Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ7FGp0_QBU
The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by the flashlight if you go to Joe rogan.net click on the link for the flashlight enter in the code named Rogan you will get 15% off the number one sex toy for men that's the sound of of opening the Fleshlight that's what it sounds like you seen the new ones no there's new there's a new design it's like it's it's called I think the pilot or something and it it's really slick it looks like a a like an Alienware computer of fleshlights like it's just designed really cool like really neat form and like do you really care what something looks like though while you're [ __ ] it well if I'm going to have it on my shelf or in my kitchen it looks better you know what I mean it's not a human though I mean oh no I don't care really what do you care what it looks like it's just the you know so if somebody sees it it looks cooler kind of like why you buy like a instead of buying like a you know a shitty computer like that you get $300 at fries you see like that wow look at that crazy robot computer you know that's it's cooler to look at if you have it in your kitchen it's just got more nerd cred yeah you should look at it go to flashlight.com you can actually see it or go through to your website and click on the link and then it opens up flashlight and then you enter in code named Rogan and you get 15% off yay we're also brought to you by on it.com makers of alphabrain f maybe someone was on some alpab brain when they designed that [ __ ] man it looks like some sort of a bong yeah do not lot of naked girls on that side here don't click on that [ __ ] while you're at work do not click on flesh Jack I accidentally did that and it becomes the most craziest website ever it starts showing uh bears and uh guys like hugging each other while using fleshlights uh like look at this let's try a uh you just click on this and then next thing you know it's just like hey look at me looking at my Fleshlight and it's like it's like a gay version of of the Fleshlight but it's called fleshjack It's called The Fleshlight flesh Jack boys oh W and it's just a bunch of guys and [ __ ] fleshlights with other guys other guys are kissing and I don't know how I got on this one but there's one somewhere in here there's two really
hairy men that look like Bert ker and uh and thas Aur are like hugging each other while using a Fleshlight on each other it's it's really horrible this is hilarious it's dudes masturbating into these Fleshlight mouths God I wish I could find that what look for the hairy bear guys that are sitting on each other's laps it's it's uh can you imagine somebody jerking you off a man whacking you off with a [ __ ] Fleshlight with your dick not even in his hand but in his little milkshake cup and he's like how does it feel just whacking you the [ __ ] off where does your [ __ ] life go from there thank you flesh light for promoting freaks R Us and [ __ ] now it's tremendous I love it people would like it though no they would everybody's got their own little Kink right yeah I guess some people would like that if if I was gay and I wanted my hairy friend to sit behind me and jack me off slowly like Kiss Me in the back and the neck and start licking inside my ears wrestling with my hair but the reason to become gay is to [ __ ] other people's ass hole up it's not to whack off in a cup I could whack off in a cup and be straight and be hanging out with Gody you know what I'm saying all all gay means is that they're sexually attracted to men they can do it all kinds of different ways right but I even never like a woman whacking me off can you imagine with a cup a woman what do I need you for it's like an oxy tandron whatever the [ __ ] that word apparently I talked to a gay couple after show Once who wanted to correct me and they wanted to let me know that not everyone who's gay uh takes it in the ass so I was like all right so what do you do you just blow each other and the guy was like yeah basically I'm like why would you care if that that distinction is even out there like what why would you why would you even want anyone to know what your bedroom practices are like we don't we don't even do that we don't you don't even do that okay why do I need to know this you tell me that people don't you know they certainly do so can't you make fun of that isn't it isn't that okay I think it's open Waters it's open waters for them be Pirates I don't I have nothing against nobody I just don't understand why get a cup and have a guy come over and whack you off with a cup I don't get it but if
that's your Kink but if that's your Kink lot of off by by women's feet a lot of people like a lot of crazy [ __ ] people could like the craziest combinations of [ __ ] there's a lot of [ __ ] weirdos out there man I used to date a chick that used to suck my [ __ ] nipples I hate that [ __ ] yeah get away from suck your [ __ ] nipples and that was her freak she wanted to suck your nipples cuz that's how she got off I used to did a Korean chick that you would have to come on her face and then she would have to masturbate for her to come because the the warmth from the [ __ ] jizz on her face got her all excited that's the only way you can get her to come that's the only way and she was a [ __ ] Savage second my nipples is like getting a raft rash like when he used to do that body surfing thing on those rafts in the salt water and the sand would just start like scratching you're chest up when you're a kid yeah they they don't work they're dead but I had a friend my friend Brian Holloway from executive billiards in white PLS M he used to love girls playing with his nipple he talk about it too he's a freak man he goes [ __ ] be playing with my nipple God damn I get hard as [ __ ] was really funny he was a funny dude man he was like one of those guys that you hang around with at the pool hall who always made everybody he was way funnier than me like he was he was always saying funny [ __ ] there what a [ __ ] character but he always talk about his nipples man girl can touch my nipples man damn I think once a girl everybody's different you know I think once a girl is with a guy that likes that she it's like us we think everybody likes that so they try that [ __ ] at first it's okay they like why you sucking my [ __ ] Lipp what the [ __ ] is wrong with you I'm saying I'm trying to crack a nut you're bring me back to [ __ ] childhood here that's hilarious what are you going to do on it.com o n nit T makers of alphab brain uh which is is a cognitive enhancing supplement all the information if you have any questions is it's very very detailed on on it.com what's funny I got to this point on fleshjack docomo these two pilots like like it's like a storyline thing where they they just take off their clothes and they're like hey we're pilots and now we're like
working out together with our fleshlights naked you want to masturbate together in this air hanger yeah Brian I don't think you should watch that [ __ ] I would not be as confident in my sexual I was you be to watch those I think it's so funny to watch I'm not obviously going to sit there and watch it alone in a house I have to have other people in the room so it's more of a joke but yeah that is a true thing you don't want to be I mean you could it's all context you know if you're looking at something going wow that's so [ __ ] hot or you I mean you could look at murders and be like w i mean you have to if you're watching something really [ __ ] up it should really be in the preference of a lot of other people so you valuated together yeah that's just shocking [ __ ] watching something [ __ ] up when you're alone and you have to think about it yeah and you get scared and [ __ ] you have to take off your clothes at least a bunch of you together you're like we're all together we're okay let's make fun of this real quick yeah I don't like watching creepy [ __ ] by myself anyway I'll [ __ ] sleep with the light on and [ __ ] I don't like none of that stuff at night late the other night The Exorcist was on and I was just scrolling it was like 1:15 I think it was Friday I [ __ ] you [ __ ] you that's the I only watch the exist in the daytime [ __ ] with the lights on with the [ __ ] daylight on that was at the the devil don't come out of the daylight do at the time that was a [ __ ] monster of a movie man woo that was a scary movie there's some scary [ __ ] movies out there get through this commercial on it.com alphab brain you guys know what it is listen it's all they're all New Tropics uh I've I've said this a 100,000 times in the podcast I try not to almost 200 times actually we we're about our 200th episode yeah we're celebrating at the ice house Wednesday yeah so we'll talk about that on the podcast as well Jesus Christ alpab brain new mood shroom Tech sport shroom Tech immune what are they they're all new tropics and and the other ones are athletic performance enhancing supplements and the uh shroom Tech immune is an immune enhancing supplement all the information any questions you have is all available on on it.com if you
order um the first order of 30 pills if you don't like it you get 100% of your money back you don't have to send the product back we don't want to rip anybody off I believe in this stuff I've been taking neutr bics and vitamins and supplements for years and years and they make a they make a big difference I think I think it's really important to eat healthy but I think it's also really important to uh to take supplements I think they've had a a tremendous impact on me I can feel it especially when you train hard if you do a lot of working out you feel the difference between getting the proper nutrients the proper diet so get into that first please before you do anything Google New Tropics but if you're interested go to on it.com and if you entering the code name Rogan you will get 10% off any and all orders um so go do that check it out Google neut Tropics there's a lot of other companies that have some good stuff Bill Romanowski is that his name yes sir he's got um a great one called neuro one I like that one too so that's it podcast about to start now Jo Diaz is here this is it's official The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day powerful Joey D what's up you sexy [ __ ] always good to see you my brother what's happening what's up Red Man hi thank you for having me on Friday night great time up there at the Ice House Chronicles the ice house has been the funnest [ __ ] place to hang that was awesome we've been having a good time man we're putting pasaden in the [ __ ] map again and [ __ ] it's a fun place man it's a [ __ ] fun place man it's all nice people everybody that works there's nice shows have been [ __ ] great all fun shows we're doing uh this Wednesday we're doing a uh a show in the big room we just announced the ticket just went out till today it's really stupid because the show is tomorrow night but but that's how we do you know we don't do much prior planning uh but it's uh at the Ice House in Pasadena in the bigger room we're going to have a uh 200th episode podcast and Extravaganza and Joe Diaz you going to be there no no brother I'm out of town you know I love you [ __ ] you I'm say where you headed I'm headed to the [ __ ] capital of debt what's that Miami Beach Miami Beach Miami Beach
Improv your headline in The Improv God godamn it's all different now Coconut Grove is all different now it was like a city of sin when we were there years ago now it's very quiet that whole Mall doesn't have no more wet wheelies they have like no more Wet Willies no no no no no I'm staying at the sester hotel which is different you know they have like cocoa walk and they still got holl at the moon and yeah you know for people who are coked up and want to go in there and sing songs and you know they changed it around so it's a different vibe I'm excited about going down there you know what I'm saying when was the last time you were there 3 four years ago three years ago in September or something I think with me it was even more than that yeah yeah you just go to Fort laale it was too crazy that they were the wildest crowd I have ever performed in front of like consistently it was like doing comedy in another country it was doing comedy in a country that just had totally different rules because everywhere else man people didn't talk while shows are going on that [ __ ] Miami Improv man they would just just talk while the entire show was going on you know just have conversations with each other I remember there was I said something about Oscar De La Hoya and someone someone in the audience goes [ __ ] him man Fernando Vargas and then the guy is go man [ __ ] both of them man who say so Chavez and then they start arguing back and forth doing the show about who is like the better boxer who's like the best boxer ever like you [ __ ] morons like what are you doing you have no control over yourselves you don't you don't even thinking for a second the show is on it wasn't even on their mind man there was like instant passion Toxoplasma infestation running rampant through their brain they're jumping up and you know calling out Felix Trinidad you know that's [ __ ] crazy I remember the one night we were we were together in a fight almost broke up oh yeah with the chick and the husband the chick wanted to get spanked and the husband got mad something to a crazy effect it was going to go on stage and I don't remember then I became friends with the husband and the husband bought his drinks and that was the end of the night there was so much craziness coming
out I was the other night the kid quit what's the kid from Boston real nice sweet guy comic he was in big uh he used to close with We are the world oh Kevin Kevin meanie that was that night where he quit you know you know what happened to Kevin meany right what Kevin meany came out of the yeah and BR Fitz Simmons is like really good friends with him good guy he says all of a sudden the guy's creative all of a sudden he's writing new material he lost a bunch of weight feels great that's cool is that amazing he was living with a burden bro and you know what we all kind of [ __ ] knew if you talk to him you and he's a I really never had a conversation with the guy but I remember at one point in time man he was really [ __ ] funny he fell he fell off for a while and I don't know why but I guess that was it it was the burden of being in the closet but I went to see him with a friend of mine uh uh when we were like maybe 19 19 or 20 at the most I hadn't even done standup yet I hadn't started to do standup yet and uh it was a catcher rising star in Cambridge and he [ __ ] destroyed destroyed we're big pants people he had this thing about big pants and about his family being in big pants people it was like the early you even know why you couldn't you I couldn't write it down for you on paper why it was so funny was it the early '90s yes yes he was very l no it was actually before that because I started standup in ' 88 so it was before I started standups so it was probably like 86 I seen him like in 90 and he was on fire oh my God I'm telling you man Kevin meanie at one point in time had a magic he was just one of those guys he could just go on stage just start talking about [ __ ] and it was just funny it was just funny he just had you there's a lot of dudes like you know how Brody Stevens got that thing where he he hits that weird Groove and he could just talk about anything and it doesn't make any sense salt shaker to the left sir you know he can say Stu like that you just start laughing man he's going to be a Conan tomorrow by the way oh powerful Brody Steve yeah that's awesome it's amazing what kind of Burden that must be living with any secret like that I had a friend that I I knew for years and he showed up with girls and and he drank and but then he drank and he just disappeared for three
months yeah and it was that thing he was he really somebody told me I seen him up with an AP par with no shirt on with another guy and I was like I don't give a [ __ ] in a park yeah like I don't like hiking hiking you know like runan Canyon you know like one of those things and I was like come on I never and I asked him he goes yeah and he goes That's what's killing me I don't know how to and what was crazy I met him on a set of a Man movie really yeah so do you follow me he these guys going [ __ ] those gay [ __ ] and all this [ __ ] oh and he's in the middle of all this so I could imagine I never knew that he was gay till a year or two after we did the [ __ ] movie you f yeah so I could just imagine how bad I I'm sure I said some dumb [ __ ] I think we've all known a few guys that have uh struggled with that you know there's I don't want to say the guy's name but there's that one guy who's a real good comic but he drinks a lot because he's gay he doesn't doesn't he's not out about it you know drinks a lot because he's gay like every single comic I know no he's he's like yeah I can't get into I'm sorry I can't get into specifics so she shouldn't even brought it up we have a but I've seen I've I've known guys personally and watched them struggle with that it sucks it's got to [ __ ] suck man and it's all just because of intolerance who gives a [ __ ] if someone's gay as long as I can trust you do not [ __ ] me when I'm drunk okay I don't care you know I don't care if someone's gay remember Jeff Jeff Richards from The Comedy Store the piano player yeah the piano player dude that guy's great Jeff Richards I call him Jeff Richards Jeff no no Jeff Rich talking about Joe Jeff Richards is the comedian the comedian from s live the other guy's the piano player that he would do peee her why can't I remember his last name Jeff Scott Jeff Scott [ __ ] great jot my apologies sir letting you sit there I hate that I have too many numbers it's called dunbar's Uh syndrome or something like that you can only store like 150 [ __ ] names and faces in your head um something along those lines but uh yeah I mean that guy was like openly gay and the coolest guy to hang out with and like like one of us you know he was great I mean who would care that that's what he's into he would joke around about it it' be fun who
would care I mean what only reason you would care is because you're trying to control something that's going on inside of you or you've got some weird ridiculous Notions you know that are you know some religious Notions about what another person shouldn't shouldn't do other than that why do why would you give a [ __ ] like what what is that why why do people trip out about that because they do bro they just do you know I grew up around it my mother had a bar plus she was a half a [ __ ] hag so you know what I'm saying a half yeah my mother was half a [ __ ] had cuz she had the bar you know and they were down there and I grew up with it and there was one particular guy that died he used to always tease me when I was a kid I going to [ __ ] tie you up and I would go Mommy and he would just tease me you know but I never really uh I tell you where I really learned a lot about the whole gay Society was when I got locked up because they had an AIDS unit and this prison that's when AIDS started to get big and they didn't know how to handle them what year was this this is ' 87 I was very fortunate and here they had these back that you lived in but the age unit you could eat off the [ __ ] floor and they had a big TV and they had refrigerators so people were like we don't talk to those [ __ ] but there was a couple guys that said dog they go down there and play cards they cook go down there so I'd start going down and I ran my action out of there most of the time like my gambling cuz I had a TV a big color TV and I got to talk to them and ask them how they got the age you know some people like I don't know how I got it you know stop it you know exactly how the [ __ ] you got it you even narrow it down to the night cuz once they read you that riot act you know exactly what night you got it and half of these guys were junkers there was only five or six in a unit yeah there was two guys that got it from sex and the other five got it from junking you know those syringes that blood [ __ ] is horrible in the 70s horrible and you know you talk about it's like us right now we're like yeah if we go out and we meet a girl we tell them to put on a we put a condom on and [ __ ] think of that's just like [ __ ] without a condom [ __ ] 20 chicks a night without a condom sharing your one needle with
somebody on the street corner he coming up to you going you got $3 yeah I got two let's buy a bag and share the [ __ ] R the share the [ __ ] rig and they wash it out with beer you know what I'm saying like they put beer in it and squirt it out or whatever I'm just I don't know Joe I don't know don't you know I mean I don't think if you're buying heroin on the street with a syringe I don't think you're going to R A to buy [ __ ] pharmacy buy alcohol yeah you know so all those people in the 70s didn't really know I mean if they do a real statistic count how many people just got buried thinking they had the pneumonia that had HIV you know it's like they found out years later that uh what's that [ __ ] when you get obsesses in your mouth that they kill you and they went back in time whatever and they had skulls and you could see the obsesses had grown and they realize now with today's medicine they would have saved these people right you know you don't know that [ __ ] we don't [ __ ] know so but just a burden of living with something like the burden I had even with just somebody trying to hide an addiction that's a burden that's the same burden as me being gay or not wanting somebody to know or me being a thief at night or me being the Iceman and killing people and coming home to my family in the daytime those burdens have to weigh dramatically on you they wor dramat because they go into deep into your psyche it's a secret so somewhere along the line if it affects you there it has to affect the other parts of your life and eventually you're going to blow cuz you're borrowing from Peter to pay uh Paul emotion which is the [ __ ] worst when you're playing with your emotions like right yeah and you know and when you're constantly spending energy trying to trick yourself thinking that everything is all right that's like you don't you don't even have half your brain because it's like your whole brain is in Conflict like you have you have like the rest of the thinking and planning and looking objectively at your future that doesn't even take place because all you're doing is dealing with uh whatever is [ __ ] with you whatever whatever weird issue it is humans are so strange man it's so strange how we lock on to behavior
patterns like that like you'll you'll see people that get addicted to gambling I mean that's a simple Behavior pattern some something happened along the line and their mind their reward system got completely addicted to these giant jolts that they get from risking money and when they don't have that they don't feel alive when they do a regular job and sit there with what you know what they would call squares and just sit around all day with a bunch of [ __ ] people that just you know don't want to take any chances and get put 15% on every tip you know they they want to [ __ ] roll dice they want to see what happens they want to give it a chance and they get suckered in and then it consumes them I've seen guys I've seen guys become homeless gambling junkies I've seen it I've actually seen them he used to have an apartment yeah that guy yeah but uh guys from the pool hall from back in uh in White Plains I saw a couple guys go homeless that was was there was a lot of older dudes especially that would like in their 60s and 70s come in yelling about a [ __ ] horse this [ __ ] come in five you know the yelling the numbers out for the lottery I got 5627 the [ __ ] 5626 you all the things I've read and all the shows I've seen about gambling cuz it's always [ __ ] with me cuz my mother was hooked so I was successible I was successible to that success uh to that disease I didn't say when I was 18 you know all the things they do is deep down inside these people want to lose these people want to lose yes that's why they I mean nobody ever says to you I just got a ticket I just got [ __ ] pulled over and [ __ ] in the ass these people come in and sit there drinking going what's up dog those [ __ ] Boston Celtic [ __ ] they didn't cover the spr and they'll tell you that whole night and how they're down 1,200 and how tomorrow and you're looking at them like oh my God and I almost got hooked on gambling Joe when I was 18 I was close yeah and I figured out that this is the cocaine logic I figured out that I had two vices I like the Gamble and I like the snort I had to pick one I got to pick one or pick the other there's nothing the coke push the gambling out of your life Coke like this could really get in the way yeah this is getting in the way because one thing I I was you
know when you're addicted you're weak and You're vulnerable to money and the quick score but I also knew there was another side to that coin and the coin was you have to pay somebody if you lose and 85% of the time you lose and let me tell you something if I'm gonna give somebody $600 listen if I'm selling blow and I'm mugging people and I'm making four or five grand a week I don't mind giving you a grand that's a cost of doing business you know what I'm saying you're out there you're talking [ __ ] I got the Nicks those [ __ ] suckers something conversation but if I'm earning a living like I got to get up and go to work God forbid I got to give my money to some idiot because I bet the [ __ ] Knicks and they want to play [ __ ] jungle handball and I'm not going to cover this [ __ ] spread here forget it so I said if I'm going to take if I'm going to get waste $200 on gambling I might as well spend $200 on snorting and look out a window and get something out of it at least on par you know what I'm saying I get something out of it you know insurance is like gambling when you buy insurance they don't give you nothing you sign a paper that's why insurance is the hardest sale in the [ __ ] world you get a handshake it's like gambling when you lose with G it's the same [ __ ] logic like what what's it's nothing there's nothing it's just a transfer of paper what is gambling at the end when you gamble on something it's not like you could gamble on yourself I go fight Jon Jones once I I could get on the [ __ ] horse myself it's the same kind of logic Joe Rogan we get nothing for it just a transfer of [ __ ] money and it always ends up you giving up that [ __ ] cash it never comes the other way every once in a great while is there anybody that's like a really good Gambler that's out there making a living gambling on Sports yes but the their IQs have to be [ __ ] phenomenal and control and they have to have the control of an older gentleman because you have to you have to know this is like this is a SE the goddamn movie no if you're [ __ ] 21 and I give you 80 grand on a Friday night you're going to Vegas and you're going to [ __ ] dashing in the ass you're going to spend every [ __ ] time of it but a controlled Gambler is somebody who says you know what just cuz there's a game on
Tuesday don't mean I got to gamble I'm saving my money for Thursday in fact I'm going to call they they out with the book they call the book and [ __ ] with the book hey it's Tuesday but what's the line on Thursday and they start [ __ ] with the books and start calling it's a system Joe and the people who make money the it's like anything else Joe Rogan there's Comics like me don't have millions you know what I'm saying and then there's Comics that figured out how to become a label and a and a business and the same thing happens with gambling there's people who just come and go through gambling and when they go they lose a house right you know they lose a house a wife 10 cars a job because it affects everything but with [ __ ] yeah I mean we had my friend Jimmy Burke on and that was his story when if his childhood his dad would just go off go off just go off and owe money and lose the house and that would be it you know the biggest gambling loser was of our time who John Gotti a million a month cash what 250,000 a weekend he was making 12 million a [ __ ] year he won once in a while the feds got documents they were thinking of putting a thing out the biggest loser ever sportswise degenerate degenerate most of his that's why you got to look at a guy like that and go that [ __ ] dressed in $2,000 suits when he was just walking the streets how much was he really stealing he was stealing because he was a degenerate Gambler from the [ __ ] cards to [ __ ] dice to [ __ ] Sports to everything and he would lie you know what I'm saying like he'd lie about his losses he go to him go I need 300,000 to put money on the street no he was losing but on the other hand the guy was loyal because he paid his debts a lot of people like that will just say suck my dick what are you gonna do it's John Gotti he paid his debts he paid every [ __ ] debt nobody ever said the guy didn't pay his debts he paid his debts but he was of disgusting gam he's he was a weird mob boss like all of a sudden like he was a star it was really strange he was like the first one that seemed to like relish the role you know remember when they couldn't catch him with anything and they'd call him the Teflon Dawn and he
thought that that he had that big ball dude that was a mafia T style lawyer remember what was that guy's name Cutler yes Bruce Cutler yes and he was his lawyer and he was like the celebrity lawyer for John Gotti and he the way the way he always defended him was like whoa this guy's got this like super intelligent Bulldog legal guy on his side and he's just just going to just [ __ ] do battle with the system meanwhile everybody knows he's uh you know he's the head of organized crime and they're trying to figure out how to pin it on him it was the weirdest thing watching it all play out like in the news it's like how is this guy this guy's just running around like you know he's the organized crime guy and they're just trying to figure out how to bust him like it's like real strange it's like watching like Law and Order play out like that where they they're they're convinced the guy is guilty but they can't get a conviction you know for a long time they couldn't get a conviction on him right that was his nickname the beauty of it is the beauty of it is is in May we're going to New York I don't know if Brian's going to know who's going sold out already and within minute and one of the nights when we get there we're going to go to spark Steakhouse and park outside is that the place where uh and you're just going to park outside and I want you to just sit close your eyes and think about the balls it takes to shoot somebody at 5:30 on Christmas week at that place just the balls to because once he did that who's going to argue with you right he didn't shoot him in the head he didn't poison him he got five guy he talked talked Five Guys so he went and talked Brody Ari Duncan into going around the car and shooting this [ __ ] when he comes out and they got away with it broad daylight all of them shot him at once all of them five [ __ ] guns coming at you and godano and whatever were in a car and he talk Five Guys to shoot they call themselves The Fist the five hands and they just went out there and shot this [ __ ] at 5:30 at night December 15th or something when you sit there and you feel what it takes to get that that's when you'll go I get it I get what this guy did he did you know he he
uh he did something that was UN you know that's amazing shooting somebody at House of Blues at 8:00 at night during the premiere this guy did something that was just ballsy there was no argument after that like he just took over so what what was it that everybody thought he was just so crazy after that that he do that they were going to kill him because he was selling heroin he said either I'm going or you're going [ __ ] and he talked to everybody and he goes here's the deal I'll cut you in we'll all become millionaires but this motherfucker's got to go W and they sat down and they set up a fake meeting to meet everybody there and these [ __ ] got out of the car and five guys got out dressed as Russians with the hats with the little jackets like they were donating and started unloading on these guys look at the pictures look at the pictures the guys on the street with a towel on them with blood coming up but the thing what happened with Gotti is what Alex Jones talks about they went after Gotti the first time Gotti [ __ ] them up spit in that face Gotti well listen when you beat the government you take your money you take your pieces and you go home the government ain't going to stand there the government is a business the government puts a million dollars a year into following Joe Rogan eventually we're going to collect on that investment and we're going to do whatever it takes to collect on that investment my friend that's it plain and simple when the government wants you they're coming to get you and that's one situation where he beat him he beat him with jewelry tamping they went back at him he beat him again with something then they put wires everywhere which the wires were [ __ ] illegal they put them everywhere and they still but the guy talked they're not illegal anymore no but the guy uh you know the guy heard himself talking I mean the guy was a [ __ ] let's face it he heard he was crazy he was just such a buck Wild guy to be in control of an organized crime or you know a big thing like the mob people bringing you money yeah can you imagine Bri people just come on Thursdays and bring you 80,000 tripy brings you 100 Grand I bring you 40 this is it this is what you do can you imagine if all wires
were illegal like all wires all wires like wires everywhere like you weren't allowed to have wires anywhere what the [ __ ] are you talking about you know and it's very sad what the government doesn't know is that all right call Grano whatever the [ __ ] you want I mean you know I just read something the other day about this [ __ ] they're going to reconvicted because in 19 he's still alive he's still alive but he's all [ __ ] up in 1980 he's in Colorado and Tomahawk under the [ __ ] prison and uh he's all [ __ ] up from the steroids his hair fell out his teeth are falling out he's got some central nervous disease like Mitsy sha he shakes and [ __ ] God bless him but the [ __ ] the [ __ ] bless you know when the government took him and talked him into pretty much ratting on this guy you know what they just real they just realized all his sins that he never capture now he's getting convicted because now they're throwing everything at him in ' 83 he was going around buying lottery tickets so he you knew in the neighborhood if you hit the lottery for $800,000 it was 8 million come to Gano he'll buy the ticket because then he had a legal way of getting income how many [ __ ] tickets he bought that year you know how many tickets that idiot bought that year how many 800 a million cash he bought off the people holy [ __ ] just so he would have annuities oh wow so it just made it look like he was just winning the lottery left and right [ __ ] everybody in his house won the lottery one year the daughter the daugh you know that Whitey Baler did that too Whitey buer won the lottery twice it's like the balls of these [ __ ] suckers it never ends but here's the weird thing I've told you this before when at the end after they had gravano in they were making lone shark collections he was still calling the people going I don't give a [ __ ] if I'm in prison you're going to have two feds going by there and picking up the money Fe that's incredible that's documented the people that's how much they wanted Gotti that they just could a deal with the Devil they just cut a deal with the devil just to go after [ __ ] this
degenerate [ __ ] dude Gano was like easily just as bad right I mean the stuff that he had done just as bad right he murdered a bunch of people right yeah but he was he wasn't like a straight up guy he was like a [ __ ] con guy that con like he would but he got out yeah he got out for a while yeah that's what people don't understand like the government let a known killer out he talked him out of it he was a he was a tremendous negotiator he got got to keep his 20 million he got 5 years and that was it he got to keep his 20 million from illegal activities and then what happened he he was like selling exy in Arizona in Arizona that's when we met the daughter at The Improv the daughter came to the show that time the one that's on Mob boys now the chubby one came to one of our shows in Tempe one time with with your buddy the The ex-f Fighter the bodybuilding guy he had a bunch of broads with him and I was making fun of I said something about the town at Sammy the bull and after word he goes I got his daughter here be careful what you say w that was his daughter that was there with us that one this is 98 I can barely remember but I'm kind of remembering it now yeah that was a long lot of freaks dog well Arizona is a strange Place very strange Brian pointed it out to me once we were in Scottdale and we were hanging out having a good old time and Brian goes everyone's on coke everybody go you look around he go like he he he clued me in on the the mannerisms and he goes go walk up to them they'll be having a conversation where they'd be really [ __ ] sincere but they could be talking about what's better Coke or Pepsi yeah really it also is like right when I said we looked over and everybody at the same time was like wiping their nose and going like this like it was just weird it was like a movie it was if it was in a if it was in a a movie it would be to over the top you'd be like no there's not that many people on coke at the club but this place was it was redonkulous I don't know if it's still like that you know cultures the Coke the Coke comes and go goes like people always going to want Coke but the coke cultures like kind of die off a little bit there's a lot of people try to get their act together you know there's a lot of people don't like the way that that wrecks their [ __ ]
body and they're trying to get out of it I really really you put white powder on your nose silly [ __ ] I really really would like to know I really really really would like to know the amount of coke that comes into just our country every year just to figure it the [ __ ] out what do you think I got to be it's got to be in the metric tons where do you think it's coming in how do you think it's getting here Mexico but what like who's bringing it in is it like big the Colombians cut their hands the Colombians grow it now and they said look we got too much money really we we've been doing this for 80 years we're sick of this [ __ ] cutting and governments and helicopters do this come down buy a package take it so like an awesome neighborhood you can buy in the old days see the Colombians in the old days a guy named Carlos Le there went to the Metaline cart toal and said you [ __ ] don't know nothing about trans porting you guys are missing the boat here you guys are just selling it [ __ ] that [ __ ] we're going to sell it transport it take it to the United States cut it sell it again and we're going to take all that profit A to Z we're just not going to make our money in ABC we're going to go A to Z right to the [ __ ] streets we're going to put our people in there this guy was a college educated [ __ ] coke dealer and he went and he bought that Island Barbados whatever the one in blow that's supposed to Carlos laid there he's the one that the Metaline cartel gave him up when Bush wanted something we got to get something guys you guys are down there making millions we got norga you know because they went down and just told Nora it's over give us the keys to your backbook give us your bankbook give us the name of the dealer cuz we're in on that 10% and we're taking everything you're getting you know what you're getting what's behind door number a 20,000 a plane ticket in a yo-yo that's it we always throw in a yo-yo you know what I'm saying what what was nor norga was a known drug trafficker right that was the deal he was running Panama right what the real deal here's the deal with the Colombians the Colombians have a saying what's the saying Brian PLO or PL that's not what I was thinking that means either you're taking a bullet or you're taking cash I know you're
Catholic and you're Christian and your wife goes to church every Sunday but it's either or whatever Pluto or PL so whether you're corrupt or not you either take the money we're going to put a bullet in your head and we're going to replace you with somebody who will take the money I was thinking put some oil on that's what they did to Nora Nora was and then they funneling hundreds of millions of pounds of coke through his Island and let's pretend he's getting a penny of [ __ ] ounce it is a kind of an amazing gangster move though you got to admit bush is a bad [ __ ] all of them I mean if you look at if you just look at human civilization if you looked at it as like a a numbers game and saw the incredible scores the United States has pulled off you know putting uh putting sad Hussein into Power arming him pictures of them shaking his hand you know years later storming a City shooting missiles in hanging I'm on a stairwell all just before they're going to go on 60 Minutes those [ __ ] disapp it's all simulation it's beautiful I think it's amazing I mean look it's it's terrible and it's horrible and it's awful and it's it's it's it's it's disgusting that that's how Humanity works but if you just look at it from like a sheer mathematics standpoint like wow what a it's ones and zeros Joe staggering achievement this one [ __ ] up country has you know has had all over the world that [ __ ] you posted the other day dude it was tripping me out the whole like uh ones and zeros everything's a code and they're finding [ __ ] codes inside the that is a really bizarre I I have to go over that a bunch of times because uh there's a lot of Gaby goop I don't understand it I don't you know I it was it was a Neil Tyson degr is that how you say and uh it was another professor and um I don't remember the other professor's name and I should look that up because it was really fascinating but what I don't understand what what they're pretty much they're finding uh code like computer code in things I can't now that that's the part problem I had trying to figure out like what were the things that they're they're finding the code in but what what they were kind of getting at that for some reason that they're finding that life seems to be a computer code and that we might all be a
sim a simulation of our like ourselves simulating ourselves in like a computer right now yeah this is uh this is by the way this is like really fairly recent too this whole thing you could pull it up and this guy can uh can can say it and we can sort of like figure out what the [ __ ] he means just uh do on YouTube uh strange computer code discovered concealed in super string computer code discovered concealed in super string equations see yeah what the [ __ ] a super string I can't figure that [ __ ] let's let's let's let him talk and then try to ape our way through the the most rudimentary of explanations yeah that that gentleman with the glasses have you ever seen butthole code before we can shape your vision to anything the the opening it was weird yeah let me let me get it's saying what if it really existed meet Professor James Gates Jr theoretical physicist and John EST to Professor of physics at the University of Maryland this is all like on the uh screen with Graphics while working on Super String Theory Professor Gates discovered something very interesting hidden within the equations see for yourself warning the viewers responsible for his own conclusions my channel is not responsible for any potential mental instability this m see are they are they trolling son viewer discretion is advis are they trolling here we go City it's March 7th well partly it's taken to this very strange images that are behind your head right now these are pictures of equations I've been for the last 15 years trying to answer the kinds of questions that my colleagues here have been raising and what I've come to understand is that there are these incred pictures that contain all the information of a set of equations that are related to string theory and it's even more bizarre than that because when you then try to understand these pictures you find out that buried in them are computer codes just like the type that you find in a browser when you go surf the web you're saying your attempt to understand the fundamental operations of nature leads you to a set of equations that are indistinguishable from the equations that drive search engines and browsers on our computers
that is correct so the wa wait I'm still wait I have to just be silent that's where the G yeah let me try it again so you're saying as you dig deeper you find computer code WR in the fabric of the cosmos into the equations that we want to use to describe the cosmos yes computer code computer code strings of bits of ones and zeros it's not just sort of resembles computer code you're saying it is computer code it's not even just is computer code it's a special kind of computer code that was invented by a scientist named Claude Shannon in the 1940s that's what we find vary very deeply inside the equations that occur in string theory and in general in systems that we could say are super symmetric some of those codes are showing on the screen behind you right now they don't look like codes but these pictures which we call adinkras are graphical representations of sets of equations that are based on codes that in the description of our universe that is a super symmetrical Universe which we were going to test in the LHC if you believe that description I can show you the presence of these codes that's my statement do you have any PR um predictions in your ideas or any ways to test any of your ideas any more than say the guy over on the screen the work that I'm doing is in fact so theoretical that we don't we don't understand yet whether it is even possible to complete the program we have found these strange graphs we know that they are equivalent to equations and we have found in these equations computer codes and so that's where we are right now so I cannot give you a prediction this work is less than two years old Jesus Christ I don't understand a [ __ ] word of what he's saying that that was like see the point I do and I don't folks if you're at home screaming listening to this well what he's trying to say quite simply is that the computer that they're using to decipher everything they're finding the the equation the math that they're using to explain the the co it has code in it but that's like that makes no sense very difficult to wrap your head around CU I what what I understand was that he was saying the the computer that they're using to represent all this stuff
they're finding it they're finding a code in it when they're trying to represent it with a computer right I I I don't know what that means I heard like the equations that they're using to explain the string theory or something like that like in those equations they're finding computer code but but like what's an equation is an equation already [ __ ] math yeah I'm not quite sure what they're trying to say by by saying that I'm I'm assuming that it's like as they're following as they're using their computer code the computer represents the universe or represents whatever they're trying to to zero in on then they see a pattern that exists in ones and zeros and they're saying that it's very clear that it's a a specific type a pattern that was uh invented by one certain scientist so so they know exactly what the code should be but what the [ __ ] does that mean or this is a a really hilarious improv comedy class video by well we have to stop I mean sounds stupid right this is like this is one of those weird conversations where you got to go like why are you even bothering to have this conversation but the reality is when you look at some of the video games that are available right now just for your iPad and this this is an incredible leap of say just in my lifetime I I was around when pong came out when we had pong when I was a kid it was the [ __ ] you couldn't believe that you could make something move on the TV and it was a black and white TV by the way we were playing pong and to go from that in our lifetime to what we're seeing now graphically I could only imagine that if you could go A Thousand Years forward from now can you imagine we're going to we we're we're easily going to have some sort of an artificial reality the re the real question is is this it is this the artificial reality of some other reality are we you know are we plugged in somewhere I mean is this really like the [ __ ] Matrix I mean are we in some sort of a uh a perfect state of being able to completely control reality and some distant point the future where we're just locking our Consciousness into these uh crazy scenarios I I when I first heard this when you first tweeted it I I I now find myself trying to do something like to get out of this thing and now I think I'm going crazy like I
was talking to my cat I'm like if you know this is a simulation like like lick your lips right now you know I was doing that kind of test and I don't think it's that easy and but like I'm looking now to see if I can hack if this is a a a reality thing well when you hear stuff like when you hear stuff like this that you don't quite understand but what what they're trying to say essentially is that there's some sort of a code to everything and that it looks like you know like look it looks like even like it possibly has been designed I mean they didn't say that specifically but that you know that if there is a mathematical code to it all not even saying designed by like an entity maybe just designed by Nature you know whatever the [ __ ] it is but you you got to think that they're going to be able to they're going to be able to simulate that eventually they're going to if they can get that they're going to go from that and then they're going to go to the next stage what is the next stage you know how do they take things further how's technology take us further and further down the road till the point where we might one day be living inside a [ __ ] computer program and that [ __ ] might be going on right now yeah it's it's like totally man it's one of those conversations what a [ __ ] trip that will be and what if it's what if it's something like like remember when you were in elementary schoy [ __ ] picking [ __ ] up and stared at it he stared at a USB cable like it other the secrets to the universe we lost we we went way too deep into the what if drawer for Joey do I ate a [ __ ] half a bang chocolate triple bar before I came up here what you guys are scared of me like Star Trek when I was a kid I was always scared of Star Trek the music I would shut that [ __ ] off as long as soon as I heard I [ __ ] shut that TV off I switch on to something what if we come out of this this virtual reality world and it's something like we go back to like third grade when we were having to they're checking us for lice and that's when they started it like they they like they like [ __ ] like put a needle in the back of our neck and then send put us in this pod and then and then like you wake up and you're that kid again
and you're like all right so that's exactly what life is and that's how it could happen you know and stuff wow and you're like thir grade still you know like when somebody goes to you know like when in the sure follow you just just to explain it a little better cuz this is what [ __ ] me up all the time and this is what I see happening that [ __ ] kills me about not being alive and say a 100 years remember in Hannibal and one of those those stupid movies he drew a picture and she came to visit him and she goes did you draw that he goes I drew it from memory and Spider-Man her in the face yeah well it's those migs it's really weird because people do that they go somewhere and they just remember something that they seen from and they draw something from memory which is pretty [ __ ] brilliant especially when you have little things that nobody else would know that means you caught that while you were there you know it's really weird that maybe 30 40 years from now you could put a hat on close your [ __ ] eyes you could go to Italy for the day yeah yeah or forever you're going to go to Italy for the [ __ ] day and come back and it's going to cost you $89 and you're going to get on a bus tour and it's really going to [ __ ] take you have you ever had an experience any sort of a psychedelic experience that you felt like lasted a long time and then you came back and it was like you know you you it would only it had only been like 10 minutes 20 minutes youever had Absol yeah that's what that Ari said Ari said he went somewhere for over a month he said he was I think he said for months he felt like he felt like he had friendships there and he was going to miss people and he was like living in some strange [ __ ] parallel world no Salvia and he said he came back 10 minutes later and he was and he was just completely freaked out it took him so hard it was so hard for him to readjust cuz only 10 minutes had gone by but to him months had gone by so I but we we talked about this on the podcast and I got all these tweets from other people that said they had the exact same thing happen to them mhm you feel like like while it's happening though you have like this weird sense that like hey I know all about this already like I've been here I've felt this before and you know like
that's the craziest part about the DMT experience the craziest part about that is that that same feeling of you you I know this place I know yeah I know this place I know what I'm saying when I first started tripping I'm like tripping with a group when I was 15 14 you tripped with a group right and it's a complete different experience when we all pop it together at 6 we drink beers We Roll 15 joints and smoke them and then 8:30 you're tripping and now you're with friends and you're with warmth right and the the scariest thing for me was going home 12 1:00 because you're by yourself and this is the most important part of the trip is answering your questions to yourself and I'd go home and i' go in and out like i' put a Pink Floyd out my you know Dark Side of the Moon and for two songs I was [ __ ] gone but for two other songs I was there saying to myself wo I got it together now now I'm ready to do own thank God this trip is done and just as how I was getting up that [ __ ] came back to me again that's the difference when you do really good assd now last week I've been working a lot on my knee with the bike you told me stationary bike so I usually go over there 45 an hour and I put on for some reason you know they always say I was cracking jokes at you guys once that sometimes you hide your weed and you don't know where you put it but you get high and you'll find it you know like it's just it's amazing where you're in that Consciousness again [ __ ] I know what my weed is in a [ __ ] car I just remember cuz you're higher again and it's so weird the IDE I was listening to uh bro jogan and Brian this is the weirdest thing that happened I went early and I had gotten up and I smoked and I had a great breakfast and I went to the thing and I put on uh no quarter by lead Zeppelin live and he's got a piece in there that's Jimmy pige playing the guitar that right there it answers all your questions about life and I'll never forget while I was sitting there riding the bike I'm high and it took me to where I was and I remember that it wasn't a [ __ ] it wasn't a [ __ ] uh it was at a guy gun Brown's house that studded gun Brown if you ask me again I'm knock you down he was like this dirty white guy but was a millionaire his father invented the the Dixie cup with the jokes or something
and this guy was basically a junkie like you go over there and he'd say you want your dick suck I got a chick that'll suck your dick while you're ticking the [ __ ] like he always had weird dirty white women over there one time I went over I'm like 177 and I did a line of white heroin and he goes I got to go run an era and I'll be back and he left that album on and I remember that I was sitting up but in my mind I was in my fetal position and I was in my mother's womb and I could hear her heartbeat and even though I was all I could hear was Jimmy Pig's guitar and every time I would straighten up I would see people there not judging me it was the [ __ ] warmth of the room and the warmth was just amazing it was too much and one corner was like Buddha the other Corner was like Jesus every corner was like a god that I didn't even know like a Hindu a Korean with a [ __ ] sword and they weren't there judging me they were just there waiting for something and I remember I would go into the womb and come out of the womb and every time I go into the womb and come out Jimmy Page would keep playing that [ __ ] guitar and I could hear my mother's heartbeat my mother was dead this time so what your psyche taking over that [ __ ] trip and I could hear and every time I would pop up I would see every woman that ever came into my life dog whether I knew them or not your lunch woman your first grade teacher the [ __ ] nurse that delivered you to your mother's hands and all of a sudden dog I remember the the Virgin Mary came out doing a strip [ __ ] teas and this is where I was I'm in this [ __ ] thing and I don't want to look at the Virgin Mary's [ __ ] but she takes off her [ __ ] unies and I'll never forget that her [ __ ] was like a picture of me at that age and there was a guy sitting and the whole time I'm sitting there in this wound position but there's a guy with his back to me going you don't need the answers they got for you I got the real [ __ ] answers to your problems and at that time you're going I don't need your help [ __ ] the virgin marri's in front of me I got the answer [ __ ] and I remembered that heroin trip how I never I cleaned up after that for about a month cuz it was so real and it was eight hours of that
did he said the Virgin Mary's [ __ ] was him as a child as a me it was like me with a little afro and I was like what the and I forgot that for 20 [ __ ] years look my balls are itching you know what I'm saying That's How Strong that [ __ ] story no wonder I always want to touch you I never [ __ ] and I didn't do it for years after that like I was like that's a little too [ __ ] strong that's why when you guys talk about that DMT warmth SM that warmth is universal like that when you're there at that other level of Consciousness and you're tripping you're in deep Waters but something's telling you you're right okay it's very loving the I mean I people who have bad trips um you know I don't know what your particular chemistry is but a lot of it I I do believe and is you know I'm no expert clearly I do believe a lot of it is [ __ ] that's [ __ ] with them already and it's overdosing it could be that no a bad trip is basically somebody somebody trying to control it you tell what a bad trip is seeing yourself oh okay it's all it is because when you but then how come some people do it a few times and they enjoy it and then they they'll do it one time and have a bad trip because they seen themselves but they do it the first couple times sure because we did it in a circle we didn't go home and the phone rang and you seen your face in the mirror [ __ ] melting that's why no mirror in my house you felt and you felt warmed and you you sat down and all a sudden you feel like eating and you don't and all a sudden you start thinking of your childhood and where you were wrong and all the secrets that you have inside of you and now they're in front of you and you got to deal with them Ah that's your bad [ __ ] trip that's your bad [ __ ] trip that is what it is it's really you got a lot of [ __ ] up [ __ ] in your own life that you you you you don't appreciate getting illuminated and it's freaking you out it's it's yourself it's when you trip that's I only say for my personal experiences that's been my personal experience when I've had a bad trip it's always been a and I haven't had anything that was really bad but I've had some pot ones that were I had a few pot moments when I first started smoking where I just got way too blasted and I
just couldn't swim yet I didn't know what I was doing yet and I was just getting overwhelmed by these waves because what would happen was um when when you whenever you're in even a mild psychedelic like pot what it does is it sort of brings you into some different place and if you're trying to resist that in any way if you're trying to fight that in any way or control it in any way it's going to overwhelm you especially if you take enough if you take enough to get paranoid and freaked out the reason why it's so effective like you can learn so much from it is the same reason why it's so impactful when it happens while you while you can't control it it's just slipping away from you and you'll get overwhelmed with these like self-realizations and it could have been it could be from [ __ ] from a decade ago man absolutely it could be an old an old girlfriend where you said one cruel thing 15 20 years ago and you feel like a douchebag today you know things that you said when you were 15 can haunt you I mean i' I've had that happen but I think that's all like to get you to look at yourself in a in a in a really honest way it's there it's very difficult for us to do I think most of us like to you know put our blinders on put our blinders on and just sort of stumble through this and make it look as pretty as it possibly can along the way and pretend you know pretend that we're doing everything correctly but to really like assess you know it's it's almost like forcing yourself to go to school on yourself you know people don't want to do any more school work than they already have to you know if that's if I can get off work at 5:00 and I'm done for the day there's no more thinking done there's your self-improvement suck my dick I'm going to sleep you know give me my ambient stop yelling at me you know and I think uh I think that's that's that's a part of it too I think people or uh a lot of people are just too tired to try to improve themselves you know you know it's funny that we you always talk about your waska and all that stuff in reality if you really look into it you're a smart guy if you really look into the coka plant it started out as a mild hallucinogenic that kind of gave you a little bit of energy yeah well the the the people in high altitudes they chew the leaves they chew
the leaves and it's apparently it's healthy for you you know those guys I read some those guys live to 80 90 they work under the sun altitude really high up thereo it's we it's us that destroyed this drug you know we put into the powder formam and all this [ __ ] and then what do they do how do they take it they take it out of the cocoa leaves and then they somehow or another how does it become a white powder it becomes a paste and then they put it on this [ __ ] block I've never processed it you can't get that experience from the cocoa Leaf right you have to break it down to the white powder but I will tell you charge I do know one thing I did blow in the 80s and in the late '70s and the blow that's on the street now it's two complete different highs really yeah in the 70s it was uh in in the early ' 80s it was cocaine it wasn't processed it was no fillers there was no pink slime you know what I'm saying there was made feel great it was it was bro it didn't [ __ ] make people lose their houses because it made them feel bad the problem with cocaine it was the marketing it wasn't cocaine that was so good it was the marketing we've discussed this the marketing was brilliant they gave it to people who had a lot of money and musicians and athletes and they gave people that were poor or mid 20 minutes of feeling important oh my God in the 80s everybody was sniffing that's how a lot of athletes apparently get hooked after they stop stop uh competing you know they they like Miss a charge you know they miss something and then they'll start hanging around with people who party and you know that's all a sudden now they're getting it out of a lot of boxers stop ended their life that way Sunny Liston Sunny Liston ended his life that way a lot of guys did they uh they would just start doing drugs Joe Lewis I'm pretty sure he started doing drugs the [ __ ] spark is gone see the artificial spark and the artificial spark isn't as good sugar it's like civia [ __ ] sugar that ain't as good had a problem yeah putting on stockings and [ __ ] like that getting coked up too I mean that I put on stockings one night with a chck were you coked up to the [ __ ] yeah she suck my dick but I didn't take no pictures everybody was
saying that Oscar de is gay and I'm like no Oscar de Hoy does coke okay what are you talking about just because he's wearing he's hanging out with girls man do you understand he's hanging stupid hot Russian strippers and he's he's coked out of his mind wearing women's clothes you refuse to believe that he's been married he might be but I don't believe so he's been married for 10 years he's been [ __ ] with a sheet on for seven he goes to New York and some Russian chicks puts a [ __ ] that Chernobyl tongue in his [ __ ] you know that Chernobyl tongue turns the [ __ ] lights out on you you'll be waiting online for toilet paper you know what I'm saying he [ __ ] went bananas bro we just it just happens in our society and what are you going to do it's funny with Greg that night we were talking about what cocaine did you know with acid and pills nobody lost their [ __ ] house in the 70s you smoke the journey it was $2 right all of a sudden cocaine came and people were losing their [ __ ] homes and what so so you break it down the experience that you get from chewing the leaves you can't get that cocaine Rush no not like that you only get like a little mild chewing the leaves so the only way to get it into your blood the way the cocaine I heard it's very good if you keep eating the [ __ ] leaves you'll get high you know but you won't get high like coked up maybe you have to eat like a whole salad you'll take the positive side of it I think you get like the euphoric without that [ __ ] [ __ ] it's just like a speed buds yeah like that euphoric Wonder Man I me it's not even unhealthy for you it's really bizarre that that becomes cocaine which is like terrible for people I've seen you know we've all seen a lot of people have cocaine problems and it's a [ __ ] nightmare just it's terrible I had an ex-girlfriend a real real problem with it man she was scared she was scared that someone could bring it up at a party cuz she wouldn't be able to say no they're the most annoying people cads this is when I first moved to LA and uh the only thing I knew about uh cocaine was all negative from Boston and I just gotten done being in this situation where I had to kind of get away from a dude that I knew was was selling it and
he was dangerous andon yeah yeah yeah and um so right when I came here and I started dating this chick and she was telling me that she had this this cocaine thing like she she she liked it and she didn't like how much she liked it it like made her really nervous and I and I was like why she's like well I could just see myself just completely [ __ ] up my life for that stuff and I was like why and she was a very smart girl and she would uh if she would go to a party she said she would get scared if someone pulled it out she get scared hey bro once some people get going they get [ __ ] going you know apparently man especially girls I have a friend I I don't I've I've never done Coke never but I have a friend who did it and started doing it just because of girls that's how he got into it cuz girls like it he said dude he goes girls will go crazy when you do coke with them he goes they go crazy so that's why he started doing coke they go I don't even like it they go [ __ ] bananas why is that why you get and if you get the perfect pigeon like you get the perfect one that just gets Crazy by 4:00 when you whip out that second gram you know when they're walking around naked they're playing with that [ __ ] and they're putting Coke rocks in their nipples right it's [ __ ] crazy and you see this and you're like wow wow and how they suck dick how different it is the [ __ ] like they get into it they'll [ __ ] stop and mid suck and give me another line to get some energy and they'll suck that pipe for another 20 minutes that pip that ain't going to come you ain't going to come so how long do they suck your dick for 40 minutes and then they drink a beer they eat a sandwich and they're back on that helmet another 40 minutes you want to [ __ ] snort you got to suck this [ __ ] Piper de ain't nothing coming out either so you basically are giving them a a a blank you're shooting a blank at them for like an hour and a half sour [ __ ] blank that they do get at the end it doesn't even shoot out it just drips down your dick like why what is it about F that keeps you from coming I don't [ __ ] know it's the mechan I remember when I the mechanism I I remember when I got locked up you know when you're wait online to go to the doctor like it once
you get to prison they had all these things on a on a on a billboard like you know uh be careful of hepatitis B [ __ ] like that then they had newspaper articles on coke and they had you know in the [ __ ] 80s people were shooting Coke into their dick after like two days they go [ __ ] it what can I do to enhance this [ __ ] I've already lit her on fire I killed one hooker I've come 80 times I got a big bag of blow left I'll shoot it in my dick directly and then their legs would go [ __ ] like they have to get rushed to the hospital they lose a leg you know you have a heart and before Viagra and whatever in the 80s people in their Deep Mind were thinking that if you [ __ ] put Coke rocks in your dick trust me I was one of them if I would have taken needles if I would have been able to take needles I would have shot Coke in my dick a couple nights that's how crazy you have a [ __ ] Coke [ __ ] a crazy one sprinkled on her [ __ ] oh you lick that [ __ ] you tell them you show them that coke oh and you put that sprinkl it on their [ __ ] fck you lick that [ __ ] till it's BEC numb then you put some on your helmet you put some in your pee hole you put a Coke Rock in your pee hole tell that b to sucking out it's all over what you put a Coke Rock in your pee hole like you load it up like a spitball right like a spitball like a cannon and then they suck it but the wetness it gets all gooey and [ __ ] like that okay so what is it about doing coke that makes people just become crazy just makes people freaky and makes people just what is the feelings I've never experienced it I don't want to know you want the the original the middle or the last result any the above the be the beginning it's like getting laid for the first time if somebody opens Pandora either you like it or you don't like a foreigner song but what happens is socially socially socially once you do it it lifts you lifts you it lifts you to a different level of people like you think that's how it gets you it's like anything else Joe Rogan gambling how do you get a listen doc I want a lift I want I never had biceps doc okay I want a shot to help me get biceps you shoot a [ __ ] shot next thing you know you got a bicep your shoulders next thing you know you at the doctors every week shooting [ __ ] steroids how does it start it
all starts beautiful it's like a marriage you go on the honeymoon they suck your dick honey honey after a year Monday Night Football you don't want to talk to them no more it's just like anything else the drug turn it's beautiful to beginning you're meeting people oh my God they're so interesting they're coked up they're having art parties and [ __ ] then it becomes something different then it becomes taking the package home with you because at first you go out me and Bri Brian you got 20 yeah let's little 40 boom we go out at the end of the night see you tomorrow bye then it becomes something else Brian let's get another 40 and go back to your house let's get another 40 you know then we go back to his house and we get another 40 then it becomes something else now you're missing work you know your bank account is [ __ ] down now you're on a roll you know now you hook up with a chick that's completely out your character why because when you give her a rock of coke she licks your [ __ ] she lights your ball sack on fire she does that there's nothing even emotional about it Joe Rogan there's no you don't even like this chick in a daytime you don't even like her day time but when you're doing coke she's fun she'll talk to you you know whatever and a lot of guys like just the fact that a girl will go degenerate with them as well them sure nobody wants to go down a dark Street they always take somebody down dark streets and then it becomes something like after 20 years for me it becomes creepy it it becomes it becomes your underlying motive you wake up in the mo in the morning you're thinking of that joke you're thinking of going to Tennessee tomorrow but I'm also thinking how am I going to bring Coke with me how am I going to stay clean am I going to get it tonight and double up for the week I just get really [ __ ] up today that'll take me over till you start take me over till when you say that like what would happen like how many days could you go before you get like a a physical craving three three days in those days three four I got a craving every night at 8:00 at 8:00 my [ __ ] ears would go numb like Michael colone and The Godfather when he shot zazo you know what I'm saying my ears go numb right I could bro
I was I was thinking about it the other day you know I used to run red lights until I got to the ATM machine what even while I was taking the money out of the ATM machine I was a different person there was no logic it's like that joke you do about sitting in the back of the bus M and the bus driver is your dick you know like I had no logic even if God was right there saying Joey you're 400 lb you're going to die yeah I had no logic that whole Drive I had no logic I would make the u-turn on Sunset no logic make a right on the brass shoot right over the Dante and get the package and on the drive I'd be crack now I'd stop for red lights now I got my focus back now I would because I needed a red light to break it up so I would break it up right there right there put break it up where cuz it comes in a rock and I would break it up in my hand in a baggie so you would like you put your fingers inside the baggie or on theide steal the baggie and break it from the outside crush it crush it if it's it's reck Coke then it's hard then it's a fugazi you got to get the hammer out but if it's real coke it's soft it should break first [ __ ] and then you just put a dollar bill there is that how you can tell whether or not the coke is good yeah absolutely but it's really hard to get real coke sure cut it they put speed in it now is that amazing if you that's what deregulation is ladies and gentlemen when when you we don't regulate something and you make it illegal then a bunch of different people are allowed to cut it up and do whatever the [ __ ] they want to do with it and call it cocaine but you couldn't do this it would all be completely illegal if it was being sold at CVS you know if you could set buy it at the liquor store if I could just buy a leaf I wonder if like regular cocaine how bad is regular cocaine for you without all the the [ __ ] is it just as addictive dog it's got to be like anything else Chinese food is good for you one time every two weeks but if you do it cocaine can be good for you I'm sure that if I'm sure in this Society there's a Coke feiend scientist somewhere that could find one positive effect of cocaine you and I both know that I I tell you one positive effect it had for me while I was doing it I wasn't
addd no more really it's amazing you focus on [ __ ] Shadows I was good at math I would love to do math equations when I was coked up really and mind [ __ ] you know I'm not a mind [ __ ] you know if you come to me and go what if Anderson Silva fought Muhammad Ali go [ __ ] your mother I ain't got time to figure that puzzle out I got more important things like a jokeer you know but you mind [ __ ] yourself like what if I went on the road every week and made 10 grand and sold 300 t-shirts like I would do [ __ ] like that like and you know like [ __ ] like that like and do math like that for hours like it's got nothing to do with me but I was get so analytical you get so analytical I think about [ __ ] that I was thinking about and break it down the same thing you do with acid the same thing you do with mushrooms you know when you have when you take a mushroom room if you're a normal [ __ ] individual if you have some type of pain going on in your heart right now after an hour of giggling and joking around that Pain's going to start to come up cuz it's forcing you to deal with it that's where the bad trip comes in and it the same thing probably happens for Coke it happens for heroin I mean dog everything you know if if I do two squats twice a week that's great for you if I do it six times a week with 400 lb I'm going to [ __ ] something up eventually right everything Joe Rogan you know there's the but the Coke experience is very different than the coke cut with speed experience right the coke experience I had in the 80s and the coke experience I had five years ago is two different things when did it uh I mean how there's no way to tell like until you do it right I think Coke chains I think the coke chains in mid 80 when they figured out that the speed aspect of it would would get you addicted oh well they figured out because so you get addicted to the speed you're not even getting addicted to the coke as much Wings wa that is crazy so once they started throwing the speed in and the accelerance in there you know crack is he Koke was a Koch was a loser for a while because they couldn't smoke the Bush Administration couldn't they weren Bush they weren't letting uh uh ether into the that was the biggest problem it wasn't getting we've had this discussion
we couldn't get it out so they they they started washing it with gasoline so that coke had a horrible smell to it like you do a line and go Jesus Christ like some of it was like I remember one time I went and bought a bad buy I bought 9 oz the coke was tremendous but it smelled like cat piss and I would sell it at bargain prices and people would still come back like Joey I love you but this is brutal dog this is pure cat piss pure cat piss I ended up snor the whole thing and had like some I burnt holes under here you know how football players put those black marks under their eyes I had two pink things under here from the [ __ ] whatever was coming out was just burning my [ __ ] skin but [ __ ] it it was free I had already paid for it I didn't know that you you know what a lot of that's when cocaine became a no loser because if the coke was good you sold it at high prices and if it tasted like a monkey's ass then you turned it into crack and it burned all the residue and it gave you back the pure cocaine that's crazy what a who the [ __ ] figured that out not two black guys in Harlem you follow what I'm saying to you this is what a conversation you know no no black guy Brian no black guy or no [ __ ] Coke f is going to go home and go listen Brian we got $40 worth Coke I'm sick and tired of snorting it what if we put it in a glass and we put baking soda in there and we put it in the microwave OV it and cook it up and in 20 seconds once that Bell goes Bing we take it out we smoke it two white guys on coke didn't invent that the but the that creating crack what is it why is what does the baking soda have to do with anything because it it cleans baking soda like when you put it in your refrigerator you can put it in douches [ __ ] you could brush your [ __ ] teeth with it the be what be whatever's in there it neutralizes it burns away all the waste so all the [ __ ] they put in there like if you put a gram a Coke in and you get after you take it out weigh that [ __ ] again you get 610 now is that crack or is that free base that's like a free base but you can take that that thing and put it into cigarettes a lot of Colombians would just take the front of the cigarettes out and pop those in their clubs and you think they're smoking a cigarette they're smoking pure [ __ ]
Bazookas and them cigarettes them things are them things are killing the cancer wow so how what is the difference then between crack and free base what is it how does they did something with crack to multiply it even more to make it more addictive no no to make it more to make more to make more money from it it was really cheap yeah because I didn't understand that that with baking soda I thought that's what it was in a spoon like no that's the [ __ ] the other [ __ ] the [ __ ] they do with they put in a in a paint thing and it with thinner and you know like from an let's say I don't even know what what you got 28 grams in an ounce so 16 ounces times 28 whatever that is a regular Coke a regular person would throw uh 10 on 128 so you would throw 16 * 10 160 gram of cut on it or something this is what I'm just assuming right with crack you could probably throw gram for gram so I could probably get whatever the result is for 28 time 16 and add it and neutralize it to 50% and I get you know with heroin with Heroin the mob didn't do nothing everybody so the mom the [ __ ] morons they just figured out how to take heroin and pay 50,000 and get a 400,000 back from it imagine that I if I figured out how to give you 50 grand every week and on Friday I picked up 400,000 wow how are they doing that because they were taking heroin and cutting it to nothing do you seen like an American Gangster of the cops who taking the heroin cutting it and selling it back to the Mob then the mob was cutting it and selling it this is [ __ ] craziness this is what Alex Jones talks about J they would just take but heroin even at 40% will [ __ ] your world up isn't it amazing when you find out how many cops actually have sold drugs and been caught by it remember the Cocaine Cowboys with the whole entire one entire graduating class of the Miami Police Department the uh whatever it is the uh what's the not not the um what what is it the the training school yeah Police Academy 100 100% of them either were murdered or wound up being incarcerated for being corrupt well see but what happened at the time was Miami got a gun put to their head like any other any other community spicks were moving in Latinos were everywhere Cubans
were everywhere in 1979 you know Fidel sent [ __ ] 98 boats filled with Cubans and 94 of them stayed in Miami how much was cocaine responsible for what Miami became oh my God it was built on it this cocon Grove where I'm going they had an investigative with Bill Curtis cocon grow was a place where Pirates used to hang out in the 1700 great story where I'm going and that whole city is built on cocaine I know a guy construction who lived down there for a while and he told me I don't know if this is a verifiable fact but there's more Banks per capita in Miami than any other city in the country that makes sense just set up Banks money and bringing in cocaine so in the 80s when that thing went on with those cops the city got the gun put to their head they're like bro you got all these Latinos and you got no Latin on the police force you got to put more cops in the police for in a hurry Jes before this gets out of hand so they didn't even do background checks oh my God they sealed all their juvie records and they hide all these cops and they had four cops right the cowboy cops that were just pulling you over taking your drugs and throwing you into the river that's what they call the river cops the river cops I remember me and Joe were in Coconut Grove the week one of them got let out of jail and he got a job as a cook and the whole Community signed petitions to not it was at a cafe called Mambo down there for him not to be hired in the community cuz he killed a bunch of [ __ ] people I mean they weren't like killing people because they did something wrong to them they were just pulling you over shooting you and throwing you in the [ __ ] River how did he get out of jail how's that possible did that time whoa that's silly that's silly that's a murderer they got arrested they got arrested an 85 and they were walking the streets and how many people did they kill though they should be dead I don't know you got look you kill a bunch of people you're dead you don't get out of jail that's ridiculous that's nonsense I'm liberal about a lot of [ __ ] I'm liberal about gay marriage but about that you could suck my dick that needs to be done well bro the system has his [ __ ] loopholes you know reality let's say he did 14 [ __ ] years like that's what it is they give him a 30-year [ __ ] sentence
or 20e sentence they give you 20 year sentence you do 10 and then you go in front of the parole board and the parole board votes on you to get out the street or not and a violent offense that's true why is Manson released because who the [ __ ] is going to release him crazy this guy goes in front of the parole board and waxs off with a Nazi thing on his forehead where you going to who's going to hire that [ __ ] guy who's going to hire him what what social security benefit does he [ __ ] have that guy yeah he was awesome what what are you going to do I am your Jesus you made me man I lived off your garbage I lived in your streets man he was a spooky see that's the dude you had to be a Salesman he talked to all those [ __ ] at shoot shooting people cutting them yeah by the way people don't even realize that he didn't kill anybody he might have killed one guy but almost everybody in that whole organization was killed by that Tex Watson guy who went on to yeah and squeaky FR who tried to kill President Ford I had a dog named squeaky FR who wound up killing one of my other dogs oh yeah squeaky yeah that crazy [ __ ] the last name of squeaky yeah crazy dogs yeah that whole Manson thing was a trip cuz he didn't even really kill anybody man those those other people killed people for that Tex Watson guy and that Tex Watson guy became like a serious born again Christian while he's in the hole you know it's probably the only way he can ever rationalize his situation and where he's going I mean and what he did murder those people they cut a baby out of a woman's body you know that's what made supposedly made Roman palansky crazy that was his wife or his uh his girl I don't know if they were married I think it was his wife uh but she had uh his his baby inside of her and the [ __ ] Manson F and came and cut her out I mean it's really it's a really sick [ __ ] man it's the whole thing is really sick I mean wrote wrote [ __ ] on the walls and stuff and you know it's like really it's a it's a scary scary dark proposition that some little crazy psychopath was able to talk these people into just committing just horrible murders for him some sick [ __ ] figured out a way to control these people and get all these lost people together and just unleash them you know and they were a family like what a crazy
[ __ ] thing that must have been man could you imagine first first of all Charles mansy could have never existed without with Google that [ __ ] would have never worked cuz he would have been talking crazy [ __ ] and girls would have been pulling out their phones going wait a minute that's not true you know this is how it's it's done the government set up this way know the Congress controls this but back then he could say anything you know he was just a charismatic guy and they were looking for guidance next thing you know Charlie Manson's the [ __ ] daddy of the family you know what this weird crazy little wild xon is the the lead of this group of [ __ ] Psychopaths they're running around cutting people up and that sort of symbolized for a lot of people what was wrong with the 60s that's what symbolized for a lot of people what was wrong with the drug culture and the hippies that there was you know amongst them there were they weren't all altruistic there's a lot of hippies that were just [ __ ] crazy and drug use had to be stopped cuz some people just couldn't take it look at the Manson family and that was like a good you know re reason for justification like that those that one group of [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] ruined it for a lot of people you know dog but you can't blame it all on drugs it was it was a bunch of kids it's like we sit here every week and you know how do people get caught up in a cult how do people you know my reason why they get caught up in gangs how does how does my friend's parents were in Mexico going to school their white couple from Michigan educated good families went to Mexico got talked into moving to Pennsylvania and moving into a cult then they started having kids with the cult leader the guy started [ __ ] the wife when does it what what hold do you have in your soul when you're you're you're DNA that you allow that into you and that's any cult whether it's Jim Jones whether it's a religious uh uh sector we're all looking for a hold to fill well that was that [ __ ] hole that they had to go kill [ __ ] people at night because some guy sent them I mean it's a bunch of people that were confused that ran into a [ __ ] salesman when people run into a Salesman it's a bad [ __ ] day for you they ran into a Salesman again the guy
might have killed one [ __ ] person I ain't killing nobody unless Joe Rogan I see him stab somebody first then give me the knife I'm stab cuz we're all going down here and you're going to send me to go ice some [ __ ] guy because the Lord sent you you know Dave Kesh you know these people fill a void joog it's not the drugs the drugs accelerates the [ __ ] weakness to a point because they're confused now they're [ __ ] confused you know I was essentially in a cult cuz I was in uh and when you're doing martial arts it's positive cult when but you get involved in something like taekwondo one of the great things about it is it teaches you discipline and respect for your higher ranks and all this stuff but in in in reality it's just weird it it's like this I mean it's all this really controlled environment where you you know the the master is there and oh Master Kim and you have to bow to the master and you know the younger students they bow to you and everyone's in line and everything is yes sir yes sir I mean if you it's all positive and you learn a lot from don't get me wrong I mean it it greatly enh enhanced My Life Martial Arts completely changed who I am but when you look at it there's a lot of culty [ __ ] to it you know it's not like Brazilian jiu-jitsu the instructors they they get respect more just by rolling with people and explaining techniques and by their reputation this that they don't have to go in and Jesus and everybody bow everybody bows in class and lines up and turn it's very militaristic you know we would bow to the flag and bow to the instructor and key ey and you know and everything would be everything would be done you know with like this intensity and focus cocaine what's you want no I just got to ask him something keep talking interrup you br I interrupt you but you know it's very culty it's it's a good thing it was a great thing for me but it could be abused and I knew it was abused not with my school but I saw with other schools it was there was always scandals like an instructor was did something [ __ ] up or one guy in the karate what are you guys talking about a [ __ ] charger this guy's got everything for my phone that's why I was playing with your wi brother oh that's where iPhone DS no you you got a thousand [ __ ] wies you got to go
iPhone son resistance got the iPhone I I who has I like that I like that uh you look at it it's kind of C at that age you know saying it was a very positive cult but it's very positive but I was very lucky that the cult that I had not only did they not take advantage of me and doing anything negative to me but in fact they enhanced me they taught me a lot of discipline and they gave me a job and they gave me like instruction for like I trained at a place called The J Jun Kim Taekwondo Institute in Boston and it's one of the best experiences of my life when I say it's a cult I in no way mean that anything negative happened to me because of it was only positive but we were in a really good school we were like one of the best schools in the country we we saw and it was everything was done the way it was supposed to be everything was done with like real serious intent it was a top class Taekwondo school but there was a lot of other karate schools and taekwondo schools that were in the martial arts Community we watched like big scandals happen and it was a lot of it was because people would get into that position of power and they would start abusing him because everybody treated their their sefue their Sensei their whoever it was they treated him like they were a God and there was a a lot of like sex scandals would happen in martial arts schools it was like super common you know one guy got in trouble really famous guy got in trouble for having sex with some 17-year-old girl it became like a big statutory rape thing it was like real common that people were like completely enamored by their instructors it's one of the reasons why in a lot of those Arts the instructors like wanted to keep everyone down and scared they had to be almost Invincible in your eyes because otherwise you're moving up the ladder and if are you the top black belt in the school well then the instructor is the only guy that's left that you're really not really sparring with you know how do you think you do with him man he doesn't really spar with anybody man what is his timing like even you know can I can I beat that guy and you start think thinking those things you never think that way about your instructor in in a proper School setting because the the the seniors and the the upper ranks and your instructor
they become like they become a father figure they become like you know a king you know it becomes like it's very important to to give in to their you know their uh their order you know and he call them sir all the time it's very culty but it's really good for you you know what this country does not remember neither do you cuz you're a young man I'm an old man I was alive before Bruce Lee died I was alive I was I was dressed up when he what year did he he died in 73 but I was part of that walking around with a Kung Fu suit on and going to Chinatown and burning incense in the house and eating rice with chopsticks and my mom's like are you [ __ ] serious are you [ __ ] crazy and I remember when he died the sad like people couldn't believe it it was like John lennin [ __ ] died and what happened after that with martial arts you know when I was a kid I went to uh lano's father ranjo whatever and that was a school on 98 on West End that was the only school for Miles guy you talking about ran you know and all of a sudden martial arts blew up like karate schools in the 60s in this country 10 Five Fingers of Death came out you know the Chinese connection Enter the Dragon not way before CU he died after the movie got released but a year before the Enter the Dragon came out you know black guys were losing their mind they were all walk around with Kung Fu suits white guys everybody who had bruised elbow because everybody had new Chucks you either had bruises in the back of your [ __ ] neck or because you know you had to do when colado the Hong Kong cat came out he had new Chucks and he would put copper tubes at the end for plumbing and that's when people were really [ __ ] starting to hurt themselves that was around 74 after Bruce Lee died then everybody started taking out Bruce Lee step aside Bruce Lee and make way for karado the Hong Kong cat all that [ __ ] started but I was here in this country and what happened so people thought it was a [ __ ] savior like finally I can learn how to fight finally I can learn confidence let me tell you something it only becomes a cult when you walk out that door thinking you're Invincible that's when it becomes a cult and you've seen it in those taekwan no schools and I I see it happen to girls
they get caught up something bad happens they go in there and by the time they're a purple belt they're like I could actually take a [ __ ] guy oh they get crazy no you can't well there's a lot of lot of women I think especially in Jiu-Jitsu that purple belts probably could take a no they could [ __ ] take you I'm not cult it becomes a cult when I go out there and go you know what I'm going to go to a White Castle at 2 in the morning I'm going to take out four [ __ ] right that's when it becomes a cult I don't want you to ever think that you're experienced a little bit more than most people when striking and stuff like that but I never want you to think it's really a Kung Fu mov where you're going to go into a Steven S people shoot people man people stab people you get hit with a chair in the head good night o oh no more eye reality is a [ __ ] reality somebody takes a stick out that's not class by by the way everybody's doing that 90% of those things happen because someone's trying to prove something and if you didn't if you just like assess the situation instead of thinking oh I'm going to prove this [ __ ] I'm going to show this [ __ ] what's up instead of doing that just think smart just get out of there what you if this if these were hyenas would you stay no they're human hyenas get out of there you're in a situation whenever you're in a situation if it can possibly be avoided that you don't fight don't fight the last thing you want to do is open up that door to negativity you know you beat someone physically first of all they beat you it's horrific and you're at their Mercy by the way and that could happen mati ain't there always remember this ain't the UFC with masatti and uh Joe whatever's going to come out they some people I've known a lot of dudes who thought they were absolutely Invincible they thought they were absolutely Invincible they didn't stand up to anybody nobody could talk [ __ ] to them and then they get the [ __ ] beat out of them one night you know you might [ __ ] up and all of a sudden you know you get in a fight and you don't know that this kid is like a state champion wrestler and he picks you up the air and bups you on your [ __ ] head on the concrete and you're [ __ ] up for a long
time I mean guys can die from that [ __ ] he could punch you I mean who knows how merciful this guy is he might start punching your [ __ ] face in while you're unconscious and you can't do [ __ ] imagine that waking up to multiple concussions and your nose exploding on your face and you're not even waking up you just shocks of images your body can't even move cuz this [ __ ] gorilla is pounding your face into a pan that's all really possible man you know why I used to see that stupid fighting is stupid you know why I used to see L unless you want to do it for living you know where I used to see a lot of people get knocked out the Jersey Shore oh yeah the Jersey Shore I used to see some good fights with just sitting there you likey wild I wonder what it's like now but when we used to go down there and do Bob Gonzo gigs holy [ __ ] that place was wild Jersey Shore is wild it's like a Beach Community but of all Savages it's like 90% Savages Seaside Seaside Park Beach Long Beach Island you have no idea right it's a [ __ ] blast but now the beaches are packed Bumper to Bumper you got people on top of you people put makeup on it's like everybody's [ __ ] uh Kim Kardashian to go to the [ __ ] beach well they don't understand they see a show like Jersey Shore and they are baffled baffled like how are these [ __ ] on TV and we're not what the [ __ ] is going on we're more interesting guys so everybody's trying to you know find their angle in it's it's I mean and who I don't blame him [ __ ] man if I Liv there I'd probably be trying to do the exact same thing you know why not [ __ ] you see these people all a sudden they're making millions of dollars and they're essentially doing the same [ __ ] you do and you got to work all day that's preposterous you know to them it must be like mindboggling Snookie must blow there must be a lot of hot [ __ ] in Jersey that would just attack Snookie if they ever saw her they like feel like that girl's stealing from them you know like how is this [ __ ] girl she thinks she's hot oh my God she's [ __ ] hot now she's pregnant who [ __ ] her who [ __ ] if they saw me if the [ __ ] producers had met me for sure I'd be on that show for sure I'd be on that chn that [ __ ] that angry Jersey [ __ ] squacky girl that angry Italian girl
type is that the most unattractive It's a combination between the angry Italian girl from Boston and the angry Italian girl from Jersey that that's very specific squawky sort of violence threatening and the piece of ass ain't even that good at not even that good there's a lot of complaining going on there's a lot of complaining some girls even when you know it gets to the point where actually having you know like if if you if you try to get to a a relationship with them you start dating them go out them a few times Get Closer Closer Closer is this going to be there like sometimes you got to wonder is this going to be worth it like what's going on here like someone before you before you actually have sex with them they're like holding it over you like it's this reward that one day will take place if you do exactly as I say do what I need and those girls would scare the [ __ ] out of me like why are you so controlling you crazy [ __ ] do we like each other or not can you imagine this Jersey Shore if we had to live in the middle of that me you and Joey Diaz [ __ ] like a two-bedroom apartment and we had to in the middle of we to work at the nightclub that's next door all three of us had to do it for a year wow what it would be an experiment we would all [ __ ] Squad goes to Jersey Shore we all go crazy we might be able to teach them some [ __ ] those kids are going those those Jersey Shore kids are [ __ ] crazy I have seminars with those kids all day I teach them about eating weed yeah for real Teall teach him about yoga eat with that those those guys eat start jit I think you would start wearing b ball they shoot and they LIF twice a week they LIF twice a week and they just work on their biceps BR into the gym it's amazing bro they're [ __ ] nuts give them some free Jiu-Jitsu lessons show them some [ __ ] about how the country really works get them to eat weed have you ever change them we can turn them around have you ever worn a bandana like on your head like like like Bruce Springsteen like yeah I probably tried it once or twice it's uh I think I tried it once at the gym because a lot of dudes wearing them at the gym let's bring it back but it's really stupid because it just slides up because I'm expressive so I move my forehead a lot and it just slides up and
then it falls off your head we should make a stretchy bandana that's like comfortable I've always hated accessories for guys dog um I like wallet chains people [ __ ] about having wallet chains [ __ ] is functional I'm talking about like [ __ ] people get dressed up to go to the gym or the beach and they like the accessories like get the [ __ ] out of here if I see hot chick in a hat and the ponytail is going through the thing it's too planned well we're East Coast anybody that tries too hard was always a douchebag any guy shows up at the beach with a [ __ ] parrot on his shoulder what are you doing [ __ ] you know who are you you know guy's walking through the park with a snake oh this is my pet snake whoa can I touch it who are you you [ __ ] weirdo you know what I mean like when someone tried really hard to be eccentric it's always like get the [ __ ] out of here with your cowboy hat you're from Pennsylvania I can't stand when they put glasses on I tell you what my pees are when somebody wears glasses that look different yeah how about glasses that AR real you remember that that was a trend for a while they drive me crazy and people like that grow up all of a sudden now they play golf come here from Jersey City how about I put my dick in your [ __ ] nose you're from Jersey City you're going to go play [ __ ] golf but golf is supposed to be fun what's wrong with that I just don't like you are from where you're from you know what I'm saying yeah but I know people from everywhere play golf no no no no no some people just do it just to oh just to fit in play golf it is a weird thing how there's a lot of people that do that I've had a lot of people ask me if I play golf cuz they want to have meetings with me on a golf course and I was like wow no nope none of that but you can't say you play pool cuz no not as many people play pool not even near tell them no they look at you like [ __ ] you're not part of our club yeah you want play golf in the Skull and Bones oh my godl Society you don't want to play a 100 bucks to walk around [ __ ] 18 get the [ __ ] out of here walk around the [ __ ] Park and hit a pigeon I know a place that's a golf course it's a country club and it costs a qu million dollars to join just A4 million dollar just to join and then you have to pay
yearly dues but just to get in you have to give them a quarter of a million dollars for the rights to use this stupid [ __ ] that's for the Joneses chunk of land but think about how dumb that is how many members must these [ __ ] have we'll see you at the club on Sunday e so to keep anybody out that's not just stupid Rich it's all just Maseratis and Ferraris and Porsches it's a weird place to drive by cuz you're like what a weird slice of the world right there that's a like an an Uber Uber 1% they [ __ ] themselves cuz ludicrous joins the club and that's when it's all over but the shot because they say they all get together and go we don't know charge them 200 no no raise the price to half a million that [ __ ] shows up with three quarters of a mil there was a there was a crazy baseball player that actually just got kicked out of Lake Sherwood some uh athlete pro athlete was living there and that's another place the Lake Sherwood Country Club is another one of those let me find that it was Robin Hood what's up B what's up 20 [ __ ] charges you got no charges for your Uncle Joey you have like some you got some stupid kind of phone man you got to get a get yourself an iPhone Sprint 4G perfect for Uncle Joey I don't need a camera you don't even know what it is I don't want to [ __ ] talk to nobody you know rocking that 4G camping it out it's beautiful I think he's a baseball player hold on a second Dy what is this who Lenny dyra no he that that's the guy who's going to jail right yeah what did he do he was like robbing cars or something like that what did he [ __ ] do you know what happened to him bro mental illness really he I think he's crazy you seen that 60 Minutes or the HBO thing he's [ __ ] crazy and I met him and he was a decent type of guy you know I met him on the best D Sports show he was okay then he had the car wash he was was dyra he was the one who was kicked out oh please Lenny dyra did a th1 now his son's dating the the chick from The Sopranos I seen that today really yeah he crazy crazy bro lny dys his crazy ass so what did he do like what was his scam to try to steal cars they doing I don't how do he go from being like a [ __ ] no world renowned baseball player to be a guy who steals car the whole thing I just know that he
went bad on a bunch of people in 60 minutes or was an HBO did a docu uh thing on him real Sports and he was hysterical he like Gody he was like uh you know so are you broke right now and he went in his pocket all hundred I look [ __ ] broke but you owe Millions [ __ ] him [ __ ] him I'm going to live my life and he was you know I mean you can't do that so now they're going at him for everything and they're and right now he's in a downward spiral right not only are they watching him but on top of that he's giving him something to do and now he's trying to rob from Peter to pay Paul you know just trying to do what anybody would do in that [ __ ] thing you're going to make mistakes and he's going to be in worse shape than he what did he do he rented a car and tried to sell it he did something crazy I don't know what the [ __ ] he did I mean was it a Coke thing is that is that what happens cuz there is there drugs involved when guys start making such terrible decisions I think with desperation [ __ ] crazy just crazy if you seen the interview on HBO Real Sports you'll go there's something wrong there guys why would you give him a loan for a [ __ ] $2 million this guy had a plane he was flying around he would go from Hollywood to cabasas in a plane [ __ ] wow you know I mean this guy was crazy Butlers and all a sudden he lost he was living in his house they took the furniture they took everything wow but I do remember that when he went in his pocket and he had the [ __ ] thing and he's like I'm not broke [ __ ] check this out you want your money come get it very COK heavy episode we got going on here Joy is in the house let tell you something man how dare you but you know what it's got to be hard like I hear Chris Tucker has been out you know that he's been what out every night he goes to the haha The Improv The Comedy Store every night eight guys doing comedy and he's up there talking is he doing well he's doing well but people are asking him like why are you [ __ ] on stage he goes cuz $20 million ain't [ __ ] he goes at the end of the [ __ ] week he goes I thought I had 200 million he's been telling the story lately on stage uhuh he goes I'm broke it's called the government [ __ ] once they come get their a lot of these people bro spam and they don't realize that Uncle Sam's [ __ ]
watching you got to give half that dough you got checks are coming in but you don't know and when you're black let's face it when you're anything Joe Rogan people you're lost relatives start calling you MH my this guy and that guy and the money goes fast bro you know what's going on with Gallagher right G had a gang of heart attacks and he just decided he's retiring no more going on the road he's like I'll give the banks the houses I can't pay for these houses because he's doing like these little comedy clubs just to stay alive because but I would have thought that Gallagher would have been able to draw more than that I don't that doesn't make sense to me that he has to do these tiny little club that was 20 years ago bro yeah but I would think he still just for the variety of it look he was not it wasn't the best show in the world but it was ridiculous it was a fun thing to do you know people move on shame on him for still taking it to that point for this depending on to make house payments on little things a lot of people don't plan ahead did you ever hear him on the Mark Marin show no I just heard it this week and uh I I actually heard a clip of it off of YouTube I heard when he uh he left and it's [ __ ] remarkable it's really crazy you know like a lot of people give Mark Marin heart time for uh his interview style and you know and and for causing you know uncomfortable moments with people but this [ __ ] wasn't him at all this guy's crazy he's an [ __ ] oh my god dude first of all what he was talking about Comics you know like saying what they shouldn't shouldn't do you know that you shouldn't talk about yourself on stage you know like nobody wants to hear that and Marin was like what are you talking about like what if you have something entertaining to to say on stage like that that somehow that makes you less of a comic like it was Preposterous your life Makes You Different he said he was saying [ __ ] like you could never work a state fair and you know and Mar was like who the [ __ ] wants to work a state fair like what a weird thing to say but that's really what he was saying I mean he was really saying that if you you don't you you don't do your comedy for everybody you'll never be able to work a state fair you should do it the way I'm doing it and he's saying so you're dismissing
a great deal of really highly respected performers and G's like they're doing it wrong he's a dick he's crazy he I saw him making fun of a guy with I think we've talked about it Sarah or something I can't remember what he has where I mean he's [ __ ] can't walk right and stuff and he made fun of him I don't know what it is or why why he's like that he was huge that his brother tried to Rob him he gave his brother he gave his brother [ __ ] sold it to him or something and his brother looked just like him so it was an easy cell and then he decided to come back and when he decided to come back then he wanted his brother to stop and then it became like a real problem so then it was Gallagher and Gallagher 2 you know like his brother was like a lot of people thought they were going to Gallagher Ian he's essentially doing the same act which is really kind of [ __ ] creepy it's like some Invasion of the Body Snatchers type [ __ ] all of a sudden your brother's like taking over your life your brother's on the road doing your jokes you know he has access to all of your material from your 14 1hour specials and I guess like they made some sort of a business deal but you after a while you ever you have [ __ ] uh I even forgot what I was going to tell you that cookie kicking in [ __ ] the cookie I knew Joey did something because before the podcast even started he's he's the one who put the joint away the quickest no I ate a little piece of a bang chocolate those bang chocolate triple strength the hash yeah your your eyelids look like they're sandbags right now oh yeah I'm pretty [ __ ] up you know what I'm saying you know it must be amazing I mean I heard you say something to somebody at the store one time and it was it made sense or uh the the guy the guy from Oakland the big guy that had the show about the school teacher big guy the show hanging out with Mr Cooper oh yeah you having a conversation one day behind store and he said curry curry Mark Curry said something awesome dude by the way he said to you you never buy [ __ ] don't know that you don't buy nothing to the fourth season yeah he did say that and uh or you said somebody said you don't buy something to the fourth season right and what happens here you make a little bit of scratch
man and it goes and you know Joe even if you're financially you your house is paid for the house exists you still got to pay for that your [ __ ] ins property tax big $3 million house you still got to make money to pay those [ __ ] taxes and you know what the road ain't cutting it and you know Joe you ever watch VH1 like where are they now you ever get stuck you smoking dopee in the afternoon and they show like cherry pie right he's you know he just died he died out here in a hotel not not out here he was in um I think he was in uh West Hills or Woodland Hills right around here somewhere yeah like like one of those weird hotels that are like right off of the 101 man right I'm just giving you an example 10 miles away from here the great one show know they'll show like uh one of those bands like 8675309 let's just take them who knows what happened to them but they'll always go to the singer and the singer now has a successful clothing line for children that's one thing Comics have never prepared for right they think you really think your [ __ ] actor is going to work in 20 years do you really in 20 years from today want to go out there talking about DMT I mean I do I stop talking about DM after uh the first six months of Q you have to be prepared you have you have to evolve in this sport um yeah well you have to still be relevant because you have to still be doing what you want to be doing you know that's what's really important and if you are in 20 years from now you're still in love with standup I don't suspect that won't be man I love stand stand up I love stand up as much now as I did when I first started if you go to Gago gallaga did you ever thought about doing a podcast he'd say no you because his thinking is it like that well everybody stand up you know is there's there's some people that they're not like a podcast sort of a guy I'm not talking about that I'm talking about Evolution a lot of these guys in the '90s came in and were giving [ __ ] to them at The Comedy Store there's rumors about the people get off stage at The Comedy Store and there' be Club [ __ ] owners right there going hey what are you doing February 13th here's a plane ticket see you then it's a different PTO it was a even if you see a comic from the 90s his style is a little [ __ ] different guy
right okay you see it and you can't you know so now you have to evolve you know what I could still do my comedy there's still people that want to see me but I'll evolve I'll do a podcast I'll get a web page I'll draw a Blog I'll do all these things very to keep the [ __ ] people that I have these guys you go to with an idea that is going to enhance them they're going to go nah I'll just I'll just get my people on the road fine then everybody's on Twitter we had the discussion before the thing one day I find out I'm going to Miami Improv and I put it on there I call [ __ ] the ladies like I don't know what I got for radio I called Bert Cher Bert said to go on Ron Paul I just put on Twitter so you're talking about to promote the shows to promote the show just I'm not talking about these shows I'm talking about any show I put on Twitter hey any suggestions of radio stations in Florida I like to go on within three days I had 20 people contacting me so if you're a comedian you're not [ __ ] around with Twitter you're crazy or any businessman anything you if you're trying to Market a product that you have and you're not on Twitter on a computer and twitting with people and communicating and putting your videos up and giving away stuff then you're in a different [ __ ] planet hey 2012 if you're a comedian and you can be the funniest guy in the world yeah I I agree with you this is a big part of entertainment today this F I pay for 500 [ __ ] channels a month and so do you 620 when you add Fuel and all those communist [ __ ] channels up there I pay for 600 channels a month but I'm still on my computer 50 to 60% of my [ __ ] day 70% of my day I watch a few shows The Walking Dead The Killing but let's [ __ ] face it you might catch a documentary and what do you think I'm the only guy I don't even like the computer there's people who live on [ __ ] there so if you're not working on there today I'm not talking about five years ago today right and I learned that from LA and I tell you all the time from Irvine last summer no radio he still sold the place out 1,600 seats the seats 320 times five shows yeah we stopped do doing well we do still do our friends when we do local radio shows you know if it's like it's guys that you know I've done their show before and I
look forward to doing it like uh like Dale Dudley and Austin but we don't have to do anything anymore that's that's the crazy thing is it's all our fans now it's all I don't even like that word it's all our people now you know and it's uh we we don't it's it's there's no everyone knows exactly what the [ __ ] is up when they get there it's completely different crowd last year on Christmas how much did sales go up on online 38% in two years you're not going to leave the house to buy dick there's no reason to leave there's Amazon I [ __ ] suck I want to suck Mr Amazon's dick because he's genius listen bro one one click and you do it your phone I just got the doce book two days [ __ ] later I got it off whatever I order coconut water I order [ __ ] weed papers you can order everything off a [ __ ] that Amazon by the way Amazon you can get it on a [ __ ] a book reader app and you can watch it and read it on your phone you you could you could get buy a lot of different guys books as a download and read on a book reader on your phone so you'd have it on you all the time I mean the amount of storage that you're your phone has is incredible you know I have the little uh I have the little Amazon app on my iPhone I have [ __ ] I don't know 20 30 books so you use Amazon app before you use Apple's eye books app no I use that too oh but I I use both of them they're both great the iBooks is awesome too the IE books I like I really love for the iPad it's the [ __ ] I love the Turning of the pages seen has the graphic have you looked at a new one yet no I haven't one it's really hard to tell but yeah you can kind of see a little bit more depth but it's not a huge difference yeah to me what it is is the iPad something to like when you're sitting on the couch and you're [ __ ] board you know you just [ __ ] around and see what's going on in your email see what's going on in the message board I don't it's it's it's a temporary thing it's like I got to leave in 20 minutes let me pick up my iPad I think I like it for games I think it's way better than any oh yeah for moving and [ __ ] yeah that's incredible the gyroscope in it yeah for kids and can I write on there cuz write on it yeah you could you could write in a notepad you know there's what about can I go online that's where I put all my um ideas so
you got to hook me up on an iPad Bri oh yeah sure I'll give you one the I want one I want give me one I want you to take me to Apple and tell me what to buy and what programs I'll sell you my iPad too well whatever you want long as you teach me I got to take something on $ what the [ __ ] are you eating over there what are you [ __ ] M from American Allies I got to hide these things from you no bro you put everything here I got to take something you know what I'm saying I know but just then I'm over here thinking whether I took my fish capsules today I did you got the ultra man you got everything here brother I ain't man at you I just you know you got everything over here I I was going to be on uh op and Anthony last night I was like on the line but then I got too tired I just hung up but U me and Anthony were both up for that shorty award [ __ ] uh for web show I told you that was nonsense let let me pee tell the story to Joe so me and like Jim N was also up I think for explain to me what a shorty award is how you nominated shorty award this is something I found out during all this Shorty award is is like you get nominated by people and then you uh the most the top five there's all these categories like you're your best comedian best web show there's a lot of categories and so if people start uh voting for you then you know you the top seven people I think uh get uh nominated for that category so like out of like hundreds and hundreds of hundreds of people I was in the top seven I was number three I think uh and so was Anthony from opian Anthony and some wrestler named Zack Ryder or something like that and uh so the the the top seven are up for this nomin and then like we everyone started telling me like uh hey you know that shit's just a scam what they do is they get you everyone to vote for you on Twitter and then uh so all these people are trying to win like Anthony's tweeting I'm tweeting hey please vote for me all these people are tweeting so it just thinks everyone it it just advertises the shorty Awards and then so everybody then H uh who wins the shorty Awards they have like it's very suspect like who wins so it's almost like the shorty words like this this big scam to promote certain things okay is do you feel that it's a scam cuz you lost no no I heard
this before it uh ended okay and then I I stopped kind of promoting the shorty awards at near the end because people were telling me all about it and so then uh when I watched it like Jim Norton wasn't uh we was up for best ComEd I don't know who won that uh Anthony was I who I thought should have won but then this like miscellaneous girl that everyone's telling me it's like it's the the the worst show ever and there's like she had like 1/8 of the vote that Anthony had or one tenth of the vote even I try not to generalize about things too much but in general all the categories we're like this I think award shows are [ __ ] stupid why would you care that's what I feel here's the only reason why I I even question it more is because after you get nominated it's they they have the ceremony in New York and then they immediately sent me an email for like for the $400 package you get to come in and and meet with other people and stuff like that and it's just oh so they're selling you a vacation package or they they're selling you like really expensive tickets even if you're nominated for an award so you can't go to the award unless you pay to go to the award or something like that so wait a minute so they're offering you to buy tickets to go to an award show where you're nominated Nom yes that is ridiculous so it's a big money making big money-making convention and I I would say I'm not this is just my opinion I would say that the people that won that there's a reason why they all won it you know there's a reason why they all wanton it you think it's all horeshit I think it's all hit how can they get away with that I don't know how can they get away with that because once in a while they give it to somebody legit like Conan O'Brien or something like that just so they can have a photo of him holding it and then it's like it's money they have to like quantify like calculate look look that invisible children [ __ ] that's going on right now that guy said he was going to keep what 90% of the donation or something like that that amazing yeah it's it's a funny people are trying to find ways to make money they got him on video one of the guys on video of course I called that [ __ ] before the naked incident I will give you directly I will give you money directly if you need it but and it
breaks my heart when you see a hurricane or you see an earthquake and you want to send 50 bucks or 100 but in the back of my mind I say why because I work for those organizations where you sign up with the cops for example and you call people and go Joe Rogan how you doing Jo de PB 92 here we call him because the cops want to get Bulletproof things if you sign up with us for advertising in our book we will give you a sticker and that goes in the back of your car when you get pulled off for a ticket you tell the cop you donate he'll leniency and all this [ __ ] so let's say you donate 500 how much do you actually think goes to that that's the good question 30% 30% that's it 30 something perc okay so basically you're 500 and that's even if it goes that's even if it goes and when every [ __ ] earthquake every catastrophe there's always donations and two years later what do you read somebody clip the donations White Cliff Jean with the [ __ ] Haiti a million dollars a lot of [ __ ] money when people give it to you and I'm not saying he stole it I'm not no judge but I'm just saying you know you have all that money wait was he being accused of why C [ __ ] clipping his [ __ ] Organization for Haiti the the Haiti Foundation that's just money laundering pretty much right I I don't really know that's how you if you got tons of money I don't think so I think you know what I think I think people they start out with ideas of doing something that helps but they also want to get paid and it's a difficult job and they feel like they should get paid along with helping so a certain percentage of the money has to go towards the staff and that's just how they feel and it becomes a business now if you said to me you were going nothing wrong with being paid to do charitable work I understand but if you said to me you were going to Haiti and I gave you a hundred bucks and you said to me Joey I'm going to take all the money I get I'm going to pay for a plane ticket and whatever out of this money I understand that that's what I understand I don't understand when I'm giving you a 100 bucks and you got to take Brian with you and play for the lights at your office and your car off on it well they have to have some sort of infrastructure though but 30% of what I [ __ ] give you it seems too much but I have a%
every business is [ __ ] really expensive to run man you know it's expensive to buy plane tickets it's expensive to ship things it's expensive to keep the lights on keep the heat on keep the air conditioning on keep people getting checks every [ __ ] week steady checks every week you got to keep keep money coming in every week in order to just pay these people to stay inside the organization it's a constant money eating machine and I think a lot of people aren't are aware of that when you think about some any any charitable organizations like everything costs money the world costs money so it's it's it's hard for these people to to figure out a way to do it and and balance it right that said you get something like the Coney situation and you got you got some [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] that's what you got there you know you got some guy who Could That guy who went crazy and in San Diego could he have put more gay flare into what he was doing when he was running around throwing his arms through the air and I mean that guy clearly has some sort of a weird [ __ ] nutty suppression he went nuts he pulled off this scam made some stupid amount of money probably looked at his Paypal account did some meth and just ran outside and said I gotta be me and like thought that this was it you know he was just going to run naked through the streets to San Diego and beat off in front of [ __ ] passing by cars to be fair he was running with him ible children we just couldn't see it oh they were all invisible yeah that's a [ __ ] fascinating situation man that guy made a lot of money really quickly yeah if you're going to have a charity you might as well call it something like invisible children too so in the courtroom you could always use a defense like it was called invisible children seriously did did no one figure that out I wonder how this is going to play out cuz it's obvious now that everybody's been hustled right now it's pretty obvious the guy's crazy the other guy to have said something really du if you have donated to this guy PayPal lets you reverse it for up to I think 3 months so it's even longer than a Visa card so was H I wonder who um paid in which way I think most people probably use PayPal everyone uses PayPal but ladies and gentlemen I don't want to
advise you what to do but I think you know what to do yeah Jesus [ __ ] Christ don't let that go tell something this C situation is very unique and stuff yeah I tell you what's starting to scare the [ __ ] out of Uncle Joey guys is to Trevor [ __ ] situation in Florida yeah that's not going to end good that's not going to end good that's the beginning there's Wheels going in this country right now there's Wheels going and you can tell me that the kid smoked pod or he got suspended from school once the dude said that you stop following the [ __ ] kid and you know what they're going to have to arrest this guy or somebody it's going to get ugly you're down in Florida dog where those brothers are [ __ ] crazy yeah and that heat and all that Mambo juice and [ __ ] you know it's going to be bad and they're having rallies all over the country is so scary it's very scary gentlemen strap a [ __ ] pair on if they don't arrest this [ __ ] within the next week or do something they got to do something yeah and you know what that guy had tried to be a cop and been rejected [ __ ] no [ __ ] this is an easy story to figure out not only that he was he had a string of ridiculous 911 calls yeah stand my guard [ __ ] Lord 911 9-year-old kid there was a 9-year-old kid in his neighborhood and he called 911 you better [ __ ] prepare for that one because if that [ __ ] don't strap on I give it another 10 days before this something starts something has to start we're going there man it has to it has to it's going to be like [ __ ] fight the power and do the right thing at the end when the [ __ ] Brothers went crazy and beds die and it's going to be [ __ ] you know what I can't blame him what part of Florida is this all going down in St Sanford Stanford Sanford something like that close to Miami I think I don't know exactly the point we're going to Hollywood I'm going to be with Duncan Trussell at The Improv April 13th 14 and 15 The Improv in Fort Lauderdale I just been watching this thing escalate or not I'm watching this thing escalate see ex where it is see exactly where it is little brother yeah yeah it's kind of interesting you know look uh it's it's it's it's [ __ ] up man there's there's no bringing a kid back you know it's it's [ __ ] up period even if the kid
did something like even if the kid was a punk even if the kid was I mean there's no bringing a kid back the really the most disturbing thing to me always is lost potential you know and any any person who's been a punk at 15 and 16 you know deserves a chance to learn from their mistakes every kid does I mean outside of horrible sociopathic crimes and murders and things along those lines every kid you know everybody makes mistakes especially people without poor guidance or in a bad environment so you know regardless of what happened that day I feel terrible because this you know this a potential is gone you know that's how you got to look at a kid a kid is is potential I know so many people look at you I know so many people that at one point in their life were not good people they were they were [ __ ] up they were in a bad place but they turned around and became some of my favorite people you know you're a perfect example I mean you always tell these stories about about kidnapping dude and [ __ ] tying him up with a machine gun but you're one of my favorite people vagina yeah but you're one of my favorite people on the planet you know and I I you know you come over and play with my kids you know what I'm saying it's like people don't realize that people act absolutely can change it is very possible so when you see a young kid dying even if the kid was doing something bad I mean you know criminal and there's confusion there's criminals and there's confusion people kids don't know what the [ __ ] they want to do I was lost I thought that's what I wanted to do and once I did it I seen the reality of it and I never did it again and for some people they take the lesson they run with it for some other people they [ __ ] keep doing what they were doing because they don't really want to go anywhere yeah they don't really want to go anywhere even in my darkest moments I always just wanted a little bit of light so I could shine just to go forward that's all I was ever sounds like a hm car that's beautiful right that down I wasn't looking for anything I was looking for $1,500 just to get me started that's it to get an apartment to get a car right it's all I wanted but it was between the addiction and the things around me and myself and my weaknesses it was a
spinning ball that you can't get yourself out of thank to whoever the [ __ ] is up there watching me that I got a break and whatever and today I'm not [ __ ] letting it or whatever but I'm alive when I wake up in the mornings I'm alive dog I didn't think I was going to be alive at 49 who the [ __ ] are you kidding I didn't want to be alive at 49 but now I want to be alive man it's beautiful because I crossed over I don't have that thing in the back of your mind which is addiction the same thing people have when they're gay or when they're in the closet about something they did that weighs that Bears heavy on your [ __ ] soul it doesn't bear on your psyche it Bears on your soul I always felt less than what I was even if I killed because I'm still a [ __ ] chunky that always circling your [ __ ] Dome man you know and that's why always I feel bad for I see something sometimes I know exactly what it is you know when a guy wants to be a cop how many guys you grew up with that what [ __ ] cops when they were eight they were School guards and they took it a little bit too cross the street walk on the line [ __ ] you're not even getting paid for this how about I steal your [ __ ] lunch box and hit you in the head with it there's a lot of kids and they grow up and they you know they have the flag on their shirt Jesus Christ you know these SPS are taking over and and then they go for the cop test and there's a problem they're [ __ ] psychologically [ __ ] deranged so now they become a security guard at a mall and they take that job too [ __ ] seriously last night I'm at the ha walk Kevin James movie yeah it get dark and for some people it's a job for some people I got a 911 here shut the [ __ ] up I stole a pack of [ __ ] gum you [ __ ] [ __ ] some people like to control people you know it's like when I watch a cop show when they high five when they bust him but oh we did it what' you do did you know that uh Tim syvia is a cop no yeah where I forget I think it's somewhere I mean it was cold out wherever it was I guess probably Iowa probably somewhere in Iowa yeah it might not be Iowa bachor parties no he was a [ __ ] cop he was uh doing a lot of um a lot of shifts as a as a police officer they showed they went on tour with him or Tour on tour with him on tour they
went on uh on uh when he was out you know doing his rounds and uh what they say cruising what did you say cops his Cruiser following his Cruiser a follow dri isn't it funny that it can be a cruiser with a cop but and anybody else you looking to suck a guy's dick yeah it's trolling you know you're cruising you know if you're cruising you're Cruis for men right yeah anyway he's um he's he does he's trying to get back into the UFC I guess but he's um doing like you know like he's taking some small fights and he works as a cop and he actually likes doing it you know he seems like it would be a nice guy to get pulled over by yeah some guys you could tell they they come some people want to be cops for the right reasons for the right reasons use the wrong logic there's a way to get [ __ ] flies with with with gum instead of [ __ ] vinegar last night I get out of the haha last night I get out of the haha they do Monday nights they do the comedy contest com back from the Laugh Factory I pull over by the haha and the kid says dog you want to go up I said yeah I'll close the show out while they do the they count the thing it was black heavy audience last night okay if there was 60 people there was uh 30 Brothers they went to the see there one black kid from Chicago I didn't watch him I got there late and and I went on stage whatever I get off the show ended we're outside I'm talking to Di austino and there's Brothers standing three of them nice guys just talking talking about tomorrow's job but there's no cars on Lish him so that there's no cars parked so the one guy is in the street 6 Ines from the sidewalk talking you know how sometimes you're smoking a cigarette away from people right [ __ ] cop is on Lor ship and I'm watching this cop he's at the light and all a sudden he comes up to where these guys are standing and stops and 10 cars are behind them traffic and he just stops and looks at him and he puts his thing on he goes hey get back on the [ __ ] sidewalk and gu like off I'm not doing any Shine the Light like there's 200 people out there walking around this guy's being [ __ ] Johnny Bananas out there so then he puts the light on me I'm just over there by the corner talking to the C go what and he goes he turns around makes a U-turn he goes what' you say to me I said dog
you're over there harassing three [ __ ] black guys with the problems we got in this country going on right now use your [ __ ] head what's wrong with you and he looked at me what's your name said I go I got my ID in the car I wasn't drinking I got nothing I got no weed in the car I don't give a [ __ ] that's what you worried about three guys what do you care let them get hit what do you care let him get hit by the [ __ ] car he doing his job no mind your [ __ ] business there's things you look at and there's things you don't [ __ ] look at what you ever go you ever go to Hollywood you're driving and all and all a sudden there's a [ __ ] all a sudden there's a [ __ ] there's a bunch of traffic in Hollywood and you go around and you realize it's a cop pulling over a homeless guy that's on the corner laying there puking so he pulls over like Adam 12 so you can have all this [ __ ] traffic really [ __ ] where were you when they were shooting [ __ ] up in North Hollywood [ __ ] you know what I'm saying like they act like really you're going to pull over to bother a homeless I think we can agree that there are some [ __ ] cops no but there's cops that it's there's a lot of great cops too no there's great [ __ ] cops the ones that look at you for what the [ __ ] it is and they're like dog are you [ __ ] serious yeah well we've talked about this before in the podcast and one of the problems is quotas you know they they in order to show that they're doing their job they have to catch people doing [ __ ] especially speeding certain times of the month you just get crazy speed it's ridiculous see it's incredible that that's uh that that's really a tactic because then what would happen if it was ever completely resolved what would what the [ __ ] would they ever do if everybody just followed the speed limit cuz that's coming man this Google car [ __ ] when they we're going to have cars that are going to be they're you're going to get in them and you could [ __ ] be on your computer you could be do whatever you want it's a personal craft that's going to be able to follow a pattern and get you somewhere you're not going to have to do any driving anymore this is It's 100% on the way if you've you've seen the Google videos right Brian Crossing cars the Google cars you
haven't are you serious yeah I haven't seen prepare to get your [ __ ] mind blown pull up pull up on that thing Google car drives itself dude Google is for sure Skynet there's no doubt about it Google Google is is going to be one day when when we talk back like the way we view the ancient Egyptians and we try to decipher their their society Google's going to play a huge part in the myth of the the the Downing of the American society and the the Downing of the western world is that a commercial [Music] first looks like it I don't know if it is though the car what did you what did you pull up the Google car Google car that drives itself I'm a scientist SC back a little I'm also a very cautious driver but like most people much of my life depends on the motor car oh she's killing me fast forward this hooker oh kind of fuel it uses but changing something far more fundamental when I say hooker I say it would love she seems like a nice lady I'm just saying that oh she does have P pull she does not pull forward so we can watch this [ __ ] a different one there's a couple Google commercials so let's you say Google car drives itself did you Google that testing driving the Google car this sounds okay well they did one of them the one I wanted to show you making the leap from search engines to car engines but not for just any car the new Google car is unlike anything El on the road because it drives itself Becky Worley joins us via Skype and you went along for a test drive from G4 I did good morning Robin yeah you you heard that right Google the internet company has been secretly working on a sophisticated combination of hardware and software that could revolutionize the feasibility of a self-driving car ladies and gentlemen you are about to witness for the first time on any screen a preview of things to come in your car of Tomorrow ah old visions of futuristic cars first cruise control then cars that parked themselves and then ones that helped you avoid fender benders but now and now it's driving again self-driving car and from of all companies Google it uses cameras inside to spot traffic lights and other things
and also uses this thing on the top which is a scanning laser they say this car has already driven itself 100 140,000 mil J driven itself really here's how it works you tell the car your destination it plots a route it's aware of speed limits traffic patterns and known obstacles so the wheel just turned completely by itself completely by itself it's not intended to replace drivers but to help them it's like you know super cruise control imagine clicking the button for auto drive when you wanted to dial a phone number or read a text Jes if you wish to drive it just fine if you wish to waste 52 minutes in commute traffic go ahead be my guest in fact Google touts Safety is their motivation they say this technology could one day cut traffic deaths in half whoa it got really nervous yeah it must have thought it saw somebody coming in down the onramp so how does it handle stop signs and alternating turns with other cars at intersections cross walk ahead it would be the same probably with with pedestrian safety in the sense of using the uh the the radio signals to check and see who's in front of them who's around but how does it handle the unexpected how about a little game of chicken oh my God [ __ ] that she's stepping in front of the car I was scared My Hope Is that we uh transformed the society to make uh traffic safer more efficient and also more pleasurable wow this is incredible now Google says they have no plans this to the consumer Market anytime soon they don't know what it would cost when it does come to Market but besides safy say this hopes to they hope this reduces emissions reduces our dependence on fossil fuels and Robin eases congestion wow that's incredible man because um you know you see that what if you if folks who are just listening to this the video shows this this thing on top of it like some sort of a Star Trek thing spinning around in a circle really fast and images of all the cars in the neighborhood and where they're coming from and it's like an overhead view it's really crazy that does not seem a good idea are you kidding me it seems awesome well I mean right now it it seems awesome dude it seems awesome would you trust that though well I like driving I I like the feeling I I have some cool
cars I like the feeling of like a sporty car that handles well and I mean even like I said even not even driving irresponsibly just driving at normal highway speeds a sporty cars like it's it's fun it feels like you're kind of doing a you know it's a ride but that would take all that out of it then it would just be you would just want to be comfortable but it would be a lot saf safer yeah what happens if you're like [ __ ] all right I may push on that button and let it do its thing while I do a text message as an example you're on the freeway you look down you're texting it the computer that it's it's running on for some reason just starts spinning you know like the the beachball like thinking about something like it has a little free little hiccup and then a semi Slams on its brakes and you're not looking up and you go right into the back of the semi that could be possible it seems like you you can't trust it is a computer there going to be incident and it's not this isn't ready to come out tomorrow the only [ __ ] Advantage I see to this car is you eat a cookie you're driving on that [ __ ] hits you you're like [ __ ] this take me home take me home [ __ ] and you just that's the only advantage of something like this well the advantage would be that this thing has gone over 100,000 miles with no accidents that's incredible and it's on regular roads it may be that that's a way better way for us to get along I think it probably is I mean would you be safe you know doing that if the if the whole thing was wired that way and that's the only people got around I think You' probably be the only problem we would have is if one day the system cracked and we had a lot of those cars going around and all the cars would start going [ __ ] crazy and start doing 90 or whatever it seems inevitable though doesn't it yeah no no this is and pretty soon these [ __ ] they're going to have the car that flies right over you the anti-traffic mobile you just pop that [ __ ] it goes up 10 ft in the air as long they're going to have everything well you know that was event originally rather that's what they thought the helicopter was going to be they thought the helicopter was going to be able to replace the car and everyone would just fly around in helicopters that was the
initial I can you imagine how horrible that would be everyone had [ __ ] helicopters sound like [ __ ] all night long yeah flying over your house no one would have any privacy you know like even it didn't matter it doesn't matter where you would live you could live behind the tallest of gates and the highest of mountains someone just fly up there and just fly over your [ __ ] house [ __ ] I'm over your house you can never control you know they could [ __ ] with you houses and stuff yeah they could they could just throw rocks off the top of their helicopter at you pee On's houses just open the window and just drop some [ __ ] on your house they could always be over your house you could never stop you know you could stop someone from driving in your driveway how the [ __ ] do you stop them from flying over your house like like climb down a ladder and have sex on people's houses would be like popular to do like celebrities houses people be mad as [ __ ] cuz they hear that helicopter and they don't even bother like having the guy take off and come back no they keep it hovering I'm going to pee I'm going to have sex on Joey Ran's house it's like [ __ ] being an apocalypse now it's like living in that [ __ ] that would be a nightmare then there'd be have to be more helicopters in the sky that are cops to stop these [ __ ] pull over pull over you know Conant how would you make them pull over yeah you get too close you guys are going to hit blades and everybody dies what if we all have hot air balloons that' be pretty czy that' be cool that' be cool though the sky would look awesome if we all had hot air balloons people be falling out of the [ __ ] Sky all the time that's how husbands and wives would get rid of each other take each other up in a hot air balloon and [ __ ] shoot a hole in the parachute we both go you [ __ ] boom boom but we could dress up our hot air balloons with certain designs and like like Joey de would just have a huge like Godfather design you have monkey or something just sitting in this balloon floating around after Scar the [ __ ] out of me dog that's in Colorado in Colorado they had the big Festival I think also in Arizona and in Colorado I would wake up early in snow Mass Village and go see what they were doing the heat with the whole [ __ ] thing we went down there
but it was the day we were supposed to uh go there it was canceled because of the weather we made a trip down to Colorado Springs and God the [ __ ] traffic back was brutal that's bad this one lane this way one lane that way like [ __ ] a nightmare how many people are here there's a lot of people here why don't you expand this [ __ ] you crazy [ __ ] well some of the [ __ ] they just save for the whole P of it you know what I'm saying like [ __ ] why with natural what well there's some there's some roads that are Preposterous though the amount of people that are traveling through them for them to be that narrow the worst Road they have up there is Independence past that's the worst thing I've ever been on in my life that's what connects been in Denver but it closes Brian people are asking me like in real life like like like they don't get it like people somebody just asked me is there really a do you know if there's an Olive Garden in Vegas like a friend of mine and I'm like come on dude that's are you being serious are you think that's funny like why would I know that what what does that have to do with you just asked me why I was laughing oh so you were just reading your somebody just text me oh when Independence Pass closes in late August and it opens in June cuz M that's how dangerous it is cuz that's where it starts snowing first like it snows everywhere else a month uh later that's the higher elevations and the good thing about it is when you uh hit Aspen you go through this thing it's all it's two lanes but two skinny [ __ ] Lanes yeah like as skinny as they could be allowed by law and there's some turns that you a dog that just but at the end of that they have the the whatever black uh black wolf in at the end it's like a b breakfast and the ladies got wolves and they [ __ ] howl at night people like it yeah so it's pretty cool if you ever that the crazy thing is if you're on those roads and someone breaks down that's when it's crazy cuz you got to kind of help them cuz there's nobody anywhere anywhere near that and there's probably no cell phone service either no there's nothing if you see someone broken down there you got to take a real big chance there you might have to take somebody in your car and bring them with you I don't like doing that man that's a
good scam up there [ __ ] that yeah it is a good scam it's people pull guns out pull your car especially have a nice car they'll pretend to have a flat tire and especially if it's like a guy and a girl and then you know they look like respectable people super super normal scam you know to hijack people's cars they just found some girl in Vermont they uh found her body in the woods and her her car was running and her kid was in the car it's really [ __ ] up [ __ ] man when you hear those kind of stories and you're like man you really do have to worry about people man you really do have to worry about people out there because every now and then then someone's in the wrong place at the wrong time and 99% of the people that you run into are really nice people and they're not trying to hurt anybody but there's uh there's been there was another instance in I think it was New Hampshire this was in Vermont I think there was an instance in New Hampshire where same thing a woman uh turned up missing and her kid was in the car uh unharmed and uh then it turned out she was dead and they don't have a they never found a suspect they didn't know who the [ __ ] did it there's people out there that have gone away with murder they're still out there that's that's a fact 100% this ain't CSI I've been in two [ __ ] up situations where I remember one time I was like 14 it snowed like two feet of snow in Jersey and the buses weren't working I wanted to shoot hoops so I walked to St Michaels but we ended up staying there till like midnight and I had no buses and I had to walk home and a [ __ ] car pulled over and he's like get in the car you want to ride yeah he goes where do you go and I used to get off on Sear and I remember that he started playing with the ball the ball was between my legs and he started playing with the ball if you want we come to my house I got games over there and [ __ ] and I I didn't know what to do I didn't have the heart to punch him I'm not going to tell you I was going to knock him out and there was a God because at my light the door opened I hadn't closed it all the way or something the door open I just said Thank you and I ran the [ __ ] out of there and he made a u-turn and but you know I went through I C I cut through [ __ ] in park and all that [ __ ] he
couldn't find me imag scary [ __ ] right there can you imagine being one of those [ __ ] too and that's your compulsion your compulsion is to go after kids how terrible must like that when that s Dusky guy do you know that story that he got taped they got him on a wire tap from earlier before all this broke out from years back there was a woman and he uh was accused of doing something inappropriate with her son and she was talking to him on the phone and he said I wish I was dead that's what he said when they were talking to him about it he said I wish I was dead that's how they feel what a terrible sick [ __ ] broken thing in the brain to make you do that think of that's what that thing that people but is it [ __ ] up that the brain is so weird like that that it can't do something like that someone could find themselves somehow or another in that kind of a terrible jail of a life but here's the beauty of it if you really read this whole thing in the showers this [ __ ] guy was pleading to get caught really look at it listen if I have a little boy you think I'm going to shower with him at the school [ __ ] gym you [ __ ] you think I'm going to take him to a school gym I don't think they have any place else to go you we just work out he also had a wife something and apparently one of the kids said that he was over the house and he was screaming for help and the wife ignored him he was screaming for help and he he talked about it like help this guy's [ __ ] me like the first time sanduski [ __ ] him he's screaming for help and the wife just ignored him wife is probably in the other room masturbating the wife uh they they also lived apparently he lives like right across the street from a schoolyard so he sits in the back porch and he watches kids play from his [ __ ] house like who isn't it amazing that guy was in that position for so long I mean if you think the world makes sense and that things things come to light always not necessarily man they kept that a secret for a long goddamn time maybe the people deep inside knew about it but we didn't know about it for a long goddamn time that's a pretty impressive bit of secret keeping you know I wonder how many other secrets are like that out there you know especially in places where it becomes
sort of cult-like like Penn State I mean when that guy when nobody even wanted to hear why they fired Joe pno they just wanted to turn cars over and light things on fire like you can't you can't fire him you can't fire him there was riots man people were just going crazy and demonstrating and screaming and yelling and you know they were really mad they were really mad they just they would never even think that he could have been somehow or another aware that his the guy he was working with for years was a kid [ __ ] but he might have been he might have been they might have let it slide that's some scary [ __ ] that guy took kids with him on vacation that guy took kids with him to games and they stayed in the same room this some dark dark dark [ __ ] you know people should have known about that a long time ago and you know what's crazy I was one of those kids that went to camps I was on palal basketball and the cop slept in the room with you and you know what man I sit and think of all that [ __ ] and how lucky I am nobody I was a weeow for a week I didn't like that [ __ ] but it's as a kid like I never really I don't know what that world would be like so [ __ ] dark for a child any crime against a child is so dark because it stays with them forever yeah it changes their life it changes their life it makes them adjust to life with that it just sits in your soul so much in those years those formative years uh and the really scary thing is that supposedly I mean that they're thinking is the people that perpetrated are ones who are Vic themselves and that's they it [ __ ] short circuits their whole thing and makes them want to molest children it's it's terrible man it's the whole thing is they almost want to bring someone into it like it's like like a vampire you know like someone infecting someone else with the same thing that they got you know and that's how you pass it on I mean I wonder how many references and you know how much of the mythology of the vampire is based on things like that you know that could could easily what it would be from you know someone who has something horrible done to them when they're younger they they become that horrible thing you know there's probably one person that started
it all you know because he was the first person on all list a kid and then it just grew and grew and grew monkeys man the thing is if you look at monkeys like and I say monkeys by the way I know that it's Apes it's chimpanzees I know it's Apes monkey sounds cooler Sor I use monkey you're not supposed to do that but if you look at like if you look at bonobo chimpanzees they are the closest to us as far as genetically them and regular chimpanzees are the closest to the other Prime but Nobles they [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of each other everybody [ __ ] everybody the only people that don't [ __ ] is the uh mother doesn't [ __ ] the son and I think that's it I think the men [ __ ] their daughters the uh the females uh you know like they'll [ __ ] sisters they'll [ __ ] everybody everybody gets [ __ ] that's weird cuz you would think like it would be interesting to see like yeah that that monkey has molested this monkey this monkey has molested that monkey the one that got molested throws poop more the other one you know has got a real job they see there's no there's no one gets out alive in the jungle everybody's getting [ __ ] is not like it's it's not like this you know what it is is just a rampant [ __ ] Festival the bonobos they settle all their arguments with [ __ ] it's crazy gay sex straight sex it's nuts everybody [ __ ] everybody there's no monogamy at all you know and the the really nutty thing is there's a giant leap between that and monogamous relationships that most people try to keep together in the in the human world like that's a as far as behaviorally that's really kind of the antithesis of what the bonobos are closest ancestors do and how they get by you know they just [ __ ] everybody and we just try to keep it together and only [ __ ] one person it's kind of fascinating when you think about it m but those uh those crazy monkeys they [ __ ] everything man B NOA Squad yeah I mean it's we're trying to get past all that because we realize that it's a selfishness and that you shouldn't only you should only be able to have sex with in our rationalization someone who understands what sex is and someone who is an adult can make their own decisions that's like that's how a normal cult handles it even though the they want it when they're younger and and people become sexual when they're younger we've decided that
you know in order to keep Society together you can't just go around as a a 40-year-old person banging 13year olds that's just crazy doesn't matter if they have a period That's just just shit's Preposterous you know you're not even giving them a chance it's like it's it's cheating it's shooting fish in a barrel it's you know it's molestation it's not it's it doesn't matter if they like it you know we we made some rational smart decisions when it comes to that [ __ ] you know I can't tell how kids are you know I can't [ __ ] tell sometimes you can't one the symptoms of cocaine like 16 but the really funny 16 and 17 year olds there's a lot of them that look like women man this what I'm about to say I'm going to light before coming up here you know the school over here I'm going to light and kids across there was a girl with shorts on yeah and I remember that you know you're in your car and you look over and there she was crossing the street I'm thinking to myself I couldn't do something like that of I can't even look at her I can't even look at this girl of course you couldn't because you're a moral person and because [ __ ] morals morals but to look at a young girl like that go Jesus Christ How could somebody think well how old are these girls what are you looking at they had to be [ __ ] high school okay that's where it gets tricky when it's like 16 17 they they start looking like women and they're 5' n it gets trick it's almost impossible but even even with the trick a guy like you you're at them and I look at them and go it wouldn't even be a conquest for me it would be an embarrassment for a guy like right but that's in the context of our culture in the context of your body your body would want to [ __ ] that girl Jo Diaz if you were alone with her and you and her were on an island and she's cuddling up with you every night to sleep and then she just reaches down your package and rubs your balls and starts kissing your ear and your dick is hard like a goddamn crowbar yeah she might only be 17 but her [ __ ] is dripping down her leg you touch her thigh you feel it dripping you remember that when they were 17 remember that [ __ ] girl get so they would get so wet they would gush remember that sh yeah you [ __ ] okay I remember when I was Judge when I was when I was 20 when I
was about 20 and 19 I worked in electrical supply supply house Swift Electric we all took those warehouse jobs right and the guy that had the warehouse had to be 48 and his girlfriend his wife had just turned 17 and he had been with her since she was 13 oh it is you know I don't know that was legal at the time I guess it was legal he had gone been in trouble but he got a pregnant so they had to stay together but he was a grown man dating a girl in high school that was wow she wasn't all there and he wasn't all there you know I mean obviously you could see it but just the thought of him telling me yeah my wife is 177 or 18 I'm like he goes we've been together for 5 years what can you imagine picking a girl out and uh like when she was like 12 and then you're just friends with her till she's 18 and then you start putting the moves on her Jesus Christ creepy to think about dude there's some of them that their their their age of consent is really low yeah like 16 is Hawaii or something like I think it's Hawaii I think it's well I'll have to figure this out this is a all right here we go the lowest it seems like 15 is Colorado 15 Jesus Christ that can't be still real you still want to move to that can't be real I don't know what year this is 1999 what's Jersey in 1999 what was Jersey okay in 1999 Jersey was and by the way that's pretty fascinating 16 and 18 um I guess 16 18 it must mean boys girls wow for boys it's probably 16 for girls it's 18 [ __ ] crazy crazy that's [ __ ] crazy man or is a girl boy no I would think boys would be younger oh okay age 16 if uh the man is 21 or older the girl has to be 16 if the female is over 12 what 12 hold on a second I can marry 12y old some of them oh my God this is in 1999 Connecticut 15 Colorado 15 that means you could [ __ ] a 15-year-old man just just a few years ago Michigan 16 Minnesota 16 wow the most of the country by the way is not 18 this is back in two 1999 I already knew that the dude from crazy the dude from Lost married that whatever 15 yeah North Carolina 16 North Dakota 16 it all goes down to South Carolina 14 14 in South Carolina Myrtle Beach 16 wow that's incred it is 4 years old and you're [ __ ] a 16y old right what if she has like a lot of cheeseburgers and she's like way
Advanced for her age still what do you talk about Joe in the meat you don't talk about anything you show them cartoons while you bang them for doggy style don't do that Joey I'm just kidding no no no no I just don't understand this you have to be but people don't understand what we do it's animalistic man it's natural to be attracted to a girl that has a great body regardless of if she's 18 or 19 or you know some of them 17 they look they like you remember like um who was the Tracy Lords Tracy Lords when she first burst on the scene she was like this really famous porn star because it turned out she did all these films she got like real famous but she was underage she was like 14 15 that's why Hunger Games are so popular everyone wants to eat that girl out I don't know what you're talking about I haven't seen hungry games so I don't know anything about don't say [ __ ] about it I don't want to know I don't know anything about it I would to see it is it good I I heard it's really good that's why I don't want to hear [ __ ] Doug Benson hated it Doug Benson's a silly [ __ ] you love him but he's a silly [ __ ] where you going uh we're in Louisville oh [ __ ] dunan Trussell Louisville Kentucky Friday Saturday Sunday boom shellock luck boom wedes I'm tightening down for my uh my special which is April 20th in Atlanta at the Tabernacle Joe Diaz will be in the house as always every [ __ ] show that I recorded ever since the beginning J Di has been a part of that [ __ ] that's right and that's um so that's um on 420 in Atlanta and the first show is already sold out so the second show is about half sold out right now so get on that [ __ ] we're going to have a good time it's going to be fun and then I'm going to release it Louis CK style five bucks online which you're doing by the way too with a documentary you know what I'm doing though I I had a I'm doing it on iTunes April 2nd is pre-sales then I'm releasing it Friday the 13th the last C and what is it it's either you or the priest okay and then the documentary I think I'm going to release it on Friday the 13th too cuz the graphic got viewer the priest is already out it's out on payloads but people want to buy it on iTunes oh people just want to buy on iTunes there's people that just have
iTunes accounts and [ __ ] so much so you going to put you and the priest on iTunes and that when when that Friday the 13th Friday 13th and then um documentary The Graphic guy just called he say going to take him another week we could release on the second as we planned but now we'll just wait for the graphics now what is this documentary you know man I I started making those mad flavor stupid [ __ ] videos you know and I got great responses and and it was funny what people wanted to see you mean the the the MMA ones no just the ones with me going to the weed store puncture and taking a shower with the cat the cat that likes to get wet and [ __ ] right and just [ __ ] around you know and people started emailing me [ __ ] that they thought would be interesting and I'm like you can't give people what the [ __ ] they want all the time but I really made sense they like we want to see what this Carmine guy looks like he like my friend Carmine Bano or does he really exist we want to see what Lubes looks like does he really stutter and I started thinking about it and I went on Twitter and asked for donations and I got money I got a camera and a camera and went to Jersey and I taped like my grar school some of my [ __ ] up buddies just to tell some stories and then that night when you see me I did a oneman show to surround it so that would put the pieces together W that sounds great listen bro it's five bucks I don't even know if I'm going to charge for it it was just something I wanted to do just to let people great that sounds like a great idea what it really is I wanted to show people that you know my parents died it seems like a really bad thing when you're a kid it really does it's a horrible thing but I was I was a [ __ ] Spanish kid and this Italian Irish Community where nobody's more racist than [ __ ] Italians you know what I'm saying they love throwing SPI and [ __ ] around and and all this [ __ ] I love it I got nothing against it but these people opened up their homes to me and then part of the reason when I was in that prison sitting there going you know now they want the people who hated me growing up that the ones that said I was just a junkie they want there's a handful of people that fed me took care of me and gave me clothes and never talked about it they didn't they
bring me [ __ ] F food in the hotel so I just wanted to go show these people that's all I wanted to do that's it I don't want to release this in Sundance well you got some great stories man your stories along with me the actual people's that's that's guaranteed entertainment yeah you know when it's nothing I'm not going to [ __ ] release that Sundance I ain't no [ __ ] whatever I just did this for these Twitter people we have such a great time on Twitter now and Facebook this is my morning from 6:00 to [ __ ] 9:00 I'm up there playing music calling them [ __ ] and it enhances us like I we said on the phone that time we don't have fans this is a network Duncan and I talked about it on our uh on uh his podcast you know Duncan trussle Family hour I I did it um the other day and one of the things that he was talking about is how great it is now that essentially everybody that we're hanging around with like everybody is doing great like AI is doing great on the road Duncan is doing great you're doing great everything's doing great it's like it's it's building now the point where we can all like we all feel real good about everything and everything is is is it's like we really truly are like pumping each other up we really truly are are bringing each other up which is really an artist colony which is what The Comedy Store started doing we just kept taking it listen this week I'm in Miami and you're in Louisville there's nothing more in the world I wanted to do was be in Louisville with you it's we have so much [ __ ] fun but it's cool to break it up a little bit every now think about what's going on that Squad is out there yeah and now you're in Louisville I'm in Kentucky seur is in [ __ ] Connecticut that's death squad represent so death squad's out there we're clogging up the middle we're clogging up the hole we're in the middle of that [ __ ] octagon you know what I'm saying we're not against the fense no more we're in the middle of the [ __ ] octagon well it's because of the podcast and because of the internet you know the the the people been looking for something that's a little bit more wild than the [ __ ] they've getting fed on radio and the [ __ ] they getting fed on television and there's there's a lot of people out there that think like us they just don't
have anybody else there that are that's on the Internet or that's you know in any form of media that's expressing things that they're feeling you know and people are worried about their position and they're worried about their reputation and they're worried about you know not getting crazy or saying too many things or let's not discuss that let's not discuss this and when you you get to uh a place where you can do something like this podcast and do it for a long time that those people really get to know who the [ __ ] you are and you really can help each other they send you links they send you interesting [ __ ] they send you information they send you encouragement it pumps you up I mean come on when you when you get all those uh those tweets from people love you on the podcast it feels great it's a nice pump you up you want to say thank you to as many of them as possible it's like this big Ripple when I had the surgery you know how many [ __ ] people tweeted me paperwork and meniscus repair and knee repair how many people offered me massages and come to Orange County and we'll do this for you and come to Santa Monica and we'll do this are you [ __ ] kidding me yeah like where are you going you know they were like dog where you doing PT at I'll do it for free I don't want nobody to do nothing for free I'll pay you but just the thing that they weren't people BR how's your knee people hit me up every day like how's your knee my knee's [ __ ] fine what but Jesus Christ how nice of you to ask how nice of you to ask people sent me a workout there was a doctor that sent me a workout on Gmail mhm uh he sent it to me in weeks CH he took time out of his [ __ ] schedule from New York York Institute of reconstructive [ __ ] knee surgery okay that he listens to this podcast that follows me on Twitter or whatever he sent me four weeks in a row the exercises I had to do for that week at home to strengthen my knee and I did him he even [ __ ] told me go get a rubber band and tie it and use the rubber band I mean this is a guy that's a doctor and every week on my Gmail account every Monday I get the workout for the week so I was going to PT but I was also doing his workout wow because that's what he specializes in cuz he
said that when you're 20 and when you're 45 your meniscus is different he doesn't want me falling into these exercises he wanted to strengthen the essential parts of the knee at that age he told me what vitamins to take or I mean this guy was great this is what we're a part of people EMA but on the other hand how many people email you in my comedy and say I'm starting what do I do and you [ __ ] cut right through the chase you [ __ ] tell him this is what it needs get on stage this is what we're doing people hit me all the time dog I'm doing this I got to quit smoking dog cuz I'm going to be a I got to quit smoking weed because to be a mailman then quit smoking weed they're offing you a [ __ ] job while you're being a knucklehead we're all helping each other out here and the first time in my life in my career I'm having a [ __ ] fun time I'm telling you they call me for auditions now and I'm like go [ __ ] yourself I do better on Twitter suck my dick all I got to do is put on Twitter I'm looking for an acting job somebody will [ __ ] hit me up because half the people on your network are [ __ ] writers from shows yeah there's a lot of that they know they know so this Twitter is becoming something you know in the ' 80s it was cocaine now it's Twitter and Facebook you don't need that [ __ ] to be part of a social [ __ ] Network you know what I'm saying I definitely think that this is the best time ever to to get your [ __ ] out there without having a rely and having a show or a nothing you don't need anybody anymore yeah the group and the group of all of us together like the Loosely based group I mean Opie named us death squad because I came into the Opie and Anthony show Once with Eddie Bravo was a Jiu-Jitsu black belt and Tate Fletcher who's a giant [ __ ] gorilla MMA fighter and he's like holy [ __ ] Joe Rogan brought in the death squad and that's sort of stuck and we started using it as a goof but having a a Loosely based group where we're all together just because we love each other and we're friends and we're all funny and we all work together and hang out together and pump each other up you become a part of something and as that part of something like I really feel like when I see that Duncan is uh on the road making great money and then Ari selling out in this place and killing
him in Vancouver and I see all that it it makes me feel great it makes me smile you know it makes me fired up I feel like you know as a as a group like that when you have a whole bunch of people the more everybody's doing well and the more everybody's happy and the more everybody's sort of progressing it inspires you to do the same and inspires you to to work hard inspires you to to continue to to produce [ __ ] get out there and and and bang your [ __ ] sets out write new [ __ ] you know I'm always busy I always have something to do yeah 10 years ago I had nothing to do I always have something to do because if I'm not doing anything I right a oneman show about crime last week I did one about criminal stories a whole one man show yeah I already have pages and pages of years of written out [ __ ] on computers just in different orders so when I write one of these shows all I have to do is go back to that page wow and just write the [ __ ] out this is what I did for three years I just got high and wrote I didn't know what I was doing I didn't know about apostrophes or [ __ ] how to spell there or there you know what I'm saying like you forget all this [ __ ] yeah you forget all this [ __ ] but you just wanted to get the ideas out it had listen man every comic has jokes and we have great jokes and the longer you're in this you become a better performer the thing that's accentuates us is our lives and how we put it into our act and if you don't put your life into your act then you're just a comedian and I didn't know that till one night I was listening to one of our friends on a Showtime special and he's one of our friends that's a weird different midc comic from the store and he always just said jokes like I was doing for years I was in the other room and I heard him and I go this is why I'm not successful because they just doing jokes I'm not telling them about me what do I see with my eyes the world in my eyes by the PES mode is one of the greatest jams ever they just break it down it takes a while though to figure out what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] what your message is what your message is you know you remember what it was like when you were 20 or 21 you didn't have a [ __ ] valid opinion on anything you know Brian is 37 he struggles with this Olive guard [ __ ] that's my brother he
already said it when did he say it he said it earlier he's talking about his friends lying about his friends taxing Playboy Amber is in Vegas and she asked is there a Olive Garden in Vegas I don't know who Playboy Amber is I assume that's one of your friends that's a beautiful name though she's a beautiful girl Shazam no I'm very excited about this time it's fun it's fun time it's a great time to do shows man we have a show Wednesday 200th uh Wednesday our 200th episode which is tomorrow yeah tomorrow at the ice house and uh there's a show 8:00 p.m. show yeah uh it's 10: p.m. 10 p.m. show 10: p.m. show tomorrow at the Ice House and it's in the the big room which is still pretty small it's only like 150 seats right 200 is it 200 I think so no way really or 200 whatever it is it's awesome it's one of the best clubs in the world it's uh they just celebrated their 50th Anniversary if you could believe it or not it's I think it's bit oldest ones right I think is the oldest it the place oozes character I mean it's just been around forever it oozes it it's just a oh it's like a museum like if you look around the walls and [ __ ] there's like all this like really old head shots and old contracts and old album covers and [ __ ] Social Security numbers yeah we we looked at one of them and Brian goes that's David Letterman social security number and then we had like get the manager over here and go you know you could read his social security number like I hope he didn't change his like they put up his goddamn contract from like 1976 or whatever the hell it was all right Paul yeah oh they waited it up I don't think they did yeah I think they I think we read it we read it out yeah yeah they didn't they they took down the picture immediately and then they out they Whited it out yeah but we uh you're welcome Dave yeah Dave you might have just got lucky Dave could have been one of those things yeah give me spot on your show now do you really want to go up there and stutter in front of the world [ __ ] yeah are you a letter if you had to choose between one show if you could go on one kemel 100% kemel he's the hippest right he's he's just the coolest guy the nicest guy have you seen uh Kimmel's million or or it's movie the movie what
they he Kimmel did this thing it's a short 7 Minute video or something like that it's called movie the movie it's a movie trailer about a fake movie but it has almost every single actor you can think of in the movie and it's so [ __ ] great that now they're showing it in movie theaters before movies because it's that's so good really yeah so if you go to YouTube and click uh movie the movie I think Kimmel has his own uh YouTube page but it's [ __ ] brilliant it's great see I'm a let D I'll tell you why I'm a let dud because I remember 30 years ago when letman was [ __ ] hip and how hip he was and how bad of a [ __ ] cuz he was going with the anti- guest and that's what nobody remembers and if you want to see a great performance go to YouTube and cck [ __ ] Rick [ __ ] pick on L [ __ ] what's the black dude from Buffalo the singer the one that died to crack and [ __ ] Rick James on Letterman watch what comedy was watch what hum was when he went up there with a white suit on and he sang 69 times really and he would put his tongue on when he sat down let him and looked him he goes that was quite a song he go is that on your Christmas album that's what was the [ __ ] Jack then another time he brought it you know how he brings in dogs he brought in a police dog from caned airport right he's like show him what the dog is doing finally goes can I ask you a question let's put this dog into the audience just to see if anybody's got drugs there's 20 [ __ ] years ago so he was very hip it's just now he's old and now people who go on there are selling shows or it's not just about people going on and talking when Rick James got on watched the interview didn't promote nothing I think he's just tired man yeah I can tell people get dog 5 days a week 5 days a week 30 [ __ ] years you got to be fresh you got to look good you don't want to perform too [ __ ] bad look at your contract [ __ ] five shows a [ __ ] week you know look at Chelsea Handler what she's doing is rough you run out of [ __ ] sometimes yeah you know five days we only do this the most we've ever done this is like four days in a row and you guys got see if we did that every day it would have no writers if you had commercial breaks you the thing that why I don't like sign that live is why I don't agree with S9 live is
because when you watch the end of it look at how many writers they got so you got 40 writers for this [ __ ] I'd rather you have four and write a masterpiece you have 40 writers and you're still doing jokes about I got bit in the dick it looks like you're going to die seriously 40 [ __ ] writers this is why I don't get it I don't understand you got bit in the dick is that a poison joke remember that [ __ ] joke that the my uncle got bit in the dick by his snake so he called a guy and the doctor says you got to suck it up and he up the phone he goes what do he say it looks like you're going to die yeah this the third grade joke I seen that once on that [ __ ] thing so you got 40 [ __ ] writers you know how hard it is to do let them in every day you got to look at topical [ __ ] you got to look at government [ __ ] I mean that's a tough job if he does five shows a week you know sometimes he lucks out because you got a great guest right sometime but what if somebody goes on there [ __ ] punk or something like that you're going to save the show with animal tricks it's 11:30 at night well he's notoriously hard himself too like he's one of those guys that after it's over he gets angry and starts getting pissed that show sucked and like really really gets hard on himself we're comedians yeah what was we kill and we suck yeah how come when we kill we go home we can't fall asleep well sometimes it feels good but most of the time there's like one thing that you're still struggling with trying to put it in order even if you had a great set they give you a standing ovation if you blobbed one joke that that one blub will [ __ ] haunt you forget I've been with you backstage where you get off stage yeah and you've killed and you look at Brian you say I forgot to do that joke we just killed but we forgot to do that [ __ ] joke how hard are we on ourselves [ __ ] I wrote that all [ __ ] night I killed him I had him and I [ __ ] forgot the joke so you just killed somebody else would have been [ __ ] happy somebody El said [ __ ] the joke not us three I go home now in that car ride on the way home I'm figuring out that set why I said that how can I make it better and I got a pen and pencil in the [ __ ] car now a little notepad which is worst and texting which is by the way another
reason why you should get a [ __ ] iPhone cuz that voice memos from uh the I got the [ __ ] voice memo voice memo sinks up to your car so as you dve Caro go right off the stage and then boom it starts playing your set incredible the only thing is I don't know when the [ __ ] it's going to go so I put the p i put the padn pencil right [ __ ] next to me and that's it we got to rock this [ __ ] close this beach I love this [ __ ] I love that you guys dude you're the best what are you talking the thank you very much for having you have enriched my life considerably Joe yeah yeah yeah yeah right you are thank for allak you me [ __ ] listen we've had some [ __ ] great times together man and uh I ain't going nowhere I still been 20 [ __ ] years of course you are listen I'm I'm not I'm not guessing I think uh you know you uh being with us and I'm one of the reasons I'm I'm really excited about you coming to Atlanta is like we said you I never did it the first special I did or the first uh CD I did was in 1999 that's the only thing I've ever done without Joey Dan but I was the yeah he was in the cover I was in the cover he was in the cover naked I was in the middle of your CD usually somebody has a CD they open it it's a picture of them hanging out smoking a joint drinking a beer no you put a picture of me with my nut sack out and my stomach right over it which only a few people still have that picture I have a bunch of those man if you still have that picture we got to sell I have a bunch of those CDs I have those CDs I have a stack of them yeah we got to sell those on the road because they they CL you could blow that up and it's $147 on [ __ ] Amazon man and you can't even get that CD anymore I I I got to figure out a way to to get it reprinted or something like that just it digitally just put it on I don't own it Warner Brothers owns it was my first CD was a Warner Brothers CD we'll talk to them cuz I would love to get it put on bugs up I only have I have a stack of them in my closet and that's about it but they're they're like stupid expensive on Amazon because they're you can't buy them new but that photo of you yeah I mean that was uh I was a Joey Diaz fan from the [ __ ] beginning this was we did that CD in 199 9 you know that was
creepy as day we took pictures with these creepy strippers their boyfriends were there puffing them up and yeah it was real weird disgusting in the room in the main room they were we wanted to get girls that looked like they had been partying you know we didn't want like the best looking girls we wanted girls that were pretty but girls that were had mileage yeah they had mileage on them we we were looking for a certain look like I wore a tie and a suit jacket and so we uh the [ __ ] they sent us they look like they got run over the [ __ ] bus that one chick's [ __ ] was flat like a like a like a [ __ ] it was just flat it had no lump to it or nothing there was a lot of that going on there the boyfriends were the weirdest thing though when you get to that that sort of a weird uh there's a lot of dudes that like will find a girl that's like a stripper and they just like mooch off the girl they get into their heads too like I'm your confidence you've done this before go out there and show them how beautiful you are well a lot of guys don't want you know guys who are successful they don't want their girlfriends out there they're rubbing their [ __ ] on somebody's pants you know Amen brother amen son so a lot of it is like girls who they find guys that have to deal with that because the guys don't have any money so they they have these weird relationships where the woman is the one who makes the money and the guy sort of like that the guy who stays home and [ __ ] and you know carries their their luggage when they go on the road with them and stuff picks them up and he's security Jesus Christ I'm [ __ ] security and [ __ ] yeah anyway Miami [ __ ] this weekend Rogan's in Louisville Kentucky red bands at the ice running [ __ ] tomorrow tomorrow Wednesday night 10 p.m. come on down Pasadena this is going to be a fun [ __ ] show and it will be our 200th podcast episode if you don't make it Wednesday we have one Friday also just go to ice housec comedy.com but you won't be there because you'll be in Louisville checking me out [ __ ] with Duncan trussle at the Louisville improv Holla At Your Boy Friday Saturday and Sunday tickets available online tickets for Miami 305 441 8200 call right now [ __ ] suckers mad flavor on Twitter follow him follow Red Band on Twitter
and my name is Joe Rogan if you go to Joe rogan.net and click on the link for the Fleshlight you can enter in the code name Rogan and save yourself 15% off the number one sex toy for men and we thank them for being our first original sponsor here on The Joe Rogan Experience thank you to h.com o n niit t uh makers of Alpha Brain shroom Tech sport shroom Tech immune and new mood all of them explained in great detail on on it.com o n niit t first order of 30 pills you is uh there is a 100% money back guarantee you don't even have to send your pills back you just get your money back we don't want anybody to get ripped off and I will tell you with 100% honesty this is all stuff that I take and I've taking it even before I ever started selling it yo so that's it that's the end of this [ __ ] episode I love you [ __ ] we love the [ __ ] out of you guys for real thanks to everybody thanks on Twitter and Facebook and all you delicious [ __ ] and we will see you tomorrow with the great Duncan trussle in another episode that will be number 200 oh [ __ ] and then the Big Show congrats Dina thank you love you bye [Music]