Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-jA_KpH46s
[Music] by night from the bartender at The Comedy Store that's right to Saturday Night Live yeah what the [ __ ] yeah yeah I'm still I'm still processing that if you want to be how many years was it how many is I worked at the store yeah think 10. 10 years of the store what year did you start would you just start comedy if I'm not mistaken it was 2011. oh cheers my friend cheers so good to see you thank you so much congratulations on your success thank you it's been amazing this is a dream come true just being here just the success right here it's a dream come true for me to see you rise I love it I love it when I see people start off at the store and just get their feet under them and get their [ __ ] together and pull it off it's so exciting yeah it's so exciting it's still unreal I'm still I'm still like kind of mentally still in California because I remember I was out there just this little chick from New Orleans I'm like what the hell am I doing in California what am I doing driving down Sunset and seeing these beautiful palm trees the things that I would see on television and then that time just went it just it just left isn't it weird like the first time I came to California was 93. I was with my friend Gary Valentine and we we were out here to do some [ __ ] for MTV and we were driving around like are we really here yeah I was 26 and I was like what the [ __ ] is this place this place is so weird it just felt like I'm not supposed to be here or something yeah that's exactly what it felt like for me yeah I just got it where I fit in over there yeah you know what I'm saying it's weird got me a little job I moved out there I had me a little change because I had uh I didn't work for six months when I first went out there because I fell in the hole in New Orleans a hole Yeah I was just I was just minding my business walking down the street and I I just flew I just fell out of the world into a hole it was wet cement that was not blocked off oh no and I went down to like Nick oh no so I was just like but just trying to get out and my stupid ass I didn't realize how dangerous it was for me to be in that hole I was laughing
the whole time I was like ah stupid ass fell in the hole and then I had to I was the Walgreens right there so I had to go I bought like some pajamas or whatever they had and I went home and my parents are like this is not funny like you could have lost your life and then I got this major lawsuit I had to go to physical therapy because my adrenaline was pumping so I didn't know I was hurt um so the next day I was just like oh my back was stressed my arms were stressed because I was banging on the ground trying to get out trying to put myself to the cement to uh climb out how did you get out did someone help you I know nobody was outside I was screaming but I was laughing because I'm goofy and I'm like you dumb [ __ ] how you fall into a hole but I didn't realize how serious it was until after and then my parents they bought me to Lloyd they're like hell no like no you could have you could have died and then I just I forgot all about it I went to therapy for a year and then I got a check it took a year to get better from that well you know with the lawyers and [ __ ] you got to go to therapy while they lit again and figure [ __ ] out and then did you have any like lasting problems from it um for a couple years my neck I had a strained back I had a strained neck um but I was well I was living in for six months in Los Angeles with no job I was I was compensated pretty well so that's what got you to La fallen in a hole that's what got me financially able able now me going to La that's a different story so did you start stand up in New Orleans where'd you start I started in so I was always a comedian in my head like I would always like make up these little jokes New Orleans wasn't big on Comedy they're still not too they're growing it's a growing comedic Community out there right now and um I just my my family is they comedians they just goofy I mean we don't cry at funerals we just super I mean just dumb just my mom cracked jokes when she was punishing me as a kid she would say riddles while she was whipping my ass I mean it was nothing like everything was just funny it was nothing ever serious in my family and like if we you know on the weekends you know you clean the house you listen to music we listen to
Comedy in my house and before I went to sleep every night I watched Comic View on BET so I was like you know what I want to do that and um so I started in Los Angeles when I got out there so that so the store was the first time you did stand up uh I think the first time I ever did a set was at the Ice House in the Rhino room the little room just yeah the small room in the back yeah that small room is the [ __ ] oh yeah I'll if I need to go and practice something that small room is truth serum I love jokes suck in that small room they suck yeah I'll go take a nice sexy bomb in them little bitty rooms just just some [ __ ] I'm just got in my head and I need to get up oh yeah like the belly room Rhino room I don't know if the Laugh Factory got a little room no no so I never really I just like the little baby rooms those little rooms are when you're with a tiny amount of people you get to see what's [ __ ] in your act yeah and it's close and it's intimate yeah and you look at people dead in the eyes yeah like you so yeah I like the smaller rooms so that was your first set so what year was this I think this was like June 2011. it's probably on one of my okay I keep my calendars it's probably one of my old calendars so I don't think I met you until I came back to the store which was the 14th 2014 I think yes and that's when all the stories started happening about you I was like because I'm like yo that's the fifth Factory dude The Fear Factor dude I'm like what because I didn't know the history so when okay so basically I'm I'm like this this this chick from this from you know New Orleans Louisiana it's the country you know what I'm saying is New Orleans is a city but I went to school in Thibodaux Louisiana it's and that's super super Country Town right now I always had dreams of coming to Hollywood but I ain't know how I was going to get there so I was it was just word it was just me verbally speaking it so I didn't know what I was gonna do and then I moved back to New Orleans I was in an eight-year relationship with this girl uh we broke up I didn't know how to be hurt that was my first time ever being hurt so I started following her everywhere oh no
and like stalking her and everybody used to sit outside in this tree with snacks and weed you sat in a tree I I'm telling you I was tripping I was young and I didn't know what to do and that I don't know I was tripping anyway cut all that [ __ ] short I'm like you know how you just gotta look in the mirror sometimes and be like yo you tripping right like chase your dreams like don't be chasing no females like what are you doing right so I just had like this Epiphany about myself like bro like get out of here and within a week I was out I was out I told my job I quit I told my moms I was leaving I packed up all my [ __ ] in this two-door uh blue Honda thing and I drove across the country just like that wow and that's how I got into comedy because I had an interview at The Comedy Store and when I got there it was like 75 people in the original room and I looked around I ain't never seen no [ __ ] like that before or audition you waiting in the office this one two people made me this was a line full of people waiting to be seen so I pulled back I was like all right okay um if I get this job that mean it's meant for me to do comedy because like I ain't no way I'm gonna get this job out all these people so I get interviewed the dude Mark he loved the fact that I was from New Orleans he was gay and he loved the fact that I was gay so he was I got hired and I had a lot of Charisma Joe come on now come on now had you ever bartended before yeah yeah I bartended for I think two I think two years um before but that's the comedy see people a lot of people be sleeping on a comedy so that's a whole different ball game yeah the volume up in that place is crazy you're doing three shows a night sometimes where you gotta switch out I mean you got to work fast because you're serving what 400 500 600 700 you could be serving 800 to 900 people a night and you got to get them all two three sometimes full drinks within two hours yeah you guys hustle back there you go and I mean we sweating we soaking wet I know I was always impressed I was always impressed watching you guys hustle back there man ask I mean you know I mean you making
money you're having a good time and you in this in this in this family oriented you know it's family owned so you're having a good time but you gotta move well that area that back bar area is like that's the vibe like everybody comes back and checks in on everybody hugs everybody says hi what I love about it is we got to sip a little bit too while we was we come in that [ __ ] thought with us oh we'd always do shots together we're like all right everybody come on now uh y'all know how it's gonna be I think I probably did a thousand shots with you before shows we always did shots we had to because it's like but I love working at places like that too that's not like corporate and they allow these staff to have a good time yeah yeah you know it's like do whatever you want as long as you get the job done get the job done don't steal yeah don't play period yeah that's it and we was like cool you ain't gotta say nothing and the confidence though is a place of the customer ain't always right like don't come in here with that [ __ ] yeah we kicking you out yeah on site yeah don't start with the comedians on stage we don't really care what happened between you and the server the server gonna win well we know the servers we know they're not [ __ ] no there's no [ __ ] there you know there was a few over the years but they kind of weeded them out don't know there's a few it's a place of like you know if if you're not with us you're against us and you got to go and we'll we'll figure that out real fast yeah real fast I saw so many people try to flex and talk to the manager and think they're gonna get somebody fired and uh it's hilarious the the reaction is So Different At The Comedy story like yeah you gotta go they're like what yeah you got to get out of that if that person was rude to me and no they definitely weren't look handle it if there was don't come up in here with that [ __ ] handling it that was real to you all right go ahead awesome we're pretty suspicious yeah and we all grown-ups in here yeah don't come with the tattletailing and all that [ __ ] yeah I probably should have got written up so many times so many times at The Comedy Store I curse so many people out
at that bar nah you're supposed to because like what do you don't coming you know like people would come in there just doing the weirdest stuff and have the weirdest energy well they would come into the back bar too thinking they could order a drink like hey you're in the employees area like why are you back here like drunks would wander through those doors and just make it into the back area but that was another thing about the store too because it's like we expect for you to know what your lane is but then you know you get somebody else they take a mile and they think they run the joint and then we got a problem but I do appreciate the people that come there really want to be a part that just shows you that it's a good place and people really want to be a part of this family well it is a family and it is an amazing place that place has launched so many careers I mean the history of that building is just insane even before The Comedy Store the history of the building back when it was Ciro's nightclub and you know and Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis and Sammy Davis Jr look all these like world-class talents would be on that stage yeah some good spirits in there yeah there's some for sure and a lot of murder too yeah I uh so Jeff Scott God Rest his wonderful soul on Halloween he would do like these uh these little haunted Comedy Tour Expedition Exposition things up in uh in a building and he would show us all the places where the bullet holes were and you know and he would tell us like all of these crazy stories yeah about you know like the abortion room and all of this stuff I don't know I don't think so but it's still like something super interesting and super fun and I'm just sitting up there I'm new yeah I'm just like what is crazy the truck house the murder it was 100 a mob owned nightclub that was that's the fact yes you gotta think that some evil [ __ ] went down oh yeah in that building absolutely it was owned by Bugsy Siegel I did I don't think I knew that yeah Bugsy Siegel owned the The Comedy Store before Mitzi did but when that when did that switch over what year was that like wasn't that like in the 40s that's a good question like what year was Ciro's nightclub Jamie because uh I think Mitzi
took it over in the 70s okay Mitzi and Sammy they took it over in the 70s and then um because yeah right what year did uh was it owned by Bugsy Siegel yeah it was a size in 57 and came a rock club for a little while so it opened in 1940. Sears became a popular night spot for celebrities and it closed in 57. it was reopened as a rock Club in 65 and then what year did uh Desi Arnez played there too wow Cyril's once the most glamorous club in Hollywood I think the comedy store opened in the 70s 72 yeah because was it last year the 50th yes it must have been yeah we in 2023 that is crazy it was called the Kaleidoscope in 68. and that was called its boss in 69. oh my God patch two and then The Comedy Store in 72 and 72 to today yeah the Kaleidoscope I never did you know that no I didn't know it was anything I had remembered it was something other than cereals for a little while but I don't remember what it was but you know the big names were cereals in the store that was the big names uh now that that I never knew I thought it went straight from Searles Tina Turner Turner wow oh my God oh my God I gotta talk to Jen I wonder if she knew this because this is serious I gotta talk talk the lead too like this is crazy who's Dick Dale John F Kennedy uh John F Kennedy was there wow he dined its Heroes and 65 I believe this is like old surf rock kind of wow man the history of this place is crazy crazy but it feels like it when you walk around the Joan Crawford Frank Sinatra they have a gardener Sidney Poitier Harry Lewis Lucille Ball D Martin Ronald Reagan was there wow Mickey Rooney wow crazy all the people that frequented it George Burns Jimmy Stewart Jack Benny crazy I I can't believe the president was in there yeah it was popular like that it was popping like that I think it was the spot and Hollywood was the spot and that was the spot in Hollywood yeah you know that I mean it's such a magic room I mean everything about that place is just it's so set up it's you know all the weird little corridors and weird little
places in it I remember uh pull that thing up too fast I remember when uh covet hit I was so afraid I was just scared that maybe it'll get shut down because things wasn't looking right it came close I was just like that was one thing I was saying please don't let this place shut down please don't let this place shut down well fortunately they made a lot of money from 2014 to like 2019 like when it went down you know 20 when it stopped when everything stopped so they had some money put away but you know how long can you stay open and pay the rent and not have any income coming in yeah when covet hit I had to leave because I wouldn't I didn't have any income coming in I was like ain't no way in hell I could stay up in this in Los Angeles so had you done any road work by then like what you would you've been doing stand up since 2011 right right right and like where you'd only been doing in La where had you been doing it um I would get like small gigs like I would uh like the mad house would show me some love uh that's San Diego San Diego uh punchline San Francisco would show me some love um yeah yeah I love I love it I love it and uh I I honestly did not know what I was doing I I just kind of I just kind of fell and I didn't fall into the comedy game because that's what I wanted to do and when I got the job at the store I'm like all right bet you're supposed to do comedy I I was the type of person I'm like you know what I'ma just ride it out I'll probably you know of course I had dreams but I but the way it's set up like how hard it is and how much rejection is out there I just was like you know what I'm probably just gonna be a communist comic forever [ __ ] it whatever right so then I just I get passed in 2016. surprised I was like oh okay for sure but I had a killer set my set was super ridiculous and from that I got a manager I did this show with my guy Muhammad uh Weinberg with Sarah Sarah Silverman company so I got managers through that it was called please understand um and then
they uh my managers Dave Becky and Ethan Stern they like all right kid what you want I said what one they say I was like I just thought there's like nah you you you we about to put your life together now I'm like I bet I want to do this this this this and this this cool now it's time to goal it out let's roll and I was like all right so that's when things became a little more serious and that's when I started like really learning the game but I didn't really know about the road until three years ago and but that but of course that was after um SNL and now I went from doing 15 minutes at The Comedy Store to oh no now you got to do an hour you on TV I'm like oh okay um you got an hour absolutely no I don't how much time did you have I don't know 20 minutes 30 minutes of just [ __ ] that I had accumulated over the years right but now it was time for me to start putting it all together right and every single step of the way while I was doing that I was thinking about you because I remember we had a conversation at the store I would ask you for advice I know you gave a lot of people advice you probably don't remember you told me this but you was just like economy of words like what that mean Joel [ __ ] all that get rid of all that fat get to the point find out how to explain your stories simply quickly get to the punch line I'm like all right so as I'm putting this set together I got paragraphs and paragraphs of [ __ ] trying to describe my joke and I'm like economy of words [ __ ] and then I'm and that's when my comments started getting better because I'm like all right I'm gonna say a sentence I'm gonna say a joke I'ma say a sentence I'm gonna say a joke and if I gotta tell a story with it I'm gonna make sure I got references inside of it and act out so it so it could be full and they'll have Aerospace in it yeah so I'm still working on that though by the way but I'm better but we all are yeah you work on it forever yeah yeah I agree especially because you're gonna always come up with new material so if you come up with new material they're always
working on it yeah yeah that's why I like doing a little the small rooms to work on it but my small rooms now are the clubs you know what I'm saying like there's no more I mean don't get it twisted I'll go do some comedy in a coffee shop in a second I'm I'm humble I'm not about to be I ain't gonna cut that's not me you know but before all it is just my rooms took Obama and was the coffee shop or a library or the back of a basement yeah I mean not the back but in a basement or something like that but I'm I'm leveling up now so but I still don't know what it feels like to like really truly perform in a big theater you know what I'm saying I guess like things just kind of turned around for me so fast that I was never put in a a situation to go open for anybody so not just I just got to figure out how to do it now you know just now I'm working up to the theaters without having a experience of of doing it as a headliner right I'm learning look this is from the mud man I they got some days I'd be like Punky what are you doing I got a question myself every day because I don't know but I'm doing it keep doing it yeah keep doing it one day you look back and you go how the [ __ ] did I get here yeah oh yeah they they got times I'll be like Punky you know what you still got time to just you know that you know they'll get your job back at the store yeah you know because it get hard and but I'm like my mother didn't raise me to be no sucker so it's like you know I just gotta talk myself out of this I'm like [ __ ] wake up come on stop all that stupid [ __ ] he was made for this you was born for this let's go yeah that's called imposter syndrome everybody has that yeah yeah yeah yeah if you're good you have that because the people that don't have that are usually delusional they don't they don't critique themselves you know sometimes I wish I was delusional no sometimes because these delusional people they out here [ __ ] up everything with a smile like yep I did
that like no this is bad for you the delusional people are weird like you'll see them go on stage at the comic store and just eat [ __ ] and come off with a big smile on their face like you're not suicidal man I I I hate that that's weird yeah it's weird and some of them they're paid regulars like they get they keep going like I'm like What's Happening Here I have seen a lot of people get like way better like mad egg oh yeah hell in the stage like Matt Edgar like super goofy dumb funny to me man and um I don't really remember everybody that be up in there but I know uh Melissa Venezuela I hope I said her her last name right I always be having problem too Melissa look happy as hell Melissa been glowing I'm like girl I'm like I'm like with you I'm happy I'm just happy dude she got all kind of like I think it's like JCPenney endorsements and stuff like she really doing it I'm happy for her but I missed the store I do well you know it's a chapter in your life it's always going to be a thing you know you're always going to miss that just the vibe of going into that pushing through those Swinging Doors and all the hustle and bustle and everybody's laughing and talking [ __ ] and all the waitresses are laughing The Comedians are laughing everyone's having fun and everyone's working I missed the store I missed Jeff I miss Jeff too this is not the same I'm I'm like I go in the original room like man I don't even want to walk in this room no more but you know what guess what time don't wait for people things happen you got to move on but it's still different without Jeff it's different yeah yeah yeah Jeff Scott was the [ __ ] man he was you know such a big part of the store you know he would just always crack jokes with him he would come talk to you about sets and stuff that you were doing he was just he was like um almost like a counselor you know he was like it was a part of the family but he was almost like he had a very specific role as the guy who played the piano you know when and brought all the comedians up in between the comedians for people don't know Jeff Scott would play piano and but he was it was more than that like with some
comedians they would work with him so he'd play some music while they were on stage and he would give him like sound cues and [ __ ] around with them and but he was just an easy guy to be around too Jeff and I we had this thing where I would sing uh like my little songs and stuff at the end of night and he would play with them right and and he would be filming a lot of them and when he passed away I called one of the managers at the store I was like I'm gonna need y'all to get all that all of it um because me and Jeff used to say some [ __ ] okay because you know The Comedy Store is like look come in here be yourself do your thing we don't give a [ __ ] you know we want your authentic self and I was very very my authentic self so I'm like get them [Laughter] they're like we got [Laughter] yo but you know like now I have this you know SNL is my first corporate job right you know what I got rules to follow and [ __ ] you know that's and you know you gotta like especially in this climate you just gotta watch what you do and watch what you say and that's a big shift coming from somewhere where you didn't have to watch what you did and you didn't have to watch what you said it's like the polar opposite of the comments 100 yeah you know so you just gotta be smart I have to be smarter in a way that I deliver or decide to say something sometimes because I could say something somebody could take that blow that [ __ ] all out of context and then boom that's my job I'm just and you just never know yeah but that's okay too even if that happens even if it does I mean you're gonna always be all right but then that's gonna piss me off yeah because it's like yo why why everybody's talking all this drama over simply misunderstanding something that somebody said well it's purposely misunderstanding it like people are doing it on purpose it's people that just you know what it's like it's like the world is filled with glass houses and there's just buckets of rocks everywhere yeah people just want to
smash a window it's like it's it's so easy to bring someone down now especially someone that said they tweeted some [ __ ] in 2009 or said some [ __ ] it's like it's a normal part of human culture like when you see someone especially someone like yourself that's on the rise and all of a sudden you're doing great people that aren't doing great they want to chop you down and you know what it's like like there's one thing about comedy that's fascinating is that when you start out anybody can start out you know anyone can get on that stage open mics it's for anyone like literally anyone including mentally ill people yeah and so you got a lot of mentally ill people that you're sharing space with and you're hanging out with them all the time and then you start to do well and they get angry at you like people that have like severe narcissistic Tendencies and severe jealousy and I've seen that with people it's it's interesting to watch it uh out from the outside watching like doorman and uh bartenders and people that just start out and then one of them starts doing well and then they start getting gigs and then they start opening for people and they see the [ __ ] hate and the other people man it's it's fascinating to watch that and so those are the ones that want to take you down the ones I want to take you down the ones that can't do it yeah that's very interesting it it you especially like working at the store because the big the big Comics will come in and they'll just pick people and you would see it because people that's been at the store for a while they wouldn't get picked to go on a road or open up but like people come there and be new you want somebody else oh no no no no no no no no let me tell you let me tell you how I'm losing my job for sure if I smoke that [ __ ] really look I start look I gotta you know what I gotta do with marijuana I gotta smoke that [ __ ] at the house nobody there it's just me I can't get on the phone really yes I have to be in my own thoughts oh interesting yeah sometimes sometimes I feel myself while I'm high you was what I'll go crazy like weed makes me crazy I'm paranoid I'm always worried about my parents
um I always start feeling also like I ain't [ __ ] with marijuana but a lot of people that smoke they're like look just keep smoking keep smoking that's just a wall you gotta break through but I can't I can't I can't let myself feel that way maybe it's the weed that I'm smoking I don't know but no I know what you're talking about I feel that way too yeah it's like it's humbling and that's what I like about it yeah it makes me feel I'm like I'm not good enough I just but it makes me get up and work yes that's what I'm talking about that's the good part about it yeah like if you if that's why I'm scared of things that make you overconfident like things that make you overconfident I think are terrible for you yeah I think you're you're probably it depends on the person clearly because some people have a real problem with confidence and they don't have any and for them marijuana could be debilitating but I think for some people that are doing well it's good it's a little reality check it's like you need to look at the big giant picture and sometimes you don't you just get so locked in with blinders on looking at your own you know day-to-day existence and knowing things that you concentrate on that you think are important marijuana sort of dissolves any artificial barriers and just makes you look at things for what they really are I I do allow myself to feel that once a month but I have to be alone well that's probably good you know how to handle it it's smart that's a good way to handle it that's right I I I get me some marijuana maybe because you go to the stores now and they'd be like oh this is that uh Lily like polywop I'm just like look I don't give a [ __ ] just give out just give me the [ __ ] I'ma smoking yeah just your hybrid and your uh mix mixed with uh your hybrid so that's your Indica mixed with just sativa I'm like man I don't give a [ __ ] just give me some just give me some weed bro I don't know nothing about weed like that so I want once a month I'll smoke it I'll go through all my emotions I cry I uh I reset yeah I recharge yeah and it honestly looks like I'm in a crazy house I had to film myself one time it kind of looks like I'm wrapped up because I'm always I start rocking and I'm doing all of this and I'm crying and I'm talking
to myself I'm like you ain't [ __ ] them like [ __ ] please please you got it and then because my emotions are all over the place when I'm smoking so I'd rather just not do that in public that's a good call I feel like those things you're describing though as an artist it's a normal thing it seems so crazy that you know you would battle with you ain't [ __ ] and you got this and that it's like both sides of your brain are sort of duking it out yeah but I think as an artist that's something that does have like you have to have as a performer in particular you have to have a certain amount of confidence you have to be able to go up there and know that you got it but also you have to have a certain amount of humility and you have to have a certain amount of perspective and sometimes it's hard and the better you get the better you do in life the more success you get I think it's harder to have that perspective because you you know it's easier to just believe your own [ __ ] it's easier to like pretend you're different than everybody else it's easier to do that like that you're special yeah but marijuana like lets you know like right away [ __ ] you ain't special no no it's these voices of fear and you're gonna die oh my God yeah yeah and You're vulnerable as [ __ ] so is everyone you love you know we're all in this together yeah and it just it makes me like a more considerate person it makes me a Kinder person you know yeah yeah you always been considering the kind ain't gonna lie you come to the store I remember they had some drama at the store one time and you was like you you was like absolutely nothing I won't say what it was but you had our back like the servers you protected us and you was like [ __ ] no not on my watch and we was like yes Joe he loves us well sometimes people uh they abuse people that like work in the service industry yeah you know it happens a lot unfortunately you know I try to pay it forward you know you can always like when I go to restaurants and stuff you can always tell that I served and I bartender for a while because all I stack everything up nice they like will you chill I'm like let's have it uh I just clean the [ __ ] table for the
people they just come pick the [ __ ] up and and then I tried my hardest to uh tip at least 50 like and I also get that from you yeah I'm like you know Joe come in he man you show Mad Love he was the reason why we made money a lot a lot of nights and so I just try to pay that back I it feels good I tell people it's like you leaving love bombs leaving a love bomb like even if you're not even there to watch it go off I like to get out of the room before they even see the tip yes just enjoy that I mean I can't do it all the time yeah but sometimes I'm with my girl and I'm like if this I mean especially if the people were incredible I look at my girl I'm like we blessing these people tonight she'd be like blessing baby even better if you say it that way yeah so and it feels you know because yeah because that like you said I don't need to stay and see any reaction yeah I think that's missing in cultures where they don't tip like I think the problem with with uh tipping is that you could still pay someone like two bucks an hour which is kind of crazy yeah which is crazy like if it's two bucks an hour is so crazy especially like if you not if you don't have a job in New York because I think you can do that in New York I think there's a lot of places you could do that well what the thing is it's like if you what what I mean is if you do it in New York I don't think it matters because people in New York they just have this scent they just know the tips right right they just know the show it's an East Coast there yeah but you know you know a lot of people on the East Coast are tippers I like that about these I love the East Coast I don't think I'm going back to the West Coast I think the problem with the west coast is too many people are trying to be famous and when you you got too many people trying to be famous you have like a high percentage of narcissists and a high percentage of sociopaths not me no no I don't mean it's like all of them but it's like what's the average the percentage of sociopaths I think they say it's like 10 or something like that or four percent that's it yeah I don't I don't know I don't know how they really know you know they do it based on
a sample size I don't know I don't know if they really know the actual numbers but that's the estimate right and if you go to a place like Hollywood you got to imagine that most of the people that go there they the people that move there they move there to either be a part of the business like to be a producer or a director or something or they want to be in front of the camera and or they want to be famous they don't even know how right and they'll try to figure out a thing like you've seen people go they go from acting and then they're acting for a while and then they say you know I'm going to do stand up but we've seen a lot of those right and then they just but they don't really love stand up what they really love is getting attention they got broken when they were younger they have a hole inside of them that they need to constantly fill up with other people's attention and they'll pretend to be someone to get attention yeah which is the [ __ ] up thing about auditioning because you take a person who's like super insecure wants to come to Hollywood for validation and then you have this process where you have to beg people to like you you have to go in there and put on your best show and hope these people like you which completely changes the way people behave because those people that are so desperate for success or really want to make it they start behaving and thinking in a way that they think is going to get them successful in their business and they can't express unique or individual opinions on things they can't have controversial views you're not allowed to you won't get a gig and so you give all these people that just they become like this sort of Hollywood ideology espousers they just become these people that talk the same same way like you see them they say like when they see you they don't say nice to meet you Punky they say good to see you good to see you because maybe they've seen you already maybe they forgot right so instead of like just saying nice to meet you oh we met oh I'm sorry when did we meet instead of having a real moment it's good to see you everything's good to see you it's [ __ ] weird because they're like little robots like who the [ __ ] says good to see it's like if you brought a friend over and the friend says hi this is my friend Punky
hi Punky good to see you good to see you like what kind of weird people you're bringing over here yeah what the [ __ ] is going on good to see me yeah it's good to see it's good to hear you too dude it's so crazy I never thought about that yeah so that flavors the flavors the vibe of the city because it's the number one industry or at least the the most famous industry in in Los Angeles is the the television and film industry and then of course the music business which is kind of similar I mean when the record days in the record days and the radio days when it was really important you had to impress these people that were the record Executives and you had to impress these people who are the radio Executives because they would play your music right and they would pick you and there were so many people they could pick and they would pick you and they had these predatory relationships where they take an enormous amount of the money that you made and that was the only way you're gonna make it how else you're gonna make it you got to go through the system yeah and a lot of people who made it through like Prince how to change his [ __ ] name because he couldn't perform it with the name Prince he had to use that crazy logo that's crazy it's crazy that he pulled it off though he's learning an idea and he did it before social media yeah you know yeah like Kanye could change his name every week and people keep up Kanye can do whatever he wants he can change his name every week can't even did some [ __ ] Kanye's still popping they got some people that's just they took a big chunk out of his income like what what has happened said some [ __ ] and done some [ __ ] I mean some [ __ ] that them pissed me off yeah but he's not gonna go away he's too talented you know he's he's just not he's also I don't think he's a bad person I think I think Kanye the mistakes he's made I think he'll be pretty honest about it he's mentally ill and that mental illness allows him to have insane productivity with music I mean you can call it illness or you could instead say he's got this gift and this gift sometimes [ __ ] shoots off live rounds and all sorts of different directions but what it can do is produce some of the best [ __ ] music ever a
[ __ ] amazing jams where you listen to them and you like over and you forget sometimes I'm gonna play one you know oh [ __ ] I forgot about this one Kanye had some bangers like that mind that creates those bangers also says crazy [ __ ] by Hitler and I think also if you when he gets embattled the problem is he wants to fight back like I think part of the reason why he became a big Trump fan is because Obama called him a jackass I really believe that I didn't know that yes I really believe that because you gotta imagine having the president of the United States refer to you as a jackass and the first black president United States one of like in my in my life other than Kennedy who's a better spokesman who's a better Statesman than Obama who's like the most impressive of all presidents well you'd look to a guy and say that the way that guy thinks and talks that's a leader that's a real president United States and that guy so I think that [ __ ] stuck in his head hey Betty [ __ ] is Penny I mean he's you can tell he's better you see the [ __ ] that he writes about Pete Davidson yeah he's ruthless that was he's Petty but that's he's that's also the same mind it's the same mind that makes him be insanely prolific that's the same mind that has like this genius Association of Sound and Music it's the same mind simmered down yeah well he doesn't have a place I don't want to speak too soon he doesn't have a place to blow it off anymore you know which I also think is not good I think it's it's probably better to just let him say ridiculous [ __ ] on Twitter and let people refute it you know I don't think it's a good me you know I don't think it's a good move to eliminate a guy like that from being able to communicate I don't think that's the problem I think and I don't think he should be medicated either which is even crazier because like when he was medicated remember he was all slow and he got chubby remember I didn't know that he was on medication heavy [ __ ] well you know what I can assume slowed him down that people like him have to be you know medicated I just I just feel like billionaires sometimes they have nothing else to do but get medicated
yeah it's like because it's like you've done everything you've seen everything you've won all the awards you've married uh what the world considers the baddest [ __ ] you you you you you you have you it's like what else is there for you to [ __ ] do yeah but that doesn't mean you have to get medicated like you know what I'm saying but that's what I'm saying I got medicated because he had nothing else to do so he started doing [ __ ] that he probably wasn't supposed to do they're like all right let's calm down here pop this well I think you know people around him were concerned because he gets manic but that's that manic crazy energy is also what comes out in his music I mean talking to him is wild because when you're having a conversation with him like when I did a podcast with him it's like you could see you can see in some people where their mind is like a runaway train it's like a runaway train and ideas are coming in way faster than coming into my mind they're coming in and going and he'll go from one idea to the next idea and people say yeah he's rambling but I'm like but but is he or is he just sort of like he's being infused with way more ideas than we are like they're coming like elon's the same way when you're talking to Elon when I was talking to him I was like what is going on behind those eyes like how many different thought processes do you have running simultaneously right like I never wants to stop he's like always he's always got new ideas and thinking he's always like innovating creating it's a different kind of way of thinking and I don't think you get it and I don't think I get it I damn sure don't get it I don't get it I don't get it I just I just rather Kanye keep all his uh [ __ ] in his music he had sometimes he says wild [ __ ] that's really interesting like on my podcast he goes how much is the earth like if I wanted to buy the Earth how much does the earth cost that's called land costs money yeah he's like if land costs money could could someone have enough money they could buy the whole earth I was like oh [ __ ] yeah like that sounds ridiculous but if someone like Jeff Bezos has like 200 billion dollars like that's so much [ __ ] money like what's to stop someone from having 200 trillion and how much is the Earth how much is
the whole earth what is it and what if it's what if the horror is only 100 trillion you can own it all but also somebody has to pay your rent also is if the Earth for sale who's selling that money you're not selling it someone would have to make every single person an impossible offer let it have to make every single person an offer that you could not refuse that's so much money that every single person on the planet has to say yes I would think that that'll be a good investment on an earth yeah I think the only way someone's going to own the Earth is stealing it they're just going to afford imminent domain force people out of area that's how people own the earth I don't think they're ever going to own the Earth by buying it but but Kanye having that idea like how much is the earth cause like how the [ __ ] I've never thought of that so one that's that's what I hope you keep his wildest ideas and thoughts there it stops talking about human beings but sometimes dudes like that need somebody to bounce [ __ ] off of too they need like a more reasonable crazy person that's with them that can go slow down brother yeah I hear you but slow down you know with Elon Musk I know people to have their thoughts about him but I had a very great personal conversation with him and I think people forget that these people that have all this money and these people that are so smart and these people that are on TV they're human beings and they have real lives and me and Elon talked about his family and his children and that's when I was like okay this is a real person this guy has a heart and I I think he's actually a good a good guy if you sit down and you have an actual conversation with him just like off the record I love him I love talking to him he's he's a wonderful person he's just super genius just a ridiculously smart person but he's a human being like we all are we're all human beings I mean you could forget that when you see some dude who's making rockets and and you know making electric cars and satellites and [ __ ] trying to fix traffic yeah you forget that's just a human being I also thought he was going to leave everybody at SNL or Tesla because the host they leave us gifts
slippers shoes that's hilarious sometimes we'll come to work the next after that Saturday they uh we have a whole bunch of catered food or just food from Jack Hollow this food from such and such so I was like you know what what if Elon leave us all that was wrong that's so many Teslas how many Teslas would that be for how many people I think it would have been at the time when he came I think it would have been 22 Teslas they probably have a back order on those things anyway cars are I don't know if they've sorted that out yet with new cars but with new cars there was a backlog on new cars because of chips there's like a problem getting the chips the computer chips which are in every [ __ ] car now ah is the computer chips the like the um so you can know what a car is no so the computer works with the emission system and everything is computerized now oh okay also there's an operating system it runs like apple carplay okay carplay I don't know nothing but I don't know [ __ ] about cars yeah well I'm a car nut oh and so but uh the new ones are confusing to me like I get that all that stuff is important but it's confusing that we don't even make a lot of that [ __ ] over here like you know a lot of the chips that make taking them overseas oh yeah so I think they're having I think elon's working on making chips here and Samsung is working on making chips here but I think a lot of that was exposed during the pandemic that a lot of chips are being made overseas and they need them for cars so there's a big delay for a lot of different uh manufacturers so probably a lot of them are looking at trying to figure out a way but uh I had uh sauger and Crystal from breaking points on the other day and Saga was explaining it in depth and he was saying that that [ __ ] takes like 10 years like when you when you're when you want to start a factory and start building computer chips in America that's like 10 years from now you can but God damn it takes forever yeah that's why I stay technology confuses me politics confuses me those two things I like to just they're good like when I go buy a car yeah it's so simple and fast with me I go in a lot I'd be like I want that one they say okay
I'll be in and I'll be out they give me a price if I like it I like it if I don't I don't I'm like nah but we can't go down no more I bet I'm gonna go down the road then wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait what's up I said this is what I want this is how much I want to pay for it and I don't want to get in that room and then you offer me all kind of other [ __ ] I want the ties included I want the oil included I want the [ __ ] windshield included and when I get in that office I wanted to still be that price do you remember that did you see the movie Fargo you ever seen that movie is that is that Ben Affleck no Fargo is uh uh Steve Buscemi and uh it's uh it's a Coen Brothers movie um Francis McDormand I don't know why I'm seeing Ben the athletic I don't know hilarious scene where what is the gentleman's name the red-headed guy William H Macy who's hilarious in this movie he's trying to sell the undercarriage treatment like he's trying to sell it to these people like like as an upgrade to the car and they're like wouldn't want that and then he's like well I already added it on and then and then there's like this big like why the [ __ ] did you add it on yeah like I'm not paying for that like there's this big it's really funny man because I want to see so many of those salesmen that do that like dude please stop no stop with this upselling if my thing I like warranties I'll take warranty because I like the least calls because every three years I want another one I'll lease it I ain't gotta own it [ __ ] smart I don't give a [ __ ] I wanna what are you driving I'm in a Jeep Wrangler right now oh those are great yeah oh I love that [ __ ] oh look how many Jeeps there are on the road I mean think about how many how long Jeep's been around for they nailed that shape so good they don't even change it man the tires are this big I'm going over the over the neutral ground that's a real four-wheel drive vehicle you can drive have anywhere like you could go somewhere in a jeep you could go off-road when you're in the woods of sand they nailed that shape I mean when they first started making Jeeps like what year was that did it looks the
same as the 80s you know yeah oh yeah it looks [ __ ] great though it's a great shape oh yeah I love it I got a wheelie they're so reliable too I mean those they're so because it's a durable off-road vehicle like there's a lot of [ __ ] you don't have to worry about if you get a Jeep you have to worry about with cars like you run over something you can run over stupid [ __ ] that's in the road or bounce over like a little divot in the ground it's not as big a deal that's why I get that's why I'm like I want all the warranties included a note for sure I know a Jeep oh 100 because it's the snow and the potholes and the potholes are a big one you need some sort of uh like a rugged four-wheel drive vehicle if you want to get through a winner there I don't slow down on the potholes either that jeep that Jeeps absorbs Pap you know what I like too that new Bronco Ford figured out a new Bronco I you know I'm a Broncos fan but I'm not a fan of the body of the new ones how dare you let me pull can you pull it up let me look at it do you remember my 72 Bronco now that's the type that's the Bronco yeah that one I used to bring the store man like too many things for this new one too many choices that's an old one brother the one you have your question over I just typed in Ford Bronco oh I know it's 23 here um I drove one and it sucked but it wasn't the good one I know there's better versions of it it sucks rental car version yeah no not good well go go back to that link that you were just looking at and click on that one that says the Raptor there's a there's a Bronco wrapped right below that the black ones are all black to the left of that you were almost there to the left of that yeah that one that's a Bronco Raptor okay all right so that's a a regular Bronco with like a beefier setup and a heavy duty engine I think I think that has like what does that have for uh horsepower something crazy but jeep has one like that too jeep has like uh now see I like that I ain't gonna lie I do like that one what does it have for horsepower does it say I'm sure it will um I don't want to over exaggerate but I
think it's in the neighborhood 500 horsepower 0 to 60 in 5.2 seconds damn right 500 to 600 it doesn't oh interesting oh that's a large feature that's plenty one 418. oh it only has 418. so what is it about 500 to 600 it doesn't put up with the SUVs that have horsepower in the fiber oh doesn't put it up with SUVs oh okay well um there's a bunch of people that do [ __ ] to those things too but that's uh that's real similar to the V8 the big V8 that's in the Wrangler too but the point is like those cars that's a similar like the Jeep you can't you can't uh recklessly drive the Jeep it'll flip on your ass you can't just be sitting up there oh yeah spinning the curve and busting the whip nah it's not good for him no no no yeah drive normal you yeah drive normal in your Jeep because it reminds me of the Xterra just like yeah they're top-ending yeah imagine a sprinter van trying to do laps in a sprinter van that was ridiculous things oh my God yeah well well you you kill yourself yeah those aren't good well you can't anything who has a podcast set up in a Sprint event doesn't someone have one Stevo yeah really Stevo has like a sprinter van that's set up as a podcast studio and oh that's dope travels around with it and just films his podcast in the back of it okay I might have to check that out yeah it's a great idea yeah I had a friend uh Ron Taylor well he's still my friend I didn't had he's my friend um he used to do like cooking tutorials in his van he would have like a little uh he would have like a little what you call like one of them a little yeah like a little hot pot or whatever you call that [ __ ] and yeah like a little hot plate situation that you use for a dorm room and he'll invite guests and we'll cook and we'll talk um you're cooking the back of the van together and you're talking about what you're cooking then we both go sit in the driver's seat and passenger seat and we finished the podcast nice it was it I'm like Ron this needs to be a television show I'm still trying for that why it ain't on TV right now I'm like Ron what are
you doing well there's something cool about like making getting by with like a limited resource yeah a little hot pot yeah everyone working together but he cooking gourmet meals really hit my [ __ ] up in there making Lobster really oh pasta I'm about he made like a big thing of meat sauce spaghetti broccoli he not making noodles and cheese mmm this [ __ ] cooking I'm like let's go well and then uh Bert has that show something's burning which is a hilarious show I think I saw so I'm guessing Burpee [ __ ] everything up huh no he's good all right he loves food he knows how to cook a little bit yeah I just thought burp man that man he is out there killing it yeah I love bird shirt oh I love that he's blowing up and he's he's 100 himself you know that's that's who authentically Bert Kreischer is I love it he gets his wife on the line for the shows and that's that's good to get that my boy I think his wife gonna be on the phone look at that look at that selling out Arenas he's killing him killing his beer I think my homeboy uh uh uh Stephen Fury was opening up for him for a while probably still doing it I called bird up once he answered the phone he was on a motorcycle in Vietnam like what are you doing and he goes I'm over here riding a motorcycle in Vietnam filming my Channel show and I go dude you need to quit that [ __ ] show you need to quit that show and be a comic he goes really I go yeah I go you're too funny you're too funny man to be on a Travel Channel show I mean it's a great gig but I think you got everything out of it that you're ever going to get out of it and I think it's holding you back now you take months and months off of stand up or you have to tour to travel and do this show it's a good show and it's a good gig but you can do a lot better like you could do way better with stand up and podcasts and he listened so this this so this was back back in the day yeah it was back in the day when he was on birth to conqueror and uh there was uh there was another show where hert Burt was terrible they were hurting him in every episode every episode people like choke him unconscious hit him with a bat it was like so ridiculous it was different stunts and things that he would do
he did that for a little while that's that's a dangerous path the uh the the jackass path those guys are all beat up yeah yeah physically you get [ __ ] hurt bad doing that you get hurt bad animal shows dangerous [ __ ] that nah I had Stevo on and he showed a video Once of him on a tree and lions climbed up the tree and were [ __ ] with him and they took his hat they knocked his hat off and I was like oh my God those are real lions dude this isn't Africa real lions not not tame lions at some [ __ ] circus I ain't never going up never ever ever I don't really like the zoo like talking about it I don't like the zoo the animals are wild they need to be free exactly everybody I can all surprise when things happen they're [ __ ] animals it's very it's very confusing right because you're like well where do we put them and that's a good point and how do you make sure that they stay keep off the endangered species list that's a good point too but that is Hell especially for the primates I was in Denver once I'll never forget this I was walking with my family because my you know when my kids were real little I loved to take them to the zoo because they're so fascinating they're so I mean it's horrible that you're supporting this thing but selfishly I was like look it exists it exists already yeah there's nothing I can do about it and I'm not gonna like stop them from if I boycott if I stand up and say I'm not gonna pay it's still going to be there and I want my kids to see these animals so it's a weird experience and uh it's primate I don't know what kind of monkey it was but it was in its cage and it was screaming like a crazy person in prison like nah wow that's what it felt like and I was like I told my wife I was like I go this is depressing very I'm like I gotta get away from this I'm like this is really bumming me out we gotta free these animals I want I honestly want like the way my the way I Envision my life right like I want if if it was up to me I would have a ranch in a town a country town where the next grocery store is 20 30 minutes out like I just want to live away this is your spot then Punky right that's what I'm saying to Texas I just want to live away that's how people live out here I want a ranch a style home let's go pumpkin I
won't buy the acre of land not too much I'm gonna teach you how to bow hunt you you oh I need to go hunting with you let's go I wrote a sketch about hunting with Joe Rogan okay something happened that I had to shelf it that week but it was a Thanksgiving sketch about hunting with Joe Rogan um and it was it was you just like killing all of these exotic animals and like these people would these and we would just see these people in the woods who were kind of just like touring not killing oh Jesus Christ you was just a wild man like it was it was crazy I wanted to get you down to like guess but whatever whatever I'll bring that sketch back and we had to shelf it that week blah blah blah blah but sketches are fun but it'd be more fun to actually take you hunting I gotta do it and I never shot a gun before Oh my parents uh NOP where they were tired yeah yes yes my mother worked for the uh the uh the levy District police and my father was actual nopd for a long time he retired and now he does uh now he runs the security for the hospital because my mama made him go back to work but um we yeah I was praised around guns I remember I bought my first gun and I was so excited I called my dad I was like I bought my first gun he was like yeah this was in north New Orleans yeah I was like uh I said bought my first gun he was like for real he's like what you got so I got a nine he was like [ __ ] [ __ ] ass gun what do you want to get a 45 somethings something just I was thinking later he was like nah it's like the heavier it is the better it is he's like 45 you know yeah 40. but you know it's like he always made sure we were responsible like don't be out here stupid with this gun keep it locked up keep it safe go to the range understand your weapon yeah don't be out here wilding out don't use it to stunt don't use it you know for no validation in the hood we don't we don't have guns for all of that in my family I saw the most [ __ ] up video what there's so many [ __ ] up videos of people getting shot on Instagram now but I saw this one where these people were playing in a car and this girl pulls out her gun and accidentally shoots her
friend in the head I hate that and he just like slumps over and dies like right on the street she was just pulling out a gun to show it and they were all they're all casual and laughing and bang the gun the gun goes off it's careless she don't know what she's doing it's just careless it's like and you and you going to jail even though it was an accident you go to jail yeah because and he's dead and a man's dead yeah you you it wasn't intentional but you killed somebody that's horrible yeah it's like my thing is if you're going to have a weapon be be responsible with it learn how to use it learn how to take it apart clean it put your put your bullets in there just learn about your weapon I was just thinking how ridiculous it was that Clint Eastwood had a movie where the star of the movie was that he had the biggest gun he had a 44 magnum remember did you ever watch Dirty Harry no that was the whole premise of the movie like everybody else had a 38 he's got a 44. he might think did I shoot all those bullets or did I not do you feel lucky punk am I I might have to write that one now I gotta I gotta watch that one it's a corny ass movie and it's a it's a movie that if you watch it now it's so dated so go to go to the scene where Clint Eastwood says do you feel lucky from Dirty Harry where the guy is like the guy's like a cartoonish bad guy like the most evil cartoonish bad guy and Clint Eastwood gives him this do you feel lucky well do you punk you [ __ ] of course he shoots him this is a classic scene uh-uh I know what you're thinking you fire six shots or only five I'll tell you the truth in all this excitement I've kind of lost track myself but Ian this is a 44 magnum the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off you've got to ask yourself one question do I feel lucky well do you punk hey I got to know what the [ __ ] he wanted to know whether or not he had the bullets oh see every I've I've remembered this entirely wrong that's hilarious I
thought it was a Mexican dude I remember this entirely wrong in my mind it was a Mexican dude and he shot him enough so crazy so crazy that dude probably spoke like Sidney Poitier and they gave him that role I got to know oh that was hilarious I wouldn't have wanted to know [ __ ] well do you punk move those movies movies back then were so corny does it oh that's the other one that's the other one he this is the one so he's got multiple ones do you feel lucky punk part two go back to the beginning because I gotta hear him say it I don't think he said it yet here oh yeah you said it no not no oh okay there's much going on here oh he's holding the guy there it is foreign [Laughter] do I feel lucky well do you punk boy tits oh he feels lucky that was the one I kind of remember does it happen even I remember that wrong it's so funny how you like I haven't seen that movie in probably 20 years so I was in the same movie more than 20 years that was in the same movie yeah no [ __ ] way he said it twice both I mean unless they made dirty I don't this is I don't know if they made Dirty Harry more than once why wouldn't they they need to do it now when he's a thousand years old do you feel lucky I'll do you punk I meanwhile that dude also did The Unforgiven which was like the greatest Western of all time like he did a lot of corny ass movies but he also did some [ __ ] amazing movies man I got to take some time and watch some old movies I I I I just have to I I see I just have this crazy obsession with two things that I watch over and over again and freaking Gray's Anatomy and Walking Dead like that's it I'll watch all of that and then I'll go back to Walking Dead and then I have got to stop it's a problem I can't watch The Walking Dead more than once because I know what happens I get I I start falling in love with characters oh no so that's my problem and I just be missing them and gotta see them I know I know I know you know what I started uh The Last of Us the new HBO go ahead and say he says this in all of
these movies oh my God so there's there's five of them at least oh my God this seems a little later from 71 to 88 he made those movies wow that's insane the enforcer is Magnum Force Sudden Impact Clint bro those movies are awesome but you know what's even more awesome you know what I've been watching on YouTube dudes who review the latest Steven Seagal movies like this the you know look Above the Law is the [ __ ] I still maintain to this day great [ __ ] action movie Jim Carrey's in one of these wow oh wow he lip synced to guns and roses and the clitius would move me love it so that was in the 70s the 80s okay um love the boss loved Above the Law so the early Steven Seagal movies were legit they were great they were fun he looked like a bad [ __ ] like I believed it I think it was like one of the most realistic martial arts action films ever because he wasn't doing jump split kicks he was bashing people over the head with pool sticks and and [ __ ] breaking their arms and [ __ ] it was more realistic I liked I see I now I can [ __ ] with the martial arts I love it I want to get into some uh fun uh Wing Chung I want to get into some Wing Chun yeah because I love it man oh okay we've been watching a lot of that but you want to learn it I do I do I want to school I gotta so I've been boxing going on two years now getting fast boxing's better I'm getting good I'm getting fast but I like the smoothness of wing Chung right you know I like I do like to I do like the Box boxing to me a lot of people try to rush it but it's all in your feet everybody try to uh create power when the power's in your legs I have to learn all of that as well yeah and boxing that is easy as it look boxing does not look easy so some a lot look I will watch Boxing I'm like I could do that really no I used to and then I get in there and I find out I'm goofy my feet don't do what my feet supposed to do you know and you know it's a rhythm you know so I had to learn all of that so I started I had to get my feet together before I swung a punch so I think that's the importance but I want to learn some Wing Chun it's interesting for blocking and stuff and trapping arms and there's there's a few moves that some guys do in MMA
fights where it is really technically Wing Chun because they'll like block things and trap things and land shots over the top yeah yeah but it's actually learning boxing that's like the the best thing you can learn in terms of like realistic self-defense with your hands like yeah boxing is probably the best thing to learn um I wanted to do I wanted to fight when I was younger my mother never let me fight she never the reason why I'm boxing now is because she never let me I wanted the box I remember I was in the sixth grade and I had a friend named I think his name was Carl and he was a fighter he was a fighter uh in his in sixth grade and I was like Mom I want to fight she's like no but I'm happy she said no because I remember me and Tony Hinchcliffe was watching a fight I remember we was it was like I think it was right before covid actually and I forgot her name Joanna I think you wanna young check yeah the UFC fighter with the giant hole those swollen head yeah man when I saw that I think I called my mom and I was like you was right it was right as I was growing up to not let me fight that looked crucial yeah that one was pretty pretty rare though that usually does not happen that's happened it happened once in a boxing match haseem Rockman yeah um I'm not sure who he fought he did that to somebody no no his head go to Hashim Rahman um uh hematoma yeah look at that yeah what fight was that in who was he fighting where'd that happen Holyfield that's why that's right really yeah something happened and sometimes it happens off a headbutt like sometimes dudes accidentally Collide heads and then your tissue rips and then the inside of your head fills up with blood no oh so it was a punch that did it yeah so it looks like it might have been like a little swollen already and then he lands like a perfect punch if I remember this fight it was like a crazy brawl yeah see like it looked like it was already a little swollen like maybe uh they had collided heads or maybe another punch had done it yeah that's super super rare I'm gonna guess he lost this fight yeah he lost that fight yeah good fighter though yeah that's uh yeah
that thing on your your wanna that was crazy that was just like it turned her into like a character yeah yeah she looked at it immediately I thought elephant man yeah yeah that was I was like man did I I never even really uh you see her head crazy that's a totally different person right looks like it but I'm pretty sure she's better I haven't seen her fight since then did you see Madonna on stage last night I didn't I didn't I did I was on a plane last night while the Grammys were on people are complaining about plastic surgery but they're saying she looked like she had plastic surgery that's why I asked I haven't seen it have you seen her I did not see that you know what I did see though that's hilarious someone is doing this scene where they played the devil and uh they're dancing around they have like fire behind them and all these devils and then when this when it ends it says brought to you by Pfizer stop it why why because Pfizer was advertising the Grammys why I don't think it's fake is it I think it's a child check but that sounds like it's fake here let me send it to you it's too easy to make it's too easy to make you're right it is too easy to make I want to believe it's real a lot of people well hold on New York Post reporting the Grammys featured Sam Smith's demonic performance and was sponsored by Pfizer it really is true yo that's random so this is that is hilarious but this is Marjorie Taylor green so she could have got a Hoodwinked we've been hoodwinked before so look at this this it's all the devil and that seems pretty legit does I have to check the broadcast okay so the grant this is what Marjorie Taylor green says the scroll back the Grammys featured Sam Smith's demonic performance and was sponsored by Pfizer and the satanic church now has an abortion clinic in New Mexico that requires its patients to perform a Satanic ritual before Services American Christians need to get to work oh Jesus Christ [ __ ] I feel like someone is playing 3D chess like some someone in the world economic Forum some [ __ ] billionaire that's running the world's like I know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna get these
people fighting over gender and who should take a [ __ ] in what bathroom and the satanists are running the pizza place I'm gonna get these people fighting over this while I institute some sort of a a gigantic Global uh social credit score system and control all the money I don't I don't that's just that's a straight random and surprising as [ __ ] to me that that yes well the the brought to you by Pfizer is hilarious the fact that someone thought that was a good idea is hilarious like they had to know they had to know that that guy was going to pretend to be the devil they had to know that all the the the Christians like her are gonna go Lynn the satanic abortion clinics I love when like Sam Smith and uh what's the other guy uh the the black dude uh [ __ ] I hate when I have these uh brain [ __ ] uh he at the he had the Uptown road yeah yeah yeah oh my God I love when they [ __ ] with people doing the devil [ __ ] like did he have like the devil's blood or some [ __ ] no she was giving the devil a lap dance he gave the devil a lap dance yeah yeah but the shoes aren't really devil's blood but he really did give the devil a lap dance in his music video that's when they went crazy it pisses him back off so bad it's like don't you see he's doing this [ __ ] to like [ __ ] with you yeah yeah absolutely they have guts though I don't I don't want to fight against America I I just want to sit on my ranch with my three rocks look at this right Wingers melt down over satanic Pfizer sponsored Grammys Jesus Christ of course they did but this is what I'm saying it's like I almost feel like this is too on the nose I almost feel like we're all being played like we're being played against each other while these people are like just finding ways to control us and control all the money I feel like this is all fake like I know it's real I know that was a real song and I know that's a real commercial afterwards but it just seems so stupid it seems so stupid it's almost like if AI is real already if artificial intelligence is real already it's manipulating us that's how it
manipulates us get it just get us to fight over the dumbest [ __ ] well we're seeing that didn't they create these people that look like real people that are real people yeah yeah well they're doing it with images already we brought up some of them the other day where there was like a few errors in some of the images where you could see like that arms were in the wrong place like the wrong kind of like people's arms were like detached from their body and [ __ ] but that's that they'll fix that they'll fix all those things and then it'll be video it'll be a person that's indistinguishable from a real person it'll be on video talking to you calling you up hey Punky um you know we're gonna do this and that and just love to see you again you'd be like wow this is weird I have these feelings like this is a real person this isn't even a real person now if I see one of the [ __ ] in person that's a big problem they're probably going to be in person I know that I I it's a matter of time see this is why I like to stay my ass inside am I in my business I have my little drink in my two-step I watched my little Gray's Anatomy on my Walking Dead and I'll be with my [ __ ] die I I ain't got time I go to work I go home I don't be outside I think we're the last we're the last of the real people I just can't it's like one or two more generations of us and then people are robots I just I don't want to be around none of that [ __ ] I just want to stay inside yeah but you're gonna I I I'm gonna be around it I probably ain't gonna have no damn choice there's gonna be robots knocked on your door trying to sell your insurance and you're gonna be going I don't [ __ ] believe this and if you don't buy it they're gonna put a gun out a weapon out on you no because you could you can insult the robot it doesn't hurt their feelings you think to one day when the robots Revolt robots holding you down remember that time you're talking [ __ ] I was trying to sell insurance you're like oh no get these mini robocops running around yeah yeah yeah I Robot remember when iRobot displayed emotions yeah that's I think that might be the scary part that's a scary part yeah I think you start getting Petty I mean imagine
if robots get Petty you know [ __ ] I might write that yeah why not write that Betty wrote that's the thing you have to do with SNL right you have to constantly be coming up ideas for sketches huh yeah a lot of people don't get how um I think mentally frustrating and not frustrating mentally uh exhausted yeah I get exhausted with SNL light now asked me to write a pilot I'll write you a pilot I'll have fun with it but a sketch is a different world it's a different world it's a different ball game it's not my world it's it's a you know SNL is a very hard job very hard job it's not it's I mean it's hard mentally it's hard physically it's hard it Matt it's it's hard no no now let me tell you something the perks are great I have a whole bunch of fun I'm sure I have fun with those people in there I have to have fun creating relationships I have fun you're also a part of a group that includes Eddie Murphy John Belushi Gilda Radner Dan Aykroyd Phil Hartman that feels good holy [ __ ] I mean that that's a crazy Legacy Chris Rock I walked through that building like it's the palm trees every day yeah every wild every day I'm like what the [ __ ] are you doing wild still in my third how do you write do you write in front of a computer do you write you just sit around and write things down when they come to you what do you do well it's a very fast right the turnover over there as fast so it's like you do the show Saturday Sunday you can rest your mind if you want to but you got to have something cooking and boiling inside of your brain about Sunday night so then Monday we go we pitch we meet the hosts and then we pitch ideas so what's a Sunday for you like sleep sleep sleep sleep no liquor I eat whatever I want and I sleep all day but do you is that when you're like prepping do you get ready for Monday um sometimes it depends if I have the strength I'll call people and say hey you know what you got this week I got this idea let's figure out how to flush
it out tomorrow which is a Monday right so Mondays we go to work uh just to meet the host and kind of just settle in we meet hello how you doing like if it was you hey Lauren to say Joe Rogan everybody we'll all go in his office his office is about this big maybe a little smaller and we all sit on the floor like preschoolers we got our legs crossed and learn to say we're gonna start with you Rosebud Rose by the pitches her idea to you how you doing Joe she'll say something uh you are a man that has a vision of exotic coffee shops so you open up a coffee shop that's full of strippers and you call it tease search or some [ __ ] like just stoop just something stupid it could be a real idea uh it could be something fake I always pitch something stupid look I remember we went to work on black history um day I'm on Martin Luther King Day and my pitch was hey Aubry you are the uh captain of the holiday police department and you come and find Lauren Michaels for having all the black people at work on Martin Luther King Day the office was busting out laughing because I'm going I say what what everybody want to say because I don't give a [ __ ] you know what I'm saying I just be having fun and then after that you leave the pitch and you go you can either stay and talk talk in groups and figure out what you're going to do for Tuesday or you leave I leave or I stay blah blah and then Tuesday you write all day we get to the office two three o'clock we don't leave till two three o'clock and then Wednesdays you gotta wake up at eight go over your sketches with your writers fix it maybe you'll go back to sleep about 10 30 11 sleep for 30 minutes get back up go to work until 11 pm 12 P.M if your sketch get picked you know because you got to produce it so Rob also at this job I'm learning how to produce learning how to direct uh learning how to make fast edits um because you got to pick your set you got to pick the clothes that people are going to wear you got to pick the outfits you got to pick the wigs you gotta if you write the sketch and they get picked you got to do it all of course you have help but you're learning the stuff did you do any
of that before you went to SNL no no theater no nothing I went to an active school called the actus boot camp but that was that that's neither here nor there yeah well I think acting class is probably in some ways a little bit like um comedy class you know I think there's good ones in terms of acting class there's legitimate like real good places where people learn they really do and then there's also like acting lessons that are given by people that weren't really good actors yeah didn't really make it as an actor and now you're teaching it I know a lot of people that'll teach you something because they've done it and they that's the problem with comedy right like the comedy classes they're not being taught by Dave Chappelle right you know they're being taught by someone who's probably not that good at comedy which is why they're teaching classes yeah that's true there's a lot of that but it doesn't get you on stage though that's the benefit of it I um when I did get Destiny a lot of people did go to school they did they went to action school they went to like improv School Second City ground links and all of that because the moment I get to know people over there I'm like oh y'all went to school yeah oh I came from a little place with black walls called The Comedy Store I don't know nothing about this this type of school though you know it's a type of performance school for sure that's what I'm saying so I'm just and and with that then that's me saying to myself what are you doing well think about how young Eddie Murphy was when he was on SNL and all his performance was stand up but look how good he was yeah because he already knew how to perform yeah the hardest thing is you're performing live for Laughs in front of strangers all the time and in your case you're getting up late you were getting up late yeah and you were going on after a bunch of murders this is Anthony jeselnick and Sebastian and all these killers and so by the time you're on stage that show is three hours old yeah you know it was it it was fun it's fun I think like like Don Barris you know he loved that late night spot yeah like whoever is in there he lights it up yeah like yeah I've been
in here for three hours yeah then you meet this person this crazy psychotic human being who comes in a comedy store who's a staple okay and he's like get up here and come spit in my mouth it's like wait a minute what and then he got the band coming up and people it's not a real band yeah he pressed play on this thing and everybody's beating on chairs yeah and they got fake uh uh pianos and and and and it is you are rocking now he's rocking the house at two three in the morning yeah until they say all right that's enough he'll go till four if you let him yeah and it's just lit yeah so that's the beauty of that place you know that that late night spot that was the Kinison spot that's how Kennison became famous yeah Kennison became famous because people would well first of all because he was so talented but and you know he did Letterman and HBO but the thing in Hollywood was that people would know that Kennison was going on after midnight so they would come to the store to see Kennison because he was on last and you know he would go as long as he wants you know the last person goes as long as they want yeah and so that's the Holtzman spot too now and Tennyson would go up and you know you'd have all these rock stars and movie stars go by and see him that's dope and they they came there just to see Kinison that's so that's so inspiring actually oh my God yeah that's all I could think of when I when I first moved there and when I moved there it was right after the wave because comedy comes in these like Wild Waves sometimes in the store certainly always did and I got there in 94 I went there for the first time in 93 and it was like a ghost town it was crazy like I went in the OR and there was like a boat act on stage like someone who just should have stopped a long time ago they were doing they were doing you know jokes from the 1970s it was it was sad and I was like this is The Comedy Store like this is there's no one in there there was like 20 people in the audience and I sat in the back but that was after Kinison like there was a Kennison wave and it ended it ended like in the late 80s when he left he left the comedy store and he got banned from the comic store and then he kind of fell apart and then he died and then when I got there in 93 94 there
wasn't like a lot of people that were like big names that were there all the time yeah I heard when I got there they had like this I think they called it like the Dark Ages or something like where it was just like super dark and it wasn't too busy no it wasn't busy at all for a while in the early 90s but occasionally like Martin Lawrence would come and then it would be flooded yeah occasionally someone big would come and they would go on the main room and it would be monstrous and then then the place would be packed George Carlin was there for a while you know Damon Wayans would just stop in he would never like do other announce sets he would stop in and just because he just wanted to [ __ ] around right right he wanted to go there and [ __ ] around so you know you'd see Elite comedy but it wasn't it wasn't like it was in the 80s or something and then it became that again like slowly over time it built up and right and then there was that New Era that was in like the the 2000s like 2014 on that was like [ __ ] every night it was sold out Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday it shows three shows constantly packed house yeah moving in and out and you'd see Chris Rock and Dave Chappelle yeah Louis CK and [ __ ] Tim Dillon holy [ __ ] there's so many Comics here it was wild but yeah my first night were actually working now I wasn't supposed to work I was actually there for orientation and it it was so stacked it was like yo you mind just kind of Expediting a little bit I'm like how I don't know where the table's at I don't know what I'm doing they say here that's how grimy like kind of still just crazy like here go a map um oh you want me to walk in the dark and look at a [ __ ] map while I got a trail of drinks great wow but that that's how it is in life too you just gotta jump your ass in that water and swim if I'm not mistaken it was freaking uh was it Louis CK that night yeah I don't I don't remember it could have been him and it was just stacked and it was like we need the help we need the extra hands y'all just go I wasn't I was working in blue jeans Jesus and they just threw me a comedy story shirt and it just went from there but after that it was dead for like two years yeah well that was just you know it would be like that if someone big
would come if someone big would come then it would build up again right you know and it'll happen again it always happens it rises and it's just it's a just an iconic place it's always when I was a kid when I was in 1988 when I first did stand up I was at stitches in Boston and I remember thinking about The Comedy Store like that's Mecca that was Mecca like I had to get there I had to get there yeah like that was my goal always was to get to The Comedy Store I didn't even know why I didn't even know how it was like that this thought like I was terrible yeah I was an open Miker and I was like The Comedy Store that's where Richard Pryor used to work out that's where Sam Kennison used to work out you know and I was like I gotta get there and I remember getting there and being like this is The Comedy Store like this is it yeah it was surprising yeah but then I saw a really good comment I kept going back and then I saw Dom Herrera there and I saw all these other people that I got there earlier in the day and I realized like if if you get there like nine o'clock it's more packed you know I was showing up at like 11 11 30. you know after I'd gotten off of work on a sitcom oh I was about to say where were you working I was doing a sitcom called Hardball that's what I came over to do and the pilot was me and Jim Brewer and uh and a bunch of other people um that were in like mostly actors and it was on Fox and uh it didn't it didn't go it went like six episodes but I already moved here and I already got an apartment so I stayed okay but but the big thing to me was becoming a paid regular at the comedy store which I think happened after the show got canceled I think I was there for quite a few months I was a non-paid regular yeah so I had to go on at the end of the show like after everyone was already done then I could go up how was your relationship with Mitzi oh it was amazing yeah I couldn't believe I was talking to her you know because me it was like that was the Godmother like this I could be in her her presence and she'd give me advice that she would tell me she thought it was funny she'd tell me oh that was hilarious like I just I couldn't believe it you know like when she told me that
it was a paid record it was like the happiest day of my life yeah okay I couldn't I couldn't believe it how was the process with with you because when I became a pay regular I had to Showcase did you have to Showcase or did she just watch you for a period of time and then come to you and tell you um I showcased I I did my first set and she said I could be a non-paid regular and so I did that for like I said a few months and then I get to Showcase again to be a paid regular and I had a great set and one of the reasons why I had a great set was there's this guy named the Todd that's what he'd call himself the Todd and he was friends with Paulie Shore and he used to be he was on I saw him on MTV before I even did comedy I saw him on the MTV half hour comedy hour maybe it was like an open micro when I saw him I can't remember but I remember seeing that guy on TV and then being around him at the store and he was a really nice guy and one of the things that he said he said I sat next to Mitzi when he went on stage and I laughed really hard at all your jokes because you're really funny and I I you know I really want you to be paid regular but you're going to do that for other people someday too yeah he said that to me all the help all the help helps but that's a real help like if you could sit next to Mitzi like if she knew like if you're a legit comic and she knew that you respected the person on stage and that you wanted to see their set and that you laughed Mitzi you were without telling Mitzi anything you would co-sign yeah you were co-signing so he co-signed for me and I've never forgotten then he got like really sick like something happened he had like a real brain problem oh no yeah like real bad where I don't know if even even though if he's still alive but uh he uh he came back to the store and there was something like really wrong with him unfortunately some some sort of health issue with his brain that's crazy it was sad but but I learned from him and then that was like an interesting moment for me because I was like oh that totally makes sense like and that's what you should do that's the dude that's him that's the Todd yeah he was on the MTV half hour yeah I was about to say he looks very very familiar yeah he was in the 80s you know he was a a guy that was like you
know one of the guys you would see on TV and he had a unique name and you know it was a good comic he's a funny guy but it was but that was what was big it was how he helped me I like that yeah I like the help because you know like you said earlier some people don't want to see your eyes well some people they just think there's they have a famine mentality they think that there's only so much success and so much love and so much positivity out there and they want to all for themselves you know Acro I came at a Crossroads like they were there were times when I had to hold myself accountable for being like that be mad at others for having more to me and and one day I just sat down I'm just like yo yo like that ain't your lane yeah that's not your plan that's not your journey so I had to like really pull myself out of that and be like yo you know yo yo your life is different from everybody else's life and your journey is different yeah you know so once I got out of that that stupid mentality like things really start and I put all that energy into like really focusing on myself and my work like things really shifted in my life when I stopped worrying about what other people were doing and what they had good for you good for you what do you remember what it what happened to you or why you made that switch well I remember just saying to myself one day it's a talented [ __ ] why is you mad um yeah and I would say to myself oh I don't know if if the only reason why you upset is because it ain't you that's that's a problem but it's common for me it was a problem yeah I used to feel like that when I was younger and I recognized it myself and I was like oh this is a weakness it's a terrible weakness yeah yeah and it's also it's it actually [ __ ] you over it doesn't do a thing for that person who's killing it it doesn't hurt them at all and people think it does and that's why they engage in it because they think they're gonna like diminish them around other than other people they're going to talk [ __ ] about them around other people I've had to have conversations with my friends
about that I'm like hey man that guy is a talented [ __ ] and you're being a [ __ ] yeah like don't do that I know the Instinct you feel like you deserve more and you haven't gotten yours but you're not on that guy's path no he's on a different path it's normal it's a normal it's just like we have to recognize what it is it's as normal as sneezing it's as normal it's like a normal part of being a human a lot of therapy and meditation my friend also just recognize what it is and don't don't commit to it because you don't want to have been wrong or you do you want to like defend yourself don't don't defend that don't defend that just let it go let it go don't be married to the ideas you have and if you have this jealous idea in your head don't be married to that don't keep that don't keep it I know I know it's normal it's Instinct I used to have it all the time it's a big it's a big part of being a person you see someone if you especially in the beginning because you're you're just trying to make it so you're so ambitious right you can't wait to go on stage and you see someone on stage bombing you're like happy they bomb that's another thing I had to stop doing yeah when I like when I was coming up at the store and we would and before I was a paid regular if I would do the friends and family portion I would be happy that I was going after someone who I knew weren't as good as me yeah and then my life started to change again when I started saying no [ __ ] that I want the person in front of me to be dope as [ __ ] yeah so like even like at SNL in the pitch meeting I go after this guy who always liked the room up with a pitch and I went up to him and I'm like bro you make me better because I know I gotta come I if I go after you and that meeting I know I gotta come hard so you are you are fueling me to keep the energy of the room when you go and then I have to go after you because I don't want to bring it down so he's making me work harder but not in like this like I'm not envious of him right he's helping me and I like his help Yeah by him just being himself yeah yeah that's the way to think about it so once I once I change that mentality of I want the best person in the room to be before me
that's when I started getting better as well yeah you know what I'm saying so I'ma put it like this that's when I started being more prepared as well that's when I my preparation changed to going on stages too I'm just like all right bet I need to be a little bit more organized on stage I need to know when my jokes is coming I need to make sure I keep it nice and tight because I want to keep the energy in the room yeah it also it makes you rise up to that person's RPMs that's why the comedy store was so good you you would be working with all these killers and you had to you couldn't be lazy no one thing that comedians like to do is they like to bring someone on the road with them that's soft so that person just sort of like goes up and does like a passable job and then they go up and clean up like a hero yeah but my thought was like hey that's not helping me at all and B that's not good for the audience so I would just bring the most murderous ruthless Comics that I could find I started working with Joey because I couldn't follow him I brought Joey on the road with me because I had trouble following him once in New Jersey I'm like I'm bringing Joey everywhere yeah Joey when he came into his own there was a time in like the ER the late 90s where Joey came into his own where he just really figured it out where he was Unstoppable he was Unstoppable because he had decided that Hollywood was never going to give him any love and so he was just it just all he wanted was the respect of the comics and to kill and he was just always on fire always on fire and you would go on after him it's like how are you going to compete with that how are you going to ride that wave and so taking him on the road with me like made me sharper yeah because I'm like this guy's just destroyed and then by the way after a while people knew who he was so in the beginning people didn't know him they were like what the [ __ ] is this and then they would see him go on stage and they would get excited they're like oh [ __ ] that's Joey Diaz yeah you know or was Joey Diaz from the JRE or Joey Diaz from the church of what's happening now and then then it became you know now he's an icon and and he's a good man he's a great man he's a man Joey yeah that's my I love me some jelly
yeah he's a he's a wild dude he's a wild dude and he was like in a lot of ways like his irreverence his like his his ability to just like cut loose on stage showed all of us you know like show like he would get so crazy sometimes I I've seen moments on stage where Joey murdered so hard like no there was no air in the room no one could breathe everyone was just slapping tables he was just so ridiculous and unfortunately those were never captured you know that's like the things like people still have never seen Joey the way we've seen Joey yeah I don't yeah yeah Joe would be up there killing himself laughing oh my God but he he his delivery is so point on and so straightforward he don't hold nothing economy of words it kind of means he's got the best economy Awards yeah those punch lines sneak up on you so fast I would agree and the rapid fire bang bang bang he'll touch that microphone yeah and God help you if you see him in front of a Cuban audience because then he starts throwing in some Spanish and some Cuban flavored uh Spanish in with his jokes and oh my God I've seen him at the Miami Improv Back in the Day murder to the point where the headliner quit the headliner went home Joey was middling and the headliner said I quit all right I quit I'm leaving got on a [ __ ] plane that is not I'm not doing this to myself like Joey stay up on stage now man first show Friday they're like check please not a chance and this guy's with me all weekend [ __ ] you because people when you go on the road for a week so you like you show up at Tampa you expect you're gonna get some local Tampa comedian you know some soft touch is going to be up there not no disrespect to local Tampa comedians but you know it's not like the strongest comedy right right so the odds are if someone's working for you as an opener in Tampa they're gonna you know be passable they're okay so you should I'm a [ __ ] headliner I got TV credits on the evening at The Improv let me get in there I got my my [ __ ] closer bit and it's gonna kill him Joey Diaz on stage and literally tables are falling over people are laughing so hard they're pushing tables over there like falling onto the ground like I can't believe this guy who was the headliner that got out of
that I can't really tell you I'll tell you later man look if look I'll tell you I probably still would have went up there and took my little mom but I would have been pissed those Cuban kids were mean man you didn't bomb good there it was a different kind of bomb and it was a difference it was a wild Club the guy who ran the club was a partier there was a lot of partying going on if you know what I mean a lot of that Bolivian marching power there's a lot of [ __ ] happening it was a wild time but it was uh it was also like there's there was some spots that you would go to you're like that club's crazy and that was one of them you know I loved it yeah I never know that until we out here man Joey Joey was like the the murderer nobody wanted to take Joey as a middle action get the [ __ ] out of here like that would be death I mean I haven't seen him in three years I haven't seen so many people in three years I'm just I'm happy I'm happy to be here because I know a lot of my people out here too yeah so well that's why I'm happy to doing kill Tony tonight yeah my baby you got to see that man Tony's been my guy ah man I love that man I love that man he he's another person that like uh took me on the road I just go telling everybody like let me open he'll be like okay yeah no Tony's a man he's the man he's the best host on planet Earth like the way he handles kill Tony how quick he is off the cuff that show's amazing I love how quick he is I remember seeing him at the comedy store before he was you know killed Tony and if I'm not mistaken he was working at the time and he I remember just seeing him and you know the room between the service bar and the back bar that little space with the mirror yes um he was back there one time he had a drink and he was just kind of just in his head and I was I had a trade and I looked at him I said yo okay what's wrong he was like they're playing with me kid they're going to turn me into a monster he's like he thinks he's in the WWE he's still out of his [ __ ] mind he thinks Vince McMahon's waiting there with a camera he's so out of his [ __ ] mind
they're gonna turn me into a Munch his goofy ass and no doubt yeah he started off in a belly room moved it into the main room now he out here in Austin that that show's Unstoppable it shows it's such a good idea to have Comics go up and do one minute and then you have um regulars like William Montgomery Hans Kim David Lucas they all do a minute every week a new minute every week every week so David will write a new minute every week and so many times like David is very prolific and so many times David will take that bit and then he'll be doing it like when he works with me all the time so David and I are doing shows like most Tuesdays and Wednesdays and so he'll take these bits from one minute and now all of a sudden he's got a whole new giant one minute chunk yeah and that's a part of his regular act now because of this one minute a week thing it's it's an incredible resource for like up and coming Comedians and Hans Kim is doing that too yeah every week you got to be on point it's like SNL in a lot of ways we have to create every week every week and there's only three of them yeah you know I I can't wait to do kill Tony tonight because I'm gonna say roast me I just want to be wrote I just love when David rolls my ass David's the best David and Tony when those two are roasting each other it's the hardest I laugh in life the hardest I laugh in life the last time I did I couldn't breathe I was like literally like wheezing while these two were going back and forth proud of him he just sold out a theater his first theater David yes that that is um David's killing it that's that's amazing he works hard he works hard he's always doing stand up he's always out there that's good yeah and we'll do two three shows a week together out here oh that's perfect that's perfect and Hans Kim's doing the same thing and Brian Simpson's out here killing him oh my baby's here now Christina pazinski's here yeah my friends I got a text right Duncan's here now my homegirls just hit me up about Segura why is he has he always been this fine I'm like oh it's good now he looks good Tommy's a handsome man under all that blubber they like when when he when he started looking like this I'm like this ain't my conversation guys well you
know what happened him and Bert had this uh weight loss challenge and this was like how many years ago was that five years ago I just saw something about it did they do something recently I think it's six years ago six years ago okay so that's the start but this was started so him and Bert this is what yeah him with Jason Momoa look at that look how good he looks look how thin he looks look how [ __ ] thin Segura looks wow there's a picture of him uh go back to his Instagram of him sitting down eating ice cream and I looked at it and I was like look at that look how fitty looks look at his arms damn wonderful look at that look at his legs like everything like he's fit now he's like he works out twice a day every day he does weights and he does cardio he has a trainer that he brings with him on the road and he's constantly working out he is a sled that he pulls in his driveway and I'm watching all the [ __ ] I'm like this is insane that's why that's the level I'm trying to get to you can do that well I'm trying to get to where I can afford to bring my trainer with me everywhere I go start off with someone to hold mitts for you oh see I got my I got a boxing trainer that's why I moved out to Jersey take that person with him I moved out to Jersey got my boy Baron with me and uh he teach me everything he he also like look don't be out here getting in fights because you could really swing now yeah don't don't hurt anybody especially now you have money he's like back he's like just always walk away because I don't I didn't realize I do have a lot of power sometimes I do this to somebody just because I'm like you're so stupid and I'll be I pushed the [ __ ] out of them and I'll be like my bad I didn't mean to do that you don't realize your power but if I I want to get to the level of having enough money to take my trainer ever you work for me and only me with me forever forever 365 days but if they want to quit you kill them yeah hell yeah laughs but that's my boy man I I've never gone that far where I took a trainer with me on the road I don't I don't bring a trainer with me well I mean if I go out on the road Friday said to come back home didn't know but if I'm like if life is constantly on the road week by week
for me I'm gonna need them I the problem with that is like it's great for sure but I need uh alone time and that's my alone time when I work out I like to put really hair air pods on so listening to music and I just get cranking and I just get in my own head that's what I like to do I don't want anybody telling me what we're doing next I know what to do I write it out well that's my problem if I knew how to work if I knew how to work out yeah it's but there's a great benefit to having a trainer no doubt but for me it's like what I get out of it personally um I've definitely worked with trainers before and I love like what I've learned from them but I I like that time was just me struggling in my own head that's to me like that's the start of every day every day I do something and when I do it I set it out I write it out and my Doom I figured out my head and then I just go and that way I'm just in my own head you get to talk to anybody I don't look at my phone I'm like I dig that I dig that do you get into a lot of uh CrossFit I do those same kind of movements I do a lot of kettlebell stuff and I do a lot of um body weight stuff so I do a lot of similar things because you you stay strong you know what I'm saying so I don't think you don't do a lot of cardio do you I do cardio really yeah yeah I do uh aired on bike you know what that is and I do rounds in the back but the airdyne bike is a um it's a you you like do your arms and your legs at the same time oh yes yes yes okay yes I have this Rogue Echo Bike it's brutal it's brutal and so I do sprints on this thing so you do 20 second Sprints with 10 second rests and I do that for eight reps and I do that for 10 repetitions so I do uh 10 rounds of 20 second Sprint 10 second rest 20 seconds rent do that eight times get my heart rate down below 100 and then do it again and then get my heart rate back do that ten times ten times in a row yeah oh wow yeah so that's my cardio I do that at least once a week and then I and then I do yeah I don't do that a lot and then I do rounds in the bag and I do other stuff for cardio I pull sled that bag is some suit that that bag will do some serious damage sure you'll shred very fast in here with that bag and like uh my my arms get like let's say I've just
you know sometimes if I get depressed I just stop everything right so let's say I stop for like two months if I get back in the gym and get back get on that bag I shred so fast and so hard within three weeks I'm like 10 12 pounds down yeah off the bag it's a lot of calories you're burning too if you wear a chest trap one of those straps it measures the amount of calories you burn you burn a shitload of calories in the bag yeah I mean it's so Dynamic there's so much movement so your heart rate is jacked yeah I'll go I'll go my my trainer's like look if you ever go to a boxing gym without me you have to go to Every bag you do three rounds on every bag so uh I so I one thing that is one thing I know how to do I don't know how to work out but I know how to use every bag in the gym that's perfect that's all you really need you want to get in shape yeah also they have these um round timers that'll let you do like the same kind of thick thing like Sprints and then rest periods so it'll be like um I think title Title Boxing had one ringside ringside had one and uh you had like a green green light and a yellow light and then a red light and the red light was in between rounds then you would rest and the green light was Sprint so the green light boom just beat the [ __ ] out of the bag and then the yellow light would come on and then you would just sort of tap it and move around okay and you were just trying to catch your catch your breath back up and then the green light would come back on you so it would give you like structure like like during that green time you sprint during the yellow time you lay back oh yeah it'll so basically that'll be like each light be a minute I'm guessing right I don't know how they do it I don't know how it does it I want to say it's 30 seconds I think actually no I think what it is is adjustable I think you could set the round I think the round thing would go to as much as five minutes and you could choose the intervals okay yeah yeah I'm really getting deep into this uh like I don't know if my trainer would be gassing me up man I think he'd be gassing me I don't know but he's like yo he's like you you could go out and fight like I think I'm gonna get you somebody to spar with I'm like I don't know if I'm ready for that he's like yo you ready
you know I don't have heavy bags right next door you can show me yeah he want me to he want me to fight show me what you got you know hey hey I'll hit that bag you know we got that I love is a water bag it's like a big ball filled with water have you ever hit one of those I I don't know it's nice uh the only thing I've done with water is uh I don't know what you call it but they got handles on it oh yeah I'll just do like these little lunges stuff yeah because the water's moving you have to kind of adjust to the movement of the water yeah those are great yes I like stuff like that like clubs you ever use those uh metal clubs steel clubs you pick them up they're called Club Bells it's like a long po it almost looks like a weapon and you're like swinging them above your head and it's all about like controlling this awkward weight oh no or like a mace you ever use a mace same thing no I usually just do that with the heavy but with the heavy ball oh the medicine ball yeah that's good too that's good too you could do a bunch of [ __ ] like that with a medicine ball but the the thing about um clubs and maces is that it's awkward so there's this long metal piece with a mace and then the end of it is the weight so you're holding onto this thing [Music] that's all the leverage and you're swinging it around it's really good for your shoulders and your core and it works your leg where's your whole body yeah they're working out is serious serious pumpkin oh yeah it's also good for the Dome that's the most important part yeah yeah I do feel a lot more um like whenever I work out before I do anything my brain is ahead of me yes yeah it's fired up yeah yeah it doesn't it doesn't stop and and my girlfriend she's she's a little thick one right too bigger than me and one time I don't know what happened like she can't sit on top of me on the sofa and I stood up I like walked up to the kitchen and she was like what the [ __ ] she touched she said I gotta call money that's my I call my trainer she's like I gotta call him right away they get on the phone she was like man this [ __ ] is strong she's like you got my baby picking me up [Laughter]
that's hilarious I didn't know I was that strong either but that's hilarious you know because because you know I I got to do a lot of leg work you know like you know all your straight come from the below so I do a whole bunch of squats I do 100 push-ups a day every day straight up yeah I start off I got to how many do in a row um I could do 40 in a row wow I could do 40 push-ups that's impressive I'm working up to doing 100 in a row that this guy did this play one time maybe 15 years ago and this guy was like all right time for me to get my push-ups in he did like 300 push-ups in a row in a row like in a row what's the world record for the amount of push-ups someone's ever done in a row I would like to know that because I would imagine a pretty close to the world record like how many push-ups can someone do before their arms fall apart I think it's like 500 I guess it also would depend on how heavy the person is too yeah you know like if you're a heavy person that's a big you know if you're Bert Kreischer are you watching this they got this show on Netflix right now it's called like the top hundred or something like that and it's just like all these guys and girls ladies and men from uh uh from Asia they're all Asian and it's like it's oh God what is it called but they go into this room and it's like whoever's stronger and whoever's and the men that compete against the women as well they had this one competition where a guy was competing against a woman and he had his knee on her chest and everybody was like come on man come on and he's looking at them in what way I got to do it I got a man what's the most record push-ups I'm trying to find the real truth it said it's ten thousand what yes in a row yeah but breaking the record of seven thousand six hundred and fifty but both sound fake what there's a video that says why that's probably fake so I was trying to find another number while you were saying something then you know wrote the show that I was trying to then get an answer for so how much yes physical 100 man this show got me on it now it got its slow Parts because it got to do a lot of introductions and a lot of like things is that is that akiyama it's in Korea for sure that
might be akiyama yo the guy with the the big head in the background yo it's a lot of like people it's a lot of famous uh Asian Fighters but yeah that's what I'm thinking uh well akiyama they call him sexy Yama yeah yoshihiro akiyama he's a world famous MMA fighter that fought in Pride they call him sexy Yama because he's like super tan and super jacked yeah pull up a video of uh akiyama fighting okay here it is this is this uh physical 100 survival process that will take place in here uh squid games broadcast globally squid games and it's stuff like with the mind as well so it's like you don't have to be the strongest or the fastest you just gotta be strategic oh look at this like Whoever has the ball at the end of three minutes is the champion oh interesting [Applause] interesting oh wow so they're duking it out for this [ __ ] ball yeah that's a good idea yeah that's and that's just one challenge so the last challenge the sand so that's the last one the new episode come on tomorrow no [ __ ] yeah that's a good idea someone's gonna get [ __ ] up though they're duking it out on you oh yeah wooden Battleship that seems like a recipe for a brother but the thing is now that that is going to be a team thing so everybody is thinking okay we have to have all strong people but some of these are gonna have to have some light people so they can get like cross across Bridges and stuff and just like sure and it is the way they oh man it's just so good it's gonna dude in the front picture go back to that picture look how jacked that dude is Jesus Christ and sometimes the biggest and the strongest lose because they're not as uh they didn't they didn't have a game plan going into the the event well also they probably don't have to be as crafty right because they're big and strong they think they're just going to get away with that and then they find out oh no this is like some [ __ ] where I have to hang by my hands longer than the other person that's crazy you say that because that was the first challenge oh see we figured that on a Fear Factor on Fear Factor girls can hang longer than guys
can we have these Jack dudes and they had to hang off of this bar over a bridge and the Jack dudes all fell before the women because women don't weigh as much no no and it was it was it's crazy how they've like just got comfortable some of them just got comfortable up there just like hole in the bar like this oh my God damn these people are flexible but it was they got gymnasts up there that's that's like still in the game and still winning and stuff is it's deep see if you can find a video of akiyama fighting this this dude was a pride Legend what's the funniest he's a judo Champion you ever did in uh the UFC yeah like the funniest the funny Derek Lewis for sure you took his pants off and I go Derek why'd you take your pants off he goes my balls was hot and I go I understand sir he just took a short top in the middle of the Ring after he won and I'm like why'd you take your pants off this goes my balls was hot so this is uh akiyama was uh he was a judo champion and um he also this is him with the ghee on he's the fight with the game but he fought with no gee and look how jacked he was oh wow he's an evil fighter man he was badass akiyama was legit he was seriously legit he'd be Melvin manhof I believe beat him by submission but he was super legit with Judo oh okay so this look at this bam son tap and I mean and Melvin manhole the guy who he just beat was one of the greatest Strikers that ever fought in MMA one of the scariest [ __ ] that guy Melvin manhoff was a destroyer so when uh sexiyama submitted him that was a big deal really yeah yeah so the sexy Yama guy that's the that's the host that's the old man that you just that's the guy in the background when you see his face yes the picture okay the big head and the other people in front of him yeah it's akiyama okay yeah so he must be the host of it or something right no he put he's competing competing oh really yeah Jesus Christ there's no host the host is just a voice he was on he was in Pride Fighting in the early 2000s what yeah like what year did akiyama fight in Pride if I want to guess like 2006 somewhere around there when did he fight did it say when he fought in Pride because Pride when it was a big thing 2001 2002 yeah like the when the UFC
purchased Pride I think in like 2000 what was that six or seven or something like that one Championship well wait well he fought in one Championship recently that was pretty recently which is crazy so 20 years so 20 years after he first started competing so 2009 the UFC bought uh and brought in akiyama Wild wild so now he's hosting that show he's got to be 50 years old how old is that guy uh yeah he's he's got to be deep into his 40. well you could tell because everybody have a massive amount of respect for him on a show when he speak of him yeah and uh his uh his his first one-on-one battle so it's a hundred of them and then the first battle half of them were eliminated and that was the ball so now another half is about to be eliminated by tomorrow um with uh the saying now the sand is very strategic because you got to feel the the uh this bag of sand walk across the bridge and empty it into a tube and whoever had the most in 12 minutes is going to win is this all the people that are on it too there you go um How old is akiyama does it say 47 47. damn he looked good too still fighting he fought in one Championship I want to say like within the last three years he looked good yeah and you know what else uh to say like that he have all of that background of just uh you know just being Exquisite at what he does he's very humble like when he speaks he's like like he like you know because they do like interviews and stuff and he's just sitting up there like I don't know man and it's an English voiceover right oh that's not good what is so good one of them just have the subtitles honestly because the name of this voiceovers are so weird because it right you want to hear the guy's voice right right right right um and he's like I don't know man maybe I made the wrong choice like he's so humble when the way he goes into his competitions he's never like I'm gonna win this you know in the early Bruce Lee movies they had someone do his voice oh really if you watch the early Bruce Lee movie someone is talking like this
oh yeah yeah someone's talking over him hey guys we have to go down there and fix this problem right now yeah because every time I watch the Ip Man movies I rather them leave it leave just his Chinese accent yeah then have the American guy oh yeah for sure I'll speak over it I hate it no you want subtitles because you want to hear the the inflection in their voice when someone is talking over them like this that seems crazy especially if it's like a dramatic scene I can't stay with it yeah is this uh I I think this is real I can't tell [ __ ] are you on here that's different ones I'm just gonna leave it alone Bruce Lee what was that that we just saw that they have to I in person like to know if they're real or fake they're only they're mostly fake I'm re-uploading them yeah just don't say Bruce Lee voiceover uh right Bruce Lee had his voice dubbed in early movies too many people would want to put dubbed early movies maybe but I think the early movies um there's like some pretty obvious examples just this is going to take too long now oh Jamie I was trying to do it fast I I understand that we're gonna get lost yeah see okay there's a lot of okay there's a lot of different voice over dubs that he does I get it but it was just that was the thing with Kung Fu movies right and in Godzilla too you go watch early Godzilla yeah it was all dubbed over hey Godzilla's coming this is a real problem guys yeah I hate that just let me just just give me the real people and let me read the [ __ ] there's a new show that's on Netflix right now here is this voice dubbed here yeah that's bolo young that's not even enough good morning Mr ropa we have been waiting for you 1973 Enter the Dragon by this time he might have been talking in his own voice I believe it was but I don't think Bruce is going to do much talking he's just gonna [ __ ] this dude up I love what noises yeah I remember hearing those noises going what is this by the way no one can do that now if you think about karate movies people just do karate nobody goes there's no swag in fashion man he was
smooth oh he was so smooth I loved him yeah and he was an Asian superhero yeah you know which was you know they didn't they didn't ever see that coming this dude out of nowhere throwing Karate kicks and and doing Jiu Jitsu and Judo and mixing them all together nobody saw that coming that guy changed martial arts before the UFC came along that was the first guy that combined things he was the one who I kind of opened the door for the UFC in a while if I'm not mistaken he also did Wing Chun he did yeah he did yeah yeah that's why I wanna I have to learn it I got to figure out when and how but I got to get there yeah he he he trained under Yip Man yeah yeah he trained under him if I and also again if I'm not mistaken it I think it was created by a woman Wing Chung was yeah I think you're right yeah yeah but I don't think they know how the [ __ ] could they know how they never figured that out it's just I just want I just want to learn how to be lighter on my feet okay well you should do Plyometrics do footwork tricks yeah yeah all right I'll look into that too there's a ton of guys on Instagram that are boxing coaches that set up those uh footwork ladders you ever see those footwork ladders yeah and you know you go in and out with with the feet and and do Plyometrics where you jump like ski moves side to side side to side that's how to get light on your feet yeah and then learning how to use it when I'm on a road and I don't have my trainer I'll I'll plug in Shawn T I got I got his yearly I'm a I'm uh I got his yearly uh uh Beachbody program [Laughter] and I just crank up insanity or uh and and that he does have a plyometric workout on there too that uses the latter that's good yeah but I never do that one that's a good one you know what else is really good Skip and rope people don't okay rope jumping rope is fantastic it's like one of the best things for your footwork the reason why boxers do it because you got to think about all that time you're just bouncing on your toes a lot of times you're boxing you're flat-footed yeah or you're moving but you're not moving constantly over and over and over again but if you have the ability to do that so if you're skipping rope and you skip rope for 10 minutes
and you're moving your feet back and forth that's 10 minutes that you you're forcing yourself to bounce up and down on your calves and on the ball of your feet oh because you have to jump over that rope right so when you're doing that you're energizing those muscles strengthening those muscles and then conditioning your body to be able to move like that I need to jump rope see my problem Joe I like to jump who does I hate it I have that that's that's the thing like I need to start doing the things that I don't want to do yeah especially when it comes down to working out so I do not jump rope in boxing and I know that that's the key that's a big factor and I have to get over myself jumping rope's a good one it's a big one Shadow Boxing is another one Shadow Boxing with purpose like Shadow Boxing moving pretending a punch is coming your way getting out of the way of it Landing your own shots pivoting away like that like picturing someone in front of you yeah that's the creativity too like you have to have imagination for that I got two pound weights in my office at uh SNL and and we get to have friends come on Saturdays and my friend came he saw the weights he said man what you doing with this [ __ ] two pounds in my your business ah you punk you full of [ __ ] you ain't doing nothing I'm like I shadow box if you if you ought to know yeah with the two pounds just I'll I'll do like if I'm in my office I'll put on a movie or something until it's my time to go down the set and I'll just sit sit in my office and I'll shadow box for I would do around I'll sit I'll chill I'll do another round I'll sit I'll chill sometimes I'll do four five rounds before I go downstairs good for you and it gets your brain fired up right yeah yeah yeah and I also have to be like sorry if I stink off I'm sweaty yeah I've been upstairs moving around but those endorphins get flowing if there was a pill that could make you feel like you feel after you work out everybody would take it yeah no side effects it is there's a pill it's called working out it's just not a pill it's it's but it gives you the effect of the the perfect mixture of like a relieving of anxiety the strengthening of all their your
connections you feel yourself more and if you got to be like physical like I love a good workout before a set because you know you work out and then you kind of like blow the anxiety out of your system you feel loose you just feel good when you get up there I would do I would do 50 push-ups like right before my set a couple jumping jacks before my set just kind of just yeah get the blood flowing yeah yeah Joey Diaz would yell at us that's what he would do I had to teach people that Joey's not really mad at you he's just getting fired up for going on stage like heard you [ __ ] with your phones yeah your [ __ ] [ __ ] and Brian Redman like why is Joey Mad like he's just that's how Joey gets fired up he'll hug you when he gets off stage yeah trust me I like to let him go yeah we all we all got our [ __ ] yeah yeah hell yeah yeah but yeah I I think I'm getting a ring with somebody soon you thinking about it for real I'm thinking I've never been punched I mean I'm thinking about so yes my trainer he teaches me a lot he like if you don't keep your hands up I'ma sneak you oh okay so and I got hit a couple times and and I know a real punch hurt because he don't even hit me for real he'll just kind of just touch it but it's it's it's brutal yeah so I can't even imagine getting hit but I have been hit but I ain't been hit yeah you don't want to give a head no you got to preserve your brain no well I also know how to stick and [ __ ] move out of there as your measure imagine measure Pap out of there I'm swinging out you know I'm not saying I ain't never gonna get hit but I don't want to get out the way for my money Floyd Mayweather is the best ever because he's the guy that got hit the least he's defense defensive uh defensive boxer I like it a lot of people don't like it because he is not aggressive in the ring but he's exactly the right amount of aggression that's what I'm saying like he's he's he ain't coming at you like a [ __ ] train like Mike Tyson you know he's just chilling chilling chilling yeah but I mean but people say that they don't understand what the [ __ ] they're talking about these defensive of course he is he's fighting Canelo Alvarez of course he is yeah you know he's fighting like the greatest boxers of all time
yeah of course he's defensive you're supposed to be and he's a and he's a little man it's not big no I wouldn't want to get hit you're gonna always I'm gonna be moving I'm gonna be man look if I'm him I'm in the best shape of my life I'm moving around you ain't never gonna be able to catch me in that ring I'm never gonna stand in front of your face we never gonna squirrel up what the thing is crazy about Floyd is he does stand right yeah he does he stands right in front of your face and you still can't hit him no that's what a wizard he is he's he's too slick right because a lot of people are really good defensive Fighters like Willie Pep everybody always talks about Willie Pep and Willie Pep was amazing he went around without even throwing a punch one around just with his defensive prowess it was so impressive that he won the round the guy just couldn't touch him but Willie Pep moved around a lot he he like moved around his light on his feet whereas Floyd will stand right in front of you and he's just like yeah scoot's just out of the way and then he's right in front of you again he's shoulder roll and you can't hit him no you watch some of the the videos of him when he fought Canelo it's so impressive like canel's just whiffing at the wind he just can't can't catch him and also you think you can cause he ain't got his gloves on his face right he he yeah he's taunting you though yeah I'm like yo he makes me nervous because I'm like put your pants up put your [ __ ] hands up he knows what he's doing I mean it's just because he knows how to do it so well that he's luring people in to try to hit him it looks like openings are there where they're not and then he counters you I like to watch tank fight too I can't wait for his next fight I think it's in April well that's the Ryan Davis fight right yeah right Ryan Garcia fight rather I can't uh that's a crazy fight yeah that's an interesting fight tank is a Monster yeah he's so different than anybody else because he doesn't throw a lot of punches no he like measures you until he finds out where you're open and then once he finds out where you're open you're [ __ ] it just starts launching missiles your way yeah I enjoyed his last fight too yeah that was crazy I I thought that was going to be a close one but it was close for a
little bit because tank fights like that like because he leaves you know he he doesn't throw a lot of punches he he throws like the least amount of punches like in the early rounds of any of the Champions but then once he figures you out once he sizes you up once he finds out where your holes are you get that timing in it's like he's got a boxing computer in his brain okay we got all the data now this dude's starting to slow down let's start putting it on him and then he starts putting it on him yeah and also with him uh I I like his I like how humble he is as well he's also like he like this I don't know how to describe it he's like this humble cocky man like he knows that he can fight but he ain't got he's like one of those guys he ain't got to say it right you know like I would watch him in his interviews after the fight and he's he ain't saying yeah I told that [ __ ] I was going he ain't nothing he ain't like that what's next for you well I gotta get back in the gym I gotta see all the mistakes I made I gotta clean it up you know I ain't never gonna stop learning in this game he ain't even stunting about making a man go blind in a ring yeah so it's just like I just I just like his swag no he's amazing and he's there's a like a group of guys that are in his level right now like Shakur Stevenson and you know like this this like Elite level and we're gonna find out with Ryan Garcia he's another one who's got that guy's got like the fastest left hook I've ever seen that's a very interesting fight yeah I I I will say I'm I'm I I'm nervous about that one for tank but uh like like tank say he in the lab I'm pretty sure he's figuring it out there's Devin Haney there's that that division is just stepped with Talent they're showing the boxing is a good spot right now it's a fun time to be a fan yeah I like it I'm really really really really digging I'm glad you're doing it I I gotta do it Joe I've been wanting to do it for so long I just I don't you know and it's so crazy too because I thought that my hook would be so my trainer basically told me I'm southpaw I I thought I was a right-handed boxer he's like no your left-handed box I was like you do right with your left hand right with my left hand you're right I
do everything with my left hand but I fight with your left hand forward your right hand forward my right hand forward okay so he fights out Paul yes yes so I thought I thought that my right hand was the strongest that's what I thought but my left hand is the strongest but I got a killer right hook though too but my left hook sucks but it's all in my in my balance he said but your power is your too right you straight left yeah yeah so because I was like no no no no no I was like my power is is my right hand he said no it's your left hand so we got in a fight so he was like what he was he so he came charging at me and as he was charging at me I did this to him he was like you saw Paul if you would have did this then you would have been right because you were trying to set him up for a big left hand right I stopped him with that he said that is your job hand that's how I know your power coming coming from me we know a lot of Fighters uh they would fight Southpaw even though they were right-handed that was Oscar De La Hoya yeah he's right-handed but he fights Southpaw so his strong hand will be forward okay okay yeah there's different schools of thought on that yeah like Emmanuel Stewart did that with a lot of people he took guys that were uh natural right-handed and he put him in a southpaw stance because if you're also if you're learning from a southpaw stance you have an advantage that most people fight Orthodox so when you're fighting it gives people a very when you fight someone who's a southpaw it's confusing when you're boxing because everything's backwards yeah so if you're not used to it like in the early days of boxing but then the best guys are guys like Terence Crawford who could just switch or boots Ennis who just [ __ ] they just switch they can fight you Southpaw they could fight you Orthodox you're like oh Jesus like you don't know where the [ __ ] punches are coming from they're coming from everywhere yeah that's why you gotta learn how to stick and move get out of it back in the day that was really rare like Marvin Hagler was the great at that he was he was like the most famous who was it Marvin Marvin Hagler Marvelous Marvin Hagler yeah he was the middleweight champion he knocked
out Tommy Hearns and I mean Hagler in his time was a destroyer and Hagley would fight so he would switch it up all the time he fight Orthodox he'd fight Southpaw he can go back and forth he would throw a punch and switch stances it was a totally it was very rare in hagler's day that an elite world champion would switch stances so effortlessly but now you got like Terence Crawford does it like I said boots Ennis does it I don't I don't I ain't gonna say I can't do it I'm saying I never have but I might it's a good thing to learn if you can learn how to do things from your left side it actually shows you how to do things better from your right side weirdly enough it actually helps you I'm still learning how to write with my right hand I can't can't even hold this yeah I broke my arm once and I had to do that I had to learn how to write and draw with my left hand I mean I think I can but it's going to be it's awful you can it's but you have to teach your Hannah to do it which is so interesting because you would think if your left hand does it so well your right hand would just you would just tell your right hand to do it yeah but my left hand is stupid it just doesn't listen good my right hand is like exactly I kind of like being left-handed though it's like you know crazily when I was growing up I got bullied for being left-handed a lot of people do you know it's like I was the weird one they used to think it was satanic yeah it's just like they would tell left-handed people to not use their left hand back in the day that but when I was in school they didn't do that to me but the kids would bully me for being left-handed for being out yes that's so stupid I am for having duck feet do you know I look goofy because I hate boxing sometimes and watching myself because I'm so goofy my feet are duck feet so nice play out yes and I can't get up you know I'm trying to get them to stay straight but when I see you know I know what happened I always had duck feet but I look so goofy when I'm boxing because I hurt my niece playing soccer when I was in college I was I don't know how to play soccer but I was you know playing and I went to do a Power kick and this person blocked me so my body
went one way and my leg went the other way I messed my knee up so I just look goofy when I'm boxing but that I might could use that as a as an advantage people like look at this goofy footed [ __ ] then I get in there and I'll whack somebody but I can do it and I love it so you're really thinking about fighting it seems like you're you've got a plan in your head because you're saying you're like painting scenarios where people underestimate you and you [ __ ] them up like so in my mind you're thinking about this I've been thinking about it for a long time really okay have one please don't have a lot don't get don't get your head I really want to do celebrity boxing who would you want to fight ah I don't know we'll call somebody out that probably will smile at my dog Sam J what's up [ __ ] let's fight uh do you uh think that like how much time would you need to prepare for something like that um a month that's it really I'm telling you I I'll be out here you doing a lot how often do you uh if I could do if I can just like box six days a week for a month 24 days you know you ready to [ __ ] somebody up hell yeah [ __ ] right I believe you know short fingernails no no need to I would like to fight my peers the people that I love now really now I could I don't know because why you want to hurt him just because it's fun which is you know just like messing around like kids you know just messing around with my partners and [ __ ] but I do be thinking about starting beef with people just to like just to [ __ ] them up yeah really yeah don't do that yeah especially now that you're on TV look I see a man look I'll be watching Clarissa Fields I'm like that's a big fluorescent Shield what I said Clarissa fields so Mikey Davey making fun of me because I get everybody name for us Joey Diaz's move this is an entire videos of him saying people's names and I said with confidence too of course yeah he does too he calls uh Stipe mioces steel pick oh yeah he calls him steel pick he called uh khabib nurmagomanoff he used to call him yeah the [ __ ] color beam gets a hold of you yeah the color Bean yeah
yeah I I do have a name problem I'ma get it together but that's a big cheap big like that that her I wouldn't want to fight her you ever heard of Ann Wolfe oh is that uh like she ain't she old now yes yeah wolf uh she used to be uh a trainer she was training people after she fought and um James Kirk the guy he fought Canelo yeah yeah she's a she's a cycle yeah she had the most vicious one part right here right there one of the most vicious one punch KO in women's boxing look at that and she did a little dance after us that was I mean they they had talked to gang [ __ ] before that fight and unfortunately she talks to getting [ __ ] to the wrong lady because you know Ann Wolfe had like legit one punch KO power James Kirkland that's who it was and who uh eventually went on to fight Canelo but watch this look at them arms oh my God but it's also the skill she's setting up this overhand right looking at it then eyes mm-hmm measure measure and then she comes forward too predictably boom slip oh my goodness knockout I mean it's like one of the greatest one punch Kos of all time phenomenal I mean that's a an amazing punch look how jacked she was too but that's one thing I don't want to get too jacked because my problem is I I start doing too too much arm work I'll get jacked yeah yeah jacked heart Jay that's why I keep my hair because if I cut it all off I'ma look like a man I was like I don't want to be I don't want to look because I I had to chill out for a second because I don't want to get that jacked I still want to be a little cute but that's World Championship jacked yeah that's a different thing I mean that's like months and months of training camp Jesus yeah and wolf yeah I watch I watched her a lot and she was one of the rare like female boxers that had so many guys respect that she was training men a lot of men yeah she's a I mean the men that were willing to do her routine but the thing is like Kirkland I don't think he wanted to do what she wanted him to do and they spread up they split up yeah and then he went up losing the Canelo but she would drop she see if you can find Ann Wolfe's strength and conditioning
um James Kirkland I got to get to L.A because there was like these strength and training routines that she would put Fighters through like they did not want to do know what she wanted to do she would break you like her camps were notoriously brutal good yeah well that's how you become a champion yeah that was it she didn't she had a no tolerance for [ __ ] policy when it came to training I want to dab this lady coach cam out in uh Los Angeles I wanna she's trained in James Kirkland and you know whoa terrible sound so to Kirkland at one point Tom was a Top Flight professional and she was his trainer wow yeah Kirkland was a beast he's you know he he was like the recipient of one of canelo's most impressive Kos yeah and that was the camp that oh yeah that he didn't work with uh Anne wolf it was just brutal it's a brutal kale but but it was also Canelo I mean Canelo was one of the greatest of all time I was upset he lost his last fight against Dimitri bivo well he won his last fight but the b-ball fight B Falls another weight class I mean canelo's a psycho just the fact that he decided to go up to 175 and fight the best at 175 fight one of the champions yeah that's a crazy fight they're doing a rematch good I think that's taking place in April is that what it is the Canelo rematch that'll be good yeah that's uh I can't wait for that one is that what it is they should do that they should do that and Cinco de Mayo let's go hey Mexican Fighting Cinco de Mayo yes better put a lot of security out there today it's going down especially if he loses oh yeah yeah I don't think he's gonna lose this you don't think so I don't think so come I think he's gonna say September yeah November announcement says in September that's interesting that's interesting that they announced it in November but I'm just hearing about it now I know it could be just maybe there was negotiations that fell through but I think uh Canelo had to get surgery on his wrist that's probably why I was put off so long he tore something in his wrist in the um Triple G Fight maybe even in Camp um yeah that's there's more updated but it does I don't know
December article says maybe in May um Cinco de Mayo one of my favorite times of the year yeah yeah you found tequila yes I'll let my medicine I got a call what are you drinking now this is a Ron White's tequila I love my round white I love Ron White too it's all iced up yeah oh yeah Ron's out here all the time I got a uh I gotta I gotta hit tequila especially cassadoris reposada I gotta hit them up like I love y'all all I drink is y'all y'all need to uh hook a girl up because I already have my little slogan and everything for him oh you have a slogan there have they have their agenda I have my tequila all is right with the world well I'm glad you documented on this show so they can't snatch that ah there you go that's good right they have their agenda I have my tequila all is right with the word oh it's [ __ ] right that's a good commercial I'm trying to tell you that's pretty good I just want to whisper that one that Casa do it is that's my [ __ ] but it's good I like I like I like samaniejo um I don't really like too much dark uh stuff like whiskey um only reason why not taste wise because I love to sip me a good whiskey or good cognac but I get a little crazy you crazy on Whiskey on the brown yeah really interesting yeah just a little weird I always wonder if there's any science to that because people do believe that well if I drink Vodka I'm kind of I could get a little mean to kill her I'm chilling all night okay whiskey Russians vodka yeah I mean yeah whiskey Mexicans pasta yep Kickback whiskey I'll go home and start acting crazy wild west whiskey when I think of whiskey I think Wild West I think shootouts Clint Eastwood movies of course pulls off the bottle of whiskey with a cork gin make me emotional emotional I'll go back down memory lane so hard on Jen really where's gin origin originate from it's not like European what's gin I think I've had gin like twice in my life I can't drink it I just for whatever reason gin and tonic
seems like something I would drink before I die like when when I'm like ready I'm ready to cash it in I don't have a genome you know be like playing bridge with my neighbor he's like oh no the Middle Ages in Europe um there you go so it's European but back in the suffering days when everybody had syphilis there you go yeah so there is a science to it yeah I wonder well you know some people believe that psychedelics in particular that every time you uh engage in that you're not just engaging in this one individual experience but you're sharing the experiences of everyone who's ever done those psychedelics right which is really a wild way of thinking about it because if that is the case that maybe applies to alcohol as well and if it does apply to alcohol and that this thing that you're drinking you're not just drinking tequila but you're also tapping into like a well of experiences that other people who've drank tequila have had or vodka or whiskey which would make sense would why people get wild with whiskey if you think about all the Kentucky bourbon that was made in this country where people were [ __ ] shooting Indians and just train robberies [ __ ] shooting buffalos I mean whiskey has probably had some of the most violent [ __ ] up experiences in this country attached to it in the early days of this country [ __ ] yeah I gotta yeah and that's why Moon John is the cranes dude all right now see moonshine you're gonna wake up in the middle of a shootout with the cops I I am a [ __ ] sociopath on [ __ ] moonshine I had to stop drinking moonshot almost like I'm divorced now but I almost lost my wife when I was married when I was drinking moonshine I don't know why I'll just get [ __ ] naked in public what if that's it what if that really is it what if like when you take in a substance you're not just taking that substance but you're taking in the body of all the other people that have had that experience on that substance and you're sharing some weird vibe crazy way of looking at it I I know I I mean I'm considering that it can be a factor I'm thinking about it now for the first time I've thought about it before with with mushrooms and I've thought about it before with psychedelics I think there might be something to that
because psychedelics are so weird like when you're doing them like baby I am maybe that is part of what's going on here maybe like everyone who's ever had this experience like [ __ ] it leaves something in there yeah you you experience something with them I wanna I do want to try Ayahuasca I'm scared of it I'm very very I don't like when I can't control what I'm doing and I feel like that's something that you can't control because I've heard people that's done it and afterwards they love it but while they're dealing with it and going through it they can't control what's happening to them no you can't control the trip no you can't control DMT you can't control mushrooms either you know and when you try to that's when you have the bad trips I I want to do it so much because I feel like just when you cross over to the other side of that it's just this peace that you this inner peace that you have within yourself that I think it might be worth it to do it um maybe what if you do it and you don't want a box anymore about loved Punky no first of all no I know I do no I don't want if that's the case I ain't never doing that [ __ ] because I I gotta knock somebody the [ __ ] out you know but I just oh man I'm scared Joe you ever done it I've not done Ayahuasca I've only done DMT but I'm scheduled to do it really yeah Zone are you gonna film it no somebody asked me to do something like that with mushrooms I'm like I'm not that's not a thing you should do well for yourself because I don't have a tiny trip but you don't even want to know what camera's there you don't want to be thinking about anything else oh yeah you want to take get the most out of the experience at least me personally and I feel like if you're filming it you're not gonna you're gonna be aware that there's cameras it's like that's gonna be there's an element like part of psychedelics that's very important is set and setting you know like you you like some people think that whenever you take certain psychedelics like sacred psychedelics like psilocybin for instance like you should have a very peaceful setting and you should set it
up correctly and you should also get your mind into a good place before you do it maybe do some yoga don't eat anything get your mind right calm yourself down maybe meditate and prepare yourself correct you're gonna you're going for a wild ride you got to be ready to just relinquish control the reins maybe I'll try mushrooms again I did mushrooms once I don't I was like no I'm not doing it what happened I couldn't see color um everything was one color and I could I it didn't matter what I did to my eyes no matter how much I blanked them how long it came close and opened them what color was it hello guys slept red how long I slapped my face yeah I literally seen red yes it was like a screen so instead of black and white it was like black and red yes yes so you could see objects I saw everything but everything was red whoa and I'm just like nah I'm good how long did that last a couple hours it was a couple hours what else happened it wasn't like 24 hours right but it was just a couple hours that's why I don't ever want to try acid because I heard that that's like a 24-hour trip supposedly can be yeah I don't want to I'm never talking to no yeah I've heard stories of people thinking they're drowning I'm like [ __ ] that because if you think you're drawing it [ __ ] you're drowning I ain't doing that so nah I just don't ever want to be in a position to wear like I saw this movie and uh this guy like controlled like if you cross this guy the wrong way I think it was called hypnotist or something if you cross this guy the wrong way he would he would uh hypnotize you and make you think that you were in a stressful situation and you could die like this one woman the walls were closing in on her she was rude to him I made him mad and the walls were closing in on her in her mind but they weren't and she [ __ ] had a heart attack and died and I feel like sometimes a drug can do that to you and I'm not trying to go out like that [ __ ] that I think if you are definitely if you have a tendency
towards anxiety and paranoia and and you freak out like as you're sober that yeah it's probably not a good thing for you no I do have anxiety but it ain't that crazy but the acid I think I will freak out like that that's why I think Ayahuasca is what I should do okay because I've never tried the mushrooms again maybe you got a bad batch I think so right what'd you get them from no don't say it don't say it oh no but I was also very very young too I was in my teens so it's about 20 years ago yeah it's amazing how many people do mushrooms so don't talk about it yeah I've had so many people hit me up that you know you go really okay you do them wild you know [ __ ] Jordan Peterson did eight grams talked about it eight eight grams yeah mushrooms yeah yeah I'll I'll stretched out all day yeah he talked about it like she what a profound experience it was man the heart the idea is the heroic dose the big one yeah a profound experience yeah it didn't just see red I mean what did you take like a little bit I don't remember I was and I it was like a peer pressure situation I was I was very very young oh it was like an in-crowd type okay I wasn't yeah you know my own person at the time and I just fell into the pressure and I took the [ __ ] and I was already paranoid so problem is all that [ __ ] is not regulated like you don't know where the [ __ ] it's from you know it's with everything that's illegal that's the number one problem with the besides overdoses what overdoses are also connected to that is that no one knows what's in it no one knows what it is where they got it you're just getting it from a guy who got it from someone else you don't know the supply chain you don't know who's growing it like yeah yeah I I don't know nothing about the legalities of mushrooms they're very illegal I had no [ __ ] clue because I've never heard anybody getting arrested for having mushrooms ever in my life well most people don't honestly and if they do it's like a large number of them they're trying to distribute but they're used therapeutically like John
Hopkins university did a study on them therapeutically they're talking about using them for veterans with PTSD and other people with PTSD therapeutically I think I can understand that yeah people that at the last stages of their life it helps alleviate the tension of worrying that you're gonna die okay yeah there's a lot of benefits that people are showing with uh psychedelic therapy and there's a company called Maps that's exploring a lot of those and particularly MDMA they use MDMA for a lot of people with uh post-traumatic stress disorder that was MDMA I was with a friend of mine in Oklahoma I'll tell you who it is after and uh he it was like you know of course everybody's all stressed out it's like after covet I'm driving out the country I mean all across the country to get to New Orleans I stopped in Oklahoma with one of my friends and the whole time he's like I need MDMA and I'm I don't know too much about them like what the [ __ ] is MD he's like I need it I gotta find it so we go out Okay Oklahoma didn't give a [ __ ] about covid okay there's too much after covet hit we go out to this blazing hot nightclub I mean it is a lit okay no Mass no vaccine was even thought of at the time I mean people don't give a [ __ ] okay we happy we all out with the people you know I'm like [ __ ] it we sick now [ __ ] I'm just gonna call it we got covered [ __ ] it we here this [ __ ] disappears okay he's gone I call my homeboy I'm like we can't find let's call him Brian we can't find Brian um so we all go outside we looking for Brian Brian ain't nowhere to be fine we bro we roll around the block we come oh my God we can't find Brian finally we find Brian in this parking lot buying MDMA yeah from these like it's like six black dudes with tattoos all in his face and mind you he the way he looked he did not belong over there with those black guys and he he the black guy I walk up to him I'm like bro what are you doing he's like MDMA and the black guy he looks at me he was like he gave him the drug he's like hurry up and get this [ __ ] away from me okay so we get him away from him and we go uh to my Jeep and then my friend he's talking [ __ ] to these black dudes calling them all kinds and I'm like what are you doing shut the [ __ ] up you're gonna get
us killed and the dudes came over and he was like you're lucky y'all came out here to get him because if he would have said one more [ __ ] thing we would have whipped his ass and he looked up and said one more [ __ ] thing next thing I know oh no these dudes that next thing I know Dave he his ass got knocked the [ __ ] out I mean I'm talking about knocked out to his nose in the ground look like he's planking right um these dudes that attacked him I'm telling you they was raised by their grandmother or someone sweet because they could have attacked us too they just got his ass they was like y'all ain't do nothing beat his ass so we trying to pick him up but we gave him a worse concussion because that dead weight was so heavy we pick him up he bust all his face open again so finally we get some help we put him in the in the Jeep and after about 20 minutes he wakes up he wakes up I had all my clothes in the back I got like my underwear wrapped around his bloody face oh no and he's like what is this what is this we like you stupid [ __ ] you got knocked out you dumb [ __ ] you could have got us killed and he said who got knocked out I got knocked out oh no we like you know you got knocked the [ __ ] out if you don't remember being knocked the [ __ ] out yeah it was um I'm like it must have was worth it probably not probably that could have been avoided oh no he still had the [ __ ] building my eyes out cold that [ __ ] ain't dropped not a one oh God yeah I'm like all right let's end this podcast so I can find out who that is oh not a problem you're gonna [ __ ] die laughing man I appreciate you very much and it's beautiful to see you succeed I'm very very happy for you Joe it's awesome I appreciate it this one thing I could cross off my bucket list this was a dream come true being on the show thank you my friend congratulations yes sir thank you very much bye everybody [Music] foreign [Music]