Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5bSOiuJSRY
you [ __ ] you don't know what you're talking about Ustream Ustream producer is not the not the best product but it's free as [ __ ] and it's just as good as like Tri quarters like those those tric casters those things are expensive as [ __ ] everything on the internet now I bought a Garmin you know the navigation mean you can download wave for free and it's just as good What I Hear yeah you can get a lot of free [ __ ] now that's just as good like this podcast [ __ ] we ain't charging The Joe Rogan Experience how ever is sponsored by some awesome companies but I'll tell you what we're not sponsored by gorillos pickles let's pass that [ __ ] over here people I've had two already oh people say to me uh Hey keep talking about why is this okay we got a problem here because I'm not seeing anything Let me refresh this and see if uh it shows we're broadcasting but I'm not seeing it oh there's the image okay um gorilla's pickles is not a sponsor they're just nice guys uh we met them when I was doing um uh zookeeper with Kevin James we were we were in the Commons and they had this cart where they were selling pickles I'm like who the [ __ ] is selling pickles like what a weird thing to sell and I thought they were going to be like those 7-Eleven pickles you know you get them in a bag of pickle juice and they're mildly good these things are [ __ ] ridiculously good they're fresh they're hot they some hot they got garlicky they have garlic in them that you see like they have like look at this can you see this online folks this there like [ __ ] swamp grass in here seaweed these [ __ ] are doing Voodoo with these pickles there's these big ass slices of garlic and there's big ass slices of Habaneros and Jalapenos in there and then there's fresh pickles and these [ __ ] are ridiculous no one's paying me for this this is 100% fre this is such a bonanza for them it must be great they're so [ __ ] good I ate a whole container of these I panic when I get low they send them to you from Boston yeah they sent them to me from Boston this ship them to me I panic when I get low I [ __ ] Panic they're the best [ __ ] snack ever and guilt free 100% guil free yeah cuz cucumbers a vegetable I sit in front of the TV I [ __ ] snack the [ __ ] out on these
things and I don't I don't feel bad cuz I'll [ __ ] I'll down a whole bag of popcorn right kettle corn or I'll [ __ ] up a whole bag of uh like cheesy popcorn popcorn with cheese on it or potato chips with vinegar and salt I'll [ __ ] up a whole bag then I'll feel like a loser and I'll wait an hour and a half and I'll lift weights I will I'm like I can't be a [ __ ] I can't just go to bed on that like a fat slob cuz that's step one to death so I'll make sure I do deadlifts in an hour and a half when the potato chips have have dropped down good for you but I eat these I don't feel guilty if you're in Boston you you're first of all you're [ __ ] cuz it gets too cold there in the winter and that shit's ridiculous and the women are two content I went to high school up there man it's not the place it's not the place it's beautiful place I loved it but you know what it made me me I remember wrestling and sucking weight in that winter yeah oh it was good times I did that as well walking around like a rail in that you know zero yeah excuse me I'm in the middle of a podcast my kids ladies and gentlemen this is why I have to get a studio this is why my kids are crazy the sound of children in the background is fantastic they just always there's always like a new emergency that's not really an emergency my Dolly's eye fell off we're going to have to glue it back on is it going to be okay okay I'm pretty sure we can glue it becomes a huge issue I have I have fake tea every every morning now oh I do too I have tea parties I do tea I te parties yesterday with both of them yeah but my my daughter's got to Milk The Cow you have to actually drink it too you have to actually drink I I have to blow on it first I'm like I got to go she's like where at the BL like come on yeah but it's important to play with them man I I enjoy well let's get to through the [ __ ] podcast first this is not a commercial okay we but this is a commercial the Gilla pickles things this is 100% for free just cuz I love and their pickles are [ __ ] fantastic and they're nice people anyway The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is actually sponsored where's that phone give me that phone man oh the uh Samsung Galaxy 3 yeah I got a Galaxy 3 from Ting this is uh going to be one of our new sponsors they
uh they run Ting runs on the Verizon or the Sprint network rather so they have excellent service and there's no contracts and and they have some dope phones including the Samsung Galaxy 3 wait so what what is tting t a new mobile company it's like there's alternative they rent space on uh Sprint the way I I don't I don't want to speak out of school because I haven't read their literature but essentially what it is is they run on the Sprint network they rent the Sprint network but they take a different risk and Sprint does they they they rent the service and then they say listen you know we'll charge you by what you use you can quit when you want and you're you have no contract so it's a way like better deal for someone who doesn't you know you might this and go you know what I [ __ ] droids I need an iPhone I got to get the AT&T I got to quit so if you quit you don't have to worry about like losing you know like a ton of money or having to pay some contract breaking fee and if you use less on one month you actually get credit for it on the next month so yeah it's a really good company it's a good deal and you know cuz they're on Sprint it'll be good service but that that they're not an official sponsor yet so this is another noncommercial commercial but I finally got hold in one of these Samsung Galaxy 3S I hear that they are huge yeah they're as good as a guess yeah it's supposed to be like a giant iPhone I need to find out you know how what the operating system is like I need to red band hates these [ __ ] things but does he yeah he doesn't like droids he doesn't believe in them but to me it's just computer people that are really into that they they they fall into different camps Apple's the only way yeah they get crazy you well you want to get an Apple get a piece of [ __ ] I stick with Dell yeah like I'm not in your War dude I have no dog in that fight yeah well match for f blanket weird statements like okay I'm into guys [ __ ] dummy dum dum we are actually legitimately sponsored only by on it that's o n nit and uh on it is a company that provides me with Alpha Brain and um uh i u a part owner in the company when so when you support Anna you actually support this podcast and support me uh why did I become a part owner because I
100% believe in what they're doing the ethics are absolutely perfect what they're trying to do is sell you the best [ __ ] possible for the lowest price point and make it as clean as possible so that no one feels ripped off so when you buy 30 pills there is a 100% money back guarantee you don't even have to return the product you just go this isn't for me I've read things online by intelligent people that are claiming that it's a placebo I don't know how everybody's body works everybody's different everybody's body has a different reaction to caffeine and alcohol and cigarettes and vitamins and I don't know yeah weed for sure I don't know how your body reacts to things but what I do know is that all of the nutrients inside of Alpha Brain have been proven to have a positive effect on human cognitive function and there are studies behind that and we're actually putting together our own study it's about to go live we've established a protocol and it will be a double blind Placebo study at a legitimate University to show everyone um that there is a a noticeable measurable benefit in taking nutrients I 100% believe this I've been a big fan of vitamins for a long time I'm very sensitive to my body yeah especially my nipples touch yourself very sensitive to my body um I know when I smell I know when I feel good I know the difference when I take fish oil and I don't fish take fish oil I always talk about this for Jiu-Jitsu if you take Jiu-Jitsu there's two things that are a must acidophilus and fish oil acidophilous healthy bacteria very important keep staff away so important ringworm everything and and colds as well because when you come in contact with colds a lot of it is through you know your hands touching things but what acidophilus is is this yeast and milk culture is a very aggressive culture and it's it's uh mutually compatible with your body so you can take it and you're fine and it's all over your skin when it comes in contact with some some bugs it just gangs up on it and beats the [ __ ] out of the disease it's like having an Army it's like having a healthy Army that kombucha that you grab from my fridge I you never find my fridge unless it's got kombucha it's never not stocked with it's got great it's got a mushroom bacteria yes it's it's got healthy
things that you take in your body well we have to realize that our bodies are not just your body it's not just you know hey I'm Brian K this my blood and my yeah there's a lot stff in there and the other thing that they are finding is that essentially your body is is like almost like an ecosystem in its own with it's made up mostly of organisms it's made mostly of microbes and good bacteria and bad bacteria and when you keep the balance of bad bacteria in relation to the the the the good versus the bad that's how you maintain good health Absolut and Science and a lot of scientists now are working on cultivating the bacteria in your body so that you have you know only good bacteria or you manage it accordingly and that's the future in some Circles of of of how you're going to be even healthier in the future what we're trying to provide it on it is all things that have a positive effect on the human body all of our supplements like Alpha Brain shroom Tech is another one shroom Tech is based on the cceps mushroom and which has been shown to have a positive effect on your ability to assimilate oxygen and this was actually discovered by high altitude herders they found that their yeah that their animals were eating these mushrooms and they were having um more energy they were moving around more and it was a noticeable difference so they started eating them yeah and the way they grow them is [ __ ] crazy it's a fungus they actually have to grow it on caterpillars it's insane it's insane it's a it's weird and it's really hard to cultivate and it's really [ __ ] expensive but if you use a code name Rogan you get 10% off any and all the supplements everything we sell you is the best [ __ ] you can buy everything it might not be the cheapest but it's the cheapest we can sell it and it's the best [ __ ] possible like hemp Force protein hemp protein is the easiest protein for your body to digest it's much easier than whey protein I like whey I you know I love like Muscle Milk and stuff like that but it [ __ ] lights my [ __ ] up like a Canon yeah it's got a lot it's hard to digest sometimes yeah whey is uh it's it's not as nearly as easy as hemp and there's some good hemp uh there's like Manitoba Harvest I've used that stuff before
that's like a chocolate hemp but it cannot [ __ ] with hemp Force hemp Force tastes so much better and one of the reasons is because we use the best quality hemp hearts we use hemp hearts the best quality you can get it's so hard to get that you can only buy 50 pounds of it a day so we have to put a new order in every day because these hemp hearts we can't grow them in America because of this [ __ ] government and even though Vermont and two other states have passed laws allowing them to grow the non psychoactive govern the federal government said they would come in and arrest people and in no unequivocal terms put well no what clearly they said clearly they said they would put people in jail it's [ __ ] horrible it's horrible to think about that you would arrest someone for growing a there's a lot of money involved in enforcing marijuana laws well the marijuana laws have nothing to do with hemp which is really crazy because you literally can't get high off hemp that's another thing that people get keep asking me if you eat this uh hemp Force am I going to test positive for THC at work no no you absolutely will not however if you eat a poppy seed Bagel you'll test positive for heroin something a lot of people don't know oh yeah that's why they tell that's why they tell Olympic athletes and stuff yeah well that's happened to people that have had uh heroin tests at work that's happened to people who eat a lot of poppy seed Bagels you test positive for the same metabolite um so you don't have to worry about that with hemp Force which is the so crazy we have to buy this [ __ ] in another country we would on it would be willing to grow It in America hire uh American farmers to grow it and and give people jobs and help the American economy but no this [ __ ] government with its horrible corruption and Dee rooted ties to pharmaceutical companies literally won't even let anything close to marijuana and if you want to read um how closely tied they are to the pharmaceutical companies pick up a book called The China Study by T Colin Campbell PhD who um was on the inside of of of all this stuff and was on the national board of Sciences and it is a he's a nutritional scientist at a Cornell University it is a fascinating book in expose on how industry has
hijacked disgusting how you eat why the school lunch program and 28 million Counting children uh eat what the dairy industry the meat industry and the sugar Lobby wants them to eat cuz it's big business and why children are suffering from diabetes and a host of other chronic inj uh illnesses don't take my word for it look at a credible scientist and real data to support what I'm saying it is fascinating this is a guy in the inside who knows all the scientists and the academics who've been who've been who who can take money from the same Corporation they're doing research for point is we're on a [ __ ] pirate ship so that's why hemp force is expensive it's really the only reason it's so it's a high quality food that we should be able to grow grow in this country we also sell we just started selling exercise equipment oh hemp hemp Force also has MAA in it and raw cocoa raw Coco is a very powerful antioxidant just had some today and MAA is uh stimulates testosterone growth son get that liido on kid I love it even testosterone a banned we uh have yeah it's going to be banned eventually they're going to they're going to want a world filled with [ __ ] do you really want horny men running through your neighborhood it'll never work though it'll never work dude we're going to have to we talk about this as soon as this commercial is over kettle bells that's what I'm all about ladies and gentlemen and we sell a host of kettle bells in packages at onet.com and again these these [ __ ] aren't cheap but they're the best quality you can get as cheap as we can sell them they are essentially cannonballs with handles on them they're [ __ ] fantastic they're Troy kettle bells they're the best we could buy they have the the perfect Dimensions they're they're [ __ ] so durable you buy them once you have exercise equipment for life they literally are a lifelong tool they will never break they're a [ __ ] iron cannonball with a handle on it where where's a good place to get kettle bell exercises online YouTube is the best it's free YouTube is free we're going to we're making a kettle bell DVD that you can work out along with me with Steve Maxwell because uh Steve Maxwell who is a black belt Brazilian jiu-jitsu uh as well as a um like world-renowned kettle bell instructor and fitness
instructor and just a brilliant guy I love having conversations with him about Fitness cuz I I always learned something new I've been working with him for years and uh we make little videos on my cell phone like he'll show me the exercise and we'll do a video like he he he got me through he's got like a bunch of exercises uh that he's programmed for me one of them was just a full body weight exercise routine where I did nothing but body weight something I could do in a hotel with a towel over a door like he's really into like that like yeah so you can you can do a full workout and it's a brutal Body Weight Workout it's [ __ ] you know one-legged squats and [ __ ] like that one arm push-ups you get in Crazy shap oh Hindu push-ups Hindu squats and it's a ruthless ruthless workout that you could do in a little room you know push push a chair to the side and you got a gym in your hotel room Tak 15 minutes to kill yourself actually so we're going to make uh DVDs and uh and have them also for sale at on it so Steve Maxwell's in which I'm very excited about because I wanted to make sure that if I'm doing a video I don't want to [ __ ] anybody's back up I want J [ __ ] do everything wrong my monkey ass and then have you do it you know so uh we'll have that soon all right and and I'm going to record the uh The Joe Rogan soundtrack to in the background it's a jo jo Ro what's the soundtrack listen well this is the podcast about to start now use the code named Rogan get 10% off any and all supplements at on.com including the hemp force and uh the kettle bells and the battle ropes however we we're selling those [ __ ] as cheap as we can battle ropes is the cheapest you can find on the internet and uh battle ropes are another awesome caveman style manly [ __ ] workout go to hit.com o n niit t hit it I was just gonna say I think you can sing when when you sing a Joe Rogan song you got to you got to get D down deep like thisen I don't have the whole song but I got certain vers hello Joe Rogan he is your friend Joe Rogan he is the man Joe Rogan he's got the best D podcast in the land he's got a thick short neck and a wide face and a very expressive eyes very expressive eyes he's got a long arms and short legs and a high tied ass and a barrel of snakes
for a back a barrel of snakes for a back not to mention the fact that his lower extremities would be more at home on a mule than a human being he's Joel Rogan is your friend Joel Rogan is the man he's Joe Rogan he's got the best damn podcast in the land thank you very much everybody I didn't know if I should help you end it or dude that's all I have that's all I have man it's emotional that's all I can't you guys maybe I'll add some more verses but that's all I've got for now how was sham I started singing that stupid song in the shower you sing that song I was like yeah I was I don't know why I was like I woke up in the morning I was like I'm bored and I was like Joel Rogan he is my friend his name is Joe Rogan and I started breaking down your body you you might have like the worst sense of beat and Rhythm ever oh dude I'm the terrible singer what are you talking about I'm the worst I am the please somebody please put that to music so I can so I can just Revel and play it on a loop in my car I would be a terrible musician dude why were we thinking about my body when you by yourself that's crazy I I was soaping myself down yeah and I was touching myself I don't know makes me feel weird man I was just feeling I was feeling I wanted to be as thick and wide as you I'm not really happy about it he's thick and wide I can't go north to south so I go east to west yeah you're thick I'm meant to be carrying bricks up hills yeah you were always yeah yeah think about you even when back in the day you were always working out and you had just you had big hands big hands long your arms are long legs are short arms are long well my legs aren't short my upper body's short oh that's okay yeah my legs actually it's true your legs are actually yeah you just got my body's very weird yeah you're actually your body it's built to Bear Down rocks up hills Sicilian Stone yeah but I'm half Sicilian what happened to me I'm built for dance you're built for rocks and I'm built for dance [ __ ] annoys me I'm I'm built to gesture an emote well that's one of the things I think I like about kettle bells I feel like I'm working hard put in a [ __ ] hard kettle bell workout man it's like you're you know you're really going to war you're really
fighting something it's not just like doing a benchmark I've never done a really hard Kettle Bo work what maybe you'll take me through one how dare you you're in my house yeah maybe you'll take before feed you the grass-fed steaks that I got we got some grass-fed steaks I'm too high right now but we'll do it afterward a little too high to work out mm it's the best time to work out is it [ __ ] yeah I don't smoke enough weed you don't smoke enough weed that's the problem you got to get comfortable with the waves it's like if you don't know how to surf and you get on a board and the wave hits you you're going to fall in your ass why and you're like I can't handle the wave no no no you just don't know how to handle the wave yet you got to learn how to ride the weed waves that's the whole life when someone's when someone's high all the time they they can just handle being high they can handle being high talking to a cop they can handle being high buying tickets at the movie theater it's not they're used to they're used to the boat they're used to the the waves man you use that experience I like that I like that you lift weights when you're high you feel your muscles man you feel your tissue you do feel everything way more intens you feel it you everything pops and stretches better it feels great when you stretch high stretching high is like one of the great Pleasures oh yeah I do jiujitsu high all the time whatever you gave me I feel I have good energy right now sativa it's called sage sativa sativa yeah it's a sativa it's uh it's all um positive and energetic it's not like a I've never done standup high like this yes you have we got you high once before show that's true oh that's right in fact did great you crush that was [ __ ] that's right that was at the ice house and I started talking about saving a baby that was trapped under a smart car you should get high before every show man for real why [ __ ] around why [ __ ] around lately on stage I've been I don't know if this ever happens to you but I'll get a like just a winkling of an idea yeah and I just start following it on stage and sometimes it just starts forming itself other times you're like where am I going with what are you doing this weekend you got gigs yeah I'm going to be in uh actually I'm glad you reminded me I'll be in Vegas at the
Paris at the Paris which a great new room and I'll be there Thursday Friday Saturday come out that's Court Court mcgall Place Court mcallen's place at the Paris and it's great and Court will be middling for me and uh can't wait man I had a great time in shamberg thanks everybody at shamberg and thanks to Joe Rogan cuz lot people came out because they listen to this and um it was it was it was amazing man I love I love those crowds I love that room it's a great room I love Chicago they're so nice yeah they're great they're just polite people they're better they're better than us I love the way you said that you look down now they're better than us they are better than us they're real people they have to deal with us winter we're soft we're soft we're softer on the belly there's something to be said about about having to deal with the winter they they say that the the the people in the North developed faster in technologically because they had to get ready for the winner because they they the winner was something you had to develop a sense of time you had to figure out how to harvest store food and all the things that come with that and it required a higher level of technology and a higher level of sort of planning and and and in some ways uh uh uh discipline because the criminals are way Smarter on the East Coast yeah well they're organized it's called the mafia where it those aren't the Smart Ones the Russians are the Smart Ones the Russian you don't know yeah the Russians and the Chinese keep their [ __ ] M clo the Italians start reality shows like Mob Wives you imagine if a Russian chick tried to start a Mob Wives show they would kill that [ __ ] but these weak ass guins are letting these [ __ ] dumb broads go on TV and spout all their nonsense basically indicting them an entire life of crime you know what you're getting into when you're entering this life oh really so you're admitting your husband's a [ __ ] Criminal on TV you dumb [ __ ] is that what you're doing is that what they is that yeah that's what you're doing you got if you are in a criminal Empire okay if you're involved in something like that you can't go on a reality show and just make light of it like it's no big deal to be a [ __ ] mob wife because I guarantee you there's some [ __ ] in that guy's past that he's
denied and then he would say no no no I'm not a lifetime criminal this you got your wife on TV talking real Maia guy if you're a real mafia guy your wife doesn't know a damn thing they found they found the Chinese the head of the Chinese Triads they said in New York and you know what he'd been doing for 15 years what selling uh soda out of one of those uh push carts Jesus Christ that was his cover Jesus Christ they're willing to take it the soda is not [ __ ] it's warm give me a [ __ ] give me a cold soda let's go he's ahead of a Triad he was dealing with that every day that's hilarious okay ran the Triad when they had that whole Gotti thing going on in New York I remember going what is going on they can't arrest the mafia guy like this main Mafia the Teflon Dawn where is a I remember thinking like I met and spent a lot of time with his lawyer really what's his name uh I can't remember his name now it's killing Bruce Buffer no Bruce Buffer no not Bruce Noor no no not C something like cter no whatever Cutler Bruce Cutler Cutler maybe maybe anyway he looks like a big F gorilla I thought he was an Italian guy go no I'm Jewish I'm Jo from Brooklyn I don't believe in violence but I was a wrestler he was a wrestler and he never lost he said but he was a really great guy and oh what is his name what is his name we got to Google that okay um but he's he was such a good guy and we had so much fun and and um really good Bruce Cutler or Bruce I don't remember uh yeah he's a great guy he's got a great sense of humor um and uh and he was just talking about how defending somebody you know that they're going to send you away for a thousand years I'm I'm going to defend you I'm going to do everything I can and and uh you know but he said he said yeah Bruce Cutler he said about Gotti he said he said I've I've I've uh I have defended some very formidable men and that is the one guy who really lived what he spoke what he said you know I was I ever tell you a story about being in Little Italy in 91 let's call it and uh might even be yeah something like that I think it was even 90 and it was early and I was at and he had a I can't remember the name of his social club but it was right near a a restaurant called Cafe sarento we used to go there and right next door was the uh Social Club oh come on what's called Murry something
something M social and I'll never forget and that's where Gotti and his boys used to hang out you'd see these just rough looking dudes with ear pieces and and they the car would pull up and stuff and I remember I was eating at The Outdoor Cafe was with this girl and I saw these two dudes in suits with open Shirts R ravenite social ravenite social club and and Cafe T was right next door and I remember seeing um these two just giant men walking out on their way clearly to do I could smell it I could see it clearly to do something bad clearly to do something like you know and I remember looking at how big and formidable they were and and how they were basically professional knu knuckle Breakers I thought to myself that that would put the fear of God in you that that's you better be ready for guys who are going to you know yeah because the cops are going to come and then they're going to go and those guys are going to wait yeah they're going to come back that's right they're going to that's what their job is to get that done that's right that's right they go like this they go have a nice evening have a good evening yeah then they come back and your whole place is burned down see see you soon [ __ ] face see you soon sat of your mother for me right yeah it's a very scary thing to have uh organized crime you know well corporations and Technology actually actually um took a big bite out of organized crime you couldn't shake down local businesses anymore because they weren't they were all llc's and things it's interesting the ravenite social club is now a shoe store oh wow yep wow it's like shoes and purse and the and the way they brought down brought down got you ever hear the story The the guy who used to run the ravenite social club Managed IT he was the guy who took care of like cleaning the tables and everything else they sent a cop in there this beautiful woman she was a cop she banged him on the table and as he was having as he was banging her on the table she put a mic under the table and that's how and that that is how she took one she took one for the team went in there Co F this guy took some [ __ ] bang put under there and tro brought the whole thing down wonder if she came it's a good question wonder if she was like so like turned on by the [ __ ] scand
she was a sexual Patriot wow and I appr sexual Patriot is a new distinction there it is heard of a sexual Patriot before Oh by the way everybody thank you for making man thoughts with Brian Ken number nine yesterday thanks to the Joe Rogan podcast because I know a lot of you guys are just going over from here to there I mean that's kind of crazy people love you I started talking about the 10-minute podcast I started talking about my podcast the next day the next day like my my my my buddy was like you're number 13 dude on iTunes I was like have you ever seen the YouTube comments whenever we request people to go look at a video no no it's hilarious like whenever it like I recommended like uh an almond Brother song the other day and you go to the song now and for the first three pages it just says like powerful Joe Rogan uh Olive Garden butthole oh it's awesome yeah it's hilarious Joe Rogan sent me yeah it's ridiculous what do what do you think is the well I mean your podcast has become a bit of a phenomenon and you know as long as I've known you the one thing I know about you is that you've never ever lied you're just an authentic dude and you For Better or For Worse For Better or For Worse you were always the guy and when you were young it was so inconvenient because if you didn't like somebody at that in that Circle you'd be like I don't [ __ ] like you I don't like you so there it is I mean it was basically that or they they they figured out real quick that you just had a problem with well you were willing to tolerate some really ridiculous people in your life and uh I loved you and I'd be hanging around with you and I'd see all these problems in your life and it drove me crazy cuz it wasn't just that I didn't like this guy I was mad that this guy was wasting your time with nonsense these idiots and liars and frauds and dummies and you didn't want to hurt their feelings so you accommodated them and I was offended I was offended by them I was offended by them for being so weak to run this weak game and then you were accepting this weak game so they didn't grow do you know you know a lot of young people listen to this and one of you know what I figured out after a while why don't why I don't do that anymore why don't suffer fools anymore
is because when you when you suffer fools like that what you're doing is actually taking your time away from a and from real people people who do deserve your time exact you know who are not Impostors it's not good for them either the fools if you let a fool be a fool they have to be a Fool by saying that you know that's who they are you just accept that they're never going to grow right and I don't know if they can grow I don't know what their potential for growth is but we're not going to [ __ ] find out if you tolerate them you can't do it because you lose all your energy it takes you it's actually a form of high-tech procrastination if I think that back on it I think a lot of it was just high-tech procrastination we do as human beings astonishing things to ensure our own failure or to at least ensure that we don't realize our potential potential and we do crazy things like have a family with three kids that we and with a woman we don't like or or or take a job that we have to take because we got to hold down this massive nut we create for ourselves when what we should be doing and and actually it's in turning pro he talks about this a lot pressfield pressfield you know um and the war of Art and the war of art so we we do these things it's very hard and I always tell people I I say if you really want to try and exercise just just if ask yourself if you couldn't fail if you couldn't fail you can get anything you want just make a list of what you really want in Technicolor and and see what it does to you it's hard to face up to it you know a lot of people have like competing like Notions uh in their own mind about money you know they were psychi talking about how you have all these weird things like money money buys you that can't buy you happiness it's the root of all evil right but we all want money so we in within our own mind we have these major conflicts of interest whenever you bring up the word money because it h it it conjures up both negative and positive images in us that's interesting to me because you and I know that if you make enough money you can do a lot of good with it you can make a difference with it so everybody should be trying in some way to be it's not just about money but trying to be the best they can be because you'll make a difference but I
think within ourselves part of the human problem and something you have to face up as you get older is the fact that there are a lot of contradictions within your own mind because they've been given to you you know um it's really hard sometimes to just have because you have to actually think you deserve it and most of us are conditioned to be guilty about having um too much you know yeah well there's a lot of people in this country that feel like it's okay to be angry at you because you're successful there's a lot of people that will say like oh [ __ ] Rich [ __ ] much less in this country than other countries and I'll tell you why and one of the strengths of our country is this and George Will has a great he gave a great speech about this um the the the great thing about America is that all of us out there know and I hope we're not losing sight of this because in some ways you can get cynical about the way this world is wired now but that the bottom line is a lot of Americans know I may be poor today but if I do the right thing I might be rich tomorrow that sense of potential in the American character is what drives this economy it's why we're so Innovative that's all well and good as an ideal but the real problem has nothing to do with America as an ideal the real problem has to do with weakness of character and people not liking people who are successful yes you know I had a friend who will remain nameless but he's a very nice guy and he's a comedian he's sort of a a bit of the self-hating nebbishy type and he's like God you're always doing this with your body like why you know why why why have your why have all these muscles why why be in shape like why you so concentrated on that like for real I go if I gave you a pill and in that pill all you can do is you take this pill and you all of a sudden you're a super athlete you're a a person who's unlike 99.9% of the people you run the street you're a martial arts expert you could choke people you could kick the [ __ ] out of them if you wanted to you can defend yourself wouldn't you take that pill and he goes yeah I I would I go well that pill is just hard work right if you do hard work you become that I did it without a pill consistency yeah it's all it's the same thing it's like there's nothing wrong with being in shape the
only thing that's wrong with being in shape is if you're not in shape and you see a guy's in shape and you see a woman react to that guy in shape in a very sexually attracted way it makes you feel uncomfortable so you want to pull the go post back you want to make the game easier you want you don't want to compete with this guy you know so and and and and it starts with like I always tell people you know but first first ask yourself be honest with yourself man sit there alone and ask yourself what you really want I mean ask yourself in detail then don't go don't like if you have to get your PhD or something ridiculous don't don't look at the top of the mountain just take an action every day I don't care what it is one little action and and that's what I do like just take just keep taking it's like working out show up I don't give a [ __ ] if you start with five minutes when you show up too you develop momentum that's it when you start developing momentum the human being relies a lot on momentum it's a weir an habit we're we're beasts of habit and momentum and when you that have a habit of working out all the time if I don't work out for a few days I feel super uncomfortable I don't I don't I don't feel good me neither you have to you have to exercise on a regular regular basis and when you do that you develop momentum when I write a lot I'm writing I get on a momentous sort of a wave and I I I I feel good about it and it becomes a part of my habit that's you have to do is make give yourself positive habits yeah positive habits positive habits success is a habit by the way you're right yeah be proud be proud of of getting work done be happy that you're getting work done I mean that that is what you do but you know a lot of people also remember you surround yourself with a lot of people who don't who aren't happy for you they're not actually your friends but what they are is they're Comfort they're creatures of comfort they're not actually your friends and I think it's important sometimes you got to change your [ __ ] gang you got to change your group well one of the reasons why you and I were um such good friends when I met you it's like you were first of all you were the the closest guy to me I've ever met in my life I was like holy [ __ ] here's this
guy who's like exactly like me and you required nothing like you you had no like what man you're not going to come to my birthday party you were there was no no creepy dummy [ __ ] in there and I had just gotten out of a friendship where I had to kick a guy out of my life because I was friends with him when I was broke and then once I got on television he got really [ __ ] jealous and he said a lot ofum dumb [ __ ] I asked him not to give away my phone number I I said I have two phone numbers cuz I've always had like a media phone and then a regular phone because when you do media like like you do radio shows they have to call you back and I want to have a phone where if I pull it out of the wall I don't give a [ __ ] who calls you know so I have that phone so I said just do me a favor your friend who by the way just got out of a mental institution would you do me a favor and just give him my other phone he doesn't [ __ ] care about you man just cuz you're on TV your friend just got out of a mental instiute he's [ __ ] crazy all I'm asking is if you're going to bring this crazy guy into my life by connection give him the media phone and he went in this well you think you're such a [ __ ] badass cuz you're on TV I'm like what is this what are you even talking about man I'm asking you not to give your crazy friend my number that's it that's it and all of a sudden it has to become some attack on you know and on my success and it was uh it wasn't even a big success it was just a little part on a sitcom but you remind them of what they're not doing and I think a lot of people go this notion of scarcity this idea that there's only a certain amount of the pie and if somebody else is doing well I'm not going to do well they're not even thinking that all they're thinking about as themselves they're not looking at as this giant picture of resources all they're doing is just like being a baby all they're saying is what about me I had a friend who got a part and as he got aart he got a part in a sitcom his girlfriend started crying I'm never going to get anything God what about me like this guy just got a part on a sitcom he was so happy he like I can't believe I got it I nailed the audition I got it I worked with my acting what about
me what be me that's why I don't date actresses actresses it's part of the song I don't know I have a very strict no head shot policy it's very I always steal that cuz I I uh I went through my head shot phase and I uh I just stopped doing it yeah you uh you learn you know you don't want to dat that anybody's as [ __ ] up as you are that's bottom line I don't want to I can manage my [ __ ] up in this I don't want to introduce yours into the day the other day on stage I was talking about my my daughter and I was like I just don't want her to date a guy like me that's all so I got to play a character for the next 15 years so she imprints on somebody different yeah well my friend said what are you going to do if they start dating girls or start dating boys I'm like guess what girls like boys that's it Boys Like Girls too I'm you the only thing you can do is this Here's My Philosophy it's good it's they're supposed to like girls instill them with the right values and a good mind they're going to make their mistakes that's that's all you can do just afraid of their children by the way make sure if they're if they're looking up to a Yer like Kim Kardashian just give them an alternative they're not going to look up to that dummy it's it's real if you don't [ __ ] your kids up if you you raise them like your their friends and you talk to them and communicate with them they're not going to be attracted to something as stupid as a life of Kim Kardashian I remember watching you there's there's humor in that yeah I remember watching you with a your first daughter and you were you would talk to her like an adult and when I would talk to her like this cuz I didn't I didn't know anything about K we play you know I play with my kids but I talk to them and I think kids know a lot more than you think they know you know I mean I I'm I'm down to play princess I'm down to pretend Santa Claus is real I'm down for pretend but when it comes to emotions one of the first things I do whenever I catch them doing something wrong like they hate each other or yell at each other I always tell them that I did the same thing always like one of them bit her sister the other day I go I bit a little girl when I was five got in trouble bit some girl in her hand and she was sticking her
hand in my moue I'm like [ __ ] you [ __ ] I bit her hand so I told you know her how B still do that I mean after after the first after the first three times you put your hand in your mouth my mouth watching her little four-year-old eyes like look at me and realize that I used to be dumb and did a lot of like it wasn't just her daddy I wasn't just an adult at one point in time I was a little child as well just like her and I was telling her like I very remember biting this girl and it was very traumatic I shouldn't have done it and the girl was mad and her mom was mad and I felt like an idiot you know and her mom's like why didn't you just slug her you didn't have to bite her I'm like I'm sorry just F [ __ ] I mean I didn't even break skin or anything it was just so dumb the worst the worst thing for me the worst times in my life I I can always remember was when I was embarrassed do you tell your kids this somebody embarrassed you no I haven't really I haven't told my my daughter that who's old enough now to understand yeah I do man anytime there's any sort of an issue I think that's one of the most important things same with my stepdaughter she old older I've always done the same thing with her um she's not I mean say stepdaughter she's my daughter and um and when well that's what I talk I saw but when I communicate with her it's it's it's the same thing it's always got to be that they're a human being well you're giving them the benefit of the doubt actually they have the same mind as we do they don't have context that's ex what it is with children ex and when you bring them into your world like that communicate with them then then they'll bring you into their thoughts as well it's amazing how much my four-year-old just opens up and talks to me about how she feels about thingss do you think that you have a I was just uh talking about this with u i just recorded something with J Moore on my podcast and I asked him if he had a primary question that runs through his mind every day do you think you wake up with a primary question no you don't have a you don't have one overriding question no enjoy myself that's I don't I I think this is a journey I just think this is a ride absolutely it's look it is it's temporary it's not going to last I just want to enjoy myself I want to be
uh amongst friends and have a good time have a good time doing my standup doing my work have a good time doing Jiu-Jitsu hanging out my boys at 10th planet and johnj machados having a good time driving around listening to music being nice to people yeah I feel like you know we're all a little too small in this giant Universe to take ourselves too seriously well it's not there's no benefit in it there's no benefit in self- Grandeur there's the the benefit is in Friendship the benefit is in fun and laughter I'm so psyched about you coming over here like we we talked about this our families are together Brian's wife's here um we have uh the kids here I've got Stakes we're going to play some music listen to some music and drink some wine that's what life's about life is about having fun didn't I say that to you I said we we going to Mark our lives by the number of times we laughed with each other and we're silly and and we're we're we're just surprising and shocking each other that's what it's about St hope and I were on the phone the other day and he was drunk and uh and he's like you know I could quit standup but I couldn't quit standups he goes I I could he goes I don't need to do comedy anymore he goes but I I never want to stop hanging out with Comics yeah cuz you know he and I were just on the phone we're just laughing and talking [ __ ] and laughing and laughing he called me uh he was listening to the Jamie podcast Jamie kilstein podcast in a in a in a van filled with other people like he was on on tour and he called me it sounded like a comedy club he goes I just want to tell you we're listening to you right now and everybody has something to say to you and then he like he holds up the phone and all the comics in the van are screaming and cheering and applauding that's great Jamie kilstein said some crazy [ __ ] about Tosh shouldn't have said that rape joke and it's was like he went Captain feminist on people so St up call and then I call him back and we're just laughing and he's he's just like so so fun that's the kind of human beings you're supposed to be in contact with Joey Diaz you know every time I'm hanging out that's an original what a stamp on life that guy's he's just great I mean he just he looks over in UFC and I'm I'm sitting like literally like six 10 chairs away and he goes he just leans
over goes no drama [ __ ] Shaka no drama and everybody's like what the [ __ ] is that guy saying that I like I was like no drama man no drama [ __ ] we're doing an end of the world show with Joey Diaz Doug Stan hope me my God and a um a band called honey honey I'll be in the audience I'll December 21st 2012 I'll be there in Hollywood and it's to be uh at the wilter theater I'll come on stage as you again ladies St hope is also coming to um the ice house this Friday night so if you're coming to the ice house we got shows at the ice house it's me Joey Diaz and Ari shafir uh tonight and tomorrow I'll beas tonight uh Doug stopes or not tonight tomorrow what am I [ __ ] today's Wednesday I don't even know what day it is Friday night and Saturday night sorry um at the ice house and Friday night Stan Hope's going to be here wish I could I would come out I've never met Stan hope a big F really I'd love to meet him he's a great guy he's the best I so important he's so important to me he's like a he's a real guy ref really doing it he's refreshing yeah and he's 100% legit he's a 100% legit hilarious headliner comedian who's just really into continuing to do that albe it occasionally reluctantly he's he's he's the real deal man I was talking to J Moore today and uh and he I said you know he said what's your what's your definition of Heaven I said to be honest with you man I think it's just being on stage and doing standup I don't think I'll ever take time off away from he's like where you when are you going to retire I don't think I think I'm going to be Don Rickles I'll be 85 years old doing [ __ ] standup because it's just so much fun and what else would I be doing find me something else that's really fun be like you want to go skydiving you want to nah I got if people still want to listen I'll still be doing it yeah and when they don't want to listen anymore when you're doing like half filed shows and the people are barely there you're like well all right maybe time to pack it in but then again maybe it's time to go back to the drawing board and come on with new stuff oh yeah well it could be yeah for sure I mean you know it could be that it could be a lapse but for some people it's the end you know there's a lot of people that get fat they just get fat in the brain yeah but you got to keep feeding I
always tell like young Comics I'm like feed your brain it's important to read everything if you can or as much as you can you you and keep asking yourself the next question it's how you stay Dynamic it's how your material will grow and it's how you will grow as a person you know one of I I've been getting nothing but great feedback about this podcast I did with my dad well my dad's 72 what my dad continues to do and what I respect about him so much is he continues to grow I watched the 72-year-old guy taking Italian and going to Italy for three weeks and throwing himself into Italian when the [ __ ] is he going to use Italian yet he doesn't care he takes it reading these obscure things on quantum physics and stuff he's just always well because he enjoys it I think what people have to real the reason why that's shocking to people is most people feel like there's a destination well I'm going to reach retirement when I reach retirement then I'm going to change there is no there is just now there is just life and you should think about the future but your primary concern should be now it should be life and what do you enjoy doing do you enjoy learning things do you enjoy reading do you enjoy isolation tanks or [ __ ] hikes or workouts do that stuff and by the way here's something for people who say well I can't do that cuz I got to put money food on the table for my kids you'll set a very very good example to your children if you're following your dream and what you're supposed to be doing that children pick up on that they can pick up on whether you're you're doing drudgery or you're doing something inspiring for yourself and it'll make your household better in my opinion that's easy for me to say by the way because I'm not having to pay bills all the time so I don't want to I don't want to be too disrespectful to people who are actually trying to just put make some money and figure their their [ __ ] out but just keep in the back of your mind that you know just some people get an easy ride in this life we all know this some people get really lucky and they get an easy ride in this life but that doesn't usually last most of the people who get an easy ride if they don't earn it they wind up [ __ ] it up that's true almost always that's very true and your ride is different than
anybody else's ride as my ride is different from anybody else's ride but you got to accept that instead of being mad at other people's rides you got to only look at what you're dealt what is the hand you're dealt move from there don't worry about this guy who's [ __ ] Rich prick he's born into a [ __ ] rich house dad's a [ __ ] Banker he's got all this money kid thinks he's a that is not your concern okay that guy's got his own problems if you concentrate on him and hate on him that is wasted resources what you should be concentrating on is what hand were you dealt you know well I'm not so good at math but you know what I think I want to be a rapper be a rapper concentrate on yourself concentrate on what hand you're and please remember also this is so important as I get old of this there's no doubt about this anybody you admire who's really good at something whether it's the drums Jiu-Jitsu math whatever please know this they've put in at least 10 years of really hard work at least not always not always some people are prodigies they get but but anything anything that you anything that you want to get good at you're going to have to put daily practice into and should always do it for the sake of the practice not the result you get you get just as much like somebody said well I don't know by the time I get my psychology degree I don't know if I get look you're going to be while you're trying to get your psychology degree you're going to be meeting people you want to be around who are Dynamic and interesting because they're going to be doing the same thing you're doing so it's the fun starts almost right away yeah you know well it's people just get scared about long-term goals and long-term commitments it's like just keep working you're going to keep working anyway on something right are you just going to stop moving you're going to work on feeding yourself you're going to [ __ ] move forward Tim ferrah said something interesting in his book he goes my go goals I don't set these 10e goals I set three month goals 6month goals 9 Monon goals 12 month goals that that's a good way to do it you can get a lot done in 3 months you know just something simple I don't set any goals you know never never set goals I I set objectives like as far as like what I
want to get done in days during the day but I my goal is to be doing what I want to do and I'm already doing that oh yeah but you've always so I don't have goal you but you've always had very clear Notions I'm talk to you you'll go I remember you going I'm going to start my own TV show my own TV channel I remember saying that before the podcast then you were like I'm going to do a podcast so you get these ideas and the difference between you is that once you get an idea like that's that like once you're into something whether it's a video game or a sport you're a you're a CO cuckoo bird about it [ __ ] cuckoo like I'm like what are you doing he goes I I just finished practicing Quake for 15 hours I fainted I'm like well you know how about I'll do it for an hour and 15 minutes 15 hours I Fain painted I didn't get any water that's you well I grew up uh completely obsessed with martial arts and that that mindset of uh the the practice of martial arts which was defining for me which like made me a human being was the first thing I was ever really good at that became the the way I live my whole life live life like you're about to you know you're about to do the most danger thing you could ever possibly imagine so you have to be obsessed with it to get really good at it I can't not I can't like half ask something I crazy but why do you think you would be good at standup were you a class didn't I didn't think I was going to be I Nei I didn't neither I had a very specific idea that the only people that laughed at me were the people that were these sick [ __ ] that I trained with because those are the people that talk my friend Ed shorter and my friend Steve Graham Steve Graham is still one of my best friends this day um when I was a little kid I used to make everybody laugh at the Taw no school I would do these impressions of my instructor having sex with one of the students you know I never did of that I would do it like you know in their you know in the voice and with their accent and [ __ ] and it would be like one of our friends was your instruct want that blue belt was he Korean your instructor yeah well it wasn't that guy it was the another guy that I actually made fun of who was like more of an assistant my my instructor was Korean and he we really respected him he's an amazing still an
amazing guy one of the most influential people in my life but I used to call fellow students as him and I be like you know as a a as a TR you know yeah my friends would freak they' be like hi sir how are you like why is he calling me he never called anybody that's we definitely have that in common that we used to do impressions of people that we knew yeah that's what's like the first kind of humor you recognize something goofy that someone does and so you repeat it and I would put him in ridiculous scenarios but my first comedy came from high school my my when I was uh in high school I was not a funny kid I was a much more troubled kid than I was funny but when no but I was an artist and when no one was around I would go into Mr hallman's class Mr hman was this really wacky science teacher he's really [ __ ] crazy and I knew how to draw him and I always forget that you're a really good drawer I always forget that oh yeah I I wanted to be a cartoon art I mean um a comic book artist I was I dedicated a lot of time and it was one high school teacher that sucked that uh completely turned me off to it I was like I can't do that thank God for him yeah thank God for maybe not I mean I would have enjoyed being an artist maybe I wouldn't have had to you know be so uh I can't see you in a sitting in a at a drafting table all day yeah maybe maybe I don't know I don't know I don't know I enjoyed it though I really enjoyed uh illustrations um uh what was my point the by the way illustrations are hypnotic aren't they I mean you can paint all day like I I know painters who said this guy um I can't remember Dam's name you're GNA make me go off tra Mr hman oh okay I'm sorry I just have to remember this so I what I would do my first stab at humor was I would draw pictures of this dude on the board like pictures of him but [ __ ] other students or and then there was a guy named Mr White who was this really short dude who just got back from Vietnam and he was [ __ ] crazy and Mr White I always Drew him standing on a chair or standing on a a stool I always Drew him standing on top of something and he was always screaming about Nom you know and uh people would [ __ ] howl and I would put it on the chalkboard I got suspended because I drew the Spanish teacher
Spanish teacher wore like a ton of makeup like unbelievable amounts of makeup like like a clown and then I drew her like her face with all the makeup and then I drew a werewolf this is her without makeup and [ __ ] it was really good like Fang the first time I knew you were really funny before I had even seen you do stand up we were at the UFC and and you were we were sitting there and we were on a bus we were going we were going back being shuttled back something and this is like back in the day when Randy Couture like had his first fight literally and and I remember uh somebody goes Joe what are you going to do tonight he goes and you were like um I think I'm going to get in a horse stce push my balls into my body and read nii with a bandana around my head I was like I was like I was like [ __ ] yes that's my favorite kind of humor say intense too we get St there's a lot of dudes who thought they could do that they thought they could pull their balls into their body dude I used to try what are you talking about there's nobody who's more Obsessed the only person more obsessed with martial arts than you was me can you pull your balls anywhere I can't do any movement with my balls no you can't do that you have to push them in have you ever tried Tantra you ever tried like squeezing your your your strengthening your your C muscles so don't let any come out does that work you make it stronger look it's what every guy does who doesn't come right away okay that's what the [ __ ] it's called maturity it's learning how to I remember being younger and just [ __ ] I i' the minute I smelled a girl I'd come I'd be like oh [ __ ] don't move too late isn't there some sort of a physiological benefit to not orgasming and letting your body like assimilate the combo well the idea there is there the idea is that Fighters the Samurai and all the idea is that you can boost your testosterone and apparently the seen goes up your spine not true at all not true at all but believe me I believed it and used to say it for years I remember in t we used to not we'd go like two weeks without like you know jerking off or getting laid and just make you really it feel really aggressive I wouldn't do that I tried I
couldn't on fight science on fight science John branas that that show they they had guys not have sex for like a week or something and they measured their testosterone and then they had them like calm and stuff and and and there was no difference they actually that's they actually have tested a difference scientifically fight Sciences what the [ __ ] they're talking they they've shown there's a physiological difference but it only lasts for seven days after seven days it normalizes but for seven days you get a higher level of testosterone it's like your body is like come on last chance to not be a [ __ ] let's go get some come on come on let's go get some come on I I would think that your body's producing more testosterone to to develop to build sperm but then again I'm not a [ __ ] doctor yeah I think it's it's also to increase your uh competitive Drive in order to get some more [ __ ] it's like your body recognizes like that you haven't scored you haven't tried to reproduce so because you haven't tried to reproduce your body's like listen let's [ __ ] amp this gorilla up and get them fir probably getting you ready to fight in case another male comes along yeah yeah yeah cuz cuz [ __ ] scarce like in Alaska or Boston where hopefully you and I will be yeah we're going to go you're going [ __ ] list I'm going I'm coming I'm coming I'm coming hunting with you and I and let's let's let's let's move this conversation over to to a little show called pig man holy [ __ ] talk about that Weaponry by the way got 40 of them I talked to Rella about and he [ __ ] hates that show Steve rello who's the guy who's the host of meat eater he well because they're in helicopters dude but he's a fair Chase Hunter I mean he's what he does is everything he does is like stalking he stalks his pre he doesn't wait in the tree stand with a pile of food laying there and then blow them yeah yeah yeah who we're going with oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm coming oh he's an animal you know I'm going to be there yeah you got to go he's he's a great guy too very intelligent guy he's not like a typical you know just like hunting you know he's uh he's a guy who it's very sacred to him the whole the whole like he went to a ranch once and they put him in a tree stand and then he said well at 6:00 a.m.
the deer come around cuz that's when we that's when the feeders open up and he realized there was electronic feeders he like I can't do this he wouldn't do it whereas like Ted nja just [ __ ] launches arrows through those [ __ ] yeah I mean that's literally target practice it's basically pigs it's actually domesticated pigs that came feral well the pig man shows different I mean this is they're actually they're actually rting the the that area of a pest right yeah they have a real problem and they give the meat to like poor people I think yes yes they give the meat to needy families and it's good meat it's good it's wild pork it's delicious but the uh the pigs are a huge problem they destroy crops they uh they disease they spread disease and when they plant the seeds they go in they root and they pull the seeds out of the ground and eat the seeds pigs will eat anything and they're [ __ ] huge so they have to eradicate them so in Texas it's legal to hunt them from a helicopter those guns are unbelievable they're just taking these [ __ ] pigs out while the pigs are running they're blowing their brains out the pigs do flips they kill 200 pigs plus and 10 coyotes on One show I don't like I like coyotes why would you like coyotes cuz CU you imagine if your baby was outside by itself and a coyote came along how do you think that would bab's not outside how do you think that would work how do you think that would eat your baby every coyote do you want Lions near your baby [ __ ] himself every coyote that ever lived I will put a bullet in his [ __ ] brain if I catch no they have great pack structures they're [ __ ] good F good Hunters baby eating [ __ ] each and every one of them people make up anything to [ __ ] kill to kill something like they eat babies I have proof leave a baby alone coyote coyote show where we kill called baby killing baby killers that would be a satisfying show if you just left a baby in a pen in the middle of a street and the coyotes just come around and you pick them off with sniper rifles like hey he deserves it this [ __ ] was going to eat the baby eat the baby he was he's coming for the baby what do you want me to do here oh that's good yeah I I'm not into coyotes man look when your dog gets eaten by a mountain line you
have a a it's you have a different perspective get a pit you oh I haven't had those before yeah pit bulls are great how about when you come home and one of them killed the other one yeah that was a lot of fun my living room was a puddle of blood that's the dog I told you to adopt she was she was a coffee table yeah she was a coffee table with teeth she was a crocodile with a with foot long legs she was actually a crocodile she she had a crocodile head she was clearly a half crocodile sweetest talkg about remember I called you I go hey this when we were completely [ __ ] I was like hey get down here now I knew cuzz I couldn't adopt him cuz I had a I had a female she was so sweet and you like I'm taking her that dog loved me that was a problem she loved me and she didn't want the other dogs around because they would get some of my love to she was devastating too huh when she' fight oh she would fight to the death she was ready to fight to the death over you patting did fight Frank oh yeah yeah yeah only people fight other male like male females fight they fought to the yeah it's bad it was bad I had to I had to put them both down I had put Frank down too you get tired of that [ __ ] right they both tried to kill each other it was horrible it was and I couldn't trust him Frank was like devastated after it was over she won she beat the male she did yeah yeah left him for dead he was all [ __ ] up he was in the hospital for weeks yeah yeah I never I never thought that they would fight I never thought the male and the I would separate the females but I never thought the male would fight with the female and they fought you know what they fought over the pool guy pool guy came over to to clean the pool they were petting they petting the the pool guy pet one of them and she would fight Frank if if uh if she wasn't getting pet yeah well she got [ __ ] up man when she was in that pen or in the uh the pound for a while she was [ __ ] up cuz it was one of those shelters where they didn't kill the animal they kept kep the animal around and she was a fighting dog before that so she was a fighting dog and then all of a sudden she's in the pound and then all of a sudden she's at this house and This Guy's super sweet to her and loves her and pets her and feeds her food and she said these other dogs
you better get the [ __ ] away from I don't want to lose this yeah yeah and it was she would have been a great pet on by her own but with the dog you need me alone usually that's my experience I've always had I had I had two pit bulls for years and I've had different sets of them and they just they just try to kill each other I got so good I got so good at getting like choking them out each other I mean but I just they'd be fighting and one time I was on a date and piggy and my my my my [ __ ] German German Shepherd this working dog this badass [ __ ] dog okay that I I like found this kennel that it was like long line of just nothing but IPO and shz and Sport dogs this dog was a [ __ ] wolf and by the way had knockout drag out fights with my dog piggy who was a pure pitbull and a fighting dog and this dog held her own no problem meanwhile I'm on a date what do you mean why would you let them find out how how do you know that they I thought they were two females I you there when it happened oh dude what would happened was I'd come home and it looked like Vietnam there'd be fur everywhere blood everywhere and they both be like and basically half dead I'd rush them to the vet they'd be like that'll be $5,000 all cut up like literally and so when they'd fight sometimes I was on a date this girl Fu beautiful girl remember and all of a sudden I just hear and I come running out and all I think is vet bills and they just gotten out of their cones they used to walk around they look like like Nixon and a baseball combined they literally just look through jowls and like stitches oh because they had you what you're saying is they swoll up swell up they had to shave them and then they'd have these crazy stitches on these shaved heads and necks and just swollen with these jows it was awful the jows because their face get I had to drain it they had [ __ ] pills and they were in these cones and knocking everything over and and and so they get in the fight and I was I was in the front yard for 20 minutes trying to break them up cuz I choke one off then that one would lose Consciousness and then the other one would get get a hold of it and I have to choke that one on the other one we getting 20 minutes and my hands after and my buddy came home Bob my buddy came home and actually
helped me break them up 20 minutes later we're all [ __ ] up my hands were so I I I've been trying to like fight him so badly I was literally fighting for my in the my hands couldn't didn't work for for a week well you're a [ __ ] garden hose ah dude what separates them right away yeah tried it many times with my dogs and they were like ah this is just cooling us down all right in their mouth really in their mouth guess what I talk to the trainer he goes yeah sometimes when you do that some dogs think that the other dog is doing it to them and so they [ __ ] go harder yeah I had both those break stick it didn't matter because they'd be holding on you remember when we went to that guy's house who was a he raised fighting pit bus and you got one of his puppies yeah cuz the advertisement said this is how [ __ ] Joe and I were the advertisement said pit there's no bull in our pits bred right out of the box Joe and I like fighting dog we're in your stupid like impossibly fast acur or some [ __ ] and we're just we drive forever out there this guy's clearly a dog fighter SL criminal SL whatever serial killer and I buy this dog to even as a puppy wouldn't let go of your shoelaces and it really looked like a beagle it was really weird it was a small dog so anyway Brian can't take this dog he has a dog for a little while but it's just too much work he's really irresponsible he doesn't so he gives the dog to his friend on the farm and then what did the dog do well my friend called me and goes hey bro your dog's no longer with us I go what he goes yeah I had to shoot it I said why he goes oh I don't know well let's see got a hold of the baby cow um and then uh well no I'm sorry let me start again it killed one goat then another goat and that goat got caught up in its in its uh rope and then started bleeding as it died and then the cow started moving so the dog was like oh baby cow grabbed on of that then the the neighbor the German Shepherd came out to protect the cow and your dog broke both its legs okay its Pine legs and he said and I had a 555b dog that looked like it was 100 lounds it was so full of blood it was just it was just so swollen with blood lust he said I'd never seen anything like it couldn't get it off then then after the German Shepherd goes back to the cow the baby
cow so my buddy is trying to get it off the baby cow yeah you have to you have a real responsibility when you have a dog like that those dogs they have too too much of a history of blood lust it's too hard for them to break that great with people watch dogs but hell on wheels with four four legs they're great with people you just if you have a dog like that you have to have it in a secure yard and you have to be with it all the time cuz otherwise you got a monster you use them to hunt boar or fight other dogs that's what pimples are by the way that's also Pigman you ever see when they hunt them that way they hold them down with the dogs and then they cut the thing neck yeah it's not as crazy as the watching the the helicopter [ __ ] the helicopter thing was insane it really it's a whole show too it's a whole half hour show those those are military style weapons those are like he talking about this is an M4 with fully automatic with I was like all right when they hit the pigs and the pigs were running and then they would do the somersaults when they would like brain them and then the pig pigs would go face down into the mud and flip it's pretty [ __ ] nuts man one Pig they get to this one Pig this giant boar and he [ __ ] turns stops running and faces the hell IOP like face down the helicopter look at this [ __ ] no way they opened up on him and then you see them twitching and kicking and [ __ ] they got them in the water some of them went in the water and as they're in the water you see their heads explode in the water like this is the most Carnage I have ever seen on television and this is [ __ ] crazy to watch yeah it is you know and there they're [ __ ] rednecks so they're hooting in a hollering while they're like P nja was like people thinks it should be illegal it should be illegal not to do it he's not exactly a a middle- of the road guy you don't kill a 100 Pigs before breakfast you're a communist just [ __ ] shooting shooting at them out of this he was having a great time yeah he was like if I with too many bullets Mrs nit will divorce me I was in Portugal and I saw a bull fight and I was surprised at my own reaction I got really mad at how they were treating that bull it made me feel really bad for the bull and I was [ __ ] actively
rooting for it to kill one of those guys well they do on every now and then yeah they do the last one when the guy had I don't like hurting if you're going to kill it just shoot it you know don't hurt it you've seen the horn where the horn goes through the guy's eye that's the craziest [ __ ] I've ever seen in my life W oh by the way he I think I believe he came back and fought like couldn't fight anymore but he fought a symbolic uh thing and they were all cheering for him Jesus Christ that's a badass if you want to read the the definitive book on bull fighting and it's really worth it it's called death in the afternoon by by Ern his timing away one guy it's a an amazing book one guy had it through his mouth through his lower jaw coming out of it mouth yep that those guys that's a badass that's a badass sport I will say it's not a sport it's a crazy custom that you could invent to it's one of those things like circumcision where you could invent it today do you know that a law in Spain you can you're not allowed to approach a fighting bull on foot as a human being you have to approach it either on bicycle or in a car or in a motorcycle why because those fighting bulls are smart enough they can they watch they they watch how you move and they learn very quickly they learned very quickly how so the first time a bowling in a ring sees a man it's the first time he's ever seen a man on on two feet so he's not he do moves yeah and uh there's a whole thing that they do with that you know yeah that's important you don't want to have that an even fight do you know do you know they used to pit lions and also Bears on with Bulls those fight baiting guess guess who won guess who won every one of those fights pit bulls no the Bulls I mean the Bulls when they' have Bulls against a lion or bulls against a bear oh Bulls Bulls won every time Bulls beat lions time Jesus Christ every [ __ ] time that's what Hemingway says and the thing they they they they they you're you're not you're not [ __ ] with a with a they can lift a horse speaking of which Speaking of which did you see the YouTube video of the bull elephant that took the Mac Truck got under it with his tusks cuz he was mad at the Mac Truck cuz he fell out of it and and flipped that [ __ ] over he fell out of the truck yeah they were
trying to load him on the truck I guess and he fell out of it and was like [ __ ] this and he got under that Mac Truck and it's a real Mac Truck and flipped it and so turned it right over on its side so if you have any question about how strong by the way they weigh 10,000 lb a bull elephant weighs 10,000 PB ladies and gentlemen Jesus Christ is that big enough for you I wonder who would win an elephant or a bull and they're really smart you can train them and do all kinds of crazy [ __ ] well what's really smart about them is their memory they can see another elephant which all looks the same to us but they don't see it for 10 years and then they run into it and they run towards each other and hug each other they can do that with humans too that's crazy man they know who you are and they don't like certain people and I was in the San Diego Zoo and I was watching them we paid extra to go and see them how they clean them and how they you know teach them to bring give them your hoof so you can check them and stuff so vets but they always have a barrier they no joke there's no uh video is there a um it's got to be yeah there's no uh it's not put elephant I think flipping Mac Truck or something yeah that's why I just put it H or flipping truck elephant versus truck elephant I had to do it for um I did it for uh True TV they sent it to me oh really yeah well what is it like um they sent me the DVD what is a true TV it was like a show thing I did this thing called world's dumbest like world's dumbest oh like one of those VH1 things where you make fun of people and they just have Comics like Mak comments and stuff that stuff's on the way out you think so yeah TV's on the way out it's doing well though all those silly shows are on the way out what do you think is going to replace the internet yeah yeah what's that mean for us I don't know means that our podcast man thoughts at Brian Ken I got to come up with that's calling it now man thoughts you changed it from the Bri show to man thoughts I can label it now oh we couldn't label it the Brian show before not as much this is more specific and it's kind of what I think about and and and I'm you know man thoughts can comprise a lot of different things but I'm trying to think of what I'm I'm going to I got to make some t-shirts that I would wear cuz I you
know I don't know and not that I even want to sell them I just I'm just going to like I'm particular about my t-shirts how about just little tiny [ __ ] all over there you go little tiny ones a SE how about an image an image a really cool image an image of Ronald Reagan but it's all made out of [ __ ] no I should have called my podcast [ __ ] [ __ ] yeah why not dick [ __ ] that's a funny name for a company dick [ __ ] but doesn't um someone has dick house or something like yeah that's uh is Johnny Knoxville yeah yeah yeah my buddy uh my buddy's doing a movie with him yeah you can get away with that it's weird like you could I watched uh CNN the other day and it was uh there's a band in Russia called [ __ ] Riot [ __ ] Riot and [ __ ] Riot they broke into a church yeah they got arrested they got arrested two years and yeah they got they got sentenced to like two years in jail and so everybody was having a demonstration they had these giant signs that said free [ __ ] Riot and here CNN is showing this on CNN and I'm sitting in front of the TV and these giant signs say free [ __ ] Riot and I'm like wow that's hilarious like what a weird loophole way they because they called it [ __ ] Riot they have to they have to show what these guys are that's blatantly obscene yeah it is three [ __ ] Riot but it's on the news you know I was on a plane one time and the guy started having an argument with the steart before we took off all of a sudden he's just saying he's not being a dick he's just saying some things like well I'm not trying to cause a problem here you know it's not like oh there's a I'm going to cause a riot whatever and so next thing you know Marshals are on the plane they take him off the plane like what's going on well you're not allowed to use the word Riot um there's certain we have certain trigger words that we have to report uh because you could have been a terrorist you were trying to incite violence and this is the kind of [ __ ] bureaucratic [ __ ] we deal with Jesus Christ happens when you have these blanket laws and these absolute rules it's like there too many [ __ ] laws there's too too much ridiculous how many pages the and I'm reading a book about it I think it's not a bad not such a bad law there's a lot to like about it but
you know how many pages the Obamacare Act is you know how many pages when you get the bill 2400 2 now who who reads it nobody thank you that's a good and especially you don't read you also don't read the Clauses you put in there um who reads it uh uh the the a handful of reporters from the New York Post who put out a book called Landmark that I'm reading now that really explains what the Obamacare Bill does and what it means for us wasn't that the thing about bills that they they'll sneak [ __ ] in that has almost nothing to do with the name of the bill just so that they can get it in stuff they've been trying to get in before yes my father said the best thing about it my father said Washington he spent a lot of time in Capitol Hill and he said in in this is the podcast he goes Washington is in the business of intent what that means is that you have a bill you want to create create universal healthcare you want to do whatever you know these are good ideas that is the intention whatever what happens with a Goliath a Goliath like like the federal government is that there are so many vested interests that find their way into that law so if you want me to vote for it that's fine you got to do something for my constituency which means I got to put this clause in page 500 nobody's going to read it anyway don't worry about it and before you know it that law that passed just like the marijuana laws there is a cottage industry that grows up around those laws that have a vested interest in keeping that law no matter whether it makes sense or not and that's what happens that's all of a sudden everybody's drinking out of the government trough it comes down to very simple questions not Republican or Democrat this is why you say do you want majority of our resources in Washington under this massive roof or does it make sense to spread the resources somewhere else that's the big question and I happen believe it's better to keep resources out of Washington because something that big can't help but create the real problem is you can't untangle it now it's so far everybody's got their hand in do you think do you how do you do you know the kind of tax breaks pharmaceutical companies get because they they own the FDA nobody else can
break into the drug business you know why because they own the scientist basically that say yay or nay it takes what 12 or 13 years to get a drug patent you've got to go through all the tests and their their scientists go wait a minute got to be very careful they all take money from fiser Etc you yeah of course well that's what we were talking about before the podcast when it cames to our our hemp force uh protein it's we have to buy all of our hemp in Canada because the pharmaceutical companies have bribed these [ __ ] corrupt politicians and made sure that it's illegal the federal federal government by the way the state government is voted for it and the whole thing is supposed to be that states are allowed to make their own laws the federal government is not supposed to interfere with things along these lines and they don't give a [ __ ] they'll put you in jail if you just grow hemp which is a cousin of marijuana it's let me tell you another story that's really interesting the friend of mine unfortunately has pancreatic cancer I lost my other friend to it um about three months ago but suddenly my friend's mom stepmom has it and and she went to a a doctor doctor gave her a chemo protocol uh just like with my friend was given a chemo protocol and these are very good doctors that a very well-renowned hospital um and the drugs cost a fortune they F wasn't working that well they finally get into this the the most famous the most famous doctor in the world for pancreatic cancer at UCLA whose chemo protocol is uh extends a lot of lives Way Beyond what you're supposed to with the pancreatic cancer he he said basically he said why are you on this he said he said he said oh I'm going to change your chemo um and it's going to be a lot cheaper and they said what do you mean he said well Eli Whitney put out a something that called cost $30,000 a year but it was the exact same thing as the generic drug or whatever the the other chemo was that was $300 a year but Eli Whitney claimed it was better so every doctor to this day I'm I'm G to just follow me every doctor to this day um prescribes the Eli Whitney drug which is at 30 times more expensive now ready the Eli Whitney was challenged in court this doctor was one of the people to say it's it's [ __ ] it's actually not as
effective not it's this one which is much cheaper it's been around much longer it's just as effective Eli Whitney paid a fine for it it was worth it to Eli Whitney to pay that fine and be dishonest because people still they're not following all the tort laws and they're not following all the cases doctors all over the country still prescribe the Eli Whitney drug even though even though it is not as good as the one they could because they don't know anybody better because they thought because Eli Whitney hired this huge marketing campaign they thought that's the drug to do now the real problem is that nobody calls them on it that's right well if even if you do it costs them $20 million when they make billions of dollars so so again these are massive companies that that don't really that have you know have basically hired who they want to defend them and behave inappropriately I'm being I'm not saying all big farm is bad I'm not saying everybody's there I think anytime you have four major players and nobody can get into your [ __ ] industry it's not good for capitalism it's not cap capitalism it's not a free market and it's not good for our health and it's not good for Humanity as a whole so there that's what it is the real problem is how do you untangle it I mean there's so much money invested in keeping government exactly the way it is there's only one way how is that you got to starve government now that's that's where the libertarian notion of the K insute basically says there's responsible tax La you have to have some taxes uh but but you the only way the only way we're ever going to get out of this and not become Western Europe or wor is by by starving that that massive Leviathan of resources yeah it is a problem when you create a bunch of different government jobs like you know there's a lot of people that rally to keep drugs illegal and one of them is the unions that control guards prison guard prison guard unions and they they spend a lot of money from their dues that they get from their workers in order to keep drug laws the same because that's what keeps them working and what's bolstering their argument is not a philosophy it is it is self-interest yes absolutely self-interest and it's
scary that that works it's scary that that would be allowed it's scary that that doesn't prompt some I mean if you were an insider trading guy and you just knew that some company was about to go under and you got rid of your stock you could go to [ __ ] jail for that how come you can't go to jail for that how come you can't go to jail because you are you're you're you're working to keep Dr drug laws which everybody has shown are ridiculous and most people believe are completely ridiculous despite the massive amount of propaganda what you do the way you do it is you you you you get yourself informed get yourself informed get yourself organized and what happens is it takes a long time but pretty soon more and more people start to say even if I don't smoke weed this is a ridiculous law that's put so many people in jail for a long long time not only a tax paay extents it's ruined families and everything else and uh when are we going to come to our senses and realize that this should not be illegal and and if you get enough people behind a politician things start to change the way you do it though is through information and also I my biggest problem with government now is I feel I don't feel like I'm represented I just feel like well you're not yeah the no one is anymore I mean Obama's not even represented that's where special interests are that's that's the problem they're supposed to cancel each other out and they're not yeah him as a human he's not represented I don't I don't think that guy has any say in what the [ __ ] happens I really don't I think the whole thing is completely ridiculous you can't do a thing without Congress I mean you know that's not necessarily bad I mean but you don't necessarily want a president to have too much power but the president sets the agenda and the the president's responsibility is always been to set the agenda but also also at the end of the day uh there are a lot of decisions where he's presented with six different options from six different interest groups and he's got to make a decision and piss off the other five yeah but he's don't don't chew in front of the camera bro that's disgusting I know I got I got I looked at that pickle and I was like I got to have you can't do that you can't chew in a microphone I know it's a little the
United States won't won't to't they won't take that it's probably patri act [ __ ] this uh this William Benny is this guy who's the NSA mathematician that I was telling you about earlier um I've been obsessed with this guy since we have had David Seaman on on Monday who's a Congressional candidate uh in Florida and this former NSA director after 9911 this guy is a mathematician you know a um one of the world's renowned ma mathematicians and what he did was create uh a method for the government to uh track dangerous individuals and track people and and and but it turned out that the government just used it openly on everyone and so he had to leave what a surprise they just decided to just literally every phone call that you make this guy's correct and he is the guy who [ __ ] coded this [ __ ] if every phone call that you make every text message you make every email you make goes into a database and the government is in Utah building a gigantic structure that will literally house everything you do say watch online all your internet history all that [ __ ] will be stored so if they ever want to just anything they want to know about you anything all they have to do is just pull that [ __ ] up guys if you want if you want to see somebody who really sat around and thought about this stuff and made the argument for why that's not good just YouTube Milton fredman well let's before that before that let's not get people confused let's let's have people just check out this story and the guy's name is Benny b i n NE Y and just go and and read up on this because just this alone is going to [ __ ] with your head and what are they doing out there it's important chopping wood no you hear that banging yeah it's like someone's got a drum [ __ ] wise don't you think they could keep the kids from banging on a drum in the hallway no that's passive aggressive [ __ ] right there buddy that's what that is they don't they don't like the fact that we're in here having fun kid screaming you know what my mother used to do to get my father to get back to my dad for years the household I grew up in my dad would always travel and pain in the ass a lot of pressure and everything else my mother would um she'd always have part of the house being worked on by men she just have part of the house always not in repair women love that [ __ ] and my
father be in a bad mood he wouldn't know why my mother's like oh I'm just having the kitchen redone for the second time yeah they they know they love doing that they love it they love like changing things because they're not they don't have yeah change the wall they're nesting yeah exactly it's a different like you could you could live in a log cabin easy right what when I was in college it was three guys okay we didn't do the dishes for one month we had we had Sprouts growing out of the train for real okay finally my girlfriend came over she was like so appalled she goes I have to clean this I can't take it I can't be around here it smells like a green house yeah I mean you know guys are guys are pigs folks so so this bny guy you got to you got to there's there's YouTube videos if you don't want to uh to sit and read something National Security Agency whistleblower William Benny look into that because this is uh we we we've turned a corner in our society where this is uh it's an us against them [ __ ] and remember it shouldn't be and remember also that every every totalitarian state and every state that took control and power over people used used Nation security and and domestic security and the threat of terrorism Etc as an excuse to take away your Liberty it's so old school you would think always been done I I would think that that generation had already moved out of business you know I I I hate to think that the generation coming up is going to go business as usual because in my mind this generation the generation that's of age of adult age now grew up with the internet and that generation is a different group of human beings vastly vastly different than anybody that grew up in the' 60s or 70s complet Thomas Jefferson said that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance and part of part of that what he's trying to say I think in a lot of ways is that you you may have your freedom but just know that it can be taken away from you uh a lot faster than you think so you've got to be very aware of the signs read that's why you read history gives you perspective and you real and you can you can recognize patterns and destructive patterns and destructive right but nobody saw this coming nobody saw the ability to do this
coming my mother saw it coming there are a lot of saw them monitoring that the NSA had mathematician a lot of people there are a lot of people that saw this coming I talk to but the fact that it's already going on unless William Benny had stepped out and put his by the way they broke into his house and stuck a [ __ ] gun in his face too the FBI came into his house and raided and he never did anything wrong didn't do anything wrong it's uh the whole thing is crazy we we we have a just really [ __ ] creepy Corr corrupt government being in control of of that which governs you which is what our country is based on has always been a very tenuous fragile Arrangement and it's got to be defended every minute of the day and and they just need to stop it just needs we we need to we need to have new people in government and with this new the new transparency that exists because of the internet you're going to be able to still run things but you can't run things as corrupt as they've been running forever and everybody just want to keep doing it just like we were talking about circumcision or bull fighting or anything that's ridiculous that's old it's in Nature's government the it it's not people it's the bigger it becomes the bigger it becomes government needs a job and what is that job to either tax or pass laws both of them are course of measures you you you are going to have the bigger government grows the more history shows you the bigger government grows the more the more you know you the more power they get over over you as an individual and that if just pick up a history book man yeah but is there a way to pull it back that's the question that's that's the biggest question that's the biggest question there's a way to run things there's a way where people pay a fair amount there's a way where we keep a real military that keeps us from you know ever being at the mercy of an evil dictator or an evil country is there a way to do that and still be a good country and still not be completely and totally corrupt yes or yes you educate yourself and you and you get informed stop with the educate yourself that's not going to stop them from running over you you don't have that much power you got to vote for you got you got to make noise is voting real well if it is why
did Ron Paul I mean why did he lose two states that he clearly won do you know that there's uh there's plenty of evidence online and there's plenty of videos and show that show in Maine and there was one other state where Ron Paul should have won and they they they hit it they covered it I think that our voting is I think that our voting process is fairly is actually compared to most parts of the world compared to most parts of the world did you see hacking democracy hacking democracy makes a very strong argument that the bush carry election was bought maybe that that if you watch the V it's a documentary on HBO when they showed that they they engineered in a third party entrant into these uh voting machines and the guy on the show The diebold had to change their name they're not DBL anymore there're something else the guy on the show showed how he can alter the results of of any election doesn't surprise me yeah it's so what are we we do that's a good question the internet that's what I think I think the only thing that's going to save us is the young people coming up know that this is a different world know that this is a world that if you're going to be a politician you're going to be completely you got to be transparent everything's going to be transparent every move you make and you can't get away with doing things that we've done for for decades and decades before it's a totally new game yeah that's the only thing that makes sense to me you know I think you're right the the idea of overthrowing the government like that is that really [ __ ] necessary like everybody's getting Bonkers about that you're not going to overthrow the government first of all it's not a question of overthrow there are ways to overthrow or change the power structure or make it smaller Well's also people recognize in this country especially that we are the cops we are the military it's not the actual Elite is these creepy bankers and there's only a [ __ ] small handful of them and if the military doesn't listen and if the government doesn't listen there's then it does take your phone away from the table please my phone take your phone yeah it's make that if if that's if we do that turn off yeah so phones um especially uh CDMA
phones or GSM phones the there's a signal that picks up it's does it in your car sometimes ever do it in your car in your stereo it goes oh that's my phone yeah that's your phone your phone it's a it's it's AT&T phones if you had yeah if you had Verizon it wouldn't do it as easily so it's sort of a different frequency apparently yeah CDMA is an older frequency the the frequency that uses but apparently it uh it's different in that uh it's um it's more robust goes deeper into buildings but more countries have GSM like my iPhone has both so if I go on the road it's Verizon phone so if I go on the road if I'm in England it'll work in England because they only have GSM they they gave up on our stupid CDMA really yeah yeah um but just I just uh when when it comes to these these [ __ ] conversations they always seem so circular like they never really go anywhere frustrating because you don't you don't really know what the hell to do about this problem that that's the that's what's scary about it and that's that's the biggest threat is the growth of the state the real question is does does voting really work anymore and if voting doesn't we got a real [ __ ] problem it's a really good question because what you start to realize there's not a major difference between candidates is there no I mean all of a sudden you go well this there's not a big difference people are disenfranchised I mean people aren't voting uh young people aren't as angrier in the streets because they there's not a you can't really necessarily make a difference maybe that's how people have always felt I do think people felt that way in the' 60s actually which is why they got into the streets and and they try to make a lot of noise but I'm not advocating that either they didn't have the amount of movement that we have today they didn't have the ability to do things organiz look governments were taken down with Facebook I mean Facebook took down governments Twitter took down governments there are a lot of people are arguing and making very good arguments like the KO Institute this libertarian Think Tank about what that that's why sometimes you just say philosophically philosophically nobody wants people to go hungry and stuff philosophically though as Government
gets bigger more and more people will start manipulating and getting their hands into the cookie jar it doesn't do anybody any good man govern yeah there's no way there's no way to stop that once it gets to a certain size manable government should be treated like a necessary evil not this massive socially social uh machine that that Engineers equality uh artificially it can't do that never has been able to do that and it's not and it shouldn't do that how gross was that Obama statement if you have a small business you didn't build that by yourself well exactly you know why because he's never run a business himself that that's my my knock on that guy don't think he's a bad guy don't think he's not a smart guy I don't think that guy's ever lived in the real [ __ ] world he was a community organizer and an academic I don't want that guy running running [ __ ] yeah I and if and if Romney wasn't so so crazy with his religion and stuff I I would be like well he was kind of a stud businessman but I don't even know what he stands for he hasn't come clean with his tax returns he's a great he's a [ __ ] Mormon he's a Mormon he's an old creep he's a creep his wife is made out of plastic his whole family lives in the dark they're crazy yeah it's it's it's it's and he's just going to do whatever the [ __ ] they tell him I always tell people if you want to know about Mitt Romney there's a video online where he gets confronted by a guy in a wheelchair who needs medical marijuana and Mitt Romney shrugs this guy off like he doesn't exist of course he'd have to so well I don't believe in medical marijuana and he just gets away from he's a robot but I will say that in in Massachusetts the guy actually spent a lot of time on the other side of the aisle and got a lot of [ __ ] done including Universal healthare and balancing the budget you can't take that away from him and by the way he was a stud but you know Bane capital good and a lot of jobs I don't think that but I don't want on a federal level I don't think you get that that kind of ability that's maybe not I think you can really be u a real Governor I don't think you could be a real presid presid I just uh I think when it gets to that level when it comes to especially with things like
War governments don't have to do state governments don't have to worry about war when you get to a federal level and you're dealing with multi-billion dollar contracts and you're dealing with you know the pull out of the troops Afghanistan it's what I was telling I talked to this my buddy who's a real CIA guy and and I had him do my podcast and I called him Mr Pink because he just was like you know it was really weird he's so smart and he's he's really the real deal and I said what do you give me give me some stuff about the Iraq War we went in there because of this and that and he goes yeah he was like this he was like yeah I mean I guess you could say that but really you know what I think it is I go what he goes I think it's just a bunch of interests that get together and it's snowballs and before you know it a lot of people are going to make a lot of money on this notion and a lot of people get an idea and somebody picks up on it and they they just assume it's true and before you know it you got this [ __ ] machine that ain't going to stop for anybody and and he was really kind of matter of fact about it and I was like geez this is an inside guy who spent seven years there and here he is telling me this he goes he goes listen dude he goes they they spent $100,000 importing sand in so that they could play volleyball in the desert you're like yeah we talked about this once before how much corruption and how much you know waste there is and you know we've all heard of the $500 Hammers and all the stupid [ __ ] that you know was on no accountability man yeah no accountability it's government you know the idea that it's all tax money and what happened with the banking industry I mean investment banks used to have to gamble with their own money then they became public and all of a sudden they're using your money to experiment and you had these Cowboys who were like let's [ __ ] leverage it 40 times I'm being simplistic but that's kind of what happened man yeah well Benny was talking the mathematician who uh the NSA guy was talking about other uh things that the NSA had funded to try to do the same thing that didn't work that they spent billions of dollars on billions of dollars of your dollars by the way that they don't that's the craziest thing about your taxes you pay whatever you
pay 20% you don't know you don't even [ __ ] get a you can't even request it you can't say hey I would like to know you know what how much of my money you spending is there a website I could go to like maybe they don't send it to you but you could go oh hey Mr Ken yeah well you paid $70,000 in taxes last year and your money went to you know no no go [ __ ] yourself they don't even make it up for you there there's a there's a just take it YouTube again besides this spinny guy also YouTube Milton Freeman who won a Nobel Prize for economics and just just YouTube him and listen to his debates just listen to his debates it's really easy to follow and all he talks about is personal Liberty they go you're a conservative because I don't like that word I'm I'm I'm I believe in Liberty so whatever I am I'm very liberal yeah it gets weird when you when you go conservative or liberal because people like to attach themselves to ideologies and they will find uh like an area where they can operate in they feel more comfortable being a liberal they feel more comfortable being a conservative and then they they're they they don't have no open-mindedness like teams they're on a team exactly exactly they just lock on to team Mac I'm on team PC I like Android phones I'm a Windows man myself I got a Windows Phone whereas whereas if you talk about Liberty you're talking about a philosophy and an idea that that that's that's what I like to talk about I like having discussions based on the ideas and philosophies the underpinnings not not don't don't label me Republican Democrat don't even a Libertarian I want to talk about ideas and and and develop a philosophy a Phil it weird that that [ __ ] [ __ ] works that cons conservative liberal [ __ ] Works look and it works by the way with liberals just as bad as with conservatives nothing drives me [ __ ] nutty more than hypocritical liberals who talk about Republicans being prejudiced and then they're completely prejudice against anybody who has any ideas remotely different from theirs that's right it's so weird that whole like artificial sensitivity you know like you you've you've you've adopted what is like a Chic style a cool style of thinking you know this is the this is a progressive style you people we also
my father was talking about tyranny of language there's a tyranny of language in this country where where one side will Garner a sort of a patent on we are the progressives we are the well I hav to believe I hav to believe we should legalize gay marriage and drugs and a lot of other things makes me pretty Progressive but at the same time I want a small government so that I could be considered a conservative as well cuz I want I don't want I don't want all these vested interest in my father but that's the question is how do you un how do you uncurl but if I start talking about if I start if I start talking about small government people go you're a republican well no I'm not actually because I'm pro-choice and you know a lot of other things so don't call me and and I'm not a Christian so let's let's relax with this stuff you know so so there is a tyranny of language in this country and and there always has been in political in political culture you you you there's a really good book called don't think of an elephant did I ever tell you about this book no it's written by David from who talks about and I think his name is David from forgive me if it's not but he talks about how how effective it is when you when you say this is the Patriot Act how do you vote against against the Patriot Act for example you're not going to vote you're not a patriot if you vote against the Patriot Act and there are a lot of things you can do as a as a political force to hijack your position by making it very inconvenient and sound bad when you vote against your you can't vote against the Patriot how do you change it Joe how do you change it I don't know I'm still trying to figure it out I the only thing that I think is you got to change young people and you got to have the people that are going into it like this guy that we had David Seaman who was on on Monday he in his 20s 26 years old wow that's that's running for congress yeah that's the guy and very articulate very bright that's the kind of guys you need you need young kids that are coming out of college and that they they understand the way the world Works a million times better than some [ __ ] dummy who grew up in the land of books and crayons Amos Oz who's a famous Israeli writer was saying um he said the way you beat they were talking about
Hamas and Hamas a terrorist organization they said he said well I he had a problem with Israel going and and assassinating Hamas leaders and he said the way you you you beat Hamas H is not with guns cuz Hamas is an idea and they said what do we do and he said the way you beat a bad idea like Hamas is with a better idea and that's a really powerful statement it is powerful come up and remember that this country this this country is is an idea this is an ideal and and in a lot of ways those men in those founding fathers solved the political problem the Constitution is an amazing thing and it's being jacked left jacked but remember that it's a very powerful idea and keep fighting for it Obama has done more to harm the Constitution than any president before him what he's done by passing The National Defense authorization Act is nothing short of what you should have considered as treasonous what would what someone in the past would consider as treasonous the ability to detain people with no warrant the ability to hold them with no recourse whatsoever they don't have the right to a trial they don't have anything that we're supposed to be standing for in America for foreign enemies no no no no no no no it's for any one that they deemed To Be An Enemy of the State wow National we we were allowed to use that he is now rather allowed to use the military to quell any any descent inside our you sure Yesa titis done he's trying to get it through no it's passed National Defense authorization that everybody passed it Obama said he was going to veto it didn't veto it no one vetoed it no one passed it I don't think they get a say I really don't I think when you got a company like halberton that has [ __ ] billions of dollars and they're they're profiting in in Mad crazy ways from this [ __ ] War I I don't think anybody gets to say I think that influence the influence of that money is so strong and so sharp they can't avoid it I hope you're wrong I'm not wrong I'm not wrong at all but you may not be wrong and and so in that case not to be cical how do you not know about this we've talked about this before I mean reading reading reading this this book reading this book I just keep talking called called China Study is a classic
example this guy does such an amazing job of of saying what you're saying how we are no longer all of a sudden your kid at school is is being fed all different kinds of food that is not only making them sick but fat Howen but listen man you can give your kid food okay that's that's a terrible thing and everything with your kids fed at school you can bring a lunch that's not as bad as what the [ __ ] is happening the ability to have people arrested with no recourse man you're we are literally literally in dude I talked to you about this a while ago man National Defense authorization act it's a terrifying thing that was passed terrifying all this [ __ ] that's going on with Wikileaks they're trying to pull this guy out of the Ecuadorian Embassy in London they're they're letting everybody know that the rules are fake like well that rule well he's actually wanted for sexual assault in Sweden Sweden's not he's not wanted for sexual assault don't say that he's wanted for surprise sex surprise sex is you son of a [ __ ] shut it off you can't you're junky I was trying to look up no I was trying to look up the uh that act talking about surprise sex is what he's uh wanted for what do you mean surprise sex what apparently he had sex with a chick with a condom on and then they were sleeping in bed together and with no condom He Slipped it in and there's photos of her hanging out with him two days later like all ping around like what he did was kind of creepy but guess what you're not supposed to sleep naked with a guy if you don't want stick his bone in that's just what dudes do we're gross we're gross creepy animals wanted of course he's wanted well it's not even that I don't know how many times back when back in the day I'd be like I don't have any diseases don't worry about it let me just feel it for a second just for a second roll the dice that's what he did he's a scumbag sex scambler but a lot of guys are there's a video of him dancing scum you mean a guy yeah a guy just regular guy there's a video of him dancing by himself it's just him on a dance floor getting his groove on and it's so dorky and creepy you watch and it's just like oh geez look at this guy he's so weird French or where is he from is he Swiss think he's American isn't he
American I think he's Swedish Assange yeah I don't think he's American you are a [ __ ] agent of disinformation you work for Fox new I'm just saying I think I don't know let's want John Stewart debates John oy uh Bill O'Reilly and he does such a great job really jokes n he [ __ ] made fun of fox in such a good way though he just exposed him yeah and i' read to a bill oh he's Australian that's AUST I knew he had something something weird going on might as well be American have you been to Australia love it you do yeah went to Sydney they're [ __ ] they have Australia is uh they're like a little more relaxed than us a little more down to party little you know they're fun people man they're just different I like Australians I've actually never met an Australian who's a dick I two friends that are really famous in Australia and not famous here arge Barker who's like kind of does well here Ed but Eddie yeah and both of them are [ __ ] especially arge arge is gigantti in Australia yeah man he's like [ __ ] Justin Bieber over there like he can't walk down the street in Australia yeah and they love him in Australia but America he's like barely hanging on you know he comes over here just [ __ ] half filled crowds and [ __ ] doesn't make any sense he goes over there he fills out auditoriums every night really yeah he's so out some crazy [ __ ] like 18 nights in a row in a theater there that's a million dollar yeah at least I'll do that yeah it might be more than a million by the way 18 nights yeah Australia I'm coming it's like 2 million I've been offered a couple times and it's just like I'm always like we're going to fly my first class well we don't have it in the budget I'm like [ __ ] you that budget well it's a $25,000 [ __ ] ticket in first class that's why they put you on one of those a380s and you get like a little apartment that's what first class is but if you don't do that then you're stuck in a cramped spot for 16 hours and it sucks I'll do business class business class I flew first class to Thailand when I was doing hangover too and I that was that was that I I got off the plan I was a year older that was so [ __ ] long it took me and I was sitting first class and it was like luxurious and everything else I had all Tai taies airlin whatever it was
it it was unbelievable but you know what too long yeah it's and you feel like [ __ ] for days you know they say that the radiation from those planes when you're flying in high altitude the radiation is way worse than the radiation you're getting when you're going through the metal detector well the air is also shitty too [ __ ] [ __ ] air and you got to drink a lot of water I do because that a lot of The Hangover feeling that people get dehydration yeah dehydration drink a lot of water eat something very nutritious Alpha Brain helps a lot it's fantastic for jet lag really yeah fantastic for jet lag and fantastic for when you don't get enough sleep because it's one of the one of the main um reasons that you have that sort of like a foggy misfiring sort of a brain when you hung over or when you jet lagged so your neurotransmitters Mike young said he goes you and Rogan I've been with you guys on the road you guys don't need any sleep I don't know how you do it I was like I need sleep but if I'm having a good time I can go I can go cuz I was in Afghanistan and I I didn't sleep for probably a week like like just very little I was still working out I was just so pumped and Afraid at the same time so my adrenaline was just literally pumping for a week so I didn't even need any I'd wake up two hours i' be like all right when you got sold out shows and you're going to do uh big giant [ __ ] crowds waiting to see you you get fired up man I don't care if you're tired yeah you know and you have to you know I felt I felt sick with a fever I got on stage an hour and a half later I come off and I'm like I'm 100% right now yeah you feel better yeah it's uh no one is ever going to understand that feeling unless they've actually done it but there's a giant responsibility that you have after a while when people are coming to see you you remember when you would go to a comedy club and it was just like you happened to be headlining but nobody knew who the [ __ ] you when I went out on that stage in front of your fans in Denver it was so loud it hurt my face I could feel the I could feel the soundways on my face that was 2000 ravenous fans ravenous fans and the minute I walked out there they thought I was Joe Rogan they were on their feet literally like like I was like oh okay this is a
this is a whole different level yeah we to tell people what we're talking about we we we punked the crowd and Brian went on we said ladies and and Joey Diaz brought me up but Brian went on stage instead so it was uh I I recorded it actually it was really funny though it was uh it was hilarious because it like they went on for a little while but then they were like hey wait what the [ __ ] is going on here hell's going on let me see if I can find it you guys don't forget about the 10-minute podcast we're number 15 You're Number 15 now 10-minute podcast is number I think 15 and last time I checked I was number 14 but I was nine I was nine yesterday so it was pretty exciting are you excited I love it yeah this is you me and see how long it takes before they realize it's not me and just come walking out just come walking out and this is Joey Diaz about to bring me on [Applause] I'm get out there listen to that crowd dude what's going on you little [ __ ] freaks that's what I said and they they still think I'm you going crazy or you're me only people in the front row were like what the [ __ ] going on they were like oh did he lose a lot of weight does Joe have rickets there's still he's still on stage and now I got on stage and then I was [Applause] like all right great your fans are great too they were all they were literally all they all I couldn't get out of the foyer they were you hadn't seen it before and I told I remember telling you I'm like wait till Joey Joey Diaz goes on stage I go you're going to see something that you've never seen before and I remember the look on your face you were like holy [ __ ] this is crazy it's it's it's on a it's on completely different level but did you ever think why do you think your podcast is so insanely popular I don't know um people are connecting with it what are they connecting with I I I am being as honest as humanly possible and uh I have a I got a lot of interests I'm fascinated by things and I think people get to be fascinated along with me on this podcast and they know that if I'm telling you
something whether I'm right or wrong it's because I truly honestly believe it it's cuz I've looked at it I studied it even if it doesn't make any sense like like Bigfoot like Bigfoot talk I'm I'm not willing to say that Bigfoot's not real yeah you know and that for a lot of people like as soon as you start saying [ __ ] like that you become an idiot you know as soon as as soon as you start saying things like you know you think maybe there might be uh intelligent life that's visited this planet thousands of years ago and actually made people out of monkeys get the [ __ ] out of here I don't know you don't know you really don't the fact that people exist alone is bizarre enough to me to to leave open a billion different possibilities for how life is seated throughout the Universe including life on Earth but I'm not afraid of looking like a [ __ ] you know I'm I'm just I'm not scared because I think yeah I think that's one of the reasons I also think that and I'm really impressed with I think a lot of people young men especially want to learn something well a lot of young men are demonized and we got a real [ __ ] problem in this country where we're suppressing masculinity we're not accepting the fact that men like men [ __ ] we like V8s we like Stakes we like Leonard skinnard we like hunting and fishing and and MMA and guess what you being prejudiced about that is just as bad as a man being sexist it's just as bad as a person being racist it's but you're judging and making people you how many times I felt bad for for what I look like or who I am or what I like when I was a young man especially women intellectuals all these different people would like look down on you as if there was something wrong with you that you legitimately enjoyed what you enjoyed without hurting anybody I always felt inappropriate and there's still a lot of circles while I come and I go man I think in such a different way than these [ __ ] people and and I I I don't know it's just I always you feel like you're like you feel like you're doing something wrong when you're younger you're like I just like rolling around on a mat or I like you know well we're not represented we're not represented cuz men when they reach a certain point in time they have to put on a [ __ ] tie and some stupid shoes with slippery
bottoms and go to some job that sucks that's the majority of men and so not really represented you know when a guy gets Buck Wild and lives like Mike Tyson he's not celebrated like well that's going to he's going to crash well it's interesting because people want to censor you right away because I think you're a threat that that's almost like there was a psychiatrist talking about male female Dynamics a lot of times and a lot of women will be really attractive to an alpha male and then what happens is and it's very very common it's a big problem in a relationship what they'll do is and this guy's a coup's counselor who works with a lot of different couples said what they'll do is women will then be afraid that that aggression is going to be turned on them and their children so they'll they'll they'll take it out of the man when they finally take it out of the man the man gives up he like [ __ ] this I don't want to deal with all these things not attracted to him anymore you're not attracted to him anymore yeah it's a it's a grand game so the point is don't lose sight of who you are and what you're trying to do there's there's a great deal to learn and accomplish by embracing your masculinity you learn just as much trying to get your black belt in jiujitsu as you do getting a PhD in in in certain ways about yourself I'm talking about well you learn more you learn more you listen it's all relative but what's important in this life is Embrace what you enjoy and most men are not taught that most are most men are are they they're made to feel terrible about liking certain things and it's by the way it's just as masculine to play the flute if you play it really well no is you know no but but it is I me you know you can there are different there are different forms of and expressions of masculinity it's not doesn't you have to be hit in a bag and [ __ ] you know well I just think not even masculinity that's not even the word it's really honesty because I get a lot of positive messages from women it's like you're allowed to be yourself women should be in like my wife's in all kinds of girly [ __ ] I don't even try to understand it I don't understand I don't pretend but I don't judge her I mean she that's what she's she genuinely likes it there's people who genuinely like country music they
genuinely like it they love it they want to hear it there's nothing wrong with that man and the problem with a lot of people and a lot of liberals especially is that they will mock what you love if you don't like what they like they will try to marginalize your opinion you know and you know they'll marginalize your opin hyper mascul that's the best way to put it that that that's really interesting way they marginalize your opinion and they marginalize you and they do it through criticism and sometimes it can be effective criticism be very kind of uh glossy criticism where they're using big words and and they're they're comparing you to something and you don't really have necessarily the ammunition to fight back cuz you're not as good with language and all of a sudden you feel kind of without ammo well it might not even be that it might be that you haven't even thought about it and they've been working on this argument against who you are as a human being for most of their life because you're the type of person who's always rejected them you're the type of person that didn't think they were sexually attractive so it made them feel bad so now they've decided that these H hyper masculine men who are not attracted to me are [ __ ] ruining this Earth meanwhile if if that guy thought you were sexy and you he liked to [ __ ] you and you would like to [ __ ] him and you were into like this hyper masculine guy sticking his big [ __ ] inside of you then it would you'd have a different thing like well we think differently but as long as he respects my space I'll suck his [ __ ] but no he doesn't want to [ __ ] you so he's an enemy because he gives to you a bad feeling a feeling of you not being attractive a feeling of you being rejected it's the same thing with ugly men who become Woman Haters their whole life they've been rejected by women over and over and over again so they develop this [ __ ] these [ __ ] [ __ ] these hoes they have this this attitude towards women [ __ ] lesbian that [ __ ] that that attitude is not much different than the really homely Ultra you know aggressive feminist woman who wants to attack everything that men are into hyper masculine rape supporters rape culture it's really a lot of the the same thing it's finding someone who's
different than you and conveniently putting them in a box so that anything that they enjoy whether you enjoy it or not anything that they enjoy becomes fodder anything that they enjoy becomes something that that you can use to dismiss them that kind of criticism becomes habitual and it it makes it impossible to actually achieve anything yourself when you when you walk around like such a good critic when you're a good critic that same critic comes back to to criticize you when you really try try to do something well you have to be able to look at yourself and your own nonsense and you also have to be able to look at how other people are going to view your own nonsense and just because you don't like something doesn't mean something is bad you know it just means it's not for you and you can't marginalize someone based on what they like or what they don't like there's some brilliant people that like [ __ ] pop music they are brilliant but they like to get in their car and listen to stupid ass [ __ ] songs and sing along it's fun for them and it doesn't make them less of a human that's right we got a real [ __ ] problem in this country of looking for Fault in other folks instead of first doing our own goddamn personal inventory first get that [ __ ] out of the way first concentrate on all your own issues cuz a lot of times the issues that you have in other people really are a reflection of how you view yourself when you're around that person let me pigy back what you just said because a lot of times we if somebody said um we live in a culture doesn't make you feel good about yourself and and one of the things that um that this culture also does advertising things whatever it might be but we live in a culture that that gets you to think that there's something you have to add you have to add to yourself when in fact it's probably something you have to delete you have to take something away from yourself that doesn't isn't really you and just get back to who you really are it's a kind of a neat way of looking at kind of development and growth look I A lot of times I really think that standup and all the things I do are just bringing me bringing me back to who I've always been in a way like it's a process of sort of um uh distilling like I what I love
about writing and standup is that as I do it I start to realize in some ways I'm I've always been writing about the same thing over and over again but in a way I'm distilling who I really am I'm getting to the Core Essence of of who I really am so now what I do it's really you know at 45 now what I'm able to do is just sit and let things come to me a little bit more I I don't have to reach as much or or I can just be and Trust what's inside of me to do the job well you also get to a point where you stop trying to be someone else that's huge that's so huge and it takes a while man takes a feel and be easy on yourself you know don't be easy on yourself don't don't listen to well what I mean by that is don't don't be too critical of yourself just know it's a process it's a process keep be pain it's going to be painful as [ __ ] be very critical of yourself or you're not going to get anywhere be honest with yourself you and I you and I were never critical of each other we were we were honest with each other remember we always and we still are we call each other and we're like we have conversations where we're not critical because we love each other we're like hey dude let me bring your attention to something you may not be seeing but you know what in in both of our credit you when whenever you've done that to me whenever I've done that to you you're you're always is like yep you're right yeah thank you thank you very much I love it when you do that it's very important it it's huge look I welcome that man that's when you know you have a real friend when someone like you calls and says hey dude you can do better and this is why or you know you're not living up to the dude at first you don't you don't want to hear it and maybe it'll bug you for a couple days it's beautiful learn to learn to love that [ __ ] don't take criticism from somebody who doesn't know what they're doing and don't [ __ ] just take blind criticism or or or people who want to humiliate you or get better be better than you with their stupid words I'm not talking about that I'm talking about somebody who can who's on your side who wants to give you constructive criticism Embrace that [ __ ] man embrace it yeah it's just hard to find like-minded folks it's hard to find people that also have
their [ __ ] together or want to get their [ __ ] together it's hard to find people who are also like on the right track and not trying to sabotage themselves all the time that's what I said before you sometimes you might have to change your gang you might have to change people you work run with well that's why when you and I first met I would get I would get mad these [ __ ] idiots you were hanging out with and there was a difference between you and I so you would suffer all these fools and I would come along especially when I was young when I was me and we met when we were in our 20s I was a Savage you were a ball you were a ball of hate and energy I just wasn't into no one's nonsense if you were trying to push some nonsense on me no sorry dude and you'd see it you just be like I'm like this guy's a problem yeah this guy's just nonsense he's talking nonsense he wants too much attention you going to hang out with him cuz I'm getting out of here Y and that and that's the only way to live you were so good at removing yourself from any kind of suppressive energy dude you had guys around you that were straight conmen it was really unfortunate to see imposters yeah I would be around you and you would bring these guys over like a party at your house or something like that yeah cuz I thought it didn't cost me anything it was fun look at this male Hustler he has hanging out at his house like this guy could be doing anything he could be a fake psychic he's [ __ ] completely full of [ __ ] he just decided that this is going to be his thing man la la so full of that [ __ ] too man full that so full of broken people who's that who said who said somebody took the continental United States turn it on his side and everything lose roll to California well you think about what California is it's two things that that that are weird about it one it's people that weren't satisfied with the East Coast everybody landed on the east coast and they came here to reinvent themselves they came they kept going they they were willing to cross the [ __ ] Rocky Mountains so just that the beginning is just CRA the fact that anybody knew that it was anything cool over here is crazy to begin with that you know the 20s they started doing bo am I used to the weather though man I can I'll take it I
don't want it anymore I want some rain I think uh I like the winter here the best because the winter it rains all the time it rains like once a week and that's what we [ __ ] need man it's not natural to be living in a place where it doesn't rain and and when you really realize that is when there's fires I mean there's always these [ __ ] brush fires in California every every couple years or so there's a brush fire well you and I talk about moving to Colorado dude I'm down but Colorado just had massive fires as well we got to get we got to get ourselves a big plot of land and build some [ __ ] I'm down create a create a village grow our own food yes have pigs we can shoot from a chopper yeah and that's very important well the pigs really can get out of hand when they're feral we got to have a gym jits a gym yes um Range by the way my podcast um the tomorrow or the next day I'm going to be interviewing Nate Mart uh Strike Force Champion I'm looking forward to that Colorado yeah no I'll be in Vegas this weekend at the Paris ladies and gentlemen what's he he's doing Flying is he training in Vegas uh he's he's a coach on The Ultimate Fighter he is yes so I'm going to go in there and meet the guys oh he's one of the assistant coaches for Big Country who's yeah I think so no Shane Shane Carwin of course right yeah oh that makes sense yeah uh Carwin in big country are eventually going to fight Carwin's got um man that that poor guy's had a lot of bad luck he just keeps getting these operations you know really getting injured he yeah back operation he had to get his nose reconstructed and then he broke it in the next fight and [ __ ] it up again it's such a hard job and that's what kills me about a lot of these guys don't make enough money and they need to they just need to what what is um uh uh who do you think is the the toughest heavyweight in the world is it Junior well Junior's a champ and until anybody beats Junior you look at what Junior did to C Velasquez wi junor did to Frank Mir Junior's a bad [ __ ] he's he just he's a better boxer than really good boxer he's really hard to take down and he's a really good MMA boxer and the difference between MMA boxing and boxing with big gloves is you can't you can't protect yourself the same way with just like a high guard and
blocking things cuz the the gloves are small and they can slip through openings and catch your chin or catch your temple whereas like you have the big gloves on you could Peck off a lot more shots right and also an MMA boxing of course you have to realize that with the smaller gloves they can they can they can hit you and do more damage as well there's less padding on the glove so you can't take a shot that you might be able to take with a bigger glove the margin for error is way Slimmer you make one mistake and get clipped right you're done so Junior's the best MMA boxer you know he's the best at MMA boxing whereas like you know Vladimir Klitschko would probably [ __ ] him up in regular boxing it's a different style and also you know deal Frank ERS I was I watched his his footwork is unbelievable oh yeah mean that guy's always moving and hitting the same time won that fight um I don't know I watched it and and I watch it very closely I I I can't make that call I I think that at the the end of the day uh what's his name was the champion you got to take the belt away from the champ they say should decisively take it away well he you know he he mean Frankie lost to him right before I do know I do know that he's the toughest small man on the planet and and I think that uh I mean Ben Ben Henderson's a lot bigger than he is physically you know yeah he is um but but that's part for the of course for Frankie aner so I I don't know man I I don't know enough about fighting honestly to be able to say I I don't know he's going to go to 145 now apparently uh but Frank Frankie is yeah he's got Aldo to contend with then yeah that scares me Alo Al those scary as [ __ ] I don't know what you do with those leg kicks and [ __ ] he's beast and his knees too oh those knees he he knocked Chad menz out with a knee God he's he's a [ __ ] bad [ __ ] K you look every every one of these weight classes like the 55 45 and the 70 they're just Killers man for that matter 85 yeah well that's what the the whole sport is now what it's getting to be now is uh like all these guys who have no weaknesses they have great takedown defense they have great stand up they have great I mean Aldo is world class in Jiu-Jitsu that's that's a word that gets tossed around a lot he's world class I didn't know that yeah he's a very high he I
think he beat Cina he's beaten like really bigname jiujitsu guys in straight Jiu-Jitsu competitions and his his [ __ ] standup game is what everybody scared of I mean it's it's amazing like when he got Mike Brown he got Mike Brown when he won the title he got Mike Brown on the on the ground and got his back in a heart beat and just battered him from that position but the way he got his back I was like that is some highlevel [ __ ] Mike Brown is good Mike Brown is a Mike Brown is also gorilla strong like Eve Edwards was telling me and I know Mike you know and Mike came out to my standup actually in West Palm Beach is great he's a great guyy he's a great guy and and and Mike Mike I've talked to guys who roll with Mike they go he's gorilla strong dude he goes when he gets on you you're not getting off you're not you're not moving that guy is just a gorilla yeah he's strong as [ __ ] and Aldo took his back like like a ghost yeah although he told me about that fight he goes he said his hips were just so good I tried to do [ __ ] and his hips were like [ __ ] you know well the thing that um a lot of people are concentrating on is soccer players that there's uh another facet of uh of of like everyone always said well wrestlers it's important you know wrestlers is a great BAS and you know some people say kickboxing that's a great base but lately soccer players a lot of people are looking at soccer players that eventually get into Jiu-Jitsu and kickboxing because they have so much better movement their Movement Like forward and backward their their their whole game is about jumping through the air and running across a field and dodging to the left and dodging to the right and kicking a ball before anybody else can kick it by the way they also learn how to kick because if you ever try try sometime get a D1 soccer player try to stop that ball and watch how fast it comes to a it's crazy and they know how to place it so they develop this leg dexterity that's why Aldo has that Wicked leg kick his leg kick is so powerful man he just whips it around and slams that [ __ ] shinbone in your leg I talked to yri Faber about that he he was like I thought I was going to faint when he kicked me yeah I thought I was going to literally faint he said it was crazy yeah that's uh that's another new
sort of uh an entry point into MMA is Prof professional level soccer players which Aldo was Aldo was like ready to go professional but then it it seems like MMA is more and more gravitating toward those that can be that are Master Strikers because in a way if you got two really good wrestlers they can kind of cancel each other out after a while like all the more you wrestle in MMA it it doesn't necessarily pay off the way spending time being an excellent Striker understanding angles and all that speed and all that seems to be because you can end a fight so quickly yeah but you also have to have takedown defense yeah you have to have if you don't have taked down defense the Striking doesn't mean anything but it seems like if you have two really good you know NCAA wrestlers or Olympic wrestlers they they're GNA they're going to it's going to be hard to take either one of them down so that's why they're going to stand up now and see you know well you know a lot of the wrestlers they de develop you know insane punching power too because they learn how to throw themselves into a punch the way they would throw themselves into a power double you know like look at Dan Henderson like Dan Henderson who's more of a GCO wrestler or King Mo King Mo's a good example that [ __ ] can punch and one of the reasons why he can punch cuz he knows how to throw his body into things you know he's used to like putting some serious horsepower into his double legs and he puts that into his right hand now b boom just drops that [ __ ] on you that's why when you see guys like Jon Jones and and Anderson and how they separate themselves in GSP it's they are really Extraordinary People there's just something about them well they first of all Jon's very physically gifted yeah the distance his limbs how tall is he I think he's 6'3 but his limbs are he's got longer AR maybe 6'4 but he's got longer arms than semi schil who's a heavyweight it was the K1 heavyweight uh Grand Prix multiple time champion because no one could get in on semi semi's arms and legs are so long that everybody got [ __ ] up trying to get them including guys like bhari and he dropped them with like front kicks to the body and [ __ ] cuz semi 7et tall well John has longer arms than him and he's 6'4 wow he's got crazy long arms and
legs and the reach when we we measure reach in MMA we only measure from the uh shoulder to the hands you know to like the fingertips like how far you can touch but that's not real reach for MMA because you got a factor in the legs and Jon's legs are so [ __ ] long he can kick you from a place where you can't even touch him I remember watching him fight Shogun and he looked like just in a completely different weight class like a different human being yeah and by the way he's only been striking for four years Shogun is you know a long time MMA champion he's just crazy gifted he's very gifted he's a super athlete he's just one of those guys that and it's a The Perfect Storm of being a smart guy being uh a guy who works hard who has good coaching and is a great athlete all of them together and with with crazy physical attributes you know John every time you see him is better you know you see him six months later he's a way better fighter than he was six months he also loves what he does it seems like he's just so enthusiastic no if that's the truth he should have taken the CH sunon fight next weekend yeah he he passed on that fight on eight days notice which I I thought I could see his point of view but I would have if I was in his corner I would have said you this you're going to beat this guy like this is a guy who's coming up from 85 you're a way better fighter than than him and you're going to make it look like a hero that you you know you accepted this fight on on short notice and you get to silence chel sun in what's ever GNA he's talking a lot of [ __ ] about you you just shut him down beat his ass and that's all done you know it's a and it's an opportunity to make some money but he didn't he felt like it was too big of a change to to change up with 8 days and it could have been also that CH had been taunting him and so he didn't you know didn't want to like yeah also also there's if if it's also if he loses if he wins ah big deal you know he was supposed to if he loses it's a big deal yeah but if he wins it's still big he just still establishes himself as a bad [ __ ] and a scary dude because is what he is you know the way he shut down Rampage the way he shut down Rashad the way he choked out Mach I mean I just don't see that ch and being able to deal
with that skill set I think CH if he had a full camp and really got a chance to really bulk up two 205 for legit where he's you know then it would be a different story but in this you know in MMA MMA though I'm just saying that anything can happen in this sport right so as a fighter you're aware of that you know and and you have to contend with that directly and and emotionally and all those you have a rematch clause so you have a rematch clause so if CH submits him or something like that he's got a rematch clause and the the rematch is even bigger it'd be [ __ ] gigantic I also think maybe maybe that card in the UFC seems to be very aggressive about putting on a lot more events than they used to and maybe they could maybe they could scale it back a little bit I I don't I don't think they can I think with fuel TV with the responsibilities they have for FX yeah there's more demand there's there though or is there is there more demand or is there just more obligation because of their contracts that's the question good point good point but there is more there's not just obligations because of the contract there obligations for the amount of Fighters that are under contract for the UFC that you have to keep working you can't have a guy under contract and not have him work but once a year [ __ ] how's he going to survive you know Fighters have to fight at least two three times a year I mean and you don't you can't do that unless you put on a lot of events yeah the UFC has more than 250 Fighters under contract and I think it's more than that now that's a lot that's a big responsibility you know people knocked in a white and stuff like that but that's a big responsibility he has to all those Fighters and and now the wec doesn't exist anymore so because the w EC doesn't exist anymore now we have all the 35s all the 45s all right the 55s had already been assimilated what is it why not CU they couldn't sa business the WC no they just figured it didn't make any sense to keep the two of them together when you know you have guys like uh like um Donald Cerrone you have guys like Benson Henderson these great Fighters that were fighting the wec now look Benson's the UFC champion now I mean obviously these guys weren't getting a shot at the top can you see what Benson did when he got there he won
he won the whole thing so Benson being the wec champion and now now being the UFC champion really lends Credence to the fact that you know it was a good move to bring those guys in about Bellator and those other organizations there's some really good Fighters over there Mike Chandler's really good he's the uh the lightweight fighter he's uh he beat Eddie Alvarez who's also really [ __ ] good those two guys are both world class and uh and then there's um were you expecting more from the 85 Bella fur came over yeah yeah Hector Lombard he was he was hurt apparently he had a crack sternum oh wow yeah and he fought anyway just he just didn't have sternum think about that yeah so it wasn't much he could do yeah apparently he just didn't have anything in the gas tank I'll tell you what though his [ __ ] takedowns were ridiculous and his takedown defense was ridiculous and they say he's 5'10 he's 5'8 he's 5'8 and I saw him down in American top team I made a good study of him a ball of hard rope I've never seen anything like it he's he's as he's as much he's he's an extreme mesore what he is like he's thick and strong I looked at his legs at American top team training and I just looked at his legs and I was like he I mean Thiago Alves is my boy he's a thick guy he walks around about 205 and he's about 5'8 okay uh Lombard is a lot bigger than he is L back is so ridiculous his Judo skills are so sick that his Tak down defense are ridiculous Olympic Yeah Tim Bo grabbed a hold he's like nope I mean Bo is a big guy coming down from 205 he's a big 185 and you know the when when when Lumbard wanted to take him down he took him down grabbed him clamped his arms together Up in the Air Boom it's like but he just didn't do enough didn't do enough and lost a decision but he's still a scary [ __ ] and I think uh his next fight he's going to open up a can on somebody Anderson's next fight is who knows um there's uh he actually offered to step in and fight before he knew the card was canceled he heard that they were without a main event he said uh he's not in 85lb shape but he can make 205 so he said I'll fight any 205 pounder and he wasn't even in shape like fighting fighting [ __ ] as in talking about fighting who Jon Jones no he wouldn't have fight Jon Jones because he said he wasn't in shape
to fight that guy but he said he'll fight any other 205 pounder so if they could get an opponent for him some 185 you know some 205 pounder wants to step up he won't fight machita there out of the same house they won't fight Mach but there's a lot of other guys at 205 they they could have put a if if he had called up just probably a couple days before they probably would have done that but they were be fight for him that we that would be interesting we haven't seen Anderson yeah anybody at 205 for sure there's a lot of good fights at 205 what he did to Forest Griffin and what he did to a lot of 205 well I would like to see him against like Glover Glover Tara Glover is the scariest fight for Jon Jones at 205 and nobody even knows who Glover is Glover is a monster really oh he's a Monster yeah he's scary he's big he's about 230 he cut down to 205 but he doesn't have any weaknesses his punching power is ridiculous he's got an iron chin he's a black belt and Jiu-Jitsu apparently he was training with Leota Mach and rag doing him that's that's the word yeah but it's a question also of his standup is not it's not just about punching power it's about angles and knowing Glover is a killer he's the one guy that is world class that wasn't in the UFC until really recently because he had a Visa problem he couldn't fight in America for 6 years from Brazil and he finally got uh a fight in the and fought Kyle Kingsbury and just blew him out of the water I mean it was it was a scary fight to watch but he's beaten a lot of highlevel guys he was the first guy to beat soku he knocked soku out he's uh he's beaten the [ __ ] out of a lot of guys he [ __ ] up Marvin Eastman in Brazil he's a beast man he's a scary scary dude that fight is uh a fight that Shogun turned down sh they offered Shogun Glover to Shar and he didn't think it made any sense to him he's like this guy's like world class and nobody knows who he is and Shogun didn't want to fight him Shogun W up fighting Brandon Vera instead you know which was a great fight what a [ __ ] crazy fight that was who won that I didn't see it uh Shogun did but he had some tough times it was uh Brandon Brandon put up a great fight Brandon was there I think he was at the uh I think he was taking pictures with people I think he was at the uh goodlooking kid yeah um big guy you know
he was there yeah he was at Denver he's a really nice guy taking pictures brand is a great guy he's a great he got a bad rap for a while he's a great dude I love Brandon but that was an incredible incredible fight but it's interesting that Shogun was like you know what this Glover Tara guy [ __ ] [ __ ] that it's like you need to set up that fight that's like that's a fight where people need to know who Glover is first cuz this is like got to be worth a lot of money this is a risky ass fight Glover is like the most unknown guy at 205 that's that's super top level and scary I would love to see him versus Jon Jones I think that would be very interesting cuz Glover is a really seasoned Striker really seasoned and tough as [ __ ] nails but he's got to do it soon I think he's 32 now you know JN is uh John's [ __ ] Skyrock listen you guys you got hoo at at 41 right he's [ __ ] up though his knee's torn up now he's G it's going to be a while for him before he heals up I've talked to other wrestlers about Henderson they say there's there's wrestling strong and then there's Dan Henderson strong oh he's an animal they say he's the strongest guy on the planet well his massage guy that used to work on him said he's never massaged a guy he said he's made out of wood so he's never massaged a guy like that the denst human I I know his massage therapist now and she said the same thing she she looks she goes what I think she said to his father he goes what you what did you feed him he goes I didn't feed him gave him a gun and told him go find his own food well there it is yeah he's always like speaking of it when are we eating those steaks I want to know I'm hungry yeah we well the podcast is 2 hours and 22 minutes so we'll just do a little bit more podcast and then we'll cut it Loose do it I'm getting hungry you going to go to to Alaska you going to come with I'm coming with you 100% how can I say no to that you can't say no I'm supposed to shoot this TV show suck my I'll find my I'll find my opening and I'm coming it's 5 days yeah you got to go yeah [ __ ] whatever stupid TV show it is come see do you still doing that death Valley thing no it got canceled what a bummer that was so fun sucked six people saw it but I loved it and 16 I heard it was 16 16 16 people good good good was it good was it a good show I I had one of the
best times I've ever had I played a I played a perverted police chief and it was and I they let me just improvise and do my own [ __ ] it was all like werewolves and monsters it was so much fun you called me up I remember you told me how ridiculous it was and I would I would hold the meeting about our our current were world for vampire problem I just what happened that we got obsessed with vampires and werewolves just in the Zeitgeist I know what it is there was a theory I don't know well I think in those kinds of things a lot of times technology starts moving so quickly and we just you know it's all Technical and stuff and we just want something we want recess we want magic we want we I think being afraid though well first of all I think what happened with with vampires was they're really sexy I mean Braum stoker wrote Dracula in response to the repressive Victorian age it was essentially a metaphor for for how repressive we were on the surface yet how perverted we were underneath and Along Comes This handsome as [ __ ] guy who comes in sucks your blood and guess what you you have an orgasm that's what those girls were doing he'd come in handsome as [ __ ] with a cape and suck your blood suck your neck you remember the Gary and they would be like oh the Gary version was super sexual yes it was sexual it always was it was a response to that repressive Victorian age where everybody was terrified of cph and going to hell and at the end of the day they were all [ __ ] each other they'd be yanking them dresses up and just railing each other like I shouldn't be doing this I swear to God I'll go to church tomorrow well back then they used to put dresses on legs of tables they didn't want people being sexually excited by piano legs they used to dress table legs believe I believe it you don't have to it's a truth it's it's not a belief thing it's [ __ ] craziness people were nuts people have always been in a lot of society has always been obsessed with the sexual problem that's why men and women never were allowed to work together because no matter what when you get PE men and women together [ __ ] happens supposed to supposed to [ __ ] but socities have societies have always been actually most societies throughout history have always been concerned and centered around figuring out a way to to
keep that wall up right it's really interesting and they do with guilt they do it with guilt they make women feel like [ __ ] if they if they have sex they make men feel guilty and a lot of it had to do with a lot of times you'd get a bad disease man that you before penicillin and now they got now they got uh ganara a strain of ganara in Japan that is antibiotic resistant don't [ __ ] in Japan don't [ __ ] in Japan man not yet wait until they cure it yeah exactly they come up with another what is it about today though that the vampires don't have vampire characteristics it's like I was talking about um that movie uh born legacy mhm did you see it no it's good yeah fun movie but this this engineered super killer who is constantly saving this hot chick through this movie constantly saving her yeah just carrying her jumping her throwing over his shoulder jumping a [ __ ] Chasm with her never [ __ ] her and I'm like what is this nonsense she is weeping she's holding on to him they're alone all men they're alone in a house they're sleeping in the same room you're selling a male fantasy it's nonsense you want to save a woman it's a girl fantasy both but it's the girl fasy because he doesn't [ __ ] her if it was a male fantasy it' be7 he saves her then he [ __ ] her but this guy just saves her he doesn't even kiss her at the end of the movie after they've been through so much together they're looking at each other eye to eye and smiling that's it that's it no [ __ ] she doesn't pull his [ __ ] out she doesn't start sucking it what am I doing I shouldn't do this I want him to love and respect me but I want his [ __ ] in my mouth no there's none of that it's but that's the same thing with vampires these vampires they can go out in the sun now and they just Sparkle just want to be with you they didn't want to kill you like they eat deer blood like what the [ __ ] man that was but that was the whole the the reason Twilight was so big is that he was an outsider he was a leper and and and you know he she could only see him at night it was Romeo and Juliet that's what it was but it wasn't Romeo and Julia because Romeo was 142 this [ __ ] is a thousand years old I know okay and she has a dilemma i s years old should I get turned and be with him forever yeah but she's a
[ __ ] high school kid what is wrong with him he's a creepy [ __ ] W listen she was [ __ ] cute it's all un be cool with that and he was in high school no he wasn't no he wasn't [ __ ] you joke he was in high school in the 1800 [ __ ] know he was taking science class didn't he like uh is everyone diying from like the Spanish flu or something like that was like the that was like the early 1900s that guy was old as [ __ ] that's ridiculous listen man the older you get the more creepy again it's like d marera d marera was saying D we we're all hanging out one time a long time ago and there were these girls there and Dom goes those girls good-looking and I go yeah they're they're [ __ ] 21 yeah they look pretty good from here he goes no because at that age you know a girl could have a goat head I wouldn't really give a [ __ ] 21 with a goat head I'd be like that go chick with a goat head's got a really nice body it's fine for me she's 21 you know well it's funny that uh you know they did a thing comparing the way gay men look at men as compared the way women look at men and with women what's important is a guy's eyes his smile his jaw with men with gay men dudes don't even have to have heads they just look at a body if you could find like a hot guy who was headless just stuck his [ __ ] hairy ass up in the air guys would just be stroking and be like yeah my buddy Keith I don't need a head my buddy Keith's got a boyfriend and his name is Stan and he wears his hair over one eye did I tell you the story oh no he does and he's he's Filipino he's really good-looking he's got this bubble ass and big tits and yeah just he does a lot of bench you know he's like he's got a full mouth and my buddy Keith is real my Budd Keith really Macho and he makes millions of dollars and he was like staring at him one time he was like look at him look at how [ __ ] beautiful he is and I go I was like oh yeah and he goes you know why I put up with all his [ __ ] I go why he goes look at that ass and I was like but I I get it I was like you're not even you're not really even gay you're just a dude who [ __ ] guys so I'm not even sure that's like you're just so hyper male that you gota you know oh that's silly he's gay all right well
don't fck with the labels the guy's hairless with a full mouth all right guys a lot of guys are into the Asian guys that's where Asian guys are like cherished whereas like Asian guys have a hard time when it comes to white women a lot of white women are like what the [ __ ] I went and saw I went with some of the cast from The Hangover I went to the [ __ ] lady boy show in Thailand let me explain something to you one day I'd last a day in jail before I was banging the [ __ ] out of those [ __ ] dudes all right one day I'd last I'd be like you know what you look well [ __ ] it in the butt of the mouth who gives yes what if he's got a [ __ ] you you'd be able to look down the little you look dude just put a napkin over or something they're tiny anyway push what if you felt your as you're [ __ ] him in the ass you felt his [ __ ] slapping against your butthole how many drinks do how many drinks have I had how many how much alcohol two drinks I got to have at least three dude otherwise it's gay you got to tell them listen you got to hold on to your [ __ ] [ __ ] the ass cuz it's slapping me in the look bro bro get me some masking tape I'll tape it right to your belly button and and don't don't [ __ ] look me in the eye and we'll go to how uh how how feminine did they look the L they're some of the best looking women I've ever seen in my life so did I answer your [ __ ] question and did they show their [ __ ] like what what is the show no they don't they they tape them down it's lady boys and a lot of them have had the operation already so then what are they then look Brody Stevens asked him he was being like his face was being stroked and I looked at Brody I go listen Brody if if you if you take that girl/ guy home and [ __ ] her tonight you're not gay and I'll defend you to the [ __ ] day you die cuz that's one of the best looking chicks I've ever seen in my life right and he was like no I can't but she is look at her I can't do that but yeah they were [ __ ] beautiful I I a couple of them I was like that's a girl there's no way that's a guy it's impossible that that's a guy and they were like that's a guy well we had one on the man show that was so pretty that uh we were hanging out at the comedy store and she was pulling up or he whatever you want to
call her was pulling up in a car and Eddie Bravo was like whoa check out this chick that girl's so pretty I go dude that's a guy I was in cheetahs I was at cheetahs in Vegas okay and that's a big strip club and there was a girl there with a cowboy hat who had a line of men trying to bring her into the into the room to have a dance the reason I knew that that was a guy was because on Mad TV one of our makeup women used to be a guy and and she was friends with this this person who had become a woman so I knew that that was a transsexual and she was also she was Vietnamese she was [ __ ] gorgeous then she later got married to a very wealthy um I think I can say it I don't want to say it but he he was a very very well-known rocker um a guitarist wait a minute and it's a rockar uh not a rockar not a rockar but he was a very he made a lot of money in a band a very popular band he married he married her and which only gave me more respect for him okay really yeah I me who is it come on I I don't want to say I actually no I know but I don't want I don't want I don't want to say because I don't want I don't want them to know that this person was stripping I there's a lot of [ __ ] that goes on with this you know what I mean I don't want to you know well this guy tell youat this guy that had become a girl that Eddie Bravo had seen in the car we had her on The Man Show and The Man Show was uh the man show you see that sign behind it said make me hard see that this sign right here that was the game the game was make me hard and what it was was we had an electronic box over a dude's dick and we would decide when the light would go off there's a red light on it and the light would indicate that he has an erection so we would have like different things in front of him like a [ __ ] eatting a banana you know like all these different things that would give him a boner it's the greatest game I've ever heard it was a fun gig um but when we when we did it we did one of them with the transexual and she was fu [ __ ] hot man I'm telling you you would not be able to tell so she's on this guy's lap okay and the guy is going woo woo they uh she's got whipped cream she puts whipped cream on her tits he sucks the whipped cream off her tits everybody's going [ __ ] crazy the audience is going [ __ ] house
then she pulls out her panties and unveils this this dick that looks like it had been poisoned because she'd been taking all female hormones so her dick was like black and sick it was like it had been like it atrophying it was yeah oh yeah for sure not just atrophying it was like it was completely cut off from the process like withered away see now I have a boner is that weird black it was a black dick and she was not black she was like a Latina something or another but her dick was but dark was like it was tired it was rotting it was like it was rotting away and she pulls it out in front of everybody in front of the crowd and the collective oh a of everyone and the the look of repulsion in the guy's eyes this this this he's he's tied to this chair with this box over his dick with by the way the red light's flashing like crazy now cuz cuz we control the red light it wasn't really when he had corner so the the lights everyone's going oh and there's a dick right in front of his face and this crazy [ __ ] that he had just sucked whipped cream off her tits yeah and now she's got this [ __ ] in front of him by the way they had no problem with that Comedy Central had no problem with that but they did have a problem with hard the reason why that sign is here is because we had to use another sign oh my God because it couldn't be make me hard because make me hard was they wanted it make me stiff that's what they said that was one of the things they argued those are arbitrary things that the standards and practices guys like decide on it's not even standards and practices it's the [ __ ] it's the network and aders you it's not even that it's just a bunch of dummies who want to have their say on things and that's why doing something on the Internet is so beautiful like if we had one of those same Executives in this room and we were talking about things they would probably tell us not to talk about it they would tell us to change the subject they would if someone had to sit down with us and give us like a list of [ __ ] that we could the internet gives you personal responsibility it gives you your own sovereignty and it's what all human beings want and should have if I don't pee right now I'm GNA die don't die all right just over come to Vegas 2 hours and 35 minutes let's wrap this [ __ ] up let's bring this [ __ ] into the
into the harbor check out Brian Count's podcast what is it called man thoughts yeah man thoughts at with Brian K Brian K show it's real simple I know but you're going to [ __ ] yourself by having some other name now you keep changing the name no no that's it we STI we're sticking to this it's good how about the Brian K experience no yeah no it's a Joe Rogan Experience I'm already Jimmy Hendrick it's only one Joe Rogan thoughts this weekend Friday night now added Doug Stan hope uh Friday and Saturday it's going to be me Joey Diaz and Ari shafir Friday night Doug stanh hope is joining me we're doing something for Tosh.0 together on Friday during the day so uh when we're done with that we're going to do the show at the ice house that night and and uh have a [ __ ] party so we will have an ice house Chronicles on Friday that we'll have Doug stand on go take your pills man go don't worry about me brother 10 podcast yeah follow that and follow Brian Callen b r y a an c a l l n on the Twitter um thank you everybody uh for uh the uh the positive messages on Twitter and on Facebook and even Google+ I've been on Google+ lately and um I've been on Reddit lately just for a little bit but I'm going to do a Reddit ask me anything before uh my special is released which should be either at the end of September or the beginning of October depending on when my website is done the new studio should be the lease is signed tomorrow hip hip hoay and we will begin construction and it will be dope and then we will take [ __ ] to the next level you [ __ ] it's going to be a hangout it's going to be like like John Gotti Social Club but for nice people um but I'm I'm [ __ ] pumped about it it's I've never really like had uh my own place before like a real place of my like an office and I'm uh I've got Grand plans for this I'm very very excited and uh got a lot of cool guests coming up survivor man I've been in contact with him he's coming on the podcast we're going to get uh Rich R who is a um a vegan athlete Mac Danzig I got a holler at you as well who's also another vegan athlete and a great fighter in fights in the UFC um uh so we got to represent the vegans uh a lot of people think that I hate vegans I do not absolutely and I eat a lot of vegetables I eat a very vegetable diet but I I like
meat and uh ate that too tough [ __ ] mostly grass-fed though that's the way to go all right this [ __ ] podcast is over I'm rambling so come see us this weekend this uh Friday and Saturday night at the ice house and again Doug St help be joining us on Friday but on Saturday uh it'll be arri shafir Joe Diaz and me and arri shafir and Joe Diaz will also be on the Friday night show uh next weekend Santa barara the low Barrow theater that's uh next Friday night um and uh I'm [ __ ] pumped about that so that's uh September 7th and then Toronto on the TW oh the Crest Theater in Sacramento September 14th Macy Hall Massie Hall rather in Toronto on the 21st Memorial Hall in Raleigh North Carolina on the 28th and Thomas wolf Auditorium in Asheville North Carolina on the 29th and Duncan Trussell says I may move there I may have to and those uh North Carolina dates will be do Joe Diaz and Duncan Trussell all right you freaks thanks to uh Alienware for sponsoring our podcast by providing us with cool laptops and thank you for sponsoring so many MMA fighters uh follow Alienware MMA on Twitter please and thanks to on it.com that's o nni t go get yourself some Alpha Brain or shroom Tech or shroom Tech immune shroom Tech sport get yourself some bone strong get yourself some new mood some kettle bells some battle ropes get your manly [ __ ] on and use the code name Rogan and save 10% off any supplements best podcast in the land and we will uh we will end this thing with Brian K singing short legs but a tired ass and a barel of snakes for we love everybody got a wide face but expressive eyes and no hair on his head he's got big hands big feet trying to talk Brian K into moving in my neighborhood all right you guys we love you and uh this [ __ ] show's over thank you for everybody thank you for every thank you everybody my friend thank you for your time you you good to us and uh gorilla pickles gorilla pickles in the house all right we'll see you guys tomorrow with uh Mike biglia Mike Berbiglia will be joining us the podcast tomorrow and uh and that's it for the week all right we love you [ __ ] see you