticism that started off saying you were funny yeah you're were funny and then you did a shitty joke or you're funny until you started telling jokes then he said he makes the um teth his umth joke about how Asians can't distinguish between letters L and R election erection we get it that's it and then the next one is the guy just punched him in the face that's incredible the guy's name is Josh Rogan r o g i n and no I'm not talking about this cuz his name is Rogan I'm talking about this because it's important you shouldn't get punched because you say someone sucks who by listening to Josh Rogan's tweets pretty much [ __ ] sucks and if the guy's not telling the truth I mean if he's you know if he made up these guys I mean this guy's tweets it would be one thing but we could read them you know we could read them and real we could see exactly what he said that got him punched and it's pretty goddamn mild pretty tame I mean there's you know there's no hiding this it's not like he called me a go and he says my mother's a [ __ ] no no no no no no no it says right there he so if that's really how it went down we don't know how it went down I swung on everybody that criticized me on Twitter it' be just one I'd be Bruce Lee taking on 90 dudes at one time which I was talking about with the climate change thing is how goddamn
angry people get on Twitter people are so angry and I don't think it's because of the words that they're debating I think most of this anger is they're already on a short fuse because they're not happy with their situation whether it's their relation ship or their body or their job or their career or all the above there's whether it's you know whether there's something they did wrong or whether there's something they haven't done right whatever it is I think people are just inherently frustrated at their position in life and there's you know there's everybody's Anonymous so it's like there's very little accountability it doesn't come back to you it only goes back to your page and it stops there that's why what uh ESPN has done is now you have to log in with your Facebook page because Facebook you have to use your real name they have to verify it's you and you have to use your real name so if you're going to comment somewhere you have to put your name on it oh that's funny but ESPN makes you do that that sounds like [ __ ] to me I don't like that I do and I don't I like accountability you know I do too yeah but I don't think it takes away a lot of trolling if you're going to say something you're going to put your name on it yeah and I guess it does if you're rep if you're representing a company like ESPN they do have a very a certain um reputation to uphold they got mad at me once I who yeah I said that uh I said that this dude Houston Alexander fights like he tried to rape his mother I'm sorry I said that but that's an old school gym expression unfortunately I as a a person who's trained in fight gyms my whole life that's a a really common expression it doesn't seem like it is but it actually is it's especially in the east coast where I grew up in Boston that is I have heard that so many times in in a description of a guy dude it's it's Disney man they they they uh suspended Tony Kornheiser because he said that one of the female reporters was dressing like she's like 20 years younger and they he had to take a week off I mean it's because ESPN's had a lot of pro if you read their book they had a lot of problem with sexual harassment way back in the day so anything that comes even close to that is like who it's just
unfortunate when everybody has to act I mean it's it's one thing if you're saying something that's shitty and but it's another thing to act like straightforward towards political correctness because if I said he he fights like he's trying like he tried to kill his mother everyone would have been fine with that you fight like he fights like he tried to kill his mother everybody would have been fine like that but the sexual implications of rape are somehow or another off it's just too it's too much it's off violence and sex are just looked at two totally different things isn't that weird you go to see a movie and you see a dude Kill 30 40 people but if they [ __ ] and you see his penis going into her vagina people will explode the thing that they want to do all day everybody wants a [ __ ] this is what most people want if your hormones work you want this you want someone who wants to [ __ ] you and then you want to [ __ ] them and you actually like them and they actually like you and you you you guys both like to [ __ ] each other and you go at it that's what people want yep what what do people not want to get killed they don't want to get killed but what can't you see you can't see people [ __ ] what can you see people getting killed why is that we're crazy you know we we never hear about stories about spre sexist PE people walking in offices and just [ __ ] having sex with everybody you never see that in the news but you see a guy going crazy and shooting everybody yeah nobody goes in the neighbor the Navy yard and sucks everybody's dick some chick went crazy he went crazy he went on a dick sucking Rampage you know that is a really important point we we have this weird desire for for violence in this country and even though in real life we love sex and we want sex all the time you can't just blow people on TV you can't I mean if they if they show anything in a in a TV show it's a kiss and maybe start pulling each other's clothes off and then the [ __ ] screen go it's the sex and City stuff it's like Pass and Pass next day laying in bed could you imagine if there was a real incident where a guy came to like some police station and just sucked everybody's dick just gas the whole room pulls a pin throws it in there sleeping gas everybody falls as sleep they wake up and the videotapes
him just show him sucking every dick in the place just he goes he they unconscious these men were they have families they just suck in their [ __ ] he gives them all Viagra anally puts it in their ass crushes it up crunch crunch crunch the Russian chick yeah who uh the guy walked into the the beauty salon and he goes [ __ ] oh yeah [ __ ] who has that much telephone wire available to tie somebody up and then just shoved Viagra in it for 3 days that dude let her he's full of [ __ ] it's nonsense he's full of [ __ ] he [ __ ] her look I I even I just think even if someone gave you Viagra if you didn't want to [ __ ] him you probably wouldn't get hard Viagra doesn't make you just get hard for no reason you eat a viagara your dick doesn't just get hard you have to get stimulated I know man I had some weird directions I think he's annoying he's probably just a dumb dude that wanted attention she make me sex slave that was the worst Russian accent ever dude you got a future in voiceovers I don't think I do believe in yourself I don't I don't did you see that dude with they grew a nose on his face yeah he had a bad car accident yeah he's got a nose on his forehead well he had a car accident and then he got a nose infection and in uh the middle of this infection um his nose actually like you know like you you can get a necrosis you can get like a really bad skin infection and your tissue dies off and they have to replace that tissue like sometimes with staff infections guys have to get um there's the dude yeah but they're growing his nose right that's their growing well you know that woman who was on The Time Magazine cover with her nose cut off do do you know you remember that was a time whatever was a famous case of violence against women in Afghanistan she was given away insanely horrible she was given away as like as property as like you know she they the parents owed money or something and they gave her away oh my my God you know having little girls man and the idea of that about giving your little girl away to somebody is so horrific to me so impossible to even imagine I've been to Afghanistan they are half ass backwards I'm sorry man is midevil times over there how many times you go there I went there once and we uh we were actually there when the big Prison Break happened
that kind of changed the momentum of the war they they had this big inside job where 300 extreme got out and it kind of changed it and we couldn't leave right off the bat because of the whole thing but it happened while you were there yeah whoa what that feel like it was scary man I mean it was scary things but you know it's like if I do Usos man I would prefer to go into a war zone and entertain the troops I just they're very appreciative and you feel like you're doing something for them so I'd rather go into that than go I've done bases on like uh Guam where it just there's no and I'm glad there's no war going on there but it's just like they're just a base and they're okay with it but they're like yeah whatever you know but you go into some we went to a base called The Alamo because it was surrounded by locals man and they were so thankful I mean they were totally appre every joke just was this giant Death Jam laugh wow boom boom boom just huge laughter man I would much rather do that wow that's really interesting you still do it you still go over there just did one we went into Bahrain wow where like all the missiles are case Iran decides to you know get a little crazy well that's the uh that's the place where Amber Lion uh got fired from CNN or left CNN because of she uh did this detailed report on Bahrain and they turned into like a tourist piece like you should visit Bahrain beautiful downtown Bahrain it's weird when you go to all these places how much American culture is everywhere you know Aaron Kar used to have a joke about that about how um you know like he go to the middle Le do entertaining they be like America is a paper tiger you know but what do you want do you want KFC you want TJ Friday and it's true you go there all of our stuff is everywhere yeah those big corporations McDonald's Subways uh Little Caesars I mean who the [ __ ] where's a little [ __ ] Caesars it's in Bahrain dude do you know that um um Subway is the biggest chain in the world now bigger than McDonald's surpassed it yep isn't that incredible yeah man I mean like that fake meat bro is it fake oh yeah I mean well alleged I no it's real meat get out of here I mean you can eat it what what's me what's I hear it's processed of course it's processed yeah well if you want it
preserved I love Subway by the way I don't want this to be like a anti- Subway thing I eat that thing all day buffalo chicken till I die I was in um chich chinita uh going to the to see the Mayan pyramids and we passed by this huge sign for Coca-Cola a big billboard in theun J Le for Coca-Cola I was like this is so weird right Coca-Cola in the jungle it's really strange well there was a whole thing that McDonald's Had expanded as far as it could expand that you know like these these uh fast food chains they make as much money on selling franchises as they do on selling burgers and the one thing was that they they had expanded everywhere they can they can't expand anywhere else yeah there probably was no more spots where they could be was viable but Subway had a new Niche people wanted to get get thin like Jared yep I just weird cuz like in LA like they they open they it's either chases Chipotle or Starbucks there they someday they'll open a Chipotle in a Chase bank that's in a Starbucks there's so many but the minute I leave LA and I go somewhere I'm like where the Starbucks you told me that um when you were in Afghanistan they have man love Thursday man love Thursdays dude is that real yes they you saw it well I didn't watch guys go butt [ __ ] in the mountains no I didn't people told you Instagram that [ __ ] did people tell you about it oh yeah ask anybody who was on tour in who who was on duty in Afghanistan ask him about man love Thursday they be like hey how'd you know about that it's only Thursdays though I guess Thursdays but [ __ ] Thursdays so what does it mean Thursday everyone's allowed to be gay no it's they don't see it as gay they see it as like they see women are for procreation men are for fun is that really true according to what I was told over there and you can go into the mountains and they just and they butt [ __ ] each other and they're dirty too I mean just just the idea of butt [ __ ] that was a harsh dirty dude I mean like they dude I mean they tried to build like they tried to build these things for the uh pedestrians to walk up over the the road like a walkover they would just go in there and take dumps and then leave they didn't even use it to as a walkover like they do in Vegas you know when you're walking on Las Vegas Boulevard they have
those pedestrian walkovers there's an article about it online line it says Afghanistan's male soldiers are having sex with other guys but don't call them homos well there was also something where like uh they were like their soldiers they would have a young boy who would have to service everybody and they had to tell the soldiers don't get upset about that what yeah don't get involved that's their custom whoa well we know their custom is that the young girl that died she was sold away to marriage she was 8 years old she died after having sex with the guy let's listen to this Afghanistan's well the the article is in uh query um free of an agenda except that gay one queerty.com quer like instead of quty query how how excited were they when they got that domain we got it as I love I love the title to free ofenda rest while you read this yeah yeah yeah go ahead um and it's talking about uh it says Afghanistan's male s soldiers have a sex have sex with other guys but don't call them homos and it says it's really interesting it says America's gay soldiers have a unique struggle in their hands whether to hide or be open about their sexuality but Afghanistan's gay soldiers have a different battle despite regularly having sex with other men and shunning women many of these male soldiers refuse to identify as gay which can get in the way of say preventing STDs you need only watch the CNN clip below where three gay American troops speak of the need to to repeal don't ask don't tell which it has been repealed now I believe to understand the difficulties of being gay in the US Armed Forces let's see how old this article is this from man love Thursdays has its own post on Urban Dictionary it's uh the article doesn't say where it's from here unfortunately doesn't say what year so it's before don't ask don't tell was repelled so I don't know H repealed rather um for these Afghan soldiers however having sex regularly with other men is no big deal just don't call them gay an unclassified study from military Research Unit in southern Afghanistan that's a funny statement an unclassified study from a military Research Unit in southern Afghanistan that's looking into gay sex details how
homosexual behavior is unusually common amongst men among men in the large ethnic group known as pasun p a tuu n's pastons although they seem to be in complete denial about it what's a new unclassified study of pasun meant oh that's that's what the new uh unclassified study revealed these men admire other men physically have sexual relationships with boys and shun women both socially and sexually yet they completely reject the label of homosexual the research was conducted as part of a long-standing effort to better understand Afghan culture and improve West W interaction with the local people when you read [ __ ] like that and you read that like people are dying over there you know and you think like the idea that they're going to try to change this you think about what they do where they marry off eight-year-old girls cut women's noses off they they do this kind of [ __ ] pretend they're not gay while they're [ __ ] each other and be homophobic at the same time it's absolute Madness it's it's reality your way right away it's like custommade reality this is what they do this is how they figure it out their way around it the pashon men interpret the Islamic prohibition on homosexuality to mean they cannot love another man but it doesn't mean they can't use men for sexual gratification what an interesting little gray area they found yeah there's a little fine print right there it's sort of like prostitution is illegal but if a girl is naked at a strip club and she rides your dick and you come in your pants that's all good if if prostitution is illegal but if I buy you dinner and then we have sex I spend the same amount of money on the date and then I have sex with you it's perfectly legal or pay their their housing or something along those lines and just keep them on the payroll like that was there was a um Kathleen Madigan was here and she uh lives in this certain part of Hollywood where they have all these like really nice Bungalows really cool small houses and she was like that's where the studio heads used to keep their Mistresses they used to like put them up in these houses was like so common that there was a whole neighborhood of hilarious stop and think about that I mean if prostitution is legal what's going on there well there's that whole website uh sugar
daddy.com you know where a lot of uh you know young female ladies from Hollywood are on and it's guys with money looking for you know companionship it's a good place to get poisoned what do you mean if I was a a chick that was looking to steal a guy's money and poison him that's where I'd look go uh got to find your sugar dad the oldfashioned way getting a sugar dad on the internet Jesus Christ whatever happened old fashion what ever happened to old fashioned interaction you kids your Tinder two people look at each other in the eyes to know each other having an understanding person to person it's really Primal now either you're pretty or you're not not just looking online not just being some creepy old dude with a credit card going I'm willing to S away I will buy your rent as long as it's less than $2,000 a month right I don't have time for a woman in my life I'm 72 years old I like my balls licked well I was in uh when I was in uh uh Diego Garcia which is this ran this small island in the middle of nowhere and it's it's a military Island there's an island named Diego Garcia and they don't know who that dude is that's ridiculous did they just run out of names no it was that when they got there that's the name of the the the the island who named it they don't whoever was there before them it was some Portuguese explorer who just randomly found this island that's hilarious what a [ __ ] he named it after himself yeah well I guess isn't that the idea of America Amero vuchi yeah I mean I don't allegedly I don't know anything about that but there's a Snopes thing on that I should probably look that up America Snopes America can I think that's a one of those things that's not true but everybody always says it like um uh like one of them is that they used to burn witches did you know they didn't really used to burn witches they didn't burn witches no they didn't burn witches man what' they do they just hang them Jesus the burning of the witch thing is like this really common thing that's in our heads that they used to do apparently when the only time uh named um the only time they did it on a regular basis was uh religious times during Europe during uh like I think like during the Martin Luther time I
think they did a lot of burning they burned people didn't believe or just were different or if you didn't like somebody you just call him a witch and then to prove they're not a witch yeah uh which is completely random yeah that's hilarious that you would have to prove that you're not a witch like didn't they do stuff where it's like if you like there's no way to prove you wer it's like they dunk you in water and if you lived you were witch if you died you weren't a witch so it's like you're damned if you do you're damned if you don't America V Pei America God I need to get out in the sun I keep looking at this man I need sunlight look at this fat vampire look at this just lose some white the naming of you said it first I'm a human being the [ __ ] you said it first I have feelings um snopes.com slow as [ __ ] slopes dcom slow as shitty ass website for all your shitty ass information you need it's sls.com okay apparently this's another story oh God this is too confusing I'm not going to read all this this is a TLD drr too long didn't read I love that when I see that on posts too long didn't read you hear they found water on Mars what yeah water discovered on Mars by the Rover the rover Curiosity substantial discovery made after analysis of soil samples from the planet surfaces has uncovered water isn't that the whole thing about the Behold The Pale Horse that they say we're going to go and colonize Mars well I think if people stay alive for the next thousand years we will I think it's going to take a long [ __ ] time and some crazy [ __ ] is going to have to go over there first there's going to be some people that will go over there and it's a goddamn oneway trip man you're never coming back you're going to go over there once and that's it that's where you live now are you ready go and if that doesn't work or you run out of air you're going to suffocate via satellite we're going to get to watch it all on our phones and that will be on Liv le.com oh quickly it'll be live streaming the guy will die on TV just like the Challenger accident I mean there's no way you're going to be able to stop it no one's going to it's not the the odds of of them being able to
get all the way to Mars and not a couple of people not make it it's crazy well dude when they build a Las Vegas Hotel Casino they they average in three people dying do they really yeah they assume three people are going to die along the way of building this hotel that's cuz those three people didn't know how to keep the [ __ ] mouth shut yeah I mean I'm sure you they take care of a couple people I'm sure like they're building highrises someone slips Falls call it today so I can't imagine how many people are going to lose on the way to Mars well I think I really like the idea of uh sending robots you know the way they're doing it like with this curiosity they can learn a lot of [ __ ] they can they can do analytics on soil they can send back photographs and information they can do a lot of things without risking people's lives but as long as this human being is just going to be the one person that wants to be the first guy that lands on Mars he wants to be the Neo Armstrong of Mars there's always going to be one of those guys there's always somebody yeah who wants to be the Explorer sometimes man you get lost in the whole I would have to say that I think if they're going to do that the first thing they would probably do is try that out on the moon try some like terraforming go over there try to build some sort of structure they've even figured out uh how to make walls using the sand and the the the the the dirt of the Moon in a 3D printer they figured out a way to to bond this have you seen that Jamie this photos of it yeah 3D printer used to build base on the moon yeah they've devised this uh 3D printer that they uh think they can trans transport printer to build base of mo didn't they want to send like a a married couple into space of course and then they halfway there she wasn't she gives up doesn't have sex with him anymore and he gozy she disappears he goes all Melissa Gorga on him and then he he uh he winds up taking her just like uh that guy in the book The guy gave him some [ __ ] advice housewi of New Jersey he rapes her on TV um yeah building a lunar base with 3D printing this is uh what the planning on doing it there's uh there's actually uh an animated thing uh we can see the the the mo the Rover Mo move the Rover move but look at
these photos see this this plan see that photo the honeycomb this is um the 3D printer um is going to be able to make these walls that are essentially just some compound that's created with the soil wow yeah it's a one that right there that photograph is a 1.5 ton building block that was produced as a demonstration of the 3D printing techniques using simulated lunar soil so they did it with something that would be like you know similar in consistency and the design is based on a hollow closed cell structure reminiscent of bird bones to give a good combination of strength and weight so they would fly this printer up there and then just start building these walls with this printer out of the the lunar soil man my printer always jams that' suck if you were up there and your printer jams yeah Epson send you some new [ __ ] can you send me some yeah some can we get some it up here yeah I need to clean my heads or something I'm out the blue well the idea is that you know they'll be able to they know that they can fly [ __ ] up there that can do this so they could actually send some sort of Rover type robotic thing up there with these printers and build these houses before we even get there Jesus they just flew um I think it was an F16 they flew it as a um as a drone they successfully flew it and landed it and they achieved supersonic speeds all done completely as a drone this is for the first time where land at Air Force Base wow yeah they just did this this was uh here I'll pull this up when do the robots take over well it's getting close that's my point uh what about combining with robots are we gonna I'm going to miss all the cool [ __ ] I'm born too early or too late no no no you're going to be fine F-16 drone yeah an F16 man there's a video of it too pull it up dude uh F-16 drone fighter jet flies without pilot it's [ __ ] incredible man my point is if they can do this they can also get some I mean they can get the Rover to land on the moon they can also or on on Mars they can also get one to land on the moon they can get something more complex now because the RO R is a few year old few years old now and you know who knows what they're going to have 10 years from now they're going to have like look at this this is a [ __ ]
jet flying with no one in it they're doing it all completely remote look at that that's insane that is is that good or bad for us not good right not good I'm just that dude that's bad for humans it's bad for mankind well these things are going to start thinking I mean right now it's just stupid but one day they're going to make one that's really [ __ ] smart and it's going to be like the Cars cartoon where they talk to each other I don't want to bomb Iraq do you want to bomb Iraq let's [ __ ] bomb DC this ends bad for mankind I mean do these guys watch Sci-Fi flicks how do you how do you call yourself a test pilot if you're on the ground yeah guys it says test pilot this is why I became an engineer this program is the to me the epitome of my career this is what it was all about I mean to be able to take this airplane enslaving mankind yeah our robot overlords that's what it's all about God yeah you know when the opening sequence of uh the Terminator movie the first one where the Terminators are walking around you see them stepping on skulls and stuff you see those giant flying robot like that's drones man yeah 100% it's it's real it's all coming I mean whether or not they're actually going to be against humanity my feeling is robots unless we program them to have survival instincts won't so they won't see us as a threat and you know I don't think they'll have any biological instincts at all like the the need to survive they need to stay on or be on or off I I don't think unless we program them with those ideas they're not going to have those ideas naturally I don't think those are natural ideas I think those ideas have been sort of like they've grown inside the human animal from a long long life on this planet in various forms from single cell to multicell to mammal to you know ape to whatever the [ __ ] we are now it's a long ass process how long till chicks start banging robots we with robots real quick they're already banging robots they already have like cians and dildos and men just got the fleslight really recently yeah and the Fleshlight is totally manual you got to grab it stick it you got to do it all yourself women have things that [ __ ] them yeah they have things that will [ __ ] them they have vibrators now in CVS women can buy vibrators and put it on and drive home
yeah they have those back massagers things big round rubber ball back massager thing just robots beating the bean doing nothing chilling out it's going to happen there's no way you're going to be able to stop that going to come home your girlfriend's getting shagged by a Transformer you're [ __ ] yeah if robots were are created by women that's where we're going to be really [ __ ] because they're going to make robots that are exactly the way they want a man just sensitive with big dicks just weak [ __ ] just weak [ __ ] that listen to them skinny jeans I mean if you could allow if you could allow like really angry feminists to program robots to be any male robot to be anything they want it to be how would those guys be would they be really sensitive and just fun to be around and really nice or would they just be slaves Meek little emo pale alt Comics ah guys that just stand there in front of the microphone and don't even move and uh just mentally easily to push around all Comics male feminist Comics they're just the male feminist it's just I don't know why it's all it's everywhere it's Al because what you said earlier is that people don't want to they don't want to catch up they just want to stay stay lazy and they want everybody else to slow down too yeah it's it's dumbing the masses it's not even dumb a lot of all people aren't dumb they're very they're very smart they're just weak I think sometimes clever is more important than funny sometimes well it's they're trying to play to the back of the room a lot there's a lot of that you know I think you see that a lot and like oh I I'll watch them like wow that's clever but I'm not necessarily going haaha out loud well we had um Matt Voltron in here and he was talking about how that kind of like [ __ ] him up in his career because he used to write for the back of the room and he wasn't writing for the crowd and then he realized once he started going on the road like oh I [ __ ] up like I'm writing for a bunch of people that are like cynical and they've heard every joke in the book and they don't really want to see comedy anymore they want to see something something unexpected yeah animal attack well they want to see something unexpected they
want to see something that's not not really standup comedy they want it to be like ironic but when you you know when you pay money to go on the road you're in Buffalo and you got to do standup at a comedy club that ironic [ __ ] ain't going to fly no and so they you know he was saying that he found that that I was like oh I was writing jokes for comedians I wasn't even writing for humans well it gets interesting when you do every level of Comedy like open mics you're playing the comedian so you kind of got to learn that was a big thing for me cuz I did the first five years I did standup comedy I just played bars I mean just like Roadhouse bars like you start in Vegas yeah just this crazy bar I couldn't at that time they weren't letting locals play the comedy clubs because they could just fly out comics from uh La so we had to make make our own scene and I would just find crazy bar gigs like anywhere I could perform like we would go in between bands like you'd have band like hard metal bands playing Bring Out The Comedians and I would have to go out and just deal with all the heckers shut them up and then bring the other comedians on we would take any kind of gig like that now when when you started what year was it oh like uh I've been doing it for like 16 years so like 90 96 97 maybe what whatever so 9697 what was the scene like in Vegas like how did you start out dead how how would you start out if you're if when I started there was one Open Mic every other week in the entire city there was nothing nobody had been working it been doing it and I was like I got to get up so I I just decided to create my own comedy gigs and what I would do is I would just every night I would find a dead bar I'm like your Bar's dead let me have the night and I'll get it going and I would create an open mic in which I would host and I would do you know get the crowd going deal with the hecklers bring up The Comedians and then I had my own uh uh improv troop which we started and we got into uh all the Station Casinos so I had open mics going one place my improv troop performing another place and that's just how I uh perform forever that's very smart man that's very Genius of you it's kind of how I am right now it's like I I have a certain certain
style of Comedy I like to do so I create my own environment in which to do it at which is you know the naughty show or the you know uh comedy rap battles and stuff like that I just that's why I enjoy doing so I create a brand that's very smart of you though it shows a lot of get up and go that you got all right you know what someone's got to do this let me put this [ __ ] together I wish I could play a little more ball too I I'm so focused on creating my own things I'd like to do just the normal stuff too but I really enjoy these shows like it's what I enjoy doing that's why I'm very passionate about there's nothing wrong with that but what I'm saying is it showed a lot of get up and go on your part to like start these nights and put these things together and have comedy shows where there was nothing else there going a lot of other people go ah I can't do it in the city you know you you that was a very ingenious sort of a way work around you know very industrious of you like said there's a way around this [ __ ] I go if no will book me and there's no shows I got to make my own shows I was just you know I was very blessed that growing up uh we didn't physically fight with each other we just racked each other we were like verbally vicious all my buddies in high school all of them were like victims of divorce their P they were they were kind of hurt children in a weird way they like they they had a weird uh family they were they came from loving parents but the parents were divorced it affected them they were kind of like her children so we were vicious with each other I remember like moments where we go to a local pizzeria pontillo and whoever got sat in the wrong seat you were going to get pounded on all night by everybody and they wouldn't let you up from the booth and it would just boom boom boom and you would just get vicious and I just learned to not take a personal and just hit back and it's like to this day that's really helped me with hecklers I just you know I don't really think I just react now so uh yeah I mean I I I had always had something like that just where I came from do you find though that when you're dealing with an actual polite crowd that wants to hear material they you're like hey how come no one's throwing anything at me how come it is weird well that I have to
learn to tell them how much I like them too that was my um transition I I had a problem with that when I went from bars to do nicer clubs comedy clubs it's a different transition I was ready I was like not ready but I was used to combat comedy you know like I I had a I didn't do what you did I didn't I never created my own thing but I did a lot of bars we did did a lot of bars but it was they were already created for me I I got super lucky I I came along in Boston in the 80s there was so much work in town that you never had to leave you could be a full-time professional comedian and work from 1 to two and a half three hours drive at the most for gigs and you would work almost every weekend every day I mean you could do whatever you wanted there was so much work during the weekdays mostly free stuff you know where where you would take you know take your time and get tight but then on the weekends and it's a lot of week gigs there's just you know drive to New Hampshire Drive to uh Western Massachusetts drive to Maine drive to alboro drive to Marboro drive to here and you got used to these really [ __ ] terrible places Standing On Top of milk crates and nobody's paying attention the hockey games on I went to Montreal before I ever played a comedy a real I before I was being I was a regular at any Comedy Club when you say Montreal you mean the festival Festival I I got I just came to LA and I was just a ball of fire and I got picked up and they brought me to Montreal I didn't even know what it was at the time the only time I'd ever played at the club was about a year before I'd open for Nick depalo at the C uh at the the Riviera which was booked by the guy who eventually went on to be uh on The Sopranos Steve Shara Bobby yeah the big guy so that was the first time I ever played Comedy Club I never really played great guy was awesome you know man once in a while I rub people the wrong way I don't know why just people in Authority I I make them nervous but there's certain people that they were that were notorious for being prickly that were always really really nice to me like Dan myrr in Tempe Improv you'd always hear these crazy stories about him but he was the nicest dude to me I was so thankful for it and Steve Sho was the same way like this guy who was a Not Tourist
thorny dude nice dude but could you know bust some balls always really nice to me sharpa is just fair if you were a douche he would just call you on it that was the what what it was you're not a [ __ ] he's fine with you I never had a problem with you but he's a great guy was just really nice to me gave me spots made me feel like I had a chance in something that was the first comic to ever get booked twice at his Club out of Vegas at the time and it was just such an amazing feeling and working with the paollo was just like who I'd always looked up to it was real f it was great because I was performing with him and he was having a fight with his girlfriend at the time I mean a full-on like brawl like before he got on stage be screaming at each other go up on perform get off stage tell me what a great job I did and then go back to arguing with his girlfriend I got to get him on he's he's got something coming up we actually been going back and forth with the email whenever he's uh in La again we'll definitely have one of the funniest dudes man had some of the funniest jokes I I've ever heard what the [ __ ] happened with him and Ry Lang do you do you know what happened there no I was just told that you know he want to talk more Sports and already wanted to just shoot the [ __ ] you know that's all all I heard that doesn't seem right seems like R loves talking Sports too and but you know what you can't like I don't know who knows I have a really great Sports podcast too called punch drug Sports you don't like my sports podcast kidding you can't say I have a really great anything I do well when you say I have a really great show I do love it I love it I do with Ari and Jason TBO and that's kind of like people like it it's a sports podcast but they like when we talk about anything but Sports it's like really weird oh you know people like talking about anything man they like people that talk about [ __ ] that's interesting and sometimes if you just had a sports podcast talked only about sports it wouldn't be as exciting as a sports podcast that mostly talked about sports right but if some other [ __ ] came up and it was interesting and you go ah we can't talk about that that's the beautiful thing about having a podcast nobody could tell you that you can do whatever the [ __ ] you want whenever you
want to do it yeah I love it I love the uncensored of a podcast I love it I love podcasting I love podcasting almost as much as I love doing standup and I love doing standup but I love talking I'm with you 100% like just I agree with you saying my opinion I have opinions you know and some people get really mad at me they get so angry that they don't I don't share their opinion but it's just like I'm just talking that's always going to be the case man there's always going to be a bunch of people that get pretty pissed off they do they get angry with me people are real rigid in their ideas people are rigid in their ideas Sam trimpley just in the middle of nowhere it's like and the things agree with you the things they say to me clim change is Notre right it's just the things they say to [ __ ] [ __ ] they're so vicious I think a lot of times they just want you to respond that's exactly what they want but I would never you know back when I was growing up and I I met somebody famous I would never be vicious to them like that can you even imagine though what it's like growing up in this age where anybody you like you just reach out and tell them they're a [ __ ] well it makes nobody famous there's nothing top you know there's no C that's not true it certainly makes people that other people talk about a lot you know if you're puffed daddy you're famous no matter what area you live in the difference is you're no longer Beyond reproach someone can get a hold of you and go your [ __ ] album sucked to big fat [ __ ] pile of [ __ ] [ __ ] you you queer you can say whatever you want I said that about em& I didn't say he sucked I go I watched him on that like uh college football halftime show and he I go well looks like Eminem's back on drugs so the new uh album should Rock I just tweeted that and dude every fake Eminem Twitter account just started blasting me like five or six of them just started calling me out and it was just some random I I I didn't even hashtag Eminem and I just and it wasn't even Eminem that said that it was just random people fake fake M&M's Eminem fans well you put out a little hate you got a little I didn't I don't think that was hey I said it was going to be a great elbow they don't want to think that it's the uh alcohol or the drugs that fuel
the creativity s and I don't think it does either gen I think that you I think it's gen you just happen to be [ __ ] up when you came up with the idea have you seen well you've seen the video folks who haven't seen the video Jamie pull up that just the video of Eminem tripping so people could say like Sam tripley wasn't talking out of school I mean he like went way out of his way to look really [ __ ] up I mean he was working it what are you talking about the the video of Eminem where the one that you commented on was like yeah dude yeah that's that's like the Molly is hitting well he leaned forward and everything look at him like come on I've been there his mouth is wide open he's leaning forward like severely leaning forward he's rolling his eyes side to side that's I've been there I've been on shrooms I've had that moment where I'm like is this real life is this his video they're playing they probably played a cut for it he was joking around obviously joking around a lot uh maybe I don't even care I'm not judging he's barely paying attention this some old dude with a [ __ ] suit oner who's great he's just like one of those old guys who just doesn't give a [ __ ] one those old football guys sometimes you go to yeah now he's done he's done now now he's back to normal yeah man you put some hate out there Sam tripley got it back you say it's hate I say it's love okay I ain't judging who am I the judge I've done my party in my day well the point is that there's a lot of hate out there on online well there's a lot of emotional reaction people want you to think their way they want you to like what what they like they don't digest they just see a word and they just react to it you see Adam Lavine and uh Lady Gaga got into a little Twitter beef and Lady Gaga owned him really with one line cuz uh Adam Lavine was like criticizing some of her work like you know hey I'm proud he was like I'm proud to do pop music but this is blah blah blah blah blah and so you know something about art and so she comes back on she goes oh look what we got here guys it's the art police yeah oh oh guys the art police is here come on look at his quote I unabashedly love writing and Performing pop music for both myself and in capital letters everyone around me
that's it it doesn't need any extra sauce shut your hole pretty man um shut your dumb hole that's really funny man that's really funny she own some be with couple people Hilton and Madonna the three of them going oh look at his his quote scroll that up what did he say me thinks those do protest too much yikes shut thou dust protest too much shut up dude really by the way I'm not an artist I sing in a band and I make music with my friends oh my God yeah that's a self-inflicted wound right there well not only that what he just said I'm not an artist if you're not an artist you need to shut the [ __ ] up if you're singing and you're not an artist what are you doing and I don't feel like she protested too much how how is that though how is he not an artist like what you are we pretending you pretending that singing is not an art like why you pretend are you being self-deprecating there I just feel like he's [ __ ] on himself you just basically say you're what you're doing is not artistic it's foolish self-deprecate deprecating behavior is what it is deprecation oh man put out that one album where he just had his he just broke up with his girlfriend obviously she ripped his heart out and it was a pretty good album but the whole album was about her her B basically breaking her heart man breaking his heart yeah the other way around whatever he's a dick this this just that that's silly why do you give a [ __ ] what Lady Gaga sings you know I know why white guys you know it goes back I shouldn't say he's a dick maybe he's a nice guy who's drunk maybe [ __ ] up maybe he's in a bad frame of mine we I don't know the guy just you know goes back your joke about all these sensitive White Band guys there's a lot of that out there a lot of those guys that get position too there's also the thing that happens when people get into that sort of position of prominence where they feel like they have to stand up you know for what's their idea of what's right you know so him [ __ ] all over her music like come on I unabashedly perform pop music for myself and in capital letters everyone around me like come on just that sentence shows me your not that bright that's a not very bright sentence Like Comics who call out other comics on like material
and stuff like that oh you can't do that those kind of jokes yeah what do you give a [ __ ] I've never called out anybody for anything other than stealing I that's why I agree wholeheartedly brother that's the only people I got problems with we both have friends that suck we know them we know those there's a few that hang around the store they've always been terrible they're always going to be terrible I hug them every time I see him I don't care right you know as long as you're nice as long as you're nice off stage I don't care how you are yeah I mean as long as you don't get crazy and want to ask me advice or you know try to get me to rewrite your jokes get alone that there are some bad conversations that I've been how how do you think I should fix that bit like oh come on man this is not even possible I can't help you here yeah it's hard to tag somebody else's stuff not just hard to tag how do you make something funny that's not funny at all right and someone comes up to you and I'm having a hard time with this this bit where I eat babies I can't [ __ ] clean it up just the problem with me is I've watched so much comedy in my life can see when the tricks are coming there's tricks Comics do some tricks not judging them it's just the way it is it's Jedi Mind Tricks it's whatever I can I've watched it for so long I if I know your act before you walk on stage I just can't watch Comedy it's very hard for me to watch Comedy right now unless it's someone I've heard a lot about saying that I don't know what the [ __ ] you're talking about I got to be honest with you you're you're saying that and I experience just the opposite I just can't watch I I think you're around a bunch of shitty comedians maybe that's it maybe I need to find a a funnier group of people but that's no really you're you're you're at the you're doing some shows like some of those late night spots at the store or whatever or Open Mic nights in certain places you can get around a bunch of Tricks right you're not supposed to watch those you know when those guys are there you get out of the room I just can't watch Comedy that's tried if Joey Diaz is going on stage you're going to watch I can watch him but those are the like the the the Legends you know but it's very hard for me and I'm not saying I'm anything better than anybody I just
I'm just a dude doing standup but it's just I can't watch well just don't watch the bad stuff dude it's not that difficult I wish theyd tell me when they're bad so I don't walk in and see it yeah well you're going to get that people are trying [ __ ] out they're trying to get good you're going to get bad yeah don't dwell on it though don't dwell on it don't be all like [ __ ] Adam whatever his name is who get all Lady Gaga with people Adam what's his name Adam Lavine pretty pretty bastard love to sing for the ladies it's tough to go through life being that handsome and not just get a delusional sense of your own intelligence people like than you so much beautiful cheekbones just girls skin perfect amount of everything you want just can cross it off your list all your sexual must do you got mhm God must be nice or not it's not natural you know you might maybe better off being a chimp better off doing an old school primate style that that trickery of like being on a screen singing a certain song having them all going crazy and throwing panties at you that shit's unnatural when it comes down to it he's got weak jeans look at the [ __ ] he's writing little pee brain well do you think he's right it because that that's how he feels or he knows that's what we'll sell that statement that he said is a dumb statement the whole thing about un aashley make pop music that's just something a dummy says like I'm not saying he's dumb I mean he might not be dumb Maybe It's just tough to get your your your expression out 140 characters yeah but what do you get and it is it is you know it's way easier to do this I mean think about some of the [ __ ] that I've said so far that I had to clarify in just the explaining myself about him you're great with foot you explain something you have footnotes leave Lady Gaga alone first of all this is what you should pay attention to with Lady Gaga her tremendous ass that should be it all you're paying attention to pull those pictures up of Lady Gaga's ass from the Grammys and listen to me Mr LaVine if you're concentrating on her singing you're doing it wrong okay what you should be concentrating on is the fact that her and Miley Cyrus had an old school South Park [ __ ] off on the Video Music Awards and Lady Gaga dominated her she dominated her without any of the
tongue sticking out without any the stupid [ __ ] with the foam finger just with this tremendous body she has pictures you get it pull that [ __ ] up look at this dude come on with your bad self look at her ass give us a full photo where you see there's some great pictures where you see the whole body her whole her body's in tremendous shape man that is a great ass oh my god dude her body's insane I breathe through it she wins her body wins I just want to breathe why are you talking about her singing if you don't like it don't like it but what you know why would you complain about that you know I guess it was like some music video she did that showed various art styles or something I don't know what the [ __ ] it was all about who cares look at her ass and that's the the comparison between that is hilarious it's rude M You Know M it's I was talking about on stage she got [ __ ] you money and she that's a [ __ ] you thing that's all that was that whole thing was a she probably just threw it together she's young you know you shouldn't be that famous when you're that young you're 20 years old you're trying to find yourself and you're doing it on television like that and someone allows you to put that together and do that on television or maybe she likes it who knows maybe when you're 20 that's cool I love [ __ ] I love her big dumb teeth you remember when there was things that you liked when you were young you know there was certain comic books you like looked forward to and if you had to read them today you'd be like what is this piece of [ __ ] but back then you loved him maybe that's what it's like for her she's 20 years old right what she thinks is awesome be that 100% she might like watch that every night and go I [ __ ] knocked it out of the park I was watching Ghostbusters the other day it's still a great movie but I remember when I was a kid watching it how my mind was blown at how funny that movie was wow that's a different time though there's a thing about comedy that comedy has a very short sort of Lifetime to it and then if you go back and try to watch some comedies from a long time ago a lot of them don't hold up at all you could see like even blaz Saddles which is a great [ __ ] movie you go back and watch it today and compare it to something like did you see the World's
End yes [ __ ] hilarious it was a awesome movie it was a great movie here's my thing about the world's end I think that put the end the whole rape joke controversy because they do a five minute bit in there about a rape joke and nobody say anything so I'm like okay that's cool it was hilarious it was five minutes on whether wait a minute where where oh is that the one with the bar or is that the one where uh with Seth Rogan Oh I thought you talk about the one with Seth Rogan Jesus Christ like what did you see that one what was the this is the end this is the end that was hilarious totally different movie did you not like that one I didn't see that one I saw the world very funny The World's End is the robots in the pub I haven't seen it I'll go watch it [ __ ] Jesus I'll come back J with a book report on it well those guys are funny walk the yeah Dum and Dumber they're doing a reunion 20 years later yeah that's not necessary that's a mistake he beat out uh at the Emmys he beat out uh Breaking Bad who did uh Jeff Daniels yeah his character on Newsroom Newsroom oh that's right that's the same guy it's hard to remember that that's the same guy when you see him there with his silly look on his face I don't want to watch this who knows though is it the Fairly Brothers still probably yeah we have to look up Don't probably be me there's a [ __ ] computer in front of you Google it son I'm pretty sure it is probably in 2013 yes sir yes it is well if it's the Fairley brothers that makes sense cuz they they know what the [ __ ] they're doing that's their movie maybe they can do it again they were supposed to put out the movie but then that magician movie didn't do that well so they pulled funding on it even though that magician movie was hilarious I heard that Bert Wonderstone is hilarious it's hilarious dude I heard it's really [ __ ] funny and I watched it on the flight the international flight where they give you like 90 movies to watch and that was one of it and I'm like this is really funny Why didn't it go what happened I D dude who knows I don't know how they Market it I don't know man what's his face Steve is a great great comedic actor I don't know how well some of his movies do but he's a great actor yeah that movie for whatever reason just didn't
seem appealing when it was out in the movie theaters to me either maybe was the way it was marketed or something maybe I don't know man but it was and let me tell you Jim Carrey murders it in that he's so good in that movie is he the magician he's like the bad guy magician in it oh all right I need to go see that it was great man it was a great movie I watched on a plane but I didn't watch all of it but I was howling I couldn't watch all of it though great and he was great uh Jim Carrey was great in uh in uh kickass 2 that's good I love kickass kickass one was one of the best movies I've ever watched in terms of see kickass 2 it's good I did it's good it's number one is a little better but that that's hard to beat because it's such a great movie yeah but that little girl in that movie is so smart there's some of these these child actors you're like man how do they grasp that kind of emotion cuz they're brilliant they're like they all go on like Harvard and Yale to school and stuff like that cuz they're way smarter than the average kid at that age well I don't think it's hard to act man I think there's a lot of kids out there that can do it I honestly do yeah but I I think there's some kids you see that they're just playing a kid and then you see there's some who like yeah have the moment that girl who's also in let me in be Carri too she's incredible yeah she's really good but I don't think that it's that hard to do okay I'll give you that I did a movie this year and it was like I'm like oh I should have done this before but it's like yeah but this some of these kids are just able to just nail this very adult motion yeah no they definitely are especially if it's really well written and they're really smart I met a Dakota Fanning is that her name really young girl once very very smart kid very smart she's another one that was a a brilliant young actress but I always get weirded out by the idea because I like Miley Cyrus I think everybody should be able to do whatever the [ __ ] they want to do however are you sure that's what you want and are you sure you're ready to handle the repercussions of that cuz being a Miley Cyrus has got to be mind bogglingly difficult to not go crazy if you look at all of them everyone who ever was a young Superstar how many of them made it through Ron Howard Jody Foster and who
knows who knows how crazy they really are they they seem awesome I mean Ron Howard seems totally together so does jod Foster but think about how many of them went Loco almost all the rest of I know a couple I know them personally I know a couple of them that were famous when they were young and they're [ __ ] crazy man C it's all wired wrong just like moving around and working but you're like oh this is where that is and that's where this is and how'd you get wired with that oh you've been famous since you were five so that never even grew oh wow that's a Justin Bieber situation you know it's like just seems like he's got everything and I mean his dad's his manager but what can dad tell him I I don't think when you could have outside influences that's when things start going real really crazy yeah there's no doubt about that there's no doubt that if you are a regular human being like we all are and you don't slowly get inoculated to the idea of Fame you don't develop some character you don't get older you don't get wiser you you just jump into it from the time you're a baby your reality is going to be so much different than everyone else's it's going to be impossible animal that's what you are you become like a wild animal you're not taught you know proper way to act you're not trained in the proper way of being in society so you're just reacting however you want to react well I don't know about that but you don't develop character the way a normal person does being accepted or rejected learning how to communicate people how you treat people yeah you're going to be famous from the jump and that just that alone that having that royalty thing being so much more look at Michael Jackson look at you know how many of them had to be come that way Donnie Osman might be the most normal yeah but because he's still had his family I mean still had Mormonism yeah keep it together had a bunch of people but then it's like Joe Jackson had some crazy kids come out but think about Michael Jackson I mean that Fame is beyond anything anyone will ever get to I mean he was the biggest thing in the planet he couldn't leave his house so every day he's like probably looking at himself in the mirror and just imagine if you looked at yourself in the mirror all day
every day it just you'd start nitpicking yourself yeah you would start [ __ ] with yourself especially if you started changing things about your face like your nose bleaching your skin just want to get your lips thinner yeah he did a lot of weird [ __ ] man I don't I wonder what he really did I wonder if ever will'll find out what were the full extent of the surgeries but he's the first guy in the history of Television film everything that we watched become like a freak like went from and I don't mean freak in a good way went from being this young boy who is just brilant talent to being this man who like hides and wants to be with children and has an amusement park and he's pale he's a white guy for no reason his nose is skinny his lips are skinny I mean his face changed so radically he might be the first guy that we've ever seen that has has done that the first person that we've ever seen that's grown from childhood to adult and become like this kind of crazy freak like that and everywhere you go there's cameras you can't go anywhere you can't do anything it I mean that's just too much Fame but the comparisons of his face when he first started and then what he became over the years and what he what he looked like before he died it's really really shocking first of all who the [ __ ] are these plastic surgeons how come nobody knows who these people are like we we know who the guy is who gave them the drugs that made him die but nobody knows who did all that work on them like that guy did a terrible disservice yes like what did you do like that guy that dudee needed a hug and you thinned his lips out you know you you gave him so many nose operations that his nose caved in like what kind of doctor says yes to that one who wants money I'm sure they just want to throw immense amount of cash at them do you have any photos see if you can pull any photos of like the before and aftering it's just um it's Madness what he's done to his body what he did to his face his eyes look at the size of his eyes when it was all over so strange it's so strange yeah he made himself look white well he he just did a lot of crazy [ __ ] to his nose his nose was so bad that they had to like graph skin over it it caved in it lost its support started
getting necrosis on his nose apparently too isn't that what the one girl from The Hills she did Heidi Montage she did so much plas surgery her nose was falling off I don't know is that that's [ __ ] dude that's not real uh I don't know I don't know is that true that's sad [ __ ] man it's sad [ __ ] when you pe see people start [ __ ] shooting things in their face shaving their faces up cutting their nose down how about cat lady that woman who got so much plastic surgery she looks like a cat and that's what starts happening yeah I think she started fixing that let's see let me see I think there was like something about cat lady fixing her face cat lady fix your [ __ ] face but there's a lot of ladies that I see like in Beverly Hills that look like Monsters yeah the duck lips are just like it's who who's who said that sexy duck lips yeah she's trying to fix it she's making it wow she was so pretty in the beginning man that's really sad it's just when you have that much money and you just get bored yeah look how look at that she was so pretty yeah and then you just start injecting this and shaving that and well I also think that the human mind is there's it's very possible for people to go crazy given the wrong circumstances given the wrong you know wrong motivations the wrong people in their life people can blow fuses they can blast screws out and they can go nutty and they might not even realize what they're doing while they're doing it like did you see that lady that my God the uh the lady that um wow is that really what she looked like she was hot no is that real wow that's so crazy there's a before and after of the cat lady where she was you know what's so funny no matter how much P surgery you get you can never remove the experience of life from your eyes you can always tell in the eyes how much stuff you've seen how much stuff you've been through it's always in the eyes you can't shave that off you can never get rid of the crazy either right the sh you can't unsee what you've seen yeah when the crazy's in the eyes you see that [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] people they're everywhere too there's a woman in h Korea that got addicted to plastic
surgery so she started injecting cooking oil into her face oh my god did you see that no I don't want to see it you don't want to see it it's it's sad though and she was a really pretty young girl and she just apparently it's just like anorexia just like bodybuilders that don't know how big they are there's we're susceptible we're suceptible to all sorts of weird variations human behavior yeah addictions and we're susceptible to going down these weird delusional paths where we don't see ourselves for what we look like yeah I'm with that with my fatness what do you see how do you see yourself I see myself as a sexy beast are you just a rock are you are you like bulky at all I don't know what it is about my home mirror but it lets makes me feel a lot better than this shot does well look how you're sitting though it's bad reling I'm relax what do you want me to go prop what do you want me go set up that's it that's not bad right there look how you sitting look pretty you know man I like everywhere but here this is just it and I got to start working that I do you don't work out at all I do I just run but I got to do more got to lift some weights I got to get over the pink and blue weights I got to get to the man weights you got to get to raw black metal the raw yeah the metal the blacks I got to get over that those pink weights aren't helping how old are you now Sam uh um I'm 40 you got to do it before it's too late while your body's still pumping good fluid it's it's slowing down you're going to get some sludge in your veins son got to keep moving you got because it's harder to do it when you're 40 than it is when you're 30 and harder when you're 41 than it is when you're 40 I know dude I know yeah baby keep are you the voice inside my head I am I'm trying to be please I need it you don't want me in there I'll make a recording for you it'll drive you crazy you throw that [ __ ] out of your head within first day like I no my left F was just skip and play over and over again do you think that that would be like a good product to sell me telling people what to do like listen you can [ __ ] do this like Fear Factor style I I completely you could sell the [ __ ] out of kick some [ __ ] ass and I'll I'll personalize it to your name Sam tripley today's the day you are the hero in the
movie of your own life it's time to get [ __ ] popping is know what motivational speakers do they just sell you tapes and just tell your to believe in yourself the way to do it right is to use a guy's name to make a a a real personal one and use their name if you really needed it most people don't need it most people like [ __ ] I don't need to hear you tell me what to do I'm with you man I think a lot of people would love it a lot of people need it you don't know how you obviously know how far this show reaches people live Brea and die this [ __ ] I did morning uh News in San Diego the woman's like I I wasn't even on a show she's like I heard your name on a Joe Rogan show hot chick out of San Diego you think you had a shot with her I I could have if I wanted to keep pushing it but they they me doing they had me doing radio from 6:00 in the morning until 3: in the afternoon oh my God I was on an immediate tour uh comedy mad house down in uh why would they put you on so much because they just want me to push product in Jesus Christ son just let me know and I'll tweet it for you that's ridiculous don't don't do that yeah well you know I like doing it I like going in there see if I can rock it but man that was longer than it's ever been it's good to rock it but you also need to get some sleep before the show well it it affected my show oh it does my first show I was just like my my energy is just really whacked right now well especially because most Comedians and it's not an excuse but the reality is we have a certain sleep cycle we go to bed at like 2 three you know even later in the morning like people said to me like oh you're up late last night I saw you Tweeting around 2:00 a.m. I'm like [ __ ] I just started writing at 2 right I went to bed at 8: time you usually go to bed what time I go to bed in the morning really yeah like like what like 6 my kids go to bed really early they go to bed at like 7ish 7:30 I read them stories by 7:30 they're ConEd out like they got to get up in the morning and go to school I can't write till the house is quiet you can't trust me you cannot write dick jokes while you got little girls screaming I totally understand you know playing team iiz zoomi and running around your house like they they you know and you also have to pay attention to them while they're awake you know
while they're home that's when we have fun together and when it's all done and everyone's asleep then I can get into my [ __ ] daddy goes to work daddy goes to work and sometimes it lasts a long time like if I catch a wave like if I'm in on a roll like especially if I'm writing a blog or like lately I've been I've been writing a novel actually I started writing it a few weeks ago I've been obsessed with this but you put up so much content yeah I got a lot of [ __ ] in my head man trying to get over my childhood hey that childhood made you who you are yeah absolutely you know everybody should have a shitty childhood makes you awesome hey man if it was handed to you you'd be lazy yeah there's a little of that too but also um I enjoy the creative process I really enjoy it the only thing that keeps me from doing it is distractions whether it's playing pool or doing Jiu-Jitsu or you know other things in my life if or watching TV or something like that those are the only distractions that actually keep me from creating things I'm at my happiest not at my happiest but I think a a good source of happiness I should say I want to quantify it is when something comes out when I sit down or write something and it comes out I love it that's why I never understood joke stealing and because I love so much coming up with an idea fine-tuning it and presenting it to people and the reaction to it I I enjoy you know it's like I could do just crowd work I could just rack the crowd for an hour just go every do an interview find out who they are rack them and they'd be happy but that doesn't get me off what gets me off is coming up with an idea in my head fine-tuning it tagging it and then presenting it to a crowd and getting a reaction from 300 strangers or who how many people are in the crowd well that is what an artist is that's why the guy saying he's not an artist is so [ __ ] silly you put together a song You're an artist shut your hole all right it and when you're an artist you get that satisfaction of someone appreciating your art that's what it is to make something good they appreciate your art and that's what these people are doing they're appreciating your art you you you put something together and the reward is when it comes out right you get a big laugh from the crowd
ah it's awesome I love it when I hear you know I'll go on the road and I'll meet some people are fans of the podcast and they're in the middle of nowhere and they're doing their own podcast and I love that they're like they're finding their own creative ways to put their things out isn't necessar like hey I got to get this podcast out cu I need to have this result which would lead to this and they just love the creativity I always think that's so cool man just to be doing your own thing like a lot of the Des Squad people in Ohio they have this whole Des Squad Network and a bunch of them do podcast and I think it's really cool man the internet is filled with people that have their own podcasts I get requests or listen to them every day someone says hey check out my podcast look if you do something that's good people will listen and then they'll tell people and so and so on and it'll grow and it's really that easy I mean I know I had a head start because I was already on television I did a bunch of other things before I started doing my podcast but it all just grew the first couple episodes was like a 100 people listening to it you know nobody gave a [ __ ] it took it takes a while I remember you talking about doing your podcast I think you just done Adam Corolla show right and you're like hey man I might try to do that well we actually did it long before then but we never stuck with it we did it on Justin TV yeah we used to do it uh after shows we used to do it this before anybody was doing podcasts we were doing these live streaming things from the Green Room we would answer questions they a little chat room we would just talk [ __ ] for the Green Room it was fun and then one day um there was two people that inspired me Adam Corolla and also opian Anthony Anthony kumia has a place set up at his house and he has a green screen and a a tricorder and the whole thing I mean tricaster and he has this incredible setup where he can pretend he's in Manhattan with the city behind him he can make it like Africa he can make it like space he can do whatever he wants it's pretty [ __ ] dope yeah and I saw that I was like that would be fun to do and so we um started doing them on Ustream just you know three almost four years ago it' be four years ago I think I think it's four years something like
that four years ago in December that's a long ass time have you ever thought about putting in a green screen yeah too much work and now who gives a [ __ ] you know it's distracting too have a bunch of [ __ ] going on behind I mean this place is gorgeous it's one more thing to think about too I want to think about [ __ ] it's gorgeous thank you gorgeous like a girl yeah I want to [ __ ] it you want to [ __ ] my house yeah I want to [ __ ] your your studio yeah um well we know what it is it's like it's what you can do if you can just design it from the ground up by yourself I want a brick wall make a brick wall I want a table made out of old oak boom so that's not the natural wall there you just put in a wall had that made had that built you had someone build a wall yeah build a brick wall yeah all the around through the whole building you just like being in front of brick walls like Comedy Club feels better feels organic that's why I wanted this wooden table too the wooden table feels like you feel it you know this is like this got a life to it this is reclaimed farmwood from a 100-year-old Farm really yeah yeah they they cut it down supposedly they might have lied to me they might found this [ __ ] it's made in the US but it's really China tell this stupid [ __ ] it's organic tell them it's gluten-free what is this screen behind us this thing that's some [ __ ] that the [ __ ] people who uh produced the TV show Sci-Fi show created they put it back there they thought it was important to have something back there it makes the light look though or is it just hangs out just chills we can turn the lights on look at that we swimming pool at night but don't that it'll do that to the wall too without that thing it'll just those are just little lights that we have on the ground well it looks great the it sets a great tone in here thank you very much Sam trip very sexy I'm glad you enjoy the Ambiance very excited about working with you to this weekend I uh I'm very excited about doing the com as you can tell I'm excited about uh the comedy magic club I I'm I'm I'm going over my set because you know I I I want to rock it but I also I you know I'm not a guy who likes to go into a comedy club and be like [ __ ] you I'm going to do what I want to do I love the comedy magic club I know they like get a little cleaner so
I'm working on what my set should be well I'm not going to be clean because but I'm not gonna I listen man I don't want to you know I don't know I actually don't know what I'm gonna do just rambling I'm just trying to figure it out like what I should do should you finished that Starbucks Coffee that's what it is is that coffee or tea in there that's coffee you got fired up well I got to figure out what I'm going to do it's a weird thing because I'm working for you and you're like kind of do whatever you want but then it's a club that's kind of likes clean so what you're saying is you're working for me but you're also working to impress the club so you can come back again no I I dude I I get that I'm not their kind of comic so I get that and it's a great Club they have me there once a year maybe but it's like I don't want to go in there and be like just [ __ ] on the rules that's not my way yeah it's not rules dude don't worry about that Mike's fine he's a good guy he's not going to book you anyway just I get that I get that but I don't know I have this thing that I'm like I don't want to piss people off I don't know why even though had a guy throwing a chair at me this week don't have to worry about it that's the store I'm telling you this first of all the store is haunted you know that and I know that if I ever believed in ghosts and I never saw a ghost there's an energy to the store I saw a ghost one time I uh I I had seen a ghost where well one time I was in the green room and I was uh I was all alone and I was just writing and get my set ready and all of a sudden I hear the the in the shower they have a shower in The Green Room the main room I heard the faucet just turning I'm like what the [ __ ] and the water started going I'm like dude that's some crazy [ __ ] well another time I was uh promoting the naughty show there and I'd run into the lobby of the main room and it was completely bright and then I ran back and I had to go grab something from my car and they come back and the room was dark and I'm like and Jeff Ross and his writing staff from his show were all there I'm like did you see anyone go through here and turn this off they're like no nobody's come through here since you came through I'm like okay so I start getting a little freaked out so I
walk into the lobby and it's pitch black but there's this weird one light this bright white light going against kind of where Tommy used to stands which is kind of where the cashier area is of the main room Lobby and it's this white LOB and it's kind of a weird reflection coming from Sunset street it's like bouncing off it's coming from there bouncing off this glass door and then it's hitting this thing and I'm I have no clue how the white light is getting there and I'm just looking at all sudden I see just this figure go right front of the light and I'm just like ah okay I'm [ __ ] out of here and I just went in the other room and made them go turn the lights on because I'm a big [ __ ] so you saw something go in front of it like this just this this figure just go right in front of that white light is it possible there was some sort of a reflection from outside it's possible but it's I wouldn't put M maybe it's possible but all I know is that was light in the lobby I come back it's pitch black and I just see something go right in front of this white light H you know it's not impossible man I I don't I don't think that it's impossible I've talked about it before on the show about how I believe it's like I believe in ghosts because I think everything is energy and it's transfer of energy and you always hear like when ghosts happen it's always when some violent crime had happened which I always think [ __ ] with the transfer of the energy when you get absorbed back in to the whole you know the connection when your energy goes and you get absorbed back in the some violence [ __ ] with that transfer and your energy ended up getting it's in between here and there so that's where the the ghosts come from well it might be possible I mean the idea uh is proposed by a guy named rert sheldrake I think he's an evolutionary biologist but he had this idea that everything has memory and that like that's why people want to buy houses that people died in them that like there's a feeling of those those experiences are still stuck in that space I don't know if that's true or not but my uh my dad is not a very um he's my stepdad but he's you know calling my dad I don't really know my real dad but he's not a not a very uh he's not a spiritual guy not a woo woo
guy not religious at at all but he went to Gettysburg and he told me that he had a really bad experience there he said it just like you could feel the death he goes it feels sad it's just like there's a feeling there and he goes and it might be because I knew what happened there he goes but it didn't feel like it he's like it just felt like there was something in the place that I could tangibly interact with yeah there's I mean if something violent and bad happened you can feel it in the air yeah it is possible Right yeah I again it's like my opinion on transfer of energy everything's connected it might just be something that is you know really difficult to register something that's really difficult like there's there's a lot of people that automatically like shoe the idea away shoe any idea away if that idea seems to be like a wacko idea like they don't go hm man maybe but think about how many [ __ ] people have told ghost stories is it possible there's something to that is it all the imagination I mean it could all be the imagination it could just be like an archetype that keeps repeating itself over and over again in the human psyche is it possible that there's things that can't be proven through science in terms of the what we judge as scientific proof I think it's possible that could be I think it's also possibly it's it's also possible that there could be a whole another dimension that we don't experience in this current state there might be another dimension where Consciousness lives you know there there might be another dimension where your your your soul goes after you die it sounds ridiculous but so does regular life well your episode on psychics man I totally relate to that I mean I've I've had I again I feel like everything's inter connected through energy and that some people may be able to uh uh connect with the energy a little better than other people maybe they see stuff that's going to happen maybe but the episode on psychics showed more about charlatans than anything well there was part of that but I mean personally I mean that's just one instance in which you I personally believe that you there are people who can tap into an energy that other people maybe can't it's certainly possible I don't I can't do it um and I couldn't prove anybody could do it on
the show we didn't we couldn't get anybody to show us they could do it the most psychic thing we had on the show was a guy pretending to be psychic that was telling us in advance that he was this guy banich yeah I saw that he faked it told us yeah he told us in advance I'm going to pretend to be psychic he fooled a series of scientists for years with all these tricks that he does I mean he's just a master it won't tell you how he does it but he tells you he's doing I want to know how he did the uh the dice I want to know how he did all of it the dice thing I looked at it and he had his hand in his pocket while I was rolling the dice and I wonder if there's a something in his pocket that register like you can touch it and it gives him like two zaps for two three zaps for three like it lets him know like what the number is it is possible it is possible that he does that that could be a possibility well my cousin supposedly can if you hand him something he can put in his hand and he can tell you where it's been and what's happened to it was does he smell it no he's got been up your wrist oh it smells like [ __ ] oh dice if psychic dice the psychic H oh someone here lost the grandmother I can see you sucking my dick oh sexual psychic sexual psychic I feel you rubbing my balls um how you show dice yeah man we did a show with him in Vegas I was doing the naughty show at the Hard Rock Casino and uh in vinyl which is this gorgeous club and uh man that guy packs him in dude oh yeah well dude we me Norton Bobby Kelly Anthony kumia red ban and Sam Roberts went to see him at the uh Riviera he was upstairs in the big room the [ __ ] killed it was hilarious dude dice is a master it was really funny man it was really enjoyable it was really it was it was an enjoyable show it was a good time watching him do his uh his carols doing the uh rhymes on a New Year's about eight years ago was one of my favorite moments of Comedy because I grown up on that stuff Hickory Dickory do I grew up on that he and it crushed yeah he was uh he was a big part part of my youth too listen I remember listening to him in my car with this girl that I was dating just giggling like a couple of retards thought it was so funny that was like the first cassette that he had remember that first cassette yeah that
just he so like a gazillion before social media and all that stuff oh yeah there was no social media well he was really unique in that people could repeat his stuff you know dice like you wanted to hear the same stuff over and over again yeah like a rock band Hickory Dickory do like people would just start chanting along with it oh my God yeah he was great people today can't understand like you can't wrap your head around how big he was that he was so [ __ ] big and there was this massive backlash from the so-called liberal media again people who wanted him to be like everybody else and they couldn't just accept and they couldn't accept also that this was a character like this was uh the these are his real thoughts and his homophobia and his which you know he did say a lot of like really rude [ __ ] different time so what was homophobia is okay back then well it was just a different way of dealing with it you know I mean people learn you know it's like when when people get mad at the elderly people for saying racist stuff yeah it's not right but it's a different time when your grandma asks you how your colored boyfriend is you know you don't throw Grandma out the window it's a just a different time it's not right are you a pine apologist no well well hold on Pauline listen I don't think you should call anyone the n-word except for me in bed and that's just a true story but listen man I'm sorry but it it if I hit know the story right if you're robbing me a gunpoint is that what the story was she got robbed at gunpoint and said some mean [ __ ] no okay that's what I thought the story was if you rob me a gunpoint I'm going to say some nasty [ __ ] I think there was like employees involved just call employees and words that's not right that's not right dude I'm all love I love everybody dude I love everybody we got that we got that from you Sam that's what I've been feeling no you don't you don't feel that I do I feel that you don't feel I love everybody man I don't care but if you rob me a gunpoint I'm gonna say some nasty [ __ ] it's also no one got robbed at gunpoint dude no that's what happened no she didn't get robbed a gunpoint there's no gunpoint oh my God what is wrong with you you have a phone Dean robbed a gunpoint why would you
actually they asked her have you ever used the nword she said yes of course and they asked her when oh she was held up at gun when black man burst into a bank that I was working 1987 crime she linked you oh oh okay I'm the [ __ ] well this is but it was also about her employees were saying so it wasn't let I agree with that I'm just saying that instant in which that's what got her in trouble wait a minute is this really it she past in the 1980s she uttered the racial slur while telling her husband about being held up at gunpoint by a black that's it that's when she used it yeah I mean I'm sorry dude but well I'm sorry dude cuz I was saying that you didn't know what you're talking about it was actually me but I know for a fact that her employees in accused her of doing it uh employee hold on accused her of racism it started because a former manager sued her and that's where the deposition started yeah but how does that have anything to do with her getting robbed she asked her okay hold up she asked her employee to dress up like anaa all right now it unfolds here oh God yeah this is different she I I guess apparently after the the robbery by gunpoint she held a grudge on the African-American Community but it also could be like an employee trying to get paid it's [ __ ] hard but didn't it get dismissed the whole listen man listen I don't I believe I love I love diversity that's a big reason I love Southern California everybody's mixing with everybody I prefer it that way this guy who worked there said that Dean referred to her and other employees using a racial slur the times doesn't specify which besides that there is a racially offensive term for black child oh my goodness do you know what that is no [ __ ] oh that's horrible she must have called them that maybe I'm just making that up though get dismissed but come on how [ __ ] is it that you could write a story about this but don't want to say the actual word yeah it's I don't want to say say but what it is is an offensive word for black children yeah what say the [ __ ] word why we pretending that if is if the word is so bad you can't say it then it's magic
then it's then it's Candyman candy let's know what's going on so we know exactly the degree of racism here yeah I don't know I didn't realize that she was I thought she just like had used the word before I didn't realize that she had used it because she got robbed when you get robbed you just [ __ ] call people everything you can think of it's when you dealing with a heck if you're heckling me that's way worse than heckling you you're dealing with a life or death situation probably you're probably freaking out you're probably so [ __ ] high on adrenaline and fear what does it say discrimination case officially closed judge approved dismissal of the case so that's the guy who knows man you got to look at things like that from a bunch of different angles one if she is racist that's kind of [ __ ] up but two she's famous and Rich and I'm sure people who work for her look at that as a Target and there easily could have been something that she Pauline's robber comes to her defense wait Eugene Thomas King is the former bank robber who Paula says she referred to using the n-word after he robbed her at gunpoint King was caught in sentenced to 25 years in prison after the dean robbery and a separate robbery he lives in Brooklyn New York now and when we spoke to him he actually broke down in tears he blames himself for Paul aden's troubles I really feel for her King said she's being persecuted because of that one little mistake in her judgment she was acting out of anger wow look at this guy he really came to grips with reality in court he had 13 prior convictions for robbery before he pointed his gun you need 14 before you can legally be called a [ __ ] you know yeah it's 14 seen it um and he says that he's turned his life around good for him good for him and also good for him saying that man you know that's like that's some clarity that a lot of people are not capable of sometimes people have to actually go through something really [ __ ] up so they can see like what they're really doing yeah good for that guy man life story my life yeah well I don't know if that's the only time she used that word yeah I'm with I'm just saying that was the instance in which I heard in which I
would tell you that if I'm Robby gum Point by some I'm going to say some nasty [ __ ] it's In the Heat of the Moment you know and even afterwards two hours later if I'm talking to my girl I'm going to be like yeah that's weird though man it's weird that she gets persecuted for that if this in the 1980s I mean that's 30 years ago 20 30 years ago man at least 20 you know it's so long we really is it the 19 what is the exact year okay if it was 1990 it would be 23 years she said she said 19 so it's more than 23 years ago Jesus Christ you know it's like that uh that that uh athletic director at Ruckers who was getting in a lot of trouble for saying stuff that she had said at a previous job decades before that and you know maybe what she say is rough but I mean people change man people learn you you know especially myself I mean that the things I've done in my life and sometimes how I treated people it wasn't right you know and I I've learned and I make amends and I move on and to be judged by something that happened like down way long ago is I think that's a horrible way it is horrible and it's also it's taking out the possibility of someone improving as a human being and learning from mistakes holding you accountable to something you did 20 years ago or even a [ __ ] year ago man let's be honest about that you're not the person you were a year ago if you're constantly evolving and growing me you might owe an apology for something you did a year ago but saying that defines you and a year is kind of stretching it for a lot of people CU a lot of people are the same person they were a year ago but 6 years ago 10 years ago are you the same person I sure as [ __ ] I'm not completely different I'm a totally different human being than I was 10 years ago you you you if you're paying attention and you're working on yourself and you're constantly trying to think and look at the world objectively you're going to grow you're going to learn from mistakes and if you're not making any mistakes you're not taking any [ __ ] chances yeah it's my whole Theory I was talking about on stage about how everyone got mad at the NSA and there or people like I don't care I got nothing to hide it's like who doesn't have anything to hide man man like are you not living any life that's not the point
anyway the the point is not the nothing that that idea is so silly I got nothing to hide well that doesn't matter you can't give people that kind of power the saying something like that is just without a doubt being ignorant about human behavior because absolute power this the old quote corrupts absolutely it always has when you give someone the ability to look in on your email Snowden was saying that he could just read people's emails he could just Target Sam Tria and just start reading your emails oh God and he had didn't even have a high school education yeah that you can't give people that power you can't give people the power to stalk you can't give people the the the power to peer in that's creeper [ __ ] and you don't have to do anything wrong I mean we looked at I mean there are are through history we've seen people who are profiled by agencies you know e Frank Sinatra Martin Luther King who weren't necessarily doing anything wrong but they were being monitored it's like you don't have to do something wrong to be monitored well that's the Jay Edgar Hoover days and before that of course the MTH ISM the McCarthy era is a a classic example of people being persecuted and people being singled out people being spied upon and categorized these dangerous and divisive groups that kind of behavior is unconstitutional for reason looking into people's lives is a violation of privacy and it's unconstitutional for reason and we have to recognize that there has always been people that are looking to capitalize on the holes that we have in our system and they will create false FSE flags and through those false Flags these events will cause them to clamp down more on security it will create right it's it's ridiculous but it's true they they will create artificial problems so that they will have a solution create a problem propose a solution get what you want what did you want we wanted to be able to control people we wanted a Norwell and Society how do we go about doing it well we're going to have to have a threat and you're going to have to have this threat let's call it terrorism terrorism is a good threat because it's so undefined it's not like we conquer one nation and our terrorism problem is over it continues forever and for people who think that's some tinf foil hat
conspiracy [ __ ] you're really not paying attention because it's happened it's happened over and over and over again yeah I mean even if you talk about conspiracy theories with some people they can't even begin to understand because they're looking it through their point of view my whole thing is like if you ever watch The First 48 man it's this great show it's about it's sadly about murder and in M real murder investigations you see people killing other people for $20 $20 now just imagine if there was a billion dollars on the line a trillion dollars on the line just CU someone's in the suit they're not standing on a corner they're going to act different no it's all Primal basic thing the they pull the trigger themselves yeah it's the desire to get as much resources as possible that's what it's all about I mean it's basic human uh behavior and if you can get it through the guys of War it's really easy to get things done you just hire a bunch of and now they have mercenary I mean during the Bush Administration they started using mercenaries for the first time and God knows how long man openly using like Blackwater and all these other companies going do a bunch of [ __ ] I met those dudes in Afghanistan I know some of those dudes I have friends that went over there and did some work for them I have a friend who was a sniper in the Marines and he made more money in doing that than he ever did doing anything he would go over there for a few months at a time made like 30 grand a month yeah come back they bank man but it's like that guy in Chicago who went around and unfortunately killed all those people shooting you know what that was about that was them trying to take over territory they thought that area that that block or that that uh that black top was another gang's territory and they didn't care who they shot they just wanted to shoot yeah so they don't care if they take out 13 people they just want to gain a certain amount of power and resources same thing like you know if if the government does something where a bunch of people die I me whether it's 100 200 3,000 5,000 whatever it it doesn't matter in the bigger picture of everything yeah and they also know that time will continue to roll on more conflicts will
arise and people forget about it constant state of War yeah people forget about so many different things that happened in the past they forget about different bombs that went off different they're going to forget about this mall in Africa after a while people are going to forget about you know the the bomb that the the Iraqis blew up on the US warship there's there's so many different events in the course of a decade of War plus that we've been involved in that they could just tally them all up and push them all aside as long as there's some new thing in the news to think about people will keep thinking do you feel that this Naval Yard thing hit as hard as most of I feel like it happened and everyone's like another one yeah we're getting desensitized man you see this video what is this they released a video of the guy it's not him shooting anyone yeah it's coming in with all the weapons and stuff yeah pretty chilly yeah I don't want to see it either but it's um yeah this is more where we're used to it the aora Colorado one we now kind of forgot about it we're thinking about a new thing now where people are going to keep thinking they're going to keep thinking about new things keep sticking things in front of their face and they forget about something that happened a month ago hey can I ask you I know in England the law enforcement doesn't carry guns but does I know Canada has very strict gun laws right M do does Canadian police carry yes yeah they have guns I always felt that that was a big issue with gun it certainly is yeah England it really is you know and there's uh you know arguments both ways the problem with guns is like that expression you can't take pee out of the pool once they're out there they're out there and in England they're not out there nearly as much as they are in America they don't have nearly as many gun violence uh crimes but we do you know we do we we we and people have the right to protect themselves you know it's not like you're going to round up all the guns they're not going to let you this country is not going to let you round up all the guns yeah we got a we got a sticky situation and I I think it's more of a mental health situation than it is anything one I I completely agree 100% this guy the Aurora shooter the kids that were in um
the uh the Coline kids they're all medicated they're all [ __ ] up on they're on drugs their their heads are [ __ ] up their heads are [ __ ] up maybe before they were on drugs maybe you can't even blame the the psychic psychotropic drugs that they're on but the bottom line is they're allom that's the common denominator mentally ill it's not guns there's a lot of sane people with guns that never shoot anybody if it wasn't guns they'd find another thing I just wonder if people will eventually evolve to the point where we stop shooting each other with guns stop murdering each other is that possible is that a there's a lot less murder than there was like in the [ __ ] 1200s back during the Mongol days and [ __ ] like that but it's still yeah it's a little more civilized I always think it has so much to do with people um shooting guns because in the movies what you'll see is somebody will shoot somebody gun and then they'll walk away and then like they'll be able to go shoot somebody else like there isn't an instant law enforcement situation that comes and hunts them down they're like the one movie with Steven Seagal I think it was above the law where that one guy goes on this crime spree for like a whole day and he just killing everybody at no point do you see law enforcement anywhere you know he just moves on to the next crime moves on to the next crime like I just feel people feel like they could shoot somebody and just easily get away with it um what yeah well that was my just tie rank that nobody you talking about created Above the Law with a real life sitation I just feel that there's some made Steven Seagal movie like an important Point well my point I just use it as an example meaning that I feel that a lot of people who go off on the and they start like in Chicago they start shooting people I think when you watch television or even movies there's always someone who could shoot somebody and he just walks off and his life goes on he's never worried about the the cops that happens in a lot of places where the cops aren't there but that's why I think it happens as much is that people don't think there's any ramifications for shooting somebody as much as there really is do you know what I'm saying no okay maybe I just went off on a this is
some weird thing I was looking in my head that's caffeine talking to you son I don't know what you're talking about people know that if you get caught shooting people you go to jail yeah but I I think people think they're going to get away with it that's why really who a lot I think that's a lot of these people who shoot guns they think they're going to get away with you mean like mass shootings all all of them I don't think they think they're going to get away with it I think they're on a suicide run well maybe that guy's on a suicide run but these people go around go around they just walk up and they shoot their drug deal they think they're going to get away with it because I you know what they think I this is my opinion I'm staying in opinion for the for the purpose of discussion we're I going bring this home cuz we only have a couple minutes left it's almost over disaster it was good to be back I've never been in the studio good to have you back on the show again anytime I love it um we'll be back next week my my lovely friends we have uh lots of uh fun guests coming up I got a a gang of people coming up over uh the next few few weeks some really interesting uh guests for the month of uh October too we got Greg poops is coming back and roctober yeah a bunch of people um lots of uh lots of fun guests and of course our friends we we don't know what we're going to do for the 400th episode this is what 97 398 this is 398 so 399 is the next one so in two next baby next week we'll hit 400 uh I don't know what we're going to do probably get on Joey Diaz and Duncan have some fun and uh that's it my friends we'll see you this weekend Sam tripley and I and you can ask Sam to elaborate on his Steven Seagal SL shoot someone and get away with it Theory um I will thanks to for Lumosity for sponsoring us go to lumosity.com tell them Joe Rogan sent you don't use the comma [ __ ] don't use Joe Rogan [ __ ] or [ __ ] Joe Rogan don't use that just Joe Rogan do whatever you [ __ ] you want to do don't listen to me it's America um it's America thanks to audible.com go to audible.com Joo get a free Audi book and 30 free days of audible service thanks also to hit.com go to o nnit t use the code name Rogan and save 10% off any and all supplements thank you everybody for all the love
online all the people that come to the shows the the Love on Twitter and all the cool articles that you guys sent me uh we're all in this [ __ ] together the freak party rolls on for 2013 that's the new party I I'm not represented by democrats Republicans or the Libertarians you can't handle money you don't know what the [ __ ] you're doing what charge freak party 2013 14 and beyond all right [ __ ] see you next week love the [ __ ] out [Laughter] [Music] you three