Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHiaDhgqVbc
Joe Rogan podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day this is a good way to open up the podcast cuz Jamie is an expert on all things black Twitter well what's going on Jamie I don't know it's there's a lot going on a lot of rumors are flying the rumors are that Diddy was running some kind of Epstein type deal where he was filming everybody right that's the rumors yeah I don't know that there's any proof of anything other than that the thing is like we're getting the rumors from the internet and the internet thinks that the Taliban took out that bridge in Baltimore so it's like who [ __ ] knows who knows what's real that's what Diddy's lawyers I think said was like that these are just trumped up charges not trumped up I don't think they said that but like like [ __ ] charges dude when Homeland Security invades your house you got problems with dudes with [ __ ] guns and body armor there's someone said that they weren't there to take stuff they were there to delete everything like the real people that were in there you know oh that's fun oh that's funny yeah that's F of course there's layers upon layers when you get into these [ __ ] conspiracy theories man they they never end they never end there's just layers upon layers upon layers it's fun to talk about it is fun to talk about it's hard to know what's true buts people genuinely love it when someone like Diddy gets caught though the Glee that people have is weird why CU these too successful also it's like there was always so much East Coast West Coast [ __ ] that's still like in the Zeitgeist you know like with Biggy and Tupac and they were all hating at each other and they both got killed and there was a lot going on and then there's people that thought that puffy was involved and Sh Knight was involved speaking of I think sh Knight's the one who said that thing I just thought of what thing about that they were there to delete stuff well if he really was filming everybody let me see I mean he had a lot of people at those parties right you know who said Luke from two Live Crew yeah he said he was to leave early when Luke
from two Live Crew is leaving early like you got a wild [Laughter] party what what if what's happening is too [ __ ] up for for Luke from two Live Crew like check please there's so many different stories who knows what are you going to do I'm not doing nothing we're not involved in him I was never at D's party I don't even know the [ __ ] I don't want to knowbody nobody telling jokes like I told you having fun that's it smoking dope cracking jokes making people everything else is background music and living in La you have all the [ __ ] that's going on on around you that's what I you know you have your life and then you have all this [ __ ] that goes in and out of your ears all [ __ ] day and you're like I just want to do stand that you also have those uh those celebrity environments where celebrities all get together and there's so many of them you know and these wild parties and if you got a wild party and P Diddy puts on that wild party and you know he sets everybody up like if you were an intelligence agent you know like a Jeffrey type deal that'd be the way to do it big old crazy party get everybody loose and get the get the yo get them the yo and everything else got them little everything you need get fired up get those cameras rolling and now you got everybody Under Wraps what a twisted web some folks weave you all right over there yeah you got to concentrate right that is a skill that I never picked up the roll your own skill never picked it up sometimes you got no choice but to pick it up yeah no I should have you're sitting there with reefer I admire people that do it when I see a person that can roll a solid joint I'm like that is a that's exceptional person it's like a person who could play guitar like oh you took the time there's a level of skill with it too some people can roll some nice ones oh yeah man like they're done by a machine I've seen dudes in Instagram driving their car rolling hand one hand that's that's that's next level yeah that's next level that's next level Charlie Murphy could roll a hell of a
blunt Charlie Murphy's one of those you know who else rolls a hell of a blunt Lewis Le Gomez yeah Gomez rolls a hell of a blunt and he does it the real way he doesn't just split the spliff and open it up and lick no no he takes the paper out and he makes you know cuts it like he he'll unravel a cigar and then take this the tobacco paper and cut it and wet it and get it down I just want want to get high it's like free Bas and Coke I got to run it and run it through a sock and it's got to dry no just give me the [ __ ] reefer I'd rather I like smoking blondes but that's what gave me pneumonia last summer I started smoking blunts yeah sure enough they gave you Amon pneumonia pneumonia pneumonia last summer do you think it's definitely from that it was that and as sleep what was it was a bunch of [ __ ] what it really was was had an absess oh and the sleep mask oh I cleaned that [ __ ] for 20 years dog this was I'm shooting a [ __ ] movie with Kevin and it blew oh really in my mouth as I was shooting with Kevin oh you had no idea no and I'm spitting blood and P and I'm like oh and then I started feeling sick Oh No thank God we W thank God we W I'm [ __ ] I'm like I'm not going to make it homeo I couldn't even drive I got home I went right to sleep the next day I got of them went right to the doctor and that started you know cuz doctors aren't now they send you to 20 different places so by the time you get the you know what this started with the pneumonia what they saw a [ __ ] thing in my kidney what's that when you have a kidney stone kidney stone yeah they go we got to start drinking whatever I'm like kidney stones yeah then I went to another doctor and he's like you're not a kidney stone there's something wrong with the bottom of your lung oh and there's a cyst in your heart a cyst something that kept growing over the years like a little boil by one of the valves oh Jesus all right then he sent me for another one then finally Eisenberg [ __ ] sent me to the real deal and he goes this eliminates everything when I left there I thought he was going to say we're going to put in a stint and all this [ __ ] he goes no just aspirin I just want you to go on a baby aspin really that's it he goes your heart's perfect you're good that's it my calcium score was good which was very [ __ ]
surprising you know I stopped eating bacon in the mornings yeah how come just just I do an avocado toast instead you know I rather do avocado toast with an egg and a bowl of fruit that's good that's yeah that's perfect good you know I used to eat a cheese omelette with french fries with 10 pieces of bread with butter on it so that's this works this is better this works you know that's definitely better get them healthy fats yeah how good is that sushi place you went to oh my God yuk shout out to Yuki hand roll Jesus Christ the [ __ ] when you got up to go to the bathroom there's when he dropped my rolls and I'm like who's is this it was just a [ __ ] a chunk and especially now with this new economics that Sushi's getting smaller and smaller and smalles this [ __ ] there was two hunks of [ __ ] tuna there I'm full big they give you big pieces at Yuki and the guy came from noou super sweet guy really nice you guys have put together a hell of a [ __ ] time remember we we've been coming here since 98 and we used to come here we used just go to Papa do yep and uh there was another place we went to the Mexican joint Papacitos and that's it and that was where we went for three [ __ ] days now look what you got here yeah it's like an Empire every you guys were talking in the green room last night about all the different restaurants and you guys didn't stop moved here so many people moved didn't stop you guys did not everybody had a suggestion how about this place you asked for a steak here eight people raised their hand Mexican food go to that place that's Fusion whatever there's so many good steakhouses in town that people forget you know you go uh you know you go oh you got Jak Carver is R Parry parries Bobs Bobs there's excitement down Three Forks Three Forks it's very exciting you know the last two nights the store in its Heyday like 2019 2018 I got to be honest you I would do my spots and I would have to go to the kitchen and sit in the corner by myself and I would just watch to to think that this was really happening yeah because it would assault all your like it was just so much it was celebrities yeah I remember one night half of UFC was there yeah you know like you look around there's [ __ ] eight guys in the UFC right there and you're like what the
[ __ ] is happening up here what the [ __ ] are all these people you know the last two nights I had to leave early and I you go home and you can't sleep yeah last night when you text me I was awake I got home at [ __ ] 11: I couldn't sleep from everything I was writing and [ __ ] thinking and coming on his head and [ __ ] you it's it's what standup does to you at night it's you know you cannot be a [ __ ] early riser with standup because even if you do it 8:00 show unless you're a [ __ ] mope you're thinking about that set yeah even when you're eating with your friend ha you you know where you went weak tonight even though you you did great that one joke didn't work you're thinking about how you can make it better that's what I missed I didn't miss the planes I didn't missed the hotels right I missed having four ideas and starting to get on stage and trying to connect those four ideas together and when those four ideas get connected together I'm just saying four ideas three different premises right right it's the best feeling it's better than sex it's incredible Better Than Sex and that's what I missed everything else I didn't work the agent all no well there's a relationship with the audience that's so pure cuz you know they know you like they really know you they know you from podcast they know you from your bits they they [ __ ] know you they know you from conversations they get it and then they're watching you put together this thing that's really for them it's for you because you create it and you know you get paid to say it and you you get this great feeling that you did it but for a person like a fan like when I was watching you last night as as a f like I got to see a bunch of new [ __ ] that you were do that I was telling you was killing me but it's it's a beautiful feeling it's a great feeling when someone that you really love is really who's really funny who's got new stuff and they're killing it and it's just like this this atmosphere so there's 250 people we're all sharing this moment so it's it's super positive and like alwayss it makes people feel better they leave that place they feel better and so when you know that you can do that then you get together in the Green Room afterwards you're like ah this one bit there's like
something missing it's [ __ ] there's something clunky about it it just feels fake it feels like it's too perform I got to rework it I got to rework it and then you start from scratch you figure out but it's just because you want to get to that place where the fan the audience is like yes ah you hit him with some [ __ ] they didn't see coming and oh or they get to see some [ __ ] that maybe you did six months ago but now it's tight it's tighter yeah now now it's got all these new punch lines and new new avenues that you could take it to it's the worst is when you 3 years later and you get a bit and you're like you know what I wish I could use that bit now right that bit I did three years ago fits right in here now but you like if I bring it up people going to know I'm doing old jokes yeah but sometimes just shove it in there anyway who cares just because it fits it's perfect it's funny the whole idea is just be as funny as possible yeah I got here you're always supposed to be coming up with new M material for sure but you know I don't mind when somebody bust out a old bit the other night when I got here I got I land at 11:30 I got my luggage by4 to 12 I walked out when I got in that car you should have seen that airport it was live at midnight yeah [ __ ] tons of people coming into Austin I mean I was like this has changed a lot this airport used to be a sleepy [ __ ] Hollow yeah the whole town the pandemic changed the whole town you know and then a lot of the tech companies moved here too that was a big part of it a lot of these young people just just didn't want any part of San Francisco anymore they're like we got to get the [ __ ] out who want to live there who would want to live there it's dangerous it's weird you know Elon was saying five of his friends have been assaulted or robbed five you can't lock your car yeah you got to leave your car over smash because they're gon to smash you how do you live like that yeah you you they basically empowered um mental patients who are drug addicts to just live on the street and [ __ ] everywhere and harass people and there's no sign that they're turning it around there's no they don't seem to be turning it around at all except for when XII ping came to town I told him if
I was a mayor I'd buy G Jing ping aond like when he's in town everything's clean when he came to San Francisco they they moved all the tents they put up fences so people couldn't put tents back up they cleaned the streets and Gavin Nome was like well when you have guests come over you clean up your house like what what a crazy gaslighting spin on a fact that you could have fixed this the whole time and you chose not to until the dictator comes to town you know and my criminal Hay Day I used to move around a lot and I ended up in San Francisco August of 85 I was in Boulder the cops were looking for me and I said [ __ ] it where do I go I went to the airport and I picked the spot and I go what's the closest flight here leaving San Francisco I right get me to San Francisco and I went up there and I went right to the tent the Lo Joe and it was Buck Wild I mean for a New York City kid to look at you and go you got to be careful down there I still remember in 1985 they had a place called coffee Ron that was a topless coffee place yeah with the ugliest titties you've ever seen in your [ __ ] life in there I mean they were't award-winning titties soggy they look like a puppy was going to milk on them but they had that yeah and they were open 24 hours right down the block for me it was it was a wild City it was wild and up the corner were hookers for [ __ ] miles it had a standup scene but it never had a standup scene like Boston or New York or no but it was a good standup scene solid scene Robin Williams came out of there who else Slayton uh we were just talking about him the Korean girl she's from San Francisco marim marget Cho Mar a mother had a book store downstairs or something couple funny guys came out of Frisco that's that sorry Mar the The Comedy Festival really was great of it really did a lot for a lot of com I never went to that one I did it I Quit yeah four nights you what am I doing I'm sleeping on the beach I'm paying for my own hotel and the judges are comedians from San Francisco and I'm coming in [ __ ] 12th every night cuz they don't know me these guys are coming in first you know the judges are hugging them smoking dope with what year was this that you did it 90 7ish
98 I drove home I went to The Comedy Store they let me go up and I went to the House of Blues and saw Celia Cruz instead of [ __ ] be I left Thursday night House of Blues used to be the [ __ ] the [ __ ] we used to go across the street and watch killer band [ __ ] unbelievable for freak just walk in come on over yeah they just let us in it was amazing I went to see one of my mother's friends that my mother's friends with this Cuban Dude patato too they're huge in Cuba and he was playing there by himself he had to be like 70 before I forget what is your cousin's band in Cuba that band Emmy Alonso Emmy Emy Alfonso she had some new [ __ ] she was just here she came down for I wanted to put him on the Spotify list this [ __ ] is banging she came here for [ __ ] South by Southwest really yeah she was in South by Southwest how do you spell m e m e e m m y e m e e m e a l f Alonso a l f o NS o me got it bam there it is can you believe that's my family up there the Instagram shot at the at the top what's a good song that I should put on the Spotify playlist that's my family bro that's my legitimate [ __ ] family that guy on the far left is my mother's brother that's his son that owns La faaria in Cuba the big Club where you go to that's his sister and that's my aunt wow that dude is 80 years old and he's still a musician plays congas wow you know the whole [ __ ] thing Emmy lives in no eki the guy with the dreads my cousin he lives like in [ __ ] Germany or some [ __ ] really yeah he don't even go to Cuba he goes to Cuba to pick up a check or something are you is he allowed to go go in and out you could he's a band member oh okay he says he's playing a band and [ __ ] give me a what uh what song should I pick oh my God playlist how's keep your head up no the one that you really liked that time was the one when she's walking which one's that I forget all right let's all screenshot this I'll come back to it later I'll put some of them on the spot for and while I got you can we look at the car oh yeah St in the movie with the Jamaicans Jamie uh Joey screwhead Jamie said he had a 69 Mach One I didn't say 69 I didn't know what he said Mach One Mach One he said Mac and I was like that's probably Mach One it's an old muscle car right yes
sir it's probably the okay that's a 70 that's a 70 I like that show yeah it's a nice car how fast is that oh it's fast as [ __ ] they hand like [ __ ] but there that's the 69 that's the one John Wick had uh the 70 it's not not quite as good looking but still great [ __ ] car I forgot about this scene oh they crushed it with two trucks damn it I forgot the name of this movie but it's God awful Mar for Mark fet screw face this movie is so bad it's really bad and then he kills him then his brother he comes back from life I'm like all right that's it he kills him and he comes back from the dead right screw head screw face or something yeah oh he lights up on fire and he has to escape this is so dumb this is skinny Steven Seagal these are at least more believable mus movies until they went completely sideways all right he's going to sneak out he's going to get out and the guy with the tractor never crushes him godam Tom sigur's got to stop sending me videos Tom seura sent me this video this dude smooshing somebody with a tractor running running the tractor right through him I don't want to see that [ __ ] I don't want to see it either but Tom sigura thinks I do every day we freak each other out I find the worst [ __ ] that I see on Instagram by the way Instagram is wild right now I mean buck wild with murder and animal attacks and bombs exploding on people and terrorist attacks and riots and it's like you can find everything on Instagram now and these are accounts that I don't even follow so they know my brain is a mess so they're just sending me the the most horrible [ __ ] and I just get it all day long I saved one just for you the only F we we could watch it the only [ __ ] thing that amazes me about Instagram I don't know what's going on but but if you go to like look this section here will break it down for me the explore section like this one search uhhuh that there yeah I still can't put together when these women are they hookers are they just showing their bod first of all some of them might there look at this one yeah that one like that fake babies they got fake babies so they pull their tits
out to breastfeed fake babies so it's like a hack so they can what's that Lincoln bio yeah you go in that bio bam and then there's a in probably an only fans and let's see 18 plus yes we are all right and then love me it's a different one this I'm it's a dating oh you're done you're done you have a a virus on your computer right now we need to blow up that computer we'll take that computer to the range fill it full of lead like so they just rope you in they get lonely lost guys and they see this girl breastfeeding a rubber baby and uh they dump I mean that's how Andrew tapate made all his money how many they on this page though coming in hot bunch of titties lots of lots of titties then they got the other girls that flip the camera around and show their monkey and then show their face and I can't figure out what the [ __ ] that's about either I'm like why are they doing this why they they show their face and they flip it they show their underwear monkey and then they flip back and they start talking to I'm like why are they doing that only fans yeah they're trying to get you to go to their website or only fans F or whatever that website was it's just a bunch of girls that get hired I'm sure I'm guessing but this is what I imagine they get hired by an agency or some company and they uh they put a fake name to them and uh they say link Inn bio you go to link in the bio and you go to some porn site or you go to some dating site or you go to some only fans type site and lost guys who don't have any money and or they don't have anybody with them they're sad they give up all their cash they they get hundreds of thousands of dollars off these dopes and the way Andrew Tate was doing it he would have the girls sit in front of the keyboard typing with their tits out and then him and his friends would be over on the side and they would be typing all the [ __ ] because they knew what the guy wanted to hear so they would type all the things for the guy and the guys would just donate money and they were making millions millions that is crazy yeah it's crazy but you know it's one of those things where there's certain kind of scams where I think they should be legal like
tell evangelists like late night preachers yeah it's so obvious it should be legal like if that if they're getting you with that I don't have a pro I don't I've never called for like the Banning of tele evangelists like you know when they're like God told me I need a private jet there's no way I can do the Lord fors Duty flying commercial and these guys they'll [ __ ] sell it they'll sell it this one guy was telling people that if they're broke if they have no money if they just send whatever they can everything they have God will bless them with 10 times more he just kept saying that so he was trying to get people that would literally had nothing and if you send me the guy in the $5,000 suit with the big pinky ring if you send me your money whatever you have left God will bless you 10 times over I don't believe the Banning of anybody who could take money out of your pocket do you know that because if you're that [ __ ] stupid it's like who raised you it gets to a certain level where I'm like okay wait a minute like Financial Market stuff like when when people are pulling stock schemes and pumping dumps and things like that yeah that's different that's different that's different then then you're you're actually getting no I'm not talking intelligent people like Bernie maid off you're actually getting intelligent people that [ __ ] rob you yeah they just trusted you I'm talking about like when an African sends you a text message and says [ __ ] come bail me out if you send me 500 you're going to inhale inherit $80 million you know how many people get every year 60 Minutes has a [ __ ] expose yes about some African that's taking money from [ __ ] people and they keep doing it it's speaking of which I should probably bring this up there's a lot of people that are getting emails from a scammer saying that they're being invited onto this podcast yes they are yeah a dear friend of mine keeps asking me what the [ __ ] is this about yeah hundreds of people I don't know how many people have been contacted and it's more than one account that's doing it and I think it's some sort of a scam to get your Facebook information or some sort of information or credit card information or something don't do it don't do it don't do it we we will never ask you for anything like
that and if we contact you it'll be obvious it's it's it's obvious also that whoever the person is writing these things at least in the ones that been sent to me it seems like English is their second language they don't seem to know exactly how to phrase things in a way that an American would phrase things so it's it seemed a little obvious to me that it was Shifty and a lot of OB obvious to a lot of other people but bunch of people sent him to me okay yeah cuz I had one I was going to show you I think I erased it he sent it to me yesterday and he was like yeah ask them they keep sending me these [ __ ] things from The Joe Rogan Experience he doesn't know yeah it's just scammers you know they reach out to you through Instagram or you know they find out you follow me or maybe I talked about you on the podcast or maybe something like that and then next thing you know you get a letter yeah you know there there's scammers out there man I mean the the Nigerians are the best at it I mean that's where that's where it was invented they're the best at it they are the best when did they first start email scamming people probably right after email got invented like when was the first Nigerian prince email scams cuz it's always like I have all this money but uh I need like ,000 0000 to get it out if you help me get it out you get 10 million I can't get mad at you for something like that cuz you look at that and you giggle you look at that and you giggle any of that stuff online you have to look I don't press nothing online if you send me a a Facebook message and I clink on something I don't click I don't touch it good I don't open when that [ __ ] starts happening when things start popping up turn off the computer I hit a button that I should not [ __ ] hit [ __ ] you I don't go into any of those things even friends of mine that send me [ __ ] I'm busy yeah you know if you that's smart yeah they used to do this by letter really I mean this is not a when did it start the 1900 wow the Nigerian started in the 1900s I I wouldn't know that I wouldn't 1910 yeah the origins of the Nigerian prince scam date back to 1910 when it went by another name The Spanish Prisoner
Swindle oh back then victims receive a message as a letter in the mail rather than on the internet but the same basic structure between the two scams remains between both scam remains scams remain the same The Spanish Prisoner Swindle centers around a wealthy foreign nobleman who's imprisoned for political reasons the nobleman claims to know the location of a lost treasure and that he's willing to share this treasure with the victim the problem is he's in prison and needs the victim to send him money so he can bribe his way out wow interesting there's always been people like that but you know what the problem is the problem is the a like there are people in this country what did what was the number that we we googled that have a IQ lower than 85 it's pretty high like 15% 15% so imagine 15% of people that you could basically trick with anything get them to join a cult get him to sign up for some [ __ ] telemarketing Swindle do you think it's IQ or do you think it's IQ is interesting right because IQ doesn't necessarily mean intelligence because it depends upon your education because some of uh the questions in IQ tests are predicated on uh a knowledge of math and understanding of like how to do equations and certain things that you learn in school but there's intelligence that is social intelligence int in terms of being able to see what the problems are in a certain choice you make or what the up benefits are of a different choice there's like there's people that are strategizes and they're really good at like business they're really good at figuring people out they're really good at figuring themselves out stuff there's there's there's an intelligence to that so the problem with IQ in my mind is I know a lot of people with very high Q's but their life is a clumsy mess so it's like it really is dependent upon what is the mental horsepower you have and how are you applying that mental horsepower are you Gary Clark Jr and applying that mental horsepower to music and you're a genius but you're a genius in music or are you Lex fredman and you're making you know artificial intelligence and working coding robots are you Elon Musk you're making spaceships like what are
you doing with this intelligence so IQ the there's limitations of it but at least it's an indicator of how smart a person is it's an indicator it's not the it's not the only indicator there's other factors that I think are much more intangible they're much harder to to measure and weigh that's my take on it I think it means something I think if your parents opened up your eyes something it you know it's like I do that bit and it's true I really do I'm mad at my guidance counselor I really am deep down inside because you know he was telling you all about those job possibilities and college possibilities but you know what he forgot to tell us about New York being right across the river and all the possibilities you had over there I wouldn't I would have done this [ __ ] earlier you mean standup everything I would have tried anything earlier the thing is no one's ever going to advise that you take the riskiest chance in Show Business no one's ever going to advise that you I didn't want to be a show business guy but I wish you would have told me you know if you want to take acing lessons you go to the city that's show business I didn't know I didn't know that [ __ ] when I'd watch a movie I thought you just walked on the [ __ ] thing and they gave you a part listen how stupid I was when I was young it's not stupid it's uninformed I thought when standup did a special I thought he just showed up and they had a camera and he goes I'm ready and that's what I thought I didn't think any you know I didn't really know I'm that he didn't open up I see the kids I grew up with you got to see the people around you and some of us saw some things and some of us didn't some of us saw a path that was different than just getting a job and working 40 years and getting a watch you know I don't think they opened up our minds to that stuff but there was a lot of stuff that we didn't in my house she would [ __ ] tell like my mother was crazy when I was six she would put a [ __ ] gold chain on me that belonged to a man and she'd make me put it out and she'd go I want you to walk the streets like that so
somebody [ __ ] you you you you know I mean and I would now I think about these stories and I go what was she doing right why was she getting you to go outside with a valuable piece of jewelry r on your neck a little kid I remember one night I was getting ice cream on 88th Street and the gold chain was hanging and when I went to get the the comb from Mr Softy he goes that's a nice chain and he looked at it my mother was watching from the window she was like punch in the [ __ ] face I'm like eight I'm like eight don't let nobody touch your face like she was they she just did things you know like don't go in a car with people like just general [ __ ] that they uh banged into your [ __ ] head well that's good all that stuff's good I was out there like I was out there every [ __ ] day you know different kind of intelligence right Street smarts absolutely ABS [ __ ] lutely and it's also informed you're informed you're informed about the dangers of your environment and some people if they grow up in the suburbs and they go to really nice Schools they're lost in those environments they they don't understand the rules do I'm worried about kids today you should be listen my I didn't know this I just spoke to somebody in my old neighborhood and we were talking about something they go you should see the neighborhood at 2:30 [ __ ] you can't drive and I go why she goes McKinley School where I went she goes the parents pick them up his cars I go what are you talking about we walked those streets home there was just three it's a block from the the neighborhood she goes not anymore those kids don't walk those streets at all and they live right there yeah I mean it's not like across town like you know you got to get those kids out yeah they got to get out of the house for sure got get them out how many kids are just at home playing video games oh it drives me [ __ ] crazy when my daughter goes knocking on people's do and they're like no well they're inside playing video games you know it's SE 70 [ __ ] degrees out and I just called Mr Softy he's on his way the [ __ ] yeah I got Mr softy's number in my neighborhood first time I met him I gave an edible and he's like where you at and I told him does it ring does it ding ding ding ding ding but he comes too early he comes at 4: people still
you know they're still at work but when that [ __ ] comes Mr Softy I would give him Edibles those ABX Edibles and tell them put them in my milkshake and he blend he Blended in the milkshake that's hilarious so you know intelligence yeah like I know a lot of people are [ __ ] smart but they make mistakes yeah they make big decisions you go what the [ __ ] in your life you know relationship decisions business decisions yeah friendship decisions it's intelligence is complicated it's very complicated but the point is some people their mental horsepower is very low it's not a matter of what they apply themselves to it's a matter they don't have the resources their brain doesn't work good and I've met a lot of people like that and I know you have too where you're like this guy ain't never going to be a genius there's like there's no inspiration in him there's nothing enthus he doesn't have a thing he's really into doesn't have a thing he likes he's just dull dull-minded for whatever reason I don't know if it's genetics I don't know if it's the just a roll of the dice or maybe the way he was raised I don't know but some people just they don't have a good brain they just don't so those guys they get that [ __ ] Nigerian prince email like this is it this is my ticket out of here they start [ __ ] scra craving up coins putting quarters and rolls bringing them to the bank I believe in faith like if you're broke and you go put $2 on a pick ticket because there's a$ 175 billion I believe in that I believe in all that type of stuff Joe but that's the biggest scam in the world what's that the lottery well I'm not talking even when I was a kid the numbers it's three numbers you put $5 you win 2500 bucks okay in those small you know in the' 70s and 60s and the black communities the Spanish communities Italian communities Italian communi that's a way of Hope yeah your Sicilian grandmother wakes up on morning and says oh my God I had a dream about Peppers yeah okay peppers and all sudden your grandma hug grandmother yells Peppers that's 68 yeah you know and all a sudden you like put a prefix on it 568 and you know this is your trip to Italy mhm this is your trip to buy this is your chance to buy your son a car it's like that little fate that you MH but
it's something that you have a chance at it's fun too it's fun you know the problem is the problem same thing is the problem with drinking same thing is the problem with everything else is that people lose their [ __ ] minds it's an excess and then it becomes everything I told you about my grandmother right with the numbers yeah yeah wasn't she a lone Shar to us she went to jail my grandmother went to jail for 6 months cuz she wouldn't rat out the the people that were running the numbers yeah yeah we go to visit Grandma where's Grandma Grandma's visiting Aunt Josie like at Josie for 6 months it was ridiculous yeah she was knitting for the [ __ ] guards in prison she wouldn't rat they so they put her away for six months for book making yeah that's so those immigrants those people with dreams I see that but somebody just [ __ ] calling you and going hey if you lend me $5 or 10 evangelist whatever the [ __ ] you're saying do I'm even like and I hate to say this in public but I'm down on like [ __ ] Charities and [ __ ] well they don't get the [ __ ] money either unless you donate to St Jude or something like that you know some guy's driving a BMW and the people I sent the money to you know and it's happened to us we saw it we gave money and nothing happens and you're like what the [ __ ] guys so now you just give it direct have you ever seen those charts that show like what the the money go give to charity how much actually goes to the cause how much of it is just overhead it's in some it's like 90% rid it's ridiculous 10% of the money goes to the Char it's a very inefficient thing and then you have things where the people that are running it are making enormous salaries and then they're like look at the black lives matter thing where the the girls are buying $6 million houses like what the [ __ ] are you doing the [ __ ] are you doing what are you doing like oh we use this for events it's just that happens with so many Charities and so so many charitable organizations and then there's charitable organizations like there's foundations that are set up just as tax breaks so there's like tax breaks involved if you have a foundation that's a charitable Foundation that works towards good causes like maybe climate
change or maybe you know something along those lines Health you know the global health and then you get involved in that it's a nice way to avoid paying taxes you move money around you put money in the foundation you kind of move it around around you know it's these guys that are involved in charitable organizations the the thought behind it is beautiful like wouldn't it be great if people donated all this money to charity and we could fix a lot of things but what you're really doing in a lot of ways is you're pumping up the business of these Charities and then they pump up their advertising Revenue they pump up their social media profile their campaigns they're this they're that and then they get co-opted they get co-opted by company corporations pharmaceutical companies different mandates and narratives that they'd like to promote and next thing you know charitable organizations are a part of the propaganda machine and it's all being funded by enormous amounts of money and most of that money does not go to the actual cause itself it sucks have you ever seen the charts I see pull up a chart of what where the money goes try to find out where the see if there's a good chart that shows like various like Red Cross all these different to a nun once when I was going to Catholic school and she told me that when people are looking for you for help like when they're on the side of the street and they're asking you for help that could be Jesus in Disguise so it [ __ ] my world up so I started donating as a kid the first person I donated to was the black kid with the Flies on him that they sent you the picture Yeahs he wrote a letter in Kennon had that bit about it and then I never got nothing after that I'm writing letters nobody's writing me back I want to know that the kid made it to the sixth grade I was so [ __ ] pissed as a kid and then I would do the Heart Association Walks Like That was my [ __ ] and trust me I scammed off the top I'm not going to lie to you cuz I would go to my mother's bar and I'd make him give me like 10 bucks a mile come on right you know I I would show up with like $3,000 and think I was a good kid finally like after like the third year I'm like they're going to get light this year I'm making $3,000 [ __ ] dollars
here so look at the Red Cross what's that I had it on a better website that wasn't too bad it's pretty small though okay let's see what we got here what percentage okay so this shows you all the money that comes in and how much of it actually grows to programs and how much of it uh goes to Administration and how much of it goes to fundraising so Red Cross looks pretty [ __ ] good Red Cross shows it's like 90% of the money goes to programs only 3.5% goes to administrative and 6% goes to um fundraising so this is what we donated to remember when we did those shows in San Diego right after the fire and I'm like we can't take money from these people they just had this massive fire let's just donate all the money so we donate the money to Red Cross because that seemed to be the best one St Jude's 72% and then it gets when you start going down the line it starts getting sketchy oh these are most of these are this one they're pretty good Wounded Warrior wounded is a little weird 34% back into fundraising yeah but you know they still at least 60% of it or close to 60% of it goes to the actual programs what's the worst ones though J yeah that the worst ones was a different chart these this is a different chart I want to see the worst ones those are good ones Red Cross has always been thought of as one of the best ones worst ones I think in terms of the amount of money that actually goes to the cause these are mostly UK Charities though uh do they have American ones or worldwide ones let's see that one that just shows where what people are spending on the worse in terms of the amount of money that goes towards the cause the top 10 worst charities it says kids wish network is number one disabled police officers 4.4% goes to program expenses and 94% goes to professional fundraising fees that's crazy disabled police officers counseling center 94% of it goes to fundraising fees that's Bonkers these are in New Jersey New Jersey right away you're like oh okay I see what's going on look at the cancer survivors fund hey they survive that's their [ __ ] that's what
they get 9% goes to programs 87% goes to fundraising and they also I think a lot of times they make their name something close to like the good one like there's probably a really good firefighters Foundation that's not right and they call themselves the firefighters charitable Foundation yeah only 7% goes to the program 85% goes to professional fundraising fees what does that even mean professional fundraising fees but a lot of them are like that but you got to also think if you're gonna run a charity you got to pay people something kids wish Network look at this they raised 127 million they paid to solicitors 109 million and they spent percentage on Direct Cash Aid to the actual kids is 2.5% 2.5% look at the Cancer fund of America less than 1% went to the actual thing Direct Cash Aid but when this is Direct Cash Aid and paid to solicitors who's the solicitors who counts as a solicitor there does that mean paid to the organization and then they only pay out that much to the people soliciting costs that be probably trying to buy raising yeah over it's overhead it's everything right mm yeah so it's mostly a scam look at the [ __ ] International Union of police associations look at that one that's the reason I quit 0.5% that's why I quit that's crazy I work for the cops that's when I found out three years I work for the cops doing donations on the phone after I got arrested I saw it in Boulder and when I went to Seattle I did it there and then up in Seattle I found out what the cops were getting I'm done I'm done you give me 50 bucks I'm giving you a sticker for the back of your cars when you get pulled over they know yeah that you donate and these guys were showing up in Maserati every day they're two owners and I'm like [ __ ] you it's like the thing in LA with the the homeless you know [ __ ] Noir sent me H to that he he told me they they were getting like six figure salaries like no way and some of them are making 240 Grand a year yeah no no taking care of the homeless that is not being taken careed of they're not they're not doing anything about it no they just they have to keep the business
rolling too that's the thing once you have 20 30 50 whatever people making six figures all that money keeps coming in you have all those mouss to feed all those mortgages all those PE that now you have an industry now you have bureaucracy and you're never getting that back no you'd have to have some crazy dude that comes in like uh who's that guy from Argentina the guy that just became the president of Argentina with the wacky hair that guy's amazing he's like everybody out everybody out he kicked out every body he cut that budget down to nothing nothing yeah he got rid of all the [ __ ] all the [ __ ] it's really crazy when I work for the cops I would you know I loved it it was great I had a great time in that office I'd be up there smoking dope but with the cops n it was like one cop there he didn't give a [ __ ] I'm over here raising money for you but even he was on the scam you know it's like it's come on man when you have money that's being donated like cash that's being donated it's just it's going to get moved around it's like you got to help these [ __ ] people out you know and look at now you go when I came from Cuba when I was a little kid to learn how to do anything the reason why I learned how to do anything was because of the Police Athletic League I swear to God yeah everything shooting fishing in Central Park boxing program you know you shot pool who you think shot me at a shoot pool really Police Athletic yeah right on there 88 in Amsterdam it's a smart move so I was always indebted to those people always in my heart because I was a Spanish kid they took me in over there they fingerprinted me they take you to the precinct you shoot a 22 they give you the target oh wow your little thing they give you like a little badge you know and you're like ah and so I always wanted to work for them like that was it I always you know and then after I got in trouble I'm like you know I owe a debt that were very good to me I was I was the guy that [ __ ] up so I always work for the cops I always tried to don't you know get [ __ ] people to donate for stickers or you know uh bulletproof vest and all that [ __ ] and then we would do comedy at the benefits in Seattle even though I got arrested six times it never worked they didn't
[ __ ] do anything for me maybe you would have got arrested a lot worse a lot worse but it's crazy when I found out I was like I'm out I'm not doing this and now you know you want to help out something happens Hurricane Relief and you're like I'm not right I'm not doing it I'm not doing it cuz it's you know right and you feel like [ __ ] I rather see somebody give him a 20 some guy's hungry yeah just go give him a 20 I'm going to give him leftover food or whatever just give the guy a 20 making his own decisions if he wants to snort it or buy fent and all go I don't give a [ __ ] you know it's not my problem but I did my job the Red Cross seems like a good one but also wasn't the Red Cross one of the people that was helping people map out the way to illegally enter the US wasn't that uh one of the things that the Red Cross was doing Google that but that could be also that the Red Cross is a legitimate charitable organization and it realizes that these people are going to do this no matter what and show them the way to do it that's safe if they're going to do it they're going to do it I mean they're do it showing them the way that's safe to me seems like you know like almost an ethical thing to do if you know that this is happening and then providing them Aid along the way so they don't die that seems like you know the whole immigration thing is very complicated you know you came from immigrants I came from immigrants or my grandparents were immigrants but it's just the way they're doing it where anybody can get through is so wild so the Red Cross has provided Maps migrants uh traveling towards the US border now what is the reasoning is the Red Cross giving maps to migrants the map in the social media is real different versions have existed since at least 2018 and some have been distributed by the international Committee of the Red Cross the icrc is a Consortium of Red Cross agencies including the American Red Cross the map is a part of an informational safety pamphlet provided by Aid organizations including the national Red Cross societies to migrants
traveling to Central America the pamphlet also includes res ource information like where to find food shelter and medical assistance while the map has been around since at least 2018 American Red Cross partnered with the Mexican Red Cross and others during the covid-19 pandemic to Pro promote these safety materials the Red Cross logos appeared across the top of the map the American Red Cross logo was removed in 2022 after the covid-19 partnership expired current pamphlet containing the map shows the current partners are the National Red Cross societies of Mexico guatemal hondu us and El Salvador does not seek to encourage or discourage migration but rather to contribute to migrating the vulnerability mitigating the vulnerability factors of this population during the migratory route I can live with that I can live with that live with that that's fair yeah that's not encouraging people to do it that's saying they're doing it let's let's make it so at least they have like a safe way to do it listen man this migrant situation has turned everything around from New York City Chicago La they're everywhere you know and yeah tax money and New York's giving you $10,000 now an ATM card right they give you $10,000 for your mic something along those lines yeah you know and I don't know um there's a lot to say like you know look at the our [ __ ] vets how they get treated look you know so I'm going to send you this Jamie see what's going on in Paris they uh they started they were trying to kick these dudes out uh of the country they started a riot at the airport who are they trying to kick out uh illegal immigrants I'll show you Jamie I just sent it to you yeah and they're like no we're not going they're like you have to go there's too many of you like no [ __ ] you we're not flying and they started a ride at the airport they were trying to deport him and they like uh-uh we're here listen all I remember is one thing Joe and I use this and I'm not saying nothing bad about anybody I was look at this give me the V [Music] this is a fullon Donnie Brooke at the
airport they're beating up attendants security guys are getting [ __ ] [Applause] up just wild [ __ ] man so they got them over there too they're try yeah they have a lot a lot a lot of M migrants in Europe yeah it's it's basically it happened right after the pandemic in Mass it's just massive amounts of migrants in Europe massive amounts of migrants here it's almost like it's on purpose if it's not on purpose what a coincidence but it just it seemed like there just wasn't migrants coming in but what I was telling you before was I think I told you last time I saw what the mario Boat Lift did to my area Hudson County not in 1979 but I saw it 5 years later and then I saw what they were doing in San Francisco when I got to San Francisco 95 there was a huge Cuban population when they San Francisco so this is the people that took off from Mariel in 78 79 when Fidel kicked him out yes he kicked out 160,000 people we didn't have records on these people so we didn't really know what they were about they could just tell you I worked in construction you know and they didn't know so this is that but 10 times right that was 100,000 people 200,000 this is 8 million or something like that yeah right that come through at least you're not going to feel this today you're going to feel this five years from now well they could feel it real soon depending upon who the people are and why they're here you know the the most uh troubling version is sleeper cells the most troubling version is that there's military cells that exist here terrorist Chinese were coming in and now they're growing weed are they Chinese Jamie go to the videotape Chinese are buying Farms you just had somebody on here that was talking about the Chinese are buying Farms here yes they're definitely buying Farms what do you think they're doing with those [ __ ] Farms raising [ __ ] Sushi no they're [ __ ] growing reefer Department of Homeland Security memo first reported by the daily call caller received as a part of the Freedom of Information Act request said that more than 270 unlicensed cannabis cultivation sites in Maine were operated by Chinese Nationals who the [ __ ] you think you're
dealing with Joy B wow 275 growups in Main and the weed is on fire up there in New Hampshire is it they say that's the best weed right now New Hampshire really New Hampshire somewhere up there New Hampshire Maine they say the weed is so [ __ ] strong H H see that look at that yeah they're growing [ __ ] re so what is the legalization of weed in Maine is it legal there not sure brother it's legal in so many states now yeah Maine New Hampshire I think how much cannabis can I possess adults 21 years of age or older can possess up to 2.5 o of a combination of cannabis can Canabis concentrate and cannabis products including no more than 5 G of cannabis concentrate how many plants can I grow Mayers can grow cannabis for personal use that's reasonable is that your phone no something's ringing that's you bro it's ringing like a phone phone you get the old school ring on there you pick that yeah yeah and Jersey's buck wild right what do you mean with weed I just started going to weed stores in January I said you know what I got I'm done with laughing gas I gotta expand my Horizon see what's out there and the first one I went to was a Neptune and they're pretty impressive it's big [ __ ] joint I foret the name of it was pretty impressive second place I went is 15 minutes from my house Jo right by the doctor's office in Freehold holy [ __ ] and that's when I discovered Rhythm because I was like listen I'm here to see the devil I don't want to know that Jersey [ __ ] Swank you know and it's everything is in containers it's completely different you know and they got I got this Rhythm 36% Jesus and I'm like this is me dog from the the I guess this is what is this affidavit for probable cause from where from the the China the Chinese thing in the Chinese immigrants in Maine it says we are in prison pre please come and save us we are here it gives the address uh no cell phones we abducted from China passports were confiscated the boss is a woman 5'2 about 45 years old no means of transportation the
manager is Asian black hair 5' 6 a lot of marijuana is grown in the first floor a lot of finished products No Escape from the house only work but no salary I want to leave here we tried to escape but failed we were beaten please come and save us whoa [ __ ] so they got slaves working making the weed in Maine yeah Shanghai yeah yeah and that shit's strong that's the [ __ ] that the Boeing mechanics are smoking isn't that crazy that there's [ __ ] crazy there's slaves in America right now growing weed for China let's see where this is going to go it's [ __ ] interesting that's crazy I saw this a couple weeks ago I read the article I'm like oh and then that guy said it on your podcast and I'm like well he said about Farmland yeah but I didn't know was uh happening like that the [ __ ] you think they're doing growing [ __ ] bean sprouts or soy Sprouts they're going for it Jack well they're controlling farmlands are on military bases that's scary and a lot of Chinese were coming through the border with these guys M yeah military age a lot of Chinese so let's see what his hand is getting played not only a lot of Chinese but they have Chinese stops where you can go and everybody speaks Chinese along the way and they have a Chinese restaurant everything's written in Chinese Chinese signs everywhere so they have like a very specific organized route to get to America and these guys all young fit guys coming to America like what are you doing like what the [ __ ] is going on here we're just basically Sitting Ducks we'll waiting yeah we're sitting ducks and there was a big warning today um Homeland Security is warning about terrorist attacks in America that's what scares me about this [ __ ] election too I'm not I'm not saying that they would do this but I'm not I definitely think they have in the past like allowed things to happen just so they can tighten up on restrictions and laws and scare people more and get people to vote one way or another scary [ __ ] we're looking at weird times my friend the weirdest right the [ __ ] weirdest and ever in your life could you ever imagine things be so bizarre as they are right now they've been bizarre for about five years now
where you just can't believe this [ __ ] you're hearing and you just say you know what I'm going to stick to my Camp I'm good here it was bizarre in 2017 but it wasn't bizarre like now no this is something different this this is insane did he getting arrested I mean just just everything just a bridge getting hit it's something every [ __ ] week every day you know Trump 480 million you know they need it by Monday I it's just [ __ ] I thought Mark Cuban would bail him out I didn't know who the [ __ ] was going to bail him out yeah how does that work I think they knocked it down to 175 billion they asked him how's he going to pay it he goes cash now he's worth 6 point something billion because of the Social Deal right it's all stock I guess right the the whole thing I'm not a financial guy obviously but I think the whole thing is liquidity how much money do you actually have coming in how much is it tied up in real estate Investments and holdings and Trump's got buildings and hotels and resorts and it's a lot lot going on how the [ __ ] can he pay attention to all that [ __ ] can you imagine running some kind of a business Empire trying to pay attention to everything dog I met him when he was [ __ ] at a football team really yeah he owned the [ __ ] generals that's how I knew herel walk in those people that's how I met those dudes when was this [ __ ] ' 85 Trump only you met Trump in ' 85 a long time ago what was he like in ' 85 hello goodbye I don't [ __ ] know it's not like we hung out I was scared of him why because it was like uh I told you when I got out of jail I was supposed to have a job selling siding and doors and Saddles and electrical equipment an indoor salesman in Jersey and when I got out of prison I go I'm out can I come take the job now and he goes I can't we're going out of business and I go what happened he goes Trump put in built something he was going to these little hardware stores like ours told us to go [ __ ] ourselves we're done I knew this in 88 what do you mean at that time supposedly he would build something it's like it's like you coming to somebody a little restaurant and going I want to build my own [ __ ] steak and you know he would go to people and say I'm going to build this and then use your Lumber or whatever whatever the
[ __ ] and since there's so much with contractors the subcontractors and subcontractors they would stiff their bills they weren't paying their bills really yeah this one on a lot you can look it up this isn't something you know and that's all I remember from Trump I met him in ' 85 and I [ __ ] that was my only thing with Trump you know if you're from New York you know who he is you've been hearing the name growing up I remember hearing about this from you actually now you were telling me that there was uh with contractors there stiff small contractors small contractors and then we go downhill you know run downhill so now I gave you all the doors I had for your project Trump just wasn't building one house with one window I'm giving you everything on the arm yeah you gave me a deposit maybe sometimes not maybe I'm so excited to do business with Trump I got such a small place that I forget everything you know whatever the [ __ ] happens yeah so that's what happened in 88 I I mean I don't know the whole story but he mentioned Trump that's all I remember from that [ __ ] guy I would also imagine if you're doing some big projects like that there probably a lot of people involved lot of people making decisions a building yeah a building he's the GC he takes bids for everything else right that's how it usually works is that what Trump does as a real estate developer I I don't know how it goes down but there's a GC a general contractor and then there's uh Windows wiring you know all the different departments you don't know what everybody's doing right you got 20 people in your [ __ ] building right that you know when you built the comedy club how many people were [ __ ] there every day yeah a lot you don't know right you don't know you're not a contractor so you don't know if they're doing the war right you know you just trust whatever so this is all I remember that was it h yeah well the the whole construction business was always ch and it was always tied up with the mob like I knew a couple guys who had uh no no show up jobs like at the Javit Center yeah just you just get paid concrete y they own concrete that was the thing the mob would make deals whenever any sort
of job was getting done they have a certain amount of no-show jobs for their guys always always that's part and you get insurance mhm and that's when when you when you arrest those guys and you go what do you do for a Liv I'm in the Carpenters unit yeah Carpenters unit you don't even know what an inch you know how to measure 6 Ines you [ __ ] yeah yeah it was a scam but it was how they avoided taxes too right because taxes was what brought a lot of them down that's what brought Al Capone down tax evasion tax evasion yeah but the other guys were pretty smart they had that the the millionaire Club the bid Club they would only do $2 million bids or something they would take 2 million right off the top the mob on every job are you [ __ ] kidding me just like are you kidding me every job in New York you know it's well known that when the little guy from Arizona who was over there with Gotti he controlled construction like that was this [ __ ] thing you know you couldn't get anything built without that [ __ ] dude you imagine if you live in New York City at that time and you're trying to build buildings and you got to do deals with the mob and you got to do deals with Sammy the bull well here's the deal like I remember in 8090 I was Roofing and the company was from Jersey and my brother-in-law and I asked him you know why'd you pick up this job and he was telling me it's just so difficult and I go what do you mean he goes take the dumpster that dumpster that they pick up every day and take off and they bring another one m in Colorado at the time was $200 that same dumpster in New York was $2,000 a day that's how inflated the prices were $1,800 different it's [ __ ] crazy that's with the cost of doing [ __ ] construction you know in New York well it was always a corrupt town like that's why it took the UFC forever to get into New York it was got to pay the right look at these people waiting for licenses yeah I know people in Jersey waiting for a license since I landed I got a license MH you got to grease 80 [ __ ] [ __ ] people 80 people you got to know people pay it's I know companies that is still waiting for a license from
La they just thought they were going to come and apply in New Jersey or in New York New York City look at New York City they had a thing they were giving licenses only to people who had felonies did you remember that in New York they wanted the ideal uh mariju medical marijuana owner an ex-convict who went to prison or got in trouble for marijuana this is his second chance check it out it's [ __ ] insane can't get a license in New Jersey that is kind of crazy but they should do something for those poor [ __ ] that went to jail for weed no should ever went to jail for we it's ridiculous no it's a ridiculous thing to put people in jail for you put people in a cage for that while especially while everything else is okay doesn't make any sense look what you're finding out now look at this guy today I got in the Uber fresh out of smoking the [ __ ] join this [ __ ] this morning thank God the guy was Cuban when he they send you the Uber name the guy's name was Antonio I go he's Cuban got in the car was in the car 2 minutes he goes oh look at you he goes what is that [ __ ] and I just gave him the canister I goes smell this he's like wow and this is a guy that's been in this country for 10 years and they said to me you know I don't know what the fuss is about this this is a magical herb yeah people don't realize when you smoke this pains go away you start thinking clearer he goes it takes time there's a [ __ ] Uber driver telling me this [ __ ] yeah and I asked him how do you know about this stuff he because in Cuba we were growing weed real it was outdoor weed you couldn't get wasn't that strong and sometimes they bring it from Jamaica that's what he was saying we were getting Cuba weed from Jamaica because you know I mean the soil is done in Cuba really well they're complaining about cigars these cigars aren't tasting the same they said the [ __ ] soil has just been abused there's no nourishment right this guy was telling me today it costs more for a pack of chicken in Cuba than what it does in the United States a gallon of gas costs more in Cuba than what it does right here now here in noron well it makes sense I mean it makes sense you you have to have infrastructure you have to have capitalism you have to have people competing that that whole communism
thing doesn't work and the thing is like the thing that the people that love communism point to they're like yeah but we put an embargo on Cuba like what if we didn't do that like what yeah it's still a dictatorship like you it's still is you get told what you're doing with your life you don't want that nobody wants that you might think that that is better because there's no rich people if that's what you're thinking you're missing everything because that means everybody's poor you don't want everybody to be poor you want everybody to have a chance to be well off that's what you have here now some people they get a bad roll of the dice they get a bad hand of cards they get a bad situation in life they get a bad place that they live and they're [ __ ] that this is true and it's not fair it's not fair in terms of equal opportunity it's not but in terms of opportunity there's no place better than right here and there's no place better with actual capitalism you can do great things you can do great things not just for you but for other people you could do great things if you people give you the freedom to do do great things but if you live in a socialist country you don't have any of that you don't get to decide what you do the state gets to decide and how do they enforce that there's only one way Force military there's only one way to in get people to follow the rules of Communism and socialism and it's always a dictatorship it's always one group has all the money and all the power and they tell you what the [ __ ] you're going to do and if you don't do it they kill you or they lock you up in jail and they threaten people and they scare people and they make people disappear so everybody stays in line and that is what people always do whenever you get a communist country if you ask any of these wacky kids in colleges give me an example of socialism that works they'll give you like socialist programs or countries like some Norwegian countries that have a lot of socialist programs that are really good countries they have really good health care really good education your ta you pay a lot in taxes but it goes a long way and they have a better Society because of it that's great but they still have the freedom to do whatever the [ __ ] they
want to do they still have the freedom to to do whatever kind of occupations they want you have you have the ability to make a shitload of money you have the ability to excel the problem is people want a quality of outcome when they don't have anything but you're never going to have that because first of all it's impossible but second of all because you're never going to have a quality of effort and one of the things that a competitive environment or a place like America where you have freedom is some people put more into life they put more into the things they do and they get more back they get more out of it and they're inspiring to other people to do the same and you see them live a rich and fulf build life and you're inspired to do the same that's not happening in Cuba bro that is not happening that's not happening in any of these communist countries go to North Korea tell me ask me how it worked out when they made a deal to take over all the farm so that no one would ever go hungry let the state control everything what a great idea everybody give up your farm to the state now you're [ __ ] now you're [ __ ] that's a beauty you know as somebody who knew the other side not from living it but just from hearing the story it makes you appreciate this so much more yeah that listen you could you could fall into place in this country or you don't need a ceiling over your income this is the greatest thing about this country it's like when I first got out there I always worked on commission Joe I don't want you hourly ways shove that up your [ __ ] ass I'm going to come here and prove myself you want me to sell cars I'll sell cars want me to sell doors or signs I'll sell them but I'm doing it commission I want the most that I could get for that [ __ ] thing right most people don't I did that at 19 I knew for me it was going to be commission work yeah and it's a dangerous Choice it's a dangerous choice but it's based on you right with the effort you put into it exactly if you want to S when I worked at Foot Locker I was the number one [ __ ] sneaker dude at Foot Locker you know and it took me a while but I [ __ ] went you know right and then when I started selling cars again I went for it because I loved it I
learned about salesmanship I learned about human nature yeah I learned that you have to mail letters to people those are the guys I know they're not going to buy a car but if you send a 100 letters three people have to buy a [ __ ] car so you're working on all numbers you know the United States is a beautiful [ __ ] place because a guy like me could write a book think about that yeah you know a guy like me could you know went to prison had you know I didn't get Social Security when my mother died CU she worked under a [ __ ] Alias you know everything got beat up on me but let me tell you what's about to happen I'm going to retire when I'm 65 collect Social Security and my daughter gets Social Security now for three years which is like 18800 a month for college or whatever the [ __ ] you know right I don't give a [ __ ] so it all came out in the wash 40 years [ __ ] later I didn't have the soci security for me because my mom used the Alias but what I'm my point is dog you can do whatever you [ __ ] [ __ ] one you saw it Joe we were talking about it today kids were coming down here with cars living in their cars and look what they're doing now because they believed in themselves you gave them a [ __ ] door and they [ __ ] took it most people are still now will my agent said nothing going to happen at all okay you know it's the same thing some people take chances some people sit there waiting for the bluebird of happiness yeah that's the other option you have in this country you can actually sit and wait for the bluebird of happiness when I came out of prison all I had to do was sign a piece of paper and I'm disabled for life I get a $1,300 check every month and some people would take that and go look at me I'm living like a doctor think about that some people would go 1,300 a month [ __ ] that's me food stamps that's me I can still take my pills I can still you know it's [ __ ] insane so insane it's the choices that you make Jo and it can imprison you that kind of money even a small amount of money can imprison you that's what scares me about Universal basic income you know people say if they gave everybody x amount of money people
could just pursue their dreams and they wouldn't have to worry about food no they probably won't no no you can't give anything to anybody we're humans we take it for granted you can't we get 10 checks in the mail for a th000 a month they cut us off we don't know what the [ __ ] happened right I'd rather not get anything what where are all these people after Co everybody [ __ ] got checks in the mail now you can't get them people to work no more right can't get people to work you go to a place that's a great restaurant or something and the first three people you face don't even know where the [ __ ] they're at right but they had to hire them you know you gave people money now they're not going to come back they're going to build ways not to come back people were living it up during Co Doug living it up unemployment this that we still had to go out there and crack [ __ ] stupid jokes outside getting attacked by [ __ ] spiders and [ __ ] thinking there's a leopard in the [ __ ] thing seriously the first time I went outside with Rich Voss I didn't know what the [ __ ] that was a bat almost hit me on stage and I told him and he goes oh you missed the other night there was a [ __ ] bear and the what the [ __ ] are you talking about there was a bear in the woods I don't know what he was talking about some bear or boar well there's a lot of them out there in New Jersey right yeah you were telling me last time but you know America's [ __ ] beautiful man where else can I felon with two strikes I got two strikes my next strike is life right they give you like 20 years if you have three strikes when have you met a guy that's done on two strikes that did anything you just give up yeah they're GNA get me I refused I told him suck my dick even when the feds were looking for me in 99 for that gun I wasn't coping I don't know what you're talking about I don't know no man I'm not doing it this is the path I'm taking I don't know what and I never got in trouble again Joe never you know comedy became you need something to get you out of there yes you know I didn't just didn't stop doing coke nobody just stops doing coke show they go to E rehabs but I saw something on the other side I saw what my friends were doing I saw what people were doing and once you you hear
about Roseanne getting the tonight's show were you there no Were You There When [ __ ] Rodney blew up the garden no to see it is something completely different when you're at the store with guys working the door getting how much were we getting 25 a shift she was paying me $25 on Sunday nights to work the door and 25 to MC that's no money but you fall in love with what you're doing yeah and you know there's a path and there's a path and when you start seeing other people rise and you're stuck as a [ __ ] addict you're [ __ ] stuck you don't know when to stop I was stuck as an addict and I got to being stuck as a fat dude cuz there was a point if my elevator broke I wouldn't leave the [ __ ] house D I'm not walking those three flights of stairs I was 450 lbs I'm not doing it were you really that big 4:18 420 I was my wife was tying my shoelaces you know I'm embarrassing that [ __ ] is wow you know how [ __ ] embarrassing that is looking back at it now people coming to visit you and J that that's [ __ ] life man yeah there's so much out there Joe there's so [ __ ] and now I could that's what I'm trying to sell to my daughter there's so much out there yeah you know people in New Jersey all they know is Florida I've never seen [ __ ] people that love Florida so much I can't stand [ __ ] Florida because they like it so much you know vacation for people in Jersey one week in Atlantic City they bust out the White Shoes then there's one week in Florida that was not going to be me did you see that cop on TV yesterday they were saying if someone breaks in your house in Florida please shoot them we prefer if you shoot them that's what we gotten to now did you see that guy have you seen it Jamie I'll send it to you I mean he's getting a lot of heat today ah is he I don't know not not in Florida I bet they're like [ __ ] yeah God bless Florida you Zen little brother yeah thank you sir it's a year ago I guess oh is it this is the same one yeah that's the guy he says yeah saves taxpayers money if you shoot home Invaders it's probably right here unoccupied dwelling felony thir seven charges total his bonds 157,500 and I want to say uh as to the person we don't know what homeowner which homeowner shot at him um I guess they think that they did something wrong
which they did not if somebody's breaking in your house you're more than welcome to shoot them in Santa Rosa County we prefer that you do actually um so whoever that was you're not in trouble come see us we have a gun safety class class we put on every other Saturday and if you take that you'll shoot a lot better and hopefully you'll save the taxpayers money hilarious that's Florida and then uh Dan santis just came out cu all these houses are getting um people are squatting taking over people's houses in New York I'm sure you've seen that lady got arrested because she changed the locks on her own house someone's squatting in her house she got into the house kicked them out changed the locks they called the cops they said they're tenants they arrest her took her away in handcuffs cuz squatters were in her own house and then there's this guy on Tik Tok that started making videos explaining to people what the laws are and how you can get into people's houses and how you can Squat and so it's a genuine problem because in Georgia there's a thousand houses right now that people are squatting in that's a that's a giant number of houses that squatters have just taken over these people's houses are the people out of town out of town or it's a real estate holding you know maybe you're trying to sell it maybe it's your vacation house who knows maybe you're fixing it up who knows but no one's living in it they move in they take over they have it now is that everywhere now it's a lot of States but it's not Florida and Florida they're like [ __ ] you like like DeSantis just had a little press conference yesterday about it he's like in Florida that does not fly you know there is no way anyone's going to squat in your house in Florida which is what people want to hear you know nobody wants their [ __ ] look if you work really hard you you get a house and you have a second house you can to use it as a rental property or whatever you're trying to make some money and then someone takes over that and the system works for them and not for you there's a big difference between tenants and squatters and if you can't make that differentiation we got a real problem we got a big problem yeah that's a big problem somebody's going to get
shot that's it 100% that's how this changes this is how this always changes some guy comes home what the [ __ ] are you eight people doing here you're not supposed to be he don't know nothing he's from Russia he don't know nothing he's an old [ __ ] guy from Iran or something he don't know nothing you in my house and they'll put him in jail and they'll put him in jail but he'll shoot those eight [ __ ] something bad will happen and that's how it changes Joe the thing is once people start going to jail for defending their own property you've made a mess You' made a mess you made a giant mess and then the criminals are going to be aware of this and they already are they already are they're two steps ahead of youal they're two steps ahead they know the rules are and they're going to get attorneys that are going to work with them and they're going to steal your house so let me ask you this you go on vacation with your wife I move into your living room you come back you're just going to greet me with nice eyes and say I don't know how that works I don't you're going to go call 911 there's a squatter here I got to get him out he's going to come go no how long have you been here I don't know we were in Europe you know whatever is that what you're [ __ ] telling me well I think some people can't physically do anything right cuz they get in the house house and there's men in there did you see about that lady in New York City she went to clean out her mom's place and there was squatters in there and they killed her all right yeah they just caught these guys young guys they just the same thing they figured out there was no one in there they broke in changed the locks whatever fixed it stayed there you know how this changes brother yeah it's always one guy that makes an example makes a big deep example and then people go well well I will think twice about doing that it seems like the only way to really change it is the law it's just I don't understand why there's so many laws that have been around for so long that when you see Common Sense Solutions like Ronda Santa saying no you can't do that stop that's not going to happen in Florida that should be every state they should say no you can't steal people's
houses that should be simple that has nothing to do with being democrat or republican it's like stealing property just like no one should be able to steal your car no one should be able to steal your clothes they shouldn't be able to steal your house it seems that's logic it has nothing to do with racism or xenophobia or white privilege or any of these dumb things they try to attach to this it's just Law and Order we have to have a set of laws that we all abide by if we're going to have a peaceful Society where you don't create victims and you don't Empower criminals and the fact that that is complicated in 2024 is so strange to me I just don't understand almost like it's on purpose like it's meant to keep things chaotic keep us you know on our heels keep us at each other's throats keep us just trying to figure out what's the next problem they have to deal with and all the while there's all this [ __ ] going on in Ukraine there's all this [ __ ] going on with green energy and Bill Gates is buying farmlands like God can I have a [ __ ] a moment where I can just relax well even the squaders thing when did this start this started coming up about three four years ago during Co didn't it or was it around before it was definitely around before but I think it has ramped up considerably as things got more woke cuz I think as things get more woke you start looking towards the rights of well they're squaders they don't have nowhere to go listen no one is in that home and no one should have a home that is unoccupied where people are homeless like okay I'm going to take a piss go ahead I'll wait till Law and Order puts out an episode on squatters and I learn more about it I'll come back and [ __ ] all right we'll be right back what did you bet Dustin you bet Dustin over uh benois syon I just looked at the card and I'm like you know it's a good bet it was a good bet anyway I like Cheeto and I like sugar so I couldn't pick one that and then all the hype around the guy and Dustin I go everybody's betting this [ __ ] Soldier so I just took a chance to watch the fights it's not like I bet all the fights I just bet I would have liked to see that fight with him not having staff he was going to have a hard Prim Time with Dustin standup anyway Dustin standup is just sharper more battle
tested Ben was send Den started off as a judo guy and he has very good standup but there's levels and I think Dustin's level is extremely high his level standup is extremely high you see that like when he fought Max Holloway he outboxed Max Holloway in that fight that was that was a big one and Max K box Max K box Maxin box a lot of people are counting him out in this Justin gagei fight you know but he's got a lot of time to prepare for this the first fight when he fought 55 when he fought Dustin that was a short notice fight he he didn't have time to like really bulk up like well I don't know how short notice it was but I know he didn't bulk up I think he just tried to fight you know just be 145 but not cut weight you know which is his natural weight class you doing that card then uh let's pull it up who what's the newer card have they announced that tell you when that is I know they have an Atlantic City card this month I saw the ad yeah that's this weekend okay that's Chris widman's fighting yeah um I think it's I think it's the first week in June yes it's uh June 1st UFC newk who's that I don't know that's not on the it's on the list it's on the schule yeah that's far ahead so here we are in March April May June it's probably not scheduled yet they probably have like tentative fight set and it probably is dependent upon who wins what and who's healthy when2 on bro this one Whitaker versus Hamza jayv in Saudi Arabia that one is gonna be [ __ ] wild that's a wild one that is a wild fight Calvin gastam versus D Rod that's a great fight too is that the only two fights that have been announced so far yeah they just announced it like last bro Whitaker versus hamzad is legit that's a real fight that's a real fight for Haman because Whitaker is a big dude he's a big I mean solid beefy 185 former Champion you know both guys started at 170 but they were cut it was too hard to make the 170 that's a real 185 as opposed to like you know they gave him Camaro Usman and Camaro didn't have chance to prepare for that he had 10 days you know that's not enough time Ian I mean I don't know what kind of shape he was in couldn't really test he's always in shape he's always in shape
always sure but famously Camaro has bad knees like real bad knees so I don't know how hard he was training whether or not he prepares the way like maybe he only like sacrifices his knees during training and then when he's not training for a fight he takes it easy so he doesn't stay in the same kind of shape I don't know but I know he was winning in the third round I mean kamaro that if that was a five round fight who knows how the [ __ ] that fight would have went and you know obviously Camaro's World Championship caliber the best welterweight of all time by most people's accounts and you know it's not enough time not enough time to get a guy like that to prepare for um kamaro uh to prepare for Haman but at least we got a chance to see what Hamza looks like against a world class World Championship caliber fighter so this is a big one this is Robert Whitaker with plenty of time to prepare the guy who is just as legit as they get just beat Paul Costa you know that's a good fight I like that how about my boy Demetrius last weekend how crazy is that how crazy is that he's so great Mighty Mouse took on a guy who's 250 lounds [ __ ] me upu I told you I'm scared of Mighty Mouse [ __ ] 250 and he and he tapped him and the the dude was heavier than him by 100 lb the guy was enormous the guy was so much bigger than him that is great when I saw that I'm like God damn he's great he is great and a brown belt yep a [ __ ] brown belt he's great at everything too so this is him going through the tournament is that what this is yeah so this is him and the giant dude look at the size difference I thought it was Kurt beta look how big that dude is this is big yeah but Mighty Mouse is so slick got him on like a trip mhm there it is and then manag to stay on top which is really crazy that's just crazy that you couldn't get him off him that's technique pretty wild that he's even willing to do this while he's competing I mean I think he's the champion over at 1fc still so he's still doing MMA still doing like highle championship fights and he's fighting in the ghee in a ghee tournament which is just nuts I love him man yeah it's just crazy that he stayed on top of this guy then he got his
back went to time didn't it no I think he tapped the guy didn't he I feel like he tapped him oh maybe did yeah here it is he got him with some kind of a choke see he's got his collar he tapped him look at that that's crazy no audience look at that that's the thing about jiu two tournaments no one's there I mean some of the best look how he rolled them too holy [ __ ] pretty wild rolled him and held he looks like he's holding on to the collar and tapping him with his collar like a bow and arrow yeah yeah amazing he's probably the best ever in terms get sweaty though I love watching that [ __ ] in terms of like just pure martial arts technique I think the best expression of martial arts I've ever seen is Mighty Mouse did you have Haj on yet hod Gracie yeah no he was looking to get on okay I'll get a hold of him cuz he was down here three months ago he was down here with hzo school somebody somewhere and one of my friends called me goes can you get him on I go it's sh all this Rogan booked you know year in advance yeah we're booked out pretty far I get these text I love watching Jiu-Jitsu is so much like comedy so much man in what way the longer you're in it the prettier it gets mhm and the you know I'm watching Tom I'm watching you the other night we're at a point where it's effortless it's second nature you know what I'm saying like it's just beautiful to see you know comedy is great the 10 year mark is great the 20 year mark something happens to you it really does everything clicks and it's like with this art Jiu-Jitsu you get in there you get beat up for a year and then one day you start doing little things and you're like oh [ __ ] this ain't that bad you know it's the same thing but once you put it all together like when we were talking about David special it's a thing of beauty man yeah it's a thing of [ __ ] Beauty that's the thing of beauty when my hands get P sweaty like that I know that that that's [ __ ] beautiful yeah it's years and years and years of working I've always loved like you went to see The Black Keys last week MH I love this I love that you're going going out and catching live music it makes my dick hard I wish I went to as much live music as you but
Jersey's a [ __ ] nightmare you know you have the Starline ballroom and [ __ ] and all I just can't you know you gotta you know the heavy metal [ __ ] I can't but I wish because that's how you get better at all this [ __ ] is by getting entertained MH that's how you that's what Mooney always used to say that's getting creative when I went to UFC fight and saw on a hit of acid and saw Anderson kick that dude in the face I went right up to room and wrote a joke I'm like this is f you know it just inspires you yeah that they're that good we used to always talk about and this he could look at you and pinpoint the shot and he was accurate that's a thing of art man it is an art what am I talking about yeah it is an art dog I swallowed like two of these zins what's going to happen I'm going to blow a Zin fart tonight in that [ __ ] Green Room yeah you're going to [ __ ] out those little tabs oh Jesus I keep swallowing them yeah don't swallow those little bags you don't want swallows what are you gonna do nothing I don't think it's going to hurt you at this point I used to swallow gum till I was 30 [ __ ] they used to say that gum gets stuck inside your body that's I swallow gum for [ __ ] years I think that's a total myth I think and once you're so deep in it you're like I'm not going to stop now now I spit it out but before I would always [ __ ] swallow it well have you seen that thing that people are doing now where they make them swallow a balloon they swallow a balloon to uh deal with their weight loss have you seen that no yeah so they swallow SW this bag it's like this little tiny thing it's about that big and it's attached to a tube and they swallow the whole thing and the tubes coming out of their mouth as they swallow it so they have a glass of water they swallow it it gets down in and then once it's in their stomach they pump it up and they fill this bag and this bag takes up a lot of room in your stomach so you get full much quicker and so that's the thing that keeps people from you know you know they overeat they get they just they can't stop themselves they they don't feel full want to feel full and so this bag you swallow this thing it's called a gastric balloon yeah what do they inflate it with is it water I don't no so they go in swallow
it take this tube I thought they were showing it for a second they were showing it and I think when you've lost the weight that you want to lose they can deflate it but then close cap my worry would be that then you have this stretched out stomach that needs to get full again dog after I asked your advice on the gastric thing and you said you look into it I really thought about it not the gastric thing just all these get health quick things yeah you know it's like OIC now did you hear what I was talking about last night on stage because I wrote that out the other day it was a stupid joke but I think that people are going to go on OIC now all right A lot of people and the fat man's going to come back stronger like what's the name of that show the 600 lb fat dude yeah my 600 lb life you know all this shit's going to we're going to come back bigger and stronger fat dudes do you know what I'm saying like you're just doing all this [ __ ] and if you just lift weights and walk a little bit and and watch yourself just a little tiny bit you know all these get rich schemes like if I go down to 265 I'll do all Zing because then I get stuck at 265 do you yeah I get stuck at 271 270 but you when you did Weight Watchers you got down low how low were you when you weight well I am now that's the lowest you ever ever been yeah 277 274 274 was my lowest weight but I wasn't lifting weights I I thought you were lighter than that no I wasn't doing [ __ ] I was walking and kickboxing no weights and now you're doing weights no you got to do the weights at this age think very important I think it's important for like bone density for dog you that sopia you lose it quick yeah that's quick yeah and it's they're not asking you to [ __ ] be an Olympic lifter they're not asking you look at all the things they're not asking you they're just asking you for 30 minutes a day of uh resistance train yeah just a little bit of something to keep the muscles going the thing about OIC is some people have pretty bad side effects and you know it's just essentially it's doing is limiting your appetite essent essentially it's doing something very similar to what
this balloon thing does and I think you can get that done with a high protein diet you can limit your appetite by just going on a carnivore diet I know a lot of people that have done that and lost a lot of weight just carnivore yeah you get satisfied way easier two eggs six eggs for breakfast in the steak eggs eggs and meat and your body just adjusts your body uh turns the protein into glucose and it turns the fats into ketones for me it just seems to work better and I know a lot of people that have had a problem with carbohydrates they start to look I had those guys do it for World carnivore month the the the comics that I've got working out at the gym I'm like who wants to commit to this en time month of January nothing but meat and they did it and they're like dude I feel so much more energetic I'm not tired in the middle of the day I'm like yeah that's like a carb crash you're getting like an insulin crash in the middle of your day because you're eating carbs and sweets and sugar and bread and pasta and rice and all this stuff if you eliminate that stuff from your diet it takes a while for your body to adjust it took me like a couple of weeks when I first did it but then once your body adjusts you just feel like you have an extra gear you have more energy you feel clearheaded you feel better I just all that meat Joe scares the [ __ ] out of me man yeah in what way I don't know I get a little iffy with a lot of meat you get iffy late at night I could probably blast [ __ ] three eggs in a yeah then have eggs scrambled eggs in the steak eggs are easy eggs are easy they're easy to digest they're they're super nutritious they're so good for you you could live off nothing but eggs eggs are great seven grams of protein yeah egg three 21 [ __ ] grams man you know not bad yeah it's [ __ ] good for you and all the stuff that says it's not good for you is nonsense it's just good for you eggs are good they're healthy does our girl like the carnivore diet who Rhonda yeah yeah she likes it but I I think she thinks that you should have vegetables too and some people do think she got eating blueberries like a [ __ ] blueberries are great she said it makes you smarter I'm eating blueberry yes watch one of her things blueberries actually make you smarter but interesting how does it make SM I
have no idea I didn't listen to it after that my attention's P needed more blueberries I love her though I do everything she says anytime she today she put a video her [ __ ] working out I wonder how they would figure out whether or not blueberries make you smarter they give you blueberries and then make you take a test and then make you take she did a survey you know her bro yeah a group or six people got together in Norway and [ __ ] blueberries for a month and the thing about that though is you have to look at like healthy uh healthy subject bias or healthy uh statistics bias because like the the people that are in that group that are eating blueberries in the beginning or to begin with are probably healthier people healthier people might be a little smarter you know like more aware of what like the the the effects of eating good food does to your body so healthy user bias is real I don't know though I don't know how they did the study but a lot of those studies are they're weird it's just you get a sense of what's true and what's not but also people manipulate those studies and they make studies designed to get the result that they're trying to achieve because they're trying to sell you something I I get very nervous when all these people are on this OIC stuff I just get very nervous cuz Brian Simpson had a horrible side effect he was [ __ ] he was wrecked he was he stayed at home for days listen from all the experience we have of everything that's come out the last couple [ __ ] days the last couple years here it says Dr Ronda Patrick blueberry concentrate increased bla brain blood flow brain activation and working memory in adults compared to Placebo concentrated blueberry juice interesting and so it improves brain function in older people let's go let's get a blueberry smoothie get the party room I do them all the time coconut water blueberries little protein powder nice Bango uh they're good for you I mean what stops that crash in the afternoon I've been getting it since I turned 58 well never slept before in the daytime now you're taking naps 4:00 yeah I mean my world ends it's the saddest thing not even reefer Edibles nothing once she gets
home from school I talk to her we look at the homework she goes to a room I go downstairs my wife gets home and at about 4:15 I can't even hear you it's not about I just got to get up and walk to bed she knows already and I crash for an hour and 4 minutes an hour and six I get up for like 15 minutes I feel like [ __ ] then I'm ready to attack 20 [ __ ] people dud the first 15 minutes I always feel shitty like man I shouldn't have slept in the afternoon but some days I have it some days I don't how much carbs you eating I eat that wheat bread in the morning and uh I really wanted to try intermittent fasting yeah I get dizzy like I get what Duncan gets like you don't eat and drive like if I don't eat and drive a long distance I'm done I get dizzy and [ __ ] I tell you what happened to my friend Tommy no Tommy Jr he um he was uh shoveling snow cleaning his uh driveway out he got called into work on a Sunday something happened and uh so he's shoveling his snow and uh you know he's not in the best of shape shovel snow heavy snow it's all the whole driveway gets done drives in his car falls asleep at the wheel and slams into a wall and he got pretty [ __ ] up bunch of broken bones yeah he's still not better those this was months ago so what was the result of the thatp from the shoveling uh yeah he just blacked out behind the wheel yeah just exhaustion you know not in the best of sh like lifting snow is not good it's a [ __ ] dude it's a real workout if you get wet snow and you got a whole driveway full of that [ __ ] and you know you're digging in and lifting it up and digging in and lifting up your legs your back your arm is there a reasoning isn't the weather contribute to that to what to that that cold when you come out like I have a friend that I went to school with and I came back and how's your dad he died shoving snow I was like well it's a heart attack thing it's exertion all right if you're not in shape shoveling snow is equivalent to doing like a hard CrossFit class if you're not in shape shoveling wet snow no [ __ ] remember we lived in Colorado yeah and the snow was light when it snowed in Jersey last time I shoveled and that's wet yeah the only thing that saved me it's slow amounts
mhm 3 in 4 in and I go out there early and get it before you get an 18 incher oh then I can't and then it gets a little warmer and then it starts to melt and then you basically got every shovel full is 45 lbs kbd posted this when he was shoveling snow this winter yeah look his heart rate's 118 1,200 calories in 90 minutes yeah 1,200 calories in 90 minutes of shoveling snow crazy work so look at that every single Smartwatch on Earth should have snow shoveling as a workout type and I don't know a soul in the Northeast that would disagree it's [ __ ] hard so if you're out of shape and you burn off 1,000 calories like my boy Tommy and then you get behind the wheel you you [ __ ] black out you know let's see if whoops got a snow sh probably didn't drink enough water I don't think whoop has a snow shoveling I think you just have to put it in as a regular workout you see but 90 minutes of work so say if you have to leave your house at 6:30 you're you got to be out there minimum 500 p.m. shoveling you got to go I got to leave in a half an hour and a half here we go so basically you have to have very little clothes on cuz you're going to sweat your dick off and you're going to be out there every [ __ ] shovel full is probably 35 45 pounds and then you look what you you've cleared four feet not even and then you got to get in there and get it off the concrete and really scrape it down otherwise it's going to melt and then freeze again and then your whole garage all the way down your driveway is gonna be ice so you got to really scrape it ice is snow a show for a living 15 bucks an hour in 1983 I would sit out there shovel snow and case the apartments the whole snow Mass Village every time people go seeing I know when they were leaving I knew the whole thing yeah we did that Newton our show was no for living man it was eight hours a day no it was a full-time job in snow Mass Village you just applied for it 15 bucks an hour insurance after 90 days it was a ski pass they [ __ ] it was a job it was a [ __ ] job that was your job not have you been to Aspen lately no it's crazy I'm going this summer it's just I could just imagine Beverly Hills in the
mountains yeah I could just imagine it's all these rich people and it's it's really weird it's not what it used to be no I know you go watch those old documentaries when Hunter S Thompson was there was he there when you were there did you ever see him yeah at Woody Creek did you go to the C Woody Creek Tavern I used to go to get weed and the nachos were [ __ ] delicious there yeah food's still great there are you did you go yeah is it still open yeah it's still open I ate there a couple years ago no [ __ ] yeah we went uh to Aspen for a ski trip and I said we got to go to Woody Creek Tavern got to go Paris p that was a place think about an 18y old kid just Just Close Your Eyes for a minute I'm not there it is and I'm talking about no yep still open oh that changed a lot dog did it yeah what changed it looks like a place now well it's a lot of photos of people on the wall when I was going in there it looked like [ __ ] a barn yeah 83 I had a friend KO Keith Korn was his name and I told him I go listen you got to deal with me I love you to death don't knock my door unless you got the best weed in town and when you do have the the best weed in town knock on my door I don't care if it's 2:00 in the morning 3: in the morning and he would come over and tell me I got great weed we got to go to Woody Creek Tavern first time I went in there now you want me to lie to you and tell you I knew who Hunter Thompson was I didn't know who the [ __ ] he is first time I went in there he was in there with Bill Murray really and Don Johnson wow all right first time I went in there I think no the second time was Don Johnson the first time it was Bill Murray I I got my weed I got the nachos I didn't say a word I need to take you know there was no pictures then and I just walked out and then on the way the guy was telling me who Hunter Thompson was then a year later one the first movie came out the first that was played by Bill Murray played him that was with a buffalo room yeah that's a good one that's a good one that's a good one and then I went in there a second time and I saw Don Johnson and that was [ __ ] mind blown he was hotter than [ __ ] on Miami Vice and then I went in there another
time and one of the nitty Diddy G Dirt Band with there with Hunter Thompson it was a [ __ ] party at there wow and I didn't I was a kid and they would tell you if you go to the uh Aspen Airport the bar Clint eastwoods there every night every [ __ ] night and I would not go up there for some reason I was just scared to meet Clen when you're young and Don Henley picked me up hitchhiking really one time I didn't I I got in the car and he had that song uh it was 83 84 so he just put out dirty laundry and he was big the The Boys of Summer yeah I'm in the [ __ ] cuz Aspen used to have a Hitching Post okay so you when you finish your job at Aspen you could just go to Hitching Post and stand out there if people weren't like this that means they were going they weren't going down Valley so if they did this to you that means they would just go into like snow mass or something like that short trip and people would pick you up all the [ __ ] time and just talk to you what's going on where you from on from there you know and the first time it was Don Henley and I still lived in balt and then Fourth of July 83 I moved to snow mass and I was hitchhiking and John Denver picked me up in the Jeep John Denver pick you John [ __ ] D Joe wow and I'm like come on this isn't no and he's like if you're not doing anything thing I'm doing the the thing that he does a charity up there every [ __ ] year or something I I didn't even know I I was just in come to the show yeah like come up it's it's free or some [ __ ] I'm like I just moved to snow M I don't know anybody then like a month later I go to kico in uh old snow Mass there's snow Mass Village and there's old snow mass and I went to Old snow M cuz the guy was from New York and he had hot dogs and I remember going there and see seen Goldie horn with Kurt Russell like nothing sandals on the girl Kate Hudson was a baby wow maybe two three four with her brother a little brother that was a little older than her maybe I used to see them all the [ __ ] time Sydney porier used to come into the video store I was [ __ ] that's when I asked Robin Williams for an autograph he told me no and he had body order he stunk so [ __ ] bad he had been in the coke thing for like four [ __ ] days oh no that was a magical
magical place for a kid at 18 it was just something different man and I did a movie with Adam Sandler and Don Johnson was in the back and I had to do a scene with him and after every scene we had to go into this closet and I would talk to him and I go I still remember you when you got chased down Galina Street and he goes you remember that when Miami Vice was hotter than [ __ ] like 86 I was an aspen and one night we were like Patty Bugattis and you see a bunch of people running down the street it's a bunch of women chasing Don Johnson wow he's [ __ ] running with his bodyguard down the street Asen [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] I can't imagine what it's like now it doesn't have that homey feeling no it's a different thing on the way out of Aspen when you made that turn out before you hit that road the 82 there used to be a [ __ ] Diner on the corner and they were known for their crumb cake and you could smell it so all you smell M when you passed that was the crumb cake and the smell of the chory mhm like the burning in people's [ __ ] tremendous like I never smelled that before like all those things were it was just I was like a kid in the candy store it had to be a culture shock too right coming from New Jersey [ __ ] and I us I remember the first month I come home and yell at my roommates what the [ __ ] did you do to me they're all [ __ ] they all say good morning and hello and you know people pulling over do you need a ride get the [ __ ] out of here like no no you can't act like that these people really want to help you so what brought you to Aspen in the first place my brother Jimmy Burke had uh he got thrown out of the Air Force Academy and he went back home to get his weights to get his Olympic weights and speakers we drove cross country he said he was going to Asen I knew nothing about it he said [ __ ] it I'll go for a ride I was 20 people were looking for me so I had no choice so I came up with like 1,500 bucks I bought the car for us to drive in the axle fell off and it was weird because he call me a date when he was leaving but I was planning on robbing this bookmaker for a ton of dop the guy had money in a like a linen closet and he would have like a register it was like hundreds in the top 50s in the second
shelf and every time I went in there he would just open up the closet and take money out and pay us and I go we got to Rob this guy so I was waiting to Rob this guy didn't want to go cuz I thought it was like a 20,000 day pay day right so I told him just leave and I'll get a plane ticket when he got to Pennsylvania the axle fell so he had to get towed back and once he came back I knew I had to go like that was my sign like I got to go he broke the [ __ ] down this guy to come back and then I said [ __ ] I went with him I took just I was 18 I had no family nothing going on and nothing to lose my cousin was up there I had a cu cousin Tweety who got caught [ __ ] throwing Coke out of a bail remember I told you that and then his nephew showed up to my show like a week later he got Coke out of a bay he's the famous guy that he was throwing the coke out of an airplane oh he lived in he lived in Aspen that [ __ ] did 25 years in America and another 15 in the Bahamian jail really and he's out now wow he's old you know he's old so I went up there and I just it was uh it was perfect for what I was just coming out of I lost my mother two years earlier I needed to [ __ ] get some traction and I fell in that place can you imagine man I just fell into that [ __ ] place pretty crazy pretty [ __ ] crazy but a good shift of perspective right you get to see a totally different way to live to different and I had to figure it out for myself and I still remember being up there struggling and joining uh Colorado Mountain College no high school diplom just walked in one day I like to take some classes if you got the money you could take them start taking six credits six credits a semester six no high school diploma math classes the whole [ __ ] thing history then I went to Boulder and I joined continuing at a boulder and one day they came to me with a letter Joe and they're like listen you got too many credits for here you got a transfer into a college and I'm like I got no high school diploma and they're like well you can't take classes here I didn't tell them that I didn't have a high school diploma and I applied for the University of Colorado on the Spanish program the some program they had you had to maintain a a 2.0 and [ __ ] garbage they gave you a tutor
really they gave you money out the ass so I transferred into the University of Colorado they kept bugging me where's your high school transcript where's your high school transfers I'll Whip one up in a second I didn't know how I kept lying for them they're coming they're coming and then finally I got arrested and I had to take my GED so I said [ __ ] it and that's how I got in when you got arrested you had to take a GED well when you get arrested you know when they were thinking about me I had to get my I had to show the judge I was trying to get my life together and that was on the list oh I see so I took the GED and then I went to the University of Colorado then I got thrown in prison you're probably the only guy that's got to college and then went back and got his GED can you [ __ ] believe that there was no computers back then they just yeah whatever it's Colorado at the time yeah bring it next time I mean you could have had fake paperwork easy back then how would anybody have known I didn't want to do that I wanted to do it you know like some everything else in my life was [ __ ] can I have one thing for myself right I have one thing for myself that's what were you planning on doing when you were going to college did you have a plan no no just take classes just took classes you know and then I went to Boulder and when they transferred me in those were real [ __ ] like classes and that's when I got locked up that was the beginning of the end for me so but I took it seriously Joe everything else was [ __ ] right this is the only thing I have that's mine that is not shitty you know sometimes that's what a person needs something that they can dedicate themselves towards because they don't feel like they have anything and there's no Direction they don't know what to do and they just you know that old expression Idol hands of the Devil's Playground that's real that's real that's real that's very real yeah if you don't have a purpose in life you don't have a direction that you feel like you should be going in you feel so lost and you can get sucked into all kinds of things and you're filled with anxiety you know and so then you escape with drugs you're trying to like find something to make
you feel better because you just don't feel good and you feel like a loser the only thing that makes you feel good is accomplishing things having a family having loved ones having friends having a community think like but accomplishing things too all those are the only things that make you feel better in life you know at that point in my life I had my drug people and my criminal people but I had a couple people that were trying to help me out you know those people that bump into your life I had a high school teacher that was helping me out I had a bunch of people and since I didn't have parents I was dedicating whatever I was doing in their name is that hard to say or hard to understand like I didn't have parents so if you helped me out when I did something I was doing it for Joe to show him that I'm [ __ ] I'm worth spending time with you know I think even comedy I love comedy I love comedy but I got out of Comedy what I wanted to become a man that whole journey of Comedy taught me how to be a man it taught you how to watch other comics and be happy for them it it's a journey of Education being a comedian it really is and let me tell you something to be a comedian your IQ has to be somewhere High there like the good ones somewhere they got to be up with there because they're not stupid no we're not stupid we figured out how to you know get to that next level and it's that was for me that was the most important thing becoming a man what is becoming a man just somebody who can contribute to society pay taxes not have to steal I wasn't looking to be a multi-millionaire that was never in my [ __ ] realm I just wanted to function first that was it I just want to be a functioning person not with cocaine you know now we were talking about something the other night 27 years I did that [ __ ] for I did more when I was clean in 10 years then I did those 30 years so you're always thinking about what you lost you know and then I lost those two years to prison and you know I lost a lot of time [ __ ] around but look what I did accomplish in 10 years it was mindboggling between a marriage a child a house yeah the career you know har story time just you got on track we yeah that was it for me it wasn't
about having a Jet Plane it was about being a [ __ ] man yeah just having a normal life being proud of yourself that's it you know I got a three I got a I got a [ __ ] I got the Beatles I got two other people one is missing I got you know you have a big home there're everything to me but I never had that right I never had that I never had you know my mother had her life and I had my life and I appreciated it because it prepared me to be the man I am today but at that time it's like that line from a Pink Floyd song you're a stranger in your own home you were Stranger in your home your parents are doing what they were doing to try to keep the lights on you're out there delivering [ __ ] newspapers you know you would driving a limo you didn't know where the [ __ ] you were going but you figured it out you didn't become stale you didn't sit on your [ __ ] ass and that's what I think a lot of Americans are doing now when I sit here and I go I did this in 10 years with nothing you know that's the thing that people are not considering when they talk about Universal basic income things like that that you need you need challenges you just told me you have a challenge you want to do something cuz it's a challenge yeah we challenge it we open up the door we we're supposed to open up the mouth and [ __ ] put a chair in the lion's mouth and sit yeah that's what makes us tick yeah is to always be working towards something yeah I think everybody wants something like there's no [ __ ] way Universal I don't want you getting the same handout I get hand out don't work Joe they don't handouts do not work they do not work for certain people they work but for certain in a mass they don't work no people going to buy stereos and concert tickets and you know that comes first even that episode of Sopranos and the chick says my phone's about to get turned off I got no food and Tony gives her money and then she comes back she goes look at the shoes I got right $600 and he goes what happened to the ah you know you got to live a little that's everybody's mind that was my mind yeah especially when you don't have anything yeah what all a sudden you have $1,200 look at the [ __ ] Jamie look at the credit card debt that this country is in right
now did you see the credit card debt all these $400 conts you think people have this money no what's the credit card debt like it's [ __ ] insane right now people are living off their [ __ ] card show since the pandemic now it's becoming second nature it's just a card I don't know if you've ever been in C debt you're never going to get out of it unless un a chunk comes into your life not your little $4,000 tax return it's got to be a chunk you're never going to get out of that [ __ ] debt I was in huge debt huge huge credit card no I got rid of all that what was your debt you know one day I woke up and I owed look at this maxed out inside America's credit card debt crisis and what we do next and this is from uh CNET says our 1.1 three trillion in credit card debt wow is shattering lives everyday borrowers share how they're navigating this uniquely American debt machine that's a lot of money man and the thing is they're giving credit cards to people that are too young to really understand debt you're giving credit cards to 18y olds no way that's when I failed no way and you know what even DG there's a lot of [ __ ] going on in colleges oh the colle when you get to now that they just you know that's the worst scam the worst scam is the Education Loans it's the worst scam worst it's the worst cuz you're you're convincing kids that this is the only way they're going to be successful in life and a lot of them don't even wind up using it and then they're settled down with debt for the rest of their [ __ ] life and there's not a lot of good options other than that it's not like there's a lot of other things you could look to like this is a better way to go like no like college for a lot of people is like the only path it seems reasonably lit like that path I can see where that path is I'm going to walk down that path and then all a sudden you're 100,000 in debt 150,000 in debt you're like and then you get a job out of college and it's for $52,000 a year you're like oh my God how am I going to pay this money off well you're not you're not you're never gonna and they and they don't stop no in the middle of my dog in the middle of my debt a [ __ ] student loan popped up really and they weren't taking no Deals they weren't taking a penny on the
dollar they wanted the full $3,000 from [ __ ] 1980 something yeah they're not [ __ ] around those school loans I have we have a friend a mutual friend yeah that decided not to get married as much as he loved this [ __ ] girl broke up with her because of her debt yeah he goes if I marry her yeah 15 grand a month yeah or something she you know it was something crazy it was something crazy like her school loans yeah he goes I can't marry into that we're never going to she has a kid in three years that's on me right well it's on you right away when you get married and if she dies you owe it yeah it's one of those deals it's on you you can get married and who knows how many what is the number like what is the number that she owed do you remember big big hundreds attorney and she started taking money and taking World trips because once you get those student loans you know so you again it's a credit card mentality I'm already in debt yeah they're offering me this and a credit card to go to Europe you know one last blast to add to the [ __ ] drama I already have and then you got to find some insanely rich guy to rescue you D I remember having no credit between you and I I didn't know what credit was okay I had no idea I knew cash I came from a cash Society first time I walked into the University of Colorado and sign those [ __ ] loan papers and that pelam paperwork I think two days later I had a credit card but a $500 limit I didn't even know how to handle it and then they told me that you just call them and get the limit up and I kept calling and then you don't know your limit's still stuck and now you have to go to a casino to have the [ __ ] Pit Boss call your Visa card that's how they always got money just give your credit card to The Pit Boss right this is 30 years ago though not now where you can just give the credit card to The Pit Boss and he could call Visa for you they come back yeah they ramp it up not anymore good news Mr Diaz you got an extra $2,000 Booyah let's go let's go yeah do you remember that scam where you would get like 10 cassettes for like a dollar do you remember that I don't go colia house colia I don't go to Indiana you never seen me do anything in
Indiana I must ow Columbia House $10 million are you stupid I don't go to Indiana that's ter Hort Indiana right look it up I still remember where that [ __ ] came from I don't even go to Indiana just I don't even want him to remember and then you would have to buy a three albums [ __ ] was it every month you get 12 for a penny 12 hot hits for a cool Penny I don't even think it was CDs back then look it says cassettes or records wow so how did they make money because everything was re-recorded so on you they took Santana albums and then put it on like a cheap cassette or something oh really like it was something so they re-recorded it Oh I thought it was no no it was real it was real music no no no it's the band I thought it was different but it's something there's a catch here there's some catch so you had to buy whatever 12 hots for a penny you had to put the penny on the paper and Scotch tape it stop right there AOL may have had the most prevalent mailin magazine based marketing campaign the '90s but a close second goes to both Columbia House which is owned by Sony and BMG which was owned by RCA it was a common site in magazines of all shapes and size to see ads like the one above which promoted extremely cheap collections of music and exchange for signing up for a membership it even single-handedly helped some CDs become hits hoodie and the Blowfish for example is said to have sold over three million copies of crack rear view through this service I was just going to try to skim through to find the yeah what it was wow I think what they did is that you would you would sign up for a credit card bill with this and then all of a sudden you'd start getting build like 20 bucks a month yeah and it was really hard to stop it there was no credit card in my day they was just send the penny you get 12 yeah I don't remember a credit card I don't remember signing up with a credit card I how a credit card you sent the penny you sent the penny there it is degraded audio quality in '94 uh stereo file magazine published a feature analyzing whether the quality of Columbia House or BMG CDs was actually much much lower than one could find in a traditional record store the belief which hasn't been confirmed was that the service was using lower quality Master tapes and on high quality Equipment one
could tell the difference but that said it wasn't confirmed lack of royalty payments here's another one go up so it says um Mental Floss notes that those free CDs generally cost Columbia House $150 each to create a fairly low amount and overhead in those days the reason why it was so low well they didn't have to pay royalties on the giveaways and made the money back on the margins in other words that Nirvana album you got for free from Columbia House netted KK Cobain a grand total of $0 wow so he didn't get paid for those so the model the company used relied on customers essentially forgetting that they had subscribed to the service and then sending random CDs or cassette tapes to people that haven't asked for them along with a bill yep same kind of thing happened with like uh Girls Gone Wild like you'd get one and then they just keep sending you a new video every month tell us more Jamie what happened to you I never paid for it but I do remember getting a few free DVDs in the mail High profits after the freebies run out after you got these cassettes and dis sh uh shipped your way the company charged high amounts to Consumers but they also kept most of the profits on the album sold mental flaw suggested the company made as much as $7.50 on each album shipped wow I wonder how much the bands got paid for those from Columbia House aggressive bill collection tactics um Consumer Affairs and ripoff record each report pages on the service and its collection agency Trident uh Asset Management that go back for Miles if you haven't paid for those CDs you got back in the 90s they're probably still looking to Shake You Down for your money Joey I didn't do them in the '90s I did into the 70s long time ago you know what I'm saying I still remember the album I got you know what the [ __ ] first time I got from Columbia House was what byebye Miss American Pie Oh Don whatever his name was was it it Don what was his name I forget that I got like her miss American John M don mlan don mlan don mlan I still remember that one I bought like uh one other one Santana brais that was a song that would come on
at parties and everybody just start singing yeah this would be great [ __ ] song great Jam yeah what else Tyson Fury have the entire audience sing that after one of his fights I think Tyson Fury sang that [ __ ] song an entire audience dos jump up and down which one the one by Neil Diamond they have the new commercial with a bunch of black people Mexicans in a bar jumping up and down and I'm like black people Mexican will never jump up there songs they that's that guy [ __ ] drives me crazy said it too fast I'm like having a mind blind right now but it's the they sing it like at baseball games a lot it's it's uh drives me crazy they sing it in the hampt I know it is they singing in the Hamptons all the time Gentiles get together Sweet Caroline Sweet Caroline drives me [ __ ] crazy oh my God he does that he sings that one too yeah that I love Neil Diamond no there but that song when it comes on a bar and I see it's not the song it's people's reaction to the song drives me crazy and now they have a Budweiser commercial or something sweet with like brothers and Mexicans jumping up and down stop stop it it's a great [ __ ] song Tyson Fury recover to cover [Laughter] yeah [Music] [Applause] [ __ ] I love that guy oh that's the way to end the boxing match by singing oh my God that's [ __ ] great incredible and he got the whole crowd of thing along they all stayed most people leave when a fight's over especially when you win by knockout they stay because they want to hear him talk you know how unusual that is where a whole crowd is willing to stay to listen to the guy talk Watch What Happens at a UFC main event when say like someone wins there's a few people who stick around they want to see the postf fight speech but most people are headed to the [ __ ] door if Leon Edward started singing Sweet Caroline that'd be great I love Lon that'd be great or something something something that people know like there's there's a few of those songs that everybody knows somebody with a Brazilian accent to sing Sweet Caroline
or or our boy Romero right to sing y sing Sweet Caroline Joey to this day that was one of my favorite podcasts of all time you translating for yoel Romero he had me lost did he my Spanish is [ __ ] you know I got to be around those people every day you're pretty good you're pretty good you you're pretty good I know he was you know it's just what a character that guy is bro he just won he just he still hits me up yeah he still he's a good good guy he's a he just beat Thiago Silva in U in pfl versus Bellator that's us I love you he's the best man that guy imagine what would have happened if that guy got into MMA at 22 he didn't even get to the UFC D in his late 30s that guy would have killed everybody what is he now he's 46 47 yeah he just beat Thiago Silva he Thiago Silva is still legit still [ __ ] super dangerous that's crazy Thiago Silva went to a split decision with Jon Jones yeah that guy y Romero just beat him make sure it's a split decision that might not be correct I want I want to be sure about that but it was a close fight close fight like he got in he's a good fighter John [ __ ] his knees up though John destroyed that dude's knees when is John coming back well John uh tore his pec muscle it's a big one tore it off the bone in wrestling practice you could actually see it in the video he's um he shoots and they're in the scramble and he just screams and falls back and grabs his chest Split Decision Split Decision yeah so on one judge's scorecard Thiago Silva beat the greatest fighter of all time Santos excuse me Thiago Santos beat the greatest fighter of all time and then yoel just beat him I mean I know it's been a slide since then what was that 2017 what year was that Jamie 2016c 239 the date it doesn't say the date on like Wikipedia I'm looking at their main the main page all sorts of stats but not the date of the fight that's interesting does here 2019 19 okay so that's not that long ago man five 5 years ago yoel is uh I think he's at least 46
he turns 47 at the end of April he looks [ __ ] great he looks [ __ ] great he moves [ __ ] great he looks great he doesn't look slow he doesn't look old he's still America's top team um that's a good question I don't know who he always comes up with these Cuban scientist yeah that come over from Cuba and stuff someone's doing something right you know they just po uh one of the UFC guys wal Harris got four years four years four years and he's 40 so that's essentially a career Ender you know but when you're 40 dude and you're fighting and you're training every day you're doing two a days and three a days like bro your [ __ ] your testosterone gets beat down your system gets beat down you're you know you're putting a tax on your system that's very hard to deal with at that age really oh yeah it's a big difference you get a guy who's 22 years old old and you put him through a fight camp that that's a guy who can recover as long as he's doing the right things he's eating right and he's sleeping right and he's hydrating right he can recover you can get through the camp it's hard as [ __ ] I mean a real fight camp for MMA is one of the most difficult Endeavors in all professional sports you have to fight five rounds 25 minutes of actual fighting in a championship level fight and you're getting kicked and punched and wrestled and you're getting taken down you're trying to get back up the exertion level is so insane when you watch like Cheeto versus uh sugar Shan at the end of that fight even though sugar Shan put on a clinic I mean he put on a clinic at the end of that show he he was beat the [ __ ] up he walked out of there with a foot cast an arm cast he's limping through the hallway I mean and he won and then Cheeto just busted up man his whole face is busted up I mean those guys are exhausted they went through hell and it took them 12 weeks to get in the kind of Peak physical condition just to be able to do that I mean it's a crazy way to make a living man and you're depending on all these things that break so easy all this stuff this is how you're going to use this to make your living and feed your family you have a wife and kids and you're going to depend on your tissue and your bones to stay in place while
you're smashing people in the face and you're getting smashed and you're getting your arm barred and you're getting your leg ripped all this [ __ ] is happening to you your neck's getting tweaked your back falls down you're tweaking your lower back your hamstring [ __ ] and your hip hurts now and you're fighting hurt you're going to fight they all fight hurt they all fight hurt they all fight you know it's it's it's like you said 12 weeks and [ __ ] happens yeah can you know you got to figure out a way to make it into the the cage and so some of them like Tom Aspen he didn't didn't even he [ __ ] his rib up preparing for that fight with Sergey pavich so he like he couldn't even wrestle he's fighting this gigantic terrifying Russian who knocks everybody into the dark dimensions and he can't even wrestle he can't do the one thing that you would think he needs to do to that guy pavlovich [ __ ] everybody up [ __ ] Derrick Lewis upstanding he [ __ ] a lot of people up taiu iasa he's [ __ ] people up beating them upstanding he's a dangerous cat he's giant he's Giant Giant and Aspen couldn't even you know he but he had to take that chance and it worked out for him you know but then look Islam makev you know when he had the rematch with volkanovski he's preparing for Charles Olivera Charles Olivera gets cut makev steps in or U Alexander steps in with [ __ ] 11 days notice and he rematches with a guy who's gone through a full Camp it's crazy that doesn't happen in boxing ever if Tyson Fury gets cut 10 days before he's supposed to fight Anthony Joshua they don't just call usyk up and go what are you doing in 10 days that never happens ever especially at a championship level not just Championship level but the two guys who are widely considered to be the very best pound-for-pound fighters in the world number one and number two up until the ilot Toria fight number one and number two in most people's eyes up until the second makev fight before that fight it was volkanovski was like there was the debate whether it was makev or volkanovski was number one and so makev knocks him out with a head kick he's only had 10 days to prepare he doesn't look the same he gets rocked he gets beat up in that fight and then he goes and fights toor and he gets knocked out so the whole world that you live in you
go from being the best pound-for-pound fighter on Earth the [ __ ] man to just months later you're not even the best in your division anymore the best guy in your division just knocked you uncon ious and now he has your belt and he's 10 years younger than you that dude is tight too at toari or whatever he's [ __ ] tight dangerous he's tight that [ __ ] is tight everything is so sharp his technique is Flawless everything is Flawless his boxing is so dangerous he's so dangerous everywhere he's dangerous with submissions he's dangerous with kicking he's dangerous his heart is dangerous he fought this dude ji Herbert and he went up to 55 for that fight so uh he's a 45 pounder and he said [ __ ] it I'll take a fight at 55 he gets head kicked in the first round by ji Herbert is a nasty standup fighter he's so good he's real slick he's real real good standup like real sharp standup and he caught Toria with the perfect head kick and Toria you like he's in real trouble he got dropped and he scrambled got a hold of him next round sent him into the dark lands blasted him against the I mean literally slept him face planted him and walk off KO he's an animal dude he's a real he's a real problem cuz he's intelligent he's dedicated he's driven he's he's got that kind of confidence that those championship guys have where they know they're the best even before they're the best he knew he was the best even before and he's literally fighting the best guy ever in that Division and he's telling everybody I'm going to [ __ ] this dude up inside of two rounds when is he fighting next good question I don't know who he's fighting next so the he wanted to go up and fight Islam makev at 155 and then um that was talk people talked about that and then um then they were also talking about shashan said he wanted to go up and fight Toria but Toria said no I want you to fight morab who's also from Georgia just like Ilia is born in Georgia and Mor Rob's the rightful guy that should be fighting at 35 so that's going to happen there but if Shawn gets past Mor rob you could see a world where they can make a a champion versus championship fight at 145 but Ilia Toria essentially is kind of cleaned out the division already the real dangerous guys like Josh EMT he
pieced that dude up wow he pieced Josh EMT up he beat his ass he's just so good man and he's so like he fought different with EMT because EMT is terrifying that guy's just a behemoth at 145 that dude puts people to sleep he's that guy that knocked out um Bryce Mitchell with that one punch that's right that's right oh yeah Josh EMT is a terrifying Striker he just throws everything in every punch and he knows all he has to do is hit you once and so that's how he fights and so Ilia just fought real clever just moved in moved back moved in moved back didn't charge forward just aware of the power until he could start piecing him up and then just started piecing him up it just tactically he's so smart you know so it's not just his ability as skill it's knowing when to apply it and how to adjust to different kinds of Fighters but the ji Herbert one might have been the most impressive one dude he got see if you can find that he got head kicked he get hits with a with a switch high kick off the left leg right to the face man I mean like this like like you he just dropped which is you know 99 times out of 100 like the beginning of the end look at this look at that left high kick watch this boom I mean dude he got [ __ ] cracked on the chin dude look how perfect it is no it's perfect I mean it is a perfect high kick and ji Herbert's dangerous dangerous too but he got lucky um that uh he got a hold of a leg you know and and also that he didn't try to stand up he went he actually got knocked down if he was standing up Herbert could have caught him with a bunch of other shots and put him away cuz once you get hurt if you can get a hold of someone it gives you at least seconds to try to clear your head cuz sometimes it takes your head like a few seconds to reboot and you can still hold on to someone while that's happening and maybe you can survive so in his case he did but now show The Knockout show uh Toria knocking out ji Herbert so in the second round he just times him times him with this right hand from hell it's it's a good fight up until then man ji Herbert is a tall look at this he's a tall 55 and you can see by his movement like very skillful Striker very dangerous and long so Ilia gets him up against the cage look at rip to the body boom Oh my God bro but look at the combination before that he sets
it up by a left to the body watch this left of the body watch it boom bang hard left hook to the body right hand over over the top look at this boom right to the liver boom and bro that was a solid liver punch too cuz you see him breathe out after he gets hit show that right there again right before watch he gets hit with his left of the body look at him breathe out see his mouth fill up that's like it's a perfect liver punch and then a perfect right hand behind it so he might have been knocked out just from that liver punch son he might have went down a half a second later from that liver punch that's how good that punch is and then then he hits him with that right hand over the top toor is terrifying terrifying to go back to what you were talking about earlier with uh yel and this [ __ ] guy I was watching this morning he's 39 years old [ __ ] uh Lebron Lebron looks awesome he looks awesome man you see chel sun's been ranting and screaming he's on steroids everyone knows he's on steroid guy's 39 he's averaging 35 minutes a [ __ ] game he's top five yeah in the NBA in minutes do they test NBA players I don't know I don't know Jamie what do they test him for they test them for like testosterone replacement alcohol no reefer not Reaper no Reaper No No never they can't they can't they won't have a league it's too good for it's too for it's the same reason why it's so good for pool it's got to be so good for basketball puts you in that zone you just feel it you feel things more anything with reefer put you in that [ __ ] you know I we had music on Le Zeppelin came on and I was sitting there and all Su I went back and I'm like to be honest to be honest you this is the reason why I smoke pot that's the reason I would never have done a drug but I knew it was going to sound a lot better with that reefer it does isn't it crazy food tastes better feels better lifting weights with reer oh my aming you feel your muscles my God riding a bike with reefa the only thing I don't do Rea is roll [ __ ] you you don't do Jiu-Jitsu no no no interesting no a lot of people do I don't give a [ __ ] including this guy I know no no that donkey dude no I went to his seminar he was smoking Jeff oh yeah
yeah yeah he was hilarious Jeff Glover oh yeah he's hilarious he's hilarious dog yeah he's [ __ ] good too he's good too he's good you know that reefer [ __ ] somebody mounted me once and I was highing an edible that was it time out time out no no no no no no no no no no no it's amazing for pool no yeah anything like that writing oh my God for writing writing when you giggle yeah and you're like what the [ __ ] but this what I wanted to talk to you about was recuperation at that age got to be really smart well LeBron spends a lot of money he like famous for spending money on his recovery right massages cold plunges and does everything everything got to give it to him well you have to he's at the very top of his game and he's worth a billion dollars you know I mean he's a billion dollar property he's at the top of his [ __ ] game I mean and he looks like a superhero I mean LeBron looks like a superhero you look at him you're like good Lord show a photo of him like his body is there any shirtless photos of Lebron let me take my pants off you don't know any you you you know you won't know this cuz it's basketball but like that's like flexing dude look at that yeah and how tall is he 68 78 LeBron diet LeBron James diet reveals he eats like [ __ ] but trains well I don't know what this are he he not he eats a lot of candy but as as that's when he was younger too now he I mean now clean up yeah he's good too man he's also slim down from where he was back when he was younger like his first five years in the league they argued he could be up to 300 lb most so is this him now that's him now he's probably close to like 260 okay so he definitely looks Slimmer in that picture than he did in the other picture where he was lifting weights sure but that was also right off you know right out of in the gym it says that he appears to have lost 10 to 12 pounds it said in that photo so yeah you see that photo in the gym he different and those still shredded yeah he looks like an MMA fighter he looks like he could be like a UFC heavyweight champion he's shredded I got no problem with a professional athlete doing whatever he needs yeah well as long as they're not a f professional you're the thing about Fighters is no I know that
stuff but I'm talking about like for Recovery you all that stuff yeah he looks great the new [ __ ] they're doing in training with people yeah is is just you know I go to basketball games I told you I see those athletes that Jason kid from [ __ ] Boston dog when he goes to the basket you're not stopping him it it's it's unreal how quick he is when you're watching and he's six' six these guys are super [ __ ] athletes well it's like everything else Joey they get a chance to see the people before them and then they get better they get better than those people like every sport if you go there's always going to be the few outliers like Muhammad Ali if you took Muhammad Ali from 1967 and brought him to the heavyweight division today he'd be [ __ ] people up they wouldn't know what to do with him there's so many fighters he would [ __ ] up but he's just a complete outlier but and you know there's other like Michael Jordan complete outlier any generation you put him in he's going to [ __ ] people up Larry Bird complete outlier any generation he's going to score from the from from from the court but if you get the overall the bet the athletes like UFC today is the best example of it because it's one of the clearest you could go to 93 2024 and you see this massive Evolution massive you see these people that are fighting on the undercards of these fight cards like you like the the UFC fight cards the the fight night cards that are the smaller cards they do at the Apex Center you're seeing World Championship caliber fighters from 10 years ago like they would probably beat a lot of world champions and this is their UFC debut that's how good these guys are oh they've evolved a lot everything has evolved a lot everything it's amazing it's amazing the training when you look at them did you see this past fight night this last weekend with rose nunz no no in the undercard this kid Cameron Simon who's like one of the best best guys uh at 135 very slick Striker South African kid like very tough very good kid he fought this dude um pton Talbot and i' never seen this guy fight before this kid is a [ __ ] dude he's so good he's 25 years old he's fought like once I think in the UFC and
once in the contender series and this is my first time watching them and I was like Jesus Christ man he's socking now they're doing this since they're 12 mhm now they're doing this since they 12 and they're dedicated to MMA there's MMA classes see if he can find that knockout see if the find find the the knee he would have hit him with in the first round like in the beginning of the fight he was [ __ ] him up I think everything has a window like that's what we were getting to like especially with the UFC it's when you get to the UFC you have to give yourself a window because after a while that's the thing about fighting they'll go on forever yeah there's very few guys that are like Jim Miller Jim Miller still fighting at a world class level Brad tovaris CU still knock you the [ __ ] out oh Brad tovaris that's a strong he just beat Chris Weidman he looked fantastic he looked fantastic yeah those with the leg kicks he was kicking themi my God yeah kicking the [ __ ] out of him and just looked slick looked very good very good a stand up but now you got these guys remember these guys got into it in 18 when they got out of college they were wrestlers these kids Brad is young man that's the thing you got realiz about Brad Brad was thrown to the Lions Den when he was like in his early early 20s I think Brad's only Brad devaris I think he's I think he's only 33 yeah he's a kid he's been around forever he fought y back in the day yeah he's he's fought a lot of [ __ ] people lot of people man so those guys but those guys come one in a dozen you know longevity right you know yeah Jim Miller is the most extreme example of it he fought in UFC 100 fought UFC 200 he's going to fight in UFC 300 like what the [ __ ] dude and he looks awesome and he still teaches yeah well no he doesn't do that anymore that's also what's helped him a lot he sold his gym okay it was too much he explained it when he came on the podcast he's like just too much work you're dealing with so many different things and so now that he could just like concentrate on just his camps and get ready it's like it's much better he probably still teaches some classes I think he enjoys teaching I think running the gym was the real problem a lot of work man I think that's I think I'm correct a lot of come and
going in Jiu-Jitsu yeah lot of come and go also you're dealing with personality issues and if you if you run a business you have to deal with people that are arguing with other people there and you're like oh God and then this guy might be stealing money or this guy might be doing something he's not supposed to be doing he said he was doing this but he's doing that he's trying to cut corners and like [ __ ] and you have to deal with this and that that the business you have to be there and these martial artists that open up these schools and open up like a chain of them mhm and they're never at one of them you never know what's going on you never know yeah you'd have to really trust the people that are running that school for you they'd have to be like really well Tred and a part of your family you know you could pull it off like the machados have done that they they've had um machados have had various uh Machado satellite schools that are owned by Jean Jock's black belts and they're always great they're great they're always great John jock is on a different level out there and and by me I have the graci mhm and they got it down to a science they really you know I was talking to R the other day and we were just talking I go R think what's around me I got Tom I got the Silver Fox I got what's his name is an hour from me Ricard ala yeah I got all those guys right in my right there we were talking about it he's like you're in heaven there it's a great Jiu-Jitsu environment it's a beautiful [ __ ] and it's all henzo mhm henzo all those black belts of Silver Fox [ __ ] uh henzo got Empire a [ __ ] Empire he's got he's got guys in La he's got guys here he's got guys everywhere he's got schools everywhere he's at the school in Brooklyn now they're all great they're all great you always hear great things about all his school listen my lunchtime guy he just took second in the pan ABS that's wild he's great he's great and he's the guy that teaches the lunchtime classes yeah he's great that's awesome he's like a baby you throw like a baby I love him and he's changed the class you know but what my point was that in two years that I've been there the lunchtime class it's a whole new set of people every 90 days you still got a couple brown belts that are older they come but it just it's
it's a NeverEnding door four people sign up four people quit three people you know it's one of those things you right and once you get the blue belt they disappear some of them do yeah no a high percentage of it yeah what is the number of people that go past blue belt it seems like they get happy that they have little something little kind of a belt and then they keep going and it's uh but it's hard though you get injured you know and you have to learn how to roll correctly like where you you got to tap tapping is important you got to tap to save your body too many people fight out of [ __ ] that you shouldn't fight out of just learn learn how to not be in there this is it so this is the dude so Cameron Simon first of all a high level Contender this is the end of the fight when he's [ __ ] him up holy [ __ ] but you got to see like the stand up before that like in the first round is some of the most impressive [ __ ] I mean he's just he moves so good man and he's got high P look at this FL that knee right there back it up a little bit before that so this combination he catches him with and it's just the timing like look at the timing on this knee watch this boom and if you hear it it sounds like a baseball bat hitting a coconut I mean it's a perfectly timed knee he was just so [ __ ] devast dating yeah and just looked like he was having fun in there and this kid's 25 years old right so this kid when you w look at him he's got this very interesting personality you hear him talking like okay you're looking at a future Superstar and there's a lot of these guys look at that left hook tight tight left hookoo there's a lot of these guys right now there's so many people coming up right now that are so high level like one two fights into the UFC you look at them like good Lord that's a world championship Cali fighter what a [ __ ] hard career though you're right it's the hardest football last night though Tuesday night some kid came up to me with a Houston shirt at the club and he had number 34 whatever Lawrence the guy Lawrence Campbell earol Campbell and I'm thinking about him he's in a [ __ ] wheelchair you know from all that running he did they didn't have the technology we had now you know to turn
things around hips and knes hips and knees and yeah and that's a [ __ ] nightmare but now we're learn learning you know obviously over time and Miss Patrick studies and [ __ ] like that we've learned more about it ju-jitsu for me at 61 so I go to class I do all the drills I do the warm-up when it come time to roll I look around I pick and choose you know you have to yeah and I know what I'm there for I'm not there to go to a competition I'm have to be a world fighter right I you know why I go to Jiu-Jitsu for the social I love it I love it I love going in getting sweaty I get beat up nine out of 10 times you know that yeah but doesn't matter to me that's comedy you get beat up right and you get better you learn how to outlast for you it's good for [ __ ] an older person but you have to know what you're going in there for right you're not going in there to [ __ ] tap the blue belt or the purple belt you're going in there to defend yourself I watched all Hixon is my boy you know and I watch all his tapes and [ __ ] and he was he does a thing about you're thinking going into the gym later on this is my advice and I took it like a tea pick two days pick two days a week and go stick to those two days I do a core class every week and I do a blue b class every week that's it I lift weights I ride the bike I do all the other [ __ ] I box in my garage you know but I enjoy it the process is great Joe I'm not good at it but I go and some days you get a good [ __ ] roll and some days you get beat up but at least you're getting exercise I'm sweating talking to guys fun thing to do you're staying a little younger because you're talking to younger guys these guys are all cops well it's also your your in the moment like when you're doing Jiu-Jitsu you're literally trying to defend and they're choking me I'm like you [ __ ] suckers I yell at them and [ __ ] they giggle the other day some guy had my back a brother I love this guy and I'm looking he's choking me and I'm trying to defend the choke I'm trying to get him down and I go for a brother you got skinny feet he go [ __ ] I [ __ ] with all of them yeah soon as they gonna submit me I I crack a joke what the [ __ ] is wrong with you I'm an old man what the [ __ ] get off me you [ __ ] Jesus
Joey that's hilarious and that's what it's about yeah it's about a bunch of guys a lot of older guys in the daytime that's three or four guys older than me that's great there's a 67y old he's nasty Joe that's awesome but he's a black belt in Taekwondo like he that was what he had a Taekwondo school for all those years but there's a couple a guy that looks just like [ __ ] the guy that invented electricity Edison Edison that's what they call him when he comes in he finally got a haircut so he don't look all [ __ ] up no more but I [ __ ] around with him on Mondays he's great he's a guno guy oh wow he's done G you know these old guys are [ __ ] great so yeah it's social a lot of cops you know it's a fun thing to do too very [ __ ] fun and it's also one of those things that while you're doing it you can't think about anything else cuz it's so difficult to do those things are good for your brain dog when you're having a rough day like the phone's ringing and you're like you know what [ __ ] this we want this by 1 this was due at 2:30 you know what [ __ ] you I'm going to you jits yeah you can't bother me I don't even bring my phone upstairs also it's so much harder than anything else you're going to do that everything else just seems easier I look at that whoop watch and I can't believe I burned like 400 calories in the class forget the Bluebell class you wear a whoop while you do Jiu-Jitsu yeah yeah you going scratch people with that thing no it's hidden under here okay it's hidden you can put on your arm oh you can put arm one on right that's right you can put the chest one on you know and I see the people that are getting hurt is the 30y olds that go in there to kill themselves MH they're doing they're starting from their feet M you know [ __ ] all that [ __ ] my Judo Days Are Over You Ain't throwing me it's a good way to hurt your knees and I'm not going to grab you either so that's it you pass the guard you know you do little things you [ __ ] uh deiva you know [ __ ] like that and that's it man you go home I'm not looking to be a killer I'm not looking to be a bodyguard I'm just looking to get exercise how much are you getting up uh on stage in Jersey twice a week yeah not good enough yeah just just to keep the dust off it but it's not good enough
yeah it's not good enough at all I write a lot more I noticed that this last year I've been giving away jokes I just talk to comics and go take this cuz I'm not going to use it right you know I just think of [ __ ] and I write it down it's fun man I forgot how much fun it is to write it's real fun but you got to be in a place where you could do it all the time all the time you that's that's the beautiful thing about here all the time no you got this is listen this is the best scene in the country they're starting to open up manager office here and [ __ ] agencies I know you were telling me that that's crazy this is going to be a [ __ ] Utopia a year those big cities are going to be forgotten about for comedy yeah they're going to be doing comedy but not like you're doing it down here not with eight clubs around you and 16 one nighters it's also it's just exciting because it's a new thing like there was never a scene like this here before so now the scene's here and so many great Comics are here and it's a new thing guys are getting better too they're getting better did you see Derek last night I saw Derek Poston no you seen Assan did you see Assan ass's improved bro holy [ __ ] bro got he got a lot better he got a lot better he's confident writes all the time works hard he was on the core crew and the workout the workout crew he's one of the cores he's always there where do you have him right here in the gym and what time do they come we do it when I don't want to say on the air but we do it you do it every day no depends okay different days it took some time off and you got them doing kettle bells and everything got him doing all kinds of stuff pushing the sled hitting the bags I got them doing tatas I do intervals on the bag explain intervals from toata intervals of 20 seconds work 10 seconds rest so you a cycle of eight so uh in a row mm so I give him gloves and I say don't try to be a hero this is what I want you to do just this is how you throw a left hand this is how you throw a right hand just I want to see you hit the bag just like this you're not going to try to do it hard I just want you to do it constantly and most of them have hit a bag or something before a little bit and so I say don't don't worry about hitting it hard I just want you to hit it and don't
hurt yourself and you're going to goo it for 20 seconds at a pretty fast clip and then you're going to rest for 10 and do 20 seconds rest for 10 do that a cycle for a cycle of eight that's good for cardio right CU I do it on the bike I do it on the bike it's great for cardio it's one of the best uh ways to develop cardio is the Tabata Interval for whatever reason I don't know why but uh so we did that at the end so we did the kettle bell workout and then we do the sled and then we hit the back I was putting them through like real workouts and then we do uh sauna and coold plunge you know but that all goes with being a good comic it's work you know that that whole workout thing when I wasn't doing it you're not a good it's work and makes you feel better about yourself it makes your body feel better makes your brain feel better it also makes you feel like you're not lazy and stagnant like there's been times uh where I get up and for whatever reason I'm just not feeling it and I [ __ ] off and I look at my phone and I make some phone calls and then the next thing you know I'm not getting in the cold blune the next thing you know I'm not going to work and the day or I'm I'm not going to work out before work and the days that I realize I'm doing that like stop put your phone down get in the water were the days that I was happier I always felt better if I did what I needed to do cuz then I felt like I've already done the the thing that was the hardest thing to do today that's how I feel yeah so now I'm I'm on a good path I days on a good path yeah you see what happens to me when I eat I try I [ __ ] I got to do everything early yeah my world is early early's good though I likey it's good getting it out of the way it also like sets up the rest of your day you know get that really physically difficult thing done early and then it sets up the rest of your day but the thing is like what I'm trying to say is like I'm not immune to those feelings of laziness and those feelings of procrastination you know and there's a handful of days over the last few years that I've done nothing and and should have should have worked out and I just [ __ ] off too much and I just didn't wind up doing it and my mind was like ah you work out basically every day like take a day off [ __ ] but then I don't
feel that good then the rest of the day I'm like why did I do that now I feel stupid now I feel like I'm lazy or I'm not centered you know I need to do something I need to do something for my brain as much as for my body I need to do something I haven't slept all here you know really 5 hours 6 hours soon as I last night I went to bed at [ __ ] 2 well it's so fun we're having so much fun and I got up at 4:40 oh no I'm like what the [ __ ] Joey oh no and I stayed up till about 6 and I hit the crib again like got up at [ __ ] 8:00 to call my daughter then I got up like at 900 8:30 I was up I get dressed I roll a joint I brush my teeth and I [ __ ] get out of the house I go for a nice walk in Austin you know you been enjoying it here very much so I'm looking at it it's a different look it looks completely different than just come down every now and again I am yeah once a month coming down next month few days I need two tickets for that 420 show for the unito boys okay let's go talk I went to a restaurant I want to tell you about I got a dish I've been dying to tell you it's called CH in Red Bank I told you I got two chefs at the Jiu-Jitsu school I got your boy from Steakhouse 57 the head chef there and I got the other this guy from Char he kept telling me come on come on it's in Red Bank you know 30 minutes I don't have babysitters I went good Friday big [ __ ] mistake it's a steakhouse and I told and he goes I get it he goes I'mma hook you up this [ __ ] gave me yellow fin tacos right because you're not supposed to eat meat fish I don't give nothing up for Lent but I just won't eat meat which is easy for me I don't give a [ __ ] and I had the lobster dumplings and then he sent over to my wife doesn't give a [ __ ] about Catholicism so she ordered but we ate so many appetizers she's like Joey I can't eat this dog she ordered short rib overi with a garlic sauce and the noi just melted in your mouth it was Tiny homemade noi I didn't eat it that night I got high the next day and I saw it was in the refrigerator and I tasted it Joe Rogan I had orgasms come out of every hole in my [ __ ] body you understand me I called him and he goes Joey if you want I'll bring I'll stop by I live right around the corner
I'm don't you [ __ ] dare I don't want that [ __ ] around me every [ __ ] it was so [ __ ] good man so [ __ ] good that ill needo is amazing there's something about Jersey Italian food it's on it's on another level it's very difficult to get stuff like that out here I can't wait for Sunday to come home no I'm coming home tomorrow but Sunday I go to Easter Sunday and I go to aaria they got this [ __ ] they make uh Sunday sauce $33 dog $33 a meatball this big they give you a [ __ ] pork rib that's in the sauce a big stick like a big pork rib to give you a brol and a big sausage for $33 I usually split it with my daughter I can't eat that whole [ __ ] thing the meatball is to die for it's to [ __ ] die for he gets pissed at me he's like you tell people about the meatball nobody's going to spend money on the big [ __ ] they come in here for the Sunday so it's [ __ ] you know who makes Sunday sauce Joe well that was always a I yeah I don't know how to make it and the people you know they make it but this is no drama you just go down there oh I love all that [ __ ] but I even got like now I just split plate now I can't eat the whole thing no more those days are gone the meatballs so [ __ ] good though Joe yeah there's there's not a lot I mean I haven't eaten at too many Italian places out here but there's I'm sure there's a bunch how you been to samies I heard Samy is great you ever been therea that's the spot that people keep talking about I liked there's just some spot there's a place in [ __ ] sea caucus or Rutherford it's owned by speia you eat this meatball your heart will stop it's that [ __ ] good yeah but elnido got some good W meatballs too yeah good ones well it's let that old immigrant style East Coast Jersey Italian food well they put everything in there don't they ve and the [ __ ] meatballs just [ __ ] especially the Sunday sauce when You' see the oils bubbling up on the surface of the pot and the grandmother be stirring it with a wooden spoon my grandmother did yeah my grandmother was the Big Cook was insane my grandmother could cook she'd make homemade pasta she'd have the the kitchen table flour out there rolling everything making it with the roller cranking the pasta through the machine
look at that good Lord how's a person supposed to eat well and healthy when that's available oh that's Osteria right yeah dog's pretty [ __ ] good Joey dog are not [ __ ] around no but you guys aren't either I gotta give credit what credit is Du those [ __ ] tacos the night and that's just from the truck on the street that's the truck on the street yeah but guess what I can't get that in Jersey Mexican food is God awful really I even told one of the waitresses we were talking I go the Mexican food's terrible I go the reff fried beans look like they were made from you know like a powder like powdered mashed potato and the kid goes they got those I go I knew they were [ __ ] powdered refried beIN they have powdered refried the food the Mexican food is horrible I don't know where these Mexicans came from they're not Apocalypto the [ __ ] food is [ __ ] terrible that's the only thing I miss about La that and that [ __ ] Sushi yeah I missed the [ __ ] albacore plate with the garlic on top and the onions oh LA's got well had good food but godamn they killed so many restaurants I already even know sushi place I was going to is dead Sushi Dan is dead yeah a lot of them went under but bro what youve done down here is [ __ ] I got commend you man that's a great club like I told you I was blown away the first night it's been pretty F it's uh and it's a year now it's crazy as it seems it's already open a year and everybody's come through here yeah everybody's come through here that's crazy yeah it's been crazy it's been awesome you did good brother we're just getting started and we're just getting started yeah it's been beautiful having you down here too it's oh just to see what you're doing and to see the club there's so much enthusiasm as that club yeah you know when you walk in people are happy to like I told you I love to spectate I'm a spectator bro I love to sit smoke pot and watch don't say a [ __ ] word and what I watched the way the people were interacting with the people coming in and everything it was beautiful I was like there's not a prick in here you don't feel like you know what I'm saying right yeah and you feel definitely safe in there yeah yeah [ __ ] cops everybody's in there so it's great it's a great thing man and it's family you can feel it in the air
yeah and that's what's there's no hang there's a hang but there's no hang and that hang is perfect there yeah it's perfect when that Green Room dog when I took my clothes off the first night that clothes smells so bad from all cigarettes cigar cigarettes acid speed [ __ ] any of that around here no you don't have none no yes you do no you hear it from me no I wouldn't do that to you what about what we got no smelling salt for Joey you didn't give me none you didn't we always have smelling salt that [ __ ] that that Zen [ __ ] me up before that 12 migr holy [ __ ] it's six but yeah you you you took it right after we ate and you're were like no I was EA that's one I swallowed the first one at the restaurant on top of the sushi so that [ __ ] and then I gave me I had another one in my pocket cuz the zins is when you take one sometimes you take two right they stick together yeah don't swallow them that's my advice to you well I already swallowed like six of them so it's too [ __ ] late well no more don't swallow anymore no I won't swallow no more but I got to get some more these brother all right I'll guess I love you all my heart thank you for having me down here family is family comedy family is comedy family and that's what these [ __ ] will never ever understand the people that don't get it will not get that because they haven't experienced it but we're lucky to cheer for each other yeah to [ __ ] you know I'm so happy for Tony and the garden I'm so happy for redband you know it's amazing and that's what being a comic is about is also [ __ ] giving love to these people people going you know what you're doing good man yeah the girls I love the girls you know Sarah's down there this week yeah she was happy to see me I was happy to see her you know Kim's coming tonight so Elanor yeah it's been great [ __ ] Ron White to see him Brian Simpson just released his Netflix special Donell was here yeah it's been amazing it's been amazing great town now I love you popping I love you [ __ ] I miss you too but we'll do this come down here next month and then I come down here in May then I get too hot for Uncle Jo okay don't worry about we'll take a couple month then by September I think I could do my own residency my own 45 minut
let's go Joey that's my plan beautiful all right you bye everybody love you guys [Applause] [Music]