Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-neDlW8f67c
[Music] yeah what is that it's an nft sort of it's like digital art it's beepled you know he's he's the best brilliant every day that guy puts out a new piece insane and it's computer generated but does he go in and like paint i don't understand how it works but there's something involving computers they should i think i think there's a palm pilot um uh i would think every time i see one of his pieces on instagram like you know they'll be like a sweeping sort of dystopian city what the [ __ ] is that this is gonna give me nightmares for us i need you the hair on my god hairy legs but wait are they biting why are they look raspberries but those are germs i think yeah see it says mild symptoms that's what it's called he's just such a character too he's a really fun guy you you you would enjoy him on your podcast my uterus right now um wow what is the what is the one where it's he'll do like a cityscape and i'm like oh they should make an animated movie about his worlds yeah uh not that one there's a bunch of them well there's so many the problem is he puts out one every single day god it's wild yeah it's amazing stuff it's really good wow it's almost i don't want to compare it because he'll probably hate me if he hears this but it feels like it's got banksy-esque commentary like using sort of famous iconic images and subverting them but he'll say like when you asking like you know why why do you have all the you know dicks dressed up as missiles is like i don't know i [ __ ] just made a [ __ ] picture of some dicks that was us last night watching top gun yeah which i loved it was a mind-bending thrill ride i was mrs rogan wasn't that into it well it was she was like we definitely were laughing at parts that got a little too like homoerotic like melodramatic it felt a little telenovela and it was it didn't help that all the machines look like giant dicks flying through the air it was all these guys on dicks being like love you man but i thought it was cool because it was
just like it was so um unabashedly emotional and patriotic and it was like a love letter to our forces oh it really is i mean well they got in trouble right like china won't distribute it because he wore a taiwanese flag on his back or something was that the john hamm character i think someone told me he was the character was so decorated and had one taiwanese flag and they might have made them take it out of course i think they were gonna take it out but then they changed their mind or something but it's like the pressure from china yeah there it is yeah so here it is 2019 the trailer for top gun maverick showed cruz's character us navy pilot pete mitchell in the same bomber jacket he wore in the original film but two of its flag patches representing japan and the republic of china the official name for taiwan appeared to have been replaced by other emblems this movie was like four years old then that's what 2019. that's wild they're like we can't believe tom cruise so they started filming it then i think it was supposed to come out and then the pandemic happened they're like we need to be in theaters we gotta wait right it's funny that the problem they have with tom cruise is that he believes taiwan is its own country and not that he believes in aliens well i believe in aliens he doesn't believe in aliens he believes that we are thetans right right we were like dropped off in volcanoes that were like ice cubes i have a hot take on scientology which is that i drive by the creepy scientology center in la now and i'm like you know what i'm glad anyone that thinks that's a good idea is in a building anyone that would be vulnerable to that is just they've got them they can't they stay in there they go on boat like what would the people that think scientology is a good idea to subscribe to be doing if scientology was not available to like be the cult that they're a part of they would like join the moonies or something yep there would be something else yeah they would find some other thing to latch on to cult type thing yeah i mean there's just a lot of vulnerable people out there that just have weak minds and i think the more apocalyptic the world
becomes or the more it feels like this doomsday thing the more we all want to latch on to something that's going to give us a sense of control fake control if they didn't have such a wacky origin story i think they'd be way more successful the problem is like the guy who started did you ever read lawrence wright's going clear i saw the documentary i interviewed him fascinating guy and you've had leah on yeah i've had leon i had um miscavige's dad on who escaped like literally escaped in a car chase left the compound to to get away from his son and and scientology and the wife is missing shelley i don't believe she's missing i think she came out and said no i'm fine oh really but you know i think she was it my robot was her color hair [Laughter] i can find i think she was punished for insubordination i bet she probably didn't salute correctly something went wrong it's it's pretty wild i mean and the fact that they still have tax they don't pay taxes that's the wildest thing it's like first of all here's what's wild that guy l ron hubbard who created scientology was a science fiction writer who is the most prolific author in human history he has more published work than any other author ever because that [ __ ] never wrote a second draft his work is so bad it's so bad it's like and then they pulled the laser beans out and shooted them at the planet and then the planet blew up into a million pieces and then those million pieces shot off into individual spaceships and those individual spaceships floated out into different galaxies and started their own universes like it's so bad but back then was he on a typewriter or was it handwritten oh yeah typewriter for sure yeah that's too annoying to have to go back and redo well they all did that i mean that was hemingway's famous quote that ari used to have glued on his laptop it said the first draft of everything is [ __ ] first drafts are supposed to suck yeah they suck you're trying to get your ideas out there and then you go back and
you sort of reform them and that's i mean that's how it is with every bit right i'm just i cannot tell you this is the first time i've shot an hour that i felt like was like ready like ready do you think you're more ready because we have all this time because of the pandemic i made a promise to myself that i would not come out of the pandemic less skilled at anything less interesting you know too late sloppy how dare you um and i was like okay we always have this time like we can't sit around and just get rusty we can't when we come back and everyone finally is you know in their mind taking a big risk going to a show where people are exhaling on each other or like you know taking a risk to go to a venue which is what how people thought about it at least some states when we first started going back out and um they've been inside for two years they've been listening to us on podcasts they feel connected to us i was like i'm not gonna go out there and be mediocre or you know work out and it would like be sloppy and so i um worked really hard over the pandemic to be writing to be thoughtful and to go you know this stuff is killing but in 10 years will it still feel insightful and fresh like just cutting a lot of stuff that felt like it works but i would rather go smarter or weirder or try to figure out a way that this is going to um age well i think it gives you time to i think the thing about like the way we were doing specials before was like every two years is great louis did it every one year for a while which i think is kind of insane yeah but every two that's and that's what carlin did too so i think that's the model that he adopted every two years is good but for me like i'm about to film and i feel like my [ __ ] has never been tighter it's like never been tighter because i had the time off and then getting back into it also i had like this newfound enthusiasm because i recognized like hey this thing that we
love so much almost went away and kind of did for at least a year we took it for granted yeah but now i have these bits that i didn't record in 2020 and i got to hone them and sharpen them and edit them and polish them and and then add all this new stuff to it as well and it's just i think that's the way to do it i think it's more like three years or maybe even four this is and you made a very big impact on me one day you might not even remember it but this was maybe my last special and uh i was about to shoot it and you went i just shot a special all i can tell you is if you think you're ready do it for another three months yeah like is when you think you're ready that's when you need another three months you know and i had probably after i thought i was ready i was able to do like i mean i did maybe 85 90 shows or something of this one so it was really fun to like be in the pocket feel like it was ready and then go nah there's more to do there's more to chisel yeah and i don't know if you really know till after you filmed it but this is i've done five specials this is the first one that when i taped it i was like i'm done i wasn't still thinking of tags later it wasn't haunting me i wasn't looking at the edit going i should have thought of that i was like i have left everything on the floor well when we saw you at the paramount you were so loose you you were so in the groove you know what you know when someone is just like you know when someone's thinking while they're up there and they're thinking about their next bid or they're thinking about their transitions you are just free you know that's a sign that someone's ready thank you and that um that means a lot and i i agree with you not to uh sounds narcissistic but i do think that you know there's a point you get to when you work something so hard in front of so many different kinds of people you know in that hour you know i feel uh really precious about in a way or connected to it because i was doing it outside on cars with people in masks like in parking lots like so many different places so by the time i got to like a theater where you know it's like it just feels like you're flying
and it's the best feeling in the world to just kind of go like i know all this is going to work now what else can i bring to it physically or playfully and how can i surprise myself so that i'm actually on a ride with them too and that's pretty wild that you did in parking lots too right like whoever gets to say that i did stand up to it to people in cars because so now it's like i've been getting this such amazing feedback which has been sort of suspiciously nice you know because the internet usually you know doesn't treat anyone like that much less female comedians but um there's something that feels so um uh like this is everybody's hour because i did it so many everyone that came and laughed and honked in whatever the hell we were going through i'm like i know that you guys laughed and if anyone says this isn't good they're judging you like i went all over the country i went everywhere and um i just really feel good about that that's great like this has worked everywhere for a while and um i had fun and i was in the moment when i was performing which is hard to capture you know i almost feel like specials like you know when you just shoot you when you have a great performance somewhere and you're like god i wish we could just film that right and then you go to shoot it and then all of a sudden it's like you're in this completely unnatural situation there's cameras the audience feels the cameras and you're like oh god i almost wish that we all just toured and one day you're you know in denver and someone's like hey just so you know we got that you know right there's my special right like you just no one knew there was camera exactly well the club that we're setting up out here we're putting cameras in the walls we're setting it up so that someone can film there and all we have to do is just press button i would love to shoot my next special there let's [ __ ] do it can i tell you i think the best you know i'm actually in the fall i'm gonna go back and do a couple clubs because i just missed that that 400 yeah people in one place you're killing and you're on like mind-melding there's no
better feeling than that i don't think there's a better environment to watch comedy or to do comedy than a club i think i love arenas because they're just nuts like like standing out there in front of you know just insane sea of human beings in the round it's really fun and when you kill the the sound is insane but it's it's not the same experience it's a different bigger grander experience but there's something so intimate about like a 300 seat room or a 400 seat room when it's packed and the low ceilings and you're crushing it's like that's that's real comedy that's as good as comedy gets and i try to really play defense on i know people's kind of zeitgeist d to talk about claptor because if you have all your own fans and everyone's psyched to be there and you have a lot of people and people are cheering and you're like there's a difference between involuntary laughs and cheering right and when i went back on tour i'd find that i'd be like yeah the other day you know i was went on a date and people were like whoa and you're like that's not all that's how peop that's how comedians start to suck they conflate that response with the involuntary life right but you would never do that no i just mean like you're too self-aware sometimes audiences get amped if they're just your people they bought tickets they're invested i just mean like every now and then you got to do don't worry about traps that fallen for people that suck that's what that is that's a people that suck trap where they get excited and so they purposely say things they know will get people to cheer that [ __ ] is nonsense there's so many people that do that but in a club you you can feel the you can feel how you're doing oh yeah yeah well that's one of the beautiful things about a little club right like the belly room when you're in that little room little rooms like that are just like the truth serum yep they keep you so honest too and and i think that you know with social media now and it's just like it's hard to not be corny and be full of [ __ ] it's not because we're promoting ourselves we're going hey guys come see me at the it's like how are we becoming the very thing that we make fun of it's
way harder for people that don't have podcasts you know why because they feel the need to express their opinions about certain things in a way that is kind of awkward where like we we talk about things so much on podcast that when you're on stage you can just talk [ __ ] and just have fun well they can't do that they feel like they have to establish their positions on roe v wade and establish their positions on this and that and they have to do that on stage which is kind of crazy because it's like it's not a good way to do comedy you know it's just not unless you have a really good bit about it if you have a really good roe v wade bit yeah great but if you're just bringing it up just say you know we're in a bad time right now and this [ __ ] roe v wade makes my goddamn blood boil yay [Applause] that is why i called the special jokes oh and i know you know people tend to you know overthink their titles sometimes i think for the most part nobody remembers any of the titles like oh it was the third one it was the one where he was in in chicago at the theater right you know right but um i really wanted to let people know that you know i'm not going to lecture you on how to vote i'm not going to bring you in promising you comedy and then do a secret ted talk halfway through where i am vulnerable and talk about my abusive childhood like i'm just trying to make you laugh i am a clown and i take that very seriously and i think there's just been this thing where comedians now feel like they have to be weigh in on everything you know why twitter yeah that's what it is yeah that's why i don't go on it this people are all toxic they're out of their [ __ ] minds have you seen nor mcdonald's new special no i haven't it's rough stuff it's rough for me to watch i don't want to i don't want to get sad i couldn't it i cried a couple times i called schwartzen and i was like i can't watch it and he's like just watch it you dumb [ __ ] get the [ __ ] over yourself you know so it's like okay you're right you're right what am i doing and because he does look
you know he looks not very well he doesn't look well um and how long was it before he died that was filmed maybe a year or something it's called nothing special he shot it in his house like into an like a computer into like an ipad and he did this why did he do it during the pandemic do you do it as a special i don't know if he intended for it to be a special or if it just he shot it during the pandemic well i mean he must have and then he died and it was you know but was he just experimenting with the material or was he you never know with norm you never know how worked out it is and he had this joke he's just like perfect he goes um you know he's like ever you know now people want comedians to weigh in on like political issues and you know he's like back during the vietnam war was everyone like i wonder what red skeleton thinks he's just like perfect and he wasn't preachy there's a way to do it there's a way to get your point across without being preachy so he said i'm obviously going to butcher it and norm's one of my you know heroes so i'm sorry norm i'm stomping on your grave um but uh he goes like he's like and i was watching the news you know and you know sometimes there's this you know guy giving you the news or woman like if he mentions like you know sometimes there's like a guy there or girl like and acknowledging the egg shells and just leaning hard in it but not making a comment yeah that was it you know and he just does stuff in such a deft elegant way and um he was he was uh mocking the idea that every everyone needs like have a platform now for their cause and he's like look i know everyone's using you know comedy as their platform for their cause i my cause it is very important to me he's like i am against cannibalism and i know that you guys have probably made up your mind on cannibalism by now and there's nothing i can do to change your mind but i am against it and then he goes but i'm not gonna make this my bully pulpit
and it's just bizarre and hilarious and it's just so weird and you know it's norm yeah he was he had such a bizarrely unique sense of humor but it worked you know just from him it worked remember that his sagget roast no i don't watch roasts it's this is norm mcdonald's wasn't funny that one was particular if i remember too that was a good one it is because the roast you know i mean it's it's greg gerald i mean it's it's all of us writing perfect airtight the most offensive brutal jokes you can tell on the planet which by the way i think i'm going to do a couple roasts on only fans really isn't that crazy they asked me to do like their first like tv content thing and i was like god you know what we can't do anymore brutal roast jokes you can't do them on network television you're getting in trouble what if it was behind a paywall what if instead of like dirty pictures and dirty videos it was like dirty jokes that you can't tell anywhere we'll see it could work dirty jokes you can't tell anywhere but you kind of can tell jokes that are funny anywhere well you know what it is it's more like you're not going to get the blowback you would if it was just on twitter instagram there's no comment there's a pay wall so it's like it's almost like a patreon or something it's like if you're coming here and then you say anything you're just a snitch you know what's bizarre about only fans they don't have a search section we're reading this yesterday we're reading about how many people are on only fans since 2019 like i don't remember what the numbers were do you remember where the numbers were it went from 70 000 in 2019 to just over a million uh like in 2021 or something yeah so the pandemic created a lot of hoes they just they were already there they need to get their cash that's true into it there's teachers making we don't pay teachers enough if teachers go and only fans and show their tits like i know but isn't that like sad
isn't it sad to make 30 grand a year it is saturday when you're teaching our next generation yeah but what i'm saying is isn't it sad that that's how they have to make money i mean yeah i guess it's it's it depends i just watched this have you seen this documentary the most hated man on the internet no who is the most hated man on the internet his name is hunter moore i don't know brandon shop just went like this i remember this guy [Laughter] i don't even want to get caught in these crosshairs i don't even want to be close to this damn it there wasn't i literally oh that was close oh gosh i've done by the way god damn it andrew i just did andrew schultz's podcast i did a bunch of podcasts in uh in new york and it was always like the countdown to when that was going to come up right i'm glad we just got it out of the way real early okay listen i love brendan we love him he's my homie he's always going to be my i don't care what dumb [ __ ] he says dude i don't give a [ __ ] i love that guy to death i will always i'm a ride or die the mat the amount of backlash and [ __ ] i got when i started and had a show out was brutal it was brutal i didn't know you then i met you at the laugh factory i remember i met you at the lab factory i had already been kicked out of the comedy store and that was it was during my time where i was doing other clubs so it was somewhere around like 2007-ish or something like that upstairs i met you so i don't remember where i met you but i'm like you're in the corner crying um yeah it's so weird to think that because i was at the comic store when you were not and you were still such a big presence there in a way that it's because ari was there you know it just was i don't know i felt like i knew you maybe before i knew yeah that was a weird time it was a weird time for you too because like there was a lot of people hating on you because your show because it was so big like you had these giant billboards and your face was everywhere
you know that's just one of those things where that [ __ ] green envy monster pops out of people and they get so mad but it's also i'm a comic i know what you're making fun of if there was a show called you know um you know rita with some girl holding a beach ball like like being sassy i would make fun of it too it was like you know i was young and and you know it's like as a comedian you get an offer like that how old were you when you got uh whitney 27 27 damn that's crazy you have your own show at 27. and i wanted to hire all my friends i fought really hard even though i had no power you know i wrote the part for crystalia you know and i said i don't want to do this without him not that i even had any of that power at the time you know of course they want to cast like these actors that have been on nine shows that have been on a bunch of failed shows you're like why do i want someone that's the amir or people have voted they don't want to see was it that you started doing stand-up 2004 so you were only doing stand-up for a short period of time how many years before you got your show six that's wild that's wild wild i was doing the roast i was a writer for the roasts and then i was on the roasts and i comedy central did not i never got premium blend or i never got gotham i never got um new faces in montreal which really quick just a joke that you might appreciate that i wrote for joan rivers at the joan rivers roast but didn't tell this is kind of an inside comedy thing joan rivers has had so much work done on her face every year she books montreal new faces and so then i did the joan rivers roast and i did so well that comedy central offered me a half hour and then i just was like i wanted to do to do an hour because you know they said no to me so many times right as soon as i had leverage i just was like right use it [ __ ] this yeah because also then on when when comedians complain about their clips being you know broken
up on instagram or their stand-up being broken up i always try to go like remember when we were on comedy central and they would break up our specials seven minutes and then a four minute commercial and then five minutes they would just arbitrarily break it up anywhere and you only actually had 42 minutes to actually do stand up yeah and your set was [ __ ] up because like sometimes those bits would continue after the commercial break and people would forget what the [ __ ] premises and if people were just tuning in they had no idea they didn't give a [ __ ] they just shoved those commercials in there i remember my it's like an adam and eve and you're like cool like i remember i used to my second comedy central special i remember trying to time it seven minutes punchline killer as and do like three mini sets with little closers instead of one big set yeah because of the way they would cut it up to be 27 and have your own show is so crazy crazy it's so it's so like so much pressure that must have been like really overwhelming and weird well because i think at that point you think more is more in terms of press publicity that kind of stuff but keep doing it do it all but it's also i didn't realize how um you know it's interesting the way that you know whether it's our business or just people in general they look at comedians as kind of these children that need to be babysat instead of these mature adults that have gone all around the country and you know comported ourselves actually we act like silly gooses sometimes but we really have our [ __ ] together it's what we do is not easy so going in and and when they were making the billboards and stuff i was like you guys this is this looks like a cheesy sitcom from the this looks like veronica's closet like this looks like a fran drescher show from the 80s it was like because it was multicam it was like purple font and i don't know what i was doing they do those photo shoots with you and they're like you know make this face like do this and i'm like oh man i was like painted as like the finger wagging like annoying girlfriend i don't know but the show was like a role
reversal it was about me someone who had come from three divorces and was actually commitment phobic but in love with someone and trying to figure out how to like you know like someone who's kind of feral trying to be domesticated to be in a normal relationship and yeah you know and it was people loved it they couldn't get past the multi-cam of it um and which is weird because i feel like multicam is so respected in one in one way cheers and well explain what to people what that means it means you did it in front of a live audience sure like when you shoot show in front of a live studio audience roseanne so who couldn't get that shot what do you mean they couldn't get past that i think people would just were so mad that i like existed that they couldn't it was like well that's a laugh track they were mad that you existed maybe that's interesting so it's just who are these people i don't know like critics or other comics like what do you i don't know it was i think i also it was a multi i did two multicams that year shows in front of a live studio audience uh the whitney show and then two broke girls two brook girls was on cbs it was beloved and ended up going for six seasons that was a show that had other multicams two and a half men big bang theory um mike and molly so that was so the network was already sort of set up for that and anyone watching that network is already queens yeah i followed the office and community on oh i see so they were used to single cam things being shot kind of like a movie i think the inside cool kids club was like what's this like i got news for you that club sucks and those people that are in that club are all [ __ ] the inside cool kid club those are [ __ ] pretending to not be [ __ ] well you know what they're douchebags pretending to be kind and considerate and the irony is like they all it's a lot it's a lot of harvard guys it's like harvard lampoon guys well some of the best writers yeah i've met a lot of great writers from harvard it's kind of amazing how many good like a lot of the guys from news radio were were harvard guys oh interesting that lampoon thing right well they're just you know
really smart guys who became the you know that that you got sort of ushered into this group and it was a great way to like use that intellect and that love of comedy and comedy writing and it was already like a clearly established path you know like paul sims had come through there and all these different and when they came through it's like there was other ones that had already paved the path it was like oh i'll just go on to write for sitcoms right and then i you know hey this guy's really funny we'll hire him he was also in you know the lampoon but you're not better than me because you went to harvard we're both telling dick jokes we're both doing dick jokes here guys you know i mean that that is always a part of harvard right a part of ivy league education is that you know some people are going to feel like they're elite right which is fine if you're doing elite work but there's a lot of people that were just not you know and but they had the attitude were you taking classes in a building that had epstein etched on the top didn't harvard have epstein money did he yeah they well in the science yeah well he definitely donated some money to science yeah you know but i had a conversation with a scientist who didn't buy into that ebstein stuff and wouldn't go to the meetings and stuff like that and he said he was really shocked at how little money he actually donated interesting yeah he goes it wasn't that much money he goes it was really like he he was more than that he was bringing them to parties like it was a it was an intelligence operation whoever was running it whether it was uh the mossad or whether it was the cia or whether it was a combination of both it was an intelligence operation they were bringing in people and compromising them and then when they would compromise them they would use you know whatever they had on them to influence their opinions and the way they expressed those opinions and i don't know why they would want to do that with scientists which is really
strange to me epstein's like i need you to do a study about how 15 year old girls are adults they're more mature than we thought but if a scientist donates i'm sorry if a rich person donates to a scientist do they have any ability to weigh in or they're just like here's a i get no decisions about how this money's spent it's a very good question i don't know i don't know i mean i would imagine the money goes like if you have a research grant right and say like you're working on a cure for leukemia or something like that you know you find established scientists that are working on this thing and then you you allocate money so that they can work on projects whether or not the person who donates the money has any influence on how that money is spent i doubt it i highly don't i don't think legitimate scientists would allow yeah because i mean i know that just my you know if you're shooting an independent movie that has investors russian investors saudi investors like you have to hang out with them oh really oh yeah they're at video village like it's kind of the it's like you have to flirt with them here here it says epstein regularly visited had card key access to and was provided a designated office space within the program in evolutionary dynamics until 2018 so that means they they gave him that at harvard after he had been arrested for [ __ ] underage girls had an office yeah granting him that level of access raises serious questions about the compliance with harvard's policies and beginning in 2017 about whether or not the professor no walk acted in deliberate circumvention of harvard security procedures so he was arrested and did he'd already did time by then which is crazy it's also like at first i was like oh god he was on campus with all these like girls how scary but they were probably too old for him so look at this here harvard university said friday that convicted sex offender jeffrey epstein donated more than 9 million to the university over the course of a decade and had an office on campus after his 2006 arrest nope so he was arrested in 2006 and then after that up until 2018 still had an office there
that is why old but here's the thing whatever he was doing and i don't know why he was doing it you know and no one knows now that he's dead but he had a lot of scientists that he was tight with and that was one of the things that he did was bring these scientists to that island and he would have young girls on that island but like what's the end goal there this is what i don't understand and what's really crazy is galen maxwell is in a minimum security prison she teaches you he's allowed to do yoga she's allowed to hang out and watch tv she watched netflix and she allowed to use email to send us the list that's what i was going to say the list has not been released like there is a [ __ ] list and this is not a mystery there's not a mystery to the people that there's her hippo campus pull out her hippocampus have a lawn you know i've been friends with elon gold for so long well long gold probably can do an impression of elon musk so there you go uh elon gold does amazing impressions he um used to call me and prank me as other people all the time and one time he called me as jeff goldblum and i was like busy and i was like stop [ __ ] bothering me dude and i kept hanging up on him and then like an hour later it was actually jeff goldblum he's like oh this is actually me uh can you stop hanging up on me so random but but let me ask you is it something as insane as this because what's more profitable than you know new cutting-edge science whether it's a you know a prescription whether it's a finding whether it's a something like does he if he donates to some kind of scientific discovery that's going to be lucrative down the line a pill a medicine a cure does he get any kind of power over it or money from it well some of these scientists were strength theory physicists like they're not inventing [ __ ] okay like
some of the the stuff that they were working on it's like this very bizarre kind you mean theoretical stuff it's i don't know how that's applicable to anything financial yeah i mean maybe i'm wrong maybe i'm missing i just say if you donate to um university of austin and they discuss to the cancer research and they discover the cure for cancer and you donated you should get get a piece of peanuts nice little taste um you probably do i mean they they definitely have that with some medical inventions you know so i digressed about so this guy trevor moore mem did you remember there was a site called are you up is anyone up is anyone up is this the most hated man on the internet well that's what the documentary's called on netflix oh right right right and he would like right in the wild while west days of the internet before the laws caught up with what was going on he would take photos of girls like anything crazy it was kind of like the first like 4chan or 8-chan don't you think it was a definitely a blog that people went to a lot and revenge porn he would comment revenge porn but then it it sort of escalated into sex with animals and crazy stuff with animals and there's a girl in it who's being interviewed it's i'm just laughing because it is ridiculous even the girl in the in the documentary she you know has a little look in her eye when she says it she's like hi i'm i'm butthole girl from butthole girl like she puts something in her butt oh and then he put the photo up and then she had kids so she's like can you please get it down and then he was this is the marine that took him down and then you know who else took him down anonymous oh i love anonymous but so that's his ex-girlfriend but um he said put a phone in your butt and i'm gonna call it and video yourself with a phone ringing in your butt how does she get a phone in her butt it's on there and then what kind of phone are we talking about like in nokia one it must
have been a flip yeah razer phone i had a little one back in the day that was like a candy bar phone yeah like a it feels like it's like a like a like a cricket wireless some of them are pretty small some of them i can imagine going in your butt yeah some of the early ones but it will because then he was like put your fist in your butt escalated escalated but your whole fist yeah it's not great it's not ideal but i don't how do you get back it's a great question people are flexible at least at least we know why this life is so big it might be a front way no that's not gonna work yeah that might be the only way here's the other thing this is something else that's nuts is he would tell his followers like punch yourself in the face like can he would dare his followers to do crazy stuff in film and then he'd put it on the site there's videos of people just like punching themselves in the face it's so hard to watch but what he had been doing was he was intercepting photos of girls guys the private photos from their emails posting it with their address their workplace and the kink for him it wasn't just like porn or sex it was like they were getting off on the fact that these people hadn't consented to posting it so like you can find plenty of people that want to have their stuff online only fans and whatever but like it was it's kind of an interesting it's worth watching some guy just got arrested um because he was running a porn site and he was like promising these girls that he was not gonna put it online and he filmed like a hundred girls having sex and promised them that he wasn't gonna put them online and put it all online i feel like i'm talking about somebody sent it to me it's one of my uh daily email updates so i definitely have it and then he put it on like a like pornhub or something yeah made money off of that something like that but were they just having sex with him just to make his fun sex tape i think he paid him uh i'm not exactly sure i'll tell you in a moment but uh it's it's you know but it's interesting because back then i was watching it as
you finding it i found an article on fox about it hold on but i remember the time that you um came up to me after a set at the store oh yeah porn site owner of course 100 women to film videos he said wouldn't be posted online yeah or would this be maybe like that back room couch guy i don't know that it is but those are a lot of people's favorites the ones that are couch ones they're like uh i've never done this before i had sex on a shitty couch no no no no shot backstage at flappers comedy like uh have you ever done porn no and then and then next thing you know they're blowing a guy on film what's with the stepbrother thing i'll tell you what that is please first of all it's the pandemic everybody had to get stuck inside and because everyone's stuck inside like say say if you and i were married and you had a a 17 year old son and i had a 17 year old daughter and we just got married and they're not related to each other and all sudden they're in the house together yep that's the the premise except this but this mask on really in their [ __ ] 20s and you know they're porno stars that's what it is like my dad told me that you're supposed to be my sister but you don't [ __ ] seem like my sister well you just helped me load this laundry into the [ __ ] dryer oh my god i'm stuck stuck porn's different i think i mean it's hard to get stuck in a dryer unless you're brad williams i was watching this girl get stuck under a bed i'm like [ __ ] you are not stuck i see all this air underneath your stomach you are pretending you're stuck you're trying to get [ __ ] your ass is straight up in the air i know what you're doing i'm not dumb that reminded me of um uh liam neeson under the bed for taken you know remember when he was under the bed giving the speech no i've taken like i have a very specific set of skills he was under the bed when he said that yeah also have you seen all the um uh pictures of liam neeson pissing himself no joe why is he pissing himself is hammered
is that what it is jamie it is uh it was brought to my attention on my podcast recently but i guess that um uh liam neeson there's many photos of him pissing like having pissed his it's shocking so he just pisses himself a lot i think he just gets drunk and pisses himself do you see him dude it's it's shocking why aren't you showing us i was trying to find a good version to show you there's so many i thought it was gonna be one or two there's so many it's it's unapologetic pants pissing a thread it's what dude it's wild because guys i know after you pee there's a little sometimes a little dot of pee no that's a lot of piss dude it's wild he just does this a lot he looks hammered every time though so how's he piss all over himself all the time is that his thing there's four pictures he's got a leaky dick if you go on like just images and do liam neeson pisses himself it's everywhere really brutal yeah fascinating isn't that how wouldn't you know when you feel it maybe he doesn't give a [ __ ] maybe it's pretty gangster maybe he's liam neeson he doesn't give a [ __ ] i mean it's oh jesus there's a lot of pictures of him with piss all over his dick it's and it's also like no one around him is okay we're protecting him protecting him or it could be some troll online that has taken all these photos of liam neeson and putting little pistons that's what i thought of at first but there's too many i think there's too many no there's not too many that's some [ __ ] guy on reddit is just like that's right dosing up these pictures so what's gonna happen in terms of that like is there ever gonna be evidence of photo evidence again or will you have to show metadata to prove that this photo hasn't been altered there's no way in in 10 years from now there's no way you're going to know whether or not that's a video of you there's no way i mean there's 100
like celebrity porn now that has not been shot with that actual celebrity that's that's already been done right we were talking about tom cruise earlier i'm sure you've seen the deep fake the guy with tom cruise that does tom cruise yes yes it's incredible yes i mean you cannot believe that's not really tom cruise and this is just the beginning i mean this is just what we're at now is this is just introductory uh technology what what it's going to be in a few years from now it will be cgi rendered and impossible to detect you'll you'll be able to watch celebrities do things that aren't even actually being done like right now you can take a girl and you could put a celebrity woman's face on that girl that girl would do porn and it looks like a celebrity is doing porn right but in the future you're going to be able to watch an artificial version of that person do everything commit murder uh you know [ __ ] yourself with a cross you're gonna there will be no person that has actually done it but that uncanny valley between like artificial cgi rendered images and what we know to be real images like the way your bo your mind can discern the difference that will be gone in 10 years but do you think that laws are going to catch up at some point in that it's going to become so illegal some dad is going to lose i mean this is where dads step in it's unmanageable but this is when when a bunch of dads go oh my daughter is doing porn she never did right some law is going to be password because right now if you leak a celebrity photo i mean the person that leaked i guess scarlett johansson is the person that retaliated he had he went to jail for eight years for just releasing a nude photo so i you know maybe if the punishment is severe enough people will be deterred from doing it i don't know who's the girl from hunger games some of her a bunch of stuff for lawrence yeah a bunch of her stuff got leaked right yeah people got in trouble yeah i mean as they should in the the interesting thing about it is it doesn't feel like it hurt her in any way because if you wouldn't admit you looked at it you're kind of the weirdo so it's like
no one will really look at it one thing if you do porn on purpose and it's another thing if you do something in the privacy of your own home and it gets leaked like this the kim kardashian dilemma cause like did she leak that or did that get leaked you know because if she was doing or whatever purpose sorry sorry we'll just call it liam neeson if she if she'd leaked it on purpose then it's like okay will you are you a porn star like what are you doing but if you get if it gets leaked like i can't believe this this is crazy like then you're a victim so it's okay you came up to me at the comedy store once and um i had done the bit about my nude my boob getting leaked remember that bit that i it's in my special yes i talked about my um i took uh uh i was on edibles in my bathtub one night like a [ __ ] idiot i can't do edibles joe i can't i can't i don't have the personality for him so i'm in the bathtub i'm so high that i'm like let me make an instagram story let me talk to my followers like i'm like hey guys hey are you ever in the bathtub isn't this crazy like just dumb right and then i get out and then um i uh go to like check it because i'm just so high you know when you post something you're like i want to see if it's going to get in the right algorithm or if i open it there's like 15 missed calls since my friends are like i had just videoed my tit like just a crazy person uploaded it on the instagram story like no and then i took it down and then like a couple months later before i had my that last special coming out on netflix i got an email where someone said um if you don't pay me 15 000 i'll sell this photo of your boobs to a tabloid and it was um a screen grab of that video like someone had screen grabbed it before i took it down you know and it was just it was more like for me like i'm making light of it like no one should be okay with this like i felt like in a weird way like oh maybe the universe like gave me this problem to talk about because i'm fine like of all the things of mine on
the internet that's the least embarrassing like i have i have a lot of you know sets from random shows that you know would be way more embarrassing some sets from the ice house way more people way more pornographic dude um and yeah i like i always say like to me the only thing that i was really embarrassed of in my cloud were all the screen grabs of inspirational quotes like that's the [ __ ] you have got to delete like when you go through your phone when a hacker has it you're like oh my god all these screen grabs of david goggins like this is embarrassing um and uh and so i didn't pay him i ended up just posting it myself and making a joke out of it and then bert posted his balls and it was just convenience we were able to make jokes about it you know and uh but i can see how it it didn't feel super violating to me because i think i kind of violate myself for a living a little bit you know as a performer it's just not something that i you know feel precious about and i don't have to worry about getting a job or getting into a school and someone googling me and seeing something that's going to ruin my reputation it's already ruined well it's not a big deal it's not a big deal yeah i mean it's certainly not a big deal to you what did i say to you oh you just said you're like that was really funny oh okay because i really want to make sure that it didn't feel preachy or luxury you know i just wanted to be funny but also go like this is a [ __ ] up thing now you're pretty self-aware of that you're not really a person that ever comes off as preachy or luxury you just you're you're real self-aware of not falling into that trap which is so important for some people but you know again i say it again because you've you have a podcast and because like anything that you want to talk about that's like a serious issue you're not under the constraints of being funny like when you take a serious issue and you want to discuss it on stage in a comedy club boy that's a project you know it can be done but also you could fall into this trap like lenny bruce did where in the
later stages of his life he was just reading off legal transcripts on stage because he had like important things that he needed to talk about he didn't have a podcast and i think there's also a way to do it you know that's look i just i get very simple about it i get i think sometimes the hardest thing is you know the smartest thing is to just get really simple and go like okay if i was going to a hardware store and i want to buy a hammer and they only had oranges i'd be like what the [ __ ] guys likes like someone's coming to a comedy club you're a comedian yeah you've you have promised them laughs you have promised them you're going to forget about your problems right i have promised you and you're paying me money for an hour of uncontrollable laughter right and if bringing up politics bringing up trump like you know it's just not conducive to unless you [ __ ] have it so honed unless they're prepared to see a political comedian whether it's mar whoever but like you better really make sure that you're not dividing people and upsetting people but even mar when mar delivers this political comedy it's always comedy always always it's always in comedy joke form the people that want to do that sort of ted talk type thing i mean it's one thing if you're doing it in a theater and people come to see you if you're like a hannah do a ted talk yeah do a ted talk dude even like hannah gatsby like that's not a ted talk she's doing but but they already know now she did her netflix special they know what kind of comedy she does that's great but at a comedy club if they don't know you or if you're one on a lineup and you want to do that that's nuts yeah i feel like you're doing a thing that's not supposed to be done in that place i just look and i know that there's a you know and i don't mean to bring gender into it because i don't see gender um i'm joking that's that was a joke um but uh i do have to tell you this la story in a second um but uh oh cause i am on um i got a rabies vaccine you did i'm on my third shot of a rabies vaccine why because iraq oh that's right oh you were telling me about that a raccoon so did the raccoon have rabies unclear the raccoon was hanging in a tree after it ran up my leg like it looked like it was sleeping maybe and
then it was walking very slowly which is like very out of character for raccoon behavior although i do think more and more people are gonna die from wild animals because they're watching instagram and tick tock and you can find any dangerous animal like snuggling up with a human like i definitely have seen videos of people like friends with raccoons they have a pet raccoon and i'm like yeah maybe raccoons are nice like stupid idiot and um it ran up on my leg the next day it's acting weird i call animal control and i'm like hey guys i think i have like a raccoon issue here this is classic california animal control she goes well it's probably just sleeping and i was like i was like okay i know but it's up it's like in a tree it just looks weird she goes um well yeah well that's where they live and i was like no i know that she's like well i'm not gonna remove an animal from its home i was like [ __ ] like this is like i'm gonna kill it if you don't come get it but okay and then she went okay well the problem is that a lot of people in la they are uh testing their cocaine for fentanyl and if it tests positive they're flushing it down the toilet so we're having a lot of cases of animals that we think are just on fentanyl what so the they flush it down the toilet and then it goes through into the water but how does it get to the animal the animal drinks the toilet water they seem to think this is a common thing i don't know if it's in the la river or in the la water supply it might be really dumb under educated people answering the phones that's probably true also yeah that's probably true also but a lot of people everyone that i've heard if they're gonna do cocaine which if you're testing your cocaine go call your dad get that get that apology you needed go like back to one like if you're like sitting around at a club like putting a strip in cocaine and being like all right guys we have to wait 20 minutes like you're like take a good hard look in the mirror yeah and then they wait and if it's positive
for fentanyl they're like well we can't do this well those are the last people that want to take a look in the mirror people doing coke yeah dude if you're still i know so many people now they're like i have to test my cocaine i'm like you're 48. like what are you two kids like it's tuesday like what are you doing do adderall like an adult there's a lot of people out here that do coke there's a lot of people out here that are like they they party sort of like extra hard because they don't feel legit they don't feel like they're connected to new york or l.a so they kind of have to like extra hard party out here there's wife swappers out here there's a lot of freaky [ __ ] going on out here you also got all those tech dorks back doors the tech dorks are everywhere nobody [ __ ] them for 34 years and they've got a shitload of money then maybe roll your jeans down guys and women will [ __ ] think they all the way up past their knees when they have that kind of money why are you wearing red wing work boots because it's hot you work in an app it's hard you know what else is wild to me i was talking about there was a guy on the plane next to me and he's in finance here in austin and i was like yeah the tech dorks are everywhere and he was like yeah the vibe of the tech dorks is hard to explain i was like there is an arrogance that's like we're better than you we're part of you know we're super progressive and we're like you know these future heroes we're doing all this tech but all you're doing is working a bunch of apps that like take people's data like you can't you know what i'm saying this whole thing that you think you're heroes but you don't even understand what your boss's goals are tick-tock has an office here do you we read the terms of service the other day me and theo to the front page of fox news i did see that i did see that the [ __ ] terms of service are insane well here's the other thing and i say this as someone that uses the aura band and the whoop bands but i'm like also like well that's like collecting our breaths in our sleep and you know i'm like 23andme
collected your dna but that i would argue you know they found serial killers with that like they're oh did they yeah they found the golden state killer isn't it that's how they found them so wasn't that pat and oswald's wife yes his wife had written a book about the golden state killer basically they couldn't find him he was at large his niece or something took a 23andme test having no idea and then they were able to go arrest him dna from genealogy site used to catch suspected golden state seller golden state killer joseph james d'angelo 72 former police officer was arrested on tuesday oh boy is that what 50 years later more than three decades after his trail went cold one of california's most prolific killers and rapists was caught using online genealogical sites to find a dna match prosecutors say investigators prepare compared the dna collected from a crime scene of the golden state killer to online genetic profiles and found a match a relative of the man police have identified as joseph james d'angelo because it's tricky because people would be like you can't do 23 and me they're going to take your data it's like i'd rather them have my email than serial killers be loose yeah you know yeah yeah definitely but the problem is like what are they gonna do with that data there's a thing that just came out recently that they're going to be able to target specific individuals for assassination by using a genetic weapon that is geared entirely towards your dna that's [ __ ] the day where yeah look at this the day where if you're allergic to peanuts or something and i can just walk by you on a plane and throw peanuts on your plate or something so what hold up that 23andme sold your genetic data to galaxo smith klein click on that what the [ __ ] so that's wild and glasgow smith klein is a pharmaceutical company that's the pharmaceutical company that got sued for re-equipped do you know the re-equipped story no re-equip was a drug i think it was for
parkinson's disease i think that's what it was for and this guy got on it and it rewired his [ __ ] brain so hard he became a gay sex and gambling junkie he was a married heterosexual man got on this stuff and all he wanted to do was suck [ __ ] and roll dice this is this is why it's crazy is because like this guy was like he was like meeting up with people he didn't even know and [ __ ] them he was like he total loss of impulse control and crazy desires to do gay stuff what's nuts about this like you're saying oh well god maybe it's just an excuse maybe the guy was gay and was ashamed and the drug released his inhibitions you know he was into ancient greek culture right he won in court they paid him the equivalent i think it was an irish court they paid him the equivalent of six hundred thousand dollars i was a french man parkinson's patient has been urged to stop not to stop taking their medication keep keep keep rolling the dice keep sucking those dicks because it emerged that a french man won a six-figure payout over a drug that turned him into a gay sex and gambling let me just hold on hold on there are some sorry for the pun there are some holes in this story um what like he was repelled by women's buttholes i don't know what happened it feels like dopamine and agonists such as reequip will develop some form of this distressing behavior which can range from compulsive gambling to binge eating and hypersexuality a gsk gsk spokesman said re-equip is a dopamine agonist used to treat patients with the chronic and progressive neurodegenerative condition parkinson's disease for which there is only a small number of treatments available it directly stimulates dopamine receptors in the brain and acts as a replacement for dopamine which is deficient in certain parts of the brain in patients with parkinson's disease pathological gambling and increased libido and hypersexuality have been reported in patients treated with dopamine medicines these reports are
uncommon when compared to the number of people treated with these medicines prescribing and patient information for re-equip provides information on compulsive behaviors so this guy whatever they had to pay him i i thought it was a lot more money than that they're saying it is uh 197 000 euros i i'm pretty sure i read that it was the the financial equivalent to 600 000 american dollars do you enjoy gambling no um i'm not a gambler uh i mean i i enjoy it a little bit when um we went out with you to vegas my wife and i did some gambling did you yeah but we just got bored we were just playing blackjack we both suck do you feel like there's any like like what is the skill like i dated a guy who's a poker player and like a lot of it is being able to just kind of read people and act you're kind of acting the whole time right if you're really playing ari's a really good poker player and ari used to actually when he was first becoming a comedian in la he would make his living by playing in poker tournaments cool and he made money like he would win poker tournaments and place and cash in poker tournaments it's a skill like you you have to know when to hold and when to fold and you you know to know what to do is based on you know theory it's based on the amount of people that have done it that have been successful there's many books on it and many online things on it but it's so it's a certain amount of it is based on intuition as well right being able to like re feel other people's yeah but like ari would go to like the bicycle club those places like belgium yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah generation high school's casino yeah i mean my friend used to go down there all the time really creative dude um produce uh my special with me nick cruzon and he's brilliant and he uh he would go down there and he was like i'm i don't know if i'm addicted to the game or the conversations because the people are so damn you're sitting with people that are just degeneres yeah yeah and it's three in the morning and it's like people have been in jail and they just everyone's a joey diaz like what's better than that i'm like i get that no degenerates are fun people they're
they're very fun the best it's just one of those things it's like it it does something to your brain that for some people you could just walk away but for other people they are [ __ ] hooked well i spent a lot of time in my early 20s in pool halls and i was around a lot of degenerate gamblers and i did some gambling but i was never like a degenerate i was always like i was gambling because it was exciting i'll play like a set for 100 bucks or something like that like a race to 10 for 100 bucks it's fun and you don't want to lose so it makes things more exciting but it was never like now i got a bet on the football game now i have to bet on this i saw guys betting money on droplets of rain that were making it down a window pane and they would pick each droplet they would pick a droplet and they would put money on it what's the biological basis for that because that is something i feel like we all kind of do thrills it's just thrills it's just thrills trying to predict trying to contribute it's like uh the same thing like when um i do that like when you leave a restaurant and you're with your friends and you just look at each other and just race like what is that what why did we do that it's so dumb well that's just being silly yeah there's no consequences there but like i know people like there's this guy a famous uh pool player his name is alex paguilen world-class pool player famously will win tournaments or win like a big match and then flip a coin for the money so he wins like he plays pool for hours and hours and hours days at a time he'll win ten thousand dollars twenty thousand dollars and then someone will say i'll flip you for the twenty and he's like okay let's do it and they flips and he calls heads and lands on tails he loses everything so everything that went into it was work and earned now i wanna defer to luck yeah there was a it was a real problem with pool players when they would have uh pool tournaments and casinos because these guys would win the money and they'd go straight to the casino and lose the money like they were just gambling addicts because a lot of pool
players the way they make money is they get a backer so like a backer would be like you you got some money and you say like hey let's gamble um i'll give you uh you know x amount of money and i'll go with you and you play somebody for the money so like you would put up the five thousand dollars then another person on the other side would put up the other the other five thousand dollars and you'd play and that's how a lot of pool players make money is gambling gambling is there's not a lot of money in professional pool so a lot of the pool players wind up being what you call a road player you know what i like about that is i am better at whatever i'm doing if i know someone else will lose something if i fail so like playing sports growing up it was always like i was very good at shooting free throws because it was always if you missed this free throw your whole team runs suicides that's interesting which is like when when i when it's just between me and me like that's fine but if i know you're gonna lose something i do very well with that kind of pressure knowing i'll disappoint someone or they'll have to suffer in some way if i fail that makes sense yeah that also makes sense considering your childhood you know that you like that having some like having the support of others is very important to you yes yeah having um chosen family and by support you know i think that as i get older you know as we all do i like redefining what friend means what family means but also like it doesn't mean everyday support i don't even talk to someone on the phone every day some of my closest friends i see them once a month and we text you know there's just i think it's more about feeling like there's people around me that share my reality that see the same things i see because we're in a place where it's like sometimes people that you love and trust and respect they're like brainwashed by something and you're like how where you know just people that share your reality which i think is is a being able to corroborate your reality because
i think when you grow up in a you know whether alcoholic home chaotic home everyone has you question your own sanity a lot because everyone tells you calm down you you're not seeing what you're seeing relax you're being dramatic you know the oh right right right the narcissists and the borderlines need to make you dramatic and overly sensitive in order to justify their behavior or exonerate themselves from guilt whatever it is so i think that's what we do on stage too we go out and we go like this is and everyone's like yes we agree we have that too we think that also you're right that's true you know so i think that feeling of like okay i'm not crazy i'm not crazy um i'm not imagining that uh is sort of a very um anesthesia anesthetic and how does that relate to gambling how did you get there it's a great question we got from having me on your show is always a gamble you wish [Laughter] you went to the support of others because i said that i get why the free throw would be so important for you to make because of the support of others the people financing the pool yeah the pool players like if i let someone down i'll i'll be back about it yeah but a lot of pool players are not like that unfortunately they're the opposite that's uh what it would be is like usually like some guy owns like a tire company or something like that and he wants a thrill and so takes some guy on the road with them and oftentimes they'll dump they'll make a deal like the pool player will make a deal with the other guy and say listen i'll lose you know you give me x amount of dollars and we'll split the money that way you don't have to worry about whether or not you're going to win or going to lose you're definitely going to win what's the most money you can make as a pool player well people have played pool for a million dollars one game no they usually play a set but yeah there's been a lot of poker players who uh play reasonably well like not like professional level and they'll get like
a giant handicap to play a pool player like a handicap would be like do you know what nine ball is you know how nine ball works nine ball is a rotational game it means like um you play one through nine you make the nine ball in and you win but say if you played and i played and you didn't play that good i could say i will give you the five out that means i have to run all the balls and i have to i have to make the nine ball to win but you can make the five ball to win the six ball to win the seven ball the win the eight ball the win or the nine ball so you have all these opportunities to win so all you have to do is make a ball on the break and get all the balls in up to the five ball and you win i have to make all the balls and the nine ball much much harder so that would be a way that you would get a poker player to play with you like say if i was a professional and i had some guy was a poker player and you know he wanted to gamble he's like make a fair game and i'd say okay i'll give you the five out and the breaks which means you get to break every game and you only have to make the five or the six the seven or the eight and the nine you know you can make any of them and you win like you have all these winning balls where i only had one winning ball my ball is the nine ball you know what i mean giant advantage what i had not played before and i was tim dillon um rented a place in malibu and we went out there and there was a giant chess game like it was more sort of for decoration like huge like the size of this table a big with chess pieces this big and we played chess it was so fun chess is fun yeah it was like 45 minutes past and it had been like it was five minutes and i am currently trying to take on new hobbies because chess is unique well no i'm just like auditioning new hobbies instead of the [ __ ] just scrolling the [ __ ] screen all day and just you know getting dumber and by the minute just things that are mind challenging but fun and chess is right up there well the great one of the great things about chess is there's a lot of programs you can play on your phone where it'll tell you what the right move is so you could ask it what the right
move is or you could just try it like it'll it'll give you like there's learning and tutorial modes and you can you can try different moves and strategies but chess is insanely and infinitely complex it's it really i think also you know i think it's important to know your mind i know that sounds a little crazy but don't spend too much time in it but know it like know what depletes you know what energizes you know if you're a reckless person know if you're the kind of person that um you know chickens out at the last minute or questions yourself whatever it is you know and it helped me sort of illuminate a couple things about my own brain i was like oh i didn't trust my gut on that i overthought it have you seen the queen's gambit no i'm dying to see it it's a great show and it's actually a show that was written the original book was written by walter tevis walter tevis is the guy who wrote the hustler which is that famous movie with jackie gleason and paul newman about a pool hustler so he's been writing about like people that are awesome at games what was the other chess movie fisher bobby fischer yeah searching for bobby fischer yeah are there i was thinking about this last night when i was watching top gun is are there certain video games that make you better in real life at things at this point so yeah yeah for sure yeah like chess pool is there one like you could actually practice on a video game or practice on a phone and that translates to skill in real life no not like physical games like pool no maybe chess i think chess does but because chess in physical form like moving pieces is no different than chess with a video game yeah it's the same thing it's just moving the piece yeah you're just learning to play things yeah yeah you're just trying you're just learning how the pieces move and i mean i'm sure there's intimidation but being across the play like if you were really good and i was playing you i'd be intimidated maybe i'd [ __ ] up because i'd be nervous
but pool is a game of execution that's why it's so intriguing to me right because it's not just it's not just a game of knowing what to do it's a game of being able to control your nerves that's what i love that's why i love archery and bow hunting that's why i love martial arts i love when the [ __ ] goes down yep that's what i like i like when [ __ ] gets crazy i like when people get nervous that's where i excel i excel where people get panicky i enjoy those things i enjoy a little chaos and can i ask you a question do you think that's nature nurture or a healthy addiction well it's definitely some kind of an addiction for me um it's but it's also a medication it's like that is how i work out problems in uh like to to be able to do that in real life is like if you have like problems like pool problems or archery problems like there's a lot of tension a lot of nerves like what do you do you're robbing banks where are you getting those thrills from like so for me i get my thrills out of doing things that are just difficult and uh like things that require execution like a pool game or archery in particular is one of the best because especially on like a long shot you can't [ __ ] anything up like all of your technique has to be perfect you have to be relaxed you have to control your breath and then when you release the the shot when the arrow goes just any little twitch any little any little thing that you do with your hand might make it shoot three feet to the left four feet to the right like you can you could just you could just you could twitch your arm and you're missed by seven inches but if you keep it clear keep your mind clear keep your breath in control keep your technique perfect when that arrow releases and finds its way right into the center of the target it's one of the most satisfying things in life it's kind of like i know it's not but it is like upper body ballet in a way because it's like it's like i was because i had that bit in the special about ballerinas and i like make fun of ballet and i've been getting all
these messages from ballerinas and i like i obviously respect the art form but it is like they they have to be so strong that they don't even shake right you know it's just like a level of strength that is like otherworldly you know incredible composure physical composure and then are you do i have tricky shoulders and i've started trick your shoulders are they tricky name my next special um they just are like i broke my right one and um i just i've been doing this stretch is this good for you bad for you that like it's good for you yes a couple times because don't if you're gonna do archer you don't have to really take care of your shoulders sure i feel like we really ignore our shoulders i i definitely don't ignore my shoulders i do a lot of shoulder work yeah i do a lot of club bells you know what club bells are it's like an iron club and i do what called shield casting where i put the clubs in front of me and i go like this so i'm controlling like this generally they're about they're not heavy they're like 15 pounds or maybe 25 pounds i'll use and um it's like the weight is all on the end so it's like this kind of balancing thing i'm doing and i'm swinging it around like this and then putting in front so it's all of this controlled movement and then i'll do there it goes right there club bell actually see if you can find a video i would not even have let's even find a video of someone doing club bells there's uh a bunch of videos that on it put out that are really excellent you know we have our own club bells it on it but so there you go there's the honest that's my boy john wolfe and so you could see him doing a bunch of different exercises but for archery in particular um the club bell is a really good uh tool for exercise because it see like what he's doing there like keeping your shoulders straight like that is you want you don't you want strength in this position so if you're shooting especially like you're you're the arm that's holding the bow you want you don't want it to be fatiguing and dropping and then you're struggling and
it's shaking you want you want real strength and then you want to be able to relax because you don't want to tense your shoulder up one of the things about archery is any tension that you have could result in a twitch one way or another and any kind of little twitch when you're shooting at 95 yards i practice at 95 yards so when i'm shooting it i don't wouldn't shoot an animal at 95 yards but that's what i practiced that so if i see an animal at 40 yards it's a slam dunk and when you're doing that you actually want your shoulder to be relaxed like before i shoot like if it's an important shot i go like this i let all my tension out and then i'll draw back and then once i'm at full draw i relax my shoulder i relax but i have enough strength that i can hold it in this position and it's easy so i can i don't have any tension in my shoulder this is probably a very stupid question are you allowed to just walk around with a bow like get in the street yeah like if you were just walking down went to the proper hotel the cops would probably pull you over you can't it's a weapon it depends on what you have in the bow if you just have a bow yeah it's not going to do anything without an arrow you'd have to have arrows but if you had a bow and an arrow but it was like halloween and i'd like if i don't know how to use it it's not a weapon i guess i think halloween you can get away with it yeah i think it's probably a gray area but um it would depend on whether or not you had an arrow and whether or not the arrow was knocked meaning it's on the string the arrow is on the string all you have to do is pull it back and release it and you can shoot somebody and do you put something on the tip of the arrow or did i make that up yes it's called a broadhead no but i mean like poison or something no no no no no but but indigenous cultures did that right yeah no they still do oh wow yeah the there's people in south america and that's one of the ways that they hunt monkeys they uh use a neurotoxin they use some sort of poison on the tip of their arrows
and uh that's how they get a lot of their animals speaking of i was tim dillon again uh i did a show up in the hamptons and uh tim got a place there and i got a tick on my [ __ ] ticks are bad okay so why are we all just fine with this it was i had because in virginia west virginia where i grew up you pull the tick off you burn it you bite the head off you get rid of the head it's fine i got a tick on me in the hamptons and i just like sent a picture to someone or put on instagram or something and i was like laughing about it everyone was like you need to get the tick put it in a bag yeah lyme disease i had to go on doxycycline 200 milligrams for three weeks oh so it was infected with lyme disease they were like you have to take this regardless you should regardless it's that bad lyme disease is so bad it's so bad and it's so it it can become chronic and haunt you for the rest of your life and you have a very small window of opportunity to take care of it right after you get bit so i thought lyme disease was just for celebrities to post about when their movies were bombing you know when you're like a celebrity like i have lyme disease you're like okay okay like we get it you go to the hamptons like i just didn't know anyone and now that i went through it people are like oh yeah for greg fitzsimmons his i think mom was on a drip of antibiotics for like 10 years like it's and people like it uh destroys your brain and your neurological problems and then of course my comedian brain is like wait a second like all the most powerful rich people in the world vacation in the hamptons like is there a case to be made that they all have neurological damage well the kind of neurological you damage that you get from lyme disease is very scary because uh lyme disease is actually um connected to uh what is it called meniere's disease what is that disease what is that called um is that what is called not great we talked about it before no what is it called
there's a disease where people think that they have fibers growing out of their skin and they they lose their mind more jealous that's it more jealous so um i one of the episodes of joe rogan questions everything that old sci-fi show that i had one of the episodes of that we dealt with more jealous because a lot of people think more jones is [ __ ] that's not a disease at all that it's fake it's like some sort of uh you know some neurological disorder like people believe that they have fibers growing out of them but it's really like carpet fibers that they light around on and they scratch themselves well it turns out that most of the people well i went to a more jealous convention of people that were more jealous sufferers and one of the people there was a doctor and the doctor said that one of the things that's interesting about morgellons is that most of the people who have it also have lyme disease and that lyme disease has a neurotoxic element to it that he believes is causing people to hallucinate and so like he'll look in the mirror and he'll see like a worm crawling across the surface of his eye or he'll see something on his skin it's not there and he'll start clawing at it and he said so he believes even and he's a more jealous sufferer and a lyme disease sufferer and he thinks that the two of them are connected he said because lyme disease by itself it's not as simple as you know like oh it's you know it's copper or it's uh you know lead it's a thing that you can know what it is you isolate it he's like no when you when a when a tick bites you he goes there's the stuff that we could recognize but there's a host of other pathogens that come along with that and go for a ride and if you test positive for lyme disease you might have multiple toxic elements from this tick in your bloodstream that are [ __ ] with everything causing massive inflammation and brain fog and constant pain that comes from it arthritis arthritis is exacerbated yep yep yep is is that it's just wild to me that it's just accepted that people bring their kids to the hamptons and they just get it's not just the hamptons it's all over the connecticut jersey oh wow everywhere yeah it started in lime i think was
recognized first in lime connecticut that's why it's called lyme disease that makes sense and is it because in virginia we never i mean maybe we just all just got it no one gave a [ __ ] but it was never thought of ticks were just you pulled him off and that was it right that's how it was when we were kids it was uh there's some wacky theory some conspiracy theory that it was some sort of a bio weapon that accidentally got released or some experimental biological warfare agent that got released that was like a big theory about uh i think we've researched that on the podcast as much as we actually research things duck duck go jamie yeah and uh we found something about it but it was like unclear that's just i'm just fascinated you know i was obsessed with the longest time about the hookworm epidemic in the south and just and that is wild wild tell people that don't know then have never heard us talk about that because it's so [ __ ] crazy it's so crazy because i think i i always like to look for excuses for people's bad behavior i think it's something that my brain likes to do to just feel better or you know forgive people or give them a pass or maybe just comedian brain trying to look at the other thing but in the early 1900s the hookworm epidemic in the south was so brutal jamie please debunk whatever i'm saying if it's incorrect and people went around with bare feet and hook worms went into their feet and it they eat your brain so there was the stereotype that southerners were dumb they were slow they actually just were infected with hookworms yeah was it rockefeller that set up the program to develop a inoculation against or some kind of treatment i don't remember but just the stereotype that southerners are dumb really comes out of hookworm infections i mean it was an extraordinary number of people that were infected with hookworms up until like you know the 20th century yeah it was rockefeller rockefeller sanitary commission for the education eradication of hookworm disease yeah so in 1909 rockefeller donated 1 million dollars which is like probably 100
million today what was the percentage of people that were infected with hookworms i want to say it was somewhere over 40 that's insane yeah it was really nuts insane so that drives me kind of nuts when people are shitty about southerners like they're slow well that's where it came from that's where it comes yeah most people don't know but that's really hookworms once sapped the american south of its health yet very few realize they continue to affect millions okay i can't move forward with that information they're still around yeah have you ever had a have you ever had a ring worm yeah i've had runway was it do you know what it was from jiu jitsu oh yeah yeah i've had ring worm staff i've had both those things because when i had the tick bite everyone kept asking does it have a circle around it right which is what happens with ticks it develops looks like a target where you have like the the [ __ ] which is very dangerous [Music] [Laughter] can i tell you watching top gun i mean my nipples were hard my eyes were wet it was i just i don't know i have family that was you know served and it felt like a love letter to the military the military well i'm down for that it was kind of a love letter to male friendship which it kind of was a love story between two men in a way you know so we were talking before the podcast started about val kilmer and someone said that val kilmer was a christian scientist is that real kilmer looks like me in a couple years no will you please start will you please pull up a picture of me can we just he he looks like uh like texas chainsaw massacre when the guy put the face on remember always wearing other people's skin yes it looks good there well explains why he got chemo for his cancer despite it being against his religious beliefs okay so yeah so what is his religious belief christian science faith god damn it he's only 60. god damn it he does not look
right he looks 60 and tom cruise is 60. tom cruise looks like he's [ __ ] younger than me that little [ __ ] yeah that meanwhile he's right do you know that tom cruise was correct about [ __ ] when he was on matt lauer and he's like matt you're being glib it's not about there's there's no chemical imbalance the these psychiatric medications they're giving people are dangerous he was [ __ ] correct yeah but also i think we could all agree matt lauer's glib all the time even he always was glad he was gluten can you pull up uh uh val kilmer in the movie yeah i mean it's i feel like yeah that scientology thing is all about like no psych i mean john travolta has a kid sorry this is gonna get me so in trouble fine whatever um who's dead because they wouldn't give him seizure medication right no well that's different than scientologists is different than what you're talking about val kilmer is christian scientist oh right christian scientists they don't believe in like any kind of medical treatment they're like jesus gonna take care of everything yeah yeah yeah i don't know how a guy as [ __ ] talented and smart as val kilmer got sucked into that [ __ ] but before he got chemo and had his cancer treated you know he was not doing anything because of his religious belief him in [ __ ] tombstone to this day that is one of my favorite ever performances willow him in the cage in willow i never watched willow what willow grown man back in the day okay jamie is willow a girl movie not at all it's a bunch of guys fighting midgets fairies i was a kid i thought they were fairies no no no no it's not like it's um it's like uh it's tom cruise and william medieval no it's like the dingo ho baby right yeah like this little guy look at him right there the guy from oh i definitely never saw that princess bride remember for a while that that dwarf for a while and andre the giant were in every movie really like hollywood was just like we want the giant and the little guy i must have taken time off the movies they're bringing this back too by the way they're bringing willow
back starring who's playing him same guy peter dinklage work davis is his name this guy okay sure so but i i wanted to saw willow that's weird yeah maybe it's not a but i saw a tombstone about 30 times have you seen labyrinth i think i did back in the day because jennifer connelly is in top gun and she is giving big big like hotness energy hotness was she not like a a crush of yours no not a mine who was your like when you were like a teenager who was your like madonna oh what phase was she in the material girl phase i think no the like a virgin phase well it was because she was married look at that that's jennifer collins yes was she 12 she was that's creepy literally 16 and he was like really yeah wow but i mean it was a different david bowie i loved it that was like my the first time i felt any sexual feelings was when i watched this movie because david bowie click on that troll picture what is that thing oh that's ludo my new dog is named ludo after him really he's the uh he calls the rocks these are all the family that i don't remember this movie at all oh dude smoke a joint and watch labyrinth dude i got other things to do it's so good dude the goblin can yeah it's it's watch it like ask duncan i have been hearing very disturbing reports about the new uh game of thrones that they're going woke the spin-off i hear there's a lot of wokeness before they're like may i rape you may i do may i rip this corset off i mean maybe i've read about it online from people that are just click baiting i'm nervous about it i'm nervous about the new jro tolkien too okay they're doing a thing for amazon i'm i just think any big production now it's like wokeness has permeated so deeply into the ethos of hollywood i can't imagine they would do something like the 2011 version of game of thrones which is like pretty wild you know what i think i think that i think they're smart enough to to just tell a great story what the [ __ ] did you just say you don't think the game of thrones guys i don't think it matters i think if if the television producers and executives have
any [ __ ] say in which they will and then the actors have any say which which they will they'll [ __ ] it up i think it's like comedy movies like when was the last time you saw a good wild like tropic thunder oh yeah yeah that can't make them anymore yeah that is very hard to get done although i feel like did anyone see uh the eric andre movie with tiffany haddish in it no it was more like a prank movie it was like like jackass is what i would say it was the last really laugh out loud but that's not a scripted yeah what i'm talking about is like scripted movies like you can't they don't make them anymore but i also think that that has changed for a litany of reasons like it used to be you'd have like three or four comedy movies come out a year and you'd hear all these like killer jokes now but in one day you see more funny memes funny tweets than 10 years ago you would ever see you know so by the time a movie comes out it takes eight months by the time you write it shoot it film it like all those jokes eight months ago are gonna everyone will have got with them already on the internet oh i don't know about that i don't think that's true because if you watch tropic thunder today it's [ __ ] hilarious yes yes it's like what i'm saying is the genre of wild funny movies has been killed by wokeness was the last one hanging the hangover probably yeah i mean probably and i think that there's a you know i i feel like there's just so much guilt and fear in hollywood and it's funny because people because hollywood creepy i'm like you mean the business that was built on the back of a five-year-old named shirley tumble have you watched shirley temple movies lately no of course not but i went back to the pandemic and i watched him like she's five she's like in like her like she's okay little sailor boy like it's wild dude there's a video called baby burlesque and it's her in like diapers topless i mean she's a kid you know and two boys and they're like doing like little like dances in a saloon like they're have you seen charlie templin blackface no we all owe her an apology this is a baby in black like it's wild there's so many crazy things that happen and now i feel like
hollywood is just over correcting trying to be like yeah we didn't you know well they don't even remember that i just feel like in general everyone's just trying to go like i think okay this is the hot take i think the people that should make those what i think all the guys that were canceled that's really temporary oh my god dude it is up to the water line on her eyes 1935 oh my god the littlest rebel so did she was she playing a little black girl i think she was playing someone that was looks like stop scrolling miss temple even briefly donned blackface herself in the littlest rebel shirley temple dances with two men in blackface while other actors also in blackface look on wow everybody has it that's brutal can you look up good ship lollipop this is that hold on stop put that picture back that picture is [ __ ] wild look at that audience that is crazy and what years is 35 oh my god horrifying it's so wild yeah horrifying look at the gloves and everything like she's so strong why was she a movie star who looked right who looked at a five-year-old and was like you really got what it takes right why did they choose a a child to be a movie star bill bilbo jangles robinson and shirley temple in the littlest colonel 1935 in the famous staircase dance scene what the [ __ ] man show let's let's watch a clip because i i am not familiar with shirley temple movies i do deep dives on this because it's this weird thing nobody talks about she was famous at five and every movie she's in there's no mom there's no it's just her entertaining a bunch of men like at war or on a boat that's the that's wait baby brothers are babies baby boy baby burlesque let's see war babies give me some volume on this jesus christ 1932 her first speaking role [Music] look at those babies this is so strange why is her
head half off her shoulder yeah he's winking at her yeah she's dancing with a diaper on probably it says speaking role wait what's that in the background it looked like a like a crop wasn't pushing her towards one direction yeah they prodded her yeah it's like a get over that [ __ ] cattle prod yeah that is what it is look is that what it is yes yes that's exactly what it is it's someone with a stick don't get over there cajole oh she's wearing a diaper when this is a tiny little kid why are we looking at her butt why why is it even hit facing the camera oh someone's pissing in this baby's mouth that is milk that looks that's crazy that's like on the knees doggy style yeah this is wild the other kid just had clothes all night does it oh what is that but they paid him on and then he takes his clothes off yeah look and everyone's watching him dance maybe she talks here what the [ __ ] watch watch oh that boy is sad watch no she hugged the other boy oh so he steals from her lollipop look he's kissing she's kissing him watch she's such a dumb [ __ ] all she needs is sugar and i'll kiss you yeah yeah and he hugs her that was easy what's he doing what is he sucking why is he sucking jesus what is happening here that he's sucking on the finger of a glove and it's hanging epstein productions oh that looked like a real fall oh that was a real fall no one cared no one cared that kid got caught up by that glass [Music] what what was shirley temple's last days of life like how depressing was that because she was famous when she was young and she was not famous at all look at her kissing a boy while she's hugging another boy he just said you'd be good till i get back how old is she here what five she's a floozy look she is she kissed that boy and he snuck away women were all [ __ ] back then that's what they're trying to say can you look
at good ship lollipop it's this is the one that because it's a lot of her at war with men and i don't know who her parents are right this one's wild because at the end they give her a lollipop and it hits your ear this is the candyland hour for all good children the orchestra will play our theme song you know that song don't you sure i do well then her dress have to be that short yeah it's so short you're on a plane this is our entertainment throwing away my toys [Music] someday i'm going to fly i'll be a pilot too and when i do how would you like to be my crew [Music] not a woman [Music] oh no and it watch when she sits on a man's lap [Music] [Applause] is that supposed to be a plane and why is it so low what is going on in the background she's always like the only girl on a plane or a ship but what is that supposed to be is it supposed to be a train it looks like a train it must be right you've got to watch the end of it [Music] [Music] what the [ __ ] why on the go [Music] and she even pulled her why do we have to do a [ __ ] shot on shirley temple was that coke or a gum shot okay it was like a nose they did a lot of coke back then it could be that [Music] cleveland steamer on shirley temple i don't like it and another one too much does his hand need to be there oh my goodness and she's cause she's sick [Music]
she's gonna get tired she's sugar crashing yeah [Music] [Music] [Applause] imagine grown men being remotely interested in this everyone in this video should go to jail probably all dead but what a strange this someone because they scared her she's a child though boy what they thought was entertaining back then is so now see if you can find shirley temple in her later years yeah find a video of shirley temple on like the carson show or some [ __ ] when she was 80. she people say she was like oddly normal but i think she took a lot of time off i did i thought you're going to say prozac oh probably probably a lot of something valium i was uh i was re-watching this hedy lamarr documentary are you a heidi lamar she the reason i sort of got into her is mitzi shore used to call me hedy lamarr oh really so when i do you know hedy lamarr um invented wi-fi crazy yeah but she was in my uh act yes yeah your last hour yeah yeah the cat with the vegan investors yeah yes and um is that shirley temple let me hear and um but i'm pleased with this one all your own you know you didn't collaborate with anyone no no ghost and very candid open was that hard yeah it's embarrassing some of the things are kind of embarrassing but uh if you do an autobiography you have to tell it like it was there have been about 12 biographies written about me and one of them who kind of a recent one i'm told has 526 factual errors so the main thing i wanted a main reason i wanted to write i just never know i did not apply the black face myself leave it for my family justin trudeau helped me see
like when we showed the opening yeah the little shirley temple there how do you look at that i was there i remember it you remember oh yeah vividly we don't remember when we were five years old larry i remember when i was 10 months old okay we lost her yeah we lost her so close and she was the most is that the oldest version of her that you can get there's one other video i said said her last interview she's on the red carpet what is that look at why is she holding that man she's holding that man's face what's the uh other one the last interview on the route click on hey oh i love each other oh my god okay okay that you just made my night good you just made my night because you know what we love you you know what it's cold down here it is a little i'm getting a little goose bumpy i guess you were smart because you have the jacket i have a jacket yep it's beautiful thank you very much great small talk guys jesus how old was she when she died tonight she is dead right yeah something another video i hear says 0 to 77 years old so yeah so she died when she was 76 2014 just after oh wow cause i know betty paige just when she she didn't want anyone to take photos of her after she was like 30 or something and she's there's nothing you can't find anything of her after that right and then i looked up teddy lamar because hedy lamarr in addition to all the stuff you talked about i'm sure you know she experimented with plastic surgery on herself like she would talk to doctors and be like well if you put this in here so oh no yeah so there's some videos and photos of her later do you know that's leah lamar's like grandchild or some [ __ ] are you serious yeah leah lamarr is related to hedy lamarr she came up to me and talked to me about it um because she had heard my bit about hedy lamarr inventing wi-fi i was with her three nights ago at the outdoor show in la and someone said you bring up leah lamar and i was like wait a second it's two hours like there's no way she's
right related to hedy she's related to hedy yeah that's crazy and honestly i see it yeah she's got that beautiful like uh porcelain skin oh yeah wow you totally could see it now now find leah lamar yeah she's really funny yeah but um that's so interesting bam i mean i see it yeah i definitely see it i she doesn't talk about it in her act or at least i haven't seen her talk about it there's no comparisons are there yeah there's one well no that's pretty nut it's her i'm sorry her niece did you say i don't remember i wish i could remember but she's 100 related to hedy lamarr that's bonkers yeah well there's not a ton of money because she didn't get any credit for the what she invented she got robbed it was only one of multiple um inventions from hedy lamarr lamar was brilliant she had something in flight as well right she helped you let's find out what hedy lamarr's invented controlled torpedoes yeah yeah wow traffic stop light and a tablet that would dissolve in water to create a carbonated drink jesus wow it says she's a smart lady and then she's also arrested for shoplifting in 1955 lamar is arrested in los angeles for shoplifting the charges were eventually dropped maybe she was like um winona ryder just doing it for thrills she was arrested the same charge in florida this time for stealing 21 and 48 cents worth of laxatives and eye drops oh she might be maybe she was like i've been robbed so much because i invented the internet and i'm broke i deserve these eye drops but by this time so we're talking about this is the 90s she's probably really poor yeah of course yeah oh yeah calling hedy lamarr was released in 2004 there was another one that was more recent um that talked about her contributions to plastic surgery like she would sit down with plastic surgeons and they would try it out on her so why don't you google hedy lamarr plastic surgery uh-oh 3.3 million so she did have money that was left hmm uh that was interesting lamar that's so fascinating um that is so fascinating and then in terms
of i was thinking about um in top gun last night do you enjoy flying do you ever want to fly planes no okay either i mean i would i mean the problem is i would get into it with me anything that i do i i go i don't have the time for that yeah you know i don't i have to be careful because you're 100 it'll be all consuming or it'll be yeah it's like it's a good thing if you harness it like whatever i have whatever [ __ ] mental illness i have is very good if i can harness it but i have to be aware of it i can't just like just go around playing golf i can't i can't do that i can't play i can't even play chess i can't casually play things so there she was oh shoot i mean something weird was going on i think we haven't seen and someone aged naturally and so long we don't even know what it looks like right i think we have what is all botox stuff we don't even know about fillers we don't have a point of reference anymore i don't even think we would know what normal looks like at this point that's really fascinating um but yeah because i know bill burr bill got really into flying helicopters oh yeah yeah he took me up we flew around um around downtown l.a what's crazy about helicopters is you could kind of fly wherever you want that you know it's like going in the ocean and swimming it's not like you know if you're on a road there's very specific roads like here's the 405 this is the 10 you got to go this way or that way when you're on a helicopter you go wherever the [ __ ] you want so we were flying around downtown l.a so you just took me out were flying like you know 50 yards away from buildings and [ __ ] just flying around and one of the things that was wild about is like you realize how many of these buildings have like a landing spot on the top of the building yeah yeah i guess that's probably for emergency vehicles no for helicopters oh yeah if there's like a some baller he's like i want to fly in on a [ __ ] helicopter and land on my building and he lands on us i don't know where that
guy is this is what i was going to say this is how we get good movies some good movies okay this is [ __ ] up we get all the cancelled guys oh tony has a bid on this oh does he and they need to make a super movie yeah i i don't want to do it okay it but it's tony's got a really funny bit about it a lot of talented people are on the bench and their penance should be they have to start making movies again for us and the money goes to whatever cause yeah because it's like brett ratner harvey weinstein rum palance roman poland how good were his movies what was roman polanski's finest movies he was in some kind of whack movie with johnny depp i don't remember i don't need to fight for roman but i don't remember a movie that like moved me wasn't he in rosemary's but didn't he direct rosemary's baby that could be true roman polanski imdb okay yeah frantic with harrison ford which is really weird cause it was an underage girl oh he directed chinatown oh okay that's a great movie yeah he did rosemary's baby click more oliver twist like i don't need that in mind the pianist that's right that's an amazing movie rush hour what what he might have produced it he might have produced it they might not have just been directed once upon a time in hollywood i think it's because he's associated because oh oh yeah yeah kid stays in the picture it would have been just for an interview yeah macbeth huh so is chinatown chinatown jack nicholson rosemary's baby was giant too it's pretty big it's a pretty big movie yeah it's um they just remade it it was not um successful the new rosemary's baby yeah i think that yeah they're trying to like remake a lot of movies and um yeah it's bizarre but um yeah i don't like in woody allen i'm the same with it i'm like i don't know i don't i don't i didn't i didn't love his movies i know everyone else i love danny hall and then i was kind of like this feels like the same
movie yeah it kind of feels like an excuse for you to go to europe with penelope cruz and scarlett johansson like this isn't there's no story here well you know his movies were there they're an extension of his personnel which is also like a stand-up if you go listen to a stand-up it's kind of it's okay it's kind of funny it's okay it's kind of funny but it's also if you watched his movies in 1970 they would be brilliant i mean they weren't movies were different then yeah you know the the culture was different then people were different then our perceptions of things were different then if you watch those movies today they're like yes okay you know i don't enjoy watching men be neurotic it makes me sick yeah well that's like it's so hard i'm so scared of everything you're a strong woman and you don't like neurotic men yeah but there's like there's a certain type of guy that sort of uh wears that jewish neurosis like a badge of honor but what i really don't like about it is that i feel like you're trying to make yourself seem innocuous because then you're gonna do shady [ __ ] like look at me i'm so harmless i'm afraid of spiders and lobsters like there's no way that i would be dating my stepdaughter like who me it doesn't it feels like you're trying to get ahead of something well in his case duh yeah yeah i just like yuck yeah like i just i never fell under that spell of like woody allen is the greatest to ever do anything but it's also one of the things that happens is a guy becomes established as being a great person and then that becomes the narrative like he's great he's his movies are great oh it's a whitney alley move woody's amazing he's amazing this is what i don't like i don't like if i disagree with you i'm dumb right you know i'm saying if i'm like oh i didn't feel that way like i must be there's because i think a lot of people start to you know put something on a pedestal is like the paragon of great and then it just becomes this cult thing of like if you disagree you're dumb i remember
like when i first watched a couple david lynch movies i was like i liked like i hadn't really gotten in deep enough but i found that if you say like i didn't really get that people like oh i'm like did you you explained to me what you got right and it falls apart very quickly like well it's just genius it's just it's meta like it's just and i'm like well there's a lot of people yeah like when someone becomes genius that you're not allowed to critique it yeah it becomes a thing or can i just say i don't get it can you explain it to me and then they can't and they get they just think you're dumb i'm like well you can't explain it either i've been guilty of that too though because like coen brothers movies i'm a giant fan of the coen brothers movies and i've talked to people that don't like the big lebowski and i'm like well you can eat [ __ ] well that's a that's a sick person yeah right see what i'm saying yeah you're sick we're both hypocrites yeah but it's more like it's i think no country for old man is more the this is gonna get me in such hot water because you're the guy that i'm dating it's his favorite it is i find men it's it's um no country for all men field of dreams rudy like there's a couple movies you just as a woman you just can't you're not allowed to touch because they're just impo so important to men in a way that maybe i just wouldn't understand what no country for old men i'm not sure i even understand the movie like it's so compelling i love watching it but my guy it's like his like we can't even talk about it he gets so angry if i don't even i'm like but why why did he have to have that haircut like i just have questions like part of the [ __ ] the greatness of that movie is his haircut is so goofy and he's so [ __ ] terrifying yes it's just like it's so the choices are so wild that um another harvey weinstein producer yes the harvard weinstein joint but the coen brothers are what year was that movie 2007. remember he would kill people with what was it it was a cattle um thing that they stunner drive through cows brains and then tommy if tommy lee jones is in
a movie i've learned to not make fun of it to a guy really if tommy lee jones is in it it's probably like a special movie oh he was in some horseshit movies that's true tommy lee jones is in some like goofy movie where he was an assassin and someone else was an assassin he's got to have a fist fight it's like he does the best when he's the older cop you know what i mean the sensible guy that seen it all he was like oh [ __ ] like yeah oh [ __ ] the fugitive remember the fugitive great movie he was like just chasing uh he does well when he's chasing someone but he's not in a rush have you watched uh the old man the jeff bridges new series no it's really good in the beginning but then when i'm getting to like the last episode i'm like you guys are a little bit there's a little too much talking going on here it's a little too involved and they're trying to work the script out through explaining things like people talking and explaining things like exposition yeah i'm like hey hey yeah yeah yeah that was go back to the editing room that's we get it yeah let's give another round that feels like a network note that's what happens when networks get involved like well we need to explain what's happening so the audience isn't confused the thing is in the beginning there's none of that the the what's really compelling about the beginning of the show is that there's very little of that and then you're trying to figure out what the [ __ ] is happening and then you realize oh my god this guy is a killer for the cia that has been on the run for all these years and you figure it out while the show's going on and now he's you know this old guy i think that's good let the audience catch up yes they somewhere along the line they decided to start explaining things it's just it got to this point where you're like this is like it's too forced or like it's like you feel like yeah i don't no one talks like that no one is like hey so ever since you've been
divorced i know things have been crazy right you're just like what exactly you know like god i haven't seen you in a couple years how you doing how are you doing post-divorce i hate when i i really like something and then it loses me towards the end i'm like oh i know we came so far together like yeah and now i'm on episode six and i'm like what that's so disappointing it's also there's like too many cut to [ __ ] scenes by the time i'm like how is this guy just roaming around like this is 2022 they would have got him like this is do you for you to tell me this 23andme it's not just that it's like he didn't change his looks like like the whole thing is crazy if you wanted to go off the grid right now like fake your own death whatever and disappear is it how long could you do it if you had no phone could you do it yeah i could do it go awol yeah yeah but i would need to go to the mountains and i would need equipment to for the rest of your life or you're going to take cash with you and then just go in and well it depends on where you want to go okay you can go to alaska and you there's there's [ __ ] in alaska right now that are off the grid forever uh-huh and if you but the thing is like you're gonna need bullets yeah like if you're gonna shoot caribou and that's where you're gonna get your food you're gonna need gas probably well you don't need gas if you can go to a place where you can walk around and you know you're in the middle of the have you ever seen hindmo's uh arctic adventure there's a vice guide to travel um documentary thing like a series thing on this guy who moved to the arctic in i want to say the 70s he got a job up there and he decided to stay and he lives in this small cabin and he's like the last like sanctioned person to be able to live there and when he moves out no one ever is allowed to live there again and he lives a completely subsistence lifestyle up there wow and so this guy i mean during the course of this show and by the way this is when vice was the [ __ ] okay this is like the early days of vice
when you know they were these reporters that would be embedded in [ __ ] afghanistan and they would do things and you know wasn't like all woke [ __ ] like it is now but what this kid does is he goes out and it's like the perfect looking uh guy for the job because it's like this nerdy looking new york kid with glasses and he goes to this guy's cabin in alaska and he shows like the caribou that he's got hanging from a tree and you know while he's there bears come and they they try to get him and he has to [ __ ] kill a bear and then after he kills the bear he cuts the bear's head off and he has to send the bear to the wildlife biologist so they can determine the bear's age because when you murder a grizzly bear up there you're supposed to do that oh really yeah so he's got but it's legal to do that if it oh yeah he's attacking you well it's he's defending his life in property grizzly grizzlies black bears are smaller grizzlies are i mean how many pounds of bear jesus christ that's the bear that he had to shoot well it depends grizzlies so there's a grizzly bear and a brown bear are essentially i was not ready for that i'm ready for beheading was not ready for that does that freak you out um no i in general my i know i think that again like as i get you know mature in life i'm trying to just know myself better instead of like i know if i if i see like a really rough image it'll just stick with me and i'll uh replay it in my head and i like to maybe just that that's i'm trying to get off instagram a little more because and tick tock because you know sometimes you'll just see something you're just like at two o'clock you weren't prepared to see whether it's like a horrible piece of news or like an image or you know you know i know everyone loves the nature loves metal the nature is metal i love those two but sometimes i'm just like you know i um i go to those first things i know you like it's so crazy i have to be like okay i'm about to see something horrible first
thing in the morning i want to watch two eagles kill a coyote dude i'm just saying i open my phone it's just like a chimpanzee ripping a baby out of a todd like a [ __ ] stroller i'm like jesus guys let me just regroup first thing in the morning i go to the nature documentaries in the nature films is that how you got to motivate yourself it's a [ __ ] doggy dog world out there for no tomorrow oh god oh jamie lizards are okay lizards i don't [ __ ] lizards i know but the one where the the is it the monkey smashing the seagull yes i love that one it looks so human the way he's doing it yeah he's on top of a pole at the zoo he caught he caught a [ __ ] bird slipping i get too sad because when chimpanzees and monkeys it looks so human it is human i mean it's primate we're we're primates we're monkeys i go that's more i it makes me sad look at that one what is it what does that mean i can't it's a leopard eating a monkey and while it's baby clings on to the carcass can we go back to shirley temple in blackface please on the good ship that is way more disturbing to me than these animal videos isn't that a shocking yeah she was if if you're famous at five that means at three they started i clicked on that one this one's edited a little bit but there's a couple very strange scenes early hollywood pedophilia shirley temple and poor little rich girl ugh why wait what oh this is a video someone made he's like come over here kick him in the dick you like these pictures wait what he licks his finger why does he do that oh jesus wait what just happened watch he licks his finger watch watch this thing he put his yes that's exactly this thing watch look he licks his finger do you know something i didn't think i was going to like you at first huh but i like you now what now that your shrivel has fingers in my butthole i'm taking a liking to you why did he lick his finger and then have her sit on his hand but did you see
her expression she kind of went like yeah what the [ __ ] is that it's when you think about all the rehearsing and the training and the wardrobe fittings and like it's just licking the fingers like what the [ __ ] is that about bro that is the weirdest thing i've ever seen in my life that is so [ __ ] disturbing in plain sight that they would he would lick his finger and then she sits on his hand show that don't show that he's a thousand years old like that was just a movie yeah what the [ __ ] is that i didn't think i was gonna like you but i like you now now i do after you sit on my lap i'm gonna but someone trained her to dance that way like there is a baby burlesque where she's topless we saw one that where she wasn't but it's based like baby porn it's like dancing you know so it's like a lot of dark dark [ __ ] dude dark that that exists hollywood we need to cancel shirley temple to drink now let's break this down because do you think this is my my take on hollywood has always been one of the weirdest aspects about it is that there's a there's gateways to you working right like someone you have to audition and you can become a star like the harvey weinstein thing you can become a star through this guy and so he's got like quentin tarantino when he was on the podcast was telling me about this old school director that had a bedroom in his office so he had his office and in the office it was a bedroom where he would take the starlets all of them like if you were going to be a star this guy had to [ __ ] you apparently hitchcock was pretty nasty really uh-huh i bet they all were yeah i bet that was the gig who was at the k uh uh um um melanie griffith's mom tippy hedren tippy hedren who now has a tiger sanctuary by the way look up have you ever seen the trailer for the movie roar r-o-a-r tippi hedrick yeah we're gonna do it that's right that's right it's such a bad movie that we were going to get high and do watch the movie the entire movie with with comics and do like a fight companion with we
probably still shouldn't have genius i downloaded it and have it saved yeah and i just did um nice i just did are we drunk um in new york and we're like god rogan should be here and they were like we already do a show like this like uh uh the parks uh show you guys oh yeah yeah those shows are the most ridiculous did you see the last one where ari tried to keep up with shane gillis i imagine that did not go well for alright he tried to drink every beer that shane drank shane put away 17 or 18 18 we'll just say 18 18 beers in a three and a half hour podcast he drank 18 beers and ari got to what did he get to about 15. i think it was 15 and i don't remember if two of the 15 were minor he had 17 and two of those are mine so it was either 13 or 15. it's either 13 or 15 and then he's throwing up at a cooler and he's blacked out amazing he fell asleep on the floor we had to get uh the manager to come in every like a half hour so just to check on him make sure he's still alive because he was conked out right right below where you're sitting and the only reason why he didn't throw up all over the floor and ruined the whole place is because we we got him a cooler so he threw up into a cooler question hmm um okay so the thing about hollywood right i uh uh yes there's all these we'll get into all the nitty gritty but you know james corden is leaving or whatever curious do you think there's ever a version ever ever ever because it feels like that's kind of over you know but is there ever a version that whoever takes that spot is is cool you know like a like a comment like a real comic who has done stand-up for a long time who goes back to what the you know i think it's the late show not the tonight show but what was so great having comics on uh you know their sketches you know you're sure you have kyle dunnigan you have shane gillis doing sketches you have tim dillon being a correspondent you know you have all of our is there ever a version where there's gonna be a late night show
that works given what's going on in this huge yes but it would have to be on the internet yes the problem with those networks is they're captured those people are so woke and so confused and they're so scared and if something goes bad they get fired and if something goes well they don't get credit for it it it's it's like if you're a host of a show like that it's kind of on you yeah and all those people like if you do something crazy if tim dillon does uh megan mccain likes telling her daddy to [ __ ] her tits [Laughter] you know and if i'm the host of that show i am 100 getting fired and then the network executive who greenlit is probably also getting fired which is also crazy because it's like their whole thing would be well the sponsors are going to get mad at us and you're like well podcast you have sponsors yeah i got a lot of sponsors sponsors like you because of numbers not because of right well it's also they have a different sort of sensibility they recognize that like they a lot of the people that are sponsors are also fans so they actually enjoy the show like i get a lot of sponsors that are people that listen to the podcast and so like when money a few of the times that i've been cancelled they'll come after the sponsors the sponsor is like [ __ ] you why we like that show i make this argument about you when whenever this comes up which is like if you just listen to joe you'll like him i just mean like if here here's what's interesting to me is like you know the podcasting this is you know you've been doing it you know the long i know tom green and you know there are people are doing you know but i feel like it is on us as human beings now that when you consume something you consider the date it was made yeah when we eat something right before you drink milk you're going to look at the expiration date before you drink wine you're going to look at the date like if you're just going to pull a podcast that you did at the beginning of the pandemic and listen to it now you you changed your mind 50 times after that you know what i mean it was like
it's to not know the context when a three-hour conversation was had like you really have to know when something was recorded well the difference between a podcast and almost anything else is that at least the way i do it i don't have any difference in the way i talk to people on the podcast versus where i talk to them in real life like if you know me if you know me here like you and i have had a million conversations out of here i'm the same human i'm i'm this is how i am all the time this is how i am when i talk to my neighbor is how i am when i talk to friends like if i think something's funny i laugh i talk i mean a more like quiet reserved with like older people or people that are more sensitive but this is who i am and so what i'm doing is having like public conversations like while i'm thinking in real time out in front of the whole world that's not possible on network television they're not going to tolerate that they're scared of it and that's why they push back so hard when it becomes successful that's why they don't know what the [ __ ] to do like they're so confused is because like this thing that you're not supposed to do has become so much more successful than the thing that you're supposed to do that they do right and wait a second we conned any everyone into believing that you needed 200 people to make content right we you know what i mean that you were making 3 30 grand an episode and we were all making millions yeah you know if we just let you do this if the talented person makes all the money then we don't exist we don't have a job we don't exist we don't have a job you know yeah there was always this weird sort of gatekeeper thing like very similar to what we're talking about with like hollywood starlets where if you wanted to get onto a network you wanted to get onto a television show you had to kiss the ring you had to go to the parties you had to support the right political party you had to have the the same political ideology as everybody else and uh that microphone is driving me crazy
in favor and tighten that [ __ ] down like this look at my fingers this thing here right here right there tighten that down that the thing is wobbly as [ __ ] ari's balls yeah he probably sent it there is that better yeah sorry about that um agree and you know it's interesting because now people like well this person didn't you know they didn't hire a wheelchair person to play a wheelchair person and all whatever i'm not even yeah it's more like i'm like dude when i was auditioning to be on tv shows agents would call me and go you're not getting this job the head of the network doesn't want to [ __ ] you really that was a doesn't think you have sex appeal they really said that oh all the time it was literally you're not pretty enough you're too pretty you know you're you have to can you lose some weight i mean the stuff that i which is by the way i didn't complain about it at the time i was like this is business this is how it goes like i never expected anything more i never you know i was like yeah i'm in this shallow crazy business and if this is how decisions are made like who am i to like do i want the job or not yeah where the [ __ ] push-up bra [ __ ] imagine like you're in a movie you have to audition for a movie and in that movie you have to be like in your underwear so you have to go into this office and they're going to ask you to get into your underwear yeah which is just what they do right they want to know what you look like right now yeah it depends yes it used to definitely be like that um why would they do it any differently but now everyone is so scared of people suing them so i did the foo fighters movie it's called the it's a horror movie and there's a sex scene and everyone was like you can wear your bra if you want and if you want to wear underwear i was like then it's not a sex scene that would be weird let's not be i'm not going to sue you i promise i won't sue you let's not be so worried about me that we don't actually make this a funny scene you know because it was the drummer was having sex with me and i get sawed in half it's pretty amazing what is this movie it's called studio 666 the foo fighters
did a horror movie really where dave grohl gets possessed by a devil and kills the whole band wow it's it's actually it's pretty when does it come out it came out like it was like right we were shooting i wonder if you can pull up the scene where i get sawed in half there you go there she is is it a good movie yeah dude it is so it is so good it is so fun to watch dude it's called everlong and you wrote it about 20 years ago rest in peace taylor how you feeling everything okay ever since we moved into this house my mind is flooded we all have writer's block this is not just a creepy rock and roll house it allows spiritual entities to cross into our world oh my god dude has got one flew over the cuckoo's nest crazy it's like a send up to classic car movies let's finish the track can we just wait dude you found a new musical note oh yes i did it's an owl any chefs in the group i'm pretty handy on the grill yeah you like your meat charred and dry [Music] he does make a killer barbecue what do we do we go do you watch this after you watch willow the [ __ ] are you making me launch you wouldn't even go to top gun how do you mean i wouldn't go i couldn't go i had a show last night oh that's right that's right with theo that's right that was in town they tried to get me to go i would have gone i think though i feel like yeah i think i think you'd enjoy it yeah i think you'd enjoy it i must say like i definitely it was the first time i was like should i be on imax for this like would that be better i don't even it's supposed to be that's what everybody says you want to see it in a giant screen it gave me a reverence for the the people that fly these planes which i had before but it just sort of is like the level of danger is just it's unfathomable it's unfathomable yeah what they're doing these fighter pilots
you're you're literally fighting other people that are also in jets and you're shooting missiles at each other is that not [ __ ] mind-blowing it's a [ __ ] mind blower did you hear about how the opening jet in the uh the opening jet is computer generated and it's not real the first one remember when tom cruise was trying to get you can't go that fast he was trying to get to 10 right yeah but that china started investigating it because they were worried we really had it 10 g's is the thing because you didn't see it he gets in a plane that goes 10 g's what does most planes go uh i i think no one has really at least it depends on what you're doing the maneuvers because like you can bank and you'll hit like heavy g's it's not a matter of like straight force acceleration like straightforward acceleration but when banking when when they take heavy turns that's when you hit big time g's and they they actually show a lot of in the movie about how when you turn your lungs collapse so you actually can't breathe as well and a lot of it was like how you have to learn how to breathe and he's running on a treadmill with less oxygen i flew with the blue angels yeah i took one up at a flight with the blue angels we went seven and a half g's it's wild feelings wild like i had a bit about it in like the early days it's like when you are flying and you're in a jet you're going so fast that your brain all the blood is squeezing out of your brain so you have to do this thing called hooking where you hold on to uh like a [ __ ] the the the the whatever the post the joystick you gotta go like this you're forcing blood into your head to try to stay awake jesus man yeah and while i was doing this i was doing this with the pilot the pilot's in front i'm behind him and i hear him doing it and i'm like oh my god he's [ __ ] blacking out so like you're everything is getting like narrow and narrow and you're fighting it off by doing this hooking thing like like that's what you're doing that's wild that [ __ ] scares me i i like scuba diving like i loved like i i don't think
i'm cut out for it but i i enjoy the how you're breathing is how you descend you know like you really have to be in control of your it's all breathing that's right right you know and if you're doing short breaths you know so it's a way to kind of really be conscious of your breasts but i remember being like oh god i just that's a way to be in tune with your breath but i don't like the feeling of being above where humans are supposed to be or below the jet thing is wild because we weren't doing it with um we didn't have a g suit on like the they don't use g suits the blue angels don't but i guess some pilots they have like a type of suit that mitigates the g-forces but the guy the pilot that i was with he's gone to nine g's he went he can tolerate nine g's which is nine times your body weight they're all jacked too that's what's interesting like all those pilots are like these i think they're all under six feet tall and they're all like super stocky because you have to have like muscle to like yeah it's like being in a race car i had no idea that when you're racing cars you also have to be in crazy shape it wasn't 10 g's it was mach 10 it was 10 times the speed of sound so that's why it's a little uh bit of a stretch that makes sense that makes sense now they do have jets now that are hypersonic but mock what is like the fastest hypersonic jet that they have because they have you ever seen the videos of when they break the sound six times you ever seen when they break the speed of sound it's like it's going through clouds it's a wild thing it's visual you could see as a jet is going through the speed of sound like you actually br it's like there's a break in the air did um from like the sonic so look at that whoa yeah that's what it looks like when uh a jet goes faster than the speed of sound dude that's [ __ ] crazy crazy did elon and bezos when they went up did they break the speed of sound well bezos went up elon doesn't go up oh because elon's smart enough to just make rockets right
right right and stay down i know you love the the knurling thing i know you you have thought about quite a bit like would you do it if it was available tomorrow i think you have to do it once it gets implemented or you're in trouble the problem is it's like if you like it's like not being on the internet today if you're not on the internet at all it's the smartest person in the room well that eat hindmo in the arctic adventure as long as he's in alaska he doesn't have to be honest he's not getting cancelled any time he didn't have this photo of a halloween costume floating around but if you're um if you're living in a world where everyone's brain is connected to to this neural link and this neural link has changed the amount of the bandwidth your access to information it's completely different than it would be at any other time i'm i know he's your friend and um but like my brain always wants to go to the joke version of neuralink and uh i can't help but think that like he had he has to invent things to solve his own problems and he's like so busy and has so many you know women to have kids with or something that like just he had to solve the problem of a girl going what are you thinking about he was like we need to start a company to solve that right so i never have to talk to tell anyone what i'm thinking about because guys most annoying thing is like so what are you thinking about that's funny but i also worry that like i feel like my first thought about anything is awful like our first thought is gonna be either a fight-or-flight reaction some condition thing some you know it's like your first thought with that thing and then my second one like this is gonna it is what it is like i remember i was on a plane once and a female pilot walked on i was like like that was my first reaction because you don't see it a lot i'm obviously don't i'm not anti-female like obviously that's a good thing but my brain was like uh oh and then you go wait no she probably had to work twice
as hard to get half as far and she you know like we're good but my immediate reaction maybe it's because i'm a comedian maybe it's whatever some internalized sexism but like i don't even know my first thought about anything like you i don't want anyone to see my first thought about their baby before i stay like so cute i'm sure that is what it is that you're a comedian i'm sure that's the uh oh really yeah yeah it's like normal yeah okay but won't it just i'm sorry to be dumb but won't it just be like he's hot he's hot she's hot she's hot like yeah that's gonna happen too but that's gonna happen with everybody i don't think that's bad i think we're just gonna understand that that's how people think but if i'm like mad at my spouse and i'm kind of like i don't want like i don't want to i'm going to choose my battles whatever and if i'm just like yeah good no they're going to know now yeah i just feel like we've really managed to stay above water as a species with a delicate balance of lies and omissions well i think we'll have a better understanding of what is really going on in people's heads some people are going to be able to handle it some people aren't and that's really what it's going to be like it's going to be it's going to separate a lot of people it's going to give people an understanding of how other people really truly feel about them and you're going to be able to communicate according to elon without words but i also worry that a lot of our feelings are completely invalid and you know feelings aren't facts whatever like if you just move through something i think that's one of the biggest problems today is someone has a feeling and they say it's a fact i'm uncomfortable i'm upset which is everyone needs to get in line it's like no this is a feeling you need to tolerate the discomfort and then take an appropriate action when the feeling has worn off you know so i just worry that like you know i like when you're in a relationship some days you're like i [ __ ] hate you dude i
[ __ ] hate you and then the next day i'm like i love you i was just in a cra had i like put that on record and made it any more permanent like oh that was just me i was hungry i was right but maybe part of the problem is that the communication between two people is so crude because it's just words and people manipulate those words try to give an impression of the person that's not accurate you know there's there's a lot going on with human communication that would be solved if we could read minds there's an incredible book that i was actually um wrote a script with him to do the tv show uh called super sad true love story it's by gary steingart um dystopian satire it's like he's kind of like mike judge but a um a writer he did little failure russian debutants handbook he's so brilliant and he wrote this book 10 years ago about um takes place roughly like 40 50 years from now and it's about is it possible to fall in love with someone if you already know everything about them i.e you meet someone you already know their um genetic uh weaknesses what they're you know predisposed to get um this person is pretty supposed to get cancer and this and this do i really want to appropriate with this person if they have all these like you know genetic issues you know their their credit score which by then will be a social credit score will be like how much do people just like you and in china has bought america in this version of the dystopian satire um it's got your blood pressure it's got all your health stats on something called an apar apparat is how it's pronounced like can you ever truly fall in love with someone if you're not able to have a little bit of cognitive dissonance um you know right if you know that they have all these predisposed genetic conditions that could [ __ ] your kid up why would you stay with them yeah or just sort of like that's the kind of thing where tell me in six months when i'm already in love with you and then it's like maybe isn't that like a kind of like a eugenics right like it'll sort of encourage eugenics in a way because
those people people are not going to want to breed with them because it's going to be all transparent but like in you know in 30 years like when you meet someone will you be able to google them and look at every text they've ever sent or look at every photo they've ever taken and well you know all of us see all their medical records you know it could get to that it could get to that it could get to that i was it probably will i mean what what you're looking at right is all like bottlenecks for information and if if something happens where they do create a neural link and there's no bottleneck anymore the the amount of information that's out there is accessible to everybody at all times at any time there's nothing like i gotta google it it's there instantaneously it's gonna it's gonna change the world in as profound a way as the internet changed the world and in a weird way maybe the saving grace is also concurrently we're having more and more distrust of photos and videos because of all the deep faking photoshopping so at least you're able to be like oh well that's fake yeah you know at least people will question it even when it's real you might think it's weird no because you're going to be able to read minds there's not going to be any questioning whether or not someone really thanks someone so something rather when you're in the mind reading will you be able to lie to yourself and it come up as what i'm actually thinking i think you'll be able to see if someone's lying to themselves based on i mean huberman is probably who can really explain how this would all yeah sort of happen because it just seems you know it seems so so um i guess maybe because my brain and our friends brains are so cluttered right right that it's just like so many thoughts at once right well i think you're gonna get to a point where the technology emerges and then we're gonna be able to see what people are thinking and then as time goes on you're going to be able to see whether
or not someone's thinking something that's valid or whether or not they've thought this through or whether or not they're childish and foolish whether or not they're selfish whether they're charlatans whether or not they're con men i mean how many women are getting duped out of millions of dollars by [ __ ] that that'll never happen in the future because a woman will meet a guy and she'll go oh that's a fake rolex oh you're a [ __ ] fraud you're a con man oh look at that so con man will be gone all so that's the one thing like i don't know what they're gonna do those those scammers online no good documentaries left yeah tinder swindler was a very good one yeah those kind of people are going to be gone right because everyone's going to have neurolink or you won't have neurolink and you'll get duped and then you'll have to get it and then your kid's going to be telling you mom [ __ ] get it just take it take the neural link so what happens as a parent i'm sure there'll be an age where neurolink is allowed you know but if you see something you know not so salubrious that your child is thinking like you know i'm going to beat up some kid or like do you intervene like that to know everything your kid is thinking before they're fully formed as adults yet well who knows how many conflicts would be resolved just based on two people being able to being able to understand exactly what the other person's thinking instead of having this like wait [ __ ] you [ __ ] you yeah maybe people will be able to communicate in a way where you can resolve conflicts before they ever happen which is honestly to me as i you know mature as an adult it's like i do feel like more and more every day i realize that so much is not about what you're saying but how you're saying it oh yeah that's that's a lot of it and whether or not the person you're talking to thinks that you're considering their feelings whether or not you've expressed yourself in a way that they know that you care about them right or whether or not you're just blurting things out because it's self-serving and then you you don't care about the other person's
feelings like when you're in a relationship or any kind of a friendship and someone doesn't give a [ __ ] how you feel about things that sets the tone for all of your interactions from then on forward because you're always going to know this person this is like a shallow kind of shitty person who doesn't genuinely care yeah about me yes those are yeah bad relationships like but if the yeah but snide comments little backhanded remarks like that kind of [ __ ] toxic toxic yeah and it's it is odd because i guess maybe i'm using this as a way to anesthetize as we look at people's behavior right now and um to feel better about it but i also think people lie to themselves i think denial this is something i want to ask uh huberman about like what is denial because i see people that are in denial and i'm like is this ego is it a conscious choice like do you know that you're lying to yourself is this a mental illness we haven't figured out how to you know wrangle but you know when people are just so delusional about the reality around them and i'm like i think you the number of lies you tell yourself to get up in the morning is like the litany of lies you have to tell yourself to get through the day really like denial like what kind of lies like um you know this is where i think i've read the most about it is when a parent uh when a child has had any kind of abuse within the family and a parent knows about it but can't deal like can't acknowledge that it happened because it would just be too upset angering to them and so they're just like in denial about it you know like like i feel like we're in a little bit of a denial about the catholic church thing because it's just oh yeah people still go to church like that's kind of crazy like the do you know i was just in uh in italy right and you when you're in italy and you go to the vatican they send them over there from here if they did you know that the age of consent used to be 12
in the vatican okay yeah the vatican's its own country we just found who who pulled that up the other day but whose id who let us know oh yeah okay i guess we had child labor back then i guess kids were kind of consent sexual consent 12. they just recently changed it from 12 to 18 in vatican city i mean it's literally a country inside of a city it's only a hundred acres and the law does not apply outside at all no extradition and it's filled with pedophiles and in um i was trying to write a joke about this i never could really it made people too uncomfortable or something i i think i could crack it maybe for the next hour but it was um when uh when a priest here molest a child they just send him over to the vatican to live there and he's protected forever and um like i don't i don't want to molest a kid but like if i get a free trip to italy like it feels kind of like an incentive they're like if you molest one kid you get to live in italy forever well you have to live inside the vatican and never leave like the ratzinger the last pope he can't leave the vatican like they wanted that guy was wanted for crimes against humanity make sure that's correct there was something about what he had done one of the things that ratzinger had done he was in charge of taking people that had molested kids and moving them so instead of having them arrested and turning them in he moved this one guy to a place where he went on to molest a hundred deaf kids yeah so that wasn't that was the pope you know can't yeah and so this new pope francis is supposed to be like more progressive and you know he's like sort of more of a pope in the modern sense did you see the under the banner of heaven uh the mormon documentary no i think it is so wild that this is going to get me a dart in the neck or something there's so much fear around the mormon church like watching it it's right now this these men are marrying 15 year old girls and right now yeah am i tell me if i'm wrong allegedly well we got to get
to the ratzinger thing first oh good night sorry but um when they have like friday night like events where the girls will be in their dresses and they sing a song it's called be sweet they go be sweet be sweet just so dark and they're 15 years old they're literally i mean sometimes younger and dads like willingly give their kids like their girl it's psychotic like i don't understand why we're not all just storming salt lake city and getting these girls out it's shocking to me that's all happening now um what'd you find out about ratzinger i mean yeah he's the first pope to resign since like the 1400s yeah before death prior to 2001 the primary responsibility for investigating allegations of sexual abuse and disciplining the perpetrators rested with individual diocese 2001 ratzinger convinced john paul ii ii to put the congregation for the doctrine of the faith in charge of all sexual abuse allegations according to john l allen ratzinger in the following years acquired uh familiarity with the contours of the problem that virtually no other figure in the catholic church can claim driven by that encounter with what he would later refer to as filth in the church ratziker seems to have undergone something of a conversion experience throughout 2003-2004 from that point forward he and his staff seem to be driven by a convert zeal to clean up the mess what does that mean it just goes on to talk about all those different issues yeah the problem with this is like you don't know who [ __ ] wrote this and you don't know what are we doing cardinal poe what are we doing well they're they're all creeps why do you have names like you're larping yeah in medieval times like what the problem is like it's got this ancient sort of uh tradition connected to when so nothing goes on in your head when you're putting on that hat you're not like do i still need to be right wearing this like what are we doing superhero did you have much religion in your like growing up at all yeah for like a little bit when i was
young i went to catholic school for first grade i look back at that and i'm i'm not trying to like make a like big statement about it but i look back and i'm like yeah i went to catholic school when i was younger and like there's something weird about realizing that you're kind of part of like a like a sexy idea without knowing like catholic school girl like that's such a thing oh yeah and before you even realize that you're just like you know we'd always roll our skirts up and walk and you're like oh i didn't even realize i was probably so looked at like sexually before i even understood what it meant well there was a narrative when i was in high school the girls that went to catholic school were hornier taking the butt yeah well really well so you don't it's not technically sex oh that was after my time oh but uh the glory days yeah during my high school time girls didn't shave so the butt was like chaos well they they didn't trim their bush there was madness down there oh right nobody wanted to stick it in your butt the butt was a mess you know like porn changed everything because okay i lasered everything when i was like 24 so i'm not even sure what it would look like i don't have any concept of what now you torched it forever oh yeah it doesn't grow back i'm freezing um do you see me i keep sliding off the chair porn does it it doesn't grow back i did it at a time when they just like took like a blowtorch i mean it was like before the now are you it was no it's just i still have a couple little like smithers hairs that'll kind of oh like when uh like a tr like a tree after a forest gets burnt down a little sprout grows up it'll just be like one long one that i'll have to get but yeah i did like seven sessions over like two years and i remember i was on the oddball tour once and sarah silverman i was like changing in front of her and she was like jesus like she was just like god damn like what's and she was like you're gonna win as you get older you're gonna wish you had not done that
wow just as things start to kind of change she's like you're you're gonna wish that you don't wish you had hair you're not gonna want that to be bald forever so i don't know why that would matter we'll just i would imagine things get i don't know what were you just showing us oh okay utah lawmaker wants to raise legal marriage age to 18. oh what's it now okay there have been thousands of underage marriages in the u.s since the year 2000 and until recently more than half of the states didn't set a limit on how young someone could get married if they met criteria like parental approval but isn't if you're in the mormon church does it say what age it is though uh there i think it was the thing i had before maybe it was like 15. oh god can you look up the mary is 15 with parents in the court and then 16 to 17 year olds so that's mary with parental permission yeah so under utah law people as young as 15 can marry with permission from their parents in the court but but here's the thing like can a 15 year old marry a 15 year old or can a 15 year old marry a 40 year old they're not they're like 60 and 60 years old and they already have like five or six wives these are the mormons that uh practice polygamy i know a lot of more but these are the ones that get in trouble right because like you're not allowed to have polygamy in the united states that's the whole reason why uh they have those mormon cults in mexico can this this it's called under the banner of heaven let's make sure i'm getting it right the documentary because i know that was also a book but i think something interesting happens when documentaries come out exposing these things now we all talk about it and we watch it but i sort of feel like we think because a documentary was made about it it was like exposed and like oh that was handled right yeah but like i'm like i'm still do you know that's where mitt romney's family's from yes they all moved to to mexico so they could have a bunch of wives bomber yeah his dad was born in mexico that's why his dad could never be president i think it's fine to have many
wives as long as they're not 15. right you're insane i guess it's like yeah it's different their dads give them to these older men and it's like a sign of like you go you move up like higher in the church so under the banner of heaven is a true crime tale adapted by milk writer dustin lawrence lance black from john krakauer's non-fiction tome the mini series layers on some fictional elements to the story and has reignited criticism from members of the church of jesus christ and latter-day saints for its portrayal of mormons as violent and insular is there can you look up be sweet because that's the motto that they uh the song they say they try to yes and be sweet yeah that should be it like a video i would look for like a video of it's the girl singing and like it's a friday night all the guys are watching that's in that documentary yes these t and that's sometimes it just takes seeing one thing to just be like i can never get that out of my head once you look under videos look videos yeah well that didn't seem like this isn't going the right way video oh nice oh that is weird this isn't going to show it when they sing beasts i would say be sweet mormon yeah try that and look okay uh oh i don't remember what the final thing was but it might not be called imagine if you're like a [ __ ] 35 year old person you're realizing that you wasted your life in a cult dude and my wife has a friend like that be sweet she was uh she was in the mormons until she was in her 40s and then she left the mormons and now she like openly admits that she's vulnerable to like cults and different things because she just was so accepting of stuff and keep sweet i'm sorry i got it wrong can you pl oh that's the guy that that that's the guy that got it known as flds it's a far offshoot of the mormon church and supports the practice of polygamy the more wives the more children you have the higher in heaven you'll be when you're taught something from birth
from your mother and your father you believe them because they're your parents it was for our salvation you did whatever it took even if it was wrong one day my name was brought up and i was to be married i was 14. more jeff took over this religion and turned it into money and power and sex young girls were like a commodity owned by the church warren had himself 78 wives 24 of those wives were under age we're gonna go after the criminals and we're gonna go after the child abusers to stand up against a multi-million dollar church you're going up against a lifetime of conditioning and fear he took the families away took their homes away might as well just line them up against a wallet shop you don't fight the priesthood you don't fight the prophets but it was so much bigger than just warren and me it happens to everybody eventually you will come around and see the light we love you i love all of you and go what keep sweet pray and obey and it's on netflix so that's out now june 8th yeah and you're watching the girls saying keep sweet it's so wild yeah would they say you had 71 78 24 underage what the [ __ ] but it's also it's like it's there's something interesting like what would have to happen for that to stop like the documentary's not gonna be enough it's just gonna be more people know about it and it's still just gonna keep going on i guess i guess well didn't they they arrested that one guy he got arrested but the people keep practicing the same way but do you think in your mind you really believe that or you're like i just want to be able to mirror young girls or in your mind you're like this is actually what god wants like are they that brainwashed or are they using that to just justify it it's shocking to me that someone wouldn't be more so it's not written anywhere that god wants that it's not written anywhere that god wants you to
have 70-something wives so these are people that are just using this to justify gross [ __ ] well i think that just ultimately happens when someone's running a cult yeah when you've got a bunch of people then they're living their lives their lives based on you preaching at a pulpit and the way you're saying things and i guess taking all their money and [ __ ] their wives like that's a big part of all cults is sex it's so anathema i think comedian brains because our thing is question everything even something you subscribe to you constantly should question if you're a republican or democrat you should constantly be questioning your own party and the other party it's so weird to me to just be like oh yeah this guy's in power he must know what he's talking about but there's so many people that out there that don't want to question things they just want someone to sort of carve a path for them and guide them and and if you think that it's because of god which is like the perfect justification for you to follow some wacky stuff isn't it like a drug basically i mean it's like a it's like an um anesthesia it's a way to just sort of go unconscious to go offline to be like you know like i was watching um hulu has a documentary on this cult leader her name was teal swan and it's sort of i've heard that name before it's wild it's she started this cult just kind of not a doctor not a scientist and you know and it's the kind of thing where you're like oh if someone wants to be a part of this or doesn't see through it like maybe they should be here what is her cult it's about she was sexually abused she comes from a satanic cult and then she does therapy to help you face your traumas which right now there's a lot of that out there where people are sort of pretending to be these like trauma healers when they have no medical degrees they've no they're just kind of on instagram and they're like you know write a letter to your inner child and don't talk to you know it's just sort of people that are broken um just kind of being magnetically attracted to someone
who is like a narcissist who's gonna promise them like i'm gonna fix you but when someone tells you that they know how to fix you that's always like super compelling to people like i have found the way i found the way out of your problems it's all your trauma and this can be healed you can be healed like there's not a lot of cult leaders that have i mean like who's succeed like i feel like it never ends well like the jig is gonna be up eventually because you're because you're also basically attracting a lot of really mentally ill people that are gonna turn on you at some point it's a dangerous group of people to have around yeah they can be very loyal but when they turn on you they're gonna spend their whole life you know um dedicated to taking you down because of that vengeance that sort of need and this teal swan lady did they take her down the documentary filmmakers followed her for three years pretending they were like into her oh really yeah and uh very active on youtube still i bet she also did videos after each episode aired like debunking the videos but it it makes her look terrible and make sure the documentary makes it look terrible makes her look terrible i mean terrible i feel like someone from this organization may have reached out no you're in that she does i think your name does come up my name comes in the documentary someone says like oh you should do joe rogan and she's like yeah i'd love to i'm sure um but uh it's it's tricky with the cult thing because i think what is like what is she doing she's basically doing something that is is not so emdr is something i that i think you have a lot of friends that have done i've done it i think neil brennan talked about it when he came on is a trauma therapy that was developed i think for vietnam war veterans it's about um when you're traumatized uh you know what it is look it up but she's kind of trying to do the version that's not professional which is that whatever your biggest trauma was you were
molested you were raped or whatever let's go back there and work through it this is the only way to heal it and then there's other people at the retreat who are not doctors who are not trained anyone just other people at the retreat we're all going to act out the characters in your life oh jesus so joe um your dad um you know you were to fight one time and it traumatized you when you were six great you're gonna be young joe i'm gonna be your dad lindsay this random girl from tampa is gonna be who's [ __ ] nuts uh is gonna be your mom and taylor over here this [ __ ] trust fund [ __ ] from la is gonna be your sister or whatever and now ready go and we're gonna reenact the scene and i'm like joe don't in there it's like bad acting it's kind of hilarious to watch if you're this is in the documentary yes this is kind of bad and then they stop the scene joe now you're sobbing because of whatever power of suggestion or whatever you already predisposed to sort of be weak and you know or you want to whatever the reason unstable maybe and then the person that acted i acted as your dad and this person acted as your mom they go like i felt i felt like there was vibes of like i wanted to like i think i've molested you before did you oh again another life no like like i'm i was the dad so i thought his thoughts and your dad abused you what i swear to god and there's like that is so [ __ ] irresponsible like just random people are just improvising in like a shitty acting class diagnosing your family and then the person is like yeah i think maybe he did oh my god and then they're like so then they're mad at that person like that person is your people that aren't even professionals are telling like i think this person there was some sexual abuse in your family based on [ __ ] what you know it's v it's just wildly irresponsible because of how vulnerable the people are that subscribe to her why do you think people are so vulnerable to
cults what is it about like someone saying i'm the leader come with me i have the solutions like why why are people so vulnerable to that well a couple i think that i i think that church having grown up with a lot of like religion around me my mom's side of the family is from a place called sherman texas they all worked in the church there um and i think the church in general provides a lot for people that i think we tend to be a little bit classist about like you know for me growing up it provided child care and community and food and you know it's a place to go on sundays and you know have kids out of the house like it served a lot of purposes that now looking back i'm like why was i in church just so much as a kid i'm like my parents weren't that religious they just needed a place to leave me for a couple hours you know which the irony is you go like catholic churches are safe right for girls they are i guess they kind are for girls which is weird right yeah and i think on some level you go like i think smart parents go discipline is good you know it which i think you know so it's like catholic this is good you know there's a uniform you don't have to get kids all these clothes there's all this confusion about what to what you know it just makes things kind of easy easier for parents on some level um i think that in general humans are vulnerable in both ways like i think about this a lot that humans are and you're gonna um probably have a lot to add to this which is that we're kind of only superficially at the top of the food chain like we're not we can get killed by a bee some people die from a bee you know like we are so vulnerable all the time i mean any animal if we lost our opposable thumbs or you know had a and they were light out of a cage we'd be dead i mean most a lot of animals can kill us i mean a tick can kill you you know if it's carrying the right diseases you know and i think we know that i think subconsciously like we're aware that we're on borrowed time and that we're so much more fragile than than we think and i think that that connects to our brain as well and i think the idea of having any kind of
protection even if it's false whether it's a cult and we're all a family and i think is something that's really attractive to people because it makes them feel like they have strength in numbers or a part of a tribe and have some kind of protection even though they're in the belly of the beast of danger the irony is that they're i think very few people are actually in danger of other animals i think when in terms of like us being on the top of the food chain we most certainly are by a long shot but if there were no weapons but the thing is there's a balance and the balance is that we're physically very very vulnerable and weak in comparison to most animals like if most animals want to attack another animal it takes a lot of work like for a lion to bring down a water buffalo it's a lot of work you know lying to bring down us is like that it's like instantaneous we're made out of jello we just fall apart we're jello and twigs trash bags full of blood but i think that the uncertainty of life is what it's about that's what when when a cult comes along that's the same thing that a religion offers you like certainty like we have the answers here are all the answers i'm going to alleviate you of all your anxiety because one of the things there's someone i forget who i was reading this they were saying that one of the things about human beings we have anxiety because anxiety is future problem solving so we think about things and problems they're going to have in the future well someone comes along and says i've got all the answers they can alleviate you of that anxiety and all you have to do is have this willingness to believe just be in bliss let me take that off your plate let me let me make it so you don't have to perseverate constantly i'm very pro anxiety i think i'm sorry i don't mean like things i mean i know so many people especially like younger people like i have anxiety i'm like you should you should that's a healthy reaction have you seen the news like i know there was just an article that said how to protect yourself from nuclear war like yeah you see that new york thing where they're like they they made a video about if a nuclear war hits
new york like how to protect yourself like why like how much money are the news organizations hemorrhaging that they had to just post that they are in trouble they're in real trouble like the wall street journal just wrote a [ __ ] hit piece about elon where you know they said that he was uh having sex with the google chief's wife oh right right right and he was like first of all it's not true i've only seen her like three times over the last few years and every time there's been with a lot of people around and second of all this guy that's supposed to be my no longer friend he goes i was just hanging out with him last night so you guys are making oh he posted a photo yeah yeah yeah like you guys are making things up like this is he and also the wall street journal didn't contact any of the people involved the first time which is [ __ ] wild i mean i'm just that alone this is the wall street journal this is not that crazy this is not like you know from some [ __ ] tabloid website because we've always i do like to play the exercise of everything that's happening today always existed it just looked different you know like we did used to have like the inquirer remember the all those trash magazines and but they were like my son's a werewolf what do i do the alien remember the kid with the teeth it was born an alien like i love that chip but those were fun but like you know whenever people like the negative comments i'm getting the the people are so disgusting now i'm like i like humans have always uh participated and gotten entertainment out of like shot and freida like the roman coliseum people used to go to public hangings like oh yeah for entertainment for sure so that twitter is just kind of an extension like i like to play with that idea well what twitter is is people saying things where you could read it where they've always said whenever someone has been successful or something's gone on the news people have always had hot takes on it at the barber shop at the [ __ ] beauty salon at the gym people have always talked about it but now they're talking about it in typed form and they're putting it out on twitter and it goes out in the world
yeah it's fascinating to to think about that and just like all the fears like fear robots like there was also remember um i was reading something about the fear of trains like when trains first started people were thought that they would get electrocuted they'd be infertile if they rode on a train they had the same irrational technophobia fears with them i mean it's obviously a small group of people you know uh elevators you know like when new technology comes it does feel weird right right there's a lot of people that are scared of airpods right they're worried about the emf signals and maybe they're right or maybe it's just going to be like what trains back then they thought that if you go more than 35 miles an hour you [ __ ] compress and explode remember in i guess this was i don't know late 90s i mean cancel culture and the simpsons remember how big that was like gotta get simpsons off the air tip or gore was coming after eminem they were trying to get beavis and butt head off the air they were trying to get the simpsons off the air oh there was bart simpson was like a very controversial figure i think back in the day tell me if i'm wrong god i don't remember that at all i mean i believe you but i don't remember it there was like remember and tipper gore didn't want certain so tame now it's isn't it wild to think about like we've always as the species worried about the influence of something incendiary or edgy or contaminating our kids or something like there's always been i remember tipper gore going after rap music yep she she's who isn't she who caused parental advisory yeah they put that on because of her yeah but eminem was i mean could you imagine before rap was around like gangsta rap and then all sudden it comes around like nwa and ice-t and all that [ __ ] and you're like what you're talking about shooting people mm-hmm you're you're you got a song called [ __ ] the police but then we can do a song that's like hit me with your best shot or that's more offensive i did i mean this is i love bruce springsteen but i did do a joke about this is my special of like hey little girl is your dad yeah i'm
really cool did he go and leave you all alone [Music] when did you sing that do you remember that rod stewart um song i was like you'll be a woman is it that one it was like spread your legs wide open well they all had songs about like 16 year olds insane yeah but the videos were wild too kiss had a song christine 16. remember were you dave matthews person or no no okay [Laughter] i knew that was gonna go that way but there is that song um hike up your skirt a little more you went to a couple crashes into me and i come and tell ya yeah that would just when you every now and then you're like singing along to a song you're like damn that's wild yeah everybody was kung fu it's like about drug abuse is it it's such a upbeat poppy song but if you read the words he's talking about it they should have done more drugs to make that sound cooler i mean there was there's so many stories of that right where people were escaping reality together like i mean that was barfly yeah mm-hmm remember that movie it's actually about crystal meth oh christ wow yeah that makes sense did those folks did anybody from that band die i don't know third eye was that their only that was their biggest not only they had the one about suicide jumper jump off the ledge this was the oh get back from that ledge my friend dude i mean remember i remember the first song that like haunted me or felt like you know was um uh pearl jam jeremy jeremy and i was like yo this is about a kid blowing his brains out yeah like that was like that was really intense yeah what was that song better man can't find a better man god i love him so much he was i asked your first crush he was definitely my first crush he tried to take on ticketmaster
remember that recently yeah they tried to take on ticketmaster and they crushed their business because they're like why is ticketmaster getting all this money like why are we paying all this money to them we're gonna we're gonna [ __ ] stop that i thought the ticket buyer pays it well i guess it comes out of his but well they i think they were trying to stop that from happening like they're like they wanted a relationship where the fan pays 20 bucks and they get the 20 bucks not the fan pays 40 bucks and ticketmaster gets 20 bucks and they get 20 bucks i heard schultz just buy back their albums what do you think of what he did i love i love it it's interesting i love it i mean like bought his stuff back and released it for free or released it rather for a fee yeah and i think that you know it's i think that we're kind of at a place where every you know we don't comedians don't love change we like doing things the way we did it and now i found i find i've been so resistant to new things and i'm now just like i don't want to get on instagram that's dumb i don't want to and then you are like this isn't going away you just have to ride the horse in the direction it's going and like every platform might be really hot the next year it's not and then or it's gone remember there was like cso and tbs and comedy central it's like used to like how long was ceso around for a year max what was quibby was that what was the one that put billions into yep but that honestly jeffrey katzenberg's a gangster i mean he started dreamworks like he based it on us the south korean model which was already doing that and kind of was like oh like they're so ahead of us on so many things they're they're consuming three minutes at a time but i think that now it's like oh we just want three minutes of rogan talking to his friends they didn't have the content what they didn't i i thought that was so flawed from the beginning because they were trying to hire people to make content like you don't know if the content's good like the only way people are tuning in is if it's good content you don't know if you have good content
yet but you're spending all this money and you don't have like certified content yeah it's a terrible idea you're also i don't know what this says about me i i will not watch the best show on television because i don't want to enter in numbers like as soon as you're like sign up for pass i'm just like peace like not worth it i'll wait till i can just look it's on another pla like if i have to go to a new network right just to a new platform yes i have to really want it because that put in your email and your in a password i'm like never mind yeah i've got like amazon prime i've got netflix i've got hbo max i got hulu showtime i think i have that well i got it for the oliver stone um oh i have it i have it because i got it for the jfk thing yeah because he was coming on to talk about that yeah but that's it i'm out that's it you come up with a new one i'm like at capacity i'm at capacity on passwords i'm in capacity on platforms at the moment yeah you know but it seems like and also it's just something new every so is in terms of shawls i think it's like he was when he went did the thing at netflix for that um the christmas thing he did the year in review like that was perfect and then sort of the algorithm started maybe not doing what he want and then do that and then he might go back you know i think we just have to stay flexible but if you own your own [ __ ] that's the key so this special i just did i financed it so that if things change in two years i can always i'll own it uh so if you just did a licensing deal with netflix yes interesting so if joe rogan comedy comedymothership.com ends up being the next comedy network i'll be like great i can you know give it to joe i can put it on youtube i can put it whatever the big thing is in two years which jakepaul.com i don't [ __ ] know wherever we're gonna have our content in two years i don't think we even know no i don't think we know either it's um the the censorship thing is the most disturbing right because you just don't want you don't want your thing to be watered down just because someone thinks they're gonna make a couple extra bucks if it is
it's the opposite you're gonna make way more if it's not that's the irony yeah they're learning that now but it's a slow process of education they're learning that now through podcasts yeah yeah there's the difference between like censored podcasts and uncensored podcasts in terms of reach it's pretty crazy yeah but i think that you know netflix i think that to go like oh comedy is not doing as well i don't think it's because you're not censoring things no they're they're making terrible choices well they they did censor well they they made a terrible choice when when karmy central started sliding was when they went after ari and they killed this is not happening which is one of the best shows they had on the network because ari wanted to do a netflix special and they said no you have to do a comedy central special he's like but that's not contractually true yeah like i don't have a contract with you guys i'm allowed to do a netflix special and they said if you do we're going to cancel your show and so he was like [ __ ] which is weird to me because that's i i had a show at amazon a couple years ago with lisa kudrow and martin short and lee daniels and all the actors it was at amazon and they were like if you work at amazon you can't do shows at netflix or if you're netflix you can't do shirts and amazon it's like that's like the old studio system from the 20s when it was like so dumb warner brothers would buy joe rogan like that you'd have to p you'd have to pay me such a r make it worth it that but not only that amazon or rather um netflix was paying ari more of course but comedy central wanted to pay him less to do something on comedy central because he had a show on comedy central and they wanted him to stay on it what else was nettling was i think the comedians for the longest time had this like we should be so lucky thing like we'll take no money well whatever it is just get any exposure any ticket sales because there were so few ways to get on tv that we took such garbage deals and uh didn't understand our own worth so i remember just seeing i think everyone
had this experience where all of a sudden my comedy central specials were on paramount plus and everyone's like oh and i'm like cool like i didn't even think to say like did i get paid for that like was there they sell it to paramount plus yeah what happened and then a special night on comedy central was sold to that i didn't own was sold to netflix it's all because as a committee you're like oh that'll help my ticket sales like how dare you complain but then you're like what the [ __ ] man this is a bad thing to um enable like i should not be cool about this because we will work for free for and have no concept of what our value is because people have told us like your piece of [ __ ] for so long right but now i think comedians are starting to realize we have more power than we thought because we were so gaslit to believe like you know we needed all these networks in order to make it and we did for a long time you know god dude like it used to be like how do i get on yeah i remember like um doing the george lopez show when he had a talk show once and i remember i was like borrowing money to get there i'm like if i just kill on this set maybe i can headline penguins you know it's like we need it you know there we had no power yeah you know and you'd see people that were so [ __ ] funny that couldn't feed their families how freeing is it for you now to have a podcast though it's pretty amazing i i don't think that like youtube i'm a little bit you know i know that it's predominantly like male i don't i know i was talking to schultz about this and she's he's like no women go on there and they watch makeup tutorials and [ __ ] like i think there's you know i'm i still get a little bit insecure about that um about the demographics or about just going like oh can i not get as many people on youtube or whatever but yeah but if that might just be my own like insecurity i don't think you should think about it at all just do what you're doing yeah it's i don't think anybody should ever think about like how do i get more
people yeah just do your best thing do your best thing and then try to make it better don't ever think like how am i getting more people because then you're gonna compromise yourself right you're gonna change who you are in order to be more outraged just some more this or more that and that [ __ ] becomes transparent to people if they don't think you're really you think that drives them nuts well i think what it is is i try to not with the podcast be like business oriented it's more like when you're like oh you need to tag certain things so you get in the algorithm and you know like i'll get advice like that i'm like i i'd rather just not get as many numbers and just have a good time and be authentic i don't want to overthink youtube by putting certain words in the caption that's going to make it pop up on the side like i don't want to get into all that yeah [ __ ] that yeah that's just not something i'm particularly good at or interested in um i like to just like put it out and never think about it again and then do that with the demographics too and all that other stuff people say that they're like you have to get more this and this and then don't listen to those i know i just cut them off that's blocked their numbers you're taking you're taking the thing that is the most joyful but i think it's made me a better comedian um it's you know made me more thoughtful i think before i did a podcast i was so like you know you work on something for a year before you let anyone see it everything has to be perfect all the time and now you're just loose you just have conversations you laugh and talk [ __ ] yeah it's a skill though i mean i definitely think the first couple times on this show i was so trained because like you go on a talk show you have seven minutes you gotta get it all you're like a manic like psycho yeah like laugh [ __ ] like just get it and you just gotta get and it's just so uncomfortable yeah so it took me a second to just settle in and be like um not rushing yeah desperately to try to get a laugh that's a weird thing when i have people come on and you can feel their nervousness and i'm like how do i alleviate that how do i get them to calm
down you know it's tricky it's i think that you know as i do so many other people's podcasts i think you know doing other people's podcasts is a skill that you have to learn you know oh yeah you know doing births is i just did schultz i just did are you garbage i just did legion of skanks live in new york everyone is so different and you yeah you can't go in it's someone else's home you don't have the home court advantage you're a guest on someone else's show they're usually not their list they're usually there i think in situations like that to hear their friends the hosts in combination with you wait isn't it interesting though that that has completely taken over promotion it used to be you had to get on the tonight show or you had to get it that's gone they don't want you to do that at all if you do something they want you to go on all the podcasts and they're like can we don't have the no we don't know how to get you on there can you dm that like they can't even help you yeah you know yeah and i mean yeah it's like can you get me on hot ones that is a 100 changing of the guard 100 yeah so this last time i you know this past week i did like kelly and ryan or something and and you're like okay that's gonna be on in like veterinarians offices in the lobby it's gonna be on you know what i mean at the tsa like you know like in the break room right you know someone connected to a tube just stuck in a bed on their deathbed they have to see me like that because ryan just [ __ ] pull the plug yeah just drown me i can't watch three people forcing jokes on a set but yeah i mean that's that's really it where was that show filmed new york ooh so you flew into new york just for that no i was doing well i did shoals i did are you garbage i did contrast i know i it was wild to go back and forth from kelly and ryan to legion of skanks oh that's hilarious total mind [ __ ] i did uh uh we might be drunk um i did bert's uh podcast when i was there
i'm you know so yeah that's really the way to do it at this point yeah that's the only way it's pretty um wild yeah and you're not even doing stand-up which is even crazier because it was also like i'm gonna go do stand-up on conan i'm gonna do stand-up on right which by the way i accidentally dressed exactly like jay leno in the special how so do you wear a jean shirt yes did you i wear a jean jacket and jeans and i i totally you didn't realize it while you were doing it didn't even think about it why did you dress that way i i was trying to just go okay classic never gonna go out of style like you know because people now like my first special from 15 years ago it's caught up on instagram and i look like a i look like [ __ ] peggy bundy i look insane i look insane i look like such a crack [ __ ] i'm like okay i need to dress in a way where if someone watches this in 10 years 20 years it'll still hold up so it's like i'll just do like a jean jacket and jeans and everyone's like you know making fun of me that i look like jay leno yeah ah you look great yeah it's like i mean but you look relaxed yeah it looks like you doing uh a regular set somewhere as opposed to that one where your hair was down you were like really well made up and everything the hbo special yeah you you went a little hard in the paint on that one it was like i'm doing an hbo special i'm gonna get a stylist i'm gonna like you know this is every comic's dream and i it like i got a had a lot of voices around me being like why don't you be more feminine like be more of a play you know like it just do something because i'm kind of a you know bull dyke and that's how i dress and but also i i was really you know i stand by the material not special but i was wearing like heels i had never worn heels on stage before i did oh that would be odd it was so odd and i'm you know i felt like i couldn't be as physical as i normally slip around oh yeah i was like worried about falling i was like [ __ ] bambi on ice like [ __ ] idiot and uh i really yeah i regret i regret not just
going you know what this is what i wear every night i'm just gonna wear the nicer version of what i wear every night you know i think of this you know i do like dressing up a little more because i i find this whole thing where comedians just wear their pajamas at the win like can you can you would it kill you to put on a [ __ ] like when tony hinchcliffe hans kim and brian simpson and i did the mgm last month we or this month rather i guess it was this month i forgot what month it is we uh all got tailored david august suits i saw that yeah i thought you were you guys were all making fun of lex no we decided to get tailored suits like and all wear the same suit did you feel weird performing great it feels kind of cool right you know what's great about it it was like and tony brought this up he said it was like we had an outfit to change into like we showed up dressed like this like normal clothes and then we got there and then we put on our work clothes like we're ready to go to work it's like it's like yeah that's us that's dope i like it why not look at brian he's the glasses that makes me so he looks licked his feet he doesn't even know how to stand oh there we go see i think there's something cool about being like yeah we're putting on our like war gear it felt good you know it felt good i also think people you know people spend a lot of money like they you know it's been a rough time if someone's gonna come spend 100 bucks and get drinks like yeah i remember being in vegas and looking out and i was in like a t-shirt and jeans and because you don't want anyone to think you think you're better than them or i don't want to dress up too much i don't want you to think i'm you know and um and i looked down and i saw these women in like like sequin gowns and i was like oh this is your big night out right and i look like i'm on my way to [ __ ] rehab right imagine if you are this is your big night out and someone goes on stage with a notepad and goes what else what else what else is happening people do that in big shows there's people that do that in big shows they'll go on stage and not know what the [ __ ] they're talking about do you think
because i have so much judgment about that do you think though that their fans are like oh this is cool i get to kind of see them no no i think the fans want to see a show but it's difference between them going up at a small club and working out material in that case i think yes absolutely like i saw christina at the creek in the cave and she went up with a notebook and she had just released it with you oh that's right [Laughter] i was like i was with this [ __ ] [ __ ] like i was sitting next to this dumb [ __ ] who was cackling the whole [ __ ] time it was hilarious that's hilarious yeah but we saw her that was magical it was really fun but it was also fun because the audience was in and the creek in the cave is great because it's a very small room so the audience was in on the fact that she was creating this whole new set from scratch and she let him know yep but true pros know how to go yeah i think that true pros pretend they're more unprepared than they actually are in a way you know like i'll go out there and i'll have them written down but like don't get it twisted like i i look at the bullet points but i know i'm not going to ever allow a sloppy showdown right right right but some people do and that drives people nuts people have jobs and they're tired it drives them nuts and i get it i see it from their point one time i was at the ice house in pasadena and um there was like a booked show like which is a bunch of random comics and i went into you know watch the comic uh that was going before me and the comics said to the audience like uh so where are you from sir and he was like oh you know pensacola whatever a guy behind him stood up and went he's from lake tahoe he's from los angeles he's from cleveland can you please just do some jokes whoa it's crazy whoa and you know do you have like those moments in your career that like change you forever and you're like boom if you're gonna do crowd work it better be [ __ ] right andrew schultz dynamite yeah you better be good at it or you better do 20
minutes right then go into it well that's also the thing what you do in one of those shows where there's 15 other people on the show like if they're killing it and they're doing stand-up and they've got bits and tight bits and then you know you're up there so yeah where you from sir and they're like oh jesus christ yeah what are you doing yeah i i really enjoyed us going to the creek in the cave that night to see christina like i hadn't gone to watch a comedy just as as a i was stunned at how first of all loud it was like er we're all way funnier than we even know because we're also competing with so much noise i couldn't believe it people are opening their [ __ ] butterscotches they're on their f like people are just so distracted there's so much going on that you're like oh she's still killing even though people are having to do 10 other things you know which is what i do love about the comedy store it's so dark in that o.r that you really can't do much else you can only watch the show yeah but when we went to see you that was like the first time i'd seen uh stand up in a theater in a long time we're just going to see somebody seeing christina was like one of the first times i saw anybody in a club but i like going to see comedy i i haven't in a long time i hadn't done it in a long time but just being an audience member it gives you a better appreciation for what the audience is sitting through yeah it makes you tighten your [ __ ] up completely and and also pace it up in a lot of ways and you know i just remember sitting there and being like there's so much going on remember we were like hearing like yeah and that might just be a comedian thing because we're so sensitive to sound but she didn't even hear it all the things that were driving me nuts she didn't even hear right she's way up there and also she's got monitors in front of her so they're little loud speakers right there it's weird like when we're on stage i would love like maybe huberman will do it like a study of what happens to our brain when you're performing because i find that i get
a more acute hearing when i'm on stage but also get more deaf i wonder what if like you could put like sensors on the brain and hook it up to like an fmri machine and have people like have your brain functions monitored because you are you know um uh where did i read that the reason people are so afraid of public speaking is that like on a like a reptile brain it used to be in tribal times if you were talking to a crowd it meant you were like defending yourself yeah you told me that right yeah yeah that's that's really interesting that that's why people are afraid to talk in front of large groups because usually you're about to get judged yeah you'd have to basically save your ass or like defend yourself before everyone stoned you but so i would imagine your amygdala is going nuts but also sometimes you only see light and that's it like what does your brain think you're looking at on stage yeah yeah well when it's really bad like when you only see light and don't see the crowd i don't like that i like seeing a little of the crowd yeah you know it's like those places where you're flooded like that's disconcerting i know and you're kind of like this is i could be anywhere i could write space what am i concentrating on exactly yeah we're the people i need to lock into like one person usually um but uh but yeah it'd be interesting to know what goes on because i or just in terms of comedians because i i'm i i always get ner i get i get nervous in places but when i'm on stage i never feel nervous really ever do you feel nervous before you go on stage sometimes i'll feel excited i think one of the biggest challenges we all have is the difference between nervous and excited right because they're they're very close nervous is fear that's what people think is fear yeah not fear but definitely like amped up i want to get it right i think if anything is like i just don't forget this and don't forget that don't zone out and stay and stay here like it's just a matter of just good nervousness stay in the pocket yeah i think goodness i think nervousness is good i think it is true this whole fear of anxiety i meet people like anxiety
like you should have more anxiety yeah to get more anxious to make yourself more interesting like why aren't you like i'm anxious about boring this person i'm gonna go read a book like you're anxious about the wrong things if you think that this is an interesting conversation like you know so i i think anxiety is good i see it as fuel um i get excited about it because it's like oh we can like alchemy i can alchemize this into energy let me give this to them you know and i get excited i also get excited about what's going to work especially with now i this whole thing remains like you can't say anything i i'm excited that there's danger in comedy again yeah there's eggshells again yeah i am too you know it's there's tension whereas i feel like three years ago you couldn't shock anyone it was like it was a lot harder there was a sex tape p-tape in the news isn't it crazier that three years things changed so much things were changing and then the pandemic hit and it just accelerated everything just poured gasoline on all of it like exponentially i i was thinking about this yesterday is there anything in the thought of um uh like we've we're saving all this time now right like what are we doing with all this time we saved so it used to be like you'd go to the grocery store that would take an hour you would go to the pharmacy would take an hour you would go to walgreens it would take an hour but we don't have to run those errands anymore are we saving to where what do we do with all that time that we've saved what time are you saving just like now we just do amazon instacart or just order everything on amazon like you're not but you still go to the grocery store right i used to go to a grocery store but i don't have my prescription gets mailed to me but i don't i don't go it used to be like i need highlighters i it's going to take an hour by the time i go to walgreens and get home if you want to find out where that time's going look at your [ __ ] screen time that's i think that's what started happening we now have more time on our hands and we have more time to just be like you know what [ __ ] chris hemsworth
you know what i mean like yeah you're just staring at your phone we used to just be busier we used to be like i gotta go do this i don't have time to hate you know this person that's you know done something bossy didn't have a portal to hate through that's true yeah you give people a rock and there's a window they're gonna throw that rock and you didn't always find people somewhere that would corroborate yes they would go yeah [ __ ] chris hemsworth yeah it's amazing to me that like i'm big on when someone agrees with me about something i want to know who they are you know what i mean like am i [ __ ] are the nazis on my side [ __ ] because when people yeah i got 50 likes i'm like it's not the quantity of like equality right who's liking you who are these people that like you don't you want to know it's you know it's like high-fiving with a bunch of [ __ ] homeless people it's like yeah like don't you wanna what else do they like yeah don't you want to kind of know so that's a tricky thing too it's all these like faceless just kind of we project that everyone that likes us are like yale graduates that's what we would like that's the narcissist's dream that everybody who likes you is amazing and everybody who likes everybody else is an [ __ ] and a [ __ ] that's if you if you watch watch someone generalize about the kind of people that like someone that they don't like guarantee that person has some serious narcissistic tendencies it's on it's it's so wild to me because i grew up in a in a house that was like yes definitely had uh rough spots but my dad was like brilliant and very in his whole thing with me was i think that he didn't really know how to attune to having a daughter like it was like a little awkward in a way um but i think he was trying to prepare me for the world and make me like smart enough to deal with the adversity that he like felt like was coming even because he didn't feel like he could arm me physically you know and he always said he was like the sign of an intelligent person
is someone who can argue the other side you don't have to believe it yeah but if you can't argue it it means your ego is involved and you can't possibly be rational and you can't possibly be intelligent that's such good advice that's brilliant advice i always try to look at other people's perspectives it's hard to do sometimes especially if that person doesn't like you or they they don't like what you like or they're uh ideologically opposed to what you like unless someone's like like you know molesting kids or whatever there's no of course you don't have to get in i even though sometimes just like to go we'll hurt people hurt people and if you were if you molest that means you were molested and there's a cycle to break you can't even go that far if you know right you need to but but yeah he always told me like if you can't argue the other side then you have no idea what the [ __ ] you believe you know and that was always something that so before i ever disagree with anyone i'm like first let me defend their argument and then i can start to figure out what mine is steel manning there's a great um podcast called intelligence squared i don't know if it's still around but it's just debates it's just like smart ass people debating and then the audience i think at the end like votes who's right but it's like it's so hard to find places where you'll see people that are dis respectfully disagreeing with each other you do it right respectfully because there's another thing that really bothers me which is not about just disagreeing with someone that's that's fine even if you're wrong i don't care how much you disagree with someone to just call them trash it's easy garbage that's just disrespect there's a disrespectful way of talking and my dad also always taught me that the way that you're presenting your argument is so much more important than what your argument is and if you're just gonna go like you're trash you're dismissive it's like you're disrespecting yourself by talking that way yeah you're you're letting everybody know that you're fool yeah and if someone is you know in office or i just come from a place where you
you even if you disagree with someone and think they're a bad person you're still you're [ __ ] garbage like make an argument like what are you saying what's your argument it's just an easy way for people to get out of being intelligent and get out of like having to form a rational debate having to form a rational argument against whatever that person's point is just ad hominem attack them it's it's like it's um yeah i sloppiness really bothers me because it's sloppy it's sloppy and it's yeah and my dad used to always say like what like i want to go out with my friends tell me give me three arguments why you should stay out past midnight and i would have to tell and you can't you can't make three arguments you can't so he knew what he was doing you know that's where all the good dick is how else am i gonna get that fentanyl in my [ __ ] the coke dealer doesn't get off work till 11 50. yes yeah exactly exactly the guy his wife doesn't fall asleep till 11 30. you know so i gotta get out of here whitney it's already five o'clock sorry i love you thank you no i do this once um your show jokes is on netflix available right now uh tell everybody where everything else is um it's just on netflix uh godspeed and finding it um and uh and then yeah my podcasts on youtube spotify all the things and um that's it look at my old tweets they're problematic my everybody [Music] you