Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4m1MOSI5n8
Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day yes sir Michael good to see you my friend you thanks for having me and really appreciate you showing me around wow what a space you you've created man thank you that's so cool keeps going I was excited to show you the picture of my sauna and then you show me you got an archery it's so cool man thank you it's fun we were just singing John Stewart's Praises uh before this started but I'm so happy he's back at The Daily Show and I'm so happy he makes fun of everything and I'm so happy he still makes dick jokes yeah you know it's fun it's like The Daily Show seems like The Daily Show again like that guy's a very unique dude very unique person and one of the most important like pieces to like unify everybody he's reasonable like he gets the whole big picture like let's stop being so [ __ ] ridiculously tribal in the morning meeting he'll come in and we're all sitting there the writers and he just kind of shuts the door behind him and we start talking but it's it's it's like a it's like a conversation with a college professor but he's in charge and it's beautiful all sides this I disagree with that what about this and it's like oh wow it's it's really fun to be a part of and then someone will yell out a dick joke and then that joke will make it to the show too you know it's like smart things and dumb things that's that's beautiful well he's never abandoned being a real comic correct you know which is what got him to the dance in the first place so he's always always has that those instincts and he's the very best at like holding a line and like making something like even more Preposterous just with a facial expression and pointing out like these [ __ ] unbelievably ridiculous in your- face hypocrisies that we see every day from both sides yeah from both sides have you have you ever done standup with him oh yeah we've done stuff together like back in the day yeah God I can't remember the last time I was supposed to do something with him at one of Dave's things that that he was doing outside back in the day but I never W up doing it but I definitely did stand up with him in the clubs back in New York and I knew him way way back in the day was he was on MTV yeah I
remember that and I think I remember one of his books was called naked pictures of famous people which which is great he's a solid guy like he's a solid guy agree with him but I don't always agree with every I don't even agree with me isn't that good I mean isn't isn't that the point of this it's like you want a couple people to be mad sometimes I also think we all as human beings need to be divorced from our ideas okay your ideas are not you you are you and ideas are things that you should consider right ideas are something that you should I mean if it's going to have some sort of a real physical impact on your life and your family and your family's life for people you care about I understand I understand why you get connected to things like that but for the most part most of these I ideas don't affect you a lot of them don't and yet we're so ideologically captured that we fight for these ideas as if it's our very nature you're you're talking about your essence as a human being and it's stupid this reminds me of a time I left my jokebook on a train in New York and in the joke book I have this book is important to me call me if you get this you know and this guy texts me and he says I have this joke book and you know talk about your ideas the joke book is the most unfiltered dumb idea ever oh yeah that's the beauty of it yeah and I I said man I'm sure he's reading it why you know you're going to read it you're going to read a strangers jokebook and I connected with him he was very kind he gave it to me but he kind of looked at me like are you a comedian type thing and I said yeah but it's terrifying when that idea gets attached to you when it was just a fleeting aidea right yeah the the jokebook idea is the best example of that right because most of what you write is [ __ ] which took me forever to figure out I was like God I just write [ __ ] and then every now and then a gem like oo and then you extract the gem but I realized afterwards you it's basically like gold mining most of the time you're not finding gold you're finding garbage and you only get to gold by going through garbage yeah sometimes I'll do a show and it's terrible new joke show but then the next day the thing happens and I think oh that's because I was digging all day yesterday yeah it's the Muse right you have to
show up and and request the muses love I like that yeah I mean do you ever read uh pressfield's war of art no it's really we have a stack of them out there give you a copy of it it's a small book easy read Jay Larson comedian in La recommended that book to me 10 years ago and and I never tackled it it's really good I used to I used to have a stack of them in the studio where I'd give out to guests cuz so many Comics I was like is what you need what's the essence I will read it what's also you know what keeps freaking me out there's a shooting star above my head yeah there is yeah every now and then one will fly above your head uh what's the essence the the the war of art that makes it sound like it's a struggle to create art yeah it's the struggle against resistance which is procrastination which is this thing that we all do before we actually write which is so weird because I love when I'm actually locked in and great ideas are coming it's one of the best feelings in the world world like it's like somehow or another you're pulling these ideas out of nowhere and then it's your job to take this seed and try to go plant it on stage and try to water it and try to over the course of many months it'll become a great bit and they just only come if you sit there they only come if you sit there and what he is saying is that you have to treat it like you're a professional and you have to decide at 8:00 a.m. I will show up and I will be there for 3 hours I will shut my phone off I will lock in this is what I do because am a professional and you literally make a prayer to the Muse you you offer yourself to the Muse you say I'm here to work I'm here to gather ideas I'm here to be creative and to be open and you treat it that way whether or not the Muse is real or not right that's kind of right you can get hung up on that but if you treat it like it's real it works I I love that and I don't do that in early in my comedy care career I would go to the coffee shop at this time and start typing and i' have all these and I remember Tommy at The Comedy Store he would say every time I see you you have new bits and I would go yeah cuz I'm go and now it's crazy life has gotten crazier I don't make time for myself to do that but I need to honor the Muse man I like that I my move is when everyone's asleep in my house okay
cuz I still I get up pretty early for a comic yeah you know I'm up by 8 almost every day Comics are unreal with that right but that means that I can go to bed at 1 and still get 7 hours of sleep so that's what I do so when everybody in my house kind of goes to bed early my kids go to school my wife goes a bit early so when everyone's asleep it's just me and the dog yeah you know and either we're watching YouTube or I'm writing and I that's when I get my best work done you write by hand no I I type you type yeah I feel like uh I can't write fast enough by hand I need what I like about uh typing is that I don't have to look at the keys I know how to type so I can make a letter I can make a word very quickly I can like and I can like Zone in to it but what I really like is a keyboard that I can feel like I need travel in my keys yeah you know and these clickity clickity clicke little MacBook key those are [ __ ] what you want is a keyboard that you don't have to look at because it's got like little divots where you finger sit so I use a ThinkPad and thinkpads have the best keyboards they have travel each one has like a couple of millimeters of travel so it's clickity clickity click so my fingers know exactly where to go and I can just get into the Zone you're zoning right now yeah but that's how I do it like I have like a whole thing like the laptop that I write on it's not connect it has no apps it never goes anywhere it doesn't get email it does I only allow myself to use the Bing search engine to find out if what what the cuz most of the time if I'm writing about something like you know when was this discovered what happened here who figured that out it's normal facts daylight savings is coming so we're about to lose an hour and that means trying to speed up your morning but if you drink ag1 maybe you're fine with it it's that quick and easy to help your body feel great every day starting your day with ag1 can help you shake off the grogginess get back into your Rhythm and even give you the Boost you need to make the most of that extra hour of sunlight maybe even turning you into the morning person you've always wanted to be ag1 rules I drank it for a long time now and seriously it's as easy as I say every month you just take one scoop put it in some cold water shake it up and you're
ready to go honestly tastes pretty good too I'm not complaining it's never too late to create a new healthy habit for 2025 so try ag1 for yourself it's easy to stay consistent with and that's why I've been partnering with ag1 for so long and ag1 is offering new customers a free gift when you subscribe you'll get a welcome kit a bottle of d3k two and five free travel packs in your first box so make sure you check out drink a1.com Joe Rogan that's drink a1.com Joo Rogan that's a trap for me frequently I'll start typing I was working on a bit recently that all of these amazing men these explorers these Achievers the idea was because I found out that Sir Edmund Hillary the Mount Everest's uh first man to clam ever he had like nine kids or something and the idea of the joke was I don't even think he likes climbing mountains I don't even think he enjoys Outdoors it's that he's trying to get away from his family so then I looked up Roger Bannister the guy who who uh broke the four-minute mile he had like seven kids I'm like I don't even think he likes writing he's just trying to run away from his family but I remember writing that bit it's a funny bit there might there might have been an Elon thing there he has a lot of kids going to Mars whatever there there's other stuff um but I would keep getting sidetracked by these Google right i' start typing a bit now I'm on serman Hillary's Wikipedia page now I'm click and I'm gone and that's a trap that's tricky it's procrastination it really is and you can get locked in so the discipline is to is to keep it stay on the bit CA I would play this stupid game with myself was like I'll just go on YouTube real quick and see if I get inspired by anything before I write and then I'm watching two hours of muscle car builds right right watching people turn their Land Cruiser into an off-road vehicle like come on I would do I would do motorcycle handlebars you know I would I would find my motorcycle and then there would be like that's amaz it's 20 different handlebar builds and stuff what kind of motorcycle did you drive I have a uh Triumph bonnaville 2011 it's in a it's in storage in Pennsylvania now I take it out in the summer a lot but in La that's all that was what I used all the time you ride a motorcycle in La I did
forever you know my wife doesn't really you know we have a family now but in PA I I ride it a lot um and there it's deer man they're very you know that's the scary thing there they get very close they're not afraid of cars or Motor Vehicles at this point well there's a time between like September is to like December is where they're [ __ ] because they're horny you know once it starts getting warm out they start getting goofy and then when you get cold like around November that's when it really kicks in like if you're in Pennsylvania Iowa oh my God I visited my friend John in Iowa and I'm driving down the road and every 15 seconds you're slamming on your brakes because something's darting near the road they're all over the place so they're horny and looking yes right they're also getting chased so the Bucks are chasing the females and the females just running out into traffic and the Bucks are falling them bang bang I mean this is like men at night oh yeah yeah much Street where my club is don't drive fast that's why the road is closed in the weekends they don't want people driving down Sixth Street with all these horny idiots I love that they closed that though that's good I didn't know that it is great um but it what scares me is like what happened in New Orleans where they they have these roads where only people walk down and everyone knows it and this psycho decides to kill a bunch of people it's crazy that you have to think that way but I mean there should be some sort of retractable post that they can pull up wasn't there for that one and it didn't it wasn't up it wasn't up yeah in New York York you know it's a big concrete slab I was in France last year uh and they had these huge flower pots with beautiful flowers in it and I said you know this is the New York version is a huge concrete slab that says NYPD on it and this is the French version which was this enormous beautiful flower pie well that's now that's serving a function and also beautiful yeah well the French know how to do things right they do it yeah they they party they know how to party they drink a lot of wine they stay thin somehow or another which is odd like I hope RFK Jr figures that out want to know how the Italians are so th all the time I go to Italy and it
it's also like the standard cliche but it is true you go there you can eat the food and it doesn't affect you the same way it's like what and we don't even think twice about it we come back here and still order pizza and still feel like [ __ ] if I eat a pizza here I feel so bloated I ate a pizza in Italy last summer and I I ate the whole pizza too A whole Margarita Pizza I ate the whole [ __ ] thing and I was like I just would just resign myself to like the thud of it hitting my digestive tract and like feeling like I'm on drama mean just like I resigned myself I'm like I'm eating pizza [ __ ] I'm I'm let's just do it nothing never came right never came ate a whole pizza I was like this the rest of the day I was like this is crazy I'm not even like sludgy bris brisket crushes me oh Terry blacks put you down son I mean I mean I had I was in Houston Steve Burn was at the other club you to get lunch yeah of course we go get brisket I went back toot I slept for like three and a half hours I mean it is very you have sides though I don't I don't remember what I bet you had size you think it was the size that did yeah I think it's mostly um the starches and you know the the carbs it's most like macaroni salad fatty delicious meat so good yeah yeah Terry Black's in town is my favorite oh my they have a beef rib that is the most Preposterous thing you pick the bone up and the rib slide es off the bone I mean and when you slice into it it's just juicy fatty SMY why is the meat falling off the bone such an important so tender it means it's been slow cooked perfectly they have a thing where you want your brisket to fold but not break so they take a slice of brisket and they put it over their hand and if it breaks off you [ __ ] up you made a mushy brisket but you want it where it's just folding you know like a thick cloth there's there's a life metaphor there too brisket you want it right out too you want it like right after they slice it you don't want to wait on brisket you want to eat it right you don't want to eat it before it's well you want to eat it while it's still warm look at that see the F that guy got on his finger that's a that's a perfectly cooked brisket right there dude I learned every time I'm here I learn I remember last time dude we we were talking Italian Billiards I
didn't even realize it was a different Billiards oh they have a bunch of different yeah but I mean uh that's funny I never had any idea about that brisket but you know it was all originally Germans that they would do the brisket stuff Germans who came over through Texas like Fredericksburg is one of the hubs of it it's all a bunch of Germans who came over here and they made smok sausages and so they came over here and the brisket became a thing because brisket was not a choice cut it was a a thing that they would throw away like you wanted steaks you wanted a T-bone you want so they would take the brisket and they just figured out like if you just slowly cook it you render it down and break down all the toughness of it and at the end you have this delicious tender smoked Perfection that puts me to sleep they know how to do it here man they they make the best [ __ ] brisket on earth right here uh Terry blacks Franklin's La Barbecue there's like a bunch of spots in town yeah was it QB barbecues that's the Egyptian joint that I went to with um with uh Action Bronson that place was oh man having a meal with him would be super fun KB kg kg kg barbecue so this gentleman came from Egypt and uh he was uh like a finance guy I think in Egypt just working a regular job came over here fell in love with brisket decided to just open up his own barbecue shop and so this guy makes these incredible recipes with like Egyptian and and Middle Eastern spices Jes but with Texas barbecue oh my God it was so good it was so good and he's blowing up now it's just super nice guy too yeah like I love when someone does that it's like [ __ ] this job I'm I'm I'm doing I'm want you know what I want to do I I want to feed people I want to make brisket awesome brisket I want to make a food truck and this guy it becomes so popular so quickly that this guy has like a real business now and he's got a restaurant he's opening up a second one I believe that was my favorite part of living in Los Angeles it's easy to make fun of La for good reason but for the most part A lot of people were betting on themselves and a talent they had yeah not everyone's but I do love that I always appreciated that yeah I like living in a place where
people are definitely going for something and Taking Chances yeah the problem with LA is it also becomes attached with uh what is the engine that gets you to where you want to go and sometimes that engine is like pure narcissism yeah or fame if that's the goal most of the time it's Fame which fuels the narcissism but um I think a more interesting question is how do we find the thing that we're meant to do that Egyptian Finance man found that brisket is his calling that's fascinating in his 30s in his 30s with a career right right with a career making money having healthare still decided to give Liv in Egypt by the way it's not even close to Austin Texas and he comes here not he doesn't just decide to make barbecue he decides to make barbecue in the home of barbecue the place yeah he's like [ __ ] it if you want to learn Jiu-Jitsu go to Brazil yeah he just he went right to the heart of it all I remember I was coaching tennis at University of Michigan I was making 31,000 a year and I go I think I can make this in comedy if I'm going to get paid like [ __ ] let me at least do what I want so of course the first year I left first year I did comedy I made whatever $6,000 or whatever but I think often how much harder that would have been if I was making 100 Grand right you know it's it's because I was poor let's be poor and pick the thing I want to be doing oh 100% but that's the thing about youth youth is filled with if you're 47 years old and you decide that you need to change careers you're going to be a folk singer and you have a family like what are you talking about you have a Volvo you have a [ __ ] mortgage you idiot like you have to go to work you have to go to work if you're going to make folk songs you're going to make them on the two hours you have for yourself on the weekend when everybody else is out of the house you don't have any time for that what is it true that Rodney Dangerfield found comedy so late like that well Rody did comedy and then quit but kept writing and was selling aluminum siding right I remember that story remade it when he was like 46 that's [ __ ] awesome story yeah how about Shimmel Shimmel didn't even start he was 36 which I thought was crazy I remember when I heard cuz I was a giant shimel fan okay and then when I had
heard that he started when he was 36 I was like what I didn't think you could do that I thought you had to start when you were like 21 yeah or you had no chance I remember starting at 27 and wondering if it was too late right is that crazy EXA or maybe it was 25 I forget started at 27 because when I was 21 I was such a [ __ ] I just had no opinions on anything so all my jokes were basically about sex it like sex and relationships where were you at age 21 Boston Boston okay you that's right you were in I was going to say cuz you were at least in a good comedy scene you could see good comedy great comedy scene yeah you talked about that it was the best comedy scene it was the best comedy scene because it was a comedy scene that had worldclass comedians that the rest of the country didn't know about right so was cheat code it was like you're in a gym and you're sparring with world class Fighters like World Championship caliber Fighters that the rest of the world hasn't seen yet right and that emerges sometimes in fight gyms like you have a bunch of like Elite Fighters and then all of a sudden there's three world champions in this gym like two years later that's what it was like in Boston because there was these guys that were the Steve Sweeny and the Don Gavins who are as good as anybody that's ever done comedy and no one knew who they were outside of Boston and you get to see them every night just murdering were was their drive to get out no it was to make money stay there uh do Coke and play golf yeah those guys partan they probably figur I mean I remember the documentary about Boston comedy where they said they would pay comics and Coke they were it was a totally different kind of comedian they were these big football player looking men who were Rowdy who partied all the time they were all Heavy drinkers they all played golf they were all animals and they would go on St and obliterate when I say obliterate I mean these guys would go on stage with a drink in their hand and they had a [ __ ] act that was his hammered as a samurai sword it was polished and they would just Fu from the paws they would take to the eyebrow raise all everything and a lot of it was like local references like local Boston stuff and these they would bury these out of town
comedians I saw bury Billy Crystal one night bury him bury death death Satan was was nipping at his heels and dragging him down into The Nether world it was horrible he was in Hell uh I feel like when I started comedy drinking was still big it was big now I meet all the young comics and everybody's sober or they're thinking more about all the different facets but when I started there wasn't YouTube yet right Comics talk [ __ ] in the Green Room a lot terrible y uh I went and did yuck yucks in Vancouver recently in The Green Room there's a sign up that says we don't harass people in The Green Room and I'm like this is different this is different you know well Canada's just on another level with their wokeness can's on another level but um come back to us Canada I I remember come back driving down the road in Vancouver and there's all these people just lining up and I go what's going on and said oh well they're lining up for the bus that's about to come and I'm like now that's that is that's Canadian I mean like they're so polite they're waiting they know where the bus will be and they're lining up that is not how it work in Brooklyn and then before they get on the bus they give their land acknowledgement before they step on the bus uh do you think that comedy with the Polish the local I mean it feels like comedy's taking a different turn now now it's if a bid is kind of working we post it it's up it's not polished and I miss some of that some of that I miss some of that there's some of that but there's still guys you know like Louie who don't do that and atel doesn't do that it's I get for young guys coming up it's a very good way to develop an audience like there's guys that have a clip the clip goes viral on Tik Tok all of a sudden they're selling out shows everywhere like a guy like Ralph Barbosa it's funny guy gets a funny bit it gets put up bam all of a sudden he's headlining all over the country and it happened to him like that he was opening for me in Dallas before any of that and you know you always watch the opener and normally I watch the opener like this like God this is just is this is this what I have to go up after why didn't I bring my own guy you know whatever and I'm sitting in the green room and I'm going oh that's a good bit oh that's a fun oh crowd's
going I'm going this this guy's got it yeah and then six months later I was like watching his special right or it wasn't maybe a year later but yeah I mean that's that that's a great example he's he's funny dude yeah yeah it's a great example what can be done with social media today you know and then there's these guys there's a lot of bad ones too like from Kill Tony where they do one minute and a lot of these one minute Clips get put into reals and then these guys are getting huge responses for this and now they're doing the killers of kill Tony where they're selling out these huge places so it's it's amazing what can be done but but they don't have an act they don't some of them do like Ari Matty's 12 years in you know he was doing standup in Australia I actually work with him in Australia in like 26 I think okay somewhere around then 2015 somewhere around then um so AR has been at it for a long time so he's really good he's a really solid comic so he's like headlining now because of this and like right but there's guys that are in it four or five years and they don't really have an act yet but they have a couple of good jokes but they'll figure it out they'll figure it out they'll figure it out but you don't want to figure all of it out on video in front of the whole world that's what it is now I'm so thankful that as soon as I could I posted my first set on the internet but that that was seven years in it didn't even you couldn't even do it right right have done it too soon I mean it still was too soon but but it's okay you know look you go back and watch my first episodes of this podcast they were [ __ ] terrible right I encourage everybody go back and watch them they're dog [ __ ] nobody would watch where does one watch the first I bet they're on YouTube they're on everywhere they're somewhere it's everywhere but like when we first started doing it I mean there was no production value it suck I was boring you know and then you figure out how to do it it's like standup it's everything else go back and watch someone's first amateur fight they they look terrible make mistakes it is very beautiful to watch um people get better at stuff yeah there's a a female tennis player right now named uh andreeva I forget how to
pronounce her first name but I just watched her at Indian Wales and I saw her four years ago at the French Open everyone was saying watching want to watch andreeva and I'm like this is a child that doesn't know how to play the sport why are we talking about her I watched your last week an absolute nightmare of a beast you know you know hitting the ball the movement her shape and it was like oh every day she got better for for and to see that was nuts and I always go back and watch old oh my God Novak jovic's first Grand Slam when he's got like the worst haircut in the baggy shirt and the backhand was looking different now just it's just amazing to see how these athletes evolve and I'm sure it's the same for Fighters and you mentioned it was I love seeing that tennis is like all things right it's you when you really do it then you can truly appreciate people who are great yes like there's there's so many things that are like like in martial arts it's a big like especially when things go to the ground a lot of times people don't understand how difficult a specific maneuver is like how he did that how he baited him with and then you have to like well there's certain things I watch I'm like oh my God does everybody appreciate this that was insane that language it's it's a language and if you don't speak the I mean when right I don't speak MMA language but that's where good commentators come in you oh they're excited for a reason yeah that that was something that we don't see very often and that helps me I assume that's how it works for tennis people that aren't or for non-tennis people when they watching tennis cuz oh I'm sure but I think only a person like you who is a professional could appreciate the technique and involved and like the changing of jovic's backing all that I mean I I pause it I make my wife come into the living room and I say watch this and she'll watch and she'll go that that was good I go are you even seeing what he did he did a short slice to pull him in and then he went and it's like but it's a language that I speak and this is life man picking these little things we have that we get passionate about is just awesome and as I've gotten older I've I used to shy away from tennis a little bit it's an Elite Sport it's got its own history and now I'm
just like I [ __ ] love it I love that I'm good at it I love that I know it it's fun the pushed you away from tennis no no the Ws did sounds like it was a little too Elite it was a little too uh Country Club little too segregated definitely is is those things um no I think what happen it doesn't have to be it doesn't have to be and that's why Serena Serena and Venus were such a a fun uh [ __ ] up to the sport do you know the Freeway Ricky Ross story no Freeway Ricky Ross was a guy who you know Rick Ross the rapper yes he named himself after a famous cocaine dealer in in Los Angeles called Freeway Ricky Ross okay Freeway Ricky Ross was selling cocaine unbeknown to him for the CIA to fund the contas versus the San okay yeah so this is the Cocaine Cowboy type stuff isn't it type stuff but this was about Oliver North this was all about funneling money into the the the war um he was a tennis player like an elite tennis player couldn't even read couldn't read yes and was uh this really good tennis player who uh that was like What He his hope for a scholarship gets involved starts selling cocaine starts selling a lot of cocaine doesn't know how he's so successful because he's working with the CIA CIA is helping him Goes to Jail learns how to read when he's in jail becomes a lawyer in jail gets himself off because they tried him on three strikes but they did it for one incident so they did it incorrectly and so he gets out of jail so incarceration educated him to the point where he got himself out but is origins or as a tennis player as a tennis player he's a tennis player like a really good tennis player you know Menendez brothers excellent tennis players one of them played at UCLA maybe not the best example one guy I'm talking about a guy from South Central LA who can't read true uh just to say it's not necessarily an sport it doesn't have to be it's just a sport I agree and all you need is a court you mean it seems pretty cheap you need a flat surface a tennis racket and a ball like let's go the kids that were beating me when I was a pro played on a dirt court with a rope tied between two sticks these these South American and Russian player is it was not a money sport it was not a sport of money it was a sport of movement comp competition and
because there's no clock you can have as much time as you want to figure out and beat down your opponent so that gets a certain type of athlete you know I I think it was Jimmy Connor who said I didn't lose I just I just ran out of time in that match I would have I would have figured it out but unfortunately he beat me um yeah what happened with me I was I was was trying to be a stand-up comic that I was trying to so badly that I was trying to remove the athletic stigma even now you sometimes say tennis and people kind of back up but as I got better at comedy and more confident in my abilities I said why am I shying away from the sport that I love and that is such a foundational part of me isn't that weird that you felt like you had to move away from Athletics in order to fit in in comedy that's probably a more succinct way to say it and the new book that's out right now lucky loser is all about how I'm now embracing this tennis because it gave me all the skills to actually be good in comedy of course yeah yeah discipline realizing like the tennis player that you were talking about that if you do put in the work over time the results will pay off and you'll see it and you're alone yeah figure that [ __ ] out by yourself you're alone and you're going to have no teammates success and failure when I was when I was 8 years old I lost in the finals of the an arbor Jr open and I realized I was going to lose and I started crying on the court and my older brother runs on the court and holds me like a child I'm I'm crying there's a picture of that in the book now as a parent I'm going who the [ __ ] took that picture right I'm just a kid crying and my brother's holding me is my parents taking that picture they did it for the gr it for the gr but man as a comic holy [ __ ] we've all felt like that oh man it's so personal when you when you fail as a comic so well it's important to learn how to lose at things and everything if you marry your high school sweetheart you guys never broke up and that's you probably missed out me congratulations on achieving the most difficult thing humanly possible that everybody admires right when you meet a couple and like uh I have two friends of M that have actually been dating since they were like 16 years old and now
they're married with kids in their 40s congratulations but I think there's some value in getting your ass kicked I think there's some value in a girl saying no I don't like you like no you don't like me you know I think it's good getting dumped is good I think all that's valuable I think you have to learn and I don't think you learn by winning all the time and I don't think you learn if something's easy which is why really handsome and really beautiful people are often ridiculous in the way they behave true because they have five Aces and you know and they didn't earn them they were just born with five Aces so how do you instill grit toughness in a generation as a parent I see my 5-year-old struggling I often times pop in let me get that for you you know she's trying to little things trying to do the buttons on her shirt that's we we got to you know and I do it for her and I think I shouldn't do it for her she should be struggling to do this but this is a big issue right now right the younger generation you hear that word grit how do we instill that well Sports is a great way to do it it doesn't work with everybody cuz some people play sports and they come out even CER you yeah they come out more aggressive or more competitive or more psychotic in their Pursuits and it just like alienates everything else in their life or it creates trauma for them not real you know trauma but or real trauma [ __ ] head trauma if you're playing football yeah yeah there's I think difficult things are important for kids it doesn't necessarily have to be that it could be art it could be music it could be something but I think there's something when you put your attention to something and realize you can get better at this thing and you find yourself in that thing and you find your potential in that thing that you focus on it doesn't have to it's not necessarily that it has to Define you because often times it does unfortunately when people are really good at a thing it becomes the whole essence of who they are as a person but it's a valuable tool for elevating your human potential and it's also a way that you can quantify effort versus results and you can do that in sports and games and in think chess and and art and things that are difficult like you can say like I am so much
better at playing guitar now because I've been playing three hours a day for six months and look at what I can do now so I know that there's a thing and it teaches you that if there's a thing that you really love and you focus on it that thing if someone does it for a living why can't you yeah why can't you yeah why do I have to be in this [ __ ] [ __ ] office in this cubicle with these stupid papers that I don't give a [ __ ] about that I have to fill out for this company that I don't give a [ __ ] about this episode is brought to you by LifeLock tax season is already stressful you shouldn't have to worry about identity theft on top of everything else and trust me it's a big worry especially since during tax season your sensitive info does a lot of traveling to places you can't control it goes through payroll your accountant or your tax consultant and countless other data centers on its way to the IRS any of them can expose you to identity theft because they all have the info on your W2 just the ticket for criminals to steal your identity it's no wonder last year the IRS reported tax fraud due du to identity theft went up 20% you need LifeLock they monitor millions of data points per second and alert you to threats you could miss if your identity is stolen LIF loocks us-based restoration specialist will fix it back by the million dooll protection package and restoration is guaranteed or your money back don't let identity thieves take you for a ride get LifeLock protection for tax season and Beyond join now and save up to 40% your first year call 1 800 LifeLock and use the promo code Joe Rogan or go to lifelock.com Joo Rogan for 40% off terms apply I I agree with you some things we will improve upon faster based on our natural abilities I loved the way DJs used to seamlessly transfer one song to the other beat matching whatever that was called I I got two asked for two turntables for Christmas I I obsessed over it I [ __ ] sucked at it dude I can't I couldn't do it I I mean I I I tried so hard and then I'm thinking I pick up this tennis racket and it all kind of clicks very quickly well you have a good frame for tennis first of all thank you so you're you're tall and long which really helps
you could reach stuff that other people can't reach you think I you don't think I don't have a good frame for DJing like you have like a foot more look how much wider your AR my arms are pretty long and yours are like a foot more dude if Pete sess did this the greatest server oh yeah I mean his I mean he don't they say that this is the same height I think so I think they say that this is your height also it's not really I mean that's your wings spare well I always heard that from here to here is your foot I saw that a pretty woman from here to here is your foot but I mean Pete Pete had like extra length and people go how did he get the pop on the serve it's like those torque like Tommy Hearns with his punches Tommy Hearns was so long and tall like Deontay Wilder is another example those Long Tall guys when you have this torque like you ever see Deontay Wilder no he's arguably the greatest one punch knockout artist in the history of the heavyweight division at one point in time he was like what is deon's record I think it's like 40 and he's had a few losses recently but at one point in time he had like 39 Knockouts out of 40 fights Jesus which is insane and these are professional fighters he's knocking not he he's under siiz for the heavyweight division when he fought Tyson Fury Tyson Fury was like 260 he was 209 209 you made it to 40 and0 40 and0 and 39 of those 40 were knockout knock look at everybody knockout TKO TKO KO he knocked out every body he not get the Lewis Ortiz fight show him the Lewis Ortiz fight forgive forgive this extremely ignorant question when you say knockout that means like flat the guy's done that's that's not like the ref calls it that's TKO is the ref calls it knockout is like it's over like you got Flatline and these are guys that know how to take hits Elite guys well this guy Lis Ortiz was on the Cuban Olympic team he's a [ __ ] Elite fighter and he was really durable and de so Deontay is see he's the one with his back to us he's long and Tall but not giant he's not a big guy in comparon to a lot of these guys but he he catches him with a right hand and flattens him I think this is the first time they fought Jamie oh you went the second one yeah the second one is the KO with one punch so he he beat him up in the first fight
too but or Ortiz is an elite boxer and Deontay is not the best boxer right he's just a hitter and he's just he's just waiting waiting wait blam and he hits guys and they like what the [ __ ] here it is watch this wow that yeah it just collapses it didn't even seem like it was that hard of a hit and this is an elite heavyweight show it again show it again because it's so crazy it's just one punch it's just black see Wilder just Waits Waits Waits it's all waiting it's not boxing yeah it's right he's just waiting waiting for his chance orz the ring overhand now Wilder needs to get back in the as king KES forward unbelievable well you got that kind of power that is so crazy that's crazy that's hard for us to it's hard for me to even wrap my head around see if they show it in the replay because he hits him on the forehead which is so crazy just before that watch this just before it Jamie okay here it is watch this he hits him on the forehead man not punching wa he's just waiting he's just waiting just pawing at him with his left hand and bang oh my God look at that bro but it's all that torque and length and leverage and just god-given power like nobody has jeez and the [ __ ] slow motion so crazy the slow motion camera that is so crazy and look at the torque look how the wide shoulders and the timing and the speed and watch just straightens out right on his [ __ ] Noggin boom you know in these and the follow through with the shoulder oh my goodness in these sports like mixed martial arts 2 these Sports aren't for me because one punch it's done oh yeah meaning meaning I like watching that meaning I wouldn't have been a good uh uh athlete in that sport why think that well like in tenis what I love is if you're just bombing Aces after the first set Clean Slate we start all over again and in boxing you make one mistake like that and it's done well against that guy that's very unusual most guys can't do that they can't do that most guys can hit you pretty hard you would take a hard hit but you could recover that's crazy that's crazy that's that Deontay is like in a world of his own and he's
also in a world of his own again because he's not big like there's Daniel Duo who is the uh he's I forget which division he's a champion of right now but he's a a giant heavyweight who knocks everybody out but he's 255 260 built like a tank Deontay is literally 40 plus pounds lighter than that and just one punch black I liked how we watched a lot of that and he hadn't even thrown a punch he's not wasting he's a hitter he there he's there to kill you he's not going to outbox you and be slick in fact his movement is sometimes awkward he's criticized for having bad foot where his legs look like sticks he the skinniest legs you've ever seen in your life like it's crazy like you look at his legs like how how but the power this guy generates is out of this world so his software during a fight is just constantly trying to find the open for one of these huge punches that's that's the whole time he's doing he's not boxing you yeah I mean he's boxing kind of but he's really looking for the big one and you know if that big one's lands it's nighty night for everybody that's the only body who's able to survive it is Tyson Fury because he's a [ __ ] animal and he from the dead in the 12th round of their fight where it looked like Deontay had knocked him out C Deontay even went like that at the end of it he hit him with a right hand and then a left hook as he was going down and he went flat out on his back and Tyson Fury Rose like the Undertaker and got right back and won the rest of the round but that's just cu's he's a that's another very very rare human being Tyson Fury just an animal Jesus just an animal one of the greatest boxers of all time and one of the greatest heavyweights without a doubt of all time when you get hit like that there's got to be an enormous physical pain duh but then there also is like don't you get scared then after a big hit well you get super confused you get confused cuz I would get scared you know you got to kind of shake off the cobwebs your ears are ringing your legs don't work right anymore when you've get knocked down I only got tko'ed once in a kickboxing fight and ironically it didn't hurt the punch that hit me just twisted my jaw he hit me with a left hook and my legs just gave out like weep like gone it's the craziest feeling it's
like it's it's not like you got hurt it's like your legs just shut off right like he he clipped me with a left hook that I didn't see in an exchange and when you get hit on the jaw something happens in the jaw and I don't know what it is with the nerves behind your neck but it just shuts everything off right and you're conscious which is weird like so it was completely conscious but my leg just like disconnected and went down but they they reconnected right away and I got up and I was like oh no I'm in trouble they weren't working good like everything wasn't working good and then I got dropped again he hit me with an uppercut and dropped me and then the referee stopped the fight but uh totally conscious the whole time but the feeling that you get when you get hit real hard is real weird it's like nothing works right anymore and you got to get on your bike and try to move around and get everything working again and it might take 30 seconds and that 30 seconds when he's also swarming trained to kill you now in the UFC it's way more accurate because when you get knocked down they climb on top of you and beat your [ __ ] brains stranged to the whole thing up you're ising a chance to get more damage that's true because they can recover but not all the way you know sometimes sometimes a guy gets rocked early in a fight and you can tell for the whole rest of the fight they're still [ __ ] up and they're they're very defensive so it's safer in your opinion the way UFC does it where if you start wobbling I'm immediately on you trying to kill you and then it's like that as opposed to boxing where they would get you up and you maybe I don't think either one is safe I think it's an unsafe sport it's as safe as we can make it we have laws when you can hit someone you can't hit them in the back of the head there's but it's not safe it's a very dangerous very scary sport yeah but I think realistically when someone gets hurt and someone finishes them off on the ground that's probably less damage than they would have taken if you gave them a standing a count dust their gloves off made them move forward and let them go back again and get really Molly walloped you know cuz a lot of times those were in the real bad Kos come from is when a guy's hurt and then he stands up and the
only thing I can even closely compare this to is being in a car accident yeah and I let me show you one of the greatest examples of that Alex Pereira who was a two division Glory world champion pull up Alex Pereira Ko's Jason winess so he he's like the most destructive kickboxer in the history of the sport okay and he went over to the UFC became a two division UFC champion just lost his title last weekend in a really close fight great fight but he hits this guy with a head kick and drops him and you can tell this guy's [ __ ] but they give him the standing because he's in kickboxing not in MMA they give him the standing a count dust his gloves off you okay come forward and then he gets hit with a flying knee on the chin and just sent into the shadow realm right and it didn't didn't need to happen this way and this is what happens when you take a guy who's like really rocked and kind of [ __ ] so watch this so he catches him with a head kick so he's by the way Jason wellis had beaten him twice before so he drops him with the left okay is this the first fight yeah I don't know or is this the the head kick I don't know the full fight I don't know if this is the one I think this is the one when they went back and forth I don't think this is the one where he koos them I think this is the one where he drops them 65 Maybe I guess that's later yeah try to find the later one this is it this is the one cuz I can tell by his haircut so um Pereira at this time was the champion and he was getting revenge on willness who had beaten him before and stopped him with low kicks in one of their fights so he head kicks him boom so right now he's [ __ ] and MMA he would follow up beat him a couple times that'll be but willness is like they're giving him a chance to clear his head your coach to like get up immediately show that you're okay right yeah and he's like watch this boom Oh my God that's the kind of [ __ ] that happens when you're really already [ __ ] so he can hit you with this flying scissor knee right on the chin the [ __ ] is that dude and he's the most ferocious knockout artist literally in the history of the sport look at this on the and that's forget that's like legal and everything oh yeah it's encouraged it's not just legal that's celebrated that's one of the greatest
techniques in the history of the sport and Alex Pereira that's how he won his uh first year UFC fight he won with that want to see another nasty one pull up uh Pereira koos mtis you want to see another nasty one this is so this is pereira's first entrance into the UFC and uh I'm a giant fan of kickboxing so I watch Muay Tha I watch Dutch kickboxing I watch Glory I watch everything I can about kickboxing and I knew this guy was really special so I was completely hyping him up in the in this first UFC fight I'm like just watch and he he came through in flying colors and he came through with that flying knee and it's it's so nuts the amount of power this guy can generate and with punches and with kicks but with a flying knee you have so much torque you're literally throwing your body weight up into the air so how do you avoid a flying knee just step out of the way it's in the second round Jamie so it's right after this like right at the beginning of the second round yeah so they start the second round and he's like [ __ ] this dude I'm just gonna catch him coming in and Flatline them this is watch this I mean this is nutty can isolate that but it's a nasty well on his left cheek honestly that's what I was speaking to with all the clinch oh my [Applause] God that is so fast he's such a [ __ ] animal he's such a monster dude how would even how can't block that you just try to get out the way you get the [ __ ] out of the way of that you don't want to block that because if you're well you you certainly should block it rather than take it on the chin but once he's in the air like that if that catches your arms it could break your forearm I mean the amount of power that's involved in that particular technique is [ __ ] extraordinary because it's a natural move movement of your hips it's a thing that you do your whole life running and jumping you're doing so you can explode very quickly and you're hitting someone with your knee which is the most immobile part like if you want to hit someone with a joint it's elbows and knees but the knee is preferable but aren't you putting yourself in a vulnerable position to throw a flying knee yeah you got to wait till a guy's
[ __ ] and that's what he does he waits till you're [ __ ] because if because you are jumping in the air exposing yourself so what I would do is I would I would move out of the way Joe and then I would pop them I would pop them but some guys are just really good like Jon Jones when he won the light heavyweight title one of the craziest things that did he was 22 years old and he's fighting Mauricio Shogun haa who is a legend he was a light heavyweight champion he was a legend of this organization called pride in Japan where they sold out like 990,000 seed Arenas I mean he's a like a real legend of the sport and John opens with a flying knee opens first move flying knee catches him and then just beats the [ __ ] out of him and wins the title and becomes the youngest ever UFC champion that's a great watch this this is the beginning of the fight now Shogun is like I said he's a [ __ ] Legend and a knockout artist and John starts right away boom flying knee to open up the fight and just put on a clinic put on a clinic and won the title at 22 years of age that's a ballsy move to start with that ballsy [ __ ] yeah that's a big swing right out of the gate yeah flying KNE crazy move but some guys can pull it off and it helps being tall like Alex is very tall John's tall so it's it's hard to hit their chin but you know it doesn't always work work like sometimes guys do it and they get knocked out cold how does your [ __ ] kneecap not break too it doesn't no your kneecap versus chin I'll take kneecap all day long especially when your knees bent and you're hitting them with this part right here you can hit that pretty hard on things you'd be surprised I have so much respect for these athletes and I'm also I can't be far enough away from it just want see it go wrong I want to show you the flying knee go wrong pull up um uh Fedor ailon enko versus um oh Andre olowski I'm sorry you want to see a flying ni Andre rovski Fedor milliano so this is Andre olowski was actually winning this fight and he actually was kind of tuning Fedor up and he was hitting him with some big shots and he got a little crazy and he leapt in with a flying knee and got Flat Line well that's what I'm that's this is what you would do that's what I was thinking
this is what I would do no but I was thinking this is a vulnerable position you don't want to be in the air true so he's fighting the guy um uh with the bald head that's Fedor Milano who's a legend so watch Arlovski he catches him with the kick he's feeling cocky tries to fly KN boom Oh [ __ ] flatlined but he's fighting and Fedor that's literally the greatest heavyweight of all time if not one of the greatest like there's the argument that he's the greatest so he catches him on the chin as he's leaping in like perfect punch so the guy with the beard thought he thought he was vulnerable he was beating his ass a little bit and he made a mistake and he tried to come in cocky with a flying knee and he got clipped on the jaw my God and as soon as he gets hit you just see the his flying knee KNE just dropped also you got to think where Fedor threw that punch cuz Fedor knew he was going in the air this is like the reads this guy's able to get he sees Arlovski make a motion like Bend at the knees like he's going to launch himself so if you look at where he punches him he punches him so high up in the air so he knew where his head was going to be look at that look how high he see it he's ducked down and or's way up in the air and he catches him perfectly on the chin yeah like that is just an understanding of position where a guy's going to be and where what the timing of your punches this this is reminding me of the way Roger Federer would notice his opponent would quarter of an inch open up his grip on the run and Roger would know forehand slice is coming I'll sneak in and pop and now it's much different sport obviously really but it's reading just the grip yeah dude if you just typically he does it like this and this time he's doing it tin boom they go W what's what's so different about tennis obviously is then you just volleyball for winner it's 15 love you don't get head kicked you don't get [ __ ] knocked out I mean this is why this this [ __ ] fascinates me but the consequences are so great that people look at it as a barbaric horrific thing which is valid I understand why pacifists and people are very peaceful don't want to have anything to do with violence yeah I get it yeah but what it is to me is the ultimate problem solving yeah it's it's problem solving you have a person in
front of you that is do doing all of these things to try to throw you off they're fainting you they're moving they're switching stances they're shooting in for takedowns that they don't want so they can catch you with a punch on the way in there's so many variables you have to think about so it's just like highlevel problem solving with dire physical consequences yeah I love sport because it it teaches life lessons with very low stakes but in this these Sports there's high stakes and that's very interesting for me because I much rather my kid play soccer or tennis learn some important lessons with low stakes but this type of thing that is serious Stakes man it is serious Stakes I think kids especially boys should all learn how to fight so that they don't ever fight that's what I think I as a 45-year-old grown man I wish I would have learned how to fight yeah and I think it's probably not too late it's not too late I know you got a gym over here yeah I was telling you you could get into Jiu-Jitsu you'd be great at it you have long limbs You're athletic that's that's what I li aree jiujitsu because there's certain things that you'll be able to catch that other people can't catch with shorter limbs like a Dar choke so a Dar choke is so say if you come to grab me and you have your head here and your arm wraps around me like this I can shove my arm under like this go off the side of your neck and clamp it like this and now I've got you in a wicked choke it's called the DAR choke Dar you will be way better at that than me because you have an extra 6 in that you could seal this thing up okay so you your hand will go further than mine you'll be able to grab it deeper I'm ring down Dar joke yeah and what I'll do tonight on my YouTube is I'll watch some Dar jokes yes and I and then you do it the other way it's an anaconda so you either go armpit this way it's a Dar or you go head this way armpit that way it's an anaconda and with the Anaconda you roll like an anaconda and you squeeze them deeper into the choke and I just squeeze until the refere it's and your long legs you could wrap around their body to secure them in place you could grab a hold of one of their legs so they can't turn away from you you turn into them and [ __ ] keep the squeeze on dude you'd
be Wicked at it and in a competition that happens until the ref calls it or the person Taps out most of the time most of the time you tap out because you know it's over you know it's over you if you're a psycho you go to sleep and there are a lot of psychos just let people choke them unconscious that happens all the time guys just say [ __ ] it I'm going to get choked UNC cons and they just go out and then the refere referee stops you hopefully hopefully but sometimes the referees miss it and sometimes someone's out for like seconds while someone's still [ __ ] squeezing the [ __ ] out of their neck and then the referee finally figures it out is like like in the shadow realm I do absolutely love that in the in these Sports there's this extreme violence um high stakes but then also a simple tap yes is a mutual agreement 100% that's [ __ ] awesome and if you don't stop when someone Taps you will get kicked out of the sport there's a guy named hamar Paul Harris who is one of the scariest [ __ ] to ever fight because he was a leg lock specialist okay and what he would do is rip your knees apart and he wouldn't he wouldn't let go and you tapped and he got kicked out of the UFC for it cuz he did it to so many people he was known for not letting go right and he would these guys would be screaming in agony and slapping and tapping and he would be still twisting he was built like a human Pitbull he was like 5 185 lb of solid muscle and it would just dive on your legs and roll into these positions and rip your knees apart like with a heel hook a heel hook is so terrible because your knee has a lot of strength going forward and backwards but has almost none going side to side so they isolate the top of it with their legs they wrap the heel into the crook of their elbow and then they wrench that [ __ ] apart it's literally twisting your knee apart and it's terrifying oh my God and he cripples people like you [ __ ] he'll tear your ACL your MCL your miniscus you're going to go a whole year before you can fight again you're going to have to get surgery to reconstruct your knee and then your knee's never going to be the same because your meniscus is shot now and maybe some of your cartilage so this is him I I don't know I don't know oh I don't know this is this is a fight
that he had against David Avalon and this is [ __ ] because they stopped the motion and they put him back into the same position and when they put him back into the same position he he doesn't let go so he he holds on to the heel hook and just wrenches the [ __ ] [ __ ] out like this right here ah he let go there he let go there because I think they were like chastising him to make sure like look at that look at what he does I I don't want to look real and look at the build on this guy Paul Harris was a [ __ ] specimen and he's trying to turn the knees sideways he's ripping this [ __ ] apart right here man he's pulling it backwards it's backwards and at a slight angle I mean this is horrific and look at the build on poar imagine the [ __ ] Force the size of this guy's legs the size of his torso and perfect technique and he's just ripping his [ __ ] knee apart that's a nasty knee bar right there that's so horrible to watch but in in MMA he wound up getting kicked out of the UFC because uh I think it was Mike Pierce see if you can find the Mike Pierce fight it might not have been Pierce at of fight love I love that the tap generally speaking it does of in this the Mike Pierce one he's screaming and tapping and still ripping it apart I mean my one of my favorite parts of tennis is how they'll battle for five and a half hours and then they calmly walk so here it is look he's tapping he's watch so he gets it he's tearing he's tapping and he won't let go he's still when the referee's on him he's still yanked on it so those ex that extra second will just rip your [ __ ] apart so he Taps immediately see none of this has to happen right he was tapping immediately I feel like the ref was on that I know but it's like Po haris doesn't give a [ __ ] he's out for blood I mean he had like a crazy childhood he grew up on a farm with like no food like it's really like he's he's feral he's feral and he's super technical which would serve you I'm sure oh yeah well until you get kicked out of the sport you know un God it's it's incredibly um uh violent but also systematic in it's understanding of the human body oh yeah we're going to know that the knee doesn't go this way no it's really really Tech all sports are like this
actually yeah I think all sports at the highest levels they have to be like that because you only get so far with genetics and so far with natural speed and endurance there's certain aspects of it that require a careful considered study and wouldn't you if you know your opponent is a guy that likes to do the the the the wouldn't you then in your training work on yes defending that and also like making sure your knee can withstand more of that than normal you know you're not going to be able do that there's only so much there special knee knee pill you can take you got to tap when you get into those positions and then you got to make sure that you don't get into those positions which is the most important thing the tapping must be so humbling as a fighter because you've trained so hard you want to win so badly and yet you have to do this thing you have to press the eject button well hopefully you will tap because guys haven't tapped and they've gotten their arms broken in half and I've seen quite a few of those including Legends like Frank me one time he too much pride you mean to tap yeah yeah cuz he fought uh Antonio noera who was uh another Legend who was former heavyweight champion of Pride and he caught him in a camur and snapped his upper arm and we watched his arm crack and then go limp and you could see like where it was cracked up here like oh it was horrific that's terrible so hard to watch when you're commentating um are you present moment completely yeah like you're just you're not you're not thinking like uh it's not like baseball commentators were like I got a story I'll tell later in this no no cuz it is that yeah great no especially not while the actual fight is going on the actual fight is life and death you know you you have to be locked in but Daniel Cormier my uh co- so there's like two color commentators me and Daniel cor and this John anic who's the play-by-play guy me and Daniel [ __ ] around a lot we we joke around a lot about stuff during the because he's like a fun guy but when things are serious we're serious you you have to be like you know this is like you're representing these people's hard work you're trying to like put words to I love that yeah yeah you have to be very serious about it because the stakes are so high and it's wild though that
people might know you if they're just being introduced to you as the commentator for that and maybe don't know the other stuff and well it's confusing for sure but it's also like it's one of the things that I'm most uh impressed with by what you do is as someone that has this passion for tennis I'm like it's so cool how you dive into a completely different world yeah and you just can't apologize for it you can't wonder what other people think about it you just have to be yourself right and I grew up a martial artist martial arts is an enormous part of my life it's an enormous part of like how I became who I am yeah so for me like commentating on martial arts is normal right you're not a comedian who then no switched over to martial arts because it's served you it's it's your foundation of who you are and you also happen to be comedian and podcast host yeah I'm noted being funny you know I'm just trying to do that job like I've done commentary on professional pool too wow yeah cuz I play pool like and I play pretty good so I I really understand the game and I know what's going on so I've done commentary on that too it's the same thing what's your favorite Pool movie bil hler The Hustler the only answer to that question is the Hustler I thought The Color of Money had a had a run it's it's okay the color of money is good it's a good tournament movie it's a good Mo but it's you know there's some things in it and because Paul Newman was in it you know it kind of gave it some validity cuz it was the same Walter tev novel as the Hustler the color money it was very different the book was very different though but yeah the color money was great because it got a lot of people playing pool again but the Hustler is just an amazing film okay like the the actual film itself is amazing it's like Piper Lori is incredible in it it's it's just it's George C Scott is in it Jackie gleon plays Minnesota fats who's by by the way Jackie gleon was a real pool player he's probably the only guy that's ever played a pool player in a movie that really could play my brother once got a book for Christmas called uh how to hustle your friends a pool and it was in our it was in our basement we had a pool table but I just it was one of those things same that I worked at it I could never
get it right and eventually other things came more naturally to me but it is fun pool something if you really want to play right you have to get coached okay yeah it's just like tennis I'm sure it's like there can develop some bad habits and bad fundamentals that you'll never you're never going to pass a certain level of play yeah you know but I think it's like everything I think it's like chess it's like tennis it's like you know Schultz was in here the other day and he's into this sport paddle have you have you seen paddle is this p a D- L padel yeah this is the pel well I've heard padell it depends on how you want how pretentious you want to yeah perfect of course or if you're Spanish or Spanish oh did they say padel that's where it's from oh well why why don't we call it P Schultz said that's what said paddle like a New Yorker yeah so you know tennis has had this this great historical run on Elite racket Sports and then pickle ball has been this counter response to tennis silly ball loud noise don't really have to move much um and pickle ball has been taking off I don't know if you've played or if you've seen Kid Rock plays every day okay perfect that's that's at 8 in the morning plays pickle ball with a trainer that is exactly my point okay I was in Scottdale Arizona recently I did an hour of pickle ball the community there had music going cracking beers Costa come over play with us very very fun very fun I then go over to the other side and play tennis which is my Sport and no joke this older couple says you're talking too loudly on the courts right it's this beautiful dichotomy of these two sports I don't know if pickle Ball's a sport but padell comes along and seems to be this Middle Ground yeah what I don't like about pickle ball is you get to the what they call the kitchen line and you can't move anymore you're Frozen you so you just stand there Frozen and you just you knock the ball around I like a sport I want 360 degree movement I don't want to I don't want the I don't want the dimensions of the court to restrict my movement or the rules of the game padell seems to be both it's tennis but it's in this box and they sometimes run outside of the box [ __ ] insane and I've actually never played
but the points never end because you're on this this I I just see people bl's going outside the box I that's nuts that is nuts so it almost seems gimmicky to me that's funny that Andrew plays uh but I would like to play this and look you know also one of the best things that happened for racket Sports is HDTV dude when you used to I when you were a kid watching T watching Jimmy jump you never even see the [ __ ] ball the same color as the court and this [ __ ] now is unbelievable to watch that's like what they've done with hockey where they highlight the puck I love that [ __ ] that's a game changer at first people made fun of it and I was like I need and in hockey with the substitutions on the Fly I never know who who the [ __ ] on the ice yeah I love that though I love that they do that that's so cool I've been watching uh professional lacrosse lately once I realized they could beat the [ __ ] out of each other I didn't know that they could fight like they do I know they could fight they fight and they wear shoes which is crazy because now you're bare knuckle boxing in the middle of a game what does the shoes have to do with it what do you mean Get Grip Oh you mean like like a clean Sho right well the difference between running around on ice skates you're sliding around the fighting is like yeah they're fighting but they're kind of compromised because they can't really like you know good skaters can kind of hold it's not like having grip with your shoes being able to really you could really hurt people so they're beating the [ __ ] out of each other I'm like wow lacrosse lacrosse always kind of had the like douchy Rich Kid Sport but it is incredibly this yeah but this they stopped doing this in the '90s yeah I was going to say they stopped doing this I watch I like it I my favorite my favorite was I thought they put a circle around it FL when it flies around it got a lot of push back but I always enjoy sorry I was dou I don't think they do might show it sometimes on a highlight but that's funny I always avoided winter sports when I was a kid I didn't learn how to ski until I was in my 40s and I never learned how to skate because uh I was fighting all the time so I didn't want to do anything that would hurt myself doing so I like and
everybody was like we're going to go skiing I was like uhuh yeah the [ __ ] out of here like I need these the was like super important yeah this got everybody excited though a few weeks ago though USA Canada fight or game there was nine fights in or three seconds they just started squaring off yeah why are we upset at Canada this is stupid this over tariffs yes 100% they booed us over tariffs they were also trying to I mean it worked they got a ton of attention so everyone was who's red and who's blue well Canada's red there you go who's winning this exchange white Blue's America one dude keeps his helmet on that's ridiculous that helmet's problem I do love when you hear their microphones during a fight and they fight and then they go like you ready to be done yeah I'm ready to be done I love that it's like I I I was at the comic strip in Edmonton years ago when Canada played us in the gold medal game someone sent me the country's water usage during that game and at every period end the water usage would go up because everyone went would go to the bathroom right and it was like the whole [ __ ] country went to the bathroom at the same time and Canada won I think it was an overtime I was the only American there but man do they love a good winter sport up there and we got to become friends with Canada again we have to like you know I'm down this is so ridiculous I can't believe that there's like anti-American and anti-canadian sentiment going on it's the dumbest fuckud there it is that's nuts look at the water consumtion is there that's crazy right when I love on this pod where if I say something I got to be ready for you guys to fact check my ass Jamie's ready uh is there anti-canadian sentiment yeah there's a lot of idiots that now think that there are [ __ ] enemy okay why are we subsidizing Canada right well how come they don't have their own military well they don't so let's just like deal with it as it is uh you know Trudeau is out right he's already Le I they got a new guy who's just as bad same thing they got a new party 150 people voted now they have a new new guy running the country but they their whole election system is so different they don't have like a specific time when
they have elections and so they can call an election and I think it happens within three weeks the whole thing is so crazy and so I don't know what's happening with their politics but I just want America and Canada to get along I think it's ridiculous yeah it's a good as someone who's from an Arbor Michigan you know and I don't really think they should be our 51st State there I said it that you said it it's on record it would be fun if it happened it would be fun I think Greenland's more accessible yeah we could probably buy that yeah if you want a 51st date it's Greenland plus if global warming is real because of all the digging and oil and all that [ __ ] you know be good to have a cold spot to eventually warm up I I just read this crazy book called Power Metals by Vince Biser possibly we had him on the show Daily Show and it's all about like minerals and metals and what we need for our batteries and Cobalt mining in Africa and I went down all this YouTube [ __ ] with like the child you know labor and all but very I was very ignorant to how much we need and use Metals oh yeah nickel copper you know wild batteries EVS everything and so then when the news came out that Trump wanted Greenland I was like oh this is starting to make more sense to me no there's a lot of stuff up there there's a lot also a lot of stuff in the sky if they can mine asteroids if they successfully figured out how to M asteroids they can get a lot of Precious Minerals asteroids yeah well that's that's a few decades away but they'll figure it out eventually they they've been able to get samples from asteroids and they uh they know like what the composits are and you know there's asteroids out there that are filled with trillions of dollars and minerals that is [ __ ] nuts I know it's nuts yeah and they can figure it out they will they'll they'll eventually figure it out but uh I had sad Darth Cara on who is done uh he's done some pretty brilliant and brave investigative work on the Cobalt mines and you know he took video of what they call artisanal Minds it's essentially slaves digging this stuff out of the ground with their babies on their back this is from sadar book yeah I mean this is [ __ ] crazy and they're digging the Cobalt out of the ground with like literally with
sticks everybody's breathing it in it's all toxic these women have babies on their back the babies are breathing it in and then there's these pools right that you that you put the water and it's toxic water and the pools are different colors and we don't know where this goes and the water seeps in and is this also I can get the new iPhone 14 Max or whatever the [ __ ] it is 100% that's exactly what it is and terrible it's the only way we're getting that stuff right that's most of the Cobalts coming from that area and it's it's also then you go to the actual construction of the phone itself and you see those factories those foxcon factories where they have Nets around them to keep people from jumping off Ro and you realiz these people are working in these horrific conditions so that you can get an iPhone that cost .99 instead of $15.99 or whatever the [ __ ] it would be if it was made in America with people paid a working wage and health care and all the stuff you're supposed to get if you're going to be working especially if a company like apple that's worth more than any Corporation ever like Apple's insanely profitable so we we did this past at The Daily Show once about the sugar cane um agriculture in the central Florida they over fertilize it get makes more sugar faster all of the fertilization goes down to Lake okachobee then goes out to the oceans where the algae blooms the manatees die d d da and I'm just going I think most people would pay an extra 25 cents a year for this not to happen to spend more on sugar why why are we doing this why I I would pay more to have my iPhone be made in America by American hands yeah we've talked about that but the problem is the infrastructure that's required to be able to build phones here is a decade away right it takes a long time to build the kind of factories that can have like the tolerances of these chips and they've been doing it in China forever so it most it's [ __ ] wild I mean I was I I was loading my kids in the car put my phone on top of my car because I didn't have an extra hand forget it's there driving through Pennsylvania yeah and it's gone I hear it B all over the highway it's bouncing I stop I finally find my phone in the woods and 911 is on the phone wow we we recognize that there was a crash are you
okay do we and I'm like how the [ __ ] what holy [ __ ] that's in this thing yeah that's pretty wild it's wild it's also watching everything you do and listening to all your conversations and recommending Google searches why why don't you buy this Michael hey Michael maybe you'd be interested in buying this it seems like you were interested you're talking about vacation homes in Hawaii look Michael what about when you've already bought it that always is weird yeah it's weird when it's like feing the algorithm I'm in the algorithm yeah you get sucked into the algorithm you know it's uh it's an interesting world that we live in with all that stuff because it's like you're constantly getting inundated that's one of the things that I really enjoy about podcast it's the one time for three hours a day where I don't look at my phone yeah I don't have any text coming in it's on do not disturb I don't care I mean that could argue ably be why maybe you have this Supernatural memory and brain power because you more than anybody probably in the world maybe United States are actually away from this for four four hours just talking that could be interesting that's did I just crack something that's something there may be something of that but I think it's just a sheer volume of people that I've talked to yeah it's like you're getting information you're retaining a lot of that I've always been good at that for some reason you know I mean you just referenced the guest you had this previous book yeah uh are you retaining are you you doing a trick or anything to retain that you're just locked in and engaged yeah yeah I buy I take supplements for memory too though I take alphab brain which is a um it's called a neutop I saw there you can grab some I didn't take I didn't want to be too no get in there too sharp for the uh thing that vending machine you get free Alpha Brain just press the button you how many pods do you get free Alpha Brain on that's pretty sick anyone you want um it's uh but that stuff's legit it really works and it really we that was from my company on it and when we first made it a lot of people were saying oh this is snake oil this is [ __ ] I had already had experience with neut Tropics because um there's a company called nuro one and uh Bill Romanowski the football player
developed it because he was having memory problems after all the you know hits and uh I was on a radio show in San Francisco and one of the guys was working out with Bill Roman and he started taking this neuro one he's like dude it's like I'm so much more focused it's really great I'm like okay let me try this and I was like oh this is legit like I feel like uh my mind feels clearer like I I feel like I have more thought energy if that makes any sense yeah so then we started experimenting with different ones and uh there's a bunch I like one of them is uh this company nuro these are mints neuro mints but they make neuro gum which I'm a big fan of I chew it all the time it's gum that has like a little bit of caffeine a little bit of theanine in it what's the the goal just to kind of keep the brain energy High yes yeah you want to provide your brain with the nutrients your brain needs to produce uh human neurotransmitters all I'm going to take this maybe maybe we'll do like a before after that you know is mine I usually take two okay when I take the mints but they're legit this is so this is one neurog gums another one um true brain is another one that I've tried it's really good it's like little packets you drink I found I just assumed it was like kids and a and getting older that I'll lose my train of thought more often than I ever had before Oh yeah and I I hate it writing a joke it's not fun and and everything I read says like keep exercising get blood flow in your body this maybe sauna helps sleep isn't it crazy how much an athlete the best athletes treat sleep oh yeah I mean Pete S used to travel with duct tape so when he get to the hotel he would tape the curtain to the window so no excess light would get in cuz he wanted like full dark a float tank situation and I'm like you know at that level when you're playing for one in the world like all that little stuff yep and that's wild meanwhile you get my house I lay down we shut off the lights Sonos has a light the Wi-Fi thing has a light the clock has there so much extra excess light all around yeah it's not good maybe that's why I can't remember the joke I'm about to tell sleep is a big problem yeah you know you really need to get a solid 78 hours of sleep every night and if you don't you're going to
feel it one of the best supplements for mitigating the effects of sleep deprivation is actually creatine okay creatine is actually my buddy just started taking it I don't I don't know I take it every day I took it in college the strength team coach made me take it and it bothered my stomach well there's different forms of creatine um I take it in gummy form which doesn't seem to bother me at all I've had people that take it like liquid they pour it into water and they get diarrhea I haven't had that happen but it's also like there's different kinds of creatine you want really good creatine like you want a reputable company that makes creatine monohydrate and then there's another thing called hmbb that people mix with creatine but creatine besides being uh a muscle builder because it really does enhance your recovery and helps you build muscle it also is uh a neut Tropic it also helps brain function which Mak sense because if your body works better your brain works better you know and it it makes you retain more water you can't have more water in your body which is obviously also a good thing and especially for an athlete and especially for someone who wants to think like one of the worst ways to think is if you're dehydrated if you're dehydrated and tired like you're [ __ ] you're working on like 50% brain capacity well you I love watching sports you know the end you see these silly mistakes always why why would they do that that's you know why' the ball go through his legs why did he choose to serve to that side why did he throw the fast ball down the middle cuz they're [ __ ] dehydrated and tired and it's crazy how that affects brain function and that's why I love the couch fan oh my God why did he throw that it's like with a beer in your hand you're literally belly you're literally drinking a beer this guy this guy's a [ __ ] this guy's a [ __ ] if I was getting that money I'd fight my Tyson exctly I'd come out swinging yeah the couch fan is their best yeah like in fights you see it all the time when people are exhausted they make terrible decisions they shoot for takedowns they get caught in Guillotine chokes cuz they're exposed they just they're exhausted and they just take a chance and they don't have the energy to
complete the technique correctly yep yeah oh dude I mean my parenting with a full night sleep versus like had an early flight had to I mean it's crazy yeah everything is I mean I'm like i' like to think a kind patient parent on good night's sleep but like when I get home after a road gig or whatever even coming up this Sunday I have an early flight I'm going to get to Brooklyn I know it's going to be 1: p.m. and the wife's going to hand me the kids and go your turn right and I'm going to be like dude the patience is going to be it's going to be tough well you're going to be exhausted from the flight y you know what I I found helps a lot from flights is if you can work out immediately after right when you land okay like right when you land just just get into it just get something going even if it's 20 minutes do a bunch of push-ups and sit-ups and chin-ups just get get it going just reset the clock cuz when you exert yourself like hard you have a hard you know 20 minutes half hour of working out resets you and you're like I okay him back I'm okay I'm very excited about this weekend because uh my former assistant coach at Illinois where I play tennis is the head coach here at Texas oh at UT at UT so he's won an NCAA Championship his name is Bruce Burke he's an excellent coach but he's like dude come hit with us oh wow so I'm gonna be training with the Texas team and they're beasts these guys are you know it's so that's that's exciting for me that's cool that's super fun just get to do that and then perform a Mothership dude never even Ste foot in this place oh I'm excited for you to go and it's selling out so F I mean you've created it last time I was here it was like still an idea yeah Adam egot was around but now I mean it's just amazing man it's you've built something amazing yeah it uh it's as good it's better than we have ever hoped we never hoped it was going to be what it is now it's it's perfect was The Comedy Store uh a found ational thought with this oh yeah yeah mit's room is obviously test and I never met mity I never [ __ ] met her that's crazy that's her that painting's her let me ask something that's crude was she was she a hot she was hot when she was young when she looked like that she's hot cuz I see
like I go to the La Hoya comedy store and I see all the pictures of her and I'm like I think mity was hot you know but I didn't never she was hot when she was young um I didn't meet her then I met her in '94 you know she was already quite a bit older and she started suffering the beginnings of her neurological condition like she would have a little bit of shakes but she was there yeah and you know you could have conversations with her and she she helped me a lot and and she also helped Foster an environment of creativity and of collaboration and of you know there was it was a a home for a lot of you know Road Comics like there was this thing that you knew that you would go home and on Tuesday and Wednesday nights we would be at the store having the time of our lives on Tuesday and Wednesday nights we would be working on new jokes we' be doing sets we'd be laughing together everybody's cracking jokes in the parking lot it was so much fun and it was that home environment that we wanted to recreate as much as possible that's awesome and to make it as comic friendly as POS what have you ever wanted in a club they didn't have okay let's get that like what how do you want it this to be how do you want it get to the stage what do you think we be the and I asked everybody and Louis CK gave me some of the best advice like Lou told me to lower theils I shorten the stage in the smaller room he told me like toaden the sound as much as possible everybody wants that Echo because it makes it sound like people are killing more you want clear sound he's dead right on everything wow cuz he has a production mind you know he doesn't just have a mind of a comic he also has a mind of like what's the best way to set things up for a film or for you know set the environment yep you feel and notice all that stuff on stage I was performing recently ceiling's tall crowd is full yeah but where's the laughs going am I killing I feel like I'm doing well but I'm not hearing it yeah uh now I'm in my head a little bit right that's changed my order now I'm now I'm doing the bit that I know is going to kill instead of just letting things Rel and it's like all of that matters yeah all of that matters high ceiling is a big thing you want to be locked in I want everybody to be
locked in um The Comedy Store the way you just described that was was really became my my Clubhouse yeah and and I was a little bit I got past there when you were gone for a little while and I remember when you came back changed changed dramatically but La was really really tough for me initially upon moving there and then all of a sudden you get in a place like that there's a place to drink there's a place to talk [ __ ] there's a place to oh my God even just parking yeah right park here and then just hang yeah you know it was it changed the game it changed the game for me so Chang the game for all of us and having uh like The Improv was always a great Club to perform at I always perform there Laugh Factory is fun but there's something about the store was like that was home base and so the idea of doing something like that in Texas Ron White was the first guy to open my eyes to it because Ron had moved here before the pandemic and Ron's like it's in the middle of the country I don't have to [ __ ] fly for six hours it's like the place is great food's nice people are cool I'm like [ __ ] could I live in Texas cuz I always wanted to get out of La yeah cuz I felt especially when my kids were young I was like I've been through this with my older daughter I was like I don't think La is a good place for children I don't think it's a good place for young people I think it's just filled with too many like bizarre Ambitions and creeps and and it just like people are devalued because there's so many of them it's too it's too overwhelming um so I'd always thought about getting out and then the pandemic hit and then Ron White was the one who talked me into to open up the club like we were doing local shows at the Vulcan and we had talked about maybe opening up a club like maybe we should buy a club here and then Ron White got off stage he hadn't been on stage in like seven or eight months and he murdered he got a standing ovation when he got on stage and turned out he had he was playing it off he had practiced all day gone over his notes and he's just [ __ ] professional just murdered and then he grabs me by the shoulders goes whatever the [ __ ] we have to do we're going to keep doing this you going to open up that goddamn Club I was like okay yeah
okay okay always a great hang oh he's the best I mean at The Comedy Store he didn't know me and he would just hang and he's the best uh he's the Elder Statesman of the Austin comedy scene got it he's the best yeah he's such a good guy and he's always around and so like with Ron it's like so we had Ron we had Tony hinch cluff and then Tom sigura moved here and Christina pitsky and then the floodgates open Tim Dylan everybody started coming it's a title dude and then Shane Gillis moved here and he brought the whole Philly crew and there's all these killers it's like yeah Duncan moved here it's like it just became so fun it became so fun and all these things had to happen for it to take place like that yeah The Comedy Store had to lose guys like Adam like they had fire everybody so these people were all unemployed so I hire them yeah and I brought them over here when it wasn't even a club yet I was like I'll pay you now you can start getting paid now you'll you have health benefits all the Jazz just enjoy the city just have a good time a year or so I'll call on you and so then we started working I mean I've been texting Adam for a long time and I was like is is something H you know yes something is happening but we don't know when but not to come back and excited to walk through it so yeah a lot of people dismissed it it's not going to happen but it was going to happen I had you know well you just when you you're an outsider looking at your plate there's a lot on it yeah you know so yeah but this was important yeah there's also if I'm not going to do it who's going to do it you know it's one of those things where if you have an opportunity to do something very unusual and you don't do it well then what does nobody ever do anything unusual just [ __ ] do it everyone just always either goes to New York or LA and that's it forever also we had so many people like Brian Simpson he moved out here early Derek post and nanad they all moved out here early we had so many killers that were already here we're like this we already doing shows sold out shows at the Vulcan Tuesday Wednesday Thursday nights kill Tony was there on Mondays we were already doing weekend shows it was like it was a no-brainer we knew we could do it that's sick you know but it was it was a little
scary it's a little scary you dump a bunch of money buy a building oh [ __ ] re renovate the whole thing for a year and a half the decisions alone there a lot of decisions of decisions door knobs carpets lights ceiling drywall like we had a really good architect that helped too shout out to Richard Richard wise but at the end of the day really what it was all about was a lot of great timing great opportunity and great timing yeah and then doing it the right way from the beginning make it as comedy friendly as possible and just just make an environment where people like like to be there yeah nice friendly people everybody's having fun everybody's like real supportive and I love that yeah it's great and Comics to their credit I think naturally are non-conformists and I love that they'll jump at a new opportunity they're not like all tied so you know yeah Joe's open a club we'll go boom done and people moved here it's like nuts to hear I can't believe how often I was texting with Adam he said who who do you want to be opening for you this weekend I said send me some names send me all the names I'm like this feels like these feels like all comedy store names yeah everybody's these are all in a Holman lives here now he's here all the time that's crazy he was [ __ ] killing the other night now Holzman has a crowd here now yeah so instead of Holzman going up at 2 o'clock in the morning in the main room when there was no one there and the comics sit in the back of the room and laugh yeah now he's got sold out shows and people come to see Holtzman yeah and he's doing different material like every night man it's amazing he's got a crowd now and he can make money in town right which is huge and he doesn't have to travel Hees have to do the road and he is doing the road a little bit too now which is unique for Brian too it's really funny because he puts up these videos of people getting offended he does I haven't se yeah on his Instagram it's people getting offended and screaming at him walking out of his show because they don't get it they don't yeah but once you see him a couple of times and you get what he's doing then we have what we have in Austin now where people they you know when holzman's there it sells out they're coming to see Holtzman it's fun there's nothing more
beautiful than a person talking into a microphone causing a reaction to a group yeah it's beautiful it's nuts it shows how powerful words and energy and communication can be it's like you you let that person make you that mad and he didn't this person didn't touch you or hit you yeah that's wild right that is wild to think that that that we have that ability especially with Holzman because he lets you in on it every now and then what he's doing and then he comes back to it it's like you he's he does this very beautiful dance of like letting you in on it and then going right back to the [ __ ] guy yeah yeah yeah well it's [ __ ] great I'm looking forward to performing there so that's sweet you're going to have a good time man great did you bring people to open with you or you got local people uh I think we got local I'm not 100% sure but I didn't bring people with me but um we have a lot of good local well that's the thing it's like you could bring somebody or you're in a community where there's great comedy so I'd much rather do that yeah it's and it's it you'll have a great hang the Green Room is really great it's a great hang we have may West couch in there okay that um Peter Shore gave me it's mits she had it in her house and so we had it reupholstered so in the Green Room this beautiful pink couch that's May West couch okay amazing yeah so the bones of it are May West couch that's great yeah so we have Rodney Dangerfield's handwritten notes on the wall from his last Tonight Show special so it's all the different bits that he wanted to hit and all the different things that he wanted to talk about and then Patrick Bet David gave me one of Lenny Bruce's microphones holy [ __ ] so we have Lenny Bruce's microphone framed on the wall above the monitors I feel like Lenny Bruce not enough Comics understand what the the road he paved for everybody else you know it's like it's it's it's known that he did that but he's the OG that was he was the OG that's that's that's what I'm trying to say he was the first guy to go to jail he was going [ __ ] arrested him a bunch of times that is insane for stuff that is nothing today it wouldn't even get you kicked off Tik Tok but we still had the first amendment at that time so that's what's so interesting to me yeah the
interpretation of or the enforcement of has that's wild well this is the role same Constitution yeah same Constitution well this is the role that comedy plays in free speech because we are really one of the only countries that has the kind of free speech that we have the Declaration when we when we have the First Amendment that's it's talks very specifically the very first one about our ability to express ourselves how important that is yeah but if you're a comedian and you can't do that like if someone's deciding what you get well that sets the boundaries for everything else if he didn't do that if he wasn't doing that in the 50s and the 60s and getting arrested like who knows where Free Speech would be today what was he arrested on profanity you could be arrested on profanity yeah he was arrested um on profanity charges yeah they had profanity laws back then where in public places you uh you couldn't have and you know different places and different different districts had different regulations but he was I'm sure in San Francisco where he started probably could do whatever he wanted and then you know as you travel and you start and then it became more and more popular obscenity obscenity this reminds me of profanity obscenity um so here it is uh where in oh so he's he was arrested at the Jazz Workshop in San Francisco which is even crazier in 1961 where he used the word [ __ ] and said that to is a preposition come is a verb that the sexual context of come was so common that it bore no weight and that if someone hearing it became upset he probably can't come although the jury acquitted him other law enforcement agencies began monitoring his appearances resulting in frequent arrests under obscenity charges yeah but Joe see there although a jury acquitted him I'm just wondering like was he actually breaking a law or they just hassling him by arresting him because he can't dude they've arrested him for saying schmuck I mean go back to that real quick but I'm saying there's no what what do you charge somebody with well this was this was the obscenity charges like they said if you go back to that Wikipedia page look at that this is crazy he said um later be Sherman BL later became the county sheriff the charge this time was
that the community use the word schmuck an insulting Yiddish word that was also considered a term for penis oh my gosh the Hollywood charges were later dismissed so this was in Philadelphia and then Los Angeles and then West Hollywood in West Hollywood he was arrested imagine the place where the comedy store resides right now he was arrested just 10 years before Richard PRI was performing live in the sunset's trip I mean what about the the one in Philly is legit the gay what's that the gay drug possession yeah he did a lot of drugs yeah that's a fact I would do I would do a lot of drugs if I got arrested every time I said schmuck so live on the sunset's trip I think was 81 or 82 is that correct what year was live in the Sunset Strip cuz I was in high school I remember that 66 I have that poster that Lenny Bruce poster there's a lot of Lenny Bruce love out in that which is so cool yeah I have a lot of Lenny Bruce stuff out there I look he was the guy and it's hard when you listen to his stuff today because most of it yeah it's kind of TR like we've we've heard all the pr before it's because he's he broke the ground you have to remember people were so innocent in 1961 the culture was so different that what he was saying was groundbreaking I fell into that trap you know I was like I'm I'm not really digging it I'm not enjoying but it's like you have to really think about where we were then sure if you listen to Shakespeare talk you probably this guy's a [ __ ] [ __ ] are you what thou dust not like shut up but if it's like in the context of 1961 what he was doing was it was a kin into a lot of things that were to come like the anti-war movement the Civil Rights Movement all these things were bubbling up about this freedom of exploring ideas and expressing yourself but in comedy it had just been two Jews walking to a bar you know it been jokes it set up punchline the Italian says the Polish guy it would been a lot of that stuff and so he came along and is like why do we have these words that are forbidden why do we have this why is that why can't people be in love this way why can't that happen and it was like people were like Jesus like why can't we and like he changed the way people thought about life not just about comedy and then I think Richard PRI came
along and made it way better yeah made it funnier but also what fascinates me so much about that with Lenny Bruce is it was this it's the same first amendment that we have right today it's the same yeah and those words have not changed but Society has or its interpretation has or its enforcement has that's wild yeah that's wild re enforcement is the thing and then the concept of obscenity charges obscenity charges are very subjective right who's to decide what's obscene to me schmuck is not obscene it's kind of cute if you know if someone calls you a schmuck it's probably a friend of yours you know he you [ __ ] schmuck like ah it's not a I mean get arrested for schmuck that's crazy what is this Jamie this is where the sen law came from a court case well this is 73 though this is what I typed in word did the obscenity laws and say no I understand but this is 73 because you know he was 61 so what does it say there the ruling go scroll up at the top a little bit it says a landmark decision of the US Supreme Court clarifying the legal definition of obscenity as material that lacks serious literary artistic political or scientific value jeez the ruling was the origin of three-part judicial test for determining obscene media content that could be banned by government authorities which is now known as the Miller test so test is actually quite relevant right now it's coming up a lot oh is it Miller test yes for what uh First Amendment stuff I just heard heard something about it that's interesting yeah it is interesting because this the thing about this is this is probably all in response to all the anti-war activists and all of the the whole hippie freedom of speech flower child movement I did a piece for the Daily Show after Biden won and this woman in um New Jersey had up 10 15 flags [ __ ] Biden [ __ ] Joe Biden [ __ ] Joe Biden Flags was in a certain was was on a path to a school and a lot of parents said take down the flag she said it's my first amendment right got all messy Court uh the city made her take it down she refused NAA CP popped in to defend her saying it was her right as a Biden was a political figure but then it became an obscenity it was a very interesting piece and
I spoke to her and she was very outspoken and I my whole take was like hey just maybe let's say legally you can put those flags up but it's just kind of shitty right and she was like [ __ ] you I'm G put my flags up but interesting when obscenity mixes in with school kid M what is that now right um right especially public figure public figure if it says [ __ ] Tony [ __ ] Michael that's different than [ __ ] Joe Biden the sitting president United States right all fascinating yeah it is it's also it's like you know what do you want to see in your neighborhood like do you do you really I don't like people putting those [ __ ] stupid signs on their lawns my parents were diard liberals they were living in Florida at the time and this is uh during 20 2016 and my mom was complaining every time I put my Hillary Clinton sign someone takes it down I'm like you're in Florida like why are you putting Hillary Clinton signs on your lawn but to my mom might as well be like she was supporting the Miami Dolphins you know was her team her team was the Democrats well I was just going to say I don't like when a kid is wearing a dolphin's hat or a Yankees hat cuz I'm like we as adults have put that on the kid maybe the kid is just a fan of the sport though it's possible but d d dad probably made made him do it but maybe maybe the kid just likes us that doesn't bother me at all there's nothing wrong with supporting teams but there's a real problem when it's how the whole countryes run and you're thinking about it like a team like that's that's kind of ridiculous and people to put those [ __ ] signs in their law like settle down just why why why you doing like it's just like you're like no [ __ ] this is what I right in the yard right in the front of your house we support like those people that like science is settled This Is This Love Is Love black lives matter like okay who was the who was the Supreme Court Justice with the flags got in the whole [ __ ] neighborhood fight with the flags uh had the had the uh white flag with the green pine tree on it and that was it was Christian nationalism or had ties to it whatever but I'm saying white flag with a green pine tree is Christian nationalism uh wasn't it I don't know I don't know about you know I'm talking about this no what was this do you
remember Jamie I'm looking it up it's I think samuo uh it was I thought it was maybe Roberts but his wife and then he's and then um there it is appeal to heaven so that flag was flying you can see there the Boston Globe that's his uh New Jersey uh the one right underneath that Jamie that's his New Jersey house beach house and that got put up but this is all because neighbors started fighting about their signs what is that uh an appeal to Heaven what does that mean I I don't know what's that flag supposed to represent Jamie huh but um interesting that our Supreme Court Justice got involved in one of these sign fights and then they called him out on it and he said it's my wife uh it's just [ __ ] hilarious right my wife my wife did it my wife's a Christian nationalist is that a Christian nationalist thing what a call to Heaven I don't know what that that I we'll find out I I've never even heard of it until just now he took it down from in front of San Francisco City Hall probably part of the same issue well what does it mean has to do with the colonies it said what revolutionary war okay the flag was originally used during the American Revolutionary War flown by George Washington's Cruisers and is associated with the early quest for American independence it's since been adopted by a different group one that doesn't represent the city's values so we made the decision to swap it with an American flag well first of all you probably should have the American flag there anyway you shouldn't have to have swap it how about have the American flag everywhere you [ __ ] America yeah uh but uh January 6 2022 videos and photos showed the some supporters of former president Donald Trump waving the appeal to Heaven flag oh they ruined it just like the it's possible ruined the swas which was got all those right there where is it oh yeah an appeal to heaven so what is it so it's because it's Trump supporters now is that why that's why I don't know why Alo put it up but I remember it being something to do with like the homeowners associations all were mad at each others and they put the flag he he threw his wife right into the bus look at this my wife is Fond the Flying Flags I am not AO R my wife was solely responsible for having flag poles
put up up at our residence and our vacation home and has flown a wide variety of Flags over the year how many Palestine Flags you fly how many wide variety you got a lot of Ukraine Flags fly in your house what kind of flags you got it just makes me laugh that look this is the petty [ __ ] that like normal Americans get in you're the you're Supreme Court Justice just get out of it but yeah I don't know about that flag this is the first time I've ever seen that but it's it's a thing that people do they want to let you know what they support and what they don't and yeah yeah yeah we love telling people what we believe it's and it's very important that we feel like we have beliefs and it's when we start sharing him that well you find out other people don't agree you find out other people might not agree with you and this gets back to grit and toughness and uh well this also gets back to the importance of your show The Daily Show because the Daily Show especially under the tutelage of John Stewart when he's running the helm it's it's so balanced at pointing out ridiculous [ __ ] all over the place which I think is so important that's the that's the that's the goal that's the aim so smart and when we do it right I love it and you know it's it is every day so sometimes you do it right and you're thankful you pat yourself on the back but guess what there's a show tomorrow yeah and uh I think we benefit men so many I'll take when I host so many questions I'll take questions from the audience and so many people go like Michael how do you hold yourself to journalist Integrity when you and I go what I'm a [ __ ] comedian this is on Comedy Central I'm not I'm not a journalist the fact that you just because you see us as informative which I'm thankful for and the fact that you come to us for information which I'm thankful for but I'm a little terrifying though right don't ever forget lady I'm not a journalist yeah I'm not in you know the war zone I'm a clown yes my job is to put all this [ __ ] into a comedy machine and crank out some type of sausage and feed it to you but it's nuts that Comedy Central Daily Show is considered journalism yeah or people will stop me on the subway and go like thank you for what you're doing and I'm going I I'm trying to just make you
laugh is that what you mean it's not what they mean though they mean like fighting the good fight fighting the fight decompressing the and fascists right and also also comedy as we've talked about is one of the only places that can challenge and speak to power truthfully yeah and comedy also can make you consider or something so like if you have an opinion and you go out there and state your opinion eloquent I I could be there well I disagree I have a different opinion but if you go out there with that opinion you make me laugh with something I don't even necessarily agree with dude that's the best and then you can go oh this he's got a [ __ ] point he's got a [ __ ] point that is the magic trick that's the magic trick of comedy and that's and Daily Show does that great but I remember one time sitting with my wife at The Comedy Store Tiger Woods had just like you know all of that [ __ ] came out the cheating the voicemails I mean he was like you know maybe arguably one of the more promiscuous husbands of all time and Burr goes up and he starts defending tiger right and I'm watching I'm feeling my wife's energy like I'm like Bill don't do this dude like you're defending this guy who is in the heat of all the hatred and as I watch the joke I feel her relax now at the end she's laughing and I'm like you just did the [ __ ] magic trick dude you did the trick he's one of the best at it you took the level of difficulty at its highest yeah we were all of us were against you you did it and that's that's the [ __ ] that's just close to Magic is there is yeah well it's a beautiful thing if you could turn a controversial subject into something hilarious yeah that at least puts people's guard down for a second yeah I think they'll see through it if they feel like it's just you're truly trying to trick them into a message if your real goal is to entertain and laugh that yeah that's uh you know I I heard I was researching sauna stuff a lot because I was building this sauna last summer and I read that in Finnish culture a lot of the politicians won't even start negotiating or talking until they're like [ __ ] scorched in the sauna and I thought that was really interesting because comedy you know I don't know how truthful is but I know
there there is a lot of pictures of of um it's a good move I I just you all suffer together come back to being comy kind of does that too it's like if we're all laughing we at least have that in common if we're all sweating and and having a hard time with this moment right we're I love that I think that's it's a human moment I mean you're literally dying you're dying in there and you can't stay there forever you got to about 20 minutes and then you got to get the [ __ ] out and you're like yeah and now you can all be human together it's something really a good move it's something really nuts to me about that the dry heat of a sauna that I don't understand completely but it really fixes a lot of [ __ ] in me you know another good thing about the having the politicians going the sauna we can kill off a lot of the old ones Mitch McConnell a going to make it there's no [ __ ] way if you want there used to be a world sauna championships and then a guy died oh yeah yeah they kept pouring water on it if you on the rocks on the Rocks like they were pouring like a liter of water on every I don't know what the time but I heard that I was like oh my God and it was like 200 plus degrees and what's your what's your sauna um how like how would you advise me to get the most out of my sauna um 20 minutes yeah 20 minutes is good and cool off and come back in you can if you like I don't necessarily do that all the time I'll do like one day a week I go cold plune sauna cold plun sauna I go back and forth usually I start with sauna I always end with cold plunge if I do three Cycles whatever it is you end with cold plune cuz you want your body to fight to to to warm it back yeah so you just shocking the [ __ ] out of your system um but the finished studies that have showed uh the more people do it the more effective it is in terms of what they studied was they they found that when people over the course of 20 years use the sauna four times a week they had a 40% decrease in all cause mortality crazy everything Strokes cancer heart attack everything because your body is becoming far more resilient and you're also developing all these heat shock proteins and eliminating inflammation clearing out your system and then you're rehydrating afterwards very very good you're also not on the
phone yes you're also not on the phone um although I do have a Bluetooth speaker in there um you can get some Bluetooth speakers that I got one called not a brick it's a really good one it could take the heat of a sauna I was going to say so I listen to like books on tape when I'm stretching sweating my brains out I was in my sauna all by myself and it's very quiet I'm in the woods in Pennsylvania and this [ __ ] Buck just walks right in front and it was just me and him I don't know if you saw her or smell or whatever but it was like crazy oh that's cool just to watch you know what that's like um what's it called I'm not a hunter what's it called when you just kind of go to watch and see where they're going to be is that called something yeah observation yeah sure nature yeah just opening your eyes but that's it was wild to see that cool very cool very very cool Wildlife is wild and especially if you don't expect it like you're sitting in the sa and the deer's right there what's going about the uh government doing it there they apparently drink alcohol in the sauna seems not a great idea they get drunk before I I like that too drink in there a long drink iconic finished gin mixed drink that's basically a Tom Collins and a can but way better because it's being sipped in a sauna with new found sauna friends that's cool that is cool that's a great move yeah like something that makes you more human you suffer together yeah you're and you you you also are yeah you're focusing on a thing that isn't this result that we need want yeah they should probably take all the Congress people and make them run a tough mutter together you know go through the mud [ __ ] climb ropes and [ __ ] go overes be great I've actually found my wife and I when we do a son you know there's always stuff you got to talk about with the family Logistics there's always things to argue about but we'll go in there and we both start sweating and then it's kind of just like eases the tone eases the conversation yeah which is helpful yeah no one's real loud in the sauna yeah and you chill both suffering yeah just suffering yeah that's interesting yeah I I think it's it should be a part of everybody's life and there's by the way if you can't afford
it they they make a sauna blanket that is one of our sponsors it's really good I've used that thing before it's great you just climb inside this [ __ ] blanket and you could bring it on the road with you and it swe and you sweat it off it doesn't weigh that much you carry it and it'll heat you the [ __ ] up and it'll give you the heat shock proteins I like a dry sauna better I like being in a but if you want to like travel or if you want to if you don't have the resources or a place for it those things are great yeah hot baths are great too hot baths after workout supposed to increase muscle it's tough to find sauna though in a lot of American cities yeah when I go on the road uh I'm always trying to find Cold tubs are more frequent now really they're more frequent now but way to do the cold plunge is you do it before you work out that's the real move oh no [ __ ] yeah that really increases testosterone too and also it increases your workout out put because your muscles are like pre-chilled I would think it would be it would be easy to get injured after no you just warm up just warm up you warm up so I go through uh a series of things that I do that are like pretty low intensity I do 20 kettle bell swings and then I do 20 push-ups then I do 20 body weight squats and I do a cycle of five so I do 100 swings 100 push-ups 100 body weight squats and by the time of that that's like probably 15 minutes by the time that's over I'm sweaty I'm ready to go and then I go into everything else dude I want to show you this picture I know that uh you know this Lakehouse I have nice uh New Year's Eve I don't want to kill our time with this but when do you get to show Joe Rogan this pick so let me find it this is New Year's Eve dude cut a hole in the lake oh wow with an axe and I'm just justed in there the lake try to do 3 minutes there a safety rope which I don't know if that could even even help me if I [ __ ] pass out but that's nice uh doing a cold Plunge in nature yeah not just a tub love the tub too but man I [ __ ] love it I was in um I feel amazing after that Utah and they had a a creek running through glacial creek creek freezing cold yeah I climbed in that [ __ ] in my underwear and got up to my neck that's that's good stuff it's
nice it's like something about doing in nature too it's like you're even more connected to everything oh totally yeah yeah very cool getting that cold water and breathe I get like a weird a weird high after for sure oh for sure it lasts for hours it increases your dopamine by 2 200% and it lasts for hours so why is it that healthier than doing a drug that increases your dopamine well because it's natural natural yeah it's natural also it's like it gives you something in terms of mental resilience it gives you like an exercise that exercise correct is it's very difficult especially for the first minute it's hard first minute is like let's get the [ __ ] out of here and he keeps talking to you and you're like shut up [ __ ] yeah and then after a minute that calms down and you can breathe clean you you start getting those rhythmic breaths in and out and just keep your [ __ ] together for 3 minutes and then when you get out you're like that's what you do typically 3 minutes so it's like one there's the feeling like I did it which feels great like I didn't [ __ ] out I actually did the 3 minutes but then there's like this euphoric feeling as your body just your norepinephrine your dopamine everything elevates you just feel wonderful patience too my patience is killer kids I'm smiling more oh that's fine you can draw on the wall whatever it's like that part of your brain got exhausted the part of your brain that's dealing with like real adversity so like little kids adversity is nothing it's not you're not freezing to death they're just like that's my crayon come on guys let's get along I I it's it's been a super benefit to me the problem living in New York is I don't get to cold plunge as much as I want to but well they have stuff that you could do like you know you could do it in your tub if you can get ice ice and they also have these coolers that you can plug in and you could do like uh if you have like one of those big Yeti Coolers you can climb in that and you'll put a hose in there and a cooler and it'll bring that down to like 40° and you can just get in like a Yeti cooler yep yeah I bet I bet you could do it at a bathtub too I bet they they figured out how to attach an engine to that do they have one yeah they do yeah Jamie knows it so how does it work I'll show
you but there's just like a little motor thing you attach just so that's perfect like if you just have a bathtub you're golden can you know if you live in an apartment that has a tub you you have a coal punch now or if you don't have that get yourself a Yeti cooler Yeti makes some giant ass coolers like from people hunt caribou and [ __ ] I just typed in bathtub cold plunges yeah there it is so you just have this thing it plugs in it cools everything off and you climb it how cold did that does that [ __ ] get 39 degrees it's crazy that again two-year warranty we're we're such Comfort zones as humans now that we have to pay $800 to cool our water to get into it yeah it's a bit of an issue yeah yeah we're [ __ ] we're [ __ ] now we've made life very easy which is wonderful it's better than being hard I don't want to live in the [ __ ] GL days that's what the point was was to make it easy and sugar and fat readily available at all times you have to carry a sword with you everywhere dude I love going to the um Natural History Museum in New York and look go under the armor Jesus Christ it's like what these [ __ ] had to wear and use and carry did you ever see that defend themselves is nuts from um I think it's waterl one of the one of the battles uh one of uh um one of the French soldiers got hit with a cannonball in the chest and they have the armor that has the hole in the chest like in The Cannonball out the back exploding outward look at that dude look at that yeah that's the battle water loop that guy got hit with a cannon ball in the chest can and I bet you his armor salesman was like I'm going to upsell this guy on and he's like no I don't want the upsell then that's he should he should have M I'm telling you this armor no that is right through them that is a great reminder of what society and life used to be like God damn man look at that one on the the other one Jamie no but the one to the left where you see the exit right to the left to that yeah right there you see the exit Jesus Christ boom blew right through this guy's body his armor his chest out the back that's crazy and size of a [ __ ] softball oh up yeah it's pretty [ __ ] up super
[ __ ] up that was life back then it's better and that's a guy that could have had armor that's probably a high high ranking person yeah right yeah he he got he got hit he got that's a rap son but you got to think that those people would much rather live today with all this Comfort oh my God yeah the problem is you just can't rely on it too much you can't live for Comfort that's stupid you got to have voluntary discomfort yeah that'll help you get through this life that's a good way to put it that those people would pick today for sure [ __ ] you know I went you know I remember like I went to the Museum of medical Oddities in Philadelphia and they were doing a whole thing on denter and it was like oh most people in the Civil War died of that yeah they didn't die of of like wounds and it was like wild that of course if you were Soldier today you don't you don't die of denter that's insane but they would put the Kitchen near the the toilet and it was like and what kind of water you drinking water and all that [ __ ] so there's no iodine tablets back then no stere pens to yeah clean your water what what's the one I used I I did the Appalachian Trail last year not all just a few days and I forget the thing I would filter the water with it was great man there's such cool stuff like that now I mean millions of those things yeah there's a lot of stuff that'll filter water make it drinkable and there's all these cool Appalachian Trail communities that leave stuff for people along the trail so it's like I remember I was just like dying I'm like no more snacks blood sugar's dropping I have water but it's just like I'm in it I'm doing the difficult thing and then you get to this cooler and it's like from this Appalachian tril club and it's just like gummy bears in there Jesus Christ nice that's cool that's cool that they have that set up yeah but it's a weird thing to choose to do to go for a long walk that doesn't feel serial killers I mean there there are some famous uh murders that have happened on the appalation trail but I I felt very safe I yeah I mean I I loved the idea I was alone I love the idea of finding a place to sleep that's in the middle of nowhere
I love that [ __ ] dude I'd be super nervous something about the woods really the woods are dangerous at night here's what here's what's crazy about the appalachi trail at least where I was in Jersey most of the time I had cell service oh wow so I'm like in my tent answering text and I'm no is kind of CRA but you know what you know what started that for me was during co uh my wife got me this week with Jordan Jonas in the survival uh you know Jordan Jonas W oneone on the podcast the podcast he been on the podcast right right one lost um shot a moose with a bow and AR I think he killed a wolverine with his hat yeah with a hatchet stealing his meat so my wife bought me a week with this Survival Camp with him and a bunch of other people and it was just like one of the things that one of the conclusions I and we came to while we were up in the Bitterroot mountains of Idaho was at least one a year we all need to be doing something where we are embedded with nature and this might sound silly to somebody who goes hunting or someone who's already doing this but if you're living a city life yeah going to the park is not really experiencing nature well it is a little it's tiny bit it's it's nature I mean it's contained nature but it's real nature you see squirrels and birds it's good for you it's good for you to sit under a tree there's ticks there are tick are ticks man ticks are wild tick your dog's going to get fleas yeah ticks are a [ __ ] especially on the East Coast because of lime disease which uh turns out was man-made turns out there's a lot of real evidence that Lyme disease was uh it was weaponized and that it leaked out of a lab and it came out of a lab called Plum Island which was close to Lime Connecticut and RFK Jr firmly believes that this was a weapons program and what they were going to do is develop these fleas and ticks with a disease that that spreads rapidly wipes out the medical system of a community so you could dump them from a plane everybody gets infected overwhelms their medical system and then they're more vulnerable if you want to attack them that just doesn't seem very thought through though well there's some less thought through ones there's one that they were developing at one point in time I don't know where
they got with it but there was talk of them developing a bomb that they would detonate over cities that would blind everybody holy [ __ ] yeah yeah yeah imagine that imagine you you detonate that and then you have 300,000 blind people isn't it amazing what we can do in a positive light and also what we can do in a negative light oh we're scary and we're scary in our ability to justify these things yeah you know that's what's really crazy yeah we're scary in our ability to to decide that these people are the other so we should bomb them into Oblivion and like yeah we're winning like oh my God like what are you talking about you don't even know those people the other is a is a um effective strategy well it's a built in to our our tribal trial brains is that right just we had Daryl Cooper on the podcast yesterday who's uh he runs a podcast called martyr made and one of the things he talked about was oxytocin and he was like it's really interesting because oxytocin makes you really deeply love your family and your community and this is what women get when they have children men get and when you're in love and this but it also makes you very hostile to Outsiders crazy it's like it protects the the people that are you love and that are vulnerable but it makes you very protective of the outside so like you you are less likely to trust strangers less likely to trust other people and it probably served an enormously benefit it was probably very beneficial in the caveman days you had to have it you had to have it there was no friendly people coming over with Spears you know they found you and you had women and food like you're [ __ ] right and that was most of our evolutionary existence most of the time from leaving the savanas and you know experimenting with different foods and becoming human beings we were fighting and that's got to be undone as long as it took to make that which is very long time that's being undone yeah yeah well slowly but surely and with if we all Give In Our God AI we will be fine we just need to submit to the chip and become a part of the hive mine and everyone's going to read each other's minds there be no more secrets and there would be no more no more violence they really want us to do AI oh yeah
everybody does it is like it's inevitable man I know but even even I write an email now and it's like you want us to polish this thing and it's like I don't even want you anywhere near me right I know well you know Samsung they're they were the first to wheel out AI with their uh Galaxy s24 Ultra I I have two phones I have an iPhone and I have a Galaxy phone and what I really like about the Galaxy phone is if I use Samsung's browser I can go on websites and it gives me a summary so instead of like reading this long winded tell me what you figured out and then I can get a summary and then I can oh they realized that Earth is actually blah blah blah blah blah right oh okay cool it's like quicker and then it also does a lot of things it transcribes things it translates things in other languages translates it directly into your ear if you have the Galaxy earbuds pretty [ __ ] crazy that's crazy yeah it's wild [ __ ] man and this is just the beginning of this stuff I mean essentially when you have chat gbt or grock on your phone you have access to the most insane amount of answering power that a human being's ever experienced we could ask it questions about what was the reason why Columbus and then it'll give you a [ __ ] historical detailed 5000 word essay on what went down you're like this is nuts but it's only as good as the food it's been fed correct right right well that's why Google how to abandon theirs cuz it kep me oh yeah was that the like uh show me a Nazi or whatever it was like a beautiful black woman or something Native American woman Nazi it was a Chinese lady Nazi we covered that on the show that was a trip uh yeah that was just a good example of wokeness um and ideology interfering with information like that's crazy na look like German men make them look like German men you [ __ ] idiots this is dumb but this like but that won't they won't say bye byy they'll just come back with a newer version that doesn't do that they did it certainly they did I mean Google Gemini is one of the search engines I mean if you have an Android phone and you press that button and you ask Google a question it's Google Gemini so they've fixed that they've fixed that but it's also like how much did you fix it did
you get it out 100% is this objective information if I if I want to ask a question about a controversial subject will you give me real data or will you give me some whitewashed [ __ ] version of it that's supposed to be acceptable today like I want to know what's going on my Wikipedia page has said that I'm Greek for as long as I'm alive Greek women show up to my shows these beautiful Greek women like they have dessert Greek people uh it's never no one's ever [ __ ] checked I'm not Greek and but costus is such a I know ex it makes perfect sense it's it's fits with the ideology or the idea that you know yeah and somebody wrote an article once that I was Greek no you know was like a Blog they showed a picture of me and no one checked and it's just it's just kept spiraling and it's like really funny for me after the show these beautiful Greek people come up and they say we're so happy and I and they say where are your parents from and all this [ __ ] and I go we're [ __ ] Ukrainian I don't want I want to tell you you know thanks thanks for the dessert but did they get a Sour Puss huh did they get a Sour Puss like you're not or they'll be like no or what's funny is they'll go like no he is you know like like you are one of us but the Internet isn't always right everybody it's not it's it's not it's lots of times it's wrong well the internet is filled with purposeful misinformation today too yeah especially if you get on social media holy [ __ ] so much of what social media is is Bots and I don't think people even really truly understand it you we've covered it many times before but there was an FBI uh former FBI agent who examined uh Twitter interactions and he he estimated as much as 80% of it his b [ __ ] this is like when Elon was buying it and they were trying to say it was 5% right because there's no way it's 5% because if you're an out of state actor if you're a state actor from another country you're from China Russia and you're involved in misinformation campaigns you're going to be well sourced you're going to well resourced you're going to probably have thousands and millions of accounts who knows you're going to carpet bomb any sort of controversial subject with all sorts of propaganda of course they're going to do that of course and right now that's totally doable until you all
submit to AI once you put the chip in your brain then deception will be impossible we'll eliminate one of the biggest problems in society you just have to take the leap of faith and they'll be like an infom our show the leap of faith and then you see a guy saying there dude it's always like the the uh image of AI it's always like a door is opening and it's bright light and I know come to Jesus Yeah It's tricky because it's inevitable they they can't not do it because China's going to do it the power that AI is going to have over populations and with the distribution of information is going to be unprecedented also you're never going to know what's real and what's not in terms of like news stories because they'll be able to concoct fake news stories that will be indistinguishable it'll look just like a real plane crash it'll look like a real Missile hit something it'll look like things and it won't have ever happened and you won't be able to know and it's going to get weird it's going to get real weird we've already seen AI versions of Obama talking saying things he never said there's AI versions of trump giving speeches he never gave there's AI versions of me having a podcast with Steve Jobs and this was a while ago [ __ ] yeah those deep fakes I mean the the there's like the funny one of trump rubbing elon's feet yeah but it's like those are like so obviously a joke but it's it's uh they're good they had the Biden voice calling people and and well there's a lot of uh AI ladies now that are on Instagram that you look at the images oh this isn't a real person they have the same smile in every picture they're all in different places and and people are like you know contacting them and dming them and they'll probably responding and probably telling you about their Grandma's sick and some money right get some money yeah it's not as clear as like oh they have three breasts this is this is fake yeah is this a AI oh this is a guy the webcam wow this is crazy look at the eyes you know it kind of reminds me of like the uh my kids watch these shows and the eyes are always so big cuz the kids pay attention to that that is weird she is pretty she's beautiful it's a dude it's a dude on only fans so that dude will have like beautiful tits and be able to
show you the which is sucks because then everybody's jerking off to that and then is that better than exploitation I think it is it's better than exploitation yes so there go he's not going to think his wife is as beautiful because he's been jerk you know but yes right yeah there's those problems but yes but you're right it's that's better than exploitation you both have to put the headgear on that way she's having sex with having sex with Angelina Jolie this account is that it's 1.7 million followers and it's totally fake lady I think so oh look you see her feet she posts tweets that are you know talking [ __ ] jokes and stuff but then there's a bunch of pictures of this like fake person wow it's weird it is weird man and it's going to get weirder and you're going to have ai presidential candidates AI is going to tell you that we can solve all the world's problems if we just eliminate human interaction and just let this brilliant AI govern everything and do it in a much more Equitable manner I yeah I I'm fearful that I don't even know the language to help my kids figure this [ __ ] out right because the language hasn't even really I mean I love to I love to advocate for media literacy push for that teaching all of us what a what a more reputable website is or a news source but that just feels cute compared to what's coming what the language of of an AI president who offers all solutions I I I don't know how to combat that not just that but an AI That's attached to Quantum Computing yeah so once they figure out a way to actually program Quantum Computing to run AI you're going to have a god it's [ __ ] up dud you are you're going to have a God I mean yeah Mark Andre and I've said this before I apologize but Mark andreon had a quote about uh an equation that Quantum Computing was able to solve that if you took the entire universe every molecule every atom in the universe and you con converted that into a supercomputer the entire universe would die of heat death before it could solve this problem and Quantum Computing solved it in minutes wow and the only thing that makes sense to them is that Quantum Computing is somehow or another tapping into the Multiverse and it's solving this equation using
multiple universes and the information available in multiple universes simultaneously what I know it's hard to even like track yeah and this is just the version of it that we have in 2025 that we have right now and so this is an actual thing that's happened and so most people aren't even aware what Quantum computing means so once this becomes not just one of these but hundreds of these and then they're scalable and they're attached to nuclear reactors which is what they're proposing they're going to have their own nuclear reactors multiple nucle nuclear reactors as power sources because these things require insane amounts of power to run then the quantum Computing once it becomes sentient is going to develop a much better version of itself of course and that's going to scale up and it's going to like but you know what we're always going to need Plumbing carpentry that's why all this [ __ ] feels so intimidating because I I can never wrap my head around that but maybe we should be learning real skills and traits well that would be nice for people but people are going to be obsolete right you know that's really what's happening is we're we're giving birth to a a digital life form that's far superior and doesn't have all the requirements that we have and also doesn't have all the flaws that we have doesn't have greed and anger and all the stupid things that we have doesn't get tired yeah doesn't get jealous doesn't have lust doesn't have jealousy and envy isn't you know depressed I think we're far away from that yeah probably a couple weeks yeah the thing is once it happens it's going to be so fast it's going to be so hard to track if you think like the Industrial Revolution like comparatively if you if you look at like the history of the human race you go from Stone Age people to Bronze Age you go through all the different Wars all the different and then in the last 200 years Everything Changes radically right radically in the last 20 years information changes radically this is going to be like 20 seconds this is going to like one day right it's up it's up and running and it's completely in control of everything it's completely in control of power completely in control of information completely in control of Transportation
water distribution every car you have on the road today that's you know within the last 15 20 years has computers in it yeah yeah our our car got totally dismantled because a rat ate a wire oh yeah that happens that fed to the computer yeah everything mechanical was was was great mhm but it's like oh this [ __ ] can't even come close to running with out the the screen and the software you know it's like remember I almost bought a 1968 Dodge Dart when I lived in LA and I I lifted up the hood as if I had any clue what I was looking at but it's just like an engine and a hose yep it's so [ __ ] rator engine carburator exactly carburetor it's crazy and now literally the mechanic goes let me show you the wire and he shows me the wire it's all bitten with these little tiny rat teeth cuz they make the wire out of soy and then he takes me to the back to this enormous dumpster and it's just filled with these little electronic wires of everybody in New York that had rats eat eating their [ __ ] wow is that crazy that's crazy they make them out of soy I don't know why they would do that but maybe because we subsidize soybean Farmers probably how weird that the rats know that it's food or that they figured it out that it's food or it doesn't isn't really food but it smells like food and they bite into it and they realize this [ __ ] sucks it's an electrical wire they can eat everything though they each other I had a a rat problem in my house once when I lived in enino and uh I set a rat trap in my garage and I killed this big fat rat and I was tired I was like I don't feel like cleaning this [ __ ] rat right now I'm going to go to sleep and I heard the snap and I went out there he's a big [ __ ] he was a big the rat traps are no joke so I got up in the morning and went out to clean the rat trap and he was gone the only thing that was left was his tail they had eaten everything it was like some skin and hair air but his entire body the rats consumed they ate their buddy they ate their buddy yeah that is [ __ ] up it was [ __ ] up it it made me realize like oh God like this is the reality of what this is these aren't just rodents these are [ __ ] cannibals it's like that when that rugby team crashed in the mountains and they were like should we start eating each other
and the religion comes into play and they talk about it and they vote about it but the rats are just like [ __ ] eat it yeah they just go right to it they didn't even wait a day dude the rats in New York City have just oh yeah Co opened the door because everything was shut all the trash was out they were everywhere they went everywhere and then they still are running they're still running [ __ ] and it's not it's it's not enjoyable have you seen the documentary on Netflix I don't know rats no oh God it talks about how many rats there are in New York City eight per person or some [ __ ] something crazy like that like the biomass is similar like the humans and rats like the amount of humans there are the the weight of the humans is very similar to roughly there's [ __ ] millions of them underground they they live in these little tunnels and they just [ __ ] feed off our garbage I mean I remember before covid I would stand on the subway platform and my and my train stop and I would watch the rats on the on the tracks and then the train would come and they would Scurry because they'd feel the train coming now they just step off like an inch and the train goes right past them but they're close like they've just got like more confidence and more intell more bold more intelligence probably the food ran dry during Co so they had to get like a little hyper aggressive I don't know what I don't know what but it's yeah it's and they're eating your car such creeps I parked in uh New York once to get gas this is in the 90s before cell phones and uh I went to uh a pay phone to make a phone call and I was watching the rats while my car was filling up with gas jumping on the wheel climbing into the wheel well just trying to figure [ __ ] out just jumping all over the outside of my car I was like what what the [ __ ] that's crazy and that's the '90s that's the '90s it's like wait how many of what how many did they have then and they probably exponentially expanded so what what are they just so good at reproducing they're just that good at it huh well they're really clever too one of the things they show in this documentary is when they put poison in these like areas where these rats are they send some young stupid rat to go test it and they sit back and
watch and this young stupid rat eats it and you watch like oh yeah all right then they eat that rat that died right yeah they're clever little [ __ ] I remember I thought that's how coyotes hunted like cuz I've gol we used to golf in Griffith Park in LA and you would see one coyote and I learned like the the pack would send out one yeah go look they do it to get dogs that's how they get dogs and the dog will run and then a bunch of other ones will pile onto them yeah that's [ __ ] up horror movie sorry I put on screen on accident before rats night of Terror 198 for so [ __ ] go oh yeah it was a goofy ass [ __ ] looks hilarious it craw of her mouth it's out of mou is a good one rats night of Terror yeah they have always been a [ __ ] terrifying Animal Man they've always been actually roaches freak me out more but rats I at least can sympathize with and understand that they're like living beings with you know families and [ __ ] but roaches though I don't know man that's just the way they [ __ ] are so quiet you don't even know they're there well it's just that's the thing about cities they're just Infested by all these parasites that live off of the city you know and essentially rats you know if the city didn't exist there was no way there would be that many rats in an area yeah they only exist in a place that doesn't have anything that eats them they don't you know they've tunneled under so they protect themselves from Raptors so there's no birds that fly down and snatch them up there's no there are coyotes in New York City but there's not nearly enough to deal with the amount of [ __ ] rats that are there it's gross did you ever see that movie Dark Days about the people that lived in the subway tunnels oh yeah that's a [ __ ] wild mie Vegas right it was in New York I believe but some of these [ __ ] were like running an extension cord like 500 feet or yeah they had like opened wires up and spliced into things like and it's like you know yeah they have generators down there watching TV and [ __ ] bizarre man I mean what a [ __ ] what keeps you going you know there's like wealthy people that are committing suicide yeah exactly and these [ __ ] are like grinding I mean this is like in the tunnels man this is deep in the tunnels
and you know anyone anyone who's lived in uh New York City you look down those tunnels and you go what's down there man right and every now and then kids go let's go look oh this that's the only part of the trailer they show that's fascinating there's good monster movies that take place in tunnels too yeah because that's always like you wonder what's down there yeah it's be a good wasn't that like the strain wasn't that part of the vampire lore that they they lived in the tunnels no I don't know but tunnels are creepy man oh yeah when you cross into complete darkness this cities are creepy you stack all those people on top of each other like that and everybody's just walking down the street together and going down Alleyways and you know and then the cities today are so much safer than they ever were in the past yeah you know like who the [ __ ] wanted to live in the cities in like 1700s dude and like the this they was just like a trough for sewage and then like people would die the plague and they would just throw them in the street I know it's I I never do you live in the city now I live in Brooklyn now yeah so it's kind of like City well no it is the city but it's not like Manhattan on top of each other do you live in hipster Brooklyn I live hipster I live in bedy Brooklyn which is becom yeah it's becoming hipster that was Mike Tyson grew up that's right they gentrified the [ __ ] out of that place huh yeah I mean it's on its way it's on it it's on its way and uh it's not full hipster but are there hipsters anymore well I was just reading something like that about like the people that dress like you know they were like a like a postal employee from the 1700s I always my definition of a hipster was always like dad's money dressed like they don't have money oh okay that too but there's also the hipsters that would dress with like Curly mustaches and bow ties yeah those guys yeah so that's not bedy yet that that's Williamsburg that's kind of died off though hasn't that that look kind of died off yeah it has right it's died off I would say what's more common is the and is the gender androgyny dressing oh yeah you know that's that's a good move you can get a lot of [ __ ] that way that's a that's a big Brooklyn that's a big Brooklyn move but yeah uh
yeah it's a gr I mean it's great for comedy oh yeah walking around Brooklyn the [ __ ] you see you know last January our front door was broken didn't lock all the way it was broken for 18 hours okay no one knows it's broken just just our buildings it's only three Apartments somebody checks the door it's not locked they go up to our hallway they steal all my family's winter coats including mine okay this is heart of January so we're as a family we wake up let's go to the park let's do whatever we open the door where we kept our our coats in the hallway everything's gone so it's like holy [ __ ] it's the middle of January all our shit's gone I call a detective the cops come whatever he's like these [ __ ] walk up and down the street every night checking for every door just to see if something is broken year and a half later I've been looking for this one coat that I love the scotch and soda multi uh um color pattern coat I love it I just look it online for my coat right someone's got to sell my coat so I find it on Poshmark the coat I don't know if it's my coat but it's the exact same coat which you can't find at at scotch and sod anymore I buy it it comes from my neighborhood from a woman she sends sends it to me I put it on my wife is like that is your coat 100% that's your coat so I [ __ ] bought my coat back from the person that stole it most likely but do you know who the lady is I don't I I did a Google Search and nothing really came up and I was just like how hard do I want to fight this at least you got your coat back I got my coat back that's like the price you pay for living in Brooklyn yeah and like it's winter and I feel part of me he's like holy [ __ ] someone had to steal our coats right that sucks I've never even like right I never even thought about not having a coat Ste Co I have a coat I have multiple coats so there's a part of me that was just like come ask I'll give you a [ __ ] coat but and the part of you was like oh they're selling them online [ __ ] you that's my Cod they're making a profit like that's the difference between like the heartfelt you know compassionate view like oh these poor people they have to steal
coats then you're like oh actually they're selling it so they [ __ ] heroin money well if that that's the case that sucks yeah that does suck that does suck that does suck yeah it's a weird thing about living in large communities of people like that there's just too many variables yeah a lot of variables that are not good and like one person affects so many sure the one guy on my street that doesn't do a good job with the trash it gets knocked over the wind blows it the rest of the street picks it up that's the [ __ ] that as you get older the city starts to [ __ ] [ __ ] you up yeah and don't want to pick his trash up anymore yeah I'm this is my time is all I have I'll pick up my family's trash and my trash I don't want to pick up that guy's trash the one guy who doesn't clean his dog poo right right yeah right and you know it the little tiny poos you're like [ __ ] I know that's your dog I see that little dog he's he's sneaky [ __ ] pick up the dog people don't like carrying around those bags of turds no I mean it's disgusting it's pretty gross but gross it's also like come on yeah can't just leave [ __ ] you know the weird thing to me is the smokers cuz smokers have no problem littering that's the weirdest thing somehow that got through the litter loophole right with people that are pretty conscientious like they would never throw a soda can on the ground yeah but they'll throw that cigarette on the ground step on it like what are you doing oh someone's going to clean that like what I hope those are biodegradable the filters no right no no I doubt it I'm giving them too much crit maybe in like a 100,000 years how long does it take for a cigarette filter to biodegrade let's take a guess I was thinking it th not the best reason for it but if you just throw it in the trash you could start a fire if you didn't put it out right so that could be no you step on it all the time I'm just telling you if you just people are dumb so this is a dumb thing we we talking about they're doing it where there's no trash anywhere near them they're throwing it down in Alleyways these doing a lot of The Comedy Store all the time Comics are do it I'm like come on man dud don't do that I bet you it's I bet you it's
uh 200 years for a fil filter to say least it's like Styrofoam or something some [ __ ] it's like yeah some [ __ ] fiberglass or some [ __ ] by the way is that even better for you 18 months to 10 years 18 months to 10 years that's pretty vague yeah depends which one they're using that's AI you know what I mean oh depends on which one I'm sure they don't all use the like American Spirits probably have like hemp or something like that yeah those [ __ ] yeah hippie hold on now uh cellulose huh wait what I don't know a this is where we're getting in this weird spot of AI I was going to bring that up Google AI stuff [ __ ] up all the time look on the screen like it says 18 months to 10 years here right oh yeah I go right here are cigarettes biodegradable no they're not biodegradable they're made of plastic called cellulose acetate which can take up to 10 years to break down also leech toxic chemicals into the environment but it does break down it's not biodegradable so it breaks down yeah it's not or I it's poison it it just breaks into smaller toxic pieces yeah breaks into poison also if you're smoking a filter and the filter's got toxic chemicals exactly you're heating it up photodegradable that seems like a nice fun term they found photo but not biodegradable what does that mean trap residues from smoke including arsenic cadmium and tolon tolun who knows to this is the issue with AI I I try not to even but it's it's contradicting itself and I was reading a thing where a professor was talking about the the issues that he's having grading papers and accusing people of using Ai and then it's like it's just opened up this whole door that they don't know exactly how to deal with because you could get AI and write something and then you could write something similar you just kind of like twist it around a little bit like a joke Thief would do and then you're basically using AI to write your papers but I think AI will sell that Professor AI detection software yeah but if you do a good job of spinning the words around especially if you're dealing with like historical facts or something that's true like AI is going to lay it out for you you have to do zero research and if it's like you know just print it in that
order slightly differently I guess the bigger question is does writing the term paper serve a value at this point if AI can just do it right you know I spend a lot of time learning cursive you what the [ __ ] is that it's useless the thing is I don't it's like if you're a student though if you're really trying to get the most out of your education it's like what are you trying to do you trying to get good grades or you really trying to get educated if you're trying to get educated don't cheat yeah just actually figure it out ABS information and learn but if you're not really into that subject and that's not really your thing and you really want to get a degree in this but you have to take a course in that like and you could like spend an hour working on something instead of 16 hours yeah or if you want to be a skateboarder and you got a have pipe outside do have ai do the turn paper and go [ __ ] yeah you don't have to read that [ __ ] giant, 1400 page book well this is good this is also a bigger question about like our educ ation and public schools and like dud you're going to be in The Matrix you don't need education they're going to pla it in press a button you're going to be like fly I know Kung Fu that's what it's gonna be yeah yeah I mean I I really firmly believe that I also believe it's going to be genetic engineering so people are going to be unrecognizable I think whatever we have coming over the next hundred years is going to make the last hundred years look like a joke right the change of 1925 to you know 2025 is pretty extraordinary it's going to be nothing compared to the change that we experienced by 2125 do you think humans will always Elevate themselves and speak to a crowd for Laughs that might be the only thing we have left because we they've always said it's prostitution and com and and comedy comedy we the you know the Court Jester and the and the prostitute I curious if we think in the future that'll remain as well I hope so I hope so yeah it would suck well definitely memes memes will probably get better that's a good form of Comedy that's true there'll be some kind of Comedy there's always going to be human
Folly as long as there's humans and I don't know how long that's going to last that's the real concern that we we might be Obsolete and we might be giving birth to this obsolete thing willingly signing up for AI so if we become obsolete then that means the machines will have to also figure out how to provide energy to itself but that'll be easy they'll learn just plug this and this way better than us just mine the thing and then burn the thing and then right yeah they'll probably harness some [ __ ] we didn't even think about it'll be far more efficient no carbon footprint don't have to worry about things breaking down anymore and then we'll just slowly die off or whatever they'll put up a shield system to protect us from asteroids they'll figure that out right yeah what's that movie with where Sylvester Stallone lives in the b in the basement of the Earth or whatever Judge Dread yeah maybe it's Judge Dread and like I I am the law feel like it's all these people who refuse the advancement of Technology right there's going to be some of that yeah there be a lot of people living in the Amazon still eating monkeys but the the real the rest the rest of the electrified world is going to be very strange yeah yeah but hopefully we'll still crack jokes Michael that would be great hopefully all right should we wrap this up your book uh tell everybody my book is called cop I dude there it is thank you I the publisher is going to kill me I said I was going to present it to you on the show whoopsies we got a photo of it doesn't matter adventures and tennis and comedy lucky loser get me a copy and I'll put it out there in the bookshelf got a lot of books out there uh we should have sent you one if you don't I'll get you one um yeah so the book starts when my brother gave me a tennis racket for Christmas when I was four and my dream was to be professional tennis player and we did it but only to 864 in the world that's that's my highest world ranking turned into a chick you could have dominated that's that's the point of the book uh but it it it's uh the story is how I went from prot tennis to Comedy and it's fascinating and silly and a lot of failure talking a lot
about the struggles of being alone in both of those professions tennis you're alone problem solving and comedy you're alone in problem solving and uh well you're a great comic you're very funny guy and you've always been very cool to hang out with um and I'm really excited that you're at the club this weekend are there any tickets available I got an email yesterday from my management that all shows are sold out so if anybody wants to go the best case thing is you go and wait at the front and sometimes people don't show up which does happen especially with South by Southwest it's crazy parking and uh but uh I'm psyched I'm psyched to see you at the club I'm coming this weekend I'll come hang out and uh thank you that would be awesome and pleasure thanks for having me and uh congrats on on the club and all that's happening I appreciate thank you congrats on everything congrats on The Daily Show that's awesome all right bye everybody [Music] [Applause] [Music]