Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWtoPKPwTWU
Oh [ __ ] Hello ladies and gentlemen. The Joe Rogan Experience P. Oh, I just to tell you how we do this. We do these uh two little commercials before we actually do the podcast, but they're they're very informal and you could jump in at any time. Okay. So, if you got something to say, don't hold your tongue. I don't hear them. Uh try. Yeah. You hear me now? No. No, I don't hear him on a microphone, dude. Can you hear me now? Yes. There we go. Ladies and gentlemen, that is the voice of the great Tommy Chong. The Joe Rogan Experience podcast is brought to you by the Fleshlight. If you go to joggan.net, click on the link for the Fleshlight. Enter the code name Rogan, you will save yourself 15% off. One of the most ridiculous things you could ever bring up in a conversation, but an excellent sex tool, an excellent masturbation device, and the number one sex toy for men. We're also brought to you by onit.com. That's O Nit. Makers of such delicious supplements as Alphabrain, New Mood, uh Shroom Tech Sport, and Shroom Tech Immune. Alphabrain being my favorite and the the most controversial. What it is is a neutropic. And uh if you're interested in any of these things, I suggest you Google it first. First and foremost, find out what they are. They're essentially vitamins that enhance your brain's ability to function, enhances your your brain's ability to produce neurotransmitters, and it makes your brain operate more smoothly. There have been a bunch of different tests on various neutropics. Uh we are working on doing a clinical trial, a I guess they call it a double blind placebo clinical trial with Alphabrain as soon as we're set on our formula. And uh we we should be doing that shortly. And what it does is what any of these things do is they just enhance your body's health and function. And we know that all these various nutrients have been very effective on helping people. People with Alzheimer's, for instance, have taken some of these nutrients and and shown improvement on them. It just stands to reason that they're vitamins and nutrients that that aid your body's function. And if you take them, it'll work better. And that's what these are all about. If you're interested at all, please go to on.com and check it out. We
also just recently got in the kettle bells, and I've talked about this in the podcast before. If there's a there's the one workout that I could do for the rest of my life, it would be kettle bells, cuz I think it's a it's an awesome workout that's it translates directly into like your life, into like your ability to move [ __ ] and your ability to use your body. It's a it's a a health exercise, you know, because like a lot of bodybuilding type [ __ ] like when you start doing bench presses and curls and stuff, I mean, it can make you look great and get big ass arms, but the reality is your body doesn't really work like that. You're not supposed to like isolate things. I mean, you can if you want them to get bigger, but the best thing to do for athletic performance is to use your body as a whole. That's why when you ever see like MMA fighters training on on television, very rarely will you see them do isolation exercises. Usually, it's throwing sandbags or hitting sledgehammers into car uh car tires or, you know, it's uh it's climbing ropes. It's throwing ropes around, doing battle ropes, doing kettle bells, doing like Olympic clean and jerks, it's all about using your whole body. If you see like an Olympic clean press, like that guy's using everything, man. He's using his legs, his arms, his back, his traps. I mean, it's an incredible fullbody movement. And full body movements are the ones that really get your body stronger for like functional things. Like for me, it's jiu-jitsu. For some people, it's, you know, anything that you like doing where physical strength comes into play, kettle bells will enhance that. It just makes your body stronger. It's awesome. And you can get a good workout in 20 minutes. We have some um instructionals that are available at on.com, but you there's a million different videos on the internet. All of Steve Maxwell's stuff is outstanding. He is uh probably one of the best guys in the world when it comes to kettlebell training. And he has a bunch of DVDs that are for sale and he's a great guy, too. So, if you bought those DVDs and helped him out, it would be awesome cuz he is the best in the business. And there's videos online. You can watch YouTube videos. He's got demonstrations online you can do. There's a there's plenty of workouts
that you could formulate together. And you really don't need to go to a gym. We also sell these battle ropes and those are those crazy things you see Brock Lesnar flopping around and uh some of those uh workout things where he's preparing for fights and incredibly hard workout and where he used to prepare for fights. Yeah, used to he I wonder if he trains like that now. Oh yeah, I'm sure he does. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think he's stopping. I don't think he's done. I think he'll be back. I think not like basketball players. I think he needed to heal up. He needed to heal up. I have a feeling he'll be back. I think it's just Yeah, he's too [ __ ] good. too big, too much potential. You never know. He could still do it. They have, but you know what, man? Getting kicked like that. Getting kicked like that, that would quit me for like two lifetimes. Well, some everybody's got a different path in this life, I guess. Um, anyway, go check all that [ __ ] at on.com. Uh, for the supplements only, use the code name Rogan and you will save yourself 10% off. The battle ropes and the kettle bells, seriously about as cheap as you can sell them. Um, it's it's very difficult to make and ship and hire people to move these [ __ ] things around. You're essentially sending cannonballs through the mail. Yeah. But for the supplements, you can use the code name Rogan and you save yourself 10% off. Also, in the supplements, any first bottle of 30 pills, there's a 100% money back guarantee. You don't even need to return the product. You just say, "This stuff sucks. This didn't work for me. I didn't feel it." That's all you need to say. You get your money back. We're way more concerned with not having people feel ripped off than we are with making money. And on top of that, like I said, I use them. I benefit from them. I know Lorenzo Fertitta loves [ __ ] Alpha Brain. This stuff is spectacular. I I really enjoy it and we're so confident that you're going to enjoy it too that we offer 100% money back guarantee. All right, go to honor.com. O Nit. That's it. The great Tommy Chong is here, ladies and gentlemen. Yeah. Oh, thanks to Alienware for sponsoring MMA fighters, too. Alienware [ __ ] experience. Train by day. Joe Rogan podcast by night all day. We just started using these laptops.
Tommy Chan with this alien logo. I'm like a child. I like little alien ads. Do you like little stuff? Yeah. I don't know if that's like a a stoner thing. What? What is that? I should be over like little alien head. It's an overgrown kid thing. Thank you very much for coming on this show, man. To me to me this is huge. When I was a kid, uh my parents introduced me to uh Chichin Chong movies and and Chichin Chong albums when I was I was a little kid, man. My parents were hippies, especially my stepdad. My stepdad was a huge hippie. And he loved your [ __ ] man. And uh so for me to Is he still around? Yes. Yeah, he is. How's he doing? He's doing great. Does he ever come to the fights and that? Uh no, he's never I think they've come to one. He's not really into that. No, he's a real hippie. Peaceful guy. Yeah. I think he always felt it was really weird that I was obsessed with martial arts when I was a kid. I don't think he really liked it that much, but he loved you, man. Everybody's different. Yeah. Yeah. Everyone's different. Yeah, maybe that's why I pushed the other way. You know who really gets pissed off at the kettle bells? The delivery man. Oh yeah, it's [ __ ] hard. The people at the UPS store, they look at me when I get them in the mail like, "What? [ __ ] really?" I didn't I didn't sign up to work out. These little girls that work there, and I'm so sorry. And you know, and these things are 70 [ __ ] pounds. What are these 70 lb? They go from what 20 to 80 or Oh, they get even heavier. They get you. There's dudes out there that use 120 pounds. Yeah, I've seen him. I I I train at a a place where they use kettle bells. There's this dude uh his name is Mike Mer, and he's all vegan, too, which is kind of cool that he's able to put on this much mass and be all vegan. It's all muscle, though. Oh, he's an animal. And he's got uh one of the he's got some of the best DVDs when it comes to like really like like heavy weight exercises. He throws around some heavy [ __ ] kettle bells. Like you see him doing these crazy exercises with like 125s and that's really hard to do these things. If you have never seen it before, folks, it's almost like you're kind of doing gymnastics almost. It's like you're doing different exercises like
a kettle bell is a ball like a cannonball with a handle. Yeah, that's all it is. Probably was that's probably where they got him, I'm sure. Yeah, probably a handle. And uh and they used him right at the turn of the century. Sandow, the strongest man in the world, he always posed with his kettle bells. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And it's funny how the whole bodybuilding thing went full circle. It started out, you know, back in the Greek uh days and that, you know, they they used like animals to work out with, you know, they pick up a cow until, you know, a calf until it became a cow. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's how they trained back. How do you think anybody figured out that working hard? Who was the first guy that figured out working hard makes you bigger? Well, it goes back to the caveman. You know, they figured that out. You think like cavemen did like push-ups and [ __ ] Oh, no, no, no. They did push-ups meant, you know, like pushing an animal away from or running their ass off. No, it's fight or flight. You know, the humans were we were prey when we were first on this on this uhh earth. We've always been prey. So, it's always been either we fight or we run. until we figured out cities and goddamn do we get ahead of the game. The city. The city. As soon as we figured out cities. Yeah. Well, you know, as soon as he figured out agriculture, really, it was agriculture first. Before that, it was like tribes of people going around, you know, seeing who had what. What's really crazy is that's kind of in dispute now. There's um there's a bunch of uh different uh scientists now that are pointing to all these different sites that they've located where they're saying like it's real possible that like people were hunter and gatherers like way longer ago than we think. Sure. Absolutely. And that there were cities and civilizations in between. Yeah. Like in between before 10 15,000 years ago it probably went back it probably went back to it. Yeah. Yeah. They found uh recently some some new spot that's underwater that's uh 8,500 years old like Atlantis. Well, it's like a it's just a village. It's a village that was underwater. And they say that the you know the earth's sea levels have changed so much that there's like probably like a bunch of [ __ ] like cities everywhere that's just
underwater. Oh yeah. You know it's like we have like a weird view of the past. It's like so peacemeal. Yeah. And it's almost like there's too much stuff to know. And and a lot of most people don't even want to know. Yeah. I get into some of this this conversation and especially my wife will her eyes will glaze over. Yeah. A lot of people don't give a [ __ ] and they'll start looking for some Oh, excuse me for a minute. And then they go, they leave. But all it all interests me though. I mean, I'm really like I I when I was in I was in Paris a few years ago and I went to a museum of um antiqu beyond antiquities where they had the cave drawings and and they had the tools made by these so-called cavemen, right? Well, the the tools they made were made out of uh this rock that's like glass, you know, I forget what it's called, but anyway, that you could do major surgeries with them. They could get them so sharp. Wow. and and the and the way they formed them. It wasn't you know alioop time or you know you know cave that typical uh flintstone image you know these tools were phenomenal. You could put them today and say we I I had these tools made specially by this named artist and everybody would go yeah I believe that. Wow. And how old are they? Oh, I don't know. Million million years. A million years. I mean, it really goes back, right? But I didn't think there were even humans a million years ago. I mean, how far back? I'm lousy with I'm lousy with Okay, so it was just a long time ago. We don't have to say million. Let's just say right right back to the to the beginning. Well, of of what they found, you know, like what they found. They found the rock that they would sharpen the the the spears with. Oh, they were actually speared, long spear tips and but they would get so sharp because they were made of some kind of rock glass thing. Yeah, I know. I know. I've seen it. I don't know what it's called. I don't remember. But yeah, it's it's beautiful. They would chip them and they would get them like literally razor sharp. Razor sharp. And and that's how they killed the the bigger bigger animals. What a weird thing of nature, though. I mean, somewhere along the line, we must have been strong enough to kill [ __ ] Or did we just did we just get stronger when we started eating
things? And were we vegetarians before that? Well, they they found skulls of people uh ancient people and you can see the ones that were eating, you know, with the big jaw bones and and the big uh they're meat eaters. Basically, it is weird that there are meat eaters and vegetarians. It is a weird thing about life. Like things like deer and cows, it's kind of weird that they don't eat meat. Like you could just walk right by them. You don't ever have to worry about that. Yeah, but if they were meat eaters, you'd be [ __ ] You would be [ __ ] if a cow was a meat eater. Could you imagine if a cow was trying to eat you? Cows are [ __ ] huge. If cows had like big hippo mouths and they were just looking to eat people, we would have a real [ __ ] problem with cows. It's weird how there's animals that eat animals and then there's animals that don't do any animals any harm and you could basically just [ __ ] them up. And then the ones closest to humans are the ones that are the really [ __ ] up, the chimps. Yeah. Oh, because they're they're both they'll eat meat. Yeah. And they'll eat vegetables. Well, they'll eat whatever whatever is there to eat. But they'll they'll they'll find another chimp and he looks hungry. He looks he looks good. Let's tear his ass apart. Yeah. If they they they could do cannibalism. I believe it. Chimps scare the [ __ ] out of me, man. Yeah. It's Did you hear about that kid? I got Yeah. Nailed it at the Well, he was attacked apparently that sanctuary is for reintroducing chimps to the wild. They they take chimps that were kidnapped and forced to work in zoos and for pets and [ __ ] like that and experimented on it. Yeah. I mean essentially all chimps are kidnapped. If we admit the chimps are intelligent, right? They are. We know they're intelligent. You know, they're they're it's like they're almost people and yet we just we're allowed to kidnap them and and and test [ __ ] on them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What happened to him if you do this to them? Yeah. It's kind of [ __ ] when you really I guess that's why they get pissed off when they get a chance, you They Yeah, that's a that's a ruthless way of finding out [ __ ] You got to go, "Wow, is that the only way?" Well, like the circus people. Yeah. Ever ever ever ever be around circus people? Like lion tamers. I I seen a met a line
tamer in uh Spain, I guess it was. What a cocky [ __ ] No, it was a guy. Him? It was a guy. And you could tell [ __ ] You could you could you could tell that was a generational thing. You could you could tell who the lion tamer was. Just there's a crowd of people. You look at the guy with the big claw marks across his face. Whoa. No way. Big claw marks right across his face. God. Woo. That So you go [ __ ] terrifying. And and and you can see the the lions because the most exciting part about the circus was watching them unload and load the the animals. How does he how does he control these big cats? Wow. That's part of the gig. You know, just when you think you can trust them, you turn their back. How many sig freed and Royy's have to happen? Yeah. Before people wake the [ __ ] up. And everybody was like, "Oh, the tiger was frightened by a feather in the crowd and so it grabbed him to drag him to safety." Ah, I'm not buying that. That thing's not scared of [ __ ] It's a [ __ ] giant white tiger. What are you talking about? You really think it's scared of a lady with a feather in her hat? Yeah. The [ __ ] out of here. That's a tiger. Decided to just [ __ ] that dude up and that's what they do. You see that thing on television? What was it? uh about a a Bengal tiger. This guy was they had a little uh I was it in Thailand I think was they're all on elephants anyway and they were like one guy was a gamekeeper. He had a bamboo pole and this they watch they had this tiger and they watched him and all of a sudden that tiger Bengal tiger leaped over the elephant and took out one of the guy's arms took out his his hands. Jesus Christ. And and the whoever was filming, they kept filming. Yeah. And and and the and then the the commentator said, "Uh, the animal trainer wasn't hurt bad." And you could see the guy was missing a hand. He was like holding his hand and screaming and the tiger was like up that that high. Yeah. And then they then they uh they dissected, you know, visually the the cat and showed you where why it could spring so high, why it could jump so high. and and it showed the tooth the teeth and the reason the cat could move the way it is the way it moves is that the bones were not connected to the to the muscle tissue. The muscle tissue was all separate and there was no ligaments
attached and so they could so it's all one mass of muscle when that cat they don't have ligaments. They showed that the bones the bones aren't attached to the to the muscle. Oh wow. Well, I don't even know how the hell well that would work. How would that work? Well, they would have uh How does it work if the bone is not attached to the muscle? They just It floats. It It floats. It's free floating. So, the bone is just it's a rib cage. Uhhuh. See? See the mo most bones are are around us to protect our inards or right in you know the the way we're structured. But th this Bengal tiger in order to make that leap it can't be attached to anything. It you know the the strength would tear the ligaments. Oh wow. Apart you see and so so instead of it's a design you know and so instead it's like free floating in in in amongst the rest of the the meat and everything else in there. But it's it was interesting. And and the razor claw the the claws come out automatically. Yeah. Like switchblade knives. They come out and they're razor sharp. Razor sharp. Razor sharp. Like people don't even you can't even wrap your head around this. Ain't a house cat. Then it's a Bengal tiger with the with the fang. And so so when it when it gets the the neck or something like like a big water buffalo or something, you know, it can do damage. Oh my god. But but it showed that cat jumping up and it took the took the guy and the guy's got a bamboo stick. Yeah. I was like, "No bamboo stick, no hand." Oh, it was it was awesome. It's It's pretty clear that those things are put here to clean [ __ ] up. Those those things are put here to make sure there's less things. The less big things. They're big things. Everything on Earth, including cockroaches and ants and everything, is their whole mission is to clean [ __ ] up. Yeah, it's true. Isn't it funny how that is? It is funny. It's like it's all a big cycle. Like mountain lions have to kill the deers and deers eat the grass and Yeah. Yeah. And they're food. They're they're they're survival food like bears. And it's just we're we're so removed from that as human beings, especially lately. And you know this last portion of society, this last hundred years or so where you could buy anything in a grocery store, like we've
so removed ourselves from that whole life and death struggle for meat. Now meat is just sort of become something you just buy. Like we've completely removed ourselves from this primal equation of actually killing the animal, actually taking apart the animal. We're like really kind of delusional about what and using using all the animal. I mean, how many people are they eat meat, but they don't like hunting? It makes them sick. If they see a dead animal on the road or something, they'll turn their stomach. That's weird, man. That's that's a delusional sort of a weird state of mind. That's the thing is the animal the animals, you know, just when they when they eat the meat too, you know, it's not they'll they'll go in for the for the organs right away. Yeah. Isn't that cool? Yeah. And then they'll leave the rest to rot. Well, that's why they figure out um who's the alpha wolf. They'll eat the liver. The alpha wolf gets to eat the liver. Yeah. Yeah. There was this crazy You ever see that documentary, Brian, about that dude who lived with wolves? The guy actually used to uh plant a kill and put a liver there and then eat the liver in front of the wolf so that he would be the one that was in control. Oh, yeah. Did he ever dance with them? I don't think it was the same type of movie. I think you think it it wasn't in his contract. Yeah, it was crazy. And then uh he he had to go away to fix something. There was some wolf he's a wolf expert. There was some wolf invasion in this other area. So he had to go and help somebody. When we came back, the other wolves had decided he wasn't the alpha anymore. So then he had to beg for forgiveness and he had to be a beta. And it was terrifying, man. The dude was like whimpering and whimpering and doing all this moves in front of this big [ __ ] wolf with its teeth bar. It's like and it was so horrific. You think what would it be like to be that man right now locked in a cage with a wolf who doesn't want you to be the alpha anymore and especially a wolf that bra they're so smart and you know the guy was just on his just working on his wits just trying to keep it together while that was going on that must have been well he became a wolf terrible he he obviously became a wolf he obviously did the right thing
yeah he was going put the tail aside turn around amazing Man, it was amazing. He just tucked tail on that wolf and that wolf accepted it. It was so frightening to watch, man. It was really u it's a gripping thing. You know, people on this podcast, the Twitter people go, "Man, you talk about [ __ ] scary animals too much." Listen, I'm sorry, folks. I don't mean to have this as a recurring theme. This is just how I really [ __ ] think, okay? They're scary. That tiger that jumped on that elephant is [ __ ] horrifying. Ooh, that's like an They're like avatar creatures. They don't even look real. He was an acrobatic. I mean, 20 ft. 20 ft. Yeah, it's incredible. From it showed him spring and 20 ft and he went up and boom. It's funny to just nature something like that. That and gone. It's so crazy that nature decided to make something like that. It's It's really ridiculous. It's like everybody else is on a bicycle and all of a sudden this is some thing that's on a Corvette, you know? It's like a It's total ripoff. Yeah. It's not fair at all. A tiger's not fair at all. You know, the fact that we can exist in the same area as tigers. Like there's poor poor people in India. India is a really scary place for tiger cat attacks. Yeah. Oh, sure. There was a documentary where they were wearing these helmets and they had a mask on the back of the helmet because the tigers don't like sneaking. They don't like confronting you head on. They want to sneak up. Oh, so if you so if you're looking at them, they'll leave leave you alone. No, they figured out after a while that it was masks. So they start jacking dudes even though they had masks on the back of their helmets. Big bite on the mask. But they have these they're they have armored um neck things to keep the cuz the cat always goes to kill you. The cat that's the thing about like chimps will just eat you. Bears will just eat you. But cats kill you. They kill you and then they eat you because they have to kill every day. A chimp can find some bananas and not have to kill anything for a while. So they have a different attitude. That's same as bears. Yeah. And that's why if you ever seen videos of bears eating other animals, it's horrific cuz they're eating them alive. Yeah. They're just
holding them down and doing them just like they do a salmon. Yeah. That's their style. Yeah. Hold their hand one paw down and start chewing. That's the only style of eating. They don't ever kill you. That couple that got killed in the tent uh and they recorded they had the recorder on. Remember that? Yeah. Yeah. And and no one's ever heard it. Just the one woman on that Yeah. It was the grizzly man, right? Yeah, the grizzly man. Yeah. And he he got chewed up and it's all documented. Well, no. It was like 6 minutes long. It was I know. That's what I mean. So, it took him 6 minutes to finally find the right place. Dude, that's so scary. Whoa. But the guy the guy had a chance to get out of there. That guy was out of his mind. I think that was like a suicide by Grizzly Bear. Yeah. It's one of It's one of my favorite documentaries. If you haven't seen Grizzly Man, folks, um it's unintentional comedy at its finest form. It is. It's amazing. It's like it is like a beautiful Cohen brothers movie documentary. Like if you you don't have to change a word of it and it would be hilarious if it was right artificial. If you like made a mockumentary and this was the mockumentary, it would be brilliant. You'd have people laughing in the theater. You'd have people going, it's subtle, but it's great. And then even a little over the top when he was trying to con convince people that he wasn't gay. Remember when he was walking with a camera? Yeah. I mean, the [ __ ] dude is literally walking with a camera going, "Well, if I was gay, it wouldn't be a problem. Can't find a girl. If I was gay, it would be easy, but I'm not gay." Like, what are you do? No. No. Straight guy walks around with a camera going, "I'm not gay." That's probably why he was up there. He had an identity crisis. Yeah. Yeah. Poor guy. Figured out. That's a disturbing thing, man. And you see someone who's um you know who's uh burdened by their actual who they are, you know, who they really are. You know, they don't want to accept the fact that they're gay. Well, they're they they've been born into this uh uh mesmeriic hypnotized society that that they they want to fit in, but they don't. Yeah. And they and so they like a lot of the Caesars in the past, you know, cruel bastards, most of them were gay. Really?
Yeah, Nero and the boys, you know, were they gay or were they just like anything? They just [ __ ] anything. Was it they were just savages? Were they just nuts? I think more toward the gay. I'm sorry. Yeah, the little boy Jerry Sandowski kind of. Well, I've always heard that when people get molested by uh like a lot of molesters like when they catch them, they find out that they also were molested when they were young. A lot of them. seems like a cat. So, if you're living in this savage Roman time where everybody's just cutting people up with swords, how many people have morals? How many people aren't [ __ ] their kids? You know what I mean? Well, that's that's why Christianity was so important in back in the day, you know, because it it it gave a whole small amount of people something a moral code. Yeah, they needed something. to anybody who think they were it would have probably taken way longer without any sort of ideology for people just to agree to not chop each other up with swords. It would probably take a long time. Well, that was the whole thing. If you had a knife, you had your sword. You you used it. There was no no way about it. And if you if you weren't going to use it, then you didn't hang out with those people that used it. It's like hanging at a at a bar, you know, and and and the you know, the rowdies and they have swords when they get drunk. No, without swords. But, you know, I mean, nowadays, if they had swords, it'd be there wouldn't be too many around. Could you imagine how ridiculous that would be if people don't just We're We're lucky people don't challenge that. Just start walking around with swords. Well, they got guns in the south anyway. Yeah. Oh, a lot of places. A lot of places have concealed carry. Yeah. You know, and there's an argument for that. Really? Do you think so? Mhm. You know what the argument for it is? That it's already pee in the pool. Guns are already out there. It's not like they're they're you know like you but they're like they're like magnets. Yes. I mean well you know it's just like the martial arts just like martial arts. Same thing man. If you if you know how to fight for some reason some guy in the crowd will find you and challenge you because it's like understands like God there's silly people that have
challenged like Chuck Liddell. Absolutely. silly people that like people really don't realize how ridiculous some people are out there in the world. Suicide. Well, it's not even math. They're just so stupid. They might actually think they have some sort of a shot at beating his ass. That it it sounds like you like there's no way. Everybody knows that guy's a [ __ ] you know, multipletime UFC champion, one of the best knockout artists ever. Really? You think guys are picking on him? Get the [ __ ] out of No, they really probably would. There's got to be someone that dumb. The world is filled with morons. Oh, yeah. Well, you know, the they just can't help themselves. Yeah. They're they're like the wrong way or a Toret. It's it's almost like a social toret thing. Yeah. You know, where they they can't help themselves. They have to say the worst thing, the wrong thing and get whacked. And a lot of that is like what we were talking about just they were abused when they were raised. They were raised incorrectly. Someone didn't give them the proper amount of love. Someone didn't Is that phones going on in the background? Well, you got good ears. Oh, of course I'm deaf. So, are you going deaf? Mhm. Everything's going on me. Yeah, man. You're you're suffering right now from cancer, right? Is that what I got? Prostate cancer. How how far is it along? It's slow moving apparently. I' I've had it I guess for about 6 years now. I can tell you exactly when it when it happened. Yeah. you know, I was in prison and uh all of a sudden my boner wasn't wasn't responding and uh ever since then I said, "Oh, there's something wrong." And you know, the prostate gets big anyway on on old guys and mine was big. And then I went in and had it checked about three, four times and they couldn't find anything. And that's like three, four times a guys with fingers up my ass, you know. So it wasn't wasn't that pleasurable, you know. In fact, one guy told me a joke. He's getting an exam like that and he said told the doctor, he said, "Will you stick your other finger up my butt too because I want a second opinion." So, I got I got to the to the point where I had like four second opinions, you know, and they said,
"Well, it could be there. I don't I don't think so." Yeah, you're okay. And then the my number is my PSA or PS whatever it is some numbers that you get in your I I just had my blood checked today and I'll I'll know tomorrow if if it's you know under control but apparently everybody has can you're born with cancer cells. Everybody has cancer cells and uh what happens when you get older the immune system if it's if it's um say taxed in any way you know eating wrong drinking wrong uh it it will the cancer will uh increase and and eventually kill you. But but the a cancer cell is just like a zombie cell you know it it it doesn't know it's dead. it it's half alive and it and can only reproduce itself which is another zombie and and and so what you do or in order for the good health you know you you eat things that that uh antioxidants kill cancer. Yeah. And you stay away from stuff that that feeds cancer because they're like sugar for instance. Sugar will feed cancer. Sugar is really the worst uh substance on earth. But it's so delicious. I know. Isn't it funny? It's terrifying. That's Adam and Eve, isn't it? Cheesecake is delicious. You know, a nice piece of cheesecake. You got to have sugar to make cheesecake. Yeah. You know, everything. Or you could get that uh Cheesecake Factory has that sugar-free cheesecake. That might even be worse, though. Yeah. Splenda. Splenda bath for you. Well, look at look at uh I've worked in a cookie factory for a while and I couldn't eat the product really. It was so chemicalled up. There was so much crap in it that So, you saw what got put in? I I saw what went in and I physically could not eat a cookie. Is it like Oreos or something like that? There were Oreos or all those marshmallow things and the only thing I could eat was a marshmallow that was kind of organic and that was it. Marshmallows organic. Well, yeah. I mean, I don't know. It it it didn't taste as bad as the rest. It's not the big chemical soup like all the rest. Yeah. Well, you know, it was like lard. They put a big thing big a couple of gallons of lard into the into the big mixer, like a cement mixer, and then pounds of icing sugar into the mixer. Then you mix it all up. Then you pour it into a hopper, and then it goes over top of the cookies, and it comes
down. And so that's how you make that. That's how you make the center of the Oh, the icing. So the marshmallow stuff is kind of organic. Yeah, I know. It's good for the skin. Marshmallow is good for the skin. Really? Yeah. You rub it on your skin. If it's on the skin, it has like a like a mask or something. It was There's something lanoline or something in it that that that's good for the skin. That's interesting. I've never heard that before. But everything else Oh, that sugar was horrible. So sugar is just terrible for your body period. It's it gives you all the all the problems, you know, overweight, diabetes. Chris Leeben lost a fight cuz his body went into like a state of shock because he ate a bunch of sugar after the weigh-ins before his fight with Brian Stan. Like he had really dieted. He had really cut it down to the wire. So, he was just dying to have something in his body. So, you got to think he's been eating clean, watches diet for a long time, trying to get down to weight. He makes weight and then eats a bunch of candy. Oh, the worst. And he was [ __ ] man. He couldn't fight like later that day. Sick. Yeah, he's in shock. It was toxic shock. Yeah, but it's amazing that it's a poison. So, Winry didn't throw up, didn't he? I'm sure he did. I'm sure he did. He fought. He just didn't fight like himself. I mean, he still fought well, but he's just a tough dude, but he definitely was compromised. You could tell if you get sugar, you know, naturally, you know, fruit or something like that, that's a lot better for you. You know, bananas or something. There's always something in there with the sugar, right? that that that that's good for you. Well, that's how you're supposed to get sugar, right? It's when you pull it out and just eat it by itself. It's like, what are you doing there? You're not supposed to get that much. Corn syrup is in everything. That's supposed to be really bad for you, right? The worst absolute worst. Isn't that crazy? I I go into Whole Foods now shopping because I have I'm on a very special diet and I stand in areas that I can't eat one thing in that area. Like all the breads, I can't eat bread, rice, all all the starches. What What kind of a diet do you follow? It's very green. Very green. Kale and raw foods, carrots and and it's actually quite
delicious. Do you make like a kale shake? Uh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. I've been making uh I got a juicer, a natural juicer, you know, worm driven juicer, right? And it does it's not a speed thing. And and so what it does, it it squeezes the juice out of everything. And I juice everything. Everything. They say you should eat the fiber, too. I um the shakes the the shakes are good for that. Yeah. You just cut them all up. But somebody had a great idea. Uh one of the dudes from my message board, he said he didn't have enough money for one of those uh blenders. Like those Vitamax blenders are expensive. He said, but instead what he did is he juiced his vegetables first and then took all the pulp and then threw all that in a blender with the juice. So he like he made his own smoothie. I'm like that's pretty clever. So that way he's getting all the plant fiber. He's getting the fiber too. Yeah. Cuz sometimes like when you juice like after you go into that bucket where all the fiber drops and you like pull all the stuff out like shouldn't I be eating this too? You know I mean I guess you're getting a massively concentrated form of nutrients if you're just juicing though. Yeah. But the fiber gives you that is good too. Gives you that nice turd. You know that's what I'm talking about dog. See when you get older you appreciate a solid [ __ ] You can cook with that. You know that that bucket of stuff a lot of people make like vegetable lasagna. Sure. Yeah, you could definitely cook with it. Yeah. My wife made carrot cake out of the carrots. Oh, yeah. But I couldn't eat it. Because of the sugar. No sugar. I I don't mind. I don't mind at all. So, do you feel better now that you've altered a diet like this? I'm the healthiest I've ever been in my life. That's amazing. And I got cancer. How long? That's incredible. That's a great statement. How uh long has it been that you've been on this diet? Uh, two months now. Two months. Wow. Let's see. May, June, July. Yeah. Three months. It affects you a lot, huh? Three months. No, I'm not hungry at all. One thing about No, no, no. I mean, it affects you positively this time. Oh, totally. Totally. Just when you got cancer, it's just the nights are kind of long. Yeah. You know, you start you start uh telling
up scores and and and realizing, oh, you know, I can see the end of the game. You know, it's a fourth quarter. Wow. And we may not go into overtime. Yeah. So, so you start uh like last night, I had a bad night. I've been doing most of my uh oil, hemp oil or the cannabis oil at night. Now, explain to people the idea behind that because uh I've seen that Rick Simpson uh stuff online. Is he the guy who figured out that uh he's one of them? Cannabis oil. One of the doctor is a doctor. No, no, no. He's a funny He's an old farmer from Nova Scotia. And how did he a right-wing farmer like an old old Canadian a Yeah. A right-wing farmer like he used to be rightwing, you know, that everybody in Canada was rightwing kind of, you know, guns and and [ __ ] like that, you know. And what he did, u he had melanoma real bad. And so I don't know who turned him on to it, but they said, "Hey, try some some hash oil. put some hash oil on it and he was due to the doctor. It was in the documentary uh for an operation to get a most of his uh jaw or cheek or something. Well, no, near his eye. It was near his eye. The skin around his eye was going to be taken out. Oh. And so, uh he they put the hemp oil on it, cured it. Holy [ __ ] Sheared it. Cured two other spots on his body, too. And so he went in with a camera to the to the doctor and the doctor and them threw him out. Why? Because they cured cancer. That's a medical thing, you know. But why would the doctor throw him out? Because if the word gets out, they're charging, you know. You know how much they charge? I just paid 28. But do you think the doctor himself as a doctor wouldn't want people to know about that? If he came to the doctor and said, the doctor wouldn't talk to him. the doctor really he he went over the test with him and said, "You don't have cancer anymore. You know, it's gone totally." Boom, boom, boom. And so he tried to get the conversation going. This is what cured me. And the doctor would not hear it. And the receptionist literally uh called for security. Where was this part of the world? This was in up in Canada, Nova Scotia. I could imagine that. Nova Scotia. Well, Vancouver is very liberal, but uh there's a lot of parts of Canada that certainly conservative or at least were. That's the amazing thing about these guys. So, what he did, he he he
turned his friends on that had cancer because there's a whole bunch of them up there that had lung cancer, uh prostate cancer, how do you is it it's applied topically if you have a Well, if you got skin, you you apply it topically and uh do you eat it as well? You eat it for uh everything else like prostrate. So, for skin, you don't eat it as well as put it top. I imagine you could, you know, I mean, if you if you like these guys weren't Doesn't make you high, right? It's not. Oh, it does. Oh, it does. It is. That's why I do it at night. CBD is what doesn't make you high, right? Is that what it is? The cannabonoids. Is it a CBD that doesn't make you high? That's what it's a THC that get you. So, alleviates anxiety, but you can't separate it. You know, the oil, I mean, it's hash oil. Oh, okay. It's hash. So, it's essentially just hash oil. It's hash oil cuz I call it hemp oil and everybody. Yeah, that's what everybody's been saying. Hemp oil. Well, that's good. Hash and hemp. So, it is the same thing. So, if you if you take this, it's just like eating a strong edible. Oh, stronger. Stronger. So, you got to be very careful. Be very careful. I've had some of those liquid ones. Those little liquid. They come in like like a little vial. The lose a day oil. The lose a day kind. I don't know who lose a day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, you It's This is what it's like. I described it. It's like standing in front of a cosmic waterfall and you're just able to poke your head through to the other side and look at the back behind the waterfall for a little bit and there's another waterfall back there. That's how high you get. You get reality shattering. I get stay in bed high. So self-examinatory. It makes me want to apologize to everybody I've ever met. Everybody I've ever met. I'm so sorry. Whatever I've done, I know I'm not a bad guy. I swear to God, I get out of bed, you know, I I I didn't know how to take the medicine, so they on the video, it showed him take a little dollop on his fingertip. So, I did the same thing. You know, he sent me a whole kit of uh the oil. And I in these big plastic syringes, you know, you decorate cakes with. It's super hard to make though, right? Apparently, they make it next door at the school. Uh they just bought
an extractor. Cheese it, son. No. You want people to know where you are? The feds, they're out there, kid. No, they're legally allowed to do it. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. For real. If someone in Washington DC is listening to this and they decide, let's go and [ __ ] those guys up. There's no law against that. Do you know that? That's the the federal law supersedes the state law as far as their Well, that's my whole That's what happened to him. That's my whole uh uh uh point of my life now is to get this [ __ ] uh legal so I can so I don't have to go around corners, you know, sneak around to get my cancer medication. Yeah. Well, when I was a kid, okay, and I listened to your uh your albums and it was they were albums, vinyl, you know, and who would have ever believed that here would be still in 2012 and all the children who listen to your [ __ ] have now grown up and are still passing ridiculous laws and it's still illegal. They're still raiding pharmacies. I think my my my job on Earth really was I was born around the same time that they made it illegal. 1938 was when they made it illegal. And I was that's when I came out and I've been on the the the pot I got turned on when I was 18 by a Chinese jazz musician. He gave me a a Lenny Bruce record and a joint. Holy [ __ ] And he said, "Enjoy." And I was I didn't know I was, you know, really scared of the joint because I'd never I'd heard about it but I never smoked it. So I smoked a tiny little bit, put it up and laughed my ass off. Laughed until I was sick. Until I literally And then I had my friends come over and we all listened, but I never turned my friends onto the joint. No, I kept it to myself. I didn't want to be the guy, you know. You didn't want to turn them all into a joint. I didn't know where I was going to get another one. And so that that that so it was that you it wasn't that you were worried you're going to turn them into junkies. No, it was that it was too good. It was too good. I don't I don't want to I didn't know where I was going to get another one. I I had no dealer. I never even thought of it, you know. And so so it lasted. It was the best ever. It was the best time. It was What was the What was the climate of like back then? What year was it? It was 56.
How rampant was marijuana? No. Nothing. Nothing. In Canada, you could sit in a concert and smoke it and no one would know anything really. They'd ask you and you'd say, "It's Italian tobacco." And they go, "Oh, that smells good." Yeah. Wow. That's awesome. Yeah. Yeah. You could walk down the street smoking. And then in the 60s, uh I remember when in I was in Vancouver in the 60s and uh the four what singing group? There's a singing group. The four tops. the four tops. I think it was the four tops. You know the I'll be there. Four tops. They were playing at the cave, a little club in the cave. And of course they there are the four tops, black guys from Detroit. So they smoked up a joint before the show and they put the ashtray put the the roach in an ashtray and went and did the show. In the meantime, the maid comes up, finds the joint, phones the cops first the front desk, then the cops came and the cops got the room next door. And so when the Fort Tops came back from their gig, they bust in the room and they arrested the Fort Tops and a Jewish comedian, I forget his name, and they took him down there. And the Tops are telling us the story after, you know, but it didn't last. I mean, Barry Gordy or, you know, Mottown sent the money or whatever it was and it it went away pretty quick, you know, but you can get [ __ ] to go away back then. There was no there was no TMZ. No, no, you could. That disappeared. But the funny thing was they took him to jail. They took the four tops to jail with the comedian. And the comedian had nothing to do with it, you know. He just he came up to the room for a drink or something and and the comedian was saying, "Hey, hey, hey. I'm not with these guys. Come on. Come on. Look at me. Look at me. Do I look like a a four top? I'm not the fifth top. You know, come on. Like Joe Peshy. Could Joe Peshy play that guy in a movie? In a minute. In a minute. That was It was very funny. So the climate back then was much more innocent. It was innocent. But then if Where were you living at the time? Well, I was in Calgary when I got first got stoned. Calgary first time. And I was That's when I quit school. I mean, I'm going in a couple weeks. Everything they said about Calgary. Oh, I'll turn you on to I like Calgary. I've been up there before. I did the Jack Singer concert. I'm doing uh two shows
there. It's awesome. Right before the UFC at the Jack Singer uh concert hall. Oh, they Oh, yeah. Nice place. Yeah, it's Oh, it's beautiful. Yeah. Last time we did it, we we actually uh had people on the stage. They [ __ ] up with the ticket somehow or another. Oh, so you put them on stage? Yeah. We put 50 people on stage with us. It was crazy. It was great. It was so nice, man. You didn't even You feel weird about it. Yeah. Singer. He's a rich guy. Yeah. All those fun place. Bellsburg. Yeah. I grew up in Calgary, you know. Oh [ __ ] That was my You should come to the UFC there in a couple weeks. Yeah, I could hook you up. Yeah. You want to go? Do you want to go? Well, I'll see what I see how my cancer schedule is. Well, if you feel well and you feel up to it, not that not that at all. It's just I got to do it to doctors and all that [ __ ] Now, are you using chemotherapy or No, you're just using my my cancer my cancer is this very slow. In fact, it's kind of weird what they say about my cancer. They said, "Usually we don't tell a guy, you know, at your age." Yeah. Usually we don't tell a guy because by the time the cancer's bad, you'll be dead of some other causes. No [ __ ] So that's that's one of the things. But ah, you know, that's kind of creepy that your doctor hold that back from Well, they do that. How many times that way people die before they get jaded? Yeah. Well, you don't have to change your lifestyle. Yeah. See, I got a straight doctor and I got a very hip uh what a naturopath and the the I thought you were going to say a gay doctor. Yeah. Well, the the straight the straight doctor and that's why he wanted to test me eight times. The the the straight doctor, he kind of like, hey, whatever you want to do, go ahead. Don't worry about it. Here's some pills. Take these pills. are very expensive, but they'll keep your prostrate from growing and it'll keep the cancer cells from growing and so you'll be okay for a while. Side effects, uh, you might get Alzheimer's from it, but it's down the line, too, you know. So, so my naturopath, he was the opposite. He said, "Well, yeah, take those pills, but get off them as soon as you can." And uh and here's all this natural stuff you take like green tea uh supplements. Not not green tea in a in a glass, but condensed green tea is is
really good. And there's all sorts of other stuff because it's a strong antioxidant. Is that what it is? Yeah. It's all and and a lot of oil, a lot of fish oil, a lot of krill oil, a lot of good oil. And that's because uh you keep your the bones, everything else oiled and the cancer cells can't stick to it and so they works that way. Yeah, that's what cancer cells will stick to things like a oiled up wrestler. Yeah. Like no internally. Oh, internally. Internally, you got to oil yourself internally. And that's why water water be very careful with your water intake cuz that's what happened to me. I wasn't drinking enough water. So, you're dehydrated all the time. And so, I was uh water deficient. Yeah. Hydro, what do you call it? Deficient. I would drink tea. I drink all this other stuff, you know, sodas and stuff, you know, but I You got to really If you work out, you got to rehydrate. Really rehydrate. Yeah. With water or coconut juice is really good, too. Coconut water, rather. That's a lot of lot of electrolytes in it. But y I went to a doctor recently um and I found out that I was three pounds dehydrated. Mhm. cuz I I'd worked out the night before and I you know I had eaten. I thought I'd drank enough. But he's like you know you can look at when they do like a body mass index thing on you. They could say like you're dehydrated. Yeah. Yeah. And so so for cancer cancer loves dehydration. They love you [ __ ] up. Huh. But you see Yeah. They're like you weakened. Well figured out that your your your um immune system your immune system is so busy with everything else. And I'll tell you another uh I went to another healer and he he gave me a great tip I'll pass on to you and your listeners is um one way to cleanse your liver and your kidneys which really should be cleansed as much as you can. I heard it's a blowout weekend with Jack Daniels. That's what I heard. I heard that's the best cleaner. That's after you I heard your liver needs a workout every now and then. You just got to put your liver through. No, the way you do NFL combine. way you do it, you get a bag of Celtic salt. Sea salt. Sea salt. Celtic sea salt. Okay, it's it's rock salt, but it has all the other minerals in it, too. And you get as much a gallon or so of water, preferably not distilled, but you know,
whatever. What? Spring water. Spring water is, you know, pure pure pure water. You know, you don't want tap water, right? And and what you do, you put a pinch of sea water in your in a glass. Uhhuh. And you drink it. And you drink pinch of salt. Pinch of sea salt in the glass. Drink it down and drink try to drink as much as you can with the sea salt. And the thing is the salt will make you thirsty. Uhhuh. So it's in fact that's what that's why we love salt so much because salt makes the body thirsty. The body needs water and the body will do anything it can do to get water once you put salt in it. But I mean I lose salt. Is that what it Normally normally your your body needs water and so it'll do whatever and the salt makes you drink more and when you put salt in in like distilled water or the fresh spring water it uh cleanses your whole body. Now you could have a you know it cleans your like I say could act like an animal sometimes. Oh it blasts you out. Oh, it'll clench out. But that you should do that. Do that at least I I'm doing it at least once a month. Once a month. And you when you define a pinch, what would you say that is? You think that's like a just a tiny sprinkle. You don't want to put too much in it though, right? You got to be careful, right? Yeah. Too much. It just It's too much. Well, I mean, isn't it dangerous at a certain point? How much? I I know. Well, the water the water and the salt. See, that's why it has to be saltic salt. It can't be it can't be iodized or or refined in any way. It has to be sea salt because what you're doing, you're putting minerals back into your system, especially back into your kidneys. You see, that's where you're deficient because none of the the supermarket foods give you minerals, you know, that's why we have uh uh supplements. You're talking about supplements. We're just getting minerals. That's all we're basically doing. And sea salt is the cheapest, easiest, and nicest way to get your minerals. Well, another thing uh is um a lot of people don't realize that your your land that you grow things on, you can't really keep growing things on the same spot forever. No. Like you deplete the the the minerals in the soil and so then your vegetables become mineral deficient and that's why you know you
the leafy vegetables don't look as green and rich and you know if they don't look like green and rich they're probably not as healthy for you. And the and the non-organic uh fertilizer, you know, that's so bad for the whole system. Well, what really creeps me out is this whole um Monsanto thing where Monsanto is creating these suicide seeds that, you know, they they they work once and then they don't make they don't make seeds. Like, you know, if you get a tomato, you can't take a tomato seed out and try to plant that seed. That seed's useless. I love that. They've killed them. I love what they're doing because what they're doing is they're identifying themselves. Yeah. So we can you look at it, you go, "Oh, okay. Give me the organic, you know." Yeah. That's what that's what they did with the the coconut. The Monsanto was the one that ran the coconut uh people out of business. Did you know that? No. Had no idea. Well, the coconut co everybody used coconut oil and it was the healthiest oil on the planet. I mean to cook with, to wash with, you know, your hair. I remember when they said it was bad for you. Remember that? Well, that's that was Monsanto. Really? They were saying that the fat would give you heart attacks and clogged up the the cholesterol. [ __ ] It's just the opposite, right? It's the opposite. It's really good for you. It's really good for you. Coconut oil is like one of the healthiest things you can eat. Uh I I got a great test now because I got a naturopath doctor and I he says, "What are you eating?" And I and I name off certain things and he'll say, "Don't eat that. Don't eat that. Damn. I said coconut. Eat as much as you want. Yeah, coconut. Coconut's good. It especially the um the coconuts from Thailand. You know, those are the ones that have the most delicious milk. It's like a really sweet milk. White silky. Yeah. Yeah. The Thailand's good. They're all good. It's all good. They're Filipinos. I mean, that's why the the Polynesians uh you know, their skin so beautiful and they got hair. You know, you don't Such a healthy fruit, too. Eating the actual coconut itself. So good for you. Yeah. And did you know here here's a fact about a coconut that I didn't know about until my artist son-in-law told me. But
the coconut itself is a is a insecticide. Really? Inse it it emits things that kill in insects. Huh? The outside. The outside the whole plant. The whole plant. The plant itself. It's an insecticide. It's an insecticide. Wow. And that's one of the reasons that if you use coconut oil, you know, keep the mosquitoes away. No [ __ ] That stuff works. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've never heard of that before. Does it work as good as off though? Cuz off stinks, but that [ __ ] works. You know what I mean? I don't want to get kind of bit because I'm being crunchy. No, but the insects, see the coconut plant itself, it took, you know, a few years to to develop this, but they needed a defense against insects and birds and and and imagine a coconut shell. What a perfect home that would make. Yeah. For how many, you know, birds, everything. But you notice they're they're left alone. They got this big leafy thing around it that protects it, too, you know. But they but the plant itself is an insecticide. It's pretty cool. It's amazing that a coconut exists at all. I mean, isn't it amazing that you got to chop through all this [ __ ] to get to this delicious center where the water is? And look at the soil it grows in. Sand. Sand. Sand. So strange. Yeah. What a strange [ __ ] alien plant. That's so good for you. Yeah. That's so good for you. So good for you. You can use the most unfortunate thing about Americans is our diet. So many people just are not eating the the proper amount of nutrients, vegetables. Well, that explains for the psychotic behavior of people a little bit. Work is also culprit. People just go crazy. They don't want to work anymore. You know, it's [ __ ] we don't we don't work, man. You and I haven't worked in a long time. When you work, you know, you're doing something you don't like and you're doing it all day. And that's most of us. Most of our country is filled with people that are working. [ __ ] tired. You're you're surviving, you know. That's why the uh the immigration thing is such a thing, you know, because it's just people migrating up where the food is. Work means food. Absolutely. That's what it is. Sure. And that's why these u immigration laws are are kind of ridiculous because, you know, it just
puts people in in a position where they can be mean to other people. Well, it's a crazy situation anyway. The only reason why it exists at all is because we don't have jetpacks and portable helicopters. You know what I mean? It's not easy to fly around. So, it's not, you know, if we could, if everyone had a [ __ ] plane, there would be no countries. It'd be ridiculous because you could just go anywhere you want. You know, they would, they would get over the fact they can't control people. You can you could, you know, they would have to control the airports and then people would rebel, you know, and take their back. Everything in America is is all front. It's all a front. It's all a facade. There's nothing real, you know, like when you when you get searched. I was in when 911 just happened. I was in uh flying to somewhere Houston or or flying to Argentina or somewhere. But anyway, flew into Miami. Okay. And you know all those the security they got the bags going through the machines and everything else. Okay. Well, Miami, uh, all these flights from the rest of the world, they just unload their baggage beside the machines and people just come and pick up their baggage when they're going to the next next flight or there. In other words, it's a third world country, right? And and and so we're protected everywhere. LA, New York, we're protected, protected, protected. Then you go down to the the butt of the country, you know, Miami. You think they would have some protection there. None. None. You could you could walk a little barrier. You walk around. Oh, oh, there's my bag over there or there's somebody bag or let's put this explosive over there. No one would have Are you giving terrorist ideas? You telling them where's a good spot to attack? Well, I'll tell you how to sneak into the country. How? Puerto Rico. Puerto Rico. Yeah. Yeah. How's that? You can get a passport in the Dominican Republic. Then you you can swim over to uh or get dropped off and swim to Puerto Rico, right? And then you uh dress up or whatever, you know, and then you got your passport, your green card, and you get on a plane for anywhere in in America. Really? Is that easy? That easy. You're a mastermind. You should write books on how to break
the law. I know a lot of them, man. But no, I was there. Do you think that Do you think that there should be no borders? Is that what you think? You think people should be able absolutely travel anywhere? It's like the pot, you know, people are saying to me, you know, well, if we legalize, then we could tax. I said, no, no. Why? Why make work for yourself? Just legalize it. Just eliminate the DEA. No, what you do, you transfer everybody from DEA to Secret Service. They obviously need some some corrupt people in there. So, and and you eliminate the DEA. So, you make DEA and maybe how about use them for something good. How about use them for some sort of an educational program or something like that? Well, they wouldn't work because they're basically cops. You'd have to give them another cop job. No, no, they're they're they're criminals. They're they're beyond cops. They're not just cops. You feel like the DEA are criminals. DA. They're total criminals. They're total criminals. And if you're not, you're not in the DEA. You have to transfer out because you can't have one bad cop. And in Now, when you say, you mean they're really corrupt? They're totally corrupt. When they we we don't hear about the money that Remember all the money they used to find with the marijuana and now they're saying they're selling more marijuana than ever. We don't hear about the the money anymore, do we? We don't hear about the millions of dollars in in drug money that that gets confiscated. that gets confiscated sitting in the court until trial. You don't hear about that. What do they do with that money? They split it amongst themselves and they either they they take the you notice and also they don't have to account for it. No. No. Like when when for real like if and for real they put it in their pocket, they split it up. 100%. There's no doubt about it. There I I can I can name I I'll name an instance. Okay. Um, I I won't name the guy's name, but he's a friend of mine from Vancouver. And he was down here. He's working for the Hell's Angels. I can say that name because people know, right? And um his job was to deliver the the load of BC Bud, which he drove down in a U-Haul trailer, right, to a safe house. And then
he'd drive home and uh he got just he got ratted out. Someone ratted him out, you know. Could have been one of the angels, too. You know who? You never know because they control a lot of the borders up in in Canada. Anyway, uh the DEA arrested him in front of the Groman Theater. Arrested him. Was it? Yeah, just him. and they handcuffed him and they had the big trailer of weed which he showed me. He showed me the weed and then he uh he gets taken to jail and he's in jail and they won't let him use the phone or anything and all they they interrogate him and they say where's the safe house? So he gave up the safe house and then about maybe uh two hours later uh the jailer comes in and says, "Okay, you can go." Kicked his ass out of the jail. They just let him go and took the money. They let him go. They took the money. Took the weed. They took the money and took the weed and weed and let him go. And that's one guy. That's one guy. Is that what's going on now? That's what these raids are all about. It's just a money grab. No. No. The raids raids are new for newspapers is for the for the uh you know the press to let them know that so they can get their budget they get their billion dollar budget. You know what's disturbing is that the money that could be given to them rightfully through taxes the money that could be given to the state you know is is pretty substantial if if they made it legal. Can you quite substantial people aren't going to really grow it themselves? Some people are that's what I'm saying. But you don't need a you don't need to invent a new system. We got a system in place. It's called sales tax. Yeah. If you open a store, you pay taxes. Exactly. Exactly. And that's all you do. If you want to buy a bag of weed, you like you buy a bag of flour. It's the same thing. And you should be able to grow it like you grow [ __ ] tomatoes. You can grow your own tomatoes. You should be able to grow your own weed. You can. You can. And the only trouble is is that uh because of the greed involved. That's why it's still illegal because not only not only the the the the people that the hemp uh would replace, you know, the the forestry, you know, the most ridiculous thing is that hemp isn't even psychoactive and it's illegal. Yeah. Because of the paper
industry and the pharmaceutical industry for the pain relief. There's a show on TV yesterday about the marijuana pain thing and they can't come up. The pharmaceuticals cannot match uh pot for what it does. They cannot and they've tried and tried and tried. They cannot match it. Well, it's you got to think that there's plants that we have a symbiotic relationship with. And we know that there's a long long relationship that people have to eating cannabis and we know that eating it where it doesn't even get you high when you just eat the plant doesn't get you high is incredibly good for you. That's uh by the way the the the juice uh people are juicing leaves. Yeah. And and for cancer. Yeah. And and that's what I'm going to when I when I find out. And the leaves, you don't smoke the leaves anyway, right? So when you do I I used to You used to smoke the leaves, but it's not as psychoactive, right? It's not as powerful. There was a there's a thing about uh sort of like a a memory, body memory. So if you're smoking, it's like you're smoking a bad joint or we used to joke about it and say this this weed was only good for selling to military. Oh, that's fine. Cuz because then then if they got caught, they get tested. There's nothing in their blood, so they would be okay. But no, we I don't think it should be taxed other than just just decriminalize it. Just leave us alone, you know, and then the economy will will will blossom. You'd be the guy to answer this. When you hear people say, "Well, the marijuana of today is not like the marijuana of old." Is that totally true or is it the what I've read is that most of the marijuana back in the day was not as strong as the [ __ ] that's today. But every now and then you get some [ __ ] that'll blow your mind. It's just as good as I I'll tell you an analogy that that kind of covers it. It's like the 15 foot high diving board. Okay. When you're a little kid, that's a crazy long way down. Then when you hit a young boy, ah, this is nothing. I can go 30 ft. Then as you get older and older and older, that 15 ft finally you're not even you're not even walking up the stairs anymore. It's the same as a pot. Pot has not changed. It's impossible to change it. It's as strong uh back then as it was as it is here. But you can still get whack weed today. Sure. I
imagine you can. Yeah, you can. I've never had it. But you've never had terrible weed. He's had Labador before. I've had my share of bad stuff. I haven't had bad weed for I can't even remember there. I think there's a great difference between um like really crap weed and really high weed. Sure. How much of it back in the day like when you were doing those Chichin Chong movies, how much of it was like highrade? Was it hard to get highrade stuff? Not really. No. The the Vietnam War took care of all the high grade. I mean we were getting coming in from Vietn and that's like a sativa, right? Oh sativas. Yeah. That's the really powerful intellectual weed. Put put you on your butt, you know, put you on your ass and make you think, but makes a brain makes a brain work. I I love sativa. I mean, all that it's very creative. All the good weed. That's one of the really unfortunate things about the fact it's illegal that most people don't even know what the difference is. They don't even know that an indica is like much more of a sleepy seditive sort of a feeling, much more relaxing. But sativa is a totally different trip. It's It's almost like a totally different drug. Yeah. And it looks the same. It smells similar, but it's it's a completely different And figure it out. Figure this out, man. I mean, I've got cancer. You can't get any worse than cancer, right? You know, all that weed does for you. It cures. It kills cancer cells. That's amazing. It It's just blows blows me away. It's hard to wrap your head around it really. I mean, it's it's something that you can bring up every day because it almost makes no sense. It you get repetitive after a while because it's so ridiculous that it's illegal when you stop and look at it. It's like this is it's a magical plant. It you can eat it. It's really good for you. You smoke it. It gets you high in the world. Yeah. You could wear it. It makes the best cloth ever. You can live in underneath it. You can make plywood out of it. And it's [ __ ] waterproof. It's crazy. It's probably the best uh cellulose uh plant there is. Yeah. You make plastic out of it. You can make plastic out of hemp. Healthy plastic, biodegradable plastic out of plastic bags that don't clog up the planet. Yeah. People don't realize that
plastic can be made from plant matter. Can be made from hemp. One of the reasons why hemp was also made illegal was that it was at the same time where DuPont was coming up with a chemical compound for nylon. And most ropes up to to that date had been made out of hemp. Hemp is an incredible fiber. Hemp is the best rope. Do Oh, by the way, do you sell your ropes? Are they hemp? I don't know what the [ __ ] they are. You should check it out. I should They should be hemp, right? You should try to get them hemp because they're better grip. They're better ropes from a shipyard. They have the You want to grip leather anyway? The the leathers at the end of them so you get a But I like I like that that Oh, you like the fiber feel then it doesn't slip out of your hand. It's a great workout. Have you done it? Oh, I do it all the time. Do you do battle ropes? Oh, that's awesome, man. Look at that. Yeah. So does my wife Shelby Tommy [ __ ] Chong throwing down some battle ropes. Oh yeah. Yeah, not at all. Big body movements are so so important for health and for your your your body's actual ability to work and move. Well, that was one of the reasons, you know, back in the day when Arnold Schwarzenegger lit up a joint, you know, I said, "Now, this is all the proof anybody needs. Here's a guy that's really the best built man in the world." In the world, period. Seven times. Yeah. Uh, six, seven times. And he's getting high. And here here is a guy that he'd spit out something. If it if he thought it had sugar in it or something, he would spit it out. If he took a drink or or a bite of something, he's so careful about what he puts in his body. No alcohol. Forget all that. But a joint passive over him, well, gets high. He must have figured that out when he was young. I wonder when he figured that out. Well, everybody figures out the same way. Everybody asked me, you know, what how did you get turned on to pot? I you know, no, what kind of drugs do you take? And I say, anything given to me by a naked lady. I smoked pot only a handful of times in my life, maybe half a dozen, until I was 30. And then when I was 30, a friend of mine got me high. And I had a completely bad perception of the effects of marijuana. I thought it made you lazy. I
thought it was uh just something that sedated you. I thought it's something that made you slow and stupid and I wasn't interested in that. And even though I had one experience to the contrary when I was I was living with my friend Jimmy Dilio and he had a friend that was a big pthead and we all decided to uh smoke some pot together. I can never smoke pot. Neither did Jimmy. So we got high and then I'm like Jesus Christ man. I got to drive to a gig. It was like two hours later still banked out of my [ __ ] head. And I had never gotten high before. Like maybe you had to do the gig. Yeah. maybe two or three other times in my whole life before then, right? And only usually when I had a couple of drinks in me, so I have to drive and do this gig and I am [ __ ] my pants. I'm like, I can't do my comedy high. First of all, the audience is going to know I'm high. I was only 21 or 22. And um I I had the best set I've ever had up to that point. I was like, "This is crazy." Like, I've never been so smooth. I've never Yeah. relaxed. Focus on what I'm actually saying. Totally in the moment. totally in the moment and I was like that's incredible and I was like they can't because of because of the weed. I was so scared to try it again. I never tried it again but I remember thinking that like wow was it I was like dude you just got lucky. Okay. You could have been if you went on stage an hour earlier you would have [ __ ] [ __ ] all over yourself on there cuz I was shaky you know back then I wasn't very good. You know you were young. Yeah. So I would bomb a lot. I would bomb like one out of every five times. It would not go well. So, I was really not not looking forward to this not working out while I was high, but it was the best I had ever had up to that point. It was crazy. Chich and I when we first got together, um I had an acting group, Topless Bar with the the dancers dancers, you know, I had them acting and and Topless Actors. Yeah. Girls, the girls that would go naked, you know, and uh I'm thinking of doing one here, but it's a lot of work. Um, what's a lot of work dealing with the topless girls? Deal. Dealing with anybody. But well, you're doing a podcast, aren't you? I I am. Yeah, I'm starting one in
September. That's awesome. Yeah, I'm going to start and I'm going, in fact, uh, you can catch me on Tommy Chong and Chichin Jong, all those. Well, let us know when that's taking place and we'll tweet it and and pump it up and get everybody to listen in. I think that's awesome. Yeah. What was I saying? I forgot. I forgot, too. I forgot. I forgot. We over uh we were talking about uh bodybuilders smoking marijuana, how it's obviously not bad for you. Uh we were basically the company points that were supposed to be Did you hear this Dr. Drew [ __ ] man? Dr. Drew got caught uh they pharmaceutical company had paid him to uh encourage use of uh certain anti-depressants as a um out of uh He got caught. Yeah, he got caught. They they gave him $270 something,000 and he it was uh he he was supposed to uh talk about the the talking points of the positive sexual side effects of Wellbutrin because like uh like a girl would call up and say she just got changed her her pills to Wellbutrin and now she's get having like 10 orgasms a day and Dr. like telling that could that is one of the possible symptoms and like he's like they he actually said the talking how' they get busted I guess the company just lost a big lawsuit they just lost uh they they got u a3 billion something dollar judgment against them so in yeah in the pro in the process of that they had to release their paperwork and in releasing their paperwork apparently Dr. Drew was a recipient of more than a4 million dollars from them. It's scary, man. I like I like Dr. Drew, man. That guy needs a joint. You know, you get a little crazy. He's upight. He's way uptight and he's got a lot of ticks, you know. You notice those ticks. Do you know him person? Yeah. Yeah, I know him. I like him. I like him a lot. I've been I've done his uh radio show a couple times. I like him a lot, but he gets silly. And he said to me he said to me, u he's having trouble with the next chapter. I said, "What what kind of trouble?" He said, "Well, she's accusing me of sexual harassment." I said, "Get a lawyer." And so, so Dr. Drew, so then I I then Che and I were on the show and and Dr. Drew says to me, "I took your advice, Tom. I got a lawyer." And Chich looked at me like, "What do you what what's
going on here? Fill me in." We never did fill them in. That's funny. I hate to hear that, man. But see, it's a bummer, man. That's the American way. Well, it's also, guess what? Everybody needs something to put them in check. If you're not doing yoga and meditating and taking some time to yourself, you're going to get caught up in one way or the other the wrong [ __ ] path. The the somehow or another you're going to trip up when you're captain clean out there wearing a [ __ ] tie every day and pretending you do no evil. That [ __ ] by the way, is going to chew at the back of your brain. You know, you've committed yourself to this crazy unreal life where, you know, you're not going to get [ __ ] up. You can't do shots with your friends. You can't go to a strip club go, "Oh shit." You can't do that. You're not You're not allowed to. You got to watch my reputation. You're a different You're not an honest human. You're a creation. Yeah. Yeah. And for me friend and he needs a little [ __ ] Everybody needs a little humbling. Like a natural humbling. That's what marijuana does to you. Well, it's a little natural humbling. Is that going to take him off his short? I don't know. I mean, hopefully he'll be acquitted. I like him. I I hope he didn't do it. I hope it's not true. I hope uh if it is true, it makes changes. I Yeah, I believe I believe they're investigating it. I don't I don't know the full extent of it. It's just been in the news lately, but like I said, I like Dr. Drew. He's not a bad guy. It's just that these people, they have this idea that they're protecting people from something. Here's the stance. It's not just, well, if you want heat, I'm fine with that. If you want to smoke pot, that's what he always says. I'm fine with that. If you want to get high, go get high. This is what I'm saying. I'm saying it can change your [ __ ] life and for the better. It can make you a warmer, more compassionate person. It makes you closer to your friends and your loved ones. It makes you appreciate your dog more. It makes food taste better. It makes sex feel better. Like, this is ridiculous. The idea that you would just poo poo it and say, "Well, if you want to go get high, it's not that, man. It's something that can enhance you." But you see what he's doing. He rep He's got one foot on the
boat, one foot on the shore, and and there's a liquor and he's trying to be a celebrity. Yeah. There's a liquor. There's a liquor uh what do you call it? Civilization. That's We're coming out of it. We're coming out of the the alcohol civilization. You think so? You think so? We're coming out of it. Yeah. You think it's ever possible to get out of it? It's fun. People like to get drunk. No, they like to do shots and everything else, but you look at the movie Ted and and and and the biggest laugh and the biggest thing was when the little uh Teddy Bear was doing a big bong hit. Yeah. Well, that that is one thing that is most certainly changing. It's becoming more acceptable. I mean, when you were uh doing those albums, like did you guys get hassled by cops? Like, did it become did it ever become a factor in your life? We got one we got one hassle. We got arrested in Tampa, Florida. That was where um Jim Morrison got arrested for showing his wiener. And uh who else? Janice. We got arrested there. Wasn't Chicha's dad a cop? Yeah. Yeah. And so, uh, we were doing our show and we just did our regular show, but we didn't know there was a $5,000 performance bond, uh, posted. And that if the cops were called in for any reason, the promoter would lose a $5,000 bond. And so, at the end of the show, we're doing a bit called the dogs, where Chich and I were running around our hands and knees, and Chich walked over to a cop, and he picked up his hat. the cop was facing out to the audience, you know, in case the audience would would riot or something. I don't know. And and that's all they did. And and and the cops, that's it. We're arresting Chichin Chong. And they arrested us and took us to jail and give us some mug shots. Good mug shots. You like them? Did you use them for anything? Like t-shirts? Uh I think they're on the t-shirts now. Yeah. Yeah. They they're really good mug shots. It shows two little guys. But Che was funny, man. because we're in this cell. First of all, we're Chin Chong. We just got off the stage, 5,000 people, you know, going crazy. Next thing you know, we're being herded into a holding cell. And it was weird. It's like wait and go to the green room only it's a holding cell. And and there's all the
drunks and everybody there. One old cho guy there, you know, and he asked Che in Spanish, you know, what what are you in here for? And Che, you know, he didn't want to say, you know, we're lifting a cop's hat with his teeth. So he said, "Uh, drugs, man." And so the the old cho in Spanish goes, "Oh, tell him a black guy sent it to you. Tell him a black guy gave it to you." That was his his thing. And so then the cop would come by, you know, big big uh white like a stormtrooper kind of cop would walk by and he didn't give a [ __ ] who we were. And then there's the old picture. And then teach and I uh we're we're talking we're not sitting down because we think we're going to get out of jail real quick. But then a lot of time went by and pretty soon I'm not only sitting but I'm looking for a pillow because I'm tired. And there's just all these other and Chich is still standing around. And then the cop walks over and he says to Chi, "You come with me." And Chichi goes, "Ah, my dad's a cop. Did Did I tell you?" Yeah, my dad's the LAPD. Yeah, I've been 30 years or, you know, 20 years. It was funny. I laugh. That's funny. They they separated us and then, you know, a few hours later then they we went and that's what we look like. Is that a trip? Look, we're folks that are listening to this on iTunes, we're looking at a video of Chichin Chong that looks like from the ' 60s, right? 1974. Wow. It's all black and white. Yeah. Wow. 74. They didn't have color TV in ' 74. Yeah. You guys actually have a really good website uh Chichin Chongfans.com, which just is updated all the time, which I really like. And they they posted this uh recently on there. And there's a lot of different uh interviews and uh videos on here that are Oh, Chichinch fans. Oh, I love that. That's very cool. Isn't that cool? Isn't that one of the coolest things about the internet? Is it fan created stuff that they make for you? Does that still blow you away? We've taken over the world, man. We've literally, you know, starting with Egypt, Libya, you know, the internet taken over the world. The internet is a fascinating thing, isn't it? Yeah. Look
at this. Yeah. Look at this. Yeah. Don't you love like the the fan generated stuff that they make for you? Like people that put up websites like Chichinchongfans.com. Isn't that amazing? Now that you mentioned it, I got you a present here. These are not a pipes. Nauta pipes. Not a pipes. What? What does that mean? They're necklace. They're not a pipe. You don't pull the string out. It's not a pipe. You don't pull the string out. I thought it was like a type of pipe. Yeah, it's it's not a pipe. You don't pull the string out. You don't put the substance in this part here. Okay. You don't do that. And you don't light it. You don't light it. And you don't And you don't smoke out of it. Smoke out of this. Okay. You don't do that because it's not a pipe. It's not a pipe. It's a necklace. Yes, I got it. That's not a pipe. And it's yours, Joe. I'll bring you one. Thank you, man. I didn't know there's going to be an extra. What animal had to give up its life so I could have this? Not a pipe. Uh, what is that? Actually, it's just a piece of antler. Driftwood, I found. Oh, it's driftwood. Uh, root. Actually, it's a off the beach in Oh, really? Vancouver. Oh, so I don't have to feel bad. That wasn't like a little deer that got shot in the head. Give me like a Ted Nent pipe. It might be a piece of wood from the tsunami. I don't know. These are It might be could be someone's house. It might be. [ __ ] Piece of probably some kid's toy just floating around. No, it's just a It's from a center cut of a of a root. Awesome, man. Thank you very much, brother. I really appreciate it. So cool. Thank you very much, man. Um, when is the Chichin Chong movie coming out? I know you had like this animated uh movie that was It's done. It's all finished. It's in the can. And now they're just figuring out a um release strategy. It's an animated movie. Yeah. The animated uh our old bits. That's awesome. Yeah. Wow. It seems like such a good idea, especially since that you do so much work like like on the Simpsons and things like that. Oh, it's it's it's a natural. I mean, it's a natural way to go, too. You can imagine Chicha Chong just doing voiceover work. No more road sitting around. Do you do you like doing the
road every now and then or is it just too much? It's getting too much. It's getting too much. Is that what you've been doing lately is just doing shows? Oh, just once in a while. Just once in a while. How Shelby and I Shelby and I, my wife and I go, we went to Denver last month or two months ago. And before that, Chich and I and Shelby. Well, when you guys got back together again, that was a pretty big resurgence. Oh, big time. Two years. Three years. Three years ago. Three years. It's been going on. Three years. And we we made a couple of million. You know, I remember when you uh when you guys announced that you were going to do that, you guys had made up and you finally gotten back together again. I was like, "Holy shit." Wow. We had made up before when I before I went to jail, we had we were working on a movie. Oh, really? Oh, that's cool. And then I I went to jail and in fact we kept working on it with Larry Charles but it never new line pulled out. For people that don't know your story of how you got arrested and wind up doing time is one of the most [ __ ] up stories that sort of in my eyes epitomizes the insanity of the Bush administration. John Ashcroft guy was insane. And most people don't know this. I mean if you but if you look online John Ashccraftoft singing. Have you ever seen him sing when like she's never soared before? He's completely bat [ __ ] He covers up the titties. The cement titties. Yeah, cement titties. He made them cover up statues for the first time in the history of that great building. And so you went people wonder why weren't you afraid of this guy? Because he's in nutcase, you know. He was completely bonkers. It wasn't my company. Somebody sent me an album. some dude from uh the internet, whoever you are, dude. I just want to thank you. Thank you so much. I totally don't even remember who the guy was, but he sent me a [ __ ] album. It was an album of John Ashcraftoft and another guy singing gospel songs, and they were just one more horrific and horrifying than the next. You just, the more you listen to them, the more you thought of him, sweaty and black socks, [ __ ] little boys, you know, there's something going on. And there's a darkness on the other side of this [ __ ] coin. Like, this is not coming from a healthy person. This is a crazy
form of art you're trying to sell me on. I like it when they went to his hospital bed when he was sick or something and trying to get him to sign. What was it? What were they trying to get him to sign? A confession or something? No, I think it was okay. Torture or something? Ashcraftoft. Yeah, Ashcroft was the attorney general. He wouldn't do it. He wouldn't do it. I'm going to sign that. He was a crazy man. Oh, he How about the lady that put me away, Mary Beth Buchanan? What about what was her deal? She was a cheerleader at a little town in Pennsylvania where the 9/11 plane went down. Yes. And because she was a prosecutor there, that give her prominence. And they made her they they made her the chief of the prosecution. Oh my goodness. Yeah. She was like the chief prosecutor. Oh. And the first thing she did was went after the bong companies and Tommy Chong. And by the way, you weren't even selling the bongs. Your son was selling them. He was making them and selling them. Yeah. And you didn't even have anything to do with it. Well, I'd sign them. You sign them. I'd sign him. That was my job. That was your job. And they went after you. They went after Well, what they did, they went after the company, which was very, very funny. We got that documentary called aka Tommy Chong out about it. But, uh, yeah, they tried to try to they entrapped us. They tried to get us to send the stuff to their place and we wouldn't do it and finally sent an undercover guy into our company and and then next thing you know I'm arrested for for bongs. Wow. But I melted I melt the [ __ ] out of it for It's true, right? That really gave you a nice boost once you got out of the pokey. Oh [ __ ] It gave me Wow. I'm still doing material. Yeah. Still doing Well, when I was And I bring it up in conversations too, you know. Yeah, when I was in jail, I you know, sometime one time I was with two judges, two judges at a dinner party and and I we got to talking and next thing you know, I'm telling them about jail and they're kind of giving me that that oh [ __ ] look like they shouldn't be talking. I shouldn't be listening to this. Every now and then I'll talk to a square dude about getting high, you know, and you see the look in their face, but they're looking for the exit. Well, okay, if you
want to do it, that's what you're into. You know, I like I'm straight edge. Yeah, I like my scotch or I like my gin or I like my water. I don't mind a little boozing, but I don't smoke dope. These judges are cool. We're friends with them. Um U one's um It's very good to have a judge for a friend. Yeah. You know, I mean, you know, I had Can you help me? I got all kinds of friends, you know. Pretty funny. Yeah, there's a whole set of us different different people. You're known as being an outlaw, but it's the silliest law of all time. I'm kind of like a stoner Paris Hilton where they like to have me at a party. Yeah. Everybody, we have Tommy Chong here. We can all get high now. And he's not wearing underwear. Is it annoying how many people want to get high with you? Is it? It keeps me from going to places, you know, like I'd like to do, you know, the Playboy Mansion pot thing every year, but I can't do it, man. You know, too many fans, you know. Too many people want to get high with you. Oh, they want to take pictures and get high and tell me stories, you know, just swarm on you and be on their podcast, you know. You know. Yeah. Like that's how you're here, man. The the fun being Tommy John. Do you do you smoke pot with strangers? No. No. Me neither. No. I don't if I don't know who I it's it's too much risk. Sorry. I tell people I don't I quit smoking butt, you know, and and I I usually don't I have to really know where the source of the weed is from before before I'll I'll accept it. Then I'll give it to friends of mine, you know, tell them this is where I got this [ __ ] It's exactly what I do. I'm like certain people that I get high with that I know. But I mean, it's unfortunate, but I've had I know of one guy that definitely came up to me that was a cop in uh in Cleveland. I'm positive. I just knew something was going on, you know. He was asking me where I could get DMT. Oh. And the way he was as he had a crew cut out. He looked like he trained. He did MMA. And I'm looking at this dude and I'm like, "You want what?" Yeah. Strange guy that looks like a cop ask me where to get illegal drugs. I [ __ ] you talking about I once had two cops work their ass off for me. It was funny. I had a nightclub in Canada. Yeah. Where Chich and I met.
And then I had two nightclubs and then one got closed down and so then they sold the building. So then I moved I had a back room, you know, so I was fixing up a back room to take over the other club. And uh next thing I know I got two a man and a girl uh with headbands. They they come up stairs and they're like they're not hippies by no means. The headbands look like a costume. Look like they're going trick-or-treating. They're like, "Uh, this is how they dress. We need to fit in." So, he said, "So, so what's going on up here?" I said, "I'm just putting a club together." He said, "Need some help." I said, "Yeah, actually I do." And so, okay. So, they they're in they're helping, you know. What are you thinking at this time? I'm looking at him thinking, "Well, I could use the help. Who knows?" You know, I'm not going to pay him anything. You know, maybe let him in the club later, pray, you know. So, they're moving tables and washing floors and that's so weird. They just show up and start working. Good. Yeah. Yeah. And they're working and good workers, too, you know. And and the more I look at them, the more I said, "These aren't hippies, you know." Yeah. That's because the hippies will hide behind a a wall to see if Oh, they're working. Okay, I'm out of here. You know, so so they worked and then we had a little break, you know, and we're sitting around talking. So I said there, "Where you from?" Oh, they're from Saskatchewan. Yeah. Been here out here long. Oh, a couple of days. Yeah. So, um, so, um, have you ever got high? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I get high all the time. I said, 'Well, ever done acid? He said, "Yeah, oh yeah, I love acid." Yeah. I said, "Well, tell me about your first acid trip." The guy goes, "I don't remember." He said, I said, "Just a minute. I got to go to the bathroom." I went to the bathroom. I did a little dance. They're cops. There are cops. They're [ __ ] cops. That's hilarious. So, I went back. I said, "Well, let's get to work." We got a lot of work to do here. So, you just put them to work. They scrub the floor, man. I had them. They were [ __ ] The headbands were soaking wet with sweat, man. They're just That's amazing. I worked their ass off. And then I got on the
phone. I phoned everybody I knew, you know, cuz we used to sell the door lady used to sell weed right at the door. That that kind of club it was. So, so then the club filled up and they they stayed the whole time. They didn't go home and change or anything. They got their little headbands on. Wow. Or did they change? No, I think they did change. They went home. They Okay, we'll see you back later. Then they come sat together and they look like recruits. They look like recruits. I mean, they were so so so out of place. And I told everybody and so everybody would walk by them like they were on on display. They just walk by and look at look at the cops. They look at them and walk by. That is hilarious. It was. So everybody kept an eye on them and if you wanted to smoke weed, you just made sure you knew where the cops were. Yeah. Yeah. Well, first of all, you don't do anything. You know, they're cops, so no one does anything. So no one did anything. Everyone stayed clear. And and the lady, you know, all of a sudden that was the cleanest club in in town. So now at the end, did you ever let them know that you knew they were coming? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't give that away. How just would How'd you end the night? Well, they just left. They just left. They they couldn't make a connection and they knew they got spotted. You know, you know, I'm cool. Few people are cool, but there's a lot of people that hate they're [ __ ] cops, man. Oh, you imagine how paranoid they would have been if you got them high. Oh. Oh my goodness. I never thought of that. I'm kind of glad though because I didn't want to get arrested, you know, for Yeah. But what if uh what if you made them smoke weed first? What if you said something like, "Listen, man. I got I wonder what you would do." Like, "I don't know you, so if I don't know you, you got to smoke the weed first." And then the guy smokes weed and you're like, "I'll smoke the weed later, but you got to smoke the weed first." Can you imagine what that would be like? Yeah. You get them high. Get them high as [ __ ] And especially if they don't get high. Yeah. But they didn't test guys blood and [ __ ] back then, did they? No. They didn't know how to. Now they test people work at UPS. You know, you got to pee in a cup. I was I was in jail
with a bunch of UPS guys. They got caught. Yeah, the Jamaican. They were the Jamaican connection. Oh, they were bringing it over. All black guys. All black guys. And they're all the UPS. Yeah. FedEx. Yeah. Why else Why else would you want to work so hard for UPS? Yeah. Whole connection. That's what I'm saying. You know, that's why, you know, just legalize this [ __ ] We can figure out how to grow it and pack it, move it. Well, it's we we we're suppressed and we're just accepting the fact that we're suppressed. It's it's people they don't realize how much of a suppression it was. Welcome to the slave Yeah. world. The world of a world of color. Yeah. Because that's exactly what pot really turned everybody into. We we got turned into people of color, you know, like Mexicans, blacks, you know. That's why they called it marijuana. You know, they never said, "Oh, they're smuggling hemp across the border, right?" You know, they named it was a wild Mexican tobacco, right? Wasn't it? No. Marijuana is just slang for pot. That's all. Just I thought it was originally slang for a wild Mexican tobacco. It could be. Yeah, that's what I thought it was. But that could be horshit, too. I don't know. Could be. But then that that was one of the ways William Randph Hurst had actually made it illegal was telling people that Mexicans and blacks were taking it. You're not making this up, but there were actually stories in the newspaper in the Hurst publications that said there's a new drug. It's called marijuana and these Mexicans and blacks are taking it and they're [ __ ] all the white women and makes them horny for white women. They used they used the same argument with heroin. They and and and cocaine except the the cocaine and heroin was also ch the Chinese opium. Chinese they've just made a faulty connection. But there their logic is sound at the bottom end of it is everybody wants to [ __ ] white women. So they just attributed everybody wanting to [ __ ] white women to all sorts of [ __ ] Vitamin C makes you want to [ __ ] white women. Look, they're eating oranges and [ __ ] these girls. That was my line for years, you know, because when I was a musician, you know, I ended up in a black band, right? And I played for Mottown, wrote songs, everything.
And I tell people on stage, I got so black I ended up marrying a white woman. Was that where marijuana was most prominent in the early days? Was it in the jazz culture? A jazz reaper. Yeah. How about a stick a T? How are they getting it? Stick a tea. Mhm. How are they getting it? Oh, Puerto Ricans probably. I don't know. You know, it came up Mexico. I mean, if you're in LA, you know, any any cho on the street corner would sell you anything. You could get a pound for $10 or something or $2, you know. Really? Yeah. You could a lot of it a lot of it would be dirt, you know, but Oh, yeah. Put some rocks in there. No, they do everything back in the day. And then and then the the dealers or the guys that break would break it down and roll little pinners, little tiny joints and sell them for a buck a piece. Wow. And they barely got you high, right? Just nice. Just nice. Especially if you're a musician, you know, you don't want to, you know, you don't want to be incoherent, you know, take a couple of hits. Oh, just get that edge, you know, and then boom. That's exactly what it is. You can definitely go too deep, though. Yeah. And and isn't it funny? I've never heard heroin addicts say that, you know. I've never heard cocaine addicts say that. Oh man, heroin addicts. You ever talk to someone who's in the middle of heroin? They just love it. They just love it. It's a weird feeling to think that there's something that can make you feel so good, but it's so bad for you. Well, what it is, this is my this is my uh um definition of of a heroin high. It's really you've died. That's the feeling of death. You've had it. No. No, but that's my this is my this is what you think it is. This is what I think it is. This is why they go back to it all the time. Uhhuh. You know, because for that few seconds because basically it is a few sec. It gets less and less as you get older. You know, as you get your body becomes immune to it. Then it becomes uh what do they call it? Chasing the dragon. Oh yeah. Yeah. Well, you never get it. You never get enough. You never get enough. But that first time But the first time that that that warmness that comes over you, it's that it's that feeling to me. It's it's a feeling of what what Michael Jackson was looking
for. He was looking for that feeling, right? You know, and that's what heroin addicts want. They want that peaceful, calm, gentle, sweet. Oh, everything makes sense. You know, the notes are so big. You can just touch them and you know, and that's what And when you're making love, oh, I mean, there's there's what do you call it? Ecstasy after ecstasy. It just goes on and on and on. But the second or third time your body starts you know create you need more and more and more. In other words your body shuts it down because it is a poison. It it really is a poison. And what a weird poison. It wants to get into your system and in return it gives you unbelievable feelings of love as it breaks your body down. Yeah. Is it that or is it just that it stimulates these unbelievable feelings of love and they force your body to do things that are totally unnatural because of these chemicals in the system. And then the downside is you crash hard afterwards. You need it again to balance out. The downside you get sick. Yeah. You literally get sick. You cramps. You throw up. You you you get nauseous. You you're your body is going through all kinds of changes. I had a friend that came to visit me in LA and I didn't know it at the time, but when he came here, he was trying to kick it. So as he got to my house, he was sick for like a whole week. Like the dude never got out of bed. Just laid around all day like Yeah. He had the flu. Yeah. wouldn't tell me what was wrong with him, but I mean that's what he did. That's how he kicked it. Yeah. So, it was terrible thing to watch, man. In jail, more people oxycottton. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Filled. The whole jail was filled with them. I got gout. I got gout when I was in jail. And so, they give you this purinol, some kind of [ __ ] for it. And And mine mine got gout got cured real fast and I had a whole shitload of medicine really. And the guy the guy the pill freak across the the way he goes, "Hey, uh, you want to sell that? You want to sell that?" No, you can have it, man. Oh, hey. Thank you, man. Thank you. How hard is it to get drugs in jail? Well, the trouble with drugs, you can get anything in jail, but you you get tested if you're a target, you know, moving me. I got offered to join every day. Really? And I got tested almost
every day. Do you think the people were trying to set you up? Oh, totally. Yeah, totally. there. That was their job. They got nothing else to do. Let's [ __ ] with Tommy Chong, you know? Let's get a headline or two here, you know. How bad was was jail. What was the experience like? It was good. Like going to a camp, you know? It was a camp. It was like boy scouts or army cadetses. I was in army cadets, so it was like going to army cadet camp with old people. You know, they had me in an old dormatory, but it was a what do you call a chalk line around the perimeter and you couldn't step over that chalk line or you get tazed, you get yelled at, you hey, get get your ass over there. What are you doing over there? And um but actually it was it was like a spiritual it turned for me it turned into a spiritual retreat because I I I took some books in there including the Bible and I really really started a search for for Yeah. I'm here might as well. It's a monastery. Might as well use it right. Yeah. And so I did. So I did. I read a lot and I How many How long were you in jail for? Nine months. Nine months. Nine months. I'll tell you how long nine months is. Those tubes of toothpaste, the big ones. Three. Three. Yeah. Wow. That's a long time. That's a long [ __ ] time, doesn't it? It seems like one will last forever, doesn't it? Yeah. I went through three of them. That's a long [ __ ] time. Yeah. It's almost a year of life. Brushing my teeth every day. It wasn't to brush your teeth to get something bad out of your mouth. Constantly blowing. Lot of toothpaste. The ass eating. Want to stay healthy. That was funny. I got hit on one time in one time. One time. Actually, I never got not in jail, but I never got hit on once in jail. No. Really? No. Two. Did you see any rape? I saw the barber was gay. The barber. The barber. Guy cut hair. How much did it cost to watch? Was he an inmate or an employee? He was an inmate. Everybody's inmate. There's no wor The employees are the guards that have to wear their uniform in the scorching hot sun. Yeah. like the river choa, you know, one of those things. And we're laying out there getting suntan and the guards are walking around. Every once in a while I say, "Could you bring me some suntan lotion, please?" The
guards said, "What?" "Oh, never mind. Never mind. I thought you were someone else." I [ __ ] with them. Were they nice to you ever? The guards? No, they're real nice. In fact, they had a law that they had a rule, a Tommy Chong, no pictures of Tommy Chong rule. And one first day I was there, a guy guard named Gonzalez. Next thing you know, he's in my in my cubicle. Hey, John, I'm a big fan. I love you guys. I go back blah blah blah. Wow. And so then I was on the phone. First time I got I wasn't allowed on the phone for two weeks. And then I finally got on the phone. I phoned my wife, you know, and we're talking. She said, "How was it?" And I said, "Not bad. A guard came by my cubicle and it was real nice, you know, big fan." And so then hung up the phone and five minutes later they were listening on the phone. John, report to central. Yeah. Command control. John. So I go down to command control. I said, "All right. Who was the guard that came said hello to you?" I says, "I don't know. They all look alike to me." You know, was he was he Mexican? Was he never really saw his face or then they they gave up on me on that one. Wow. But yeah, they're looking for snitches. Jails are run entirely by snitches. They have a snitch uh culture really. And what it is, yeah, that's why a lot of guys get a lot of time, you know, and and what they do, the the jails have can bargain with the ones with a lot of time. We'll knock off time if you if you give up people. That's ridiculous. That seems like that should not be fair. That's cheating. Oh, the whole jail. You're gonna coersse people into do things. The whole jail system is cheating. Well, the whole fact that it's privatized. That's That's terrifying, isn't it? It It is. And And the jails are really run by inmates, you know? I mean, the guards have some control, but they're especially the camps. The camps, I mean, there if there's a hint of violence, you're out of there. And if you even look like you you want to be violent, you know, they'll they'll get you out of there because they had old women guards, you know, people that, you know, weren't going to hurt anybody, you know, they were the your guards walking around with their uniforms and stuff on. But I I I got into the Indian Sweat
Lodge Society and that took up a a weekend. You know, we'd start Saturday and then sweat Saturday and then have to clean up the place Sunday. And you do this while in jail? Yeah, there was an Indian we had an Indian grounds and and it faced away at the jail at the jail in the camp. They still do. It's mandated that uh the Native American Indians have their form of worship really and their form of worship is a sweat lodge. So every jail has a every federal prison in America. Wow. They had to go to fascinating. They had to go to court to do it. And some are better than others and some are, you know, very bare bones. But we had a phenomenal place. We had a the guy had been in there for I don't know how many years the that took care of the grouts. Maybe 15 years, something like that. But he he he gathered rocks. There's a desert. It's a desert. So he got he got rocks and he had little fences made and then he had a area there for the sweat lodge itself, you know. It's all packed earth and then it's like a teepee, you know. Right. Right. It's or a Hogan and then they covered ours was covered with with plastic and rain stuff, you know, and then uh the center and then they had big bonfire next to it. That's what really attracted me was the bonfire. We had fire in prison, right? You know, it's unheard of all weekend. And what they would do, they leave you leave every weekend. Wow. I'll be an Indian like that in a minute. First of all, it's not an Indian. How stupid is it we still use the termin? I mean, god damn it, that's dumb. The last the what were they? Lost China. One huge mistake from 1492 and we're still calling and the guy that did it was such a beast. Piece of [ __ ] Such a monster. We celebrate the day Columbus Day. He's a goddamn serial killer. Yeah. Yeah. They did horrific things and you hear about what his soldiers did to the children of these Native Americans dashing babies heads on rocks. horic stories just bloodbath. Yeah. Yeah. So, so the Native Americans and and there was maybe h a half a one in in our camp. Uh backed to his name. I forgot his name. It'll come to me. Anyway, he uh he was the head of the thing. He was an old biker, ex- biker, been incarcerated most of his life. And David Iello David Iello just he wore a headband. when you join
the sweat sweat lodge society, you're allowed to wear headbands and so so like a gang thing, you know, the headband came really low around his eyes and and he he wouldn't talk to anybody and he he worked in his Indian grounds period. They they let him that's all he had to do. That's badass. So he wasn't even really doing time. No, different kind of time. Once once you once you get that because the Indian uh grounds faced away from the prison. So it was like you're on the grounds and you're looking right out into the desert and the desert was a magical place. The desert had packs of wild dogs. We we were close to Bakersfield a few mile you know maybe 15 20 miles from Bakersfield and people would drop off puppies and unwanted dogs or you know just strays and just kick them out into the desert. Wow. And the dogs packed up and the leader of this one pack was a big Rottweiler. Holy [ __ ] And and and they had everything from little poodles to big ass Rottweilers to German shepherds. All kind what what's it that one dog the real vicious looking one. Anyway, short hair doberman. Yeah, there's a Doberman and and what they would do there shitload of wild rabbits out in Taft and at night they would come on the lawns like hundreds probably thousands of rabbits would come out on and feed and the dogs would jack them. Well, the dogs they they never come into the camp at all. They would never even come close. But what they would do, we watched them from the Indian grounds. They would there's bramble bushes, you know, clumps of thorny bushes, and the the dogs would chase the rabbit into the into the bush and and then the little poodle would would go in and root them out. Really? And the big ones would be waiting at the end. So, they had a whole strategy. Oh, they had a strategy, man. They were so brilliant. And and we tried and we also had wild ground squirrels and and you would feed them by hand and and and the ground squirrels a whole almost as many ground squirrels as there were prisoners. Wow. And we'd walk around this track and take the food that they tried to feed us and feed it to the ground squirrels. And the ground squirrels got fat. One one got so fat couldn't get back down his hole. And then to keep the
ground squirrel population down, hawks. They had these beautiful hawks way up on the light tower and they would sit there and they'd watch the ground squirrels and every once in a while, wow, the ground squirrels would be looking up and they always had a lookout and they'd do some kind of whistle or something if the hawks were coming down. Then they'd whip go into their holes. Wow. And we we fed them until they got so fat. one got so bad and and the I hung up with all the bikers, you know, the old Hell's Angel types and the old bikers. That's that was my set. Uh and we're sitting around and they would play cards and and uh smoke cigarettes outside outside the dorm. And one of the bikers was a electrician and part of his job was keeping all the lights working and the the lights where they had the nest uh was flickering off. I guess the nest got ti tied up with some of the wires and so he had to crawl way up I don't know 40 50 feet up to the light tower and he got up there and he says he found he found uh what do we call him? I forget the the ground the fat ground squirrel fatty. They found him, dad up there. He couldn't get in his hole, so it was hot. Hot and one of Americanized. Yeah. One of the bikers, one of the bikers, you heard the story and he looked at the that tower and he goes, "Ain't no way in hell that ground squirrel crawled all the way up [Laughter] there. Oh my." And he was serious. Oh my god. He was serious. Oh man, that guy was put on this earth to dig holes. There was some comedy in in in prison that I mean that was just one of them. Are you friends with anybody from jail? All everybody. Yeah. Everybody in touch. Yeah. One guy is a he's a caddy for um uh Jeff Overton. He's a professional golfer. He's you watch TV and you watch every once in a while you see Jeff Overton. And uh Eric Larson was my he was the guy one of the first guys I met when I went there. He was he he was doing time uh for cocaine. And what happened he was just a caddy and he was just buying but the dealer got busted. And so the dealer the cops told the dealer, "Give us a name and we'll let you go." And so she the only name she knew was Eric Larson because he was Mark Kelbeck's uh uh caddy at the time. and he was the
only famous one. And so Eric fought it, you know, because he was just a buyer. He wasn't a dealer. He wasn't right distributing or nothing like that. And so they told him if if you fight it, you you go away 14 years. And he he won the first case. Oh my god. They refiled the charges. What? The next day. They refiled the char the charge. Charge them with something else because the feds are they're [ __ ] They're they want to get it done. They wanted to get it done. They want to get you. They They get you. And that's the way the whole drug culture is. Jail was full of And so he ended up 14 years. Oh my god. And his only crime was buying a couple of bags of of coke for for other golfers. That's so sad. But anyway, I I met him and he was at the time he was brilliant guy. He's got two college degrees when he was in in prison. He was in there for 12 years. That's so [ __ ] sad. He went to school and and he and he took advantage of it. He learned how to grow grass and that and he had a garden. He he grew his own garden and then he ended up he tried to get me to work out there with him but the my time was too short. But I ended up going out to the garden all the time anyway. And he would cook for us at night in a microwave and I had the best meals. I swear to God. Yeah. All fresh garden growing vegetables. No [ __ ] It was great. It was great. And and every once in a while we take [ __ ] years, man. Whoever did that is evil. That's they belong in jail. Any anybody from that was a part of that. They belong. They belong. They should be removed. I helped Eric go because when I met him, he was very bitter. Yeah. As you can imagine, [ __ ] wrong. He he not only went to jail, but he went to the toughest prisons out there. And he did his he did rough time for about five years. The roughest time ever. And uh and when I met him, you know, he was very bitter. And so I started counseling him a little bit, you know, and telling him, you know, hey, you know, you can't let prison eat you up like that. It's just amazing that someone could do something like that to him for nothing for a personal choice issue. Well, the the dealer the dealer could have saved his ass and said, you know, why did she turn him in? She's a piece of [ __ ] Yeah, exactly. She just say I, you know, bite the bullet and take your time. She
should rot away. But I I I I I eventually got to Eric and then I made friends with the drug counselor. Oh, really? And so drug Yeah. big friends. I remember when you got out, man, I was listening to this interview and it it made me sad because they were testing you and you couldn't get high. So you would like uh Yeah. You put yourself in the state of mind and you could actually even like give yourself the munchies you were saying. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's all mental. You can you can re reenact that feeling anytime. You know, that's why Chich and Chong are so important to uh a lot of our people because you just mention her name and all of a sudden everybody flashes back to when they were high when they're high and all of a sudden you got a whole audience. There wasn't that many people from that era that were defined by marijuana like you guys were. I mean, you guys are the def definitive. Like I know people that would say, "Let's go chin chong it." That's what they'd say. like you know when they want to go get high they would say let's go chin chong and everybody knew exactly what they were talking about. Absolutely. Yeah. There was no compromise. We weren't guys hey let's get him high you know he'll do some funny [ __ ] you know. No we that's what I wanted when I wrote the uh when Chich and I wrote the up and smoke. That's exactly what what I had in mind. In fact, every movie I did, I I said, I'm not I'm not going to waste a a bit of screen time on anything unless it has to do with with pot. And then we we got offered uh um Corsican Brothers and Che at that time, Cheich was ready to split. He was ready to leave. And Che says, "Well, I don't want to do another pot movie, you know." So I said, "Well, why don't we just make this one a nonpot movie?" And okay. So we did. no pot in it at all and it's a lot of people's favorite movies, you know, but we we reached a point where just being Chich and John was all we needed to be, right? You know, we didn't we didn't have this movie join or anything. And that's the way it is now implied. Yeah, that's the way it is now. You know, like like like when I get introduced, it's like a title, you know. This is Tommy Chong of Chichin Chong. Do you still ever run into people that don't want to like especially professional people that
don't want to be associated with pot? uh actors, uh sing musicians. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's a shitload of people. Depends on which way the wind's blowing, you know, but with me. Oh, yeah. There's there's Oh, listen. Saturday Night Live. You ever wonder why Chichin Chong have never hosted Saturday Night Live? Why is that? Lauren Michaels does not like Chichin Chong. Really? Why does he not? Does he conservative? We came up when Akroyd and uh and Belushi were together and Akroyd and Belushi caused it caused him so much grief but he couldn't fire them because they were they were the stars right and but he he he never had control of those guys and Belushi was a big Chong Chichin Chong fan big time and I guess Akroyd was too but Belushi was he was he was like a fan Right. Right. Right. From the get-go, he he started, in fact, he was with Second City and he kept they're trying to do an album because Chichin Chong didn't know how, right? And Blu and and the producer kept saying, "Uh, that's two Chichin Chong." Two ch That's funny. Yeah. They recently had a parody of you guys on Saturday Night Live. On Saturday Night Live. Yeah. And that kind of kind kind of got me because why didn't they have us, right? I mean, we we were available. What was the parody? Can you play it? Uh what's his name? Um is this it? Brian. Yeah, I think it What's the What's the co the quarterback that won last year? Uh the brother. I don't I don't know. Manning. One of the Mannings. Pton Manning. Known for their irreverent pot drug humor. The pair starred in several feature films throughout the 1970s. But did you know that Chichin Chong initially had a third member? It's true. Tonight, we show you the original cuts of their films with the original lineup. Let's take a look at 1978's Up in Smoke. [Music] We got to get to the concert, man. Even if we got speed. Wait, you got speed, man? Did you guys see Donnie Marie last night? It was a hoop. I didn't mean speed for me. I mean speed for the car, man. You give your car a speed? That's heavy, man. Oh, that's dirty, man. My cousin Paco made a lawn mower that runs on Maui Wowi. Is that story true? Sometimes I can't even tell with you,
Che. Richard. Hey, did I tell you guys who's in town? Greg Taylor. Remember I told you about him? He and I went to camp together. That's great, Richard. Hey, man. You want to get stoned? Yeah, man. Let's get those things. Pass. No thanks. Yeah. Join, man. All right. No, I better not, friends. I have a scholarship to Indiana University. I cannot be around drugs. Would you mind pulling over? Yeah, sure thing, Richard. Right up here is great. Thanks. Hey, see you, Richard. Yeah. Goodbye, Richard. No, millions. That was funny. Yeah, but why didn't they use teaching charm? Well, well, they could use it for something else, but you wouldn't work for that because then you would have to go back in time. Yeah. No, that's true. But I mean I I think just out of uh you know respect for the culture, you know, they should have had us on there. Yeah. You've never been on there once. Never once. That's ridiculous. Never once. How dare he? That show is Britney Spears. He'll have all these, you know, Payton Manning or whatever. In my opinion, that show is always too missed to for me to give it enough. There's some hits for sure, but it's so, you know, it's hit and miss, but so much mess that I'm not willing to invest any time into it. It's hard. It's the hardest form of entertainment to do a live sort of a sketch comedy show once a week. It's such a crapshoot as to whether or not things are going to actually be funny. Well, they got no time. They got no time to make it funny. Yeah. You say, "I got an idea. We don't have time. Boom. Let's do Yeah. Yeah. They have to hustle through things and some things get past you like what the [ __ ] kind of thinking was going on there?" But that's what kind of bothered me, you know, when we started doing concerts u lately. Um, some of some of the concert when I started when I I got kind of got back into the music for a hot second and uh it was all about speed, you know, rock. It was all about, okay, you guys, you got 15 minutes, get on, let's go listen, you know, got some backstage goof, you know, telling you, oh yeah, hurry up, hurry up, hurry up, we got to Why were you Why were they telling you when to do it or what kind of shows were you had other people with you, you know? Yeah. Other acts going on. Oh, so they're trying to get out everybody on, right?
And then certain certain acts if they're stars, they're in their trailer, they're not coming out, you know, right? But but any act they can bully, you know, then they would I I just didn't see this like music festivals what it is. Yeah. This is a few years ago. I I got both my sons, one's a bass player, one's a drummer, and uh I put a little thing together, you know, a little music bit together. Uhhuh. There just the three of us. And uh it was good for one summer, you know, it was a lot of fun. But music, you know, it's a it's a I you know, we we one thing about comedy, you know, we we command, you know, we're out there. It's our stage. Yeah. You know, I don't like sharing stages. Yeah. Well, it's hard when you have a vision of what you want to accomplish and then somebody else does. Then the the key to being in a band, I guess, is figuring out how to compromise and making as many people happy as possible while still getting out some fragment or portion of your creative vision. But it's certainly much easier to get out your full creative vision by yourself. But I love it. I love it. you know, I I thought about, you know, now especially now, you know, because I got Chic and I, you know, we finished our touring and that and so I was playing around with the idea of, you know, putting a band together and then, but I think about the hassle, who knows? In fact, I'd rather just chop down, you know, I'd like to when, you know, Shelby and I were out there alone or just being alone, you know. Mhm. I don't mind that at all. I like it. Yeah. It's it's a lot easier to to do whatever you want to do. You don't have to answer to anybody. Mind trips, you know, that's what you're doing with people. Like I put the sweat lodge in in the show and the first time I did it, this club owner came running backstage and screaming at my wife, you know, what's he doing? What's he doing? He's been talking about rocks for 15 minutes. The club owner was yelling at your wife. Yeah. Where was this? This is Craig uh in Kansas City. Oh, that crazy [ __ ] Yeah, Beetlejuice. Yeah, you know, that guy's a real character, man. Yeah. What's he doing up there? He's talking about rocks. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Yeah. He sounds He does sound like Beetlejuice, doesn't he?
Yeah, he was funny. Well, that's the kind of club that's that's the kind of dates I did when I was in Denver. Man, when I was in Denver, I don't know. I don't even remember smoking. I don't think I did. I did five shows and not one was like the other. I did five totally different shows. How come? I just could do it. You just could do I got the audience going. Yeah. And I got Well, Denver is a stony town. Once I got them going, I just never never got back onto the script. Right. And then when my wife and I, which we we do a set bit, when we hit the set bit, we literally got standing ovations. Really? Yeah. Wow. That was it was the greatest high. And then we sold merch after and met everybody. It was like old days, you know. Wow. Cuz there was a time when we used to bring a case of bongs with us, you know, and sell them. So what I did, I I sold these uh nata pipes, th those things. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The necklaces. I I had I grabbed a bunch. I don't know. Something something told me, "Yeah, take it." You know, because growing up with Chich is is is was fine and everything, you know, but confined, you know, it's Chich and Chong, you know. Do you find it that there's certain spots in the country where you're more uh welcomed or they connect with you or they're they're more into pot humor? Yeah. Well, Denver for sure. Denver for sure. Right. Denver. Denver. Isn't marijuana decriminalized in the city? And then they have their they have uh medical marijuana. Also, they have dispensaries. There's some I think they I don't know if they call it Grosterdam or what, but there's a whole street. They even got a system of um of what do you call naming the the the clubs, you know, like this is A, B, and C, I guess. Oh, you mean like rating them? They're rating them. Yeah. Really? Yeah. Like the town has something like that. Rating dispens. Yeah, man. There it's very accepted there. It's a [ __ ] great town. I I love Colorado, man. I'm I'm going back there August 10th. I think I've got a show in Denver. Whatever that Friday is. Uh I can't wait to get back there. This I think there's something. It's my opinion, but when you're you grow up in a place like Denver where
it's a city, but it's also in face of some of the most staggering mother nature. Like when you look at those mountains, the Rocky Mountains are a [ __ ] And if you're in Denver, like I remember we were at a radio station once. We were just, it was like high uh up in this office building and we're sitting there on the 20th floor, whatever the [ __ ] it was, looking out there and you see the Rocky Mountains, you're like, "God damn, son." Would you ever get tired of looking at that? That's the goddamn Rocky Mountains. You know, I I grew up in Calgary, so so the Rocky Mountains. I think when you see mountains and [ __ ] like that, I think it puts you in a more mellow sort of uh place, more humbling. It's Yeah. It puts you in proportion. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The ocean does the same thing. Yeah. in the desert. Yeah, desert. I don't know if the desert is as much as makes you want to [ __ ] people to death and cut them up and leave them in a hole. All the wars are being fought in the desert. Yeah. So, it sucks there. You know, I watched this thing in the Taliban where the Taliban shot some woman, you know, cuz they accused her of adultery. And all I could think of is this this this whole situation sucks. Where they live sucks. The weather sucks. The culture sucks. This whole situation sucks. Like, this would not happen if it was Brazil. In Brazil, you know that you don't accuse a woman of adultery. You just deal with it and move on, [ __ ] Because girls are hot as [ __ ] and they're everywhere. Just get over it. But in Afghanistan, it's such a [ __ ] struggle. Well, it's because of the inbreeding, I think. Maybe it's also because that's where the oldest culture comes from. Yeah. I mean, it's they're like the townies of the world is what it's like. If everything started there, Mesopotamia, Babylon, Iraq, Sumeare, that's what they think. They think that everything started there. If that's where garden of Eden well if that was real right whatever that is the analogy of that is but that from that but that's where they wrote it that's where they that's where that whole the stories came from yeah they also had stories that supposedly come from even earlier that they were like retold you know but but my point is like that's the spot where it all began everybody agrees to that so
if that's the spot where it all began the people that are still there we're writing we're mathematics agriculture writing I mean that's that's how Oh, you got the great buildings there. It was all thanks to the Arabs. Yeah, sure. Persian algebra. Yes. It wasn't for algebra. Yeah. The Arabs and the Muslims in general, I mean, came up with some amazing discoveries. It's just it's what's going on now is this radical offshoot of it, you know, that seems to have been accepted. And they they've backed everybody in the corner where if you accept Islam at all, you know, you have to be on the side of these radical [ __ ] Like there's there's like there's this there's this connection in a lot of people's minds to that, you know, that we we don't even see Muslims. We just see radical Muslims. That's all anybody sees. And like this is a religion that will not stop until this happens. And it just it becomes this weird form of uh brainwashing on our part and almost like reinforcing reality on their part. The more we talk about them willing to blow themselves up, guarantee you the more they're willing to blow themselves up. The more we talk about how terrified we are of that, the more they're going to employ those tactics. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's the whole that's the whole secret, you know. Yeah. It's a life is like a a workout. If if you look at the weights and say, "Oh god, that that's heavy. Oh, I'll never be able to do that." You're not going to be able to work out, right? But if you walk in there and go, "Wow, that's going to help me." You know what the bottom translation is? The universe does not like [ __ ] That's what it is. The universe frowns upon [ __ ] That's what it is. The universe doesn't want you got to you got to get get your [ __ ] together, [ __ ] There's a right way. Every minute of every day, you're taking a decision. You're making you you're carving a path. You're choosing to say certain things and go certain places and act certain ways. You know, you know which way you could go. Well, what it is is you know the better way. It it's a vibe. See, people don't really realize the kind of vibe they're putting out. Mhm. You know, that's why the pedophiles and that, you know, you know, they've had a [ __ ] up life and so they they're
pursuing it out there. But for some reason, you get a crowd of people and all of a sudden you can, there's one weirdo in there, you know, the vibe you pick up that vibe. Whoa. Well, one angry heckler could [ __ ] up a whole crowd of 300 people. Have you ever had that happen? One person's just angry for no reason, yelling at you and you're like, "What is going on with you, man?" Yeah, sometimes it can be about something you say. Like I some woman got super mad cuz I was doing this joke about that. The the idea being that you shouldn't there's a big difference between having a man uh molesting uh a young girl or young boy and a woman molesting a young boy because it's if a chick's hot like if a woman's hot, we barely care. You know, you barely care if you hear that like some seven-year-old got if you walked in and there was a seven-year-old getting blown by like the hottest girl in the world. And he was like, you know, like raising his fist in triumph. And I uh I saw this woman go, "That's it. That's it." And she gets up and she's like, "Fuck this. I'm not listening to this. This is [ __ ] terrible. It's disgusting." And as she was saying it, she's like walking through the club, just like poisoning the atmosphere of the club. I I got lucky that I turned it into a pot. I was like, "Listen, I just want to point out that there was no this is a work of fiction and no real babies were blown during the making of any of this material." So, I started going on this explanation about it about how, you know, in a Stephen King movie, Carrie can light things on fire with her eyes, right? But you're telling me that some seven-year-old kid wouldn't like getting his dick sucked in my fiction. That's much more likely. It's very very very touchy. Yeah, because lot of lot of lot of people probably she's probably went through some some weird thing. A lot of people. I think a lot of people I think, you know, I dodged a bullet twice in my youth from uh being molested. Once when I was like eight and once when I was like 13. I dodged two bullets. I got to think a lot of people get hit. A lot of people get fragged. Well, I I got well kind of molested when I was learning how to swim. Really? They had free swimming lessons at the YMCA. The only problem was or the only thing was that we didn't need bathing
suits. Oh, Jesus Christ. There were literally 20 20 young guys with no bathing suit. Oh my god. Swimming. Learn how to swim. Oh my god. And the YMCA guys were Okay, one more time. Oh my god. Okay, boys. Over there again. Okay. No, you're doing good. So, he's just watching you or was he touching? Yeah. No, no. Just just just just watching teaching you how to swim. Wow. What a crazy [ __ ] But but but was I mean, why did he stand behind a podium and beat off while you guys are swimming? I never really see I see at the time, you know, you you don't you don't think you're innocent. Yeah. You're totally innocent. Yeah. And then then another time I was I would never got really hit on. I was playing basketball at the Y in Hollywood and um there's a locker room there. No, this is in New York. This is in New York City. And there's a locker and this guy comes up. Hi. you want to you want to catch a buzz later? And I looked around to see who was talking to you. He says, "No, you I'm talking to you. Do you want to catch a buzz later?" I says, "Uh, I don't think so." And then he reaches in his his locker and pulls out the thickest pair of glasses I've ever seen. He puts them on, he looks at me, he goes, "Oh, never mind. I'm sorry." Oh, that's hilarious. Do you think that is he thought you were someone else? Or he found out what you really looked like and he's like, damn, I can do better than this dude. He's like, I'm not ready to cash in my tag this early. I'm still going to go out hunting. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's what it was. Never mind. Thank you. Sorry. Wrong wrong wrong guy. So, how often are you going out and doing standup now? And if how how can people see you? We got one more gig. And did you ever do the Ice House? Hm. You should do the Ice House. You ever do the Ice House? We teach and I started here. Did you really? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Bob Stain used to come. Never paid us. You paid us though. He did pay us. Wasn't much. 50 bucks I think for for both of us. This is back in 19 70. What was 50 bucks worth back then? It was like a hundred bucks, 500 bucks for Chinary. Yeah, it was a lot of
money. Was it Was it 50 B? I'm just trying to put it in perspective. Well, we we weren't working. We were But what was it worth today? Like with the inflation? Oh, let's see. What was I don't know. I would you say like a couple hundred bucks? Probably five bucks. Five. No, no. What was it? Oh, so it's five times more. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, 250 bucks. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay. So, every time you work, you got to eat and pay your rent and all that [ __ ] We a little bit of rent and a little bit of food. What was like our month's rent in apartment back then? But we but Lily Tomlin used to come and and try out all their material here. Oh, really? And uh Ste does Steve Martin work here? Yeah, Steve Martin. Yeah, there's David Letterman's contract is on the wall from him working here. He he got pissed off at Chich and John because after we made it when we made it big, we mentioned every club but the ice house. How come we didn't mention the Ice House? They forgot about it. [ __ ] Pasadena, man. Oh yeah. Yeah. We we the trouidor. We mentioned the trouidor, right? A few other clubs. This is my favorite club in the country. And then then the ISO. I mean, comedy wise, we we we killed he he had a clean policy for years. Did he really? That's hilarious. Cuz now Joey Diaz does every Wednesday. Who do you know? Joey Diaz? Joey Diaz? He's a good friend of ours. He's uh on podcast all the time. Standup comedian. Cuban guy. Oh, I'm thinking of Nick Diaz. No, that's the fighter. Yeah, the fighter. I know what Diaz I know. Yeah. No, Joey Diaz is probably the funniest guy on the planet. Is he? Yeah. He's my friend. Been friends with him for like 10 years. I don't know anybody who makes me laugh more than that guy. More than 10 years. [ __ ] Me and Joey have been friends like 15. He's stand up. Yeah. Yeah. He's hilarious. Ridiculous. Ridiculous. Potad, too. Yeah. Oh, of course. Every day. He's going to start doing Joey's going to start doing a new Ustream show uh two or three days a week by himself at 6:00 in the morning because he gets up at 6 and he smokes weed and listens to music and then he goes for a walk and he'll go to this dispensary, you know, buy his weed and he's going to document it all on Ustream. So every morning, you know how many days a week he chooses to do this?
He's going to do at least twice. He says he's going to get up at 6:00 in the morning. He goes, I'm going to put on a [ __ ] lecture for these [ __ ] This is how he talks. He goes, I want to play them the right music. I'm gonna get that Ustream working. He goes, "Every day, [ __ ] it. I'm up anyway. I'm up anyway. Six o'clock. I'm not gonna bother." He's gonna start doing And he works here all the time. Oh, yeah. Yeah. All the time. Which was hilarious. He's so dirty. He's like one of the dirtiest guys ever. And he's like a regular here. Well, Stain Bob at first, you know, like Lily Tolman and all the street laughing people, you know, they would come and make an appearance here, right? And it was very very straight, you know. That's funny. Well, times change, you Well, Chichin Chong, well, we did our act, you know, we never held back. Did anybody ever try to censor you? Not really. Lately, lately, uh, we were at a casino in Bixie in Mississippi. Mississippi. And, um, we're just about to do the show, you know, doing a sound check. Got my son, uh, working the roadie. And we're setting the mics up that then the guy comes. He's old by the way. Um, I just want to remind you, you know, the chief uh uh really religious and so you got to really watch your language. We looked at him. What is he? Yeah, you got to watch. I said, "Well, what happens if we don't?" He's, "Well, he could pull the plug on you. He's been known to do that." Wow. So, I said, "Wow, okay." So then I went and told Chi and or the guy came in the dressing room and I told Chich, I said, "Ch, the guy wants us to do a clean show." She says, "Fuck that, man. Who what [ __ ] wants to do a clean show?" Tell me, "Is this a [ __ ] [ __ ] that. I ain't doing no [ __ ] clean show." Kind of He knew Chich was joking. What we did, we cut down my wife's show because she she she gets a little a little out there. She gets graphic. Well, she gets a little out there, you know, that would that would piss him off, you know. Chichin John, we never did, you know. So, it's a sexual thing he's worried about. No, it was it was just the the the what do you call the the producer? Right. Right. But what was the content that they were worried about? Was it bad words? Bad words. What
what it was? He's sucking up to the chief. Right. You know what what it was? He never told the chief who Chich and Chong really were. Oh, see now at the last moment. Last m he knew. But the chief didn't know the I I guess how the [ __ ] can you be a chief and not know who Chichin Chong is? Well, how dare he? Yeah. But anyway, we uh it it never hurt. Although Chich did [ __ ] leader is that? Chich did do one uh one bit where where a couple of people got up and left. Really? Yeah. What was the bit? Yeah. Was about his favorite director and he turned out to be Roman Blansky. Rodriguez. Paul Rodriguez. Uh, no. Robert Robert Rodriguez. Robert Rodriguez. Because he had great dialogue in his movie. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] You got hairy [ __ ] No [ __ ] Harry, you know, right? Ball [ __ ] Black [ __ ] Yellow [ __ ] Any kind of [ __ ] Get it right here. That was it. Couple couple [ __ ] got up. We've heard enough. Enough. It's funny how people in comedy clubs want to change want to change your act. Well, they like to they they want to drive the car. Yeah. They they just want to have it over you. Sure. You know, they don't like the fact that that you getting all the tension. The worst is when you uh get booked into a club and then once you get to especially if you're like when I was, you know, I was like middling. And I couldn't I wasn't really making real money. And I would get sent to these clubs in the middle of nowhere and you would get there and they would have like their own standards to impose on you. Like I would get off stage like I don't know if anybody talks to you about the language but you can't talk like that. I'm like you better [ __ ] fire me cuz this is what I'm doing. This is what I do. There's only one way to make an audience, okay? And to get people to come back and see you. You got to do what you actually do cuz you know if you pretend that I got booked with my act. This is my act. I'm going to do it. So there was like a she had to call the booking agent and the booking agent was like that's what I booked and this is you know it's like and she was just in a manager just a manager that decided she was going to be a sensor. It wasn't uh her name wasn't Connie was it? No it was somewhere in New York. It was um Oh
yeah. It was one of those [ __ ] comedy clubs in the middle of nowhere. I don't even remember where it was. What part of New York it was. One of those weird little shitty clubs. But that's the thing that a lot of comics have to go through cuz club owners, you know, they don't I mean, you don't want to take a chance and have some [ __ ] come in and run all your customers out with foul humor. Well, I mean, you get you got to listen, do your homework, find out who you're booking on that stage. Exactly. I gave them a tape. The tape had the same material that I was doing. They back then, that's how you get a you have to get a guy to make a VHS tape of you and you could make copies of it with two VHS recorders connected together. And you always had a friend who knew how to do that and he could edit it and it was the edits were terrible. And there was like a big fuzzy pause in between sets that you did in different places. So you'd send it out to a club and they go, "Oh, guy's got a good act. All right, I'll book them." And that's how you got work. You you have to send tapes out. We That would be a big part of your job, trying to get go places and send tapes out. When when you guys were We had We had albums that we sent out. That's what we did. That's what it was. That's what got people to come and see you guys. Oh, yeah. Did you have to do radio or anything back in those days? Tons of radio. Yeah, I still do radio to let people know you're in town. I love I love doing radio. How often are you on Twitter? Cheese doesn't like I I try to be, you know, every day, but Che doesn't like radio. No. No. How come? He's He's, you know, lazy. He's lazy. Is that what it is? Yeah, basically. Does he like acting more than than performing? He likes acting. He loves acting. He loves getting paid for, you know, just talk, pretend, sitting around. Yeah. Is that what it He's not he he doesn't he he's not a threat to Mensia or anybody. Oh, on stage mean? Yeah. I'm not even sure what that means. So, he doesn't like he's like if it's not he's not like going up on week nights and working on No, no, no, no, not at all. No. In fact, he he never he he went out what did he do? He went out and MC Latin Kings of Comedy. Right. Right. That's about it. What was it? Did you ever ask him what it was like
working with Don Johnson for all those years? A little bit. Chich and I got a different We got a We're got to walk on, you know, tiptoes around him. Oh, really? Yeah. Kind of. Is it because you guys just worked together for so long? You just No, there was few bad decisions made that we don't talk about, you know. Oh, okay. You know, when when we broke up, the the the bond was broken, you know. Yeah. I mean, but no, I mean, there's still memories, you know? It's almost like a like ex-wife, you know, get together for the kids, right? That's weird, man. Yeah. What what what drove you guys apart? Was it ego? Was it money? Was it No, it was fear of not working, I think. Fear of not working. Yeah. Well, Chon as he got offered offered something on his own, he took it. Mhm. Yeah. Was it that or was it that just he just wanted to be independent, wanted to be able to make his own money? I think a lot of it he didn't like the fact that I was the the alpha dog. You know, you were the guy who wrote everything. Well, I directed for sure, right? You know, I directed and a lot of decisions. I made all the decisions, you know. And one of the decisions I made, uh, we got offered a big television contract back in the back in the day, you know, and I turned it down, you know, big money, you I I don't know how I did it, but I did it. I just said that. What were they trying to get you to do? Was a sitcom? Well, it it ended up being Chico and the Man. Whoa. In fact, it was one that Chico and the Man was one of our bits. Whoa. Oh, Jimmy Comx. Jimmy Comx followed us around for about 4 months. Chico and the Man was one of your bits. Yeah. How did it go? What was it like? Well, we did a a bit called Old Man in the Park. Uhhuh. And Cho would come up with a with a comb. He real tough guy. And and the old guy and him would have a little argument, you know, and I would I would insult him pretty bad. So they just copied that and turned it into a sitcom. He got an old man Albert and he got Chico Freddy Prince and they turned it into a sitcom. Yeah. And for folks who don't know, Freddy Prince for one small but brief moment in time was one of the biggest stars in the country. He was huge television star. Huge. And went crazy and committed suicide. Yeah. Yeah. And
then they tried the show without him. And that's one of the reasons that that um that I turned down television because I I don't like losing control, right? You know, I found and nothing works. Mhm. You know, if I don't have control of something, we don't sell anything and nothing works. Well, it's not going to be your vision. It's going to be someone's idea of what your vision should be. And that's not the same thing. You know, what it is, it's it's someone's vision that doesn't have a an offer. You know, it's a production company that goes, "Hey, I got a great idea. you the to the teacher, you're this and and they're the ones who put up the money so they want Yeah. They want money and da da and we try to sell a bunch of stuff lately and no one's interested, you know. Yeah. I mean, because no is is the best filter in this town, you know, just say no and if the guy wants it bad enough, he'll he'll keep at it until you say yes, right? But when they say no to Chichin Chong, it's like, oh, okay, next. You know, let's go somewhere else. And yeah, you guys are icons, you know, together. You guys doing a comedy show is no fail. It's like if you are a respectable stoner and Chichin Chun coming in Denver, you got to go see them. Yeah. But what we have to do like if it's on television, we we can't have it watered down, you know? We can't be Why go on television? Just stick with the internet, man. Do something like this. Have a shame show. You guys [ __ ] fill arenas every day of the week. You do do like a YouTube show or used to, didn't you? Or like a like a blog type video. Yeah, I did. I did a lot of that. Yeah, I those were really interesting. you stopped doing them or Yeah. Well, uh, we went on tour and then I couldn't get the mics working. Oh, that's hilarious. You know, we don't have a My son actually set it up and we started off. But where are you doing your podcast out of? My house. You going to do it out of your house? Are you setting up like a studio there? Yeah, I got it set up. It's all set up. Ready to go. I'm just Why are you going to wait till September? Um, well, my son gets back in Oh, you want to do it with him? I'm going to wait until he gets back and then kind of build up build up the uh antipation from now. Yeah, the anticipation. Oh, that's a good idea.
You're clever. Look at you, you marketing genius. We never thought about that. We just started out of just [ __ ] goofing on it. We I've never even tried to promote this thing. This thing is became this by itself. But you could tell like look where it is. It's a room. What do you need? Comedy club. Yeah, that's all you do need. Room with [ __ ] cool [ __ ] on the wall and some mannequins. It look like Brian's ex-girlfriend. And a toilet. In a toilet plush and zombies. Yeah. By the way, we're getting a bet here, dude. We're getting uh one of those electronic crazy things. I'll I'll when it all happens, I'll mention on the podcast. It's a um a company that's offered to send us uh one of those cool Japanese butthole cleaning toilets. Oh, I'm so psyched. Yeah. Yeah, those are amazing. I was in Tokyo in the in the bathroom. I couldn't get out of them. They're wonderful. Heated and it squirts water right in your [ __ ] and you just don't want to get up. Did you beat off? Did you beat off? No, I just sat there for like 10 minutes just letting it just do that. Yeah, I beat off once. once during the weekend. It was fantastic. Great. It's warm water tickling your butthole. Why is that so terrible? How could it be so bad feel so good? That's what I have to say. Well, the Japanese are into into clean pleasure, too. They feel like you figured out a lot of [ __ ] about martial arts, too. And they make a badass car. Yeah, they are super clean people. Like they they just like they used to take showers multiple times a day. They evolved on a totally different line than than Western America. It's very fascinating to me when I look at Japanese culture. I think it's amazing. The samurai culture, the fact that there's so many martial arts, iikido, jiu-jitsu, karate, all these different things come out of Japan, you know, so so much comes out of Japan. It's a it's an amazing place. Japan will take it and refine it. Yeah. They'll take somebody else's like like martial arts. They took it from India cars and they they'll refine it into something the Prius. I drive a Prius. All my friends, how dare you? You hippie. Driving Prius. Very hippie. that I Yeah, everybody loves those things. Yeah, they're the perfect not give a
[ __ ] about a car. Car you can have, you know, just there it is. It's a car. It gets me from here to there and it easy on gas and you can put It doesn't sound like a Mustang. You know what I'm talking about, Tommy Chun? When you fire up a Sheld GT500 and you hear that, you can shift your own gears. You feel like a [ __ ] man again. You feel alive. Only trouble is all you see in your future is traffic school. Yeah. You know, you can't be an [ __ ] with it. But even just regular driving when you have a car like a Mustang. I tried to get, you know, customized my Prius. And so I I I had I had it lowered. I had had it on uh on hydraulics. Hydraulics. Wouldn't that defeat the whole purpose? All the weight of the hydraulics would make the gas mileage terrible. No. No. Forget gas. I had dual pipes. I had um Did you really have all this stuff? Yeah, I had you really had hydraulics put in there. I had it I had the tail lights blacked out and you murdered that [ __ ] And then I ended up uh getting arrested getting a ticket really for everything. Well, for the tail lights for sure. And then I had to go to court and the guy was a fan and he says, "Well, come back at 1:00, you know." And so I come back at one. I thought, you know, the judge is coming back and I I'll say thank you. Goodbye. I had to stand up in front of the thing. How do you plead? And and get a get a $10 fine. Damn. Yeah. $10. Wait. Wait for everybody. $10 because your car had tinted uh brake lights. Is that brake lights? Yeah. Yeah. Silly [ __ ] So So I I I just took it right back to what it was. No more statement. But was it better looking once you did it? Oh, it was phenomenal. It looked so good because I could lower it right onto the ground. Have you ever seen the Lotus car that they made out of hemp? The hemp Lotus. I think I have. No, I don't. We showed pictures of it on this uh podcast before. Lotus made a car. By the way, the first car, you know, that was made out of hemp. Henry Ford's first body panels made out of hemp. And there's videos of him hitting it with a hammer. Yeah. And the it bounces up. People don't really believe like half the [ __ ] I say because I'm obviously no scientist and I'm half [ __ ] But if you just watch some of the videos of what what's
capable and possible with the the hemp that's that's constructed into body panels, it's amazing that they don't do it today to this day. Well, they had the electric car, too. I wonder how much it would cost to get This is a good question. I'm going to put this out there to the universe. How much would it cost to get a Corvette and replace all those fiberglass body panels with hemp and have it in the exact same shape? I don't know. I I would be willing to spend the can, man. Dude, do it, please. I'd be willing to spend a lot of money. That go to the can, take a leak, and then we'll come back and wrap this up. Oh, can I I just want to thank everyone that came to that Doug Benson taping that we did uh the other day. It was I mean, they people brought um Olive Garden bread sticks to me and people stole Olive Garden menus. It's just ridiculous. But uh How fun was Vegas? Oh, it was great. How fun was Dice? Dice? That was another thing I completely forgot about that. We went to go see Dice and I was really kind of in the back of my head thinking, "All right, this is not going to be as good." I don't think, you know, I I just I don't know. I just, for some reason, I just didn't think like he was going to be as good as in my head. Don't say that. Well, I'm just being honest. But he I understand you being honest. He blew He blew me out. Wait. Oh, you didn't think I was going to be good, huh? I mean, this [ __ ] guy his jokes per minute like he like he's just like bam bam bam bam. Red group over here. Red group. whatever the [ __ ] his name is. This [ __ ] No, I mean like there were certain people you're you're you know after a while you're like I wonder if they still have it and you know and that's just just what I kind of thought maybe never doubted for a moment that we would have it. Never doubt. I've always been a Dice Clay fan. Watching when I used to work at the comedy store, I used to love to watch him get angry and yell at people and like he always dice mean, you know, he keeps he brings it up to this day cuz I always say I love when dice mean comes out cuz he would [ __ ] torture people and he's in character. So this [ __ ] he says is so crazy that's his character is in my opinion one of the funniest characters in the history of comedy and a lot of
people misunderstand it and a lot of people get mad at him and say that no this is misogynism this is racism this is this is re this is how he really thinks you're you couldn't be further from the truth you couldn't be more wrong he's a combination of reality and fiction he's a human walking amalgamage what what is the word amalgamithm amalgam quickly Amalgamithm. No. What is the word? Amalgamize. When you amalgamize. What is the hell? What the hell is the word? A human amalgam. No, that's not the word. You're using too big of words. Yeah. Well, whatever it is, he's a combination of reality and his creation. Yeah. He's He's dice clay. He And when you watch him, you understand if you go and watch like a full like hour set, he doesn't mean what he's saying. Even I I we came backstage after the show and he was Who's this? Dice Clay. Oh, yeah. We came backstage after the show and he was so happy that we were there. It was it came with Jim Norton and uh Anthony Kumia from Opie and Anthony Kelly and Robert Kelly and and Brian and Sam Roberts. And so we all came backstage. We're telling him how how great it was and everything. He was so happy. But he was like he'll he tells you his formula. He goes he goes, "I do no research." He goes, "I'm wrong about everything I say, but I say it with such conviction, you know, like he he knows what he's doing. It's it's this creation." And it was [ __ ] awesome. We had a great time. That was some of the hardest I've laughed at standup comedy in a while. He he he he's got that great New York attitude. It's an attitude. Yeah. Well, he's perfected that. I mean, those gangsters so goofy. The gangster types, you know, they'll do it every time. I remember one time I was in B. We're at a some convention or something and the mountains and beautiful that there one one record B Alberta. It's in the Rocky Mountains like Denver in the middle of the ski area. And we're standing outside and this New York guy looked around. He goes, "Ain't nature a cocksucker?" I bet it was Joey Diaz. He's never been to Canada. That's But I mean that that that's it. That is what a guy from New York would say, too. Yeah. There's there's that that style of humor. There's it's really
not not like anywhere else. That New York attitude is a very different sort of it's endearing to a certain extent irritating and [ __ ] you know, for the most part, but there's parts of it like when Dice nails it that's so endearing. That's the greatest thing about his act. It was really fun. Funny. I love Dice, man. And you know, when he did the movie, I I was so sad. Oh god, he had he had such a shot. He had a shot. Yeah. But all he had to do was get a dice clay to direct it, you know. Right. Right. Right. That's all he needed. Well, that was also while the protests were going on. People were protesting his act. Women's group are protesting. Gay. Yeah. No, but you can't go backwards, you know. You you can't take that [ __ ] back. Edge. Yeah. Take the edge back. What you got to do is make him your friend like you like you you do, you know? Well, he didn't have they didn't have the internet back then, so you needed someone to put you in something. You needed someone to, you know, unless you were doing just concerts. Yeah. But I mean, he had a he's a good actor. Yeah, he is a good actor. Fine actor. I saw him in another movie, a little little lowbudget movie, and he played a serious role, you know. Well, that's why he's such a good comic. He's got he's got performance chops. Got timing. Yeah. Yeah, he's got timing. Great timing. It was really fun. We saw him at the Riviera, which is also like stepping into a time capsule cuz the Riviera has photos on the wall from the 1950s. Oh, this is uh in Vegas. Yeah, Vegas. He does the top of the Riv. Yeah, the the theater at the top. He does a bunch of shows there apparently. Does it all time? I worked there with my wife. Oh, did you? Yeah. Shelby. And Shelby, you know, she she's I am banned her basically, you know. She She'd never been on stage. And you made her get on stage. No. Well, I wanted her to come on the ro with me, you know, and she goes, "Oh, that's awesome." I said, "I'll put you in the show because she was taking acting." And so, she Okay, right away, you know, give her a job, she'll do it. So, so she did five minutes, you know, introduced me. Did you write her material? Yeah, I wrote quite a bit of her stuff, you know, and and and I got her got her going, got her
and she's she's doing good now. Now she's now she's having it, you know, and so we're we're doing club after club and we're doing really good and people are loving her and that and so we get a we get gigged uh booked with Bobcat. Bobcat Goldway. Yeah. Bobcat Goldway. And and Bobcat had just dumped it just just dumped his wife for a young girl and Shelby mentioned mentioned it on in her show like she's just doing her show, right? And she said, "Oh yeah, Bobcat. No, you got the new wife." Yeah. Something blah blah blah. Bobcat almost had a miscarriage. He was literally crying to me. Crying? Yeah. In tears. He said, "Did you hear what your wife said to me said about me?" And I looked at him. I said, "Am I this is the top of the rib." I said, "Am I in the wrong club or something?" You know, this is a comedy club. That's what you do. This is This is what you do. It's just a new wife, right? Why is that bad? Why is it bad to have a new wife? If you're in love with someone enough to marry him, what it was, why is it bad? What it was is that Bobcat has never really considered himself a comic. What? No, he he's he's a movie director or something, you know, but he's never really considered himself. But he he was for a long time. Well, he was he did his act, but it was a character, you know, that but I'm pretty sure he still does stand up and now he's done. I think he got over that character and now he does himself. We had him on the podcast. He actually No, no, he's he's very talented and all that, but he cried like a like a little [ __ ] baby, you know, and and he wanted me What do What do you want me to do? What year was this? In the '90s. Yeah. See, he hadn't gotten on the internet yet. He was a baby like all of us. Oh, maybe. Children of the times. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we all needed to be educated as I mean, you get you get sensitive, you know, in a comedy club. I mean, anybody else, you know, you you take your your your hits with everybody else, you know. That is true. Yeah. Yeah. But he was and Craig, especially at a comic. Craig was there. Same place from Kansas. No, no, no. This was in in Vegas at the river at the top of the river and he was there. Crazy killing hookers. What are you doing?
Well, yeah. He he came with a or some weird chick. Yeah. But uh but Bobcat and Bobcat was Oh, he was he was he was so mad. Well, some some comics, you know, do wear their heart and their sleeve. So, a lot of us got into comedy because we're [ __ ] up in the first place, you know. That's a big percentage. Yeah. You know, so I give him a mulligan for the 90s. He got it right. I I really enjoyed having him on the podcast, too. Although, I still have not seen God Bless America. Did you see it yet, Brian? No, I haven't. Which one? He just directed a new movie that's people are, you know, almost unanimously praising. I've heard over and over again that it's amazing. He's a very talented guy. I got to check it out. But it's seems kind of dark. I don't want him to bum me out. Isn't it funny how that is now? Have you seen Ted? No, I haven't. I heard his so fun. I heard I heard I mean going there going there you know expecting to laugh you know good laughs good laughs well I love Seth McFarland he's got a great attitude I like that dude I like listening to him when he does interviews I like I like his attitude I met him once he was super nice and and what's the guy the star Mark Eye Mark Mark Wahberg awesome he's awesome act his off he's getting a little bit too anal for me though anal yeah he's getting weird he's getting weird weird with you. I I don't know. He's talking about, you know, he he was uh doing the movie and he memorizes all his lines, right? He comes prepared and right, you know, I mean, like, so why would when was what was the context of him saying this? Well, he had a lot of dialogue, the naming girls, right? And and he could rattle it off with no problem, you know, whereas most actors, you know, and and he he he nailed a few. who Randy Goor told me an awesome story this past weekend about JeanClaude Vanam and Ordinar I wouldn't tell it but it just seems like this one you can get away with and especially Randy Randy was saying that uh JeanClaude would would come into set after partying all night he would forget his line and he would hold his hands up like this like this like to tell them to give him his line. Yeah. Apparently just just still partying. JeanClaude Vadam still going at it hard. You got to love it. You know
showing up to the set just hammered. That's his line. Well, that's what I'm talking about. Well, like Wahlberg all of a sudden he's turned into this professional perfect guy, you know? He's he's evolving. I don't know. And happier this way, maybe. I don't know. I like I like him in things. He did a really really really good job, you know. Yeah. But I think I think he's getting a little bit too too anal. Yeah. Need to get him high. Is that what you're saying? You want to you want to get Marky Mark high? Something. And then he he said like like his kids Well, he'll never take his kids to see this Ted, you know, really cuz it's too graphic because Ted's party mouth. Uh-huh. Right. I don't know. Is he trying to change his image or something? Maybe it's his wife. Maybe his wife's real conservative. Who knows? Maybe he is trying to change his image. Maybe it's just uh he's a businessman. He's making a decision. Oh Tommy Chum just insinuated that Mark Wahberg may in fact be a [ __ ] I can't believe you just went there. We need to get you high again. You got you whatever you smoke before the show wore off. I like uh I like Ted though. The teddy bear. Yeah, you should get a I can't wait for I think the sequel is going to be even a better one cuz you keep saying that. Yeah, I think that's the way to I think the next one's just going to be Well, as long as they keep the same director. Yeah. Yeah. because I think they'll think they'll find more weird things for the teddy bear to do you. Yeah, totally. And uh I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to see. That's good. And I'm looking forward to that. Mila Mila Kunas Kunas. Oh god, so beautiful. You like that, huh? Well, I worked with her for years on 70s show. Oh, yeah. That's right. What was it like doing that show? I got a Mila connection now. Did you enjoy it? I I really enjoyed it. I Did anybody on that show ever try to convert you into Scientology? Uh, not really. No, not really. Uh, no. I mean they they helped me with some medical things. I was hacking and coughing one time. Scientology helped you with No, Danny. Danny, he he got me into the vitamin C drip. Have you ever heard of that? Is Danny Scientologist? Yeah. Yeah. And so
is the Laura Preon, right? She scientologist, too. Yeah. Yeah. Is it interesting how many actors are Scientologist, isn't it? Well, it's it's like acting school, you know, when you think about it. Yeah. It's the ultimate acting school. They teach you how to act in public. Really? Is that what it is? And how to control people. Yeah. That's why they stare at people. Did you ever get involved in it? H a little bit. One time teach and I we had this we had a series of managers when we were coming up trying to make it and uh this one guy we didn't know he was a Scientology until he got us booked in this club or this hall in Hollywood. And so we before we'd go on stage every time would have to go take a dump you. So teach comes back and he goes this is a weird place man. You know, you know what they got written on the walls there? I was thrown into the malstream of the universe and you know, instead of here I sit brokenhearted, right? It's the malstream of the universe and it's all the Scientology bull [ __ ] Wow. While you're taking a dump. Yeah. And so, so we went on stage and you know and and they're all staring at they stare, you know. They stare they just stare at you and they Stepford wives, right? They kind of they kind of I guess they like the show. We worked there a couple of times. Wow. It was fun though. Well, listen, man. You got to let us know uh when the animated movie comes out, so we'll tweet the [ __ ] out of it. And let us know when your podcast comes out. It's going to call a podcast. That's what you're going to call it. Podcast. You know, there was already a podcast. Did you know that? Doesn't matter. Yeah. But it doesn't matter, right? I used to do one. There's always Yeah. I used to do a podcast and just just smoke it. Yeah, that wasn't what it was called. Yeah, the it was called a podcast, but uh the girl I did it with uh was an actress and she's like, "You know what? I need to probably maybe name it name it something else." We called it a podcast. This is ruining my image of being connected with something awesome and I'm not comfortable with that. It may limit me from lying and bullshitting and pretending to be someone I'm not. Makes makes him nervous. Listen, man. You've been a hero to the marijuana movement
and the comedy movement and everything for [ __ ] decades, man. It's an honor to do a podcast with you. When I was a little kid, listening to those albums and at my parents house, I never would have imagined that we'd be able to do this. So, thank you very much for doing this. My pleasure. And did I tell you I got cancer? Yeah, you did. We went over that. I'm That's my new thing to ride on now. It's your new hook. I'm going to ride that hook. I'm going to ride that one. The cancer hook's a good hook. Yeah, it is. It is. People love you. How can I not go see the guys? Yeah, you might might be going soon. You're going to be around. You're going to be around for a while. Keep laughing and eating healthy. Well, apparently if I, you know, get the right finger up my butt, I'll be okay. I think we got that. If you need help, Brian has a magic finger. Show him your magic finger, Brian. Wow. The show's over. Okay. A creepy ending. Thank you to on.com. O Nit makers of Alpha Brain and now uh the new uh whole uh sports fitness uh aspect to it we have in the company with kettle bells and battle ropes and protein powders coming soon and all the questions about all the different supplements. Go to onit.com that's o nit and use the code name roen. You will get 10% off all supplements. Doesn't count for uh weightlifting [ __ ] though cuz it's the the margins on these are very low. It's as cheap as we can possibly sell them to send cannonballs through the [ __ ] mail. Yeah. So, go check that out. And thanks to the Fleshlight. Go to joggan.net, click on the link for the flesh, use the code name Rogan, and save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men. And thanks to Alienware Computers for uh constantly supporting uh mixed martial arts. That's why we're using them for this podcast. Alienware isn't even a sponsor of the podcast. We just want to thank them. Two different guys at this past UFC uh were were sponsored by Alienware. Um a mega med and I forget the other guy's name. I think that guy that's how how you say the guy's name. Khabib. Guy had a crazy longass Russian name and he beat Glacon TBO. Great fighter. But um and thanks to uh Alienware on MMA. Go to Alienware MMA on uh Twitter. Um yeah, Alienware MMA on Twitter, Tommy Chong on Twitter, Redban on Twitter. I'm Joe Rogan and we'll see
you tomorrow with Kevin Pereira and then Wednesday we got Adam Coash from Adam Versus the Man. And we also have a Wednesday Death Squad show in the main room. It's going to be a super show. It's one going to be one of the bigger shows. Uh, and then, uh, who's on it? Who's on it? I can't tell you. It's a secret. You can tell me. It's a secret. Is Joe Rogan going to be on it? Joe Rogan's on. That's right. You dirty [ __ ] You might actually also be at Comic-Con with us, right? Friday. I will Friday. Friday. Uh, tickets are on sale at americandico.com or deskquad.tv. We're going to be there uh Thursday and Friday. And I think Joe's just going to be there Friday. Just on Friday. I'll be there Friday night. Uh, I got to check out this Comic-Con thing and see what the [ __ ] is going down. Yeah. All right, folks. We got a lot of lot of shows this week, a lot of shows next week, and uh a lot of people I'm still trying to get on the hook. Uh thanks for all the support and all the cool vibes you send out there. We appreciate it. We we we love you guys as much as you love us. We're not going anywhere. We'll see you dirty [ __ ] soon. [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] [Music]