Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZsdLNRJf6U
[Music] and we're rolling gregory rolling rolling rolling we were just talking about how they kicked mike jamie was telling us how they kicked michael jordan off a course because he was wearing cargo shorts while he's playing golf yeah silly rules i mean that's crazy do you wouldn't you be happy michael jordan's on your [ __ ] golf course i mean i don't know if he's not paying extra to be there you know it doesn't matter it's my people tennis safety for sure people show up if they find out he's there yeah we don't want him to i mean it's like you don't want him to come ruin it i mean i don't mean that i mean like more people will go to that course yeah maybe like people be excited yeah the greatest basketball player of all time plays golf on your golf course oh yeah yeah for sure if it was his if he was gonna be regular that would suck was he just dropping in i think it was one of those kind of places you know he's probably playing with somebody at a really prestigious course and they're like get out of here yeah why like you got cargo shorts on you were telling me the rules you gotta you gotta uh you can't wear shorts the good course is you can't wear shorts ever 110 degrees outside and the caddies the poor caddies are out there slugging these you know two i used to caddy growing up that was my first job as a caddie and i weighed like maybe a hundred pounds and they would send me out there with these remember rodney dangerfield put the tap in it and these guys would have like 17 clubs they'd have like 20 extra balls in the bag they'd have an umbrella a raincoat [ __ ] ball retriever and and i'd be out there and and i i cut it on a really hilly course in new york and it was like straight up and down and uh and you're carrying the bags the entire time there's two golf carts yeah there's no no golf cart how much do you think they weighed um
probably 60 pounds 70 pounds [ __ ] yeah together yeah no i would say each bag i i don't know weight that much how much each bag that'd be like you're carrying a hundred probably probably 40 pounds probably 40 pounds each so you're carrying 80 pounds around and i weigh 100. oh my god and up up and down hills and shitty golfers which means one guy hits it to the left the other guy hits it to the right so you got to run up to the left ball leave his bag and then take the one bag run off to the right see what club that guy needs and then as soon as he picks his club run back to the first bag and it it was crazy and they say the average golf course if you walk a golf course it's about seven miles and when i would go there and this is the [ __ ] this is the thing about when i was a kid i mean i was 13 years old i used to get on my 10-speed bike and i would ride seven miles to the golf course and i go to twin donuts on the way i get it i get a ham and egg sandwich on a roll with salt and pepper and a blueberry doughnut and i'd sit in the caddy yard with these [ __ ] lunatic irish catholic kids from yonkers bobby killer kalaki and nikki zapio one arm willy one guy had one arm and then i would go out and i would caddy two [ __ ] bags and then i'd get on my bike and i'd ride seven miles home again and then and then i'd go out and take masculine and drink all night sleep four hours come back and do it again now it's like i do a 45 minute workout i feel like a champion dude i watched shane gillis put down 15 beers during a podcast and he drank another 10 for the rest of the night he was 25 beers deep by the time we wrapped up the show last night i was like that is [ __ ] i mean he's a giant dude he's a big boy but that is preposterous is that how often does he do that i have no idea but i i can't imagine doing it once i would imagine if i drank 25 beers in a day once the next year the next day i'd be like there's no more beer in my life dude my brother-in-law drinks
he was drinking three or four six packs a day his whole life his whole life to when until he died still he's still drinking but i don't think he does those kind of numbers i think he does two six packs a day how is he alive he looks like me with a washboard stomach what construction guy just a [ __ ] lean bean machine doesn't eat sweets doesn't eat breakfast starts drinking early god damn yeah and i bet i bet he weighs 150 pounds that's crazy yeah the amount of calories alone yeah and all that beer is he drinking light beer yeah no that's the thing i think he's been saying yeah he was drinking bud lights like they you know it's not that deep with alcohol right like what is how much alcohol is in a bud like four percent something percent a little higher than four percent so it's like barely half of a canadian beer right in canadians like eight percent they have stronger beer yeah yeah like uh a solid canadian beer i think it's like a nine percent beer and what is an ipa probably about that well when you get those [ __ ] crafty dudes those craft craft beer dudes and start making their own [ __ ] yeah dictate i've had some potent [ __ ] yeah potent crap does it taste potent or it just feels potent oh you taste alcohol you taste [ __ ] wheat weird [ __ ] yeah yeah honey i've had one that was a kombucha beer it's kombucha with alcohol and it was pretty tasty it sounds good it was pretty tasty but it tasted just like kombucha and it was a small they gave you a small glass because it was like a lot of alcohol in it yeah it's weird it's a different thing yeah you know a small glass of beer once you once you're getting into small glasses of beer this is a different thing right yeah what are we doing here yeah it's so funny i was just talking to somebody out front about how when you started out you were you were straight edge man you had a beer once in a while yes that was it you didn't smoke weed you didn't get drunk nope you didn't take drugs nope i thought it was for losers yeah and a lot of times that's the truth
a lot of times it is well here's the problem the problem is is that there's people like you that exist that there's snoop dogs and there's joe rogans and there's people that and seth rogens who can function at a very high level while high and so all these teenagers are like hey joe rogan can do like nine podcasts a week and go on tour and he's high why can't i get high because most people can't do that it's a tolerance issue yeah like when i smoke weed with a real champ like wiz khalifa or um action bronson those guys smoke way more than me yeah there's people that smoke way snoop smokes way more than me yeah doing the podcast with snoop it was just blunt after blunt and you kept up with them no yeah i didn't try yeah i tap out early i need to try to keep this ship together yeah like when we're having a conversation i'm trying to guide it and figure out is this entertaining how do we move this along and how to you know he's just getting blasted yeah he's just amazingly entertaining just naturally but the fact that he can do like the super bowl high as [ __ ] he did that that that video was awesome weed he's in that little house getting blasted my god before going on stage in front of millions of people yeah they said don't [ __ ] walk coursey [ __ ] walked yeah you know they told eminem not to kneel of course he kneeled yeah yeah it's uh that was interesting it was interesting like people's reactions to it some people didn't like it it's like like with the halftime show is so strange anyway right it's like it's a thing in and of itself i mean yes it's a part of the super bowl but it's not really it's really just like a chance for a live performance with big superstars right it's for ratings yeah it's for ratings yeah and it's also like you get the military putting stuff in sporting events which is always weird to me it's like all of a sudden like you're at a baseball game and you got to stand up while they show up and this is not maligning soldiers but what does that have to do with sports why why is it they're suddenly inserting like a moment
of silence for for this or let's let's salute this guy the military pays for that [ __ ] do they really they pay every every whether it's a lakers game or a baseball game whenever they do that shout out to the troops they pay for that whoa they started doing that like 20 or 30 years ago it was military was never part of sports before but then the military wanted to recruit and they said where can we find young men that are kind of physical and they said sporting events and so they started marketing sporting events oh wow because you think of it as just an american patriotic thing that's what they try to tie it into oh yeah you don't think of it as like the military's paying yeah that these guys do this all right don't get me wrong joe rogan i love america i do yeah yeah i do too but you know that's tricky yeah what if they started doing that for comedy shows you know because you know there's those crappy comics to do how about a nice shout out to all the ladies how about a shout out to the troops what if it turns out the ladies and the troops are paying for this [Laughter] on the way in there's just a hat that the hot chicks put money girls going listen i'd like you to give a shout out to the ladies okay okay okay put what do we got here thousand bucks okay for an extra for an extra 50 i'll do crowd work with you i'll talk about your dress how many times does that happen to you hey it's my friend's birthday will you please call it out make fun of her yeah yeah yeah we don't do but there's a whole show that's prepared all right just just because it's live you had a good heckler last night down at the vulcan you had this [ __ ] lunatic who who yells out and it was exactly what you said first the chick said something that was kind of like it wasn't a big deal i forget what she said it was like a minor thing she was like survival of the fittest yeah and then you dealt with her in a funny way but it was like you had wrapped it up you'd put a bow on it you [ __ ] on her she you put her in her place you were moving on and then the
floodgate once one person starts yep all of a sudden the floodgates open that's what happens yeah and this guy yells out uh uh elon musk get the [ __ ] out of texas or something tell you get the [ __ ] out of texas like oh the smartest man in the world who's involved in completely revolutionizing ford's separate businesses creating a hundred thousand jobs in the state of texas good job him here bringing all those great jobs to state of texas why would you want him here with his [ __ ] rockets that are putting people on mars and this tesla plant that's that gigafactory there's a giant party there tonight it is the biggest [ __ ] place i've ever been to in my life really it's great it looks like some government facility right it looks like you're not supposed to be there and they built that fast huh it's so big dude it's so [ __ ] big like you're that's where i saw the tesla cyber truck we the elon was oh really yeah it's just i think sounds badass it's amazing it's one of the best looking cars i've ever seen yeah you see it in real life he told me you could it'll stop a 45 45 handgun no [ __ ] yeah i go a 45 like that's that's a [ __ ] heavy round whoa yeah the doors and the windows no [ __ ] it's a [ __ ] serious armored vehicle you getting one [ __ ] yeah 100 is he going to give you one question i bought he doesn't give anybody yeah he doesn't give away cars right i bought my other tesla from him i bought my current tesla yeah i have the plaid the uh it's plaid it's called plaid oh you know what it is no you know the deal he's a fan of space balls the movie yeah and like plaid was like what was it like a mode in one of their is that what it was in the spaceship like when it goes super fast it's the most preposterous car i've ever driven in my life yeah it's so fast it goes zero to 60 in 1.9 seconds what 1.9 seconds is that the fastest car out there it's got to be up there i mean it's certainly one of the fastest so you pull up to the line and and there's a lambo next to you with a red light you're right yeah he's gone he gets buried wow yeah all my cars that are fast like
my porsche my like my muscle cars they don't have a chance wow they have a chance with that very sedate looking four-door sedan four-door family sedan damn it's so like conservative-looking and you don't have to take the time to shift gears because it just whines on one motor one one gear there's no gears and the acceleration is instantaneous yeah it's so it's like a literally like a roller coaster dude next time i'm in town i need a ride oh you need a ride you need a ride i took tim dillon in a ride and he was screaming he was like jesus christ like you can't believe how fast it is wow yeah because my kids had been used to the old one which is very fast too was that the x i had the no jamie's got the x i got the um i had the p100d which was like the last model it's like the four-door model which is also stupid fast like no reason to make it faster than that no it's pretty dangerous to go that fast i took them the other day i'm like are you ready i'm like everybody's ready here we go boom and i nail it and just your little girl screaming in the back seat because that's so fast yeah i remember i rented a car uh i rented a mustang because as you know i've always wanted a mustang i can't believe you haven't bought one it's ridiculous it hurts my family yeah i know um so i rented one i had a i know i i two kids in college man it's paid for i got that money i get it and uh so i rented this mustang it was a gt and i took and it was a convertible and i took my this is the difference between my son and my daughter i took my son out first and i'm [ __ ] gunning it we're flying around venice and he's going slow down slow down and then we went home and i took put my daughter in the car and i'm flooring it and she's she's like kneeling in the seat putting her head up in the air going faster faster and it's always been that's been our life she is me and my my son is my wife we line up exactly that's hilarious isn't it weird how your kids just come out of the box totally different personalities you're right
like people i used to before i had kids i thought it was like a nature like it was more of a nurture thing than a nature thing i thought you know like but it's not it's like it's definitely both but i think you can take the for a lot of parents we really we get neurotic about whether or not we're doing all the right things for our kids are we doing enough did i [ __ ] them up and sometimes you got to give yourself a break and go you know what it's mostly nature there's a lot of nature in there you could definitely [ __ ] your kid up but it's interesting when they find twins that were separated at birth and adopted by different parents and then they bring them together and they like the same music yeah they wear the same clothes play the same sports yeah it's nuts yeah it's weird i know i know i just read about these twins that they found that were like that and like yeah it was exactly that they both had like music scholarships for the same [ __ ] instruments psychology strange yeah so strange like what what are we like what kind of combination of genes and epigenetics and you know natural environments and like what are we we're such a strange animal that we come out but i guess that's not that's kind of the case with dogs too if you've had puppies like different puppies like for whatever reason they just come out of the box like that they're just different yeah we had these two puppies that were siblings that we adopted together and they were rescues and one of them is the [ __ ] nicest dog in the world the other one we had to we had to send back because we had kids and it was biting [ __ ] everybody really yeah how old was it they were maybe a year and it was biting people yeah like angrily yeah it was a los appso like just a cute little dog but weird but they got a temp some of them have tempers yeah but but it's amazing when you raise kids though and you ask yourself these questions about you know the the the nature of div you know human development and you get to watch them and it's like i don't i don't understand why my father was not more interested in us as kids i there's nothing i am more
curious about over the last 20 years than watching every second of my kids development and seeing the choices they make and how they become who they are i mean nothing comes close to that being that interesting i think it's our generation responding to the sort of lackadaisical effort that our previous generation put in right you know i think we also i think our parents were raised by savages yeah i don't think we realize how much of a difference like 1920 versus 2020 really is yeah it's a ch the world is such a different place my grandparents came over from italy and ireland and they were raised by savages yeah they were savage people and those are the people that raised my mom and that's just how things were your kids you just open the door and you let them out and you hope they didn't get eaten by wolves yeah that was how you had children you had a bunch of them and if one of them died you cried at the funeral yeah that's it that's how they did it and one of them did die yeah a lot of times statistically like you know there was back then there was so many diseases that that you know oh yeah kids died from cotton yeah and uh my my grandfather my mother's father who's the one i most relate to he's the the relative i feel the strongest kinship too because i know him the best he was one of 13 he was the youngest of 13 in ireland they lived in a [ __ ] two-room mud house and they would save up money and they'd send one kid over at a time and then and the kids that got over to the u.s would send money back to ireland and they won one by one and in our i don't know if they do this in in italy but in ireland the uh the oldest daughter stays behind with the with the parents that was your social security plan one kid stayed behind and took care of you and the other 12 all came to the u.s that kid got [ __ ] that's right unless you like ireland which is great i mean now plus you got that room all to herself now that one room but back in those days it's so crazy that people would be willing to take that kind of a chance they didn't even
have a video to watch right you know there was there was just anecdotal evidence that america was better yeah that you had more opportunity there imagine a trip and also was it better opportunity i mean you showed up in america if you showed up during um you know a lot of the a lot of the irish came over during the famine which was in like 1840 or something and they they got off the boat right into the [ __ ] uh civil war and they got thrown into the army or some of them came during world war one and they got food they got enlisted right right this is food you could hide in the woods and go south yeah yeah yeah but you know the the irish had a they had a rough lot man my son's got a sign on his and his uh wall in chicago there's an actual sign says irish need not apply he got it some some antique store oh wow it was it was real man it was we were [ __ ] we were savages we were uneducated we believed in this crazy catholic religion that they didn't believe in in this country and we were we were looked down upon for being catholic um yeah catholics until president kennedy that was a that was a historic moment that a catholic became president oh yeah they thought like we don't think of that now you think of a catholic as just being a consistent branch of christianity right right but we're i guess it was the case after kennedy i guess you and i grew up in an era after kennedy so it had already kind of been accepted but back then when when i talked to my grandparents about it they were saying like catholics were looked down upon well they were looked at like that the pope would tell would rule this country that was the fear that they said was that it was a papal rule interesting yeah that's interesting yeah she's a vatican yeah [ __ ] crazy yeah yeah it is crazy how much money those [ __ ] have when you walk around and look at all that artwork and you're like hey yeah where'd you get this you're right i see some jewish tears on the corner of this monet over here it's basically like they're hoarders yeah i
know hoarders for like generation after generation of spectacular artwork yeah because it's all just kind of laying around yeah no 60 minutes did a piece on the basement of the vatican where they have all these archives of just drawer after drawer of like byzantine child art and you know oil paintings and sketches and i mean it it goes on forever and that [ __ ] you want to talk about pay pay every kid that's been molested give him a [ __ ] painting you should they should just have like an open house where if you've been molested you get a wristband you go in and you get to leave with one piece of art oh that's the darkest part about the catholic religion that everyone knows right everyone knows it's connected to child molesting yeah everyone knows yeah and we joked about it oh yeah priest and an altar boy walk into a bar is that funny no i mean neither of us got it but we all know somebody who got it yeah we all somebody who got molested yep oh yeah i know a couple people and i tell you what their lives are [ __ ] miserable because of it i got a friend who was molested by a priest he has been in and out of rehabs his entire adult life because he's never dealt with it well it starts you off in life in the worst possible way you're seven years old someone entrusts you with a priest he shoves his [ __ ] in your mouth and you're like what what what is god what is what is life like what what kind of rules are there i remember i didn't nothing that didn't happen to me but i did have a horrible [ __ ] catholic school teacher in first grade she was such a [ __ ] sister mary josephine i can't remember anybody's name from back then but i remember this [ __ ] really she was so [ __ ] mean yeah i don't remember she hit me or threatened to hit me i can't remember it was just so constant fear remember she used to tell you you should make you stay overnight and sit on a nail what yeah yeah she would she was going to keep you after school and she'd make fun of you if you cried she'd mock you did you tell your parents about this yeah my
mom's like whatever yeah it's good for your grades like you're getting good grades there did you ever have to sit on the nail no no she wasn't really making anybody sit in the nail she was just saying she's gonna make you sit on a nail she was just terrifying and just terrorizing little kids but the the glee that she had the way she would and then it just took a while for me to real and it kind of killed my my interest in religion because when my parents broke up i was five and i remember being really into god then because i wanted things to make sense because like i was five years old and all of a sudden i'd seen my dad hit my mom and then it was scary my dad yelling at my mom and he hits her and then we run out of the house we flee and also now we're staying with my grandparents and i remember being terrified and i remember thinking like i'm i was looking for order and for someone who was like a leader because clearly i saw what my dad did and in my eyes was like i had immediately written him off i was like well he's a piece of [ __ ] he just hit my mother i saw the whole argument right i saw why he hit her she brought home hamburger meat and he got me for dinner and he got mad that she brought home hamburger for dinner and he smacked her in the head and knocked her down i saw it happen i'll never forget it never forget it i'll never forget running into the bedroom to hide i'll never forget i remember the print on the sheets that i was like standing behind looking down because it had like these like it was in the 70s right so it had these like loops on the sheets everything was like you know colorful back then and uh so then i got really into religion and i was like i was talking about god all the time and i was trying to read the bible and i was looking forward to going to catholic school because like in my mind that represented order and then i went there and that [ __ ] just [ __ ] chased it all out of me right by the time i was done i was like
there's no way these people know god the nuns are not the ones that should be the face of the church because especially with kids because they and my mother went to catholic school in the bronx and got the [ __ ] kicked out of her all the kids did because these nuns they joined the nunnery because they didn't want kids that's why they joined they were running from that life and then they they joined up and then they went all right here's 30 [ __ ] kids for eight hours a day that you're now going to teach and they're miserable yeah nuns are [ __ ] nuns are the funniest thing because like first of all we make fun of the muslims for how the women are forced to dress what's a nun wearing it's like it's like a it's a burqa with a skylight you know what i mean they have to cover their ankles they wear those ugly [ __ ] shoes and then they are just like cheerleaders for the priest they can't perform a mask they can't do the transfiguration they can't right yeah they're just like these second-class citizens for life and i don't know it's it's i just whenever i see them it's like seeing a little person or something like you get you get happy and you want to like run up and take a selfie or hug them or something don't you get excited when you see a nun no i don't you get terrified no i get sad yeah i'm like this is a waste of a life yeah like because i just when i was there and i i saw how this lady was treating kids all i could think of was like my god she must be miserable this is me as like a six-year-old and i'm like she must be [ __ ] miserable right like there's no way you're a happy person but in my eyes it's like there's no way this is connected to god like if god is real he doesn't have anything to do with this yeah and it cured me of religion in first grade by the time the first grade was over my sister though who went to the same catholic school they had uh teachers who were priests
and teachers who were just regular people she got a regular lady and the regular lady was so nice yeah and i was like [ __ ] i got robbed you did and that's a shame because i i'm not completely you know like the catholic church gave me a lot and i i definitely went for the ride a lot longer than you did and i feel like it did order the universe for me in in a in a big way you know um and then i and then i was devastated when i was a teenager and i realized that it was a bunch of lies it really it [ __ ] me up existentially for a while really when did you figure it out uh in high school we took a class called uh the bible as world as world literature and it traced all the major parables in the bible noah's ark the garden of eden two previous like pagan texts that had existed for like hundreds of years before the bible was was written or christ came and i was just like no no really no yeah i was i cuz i used to talk to god i talked to jesus i felt like a kinship with jesus i still do i i still feel i still talk to god sometimes it's not like a it's not um religious it's spiritual but that that structure was put in there for me as a kid where i was told that there was this person that loved me and forgave me and that was a beautiful thing and i i it's still in there i reject the church yeah but i'll take god i'll take jesus what what kind of school were you in when you learned all this stuff i was at a private school so it was just very progressive interesting and so what did they like where's adam and eve what would that come from um god i don't remember i think the first references to like the first version of a similar story to noah and the ark is epic of gilgamesh right okay that's 6 000 years ago so it's many thousand years before the bible yeah and then there's there's a lot of other ones that are like real similar well and it's also
it's all based on page the pagans worship nature they basically so if you look at christ's birth was december 25th which is basically the winter solstice right easter when he rose from the dead was the vernal equinox that was that was spring you know it all corresponded with natural occurrences everything in the and the uh the christian calendar yeah and that wasn't really originally when his birth was supposed to be no right it was supposed to be in january or something something like that yeah yeah and they moved it around just to get the pagans on board yeah that was during constantine right wasn't that during the roman empire right and constantine wasn't even a christian until he was dying like on his death bed he was like ah i'll try it might as well yeah you never know head your bets [Music] i'm in the middle of uh reading uh meditations while i'm listening to the audiobook of meditations by marcus oh right yeah fascinating yeah fascinating that a man who lived almost 2 000 years ago was so in tuned with all of the basic aspects of being a person all the pitfalls of ego and of courage and of you know seeking knowledge and of balance the balance of life he was aware of all this stuff yeah almost 2 000 years ago right it's really crazy it is and like a lot of it he there's been a renaissance of uh of he's come back because a lot of it is like um like i go to therapy and the thing i do is cognitive behavioral therapy which is basically looking at your thoughts and realizing that your thoughts are not your reality and that trace is back to him yes yes yeah he he said that one of the the great quotes that i put it up on my instagram he said that the your happiness is directly connected to the quality of your thinking right it's fascinating right and and it and it's to challenge i mean it's the whole idea of challenging was you know pretty monumental back then you
know people didn't challenge right i wonder what they did and didn't do you know it's we have this interpretation of what they did and didn't do based on literature and also the amount of literature that we have relatively speaking compared to what we have you know about today like we have versions of life today by people that we don't agree with we would read these versions of life today and we go well this is not accurate but if someone finds these versions of what life is today a thousand two thousand years from now they're gonna read it and they're gonna go oh this is how people felt right this is this is their their perceptions of things but it's not necessarily accurate because you just have a small amount of people that are relaying this information whereas today you have so many people relaying this information so when you read about like what life was like 2 000 years ago from one person's perspective it always makes me wonder like how many different schools of thought were there back then like there's people today that are extremely close-minded extremely um cynical you know they're very negative ways of thinking and this is how they go through life if you let read that guy's journal yeah if you wrote a journal and then it got passed down thousands of years later they read it like oh this is how people looked at the world back then they were so cynical that's why they drank and did drugs and they just they were just their life was a misery and yeah but then you some other person's like eating healthy food and doing yoga and you know going to charities and giving people love and attention and trying to make the world a better place and they coexist right it's just like whose version of life do you get to hear yeah that's why like did you read howard zane at all no history of the americas and it's basically it's the history of america but told from different perspectives of the native american of of the slave and and it's it's very interesting because it is like wow this is the same group of events but seen in a completely different way he was uh he was a teacher at bu howard zinn he was a really important guy um they quote him in good will hunting
that was that was remember the big speech where he tells off the guy in the harvard bar he's quoting howard's in a lot in that yeah it's uh it's it is amazing how someone's perspective even someone who lived thousands of years ago can be directly applied like we're really the same thing like if you lived in the time of marcus aurelius you you would be greg fitzsimmons living 2000 years ago you'd you'd you would fit right in you would eventually adapt and you'd get used to it just like people got used to wearing masks and standing six feet apart from each other real quick yeah right real quick everybody got used to that right we got used to all kinds of weird things that we just accept as common in society we get used to like you see some countries that have like these very strict religious adherences like you have to follow these rules right if you don't follow these rules it's extremely disrespectful they just got accustomed to it if we lived there we would get accustomed to that too yeah yeah yeah i wonder what i god damn i i wonder if i could have gotten by and like the skill sets that you and i have that have made us somewhat successful one of us more than the other um but you'll catch up and and you wonder if those same skills would be applicable if it was the medieval times no we'd be [ __ ] yeah i'd be the court jester yeah i mean they killed a lot of court checks a lot of court jesters died yeah they tried out something you know you bomb one night and off with your head that was the problem with court jesters there weren't open mics where you could like try out new material you had to go straight to the king with your new [ __ ] how did you ever develop a good relationship with the king like where like the king knows that you're just [ __ ] around king i can't king you know i mean yeah she's not she's not really fat king it's just an old joke they think like the chris rock will smith thing i mean this is this is essentially
the jester and royalty right interesting it's exactly what it is interesting will smith is as much royalty yep in america kind of tainted now like severely tainted yeah but before that moment where he walked on that stage and slapped chris rock in the face within minutes he was about to win an oscar right like later on the night he won an oscar he is one of the greatest actors of all time he's been in so many films he's beloved by everyone and then decides he doesn't like the way the jester is referring to his wife even the most mild of ways if that was a thousand years ago he might have just walked up and cut his [ __ ] head off in front of everybody and made everybody clean it up and he just sat there and watched with his feet up and ate grapes while they cleaned chris rock's body up yeah mopped all the blood that poured out of his neck hole while people cheered yeah for sure and then they they would people would take his side just like there's a bunch of people that have taken will smith's side i've read a lot of people to take what tiffany haddish did preposterous yeah i mean how do you as a comedian take the side of a guy that is a that is attacking somebody who's just doing what was not a harsh joke and yeah not just not harsh but complementary gi jane ii if you could just just i'm up for it i'm very excited i'm up for the role congratulations yeah thanks g.i jane two is what he said gi jin one stars demi moore [ __ ] gorgeous actress she's a navy seal strong woman strong woman a total complete badass becomes a navy seal tells a guy to suck her dick like literally yeah this is the movie right this is a great movie for women yeah it's an empowering movie so saying g.i jane 2 to you yeah i think some there was some history there because he had also made some jokes about when the black lives matter thing happened she boycotted the oscar no no it wasn't oscar's so why oscar white yeah she boycotted the oscars and then he made a joke about how she was she wasn't invited to the oscars in the first place it's like me you know boycotting rihanna's panties or
something exactly he said isn't she on a tv show yeah well that's the one that gets the actors aren't you on a tv show oh yeah yeah because i remember i was dating this girl once this is before i had my no head shots policy i was dating this girl once and she was uh i was on tv show and she was trying to get into film she was an actress and she said she was [ __ ] on me she goes uh i don't want to do tv i just want to do film and i remember like throwing my head back going ah i go hold on so if the producer friends just calls you up and says hey we would love to have a show wrapped around you you're gonna be like no i want to do independent films yeah i just was mocking her i was like what did you just say yeah i'm not i don't want to do tv i'm going to do films like you're not doing anything right you're not you're literally not doing anything yeah and you're telling me you don't want to do a television show yeah but that was a thing back then for like serious actors until these shows like sopranos and all the netflix shows and game of thrones these serial shows that proved to be more in depth more dynamic more interesting better writing more captivating they have so much more time to develop plot lines and characters and it's just game of thrones is better than any movie that's ever existed by far by a long and also as an actor to get a role like james gandolfini got and said okay here's a roll you we can either do this for two hours once yeah and we can try to have a character arc happen there or we can do it for 10 years and this character will go to all you can explore different facets of this character and we've got a staff of genius writers that'll come up with stuff i mean what an adventure for an actor to go through that yeah ruth from ozark holy [ __ ] she's good you don't get a ruth from ozark in a movie yeah you don't have the time right you gotta you gotta build into that yep yep what is it you're gonna have to [ __ ] kill me was that the season finale yeah that [ __ ] like wild yeah yeah i don't know [ __ ] about [ __ ] she's one of the greatest characters in all of she is
acting well i like it when there's a character it's it's like it's like steve buscemi when you see somebody that physically look like they could be a badass and then they transform into somebody that is scary oh she's awesome i think she won the she's only 27 last year wow she's only 27. didn't you win the emmy she should have i mean who knows those i think award shows are nonsense and i i feel even stronger about it yeah after yeah she did i feel even stronger that awards are nonsense after watching the the oscars allow will smith to go on stage and receive an oscar and give a speech after he assaulted someone on television yeah after he broke a law like you can go to jail for that for quite a long time and let's be honest it's a workplace you are at work the oscars is part of your job yes and and in a workplace somebody physically assaulted somebody and then got employee of the month the play of the year play of the year that's the boy of the year right right right that's basically employee of the year best actor yep right yep oh my god wild yeah it's [ __ ] crazy it's a morally vacant and bankrupt industry it really is yeah i mean the just the compilation of people thanking harvey weinstein over and over and over again all these oscar winners and huge celebrities and all these progressive liberal icons thanking harvey they would go up and whenever they would win something they would 100 thank harvey you want to be in another harvey movie you're going to thank harvey [ __ ] and you go up there and you thank harvey and you take pictures and you hug them and the there's a list of people that have photos with that guy and and like the priest altar boy thing they knew they knew every i knew i'm not exactly on the inside of hollywood and i was well aware of harvey's uh casting couch everybody did um tarantino was telling me about an old hollywood producer that had an office with a bedroom in it and he would take the starlets they would come into his office and he would
literally open up a bedroom and he had a bed right there and he'd [ __ ] him and he they [ __ ] all the stars because you were the only way that they were gonna get in a movie wow and so if you wanted to be in a movie you had a [ __ ] and there was a woman we've talked about this uh before was it maureen this irish woman do you remember her name who wrote an article about it they gave they interviewed her from that time from early hollywood and she was explaining how her career is not going to go anywhere because she won't [ __ ] these guys and she was an old-school hollywood movie star yeah and she was like at this pinnacle of her life but realizing she's not going to keep working maureen o'dowd maureen is the times writer oh no i know that uh jerry lewis got trouble and you know woman came out and said it was standard that if you worked with jerry lewis he went in his dressing room and you had sex with him now if you were if you were cast as the girlfriend in his new movie you were going and she was brought into his trailer and he just basically [ __ ] took his pants off and expected it and i can't remember if she actually had sex with her or not but she said that that was the standard that was the rule what is the mourinho o'hara that's it that's it wow see if you can see if you get the quote because it's pretty crazy i think she was in the the quiet man with john with uh john wayne oh yeah what year was that 50s 50s i think that makes sense she gave this quote as to like what it was like to be an actress back then yeah and i mean i think that's what that business was about it was about the executives and the the all the the people that like put the money into the movies and they would all hobnob and they would all bang the actresses yeah which is crazy great and plus it when it was the studio system and you got hired for a three-year contract you were having sex with the head of the studio for that i guess you probably had
to yeah that was crazy and that was the how i mean if you think about them we've discussed this before but the business itself is so insane because you take people that are incredibly insecure and generally speaking most of them were either ignored or they had some sort of childhood trauma that leads them to seek out exorbitant amounts of attention yeah like not just regular amounts of attention but exorbitant and i'm sure there's very healthy people that want to act and i've met healthy people that are actors but it's hard to make it in that business and the people that really really really want it and find a way to [ __ ] network their way and do the politics thing and get through the real [ __ ] sociopaths they get through to the golden handle yeah of the of the i made it door or turn that knob that is the worst environment for them you're going into a place where you get chosen or not chosen and most of the time you don't get chosen so you go into audition so basically they're deciding whether they like you in real time and you walk in there and you hope they like you and most of the time they don't so every time you get rejected you just get shot down further and further and further and then you see people who do make it and you get more and more resentment and then some fat [ __ ] like harvey weinstein comes along and offers you listen i can guarantee you an academy award right just got to guarantee a nut in your mouth irish film star maureen o'hara today charged hollywood producers and directors with calling her a cold potato without sex appeal because she refuses to let them make love to her says the mere new york correspondent i'm so upset with it that i am ready to quit hollywood maureen says it's got so bad i hate to come to work in the mornings i'm a helpless victim of a hollywood whispering campaign because i don't let the producer and director kiss me every morning or let them paw me they have spread word around town that i am not a woman that i am a cold piece of marble statuary i guess hollywood won't consider me as anything except a cold hunk of marble until i divorce my
husband give my baby away and get my name and photograph and all the newspapers if that's hollywood's idea of being a woman i'm ready to quit now and this is from what year 1945 wow that's wild she was in that that movie she did with john wayne the whole the whole plot line was that she was a they were engaged and she was being difficult and the big payoff at the end of the movie is john wayne [ __ ] hits her and drags her through the fields knocking her down and it's like this feel-good ending that's kind of a comedy yeah that's again like we were talking about the difference between 1920 and 2020 that there's literally there's completely different worlds yeah completely different kinds of human beings and that's represented in the art if you watch movies i mean just watch steve mcqueen movies from 1970 smacks the [ __ ] out of his co-star right i mean they hit everybody hit people back then it was normal for a star of a film to hit the co-star who's a female in the face right all the time and it was just it was felt justified she talked back yeah i mean it was there's so many films like that all right look at this mcclint locked oh yeah they're magnificent wow [Laughter] that's crazy she's she's over his knees and he's spanking her yeah john wayne and maureen o'hara in mclint lock what is that movie like have you seen it i think we've we might have watched this clip before that's kind of why i got pulled it up but yeah she was a hottie give me some volume there's some like wild scene here i think couldn't get some [Music] it's also interesting the fascination that people had with the west back then yeah i mean how many west movies were made still making them everybody's watching him chase this woman away [Music] she's running
to get away from him and the crowd's like let's see what happens maybe he'll beat her [Music] wow so this is the 1940s or 50s it's in color so it's got to be the 50s right i think it's a 52 maybe [Music] so he's follows her into the barn uh-oh oh her pants fall off [Music] that was that was yeah we need to see some legs so he's just casually walking while she's running because she's got heels on she can't run fast and he can just as a strong man stroll after her and keep up with her oh she hit him with a tomato he climbs over the counter [Music] she's still running away from him chinese stereotype guy in the background watching he falls down because she throws some buckets around oh my goodness oh boy now he's gonna hit her with the bucket is that what's gonna happen [Music] oh my god this is so corny oh my god he's falling down but this is what's wild everybody is outside like stomping at the doors trying to get in to watch him chase her while they destroy a guy's store yeah and this guy they don't give a [ __ ] this guy's like hey my store oh my god she pushes the chair at him and he falls down now she's gonna escape oh no uh-oh here comes dating he can't even get up he's so unathletic all right let's get her going up a ladder let's get a low angle shot of her going up the ladder terrible oh my god look the ladder came loose butt shot up the ladder and that's just hotness oh man let's get her in the water let's get her wet in the slip wow oh she pulls her in too but you see her like that's all just natural hotness girls didn't even work out back then oh look at this lord
isn't it funny when you see a woman like that you think what does she look like today she's dead she's dead 100 yeah yeah i mean she was probably 30 then that's a dead lady [Music] what are the odds she's alive sometimes you see an old lady and you're like wow you were hot 50 years ago oh for sure all right she's good in a new style [Music] this is hilarious the way they all follow him as he's chasing her is so goddamn strange yeah like imagine this movie today imagine if someone did a recreation of mclintock yeah imagine all right all right now he's gonna walk in he knows where she is oh no now he's got her she throws herself through a window round get away from him beat by this man oh now he's got her and now he grabs her by the hand and everybody loves it look at them laughing she just went through a window now he's manhandling her hilarious [Music] oh now he's going to put her over his lap and he's going to spank her in shovel and he's beating her with a shovel oh my god oh my god this is wild yeah she's screaming and he's hit her like 10 times in the ass with a metal shovel keep it you may need it now now get your divorce that's how divorce worked back then wow [Music] yeah don't think you're gonna get rid of me that easy she still wants him in other words he beat her with a shovel in front of the whole town and she's saying this marriage is not over and now she's chasing this is how unrealistic hollywood was back then she catches this carriage in her heels and she couldn't run from a guy walking just five minutes ago and now shouldn't she catches the carriage that's pulled by horses and now she's been subdued and we see them at home and now it's docile and
there's nothing happening he solved the problem the problem was she needed a beating she needed a beating wow that's wild yeah that's wild and the crazy thing is that's not the movie i was talking about it's another movie with the two of them where it's the same ending really yes so he beat up a lot of women in those movies well her in particular that was a regular thing how much how much domestic abuse existed back then was it 100 like how many how many husbands and wives physically fought back then i think that they really did think that they were like when they i know when they had kids they felt like it was a duty that you know spare the rod spoil the child like they really thought it was part of parenting and i think that that probably extended to marriage to some extent also i mean i can't hitting my wife is the furthest thing i could ever imagine like the impulse i've been mad at her i've yelled at her but to lift my hand to strike her is so foreign to me hitting anybody if i'm hitting someone it's because there's a lot of danger right some real bad things are happening if i'm hitting somebody it's not i'm upset at someone yeah if i'm hitting someone it's because i have to yeah this is the fact that this is like how they used to have comedy movies right the fact that the whole town was following him around is so strange like i'd like to be in the writing room and then we'll have the whole town follow john wayne as he chases maureen through the streets i like it i like it you know like an angry mob yeah oh like a bunch of gawkers yeah just all gawkers onlookers you know just a bunch of rubber neckers following him around with big smiles on their face laughing while he beats his wife over his knee right and that's the final scene is them kissing because he he tamed her like a wild bronco yeah he broke her because she was broken wow there was something wrong with her that's that's less than 100 years ago that's what's
crazy yeah like that when you look at art it shows you it gives you it's like a time machine it's one of the more amazing things about film is that it's a time machine into this era where things were just way different and one of the best representations of that is comedy like comedy from 1950 just doesn't work it doesn't work you know it's like it's the wrong pieces and the gearings off and it's got the wrong fuel it doesn't work it just doesn't work well sometimes it does like i can still watch the my my kids watch the marx brothers when they were little and they got it from the get-go they were kids they didn't know any better no show it to a 40-year-old you don't like the marx brothers it's good it's good it's it's it's film it's it's interesting because it's a part of an earlier era right but what i was talking about stand up yeah oh yeah yeah stand up lenny bruce who without him neither one of us would be here yeah right he was the he's in my feeling he is the the og he's the godfather he's the guy who figured out how to take social and cultural issues and just a a unique take on life and explain it in a way that blew people away right it was not just jokes and he brought in the fact that he was jewish there was a context to his opinions and you know he was um yeah he was he was challenging everything and uh and the way he went off the rails at the end with thought with all the um the legal stuff yeah it was it was a testament to the fact that he was going to be true to whatever was going on in his head and it was a shame because nobody else that wasn't going through everybody else's head they didn't want to hear it yeah he was reading court papers on stage and there's video that i've watched the videos yeah um but if you go and watch his stand-up from the early 60s it's not applicable now doesn't work today there's a couple of jokes that work today like a couple every now and then you're like ah that's pretty funny but for the most part that ground has been tread upon by so many
people since then that it's like the things that he's saying that are groundbreaking are just normal things to us today right it was jazz i mean the way he talked was jazz and it was like you were i i could still listen to it because like you said it's a time capsule to see somebody go on stage and talk in that way at a time when people didn't talk that way was very brave not just the language but the the rhythm of it and the attitude of it everything about it was really like he was a maverick yeah he was a maverick and he was a brilliant guy who saw things and knew that there was a way to talk about them on stage that would change people's opinions of these things change the way people saw these subjects and the way to do that is to make them laugh about them right and so she was expanding people's perceptions while doing stand-up comedy but it's a time capsule if you didn't live in that time if we lived back then we would be howling at him the way we howl at dave chappelle today but we don't live back then right so it's like you you're so advanced by the time you're a 54 year old man today the amount of exposure you've had to different styles of living and ways of life and philosophies and different there's just like so much texture to society and life that just doesn't seem to exist back then because of the time so if you i would love to just man if i had a [ __ ] time machine and i could just sit unobserved and just watch a lenny bruce performance from and be in the crowd in 1964. at the village yeah i made just to see the people back then like what with it what was it like to walk around back then like what was it like like see them smoking cigarettes inside and laughing and like what how do they treat each other like they're different humans they're different kinds of humans man and you see it in film and also as a comedian it's so hard for us to break through what people have already seen and and like you said it's like it's a more limited it's a like people were of the same ilk back then they were
predominantly the same races and that same like repressive society that they were living in and to go into an oppressive society and break down those moors in front of them in a funny way you can't do that today the same way because everything's already been exploited and been challenged and the lines have all been crossed but the line was so much richer back then oh yeah to go into that territory uh and and [ __ ] with it was powerful did you ever see that movie yesterday about the beatles it's not really about the beatles it is about beatles music but it's about a guy who wakes up in a world where no one knows oh yeah yeah yeah that was great yeah i love that so he sings these songs and everybody's like this is incredible yeah like what's this from he's like you never heard the song yeah and then he realized nobody knows that i think he was in a car accident or something is that what happened to him i forget what happened to him something happened where freak bus accident yeah so something happened this is the premise and there's only a few people that have heard of the beatles for some reason and these people know what he's doing and they think he's like paying homage to this band that doesn't exist anymore like well good on you for bringing the beatles music and he's like oh [ __ ] you know so a few people know but most people think he's just a [ __ ] genius imagine if you could go back to 1964 and do stand-up how you would crush yes oh my god yeah oh my god how you would crush it and you didn't have to you wouldn't even have to steal someone else's material like this guy did in the beatles movie yeah if you could go back with your own act in 1964 you would be the godfather right a hundred percent yeah if you could do the greg fitzsimmons of 2021 material in or 2022 material in 1965 you would be what the greatest of all time people would have tattoos of you on their back there would be posters of you and every [ __ ] comedy club yeah you know those lenny bruce things like whitney just gave me a photograph a frame photo of lady bruce getting arrested oh yeah yeah and it's like that
is what they would give it about you yeah 100 right you would have to slow down they you'd have to give them a break they'd be laughing so hard they'd probably have hemorrhages yeah it would be like putting tom brady in the nfl in 1950 when those guys had bellies right smoked yeah right it's yeah it's a different world yeah different world right but it's like that world has to exist because that's the foundation and then everything gets built from it you know prior came from bruce he took what lenny bruce was doing and he made it funnier he was better and his stuff still works today there's a lot of his material that's still very funny today but even then when you're dealing with you know 1970 in 1975 1980 versus 2022 it's a different world man yeah like watch eddie murphy raw it's like wow this is like a [ __ ] time machine to a different mode of thinking and even eddie murphy like watches that and cringes yeah he says he would never do that material now all right kind of crazy it was it was very homophobic oh my god yeah yeah but in a funny way like it wasn't in a mean like it wasn't homophobic in a hateful way it was just homophobic and like like your joke you did last night about how like you missed the f word you know because it was fun it was just it's how you said happy birthday to your friend yeah there's a way to say a thing where you're talking about a subject and you're not being mean you're just talking about a subject and then there's a way to do it where you're talking about a subject but you are you're using that subject and you're you're disparaging it you're [ __ ] it four laughs right whether that subject is a an ethnic group a racial group a sexual orientation whatever it is if it's just women you know or if it's just men i mean remember there was there was like a series of women that would just [ __ ] on men you know like that was their thing it's like man think this man like and and i was always like imagine if a guy went on stage and said all those things about women yeah like you'd be people would hate you right they'd hate
you so much but the idea was like men have had their time in the sun it's time for girls to take it back and the way to do it is they [ __ ] on men you know yeah well what about we were talking last night about regina what's her name on the on the oscars regina king she did a bit where she said we need to do testing the uh the covet committee said that we have to randomly test some people and so she calls up all the hunky guys on stage and uh and she starts frisking them in a way that you go like like digging her hand into their crot like the into their [ __ ] it was crazy and all anybody could think was like could you do could i bring nicole kidman up on stage and start patting her down in front of millions of people for a laugh oh my god i didn't see that can i see that can i see her say that and do that and then she even made a joke about um i can bring will smith up because uh jade gave me jada gave me gave me a pass yeah i want to see her do this nobody slapped her over that that's why i don't even know who regina king is she's great actress uh what do you say um i think that that movie about the women that were working for nasa is that her what was that movie i didn't see that movie i i miss nine out of 10 movies really yeah do you get the screeners no i just don't i just i hardly watch movies anymore yeah let me see this here your test is fine it says that you're married i'm negative negative regina also called out wills did you miss it where she's groping him what's at the beginning of that video it's just longer of her calling them all on stage i was trying to find the actual video but like the video isn't going to be on oh they go when she starts groping them they go to a still in this uh [Applause] it's rough you know what i mean i just gotta get on down here make sure you're okay all right wow yeah let me get on in there
yep he's feeling good everybody you get on those oh backing his ass up to her and she's rubbing all over his body and everybody's laughing you're safe no no it's real josh it's real academy protocol okay guys thank you miss hall so is this playing off the fact that men used to grope women is that what this is is that no it's just that she she kind of played the single the the the single horny girl all night was kind of her persona because she's not a stand-up and the other two are so that was kind of her bit all night okay so then she grupped on them okay i'm triggered well it's just it's it's funny i guess that it's not funny it's funny that someone thought it was funny yeah it's like that that was in a writer's room and everybody was like yeah let's do that right well it's like you said it's like it's their time they're empowered right yeah but no one feels like the men get victimized which is that's what's interesting right because no one feels like the man is in danger so because of that it's not a bad thing right but if you had like a giant woman like a six foot four super athlete volleyball player or something caitlyn jenner did it a giant woman i said and you you went with like you know like a young aggressive sexually aggressive woman yeah biological one and she's groping like jockeys right maybe then yeah you'd be like hey this is this feels a little weird yeah he's in danger they're in danger right she could grab him by the hair and just stuff him into her pants right you know he'd ride her like a horse yeah see that would be different if you knew that she could kill him you know like if you had a giant mma fighter like this woman named um
[ __ ] her name uh gabby garcia this woman named gabby garcia who's this roided up female mma fighter who probably weighs 250. no [ __ ] yeah really yeah she she's a freak damn freak of science and she's a big woman already because i think she's like six two wow so there so like if that girl is with bobby lee in bed yeah you know you guys see her jacked like there's photos of her like flexing shimmy she that's her right there whoa that's that roids oh yeah yeah not just roids all the roids [ __ ] i mean she's a giant woman and she she fights over in japan sometimes she has these freak show fights where she'll fight like you know like like some [ __ ] housekeeper or something like that it doesn't make any sense like she's fighting someone who has no chance of beating her and they she beats the [ __ ] out of them like the women that she's fought like some of them they're like these tiny ladies and she look at this this is her soccer kicking this chick does she fight legit other fighters as well she fights other fighters too but the thing is she's so big she's never going to get anybody her size to fight is could she win against a good smaller fighter or she she's awesome she's lost in jiu jitsu man she lost a jujitsu match recently to a woman that might weigh a hundred pounds less than her wow yeah like look at look at the size difference there right there that image look at the size difference between her and the girl she fought that's that's real so they do stuff like that in japan japan likes freak shows they like freak fights they do like three-on-one fights and stuff they don't do that that's russia oh in russia russia they like to do yeah i saw a father-son team fight against another father-son team yeah they had they've had women fight men they've had a bunch of wild [ __ ] happen over there i don't i mean but my point is like if that lady was like feeling up a guy in a sketch it
would be a little more weird yeah right what's like when you see that woman regina king and she's touching jason mamoa jason mamo is this giant athletic strong man you know he's not in danger yeah like he can go hey hey stop grabbing my [ __ ] let's just stop all right he's not in trouble yeah right so that is why it's funny i guess yeah but it is very hypocritical a little bit that that is a that's a source of humor that she's going to get her cheap feels on josh brolin and jason momoa yeah okay like if i was those guys i'd be like real is this what we're doing yeah so what am i supposed to do i'm just supposed to pretend that this is funny well that's what was tough about the sketches that they were forced to go through with it and you could see on their faces they they weren't happy josh brolin's a smart guy yeah he doesn't there's no way he thinks that's funny yeah he's just got to like do the thing that you're supposed to do when you're up there let him touch you yeah so funny all right it's weird you ever been anybody attack you on stage no no don't put that out there [Laughter] the joe rogan challenge not interested in that no dude i get attacked i know i remember a few times i remember you got attacked in boston you fought the guy off they pulled the guy off stage and then you went all right who else wants some you salvaged the whole show by saying that yeah because instead of like everybody being like oh my god i can't believe this guy just attacked greg you cracked a joke everybody started laughing and you rolled right back into your act right well i had to the show well the show ended because the guy [ __ ] picked me up by the neck and spun me around he was an israeli soldier and he was doing some krav maga [ __ ] and he got me into a headlock and literally whispered on your arrest spun me we were like tables got knocked over and you know it was at stitches so the bouncers are all out front smoking a joint and nobody was in the room and my friends happened to be there that night and then so they would they came up on stage and they dragged the guy out and then uh and
then and the manager comes up to remember harry conforty stitches yeah and he goes uh all right fitzy you got five minutes left i'm like what i gotta finish and so i went back and he i think he thought it was like get back on the horse you know yeah so i went up and i said all right who's next they probably got to drop the checks they got to drop the checks that's probably what it was it was i think it was my first standing ovation that when i went back up there what the way you handle it though okay who's next who else wants some but it got them laughing then i remember i'm like that's well done well done because it's like those moments where you don't know what to do like chris rock after he got slapped didn't know what to do yeah and he kind of tried to blow it off and go right back into the script but in his head he's like i can't believe what just happened like we were all in shock about it there was a moment where he went i could yeah yeah and we and we're all going yeah do it yeah well you know what he would have said he would have went into her infidelity and you know the public humiliation of him being on her podcast and talking about her [ __ ] her son's friend yeah and having a relationship with him for years like that whole thing and oh the whole is seeing will smith sit there like whose [ __ ] idea was that yeah to do that publicly like whose idea was that like that alone was like yo like if i was friends with him i'd be like e-e-e-e yeah talk amongst yourself you guys want to have a conversation about this you want to express it that's good but to put this out there for the whole world to mock and that is what they're going to do yeah they're going to mock it right this is not what you want yeah you don't want this and you don't want it in this way yeah because like people have broken down that that video of them talking forensically so you can see where the edits are like here her legs are crossed and then a second later her legs are down she doesn't have enough time to uncross them that means they did multiple takes of
this so they had ver very different versions and they tried to piece it together and put it together as one conversation oh really yeah there's people that have done like forensic analysis of the video wow body language analysis damn just get divorced yeah just keep moving what do you think it is that that keeps him with her who knows maybe loves her maybe he likes a strong woman maybe he likes that kind of personality maybe he's into that yeah and i don't mean like a strong one when i say strong woman i don't mean like an ambitious intelligent woman that's what a lot of people think was trauma i mean when someone who likes to be the boss yeah someone likes to tell you what to do like the the term strong woman is a pejorative to some folks and i don't mean it in terms of like a strong disciplined successful ambitious woman i mean like overbearing i mean bossy yeah i mean overbearing i mean someone who enjoys telling people what to do someone who's very self-centered and enjoys telling people what to do they get off on that they get off from that control yeah we all have friends that are like that we have friends that are couples where they where they're oh and it's not just the woman either one when there's a ship when you see one person push the other one around and you see them just just fall into that role of like that dysfunctional um what do you call it a uh an enabler somebody who enables their anger and their because there's a a lot of successful people in hollywood and i'm sure whatever industry you're in out there listeners where the [ __ ] wins the person that will make everybody else uncomfortable and will keep it up will most people will fold in the face of that and they will put up with it because they don't want to be uncomfortable anymore well it depends right and if you're in a situation like the harvey weinstein situation where everybody relies on that person yeah that was the different situation there because he was the producer of these films he was the one who gave the green light he was the big dog
so everybody relied on him the directors the actors the academy knew that uh you know one of those films that his company put together was going to be oscars they were all incredible yeah you know hinchcliffe has a whole bit about it but if you go and watch all the films that he produced i mean it's there's some of the greatest films of all time mayor max had how many goddamn amazing films yeah you know probably more than any producers in history probably in terms of oscars in terms of just awesome [ __ ] movies yeah i mean he put together so many awesome movies and the fact that he was working with tarantino who's in my opinion the greatest movie producer or the greatest director of our era so like a tarantino film is like when was the last time you saw a bad one yeah i know they don't exist yeah they're all they're all at least watchable yeah at least and most of them are [ __ ] awesome yeah he's got like a stop like like there's most of tarantino's films while you're in the middle of it you're like what the [ __ ] yeah there's these what the [ __ ] moments you are never not engaged in the movie you get to me a great movie i get lost in when it ends i get i have to shake myself out of the experience i was just in yeah and that's how he brings you into a world and it's the dialogue it's the specificity of the dialogue it's the energy of the music his soundtracks are incredible his casting you know he's got he's found his stable of people that he believes in and he knows how to use them yeah no it's incredible if you really look at the body of work from reservoir dogs to pulp fiction kill bill hateful eight i mean just you can go down the line yeah they're so good man yeah so many [ __ ] bombs i mean like nuclear bombs i don't mean like bad i mean like just [ __ ] smash hits right he's like he's like the coen brothers without oh brother where art thou i didn't like that i love that movie really love it you know what i never like their movies the first time i always like the movies the first time and then i like them better and then i
love them and then i think they're genius i the more you watch a coen brothers movie yeah the better it gets yeah what is your favorite colon brothers movie oh raising arizona is my favorite movie of all time [ __ ] movie what about fargo though fargo is right there it's right there jesus i mean talk about steve buscemi like he just uh you know he's so [ __ ] great and uh he's in other guys just the casting the offbeat casting so much of great movies is about you know what happens before the before this thing is shot and who you cast yeah isn't it interesting like a guy like that is so important for a movie like to have like an offbeat odd looking dude that kind of like it gives you a certain flavor to him like if he was a good looking guy if he was like a james franco looking guy in those roles it would not work right right you need a guy like him yeah you need a sad sack you need a guy who looks like life is beating him up for his entire existence yeah yeah yeah you need you need odd characters when they get those hookers and they're in the motel room and the tv's on and they're both having sex right next to each other on twin beds it's just so so [ __ ] dead there was just no life to it it was just oh yeah we were talking the other day about comedy movies about how the genre has been killed by wokeness there's not a lot of good comedy movies anymore yeah like if you go back to like step brothers and you know super bad like you can't make those movies anymore and that's not that long what about uh tropic thunder tropics on it you can't make that movie can you make that movie no chance yeah if you tried to make that movie verbatim today they would [ __ ] show up with pitchforks but borat's doing it sasha baron cohen is still making movies that are out there he's
he's found a way to do it as parody yeah yeah and to trick people he's found a way to do it like what he did with that the the borat movie yeah holy [ __ ] [ __ ] crazy when the girl's dancing and she has her period like oh my god and those poor girls the debutants this is their biggest day of their life yeah they've been groomed for this for generations this is their coming out the only thing i didn't like about that movie was how they tried to portray what what was going on with rudy giuliani like rudy giuliani or hate rudy giuliani he was 100 not masturbating he was tucking his pants into his sh tucking his shirt into his pants like an old man uh-huh laying back tucking his and the guy runs in you know don't have sex with her she's too young or she's not old enough have sex with me or whatever he said i don't know i think you give that 30 more seconds his pants were unbuckled you think so yeah i i think he was he was into it he he was not fighting because did you see the the one with um uh who is the politician that he trapped in the room and he was gonna that he was coming on to in the previous movie um uh who he was running for president ron paul ron yeah was it ron paul was it i can't remember who it was some he had somebody he came on to somebody and they like said get me out of here and he stopped it really june on rudy was not stopping it yeah but it wasn't him it was rudy giuliani with a girl who was talking to him and he was signing a release yeah you remember all that no he was he yeah there was something going on where so they had to sign something and he was taking his microphone off he had to take his microphone off because he just did an interview so here it is so he pats her yes puts his hands on her she's talking she's touching him and taking his microphone off and then he pats her and so he sits down and he tucks his pants back in show that again laying back on the bed is a very submissive thing to do in that situation i mean his understanding is
that this is an underage girl isn't it i don't know what his understanding is is that what it was she was 15 is that supposedly i don't know how old they said she was i you can give me your phone number and your address yeah the tap is a little weird but he's an old dude old dudes tap people like that so she's taking off his uh thing and he's tucking his pants back in yeah but he's not touching his dick is he [ __ ] it's a little weird yeah a little weirder than i remember his hand stays in there a little longer than normal because like if i'm gonna talk my pants i'm gonna go like this yeah that's it and me sit back up i also know as a married guy if i'm alone in a room with a girl that age and things get touchy she's touching me or whatever it's time to stand up take myself out of a dangerous situation well first of all if she's 15 that should you should never be alone right with a 15 year old in a bedroom in a hotel something yeah that's just just that by the just to have to answer the question were you alone in a bedroom with a 15 year old girl well because she there was an interview and she was like no no no no no no no you don't yeah yeah no the cheating starts about two steps before that what with a 15 year old yeah right but back in his day that was like what age was the age of consent when rudy giuliani was 30. 16. 15 probably right 15. so let's let's imagine what how old is he now you say he's 80 probably probably 80. yeah so we got to go back 50 years so let's go back to 1970 ish like what was the age of consent in 1970. well there was also the sexual revolution was happening which i think lowered the age a little bit it made things a little bit i think it made things more i mean look at you know roman polanski and you know it was everything was depicting yeah i mean look at woody allen in that year was making the uh what was the movie he
made with the with manhattan no that's that's the that's the age of uh legal drinking and stuff to marry without parental consent in 1970 the age of majority was lowered from 21 years old to 18 years old but that's just to i think that's just to get married the age of consent is different that's parental consent for marriage no but it's not 21 jaime it was never 21. it's always been 18. to say that it's lowered making it legal for males and females 18 years old to marry without parental consent that's just mary there's it's definitely never been 21 to have sex no chance it's the same thing what does it say consent for marriage but that's considered sexual sexual and law yeah but it's not but look it says was about 12 years old for females about 14 years old for male 1 12th century when they first made agent consent today's age of consent for sexual intercourse is between 14 years old and 18 years old in western countries i'm pretty sure that they even made that because you would just marry someone so you could do that like yeah right but i don't think it was ever 21. what that's saying is that it was 21. i can't imagine that there was ever an age of sexual consent that was 21 in america that doesn't make sense no that seems people are marrying so much younger than that right like so what is the age of sexual consent just google what was the age of sexual consent in 1917. i'm looking at that that that's that's a hundred percent what i googled it was as you could send 1970 and that's right came up maybe i think the way they were interpreting it's interesting that it was they were interpreting it as marriage yeah you know it was maybe this is like how they thought back then like if you were having sex you're going to get married yeah which is so terrifying yeah i got like a 1920. there was an issue 26 states had age of consent at 16 21 states had eighty consent of eighteen one state georgia had an aging consent of fourteen georgia that was like nineteen twenty so a
hundred years ago didn't elvis when he married his wife wasn't she like 14 when he hooked her i think when they met she was like 14 and then uh they dated and then i'm not sure how well i think i think she was like 17 when they got married but they dated and she went overseas when he was in the army yeah visited him you know the crazy one is jerry lee lewis his cousin right it was his cousin and she was 13. yes yeah like you find that jerry lee lewis with his cousin with his thirteen-year-old i typed and i added a few more words okay and it was still words at the same time age of consent intercourse in the us in 1976 in 1929 the age of consent for marriage sexual intercourse was raised to 16 years old for both females and males so it used to be younger than 16. so in 1970 the age majority was lowered from see the age of majority though is a different thing i think that is the marriage thing so you uh could get married at 18 it used to be 21 for marriage which is pretty wise really like it should probably be like 21 for marriage yeah i mean like you don't [ __ ] i don't know i barely know what the [ __ ] you're doing at 21. yeah um you're not you don't your frontal lobe's not fully formed until you're 25 right um see if you can find a photo of jerry lee lewis with his 13 year old bride 13 year old cousin yeah damn we he married her right didn't he uh that's what i heard yeah and he was a star yeah which was crazy because you you see him with what looks like a little kid uh-huh that's it look at that that looks like a little kid yeah his 13 year old bride wow i mean that is [ __ ] wild imagine being that poor little girl like all of a sudden she doesn't look unhappy jerry lee she's smiling in every picture well back then the attitudes were probably very different about whether or not that should be allowed do you think that's heard down there you think they stayed together all those years is that possible that looks like her wow does look like her wow it worked he was right damn so much for your theory
the truth well i don't know about that the troubling history of jerry lee lewis is the title of that article is that the same woman that can't be the same woman i bet he's got a type just keeps getting a new one oh no his seventh wife yeah oh jesus christ he renews his vows with his seventh wife wow is that recent is he alive click on that he renews his vows of the seventh wife 2021 wow that is wild imagine the checks he cuts every month to six other women they're probably all dead one of them died one of them died in suspicious ways one of them died yeah one of them was one of them she drowned like one of those deals wow yeah find that yeah one of them was uh i remember people like you know they used to call him the killer that was like his name oh right but i don't think it was because of that but then his fourth wife his fourth wife too much eleven drives a man insane yeah who knows what happened wow i mean that also you're married to jerry lee lewis you might be doing pills yeah you know and you might fall in the pool mm-hmm like who [ __ ] knows right i don't know yeah i think it's like uh it's like when you have those seven kids and one dies you have seven wives one of them's gonna die you're jerry lee lewis seven's a big number man [ __ ] yeah i met a dude the other day he was my age who's uh had he has three ex-wives he's currently married he's got three ex-wives i was like bro wow and he still believes in the institution he's a sucker wow he's a sucker does he have money did he have money uh he's not bad he's not doing bad yeah i wouldn't want to be in his position and and have three different women to pay alimony to i don't know how that
works though maybe they found new guys and maybe they you know because when a woman gets remarried generally speaking you don't have to pay her anymore you have to pay child support but the alimony supposedly ends as soon as a woman gets married the way i know this is because i have a buddy i've talked about him many times because it's one of the craziest stories that it drives me crazy um because he got divorced they didn't have any children they were married for i believe they were married for 12 years they've been divorced for more time than they were ever married he still pays her alimony they never had any children she lives in his old amazing house in the palisades this is [ __ ] spectacular houses gorgeous view she lives in that house with her boyfriend and she has to pretend the boyfriend doesn't live there so every time someone goes to inspect the boyfriend literally has to get a [ __ ] u-haul throw all his [ __ ] in it and drive down the street because they know when the inspection's gonna come yeah inspection comes they look around no guy lives here and then as soon as they leave he comes back unloads his [ __ ] back in the house and he'll never marry her because if he marries her the gravy train stops see your buddy is he's he's paying for the whole hundreds of thousands of dollars a year hundreds of thousand dollars a year and he's been doing it for 12 years yeah he's been no excuse me for 14 years he's been divorced for four this is 14 years a couple years ago so i might be off by a couple years but it's a long time yeah to be paying you know essentially he's paid millions in alimony to a woman who's completely capable of working he didn't like [ __ ] her so hard she can't work anymore yeah she's like a normal person like there's nothing wrong with her right she's a hundred percent capable like the relationship ran its course and it's over but because they were legally entangled in a marriage he's obligated to help her maintain her lifestyle in perpetuity so for the rest of her [ __ ] life until she gets married again he has to pay her alimony yeah which is wild yeah yeah and it works both ways we got a
friend who's a a woman who's a very successful corporate something where she makes you know million dollars a year and then she's got a husband who's a lawyer and he stopped working and uh before they got divorced he was out of work they got divorced she pays this [ __ ] tens of thousands of dollars every month and he tortures her and he refuses to work and it's like why would he work exactly if he starts working it just gets taken out of the money she'd be giving him california i think might be the worst place to get divorced that is wild that they do it that way yeah it's it's this is one area where i'm sexist i really am because i kind of get it from a girl's point of view because it's it makes more sense if it because women have had children and women raise the children and traditionally one of the things that goes along with alimony is the fact this woman is taking care of your kids yeah and child support it's all that all makes sense and the fact that if they didn't pursue a career yeah they had to take time off and they they supported you but a man who won't work and just leeches off of a successful strong woman yep who's got a very lucrative career that guy's useless he just plays video games all day no and then he gives her a hard time about the kids and like he moved out of state and he's it's it's it's ugly it's like who has the kids um i think one of them's in college now she had the kids and i don't think he was doing a lot of parenting but he was still getting money to parent yeah so she's taking care of her children and she's pissed yes i'm a sexist yeah in that regard i'm a sexist that guy if i was a judge and i could make the rules i'd be like you need to get your [ __ ] ass out and get a [ __ ] job dude right if you've got a law degree yeah and you're in a resume and you're not working that's on you that's just a scam yeah a guy doing that
an able-bodied man like there's no it's not like he she did something to him where he sued her and made a lot of money because she did something horrible and he won in civil court yeah no they just used to [ __ ] yeah she doesn't want to [ __ ] him anymore so she has to give him tens of thousands of dollars every month yeah oh yeah oh dude i'm so glad as i know you are to have met a woman that i know i will never divorce that i'll never i have friends that have gone through it and it it's crippling take three years of your life and just say okay i'm gonna be miserable because i'm gonna be dealing with lawyers and betrayal and that's the thing about my friend it was worse because he had to hire her lawyer he had to pay for her oh yeah my friend did too but it gets worse so she knew that she was going to divorce him so she went to all the best lawyers in town because once you visit with them they can't they can't represent the other exactly yeah so she planned this out yeah for a long period of time she did it over the course of months wow he [ __ ] with the wrong lady damn yeah it's it must be so amazing because like we've all had breakups and you start to see a side of a person that when you were with them you didn't see before and in marriage it's that times ten vengeance yeah this woman she got my buddy hard yeah and still still i mean she's she's [ __ ] sitting up getting her toes done right now eating bon bons yeah raking in the money doesn't have to do anything yeah never has to have a career never has to work never has to worry lives in a beautiful house no effort [ __ ] nothing doesn't even like the guy hasn't doesn't even have to be nice to him a person who you're not even nice to gives you hundreds of thousands of dollars a year right because you [ __ ] because you did it in a different decade yeah it's wild yeah i mean it's like it what's interesting like the gold digging the the idea of a gold digger it's an incredibly financially lucrative endeavor like if you're a woman and say if you could find some really crinkly
old dude and trick him and thinking you really love him how much times he got left what if you got some billionaire character like run some [ __ ] oil business and he's work you know like jay howard marshall and nicole yeah right like that kind of situation yeah that guy's worth a [ __ ] load of money and all you have to do is hang out with him for a very short amount of time and you get that money yep like if you're gonna run a business think about there's a lot of businesses that people run where they don't enjoy it at all you know they're in finance or they're in insurance sales or something they don't enjoy the business they're doing the business because it's successful it's a lucrative endeavor they figure out how to maximize their profits and how to make the best deals and you get together and strategize on how to conquer the segment of the marketplace and all that stuff but you're trying to make money that's all you're doing you're not creating art you're not enhancing people's existence right gold digging if you're a hot woman who's kind of aimless but you're manipulative there should be classes like where like classic gold diggers can tell you this is this is how i roped him in this is how i met him i had to play hard to get i did this i became friends with his wife you know and that was my way in and i knew eventually i'd be alone with him yeah like there's stories like that where you're like wow this is wild how this woman like slowly connived her way into this old rich guy's life and then tricked this dude into thinking that she loved him yeah because if you're like some [ __ ] 80 year old man and some really hot 40 year old is like i've always loved older men it's just like i don't care i mean for me it's just like older men just like there's so much more experience there's so much more knowledge and i love your spirit yes i mean you're just so wise and yeah my husband doesn't have sex with me anymore they start saying [ __ ] like that yeah and meanwhile you got kids that are just sitting on their asses waiting for the inheritance and you're like [ __ ] them oh my god
yeah that [ __ ] that is like the one of the things that women do when they want to put out that smell when they put that scent out for a guy they complain about how their boyfriend doesn't have sex yeah it is the number one move i was talking to a friend of mine about it once and it happened later that night literally happened later that night he had a friend and his friend came by with her friend and she was talking to him about how her boyfriend never had sex with her yeah and i was like she wants you to [ __ ] her i go this is what she's literally saying my friend was successful and she's literally putting this thing out there she's literally saying my boyfriend doesn't have sex anymore that's like there's an opening there's an opening i'm not happy yeah this you're trying to move now it's like here i'm moving the pawn here yeah oh look it's right in the line of your rook hmm let's see if you do that yeah all right yeah i mean it's nature i need to be fertilized i'm not being fertilized not just that it's like she just bet on the wrong horse yeah she's got this guy who's not [ __ ] her or she's bored with him or he either fight too much or or he's rude or or whatever yeah but that's what they say like you know maybe it's me i mean is there something wrong with me yeah he never wants to have sex with me like like i mean 15 20 minutes into the conversation this came up i was like this is [ __ ] hilarious because we were just talking about it did you know who it happened to who alexander hamilton really he was approached by this woman and uh she seduced him and she started having an affair with him she was married at the time when he was president no no hamilton was never president who's alexander hamilton hamilton was one of the founders of the constitution he's the he was never president no he should have been president everybody thinks he was president i thought he was president he wasn't president was he how many presidents you think you can name 20 20 tops maybe yeah there's been 46 yeah maybe 46 yeah this trump was 45.
yeah well how far back can you go trump obama i can go back to gerald ford nixon kennedy eisenhower roosevelt i'm lost there i'm lost when you get to me 1940s i'm lost yeah i think roosevelt is as far back as i can go yeah and then there's those ones from like the 1800s like who's that guy yeah yeah yeah so hamilton was never president so he was i don't think he was ever president but he was he was and i think the reason why is this woman had an affair with him and that [ __ ] shook him down and the husband was in on it and he was a guy i mean hamilton uh i don't know if he i read the book and uh he was you know the guy started out as a [ __ ] grew up poor in the caribbean and it made his way into law school through the patronage of people that were impressed by his intelligence and he was a hustler and then he was a soldier great [ __ ] soldier fought the british and then he was washington's like uh he was washington's what jamie is to you he was to george washington like a producer of his podcast yeah it only had one download because it was the [ __ ] internet back then yeah they they wrote it with a feather [Laughter] wow so a woman busted a move and she did it with her husband yeah he was aware of it and she kept shaking him down and then the couple shook him down together they shook him down because they were going to show that he was having an affair yeah wow maria reynolds there's no photos over is there a sketch uh there could be a painting let's see what year is this like seventeen hundred sure that means georgia early eighteen hundreds man that's wild yeah but that's a story as old as time yeah is the the conniving woman who is very attractive who cons an unattractive rich man into marrying her and then she divorces him and makes exorbitant amount of money well she looks like a scraper that was what she looked like i don't know is that a real photo she also knew that
he was a womanizer so she's the actress that plays that character in the play she knew he was vulnerable oh there's a play about it oh yeah though oh hamilton oh that's what hamilton's about oh duh yeah that's what that's about yeah i thought it was a rap it is it is so they made a rap is that like a hip-hop musical about a president who got seduced i don't know if he was pre i don't think he was ever president no i mean i'm sorry yeah hip-hop about a politician a founding father yeah alexander hamilton late secretary of treasury is fully refuted written by himself oh so he wrote charge of speculation which was a big thing is like the question was whether or not he should have written that whether or not by admitting to it and addressing it he would ruin his career and it turns out it was a mistake he ruined his career so he admitted that she and he had an affair and that ruined his career yeah here it goes uh the reynolds affair a daughter named susan born august 18th oh is that his did you have a kid with this girl i don't think so 1790 james reynold moved his family from new york to philadelphia summer of 1791 maria visited hamilton who was staying there she asked for help saying her abusive husband had abandoned there you go he's not [ __ ] me he's not [ __ ] me hamilton organized a meeting for later that evening to give mary the money code for i just want my nut that's what it says that's what i like everything else is like in this list is like so proper to the bottom line code for i just want my nut that's hilarious that's very funny wow that's interesting that's what they say my husband's so mean to me he doesn't have sex with me and he's mean to me oh that's terrible yeah you know i don't get along with my wife so well either i mean it's just like it's so funny how like people like us probably should have been together but we never will be it doesn't seem fair that we shouldn't be happy that we should be happy let's have coffee someday next thing you know judd's a millionaire
point it's just so easy to extract money from a vulnerable man if you're a beautiful woman and you are you know a [ __ ] sociopath if you're good at it like guys are vulnerable like a dorky dude there's like some guys like imagine a guy okay i'm not saying bill gates is a sucker i'm sure he's very smart he's too smart for this but if he was a guy like bill gates who's a kind of a nerdy dude who's worth a [ __ ] ton of money and some bombshell comes along and starts hanging out with him and brushing her tits against his arm when she's reaching for a pen you know like the standard moves becomes buddy buddy with them we just let's just go on a vacation together as friends we're friends just slowly yeah the payoff is so giant the payoff if you could become mrs gates oh good lord because even if you get a prenup it's probably pretty [ __ ] generous yeah right what's a million to this guy plus if you prove he cheated during the marriage i think he can get rid of the prenup i think he cheated on didn't he cheat on melinda all those years they get a long they get a long-term affair like a previous girlfriend that he never really broke up with there was a thing they had like an agreement where he'd have one weekend a year ago oh right right yeah i think they actually had an agreement but whatever i'm not interested in their life but i'm interested in people getting robbed yeah i'm interested in that i think it's fascinating yeah that the the fact that like women are so much more desirable than men are in that regard like it's so much easier to con a man into marrying you even though he potentially could lose exorbitant amounts of money i feel like women are less vulnerable in that way like a woman with a broke guy who wants to marry her she's going to be super skeptical she's like really really rich i think it goes both ways i think it takes a personality that is like you said like you don't think you just you don't think you deserve good dick or good [ __ ] and all of a sudden it comes to you but it's way more
common with the woman doing it to the man well men more likely have the money yeah yeah but it's also as a scam it's more common way more common to have like a hot young woman connive and trick some old man into marrying her rich old man and she won't have to worry right yeah that's uh cheating side of town that's the eagle song wikipedia article about this it says that at that time period the uh common practice was for the men who admit the wrong husband to seek a duel as retribution oh they didn't do that because he was of a lower social status and realized he could get blackmail money extortion oh so he got the blackmail money instead of a duel yeah and then yeah well he probably didn't want the duel because he just wanted the money because he let his wife [ __ ] because they got 1300 at the end of the 1300 yeah so much that's how much he had to pay out yeah which wow i don't know doesn't seem like a lot that's a weekend at the tree house in danbury connecticut and you're not getting bonuses no bonuses and we're taking it and we're going to take a taste of the merch just let me wet my beak on those cds did they give you a taste of the merch do you have to give a taste of the merch to a club ever so casinos do that oh do they really yeah if you sell merch at a casino they'll take like 20 percent interesting yeah interesting do you do casinos often once in a while i'm doing one in massachusetts next month oh yeah what do you do wayneville or something plainville massachusetts no kidding yeah i got a bunch of time hitting the road hard right now yeah the next like five weeks i'm gone nice i was every weekend that one of those deals uh pretty much every weekend for like six weekends nice coming up yeah nice it's it was i went out from december till february it was light i would i mean you don't have to worry about i'm sure you
sell out wherever you go but i was finding like people were like the um the the abercrombie and finch virus came out people were like hanging back a little bit and now they're finally starting to come back like last month people started coming out again well the whole world's economy has to kind of like fall back into place yeah and for so many people the the hit was huge yeah so many people lost businesses right so many people lost all their income so many people and then what's it what's fascinating to me is my friends who run restaurants are telling me how hard it is to find workers i don't get the math on this where did all the workers go and how are they affording to live yeah i mean i get while unemployment was running around there was an issue because like one of my friends said that he had this guy was a bartender that used to work for him and he wanted to hire him back again but the guy said i could only work 20 hours a week right he goes why he goes because that way i get unemployment so he because of the free money from the government this guy was willing to he said i'm not going to give up this free money yeah which is crazy because he could have made more money in an honest way by actually working all the time right he's like nah i'll just take that free money yeah this runs out and part of it is like people are exploring different lifestyles now i think the i think that the pandemic made people stop and go like oh what do i really want to do with my life yeah and now they're coming out of it and they're saying do i want to be exploited by a shitty job or do i want to you know get some unemployment and [ __ ] sketch for another month or two yeah i think that's the best aspect of the pandemic was the fact that it made people sort of recalibrate what's important in their life what to do with their their time yeah that made people think like you know someone who maybe wanted to pursue some sort of artistic endeavor and they got to do it you know and get it going during the pandemic and then when it's over they just said let's go for it yeah try to make it right right i mean that's some that's a good thing if you could do that i mean
so many people played it safe in their life and got these jobs that paid the bills but they lived in misery yeah and they always wanted to do this other thing yeah whatever that other thing was so if that happened with some folks that's probably the best thing that happened from the pandemic yeah it'll be interesting to see if like you know there it was like after after the uh depression you know this economy got really strong for a while roaring 20s yeah and now it's going to be like you're going to see new business because there's lower overhead people aren't expected to take office space like they used to there's a lot of ways you can communicate telecommunicate rather than have to fly to a place for a conference and so small businesses are going to be able to launch new ideas well actually the roaring 20s were after the pandemic of the spanish flu right right right when was the when did the recession start it was after the roaring 20s right wasn't it the depression started like 1930 i guess was it right around 1930 yeah so that was when people were talking about the roaring 20s of 2020 that that was going to be a response to the pandemic that the being locked down for two years is going to make people seek as much freedom as possible post you know 2020 which is kind of true with some people some people are like we're saying like pursuing jobs that they maybe didn't think they could pursue before right or some sort of an artistic path of life which and i think streamlining their lives and realizing they don't need to eat out three nights a week and they don't need to take a trip to disneyland and instead they start to do things that are cheaper and simpler and they don't need as much income yeah and also you know the working from home thing changed a lot of people too because they're like there's been many people that have said they're more productive they're happier and it's it's easier to work from home all you really need is an internet connection a computer you know how often do you need to
physically be in an office for your job what jobs require you to be physically in your office you know well there is something to be said for the water cooler talk that there is like ideas pollinate cross-pollinate in an office where you're working on a project he's working on a project you realize that there's something symbiotic that can happen between you and so i think that physical brushing up against each other depending on the company is useful but if you're doing pure sales right you know you may be able to just do that from home without having to waste two hours a day commuting and then the amount of meetings that get called just because people [ __ ] call meetings because they can and they waste your time and you're not doing those yeah there's a lot of people that are pushing back against coming back to the office and they're angry about it you know yeah and it's funny because you weren't angry about it two years ago like it was normal but now the idea of going back to the old ways pisses you off because you don't want to commute you don't want to be stuck in traffic and waste all that time but i see both points i see that there could be probably some jobs where you benefit from being there physically but i could also see where if you're a disciplined person and you're productive at home the problem is like how many guys are beating off in front of their [ __ ] camera during zoom right how many guys got busted how many guys from the new yorker yeah tuban how many was it new york times uh new yorker how many people like there was a lot of guys got caught doing that though yeah wasn't just that guy yeah a lot of guys got caught jerking off it's like how many guys just jerk off all the debt when they're at home you know it begs the question like what is productivity like how are you like how are you measuring productivity what you know how much discipline do you think people really have when you just leave them at home with their computer i
remember louis said something about the way he writes that he writes on a computer that's not connected to the internet because he doesn't want to be distracted yeah that's smart this is smart yeah no they they have programs now for your computer that do that for you writing programs that keep you off the internet and uh what's it called there's a few of them i can't i can't remember what it's called but a lot of professional writers use them makes sense because it's so easy to just go oh let's check twitter twitter real quick yep oh let's see what the news is maybe i'll find some interesting story in the news you never do i have this app it's a it's called pomodoro technique have you ever heard of that no you do 20 minutes you it's got a tie it's very simple it's a timer on your phone and after 20 minutes or 25 minutes you can set it it goes off and then you have five minutes to check your emails to do wordle whatever the [ __ ] you want to do for five minutes and then you start the next 20 minute period i swear to god i have 80d and it [ __ ] works for me man i get so much [ __ ] done when i do the pomodoro technique because if you just sit down in front of a computer and just try to write you get distracted i have to i react you know a text pops up and your your agent says i need a [ __ ] head shot for whatever yeah because it's the 1970s that i live in and uh but like you know [ __ ] comes up you got to change your travel whatever and and if i and i find that in that ten minute period that are the five or ten minutes that i take off i get so much done yeah i just um i write um well you write late at night right yeah i write when everyone's asleep yeah i very well i do get a lot of degenerates to text me though oh like kurt metzger he's one of those guys would text you at four o'clock in the morning yeah like comics will text you at any time so i put my phone on silent you know so that do not disturb and then i most of the time i've been writing on a windows computer so texts don't pop up oh really it's like imessages don't pop up yeah yeah i do it for a bunch of reasons but mostly i do it for the keyboard i have a
thinkpad and the keyboard's just so much better than anything that apple makes oh my god the difference is so huge yeah it's so huge in the ease of typing and uh accuracy like how much more accurate i am with like a macbook they have those flat keys and the think pad the keys have like a little c shape to them so your fingers fit in them you know which key you're always on yeah and there's travel the keys have travel to them like the travels the distance the keyboard travel is gigantic you mean spaces between the keys the amount of space it takes to press a key down okay the shorter the travel keyboard travel the less accurate you'll be okay the more keyboard travel it is the more your finger knows it's registering you're pressing it and then you get into a rhythm of where everything is and and it's effortless typing is so much better yeah i've been typing on a think pad for like five or six years for that very reason i've had think pads because their keyboards are just the best there's no there's [ __ ] no comparison unless you unless you use an external keyboard you can buy an external keyboard like a mechanical keyboard there's a lot of great mechanical like great external keyboards where they have a lot of key travel so if you buy one of those like ergonomic things like there's a lot of key travel in those like there's a distance like the standard distance i think with the new macbooks it's probably like i'm gonna guess like one millimeter 1.2 millimeters with a thinkpad you can get 1.82 millimeters like that's that seems like no big deal but it's a giant deal it's a giant deal i can see that i can remember [ __ ] you say old i am typewriters man where you really had to [ __ ] depress that thing and there was a there was a motion with your fingers it was a very conscious striking yep and i can see like uh i i know there's probably old newspaper guys that's still right on typewriters well you know andy rooney was still writing on a typewriter till the end probably he's just complaining yeah that's all we're all doing right yeah um but do you take the thinkpad on
the road with you yes yeah or i'll take a macbook i have an old macbook from 2015. yeah they had better keyboards back then right 2015 still wasn't as good as the thinkpad but far superior to my modern macbook i have a modern macbook and it's like flat there's no feel to it yeah you i want to [ __ ] also like i have like a x1 carbon it's like super light it weighs nothing it's [ __ ] waterproof you could spill water on it and it's mil-spec so you could drop it off a [ __ ] countertop it doesn't break they made they think pads are [ __ ] durable as [ __ ] yeah it's the like you get trapped into the mac ecosystem which i most certainly am with some stuff you know like iphotos and all that kind of jazz and there's there's benefits to that but there's also a lot of benefits to not being on that nipple you know and the big one is that you have access to different hardware like all your hardware if you have an apple essentially is controlled by apple except external stuff like usb keyboards and things along those lines wireless keyboards bluetooth keyboards but for the most part most people probably just use the keyboard if you buy an imac use the keyboard that comes with it the little [ __ ] white keyboard the clickety-clackity-click yeah terrible yeah the experience of typing on those is not good you want a [ __ ] keyboard where your hands sit there and you and you press keys and you feel and then you get into that rhythm and it just you can think and type and it just comes out so much smoother they've done studies that show that people that have like more keyboard travel and they've like tested their amount of errors and how many words they can type per minute and it's higher it's higher when you have more travel yeah there's something it should be a visceral experience like like some people still write on you know like seinfeld famously still writes on yellow legal pads and there's something about the speed that you can write maybe help it think more yeah you think maybe a little bit more deliberately and
a little more slowly and so the words you're putting down might be a better version of the joke than if you were typing really fast i could see that yeah maybe sometimes i sometimes i write stuff out by hand and i do feel like you all see the alternative comics they've always got a [ __ ] moleskine notebook with their new jokes in it i think yeah but what if you want to edit that like for me i'm constantly taking you know i'll have a set list and then i'll take a chunk from that i'll move it and and then by the end of the month it's a nightmare because i've got five different documents that have similar material in it and i don't know which is the most recent version of the bid so i still after all these years don't have an exact process that gets me to that one hour where i've got the one hour of material in one document that's that's all up to date one of the things that i was using that i haven't used lately but i was using it when i was preparing for my last special and maybe even the special before that was scrivener scrivener is um it's a word processing software that allows you to put things you put things in these little side column like these categories of topics so they use it a lot of guys use it for book writing and it also does this too it has like it's just like notepads yeah it has this feature which is you have these index cards that you can put up on a cork board like that which is kind of interesting but besides that there's also this option to have these separate word files so what i would do is i would write something on uh microsoft word and then i would copy and paste it into shrivener because scrivener like there's benefits to microsoft word that i really like one of them is focus mode which i used to use right room for do you know what right room is no write room is a software for mac when i used to write exclusively on macs and it's cool because it allows you to have a black screen where you don't have access to your email or anything nothing nothing's there it's just this until you exit out of the program and you get a black screen with green text
that's what it looks like oh and i like that i used to like to write on that but then microsoft word realized that they were probably losing out on people doing that instead of using words so they came up with focus mode so focus mode is you just press that and all you see is the screen goes black and all you see is white text on a black screen which i like yeah i like writing like that because it just to me it just it works better or you know black screen white screen and black ink i remember which way i use it but um how do i use it i think i use a black screen with white ink you could obviously switch it up yeah do whatever you want in terms of like the color of the screen but then i would um copy and paste that and then i would put that into um scrivener and so i'd have like here's a subject like chewing gum that'd be a subject i put that and it's in a column and i can click on it and then i can move that column down or up so with my opening bit is here and then i would do this but i said oh but i've been doing this bit about kangaroos instead of the gum bits i'll swap them and so i could move them so anytime i would open up scrivener i would have my set list on the left hand column and each individual bit i'd have written out so which helps me a lot because when i i used to just have like bullet points but sometimes i'd forget tags so i started just would help me just to memorize stuff i'd write out the whole bit mm-hmm and then i have words for word yeah as much as i can really yeah and then i have a separate notebook notebook where i write in and that's from memory so when i would do shows i would write things down separate yes and i'd write most of it down most of like the important parts of the joke i'd write down then i moved to index cards so when i do like an arena i have index cards in my green room so i'll get there an hour plus before the show and i sit down with a sharpie and index cards and i write out all my bits that i'm going to do like bullet points at that point bullet points and some bits that are new that
i'm not sure exactly how they go i write it all out do you are you looking at it on stage or that's just the process of writing it etches in your memory it etches it into my memory okay i don't look at anything when i'm on stage but that process really does work there's something about physically writing something pen to paper absolutely yep right it does something weird yep definitely it's amazing because i see guys like a tell who's always got new [ __ ] and chris rock i saw chris rock put his last one hour together coming into the comedy store never had a piece of paper i saw him with a piece of paper the other day oh you did a notebook chris rock went on stage i saw him the day before the oscars murdering yeah murdering yeah he was killing killing killing old school chris rock it was like because he's he's had some sets in the store where he's working stuff out where he's he's not killing he's trying to find the beats and he doesn't care if he doesn't go well he's confident enough that he's chris rock he could just kind of [ __ ] around but god damn was he killing killing yeah he went up i was on stage one night and then you know at the uh or they'll hand you a piece of paper sometimes because there's a guest that wasn't on the schedule and i opened it up and it was um uh what's his name uh the short comic black guy kevin hart kevin hart jesus christ dare you let me say two in so so he comes up and he [ __ ] kills he does great and and then and then he goes and now chris rock and i was like oh this can be tough to follow he made kevin hart look like an open miker he destroyed right after that wow yeah it was recent yeah this was just a few weeks ago yeah he's on fire right now chris is hot yeah and his tickets are selling now they're selling yeah [ __ ] hotcakes isn't it weird that the scandal like that does something to ticket sales yeah like if it's also like people want to hear his take on it but he's been telling people like hey if you came here to hear me talk about that i'm not
talking about that mm-hmm which is interesting because he's going to talk about it eventually i'm sure i bet you he's you know chris is famous for having writers he has guys that help him out and i know those guys are all sitting at their their [ __ ] keyboards right now well the real question is how hard you want to go well it's also a moving target because you see how people have felt about will smith it's been a week and a half and now you've seen people are more upset with them now than they were so jokes that he would write right now might not match the mood in a week do you think people are more upset with will smith now it feels like it i feel like for two days after the oscars it was kind of like people people don't have their own opinions they wait to hear other opinions in the media and then they pick one and they hadn't heard other opinions yet and the new ones that came out were mostly anti-will smith ah that's interesting that's an interesting perspective because i saw a lot of hot takes after the oscars where i was like it is amazing to me how many dummies think that will smith was justified yeah for assaulting a guy for the most mild joke ever yeah it was amazing to me you don't talk [ __ ] about a man's wife like well good because he didn't definitely didn't he said gi jane two can't wait that's it if that's your borderline for assault we live in a barbaric society if that's where you draw the line because now we're going to have chaos in the street and i was talking about on stage i was like there's a difference between someone saying that at a party like if someone said oh so some guy comes up to me and he says to my wife g.i jane two can't wait i'm like okay how did he say it like how did he say it maybe the guy was hilarious maybe he's like this like happy go lucky like life of the party guy he goes hey gij dude can't wait and everyone's laughing or maybe he's like hey gi jane too can't wait like [ __ ] that guy yeah like that guy needs to get
smacked right like who how is he saying it and if you watch how chris says it big giant smile on his face jada love you he says i love you and then he says that mm-hmm i love you yeah here's a mild joke about a powerful woman and you know that's his job he's supposed to look at what ricky gervais has said about people at the golden globes i mean he has gone hard he's a savage and you know chris rock went up and he serviced the front row that's part of your job as the host of the oscars you used to be jack nicholas and jack nicholson you would always talk to and you know and then you know that's what will smith is hollywood royalty you got to say something he really it really is what we talked about earlier it's a jester getting smacked by royalties yeah right wild yeah it's wild but that royalty doesn't seem the same because of the internet because of the exposing of the way they think and behave like like here's a good example like alec baldwin shooting that woman on set and then there's video of him talking about it openly like days later on the side of a highway like they got a camera in his face like it's a terrible tragedy and he's out there he's not even talking like [ __ ] regular reporters it's people with phones and he's he's giving his take on these things like i mean maybe it was reporters but it's like it's very unofficial the way everything's it's not a press conference it's not and then he'll go do a podcast and talk about it you know his wife has a podcast and everybody's just talking it's like all of the mystery of like what a movie star is is gone yeah when you hear their goofy takes on things like um when people have like these hot takes on politics and you know you listen to an actor talking [ __ ] man shut the [ __ ] up don't do this man like you're gonna ruin your career you're an idiot like the way you're talking about politics is terrible like just go play the hulk be the hulk be the guy who turns into the hulk yeah don't don't be this [ __ ] guy who's chiming in on every
aspect of you know what what the senate is [ __ ] weighing in on stop yeah you're not good enough at this that requires a lot of education a lot of understanding a deep knowledge a deep pool of knowledge about how this whole system works and an exposure to people outside of the world you live in right and it takes and that's why comedians i think often do have the voice of the country more than most people because we are going from town to town and interacting with people from different economic sectors and regional air you know regional diversities and so for me it feels like if you're an actor who's sitting in a mansion and you're on set you know what it's like to be on set everyone's getting your cappuccino for you everybody's telling you what a great job you're doing people don't continue working in films because they're great artists they like having their ass kissed all [ __ ] day it's a great feeling i mean me and stanhope just did this movie and it was a super low budget movie we were not treated like kings but asses were kissed and it felt [ __ ] great and i said i want to do more of this i want to be the center of attention in front of a bunch of people that are their job is to make you feel good i mean that's what how the and then you're going to have an opinion about you know the economy but the thing is it's intoxicating and you think that you deserve that opinion yeah you you are an important person you do need to weigh in like i remember they interviewed sharon stone and she was weighing in on an earthquake in china and she said that maybe it's karma because the way they treat my friend the dalai lama no yes yeah that's amazing yeah she's like i'm friends with the dalai lama maybe it's karma and the way they treat tibet like that's one of the dumbest things a person has ever said like maybe an earthquake which killed who knows how many thousands of people who are subjects to this [ __ ] communist regime totalitarian regime stone earthquake in china was karma for
tibet yeah sharon stone facing a ban on the showing of her films in china after suggesting that the recent earthquake that killed up to 67 000 people damn may have been the result of bad comma over the country's occupation of tibet no look if the [ __ ] head of the ccp if an asteroid hit him in the [ __ ] head like maybe that's karma yeah like maybe while he's writing something down to impose new sanctions on tibet yeah but that the the fact that someone who's a grown adult would actually say that while being interviewed like maybe it's karma yeah the senator that pushed through that don't say gay thing in florida his house was was taken out by a tornado or something and then afterwards there was a photo taken and there was a rainbow it was a rainbow where his house used to be that's hilarious it's hilarious that gay people own the rainbow that used to be owned by leprechauns i know it's [ __ ] funny man i used to have a whole bit about it because of the duck dynasty guy the duck dynasty guy was um coming after uh gay people and saying i don't get it i don't get it i'm like i don't understand it and i was like well there's a lot of things i don't understand i gotta understand yellow cars like i don't [ __ ] go freaking out about it and i was like he better be nice to gay people and the joke was that or you know look what they did with the rainbow like they [ __ ] own the rainbow i thought they could do that to camo because he's a duck dynasty i go if they did all gay porns from now on in a duck blind like all all gay porns start out with two dudes duck hunting one guy goes on something about duck hunting make me horny and then this white dude in handcuffs drops down to his knees and starts sucking this guy's dick and they just everything's in camo how many of those would they have to do before people associated camo with gay before they owned it they would just take over camo guys would shoot less animals because they wouldn't wear camo they would start striking out more and hunt
because gay folks own the [ __ ] rainbow as you're coming you put one of those duck whistles in your mouth as you're nutting the [ __ ] the rainbow's a weird one right because it's like it used to be leprechauns pot of gold how did it become gay like how that thing that happens after it rains and the sun comes out how did that get associated with gay folks well maybe it's that we're all in a spectrum that the whole spectrum comes together and we have unity and uh i'd like to know the actual answer i wonder what the actual answer is like how did gay people become associated with rainbows let's find that out it's probably something jamie's getting a workout today [ __ ] lbgtiaq plus what's a plot what's the plus for um i think you pay extra for that it's like five bucks actually some guy talking about lbgt whatever whatever whatever i saw that and he added a plus on to it dude there's another letter in there now too i right i think is that inquisitive open for business i'll [ __ ] anybody i as i'll [ __ ] anybody that's pansexual they call that p i heard this woman saying she has two children and one of them is pant pansexual i'm like how do you know how old are your kids pandas you can be attracted to a man or a woman yeah hi what she's talking about queer her queer children and she looks like she's in her 40s and like how old are your kids how old is this kid that you're saying is pansexual because if you're talking about an eight-year-old i'm a little upset with you what are you saying yeah you're saying my kids are pansexual see my 20 year old kid is pansexual like okay your kid's a freak yeah you know like that's a weird one right because that just seems like what you like as opposed to like like there's gay people that are just that's their sexual orientation they're attracted gay people or what you're curious about yeah but when you're not you're saying you're not even bi you're pan you just need a lot of attention oh here it is uh yeah had harvey milk
had uh something to do with it they had a pink triangle was the big symbol before that but that's right also used by the nazis what the nazis used a pink triangle to identify and stigmatize men identif confirmed as homosexuality oh wow i did not know that gates guys in concentration camps they used that wow that's wild i didn't know that then it picked up after he died after he was assassinated when harvey milk was assassinated in 78 it says the demand for the rainbow flag greatly increased and it started selling so it was harvey milk that sort of started it going well it says up there this guy baker said he chose the motif of because of its association with the hippie movement of the 60s but that the use of the design dates all the way back to ancient egypt um the use of the rainbow design for gay people oh judy garland singing somewhere over the rain oh and they love judy garland i love judy garland [Music] remember once a year letterman would bring that singer into sing somewhere over the rainbow really and he would cry or he would get on the edge of tears yeah every once a year he brought the same guy in for [ __ ] 20 years and he just sang somewhere over the rainbow and he would get on the edge of tears i wonder why i don't know reminded him of some something in his childhood mandy patinkin is that who sang it yeah oh wow manny patek is an odd duck right he was on that homeland yeah he was playing the cia guy yeah great yeah it was great here give me some highway to be found leading from your window to a place behind the sun okay i'm good [Laughter] you see i'm lis i'm missing the gene that enjoys the grateful dead and musicals yeah gene just i don't have that yeah it's like cilantro to some people it tastes like so me it tastes good yep so nothing you
hear the dead you don't feel groovy i just go what is happening yeah yeah what is happening here i don't get it yeah it just doesn't do it for me all right i get people love it but there's a lot of [ __ ] people love that i just don't understand yeah i get like that with uh um a lot of hip-hop to me i just i don't connect to there's some i think is great mumble rap doesn't do it yeah yeah i don't understand that but i i love like lyrical hip-hop yes i like like i'm for whatever reason i'm a 1990s hip-hop fan if i listen to a wu-tang clown like i get it yeah gravel pit yeah listen to some old stuff you know i like stuff where i go oh i love how he put that line together you know it's clever it's fun you know right yeah but the dead i i grew up with the dead we went to a lot of shows when i was a kid and took a lot of mushrooms and i we just went to halloween we went to the hollywood bowl and went to a show and took mushrooms like it was like 15 of us we had a blast well they say that the dead is only understood when you do acid for some people uh-huh which maybe that's my problem because there are songs that i like there's um there's a thing called eco-rose ikaros are these uh south american songs that they play when you're doing dmt oh really yeah when you take in ayahuasca or you're smoking dmt they play these songs and when you listen to these songs these hallucinogens they sync up with the music so the the visions that you have sync up with the music and you watch like these entities dance to the beat of the music like completely in tune with it they synchronize together it's really wild wow and if you just heard the songs like i've got some on my phone if you just heard the ikaros without that you would not be impressed you'd be like it's like watching a 3d movie without the glasses on yeah here it is [Music] so these are the songs they play like when you're in the jungle and it's kicking in so this is this guy and one of the things they do is they blow tobacco in your face too and they've got these rattles and
[Music] and i've listened to these [Music] this has got don robert i've listened to these while on dmt and it's very wild because like the entities i mean whatever's happening whatever that hallucinogen hallucination actually is is up to debate we really don't know what that is but it seems like these things are alive and they are moving to the beat of this sound and it seems like they're not just like willingly they're joyfully moving to the beat of the sound like they work together like it didn't it enhances the experience in a way that there's no like i've listened to music when you're high on pot it sounds better like like if you listen to comfortably numb where you've had a a couple of hits of a joint you're like wow yeah hello is there anybody in there there'll be no more wow you might feel a little sick and it's like you like you get trapped in the music it's like it it enhances it you go with it this is different this is like whatever those hallucinations are when you're on dmt they belong with that music the music they they they don't deviate from the music they stay in the music and it's spectacular it's really wild to have that with the the song it seems like whoever constructed those songs knows this that's what's wild about the ecoroles because they're very specific in the kind of way they do it is it ancient to music that's a good question i mean the practice is ancient the the shamanistic practice of the ayahuasca ceremony is ancient but like a lot of these ancient things it gets tainted by modernity you know because like different people give their own interpretations of it and different people have their own ways of doing it and they don't even know how people even figured out how to make it you know the the history of of ayahuasca use is thousands of years old and they don't have any idea how these people figure this out because it's a complicated pharmacological sort of a
situation you're taking one plant that makes dimethyltryptamine and then you're taking another plant and combining it with it this in this plant has an mao inhibitor which is monoamine oxidase so monoamine oxidase is something that's produced by your gut and when you orally take dmt the monoamine oxidase it destroys the effect of dmt and the thought behind that is there's a lot of things that people eat that have naturally occurring dimethyltryptamine and there's a lot of grasses and a lot of different plants dmt is very common it exists in thousands of plants and animals and so if you were just eating these things you'd be tripping balls all the time this is the thought behind it and that your gut produces monoamine oxidase so when you take an mao inhibitor and you mix it with dimethyltryptamine then you have orally active dmt which generally speaking doesn't exist other than that when you get dmt from a smokable form then it goes straight to your blood and then you the effect is almost instantaneous when you smoke dmt 15 20 seconds later you're in the center of the universe for how long about 15 minutes i would say like fully tripping balls for about 15 minutes and then the next five you're like trying to figure out what the [ __ ] just happened but sometimes you go right back in sometimes you grab the pipe and go right back in oh you do i've done that i've i've gone back in three and four times so then you're dealing with an experience that takes you know hour and a half but that's unusual most people just do it once well you do it you're so blown away by what the [ __ ] did you just happen a lot of times people just want to stop and think about it but i've done it a lot so for me when i when i've done it and i i come out i'm like i like to go back in there and hang out i was just starting to figure some things out with these fellas and can you pick up where you left off when you go back in no you have no control yeah you have no idea what it even is and whatever it is it's different a second later do you write [ __ ] down you like journal while you're no it's too complicated it's too
complicated to it takes the other thing about it is it slips through your fingers so quickly it is like a dream you know how you wake up from a dream and you're like oh my god it was you and me and mike and we were flying around on a giant seagull and the giant seagull took us over the ocean and mike was like oh i see a skateboard it's free i'm going to jump off and get it and you're like no that's too far to the ocean i was trying to talk him into not jumping off the you asked that same person like five minutes later what was that dream again you'd be like oh [ __ ] how did it go something about dreams when you wake up they're very vivid and specific but within five ten minutes that very vivid specific memory goes away metaphors that your that your brain is trying to show you in a dream yeah who knows i mean i think it depends i think sometimes i've had dreams before where i was talking to dead friends and i was always always wondering i had a dream once where i was having a long conversation with phil hartman and it was after he was murdered and then phil hartman was explaining to me that he and his wife worked it out you know and that uh you know like oh you know who's like laughing about it in the way like phil hartman was oh she gets a little she gets a little upset you know she's a little volatile like joking around and he sat down on like a lawn chair i'll never forget this he sat on like like a you know little those little lawn chairs foldable lawn chairs he sat down at neat he was like in the grass a little funny so as he sat down he leaned to one side and he fell over and as he fell over he hit the grass and then he was gone and then i realized it was a dream and then i woke up i'm like what is that trying to tell me maybe he was trying to tell me i miss my friend he was trying to tell me he fell i mean i don't know what he's trying to tell me because then he was gone it was me recognizing that this is just i have this wish to talk to him again that i'll never be able to talk to him because he was murdered during our break
like of the the you know so you you film and then you have three months off and then you go back and film for another season so during the break is when he was murdered i never got a chance to see him and um when he died it's just like he i know he died everybody told me he died we all got together and cried we all talked about it we were all blown away by it but i didn't see him so it's like all of a sudden he's gone so there's like this missing thing in my head like this missing connection this missing so maybe that's why i had that dream i don't know why you have dreams but they do know that the psychedelic chemicals that you release while you're in heavy rem sleep they think are very closely related to the same psychedelic chemicals you have when you trip so it puts you in into a dream physically into a dream state it's very similar yeah because your brain is producing psychedelic chemicals during heavy rem sleep they just don't know like exactly how much or it's complicated because in order to find out that like there was always like anecdotal evidence that the pineal gland produced dmt they know that the pineal gland now they know it produces dmt but there was guesswork before they knew that it's produced in the human body they know it's produced by the liver and they know it's produced by the lungs but they didn't know if it was produced by the pineal gland until the cottonwood research foundation which is a a foundation that's run by these folks in i think it's in new mexico and um rick strassman who's the guy who wrote dmt the spirit molecule he's uh is a scholar who was the first guy to get fda approval to do dimethyltryptamine studies with people and so he did these studies with people and um that's like one of the things that they were working on how long ago was that not that long ago it was in the last 20 years or so i think the book probably came out
2002. it doesn't uh it's either i got a study and from 2018 i think it's talking about something from 2011. 2011 was when they found out that dmt was produced by the pineal gland for sure so this this cottonwood research foundation which strassman works with they did these studies with rats and rats are allowed to cut their heads open and [ __ ] just stick probes in them while they're alive and they found out that rats pineal glands actually do produce dmt so they've proven it at least in these mammals and they also know that so it exists in nature in different grasses and seeds and whatever but then it also is produced the same chemical is also produced by different organs in your body it's produced by the organ that is literally the third eye your pineal gland in some reptiles it actually has a retina and a lens no [ __ ] yes really yeah it is an eyeball it's like that whole thing of the eastern mysticism is and is it located yes in between your foreheads right back there let's go there and also like you know the eye of horus from the egyptian hieroglyphs see that it looks like the pineal gland like look at where the eye of horus is or the eye of raw excuse me the io horse was the different god the eye of ra if you look at that and look at the cross section of the human brain in relation to the pineal gland where the eyeball is in the eye of raw is exactly what the pineal gland looks like in a cross-section of the human brain so this third eye that everybody always equates with enlightenment right and you know you look at buddhas they have third eyes like that buddha right there's a third eye that little buddha on my counter these this is literally the area where your brain produces this psychedelic chemical dmt that's amazing it's wild [ __ ] damn yeah so if they can figure out how to extract that from your brain they can use it i mean it seems like there would be therapeutic uses for this for dmt to open people up to sure it seems like your brain is almost triggering you to feel certain emotions like if you had feelings about phil hartman that were
unresolved that it is basically activating parts of your brain that will let you emotionally deal with that when you're ready when you certainly could be certainly could be and then there's also like traps of thinking that i'm sure uh they get exposed by these psychedelic chemicals like nightmares these are traps things your pitfalls of thinking things you're thinking about that are like [ __ ] with you that you know your brain explores while you're under the influence of whatever these dream chemicals are because dreams are very confusing to people we don't exactly know what the reason for them is you know but we do know that your brain produces these chemicals and we also they also think that your brain probably produces these chemicals when it thinks your body's dying and they think that's responsible for near-death experiences seeing the light and all that yeah and the hallucinations that come with it like i went to heaven i talked to god like you might just be tripping balls you know and also tripping balls might actually be a chemical doorway to another dimension like the idea of this realm that we have our physical bodies in being the only thing that ever exists well if you talk to those string theorists those people that understand quantum theory and that like debate whether or not there's 11 dimensions or 12 dimensions like they think there's many more dimensions outside of the ones that we have senses to detect and that might be what you encounter when you're encountering these incredibly potent psychedelic drugs but the fact that the most incredibly potent and most hallucinogenic psychedelic drugs are closely related to normal human neurochemistry is really wise yeah that is pretty cool dmt is the most potent psychedelic drug known to man and it's closely related to human neurochemistry in fact your brain produces the actual drug that trips that makes you trip balls the actual drug i think your brain even produces 5-methoxy dmt i think your brain see if that's true i think your brain which is even more potent five methoxy which five meow dmt is even more potent
than a regular dmt in terms of like you know the impact per gram of the stuff wow yeah i had a dream once i have dreams i have very vivid dreams and i woke up one morning like woke up from the dream and the dream was that i was in like a bay near an ocean and then a giant wave came up and it picked me up and it carried me and it threw me and i woke up in the middle of it and i was like shaking and my wife woke up and i said i just had this [ __ ] i told her the crazy dream went on the internet and that was when that crazy tsunami had hit in thailand isn't that [ __ ] weird that is weird you believe this you think i could could have broken through it could be coincidence yeah always have to say that or it could be you sense something like maybe there is some sort of a connection when so many people die it's a tragedy and it's uh just this is like it's like a ripple a ripple yeah there's this guy uh rupert sheldrake and he had this uh this concept um it's called morphic resonance and the concept is based on the idea that all beings share some kind of a uh an accessible database and what he used as proof of this and it's it's a you know not really even proof it's very theoretical but one thing that they showed was that rats make sure this is true too that well i'll give you a chance get the dmt thing first but rats when they would show them a maze on the east coast the ma the rats in the west coast i remember hearing this yeah yeah they would be able to solve the maze quicker more residence morphic resonance and this idea was that there's some unseen connection that all these beings and whether it's cross species i don't know but he was he was definitely saying within a particular species is what he was trying to describe it as but the theory extends
further than that this theory sort of extends to the idea that there's all these thoughts and consciousness and then when people are developing similar inventions completely unrelated to each other that it's not as simple as two people solving the same puzzle because they have the same tools and the same idea because they're a human being it might not be that simple it might be more that there's so many people working on a thing that it kind of permeates the collective human consciousness and different people pick up that baton and run with it and they might be both doing it at the same time but oftentimes when a great breakthrough experiment is taking place there were other people working on the exact same experiment somewhere else and they don't know if this is again purely by coincidence and chance and that this is uh something that is needed and that all these sort of technologies they build up with each other and they feed off of each other and then it kind of like naturally progresses to the cell phone naturally progresses to wi-fi whatever it is but it might not be it it might be something it might be that as well it might be that plus we all share some sort of a cosmic database and that we all share some sort of connection and consciousness that we are not fully aware of and we're not we can't measure it so we're not sure if it's real so like an internet like exactly like the internet except it's just something that we're all wired into and unaware of except on a subconscious level and maybe it's not just it's also developing right if you think of eyesight eyesight exists on almost every mammal right and eyesight had to have come out of a need for a thing but it wasn't instant it wasn't like a single-celled organism all sudden had eyesight single-celled organisms became multi-celled organism and eyesight slowly evolved right and our eyesight is eerily similar to the eyesight that exists in like squids and octopus you know cephalopods like weird [ __ ] creatures in the ocean they have
a different way of utilizing light and image but it's kind of similar so what is happening how is that happening like what is that like this thing takes time it must there must have been a very primitive version of eyesight and then it became what we have now where you can read and you can detect things in the distance and you can pick out focus flowers you could focus we go to see things like the visual experience of going to the movies is a spectacular element of being entertained like all the look look around like that's why we love beauty we love art we love to see things right that had to have evolved and it evolved in a way that connects to our emotions i mean this artwork you see it it brings you to tears like some of this [ __ ] i saw in the vatican i mean it changed my physical state to look at these incredible paintings and know that like in 1100 a.d somebody made this yeah and here it is in this pedophile's basement and some [ __ ] church that gets to skirt international law and harbor fugitives because that's what it is but that that very strange thing that we have the sense of being able to see things the the sense of sight that evolved maybe we're evolving a sense of how we each other think maybe telepathy is an evolving sense and you're getting it in these like weird little little hints and whispers like when you think about someone and then they call you everybody wants to say that's a coincidence but man i've thought about people like they just pop into my head and i haven't thought about them in forever and then i open up my email and bam there's an email from the dude and it'll give me goosebumps yeah like there's this woman that just died and she lived in some eastern european country and she'd been blinded as a child and she had this sense and she predicted 9 11 she predicted like a ton of [ __ ] she was like this little poor woman in this little town in eastern europe and she was blind she was blind for as a child yeah
[Music] i wonder if telepathy is something that's slowly evolving in the human animal i could see that it totally makes sense that it could there's there's certain non-verbal communication that we all share here it is everything baba venga the blind bulgarian mystic predicted for 2022 oh great what else did she predict okay she claimed the 44th president who turned out to be barack obama would be black wow however she also said that he or she would be the last president which again did not happen okay okay in 1989 she claimed the american brethren will fall after being attacked by steel birds whoa and the innocent blood will be gushing some believe this is a reference to september 11th vladimir putin will win the 2018 election she predicted in 1979 during a meeting with writer valentin siddrov varang verg vanga vanga said all will thaw as if ice only one remained untouched vladimir's glory glory of russia world war iii shortly before her death the elderly woman said russia will not only survive it will dominate the world oh great oh boy oh boy i hear that that scares the [ __ ] out of me because i had mike baker on who's a former cia operative and i always say former in air quotes yeah right because he always tells me they keep dragging me back in yeah he he definitely knows what number to call i'll say that yeah all right you know it's like am i a former comedy store comic i still go back there and work sometimes yeah she's got a good one that we missed out on coming this year oh damn it was it the invasion of earth by aliens with the arrival of an asteroid oh boy oh boy coming this year virtuality reality takeover which is virtual reality takeover for the coming year that's meta right water shortages that's water shortages yeah but it's not it's a desalination shortage you could [ __ ] just [ __ ] load of water it's three quarters of goddamn earth the idea that water shortage is no there's a shortage of innovation you [ __ ] the water's right there don't say
there's a shortage of water because the waters right there don't they have a salinization machine in like san diego now that's really effective yeah they can do it i mean they can i don't know if it works at scale like for 300 million people if you can but they can eventually you're telling me they can ship video through the sky and it lands on someone's phone in new zealand instantaneously and you can't pull that [ __ ] salt out of the water yeah can it be done can salt come out of water yes it can right yeah get the [ __ ] salt out of the water we'll never have a water crisis again yeah whether you [ __ ] out of here with that drives me crazy well we talked oh the russian thing so mike baker was saying that they have hypersonic nukes and so does china we don't have those yeah and hypersonic that's one of the ones they set off last week right yes they sent one to ukraine yeah he said there the speed is one thing but it's also the ability to change direction so like if you see a a torpedo or a missile rather and it's launched from russia and it's headed towards chicago they can time when it's going to hit chicago or a conventional nuke but these they they take turns in the air though you thought it was going to chicago psych we're going to phoenix boom and it happens in seconds it's they go seven times faster than the speed of sound and when they explode isn't there something like it sucks it sucks the the air out of your body they have those they have those too they have those where they can detonate them over a city and it sucks all the air out of the city for like five minutes so everybody suffocates to death yeah [ __ ] bro we don't have those either do we i don't know if we have those i don't who knows what the [ __ ] we have i think we have ufos why would we know what they have and they don't you know how you know they let us know no i don't know i'm trying to scare us i mean the other way like what clearly we would probably have something better that we're just not going to tell people yeah i'm just getting gonna let it out there
because then they would try to top it's like rocky or clearly we wouldn't have an old decrepit man with alzheimer's as the president right an old liar a guy who's like there's [ __ ] hours of footage of him lying about everything lying about his education background lying about things he's done or said yeah that's our president we're not good this is not like we're like when leonard skinner when everybody died then they they re reformed the ban it's not the same ban yeah yeah we got too much emphasis on the president in this country we need to spread that power out a little bit more do you see that video of uh biden with obama and obama is at this party and obama is saying hi to everybody and shaking hands and actively ignoring biden behind his in his ear barbarock trying to talk to him puts his hand on his shoulders biden obama ignores it and reaches forward to another person to shake hands with him a hundred percent sliding oh [ __ ] a hundred percent i think they had a period where they weren't really talk because biden would famously say stupid [ __ ] that he wasn't supposed to say and then yeah there was a couple times i think obama was like not talking to him he's a [ __ ] he said famously that you know leave it to joe he'll find a way to [ __ ] things up like that was a quote yeah you got this oh this is a 13 second video yeah what's going on in it this is one where he's just wandering around the one below it is the one that's me this is the one so watch this go full screen and give me some volume oh there's no volume there okay there it goes so see look he's like bro look he's trying to get his attention look at this and obama's like shaking people's hands and talking to people and he puts his hand on his shoulder ignore him ignore him look actively ignores him and reaches to another person to talk to him or talk to her rather yeah
that is a guy getting slighted in any world if you and i were at a party and you put your hand on my shoulder i would turn around immediately what's up i wouldn't [ __ ] ignore you and reach to another person to shake their hands if you're touching my shoulder he was icing them he was icing them yeah 100 yeah 100 they're all [ __ ] grossed out like you've got this guy who's the president he took a chance he made him the president and he's got all these gaffes he says all this crazy [ __ ] you know we can't allow him to stay in power are you saying you're gonna you're gonna remove putin from power what are you saying we're gonna be with the troops in russia you're sending troops to russia [ __ ] you did he say that he said something about our troops would be with the ukraines we'll be with them and like and people like well what do you what do you wait what are you saying are you saying that we're going to send troops to ukraine like what are you saying there's been a lot of confusion the white house has had to walk back several states pull up what the white house had to walk back the white house had to walk back several statements by biden to the point where one of his press conferences recently he does his little speech and then afterwards people started yelling questions and they killed his mic they killed the mic for the audience and they killed the mic for biden and then they cut the screen so like so he can't say anything stupid white house attempts to walk back biden stating putin can't stay in power he's just they just can't trust him to say things the president's point was that putin could not be allowed to exercise power over his neighbors or the region that's not what he said what did he actually say for god's sake this man cannot remain in power that's what he said that means he can't remain in power that doesn't mean putin can't be allowed to exercise power over his neighbors that's not what it says so he's saying things that don't even sit with the narrative that the administration wants to put out all the
rest of the people that don't have dementia yeah this is crazy we're a year in greg and this guy is rapidly deteriorating if you look at him from his best debate performance versus who he is now it's you're seeing what happens to every president except trump everyone ages but obama came in a young man he definitely aged but he's still very very smooth and yeah you know there's no cognitive decline whatsoever he just looks older he's more distinguished got the white hair trump is the same guy trump looks like exactly the same good i don't know somehow or another there's like a duck water just yeah [ __ ] shakes off his back but biden is older he's a lotto bush got a lot older clinton got a lot older these people age it's a crazy job they age hardcore and when you're already at death's door that is just a [ __ ] carpet yeah maybe we've got all these laws about how old a girl has to be to have sex with her how about how old a president what's the let's put a ceiling on presidential runs it's not a bad idea the problem with that idea is that there are people that are very valuable that are older who are incredibly wise they have all their faculties and it would be a amazing resource to take advantage of all the years of knowledge and learning and wisdom and maturity right it could be a cabinet member but not the president the president should have limitless energy but it could be you could have a fit 80 year old who's doing the job who you don't want to be ageist to someone who's totally capable of doing the job at 80. yeah it's just not this yeah but it's an eight-year job if you get re-elected so now he's 88. that's true that's true yeah i mean is there an 88-year-old that's on the ball dick van dyke dick van dyke not selling his house but also dick van dyke is not doing the kind of work that the president has to do which i think is part of what adrian right you're in charge with you have to talk to international world leaders you have to talk to bankers and financiers you have to talk to people that are selling you doom and gloom about the environment
all the union leaders the press and then there's gun violence what are you going to do about the gun violence right what are you going to do about this we're going to deal with this racial tension and there's illegal immigration what are you going to do about that oh my god could you imagine the [ __ ] every day you wake up and here's what's on the agenda today sir like ah yeah [ __ ] i mean when you think about that and you think about the gaffes that biden has had how few obama had oh this [ __ ] was tight did he have any no there was no stumbles yeah there was no i mean maybe he made a misplaced word here or there but there was nothing where you go this guy's incompetent but the [ __ ] democrats when trump was in office they were like oh my god he's he's morally he's uh he's mentally compromised he needs to be removed he means he's slurring his words we need to remove him yeah but they're not saying [ __ ] now like this this shows how crazy you are because this is the most glaring example of someone who has reached a point of decline that cognitive decline is relatively available to anybody to see just all you have to watch the videos do you think he'll run again because i think he hinted that he would not when he ran for office and certainly i wonder kamala is not the next alternative i don't think people want her bro if anything happens to him if i was her i would be very scared yeah i would be very scared because i don't think they're ever going to let her just be president i don't think she's well liked i don't think like like when you keep hearing the things about her cabinet people quitting and the way they feel about her and then her speeches which are these rambling nonsensical like unprepared poorly worded ramblings you've seen i'm sure you've seen some of those right i have not i've you haven't honestly i i'm almost embarrassed to say but like since biden's gotten elected i just i checked the [ __ ] out i need a vacation i need a vacation and i'm woefully under educated about what's been going on give me some one of the most recent ones that
she's done that's ridiculous because there's a [ __ ] ton of them that people have mocked because they're these vapid nonsensical ramblings like a kid doing a book report on a book they haven't read yeah that's what it's like you know one of them was about russia she's like russia is a kind of ukraine is a country and russia is a bigger country and russia is occupying ukraine and that's not good literally yeah i'm not i'm barely paraphrasing yeah see if you can find that one because that one's just so hokey but it's like well i mean essentially the democrats got together and they said we got a choice here during the last election we can either jump get idealistic there it is give me some of this word salad spectacle common harris mock for consulate once again for another doozy of a word salad statement this time kamala was giving a speech about affordable internet access okay about the significance of the passage of time right the significance of the passage of time so when you think about it there is great significance to the passage of time in terms of what we need to do to lay these wires what we need to do to create these jobs and there is such great significance to the passage of time uh well that wasn't very good but that wasn't the best one that mocks her she loses her 10th staffer since june uh she seems totally out of depth in almost every other issue especially when she has to ad lib and talk from the heart or extemporaneously about the issues she should have thoroughly digested and she's gotten so much bad publicity and one they're just talking about it oh there's just a fox thing they're just [ __ ] on her but yeah those aren't that's not a leader that's not that's not what you want from there's a lot of brilliant articulate women out there that can do that yeah that's you know it's it's not the best pickings you know what happened bernie won a [ __ ] couple of primaries yeah that's
what happened yeah and they're like oh jesus we're gonna lose all our money exactly now that's what i was starting to build up to say it was like you know they could have gone idealistic they the left could have you know got a progressive voice in there and they said no let's just get trump out who's the safest [ __ ] bet who's the oldest statest white guy we can find well it's also they just did not want bernie they did not want bernie even if he won they did not want burn yeah they didn't want bernie leading the democrat party and all of his wacky democrat socialist ideas that would reform wealth and do all kinds of things that they were just not interested in doing you know stop all the military-industrial complex money from influencing foreign policy and decision making and he was he's a dangerous threat is he your guy that was the guy that was the first time i ever got canceled was i said i would probably vote for bernie and then he put it on his twitter page and then they found out a bunch of crazy [ __ ] that i've said and joking and took it out of context and calling me a homophobe yeah piece of [ __ ] um this is just the business as usual the business as usual is like you have to be sanctioned to run the thing yeah right and the way you get sanctioned is you you become like deeply compromised you become a part of it you take the money you take the money the amount of stock trading that's done by members of congress the amount of [ __ ] money that they make when they know decisions that are going to be signed and passed they know laws they're going to be put into place they know like there was one recently that we were talking about nancy pelosi and the amount of money she invested in tesla right before biden signed this ev bill electric vehicle bill it's like like 1.2 million find out if that's true it was like they should all have to put their money in trusts while they're in office that are done in [ __ ] mutual funds index funds things that are auto generated buying and not individual stocks well insider trading is against the law yeah how is that not insider trading right if you
know that someone's going to sign a bill and that bill is going to be a massive boost to the electrical vehicle industry just as an example and you know that bill's going to be signed so right before that bill signed you buy a [ __ ] load of stock in electrical vehicles and then the next day or whenever it was that bill gets passed and then that stock goes up and you make a [ __ ] ton of money how is that not illegal they put martha stewart in jail for stock trading remember that right for illegal uh insider trading yeah how is it what the congress does how is that they shouldn't they should not be able to buy and sell individual stocks especially not [ __ ] where they have and then keep an eye on their [ __ ] brother-in-law too because they're exactly making some phone calls exactly or their husband yeah yeah well that's the nancy pelosi thing yeah she's worth like 200 million dollars um she makes a couple hundred grand a year jesus it's crazy i need an inside tip man i need i got one inside tip in my life from uh a friend of mine when i he was a guy i went to high school with and then he was on wall street he never gave me any stock tips and then um i had made so i got my first development deal and he calls me up one day and he whispers he goes but i'm not going to say the stock number because i don't want him to get in trouble but he he gave me the inside tip and i bought it at 15 and i put a lot of money in and it went up to 20 and then it doubled and then it doubled and then it doubled and it was all the way up to like 350 bucks a share and i said my strike price is 400 i'm [ __ ] selling this at 400. i would have made hundreds of thousands of dollars and uh and then it went 325. and then it went 250 and it came all the way i sold i sold like half of it on the way down so i made some but it came all the way down with it this all happened within a month it went up oh it was a pump and dump is that what it is yeah they do that they trick people into buying the stock and then a bunch of people also buy the stock stock price goes up right and then you sell
and that was what happened with like gmc and hold on pelosi's husband invested in tesla but not as viral post claims okay so it's [ __ ] uh house speaker nancy pelosi purchased 1.25 million dollars in stock from the electric vehicle company tesla a day later on january 25th president joe biden signed an executive order requiring all federal v federal vehicles to be excuse me a day later after she buys 1.25 million dollars in stock on tesla biden signs an executive order requiring all federal federal why can't i say this federal vehicles to be electric it says partly false it's true that pelosi's husband invested up to a million dollars in call options for tesla stock in december according to the financial disclosure documents claims that the representative bought 1.25 million dollars in shares one day before biden's executive order are inaccurate the facts a viral meme wrongly accusing pelosi of investing millions in tesla the day before biden signed an executive order on electrical vehicles circulated widely on facebook on monday with millions of views more than 275 000 shares the post paired a picture of pelosi next to a photo of biden signing the order uh in some versions of the post the banner over the top of the images use sarcasm to eloquently to uh obliquely rather uh suggest pelosi engaged in insider trading reading wow what are the odds of that talk about luck what are the odds keep going it's true that the husband paul pelosi made a tesla investment recently according to the house speaker's financial disclosure documents per published on january 21st however the date and the amount of the investment don't match the claim that's circulating wildly online according to pelosi's latest periodic transaction report filed with congress her husband on december 1st invested between five hundred thousand dollars and one million and so it's only off by a little and 25 call options for the tesla stock at a strike price of 500 in march of 2022 call options are financial contracts that give the
buyer the right to buy shares of a stock for a certain amount the strike price until a set expiration date biden signed his executive order directing federal officials to transition federal state local and tribal government fleets to clean and zero emission vehicles on january 27th more than a month after pelosi's husband made the investment yeah but for sure she knew he was going to do that that's only a month difference well it's not saying a day later it's still a million dollars and it's a month later so it's inaccurate in a sense but it's accurate that they they had to have been discussing well it's also one of the most widely traded stocks in america true but that's a giant decision that's made that boosts the stock significantly and for sure she has an insider track on it and also how did you get a million bucks to invest where's that coming from well didn't you how much is she worth 300 million or something where'd you get that right trading yeah it's all trading what does her husband do is he a trader good question i don't know he's really good at if he's a trader you know you can mirror uh pelosi or anybody's trades you can track what they hold in their portfolio can you can you just buy what they buy you can buy exactly what they buy it's federal people do that fish to show on tick tock like i'm just buying what they buy looking for killing the game yeah that's a good move just that yep maybe she's just a genius maybe yeah but so it seems like he bought a million dollars worth of stock a month before they signed that order that seems like that should be an issue that seems like it's controversial no i mean there's those kind of decisions are discussed yeah like transitioning of the entire fleet to electric vehicles that's not something someone comes up with on a whim the day before they write that down and say it in front of the world that's something that gets discussed yeah i assume wouldn't you assume uh i don't you know i don't know if who knows i know that i was gonna buy tesla and my my broker talked me out of it then it [ __ ] went crazy your
broker talked you out yeah he said that the fundamentals were bad their supply chain wasn't gonna be there when they they couldn't meet the needs of all the teslas that they were selling which was all wrong yeah they're making their own chips now are they really yeah they're doing a lot of things to bypass the problems with the supply chain oh elon's a [ __ ] wizard man yeah i'm really interested to see what he does with twitter because he bought nine percent of time oh that's right i read an article today though i didn't read the article excuse me i read a headline today that said that uh he might have done something illegal by buying that stock oh really yeah but like but what is that what could you have done i don't understand that what um what wasn't interesting enough to read what was his motivation disclosure of the purchase the disclosure of the purchase that he disclosed it that's what it's the timing of the disclosure it says yeah i think you know how is that when you make a giant purchase like that not disclosing it in a certain amount of time can affect things like effect like how other people buy it sure um or sell it or do whatever right affect the stock price yeah i'm interested to see because uh i hear they're gonna put an edit button now because that was one of the things that he suggested and he made a poll do you think twitter should have an edit button and he said yes who edits what you whether you can edit it like you write something and you write 1945 but you meant 1965 like [ __ ] you have to delete the tweet and start all over again and he wants the he was like made a poll should twitter have an edit button and the vast majority of people said yes so let's see if they implement that okay there's a 50 year old law that requires that investors notify the securities and exchange commission when they surpass a 5 stake in a company musk
reached that benchmark on march 14th according to the filings but he made his public disclosure only monday that sounds like a minor in between he continued to buy stock at the price of around 39 per share bringing his total stake to 9.2 percent after his to close disclosure twitter share price rose roughly thirty percent and is now above fifty dollars per show [ __ ] yeah yeah so basically if he had disclosed earlier that he was buying it the price would have risen faster yes got it maybe that would have been bad for him because he wouldn't be able to get it at the same rate yeah exactly if he if he's actually listened to so i don't know like how much power a person who's worth nine percent has over a company well he's the biggest uh owner right the biggest stakeholder shareholder but if he did they have to listen to him though you know what i'm saying like do they have to listen to him in terms of like whether they want to ban people whether they want to have an edit button whether or not they want to apply the principles of the first amendment to something like twitter right well maybe it's the it's the fear that if he were to dump all the stock it would hurt the price so they want to keep him happy i was having a conversation with a couple friends yesterday about this and one of them is dealing with comments on another social media platform and what they were saying was that you know what twitter does by banning people and censoring people is definitely bad but there are some [ __ ] horrible people that were banned by twitter that are now ruining these other social media apps and they were explaining to me like what's happening and how these people comment on these other apps and about how toxic they are and about they have like a whole group of people that have also been banned that find these new social media apps and that's that's where they congregate and hang out and that's their community now and it's just it's just chernobyl this is toxic what are the other apps well there's a
shitload of them i don't want to name the one they're like this person was talking to me about okay specifically because i don't want to [ __ ] up because i think i believe in these other apps i believe in all these other alternative platforms and i think that there's great value in having competitors whether it's to twitter or to youtube or to any of these facebook and these giant huge companies that have a massive pipeline to the consciousness of the world because the what the ability to distribute information on twitter or on facebook or like that is unprecedented there's never been a thing like that where privately owned company has the ability to get ideas out there that can change the way elections are iran to change the way so many things are thought of in this country i think we need alternatives and i think we need alternatives that adhere to free speech but the problem is when they've got these shitty people that they've kicked off of these other platforms like twitter because twitter is pretty ruthless about it then they go to these other places and they run amok and then like hey free speech you need free speech but then there's they're organizing harassment campaigns and [ __ ] with people and targeting them all day long and constantly commenting on them and you're like i don't know if that's good either yeah you know that would make me not want to go there if i that was i was this person so like but i don't like what twitter did like i don't think twitter should have banned trump i don't think i think that was a terrible idea it's a terrible precedent to set that you you can decide that you don't like a guy who's the [ __ ] sitting president of the united states at the time and kick him off your platform because you don't like the the things he's saying um yeah i guess it's like you know if they control the new what newspapers can print and they're they're you know culpable for misinformation i guess they're trying to look at the biggest providers whether it's
you know facebook instagram whatever and hold them to that same standard um well then are the questions are they a publisher or are they utility right that's the fine line and if the thing is like if the president is saying something that's not true like if the president is saying like here's one thing that trump always would say the elections were stolen and people are like well that's not true you can't say that i think you should say the president hey either you prove definitively that the the elections are stolen and we we look at this with a panel of objective experts and if you can't do that you have to stop saying that we're going to delete all the times you've said it that doesn't seem unreasonable to me if if it is provable i don't know how proof like i don't think that the president had the i don't think trump had the election stolen from him but i don't think there was zero election fraud in any election ever no but it's certainly no higher now than it's ever been and every you know in every investigation it's turned up negligible has that been a bipartisan investigation if the the republicans found the same results the democrats found well there were 60 investigations so i was 16 yeah and none of them found like uh real measurable fraud i think there might have been one that had that had some evidence out of 60. so i would imagine they were bipartisan for some of them yeah so at the very least if that's the case then twitter should look at that evidence and say hey you can't say that because here's the evidence and we'll point to the article and maybe a link like it's like to say look there's been 60 investigations only one found an amount of measurable fraud i don't know if that's true but i just know that they accused bush of uh bush was accused of election fraud in like whatever it was was it 2008 2004 is that what it was
but they didn't mean they were accusing him of election fraud back then they even had that documentary hacking democracy do you remember that documentary no it was an hbo documentary um that concentrated on the die bold machines and it showed that they could be influenced by a third party like a third party could have access to the machines and they could change the result and what proved it on the show on the in the documentary they actually did they use the voting machine and change the result and was that was that the die bold is it owned by a republican donor i believe so yeah yeah i believe so at the time um i think they also make atm machines too yeah it's like they make machines it's pretty scary to think about how easy it would be to steal an election electronically and i don't know why we don't have a uniform system of voting from state to state and that you can just this this state buys machines from this company this one's online this one's not online right it's insane remember the dangly chads yeah right remember that the dangling chats the little little [ __ ] things that didn't get punched all the way through so it didn't count right right yeah it's like for sure people are weasels and people are always trying to game any system but like that being a reason why you're gonna keep a president because he thinks he got robbed he didn't get robbed according to most people or a lot of people prove it like this but banning a president seems [ __ ] crazy it's crazy to say that you were robbed when you weren't robbed that's crazy too right but prove that and then it even his followers should be able to look at that and go hey why is he saying he got robbed yeah you know right i think there's some voter fraud that always takes place because some people are zealots and people that are working for the republican party if they can if they're they're involved in you know if there's some way if there's a bag of mail that you know is coming from a
democrat community you can [ __ ] hide that you know and there's mail-in ballots or if there's some some weasley way you can do something yeah people are going to do it right people are but it's also you know the default move when you're going to lose an election is to call voter fraud yes because yeah it's been done by both sides yeah it's [ __ ] it's it's bad too because it undermines our confidence in democracy which is already kind of shaky and that is also one of the things that the russian troll farms prey on all those uh russian troll farms that they found you know that like comment on facebook and start facebook pages and do all these uh you know they they interact with people and get them all stirred up mm-hmm all of them are trying to undermine our exactly what they wanted they wanted us fighting amongst ourselves and distrusting the democratic process they won that's what they wanted and it's it's been very effective and because of the freedom that we have with these social media platforms they could take advantage of that they did this thing recently they found out that 19 out of the top 20 facebook christian pages were one were run by russian trolls no kidding yeah [Laughter] wow i was looking up trying to find some twitter information in 2017 or 2018 this article was an estimated two-thirds of tweeted links to popular websites are posted by automated accounts damn two-thirds that's sick that's crazy that's crazy it had the like the number of accounts similar numbers like only 34 of these accounts are human oh my god that's so crazy suspected bots 66 the most active twitter bots produce a large share of the links to popular news and current events websites so when they say bots is that necessarily that's automated yeah they have a definition of what they use for a bot but it's basically like a automated account not run by an actual you know like someone claiming this is their so there's multi layers to this i mean i'm
sure some of those bots are used by corporations and you know media sites in america to drum up interest do you remember there was a howard stern controversy because there was a video that got released and i want to say it's from 2013 where he's telling people to make fake twitter accounts and tweet at celebrities to tell them to go on the howard stern show oh no [ __ ] yeah it's really embarrassing it's like you know he's talking about what they need for the show to be successful and he's doing this like seminar in front of all of his employees so he's on stage and he's got like a powerpoint presentation and one of the things he's telling them to do is to tweet at celebrities and tell them that you have to be on the howard stern show we watch you on the howard stern show and so he wants you to make a bunch of accounts make a bunch of accounts that should be part of your job do that and tweet it these celebrities yeah it's a bad look yeah you never seen it no yeah it's uh it's not something i could ever imagine doing yeah it's not something i can imagine anybody doing there's a lot of people doing it there's a lot of podcasts out there that are filled with you know uh what do you call it when you get fake uh followers yeah you know they go to the farms they give you the fake followers and you know a lot of these new podcasts that are very corporate they're all full of [ __ ] you know they're all it's all fluffed up with yeah they're trying everything they can yeah i mean there's so there's bots which are automated responses and automated tweets that they could do that they do with a program but then there's these troll farms that are actually people and they create memes and they make a lot of funny memes that like mock hillary clinton or mock barack obama or mock joe biden or whatever and they they [ __ ] churn these things out and they're hilarious some of them are i had this woman rene de resta on my podcast and she studied the internet research agency in russia and she looked at hundreds of thousands of these posts and memes and she's like
this is like this wild directed effort to stir up [ __ ] in america to get people fighting with each other one of the things they did they they pitted a texas separatist group they made them have a a demonstration across the street from uh a pro-islam group so they they organized both of them and they organized them to be across the street from each other wild but that kind of like really sneaky [ __ ] yeah because that's what they're doing and how do you control it how do you keep that from happening how can you how can you i mean on one hand what you're saying and i agree with it to some extent is not to kick anybody off twitter but then on the other hand you go like yeah but this these are the airwaves right right and what my friend was saying about these [ __ ] that have gone to these other platforms and are ruining these platforms to the point where they don't want to go to these platforms anymore because every time they go they're just dealing with these people that have been kicked off of twitter and now they run amok here like it's their playground now like they got their own playground and you try to go over there because you're like well maybe twitter is being a little bit irresponsible with their take on the first amendment then you go over there and you're like well what the [ __ ] is this yeah this is not good this is a terrible experience like the experience for the users is awful it's um it's tricky [ __ ] man yep it's like how do you do it how do you do it the right way you know you want free speech but you don't want a [ __ ] farm yeah you know you don't want just like [ __ ] just like overflowing where you every time you go there you get harassed and insulted and that's what's fun for people like there's a lot of people that did do you ever see uh the um what is the storm what the [ __ ] is the hbo queuing on documentary entering the storm what was it called into the storm into the storm it's great have you ever seen it no i haven't seen it it's on 4chan it's all
about 4chan and um the q anon hoax this supposedly insider into the white house that was giving you all this information about what trump is actually doing to try to stop the pedophiles and all this wild [ __ ] and it shows you how they manipulated these people and shows you how they created this sort of thing and and started putting out this uh this fake character that they were saying was an insider with all this inside information that they would distribute in this very cryptic manner but it's [ __ ] wild to see how these people just buy into it hook line and sinker and about the end of the film they recognized that they would they were hoaxed after january 6 and everyone's [ __ ] they're all going to jail yeah i thought we were on the good side right right well what is the need that people have to believe this stuff is it that they've been lied to i mean part of it is that the government does systematically lie as every government always has they just we know more about it now because there's a little bit it's a little less opaque now than it used to be but it opens the door like when you have you know when 911 happens and all of a sudden you know steel is being carted away in [ __ ] trucks that are owned by the mob and different things happen you go like all right now i'm gonna look for a crazy answer because you didn't give us transparency no not to bring up 9 11 conspiracy theory i'm just saying like i know what you're saying that's what leads people to start these theories is that they weren't given the truth in the first place well any time there's a gigantic event like 911 you're going to have a lot of chaos anytime you have a lot of chaos you're going to have conflicting eyewitness accounts conflicting eyewitness accounts by and not even malicious not even uh intentional no but it's anecdotal people handpicked these anecdotal stories and then they put together a narrative exactly and then also people are so confused after an event that they give in inaccurate uh depictions of events just because they don't know what the [ __ ] happened
yeah and then there's like legit wonders you know there's religious conspiracies people have conspired the government's inspired people have done things there's plenty of evidence there's if you go through the freedom of information act there's a bunch of things that like the gulf of tonkin incident that got us into the vietnam war never happened operation northwoods this uh plan to blow up jet airliners and blame it on the cubans and arm humid cuban friendlies and attacked guantanamo bay to get us to go to war with cuba that was all the government's real plan signed by the joint chiefs of staff vetoed by kennedy he was like what yeah the [ __ ] are you doing yeah i mean it's probably one of the reasons why they killed him i mean probably his reluctance to go along with a lot of the propaganda and the business as usual that the the government wanted to keep running that was that's how they ran [ __ ] yeah that's what they did back then right the fact that they didn't just come up with that plan but the [ __ ] joint chiefs of staff signed it they're like we're good to go i like it good idea guys let's kill some people and let's kill cubans like that's what they're gonna do yeah they're going to blame the cubans blow up a jet they had a drone there was a drone jet they were going to fly a jet and make it explode in the sky look what the cubans have done and what say they're humans yeah so literally the theories that about 9 11 were part of an actual plan in the 60s that plan was in in some way eerily similar to a lot of the crazy conspiracy theories that people have about 911 and that's one of the reasons why they get so curious about these things is because the government has done the gulf of tonkin the gulf of tonkin rather is that's irrefutable we know that that didn't happen we know that the government made up a false flag event so that we could go to war with vietnam and it happened yeah we did it right and then we after 9 11 there was all of a sudden there were military actions that were taken that didn't even
[ __ ] make sense that's why i get real suspicious when the government starts releasing information about ufos when they start releasing information about crafts made from other worlds and not really my i'm i'm a no one wants to believe in ufos more than me yes i got a [ __ ] ufo behind me i got a ufo on the table no no tattoos no you have no i should have one nobody wants to believe in aliens and ufos more than me yeah and i don't i'm not i'm not in all right i'm watching these these press conferences and i'm seeing these videos that they release and the way they're describing things and my god dammit why why do i have this part of me that's calling [ __ ] i have a feeling that they have access to some technology that is above and beyond what we think is currently available and whether it's military [ __ ] or whether it's drones whatever the [ __ ] it is i think some of the things that we're seeing that operate in these insane ways i think it's some stuff they're testing that's what i think maybe some of it's aliens i'm willing to believe that too because of the fermi paradox and maybe the the just the sheer number of stars in the universe the idea that this the only place that has life is crazy yeah this doesn't make any sense it's illogical yeah something's out there and if something was out there i think they would check us out because we're out of our [ __ ] mind and we we use nuclear bombs yeah i would look i would watch i would see what we're doing so i'm not opposed to the idea of ufos being real but when the government starts having transparency about unidentified flying objects that believe it or not them talking about it is where i'm like huh really i don't know i don't know if i believe it i don't like you i don't like when the pentagon starts telling me the ufos are real yeah really right yeah
yeah sure i just don't think they would tell you yeah i think they'd rather keep you in the dark they're just making people pay more attention to it but if they have a product that behaves and moves in a way that is unexplainable with traditional acknowledged technology but it's just some new technology what better way to mask the fact that you have this thing than to say you know guys there's some things we just can't explain and we don't know what to do about them but we've had multiple sightings of these incredible objects and we don't know what they are we have no idea like yeah it's like when your parents get divorced and then your dad suddenly introduces you to his new friend who's got huge tits and they seem to know each other for a long [ __ ] time and she comes on vacation with us hey dad it's just when has the government been transparent about things like that never never no they're not giving you anything they don't want you to have now why would they want i think that that is like a nice distraction to all the conspiracy theorists and all the ufo aficionados like myself and i think maybe some of it is they're acknowledging that there's some things that they can't explain maybe some of it is some [ __ ] that they have yeah i think that's that's a likely possibility right at least at least it's on the table yeah speaking of conspiracy theories our our friend tom o'neill the chaos author [ __ ] thank god you introduced me to that guy but he he's uh they're producing a uh a movie oh are they really one of the major uh streamers i think i can say netflix i yeah netflix is doing it with probably the best documentary maker of the last few decades that's [ __ ] yeah yeah that book is so good oh by the way this is how good a guy tom is i told him i sent him a message uh hey my wife's mom is
so into your book and she's all in and she's been in the middle of reading it and every time i talk to her she's her eyes light up and she's talked to me about the book and uh you know she found out about it from me because i was explaining to her and she actually was a hippie in haiti ashbury in the city oh [ __ ] and she went to that hate ashbury clinic where that jolly west guy was giving to the manson family no [ __ ] did she remember jolly west no she doesn't remember that but she remembers going to that clinic because that was in the neighborhood where she lived yeah and everybody went there but she she was a part of that whole movement she was she was there so this is unbelievably fascinating she's like her diary and tom offered to talk to her when she finished the book wow he said i'd love to get on the phone with her and have a conversation with her maybe answer some questions because there's some new information that we have after the book uh was published i have some new info because he's still looking into it yeah yeah which is crazy well he's got so much material that didn't make it into the book yeah there has to be a second book and and he'd never get like he's constantly telling he just came to my my birthday party two nights ago uh thanks and uh happy birthday thank you and he never tires if i have a new friend that he hasn't met before and i said this is my friend tom oh what do you do tom well i'm right what'd you write chaos he will then sit there for an hour and a half and just [ __ ] download them on the important parts of the book and it's not to promote it's just he is passionate about his curiosity about this and putting it all together for people who don't know we should end with this because we've been going for a long time but tom was originally hired to write an article about the anniversary of the manson murders by premier magazine upon investigation in writing the article he realizes there's some inconsistencies and there's some problems and so he goes deeper and deeper and then he gets fired from that and he keeps writing and then more people hire him for books and this and that and it goes on for 20 [ __ ] years 20 years and all this time you
were his friend and you were his neighbor in new york and then you were his neighbor in venice yep and then greg who has never suggested anyone to me as a guest you go you got to have this [ __ ] guy on and you tell me this whole story and i'm like oh a guy who loves conspiracies yeah i'm like oh my god this is a great one and i think jamie read the book and uh yeah it's really something that like when people say i worked on something for 20 years it's like did you right but i can tell you by living next to him every morning that [ __ ] made a pot of coffee drank the whole thing and then wrote for nine hours and if he wasn't writing he was in a car that i gave him a volvo evolv 1985 volvo 240 dl he was driving into the [ __ ] desert in 100 degree heat with no [ __ ] air conditioning to investigate the manson murders because there was some lapd officer who was on his death bed that was finally ready to talk and like he went all around the country and the thing about the book is this is a real journalist who corroborated every fact in that book there's there's and that's the thing about it that is so amazing is he doesn't at the end wrap it all up and go here's exactly what happened right he comes just short of saying i know definitively that he didn't he said he never got the smoking gun but you as a reader go no you did tom and he's like no i didn't because he has the discipline of being a real journalist it's so good yeah it's amazing it's so good it's dense it's so good yeah and the audiobook is great too i listened to the audiobook yeah all right gravitons can i pour my data the best yes hey poorman come on out and see me i'm going to be performing at the what is your website uh fitsdog.com i'm going to be in la jolla at the comedy store great club april 8th then i'll be in spokane also in april uh new orleans lafayette louisiana then i'll be at that casino in plainville mass denver comedy works april 28 through 30. tacoma comedy club irvine improv and then bakersfield california all dates at fitsdog.com beautiful and um instagram and twitter what are you on each one at greg fitzgew on twitter and
then instagram i think is just my name greg fitzsimmons i think so and then the podcast is fitzdog radio and then i do another one with mike gibbons called sunday papers beautiful and still doing something with allison rose yeah childish with allison rose beautiful beautiful yeah i learned it all good to see you good to see you lovely yeah have you out here when the club opens yeah next time next time okay good bye everybody [Music] [Applause] you