Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgVpwYUrsRU
[Music] and we're up chrissy d in the place to be what's happening baby thank you for having me my friend my pleasure i'm glad you wore that shirt oh yeah i was gonna wear one just like it like this like no miami vibes i um where did you get that this is from a company called the roosevelts um rsv lts and um they sent me a bunch of shirts and i got that kind of body where i'm like somebody said once that i had leading man face best friend body a casting director which was crushing but passing through an accurate description yeah and i was like oh that's nice so here's the thing though you can change your body you can't change your face yes that's the truth leading man face is a great thing to have yeah the rest of it is like workable i have these like like no matter since i've been a little kid i've just had like these like puffy nipples even when i was like skinny and ripped i just always had just nice nipple fat and this shirt what i've learned is wearing shirts with a lot of patterns like this distracts from the nipple fat i actually was flying out here yesterday and i was wearing this green shirt and i when i went to the and i was wearing a book bag and when i went to the bathroom my tits were like pointed out like this i was like i got to change my shirt and then i just changed my shirt in the public bathroom at jfk and then i just threw that shirt out in the garbage wow was that bad well i think i make it worse in my head probably i just usually i've been trying to do be better you know like good wolf bad wolf like that ancient native american thing i've been trying to i've been trying to not feed that bad wolf i've been trying to feed the good wolf over the last two weeks but it's harder it's very hard for me to feed the good wolf because i usually just get up every day and i'm like you piece of [ __ ] [ __ ] loser chris yeah i honestly think that's better than getting up and going chris you're the [ __ ] man yeah i don't think i've ever said that once about myself in any situation even comedy i've never i'm just always like i just always feel like a dummy after almost everything i do it's not that i know it seems like it's bad but it's
not the worst thing in the world because it makes you work a lot it yeah makes you work harder yeah i always like today i went to the gym hard hour and a half as hard as i could um tried to eat right you know stay focused and uh i was in there i did it but as time is going on i'm 37 now i got three kids i'm i'm kind of just realizing like when i if i'm gonna get in shape again it's really i'm doing it for other guys because women don't care my girl doesn't care any woman has always been like no you look big you look like a like a like a metrosexual viking or something you don't you look bigger but guys always like nice tits i can see that you're you know i can see you got back fat so when i when i'm like trying to work out hard is that a compliment i don't know guys like bro nice back fat yeah imagine that was like something you cultivated you remember like rubenesque women back in the day in like the 1800s or whatever it was like it was earlier than that they used to be hot big giant ladies yeah who ate a lot because it was rare to get that much food well yeah i mean i back in the day i mean i feel like it was if you were like if you had a lot of weight on you it's because you were rich the rich imagine the rich used to be and then the poor were skinny now it's the opposite with the food shortages what if like getting back fat comes back into fashion like we got food shortages coming according to biden if that happens and everybody gets real skinny maybe like having some back fat would be a thing people like dude nice back what have you been eating oh yeah i'll be one of those hot 40 under 40 guys yeah just back in nipple fat yeah yeah it's been it's been one of those things and you know what it is with me you know i think what happens is because i look like i could potentially be in shape i'd rather just be all the way fat because what happens with me is when it's usually a letdown for women because they'll multiple times in my life i've been hooking up with a girl and they thought this or that about my body and then i'll take my shirt off with the lights on and they'll go oof something like that noise one girl she was like i swear one time i was i was hooking up with this
girl and i took my shirt off and she went oh [Laughter] and i just [ __ ] and i just stood there like kind of like looking down and then she you know we turned the lights off and we had i guess relatively good sex maybe not actually no i will say no we didn't because i've noticed i when i was single i would hook up with you know relatively good amount healthy amount of women but almost exclusively never hook up with the woman a second time so i think that my performance in the bedroom isn't really that great well were you trying to follow up to date these ladies again yeah yeah i would and they would just ghost you yeah you i i was the guy who pretty consistently got ghosted it got so bad i there's this porn star owen gray you know owen gray no he's the only guy porn star i watched shadow don't gray pornhub um he's the only guy like if you looked at my search history like my girl jasmine my mother my children my girlfriend she's multiple times like sat me down and be like if you're gay tell me you're gay and i'm like and i feel like why do you think i'm gay and then she's like because when i look at your search history because we share a computer she's like all i see is this man owen gray and i'm like if you can believe this i'm watching him to try to learn from him to have sex with you better and then she's like i don't believe you [Laughter] because he does he's just a pretty you know well physique guy tatted up but the way he has sex with these women and goes down on them and kind of passionately makes love to them i was like i need to incorporate this but it doesn't it really doesn't work it doesn't plan but is it like a self-image issue like what what do you think about it is well first first of all every time i go down on a woman i get a sore throat so that always pretty much explains like a recola in your mouth before you do it i've tried everything i also have a short tongue so i it doesn't so i always my tongue which from what owen gray does is he's he uses a lot of his tongue and my
tongue doesn't really uh it doesn't have the um endurance because it's so short like i i i all my friends when i were teenagers everyone went and got their tongue pierced and i was gonna do it i was brave enough to do what yeah and then the tongue guy wait a minute yeah all your guy friends got their tongue pierced it was a big thing you did it too i i did not almost all my guy friends did what what happened there i mean i was on metal bands so i've kind of been leaning towards that crowd that's weird yeah no jamie you kind of look like john travolta did anyone ever tell you that do people tell them that all the time not recently but uh yeah you do have cause i've never seen you i've heard of you but there's really no pictures of you online i was while i was watching on gray last night i tried to incorporate you and i never but you do have a giant but not that but i mean like a in shape good looking thank you yeah what did he gad said said you look like uh alec baldwin no it's bill maher bill maher yeah yeah because john travolta now looks like if you and joe had a baby that's what georgia looks like right now if we just put john's face on joe's head there you go i met john chevalte once you guys ever meet him yeah i met him yeah yeah i met him at fear factor his wife uh uh kelly preston you've since passed uh she was on the show oh wow yeah yeah i did um david letterman in 2013 and it was first time on television doing anything and it was a big deal for me not only get stand up on on letterman but john travolta was the other guest so i remember like that week like my mother was just telling all her friends she was like i'm gonna go see john travolta on letterman and i was like also like your son is doing stand-up but she never she just cared about travalta she was like i can't believe she was kept picking out different dresses she's like what do i wear and so i did and my mom and dad who were divorced it was one of the first times just before i had my kid my first child so before i had my first child my mom and dad never talked they had like a divorce and they just you know
especially as i got over 18 they were just like we don't talk anymore so it was one of these things where like it was the first time like my mom and dad were going to be in the same room and and i'm so it's like all nerve-wracking and i'm about to go do the show i bought a suit the night before from this place joseph a bank there was something like a strip mall in sios at long island and it was like three sizes too big so i just had this oversized suit on i was like really nervous and i go down and john travolta is on the couch you know um crushing it he's john travolta and then i'm about to go up next to do stand up and he um the you know the commercial break happens and he's walking out and i'm standing there like nervous with my 3x suit and he stops and he looks at me and he goes you live on a beautiful suit i was like thank you i was like i feel like it's too big and he was like no it's beautiful i was like oh yeah and my mom's sitting right there [ __ ] dying that travolta's like looking at me she's like trying to smell his breath and so travolta says to me he goes what do you what do you do what's your talent i'll never forget he goes what's your talent i was like oh uh i'm a stand-up comic and he was like oh very nice and then he was like you seem a little nervous and i was like yeah yeah and then and then he puts his hand on my chest like it just puts his hand right on my chest like right jesus right in the right right in the middle right in the heart right on the no seriously like right in the middle and and and i was in my head because i was like you know i got nipples so i was like i hope he doesn't think like you know i'm not jacked and then and then he and then he goes um why is your heart beating so fast and i was like because you're you're judge vaulting you're massaging my nipple and he goes don't it was he goes don't be nervous about what you're about to do and he goes you've done it already and i said no i'm actually going on after you i haven't done it yet he goes no you've done it already it's over and i was like are you stupid i no are you dumb [ __ ] i was like
i was like i'm going on next and he was like the work is done and then i i was just like what do you mean and then the whole time his hand is on my chest he goes i'm sure that mr letterman had to vet you personally i'm sure that you've had to practice this set a thousand times before you got to this moment so the work is over so now you just have to go be in the present that's your only job is to be in the present because the the set that you're about to do is done you've completed the work already now it's just living the moment which is the fun part of the hard part of the journey but the hard part is over all these words and my heart is like slowly going down like i swear i was getting like very very calm and he goes i'm going to stand right here and i want to watch you live this moment he goes this is rare that i get to see this at the level i'm at in my career to see someone get to begin their journey in entertainment he goes i'm going to see her i want to watch every second of this i'm going to be here for you and i and with that the letterman people are like chris you're on next and give me that little push david letterman this whole time i hadn't even listened david letterman was already being like and our next guest you know stand-up comic you know making his uh uh appearance making his national television debut on the david letterman show i didn't even hear any part i just hear please welcome chris to stefano and with that i'm going out yeah look how big my [ __ ] suit is play it out play it out oh go go from the beginning so you you had just been touched by john travolta he is in that back corner literally if you look closely i almost have a boner and look how big that suit is thank you oh it looks good you guys doing i'm from new york you can tell i put on the new york accent that was done it's not new york it's new york just skip the r always we don't need to i don't want to do this to you yeah it's all good and um it's the worst thing ever
i know anybody who wants to have like a viewing party with their special i'm like what the [ __ ] is that i don't explain that to me i've been invited to those before i don't ever i just had a netflix special come out especially weshy on netflix and they were like do you want to do a video congratulations thank you and i was like do you want to do a viewing party they were like do you want to do a union party i said absolutely not i said as a matter of fact i don't even want you to tell me what date it's being released i don't want to know anything about it i literally i still i won't watch it at all i'll watch it for myself to you know try to get better but have other people make them do that never in a million not in a million years just like i don't want you to come to my birthday party like i don't need that at all you don't need to celebrate me well a birthday party is not the worst thing in the world but there's something about a sp birthday party's for everybody right you know you sing happy birthday it takes five seconds you know but the party's for everybody right but a special thing it's like look at me no come watch me yeah it's me everybody by the way how did you like me here i am it's not i don't want to do it at all i don't even like watching the edits like i have to edit a special i [ __ ] hate it well the netflix special what was awesome about that experience was is because i was going to put it on youtube i was like everybody was saying no to me netflix said no hbo said no everyone was saying no no no so i said you know what [ __ ] this i'm just gonna put it on youtube self-produce it directed by homeless pimp mike laven who does all my podcasts great guy and we said we're just gonna do this together i'm gonna give it to youtube i don't care whatever the views are they are everyone's saying no [ __ ] everybody and at the end of the special i even say i'm not given this is on youtube thank you for the for the to the fans for giving me a a career here i'm putting the [ __ ] on youtube but if netflix wants to buy it you know i'll sell it to you and then so i just made it and then we were going to put it on youtube in like three days and then my agent was like let me just send this to netflix and so when we sent
it to netflix they got back to us in like 12 hours they're like we'll buy this and then i got on a call with them and i was like look i know it's going to sound insane what i'm about to say i said because i absolutely respect you netflix i really really do i said but i i'm happy with where my career is now and where it's hopefully going i said so i will give this to you but no notes at all it has to be as is damn and i said i know that and i even said i said i know i'm not you know a legendary comic or anything like that just yet and i know that i maybe don't have any power to you i get that i said but i'm so comfortable with just having the career that my fans are giving me with completely avoiding corporations up until now so i will give this to you but you have to let me put it up no edits and let me keep 15 minutes of it to put on my own youtube and that's it and they were like a little shocked they were like are you okay and then i said very respectfully i said i don't think i'm bigger or better than you there's none of that's true i said i have the life that i want the career i want without you guys right now i said so i'm going to continue focusing on that but i would love to have it on your platform but i just want the final saying everything and they gave it to me and they they put it on and it was on the trending now page for for a pretty long time and i think that's because of the podcast fans and the internet fans like pushed it over it didn't make the top 10 or anything but i'm you know pretty proud of it i think john top 10 of what you know how like netflix top 10 it makes it into the netflix does a top 10. oh these are the top 10 like most viral uh shows we have yeah but come dude they have hundreds of thousands of shows yeah i guess that's right i mean you can't think like that i fed the bad wolf again yeah the [ __ ] that wolf yeah you can't think like that at all the top ten like what what why wh why do you care i know i mean well because i go through i go through phases where sometimes i care sometimes i don't well i was fascinated by that because you're this good looking guy you're a very good looking guy and i pay
attention to your stuff and you've all this anxiety talk anxiety talking you know how many [ __ ] ugly people would be so pumped to look like you do you know how many people like your successful comedy career you know you've got a family you got a lot going on you you've got all this positivity but you have some sort of weird thing i think that there's uh a thing in me where i i always feel um i always feel like um like like a like an impersonator you know like i'm i'm sorry an imposter where i'm like but i felt that way since i've been a little kid yeah but everybody feels that way yeah so i think what happens with me what everything well hold on do you want me to finish the travolta story oh sure knows more too well well the reason why there's more to it is because travolta i told you he goes he kept telling me you know i'm gonna watch this moment and all that and it was the most um calm i ever was still to this day doing tv like i was more calm the first time doing that five minute letterman set than i was doing a whole netflix special or whatever i was so calm because of his words and then when you came backstage was he naked when i came backstage i was looking to see him and he was gone and i said to my mom i was like mom where's john travolta she goes he left immediately as soon as you said hi my name's chris he walked away left went on he so he just did that for you for me which at first i was angry i was like where's john and then as time went on it was like oh that's the nicest thing anyone could have ever done for me and and what i learned in that experience was yeah actually i liked i liked john travolta and um you know um he was cool and also you know getting up to that moment he was right because what i for had forgotten is i had been practicing that letterman set for you know however many months and then you know you have to get um the bookers have to come and watch you and they kept watching me do the set for i do it 10 times 20 times and every time it would be good and they wouldn't book me this went on for months and then finally one night i did it and i bombed with the same five-minute
set like really like a full zero from start to finish just eating it sweat down my back on the top of my ass crack like a full bomb or you're like oh god and i go get home i have a missed call from my manager and i'm like and i'm like i blew letterman like it's it's not gonna happen he goes no they booked you for next tuesday and i was like what so then i go do the show the travolta thing happens and when i'm leaving i say to the booker i said i was i thought i wasn't going to get this because i bombed like so hard with it i thought you guys were like that's it he goes no that's why we booked you because you had never been on television before we needed to know that you could fail gracefully and that you weren't gonna bomb on national television and then implode so we saw how how gracefully you bombed and just made fun of it so it was kind of one of those things even though it's not that's just it's not even it's more than comedy it's like i've learned now like oh you fail you're just going to fail so and it's the way you fail so but i think the reason i bring that up is because i think that only now in my life is my anxiety going down to a place that's like i don't want to say non-existent but it's so much lower so it's manageable it's so much more manageable i two things happened one the end my anxiety my pandora's box of anxiety got opened on 9 11 because on 9 11 my mother worked in the second tower that was hit she survived but at that moment i went to an all boy catholic high school and at that moment i the teachers just came in and said boys the towers have went the towers have went down we didn't even know about the planes that he just said the towers have collapsed the twin towers have collapsed and we could see it out my window from where my high school was in queens you could the faces downtown so we could see it see the smoke you know and i knew my mother worked on like the 50th floor of the of one of those towers so i just said she's dead and trying to call her phone lines busy phone lines busy nothing is you know i can't get through her and i just started to like hysterical cry like this emotion like it was literally like a box opened up in a
part of my brain that was like all your fears out that you've been trying to suppress since you were a little kid out because i was like she's dead so i i just started like crying and i got like so angry and this kid frank started to laugh at me so i broke a chair right over his head like in the middle of all this at like 9 55 in the morning was laughing at you because your mother was dead well but he didn't know he he thought he was like you know we're an all-boy catholic high school he didn't know anything about i'm just crying in history class so he's like look at this stefanos [ __ ] idiot you know you would laugh at on september 10th i would laugh at him if he was crying because it was like what what are you doing you lunatic and nobody knew the significance of it just then and i hadn't said oh i think my mom said i just was thinking about it i was like oh my god like she's dead and so i just got mad and i broke the chair over his head and you in all boy catholic high school is very very strict i mean you would get detention if you showed up if you had a top button unbuttoned or you know you have to have the buttons button to the top of the tie you would get detention for that so now i just put somebody in a coma so now it's he really in a coma he looked like he was i mean that kid was on the floor not moving because i [ __ ] you know and i would be honest i at that point i was on i was doing d balls i was doing a little steroids which could be contributing to the uh tit fat i have now but but i you were doing steroids in high school i was 17 yeah i was trying i just wanted to be that you know we were idiots i'm from like deep in brooklyn queens like you know new york idiots so we all we had everybody who's doing d balls winstrol jesus yeah like crazy so and so i just this man broke the chair over his head and you know my mother is a very intellectual woman very smart very sophisticated and my father is like a criminal he was in and out of jail before i was born when i was a little kid for my whole life just in and out of prison always you know a guy from the bronx italian guy
kind of one of those guys never knew what he did for a living that's how i know like growing when i would grow up be like you know you know i hear somebody say you know who my father is you know my uncles i'm like they're probably not anybody because i feel like i'm have this life a little bit and i would never share that with anybody i don't think that's cool as a matter of fact it's like sad when you have to like think about like what is what are my dad and his friends up to did they hurt somebody like what what's going on so anytime i would hear that growing up like you're a [ __ ] you're a you're a wannabe but the wannabes are the guys you gotta watch out for because those are the guys a real italian mafia guy would never probably hurt you unless you hurt them but these wannabes will like try to prove something so i my father was i guess a real guy and he uh and you know i got through i i the principal on tuesday september 11th because again i just hit somebody over there with a chair was like you're out of here just definitely get the [ __ ] out and then i'm like wow okay so i go home i get home and i'm trying to call my mother trying to call my mother and dude outside a lot see the thing is like living in 911 like actually being in new york city there it's like there was a lot of things that like didn't make the news like right away like again old boy catholic high school mostly cops and firing my school like the immediate like racism that was completely displaced i saw like when we left the school there was a grocery store uh like where everyone would get their bagels and coffees and stuff in the morning indian like seek indian you know turbans they this kid threw a [ __ ] garbage can right through their window and was like yelling at there like you [ __ ] did this you're gonna pay for this i was like shut up dude this kid john i was like you weigh 110 pounds you have [ __ ] psoriasis shut up what are you gonna do you know so but he i remember that i was like wow this this is crazy like what's happening and then going home trying to call my mother trying to call my mother can't get in touch with her can't get in touch with
her and then i'm just preparing i called my aunt who lived who worked in brooklyn and she's like every my mom has four sisters she's like every one of your aunts everybody checked in with me beside your mother we don't know where she is and i was like oh my god so i get home this is like three o'clock in the afternoon i get home i run up the stairs because all i want to do is like go lay in my mom's bed and like smell her scent or just some like i was like panicking and that's what i want to do is like if i can smell my mom then she's there like my sense if i get the senses of her she's here and i'll calm down she'll calm me down even though in my brain's telling you she's dead but just smell her so i'm open opening my apartment dorm and she's standing there right there and i was like and i thought it was a ghost like i genuinely in my brain was like she's a ghost i'm having like a vision and i went to go hug her thinking my i was going to hug through her and then it was her and i was like and then she had blood all down her knees and i was like oh my god like what happened what she was like i got out of the building and then we walked across the brooklyn bridge and then i got on a bus she's like and i fell off the bus in brooklyn i was like you escaped 9 11 and then you fall off the bus in brooklyn she was like there was a pothole there so she fall she has blood and i'm like and then right away i turned into that kid john i was like i'm in a [ __ ] i'm going to war for you mom you know like that anger [ __ ] you know the wind stroll anger the d-ball anger and so i didn't tell my mom though that i just cried you know that frank might be dead too i didn't say that and then wednesday all of school is closed so you know i'm just thinking about [ __ ] what how what's gonna happen on thursday if school opens all schools closed and um all new york city schools were closed and then thursday morning i got a decision to make because the principal had said i was kicked out so i was like you know i'm just gonna walk i'm just gonna go to school so i go
back to school and i try to walk in like nothing happened i was like maybe they forgot about that's a national tragedy and then brother rob is right there he goes to stefano get the [ __ ] out of here you're still expelled i was like all right i mean country's at war now i mean my mother fell off the bus in brooklyn you're still going to expel me and he was like you're expelled i was like how's frank he was a kirk's belt i was like okay so i'm like [ __ ] my mother's all upset of course she's still shaking from 9 11 as many people were i'm like i gotta call my dad and again my dad great guy my father really great guy but you know a street guy like a bronx real street guy so i called my father for a pay phone and i'm like dad um you know i'm i'm sorry like i let you down but you know on tuesday i was just worried about my mom and his kids started laughing at me i was crying and i broke a chair over this kid frank's head and now they threw me out they threw me out of school and he goes uh he goes did anybody see you do it i was like yeah i did it in front of the whole class he was like okay he was like um i'll be down there in about 30 minutes i was like you live on he lives in staten island you know traffic to queens at 9 30 in the morning would take like two hours to get there somehow he shows up in like 45 minutes i'll never forget wearing like a new york yankees batting practice jacket like a like a dunkin donuts coffee huge chain on just ready to go and he goes um you do everything i tell you to do i was like okay so we you need a meeting with a principal you know of a school especially any school but we walk into the principal's office to the secretary and the secretary uh is like can i help you my dad's like yeah i got a meeting with the principal and she's like you're not on the list sir he goes i'm going in and then he just opens his door and the principal's on the phone and my dad goes can i speak to you can we speak to you i'm chris's dad and the principal's like um you need a meeting sir and he goes and your son's expelled and he goes uh okay and then he hangs up the principal's phone he just puts his
fingers on the receiver and he goes you're not on the phone anymore so we can have a conversation and i was like oh my god so it's all true so i'm just sitting there like okay this is bad so my dad goes very calmly my dad goes listen he goes my son allegedly hit somebody in the head with the chair and brother's like it's not a legend we saw it he goes it's allegedly you don't have cameras in here do you and he was like what he was like no but there's witnesses and the kids in the hospital he goes i'll take care of the kid in the hospital don't worry about the kid in the hospital he goes you can't throw my son out of school you just can't do it and then my brother rob is like we have to throw your son out of school he just hits put somebody in a coma and he goes no he goes listen i could throw him out of school it was a national tragedy he got emotional don't worry about it and he goes don't throw him out of school and brother said brother rob says i'm throwing him out of school and there's nothing you can do and then my dad rolls like a wad of hundreds at brother rob and he goes don't throw him out of school and brother rob goes you're gonna bribe a man of god and my dad goes i lost god september 21st 1979. that's like a date that's like burned in my head i'm like what the [ __ ] what does that date mean and then look back he was in prison at that time so i'm like i don't know what happened maybe there was a shower situation maybe something went down i was like i'm not gonna ask my dad but i was like september 21st 1979 wow like he said that [ __ ] quick and with full eye contact no blinks i was like all right dad you got you should go to therapy but whatever we're here now and and so so my dad says to brother rob he goes listen he goes don't throw my son out of school okay there has to be another way let's talk like gentlemen there has to be another way and then he says to my father go sir are you stupid or something he's expelled from school and then my dad looks at me and he looks at brother rob and he goes chris did he did he just call me stupid and i was like you know it sounded like a dad but you know he's
he's a man of god i'm sorry i was like no no habla no habla english and he goes um do me a favor chris locked the door and i was like what he goes just lock the door and so i got up and locked the door i didn't know like what else to do i was like oh i was like i feel like i'm [ __ ] gonna get hit here too like my i've never seen my dad like this just angry so i get up i lock the door and he goes you really offended me with the words you've chose to call in to call me because it really hurt my feelings actually he goes so now you have two options he goes the second option really sucks for you i would choose the first he goes the first option just put my son back in school okay easy breezy no problems ass i'll sign whatever forms you want he goes back to school he goes the second option and again this one sucks for you he goes i'm going to come over there and i'm going to break both your kneecaps and he goes you may think i heard that line in a movie he goes i'm one of the guys they write the movies about he goes i will this is funny he goes i will call 9-1-1 right now he goes i will give them my address my social security number whatever he goes because i'd rather go to prison for the rest of my life and be back with my friends then you throw him out and we have to listen to his mother's [ __ ] mouth for the rest of my life that he got expelled from school he goes so either way i'm in jail i'd rather be with my buddies so the choice is yours and then white as a ghost brother rob was like okay well let's let's put him back in school and he goes simple easy breezy he just kept saying easy breezy my dad i was like stop saying easy breezy so he kept saying easy breezy and my dad and he goes uh he goes what we'll do is he gets detention before and after school and he's thrown off the basketball team does that work for you brother rob was like that works for me and i was like that doesn't [ __ ] work for me i want to play ball i want to go to detention and my dad's like no you hit somebody it's not good he goes who i i didn't raise you to be that way i was like you just threatened to [ __ ] kill somebody in front of me what are you talking
about and he goes i didn't raise you to be that way and then that's what i did my senior year before and after school every day um no basketball and my father and brother rob actually became like friends at graduation they were shaking hands friends everything was all good and it was one of those things where like my dad he's not that way anymore but growing up like my dad was just that guy he was like right intention wrong move is the best way i could describe my father and now that i'm a father i want to take some stuff from him but you know be more of the right intention right move because my dad he genuinely was coming from a place of love when he was like i'm going to hurt this principle because they're hurting you but obviously the wrong moves but he just grew up in a time when it's like you wanted to get something you got violent i'm very not violent i'm like a very big [ __ ] grew up around my mother kind of anti that um but you know the anxiety i think comes from that the the pant the pandora's box was you know my mother's a very nervous woman to begin with the 9 11 thing happened i thought she was dead it opened up all these emotions to like what how will i navigate life if she is dead and then my not being as tough as my father was like well how do i protect her how do i protect any woman in my life that was a thing that i started to like grasp with and it wasn't until i had children my first daughter who's now seven did i start to realize the narcissism and anxiety and i and and i know that you know that might not be the same for everybody but to me i started attaching narcissism to anxiety and i used to be proud of the hey i'm the anxiety guy i look like i don't have anxiety of anxiety but now when people bring up oh you have a lot of anxiety i almost hate that version of me i'm almost like that guy was very very weak and i'm still you know i have a lot of work to do but i did attack i'm like i can't have uh all this mental energy be eaten up by my self-serving narcissistic anxiety if i'm
gonna die if that's gonna happen i need to be like a present good dad and i need to figure i want to have questions answered for my daughters when and if they ask me to them i want to give them my full attention so little by little my anxieties been going been going down i think it still will always be there because that pandora's box thing was open i think some wait a minute hold on so there was no anxiety prior to september 11th and then all of it came after that and you've never let it go yeah i know it got to the point where every woman that i was with every girlfriend i ever had if they if i texted them and they said you know and if i texted them and they didn't write back to me in 10 minutes all that anxiety of september 11th would rush onto me and i couldn't get out of it i played college basketball it got so bad to the point where i used to bring my phone out onto the bench like in my warm-ups i would like if the coach saw me out of the game i would run make believe i'm going to get water and i would rummage through the warm-ups and have my phone there to make sure my girlfriend at the time texted me she was home and if she didn't i couldn't function i had a free throw average before when when i didn't have a girlfriend i almost had no anxiety but when i did have girlfriends insane anxiety i'm the all-time or second all-time leading scorer now in my college's history division three so it's like [ __ ] doesn't really count but still it was like i guess something but i the years when i had a girlfriend my free throw percentage would be like 52 the years when i didn't have a girlfriend it was like 90 percent so it com and at that point mental health wasn't understood my coach used to yell at me but get get your [ __ ] phone off the bench or they would [ __ ] with me on the bus they because my teammates started to figure out like oh [ __ ] chris gets really nervous about his girlfriends so they would text me sometimes like from these random numbers or call me like press the star 67 to like block the number and be like hey you know it's your girl my girlfriend's maria they're like hey maria uh uh i uh
i'm uh um i just saw your girlfriend marina i think she got hit by a car i think she's dead man and like they didn't understand at that point they were just like trying to [ __ ] with me as we're 18 19 year old guys but i was paralyzed like on the floor just got suicidal at times dude i couldn't talk to anybody about it because it just wasn't understood so how did you work your way out of that i think nature did when i had my kids before i had my i was 29 years old i was yeah 20 30 when i know 29 when i had my daughter but at 28 i had the anxiety like of that i had at 19. i couldn't get out of it but so how'd you get into stand-up comedy then cause i would imagine that that would give you a high level of anxiety too doing stand-up comedy is the only place still to this day where i feel almost zero anxiety really no matter how good or bad the shows go i almost feel zero no matter how bad the show's going even if i'm bombing dude you have to see i did the netflix comedy festival two weeks ago i did a show for um with amy schumer she was like amy schumer and friends and i had to go out and do a seven minute set i [ __ ] bombed like a full zero like just an app at the end of the set i was like i'm gonna kill myself that's right and i just walked off and i was like you know what like in the middle of it i was like i don't i just still feel like no anxiety like i knew i was bombing you know i feel the sweat and all that and and i was like this is gonna why are you saying that you wanted to kill yourself um because i think that you know i didn't give the people a good show so that's what it was anxiety i guess it is i guess it is in some ways um but it's not like for me like i wasn't like my body i'm saying the symptoms of it my heart wasn't beating any faster i think you're right about it being narcissistic yeah yeah i think you're thinking i think that you nailed something when you said that that there's something about anxiety that's narcissistic like you're thinking entirely about yourself you're thinking entirely about your feelings right yeah i um is a part of that for sure right yeah and i didn't i don't like the way that feels because and it's that and i think it's mental energy
i kind of feel like now you know i am have a step child and then two daughters step son and two daughters and i'm like i gotta give them almost i only have a finite amount of energy each day now yeah and i'm like i can't spend this thinking if i have i'm gonna have a heart attack or if i'm do you meditate do you do anything like that i was meditating a lot i was doing that transcendental meditation and then like many things in my life the consistency i i stopped and then and now like i tried to meditate today and i just not that i couldn't do it but i'm like i almost feel like i'm so um jittery at times like you know like um about like not jittery angry at myself about my lack of consistency that it takes me out of i get angry at myself now more than anxious about things i'm getting mad at myself it sounds like more narcissism yeah you just write a list man if you want to do something like this sounds very simple and i know it's not that simple but do one thing just one thing okay write a list of what you have to do and then do what's on that list you mean like each day yeah you have to you write a list every day i don't have to because i just do it right but if i needed to i'd write a list if i ever feel like i'm inconsistent i'll write a list okay but i just i know what i have to do and i just do it but i used to write a list okay i used to write a list like i used to write like write down go to the gym for 90 minutes write for two hours do this do that you know do two sets a night do this do that whatever i was going to do that i needed to do go to jiu jitsu at 8 pm whatever the [ __ ] it was that i had to do i'd write it down and i'd do it and once i started just doing it automatically and then there's that feeling of being inconsistent of like i don't want to do this just [ __ ] do it i have two voices in my head i have me and then i have like the drill sergeant okay and i listen to the drill sergeant drill sergeant goes shut the [ __ ] up and get out of bed and i just shut the [ __ ] up and i get out of bed go go to the gym go do this go do that don't eat that eat this don't be stupid take your vitamins drink water right i just do it just write it down or did you know i had to build into it
because if you think it's your martial arts training that built you into that yeah for sure yeah so in the beginning like it was like i wanted to just you know when you're doing martial arts you're always scared you're scared of getting hurt because you know it's a very violent thing and the best way to not be scared was to be fully prepared and if i wasn't fully prepared like there was tournaments that i entered i remember i wasn't training as consistently and i would get really nervous like it would feel very different i'd be like [ __ ] this is not good like i don't have the cardio something you know my my my technique might not be sharp i felt off and i did not like that at all i'm like the only way to not feel that is to be prepared so just make sure you do everything you have to do and if you're injured don't fight those are the two things because there's a couple times i fought injured i'm like that's just not smart it just never feels good right yeah i think the prepared thing is a huge thing i think i feel um at times uh yeah i guess i guess i never really equated that where it's like the more prepared i am for something the less anxiety or stress i have about 100 percent 100 so it seems like you're on a good path but a lot of this stuff what i'm saying the reason why i'm saying it's it is you're correct that it's connected to anxiety all you're you consistently you're thinking about yourself you're consistently thinking about yourself and your feelings right instead of just thinking about the world and thinking about experiences in life and just living in the moment you're thinking consistently about your feelings and about worries and fears and that's the two wolves that is what you you're so you're aware of what it is yeah and and at times the the change is is difficult for me but i'm and i don't know if if this is gonna i don't say fix it but help but for a very conservative irish catholic mother listens to the government what the priest says is the thing we do what the president says the thing we do alcohol is okay because it's legal weed is not okay because it's illegal like
that's how i was raised for a very long time so for you know when a psychedelics and all those things i'm very very late to the game with even thinking i could do that i would because i was always told if you try any drug it's going to mess with your heart you're going to this is how i was raised i wasn't raised with free thinking parents so so to speak so but now i've i've watched um explained about uh on netflix about psilocybin and they talked about how it can rewire like you know if your brain is like a you know snow that is being skied on it has the tracks that go a certain way and then psilocybins like the new snow i was like i think i need that at this point to be a better everything in my life tries to revolve around being a father now have you done it no i've never done any psychedelics but i wish i had we had some right now yeah i would do it right now because i've never tried it do we have any in you what's that i can get it here pretty quickly i don't know if there's anything here but do you smoke weed very little but i'm open to it all now i want to at all i worry little i wasn't all i wasn't only very little because i don't even know where to get it i can get it yeah what happens when you smoke weed um i did take an edible once and then i went to a new york islanders game and that was probably stupid because well what happened was is i was with opie from the opium anthony show and and and sherrod smalls shout out to rod smalls he gave me a um a uh a chocolate bar with weed but didn't tell me the instructions that you just need to eat a half of a half of one square of it this is a story as old as time yep yeah and then i ate the entire chocolate bar um and i forgot that i even ate it um and then we get to the islanders game and i forgot it was even in my system i i genuinely forgot and then the first period buzzer went off at the islanders game and i thought somebody threw a spear from the top of the arena and cut my body in half and i popped up i was like i'm having a stroke because my left side of my body went numb i was like i'm having a stroke i'm having a stroke
and opie was like calm down man it's just the weed i was like no it's different i'm having a stroke i was a i'm a i guess still a licensed physical therapist but i was like i know what it is it's a cerebral vascular accident i'm having a stroke and then jesus yeah and then i had to leave the arena and i walked up to the cops because again i was raised like in a very drugs or band and i walked up to the cops and i was like i was like officer i'm having a stroke and he was like no you're not i was like i'm having a stroke and he was like did you take any type of drugs or anything like that i was like am i gonna get arrested if i say yes and he was like no buddy you're not going to get arrested i want to help you i was like i ate an edible and then he goes how much i said i ate an entire chocolate bar of an edible he goes have you ever done edibles before i said no and then he goes and you ate the whole bar i said yeah and then him and his partner started laughing at me like maniacally laughing at me and they go and they go just get in a cab and get out of here take a shower you'll be fine and then i was in the cab and i at that point lived on 91st street and i got off at 61st street and i it was a cold winter day i had taken my jacket off i was like sweating and i called my friend mike cannon shout out mike cannon who takes a lot of edibles and and i called him and i was like buddy i'm having a stroke like i don't know what to do like you're like my shaman and he was like you're you ate way too much of it number one he goes but you'll be fine he goes you're resisting everything you just have to accept it just just accept that you're high and have good intentions with it and i promise you it's all going to change and then i got i went actually i went to um me and my girl were split up at the time but we'd already had our daughter we were co-parenting at the time i wasn't even living at the apartment on 91st street but i knocked on the door and i was like jazz i'm having a stroke and she was like you're not having a stroke i was like i'm having a stroke i need to see the baby if i die now i need to see the baby and she was like jesus christ
and she had taken she had kind of overcome she was had taken a lot of drugs in her life and you know she knew what to do she was like get go and take a cold shower i'm going to give you some big glass of milk that's an old wives tale or not but that's what she said caffeine is what helps the most so she said big glass of milk and and and i wish would have been caffeine but so she gives it to me she goes just get in the shower i get in the shower with my socks on i forgot that i didn't have socks and i got these soaking wet socks and i was like oh [ __ ] and then i go i remember just being in my daughter's room she was asleep and just talking to all her stuffed animals and being and holding her stuffed animals and being like you know calm down chris calm down i remember i was like my daughter was in the bed i was petting her feet and and then it just like that it came over me the high went from bad to good and i remember just like relaxing laughing everything was all good and but that experience the bad part was so bad for me that that um i haven't really taken them i take them sometimes i'll take i used to on my patreon episodes on my podcast i would take them um but they started to give me bad headaches well listen first of all yeah edibles are very different okay when you're eating it your your body's producing a completely different chemical it's called 11-hydroxy metabolite it's like when when you're eating it it's processed by your liver that that compound that metabolite is five times more psychoactive than thc so what you're experiencing is like a full-on psychedelic that's why it feels like you're on acid it feels like you're you're on mushrooms or something like there's something like very wrong most people think they they got dosed they think somebody put something in there right because it's just different than being high but even being too high from smoking it if you're not a person who gets high all the time your body doesn't know what the [ __ ] to do with that experience and it can trigger all sorts of weird paranoid thoughts and and freak you out and it's not necessarily always going to be okay like this whole idea like you're going to be fine when you sober up that's not really true because
there's legitimate evidence that a certain percentage of the people have some sort of a psychotic break or some sort of a schizophrenic break that coincides with the consumption of either edibles or a lot of smoke and pot like alex berenson who's a reporter from the new york times wrote a book on it i think it's called tell your children and a lot of the cannabis people push back on it but not me and i'm i smoke a lot of pot i was like i think he's right because i know multiple people who have never been the same who've gotten really [ __ ] high one time and then something went off and i don't think it's something that people should take lightly because i think most people come back from it but i think there's certain people that have schizophrenic tendencies that if they do have what you would call a breakthrough edible experience like they're eating 250 milligrams or something crazy like that which is you know for joey diaz is a normal tuesday but for a regular person that'll send you into the [ __ ] dark realm and those kind of people oftentimes when they have these schizophrenic breaks they're never the same again i know multiple people two people that are close to me that are not the same after they've had uh like severe marijuana experiences so should i do drugs or don't do drugs do you have schizophrenia in your family do you feel like you've ever had a schizophrenic moment where you're worried and paranoid and think that everybody hates you and the government's out to get you or you hear voices in your head or um no do you have a therapist yes does a therapist think do you have schizophrenic tendencies no the therapist just thinks i'm gay does he she guy or girl yeah he why one therapist i think you might be gay i was like really and i was like but then every gay guy i speak to and every woman's like no you're not gay you're just you're just really simple are you attracted to men i would say i fall in love with men i have sex with women that's why i describe myself in that how does that work like we can have a really good conversation i'm not physically
attracted to you guys but we can have a really good conversation and then i would want to go have sex with a woman hmm so you just well i bet it's probably has to do with not being around a man when you're growing up yeah you know that's uh unfortunately it's a problem with women too like you know we need balance in our lives right and men that grow up without moms oftentimes are very cruel and don't understand women you know and women that grow up without men in their lives oftentimes long for male companionship right and men who grow up without men in their lives it's the same thing it's like we need i mean obviously these are gross generalizations and sometimes people grow up with a single parent they're fine but oftentimes this imbalance by only having one you know gender in your life that's you know running the show dependent upon their own personal personalities and anxieties and all their other things can set you off on a course of like you need something that's not addressed when you're young right i also grew up in a neighborhood where it's like if you were into learning or pretty much if you were into anything other than sports or cars you were gay like that's you know like i remember i know every state capital when my mother would get mad at me and i'd get punished she would lock me in my room from the outside which is kind of crazy now now that i think back but she would make me just recite the state capitals or read about history or read from an encyclopedia and i mean sometimes it'd be like two hours and i would you know like stop reading the encyclopedia because i'm like there's no way this lady's still listening and then like two seconds go by and she'd be like continue christopher and i would have to like just keep reading so i know all these state capitals and all these facts and it's like you know i got a friend antonio parisi who like did like 15 years in prison for my neighborhood it's like i couldn't tell i'm like oh i i know that the brown signs in the neighborhood are designated for historical blocks and you can't mess with the facades because they were built
by german architects and keep [ __ ] be like what are you they were like what are you gay did you learn that from the guy you were [ __ ] it's like no i didn't so it is so weird how stupidity yeah can be regional yeah regional stupidity that's good good yeah it can be and then if you grow up in that area you're kind of [ __ ] if you have curiosity because it's suppressed it's surprising the idea that somehow or another that information and learning could be a weakness it's hilarious it's it's a thing stupid it's a thing that i grew up with big time where like even when i first started doing comedy because it was in the arts they were like of course you do comedy because you [ __ ] like microphone you like long things by your lips you know things like that i was like you're a dumb [ __ ] well there's a lot of dumb people man yeah if you grow up with them they can be a real [ __ ] hindrance yeah especially dumb guys because dumb guys they like angrily want to enforce their own standards on you yeah i think um i think uh you know environment too like i'm on staten island now it's interesting thing that's happening is like the prevalence of the italian mafia is starting to come back a little bit yeah because there's no more cops exactly and and because if covet the jail's overcrowding they're starting to let people out like i've seen more mafia guys like getting like coming home from prison like we're like oh you know vinnie's [ __ ] back nails is back you know like balloons and stuff and just like full holding court smoking cigars like like what you would see like in the 80s like mobsters coming back which in a weird way kind of makes me feel safer like it makes me feel a little bit like like somebody was robbing cars on the block that i live on or trying to rob cars and a guy i don't really know him uh i guess just got out of jail and you know there was like a group text that i just
became a part of but the numbers i didn't even know and one of they were talking about as parents like you know the cops don't get up here i live on top of a hill now they're like the cops don't get up here so quickly and with the nypd being like you know having some manpower issues like god have to police this area ourselves a little bit and one guy wrote back he was like i just feel bad for these kids because if they break into my house or my neighbor's house i'm going to shoot them and kill them and i i feel no remorse and he was like on the group chat being like that makes me sad i don't feel bad for them and i was like who the [ __ ] is this guy and then asked one of my neighbors he's like i think that's the guy that just got out of jail for 20 years he was like some ex-mobster because the italian mafia guys the ones that do still exist they mostly live on staten island where i live so you see them you feel them a little bit and it's it's this interesting like safety like i don't want anyone to get hurt i feel like you know 18 19 year old kids stealing cars i mean you know yeah you go to jail for that but i don't want somebody to lose their life but i don't think these kids understand if they break into one of those houses around me these guys they all have guns they all have probably killed somebody before in their life they don't care yeah and i think about that too as my kids i'm like do you know how many near-death situations i was in i'm sure you were in jaime was in when we were children that we just somehow survived as a father now sometimes i think about that where i'm like [ __ ] all these all these near-death situations my kids may or may not be in but then i have to tell myself again that's bad wolf stuff stay in the present your kids are fine now they're little everything's good don't worry about stuff that hasn't happened yet but i struggle with it in my head yeah do you um do you have anything that you do that makes you feel better is there any activity that you do that that sort of calms that down uh walking i like walking and exercise uh
yeah well interesting if i go extremely hard in the gym it actually doesn't make me feel better because i'm always like oh you should be stronger like your squat should be better like that it's it's counter-intuitive at times just about cardio cardio helps specifically cardio i i like to go i'll go and drive i love history especially american revolutionary history i love the revolutionary war and the civil war but in i really love colonial the idea of colonial america i almost feel like i know this is weird to say but i almost feel like i live there like i almost feel like my soul it's like weirdly connected to it like very strange where i'm like i feel like i had a past life if that exists like i feel like i was in that part of the world but um part of history but when i go search for history stuff and start reading about history stuff and going for walks like there's a place in staten island called fort wadsworth which is where the british troops first made landfall in when they were gonna you know go take over try to take you know america back that's where they landed so it's like so much history there and i feel like this insane sense of calmness when i'm there like all that stuff that's like you know with the therapist tells you oh if it starts with a what if that's anxiety get out of your head if it's not going to matter in five months don't give it more than five minutes all these things that i try to remember daily that sometimes escape my brain i have so much clarity when i'm sitting around colonial history sites which is like there's been times where i've drove to like colonial williamsburg which is nine hours away from my house just to calm down you know um calm that's interesting that would make you calm so do you have family that lived here back then is there anyone in your ancestry if you trace it back to like what when what year did your family get to america no so this whole lot my whole life i thought that you know my name is krista stefano i thought it was an italian guy you know like mostly italian american i knew my mother is irish she has red hair and i thought my dad was you know hardcore italian and
then i did the ancestry.com and i found that i'm 95 german so like almost all german and i was like wow that's weird too because first of all when i went to germany i went there uh to munich to oktoberfest people were just talking to me in german and i had to be like i don't speak any german and then they'd say in english you're not german and and one guy was like i usually know when they're not you know when when someone's an american he's like you look really german and i never knew dad thought he was italian yeah he thought and then he was like i don't know did he get his [ __ ] done no he won't do any of that stuff he's like no and then my aunt is all about it and my aunt is like um my dad's sister she's like yeah we we're kind of she was like i'm starting to piece together pieces of you know my father's life my mother's life and it's a lot of german ancestry which is which is wild because so i don't think anybody in my family is here for colonial america so do you but what year did your grandparent did your grandparents immigrate here like who who immigrated here my um yeah my mother's uh my my mother's side came um in i think the early 1900s and then my father's side i think they came like in the 40s mm-hmm so it's all third generation all third yeah nobody was here yeah nobody i don't have a but that's colonial america for some reason it's just i don't know why i'm obsessed with it i just like those are the type like i have a tough time reading at times but that i read that book 1776 by david mccullen i read it like three times i just kept reading it well it's cool you know it's interesting to think about people that live back then i mean i'm obsessed with native americans and i have zero native american in me nor do i have any like feelings that i have like some past history of native american you know ancestry that i've you know yeah but who knows i mean who knows what what genetics carry right like the idea that there's a lot of things that are in your
dna that have come from many many many many many generations ago like for instance like why are people afraid of uh snakes you know or or spiders like arachnophobia is a real thing where someone will see a spider and be [ __ ] paralyzed they don't know what that is but they they suspect that someone somewhere got bit by a spider right or someone saw someone get bit by a spider and died and that memory is burned in the dna of the parent and then into the child and then perhaps into the child's child and it just carries on it's just speculation but for whatever reason like a fideophobia is a snake one like why that's what it is no yeah arachnophobia is uh arachnids i think a fideophobia is a snake one but they don't know why because it's crippling like you might not be afraid of dogs which were real they could bite you a dog is [ __ ] dangerous you might not be afraid of uh you know other things that are actually dangerous right but you're afraid of of of a snake or you're afraid of a spider to the point where you lock up like paralyzed by anxiety and they don't know why huh yeah i i don't have any fear of that that's interesting i'm scared of the dark well everybody should be scared of the dark because the dark is if you follow primate history all of our ancestors you go way way back they're all eaten by cats you know cats right operate nocturnally our eyes suck at night and that's why we had to hide at night you know and that's probably one of the main reasons why people develop shelters to avoid predators predators so you talk that's another thing too if you talk to a small child what are children afraid of they're not afraid of child molesters they're not afraid of [ __ ] car accidents they're afraid of monsters right like why is a little kid afraid of things with big teeth it's weird it's because there's an ingrained fear of cats interesting yeah i don't like i don't have cats in the house i feel like i'm allergic to regular well you probably are but not regular cats house cats i'm talking about like big cats like jaguars and leopards and stuff they were eating people from the beginning of time i
hired um like a like an mma trainer really to train my daughter because she's you know just turned seven but i just want her to like like it she's gonna start a school i just want her to you know be able to defend herself and um and uh the guy started training with me a little bit and um and he was like i was like what can i do like what what do you do to like get over like a fear he was like sometimes before a fight i'll um i'll go run i'll go jogging through the woods at night like just because i'm like if i can overcome that uh you know a man in the in the pure daylight is not going to scare me and that was like true at all though well i said i was i couldn't even walk in i wouldn't be sometimes when i'm driving at night by myself i think that there's somebody in the trunk yeah well i started fighting when i was 15 and i'm really lucky i did i'm really lucky because i was dumb back then and my my brain wasn't fully formed and i wasn't smart enough to realize how dangerous it was so i engaged in it when i was very young and i got used to these violent encounters on a regular basis because i was competing and fighting tournaments all the time and that helped me so much it helped me so much right because regular scary is not as scary as fight scary right like fight scary was like it's coming up saturday tournaments on saturday here it is tuesday i'm [ __ ] [ __ ] my pants i'm stretching i'm warming up i'm worried am i gonna wake up on saturday lying flat on my back with a [ __ ] broken jaw is that gonna happen i've seen it happen maybe that's me maybe saturday's my day you know and then i'd find out who's in the division like oh [ __ ] that guy's in the division [ __ ] right you know and i'd freak out and that is so much more scary than most stuff that you encounter in day-to-day life that i got a level of fear when i've when i stopped fighting when i was 21 one of the things it was 21 or 22 i forgot when my last fights were they were in that range i think was before right before i turned 22. when i stopped fighting immediately i felt relaxed like immediately and then it was like within a year it subsided and then luckily i hurt my knee because when i
was bombing and stand up i was thinking about fighting again i was like [ __ ] this like i hated the fact that i needed someone else's approval because the beautiful thing about fighting is it didn't matter if someone didn't like me it didn't matter if people booed me it didn't matter because i knew how good i was i knew when i get out there i'm gonna put it on that dude right no one's gonna save him so in my mind it was like fine hate me i don't give a [ __ ] but then stand-up was the total opposite everybody had to like you right and i'm like oh my god my social skills suck because i didn't develop them some from 15 to 21 i was just doing this weird crazy thing and i wasn't really engaging in most like like party type activities and i kind of liked it that i was this weirdo outcast who was doing this like dangerous thing so while i was in high school when most kids were doing these things i was traveling around the country like competing in tournaments so when i started doing stand-up there was a part of me that was like [ __ ] this and i'll probably i don't know man maybe if i didn't hurt my knee i might have fought again but i [ __ ] my knee up and i had to get an acl reconstruction and that's like a whole year like that takes a long-ass time and i didn't have uh the money for it yet i didn't have insurance i had to get insurance and then i had to get it later and i had to get um it's like a patella tendon graft it's a big deal they take a piece of your patella tendon they pull it out along with a chunk of bone from your your patella and you've ever done it well no i i was a physical therapist so i worked with i worked with patients that had took a long last time i've had both my knees reconstructed but my left knee took way longer to get fixed yeah so there was no question i wasn't fighting then and then i got better at comedy and then i got over it right but that [ __ ] that that those moments of like fear and anxiety that you have like when you're just starting to do stand up there it's like a different kind of fear and anxiety yeah because i think one subjective one's objective like you're in the ring either you win or you lose you get but the comedy it's like you know you can do
the same set at the eight o'clock show and then bomb with the 10 o'clock show there's this unpredictability it's also as a judgment on you yeah it's a different thing it's a judgment on you you as a whole not like you and your physical skills you know just you as a whole do you absolutely love stand-up comedy yeah it's a part of you like you you you were you knew the history of it you watching you were a kid oh yeah right yeah yeah i mean uh i did it this week in detroit god damn it was fun shout out to troy shout out to detroit you know what what's great about detroit detroit is like a city without any pretense you know it's kind of a [ __ ] up city it is they got [ __ ] by the auto industry pulled out destroyed the economy if you go back to like the 1950s and you see videos of detroit see if you can find some videos of detroit in the 1950s and 60s it was one of the wealthiest country one of the wealthiest cities in the country it was an incredible city and it was a city that was powered by american automobiles right like that that made the city man everybody was there chrysler was there ford was there they're all there yeah so detroit back then was [ __ ] booming and then in the 80s i guess i'm not sure the timeline whatever they pulled out and that's around that uh roger and me movie right did you see that no i haven't i heard of it i still to this day think it's michael moore's best work i think that's his best work because it was real innocent it was like him really just a young unknown filmmaker who is trying to find out what the [ __ ] happened and see if people can comprehend the the damage they've done to the city like how devastating it is to people that have no way to get out yeah and they're good there's good comedy there too i mean i did that royal oak theater and the people are just so happy but when you got like a [ __ ] economically [ __ ] city those people are the ones who need the laughs more than anybody like you think i mean if you ever look at old pictures of like iran like tehran i ran like in the 50s 60s it was like booming and beautiful and there was not like nobody had to wear any headdresses like it was a beautiful vibrant place it's only like
you know a lot everything goes through like you know like you said like a history like you know like detroit it does feel like it's coming back a little bit now you know they feel like it too yeah there's uh there's like a detroit pride you know like um shine do you know what shinola the other companies i know yeah they make really good watches and leather goods yeah like really good handmade stuff that's like solid quality and they're like proudly made in detroit and all their stuff yeah i went to that um uh is it jack white store that album store they have i think it was by the shinola place and i went and saw that like the white stripes and all because i again music like i didn't um like all the only music i ever listened to was like rap and whitney houston i just knew whitney you said my father's big whitney houston fans rap whitney houston's hilarious conference you might your therapist might be right yeah that's what it is [Laughter] it's true listen i'd love whitney houston honey houston's voice was insanity but would you so talented life's so talented she was the best singer i think of all time but like even like like when i see people and hey whatever people want to do when i see people like lining up outside to like get something or like get in concert like i i never ever in my life wanted to do that like i never wait in line for a concert yeah like get there early for sneakers or get to snl the night before like i never had an ambition to camp out for anything ever in my life like okay let me ask you this what if they figured out a way to bring someone back to life what if they could bring james brown back to life like james brown from 1969 you can go see him live honestly if they brought whitney houston back to life i wouldn't wait in line for the concert you wouldn't wait and like would you i would try to talk whatever the time machine and it could put you in like a little hamster bubble you know when the little hamster wheel thing okay and he could put you so we're like you wouldn't affect anything but you could be there
for like muhammad ali versus george foreman in africa honestly i think i'd rather go back in time and just watch benjamin franklin fly a kite oh yeah do you think that really happened no i don't think i think i would do that for sure like if i could like if i could go back really back far yeah how far would you go back like if you only do it once if i could only literally the only time i could do it is one time and you know a lot about history you used to be one of the co-hosts of history hyena shout out yeah history i mean it's a great show very good and john giannis is awesome by the way giannis has a new special out right now too it's really [ __ ] funny yeah and it's on youtube what is it called giannis is something mom something oh uh mom love mom love yeah yes yeah it's giannis one of the best stand-ups i ever was [ __ ] truthfully and super super funny guy and super super smart guy right yeah so you know a lot about history so if you wanted to go back to a particular point in history if you could only go and watch it once and you make maybe you could be there for 24 hours in this hamster bubble where you just like you just stay in this one thing you can't go anywhere you don't interact with people but you get to experience what life was like see i think there's choi you know a lot of people i know might want to go see the pyramids they want they might want to go into that time and i think that time is fascinating truthfully but i think for me i genuinely would want to go back just because i feel such a connection to it to specifically the battle of brooklyn in august of 1970s 1776 because i would number one want to see like i think about like i want to know when i go to another city i don't ever really go to the tourist attractions i do just to do it but i want to go see how people like me live in other cities that's what i'm fascinated too about history how did i know how george washington lived that was well documented but how did you know the gay anxiety girl dad live in 1776 how did i you know what did i do back then would i
have been a soldier so i would like to go to the battle of brooklyn where i live where it happened in bay ridge all those shops and stores i know now see it completely just in the farce or whatever it looked like in 1776 and see what really happened in these battles because you know the winners write the history books but see what actually what actually really really happened um because i think that to me that the watching you know um on that battle because there's a story in that battle of battle of brooklyn where they say george washington we were going to lose the war right in the first month but then a fog came in and kind of blanketed uh the narrows it's called like the hudson river and we were george washington was able to get all the troops like 80 percent of the continental army we had back across the water and into new jersey or else britain we would have completely lost and be speaking british right now potentially speaking i know it's a different language yeah and and so they spelled tires wrong and governor wrong do they really they put a you in there they put a dumb you in the there is always weird to me like we have one we made it first of all we invented the tire didn't we i think so yeah probably tried to claim america as being an inventor of the tire because what was henry ford the actual inventor of the automobile i have no idea no right he like uh the about the process the process of us of construction yeah yeah interesting oh like production like a production process yeah interesting i i um yeah i just wish who invented the tire in 1846 robert william thompson a 23 year old engineer and scottish entrepreneur filed a patent in france for a wheel called a leather filled with air wow this is the very first tire no [ __ ] like a oh he figured out a leather tube filled with air what a [ __ ] genius idea because everybody uses the tire right you know who would have ever thought like well you know it's hard because uh it's we
need something that's durable right but we also need something that's got some cushion to it right doesn't make it hard on the outside and put air in the inside it's the lightest [ __ ] ever yeah because you would think you know they made the wheel they've had the wheel for thousands of years like just put leather on it [ __ ] dummy boom the leather tube the leather with air that's a genius move genius genius move that's because give it a little cushion can you change tires are you good comfortable with cars yeah i can change tires yeah i [ __ ] got to learn how to do that too well i used to i worked um at a gas station for a little while and i had a bunch of friends who were gear heads and i learned from them and i had a really good in high school we had a really good auto shop and the guy who i wish i could remember his name he was this cool old dude who only liked mustangs nice i'm sure uh one of my friends will text me afterwards i still have some friends from back then don't remember this guy because he was a legendary auto shop teacher and he had old mustangs he'd make you work on them and they were all like bondo boxes they were all complete [ __ ] boxes yeah he would buy like the shittiest 1965 mustang and he would he would redo it and he was always driving it to work and the [ __ ] guy only loved mustangs he loved old mustangs and he would just he would just work on him and he would you would like appreciate it from him yeah because you're hanging out with him yes it's a beautiful like circumstance environment thing my guy like that was this guy named scotty karate who lived in the neighborhood and he was just a lunatic old-school alcoholic guy that you would give him a dollar and he would do any trick you wanted he would back he would backflip into glass everybody had guys like that right he would jump off a [ __ ] awning oh my god and he's still alive that guy's still alive he never got covered never got monkey pox he's just alive in a nursing home in a wheelchair trudy i got a video sent uh to him the other day shout out to scotty karate wow um but you know i so i was around cars like a lot when i was younger right it's it's better to hire somebody who
actually knows what they're doing i know they're doing a tire now that doesn't have air it's really interesting it's a tire that the the outside of it looks like a regular tire but then the sidewall of it it's like honeycombed it's like some kind of a material that compresses and comes back so instead of it being air so it can never get punctured where it runs out of air see how it looks like that whoa yeah so those things compress and it essentially has the same effect as the tire with air in it but you can see right through it to the other side like look at what it looks like in a profile it's weird well like it's weird that we're all kind of living through the point now where it's like even stuff from the 90s which is whatever 20 30 years ago looks really old so like 30 years from now like that's that makes so much more sense that's a way better thing it's a way better i don't know anything about cars or tires or anything and even i'm like that's a better idea the only thing that i don't know about is whether or not it could match it in terms of performance because there's a there's a thing about pliability that actually looks [ __ ] amazing because there's a thing i don't know how let's find out how good they are there's a thing about pliability it's like you like that's why they have low profile tires right like low profile tires exist so you have the minimum amount of give so on a race track okay you know you want to you want a low profile tire and you want like a stiff suspension you're going around this smoother you don't want a big ass like 1970 buick tire that's too much tire right there's too much give this way in that way right so the question would be can they get that to the same optimal range that they can with air if they can do that then it's that's way better i started watching that f1 drive to survive on netflix and i was just like race car driving i want to do that and then i realized you have to be 160 pounds max to get into that car if you ever got into a race car like no but i would imagine it'd be like a jockey that it would be better beneficial to be light yeah i i was i was like that thing like i didn't realize like how fast have you ever been to one of those races
you've been to them formula one out here in austin there's a racetrack coda we went and watched it's crazy and it's like they go so fast you can't even see them right wow it's wild but they can't put tires like that that we just saw in those cars i don't know maybe they can maybe they'll be better i mean who the [ __ ] knows but it seems like just the fact that you can never get a flat from a puncture just like a simple run out of air thing that seems crazy that we're still reliant on not running out of air well do you have run flats you know about run flats right what's a run no run flat's a standard production tire that you can drive up to 55 miles an hour so you can take a drive on it here's an faq on it that might hold on because we're in the middle one thing so the run flats are currently available right now so like you can get like a run flat from a lot of uh automobile manufacturers they offer it as an option when you buy a car okay and it allows you to even if you get a flat tire you could drive to safety so if you're on the highway and you get a tire in a regular car regular targets flat you can't drive it it starts it starts making a lot of noise these are much more rigid so it's some like middle ground area so even though it's flat it's designed to have a certain amount of rigidity to it a certain amount of give to it and you can drive it for a long time but those cars generally don't perform as well and that's what i was getting to when i'm talking about the give of tires those don't perform as well as the the tires with air in them right yeah i just i it's all like on race tracks i mean right no but listen that's the thing it's like it's all that tire stuff sounds amazing to me and interesting but again i just don't like i just get in the car i just get in the toyota and drive it i don't know i wish i knew more about this yeah but this is how you know more you just look it up so jamie pull pull that article that you have it doesn't say much more than what you just said actually is it oh the same thing about the performance it's comparable to
us uh run flat tire right for performance so but run flat tires i'm not incorrect about that right they're not as good in terms of like they're fine for regular everyday driving they're it's probably preferred actually it's makes sense you can't be on something that doesn't you know but if i think you know it's like dorks get into like an i'm a dork i'm saying me guys like me that get into cars like oh the new one goes zero to 60 in three seconds like what are you doing are you racing yeah like why that's that's not going to matter so for the most part like what a run flat tire the benefit of it to me seems [ __ ] huge right you don't have to like stop on a highway and be [ __ ] in danger or drive on a rim dude i mean i feel like that's how people like that's how people get hit by cars they're changing entirely 50 percent happened to a kid in my i went to high school with died he he died because he was changing the tire and he got hit by a tire you got hit by a car and that and at that point nobody was even texting and driving back then yeah this was in the [ __ ] early 90s i believe he died i remember i got a i don't even know if i got a text message i might have actually got a phone probably got a phone call you gotta laugh but it was one you know when someone from your high school dies like that you're like oh god he died that way he's losing smile i think of him smiling in the hallway i know a kid in my high school who used to sleep over my house all the time he uh i remember one time he slept over my house he was a great basketball player he was like one of those kids he was like five five but he could like reverse dunk unbelievable ball player yeah he was great great great player this kid and um remember one time we woke up in the middle of the night you know sleeping in my room or whatever i was sleeping on the floor sleeping in the bed and he was in the middle of the our hallway where my mom even woke up she was like honey are you okay to my friend and he's like i just see i see these little green men it's like crazy i see them everywhere it's like wild in this house and she was like okay and like we never thought anything of it it was late 90s whatever like oh a guy sees green men well
whatever made fun of him about it we're joking about whatever fast forward 10 years later we you know lose touch a little bit he went to the queen center mall went up to the fifth floor jumped off right in the middle in the middle of a saturday just landed on like the cinnabon cart dead and the when i was reading the news i got the chills because when i was of course to see unfortunately that a friend commit suicide but when i was reading the newspaper article about it that's how i found out it was in the new york post they go you know witness said you know this man you know whatever 27 years old jumped leaped off the um fifth floor of the queen center mall and he was saying that there's little green men all over him and he just needs to get them off and i was like yo that kid had schizophrenia or a major mental health issue when we were teenagers and i didn't even know i had no i didn't i didn't even think about that little green men moment until i read that article but i was like whoa dude i had a conversation with this guy once and uh i've known him for a while always friendly with him always normal how's everything everything's good you know we talk about this and that superficial [ __ ] about the news just the guy i knew from work right then one day i show up at this place where he's at and he pulls his phone out and he starts showing me photos of clouds okay and he goes they're everywhere you see them see them in this one see them see them in this one and i'm like is this guy doing a bit like what is this right right and he goes i go what do you what do you think those are goes they're definitely from another world he goes uh i'm i'm being watched it's some sort of an unidentified flying object i don't know what the purpose is but it's uh it's constantly in the clouds like following me everywhere he's [ __ ] dead serious so i'm like how are you certain of this you know so i'm trying to be nice but i'm also trying to like ask questions so i'm like how are you certain of this and he goes it's like it's playing his day i
just know it is you know and he's got i look at his phone i go can i see your phone he shows me the pictures there's like hundreds of pictures of clouds hundreds hundreds it's basic clouds and i'm going holy [ __ ] i'm here hanging out with this guy right you know and he's hanging out with all of us which is he seems like a normal guy right meanwhile he's out of his not like kind of right a little wacky no right out of his [ __ ] mind but fully functional fully functional respected in his craft very nice guy seems normal real good at talking when he comes around hey how's everybody doing good to see you good to see you hundreds and hundreds of pictures of clouds on his phone he just thinks he thinks the clouds are filled with aliens and they're following him around is he still alive this guy i haven't spoken to him in quite a long time so i'm not sure i think he is you know people snap i mean my mom was single when i was growing up you know divorced from my dad and you know throughout my course of my life she had a couple of boyfriends and one time she was dating this guy and everything was good you know and then he wanted her to go up to uh like a summer house or something that he had i think in like vermont or new hampshire up in that north new england area and she for some reason just didn't want to go she was like i just i don't know like things are going okay with this guy but she's like i didn't want to go i remember being like 14 and she's telling me about it which is you know weird i don't have anything to give i'm just your son she's like should i go honey like do you think i should go and i was like i mean i don't know like i guess go like maybe ask my dad you know like your ex-husband i don't know what to do i'm 14 years old and she was like i'm not going to go i'm going to stay with you this weekend we'll just we'll do something fun i was like all right whatever yeah have fun with my mom i guess so whatever we just went for pizza video games and then like a week later she's on the phone with
um uh like i guess police or something from that area and she's answering all these questions like no he you know i i didn't want to go and and all these things and i'm like vaguely hearing it and then she said he like got so pissed off that she didn't want to go like like he felt like rejection from her that he went and killed some couple just sleeping like in their cabin in new hampshire vermont and like my mom's like i could have been like who that guy was a i would have never in my life thought that that guy was capable of that and he [ __ ] killed him and i was like holy [ __ ] and my mom met this guy on a catholic dating website so that's why his religion's no good holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] man yo i do you ever get to talk to like like a real like an inmate who did like 20 plus years in prison you ever have that person on that show or friend of yours like real time federal yeah i've talked to quite a few yeah so i in my family it's actually my girlfriend's uncle jerry we call him tt jerry he's transgender now now he's he's a woman he doesn't care what you call him pronouns he's very fluid but it's interesting it's my girlfriend's godfather and my little baby daughter's godmother it's the same person it's wild you know and he's on your podcast all the time comes on my podcast all the time she she or that she doesn't care she really doesn't care her whole thing with she's like whatever people want to do but she always says she's like i was trans before it was cool she was like so she was like she was like here's the bottom line she goes you can say pronouns this or that she's like whatever people makes them comfortable and peaceful they should do that she's like but the bottom line is if she's like when i'm walking past you if i'm in high heels in a skirt and you say excuse me sir she was like i'm turning around i'm turning around because i know she's like i'm i was born a man and that's how i my brain will always be a man but that's her thing but anyway the reason why i'm bringing funny she'll beat you up because she's a man dude she'll beat the [ __ ] out i don't
even put my alarm on when tt jerry sleeps over i'm like you can come in and try to round my house you're going to get skull [ __ ] by tt jerry and murdered before you even get to my bedroom but yeah but jerry fascinating person but the reason why i bring it up is because she has told me from her experience in being in prison which is really great i'm actually so thankful because my mother again being very conservative it was very weird like i don't know if you should have an ex-inmate around the kids honey and i'm like it's been amazing to have my stepson and my my daughter my baby daughter's too old but my seven-year-old and my 11 year old like learned from him and or her about the world learned from jerry about the world from that point of view is amazing and because she's really a type of person that um you know when it's hard to talk to kids when you're like oh you better eat your food kids don't have food in you know sub-saharan africa or whatever and kids are like i don't [ __ ] get that where jerry's a person's like i know what it's like to have zero freedom i know what it's like to be in the hole for two years so i go out there and i enjoy the day for the microcosm of the day i can enjoy a good smell i'll have a great day so i'm happy that my kids get that but the reason why is because she got to do prison time with son of sam yeah son of sam uh uh um ronald defeo jr you know the amityville horror house that's real yeah that's a real thing well you know the story is that you know they hollywood it up but he really did kill his family because he said he was hurting voices he killed everyone and it's crazy because she said jerry said she yeah oh [ __ ] man yeah so she was uh inmate and two pockets oh i didn't know about this i'd forgotten i knew about this there's actually the actual house itself it's been demolished because people were visiting it all the time it's no good just like i don't live too far from where the godfather house was and i think like that was demolished to you because people it's like you know you own that house you're like i don't want [ __ ] people taking pictures all day every day oh my god that would be so annoying if you live near that the
horror house but she was saying that ronald defeo jr she was like when you talk to him same thing with son to sam you would not guess in a million years what they were capable of said ronald to fail the only thing about him she said she said you know the the sexual favor she said she wouldn't she wouldn't cop to any sexual favors with son of sam even though like we think whatever maybe shook up with him maybe she's just not proud of it whatever it's her story she says um but defeo she was open when she was like that he he would let she would let him um put a mirror out he would he could put a mirror out in his room and she would dress up in like thongs and stuff like that and let him like you know jerk off or whatever she'd cook him breakfast and he was like kind of like his his prison wife and she's jerry said that um you know when you talk to him it was like the same thing every day everything would be normal about him but except if you ever brought up his crimes he would never even get mad at it never he would only look you as calm as can be and be like i just wish i killed my grandmother i just didn't kill her and if i would have killed her i'd be i'd i'd be okay but i didn't kill her and that's the thing that keeps me up at night but anyway how's your day what's going on like so he but so jerry was like that's what it was and he said david berkowitz which was this was fascinating with david berkowitz and son of samurai was like whoa because when she came on on my podcast and started talking about it the documentary about the son of sam which on netflix did you ever see that documentary no it didn't so it was about son of sam but it was really kind of saying that yes david berkowitz killed people undeniable but not all those people that he was part of a cult that was running out of of some place in yonkers and it was like this cult that was killing people but the police at that time in that you know summer of 77 they were there was so much heat on them at that time from the public to find this serial killer because he was terrorizing them they were like we got to pin all the murders on this guy but there were more murders similar fashion after son of sam was already
incarcerated really yes that the police wouldn't kind of they tried to keep it quiet on the media and they wouldn't connect them but they're really very strong evidence that this [ __ ] was happening there was a cult and david berkowitz was just the guy that took the fall he was just one of them that did this because and jerry was telling us that before the documentary came out he was like you know the thing i learned about son of sam is that he didn't kill all those people she would say she's like he didn't kill all those people baby no he did not she was she was like i was intimate with that man he did not kill all those people he was saying like that and she was like he's like i know he didn't she's like maybe he killed one or two but he's a pretty nice guy there's no way he could have killed all those people and then the documentary came out like two weeks later and i was like and she was like i told you you see i told you nobody wanted to listen to me like he was like he's like going crazy like you know did you ever see that movie henry portrait of a serial killer no the with the guy from um the walking dead that [ __ ] killer actor what the [ __ ] his name the guy who played uh like the lead michael michael rooker yeah that guy so what what's that one about uh it's about henry lee lucas and it's a similar story what are his crime porch of a serial killer um oh this guy's a fantastic guy he's so good dude and he's so good in that movie in that movie he's fantastic and what it's about this guy henry lee lucas and he killed like 62 people just random people across the country just walk into a bathroom cut their throat stab him walk out act like nothing happened wow but the thing is it might not all be real okay because he got arrested and he seems to be crazy like when you watch the actual video see if you can find a video of henry lee lucas i think they just asked him did you kill this guy he's like yup killed him too yeah i think it's one of those just copped to it all right and i think they pinned a bunch of unsolved cases on him so it would like look like they solved them right i don't think they were being very discerning with whether or not uh
his uh stories were totally accurate it just seems like there's some real controversy as to whether he killed that many people although it's like 60 plus people one um uh uh i'm forgetting who it was yeah so here he is oh yeah i've seen this guy before actually at least 360 people lucas was a drifter who murdered at random during an eight-year spree either they found the world's worst serial killer or it was the biggest hoax in american criminal justice history i would give him a pencil he would sit there and draw pictures and describe what they were wearing how they were killed shootings strangulations knifings i've killed them in every way there is lucas was confessing to any unsolved murder put before him i started getting calls from law enforcement all over people say why why are you doing it it was making him feel as though he was contributing they didn't treat him as a killer but as a friend uh-oh you got the handcuff henry never lived so good every day he brought him a strawberry milkshake it was like he was a movie star from that point it went to hell in the handbasket quick what i'd been believing for all these years was henry did it there is not one shred of evidence to show that lucas killed my mother the police work so we're going to not watch the whole trailer but so that's basically the gist of the idea of the story was that he probably didn't kill nearly as many people but he probably killed some so i guess at that point you might as well if he already had prison he was already in prison foreign and [ __ ] on him because i think in prison right it's like a different system in there like it might be beneficial for him if he was in jail for life he's just like yeah i killed all these people he might get more clout that way i don't know i think he's just us an insane person oh yeah and and loving the attention and so he's confessing to all these things but the point is it's kind of like the the david berkowitz thing like he probably wasn't responsible for all of them right but
even more crazy than berkowitz really when you find out the numbers he's talking about yeah i i don't do you think you could kill someone like not in a situation where like they're attacking your family do you think like you can get no reason yeah why would you want to kill someone for no reason no i don't even want to think whether or not i would kill someone for no reason do you think you could kill them if they were if they were like in got somehow got in your house yes and well you could do it yeah would you kill him with a gun or the bow and arrow whatever's nearby i do not a bow and arrow that's that takes time man you got to draw that thing back that's dude oh the crossbow i meant to say yeah i mean bare hands could you do it [ __ ] dead if you had to yes you would do it oh yes yeah i guess i'd do it too of course you would if you're protecting your child yeah protected you wouldn't even realize it was over until you were over like a broken watermelon that used to be their head right you wouldn't even realize it if someone was trying to harm your family you'd black out you would go [ __ ] psycho yeah you would it would be animal-like yeah you know and if you know how to fight and you're a big guy i'm sure it would be terrifying yeah i guess you're right yeah so i'm right yeah i'm 100 right yeah you think i and you think even if i'm like oh i don't really know i mean i box a little bit but if i was like even if the guy was if you thought someone was trying to harm someone you love you just i'd fight to the death you would be out of your head you'd be out of your head with violence now what about war what if you got drafted tomorrow do you think you could just do that because you just drop into a war zone tomorrow we're getting drafted it's the night it's world war ii i think most people if you're in a war there's i mean whether or not you would perform well that's obviously that's a different story whether or not you could keep it together under the insane pressure of gun fighting right but most people i think throughout history that have gone to war have kind of adapted to that that this is life now
life is war right they come back and they're destroyed by it and devastated by it but right you know it's it's a [ __ ] super insane aspect of humanity that's existed forever so i think unfortunately most people have the capacity to kill people in war right i think you know obviously the softer your life has been the more um the less adversity you've experienced it the harder it would be to do anything hard right anything difficult and war is the hardest thing you could do i was listening to some things uh like a very old man said i saw it on instagram the other day like this guy was like i think he might have been like a hundred so lived through world war ii and he was saying you know there's a chance he was like i feel he was saying he feels rumblings of what it was like in europe uh pre-world war ii now because he he said i feel rumblings of it now he said because if you would have told someone in 1930 if you would have told a jewish person in 1930 1935 even before hitler came to power hey in 10 years from now five years from now you guys are going to be in concentration camps they'd be like what are you crazy right yeah there's anti-semitism but it's like a tolerable level which sucks but it's there but like we have jobs we have lives like the society at that point was like as you know progressive as it was now like everything nobody saw that coming but the guy was like so he was like i feel like the reason why you didn't see it coming oh maybe it was world war one then you didn't see it coming is because uh you were living in peace time he said you only we've been living now in too much peace time he said because when you live in so much peace time that's why you never want to go to war he said when you live in wartime that's why you know that you know the horrors of war so he's like you you understand like you will get over your differences a lot quicker because you know what wars he said our generation now these you know people we only know peace he said and then the war is going to begin and you're going to beg for peace and it's too late and i was like holy [ __ ] that like hit me in a place i was like yo i've only lived in peace time yeah like
for real peace time we're involved in something that could get hot it really can rise russia ukraine thing can get hot we don't know what the [ __ ] is happening and then i saw something today where donald trump has that truth media yeah you know he's got the truth media and uh somebody said something about civil war and he re-truthed it so that's what you do you read truth things read truth truth truth media so he re-truth someone saying something about civil war right like like we're in danger of having a civil war or what does he what did he say what was it i just can show it to us well the first one i clicked was behind a paywall i know i saw it on twitter so it must be true so he retweeted lara logan retweeting the president of el salvador okay so someone says the most powerful country in the world is falling so fast that it makes you rethink what are the real reasons so this is the president of el salvador says this and laura logan uh she re-truths that and then someone else posts a comment that says civil war and then he re-truth that so donald j trump re-truth someone saying civil war which is kind of fun do you crazy do you think it's it's truthfully possible in our lifetime our children's lifetime for american civil war or world war three for real at a global scale yes all would take is a big event all take is a big event i mean look what happened during like um the post-george floyd murder riots where everybody was like freaking out and right worried that you know anarchy was gonna take over the city streets and i remember the video of the the cars the cop cars on fire in los angeles it was wild yeah i posted the video on my instagram it was videos of like there was like several cop cars on fire like the night of the riots right and that video i remember thinking like imagine seeing that video 10 years ago you'd be like there's no way there's no way this could be but this if this happened the way this happened and then some another big event happened another big event took place and they blamed
that big event whether it's on the republicans or the liberals right that someone did something horrific yeah and killed people and then they decided to retaliate and then [ __ ] gets sideways well like that's 100 possible i mean look at the french revolution you know when marie antoinette is saying let them eat cake like again that was at the top of french society things were good they were they were at that time as good as they are now and then what happened they cut the king's head off because the wage gap is so big and they feel that a little bit now too where it's like poor people are getting really really really poor especially now and then rich are getting very very rich not just that but what about the supply chain problems they're running on a baby formula and [ __ ] that that stuff freaks people the [ __ ] out that is one of those things when i i was in a walgreens the other day shout out to walgreens i was i was i was there and i saw empty baby shelves empty shelves of baby food and you know my daughter's about to be 11 months so she's drinking regular milk now but i was like if this was six months ago like what do people do like what do they do what do you do i mean this is why conspiracy theorists love moments like this because they instead of assuming that it's like massive incompetence and a series of events that causes a disaster they just assume that you know they're trying to starve us out they're trying to starve the babies that's a [ __ ] super complex conspiracy that would involve a lot of people keeping their mouth shut and doing something that's really evil right or most people are dumb right and then they have these jobs and they [ __ ] this up and it gets to a point where they've made this disastrous miscalculation or series of events have led to a shortage in baby formula isn't it more likely that it's that you see how [ __ ] goofy people are with almost everything yeah i i think like you know just now as you know because it feels like the this is like an age of like conspiracy where like science is more dominant than religion you know it's kind of like as a matter of fact be honest and when we talk about this on historians you say something i never
thought of but he's the one that mentioned it where he was like you know there was times when religion is more prevalent than science and like kind of just gets stuck in the mud at like mid middle ages just stuck in the mud nothing really advanced no advancements really happen because religion is dominant he goes but now science is dominant and religion is down religion's getting a beating and science is dominant so the world's moving very fast yeah but not just that but science is connected to a very specific ideology right it's connected to a progressive ideology to the point where like there's there's some aspects of science that get compromised by ideology right they don't want to even examine whether or not things are whether it's beneficial or non-beneficial whether it's dangerous or problematic because they don't want to run the risk of like offending a specific group right yeah like that whole like thing where it seems like everything's black and white now like where it's like you ha you either do the do the things in the order or the person can't let you on when it's like you know the person who's in charge you know has to make an example of you where it's like we live in this gray world like my daughter's at a birthday party the other day and we're in the amusement park and you have to have wristbands the kids have to have wristbands right and so get on you know my ever all the kids are getting on with the wristbands and one dad the adults had to have tickets and the one the girl she had a wristband but he also had another little kid who wasn't part of the party and he had a ticket for her but he didn't have to take it for himself so he was like can i just go on with my daughter you know she really wants to go on this roller coaster with her sister but she's not big enough yet can i just go on and the guy was like can we do that buddy rules are rules it's like are they like what at what point when would that because i feel like 30 years ago you would have just let the guy on like i feel like pre-911 was a different world that guy would have just let the guy on because it's like of course you stupid [ __ ] maybe just let him on but it's like with this rules our rules thing it's like
i i don't know i know some people just enjoy telling people no too you know and maybe he doesn't have the ability to say yes what do you maybe get fired maybe if they found out that he let him on he can get fired would you i mean could you imagine would you want i wouldn't want to work for a guy that's going to fire me for letting on a small kid there's a lot of people out there that are working for people they don't want to work for it's you know it's they don't want to risk that it's too hard to get a good job if you've got a good job and you like working there you you can't you can't just let a guy on i feel like there's a million jobs now nobody wants actually people are not working there's a lot of service jobs available those are that's a big one that's a big one um but i mean i don't know man some people don't want to have to take a risk like that just for some dude you know you're supposed to get a ticket for you and take it for your [ __ ] kids you shouldn't have a sob story buddy like figure it out yeah but i feel like i would you know the guy was even saying was like i let me go on the ride with her my kid's going crazy my other daughter wants to go we just wait in this long line and i will give you the ticket i'll go buy the ticket and give it to you i probably i'll leave my cell phone here like he was trying to have to get a ticket in advance that's the rules that's the rules but he just oh he said he was going to leave his cell phone yeah he was like i would lead just let me ride the ride with her and then you know he's walks off with both his kids they're crying yelling at him you know and i'm like um and then the guy but i could tell the guy who didn't let the father with his two kids on felt powerful i could tell if he was like yo rules he was telling us he was like he was like rules or rules man you know rules are rules you run into that sometimes with stewardesses like like have you ever had uh like a coach seat and yeah been treated really shittily yes i'm late like i didn't even do anything yet yeah why why are you communicating like you're a school mom you know one of the best things i've ever seen in my entire life and i'm so happy it wasn't
secondhand i'm so happy i was genuinely there to see it from start to finish is i got it was flying somewhere and i was in the first class section i actually i just i was up there it was like a short flight somewhere but it was you know first class it was only a few few bucks more so i got it and and i'm up there and there's a guy in first class who's being like such a dick like from the beginning like a dick like he was asking the flight attendants like ridiculous questions he's like do you guys have um you know he wanted like a fresh mozzarella salad and she was like we have what's in the menu like you know like he was being that and you could just tell he was like every time the guy would try to climb over him to pee he would like look at him like obnoxiously and the flight attendant was a woman like in her 50s very sweet woman and he you know they take your jackets your sports coats or whatever and then at you know when where pilot comes on and says hey we're do the initial descent whatever she starts handing out the jackets to the people and then she's handing his jacket to him and he goes there's a crease in my jacket lady there's a crease in my jacket she goes sir i'm so sorry but you know there's money jackets in here and i'm sorry we you know do what we can when we land but you know whatever so polite and he goes unfucking believable creasing my jack and he's like looking around at all of us and we're like give us a [ __ ] about your dumb jacket so she's he keeps on and you know she's sitting in her bucket seat by this point you know like where i can't see her but you know she's there and he's but he could see her he goes she's unfucking believable goes i'm gonna have your head on a plate for this to this lady and he keeps cursing at her and it's so beyond uncomfortable where you're like oh my god like just shut up guy it's your jacket shut up shut up shut up i don't know we might be truthfully like a thousand feet off the ground like we're gonna hit 500 miles an hour on the landing zone on the on the runway in less than a minute all of a sudden you hear the belt buckle unbuttoned she gets around his face she goes shut the [ __ ] up i will break your [ __ ] arm shut your [ __ ] mouth sir shut the [ __ ] up
whoa and then goes back down and the first class cabin and some of it start clapping like that i never in my life have seen anything like that come to find out when we're getting off the pilot makes an announcement he goes so sorry for some foul language from sandra he goes today is actually her last day she's retiring today and there was a bit of an incident uh but she did 30 years of unbelievable unbelievable exceptional work for delta so let's give sandra a round of applause and the whole plane just clapped for her and i was like oh and this guy felt like such an [ __ ] with his dumb crease jacket just on his lap and then he he got off you know ahead of me i was like row three he was in row one and he's trying to make a complaint and they're like sir you'll do it at the information desk we have to get off this plane this plane has to turn around and i was like wow they're like shuffling this guy out like they had his back so they had her back the flight attendant's back and it was like that poetic i've seen poetic justice like that twice in my life that sounds amazing yeah it was cr that was one and then when i was a kid this i should have gotten into mixed martial arts back then because i saw something happen that was wild my dad was taking your knicks game 1995 96 i'm a little kid my dad's taking me to the knicks game stay game's great we're going home my dad would always take me on the subway all the way back home to where i live with my mom and we're on the train maybe 10 30 at night and there's a man and his wife and their daughter sitting in between them and you could tell something's wrong she's holding her ears right like like she's in pain looks like she's in pain and this group of teenagers get or maybe guys in their early 20s and they're being like insanely loud like loud they're like go like kind of just causing a ruckus it's new york city subway [ __ ] like that happens all the time so loud and and the father so like politely is like hey guys i know it's
free space but my daughter has a double ear infection we're on the way to the doctor now please if you could just keep it down or or if you want to yell like yell in the next car please and then the guy goes you'll [ __ ] you like that and and i'm sitting my father my father was sitting across and my father says to me he goes this is going to be bad he goes look at that guy's ears and and he had like that cauliflower ear he goes look don't ever mess with a guy who has ears like that never and he was like it's going to be bad and i was like okay and then the guy's just sitting there and he's when the guy when the kid the 20 year old guy said to the father you know shut the [ __ ] up or whatever the wife just immediately starts rubbing the father's back just rubbing him she's like honey just whatever she's saying i can't really make it up but i see rub in the back so he's sitting there and they keep yelling and she's like the you see the little girl like school like you must you know you know how painful it is have a double ear infection now you got people now now actively screaming oh and it must be just put you know right into her brain and the father says guys i'm gonna give you one more chance just please please please don't make me have to act don't make me have to act please don't please just go to the next car please and the guy the 20 year old at the top of his lungs screams like to be funny with his boys like like that to basically be like [ __ ] you in one motion the guy gets up i don't know what kind of technique you would know more than me if you saw it has him in like a [ __ ] headlock and then what looked like breaks his arm off a pole like off the pole or [ __ ] breaks his arm the kids on the floor screaming maybe crying my memory doesn't i don't remember that but crying somebody pulls the emergency brake now we're stopped in the middle of the tunnel the police walk onto the train again this is pre-911 where like rules were a little more relaxed police get on the train everybody says
what the story was this guy gave him so many attempts daughter's got an ear infection they winds up they take the father and the daughter off to get the daughter to i guess whatever more emergency place or whatever route they have to get her infection looked at and they arrested the kid with the broken arm oh my god i was like whoa those are the two times i saw like crazy poetic justice that mosh that time and the flight attendant that was just a couple years ago i was like holy [ __ ] dude yeah people get away with a lot of [ __ ] man now they do well sometimes they do sometimes you know sometimes you get to watch it on video yeah it's just like when someone gets their ass kicked like the guy at the uh newark airport like he's watching his video going around because he smacks that dude in the head but they the thing is like that the the thing that has been going around is a shorter version of one that's a little longer okay the little longer one they were kind of like swinging at each other before that there was something that happened right before them and then there was the one where the guy slapped him in the face and then he the other guy knocks him out that guy was on the denver broncos practice squad that's a that's a fact that's a giant human giant human and then why would you [ __ ] with him well and i have a friend who works as a baggage handler in that section of the airport and said that that the employee i think it's united is is going to lose his job that that's what everyone's saying he's going to can't get in a [ __ ] slap fight with a guy you can't do or even if you didn't get fired would you go back to work after getting punched into the luggage rack and then getting up like stumbling around how do you go back to your position like nothing happened people are gonna remember that i would leave i would i wouldn't work for that airline anymore but it's also like once you are if you're on at a job and you're in the service industry which is essentially what you are you're working behind the counter at an airport and you wind up getting in a fight with someone you got a video of it i'm trying to find the longer one it's like i get customers can push people to their
[ __ ] limits i get that right but once you get in a full-on fist fight most likely you don't work there anymore no no no there's a video of you slapping a man and then getting ko'd so there's some [ __ ] see see what's going on before that right we're slapping each other see see he threw some punches at him before that and then he hit right see and a couple times see actually this guy's taking it watch this yes watch this see and then he smacks him in the head okay so this is after that dude that already hit him a bunch of times see right and then he and then you see this is one of the let's pause this right here because there's a lesson in this this is why video is so deceptive right like a viral video that's taken out of context can be so deceptive so we don't know what words were said between these two guys we really don't know what happened but if you go all the way to the beginning they were swinging at each other right so see it looks like he touches him first though go back yeah he still looks like he's strong yeah it looks like he pushes him first and then the other dude slaps him in the head and then he takes a couple swings at him the guy moves away and gets clipped a little bit and then he hits him again and again and again and then he steps forward and slaps him in the face so that is all everybody saw and then you see this punch land and then another one and now he's flatlined but there was a lot of [ __ ] that went down before this that most people didn't say didn't see rather because the the video that was going around was only right after this what's interesting to me though is like this guy the guy who got knocked out can take a punch and seems not to be afraid but why when he gets his opening does he softly [ __ ] slap him because he's so confused he's probably rocked he's cracked he's all already discombobulated watch this let's go back to the beginning you know i'm sure you've been hitting the head before yeah there's one now watch this they're standing in front of each other that one lands that one lands stumbles back so he's rocked right now that one lands that one lands so he's [ __ ] right now
he don't know what he's doing like that dudes he's [ __ ] seeing stars his bell's rung and then he gets hit again and now he's going out bam and then the second one so when he let goes and lays back damn when he hit it last time it's no good none of it was good but it was like those punches that he got hit with before he slapped that guy probably had him out of his [ __ ] he was disoriented he's completely disoriented he doesn't know what so what is the course of action do you have to arrest both of them well i don't know because maybe there was some [ __ ] that went 15 seconds before that that explains why he pushed him who the [ __ ] knows yeah that's why the police always have like the real footage like i have a friend i'm sure you have many friends who are police like there's time and probably illegally does this but there's times where like a video will be on the news and then he'll send you the real video and then it looks like different stuff happened or he'll tell you like a real story like i remember i remember in it was like a big article um in new york it was happening like um you know like anti-asian hate like an asian person elderly person i got pushed over and it was on the front page anti-asian hate anti-aging which you know was prob unfortunately probably happening but he my friend was like you know you know he goes it's happening for sure it's happening he goes but you know that person who happened to be asian was one of like 15 elderly people that was pushed over one of them got pushed down the stairs and is dead at the bottom of the subway but they didn't fit the agenda that the media wanted that day so that's the thing is like it's cherry-picking at times you know not everything but i remember that day i was like oh oh look at this oh he was arrested x-nfl player yeah yeah cops tell us the passenger ex-nfl player brendan langley was arrested and charged with simple assault langley was a third round pick in 2017 nfl draft out of lamar university the employee has been fired following the incident so it's it's interesting it's like i
don't know what happened he said the law enforcement tells us the pastor was arrested not the employee despite the passengers claim that he didn't throw the first punch it seems like at least from what we saw there that the employee touches him first right it seems like that it seems like he kind of pushed him more than he punched him right but then the other dude started teeing off on him yeah yeah yeah i mean he get punched like that man you don't know what the [ __ ] going on when i i was in high school they um if you had an altercation like if you got into like the first couple years of high school then it changed they i had an old boy catholic high school and then they let girls in but when they were just boys and it was like a tradition at the high school i went to if you got into a fight like me and you were classmates and we got into a fight like just a verbal you would go to the basement after school and a teacher was there to supervise it they put on boxing gloves and let you like duke it out holy [ __ ] yeah what if a guy was like bigger than you and tougher than you and beat you up and then you had to get in the ring with them again afterwards that was their mentality to be like don't fight because if you fight if you any type of altercation all you're going to have to do that with gloves on but what if it's just like a bully who's way bigger than a guy who beats him up that's the way the rules were oh my god i mean that's terrifying so you get your ass kicked and you have to fight them yeah like with gloves on well it was by the time i got to the high school it they weren't doing it so much anymore but you saw where the ring was and i was like that's a crazy way bro think about what they did with the spartans i mean they had kids fighting when they were little yeah yeah i mean they made them little warriors if they weren't good babies they'd leave them in the woods that might be on with them what did you say is that a myth is that what you're going to say no no i've seen a myth i said that might have been when you asked me to go back in time that would be the only one i consider other than the revolutionary war is to see that that formation that they had what was the formation called what the the troops um they would do that um in the
movie 300 you know they would make like that triangle yeah and they like it was like impenetrable i would love to see that like thermopylae yeah something like that to see only to see if it's true or not there's a lot of things that i was like is it true or is it not because you know even like revolutionary war stuff like they say when you start to do the research that the declaration of independence wasn't what the people wanted at that time it was like propaganda it was like american it was like propaganda like we all we wanted when all we were saying was we want people to represent us you know taxation without representation that's all we want is to be represented in parliament as a colony that's it but then the war efforts going on and you know a year goes by and all of the soldiers the colonial soldiers kind of um time is up they want to go back to their farms they miss their wives they miss their kids and washington and all that benjamin franklin all these people are like wait a second how do we get these soldiers to stay and then they hired thomas payne to write common sense which was like the first viral it was like the you know the big tick tock of the day was a pamphlet and it was like oh don't you want don't you want to declare freedom from the tear you know tyrannical british and most people were like no we have safety with these people and then their story is like that they created the founding fathers kind of created this myth and it created like this thing that people were like all right yeah actually we do [ __ ] them so i would like to see like what the what's the truth right what is that talk i'd like to sit down with a random colonial person just from any colony and just sit down and be like in 1774 how do you really feel about the british buddy what pisses you off about them and just have them eat molasses making shoes just [ __ ] talking to me you know yeah and that's i would like that because we know what george washington said or we know what you know [ __ ] any famous historical i mean it's written down whether it's [ __ ] or not but it's like what did joe from massachusetts say 1774 joe what did that guy think you know was there were their conspiracy
theorists back then what were those conspiracies what did they think was [ __ ] wild because the top you ever think about like the top scientist the smartest per the elon musk of the day in 1700 just doesn't know anything compared to they have no i they were like oh yeah the sun the earth goes around the sun you're like what right no it's sim now it's like what don't we know yeah i think about that a lot it's like what the top guy now 300 years from now they'd be like remember how cute elon was when he used to think about that dumb stuff and it's like i think by the time that happens we'll be incorporated with technology i think that's going to be the big leap with people it's going to be like there's a biological sort of a bottleneck mm-hmm that biological things can only get so good so quick sure technological things can get good really quick really easy but if the technological thing can affect the biological thing like you know you can have some [ __ ] super chip in your brain that allows you to get 5g wi-fi everywhere sure that that's what's going to happen that that's what i think is going to be like the big change we're going to look back on people that were normal biological people it almost feels like it's all going too fast now i mean it is we said like 20 years ago i mean like you know we had look at what an ipod and we saw an ipad now looking at that thing it's and now but like if you took somebody from i don't know 1600 and then dropped them off in 1700 not much of their life would look different like we still got ships we got no planes we still got disease we still got maybe little things but not now it's like you go in a coma for 10 years when jerry came out of prison 20 years later he was like the cars were going so fast the phones he didn't know anything and that was just 20 years of being incarcerated and i was and and i was i think about that like how fast can it go i mean anything it's right if you go the train goes off the tracks when it goes too fast so yeah i think about that i don't have any clue at all how to stop it what to do nobody does i'm just like try to listen to the smart people see what they say i think
it's a natural function of progression that everything gets more complex if you look at the beginning of the universe to now like it seems like everything just keeps getting more complex right like if you look at like the universe starts with the big bang allegedly um so that's the beginning and from then everything expands and from supernovas the carbon gets created like literally from like a star exploding the carbon gets created that makes human beings so something happens and then from that thing happens this one thing emerges that can change like consciously decide to make changes to the environment around it to the point where it gets to the point where it can literally nuke every man woman and child off the face of the earth if it wanted to in one day right it could kill everything make the entire world in pop like unpopulable because that's not a word what's the word i'm looking for what's the word unhabitable uninhabitable yeah oh my god that's not even a word i'm using that tonight in a sentence it's it seems like things keep getting more complex from the beginning of the first wheel to this guy figures out how to put a [ __ ] uh leather tire on it to what we have today to teslas to some [ __ ] in the future that's autonomous and it just rides on your [ __ ] brain waves you tell it in your head where you want to go and it just takes you there and it never there's no more accidents anymore we look back on accidents as a tragic barbaric thing of the past like horseback injuries yeah you know i mean if that becomes a thing in our lifetime it's going to change everything if you're not allowed to drive anymore if these things drive you and then if the government gets to decide whether they could shut off your driving thing right you know but that's just one part of it and you're what if you become incorporated with that thing what if that thing becomes like almost like an extension of you as a human being because you're electronically connected to it yeah and then you might be in you might think like oh well then i'll be alive forever but that might be torment that might be like a tormentful thing tormented soul it could easily be that like the big fear with me is that
someone comes to the conclusion or nature comes to the conclusion that emotions are problematic because although they create great energy and they they emotions create things like love and things like creativity and the passion that someone has expressing themselves in music or in anything that we enjoy you know you see that that the part of that is emotion right when janice joplin singing take a little piece of my heart out that that song like you feel emotion in that right what if we decide that emotion is what's causing all the war emotions causing all the rejection and the anxiety and all the problems that the people have with uh just existential angst and the way you interface with life what if you could just interface with things in a pure data-driven way where you don't have to worry anymore there's no more worry yeah or or that's also like i think if you remove the emotion that's how you get control i mean it seems like you know hitler all these people that's they kill the artist first they kill the creative people first because if you can think rationally outside the box then it's very it's more difficult to control that's why i when i from actually listening to your i think it was is it michael pollard michael michael pollan that guy i've been watching hit going down the rabbit hole with him because just randomly saw it how he when he said he stopped drinking coffee for three months and then he's talking about the ayahuasca and something i never even thought of when he's like you know why are some drugs like the drugs that can connect you to like that spirit molecule the dmt the ayahuasca if then you know then you know maybe you don't fear death as much you're harder to control that way but like alcohol and other things get easier it dumbs you down those things almost could be argued make you smarter and more intellectual more intelligent so like even maybe that's what happens you get some top person gets power and they're like i can't control them when they're so smart and connected well let me remove their emotions you know that's there's actually a book called the immortality key that's all about the use
of psychedelic drugs in ancient greece and how the authorities at the time the people in power at the time shut down and that the uh i think it was was it the pope was it that shut it down i forget who initially that shut down what they shut down these psychedelic ceremonies that they were doing okay and you're talking about bbc okay and so there's this guy named brian murray rescue and he made he wrote this book called the immortality key and he came on to talk about it and one of the things they found was um through these ancient vessels like pottery vessels that there was residue of psychedelic substances that was mixed in with the wine wow yeah so like how do you say what is the express illusionian mysteries i think that's how you say it yes ellucis the it's a weird word though illusionian it doesn't say even when i'm saying it right it sounds like we should just pick a new word for it just make it easier but these people like intellectuals of the time would make a trek there to learn and to take part in these rituals and no one knew what these rituals were it's like it's hard to know exactly what they did and when you read the sort of cryptic descriptions of right what they're leaving out when they're talking about wine we think of wine as being wine like or go buy a nice chardonnay yeah no that's not what wine is to them wine was stuff where things were always mixed into it so they always it wasn't just grapes that were fermented it was grapes that are fermented but but a bunch of other stuff and they would throw a lot of psychedelic stuff like ergot which is like a type of fungus that it gives you an lsd-like effect so they were basically tripping their [ __ ] balls off right and writing literally the foundations of western democracy right they were coming up with all this stuff most likely while they were tripping right because and and you know like when i watched listen to some other people like again i'm all new at this like the last couple of months is when i've started to really should read this book because it's perfect for you because you love history and you you're also curious about this this subject
read that book the immortality immortality it's opened up a field of study in harvard his research is open and one of the things that other people that work with him have uncovered and in uncovering all this evidence they've opened up this field of study in harvard now where they're examining whether or not these psychedelic compounds played a big part in human history but do you think like when i listen to like a graham hancock who again i just discovered you know like do you think though that like let's say it's proven to be true that the psychedelics they did do that and they have a positive effect would the government make them legal or do you believe that the government doesn't want that stuff out there because they know how powerful it is and how much better we could get as humans because of it that's why i'm so kind of like thinking about doing it i'm like i think like you almost need that from again the brief research i've done on it and just really listening to experts in the field like are you even a complete human and at the highest function forum if you don't at least do that natural stuff that ancient people have been doing for years i mean one of the guests on the show said that they give shots of ayahuasca to newborn babies in some culture yeah i don't know if those cultures are doing the right thing yeah i don't know these cultures that [ __ ] their kids too you know the popoun new guinea all the horrible [ __ ] the semen warriors you know that story like you can't ever say like a culture does it must be good yeah like who the hell knows well i'm just saying if there's kids because i would think if you told me uh i think it's your party you can become a good person without it right you think meditation is key if you're not medic you think you have to be meditating you know i think everybody needs a different thing and uh unfortunately because i think it would be great if there was like one size fits all like hey take mushrooms you'll be a better person i don't think that's real just like i don't think there's one one diet fit all one exercise program fit all one uh interests and hobbies category that fits
all it doesn't work like people we vary so [ __ ] much man right we're the same thing but we vary so much there's people that do things every day that you and i couldn't imagine doing once yeah we do it every day with glee and we're terrified of it or we we find it boring or we're just completely uninterested in other people it's their whole life you think you have to just accept who you are and not resist who you are you got to find who you are cultivate who you are and you can in some ways you can create who you are in that you can choose to be better at things choose to be a better person choose to be a better comedian choose to be a better athlete you can choose to be better at things and you literally change who you are like whoever michael jordan was before he played basketball is not the same guy that became michael jordan the hall of famers one of the greatest athletes of all time that guy became something he made himself turned himself through will and effort and thought and hard work changed who he is yeah i read this i i you know i feel like i almost it's weird like the last six months we have almost been like do i have like cancer or something like that like i'm i have something that i don't even know about yet where i'm gonna die and these are like the last few years of my life because i was just like something just shifted in me because i you know i have two kids now but when i had my first kid you would think it'd be extremely impactful and it was but now like this i've been reading trying to read so much about not even so much history i do love history but but you know i've been trying to read other stuff like i just read this book um the five things you must know before you die by john izzo and he interviewed um all people on their deathbed from all different walks of life all different cultures creeds all different levels of intelligence but all of them had to be i think be over 75 and be at end of life care so they all had but cognitively aware and they all were saying the same things in different languages about not making money your god at all that you know the guy on
his deathbed he was like i i i don't i wish i i wish i was surrounded by my family instead of my bmw's that's what i see on my window i don't care about them i wish my family was here um and they all said uh the same thing is it's not about all these people said it's not about failing everyone's gonna fail all the people who are angry at the end of their life never took a chance to fail they instead of they never faced the failure they just said i'm not going to do it and they lived their life comfortably and now they're on their deathbed being like oh i would give anything back to do it where the people who took all these chances and failed a lot of them people were on their bed death beds almost penniless but joy is so happy because they took so many opportunities and none and they failed at all of them some some people failed at like 90 of what they tried and they were so happy because at least they took the chance to do it and i was like wow like i there's a lot of things that i've done in my life there's a lot of things i have tried like comedy and getting a doctor degree and and all that stuff i was like oh wow i did that but then there's a lot of things i haven't because i was just and i'm like man like listening to these people it's like just try everything safely try everything that you can and i i wasn't like that like six months ago i was very like i'm just gonna do comedy that's what i want to do i'm in the comedy zone i do this and now i'm like into real estate now i'm into you know trying to get into even though i'm gonna about to be 38 i'm like i can start mma now i've always wanted to it's always been a thing in me like how come you know how to defend yourself i'm starting i'm trying to try to do that i'm starting to try to you know get out here and like you know learn more about psychedelics and i'm i feel it like i almost feel like i can't stop myself from doing psychedelics like it's gonna happen like i just where six months ago i'd be like i'm terrified what if my heart stops and now i'm like well if i take a psychedelic and my heart stops then i'll just continue on with whatever the next part of my existence i think is nobody can tell you what's going to happen that's why it's
so weird but it's probably a part of why humans became humans right i mean there's a guy named terence mckenna who had a theory about the evolution of man and it involved mushrooms they called it the stoned ape theory yeah and the stoned ape theory is about how there's a giant leap in human brain size it's like one of the most confusing things in the entire fossil record because the human brain size i think i think the the it's more than doubles over a period of two million years and they have no idea why they don't know why they they have guesses cooked food some of them they think it might be throwing things they figured out how to throw things and that created weapons and weapons why because you could say away from an animal something like that yeah so you can hunt things that you weren't exactly supposed to but it doesn't make sense that that would make your brain grow that fast but the thing that mckenna said was that if you look at the timeline of when humans their brains grew it's at the same time where the uh the rainforests were receding in the grasslands okay and so when the rainforests were receding in the grasslands um there was a lot of undulates like cow-type creatures and a lot of the primates came down from the trees and they would flip over cow patties and find like beetles and bugs and worms and [ __ ] to eat and on the top of cow patties were often mushrooms and he thinks it's very reasonable to assume they would have experimented with those mushrooms to see if they're edible and one of the things you find when you do eat psilocybin which is very common in cow [ __ ] psilocybin in low doses increases visual acuity which means you can see things better which would make you a better hunter and they've proven this with the there was a guy i forget the guy's name but he was a psychologist that i think was a psychologist and he did these studies on psilocybin and edge detection meaning that like if you you took 100 random people and gave 50 of them psilocybin and 50 of them nothing the ones that took the psilocybin could detect if you had two parallel lines if the line moved off the
parallel the the ones who are on psilocybin could detect it quicker so it changes the way you see things it makes you horny in low doses it brings about a sense of community and creativity and it might even encourage the creation of language and his brother dennis explained that but i'm not gonna i'm not gonna butcher that but he actually explained it on my podcast why the way psilocybin interacts with human neurochemistry would encourage the creation of language so if that's if that's the case that's these primates experimenting with mushrooms accelerated our development far beyond what it would have been if we hadn't done that interesting yeah i feel like there's almost no way that those types of drugs weren't a huge impact in our development i also think distractions were a lot lower probably back then and like you know when like great pyramid stuff when i listen all these great thinkers talk about it i'm like but also like maybe feats like that would be impossible now because of distractions and unions and this and that but back then it's like if i told you you need to get that brick in that right place before you're going to get whipped and or killed you would have a higher chance of doing it yeah you just get whipped or killed this is not i think that's yeah i think it's about i don't think it was about like forcing people to do it as much as it is about skilled labor they don't they just have recently decided i think it was within the last couple of decades that those people that worked in the pyramids were probably well paid and they found because like they found camps like the type of food that they ate right and they think they were it was skilled labor but they still the problem is they don't have any [ __ ] idea how they did it the craziest thing about is the technology that exists to move that stuff there's no evidence of it right like it's the the pyramids were almost like if you wanted to prove that civilization gets to extreme heights and then gets reset you would have to leave behind something
that would defy time and the only thing that you're really going to leave behind that defies time is made out of stone and it's huge and that's what they did they made something right that defied our current understanding of construction because if if you ask people could you build the pyramid today there's a lot of people that will arrogantly say yes of course we could build a pyramid of course we could do it today it's not that easy right maybe people could do it today but you have to think about people doing it four thousand five thousand six thousand years ago could they do how the [ __ ] did they do it then there's two million 300 000 stones that they're cut so perfectly that they come to a [ __ ] point at the top yeah and it points on each corner to true north south east and west right there's 2 three hundred thousand [ __ ] stones some of them are from quarries that were hundreds of miles away bro it's nuts do you think that do you is your opinion then that maybe psilocybin and things like that were involved in in this type of stuff i think we are arrogant to assume that this is the greatest height that humanity has ever reached yeah i agree with i think if i think those things point to uh humanity that existed where or a civilization that existed that was way more complex than we understand and i think something happened and because of the graham hancock podcast and a guy named randall carlson who i've had on i've been introduced to the younger driest impact theory and the younger driest impact theory coincides with the end of the ice age and there's a lot of physical evidence that somewhere around like i think it was more than one time but from an area of like 12 000 years ago up until like 11 000 years ish the earth probably got hit multiple times by a comet shower right we probably got [ __ ] up and the way they find it is they do core samples they fight iridium and it's all around that same area of time when they get into that twelve thousand and ten thousand years like there's a lot of iridium which is really common in space and really rare on earth and they find nuclear glass
is this [ __ ] that they find when they do nuclear test blasts right and it also happens when asteroids hit so they found this stuff also in that same time period so like i think earth got lit up and it probably killed a large percentage of the population do you think there are people in this world in this country like groups of people that know for a fact some of these things that we debate daily no they're trying to figure that out they're trying to figure that out that no one knows for a fact you don't know for a fact what happened 12 000 years ago but you could look at a lot of evidence right the randall carlson evidence is really fascinating because it literally coincides with the end of the ice age and a rapid death of a large percentage of animals on in north america including humans yeah but not all of us we live right right but the [ __ ] that coincides with the end of the mammoth it coincides with the end of the saber-tooth tiger like all those animals get wiped out or there's like something around 65 percent of all the megafauna gets wiped out well we might be in a place where we could or at least our kids will know like like you know like when lewis and clark embarked on their lewis and clark expedition they nobody from america had been any further really west of like i think ohio so they were like maybe the end of the earth is there they thought lewis and clark were fully they packed tools like we might encounter dinosaurs and that was just 200 years ago they genuinely thought like there's a possibility there's a brontosaurus out there because we didn't have any of this info yet and that was only 200 plus years ago so we could be in this crossroads now where it's like because what you said too is interesting when you're like oh we always think we're at the height of society like you know in lincoln's time or right before lincoln like you know talking about a like a like a president's sex life or or were they gay were they straight none of that was a scandal it was like accepted right of roman empire it's like you know gay it was all acceptable nobody had an issue with it but you would think though oh now we're the most progressive and it's like now i think they were they were progressive back then it's just it goes in cycles i think
it does go in cycles and you know another thing to take into consideration is how long the stuff that we have that we rely on on a day-to-day basis would last if we weren't around right like if our phones like it's like i was just in detroit right okay so detroit is a great example because detroit fell apart in i guess it was the 80s when it all went down the the destruction of detroit and then you look at the homes that have been overtaken by trees right away it's wild dude like trees popping through the roof of a house right like there's a lot of them and that's only 20 that's only 40 years ago exactly so how long do you think your phone would be around if you just left it in the dirt if your phone got covered by dirt right the earth would consume it in a few hundred years for sure yeah there would be no evidence so now imagine 5 000 years yeah so if we're going back to the time where we think they made the great pyramid of giza which is like 2 500 bc-ish somewhere around then that's just you know they're kind of it's a lot of you know estimates but that who the [ __ ] knows what they had we don't there's not it's not going to be here yeah or like or like you know i i saw like all on the news the other day like oh there's a doorway on potential doorway on mars and it's like how do you know who knows what the hell that is but it's like you wreck a bunch of [ __ ] on mars though they've sent a bunch of satellites up there so well it said that it was a did you see what i'm talking about it was like a door i didn't read it though they said it was like a like a door like into like a room like it looked but again it could just you know like what yeah that can't be real they said it's uh zoomed in and it's just like a natural rock formation shut the [ __ ] up they're lying to us the egyptians right is that the only image of it yeah but my thing is like could not look more man more man-made because it's like if that was a million years of being untouched i mean like like if a million if we got an answer we all got wiped out today and a million years from now there would be no evidence of anything we would be miles underneath the earth so like why couldn't that happen in mars maybe god is hilarious and god's like i got an
idea i'm gonna leave behind a fake door on mars yeah just leave that looks so much like a compound like that looks like something from star wars where like you know yeah you land on the if you had the opportunity would you go to mars just to see it no you won't because i feel like mars is like whatever it's just like going to arizona i would want to go dude i don't even want to go to the desert why would i want to go to another whole desert planet yeah i don't even if you gave me a free chance to even go into space i just don't i have no i have zero desire to do it i might be interested in going to space just so i could get the perspective of looking down on the earth from orbit i think it must be wild i think that must be wild i think because astronauts talk about it they're they're pretty unanimous in it that it's a life-changing perspective enhancer that you you see the earth from above and then the whole idea of like countries and war and like separated by borders seems so insane when you're like way above it looking down you're like oh my god most of our problems would be solved if we didn't think in terms of borders and we didn't have groups of people that control massive groups of people because all they want to do is profit off controlling massive groups then you get totalitarian governments like china and north korea and then the people are [ __ ] entrapped in this ideology and you're [ __ ] and you look up down and you're like this is nuts no we got like hives of people that are living in these patches of that think for some reason they have a dispute with people they've never even met which is insane it's lines on a map i mean listen i love you know being an american but i will i will tell you like five years ago my sense of patriotism was a lot stronger than it is now not that i love this country any less but i'm like it's stupid i was just biologically born here it's just it's just like a lottery ball coming out i could have been born anywhere yes but look earth look earth could be all like the best aspect of america's what my point is yeah it's not that america is awesome and only awesome is that if everyone had as much freedom as we have in america the world
would be a better place and if we could get what is wrong with america sorted out right solve all the inequities solve all the inequality solve all the [ __ ] with horrible displaced communities where they have no hope fix these these real problems that we have here at home it's kind of crazy how much time we put into other things like outside of america when you look at how [ __ ] some of the cities in america are well that or look at we're sending billions of dollars to ukraine russia and there's no formula on the shelves in cvs i mean i don't know where that [ __ ] money's coming from like i wish i understood how they allocate money to problems because if you don't think there's enough problems in america to like allocate money if you if if they're not paying attention to what the [ __ ] is going on in chicago the crazy amount of gunfire that they have in the south side of chicago and that is why it's wild it's like that's just going to keep going it's a full war zone i do i think that you know i think that again i don't know i'm not i think the powers that be whoever that is there's just a lot of money in keeping us divided a lot of money and keeping us angry that's why the media cherry pick stories to make problems way bigger than they appear you see you know we see it nightly in comedy clubs i mean what do you got you got a bunch of different people different ideologies races religions cultures creeds just laughing or not laughing in unison yeah that's more more natural honestly yeah but the problem is it's profitable like if they have a horrible story that pisses everybody off everybody's going to click on it but but i don't you think though we're at a point now where like no we're in more i would blindly believe the news just right before the pandemic i would blindly believe them but now i think most people don't most people know it's like they're this is a this is like a talk show like cnn and fox it's way more dangerous than a talk show because it's funded by a very specific group of people that want to put out a very specific narrative and that's one of the reasons why the rise of independent news sources like breaking points and all these other different shows that they have that are that are out there now that's what's interesting to people
because now you get you get real news from actual journalists who's one of their things that they're selling their currency is honesty right because we don't get that from one thing if you're going to listen to fox news or you're going to listen to cnn you're going to get ideologically driven yes information right depending on who the source is which anchor it is that's talking but you're going to get it from the right on fox you're going to get it from the left what about if someone just tells the [ __ ] truth i agree those don't exist on television anymore not anymore no i kind of it's it's more on the internet or like these other places like it's kind of like um you know the cnn and fox news it's like you know it's chain food it's tv fridays where it's like the best food is the mom and pop places and that's where i try to focus if i'm going to look at the news i've tried actually though i think you know there's an obligation of course to be informed i think just being a person being a comic whatever but i've really really really i mean with i would say most of my energy you know trying to lose that anxiety most of my energy every [ __ ] day even more than physical at the gym more than anything else has been trying trying with literally every cell in my body every day to get off or to limit myself from social media because i believe in my heart that it is as bad for you as cigarettes were when the cigarettes they were doing commercials for cigarettes in the 50s i love cigarettes whatever and now what 100 years from now you may look back and be like how the corrosion so just i've been off twitter for nine nine days now i still have i have you know somebody tweet for me i send them what i want to be said in my videos or wherever i'm gonna be promos but i don't look at it and then just in nine days i feel you know i'm silly you know when i'm to go start the podcast oh i hate myself if there's a silliness to that it's just me but genuinely honestly truthfully gun to my head i feel in just nine days like incredibly hap so much happier because just a couple of it just takes one or two to get past the goalie and then it hurts you i mean yeah it hurt
you know when you see things about like your comedy your look you're this you're that how you are what they heard you say on this podcast it's painful to hear any negative response so i used to think oh i have to take it all in if you want to keep progressing in this career you got to take the positives and the negatives and i'm like why do i have to do that i'm only going to live once i just want people to say positive things about or hear positive things about me i know what i'm doing wrong i i can self-critique and i can have members of my family or close friend group tell me something i've tried to make a point now to make like a real fundamental decision to be like i'm not going to let someone i don't know that i've never met influence my behavior or my mentality at all including politicians or newscasters i don't care because i'm like i don't know them oh so-and-so is an idiot i'm like yeah i don't know like you said it could have been edited the video's edited i'm like i've never met any president or politician or newscaster i think care about what my dad thinks of me you know what my daught my girl thinks of me like i'm trying to just focus on that and i've gotten like noticeably happier and just less interesting but you have to understand like when we're talking about social media what you're experiencing is very unusual it's not regular social media you're experiencing social media where thousands and thousands of strangers are judging you right so when you talk about that like the average per if you tell the average person social media is bad for you they're like well i'm just like reading stuff like what's the big deal that's true well it's bad for you when it's negative and the problem with anything that anyone's doing in the public eye is you're going to get a certain percentage of negative and whether it's 10 to 1 or 100 to 1 what that one that sneaks through is going to freak you out more than the 100 that love you it still even hurts you at your level you'll still if you see one it hurts you don't like it right it's not nice to see that someone dislikes you enough to state it publicly nobody likes that right and if you do like it there's probably something wrong with you right like you shouldn't like that someone
doesn't like you that's weird it's like it's the defense mechanism but the point is is that that's an incredibly unusual position to be in right that doesn't exist in nature like there's one person and this person doesn't know all those other people but all those other people are watching all the stuff that they do right that's crazy right that is [ __ ] insane like that position the position to be in like a person like yourself that's putting stuff out on social media no one knows how to handle that okay because it's not natural no one has it they can talk all that [ __ ] they want but no one does no one gets that spot except the people who get to that spot so whether it's you or whether it's [ __ ] giannis or chris rock or whoever the [ __ ] posts on twitter right and reads their stuff and reads all the stuff that people are saying about him you're you're letting your [ __ ] state of mind be influenced by untold millions of people randomly which is not a good gamble i think i think yeah because that's a good point which again it's not a solid game to think of because i only now i'm doing comedy whatever 12 years but only now am i starting to sell out shows and theaters and get recognized and get hated more than that so i wasn't ready for it i thought people liked me you know and then and then they do because people have always been like oh chris you're a nice guy whatever your therapist i think your therapist might be gay for you but then i've hooked up with my therapist but then but then on social media when especially when i put the special on netflix because now i'm outside my podcast fan base now it's like your comedy sucks right right you suck you're a storyteller you're stick to podcasts all that and i was like i don't like that and then i had this conflict inside me where i was like am i a [ __ ] for getting off twitter because i don't want to see that am i a [ __ ] and then i kind of just made my own decision where i was like no i just don't want to deal with it i don't it was it was hurting me too much i'm still going to keep going my career and i understand in the public eye you get more but i was like i don't need to see it at that level every second of every
day you don't need to see it you are a self-critical person and you know there's good in that and you know that can get away with from you too i mean you gotta at a certain point in time you just gotta appreciate the moment of life and don't be even too self-critical but but you only have so much time in the day and the way i always describe it is this way i said if your your entire consciousness everything that you're capable of thinking of is like a bandwidth like you have a hundred units of these things and and then you take 30 units i have friends that have killed a [ __ ] vacation because they went on twitter they read something that someone said about them and then they clicked on an article and read the article and then wrote a response article so they're in [ __ ] hawaii with their family their families out by the pool having a good time they're in the hotel room going oh yeah well [ __ ] you and they're writing and this guy is brilliant by the way it's it's insanity right the idea that people could think that that's healthy right you're gonna if you are putting your stuff out there and you're clearly doing that right you're going to have criticism you're going to have a certain amount of it but you can't expect the norm normal mind of a human being which is what you have and what i have just a normal mind yeah to comprehend what the [ __ ] it's like to get criticism from a million people you can't comprehend it yeah it's too crazy i mean because back in the day it's like even if you were going to get criticized it's like it was just by the people in your village you know what i mean nobody you're not trying to be criticized by the people in your village that's where it's interesting yeah because you're trying to be criticized by the whole world right that's what you do when you put something out there so you can't be shocked but don't digest it no well that's i'm trying to have it in your life i'm trying to be proactive about it and be like okay if this is gonna happen if the career's gonna go the way i wanted to then here's how i'm gonna here's what i'm gonna do to try to protect myself the people that i know that are on twitter all the time they get in disputes that wound up keeping them up at night they go crazy and
they'll tell me about it you know i couldn't [ __ ] sleep and then i got so upset and i'm reading the replies and i'm replying to them and i can't wait to see how they replied to my reply bro i know this is not real you're not at a war no this is like some weird you it's like you're sending evil notes on passenger pigeons back and forth to each other this is so [ __ ] you made it all up well that's why i think having children is such a blessing because it takes me nature took takes me out of it be like hey your kid is your kids it like all day long it's like eating sugar or something like that so you can't just do it all day long it's not good for you well i think i think in life it's addictive keep keep your council small i feel like all the most a lot of success people that got a small group of people that they talk to you know what i mean it's but that i guess that could get slippery too because you don't want to get surrounded by yes man you don't want to be surrounded by yes men but you have to be first of all the type of person that can't be surrounded by yes man you you're going to understand yourself what's [ __ ] and what's real you have to be self-analytical you have to be self-critical you have to have a certain amount of introspective curiosity where you really want to know what the [ __ ] you're doing if you're doing things wrong you got to be able to apologize it's the other thing you can't be stuck in bad decisions that you've made you've got to be able to say that was a bad decision you know so the [ __ ] one of the biggest things that holds people up is the inability to admit they were wrong it [ __ ] people up man because they don't grow oh my god it's you hit that on the head because i the people i i got a person in my life that i've never once in my life seen them apologize for anything or i've never once seen them when they get told that they're wrong like what just accept it he goes i was in a store once and he was talking about hockey and he goes he goes oh yeah it was the fourth quarter of the hockey game and the guy was like oh hockey's only got three periods he was like no it doesn't it's got four quarters and you're like what of course any and he
wouldn't accept it and i was like man there's no way that like you said there's no way that guy grows i feel like one thing i want to make sure my kids always know how to do is say they're sorry and have the courage to admit hey i was completely wrong more than that this is what i tell my kids lying in itself robs you of the your ability to think about things and get better at things yeah if you choose to never lie then you then it's off the table now if you do choose to do that and you're dealing with any kind of situation right you can learn better right because you're not you're not lying to yourself right the people that lie suck they suck at whatever they do of course that guy i guarantee that guy never gets good at things no he stinks exactly everything he does you can't get good at stuff if you're full of [ __ ] yeah like it's like the painful truth of being incorrect is far superior than deluding yourself with some [ __ ] belief that you're never wrong right because that's what everybody wants being right is awesome even when we're joking around about stuff about the podcast and i go jamie look that up and he looks it up and turns out to be jim like aha yeah but when he looks it up and it turns out to be wrong like oh really i thought it was [ __ ] well that's not a good feeling so people avoid that feeling well and actually benjamin franklin said the reason why george washington was the man who he was and why he was able to get the country out of the message because he was not he would he would retreat he would realize i [ __ ] up i just put this soldiers in a bad position i'll look like a dick in the press let's retreat and we'll survive another day where at that point every other like british generals you know they would just march their soldiers the red coats in formation like idiots and they would just get shot and killed and it's like you because they they were like hey if we're in the wrong system then we're going to kill everybody and that's what it is when they would walk with the [ __ ] white stripe in the middle of their chest and they would walk forward in march in war and they would just get shot what about the guy on the drums i feel like i'd be that guy just get shot
in the head immediately because i'm on the drums it's amazing you need a drummer when you're gonna go to war that is the dumbest [ __ ] thing ever you're gonna announce that music gets you high pumps up though you have a musket good luck good luck you have [ __ ] weapons everyone's going to die you're going to get shot in the dick it's going to be horrible a lead ball is going to take half your [ __ ] face off yeah dude i just i mean i'm sure i know you read a lot and have a lot of like former soldiers on but you know as a guy who'd be just terrified to even go to warwick everybody's terrified to go to everybody that's the point yeah what i was saying earlier was what i meant by it when i talked about war that everybody's kind of capable of it if if we all agreed that there's a group that's killing us and they're coming to kill us and you had a gun and they were coming your way you'd shoot at them sure it's it's what everybody always does almost everybody yeah some people will freeze but the vast majority of people when they're confronted by some sort of a thing they switch and then that becomes life life becomes tribal warfare that's our default tribal our default from the beginning of human history has been you've got some [ __ ] that i want and i'm going to try to get it from you yeah it's not much so much racism it's more tribalism the tribes stick together more than the races you know but um you know i read something interesting the other day about world war ii about how a couple of battles in the beginning of the war hitler and their nazis were very adamant about we're at war you will not have prostitutes you will not eat bad you know you'll take a little ponder chocolate a little crystal meth and you will go out there and fight with the french we're like dude let's party we drink wine hookers everybody and they said dunkirk and all those battles the reason why they lost the reason why france got [ __ ] rolled over they say is because they all had stds that's a real theory that they all had chlamydia and [ __ ] were just fighting with infections where the nazis were just coming in there pounding just with
full consciousness full [ __ ] and map yeah that totally makes sense it's interesting though right how like little things in history like it's just like a very basic human thing that happened and then boom you history got changed well look at the [ __ ] disease that ravaged through uh north america when the europeans were robbed and all that i mean that's that's probably responsible for the end of the mayans the end of the aztecs all the native americans dying off that 90 of the native americans died from diseases from the europeans yeah yeah it's interesting i mean i mean even like back then like human sacrifice and all that like yeah i'm like were the mayans good people weren't the aztecs good people they were [ __ ] killing everybody and sacrificing the sun gods most likely i think it i think what happens is that civilizations get to like a really really really good place before they fall apart or if they fall apart and then i think somewhere around the time when they're falling apart people start doing wacky [ __ ] to try to get things back get their juju back right and so they start like killing slaves and you know sacrificing them to the sun god so that they no longer had diseases and someone else tells you the problem that we're having in this world is we're not sacrificing enough yeah so god doesn't think we love him yeah and some people believe it you could talk people into it 100 i wonder if we're going to be at that point now because a lot of people like oh it doesn't feel like the world's ending i'm like it doesn't to me it doesn't feel like we're there yet what do you think war is when we send people and you know they're going to die for an unjust cause because they're going to create wealth and they'll be going to control resources in a way they're sacrificing lives for a greater good what they think is a greater good for them sure which is like some sort of an economic gain or control of resources and oil or strategic move but they're sacrificing people right there's just doing it in this sort of i wasn't no was a war i wasn't there but you're sending people and you know some of them are going to die for a greater good yeah well that whole idea too of like war and you know and again i'm sure there's a million reasons why it doesn't but it
like it would seem like if i was in a human i was looking down it would seem like hey all you people don't have to die why don't you just get the one leader of that country who's mad at that country just have those two fight or have them both pick one guy to fight and the winner gets whatever can't have that because then you have the biggest strongest guy runs the whole world because he controls all the army you can't have that like you have to have people voting over stuff you can't you can't like the only reason why it works is because a group has a better what more ass kicking general but that's the thing even in any even the best presidents even the best uh leaders and prime ministers at the core of it you're an egomaniac lunatic if you even want to be in a position right to lead these people of course that's why i think the future you want to be a putin if even even even a good president if you want to be a nice guy if you want to be a jfk or an obama even it's like there's even i loved obama but there's no way that guy is in the [ __ ] egomaniac lunatic if you want to be president i think you can't be it without the other i don't i agree 100 and i also think you can't do it if you're around the type of people that are also doing it and not become a [ __ ] psycho psycho if you're around all these people that you know are engaging with in what is essentially insider trading yeah and they're all openly doing it and they're all responsible for the law and the responsible for the way this country runs at its core and they just [ __ ] rake it in cash from all this [ __ ] dirty [ __ ] that would get you arrested in other businesses yeah it almost feels like i know you need we need people to lead but it almost feels like in a way and maybe i heard this from somebody maybe it was graham hancock who said this that you almost we're almost like outgrowing government now where it's like you don't need it as much right anymore you can like because now it's becoming like we're starting to like revolt a little bit well imagine if there was no boundaries on what a person could and could not pursue in terms of their religious freedom what they want to do for a living what they want to do sexually if there was nothing that if
that was completely off the table that's an archaic thing in the past like burning witches at the stake yeah and then we realized there's a certain finite amount of resources on earth but when it's spread evenly there's really enough for everybody right so we're just going to make you know a certain amount of food available for everybody yeah housing available for everybody and we all work together to make sure that everybody lives at a certain level of life then the other things are just about how much effort you're willing to put in but it has to be if we know this at this level that the governments and powers that be know it they can't how are they going to communicate that idea to everybody and have everybody accept it they're not going to like we're stuck in this paradigm and still people until people work it out i don't think it's like it is i think it's a function as much of a group of people that have decided to hide the truth that we can all get along together as much as they're just trying to control what they have and they're dealing with other countries that are trying to control what they have and arguing over resources and territories and laws that get passed and and things along those lines that's why i think though i really believe in mikoto zone that aliens are going to be like not only are we going to find out that they're for real for real but they're coming because i think that's the only way we unite as a people is we gotta fight something else now i think who knows if we get demolished or not maybe maybe not but i do feel like we're getting set up i thought aliens were coming at the end of the pandemic i think we all did i think we're all like there's no like the nasa the research everything's coming out i feel like they're coming in the next 20 years and that's the only way we can get back to you know kind of coming together well aliens will cure racism i think that if if aliens do exist and they have gone through a similar evolutionary process as human beings have uh and one of one of the things that's interesting about that is there's a real good theory that psilocybin itself might
be extraterrestrial and that's wow spores we gotta do it spores can exist in a vacuum and they think that well they know that some uh i like we're talking about iridium how iridium exists in this when they go through the core sample of like 20 000 years and they get to that area where they think the impacts hit there's all this iridium so because they know that iridium comes from space and often exists in meteors that land on earth and and that's how you find it but other stuff gets there too and there's even this a theory of panspermia panspermia is a theory that the organic building blocks from life or for life like even amino acids they they could have come here from some other planet crash landed and the chemical process begins it creates life now if that's the case if they think that psilocybin can exist in spores like fungus spores can exist in a vacuum they could conceivably be on a rock that lands on earth and a meteor impact and spread that way right yeah because it seems to me that's i could understand that being um kind of a hypothesis that could be true because it again i know you've done it before but it seems when i the research i did with the the psilocybins people kind of say i keep hearing the similar thing that in different ways with with mushrooms or ayahuasca they a lot of people say that they calm down a lot some of them at least say it alleviates anxiety for a lot of people because they say that they know that death isn't the end it's just another part of their existence and that they a lot i've heard a lot of people say in the research they say the same thing that they believe we're all god god is in everything so that it's not even a spiritual thing it's like a creator thing where it's like maybe that is the thing that you know maybe we were created by somebody isn't it interesting that something that um alleviates ego's control alleviates you from ego's control because one of the things that it does is it diminishes the ego when you take psilocybin but also diminishes anxiety remember we were talking earlier that it might be a narcissistic thing and you're saying that it might be a
narcissistic thing to be so anxious if if that kind of it kind of seems like that may be a possibility for some people obviously for some people and this should i should be clear on this we were talking about it earlier some people have anxiety because they're they're mentally imbalanced yeah something's wrong it's chemical there's some chemicals that are off in the brain but the the idea that something can come along that can alleviate your anxiety but also diminishes the ego is really interesting because like how much of this mental energy that people put into thinking about themselves would be alleviated if they realized they were part of something that's immense and huge that all of all of life itself is experiencing it through these different biological filters but that were ultimately like really the same thing right our cores and that's one of the reasons why we freak out so much or let me tell you like i do i freak out so much at people's flaws i mean flaws like as in like people that lie or people that steal or people that uh you like try to harm people because i'm terrified in seeing those things of myself you know you worry like oh i could imagine if i grew up in the foster care system and i was in and out of jail and getting beat up all the time that i would become this criminal that i'm looking at right here right that could be you and you know it could be right because you're just a lucky human being that didn't have to live like that because we're essentially what the energy is of what a human is outside of language outside of your you know your [ __ ] childhood and your life experiences the energy of a human is probably really similar in all of us and it's just going through these different biological filters different life circumstances but if you lived my life you would be me and if i lived your life i would be you and that's probably the reality of people that you feel when you're on mushrooms and so all the thinking about yourself seems less it just seems to make less sense yeah because you're never really mad at anyone you're always usually just mad at yourself right like a lot of
if times people are doing you bad no i know but don't you think at the core of it it could be that you're just mad at yourself like if somebody if somebody at the end of the day i i think like even if i got into a car accident it was 1 000 i think not my fault in a way i think deep deep deep deep deep in my brain i'm like no it was my fault how because maybe i could have been more aware maybe i could have stopped sooner maybe i was man texting two drugs get killed in drive-bys okay the idea that everybody creates their own destiny with their imagination is kind of silly but people do think like that that it's your fault i've heard people say it there was a [ __ ] documentary i don't even remember the which one it was but one of those wacky metaphysical documentaries that was trying to say that everything in your life including all the diseases that people have everything is created by your own mind like that is so crazy and so dumb do you think that like someone who is born with like a male-shaped limbs was that their personal choice no like that is so [ __ ] dumb with what we know about biology that's so [ __ ] dumb that people would think that way there's a lot of random luck involved in [ __ ] so i was gonna say you think it's more luck it's more of random luck is you think that's the energy but there's that too look there's no doubt about it okay if a [ __ ] baby gets hit with a straight bullet the baby did not will that straight bull didn't do it's [ __ ] i agree with you there right it's not the baby's choices that it got shot in the crib yeah there's there's randomness to life it just doesn't experience you don't experience it every day so you assume because you're aware of the patterns you do experience every day like driving to work i see a certain amount of things i'm around a certain amount of things all that [ __ ] ends if an asteroid hits boom back to cave people instantaneously cannibalism instantaneously scratching and clawing to survive instantaneously right that that's a reality that can happen and that's what we don't think of because it hasn't but we know it has that's what's so [ __ ] we know it did kill the dinosaurs we're pretty sure
this younger driest impact theory is it's got a lot of validity to it seems like it has a lot of evidence it points to it being one of the possibilities to kill off a giant percentage of [ __ ] animals on this planet and probably reset civilization yeah we definitely are living extremely comfortable um at this point in time but my thing is when people say that it's like but what am i supposed to do like you need to believe that i lived in the 1850s like i don't want to [ __ ] in a hole a mile outside my house no you don't have to do that it's just the understanding that this is all unknown you can't think that it's your fault if we get hit with a [ __ ] asteroid because it's not there's a lot of randomness to this [ __ ] sure there's a lot yeah well i think i think just you know not resisting is is a big thing just accepting anything and and limiting the resistance i heard that i think i follow that guy saad guru he's always talking about that just stop resisting accept everything there's something to that for sure but you know what else there's something to knowing that you're not going to figure this out just living your life and trying to do the best you can but knowing that you're not going to figure this out because no one has all the goddamn answers to this no and the people that come up with pretty good ideas like saad guru like maybe some of the things that he says are wacky you know and then there's another guy that has some other interesting ideas but maybe uh he sucks as a boss you know there's another guy that says cool [ __ ] but uh you know maybe uh he lies about his last name like there's a lot of [ __ ] weirdness to being a person well i was going to say and that and that i think is the slippery slope we're down now or at least were down a little bit a year or two ago when trying to you know go back in history and remove certain figures it's like wait a second bad people do good things good people do bad things that's just the scope of being a human being right but the problem is you idolize someone if you put up a big statue of them if we put up a big statue of hitler and say hey he made some really good watercolors yeah like he was a vegetarian right get the [ __ ] out of here
so when you have a statue of george washington and then you hear about the good stuff that george washington did like what you were saying is his humility to pull out in this in his smart but then you find out that his teeth were all slave teeth that he had pulled from his slaves and made into dentures yeah like yo that's not good that's not good but i but i you know what's interesting too is because a lot of people like well you know they didn't know any better with that and then bro bro but when you read the accounts like have you ever did you ever read this 1776 book no it was fascinating because what i like is an author and what i've always from an early age always been like i'm learning history here in history class in my high school or grammar school in america from the point of view of an american i want to learn from his america's enemies what happened and then i can kind of piece together in my own because history is isn't even fact it's all recounting tales and it's all telling a story but when the british got to colonial america they were on the floor astounded that there were slaves that was the thing that was disgusting them like british soldiers they have letter a letter of a british soldier running back to his wife he's like i he was terrified of two things he goes what massachusetts the pure the most puritan puritanical place we had that was supposed to be the best people living in our country and in that time all had slaves and he's like i i can't even sleep at night these people are enslaving other human beings because slavery was outlawed a hundred years in england wow and then he said you know another thing and it's kind of crazy and i this hit me with german because you know the british hired you know mercenary hessian mercenaries german mercenaries he said they ran on to shore ran off the [ __ ] boats and started killing american soldiers and cutting their faces off and taking things as they were brutal he said brutal vicious and it's like not all germany but then it's like that country's history it's like you know all the way up to nazis and you're like oh maybe there is something in dna where like tribes act like tribes because even back then in
the book they're like hessians were [ __ ] wild jesus christ i didn't know that story yeah but that yeah and then but it was interesting because you know this soldier was saying like so what that argument of oh they didn't know any better it's like i think they did i think back then it was just a business choice that was like all this stuff was just business just like today we make business choices i mean they say again i don't know but they say that the most slaves that ever existed are right now in like saudi arabia that's what they say i believe there's more people enslaved today than during the time in when slavery was legal in america but there's way more people on the planet so it's like what is i don't know if the percentage is down but the number is up but it's crazy how like slavery like it still even exists today in any shape open slave auctions in libya do you see those on on the on youtube that i haven't seen no it's nuts well olivia is a failed state right so when when libya fell apart there was [ __ ] open slave auctions on youtube you know it's really quick because someone's filming it with their cell phone what's really [ __ ] crazy dude if you think about like how horrific the people were that lived in the 1700s then think columbus was as many years ago from that as we are from the people in the 1700s that's what's [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] crazy columbus in the 1400s when they landed in the bahamas or wherever they landed you know that they were 300 years more barbaric than the people in the 1700s well dude and then things lose their meaning like you know like i i learned i went to charleston you know like you know like one of the greatest comedy movies of you know whatever the 2000s i would argue was knocked up that was like a great movie oh knocked up john apatow is knocked up and then i went to charleston and i went to the visit to slave market there and that you know where term knocked up comes from no when a slave a female slave was pregnant with a child her price was knocked up so they would say she's knocked up and that's what oh i'm pregnant i'm not now it's like huh it's silly look at this kid's movie knocked up and it's like just 200 years ago you said that to someone it was like
no that's the most devastating thing i've heard so thing we get desensitized very very quickly holy [ __ ] our brains adapt i think what do they say every 21 days they you know like you can just get over something and forget that that happened and that was bad and you know i mean look you know just that that knocked up fact is crazy how wild is that that's why when i i saw like a lot of things getting canceled i was like i bet you one is i bet you're knocked up it's gonna have to change your name not well it is now they're gonna hear it now after this now most people do i don't i didn't know that i'm never going to get into you know that jamie no that's crazy i hope i didn't make that well he probably didn't know it either well no i'm sure he will find out i'm sure tammy's uh googling it right now yeah that sounds different like it makes sense it says i'm trying to read it real quick it says something different did i [ __ ] it up second meaning uh let's see there's a course the slit awakens someone by knocking the second meeting isn't while he's in america still common britain at this slave market for sure on this tour they said that was where it came up from came the meaning when a woman gets pregnant she's knocked up maybe it was uh maybe it was a common expression before that and then they added it to this a woman being pregnant with slavery because it indicated the same thing that the price was knocked up right like so maybe knocked up like uh how much horseshoes oh they've been knocked up like maybe it was normal right to say knocked up and then it became knocked up with that right on top of it or like even even just um just uh uh two years ago one of a woman who i know one of my mother's friends was working at a hospital for 30 years an employee came in like a new younger girl my mom's friend is white this girl happened to be black and my my that she goes um the woman who's been again working there 30 years the girl asked a question and it was like she was like oh don't worry about it we're going to educate you she goes you're going to
don't worry we're going to whip you into shape and you're going to be great oh jesus fired and i was like even whipping can't say that the oxford english dictionary traces the expression back as far as 1813 and says it's of america's orig an american origin oh there you go an oed citation from 1836 refers to slave women who are knocked down by the auctioneer and knocked up by the purchaser huh this for sure this tour guide said it's because their price was knocked up so maybe knocked down by the auctioneer what does that mean knocked up by the purchaser though is the auctioneer the guy who does that hey is that the person who yeah that's the auctioneer right that's not yeah so the other person would just be what in the audience who's they're buying it purchaser so it's knocked up by the purchaser that's what it said yeah okay that makes sense right so the auctioneer is the guy who's like do i have 17 do i have 17. he says i'll give you 20. yeah so that's knocked up knocked up interesting well it's still attached to slavery somehow yeah maybe i added the second part in to make it makes sense though it does make sense but then it doesn't make sense because then she wouldn't be able to work and she would have to take care of the kid well no you're getting two humans though right but but you won't for a long time true right listen i don't make i don't make the rules well one of the things native americans would do unfortunately when they kidnap people is uh they would uh accept children because those children could be integrated into society right but they would kill babies because they didn't want to have to take care of the baby so the comanches when they um they there's this incredible book called empire the summer moon that details this woman um i forget her name her last name is parker and she got kidnapped when she was nine years old by the comanches and they killed her mom they killed everybody else okay they they took her because she was she wasn't an adult they killed the adults or
you know on rare cases they would accept them and like take a woman as a wife or something like that but right most adult males were just killed right and then they also killed babies but they would let children join the tribe because they had a hard time um with women uh keeping babies because uh all the riding on horses yeah they'd have a lot of miscarriages so they were just so they needed to keep their numbers high so they would incorporate kids that they had kidnapped i guess that makes sense i mean i mean i guess you know too like in nature like that's the thing is like you know i guess because we have conscious thought and all that you know humans get a bad rap but like i saw a video once of this zebra that was giving birth and i guess the father that impregnated that zebra must have been killed in the course of the baby giving birth and then the new male zebra came in and as the baby's being born the new male zebra is stomping its head to death because it's like that ain't mine i have a friend out of here who has that happen on his property out here oh wow he's got a zebra in texas and he's like i got a zebra that's a [ __ ] and he kills the other zebras keeps killing the other zebras and he's like a non-viable older male he has to kill the zebra because the zebra is killing the other zebras yeah that's another thing thank god we're not british but then we'd have to say zebra zebra i don't want to say zebra they say zed too with z shut off they don't say a to z they say a to z a to z like a corvette zr1 is a zr1 is that our what you don't r1 you know what's another thing i read which i thought was funny is that they some linguistic expert thinks that most likely the closest that like uh colonial americans sounded like was british uh it was uh boston bostonians like the bostonian accent right now is is the closest so just think about like founding father just [ __ ] feeling like cocksacker well that makes sense because it's a terrible accent it sounds awful coming out of women yeah are you gonna [ __ ] marry me or what chris the stefano don't think you're hot [ __ ] so even you being from you're from
massachusetts right yeah even you don't like that accent that's gross it's fun to go back and drink there though like it's fun when you hear it rather if you're like hanging out with a bunch of drunk guys and they're talking in a boston accent yeah but i think um there's other accidents that are prettier like for a girl right if you hear a girl's accent a girl from the south oh my god that's the best accent honestly i'll kiss anybody on the lips with a southern accent male female trans i don't animal i don't care there's something about 18. lovely it's lovely and there's something about it coming out of a girl's mouth like why is that so hot my friend born and raised in new york would just could nail it he was like as good as accents as like a dance odor he would weekly we would watch him do this he would go out and become a british man for the entire night and make believe he was british and hook up with girls all day every day with the british accent yeah the british accent and it's like cru you know and i feel like if he did that now though like there would be like misrepresentation you can't do that actually illegal yeah yeah you get sued maybe even jailed but if you you think about those [ __ ] guys that are selling us stuff on late night tv they all had british accents yeah mops and [ __ ] tell you weird mops well i i used to be um the job like my high school job with the guy like you know you know when you tenant i worked at the us open the 10 usta tennis center and so like it's funny like roland garros or wimbledon or the australian open they all pick the elite members of society's children these are prestigious jobs where like usta just picks like dirtbags from queens and brooklyn like it was just us you know no experience we never know tennis we're like 15 love what the [ __ ] are you talking about like we have no idea but it was a cool job like we you know worked the grounds crew we i used to stack the towels in the men's locker room dude i saw like i've seen everybody's dick roger federer erotic everyone just walks around with a piece one of my friends he was stacking the ice on it's called p137 practice course one through seven and he started like flirting with i think it was serena williams she was 16 at the time he was
like 17. and they he says he made out with her like behind like a dumpster or something like that during practice i'm like that i don't know we've never verified it but he's a good-looking kid i was like yo it was we used to see crazy [ __ ] but one time i was sitting watching a match and this umpire you know up in his chair like you know 15 love 30 love like that like prim proper gets down right off the as soon as the match is over and it's talking to his wife like he's like hey do you you know there's a gas in the car like he he had he had a full new york house he was like what's up you you good what do you need you need sauce and i was like yo and i saw it with my own i saw it with my own eyes then wow dude the usta was so funny one time i saw this was a you went this was a u.s open sanctioned match okay it was on one of the side courts so it wasn't on television this guy from belgium i forgot what his name was but i was the court attender on the court he was getting [ __ ] smacked like he was losing everything six love six eleven then you know he was down whatever five love like he didn't score any points like nothing he calls a timeout in the middle of a u.s open sanctuary match starts smoking a cigarette he starts smoking a full cigarette just sitting there laughing turning around the crowd's laughing like you know nobody had video cameras on their cell phones yet just smoking a cigarette because he knows he's getting [ __ ] smacked the guy they you know carry on the guy serves it he doesn't even he like fake whiffs at it and just walks off because the mattress over and just walked off with cigarette smoke i was like yo that guy is cool as [ __ ] i was like whoa yeah something about accents right yeah there's something about it it is weird how some of them are better than others they're just better but people get stuck it's like who is the guy who originated the accent like who deviated from new england and developed brooklyn who deviated from brooklyn and made baltimore right deviated from baltimore and made you know the south north carolina south carolina how did it where somebody that knows what was that i mean i wonder i mean if i was going to talk
to noam chomsky i don't know if that's what i talked to him about but if i was going to talk to someone who's like a legitimate linguist i would say like what are the contributing factors that leads to a certain sound that that sort of encapsulates the way people talk in a specific region because california doesn't have anything california if anything has like a little bit of this there's an uptake but that's like more tech than it is california there's a way that people talk there was like there was a time where i think more people have become so aware that it's so gross and fake that they don't do it as much anymore but up talk was a way that you could pretend that you were intelligent right and you were part of this tribe yeah really intelligent creative people you know like you don't hear people talking like this no it's annoying and then you know saying they're trump supporters right you know what i mean like it's like that's a very progressive sort of tech savvy up talk it's interesting with language because you would think many things and you know it took millions of years to evolve from not having a tail or getting to these certain but language changes quickly yeah i mean even now i mean the way we talked in 1940 is different than the way we talk nowadays say fella yeah i have to suck you yeah we had a gay old time yeah exactly all that stuff was like you ever listened to like see like people talk from like the 1800s like an interview from like 18 put a video up on my instagram oh did you did you ever see it no it's from a woman who was born i think she was born in the early 1800s okay and then the video of her was from the early 1900s so she was like 80 something years old see if you can find it jamie it's um a black and white video of this lady and it's really interesting because she kind of sounds like would you expect a woman who lived in the old west to talk like yeah like it's hard to say how much they got it right with like fiction you know when you're reading fiction and even when they're historical accounts like how accurate were they i mean how much did they [ __ ] because like how much today did they [ __ ] about stuff look the [ __ ] president of the united the white house i should say the white
house put a tweet out that talked about how when joe biden got into office there was no vaccine well that's not [ __ ] true that's not true not only was it not true but he was vaccinated yeah yeah he got it he got vaccinated before he got into office and millions of people have been vaccinated of course so this lady listen to this i'm trying to get on my feet again feel pretty good thankful it's as well as it is oh boys i'm pleased to see you i don't know where you come from but i give you all the welcome i've got to offer you and i want to tell you that i'm living on the same ground that i've lived on for 75 long years and i come here as 18 year old bride i went to washington 50 years a little more ago i saw all the people around there and been with the presidents and uh i learned a great many things up there that i didn't know before i'll add a little more to it i was one of the board of lady managers for the chicago exposition and i served my full time in in chicago and learned a great things over there i have been to i was a delegate to the tennessee centennial exposition i was a delegate to saint louis a juror at st louis i think for a north georgia cracker my size and age i've had to put a good education on that life then do all right i was a three-year-old girl when the indians were moved from this country to indian territory i have an indistinct recollection of seeing the red men as they went through the woods for everything was woods nearly at that time i have a distinct impression if a three-year-old child can have it nevertheless i've been here since that time and i've seen the march of progress all the way at my at that time there were we had only stage coaches and we only had horses and buggies and we had lots of foot back travelers usually now i've seen it come along all
this way and the airplane goes over this oh my house going on its way and it's got to be such a common thing don't girl don't go even out to see if she can look at and then while oh my god and then while so it says she was born she was born in 1835 she was interviewed on camera in 1929. this lady was 15 16 years old when the civil war started like she remember that woman has memories actual real memories of it yeah that's wow she's almost 100 years old you know what's something i saw the other day do you know that the last person whose father fought in the civil war only died like three years ago there was a guy who was alive who he the guy who just died lived to he was like a hundred his father fought in the civil war when his father was like 15 and had him when he was 84 something like that oh my god and the guy so there was a guy living three years ago whose father biological father fought in the civil war holy [ __ ] i was like that's sick the woman who died in 2020 was the last recipient of the civil war pension wow holy [ __ ] oh my god holy [ __ ] dude that's i mean it's why because while when you think about like all this stuff that we think is so long ago it's not really that long ago well i had a bit in my act uh one of my specials my last special where i talked about people think the united states is old i go but the united states was formed in 1776 people lived to be a hundred so that's three people ago yeah that's real that's three people ago ten people ago genghis khan was running through china and the lighting cities on fire 10 people ago yeah less really if you i don't know if anyone's ever asked you this probably they have i'm a hack do you do you bad wolf do you if you could have any person in history on the pod who would it be would it be somebody like a a con i don't know man if it was only one person i'd be like i don't even know if i want to make that decision because who the [ __ ] i mean who would i choose i feel like there's
so many interesting jesus you wouldn't have jesus well what if you found out that jesus wasn't even real i said i'll have jesus in the podcast and then you got him there it is well do you ever read like the accounts of jesus where they there was like 20 other people in that 30-year span claiming they were jesus like he was just one of many people at that time they think like you know christianity or the bible just picked one it's possible you know i mean there's a there's a lot of speculation about how many different versions that exist like even thor right isn't thor like the son of odin yeah isn't there like some similarities in the story of thor to the story of jesus the problem is like these stories were all told in in oral tradition for like a thousand years before they've been written down the gospels i think the earliest gospel i'm i'm guessing was like matthew it was written like 50 years after jesus lived like matthew mark luke and john they never lived with jesus well this is the new testament right and then you got to go with the old testament where you're really into these stories that were an oral tradition the new testament is weird because like constantine a bunch of bishops decided the council of nicaea they just made it they were like hey we're gonna pick this pick then this is what i think god said i think god said that brother let's get rid of that my mother's like you'll go to hell if you eat fish on good fri if you eat meat on good friday i'm like but the pope who decided that just ran a fish business that's the truth he just ran away really true he owned like a bunch of fish markets he was like oh yeah no me fridays because he makes more [ __ ] money that's really what it was yes no yeah well jamie ramsey just went to pee yeah but jamie comes back that's literally that's the story i heard [ __ ] insane how insane is that is when you look back you're like oh my god but it makes sense you know and the other thing about like priest being celibate like why they sell it because they were rock stars they were [ __ ] everybody everything they were probably [ __ ] everybody and everything you say god told you to suck my dick
they couldn't read the bible no most people were like illiterate and in when like reading latin like who the [ __ ] knows how to read latin who the [ __ ] knows what what that's saying so when martin luther came along and they gave like a phonetic version of the bible that you could read and then told you to interpret it yourself like figure out what god said yourself that it created a giant uproar they almost killed him for it right yeah no i know well even like the old testament like you know if you would have told me two years ago oh you know noah's ark is it real i'd be like no way but now i'm like when you when you listen to these you know people talk about well there was a mass flooding and the ice polar capsule it's like it didn't happen like that that's a story but there probably were a lot of people just on [ __ ] boats where their land got flooded 100 it's just real i think 100 i think there's probably a lot of civilizations that went under because of natural disasters and if you're in a the theory is that if you're in a regional area that experiences like a volcanic eruption and a kill like pompeii or something like but even before that like even further back 1000 years before pompeii you don't no one has any i fight [ __ ] idea what happened everybody's dead everybody's dead and you have stories that get passed on no one's writing anything down yeah i saw i think it was the instagram it might have been history before us i'm not sure what instagram account it was i but it was one of these history instagram accounts i follow and they had like um like a piece of uh i i don't know what it's not paper whatever the material was it was like in the oh oh wait a minute stop you gotta get jamie to google that before we go what we're talking about the oh oh no with uh fish you know you can't eat you can't eat meat on good friday on fridays during lunch or good friday and i think that story came about because when the the pope who was in charge whoever decided that 100 you know 500 years ago owned a fish market and that's why i did it was a business decision so i don't know how to google that because i don't know the names that's a lot of action but i bet that'll
come up it totally makes sense yeah and as it makes sense with the celibacy thing of course they had to be celibate yeah yeah and it's it's it's very unnatural it's like why would you choose the hardest thing to abstain from sex it's like yeah of course you're going to go [ __ ] outside of it or the [ __ ] kid thing i don't know well this is horrific but yeah how how come this one group catholics are the ones that have to abstain but the baptists are allowed to have sex it's ridiculous it doesn't make any sense there's something in history though that talks i'm sure that there's some reason why they did that yeah yeah when maybe the guy in charge at that point didn't he wanted to get on keep all the [ __ ] for himself maybe the king his wife got [ __ ] by one of the priests 100 acute okay no more sex i just talked to god a thousand percent new rules but i was saying that the the the egyptian uh thing i saw people i was trying to read through this a lot to read see there's something to it the fishy tale behind eating fish on on friday so the the title is uh lust lies and empire the fishy tale behind eating fish on friday and so it says here it's a long long but it was a powerful medieval pokemon something happened in the 1500s and it says say at some point here it was a political thing to be eating fish oh it was king henry the eight times nice that'd be a guideline something then got reinstated in 1966. he'd be the guy just would you want to interact with him or would you want to just be around and watch as like a silent invisible observer that's what i would want see a lot of people want to go for fat [ __ ] king henry viii i'd like to see jacked and shaped king henry viii i want to see that guy well he's probably a [ __ ] but imagine how cruel those people were like how many people they killed it just like they didn't like the way they looked at them yeah it was like ant to them just kill them all and then it's crazy he's killing all these women and he's the one that's determining the sex well what's crazy also is that when you're talking about people that live back then they're essentially serial killers but their serial killers are at the throne yes so
it's wild so yeah like what you're talking about richard ramirez or henry lee lucas or [ __ ] any of these serial killers that we know of that's what the [ __ ] king was yeah king was a goddamn thrill killer yeah that's all he did they went that was the son of sam just with a crown on with a crown on imagine the son of sam being the king of england he probably thinks he's the king of england in jail those oh dude we gotta end this it's almost five o'clock what how many how long did we make more than three hours did we make it more than three hours that's all that yeah my comic buddy said that's how you know as a comic if you had a good episode if you have to make three hours if not that was great it was great good all right so we made it three hours i didn't fail mom i'm sure we pissed a lot of people off with the anxiety talk and oh yeah but well hey i'm not on twitter so well i am but i just hide from them yeah i just want to be clear that i'm not trying to diminish people's uh mental health i just always wonder like what's the cause of it and i wonder how much of it is biological and how much of it is just patterns of behavior because i think there's two fact there's obviously there's a lot of factors but those two ones are big ones yeah you know like how much of it is just something you're born with and how much of it is um what you've experienced well it's crazy though you even have to we both even have to say that now it's like that's what stifles creativity learning the most it doesn't necessarily stifle it just you have to be clear right you know you just have to be clear and we're cl we're it's so far apart we're just trying to learn yeah that's the thing it's like people are also looking for things to talk about and when you talk about it just like if someone on the view says something stupid i'm going to talk about it the amber heard trial yeah the amber heard johnny depp trial i mean it's so stupid i'm talking about all the time oh we should probably leave on this did you see that she got busted talking about having a uh bruise kit did you see that never heard yeah if she was puerto rican i would be all into that she had a tattoo on her teeth i like
crazy girls yeah [ __ ] [ __ ] in the bed is crazy though that's next level crazy that's pretty wild it's all pretty wild um god damn it who did i send it to i have to find who i sent it to oh i know who i sent it to um it's just it's so nutty that that this is uh being aired out in front of everybody is it before is it a video there's some video going around that's not i just looked it up apparently it's been edited well when she says she found she had a bruise kit that's not that's edited all i'm saying what's a bruised fact check going around on newsweek she leave a brief kit and a photo no no no it's not oh i'm sad i know she's but she says i'm asking okay okay i'm not sure either but she said bruce kitt that's why um heard's quote bruce kick comment sparked controver conversation among tick tock users a number of whom asserted that bruce kitts are usually used to apply the appearance of bruises right rather than cover them up um but she corrects herself weird here what was edited as the seconds long video comes to its conclusion it was further edited to add heard referring to her makeup palette as a bruise kit before correcting herself wow footage later cut to break down of what is believed to have been the palette that's why i just make i yeah don't know if this is what we're seeing or that's one is that the same one i sent you i didn't check that you sent me something yet i think that's the same one i sent you and they're making just like what a bruise kit is apparently a thing that they use in makeup to make it look like you've been bruised why would either one of them that's do this though why even go through this public trial well he's doing it because she wrote an op-ed which turns out she didn't even write the op-ed someone from the aclu says they ghost wrote the op-ed and the op-ed was about her being a domestic abuse survivor and so that made johnny depp unemployable because it made it look like johnny depp was beating people up and that's how he got fired from the pirates of the caribbean that and also the fact that he lost another lawsuit
this is even making him even if he comes out on top it's making him more unemployable because wouldn't you be like i don't even want to deal with this guy i don't think so i think um if anything it shows that there are manipulative people of both sexes and that a person who's a good guy who happens to have a penis uh could get railroads that's true by a woman who's just completely full of [ __ ] and one of the things you see in cross-examination and just these stories they don't make sense like she's talking like a crazy person and the vast majority of people that are watching do not believe her yeah they do not believe you so that's good for johnny that's good because all these years she's been this beautiful girl that says that johnny who does a lot of coke and likes to drink was beating her up like well that's what people do a lot of coke and drink do yeah but it turns out then there's recordings of her talking and admitting to beating him up yeah yeah that's not the tip of his finger off and then you know there's a lot there's a lot imagine johnny depp has to start a patreon he's fine that's not the problem the problem he's trying to clear his name yeah he's trying to do it and make a point and it's crazy that he has to do this i know it's crazy that he's willing to do this too i agree with you yeah it's like it's nuts we've never seen it before but do you know anybody that's ever been railroaded like this before this bad a railroad where someone pretends that they were the victim and they were really the abuser what happened was i don't know about that specific thing but my boys i wasn't there my boys went on a bachelorette bachelor party to nashville and one of my friends hooked up with a girl just rant you know bachelor bachelorette random in nashville right next morning doesn't you know barely knows her even you know but all consensual all good not even that drunk like they just hooked up everybody saw them the bachelorette party saw this girl kindling with him and blah blah next morning wakes up cops from the police department bringing him in for rape and he was like what what and they were like
accusations this that he goes has to hire you know gets out has to hire an attorney before the court before it even gets to the trial like this man like his whole like you have to understand how much this consumed because he did not do this we all know he didn't do it even her own friends when he didn't do it this missing link was she was engaged and the guy found out that she [ __ ] somebody the night before because she drunk texted or something whatever the story was and then went right to that and then so i'm not saying that you know what that's just one specific story but i saw he was like dude i'm gonna like he almost like he was i want to say close because someone says they kill themselves i don't i don't know when they actually do but he was like in the group text being like i can't handle this like i did not do this and then out of nowhere her lawyers called his lawyers and was like she's called she's calling it off like we're calling it off and uh just it's over like like that and i was like wow like out of [ __ ] nowhere that happened now that's a random crazy [ __ ] person and so there's no repercussions either which is really wild so someone can make a false accusation that completely turns your life upside down and ruins you and also has you labeled like the people that knew the accusation maybe don't want to hire you because what if it's true and what if the woman was intimidated or paid off yeah dude i [ __ ] bombed a corporate gig three nights ago because in the front row there was a uh uh it was mostly white rich people and there was a uh like a like a uh i think he was a gay guy black gay guy in the front row and he kept cutting me off he was like you racist [ __ ] he just kept calling me racist and i was like what are you talking about i'm not i was like i'm not racist i tried to do bits i was like i know i got a cop head and whatever but i'm a good guy and i kept trying to say it was like i have a bit about having a puerto rican kid i was like i got a puerto rican katie was like just because you talk about dating puerto ricans doesn't mean you're not a
white [ __ ] you all kill you kill my people that's what he kept saying and nobody knows what to do i don't know what the corporate this is a corporate gig in a front [ __ ] row so i am bombing like you can't believe and then i finally said i said dude the only way in 2022 i can get out of this being a white man and you being a black man is if i get on my knees and start sucking your [ __ ] which i'm willing to do and i thought that would get a laugh that [ __ ] bombs so so i so i i finally oh my god i wish i was there yeah so i finally say to the guy who's running the event in the middle of the show i said hey mike i said uh did the money did you guys wire the money already to the agency or like am i getting checked out of the show he goes no we wired it already put the mic in the center said have a good night folks that's very nice of you now what did it start off good was it ever good um [Applause] no i started off sucky it started off it no no i wouldn't say it sort of you know as you know corporate gigs are hard gigs but isn't it amazing that someone could be confident enough that they could do that and interrupt a show yeah and yell [ __ ] like that out at you and know they're not gonna get fired for that zero well that's what i fear well even i even said to him i said i said i said anything i said just go it kept getting worse and worse and i said to the guy who was hacking i said because there was a head guy a boss and i was like do you work for for this for this man he goes why can't i be a partner why do i have to be as an employee because i'm black i was like literally no i was like i'm genuinely just trying to get out of this [ __ ] alive you know like i was like but it was like one of those and it just kept getting worse and worse and worse and nobody was laughing especially the rich white millionaires were like we can't even touch this can't touch it they can't howl at that and i was like [ __ ] and [ __ ] and dude it was one of those things where i just left and i was like what am i doing the what one corporate gig i did i i did a corporate
gig for steve cohen the owner of the mets who's actually a [ __ ] great guy and it was like his 60th birthday party or something like that and he like his wife did it like as a surprise and it's like some 60 year old billionaire doesn't want to see me doing comedy they either want to see seinfeld or strippers like they don't know who i am i have a podcast you know and they and and uh and i'm doing the show [ __ ] bombing tommy tommy matolo was there you know and i'm bombing and then oh dude first of all somebody threw a crab cake at me hit me right off the chest in the middle of the show i was like this i was standing at the edge of a table there's eight guys at a table just at a table no microphone pure daylight in the middle of the pandemic nobody said anything the guy this guy was like introducing me he was like yeah who threw a crab cake at you some [ __ ] guy i don't know and then it started laughing and then and then tommy mattel i got i said oh tommy vitola i said uh i said um you know i was a big fan of your ex-wife uh mariah carey um i said i had a lot of posters up in my locker fairy goes i bet you have a lot of [ __ ] pictures of cock-up too and i was like yes and then you know that got like a big laugh and then finally i'm like maybe 10 minutes into what was supposed to be a 30-minute set and steve stops me he goes how about this he goes what did my wife tell you to do i said 30 minutes he goes i'll give you twice the money right now to do five more minutes just do five minutes but give me your five best minutes and i will double your money right now and then i just [ __ ] stuck in and i just i did that letterman set i made believe i was in that big [ __ ] suit john travolta was there i had his hand on my chest and i just did that set and he doubled the money really yeah right then and there just and then you got off stage then i got off stage and then he became kind of like his son was there who's like listen to the podcast or whatever he's a great guy shout out josh they had me go to mets game they i still go i'm like friends with them now which is they're amazing people it's a rain delay in the first game
after the first time i saw steve cohen again since i bombed it's a rain delay steve goes uh why don't you get up on the mic and start doing comedy for citi field who's sitting there in a rain delay angry mets fans that were losing here just got knocked out of the playoffs they give me a microphone in the [ __ ] booth like the uh newscasters booth and i'm doing now he goes just start doing comedy like make the people laugh and i'm i'm now i'm bombing but at least that one i couldn't hear because i'm just in a newscaster's booth just eating [ __ ] so you can't even hear the laughs well no or lack of nothing but my friends thank god i have great friends like this my friends who are dying mess fans at every mets games were recording me bombing on the outside and they graciously gave me that chris is stefano you're a funny [ __ ] thank you for a lot of fun i had a good time it was a lot of fun i appreciate it brother uh tell everybody where your podcast is uh social media all that stuff so chrisdcomedy.com for everything i got the chrissy chaos podcast on tuesdays hey babe with my great friend salva conor every thursday and then uh patreon.com says christy comey where i feel my best content is and i'll be in a providence in july and uh la brea improv at the end of august and i got a bunch of dates coming up for the fall and especially where she is available on netflix on netflix sell for 15 minutes of it on youtube we'll be on youtube and then another 10 minutes is going to come at patreon.com christy comedy next month i didn't give netflix everything baby i'm trying to do this [ __ ] the new way bits and pieces beautiful all right that was a lot of fun thank you thank you bye everybody [Music]