Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4cHeGt1CDA
[Music] the drones are the cigar choice short story and smoking cigars with diel so much i know a good cigar oliver um yeah this is a solid i've had cuban cigars and i know they're supposed to be better and i believe they're good but i do not know if they're better i can't tell you lie to me give me you know you could give me a good dominican cigar and i'd be like damn cuban nice i don't know you know what you like when you like it you know yeah like i like i drink cabernet and you know how they come to the table when they tell you this valley and this and this is from this yeah and i just said nine ounce and then and i like it i like it you know yeah but i don't know other than that uh there was a documentary i've talked about this before but there's a documentary called sour grapes and uh it's all about wine connoisseurs getting hustled by this dude who figured out how to mix wine to make it taste like old wine and he put fake labels on them and he sold them for hundreds of thousands of dollars millions of dollars worth of wine this guy sold like bottles for a couple hundred thousand dollars and uh unfortunately he sold a fake bottle to the koch brothers oh and one of the koch brothers someone was like going through their collection go what the [ __ ] is this and he's like oh that's and they're like no it's not and then the next thing you know it he gets his wine examined and he's like bro you have a bunch of fake wine in here and then they find out this one dude had been making these fake labels and and blending these cheaper wines together to try to create a taste that's similar to really expensive wine that's ridiculous that the everything that he went through he could have just made a whine you'd think so but he made millions millions and millions and millions to hustle people but he's he come from a criminal family like when they they went
into the whole family of it like the family one of the brothers had uh stolen a bunch of money out of a bank and like uh like hundreds of millions of dollars right wasn't it like some insane amount of money remember that part and you know he's on the run he's hiding somewhere and like so it's like the whole family's been con artists their whole life and this guy just figured out a way to get in with these wine people because the way he did it was pretty genius first he went start going to auctions and buying up really expensive wine so he became known the wine community as this guy like oh he knows he knows the wines he knows and then he said i'm going to get rid of some of my wines you know i don't have too much wine nowhere to store it so i'm going to sell some of my choice wines to like sotheby's so they would auction off some of his choice wines and then the winery found out and the winery is like we never made that label on that year like this is all fake it's wild though dude because it's that thing it's like people want exclusive [ __ ] ah cuban cigars with with sneakers they find out some people are selling fake sneakers that makes sense it's like yeah i don't know you can make a sneaker so yeah it's leather i mean once you get past the printing of the soles everything else seems like you could kind of do the only way that you can make a shoe exclusive and this is this would be just utterly ridiculous if your shoe was tried was put on the foot of the person that's buying it like right formed it like ken griffith jr stepped in your shoe or at least tried to put it on held in his hand and then they sold it to you in essex because he he he dealt with the shoe like all these ken griffiths over here are regular king griffins but these are
handheld right ken griffith junior sneakers and you would have to have like chain of custody yeah well it's a photo of him with joe a video of him touching your shoe putting it in the box and then it's coming to you and maybe like signing his name on the inside lip right on the tongue just a little bit not i wouldn't i wouldn't even tell them what it was it would be something like they know when your shoe is authentic that you don't even know that it has like but you know this is authentic you got paperwork on it but what makes it authentic i don't know let me see your shoe and then they turn around and they put some light on it and they're like nope nope don't have it then yes because people i don't know i don't know it's like what is exclusive what is exclusive like if you sit in first class on the plane are you really getting anything other than getting a bigger seat yeah but you're paying sometimes like way more like what is a coach c can be 400 first class might be 2 000. yeah it's and you go in the same place so if the plane went down like do you live like you're more likely to die the people in the back live like do people say ah joe i thought you was i heard you was in a plane accident everybody like yeah i was in first class like why would i why would i be dead like bags everywhere like you and eight people like the plane and done all type all type of flips and it's on fire but y'all have no idea y'all still y'all still in the front huh something's going on out there i think and then you you get out and you you gotta get out of a box a first class box and he's like wow didn't know all that was going on everyone's gone and thank goodness this first class he was available people love exclusivity though they love to be above the herd
above the crowd look at me with my fancy clothes i said courtside once and realized that i had to walk up to get out and was pissed like all these dead the further i started going down i was like man [ __ ] like i gotta walk back up that way to get out god damn it why don't they have a courtside exit right that would be exclusive real exclusive you go through the locker room yeah man it was insane all the steps that i had to take to go do anything i was like damn it i haven't gone to see a sporting event live in forever and then i went the other night to an austin fc uh soccer game and it's like 22 000 people in the arena it was great it was a lot never seen soccer live it was great like i appreciate it now i watched it on tv i'm like not enough action but when you're there live and you see how fast those guys run and how much skill involved and tactics and strategy but god damn leaving is a pain in the dick when there's 22 000 people trying to get out of the same two lanes like oh christ and then there's a light up ahead you gotta wait for the light to turn green oh [ __ ] it's um [Music] i i thought of this because i i had this new special that just came out i thought as soon as it came out that they was going to invite me to a sporting event like to shoot the the free throw if i'm on the list throw the first pitch throw the first pitch shoot because in houston like i see other people i see lesser celebrities shooting the free throw from the line for charity and i'll just be pissed like why haven't they called me yet to i'm like i'm like special number four like what's the hold up like what's the hold up on who who who is not picking up the phone for me to shoot this damn shot do you have a publicist that calls people for that no i think that's what
it is that's what it is the people that get that chase it they chase that [ __ ] yeah they yeah it's like hollywood walk of fame like the star you could get a star you just have to pay for it and have someone set it up like there's a lot of people that have stars that are just you never heard of them before they just paid for it yeah who is rudy jackson exactly exactly like what about what he do and he like right by the starbucks walk down hollywood boulevard and then you find out that the homeless person down the way is rudy jackson i used to be a great man and then back back sandra jackson stunt double exclusivity is a thing man it's like people pay for fake exclusivity there was just a bust they they busted uh they said it was 10 million dollars worth of fake rolexes and i'm like well if they're fake how they should be worth nothing right like what you are you busting me for trying right [Laughter] i'm the real loser here sir the thing about a fake rolex is though they can make a fake rolex exactly like a real rolex exactly because they use 3d printing so what they do is they'll take a model like a they'll do a computer model of every single part in a rolex to take it apart and then make an a duplicate version of it every part everything every screw every little wheel every little mechanical piece inside that moves and then they put it all together yeah this is it right here u.s customs border protection said it seized 460 counterfeit rolex's shipped to the us from hong kong you won't even be able to tell the difference man first of all my eyesight sucks anyway because i'm i can't like i have to put reading glasses on so it's a rolex that i'm looking for that they say that um that people it's hard to find it's the silver one with the green face it's or oyster 41. if anybody in hong kong make money making one of them just you know
[ __ ] and talk until i get through the one i want i'm like you know i'll be hearing i'll be hearing about um women getting gifted things this on their wish list oh yeah i'm like that [ __ ] never if i put a wish list together they were like you [ __ ] bum your [ __ ] beggar ali like like women can do it it's weird and they're always complaining about it's not always but sometimes they complain about we it's just it's a double standard it [ __ ] is of course it is if if i go on the internet and put on a halter top it would and put a wet t-shirt a wet halter top on and then and and put it right underneath my my chest i get no money back i get complaints of people hey i need ten dollars for them for the [ __ ] you put on anything people requesting money from me but you do it let a woman put on a wet halter top right beneath her breasts again just put on that donate i guarantee you could be a millionaire for sure easily there was a woman who was working for a friend of mine she was just uh in production of his podcast and she would take photos of her feet and put her feet on only fans and she was making a hundred thousand dollars a month showing her feet the the lady who does my feet has taken videos of my feet and i've seen him on her v on her page of other korean ladies laughing [Laughter] look at the toy look at that baby though i think it's working like you get your toes done you get like pedicure yeah i go get a pedicure like yo i um i took i took one of the toughest dudes like i always take some hood dude to something that's they deem as some non-manly [ __ ] now i'm like yo listen my man my man papa doc he said his feet has been hurting i said yo listen you got to get you a pair of hocus i'm saying he saw he went and got them someone yo i feel like i'm walking on [ __ ] pillows and like hocuses and [ __ ] hoca like running shoes yeah they're great oh my goodness great best you ever made so i said man you got
plantar fasciitis and i said man you got to get your feet done that's a part of mental health health care you know doing getting your feet he's like man i ain't [ __ ] with it i'm scared i'm not doing it i don't know why and i'm ticklish i don't know about touching my goddamn feet i'm like i'm gonna go with you and he's like i don't give a [ __ ] hugo i'm not [ __ ] with it i think listen i got you i'm gonna go with you i'm gonna take you to my place and he said right i said listen before we get in here i'm we getting a deluxe we're getting the highest package the lady gonna put all type [ __ ] on your feet mayonnaise cucumbers all type of buttermilk she gonna boil her [ __ ] with acid she's gonna do everything to your feet trust me tough one of the toughest dudes i'm like i've had situations i've called him he showed up with no problem like yo what's up i'm killing everybody but but the the you would think that i was taking him to the electric chair [Laughter] i'm like yo man are you gonna come into place nothing i ain't [ __ ] with he he looking in there like it's a setup like it's a mob hit like who all in there man listen elderly people come here women come in women be [ __ ] up you know saying listen so he sits down takes his shoes off and as soon as he put his feet in the water i'm talking to him the whole time just trying to get his mind off of it and he's like man [ __ ] hold on the water bubbling i see him easing up then she comes out this tray of all sorts of fruit and oranges put them on his legs like man type of [ __ ] fruit salad [ __ ] is this right when he getting the cucumber rub between his toes and all that he looked over at me as he's drinking they bring you drinks i'm having mimosa he's having an orange juice because he's time i gotta stay on my toes on [ __ ] you can't stay on
your toes in here man your toes in the water he's on high alert this whole experience is not you it's supposed to be relaxing the lady coming in and she she um put his his massage chill and he you can see it you can see it easing up on it before i know it in their sleep lady doing everything to his feet just got she saw them she taking off his toes she's doing everything she i'm doing the lady took his feet off and just took him to the back with her she was like yo there's a lot of [ __ ] going on he walked out he walking out he and he turns to me and said man god damn oh that [ __ ] was amazing man got me some new feet he'll be back without me he won't he'll be back in there without me he know where to go yeah but maybe sometimes it's hard it's like going to movies by yourself it's a big leap is it some people man i go to the movies by myself but you're a comic and you go on the road when you go on the road especially if you've got an annoying opening act oh you know if you go like if you go on the road and you're going to cincinnati and never been to cincinnati before they've got a local guy opening for you and he's annoying you know when you wake up and it's 11 a.m you're like [ __ ] what am i gonna do today i'll go to the gym well it's playing in the movies [ __ ] it i might go to the movies by myself and i and i commandeer both seats on the side of me with with vittles i mean because if i'm going to the movies this is not a healthy experience i'm paying all the [ __ ] yeah that's in it i want sour patch kids i'm sour patch kids i want the twizzlers i want uh this is the only time i eat a box of [ __ ] thin mint the junior mints i eat a boxing [ __ ] in the course of the movie with nachos i need my nachos with jalapenos i need my popcorn jalapenos i put jalapenos in my popcorn ah man i just i'm just gonna have so much bad [ __ ] and i need it in both chairs and i'm gonna sit back and i'm gonna
watch and and and i'll be on high alert too in the movies sometimes but most of the time i'm just in there relaxing and i already have a exit plan though somebody coming up with some [ __ ] i gotta i got an exit plan this [ __ ] kid shooting yesterday is just that's when you when you think about exit plan like people always want to think you know what would i do what would i do if something happened like that like this uh elementary school shooting this elementary school it's the more i'm reading about the more [ __ ] it is they saw him go in the cops didn't stop it they didn't go in after him he was in there for 40 minutes for 40 minutes of parents are outside this video the parents screaming at the cops trying to get the cops to go away finally border patrol gets there border patrol goes in and they kill him i talked about it the day of because it it was um i'm on radio in houston and it said comes across shooting on you valde is what it said so immediately we start trying to correct people because in houston we have a street uvaldi and that's what people heard so we went in correcting it and it's in uvalde texas and i'm the first thing i'm like this who who who went to the school like and why and why are we still in this same position over and over again we the level of concern that we have for children is really lackluster in this country because why is this continuing to happen why is it no security why is it why was he able to even get into school if you're looking at him and you know he doesn't go you you don't want to stop
him to even ask a question i i'm confused of why people with these issues go to the most like what and it's like why this place right because it's horrific they do it because it's the worst thing you can do they're shooting little kids they're going to an elementary school kid you're getting like eight-year-olds 10 year olds it's the most horrific thing the most innocent and we know that this this we know that this is a possibility right and we notice this has happened so why don't lawmakers make the law allowed to be if you commit this horrific crime if you if you go any the consequence is so dire that we that this time this is a like you get beheaded this is once again this back office yeah but these guys want to die like it's a death sentence they know like if that guy's in there for 40 minutes he's not trying to live he's waiting for someone to come in and kill him that's a lot of these guys it's a suicide ra run i think someone i think someone feel like they're gonna live and somebody's gonna make a movie about them i think that that you you you because if i would kill you before you even got is you you walking up it's going to be a problem because you you as soon as you walking up to the school it's going to be it's going to be some resistance because they know that you know there's no resistance to these to these places yeah so you we have to put up some walls of safety when we know that these things happen in this country and people's mental health and people i'm not even blaming on mental health a lot of these things it's it's this desire of sensationalism that these that a lot of these people have yeah and and and and you should combat it at all angles of it prior to have protection is preventive
you know well somebody pointed out it's a good point how do we have 40 billion dollars to send to ukraine and we don't have 40 billion dollars to protect the schools okay exactly how do we where's the money getting out but i've said this about every single problem they have in this country every time there's like a report on the shootings in chicago like how do we have money to send to other countries when we don't have enough money to fix whatever's going on the south side of chicago or baltimore or housing to detroit if we have if we have this money how does it how is it poverty right in this right okay so you find money for for for other things but you don't find money to correct the problems here exactly exactly it's almost like well it has to be it's almost like it has to be profitable like you remember when we invaded iraq and halliburton got these no-bid contracts to fix all the [ __ ] we blew up give them a no bid contract to fix chicago go in there fix it go in there set up set up community centers set up whatever you can do to protect people set up whatever you can do to educate people set up whatever you can do to provide people with better housing make give them hope country the whole country the whole country it can be like if you've got that much money to go into these other countries and fix things and this whole idea of us being the police of the world how the [ __ ] can we be the police of the world we can't even police our own backyard how do i have a i have a plan to eradicate homelessness but the smartest people in this in this world don't have a plan what's your plan simple so yeah in most in most cities you have these abandoned buildings you have a lot of abandoned buildings you go in you refurbish this building and you start people right at the top and it's a tier system that as you you tear out the door so whatever your situation is whether it's mental health
you get that fixed there whether it's financial literacy you get that fixed there whatever your situation is you get fixed in this building that this is what this this recovery center is for then you put you put them in jobs in within the within the building because it's great it's ran by grants within the building to heighten the skills that they already have you and you ask me what are their interests what do they want to be what were you before this happened to you how did this happen you get all that back information and as as as they are tearing out the money that's allocated for each particular client through this grant half of that money is being put to the side for when they get ready to come out that they're you're not lit you're not letting them out of this program just naked with just the skills that they acquired in this program you're giving them a lease on a new lease on life this is the money that you acquired by being by being through this program let's help you start you let's help you start your life from this point and you invest in the businesses that they're that they're starting you're investing in life whether it's a trade center you're investing these people and with the with the notion of they're going to reinvest a percentage back into the building to help more people and you keep recycling people back into the world in that in that in that manner so when you see somebody homeless they're like i'm homeless i can't help myself they're like [ __ ] it's a building right there that helps every single person that even falls on a hard time and then you give people free health care i bet if you did that for several generations you could put a massive debt in it i don't think you'd ever totally fix it because you're never going to fix abusive parents sexual abuse drug abuse when you get people you get people out of them you get people out that situation because the i was in a i had an abusive stepfather the only way to remedy this is to get out of this because you can't fix him you got to you got to focus on me yeah and get me to safety but if you [ __ ] somebody thinking that somebody
you put a person in a position where they feel like they need that person and so you make excuses for their behavior when i see this all the time and people like what why did this person stay why did this person do this because if they were handicapped they was crippled and when you feel like you have no other place to go you stay in positions that that that's abusing you that's what people do that's definitely true but the amount of resources you would have to have to take care of every family where every person is being abused we have it because we can give it we can give it we we we throw away more food in this country than more countries than most countries produce in a year our waste our waste ratio if our waste ratio change then our condition change yeah because if you allocate if you allocate funds to the right thing instead of wasting funds like even even with even with this it's a it's it's people say it's a misinformation in certain things yes it is when you when the federal government doesn't allocate funds to certain people to eradicate the misinformation in me and media in media it's federal funds that go that go out to media companies why you don't give that to some to some of the black media outlets that you say that don't know what's going on because you're not helping you're not helping the situation either you're hurting the situation you're saying that people's number if you know that the number one thing that cripples people in this country is health and then you don't make it where they can have quality free health care in this country then you don't feel like the consumer that your your your the human being is the most important commodity on this planet if you invest in the human being the human being does the good works that he's supposed to do with that investment and they invest in more human beings you create this utopia of helping and learning and not being and not having a phobia of hey joe i need your
help that doesn't make me less than a man because i need your help with something you you supposed to give your fellow man uh a leg up that's what you're supposed to do yes but we we live in the what i'm not supposed to do yeah and helping people feels good it's good for you too that that's one thing we have to get into people's heads helping people feels good it's good for you too it's like people are selfish they don't want to help themselves they feel like if i'm helping someone else it's taken away from me but that's not the case where does that mindset come from they just they just need a better well it's a it's a famine mindset the famine mindset is there's not enough to go around but there's enough to go around there's enough for everybody you know this is one thing that i always try to instill in comedians because comedians are like notoriously selfish they think about themselves they want to get ahead narcissists i want to get ahead i want to get it why is he doing that why am i not doing that i want to get it i want to get it if you can help the people around you you develop a community when you develop a community everybody wants everybody to do good in our community if one of us is killing it everybody's happy if one of us has a special and that special's killing it like your special which is out on youtube right now when that happens people get excited like god damn look at him look at this guy look at her everybody's killing it that's good for everybody and it gives the people coming up hope like i'm entering into a community if i work hard and if i continue to like honor the craft of stand-up comedy i'm a part of this very small and tight-knit community of people there's not that many of us and if we do that we help each other it's good for everybody that's the i think that's why rodney dangerfield was one of the ones for me like yes when people say who your influence is i'm influenced by more than just what you did on stage you know it's
how you your character uh how you are as a person yes and when he was not selfish like hey man i got a platform everybody is welcome to this platform if you funny let's do it think about the people that he blew up sam kinnison dice clay bill hicks dom herrera roseanne lenny clark roseanne barr down the line seinfeld science man dude it's so many people it's and and why not why not want to be that in comedy or why leave that to another entity oh that i'm on i'm on the all-stars of this i'm on the i'm on the the actors of that like why leave it to other people in other crafts to heighten your craft why leave it to other people from other cities to say my my biggest thing is to get the recognition from my peers like when a comic calls me and says man you're special classic like i'm putting it in this space yeah this is because they know the craft there's not a you're not a you're not a spectator because to spectators everybody looks good to spectators but when the people who know the craft of looking like nah you don't know what you're looking at like you don't know how special this is yeah because the special is supposed to be especially supposed to be a piece of the person like and when the the people that call and say hey man this is timeless it's like yo you really put a piece of like man you did it it's it's insane and that's what we work towards you think about that when you're putting your bits together you're editing them when you're going over them go maybe that's a little too long or maybe i need a little something there maybe i need to trim that up or maybe i need to explain that a little bit better you want that thing to when it gets
released you get those phone calls like dude that thing was awesome that thing was awesome and then and then you get thank you thank you man appreciate it appreciate it and then you want to do that to other people too you want to be able to call them up and go dude you're special it was amazing it was that and and that's i remember watching i remember watching dan sober's son of gary and i'm sitting there in [ __ ] amazement i'm like this [ __ ] is good yeah i'm like yo this [ __ ] is [ __ ] good like i'm a caller yeah it feels good like i'm sitting there like this [ __ ] is good man it feels good to call somebody and tell them not to and i'm like god damn it dance over you are [ __ ] amazing and that's the thing you know um i watched i watched earthquakes and i felt good for quake yes and that's the thing that you want to do in this business i remember writing with bill bellamy on this special and when he's getting ready to go out and we talking and i'm like my last word is like yo man just go and just do what you do and when it came together i called him like yo i watched it live i was it through the whole process and this [ __ ] is still good deal with clear i was like and you and i think that comics don't understand i'm i'm not chasing other comics in an aspect of the new guys i'm chasing the class like i'm chasing carlin and cosby and priya and eddie i'm i'm chasing them so what you're doing doesn't affect me or change how i'm doing it because man sinbad like the memorable things that i'm like i want my i want my special to be
in that when people say hey man live from sunset strip elephant in the room domino effect ollie stick i like i want to be mentioned amongst it and i tell people i'm i'm not playing the game for riches and all that i'm playing for that yellow jacket you know a lot of people they they satisfaction is you play football and you you play through high school you win a high school championship great then some people want to go to college win a college championship great some people want to go to the nfl and get to the nfl they want to go to the all-star games and that's fine some people want to win a super bowl but some guys are playing the game to at the end of that receive a yellowjacket they're not cool with just being there right they want the jacket they want greatness yeah yeah aspire always to greatness because even if you don't get there you get pretty [ __ ] excellent because if you're trying to get pretty good you'll get pretty good but if you're trying to achieve excellence like real true excellence where you can be proud of something you know even if you get don't get to where you wanted to go you get a lot further than where you would go if you have low expectations this is the first piece of work that actually changed my mind on something how so people ask me hey man when it comes to storytelling who is your top people who are the best storytellers in comedy to you i used to say just like this i said it would be cosby carlin joy diaz eddie murphy me and i say me joy and eddie all threes we need to be third and then other people i looked when i put the special together and i looked at it and i looked at the craft of the s the
ability to bring people into the story this is the first time somebody asked me after that i said me cosby then everybody else after that can sort that [ __ ] out but i can't deny myself no more and put myself behind somebody when it comes to stories like bringing you into a story it's a different kind of art yeah it's a different art and i've gotten pretty goddamn good that's the thing where ari when he put together that storyteller show that was his idea he was like these stories are too hard to develop when you're doing a 15-minute set on like a stacked comedy store lineup you know you got 10 [ __ ] killers you want to kill two and if you're trying to develop a story and it's a story about going to the park with your dad it's a long ass story like people like where are you going with this but if you could do it on a show that's just people telling stories then you could develop it and tighten it and then get to the point where it might be your closing bit man we said we had already talked yesterday about this is not happening yeah and he was like out of all them stories all the shows i've done mexican got on boots is still my favorite goddamn story he said i didn't know you we was going to put you on the digital side of it and we was looking at the story was like god damn it it's like and he was like i didn't even know what you were talking about and i was hanging on every goddamn word and then it was like oh [ __ ] he's this shit's crazy like i'm like no i appreciate denny said the next one was even more like mitchell it's like then i started like he his goddamn ability to tell his story he's seeing it through a different like whatever lens he's seen it through he's making me see it through that same lens and i have no goddamn idea what he's
even talking about that's the beautiful thing about someone when they're really locked in on stage i've always said this i feel like i'm thinking through their mind like i'm allowing them to take over my mind take me on a journey that's why when someone's shitty or hacky or it's like ah why are you using my mind why are you bothering my borrowing my mind you know like i gotta get the [ __ ] out of here i can't watch this i'm super sensitive to bad comedy ah what like i can't watch it like i'm teachers it's like it's like if i see you and i and i never i never thought this before until somebody said hey man this dude did a bad set and then he tried to shake my hand i didn't i didn't want him to touch me like i didn't i didn't want to [ __ ] on me like don't put that [ __ ] on me it was like let's get changing and i was like oh that's rude of [ __ ] and then somebody did a bad city and he they walked up to me i was like and i start walking the other way like ah don't [ __ ] touch me don't do that [ __ ] you go i'm gonna give me covet i don't want it wednesday night ron white had his friend he claims he claims she's funny i'm sure she's a nice lady and uh anyway she just didn't belong you can't follow ron white when you're an amateur you just can't you can't you can't you got to be a [ __ ] touring rock solid like a set up punch line bam bam bam good premises you got to be good to follow ron [ __ ] white she was not and she not only did she eat dick but then she came and hung out with us in the green room like [ __ ] i got to go up next so tony's on stage killing and the first five minutes he's just roasting her and i'm back there and she's like making excuses and talking i'm like oh my god i gotta get out of this room he dragged her into the green room now she's back there just just coughing bad comedy at us i go no i'm like oh no so i start playing music loud and i'm moving around shadow boxing i'm not exaggerating right no no and everybody felt it even ron felt he's like well you know it wasn't the best
set man it's it's weird cause me listening first big up to wrong white classy very classy man he's the man ron i i just imagine getting this phone call i'm getting ready to orlando improv my agent joe eschenbahn who i love dearly joe calls me and says hey just want to run this by you um someone wants to wants the feature for you i'm like no i'm cool i got i got my feature marcus wild i'm cool he's like just hear me out he's working on some new stuff he's coming back he just wants to be around the comic who is a good comic like joe what's who who is this you taking too long he's like ron white i was like i'm not [ __ ] with some guy that has stole ron's white name like ron white from orlando get the [ __ ] out of here he's like no ron white white and i was like and i and i doubled down and i'm like wrong white white like like like the [ __ ] man wrong man he's like yes i'm like i can't even get my yes together like [ __ ] yes like yeah yeah i get the [ __ ] work with ron mike hell yeah i said he wants to he wants stuff metal he's like yeah he's got like 20 25 minutes i said do he want a headline like i i let him headline just to [ __ ] like relinquish my weekend to ron white just come feature or do some whole [ __ ] or whatever he's like no he said you just wanna yeah so i i get there and i'm i'm already anticipating he's a legend he's going to be in the green room doing the [ __ ] and everybody knows like i like to be in my green room first and invite you in but i'm relinquishing all that [ __ ] because it's wrong white i get that ron white is the [ __ ] constant professional
not in the green room he comes to the ground he knocks on the door and he was wrong i'm like and i'm sitting there all like [ __ ] wrong white white [Laughter] he got he got his bus outside he's hanging in his bus then he came up and started hanging the green one with us and he's like look i'm going to go out here and do the raggedest 20 minutes that i just put together and trying to get this [ __ ] together now i'm i'm going out and i'm going to watch this [ __ ] wrong way stellar 20 minutes [ __ ] killing oh i'm i'm i'm so caught up in what he and they about to introduce me and i'm i'm in the back door look [ __ ] was amazing and we talking and he's like i'll let you you got to go up i'm like oh [ __ ] so i go up do my and he comes in the showroom and he's watching from the beginning and i'm doing my thing after the show he comes in he's like okay kid you are [ __ ] incredible like like i tried to give it to you i tried to rattle you because his [ __ ] was so crisp like it was still a class like he's like man so the rest of the weekend we just chatting it up and just i'm like i'm [ __ ] kicking it with ron white and then my mom like man these places and every night he's just giving me a little more something about you know you can go a little deeper in that story you know because you had me you had me give everything and he he noticed that i would start a story and stop and start doing another story and he said you keep leaving me kids like i'm still trying to figure out what happened with your uncle like i didn't go back you're like no you [ __ ] didn't go back like and i'm like oh [ __ ] i got stuck going back and i'm like like if she knows him like why are you not picking up the jewels from him like she can't you gotta watch if you saw you you came when did you come wednesday night when what time did you get to right when
i right when i walked in okay you miss the chaos it's impossible you can't fix it it's like me breathing underwater it's not gonna happen it's not gonna happen there's nothing to do you can't fix it i mean maybe on another time in another state of mind with different material maybe she could do well but in that moment there was no fixing it there's no advice to be given she came up with a notebook oh yeah you came out with notes and panicked didn't have the mic close to her mouth it was everything was wrong and i don't think she knew she was going to go up until like right before ron went up ron told her he's going to bring her i'm going to bring you up i'm going to bring you up because after he come in the background this is this was the first problem he goes she's a really good writer oh no don't say that this is what i want to hear she's [ __ ] hilarious she's [ __ ] hilarious can she do a guest set okay i think well friend of mine is a really good writer like okay what else how is she at delivering this writing yeah i don't think any of my any of my friends i've ever said today bryson brown is from austin he's [ __ ] hysterical like i'm like that's how i introduced him like yo this is bryce brown he's [ __ ] his jerk yeah you want to grab a guess overall assessment of their ability on stage not like a little tiny area that they're good at it's an important area being a good writer very important but without delivery and timing and presence and never it's are you good hey um she's a good setup she set up jokes excellent she set up tony tony destroyed that lady that ruthless little [ __ ] there is no one alive that you want to bomb in front of when you're gonna bring up like tony because he will he roasted her i mean he had seven or eight solid minutes just killing her when he went on stage yeah
that's it was amazing that's what you do that you have to you you have you have to acknowledge the elephant in the room and i hate i used to hate doing it i used to hate doing it especially i used to hate doing it period but bill bellamy he's a nice guy but he has a mean streak in him that is outstanding on the tour with him i used to host this tour and somebody would ask for a guest spot and he would come in and like i'll eat triple seven i'm like oh [ __ ] who just asked for a goddamn guest spot so so now people don't know what we're about to do to you like imma come out and use i would do 15 i just skate into it but i'm coming out with seven minutes of straight [ __ ] home runs i'm like i'm i'm not i'm stacking this [ __ ] on these people so like you st people still laughing at the first joke i'm on joke number five i'm [ __ ] stacking it on and when i leave them i'm bringing people gonna be still laughing when i bring you up they're not even [ __ ] gonna think about [ __ ] you saying because they still laughing from joke number three and i'mma bring you up and i'ma leave i'm gonna sit you right in that [ __ ] pressure cooker and you're gonna i don't give a damn you're gonna die if you can't [ __ ] surf because i put i put a hundred foot wave on your ass yes and then you die and then i go up and i put another seven minutes of yo dying on top of it and bill's like i hate when people have some forget spots i'm like oh you [ __ ] evil man you said the [ __ ] junkyard dog to destroy somebody i'm like but for that person that did that set and bombed if they can figure out how to follow you when you're crushing if they can figure out how to ride that wave that is so important for that lady mitzi shore that's what she did every [ __ ] time if you were a good comic because she thought you had some potential and you were young she would throw you on
after a killer who's on who's on the lineup for me it was martin lawrence in the 90s dude you never saw anybody eat it like seeing me going on after martin lawrence when he was in the leather jumpsuit days people don't remember they don't remember 95 martin lawrence 1995 my god my god his timing his facial expressions the power chris rock to this day talks about a time where he bombed going on after martin lawrence and it changed his career because he had been doing too many easy shows he'd been too doing too many of those new york city like cellar spots like everybody's so happy to see you you can kind of be casual and he's headlining and martin lawrence is throwing lightning bolts the whole room is just he was so good he was so dynamic he would pace the stage he had so much energy when he would hit his punch lines and hold his facial expressions you'd be like god i can't even watch this i'm gonna i'm going to my death i'm going to my death i went to my death i followed martin lawrence dozens of times dozens you know what i let me tell you like what i love about a honest comic you know how many comics wouldn't say that they went behind somebody that was just [ __ ] a absolute monster like yo man this [ __ ] is a problem like how am i gonna match this [ __ ] like i can imagine going up at the martin he martin's still hungry he out there [ __ ] getting it who's in his 30s martin lawrence in his 30s with a leather jumpsuit on you're [ __ ] you're [ __ ] people don't remember man if you go back to you so crazy god damn he was good in my mind he's like you know when you talk about the greats because you know he went and did the tv show and he didn't tour as much and didn't put out as much comedy material so a lot of people that weren't around the 90s forget how good he was yeah did i dick on after that guy but it taught me it taught me how to ride the wave it
taught me how to start strong it taught me how to cut all the [ __ ] out all the and to look at your act would like scrutinize it look at it with a microscope get get rid of some of that [ __ ] that's not that good fix it fix the setup you better do it right you better sound like a [ __ ] professional you're going out after one of the best comedians walking the face of the planet and back then he might have been number one he might have been number one in 95 he might have been number one he was murder i mean i would be in the back room terrified just hearing the roars i i remember times being places and you going up behind people that [ __ ] assassins tony roberts i don't know if you know tony roberts but he is so quick that's just rapid fire [ __ ] and i used to and people used to be like man you can't can't nobody follow tony there's no nobody can play follow tony and i remember being at a spot and then he was like yo tony's up right now you going up next all right cool i had already been able to ride the wave of like i'm not going up to compete with tony i'm going up to do my [ __ ] and i remember being offended during this show that a person thought that i couldn't follow tony and they switched up the lineup and i was [ __ ] pissed i said okay and i went out and i got a standing ovation and tony robbins was the person that said he was he said he was right there when the production person said so the first comment got to stand ovation what the [ __ ] do we do now it was like because you thought that i was like they they had played me like i was some [ __ ] throw on on the show and they was like yo ali just got to stand ovation and d.l opened the door of his green room and said what did y'all think he was going to do you [ __ ] disrespected him [Laughter] because he's like yo he don't
it doesn't matter where i go because i know what i'm going to do when i get there and i learned very early on because i was going up behind people that benji brown at the coconut grove improv some he was he had my first laughing so hard that a dude came in the green room and sat down and it was laughing he was on his way from the bathroom he just busted the green room and he said man this [ __ ] killing me [Laughter] and you can hear it you could hear because the green room was like right behind the stage and you could hear it like benji brown is [ __ ] destroying this room and he's doing this this character kiki and he's like yo and this is loud pitch ghetto girl and he's [ __ ] destroying this room and then he stops and says let me bring up the next comic you like god damn it it's people dead in here like he's like you gotta go out the coconut grove improv is where i saw joey diaz put people in the grave because joey diaz would go up there and do half his punchlines in spanish and you would have like a 40 percent cuban audience and joey diaz would have ja la binga and he would hit some [ __ ] spanish punch lines and people would just throw their chairs up in the air they were falling down to the ground knocking over tables it was chaos and then joey was middling so joey this was back in the day when joey was coming up and they would have like some road act whose you know did hbo in 1984 and you know kind of still has the same material and they would have to go on after joey i saw people quit yes quit that [ __ ] is that [ __ ] is fantastic when when when you like yo man this [ __ ] is damon wayne's dave wayne's our middle for david wayne's because whatever his middle neck was [ __ ] up and he said he was too dark so they called me and at the end of the weekend david i never went in the green room he called me the green one on sunday come in and i sat down and i said hey
how you doing miss wayne he said how does it feel to be a [ __ ] assassin i said what he said i used to do this i used to do this to people i used to [ __ ] go on stage and destroy people you're a [ __ ] assassin are you moving to l.a i'm like no i'm i'm right he's like [ __ ] assassin that's a nice feeling bobby bobby lee i'm hosting the show probably a lady that was his middle and act and after the first show bobby we had the houston improv bobby called me in the room and agree on saying hey i'm not going to fire you i'm not going to fire you i just want you to be honest with me are you a host i'm like i'm the host he's like are you you know what the [ __ ] i'm saying are you a host i'm like nah i was like i [ __ ] knew it improv always doing this [ __ ] to me giving me the strongest [ __ ] in the city because he said he's doing 30 minutes and i'm like i'm feeling the rest of the time he's like i [ __ ] knew it and bobby was going out doing his clothes at first he's like he's so [ __ ] insane wow he's like you come to the stage by the league next thing bobby pants are off like dicks out dicks out i'm starting with this like not [ __ ] to bury me behind the [ __ ] house i'm not doing it like sometimes you have to do that you have to go out with your your strong as [ __ ] first you can't dilly dally yeah when someone murders you you better take them up to the same rpms and the thing is don't i i won't i want the young companies out there that's listening probably don't think that you murder in the headliner with the local [ __ ] like if it's local that's my friend that's man you're not i'm on the i'm on martin luther king you know get the [ __ ] out of here that everybody got money if you murder you got to murder with
your [ __ ] real [ __ ] real [ __ ] it can't be the the fluff you know i lived in boston and there was some of the best comics alive back then but they all had local [ __ ] and when they would go on the road like local [ __ ] in boston would kill at a hundred percent you go on the road it was 30 yeah it was like the same bits nobody knew what the [ __ ] you were talking about nobody cared about that accent nobody cared about those references to like the red sox nobody gave a [ __ ] yeah and all those bits were useless and those guys just stayed some of the best comics i've ever seen in my life they lived in boston they stayed in boston and they got trapped they got trapped by local [ __ ] there were local celebrities and they got trapped doing local [ __ ] they never did the road if i and i'm just saying if you want to know how not to be locked into local [ __ ] even if you in a place where you started look at my special i shot my special in houston you can't tell it's houston i'm talking about things in houston but from a wide-eyed lens but it's not about houston it's about life it's about life it's good it's very good and it's it's very intimate which is i like i like a special in a comedy club i really do i think there's something better about us if i'm watching at home i'm in my living room i want to watch it in an intermittent environment i want to be in an intimate environment in the audience if i'm watching someone on stage and they're in a [ __ ] like kevin hart did his [ __ ] in like 50 000 people it's like jesus christ how do i even pretend i'm there yeah but when i'm watching you and i'm watching you on stage at a comedy club there's a normal sized stage intimate with the audience you're seeing the people in the front row you're smiling you're having fun like i'm there i'm there you locked in the moment you're locked where'd you do it houston improv ah you can't tell because of the curt in the background yeah we re we piped it's a great [ __ ] room yeah that's a great
[ __ ] room 400 people and me that's nice and we just went on a and the the crazy thing is when people know that they coming to see you do the journey yeah and it's weird because the people who can't i did i did it during the weekend that i was there so the people who saw me saw the show on thursday and friday's like that [ __ ] didn't happen so so then the two the people who saw it on saturday got the whole hollywood right because you know eric abrams the same person who shot my stuff on comedy central and um this is not happening with um ari i got i got them i wanted that look and eric is a [ __ ] great director like it it's really not about him it's about what you want and he just suggests [ __ ] like huh what do you what do you think about what do you think about this like i wasn't thinking about it but not now that i am you know so he just suggests like do you really need that do you like i don't and it comes together him and him and jordan jordan did the the lights and [Music] it it looks like that was one of the things and especially when somebody notices it when my guy called me and said man let me tell you the most amazing [ __ ] it looks like a class it looks like 1985 i'm like pull it up jamie let me see let me see the video because there's something about we gotta get it get a look at it like look it man that's classic classic comedy club it's perfect perfect size stage perfect intimacy with the crowd i was thinking that man because i just did stand up live with uh tony i did a guest i was not even supposed to be here in in phoenix yeah i [ __ ] loved that club i [ __ ] love that club and i was there and i was thinking god damn maybe i should film my [ __ ] special here yo so good it it's it's some it's some
comedy clubs that i think that i've set up so perfect man stand up stand up live in phoenix zany's in nashville oh yes zany's in nashville's flawless my god it's great club god damn it's good levity live in um west nile yep yep though like that's a great one you you this this is this is what we ought to do i always put myself in [ __ ] like i just told art that we have to do um a festival a festival we travel to festivals around the world he's jewish i'm muslim like the muslim jew festival festival review with me and our just going to weird ass festivals we ought to see between me and you take a month to go to all these clubs and see how many specials we can shoot in these clubs in the in a month you mean just shoot all the film all the shows 30 30 minutes we go to these these clubs and shoot a new 30 minutes in each one so you do 30 he does 30. no me and you this is me you me you do 30 i do 30. and each one of these great film clubs and put it out as the the as a as a series of going to clubs the best comedy clubs to shoot especially comedy works in denver is another one i've never played it what i've never played it's like i'm boxed into some weird [ __ ] that's behind the scenes that i'm not that i don't know what's going on i've never mean you tried to get in i'm waiting to get in i'll get you in i'll get you in today i won't because i i'll call wendy today i would love to yeah i didn't yeah let's do that i'll fix that yeah yeah you need to be there that's one of the great clubs of the world man it's um what's another great club that like these are clubs that people don't talk about like i hear about the seller and all right and i'm not knocking the cellar but those like you know another club that they
remodeled he he remodeled it and i think i was the first person in there when he remodeled it it's weird looking but it's so [ __ ] intimate the comedy zone in charlotte never done it oh it's [ __ ] it's so intimate and they around you like improv is a [ __ ] great club oh another club dc improv oh it's an amazing club amazing club dc improv is flawless flawless it's it's no it's a man it's [ __ ] it's it's nice it's flawless it's perfect perfect comedy club yeah yeah there's a few of those perfect height ceiling perfect size stage connected to the crowd rick bronson's don't look bad to shoot them in it's a rick bronson's don't look with that [ __ ] that stand up live is [ __ ] stand up live in phoenix is one of the great clubs and it's big 600 seats big um but the roar the roar when you're killing my not okay they they move the hollywood improv to i think it's uh dana beach it's another it's an improv in florida so they moved it out of the hard rock they moved out of hot rock it's dana beach now that's a nice ass club i haven't been in here oh what you think about what you think about um cobb city which one cobbs cobb's comedy club the old cobbs was amazing i used to take a pay cut to do the old cobs because i used to do um ice do the punchline which was great the punchline's still great but cobbs the old cobs was so intimate it was maybe 140 150 people just stuffed into a room and it was just perfect it was so intimate and then the new cobs it's like this big high ceiling and then there's a balcony but it's way in the back and the balcony is way in the back and it's like elevated it's weird it's not bad it's a great place but it's not perfect funny some of these some of these clubs i don't even think maybe it's me because i i just i guess i don't have a
permanent audience just yet but some of these clubs when you go in it's not even the club the club is [ __ ] fantastic but the audience audiences that's come there you like i don't i hey look do i need to read all the [ __ ] that i read first and tell y'all about it so i can come do it so you can be familiar with some of the [ __ ] that's going on in the [ __ ] world like like where like what man um right off the bat um toledo toledo ohio is like [ __ ] pulling teeth [Laughter] um it sounds like a place where you'd be pulling teeth like toledo man um it's a i'm gonna say sometimes syracuse is [ __ ] weird upstate new york's weird period yeah syracuse albany he's like god damn it man um ah anything outside of chicago any of the clubs around outside of chicago you like god damn y'all don't read but that levittown that that is that what it is liberty live no no the the the improv no schomsberg that's what it is schomburg yeah oh that's kind of chicago it's uppity as [ __ ] it's like suburbs he's like i don't know what the [ __ ] he's saying like you don't you [ __ ] know like god damn it chicago though chicago is a great comedy city yeah yeah [ __ ] that's a great tip i miss jokes and notes that was the place that i and i played the zany's there once it was a great it was a great experience i like i like some of the old nostalgic clubs too when i go there you know that it's been here for a long last time and or a weird like a weird spot that i go to the punch line in atlanta where it's inside the landmark um the landmark diner i hate the green room but i like the fact that i walk through some crowded chaired room and it feels like they still smoking yeah like yeah like yeah [Laughter]
the old the old punch line was great oh man it was beautiful it was amazing that was amazing that was an amazing room and they got rid of it well i think they lost the lease or something like that it's just like being a comic and being a professional comic being able to work these places and touring the road when i was a kid man that seemed to me to be like an impossibility to be a headliner and touring the road and being able to work these [ __ ] amazing clubs like the punchline like zany's it's like that was always the dream one of the things i love about those old places too like zany's is you get to like look on the wall and you'll see like old headshots headshots from the early 80s faded i think they um this is a room that i that i like that i'm very very comfortable in what is it it is in um it's in north carolina as well charlie good night yes that's a great room i i think they they move in the building they did something different there i haven't been to the new place man i i i like i would go down and look at the old pictures and then go play ah because the it's a nostalgia to some of these rooms yeah and and [Music] i i like going there but when you think about shooting that's the room feels warm and you feel like i can do some other things to the room to make it a little warmer and just go in and [ __ ] crush it yeah yeah they got good audiences in certain places well they have a long history of having like charlie goodnight's been around a long time so everybody's come through there so all the people that live in that area know that you go to charlie good nights on any friday and saturday night you're gonna get great comedy they only get great comedians there it's like it's if you're gonna work there it's a classic club yeah it is oh there's also a next door honky tonk bar and that was my first experience with country western music like live like not even live but just like in a place where people listen to
it we went over there it was me and duncan and i think joey and we went next door and they're playing music that i've never heard before but everybody knows the words and they're all singing along down by the river you know like they're all singing along to these songs and like [ __ ] hooting and hollering and like this is like i stepped into another dimension like what is this it is man it's weird that i can go into this same dimension allen jackson like like i grew up i didn't listen to country music but i i knew about countrymen because my granddad would watch westerns and you know you listen to hank aaron and uh what not hank aaron hank williams hank williams and then this guy alan jackson i'm just flipping through the stations one time and i heard you know like when you go to another city you put on scan and going through the radio station trying to find radio station and way downtown on the chattahoochee this is they call me a whole bunch of loving in a uchi coochie and i had to find out who the [ __ ] sung this song [Music] i was like in it here look at him look at him look at that outfit what when did that [ __ ] song come out that must be like 1985 or something like that like look at the way he's dressed in the 90s no it can't be got to be it seems like it's from another time chatting down yonder on a chattahoochee way down yonder i just was stunned by the fact that there was like the whole a whole other world that i didn't know about this country western world and all these people were into it and then i would do local radio and they'd want to talk to me about nascar did you see nascar did you see what dale did and you're like what are you talking about like they were everybody knew they knew about nascar the way most people know about the super bowl i i've been to nascar was it like one time one time and dana
was the this is the first time that she was the lead car so get there it's an amazing experience like you like we went into the pit we went into the the trailers like they have enough stuff in a trailer to build another car like they they like they tell you how many cars they carry with them just in case something happens and they have another they have enough stuff in their trailer to rebuild a car and they some of the pit crews are ex-football players that that got in this just for competition like i didn't know they had pit crew competitions to see who can change everything the fastest and a lot of these people are ex football players that still need the competition and they get getting it on and so we there and i never forget about how when the race started all these cars take off and it's so loud [Music] and how i was rooting for the last car so all these cars were then there's one car come zoom i'm like go but the incredible thing was ray lewis did the startup did the start walt frazier was there and all the attorneys all the attorneys for nascar were young black women that they graduated from law school and they were all their attorneys like they did all the legal so i was like but the audience is all white people just everywhere's food everywhere it's like they campers and some of the littlest shorts you ever want to see on on a human being like god damn like all this [ __ ] was exciting to me i'm like yo why does she have on boots with these shorts like the [ __ ] but you know what i want to go to that i haven't been to the kentucky derby i was in town one time when the
kentucky derby was i heard it's wild could not find i i had to stay in um [Music] across the river like it was no hotels in town i was trying to stay at the silbach and all that like no and it was so ritzy like i didn't get a chance to go but i would love to go to i heard it's wild i had no interest until i read the kentucky derby as decadent and depraved by hunter s thompson i read that i was like jesus christ and his depiction of all these rich [ __ ] up people gambling and and betting on these horse races and what the the scene is like that is this wild social scene of these decadent depraved people all getting together and i was like oh my god i gotta go i need to book a gig around it i would i was i interest in the same thing comes from so far different places you want to go i hear all the rich people doing so much i want to see the chaos i want to go to the kentucky derby because the first 15 when i read about the kentucky derby how it started the first 15 were all won by african-american jockeys and how the purse came about and the history of it and that's why i wanted to i want to see the chaos well i'm a giant hunter s thompson fan you know until like when i read his writing about it it just like brought me there like i could i was appreciating his appreciation of the this just the [ __ ] scene just the wild scene of it all and how crazy it was of him as a writer as a journalist going there to cover it and he's covering it on acid and he's all [ __ ] up and they're drinking all day and you know and hunter's writing was always like that it was always this wild mixture of pure exaggeration and fiction with fact and reality and like a an assessment of the social dynamics like a psychological examination of the people that were involved when did he write about it that was one of the first pieces that he did before i believe he did that before he did his big sports illustrated piece which turned out to be fear and loathing in las vegas 1970 yeah so that was yeah it damn and then fear
and loathing was when i think fear and loathing was his breakout thing they hired him i feel like they hired him for sports illustrated to go and write about like 71 is when that was published yeah it was like the same time yeah so when was the first kentucky derby ever ran oh god let's take a guess let's tell you guys i'm gonna say 1920 i'm gonna say 1890. yeah i think it's like a hundred and it's done a hundred and plus eighteen seventy five eighteen seven but when a thing becomes a thing like a place where people go and they know they're gonna go get [ __ ] up and they know they're going to gamble and like it becomes a thing they wear the big hats with feathers and [ __ ] and the ladies wear all their jewels what is going on here is this at the kentucky derby he's running across port-a-potties and people are cheering him on like this kind of [ __ ] throwing bottles at him yeah like there he goes he's so far different from the original kentucky derby yeah did he fall into the [ __ ] oh no did he was covered in [ __ ] it could have been random they could have been doing like mudsliding or something god jesus christ oh jesus christ that he definitely fell in the [ __ ] oh that's so unnecessary that's so unnecessary but that's he wrote i wonder if hunter like caused more people to act more crazy there because his writing was so influential and so popular i wonder if he probably accentuated the experience for people that wanted to go to just get [ __ ] up and just watch but it's like you have the aristocrats the socialites you know the people that go there and they wear their expensive suits and their big rings and then they they pull up in chauffeured cars and they get out and do a bunch of debauchery right after like yeah debauchery it's right after that just yeah yeah i don't have on underwear i don't know all this [ __ ] but i don't have one underwear like you think about these experiences that people have with these kind of places like if you're one of those people you're like some oil baron and you got
crazy money and every year you go to the kentucky derby i imagine you just get used to being around all those other kind of people and then every year everyone kind of ramps it up a little bit you know ramp up the chaos ramp up the cocaine so is that how mardi gras started that's a good question did mardi gras get started mardi gras is good like corneval is a pretty intense i've never been to that have you been in rio yes really yes that's wild oh man the oh it's like you're famous for people it's like new year's eve on steroids it's i went to this club called help discotheque and you need it help discotheque i remember i went on adam and eve night where they give you a leaf you put your clothes up and they give you a leaf and you're in the club just a leaf on that's it and this club holds like four or five thousand people all with leaves on and it's so crazy that the that you they know that you cannot get to the bar they know that you can't get to the bar they have bartenders with coolers strapped to them where they they in the like on the floor in different places and they flip the cool up and they make your drink right there because they know you're not gonna be able to get to the ball it's insane in this spot it's a live band it's like 12 piece live band and it's [ __ ] insane and you if it's 5 000 people it's a thousand million and four thousand women if it's four 000 people it's 3 000 women and a thousand million and i know we went in it was man maybe about 12. i know i came out it was 8 30 in the morning i know for facts it was 8 30 in the morning and it's right off the beach and it's like this [ __ ] is insane and you when you fall in look like yo and you look it's like people you not
even that you didn't even see in there like oh she was in there like damn what was she at like because you in your element like i never left once i walked through upstairs i never came back like i walked through downstairs i went upstairs i never came back downstairs until it was time to leave like i never came back downstairs like it wasn't happening i was having a great goddamn time like i walked out my hotel and it was maybe like 30 000 people on the street on a side street dancing and it was people on a bus there's people on the street and i just walked into this [ __ ] and i was like like i was just in man rio was insane they know how to party in brazil ah they know how to party in brazil and i went to the corner where i think people don't understand that this is neighborhood versus neighbor the samba team is representing a neighborhood so it's like just put 12 football fields together right stack them up that's how they coming down the street and there's people on both sides that's cheering for their samba team it's insanity man i've never party it had to be a million people and once like going in and coming out was so insane like i parted in i partied out i parted the concessions i party in the line go to the bathroom man i may have had sex on the street like i don't know what i was doing i was [ __ ] insane over there like it was oh man i probably have a child over there i don't i don't know i was i got married look at this yes this oh [ __ ] look at that lizard i'm over there i'm over there look at the lizard and the mushrooms oh my god that's incredible and this is the size of that thing this is a neighborhood so when you when you win yo your neighborhood gets money like for the when like this is the everybody
that's on this this from this is from the same neighborhood and the people that [ __ ] jellyfish that's insane this [ __ ] you got people gotta see this [ __ ] live this [ __ ] is insanity oh my god and it's not one altercation that's amazing because brazil is a wild ass [ __ ] place yeah and i but they put it all aside for carnival yeah man look at this oh my god these floats are incredible these people on top of them look at the size of these things and this is an honored position to be a part of summer team look at the size of that wow and they represent the neighborhood and this [ __ ] is bananas wow it's bananas i've been to brazil a few times for fights they they are some of the wildest rowdiest crowds and especially when bruce look at that man this [ __ ] dragon holy [ __ ] look at the size of that thing how long does it take to construct these things man they this is a big thing they right after this they start for the next year wow like it this is a this is a big thing they representing so man this [ __ ] is incredible it's incredible and this is all themed this is all themes holy [ __ ] like i know i know america think they do live ass parties but this is this is like 12 super bowls happening at the same time like who is that supposed to be is that bolsonaro could be it could be like gulliver's travels right because those people were climbing on top that is [ __ ] insane look at the size of that thing and they lift and he was laying down at first look at this this is what i'm saying my god oh my god that's incredible yeah i did a movie live from rio and we we was at this you did a movie there yeah live from rio with my boy ben williams what was it it we just it's called live from rio it was 10 black guys traveling we were supposed to just start we we're supposed to go here then we're supposed to go to tokyo was it like a documentary movie like nah we was just traveling and hanging out just
10 men out and about and so he just filmed it yeah is that out can someone see that yeah live from rio on the on the cover is me and this guy named g g got killed by um [Music] a tenant like he um in this building yeah at his house like he was writing his house out in the tenant killed him and um weird but i still have some i still have some of the dvds that we did from that and who kid did the um the soundtrack for the dj the soundtrack from after that um snoop and pharrell went to brazil and shot and shot they video shot a i think brazil were was amsterdam was a wild time for me i had a good time in amsterdam but brazil by far brazil just the history of brazil when it comes to wild [ __ ] i mean that's the birthplace of the ufc they figured that [ __ ] out long time ago they were doing no rules fights in the 1940s ilio gracie was fighting people from japan in the 1940s they would have these big fights they'd come over speaking of fights um june 12th me and a comic named steve brown are supposed to spawn do something he said he's gonna do something i don't know what he's gonna do what do you mean like a boxing match really yeah he he saw me on the on instagram it was like he thinks he can buy how much does he weigh he say 194. so that is 215. i said it i said off the top i'm like yo 205 210 is that i already know it because he don't know how much he got them away and then and that's my boy james that's my that's my trainer james and he steve brown put it on there that he wanted to do so i'm like well i come in
town and then people there you go steve brown well people can't do this to me you can't say um you want to box me you know my schedule i'm not going to be in town until the i'm in town on the 10th and 11 well you know i'm out of town i say well stay around stay around and then we'll we'll get it in and james as soon as james heard it james like [ __ ] do you want this guy to lose any what do you weigh like 170 i'm 160. yeah i'm gonna go down by the time if i go down 10 pounds and still he is gonna what probably wait coming in at 310. and that's going to be the worst day of his life he coming because he's going to be exhausted like i can move around on him for at least the first round and then start punishing him how many rounds are you going to do he said three and i'm like oh make it five yeah let's take this going a little deeper that's me i'm like whatever man cuz i know i think people don't understand about boxing this is a when you fighting your mental condition has to be physical condition definitely got to be in order but your mental condition because this is not the punching bag it's not the gloves right and are you conditioned for a fight like spawn when you spawn the next day some [ __ ] is wrong like like like why am i why my neck don't move yeah cuz you [ __ ] got hit somebody pushed your [ __ ] neck to the side that you didn't realize like all this [ __ ] is bad yeah but body shots body shots hurt like hurt a lot oh yeah and if you're not conditioned for th for that type of punishment because you're gonna get hit no matter how big and how good you think you are you're going to get hit and i'm i don't i'm not going to take no steam off of a punch for you
and i say well we're doing head gear no head gear even the headgear is a problem headgear's not good i'd rather have no headgear i'd rather have no headgear can't see that good especially when when somebody keep turning your goddamn head gear yeah and there's a real argument that it causes more of a rotation of the head because it puts a bigger fulcrum like you have more weight on the head and there's more mass so if somebody clips you and your your head's spinning more and your brains rattle around inside your head more because if you if because you don't get your head get turned and now you can't see and i'm gonna i'm gonna it's gonna be some more [ __ ] coming behind like it's like is this something you wanna do a lot of like is this just someone talks [ __ ] and you're ready to do it i my my thing my ultimate thing was i wanted cat cat said he started boxing oh no we talked about that last time has he responded he's not gonna respond because he knows the type of [ __ ] punishment that is going to make like i'm not going to lose i want to i want to beat you but i think i'm easing up on him because um people holly you need to let some things go and i'm like yo watch this special it's hard for me to let things go it's very hard for me to let things go but it's um i don't mind the physical combat of fight i think it's a stress reliever i think when you get a chance to go with somebody that that wants to go that's the thing you got to be with somebody who want to box and who want to fight like with me and james james a professional fighter and when he want to go you know let's go and i know this is a this is going to be a hard day because he's he no matter no matter how somebody how the [ __ ] starts me and you can start and once you get hit the [ __ ] changes
like yo i know i'll leave my friend but i'm gonna [ __ ] him up like now it becomes a fight i gotta give my lick back so it gets chippy it's hard to find sparring partners where you could just bar where like you just get hit like that get hit like that where you're not getting lit up where you're not in a fight you know it's just sparring yeah some guys if they're cool with you and you're cool with them you could just bar and you touch them you touch each other and you can do that a lot and it's very beneficial yeah because you get your timing in and you get real rounds in it's not fighting but it's tightening you up for fighting so you'll have these reflexive movements like you'll see a check hook and it just it's just there it just comes out because you've done it so many times yeah like my man todd emanuel just fought on victor ortiz really yeah victor ortiz is still fighting yeah what is he doing now yeah him and todd emanuel they did i think it's on youtube too that fight with floyd mayweather was one of the weirdest fights ever he had put him he head-butted him and then he tried to apologize and floyd said yeah yeah boom dropped him with a left hook it was like oh no and then stopped him that was see if he could pull that up it is one of the craziest fights ever he he fights out of the same gym on main street fighting gym like with um so this just happened regis provost he he he's a fight at the same time oh this is on the lemur undercard uh who was it benavidez who fought let me make spanish yeah benavidez [ __ ] up lemieux so todd was he was in in his house how do you do against victories big side it was a good fight did he lose he lost i think he went to the scorecard victor ortiz was a world-class fighter at one point in time i i think i think um todd you know when you watching the fight like he he he'll hit me and give me some tips upon something i think todd i'd be like yo he was doing something
for you know when you're watching the fight you like why the [ __ ] cuz you sitting there like why [ __ ] you keep doing that like when they would break victor would just start like soon as they break soon as they go back in he started throwing punches and todd he covering up and i'm like [ __ ] don't do that just and every time he didn't do that like he he didn't cover up he someone's victor came in he hit him with one i'm like keep doing that [ __ ] and i think that sometimes because it's a middle game it's like it's also you're looking for breaks yeah guys looking to take a little break let me know let's cover up here so here it is so this is when victor ortiz was in his prime and you know it was a good [ __ ] fight i mean he had tagged floyd and look at that there's the head butt there's the head butt and i think and then look at this i'm sorry i'm sorry and then he hugs him he kisses him didn't see the kiss then and they take a point away from he touches gloves like i'm sorry i got carried away and touched me okay okay okay okay boom bang ah that was crazy [ __ ] you here bug me i know but it's also like defend yourself at all times like he thought that they were gonna like be friends and they just get stopped like that i mean it's the end of his career essentially because he never really reached world-class level again where people were thinking about him as being a world champion that was the fight and he had been in movies right yeah he'd been in a couple of movies wasn't he in like the expendables or something like that and he was like a big movie yeah so and that was it yeah that's the same attack on floyd he was attacking todd and so i was taught i think todd knocked him down in like the last round like he got him and it was i think the scorecard was too late or something i don't know but how old is he now victor's got to be like 37
38 years old now right if i'm guessing 35 35 man so when that floyd fight happened he had to be in his early 20s there you go he got him there you go i got it yeah let me see that again oh yeah come on hit him with it oh that left [ __ ] the right hand behind him you got him oh he dropped him yeah [ __ ] i got it there 35. he's like yeah you got me you know what's crazy crazy is that floyd is still doing these exhibitions making millions oh did you see the the one he just did yeah he looked fantastic i'm saying he's like i ain't got a haircut for this [ __ ] yeah scraggly i think he's enjoying that look going out whooping people ass like yo for millions of dollars i ain't gotta promote this [ __ ] i'm just showing up hanging out ass woman like it's like floyd wait to get hit to see where you at with your power and like okay now i'm gonna [ __ ] demolish you he was holding the ring card girl's card and walking around did you see what he was doing oh [ __ ] he held up the card in between rounds he walked floyd walked around with the card he put on a show because he's like he's it's really smart because he's giving them his the money's worth it's not just a boxing exhibition he's putting on a show he's laughing and dancing he's got a big smile on his face while the fight's going on incredible and that was a guy who he has barred before would you fight no no i'm too banged up i am too old i'm not interested anymore muscle memory alone you'll probably take somebody out just just mere muscle memory i'm not yeah i mean probably i could [ __ ] some people up i'm not interested it's a man it's an old man in our gym main street he he looks like a problem like just from he's so rugged and so hard that i would never even play with him like
just go up and put your hands up just for muscle memory alone he'll [ __ ] destroy you just like like he just does it so much like the [ __ ] is a problem some guys can keep it up they can like floyd 45 years old looks [ __ ] amazing the best example is tyson 55 years old and they're still talking about him fighting either logan or jake paul like that is crazy and i don't know what would happen oh man if logan paul would beat tyson i would [ __ ] just i would i think jake would probably be the better fight jake whatever the heavy it the better one is jake jake's the one who knocks people out logan logan's more of a boxer i would [ __ ] just die i can't believe that would happen i would just i'm like because floyd when when he fought floyd i think floyd was really when floyd got tired of the [ __ ] he just put it on him he put it in he's so big and i think that he i think that one punches kind of just wobbled the [ __ ] out of him and floyd was holding him up like yo don't [ __ ] up your money this and god damn it hold up it's the parts in that fight where floyd was like yo let me show you i'll give you [ __ ] how big you are you not on this level oh he's definitely not on that level but i think he was too big and he would i'm telling you it's it's a part in that fight where floyd snapped his neck back and i was like oh [ __ ] he gone and floyd was like you could see floyd holding him up like don't fall i noticed floyd was definitely out boxing the [ __ ] out of it but the difference between floyd and mike tyson is floyd's 155 pounds mike tyson's 220 solid as a rock even if he's 55 he's on all the mexican supplements he's on everything they got they use electrical muscular stimulation on him you know what they do ever seen those things they do to build you up he does exercises where they put these he talked about it on the podcast where they do these uh these pads connected to wires
yeah and so he's doing these exercises and these things are like charging his muscles and it makes your muscles develop faster and better oh [ __ ] yeah so when he got back into shape yeah my wife does that [ __ ] you slap like these electrodes on you do squats and [ __ ] and it like stimulates your butt it's painful but apparently it has a big effect on the way your muscles grow i would love to go in the hot box and talk to um tyson he's great to talk to just he gets so high just to talk to him about his his stay in prison what was it like it was different then because i know this is the thing about what people don't say about prison people like well tyson was in there like who gives up like in prison i wouldn't be scared because you can't be scared of anyone like can't show that or and you have to respond like i wonder what people because i know people in there that would be like this dude named brown like i never i never really tell this story but with brown brown was a [ __ ] monster like i remember being an ssi it's like you a custodian and i was cleaning up lockup and i didn't know what brown looked like i just heard him he was in the cell he was in close custody and he would be hitting this metal door when like he was pissed he'd be hitting his door boom boom boom it was like a [ __ ] silverback gorilla was in this goddamn but i was like who the [ __ ] is that like oh that's brown and when you would feed him you gotta you know give people their trades and you can't really see it's a little box when they let him out of close custody i mean i actually laid eyes on brown the day that he came out he came out of the cell and he ducked it's like the [ __ ] green mile and like i had never even saw the green man that brown is a huge six eight man that was [ __ ] he was huge
it was another guy on the unit named win that was from vegas he was black and italian that's how i learned about the pink floyd album he sung every song he knew every song my favorite song was completely numb he was singing this [ __ ] all the time and he's this italian dude and he's huge he looked like lou ferrigno he's huge and i weigh about what 1 120 125. and brown and wynn [ __ ] loved me and they would always be [ __ ] me i'd be playing basketball and they would they had universal weights on this particular unit and they needed more weight because they would do the stack and they needed more weight and i'm like the perfect size and brown and wind would you would see them walking towards the court and i and i'd be coming out of the car i'm like yo man going on with that [ __ ] they were like man either we gonna [ __ ] up the game or you gonna come over and let us get a couple sets in it everybody like lea going over there man [ __ ] y'all y'all ain't the ones gotta go and stay on this [ __ ] like i'm standing on the universal weights i'm like yo two sets that's it i'm gonna [ __ ] step on your chest bruh i'm on top of the universe wait hold on to the ufc brown yeah that's what i'm [ __ ] talking about i'm standing away i'm like i [ __ ] hate y'all and brown used to we had this thing called jack mac that we would eat i mean most people chopped it up and put it in soups and with mayonnaise and all this other [ __ ] to make it a spread he would pull it out the can and just put it on bread the bones the skin everything he would drink the juice and just be like yo yo these people don't know and he was so big but he was like a [ __ ] [Music] tame bear when he would talk to me like man my mama died how to kill everybody i'm like brown that's not the way you saw that and how old were you i was what 22. you were 19 when you went in yeah
and what you going for um being a street pharmaceutical rep which is very frowned upon street pharmaceutical very frowned upon what a great description street pharmaceutical rap but meanwhile being a regular pharmaceutical rep you could do far more dangerous things crush people's lives far more destruction yep sanctioned legally yeah and not only that you can hire a lobbyist yeah somebody in the lobby for you yeah hey the world needs to use opioids yeah more more everywhere fit and all i heard they're not even addictive yeah we gotta study a street pharmaceutical rep meanwhile somebody's scratching at your door you have more fun now like it's not addictive get him out of here it's not addictive oh yeah okay last year they had the highest number of uh deaths ever from overdoses it's the number one cause of death between people age 18 to 49. wow over 100 000 people i'm still thinking diabetes but i don't think so diabetes is probably like number three i think heart attack is number two what is the cause of death 18 to 49 i believe number one is opiates and it's all a lot of it is uh fentanyl that's getting mixed into street drugs like people who buy ecstasy they think it's just xc it's got fentanyl buy coke it's got fentanyl in it it's those people ah like that [ __ ] that happened those comics in la that was coke with fentanyl me um i looked back and i and i noticed that i wasn't that type of person all throughout the all throughout my years of destruction i wasn't that type of like this special is from from 10 to 15. the next one will be from 16 to 19. but in that i wasn't because i i didn't i didn't especially when people watched they'd
know that i'm not this hardcore criminal or i came from some bad family where you had to sell drugs to make it like my mom had a job and i'm just out being influenced by the people that's outside i never i never understood a couple things in in this in that life i never understood as i got older i never understood why i was no honor amongst these why were you making these transactions so dangerous and so hard and then i never understood people doing things to their customers just for the to stretch it or you know like adding drugs to the drug that you're selling like like i never understood that desire in in that like i i still don't understand like why would you mix something with something else it's not like what's the like you have to sell like god damn like what's the deal like yeah i just don't understand the concept they just want to get the most amount of money you know some people they they just they get caught up in numbers they get caught up in what they can do and they don't have like a moral or ethical structure so i'm selling you apples because you're a consumer you you one of my customers that you buy my apples why would i put something in the apples that's going to kill off the people who buy my apples well there's two things going on one there's cartels and the cartels don't give a [ __ ] the amount of people that are gonna buy their cocaine is endless it's the only way to get it it's coming in over the border they're constantly bringing it in and if they can cut it and make more money they don't give a [ __ ] if they sell it to you you think you're gonna buy what you bought last month but you're buying a totally different thing now because they decided to try a new formulation with fentanyl and maybe you do one bump you're okay maybe you do two bumps you're dead that's the fentanyl deal like fentanyl you've ever seen the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you like in comparison to a penny
it's crazy pull up the image when you see it next to a penny you just go what the [ __ ] it's like laid in the water tiniest amount it's the tiniest amount of fence and it will kill you like it's it's like a hundred times stronger than heroin like it's like i still think it's being okay with a little water a little lead in the water oh what would you say that's like it can't be right because it's given to people as a yeah so but that so they giving them less than that they're giving them less than that yeah they really are no i know it seems like it can't be right but if the folks that are just listening at home we're looking at a penny from 2012 and the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you will cover up the number 2012 and that's about it it's a small it's it's lincoln's beard lincoln's beard is the amount of fentanyl that'll kill you on a penny which is crazy and that's real look at it look at it next to heroin yeah what is this other [ __ ] look at this car fentanyl oh there's one that's worse jesus christ so 1.2 milligrams of fentanyl will kill you and then 0.2 of carfentanil you know value per milligram is 250 dollars and you have 0.2 milligrams i'm quite sure my uncle my uncle took more heroin than that well i think you could develop a tolerance you know mitch hedberg had a crazy tolerance apparently you know hedberg they tried to get him to clean up and he's like nope nope i like heroin damn yeah died on a sword i i think that comics should be the most healthiest people like they should value their health a lot like we on the road we're in different environments all the time you're traveling you're in different hotels like your health should be a priority yeah to you and i know some of us we just thought we fall then you eating terrible food if you
you know you in a lot of these clubs you eating at the club you eating every chicken fingers yeah [ __ ] yeah but you have to have energy to perform if you really want to be at your best you want to be vibrant you want to have energy you know if you're drinking every night and oh yeah oh and if you're doing coke if you look at the guys who who petered out real like kenneth and peter died worse than anybody but he was just partying every night it was all coke and alcohol and if you go and watch kennison from like 86 and then watch kennison in 1990 it's like he's a shadow of himself four years later shadow of himself not like almost like a parody almost like someone was trying to do a kenneson impression at a like a you know one of those um impersonator shows yeah you know someone does a you know like a texas guy yeah houston yeah yeah we were talking about it last night in the green room there's a video out there see if you can find kennison doing revival preaching i know there's a video out there of him on on one of those uh in one of those tent revivals doing doing like jesus preaching it's wild man he was so powerful it's he he was a he was a dope comic he him and um davidow used to tell me stories about being with him at the time being around him at the time because they were all coming up together and sometimes they people forget about the theater it was a [ __ ] lesson she was a beast [ __ ] legend here it is this is a 36 minute recording of it without video the last sermon in 1982 yeah [Music] you care about me another pro about me yeah give me a bump oh my god the sound is terrible oh he's singing been married twice [Music] and i've had my heart broke
and let people disappoint me i know it's like to have your own home drive new crowds off the lab and have to sleep in above no place to go but i know one thing i never had god turn his back on me every time i was alone it's crying [Music] everyday i was convinced there was no peace or love again god was right there i'm telling you something tonight you can't get away from god you may think you uh you're in a place where you go well my life's real secure my life can't be changed i've got everything i want but i'm finding out something about age and about time that's it you're gonna be here a long time your needs change your personality changes different aspects of your life change there's one thing that doesn't change that's your need for god amen scoot it up scoot it up by the end of this year i just don't know if i can do this anymore it's too demanding it's too draining people are getting the entirely wrong image of what kind of person i am amen amen and now i repent for it today that kind of life out there amen but i tell you this i know what i've been commissioned to do i know what god called me to do i know what my purpose is amen if i ever cross your heart it's because god's laying me on it amen if i cross your mind if i happen to just you're driving sometime and i happen to cross your heart or your minds because i'm out there praying for the body of christ to pray for me because i need you amen hey man i'm telling you something this world's about to be shook up and i'm just glad i have a part in it i'm glad you have a part in it because i wouldn't made it without the prayers of this church without the support of this church i couldn't have took it amen i couldn't have lasted amen i have one spiritual friend out there that's it out of all the people i know out of all the people i deal with
and talk to i know one spiritual friend you say well why don't you go to different churches out there i've tried and they're nothing but the law i don't need to know about being saved i've been saved i don't need to know about being filled with the holy ghost honey i've walked in it for the last 12 years it takes a lot to feed me amen the law doesn't cut it your little list of rules doesn't cut it because you can't this is why the world won't accept it amen the priesthood is going to have to come to humanity humanity's not going to come to the priesthood amen this is why jesus left the temple brother marty amen praise god they tried to accuse him of all kinds of things they said he's a blasphemer he's a wide member he's irreverent he's not a truth teller he's a liar he's bells above he's this he's that and jesus said listen amen the well don't need a physician i didn't come for you i came for the lost i came for the lives without hope people without an answer people living on the edge of their existence amen now i'm telling you people would do their job spiritually if they'd walk in their spirits you wouldn't have the drug addiction rate amen you wouldn't have the alcoholism and the youth that you have in this country amen but it ain't going to be done by rules it's going to be done by reality it ain't going to be done by a little program for them it's going to be done by something they feel in their self they're not going to take your word for it they're going to have to feel it brother marty it's going to have to shake them and kevin i respect you because you didn't listen to other people you just didn't accept it because they told you it was real you had to wait till you felt it you had to wait till it shook you up but brother it did and you are changed and you are his and you can't run from him amen you ran into him glory to god i was with him i saw what happened and then wow four years later he was doing an hbo special talking about getting his dick sucked in dead dudes getting [ __ ] in the ass by gay guys four years later i mean four years later he was the biggest comic on earth
he's [ __ ] look at him that's four years later besides you that has any good to it that controls trying to light into somebody's lost way do you think if you had to if your soul was writing on the line and you had to testify and you had to make a commitment if it was a final answer what would you do well look at that he gave him a little taste that's impression that's not really you know he's just doing himself yeah he's doing well he's just saying well that was a someone asked him could you do could you preach again do you have the lord still in you because i mean imagine if you were in that tent watching that guy perform like that like god damn what a charismatic [ __ ] yeah and then four years later you're strumming through hbo like hey what the [ __ ] the [ __ ] just happened he i mean he must have been doing some comedy back then because if this was 82 and that was his last sermon he must have been doing sermons and comedy at the same time like look at that he's preaching there in 1975. so really developed his act preaching what's the show that comes on um it's about the preachers he reminds me what show um i think it's on hbo it's about it's about preachers god damn it the name of it fails me but these um what's the guy from roseanne that was the lead on roseanne john gooden john goodman is in is in this he's the head pastor of this church john goodman and uh what is okay i know what you're talking about they i'm talking this is shady as [ __ ] of all times come on um i think it's hbo right gemstones oh [ __ ] it the the gemstone i didn't mean to do that righteous gemstone it is some part man [Music] oh from the creators of eastbound down is this a new show oh it's these [ __ ] are crazy danny mcbride
danny mcbride's hilarious she's [ __ ] insane oh look at this they are insane oh this looks good oh my you can't stop watching this wild ass [ __ ] they are [ __ ] it's on hbo there's a thing about those kind of high rolling preachers like uh what's that [ __ ] dude's name the the dude down in houston the with joel joel olsen yeah [ __ ] joel olsen is [ __ ] high off the heart him and and um what's my guy those guys make so much money what's the black guy um potter's house um out of dallas the guy with the hot dogs in the back of his neck the big guy damn it looks like he's got a stack of hot dogs in the back of his neck i've never you know that hot dog fat damn it this is the guy that had that guy coming off the ceiling like on a on the road potter's house there's a lot of those guys who's the who's the the reverend of the potter's house um that's the dude he's he's famous yes that's the guy i don't know why his goddamn name was just not joel osteen what is this oh [ __ ] i'm looking at him yes td jakes that guy could have been a comic yeah all those guys they're the charisma the way they deliver lines dd jakes is [ __ ] i i um i haven't told this story but it's uh um it's a guy in houston i was at awake for my friend andre reverend dixon jr oh he he told the story this [ __ ] was so hysterical i just i'm trying to find a way to put it in my in my show because it's a point to it about knowing what you have he said he he up there he preaching and he said he bought a horse he said i'm a country boy i bought a horse from a man and i rode the horse for the first time in a parade i'm in a parade and i get by the band and
the band starts playing and the horse starts dancing and moving i'm like i can't control it i'm trying to get this horse under control and i can't control her and i'm sitting there listening to this story like what [ __ ] he going with this [ __ ] like and he said then the band would stop and then the band started playing again the horse i can't control me dancing i called him i get get through the parade and i called the man i said hey man this this horse ain't been broke he don't he can't obey he said what you doing with the horse i wrote him in a parade he said okay what happened he said the band started playing the horse started moving i couldn't control him he said oh [ __ ] oh because he used to be a show horse used to dance to bands and he said his whole point was i didn't know what i had he thought that the horse was bad right but he was a show horse and when the band started playing he started going into the routine [Laughter] and i'm [ __ ] everybody trying to get a message i'm in there dying i'm like yo this [ __ ] is hysterical i'm like who bought that horse and don't know the [ __ ] the horse then it's a show horse trained to dance i was like reverend dixon that [ __ ] is hysterical to me i'm like and i'm like yo i gotta find a way to put that in my act about not have it oh who is it who is this floating that's what i thought you were talking about who's this guy this is a mississippi he's got known as the floating preacher oh he got i think he gets stuck like halfway down he he got the beyonce he got the beyonce [ __ ] right the janet jackson man and red man you got stuck sort of floating here for a couple seconds they're like what do you do [Laughter] [Applause] that's hilarious there's something that they have a showmanship yeah there's a entertainment value to the way they
present that you could learn something from because like like that's one of the things that always bothered me about the alt comedy scene the alt comedy scene specifically in la they didn't want to try hard and they didn't like it when people tried hard they would get upset like if someone came on the show like how's everybody doing they're like oh what is he doing he's trying he's trying hard it's like a lack of entertainment value they wanted it's almost like they wanted the bar super low and they could just go up and go some starbucks the other day and uh so the barista you know there's a barista at starbucks it's a you know fancy word for guy who pours your coffee you know there's like this all style of comedy that's like very low energy you know very reference oriented you know they put up they say a lot of like obscure references to be clever and if you're uh like a a powerful comic like if you're like a guy who's got a lot of like a bobby lee type dude who runs up there and has all this energy yeah they don't want you there they don't want you that you're [ __ ] up the show by being too funny it's it's a weird dynamics terrible dynamic with comedy like me going into the alt scene because i i go in there and then think that i'm like them because i'm slow and methodical and he's like i don't think he's like us like like no i'm not like it's a weird dynamics and then you and then it's the same dynamic which is crazy to me it's the same dynamics as me going into a hood room they want certain things and i'm not giving them that i'm walking up i'm sitting down and you hear people say you all right like yeah i'm all right i'm just sitting down there's something wrong with me sitting down like and they mind like why would you be sitting down and stand up comedy like then i go into what i do and i have to win you over because
i think that it's a it's a thing with stand up that the audience a person goes and see they're not adventurous in their entertainment value when it comes to that like if you like a bruce bruce or earthquake why don't you think you would like a r sophia or you know joe rogan like what like what would make you think you don't you don't you wouldn't like them oh they're not my stylist stand up so when you come to a ali siddique show with a preconceived notion of what you feel like comedy is and if i'm not doing that then you sitting there like what is he doing i'm being the human being that i am and i'm a deliverer if you don't come to my show looking for me to be another comic right that's the thing that's got comedy has genres but it doesn't it's like if you go to see live music you never see wu-tang clan followed by alan jackson you know it's like it's a style of music if you go to a rock concert you expect rock you don't expect folk music you know and like but if you go to see a comedy show you could see it could be aerosmith it could be run dmc it could be whitney houston it's like the styles are so different but it's all under the guise of comedy and you kind of have to adjust for each individual's perspective and some people they want to hear that kindness and [ __ ] they don't want to hear anything slow they want to hear like rapid fire they have an idea in their head yeah a myopic idea of like what comedy is and i don't see it like that i see it as i'm going like i would it's people that i've seen like i watched ari last night and i died several deaths watching ari like yo this [ __ ] is [ __ ] hysterical well he's doing that new jew special that special that he worked on for a long time this is that's it's tight this [ __ ] is it's very good terrical it's very good it's very well written too
i'm telling even the the the small nuggets that he said let me let me tell you the funniest [ __ ] like i i had to stop watching because it was so [ __ ] funny i couldn't laugh i couldn't laugh another second and i still went in the back and laughed more from behind watching him from behind the stage without the audience just listening to it he said if if it was a time because it was so relatable it was a time that you didn't think that you could talk to girls and he said some sitting in this [ __ ] hysterical the thing about holding a girl's hand and he goes he said if i could talk to my 14 year old self i would go back in the future and like look i don't have much time i got to tell you and then he's talking and then he said you're 14 yourself looking at your new self he says he looked at it like yo look some [ __ ] fails like his hair he going like look don't [ __ ] [ __ ] my hair [ __ ] with you what's going to happen to you you're an [ __ ] that's why people don't like you in the future if i go back and look at my 14 years of my 14 years looking at what he's going to become i'm like look man [ __ ] you man you ain't bad yeah hey man it's a great set it's a great set and my role manager dre dre is always with me and dre has probably learned so much about comedy just being in the room and seeing the different dynamics and last night we were he's in the room and he was like he never knew that white comics talked so much [ __ ] just like black comics like he was like y'all all the [ __ ] same like all of y'all talk [ __ ] yeah like you talk [ __ ] that that that lady y'all talking so much [ __ ] about the lady bombing he was like he's like yo this is the same [ __ ] y'all be saying like yo man he is [ __ ] sucks like [Laughter] like yo that lady would have got so it's comics that hate me to this day
that cause i told them that they [ __ ] was trash like very early i'm like yo man you need to work on this [ __ ] that she's garbage son like and now i don't do that like i i won't tell you anything if you think that you good like that lady the disservice by this sensitive culture that you don't get what you actually need to be a beast in this game like your [ __ ] skin has to be toughened up and it's this is what i say about the new generation of the insta the social media comedian when you started you weren't going to what they could just go to politics how it how it raised politics so trump only did um interviews on fox kelly kellyanne conway she only does interviews on fox and i know this because i listen to fox and i'm listening because i want to hear these interviews of people who never come on other media outlets to answer any type of [ __ ] question and they call them softball questions they give them [ __ ] softballs so as a comic if you always get softball like you're bringing your audience to the club like these are people and they love you and they come in just for you but you don't have a lineage of how you started like you don't have a i used to be in the comedy store i used to be as a seller i used to be in just joking i used to be at the improv and i'm [ __ ] getting this [ __ ] together and one time joe came in like yo the joke is hilarious but you need this you don't have this [ __ ] lineage of [ __ ] that helps you develop so you're just getting all softballs and then when you go into an audience now you want to clean uh what i call one of these conglomerate shows yeah with all different types of comics on the show and you don't have a
lineage and you have to follow somebody you have to go up behind somebody and you see the difference like oh you never had to go up after a monster and still get your [ __ ] off you st you never had to do these things so it handicaps you in this business because yo um i'm on this show you're you're popular and he's popular but you got to go up behind rogan and rogan has taken the room on a [ __ ] journey and now you coming up with the hey [ __ ] they like the [ __ ] out of here like what are you doing then somebody else comes behind you and destroys the room again and you like oh it was the crowd like nah it was you it's the skill set yeah it's the [ __ ] skill set it's managing the moment too yeah some things that you can do maybe after you got them maybe if you you get them going for 20 minutes then you could do a slow pitch [ __ ] you can do something where they trust you and then you could you could take them to a different place but if you're going on after joey diaz and joey diaz is murdering that's one of the reasons why i started taking joey on the road with me because i bombed after him once i took him on the road with me in new jersey and he destroyed and i did not i had a rough set it wasn't bad it wasn't like the worst bombing but it definitely wasn't good it was like there was joey he was way stronger than me and then it was me i was like damn i gotta bring this dude with me everywhere i need that heat yeah it helped it helped him it helped me it helped me because he would crush so hard that you had to be able to ride that wave you couldn't be nervous about it that's like half of it is enjoying the person who's on before you laughing so you go on stage you're already laughing you're having fun yeah do you know jeff sewell no he um used to be a booker for the the houston improvs like all dallas and addison you
know all of i used to think he hated me because he would always talk to me about how great other comics was like he would never [ __ ] say anything to me about me and [Music] people would it it taught me that you your perception of yourself is definitely important because jeff i would run into other people and jeff would be like they would tell me like jeff sewell [ __ ] loves you i'm like what he never says anything good about me like to who like you he [ __ ] raves about you like you're not there like you're like the one for him but he would always tell me about how great other comics were so bill burr wants somebody to open for him he's getting ready to do it special and he asked jeff so he's like yo i need somebody because i'm doing the on paramount in austin i need somebody who's going to come in that room and [ __ ] destroy this room and did i want to come out on a high who who you think so i get a call to open for bill burr and i'm like okay cool bill burr like he comes in my green room he's like yo i know you're going to be [ __ ] great jeff said if you want to kill her in front of you this is one i'm like what no yeah jeff [ __ ] says that you like the man so whatever the pair of my hoses sold out i walk out there and it's literally two black people in the whole entire place it's me and an usher and i had on all black and i'd never forget when i walked out i said hey let me tell y'all something before i even start
this is the worst [ __ ] place to wear all black and i want y'all to know i do not work here [Laughter] i don't know what the [ __ ] the restrooms are i don't know anything because people were stopping me like hey you know the restaurant i'm like why the [ __ ] people ask me and then i'll notice that i had them all black and i [ __ ] destroyed and bill came and said yo any [ __ ] thing you need from me like you need me to help you in any way i will refer you i will do any [ __ ] thing thank you and i was like jeff i would like to thank jeff's like i really thought that he was like yo you [ __ ] but jeff jeff was like yo you [ __ ] but he he just couldn't give it to me because he felt like i've been in i've been in this room since 2000 and 2011. he used to be spelled binders before it was the improv they had a [ __ ] rain for us and i used to go there and he just never paid [ __ ] attention to me and and when he told me he got sick he's like i always thought you were [ __ ] great like always like but i couldn't tell you like i didn't want you to [ __ ] stop trying to get it like if somebody tells you that you great up front and you never you'd never strive to be better than that like even with with myself like i do a album while i do a special and i want the i want the next one to be better than the last one i don't i don't see it any other any other way why would you why would you start declining or why would you go there because you it's different facets of your growth in stand-up yeah and i i think you can always be original in this in this business if you being honest about who you are and the growth you're not supposed to be doing the same thing
i've been doing it what um almost 24 years i'm not supposed to be the same as i was in yeah the first 10 years of course not because the first 10 years i used to just joke about this story actually about getting body slammed in the fight i wasn't ready this dude like we fighting and we get close and he [ __ ] picks me up and body slams me and i'm like yo after you get body slammed in the fight you [ __ ] lost i don't give damn what happened after that you [ __ ] lost it's like your shoe coming off in a fight you [ __ ] lost like and i would i would do this flip boom i would land on my back and i'll be on the ground and i know the old i get i'm not going to continue to be able to do this [ __ ] right this is not a long-standing joke [ __ ] this story because i have to do the flip in order to sell it like no i'm not so i was supposed to develop into something a little better than what i was in the beginning the first 10 the first 15 and if you don't have a lineage how do you do that like how do you [Music] learn to get better how do you have a desire i'm like seabiscuit i i see you running and i want to run faster to catch you yeah but if i don't have that desire in me i'm cool with being number seven and thinking and having this illusion that i'm great but i'm only playing in front of these softball audiences yeah you gotta have a lot of people around you that are good too yeah it's very important it's very rare that you go to a town and there's no one good except one guy it's very rare very rare very rare there's like one standout world-class comedian that's in a town by himself existing in a vacuum yeah they're never it's it's a lot of great comics out of houston like i've been around a lot of great like people say what's your influences i start with houston guys history is huge and i know dc has the mecca and new york feel like they have something and l.a
feel like that and i would argue the point about texas comics i would argue like man we stronger than you think and we play we midwest midwest comics i think talk from a different perspective because they don't have this this grandioso idea that they i'm la and i'm new york right oh i'm atlanta i'm like nah we're the midwestern we got a lot of [ __ ] to talk about yeah and i just think it's not a better thing it's a what's more accepted and i think the audiences in the midwest are regular people and when you want to stand up were you doing stand-up you talking to regular people that's not got this i remember performing in l.a and it felt like the audience was waiting on somebody else like the whole i i never i didn't even go up but i've done someone famous they waiting on something like they holding laughs like i'm not going to give it all to you right man that guy's hysterical give it give it up to him la's a pretentious place and a lot of the people that are in that audience either want to be in the business wish they were actors wish they were famous or they're peripheral to it they're they're agents or managers they're jaded and weird and they're all social climbers so it's like there's a weirdness to it like when someone famous goes on stage like oh yes someone who is of the caliber of fame that i but there could be someone before them that's funnier and they don't even care they don't care they don't they're not just trying to have fun there's a pretentiousness to it that's more new york it's got a hardness to it that i kind of like la's got a pretentiousness to it but when you're in a place like houston there's all the pretentiousness is out the window it's just are you good are you good but that's like willie d and i talked about that with the hip-hop scene in in in houston it was the same thing when the ghetto boys were exploding yeah when the ghetto when the ghetto boys
were hot like there was a whole different style of rap coming out of this one section of the country and you had to respect it brad jordan scarface was optimal change the cadence oh yeah other people and and willie d and bushwick bill but then you have this whole entourage of other rappers that came by zero and slim thug and lil kiki and big pokey and ugk and that that's phenomenal that that our first verses is about to be bun b with ugk versus a ball mjg that's the first south versus everything else been la in new york this is a r b this is a south thing and i know they gonna turn up because bun is bun is like um he's becoming like the mayor of the city you have all these like beat king and and megan look at megan the stallion look at travis scott like these are people that's from houston that this horror toby it's this whole revolution of rappers that that spawned from the initial style of the ghetto boys mm-hmm and all that wrap a lot records yeah rapman j prince and then you had people that came down like tony draper with suave house you had all these other guys that start the south rose i remember being i remember the source magazine if he could pull that up the source magazine where they had all of the houston wrappers on the source and i remember walking through new york i bought i bought it in new york i'm like yeah you see [ __ ] the south is on the [ __ ] cover of the source magazine look at that look at that don't mess with texas look at little key look at look at chameleon pimp c slim thug bun b zero j prince little flip um of rom og ron c um no um um michael 5 000 watts um [ __ ] my man right there um mike jones and scarface on the end i was in mike jones video um back then you didn't want me now i'm hot you all alone like that was a big and that [ __ ] said don't mess with texas why houston region
won't be man this [ __ ] was like phenomenal you need that with rap and you need that with comedy you need a scene if if we if houston did that with comics it would be oh yeah that's the and that's the that's the overall look at the overall picture with lo lou with le o and chingo you know chingo bling do comedy now chingo is a comic man that's the the esg big hawk poke man it's a team like dm like it's a song by this guy named dmd oh man look at man it's a great photo too it's the [ __ ] squad that's on that's on jay prince's ranch really yeah man it's like look at that [ __ ] man that's texas and and it was and i was proud man look at lil kiki look at uh hard body chaotic pokey hulk man this [ __ ] was phenomenal man i remember getting chills when i saw this [ __ ] i was like yo man texas is on the [ __ ] map and when you talk about comedy it's like if we did that with comedy with bill hicks and sam kennison theo vidal bruh man billy d washington um rushawn mcdonald um [ __ ] david ray bond myself marcus d wiley terry gross care space dez white um dave lawson it's so many comics that's been influential and then we still we still have shang wang we have the we we have the the whites man we [ __ ] um bob bigger staff it's like some phenomenal comics man we like yo man i r b scene man you you watch the winning game no it's with um it's about the rise of the lakers with dr jerry buss i'm i read the credits too and it's a it's an r b artist a jazz artist by the name of robert glasper and i'm reading the credits and i paused it when i saw musical director robert glasper and it's just [ __ ] alone it's like [ __ ] houston is all over the place you see yourself living anywhere else ever
nah just houston it's just just it's in the blood like it's h it's h town so when you decided to film your special you wanted to do it in houston i wanted to do it yeah i actually i actually i did it intimate but i'm still searching for the love from my city cause i i think that i represent so well and i think that my the things the people who who spawn off of me represent well kevin iso and bryson brown and all these kevin iso has the show on showtime um flatbush misdemeanor he's a writer you know and he wrote in the second season it's a [ __ ] great show and i i think that my representation of what spawns off of me and what i've done when i when i go out on the show like i i never try to misrepresent my city when i'm performing on tv or anything because i i want them to be proud to be like yo that's that's he as proud as i am when i see somebody from houston i want them to be that like when i found out theo vidal was from houston she's been all these great movies um i was like yo she from houston like well i i lost my [ __ ] when i found out booker t was from houston like [ __ ] wrestling i'm like yo it anybody from my city that's doing something whether it's political whether it's art whether it's it's educational whatever you doing i'm like yo it's [ __ ] houston right and i i just see i just see [Music] i wanted to do it in the toyota center i i'm one of the people that i want i don't want dave chappelle and [Music] kevin hart and all these other people that come to my city and played a toyota center or gary owens and michael blackson come
to the improv and sell out 14 15 shows and [ __ ] like that and then i don't do the same thing like that [ __ ] it's a driving force like how you get so much love what did you do and i'm cause i'm not an actor i'm not a i'm not i don't look at sitcoms and movies and desire that [ __ ] i'ma stand up and i want to do it from the stand-up position because a lot of these other greats were doing it from the stand calling was in car wash with [ __ ] one of the greatest comics of all time which is um franklin ajah he was the fly in the car wash and i don't think that the movie was what compelled him what people wanted i think it was his words it was his standard because that was somebody else's words i want to do it yeah with my look at that man look at george carlin yeah i like i [ __ ] it like this is one of my moves like i like i know the whole soundtrack i love every song and i know every scene 76 yeah wow like i would love to be in a movie like taxi with a bunch of other comics and i think for you it's just a matter of a special like this and maybe you know more specials like this people you're undeniable when people see it they'll get it like this yeah i want to i want to be the first comic to ever win a emmy for a comedy special that's not on the network because i'm like ck already did that he wanted emmy yeah louise he can't want an emmy or grammy he won a grammy that's right he won a grammy yeah i'm hoping can you even win a emmy if you're not on a network is is it a television show award it's youtube tv is it do people on youtube win emmys hopefully hopefully it can happen i think that i want to try to push the envelope to when people say hey man do well they feel bad like yo listen i know that it was on net i know them other guys it was on netflix or hbo or something else but
it's going to be a problem if we if we say this is the best special of 2022 and we give it to somebody [ __ ] those awards oh man but if people will give you your own award just by seeing you the the who is the deciding vote on the grammys or the emmys get the [ __ ] out of here who are those people who are they [ __ ] off the thing is to achieve some [ __ ] without them having to like i would i remember d.l told me when i was on bring the funny and i was talking to him he was like you think you're gonna win i was like oh god i hope but i went in i went in it my agent joe joe tell anybody because he talked me into doing it i said cool we'll do it i tried to lose every [ __ ] round because i was on tour i was like yeah i'd rather just do the tour dates i don't i don't need this [ __ ] and he's like gonna do it so every round i was like going i i kept my [ __ ] packed like i was like we're gonna go do the round i'm shorting these stories down to two minutes and 30 seconds to get the [ __ ] off and i'm just whatever job i'm doing cool and i keep advancing and i would call joe i'm like i made it next round he's like okay good it did and i was like [ __ ] so now we make to the next round and dl by the by the third round now i got the taste of blood in my mouth like i want to win this [ __ ] now and dl was like i don't want you to win i said what i don't win i want you to be the person that people wanted to win and didn't like what he said more people gonna see you more people don't come to the shows to see you because they wanted you to win and you didn't and they weren't and they wanted to come tell you and i sometimes i doubt my mentors like i doubt they experienced i don't know [ __ ] why and i'm like so then i lose
and anybody who watch the show would see my face like i don't have a i don't have a poker face at all whatever is on my mind is on it so they they panned the audio i never forget that the cameraman did just like this so they they announced the winner and everybody's cheering [ __ ] but this is my face like your face is right now they was panning like this and that man got right to me and went the camera up and then did everybody else cause my face was like this i'm not clapping for that [ __ ] like i'm not and when i didn't win i was like okay [ __ ] it and then people started coming to the shows telling me how they you should have won and i was like [ __ ] right again damn it so we decided to do this podcast again we did one just a few months ago but we decided to do it again because on the last one we were just talking about stuff and hbo didn't like what you said yeah and they pulled your special yeah and you know you have opinions about things you're supposed to be allowed to have opinions about things but when you have opinions about what they want to deem a protected class and that's like i mean we were talking about gay people and your opinion was about gay people adopting children yeah i said my thoughts and yeah i didn't the the thing about a thought i'm not saying i'm right i'm not saying i'm wrong i'm telling a thought now it's on the what i think to either be altered corrected more information whatever the situation is but that's not going to happen right off the top without having without me having a conversation about it and knowing that error is plays a large part in how people think the era that you grew up in and then your experiences my experience with
things were that people who within a certain lifestyle that i know didn't want certain things that it wasn't a part of what they were doing so that's my experience that those are my thoughts am i corr am i wrong not in thinking a thought i'm not out doing the rallying for it i'm just saying what my thought was you know in a conversation i'm allowed to do that i'm not saying that you can't have anything i'm just saying my thoughts on some i didn't think that the lakers should have got westbrook i didn't think that it was a good fit do the laker nation come after me because i i had a thought about hey i think that magic johnson is the greatest basketball player of all times i think bill russell is the greatest basketball mind of all time if you like jordan you like jordan but i will have a discussion with you about the greatness of magic johnson but this was a discussion about whether or not gay people should be able to adopt children yeah and uh you felt like they don't they're not making children that was never a thing when you were young the gay guys didn't want children and then all of a sudden they do and you felt like it didn't fit that was my thoughts i didn't i wasn't rallying for anything i didn't think it was hateful it's a complex subject right because what your point was is they're not making the children and what other people's points would be but yeah wouldn't you just want the kids to be in a loving family and if the gay family loves them and supports them and raises them far better than being in foster care far better than being abused i think that that's the the extreme that people put on like i i saw a dude who was who was giving this commentary on the on the talk without taking in the whole context of it but then he was like
he's been indoctrinated in this and he his thoughts are he's been indoctrinated into something i'm like no i just i'm just a human being and and certain things in my era work but they saying you were indoctrinated yeah to something like what's wrong with gay people like i i never i never thought that nor did i ever say that did you have a conversation with anybody about it like did anybody talk to you and say hey we'd like to know why you think what you think no they threatened me with violence they threatened me with like a lot of people threatened me with violence and i was sending my address to those people like yo you bring that [ __ ] on if you want to let me wear this i'ma come knock your [ __ ] teeth down your throat and make you how do you think that's going to make me change anything and what am i going to be doing while you knocking my teeth down my throat like what you going what am i going to be doing is this you think this is a [ __ ] movie that i'm i'ma just be just taking it like yo but this is this was my point you your first thing was to do was not to rationally have a discussion your thing was to threaten me with violence well that's one person and no that was that was well that was that was that was a cover no no person ever dm me and said i would like to have a conversation with you about your thoughts did anybody from hbo want to have a conversation with you did you speak to anybody or do you is it spoken to your agent and then you spoke to my and i asked for a conversation and when we had the conversation i started the conversation off police do you think that i am a honest man at least it's not about your honesty yes it is do you think that i am a honest man yeah now we can have the conversation because if you don't think that i'm honest man there's no reason for me to go forward with this conversation right sitting across from me do you think i'm a home folk sitting there sitting right across me mean you
having dinner no okay um i happen to watch new rules with bill maher's last friday some i was tired came from the show exhausted turned on hbo obviously i have no problem i've watched a lot of hbo shows i have no ill feelings about them day decision or whatnot no trip still going to watch my same hbo shows and then i hear bill maher talking after new rules and he goes in like really lays out some [ __ ] and then sam j show comes on right after that and sam j is a lesbian black lesbian woman that's a comic she has a show on hbo which i'm which i'm home and she goes in about how the lgbt community does not represent her as a black lesbian woman and she's talking to these these people and she's giving a whole candid understanding about how the [ __ ] does not relate to her same same thought patterns of of understanding like yo explain to me why xyz and i'm sitting there looking like wow some people are free to say whatever they choose to say and some people are not and when you feel like you can handicap a person and she says on this you say i think that it's a bunch of entitled [ __ ] white people that's pulling the strings of what well and the lady that she says it to agrees and said i think it's a lot of people that lobby for power and they feel like they can take a stance on this that in the third without no conversation if you manufacturing the consent of anything you manufacturing consent like everybody agrees but i'm a part of everybody right or wrong because i have a different thought your first thing was to let because he has a thought
and a person that may not know him because the person who knows me who wanted to special understands to a certain degree but it's not in a in a hand it's another person that has a this and we talk about it and we it's it's but this is a thing that i'm not rallying for anything but i understand i understand i'm not that's why i have no ill feelings about their decision that's your decision to to not put me on your network because of expected backlash that did not come because people like it's a thought he's so this is expected backlash from you doing the podcast and saying what you said and then they were anticipating that there's going to be some attack on you yeah basically but it didn't really happen there's a few dms a few dms i got a few dms and people like what what else is a goddamn heterosexual 48 year old black male muslim gonna say what else he gonna say what the [ __ ] but it's also like what i would like to see is people have a conversation about it like it's a adopting children is a complex conversation it's a complex conversation for everybody and it's not just and it's not just the skill of what you want i you also have to understand that you send if my if my son or my daughter wanted to do something that i know as a as a as a heterosexual parent i'm i'm concerned about the [ __ ] that i do and that that my kids have to explain that may not be equipped to explain it and it's in it you don't have a pamphlet of information that i can go to to explain anything and then i then right after that i did this joke which i think i still think is [ __ ] funny because it happened and my four-year-old she we in the elevator
a man comes on there with a face full of makeup we got a full what they call a beat face and my daughter like daddy why that man got on makeup i'm not thinking about this [ __ ] right now my mind's on something else i don't have time to explain this [ __ ] i said he in a band that's all i said he's about a [ __ ] baddie and he's the band kids twitter so i don't know [ __ ] bad he ain't in the band so my four-year-old is still like she see a man with makeup on she doesn't think anything but oh he must be in the band uh but that's what i [ __ ] i don't have time to go into this [ __ ] right now with her in this elevator right with this with this guy i don't know what his situation he could have bad skin i don't know what the situation is but the quickest thing i can say right now he's in a [ __ ] band and that and people will laugh and then get mad when other people want to get mad with it like but it's almost like the will smith thing will laugh jada wasn't happy now he [ __ ] slaps chris right what the [ __ ] just happened will you just laughing but i think that if you are able to laugh at somebody else's disposition you should be able to laugh at yours because when i'm on stage i'm saying a lot of [ __ ] that people may not agree with i'm you may not agree with the parenting style of my parents but you can't go back and change that my mom did what she did it made me who who i am and and you pick up things but man i never forget mr reggie ran the the the day center and mr reggie was this black gay guy and he was [ __ ] hysterical and i asked him one time i said miss reggie you want kids he said hell nah i don't even want y'all to be here like i'm like damn mr reggie he's like me yelling on my goddamn nerves like but he
i i think that white experience even in this world is different than black experience because my my cologne man keith you have a cologne man yeah he he supplies cologne at the barber shop and he gets the best [ __ ] so and keith is our barber shop and we have no rules we do not censor our conversation for keith and when keith comes in i remember he got his his [ __ ] hair he got some hair implants and i i'm talking about keith has done so much [ __ ] to himself and when he comes in and i see him i'm going to say some wild [ __ ] he knows he's getting it yeah and when he when he comes in keith don't give a [ __ ] about what i'm saying he's like yo man you won't just cologne or not like you just got did you [ __ ] get your eyes done you gotta keep do you have on [ __ ] cinnamon contacts he's like he's like he doesn't give a [ __ ] about what i and he doesn't he doesn't care what i go to midtown barbershop he doesn't give a [ __ ] about anything that we say about him in that barbershop and he's not the only gay person that comes to this barbershop he's been coming there for years and keith he's a [ __ ] crazy man but he's accustomed to that culture yeah and whatever is said that's not bothering him right because we're not violent towards him right we're just talking [ __ ] this is a barbershop talking [ __ ] if if you come in if you straight and you come in with some with some weird [ __ ] on some [ __ ] gonna be sad about you it just it happens so keith's coming i ain't seen keith in a while i said keith where you been and then i had a little situation i had a procedure i'm in the hospital and i immediately said oh you're getting your stomach pumped like i like i immediately say the [ __ ] he's like you're a [ __ ] [ __ ] like i'm just saying
but i i don't think that they understand how black people operate even in the space you think there's nobody gay in my family my cousin though i don't [ __ ] hate him i don't give a [ __ ] about your sexuality so they want you to not talk about things as loosely i guess and not and take into consideration that you would hurt gay people's feelings that want to be parents i would probably hurt anybody's feelings if i'm up there talking about things that i think that's contrary to you if that's what your feelings are based but my actions are contrary to like i say on stage that i'm not a handyman am i really not a handyman [ __ ] no i have been not handy in the in the past but now i can figure out how to fix anything and if i can't figure i'm gonna call somebody to ask just like i asked people but it was all black people i say you heard what i said on rogan yeah were you offended no i bought a [ __ ] lease but that's my i think it's a subject that they don't want you talking about at all unless you are like you can't have opinions unless it it is their opinion their opinion yeah the manufacturing consent well and it comes it's not just about that mario lopez had to apologize because he was talking about children taking hormones to transition and he said he just didn't think that it should happen that children should take hormones to to become a different gender and he almost lost his [ __ ] job and because because he thought something because he had an opinion about and by the way that's an opinion shared by a lot of medical doctors that's an opinion shared by a lot of psychologists that's opinion shared by a lot of people that are very
concerned and he almost lost his job because you can't have an opinion that even like i like i told you before in the first podcast i had one of my old neighbors they're they're gay and they had a kid and they adopted this kid and this kid was great and they had a great family it does work i i don't have the same opinion as you yeah as far as that but you're allowed to have different opinions about everything in my mind everything that's the look that's what podcasts are all about it's conversations are all about i want to know why you think the way you think and if you have a percept a perception and you have a way that you look at things and it's different than the way i look at things i just want to see why you think that way and you were pretty clear you're like that's not they're not making children like this is a different thing like you're adopting a child but this is not the same kind of relationship as a man and woman who have a child and then raise a child and it's like it comes out of the woman's body and it everyone's connection and it's a different thing it's a different thing but i on when people do research they it's what they call a hypothesis it was then they they they trying to figure out if what works it they have an educated guess and then they start working towards the thing is research so you think something and then you start to go through it pros cons some some things work like like with the vaccinations some people got sick some people didn't is it vaccination bad i don't know some people got sick some people didn't i don't think the vaccination is good cool some of you guys think some people didn't you don't think you should take it cool what's the what all these [ __ ] non-vexers yeah what like okay were you asking people to get vaccinated five years ago ten years ago from other [ __ ] but not this new [ __ ]
that people don't have the enough information on just yet so therefore i don't want to [ __ ] do it right now right but it is another one of those things where you have to have the same opinion as everybody else or they get furious at you get extra but what does your theory do but cause more rage i don't think they're thinking about that way i think they just like in this situation like the subject that we're talking about gay people adopting children i think people just want compliance they want you to comply with whatever the narrative that they're trying to establish is the same thing when mario lopez was talking about children taking hormones it's like there's a narrative they don't want you to have an opinion outside that narrative and if you do they want to fire you from things and the situation with you and hbo is look i told you this last night i believe it now i think it's good not necessarily good to have these people upset of you but good that you put it on youtube because the distribution is so much better you you'll get millions more views millions more views it'll be accessible anytime anybody wants it for free anytime you just pull up your phone bam you're waiting for a plane bam watch it anytime you want bam watch it it's always available always available you'll get millions more views it's so much better for you and i think people will understand the thought process of a lot more things i'm yes i'm starting that i made decisions at 10 that i knew were bad decisions later on but if somebody would have protected me from that decision my sister tried well this was like i don't think that's the way to go [Laughter] and sometimes you got to learn for yourself and so i think even i'm a child and i'm walking through life as a child and i'm making a lot of bad decisions that i know now that will
tear i would never want my child to go through hey man let me give you a lot more if i man i wish i just want to build a confident confidence up in children that they will not succumb to [Music] these outside forces that's pulling you towards things that's contrary to your moral standings on things it's hard it's hard for people because they get to school and you know there's so many people that want you to believe a certain way like i've talked to kids that told me and these like year old kids that they were getting bullied at school because they weren't vaccinated and other kids were vaccinated and i'm like what 12 year old understands the ramifications of getting vaccinated for something that they have zero fear of getting sick and hospitalized for somebody say it to him unless you're obese unless there's something wrong with you unless you're immunocompromised the st the hard science on kovit is young children that are healthy children are rarely hospitalized very very very rarely far more vulnerable to the flu and the kids had it the flu or the cope mine too my kids had it and we tried to isolate them from my daughter who has allergies and she we wake up in him and like she in the bed with her sister and her brother that both had covered like we trying to keep you safe right and she's like no need to be with my my family yeah and she never she never caught it and they had it and my my kids my kids are fine my kids both got it and uh they were fine they were they got over it easy one kid just got a headache the other kid was felt like she had a little bit of a cold for a day it's it's it was one of those things though where the heightened fear and there was push they were pushing it so hard the difference between the way they felt what about it here versus the way they felt about it in l.a l.a they're still scared they're still wearing masks everywhere i mean it's it's so different out here no one gave a [ __ ] that's one of the reasons why my kids wanted to move here when we came we came
out here in may of 2020 and my kids were like mommy i want to move here come on daddy let's live here i'm like i'll [ __ ] move here and i told my wife i will [ __ ] move here i do not like where la's going that fear is hard to shake off that [ __ ] sticks like tar it's just stuck to people out there and they and l.a new york people all up on top of each other texas people a little more spread it out and he was like yo man i don't even see yeah that many people get the [ __ ] out here i'm not just and i i think that with people are so quick to give somebody a phobia yeah or diagnose somebody yeah because i like things in order oh you ocd you know i just like maybe maybe i just like balance yeah you have adhd because you can't pay attention to boring [ __ ] that's what it is man i don't want to watch some weird ass ted talk you got a aeg no no no how many kids are getting medicated because they're bored in school a lot i never forget my daughter like i remember home school had a phobia of like people your kid's not gonna be socialized right your kid is gonna be this girl homeschool is way better i remember my daughter my oldest daughter jayden she's a chef at um james harden restaurant 13. she was in school and the teacher said that she was being disruptive in class and i went and i i just snuck in and looked to see what she was doing she was in kindergarten and she had already been my daughter was reading at three so now you and they're doing colors and numbers and she's in the back doing [ __ ] like this they're like what color is this blue is she in the back b-l-u-e blue [ __ ] are we doing man she's advanced it's like her and this other guy
i know his mom they moved him to this school long fellow that had a gifted and talented program they both went gifted and talented all through elementary all through um middle school all through high school neville was bored in class again because they were being stimulated and you got a lot of [ __ ] to do so i think that that's a part of it as well this kid don't have adhd this kid is bored if this goddamn [ __ ] has curriculum that you have yeah they like you teaching me god and i'm not interested teachers too oh man non-interested teachers man this [ __ ] just bothers me and and and i say this and i know teachers get upset every time i say this i get backlash but when people get upset about things you have to think about it i've i've seen teachers walk out for more pay maybe twice the way when we walk they get just on strike for more maybe more times today i'm just going on the times i just currently can think of but they never walk out for a better curriculum for children like they say the school system is not this not that and it is not challenging but you never walk out for a better curriculum they can't get together on the same page we want to teach these kids and really teach these kids united states kids to be in the upper echelon of intelligent children and intelligent people in the world i wonder what we rank at right now in education what is the where does the united states rank it's pretty low in education it's pretty low let's uh let's let's guess 36 i'll take 30. i bet we're lower than that so why not adopt why be so arrogant not to adopt somebody else's who's number one let's adopt that curriculum and put that curriculum and put that attitude in your kids go to school and eat what type of [ __ ] food right do they have a do they have a five or five star chef back
there giving nutritious food to the children one of one of the things about my son when he went to school he complained about the bathroom being filthy filthy and not having enough time to eat and he was done with the [ __ ] like he like he went to school for three months and then that was it he's never been bad he was done with the [ __ ] like it's a kid that knows the quality of education he's like yo i can't even borrow when i'm doing math i don't what the [ __ ] is this like you taught me how to borrow and i'm a math [ __ ] magician i used to i was a street farm school rapper i know math i know both [ __ ] systems like it's like what's the number honestly world ranking when you type it in it says we're number one so the first three articles i find say we're number one and then they start seeing articles that say u.s shows they're falling behind the world and i'm like all right well who is deciding oh so now new zealand is not number one no more okay so like the one that says we're number one comes from the u.s news and world report b.a.v group and the wharton schools when was that this is 2022 or 2020. and i got one that says they took uh comparing test scores rankings falling behind the rest of the world 2022 they'd give some tests to 15 year olds and according to that test where 11 out of 79 countries in science work much worse in ranking ranking 30th but like i said when you type in here like united states number one education rankings by country world i don't know like who's making who's who's putting this together probably the education group of the united states of america said it here too number one i gotta wrap this up it's already four o'clock uh ali tell everybody how to get a hold of you social media uh your special is available right now right on youtube it's excellent um domino effect and what your social media is okay gotcha hey it's ali siddique you can go to alisadeep.com and watch this special take you straight to youtube but you can type in youtube ali siddique
s-i-d-d-i-q on instagram it's alice deak on facebook it's ali sadiq and on twitter's ali underscore speaks you can find me at all those spots man watch the special shedder special it's a [ __ ] great special it's nice to be able to say that right yeah and it's available for everybody free on youtube all right thanks thank you bye everybody [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you