Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kv8Rh5lG8nI
[Music] hello joe rogan when you're moving to texas as soon as i can are you thinking about it absolutely coming down yeah i'll be here that club's opening i love texas i love terry's barbecue how fun was last night last night was a lot of fun at the vulcan those shows are [ __ ] great we're really doing those shows every week yeah it's just an amazing place where you can [ __ ] around and work out and write new [ __ ] and practice in front of live audiences yeah they were an incredible audience incredible show it was nice green room's nice private bathroom yeah push a coat in that's nice it's a win-win-win yeah it's fun man yeah it's a it's a unique situation to be at a you know like a comedy scene there was always a comedy scene here but now it's like because of uh kovid it got this new boost and you know so many guys moved here and now it's flourishing and now it's like it's different it's got a different feel to it yeah it's not just comics it's people i mean this place is growing and growing and growing every time i come here it's like it's like watching somebody who started working out and like you haven't seen him in a while and you're like wow man you're looking good you're looking good you shed a few pounds you know and by that i mean like shed a few homeless people on the street like they're yeah less and less that's the big move we actually talked about that yesterday with michael shellenberger who got a guy who's running for governor of california and uh the mayor stephen adler of uh austin he had a plan and he [ __ ] pulled it off he was like if i can fix this homeless problem if i can't fix his homeless problem by the time i leave office he goes it'll be a big failure he goes but i think i can do it it goes it's only a couple thousand people we think we can provide them housing we think we can get them help give them shelter you're always going to have some people that just want to live in the woods in a tent you're gonna have some schizophrenics who think the government's got a chip in their brain it's always crazy people but he managed to get all those tents off of
caesar chavez off those main streets off of downtown and it's way better now it's way better i used to work at a formerly homeless sro that's really like a like other states should adopt that new york city they have this thing it's called an sro where it's like section 8 housing so the government pays most of it tries to employ them there's case workers there that's what i did and that's great it houses the homeless they they usually take like old hotels or sometimes i think they build buildings specifically for that and then they live like they have their own room a shared bathroom and caseworkers on there and you know it was fun did you do that fresh out of college i did that um i did 9 11 disaster relief fresh out of college from uh 2002 to 2005. so that was like an ad hoc agency lutheran social services so that was like a that was my first foray into social work and then i worked at an sro for two years so when you say disaster relief like what does that entail it was helping people who lost their livelihood lost family members at 9 11. you know they were affected by it in some way they were in the blast zone the disaster zone they had to be relocated um they lost their jobs so we would like um petition to fema to get them it was called the mortgage rental assistance program so we we'd take their cases there there was this uh there was this combined charity called the unmet needs table where like you would take a client and present the case uh they lost this income or you know they lost the family member so they lost this for assistance so you would we were like their representative and you would take their case their case would be approved for the unmet needs table and there was a bunch of charities that came together and they would sit it would be like catholic charities lutheran social services and you know a bunch of charities and they would dole out money and assistance to people who were affected there was a lot of people particularly first responders that were deeply affected by 911 because of the
all the chemicals and the residue and the [ __ ] that was in the air because the explosions and the collapsing of the buildings yeah did they ever provide them relief i know jon stewart was actively campaigning for that remember he was making which is crazy that that's an issue 20 [ __ ] years later that they're still talking about that yeah i don't know i don't know i mean when i i got so burnt out from all that i kind of just switched off after i was done and what i was doing was like so close to the to the event it was like right after it was like you know i started was the beginning of 2002 so it was mostly just like emergency assistance like people were all i remember my first day on the job like i'd never done social work whatever the first you know i was 22 3 or something and uh first day on the job this dude he was a pastry chef at windows on the world and i met him his new client i met him in this little uh like cubby uh you know um meeting room and he started crying to me you know he was off that day and the survivor guilt and like he lost all his friends and i was just sitting there as a kid going like all right man you need a coffee or something i didn't know what to do like i was just not good at it yet 23 something 22 23 yeah jesus yeah and then uh and then dude when you do social work the count they call it counter transference i think is the official term for it where like um if you're an empathetic person like you start taking it home with you like you start and that started happening to me like i would because these people were like getting evicted you know they they lost their job or they worked at the the millennium hotel i think it was called which was right across the street i had a lot of clients that worked there and then you go home and you start worrying about like dude i got to get this money from the mnet table i got to get the mra program or else they're going to get evicted you start like taking it on and that's when i started having panic attacks and that was a you know it was an interesting time well i can only imagine
of course you would take it on or you would become numb if you did it too often and this is uh that's the dilemma the police officers face right i mean if you're dealing with domestic violence case after dives domestic violence case after homicide after murder suicide after you know over and over and over you're [ __ ] seeing this [ __ ] every day all day like how do you not take some of it home with you you you do i guess i mean if you unless you're a psychopath which is a real advantage in life it's an advantage of your ceo apparently yeah they say that's like one of the the biggest uh character traits for successful ceos yeah democracy comics psychopaths do you think so i mean yes some sociopaths psychopaths but don't you think they have to be good like to be a good comic you have to resonate with people in some way you have to be at least somewhat compassionate all the good guys that we know the guys who are good none of them are sociopaths or psychopaths or if they are they're really good at it i mean you know if you think about it we share our skill sets very similar to dictators you know we get up there we move crowds you know we get people to believe yeah i mean that kid used to crush i mean say what you watched he was a headliner he was a [ __ ] headliner yeah you try going up after him imagine having to go on after hitler yeah especially in germany yeah that's you know in his own town yeah he came up in tough rooms those those beer those beer rooms he came up in bars yeah it came up like a new york comic yeah oh my god he did and he was on coke yeah he was on all types of stuff coked up they shot him full of testosterone and cocaine yeah sent him up there i don't even i wish i could speak german to really understand the impact of his words to get it you know from the the actual language itself because like if a guy was up there crushing like that in english it would be very disturbing especially if you knew that this guy was a totalitarian dictator who was gonna lead his people to a [ __ ] disastrous
war a war based around race and creating a master race i mean that's a [ __ ] crazy dystopian terrifying thing that happened 80 years ago it's wild wild it's so recent man yeah it's very recent and it really hits home with this putin [ __ ] yeah because now you know when you're seeing putin invade ukraine you're going oh this can happen again yeah this is a thing yeah this is a thing that people do occasionally yeah people people need to realize dictators they have a modus operandi they have a personality type they don't change right they're not like putin's not like i'm good you know no you take ukraine i'll take russia it's not like he said it many times he's like i want more i want the former glory of the ussr the worst thing that ever happened was the breakup of this thing and you know there's a perspective to be had that maybe what's preventing him from that is the nato alliance i know this is going to get a lot of hate people saying this people love putin now apparently do they really there's a lot of people who are like ah yeah we're provoking we're provoking him by being on the border it's like there's a bunch of countries that are on the border already and it's like those countries join because they're scared of russia russia has expanded ask finnish people why they're you know which do they prefer the united states you know we're still the good guy here yeah we're still the good guy we are the citizens our ideology is but when you think about the stuff that our government is doing i mean how about you know don't get dave smith started about the war in yemen you'll find out deep details about the illegal war in yemen and the bombings and just how many people we [ __ ] kill with drones there was a chart that showed and this is not you know an anti-american statement but it's just like there's a thing about military there's a thing about war and strategy and this whole nato thing and mixed with putin you know the thing that they were worried about is the literal thing that he's doing he's invading ukraine and blowing up [ __ ] apartment buildings and shooting missiles into cities and and taking over cities like it's kind of like i told you so it's
like they were worried about him expanding his range of power and so they wanted to you know there's talk about them wanting to join nato and warning wanting to join the eu and people like well that's provoking them but isn't this like what they were worried about right like you see him move in is it provoking him like look what he's doing he's doing exactly what we're [ __ ] terrified of a guy like him doing yeah he knows we're not going to invade because of the mutually assured destruction and also nobody ever invades russia and gets out alive dude i used to think it was mutually assured in destruction until i talked to mike baker who's a former cia operative and i use the word former in quotes he he told me that they have hypersonic weapons now and he goes this whole idea of mutually sure destruction was based on the concept that if we got word that russia had launched its missiles we would also launch our missiles we had like 20 minutes to do so and then we would everybody get blown up he goes no it was now these hypersonic missiles not only they move faster than the speed of sound but you can't detect where they're going because they can change course in mid-air so you're shooting it towards chicago that just hooks a left turn and lands in new york city you have no idea where it's going or how to prepare it and it's moving fast in the speed of sound so all that [ __ ] that i mean i don't know if the iron dome that the israelis have i don't think that's capable of stopping hypersonic weapons is it i don't know it sounds like the ways of missiles it's like all right let's take a left here this one's blocked yeah exactly yeah it's it seems like the response time you would you would have to have like a few seconds i mean you have i don't know how like from the speed of sound how long does it take to go from moscow to manhattan let's find that out oh let's just get something more uh more feasible moscow to seattle like moscow to seattle is a quick hop and a jump right but we got those too right we have super sonic i don't think we do yet uh-oh allegedly i don't think we do only china
and russia have them supposedly that's not good and they've been they've been firing them right yeah well putin launched one in ukraine yeah you know just to make sure it works dictators be dictated 27 times the speed of sound oh my god according to this article in the seattle times oh my god yeah 27 times the speed of sound is insane how much time would it take for one of those missiles to hit seattle from russia i'm a guest let's guess 15 seconds i'm going to say 17 seconds just so we have two different fans because i have no idea i'm just guessing me too i mean that many times fast and speed of sound i'm trying to do the math on it we're just not coming up in the article that way um so the speed of sound is it's like that's what 1 or whatever it's 323 meters per second when i type that in times you know we'll check it on the screen times 27 says in december claimed it could read mo we could reach mach 27 which is 20 500 miles per hour holy [ __ ] that's a quick flight holy [ __ ] so that's basically the whole world in an hour right am i right about that let me hit the distance from moscow to russia so you see how long it is i think that's right right the world is 24 000 miles around isn't it because it's 24 hours to spin for a whole cycle of the day it's like you're looking at a fish asking what it's like to breathe yeah but i'm a fish too yeah i'm a [ __ ] too i'm just guessing i should just agree like we're smart like yeah absolutely well it depends on the elements of course while you're doing a podcast you're juggling so many things in your head and trying to manage the conversation and then also do math eight thousand three hundred and sixty-five kilometers okay so if it's going 24 33 000 kilometers that's like a quarter of it almost 15 minutes is that the metric system kilometers yeah yeah so you have 15 minutes is there a canadian we can ask i don't know if that's right 15 minutes
seems well whatever it is it's quick you don't have time you don't have like an hour putin strapped he's strapped and so is china yeah they're both strapped do they know jujitsu though because putin does he does knows judo yeah yeah he's a legit black belt in judo because it may come to handy hand who has more like dudes who are ready like if it gets hand to hand well i mean it's it's a numbers game because russians are hard [ __ ] people they are hard human beings yeah some of the russians that are fighting in the ufc right now are just dominating there's so many guys from dagestan that are crushing people there's guys from all all sorts that whole area chechnya has a lot of [ __ ] one of the top guys right now is from chechnya this guy hamza chemiev there's you know obviously khabib khabib nurmagomedov who's the goat he's from dagestan there's a ton of guys from dagestan and russia always seems to have just like millions of people to throw at death during a war that's the thing anytime about anything in history that has to do with russian war it's just like and a million russians died yeah we had a guy on the other day that was telling us they have a mobile crematorium so they're just throwing their corpses into this incinerator as they so there's no account of how many dead they don't have a real good count because they're getting wiped out because what he's explaining to us was that the roads into kiev you have to take those roads you can't go around because the ground is all mud right now so if they took the tanks and all these armored vehicles off-road they would all get bogged down in the mud so they see them coming so these guys just stand on the side of the road hide behind buildings and launch [ __ ] missiles and rockets at these armored carriers and blow these things up left and right so these guys are dying wow but they're also killing a shitload of civilians too that's the horrible part that's why it's like the people of the world should demand like all right
you want dumbass and whatever the other region is and crimea no civilians no more soldiers fighting no more kids dying it's putin versus biden that's it well we lose no we win duke got that wrong how does biden win he's a white walker dude you don't watch game of thrones who you put your money on jon snow or the dude who's from the dead can you imagine they actually made leaders fight in the leader we'd we'd have a real problem the mountain would be the king of the world from game of thrones yeah or yeah he would be the king of the world yeah he would be our king yeah that's the way it should happen though right shouldn't it be just like a commission fight well if we had to like we don't have like who's the best person the best representative of the united states we'd have to use francis and gano i mean he's from cameroon but he is uh like at least officially he's a ufc heavyweight champion and lives in america oh yeah you could do it america america we claim yeah i mean hillary clinton became a senator in new york she was there like a day you can we're she's true yeah and ghana is american now he's america you got skills you're american if you want to be here you're american now that we tighten them up give them a nice bag yeah we work on his accent a little bit yeah sound like he's from chicago yeah we take everybody here we're america yeah that's the thing about america you can have an accent be american like we're a melting pot we should embrace his accent yeah you're right yeah he's an amazing guy you ever listen to his story um i just know that he's uh i know he's not he's not rich i know he didn't come from riches nobody is way crazier than that way crazier than that he made his way from cameroon to morocco it took 14 months he basically did it on foot hitching rides paying people to take him across the desert and then they would get in rafts and go from morocco to europe and seven times he got arrested and every time they would arrest you they would drop you off in the desert hoping you would die so they take you deep into the
desert drop you off and he made it back to the [ __ ] border every single time and the way he detailed it on my podcast it was like this harrowing long story that you can't believe is real but you know is real it's so crazy he's got like a life story of bane from batman he's a superhero from a movie yeah he's he's a he's a guy from a movie when you hear what he did he worked in a sand mine when he was 11 years old wow that's one of the reasons why he's so [ __ ] strong i mean obviously he's six five or six six incredible genetics but on top of that as a child worked in a [ __ ] sand mine just digging sand as a small boy just strengthening like it's like a conan scene when conan was on the wheel in that movie like pushing the wheel through the sand that's uh that's our king that yeah i think you just made a pretty good argument yeah that's our king yeah is he the baddest dude in the world 100 100 like there's nobody in the world that could take them no no one in the world in an mma fight um you know they're talking about him fighting tyson fury in a boxing match which i fully support just because i want him to make a lot of money but in an mma fight he would murder tyson fury it wouldn't last long it wouldn't last long he would kick his legs one or two times and tyson fury would be incapacitated he would clinch him up against the fence elbow in the head if he took him to the ground well like whatever he did it like once once it it's in the mma realm everybody's [ __ ] you put him in a cage everybody's [ __ ] give him a five minute round everybody's [ __ ] he's gonna crush everybody he's too big too strong and he's become clever and he's got really good coaching now like his fight against uh stephen yochich it's like the first fight he thought he was just going to knock him out and he lost the decision but the second fight he showed composure and poise and and patience and and a great game plan and just destroyed steve steve also made a mistake when he thought after he got up right he he clipped him a little bit he thought he heard him he thought he hurt him and he opened himself up yeah but that's just deep you know stipe is just a warrior he's always
looking for openings he's you're looking to turn the tide but francis is just too powerful it's just like it's also the difference between a guy who's like a natural 240 235 240 and a guy who's a natural 270. that's what francis francis loses weight to make the ufc has a heavyweight limit of 265 yeah and francis loses weight to make 265. natural yeah but let's just say stephen did beat him once so that does that does speak to how tough a place cleveland is i mean i'm playing there soon and cleveland looks a little like cameroon right now well it's also croatians stephen's got those [ __ ] croatians yeah he's an animal that eastern bloc down there but you know he's also he's like he's out of some [ __ ] wars man and i think that first fight with with uh francis took a lot out of st bay yeah i think it took a lot out of them i don't i think there's certain fights where a guy is really never going to be the same again after the fight that's probably one of them if i was fighting in ghana or if i was training someone to fight in gano the first thing i would do is be like don't read anything about them i don't want you to know the story my advice would just be like cover your head up and let him hit you in the body let it let it be over take that body shot and just [ __ ] go down and hope hope he doesn't finish you off with a hammer fist to the jaw where you have to drink out of a [ __ ] straw for the next three months oh you do it i remember peter mcneely when he fought mike tyson yeah he just ran at him was like i'm gonna try this once and then he's just like okay i'm going down that's it he clipped tyson a couple of times yeah i mean that was tyson fresh out of the joint yeah you just gotta hope to get lucky with one swing and then you're going down there's no lucky with tyson you ain't getting lucky because he can t he can get hit with a missile his head is so [ __ ] thick like his his jaw is so thick his his structure of his neck his neck is so thick like he was such a like like a shock absorber for punches like tyson got hit with bombs even in the fight he lost to buster douglas look at how many times he got hit before he went down same with evander stay with the founder
yeah be with big shots before he went down whereas most people would have been taken out by one of those yeah he takes a gang of them before it's like he's like it's in a movie or in a video game rather when you get to the final boss and you gotta like do everything you can to beat that guy it required so much yeah he was like uh a freak show of speed and power technique technique the whole his head movement yeah everything he would just come in on you and then that move it was like that patented tyson what was it body shot and then uppercut yeah yep right to the body you didn't even see the uppercut because it was below your eyes and your your body was still quivering from that body shot yeah in his and also it's crazy like that just the amount of synchronicity like how everything just worked out perfectly with him not perfectly but you know like when he was 13 years old he's this kid who weighs 190 pounds at 13 years old which is just insane he was a tank and he was relatively short for a heavyweight he's only like five ten five eleven and then he meets customato who had invented a specific style called the peekaboo style which was criticized by a lot of people they didn't think it was a good style where you keep your hands up like this and you're moving like that and a lot of bob and weaving which was the perfect style for his body type and custom motto literally had mastered that style and he he was he was basically his invention was tyson like the the one guy who really took that style to a championship oh yeah well i mean other guys had that style and they did it but cuss had a lot of really great fighters like he had floyd patterson and jose torres he had very good fighters that came out of his camp but as he was an old man he meets this young prodigy that's tyson yeah i mean it was the perfect combination of a guy who's not just a man who knows so much about boxing who had been around forever but he was also a psychologist who was a hypnotist so like he it was a master of psychological preparation and he would hypnotize tyson when he was young and he would tell him you don't exist it's just the task the task exists he turned him
into like a terminator a terminator yeah and he was like kill at all bro he was a terminal dude that photo he would look he was a mean looking dude i wanted to hand that photo of my milk money right there i was like take my wallet and that's a young person that's a young tyson when he i think he's got a he's got an amateur t-shirt on so he might have been fighting in the amateurs back then he's a tough dude yeah he doesn't even look like he was capable of smiling during that time it's funny because i follow him now and he's like the wisest guy like he's always dropping gems well he thinks man yeah he's he's always contemplating i mean even back when he was fighting he read a lot about like conquerors and like he and i got in this long discussion about um genghis khan like he knows his real name was his temujin he like he rattled off all this data on genghis khan he's read extensively on alexander the great and all these crazy conquerors like that mindset he like applied a lot of their historical uh writings and all the things that you learn about these conquerors here applied that to his fighting it's amazing and i guess with customato kind of focused him and because where he's from uh brownsville i mean the tough upbringing he had like it makes me realize how much of life is to control your emotions because we're not we're not re we're not reasonable animals we have the capability of reason and being rational but we are emotional animals yeah our innate instincts are to be emotional you have to learn logic and reason and to think you have to learn that it's it's not innate well we're primates that's why we're prone to dictators because it's all emotional they just appeal to your emotion well it's all that but it's also like if you look at primate cultures there's always an alpha there's a big silverback gorilla there's always an alpha chimp that runs the entire pack of chimps there's we always have like a great leader like and throughout history human beings have had tribal leaders you've had a leader of the tribe that was the usually the oldest warrior the strongest warrior who had experienced the most and he would lead the young that were coming
up and they would defend their tribe against invaders that's part of our history do you think what's maybe going wrong in america with freedom is that because of advertising because of marketing and how it controls america and how much they market to the youth because that's the coveted demographic that we've sort of empowered the youth and now even boomers are pejorative and like but you know you can you could you can use your people use your age when you're older as like a pejorative like you're old but is it like dude yeah mult i know more [ __ ] than you yeah but those people are idiots people who do that you're old well i mean i actually that's not true because sometimes people are old and they're stuck in their way they're stuck in the way that they were you know they're stuck in the deal oh back in my day if you wanted to talk on the phone you had to stay next to the cord you know you know like there's some stupid [ __ ] like that but there's you know there's different kinds of old people there's old people that are wise and they're old people that are young idiots that just survived good point but the wise one the wise ones at least should be revered no there's got to be some sort of system where you revere experience yeah but they have to have respect too like they have to respect the young people too and that's a thing that sometimes people when they get older they automatically want respect from young people just because they've lived longer which is stupid right there's there's old idiots you know there's old people that are just dumb as [ __ ] and they just manage because we have a relatively cushy existence you know for for most people food's not hard to get you know a decent job where you can pay your rent not that hard to get it's just like this is a time of unprecedented job opportunities so many people have quit their jobs during the pandemic which is really wild yeah because i don't know where they're getting their money i don't know either but yeah it is this is the most comfortable time to be alive the
amenities of modernity are sweet they're pretty sweet you don't even have to when you when you get food delivered to your house you don't even have to look the guy in the eye you just crack the door open and pull your food in like a prisoner in solitary confinement so there's there's older folks that deserve deep respect like there's the cornell west of the world that does deserve deep respect they've experienced so much and they're so wise and they're older and then there's old people that are just morons you know they're just morons that because of all these incredible inventions and the the advances of society and medicine and and the availability of food they've managed to make it to 75 but they're a [ __ ] dummy they're a dumb 23 year old that just kept living you know there's a lot of that yeah like you know i used to have a bit about that about old [ __ ] were [ __ ] when they were young they just survived yeah this idea like you know you show me respect like you don't deserve respect just because you're old some people deserve respect i have a theory too i don't know it's a little different though that nobody you can't really tell who a person really is until they're old because that's when they show their true colors because it's easy to be nice and everything when you're young hot [ __ ] able-bodied you know but like when you get older and you lose all that if you're still cool then you were really cool because a lot of people turn into like bitter dicks when you know they can't do all the things that they used to do you know you go to those old i've spent a lot of time in nursing homes with my parents and a lot of those people are dicks and they were probably really cool when they were able-bodied and [ __ ] maybe maybe not maybe they always sucked you know i mean it's the thing about like getting older is like for the the biggest shift is hot women when a hot woman goes a hot woman goes from being a hot 25 year old to being a completely unattractive 60 year old like no one wants to have sex with you
everybody wants ups imagine if your personality was based like a lot of these insta hoes like think about the [ __ ] future that they're looking at because if you look at them when they're 25 like their entire existence is about you know videos of them doing squats from behind and you know inspirational quotes and music and they're just flooded with attention their inbox must look like a tsunami of dicks just flying at them right 80 [ __ ] 5 000 miles an hour seen in the bible instead of frogs it's just dicks i mean if you're one of those gals that has like you know there's a bunch of those gals that have like millions of instagram followers and they're just hot as the sun and just doing squats all day and dead lifts and great music and looking ahead all determined with their headphones on and just they absorb themselves in their phone all day long it's like checking out how many people are paying attention to them checking out how many likes they're getting how many messages they're getting when you go from that to 40 years later when you're 65 40 years happens quick yeah it really does doesn't seem like it happens quick because 40 years from now like if you had to hold your breath it feels it seems like a long time but time just keeps going and after a while you look back and you're 65. you're 65 and no one wants to [ __ ] you well i think some of that depends on culture because i've spent a lot of time in miami i live down there for a year those latin women know how to keep it going hey jlo is a good example of that yeah there's just something in that culture where they just keep that sexiness like you'll see a grandma holding her grandkid but she'll have the ass will be propped up she'll be walking like a regal 20 year old and they're the energy like i won't [ __ ] her really even though she's 70. i want to focus the oldest lady you would [ __ ] it depends on where in wisconsin 40 and even then it'll be like yeah yeah it just yeah i mean you know a lot of it would be weight-based i think also how rude
hey don't you know that i just came from san antonio so i mean what's it like down there it's hard to fit in that city how so it's just people are big populations not huge but they're just big folks a lot of food a lot of food there texas size and people people eat a lot yeah they eat a lot and the people are a little big so it's kind of it's like a crowded airport even though there's not a lot of people i wonder if like uh there's an index that shows people's like body size and relationship to city in relationship to how delicious their food is i'm sure there's gotta it must be it's gotta be right texas big is a thing for sure yeah [ __ ] like terry blacks you go and have barbecue there like if you do that multiple times a week you're going to be a fat fat [ __ ] do you think food because it becomes such a burden on the health care system and because you know heart attacks and cardiac problems are such a big cause of of death do you think there should be like some sort of system where you have to earn to order the right food like you go to get a burger and they they hunch up your name and they go you're not it's illegal for you well that's what the problem with that's you're basically talking about like a social credit system and that's a digital currency system is what more like a diet credit system yeah but the problem is you're telling people what they can and can't do with their money and ultimately there there's there's ways that the government is going to try to implement and i say the government let's just say the chinese government chinese government has already implemented a social credit system and it's tied to digital currencies tied to your currency so what it means is like you could go to buy something and it'll say no your social credit is too low for you to be able to purchase this whatever you want to watch and you won't you won't be able to do it because you [ __ ] up or you talk badly about the government on twitter like that is a real thing and that's that's a real concern if you tied that to food and tide that oh you can't buy that cheeseburger what if i'm [ __ ] hungry
like no i think you should have freedom and if you your freedom is also the freedom to become a fat [ __ ] and if you you have a burden on the health care system i think the it's on the government to try to educate people about the benefits of being healthy and not becoming a fat [ __ ] and being alive to hang out with your grandchildren and you know and hang out with your wife in your golden years like that that's that's what the burden should be on education not on punitive punishments like you can't have a [ __ ] cheeseburger yeah and who's telling me that chris christie is he gonna tell me i can't have a cheeseburger you know what i mean no he can't have a cheeseburger right but yeah i'm saying like who's gonna be the person imagine if you have a fat governor you could do it dude you're in shape yeah but if you see what i eat yeah i eat like a [ __ ] like three people yeah i eat so much [ __ ] food but you eat lean you know you got to be doing something right well i work out like a terrorist yeah like a terrorist but it's also pretty intense i eat a lot of food man i mean it's like i'm a glutton i'm a legit glutton like i have to i have to curb my my tendencies to overeat i eat a lot too i have to curb mine yeah i mean i'm kidding but it yeah they it does keep make for a tidy society you have to admit the chinese it's tidy over there yeah but if you throw a wrapper on the ground then you disappear i mean it works it does work in that way yeah it works that way it's just not good for innovation yeah it's not good for creativity it's not what it's it's immoral you gotta have wild people that do wild [ __ ] and then those crazy [ __ ] they create fun things they create fun times fun experiences like you have to have a world where you have the freedom to create a joey diaz like that's you can't create a joey diaz in china right they would have killed him when he was like 20 right he would have never made it right or they would have made him emperor because they would just be like i gotta hear this guy tell a story he could gather a crowd i mean he could be dictator you know he started doing stand-up in prison he would they would have a bad movie that would play and they would say coco
get up there and he would just go up there and start telling stories yeah and that's that's literally how he started thinking about doing stand-up professionals he's made for it with that voice dog he's just made for talking and he's entertaining yeah he's the most entertaining person i've ever met he's just great there's a lot of great comedians out there and i don't think joey's the best joke writer but i think he's the funniest person he's the funniest person that's ever lived that i've ever met some people are just inherently funny it's like their vehicle is funny they're funny he's just one of those guys he's just a funny dude it's a human cartoon yeah and he's wise he's a wise guy man he's wise man you know you talk to him joey diaz thinks about things that are very wide like there's a reason why he um doesn't want a text message he goes i want he goes i'm insecure i want to talk to you i want to know i want you to know i love you when i call you up i want to hear your voice i want to say some nice things to you i want you to say some nice things to me we'll talk like it's like that's wise because text messages are very impersonal it's funny that i just picture them actually answering the phone for like credit like when you get because there's a lot of spam calls now when you give your number at like banana republic to get 10 percent off no you can't i fall for every trick of that he's got the blocker on it'll go straight to that because i just picture him going making him have a conversation with him he doesn't want to talk to mutts he doesn't want to talk to just any any schmo but he when you're his friend you're his friend for life i'd do anything for that anything i do anything for him he we need more wisdom though like you said he's wise and like democracy do you think at a certain point it just kind of eats it's like the the representatives become things get so free people get stupid and lazy and then the representatives become an actual accurate reflection of the people and then you start to think of people like plato and the republic you start to go
maybe we need like a wise guy somebody who's tested from when he's young and you know his uh his piety is sort of investigated and somebody like that to lead us as opposed to someone who's elected because the way people are elected like you know because benjamin franklin once said why one of my favorite quotes from history is like they asked him why he never ran for president he said just wanting the job would be suspect enough you know it's sort of like it's a moral flaw to be ambitious if because power corrupts and so is there something to like a reluctant leader that we should have you know i think that's really the only type of person that would be really great at the job was someone who did it reluctantly out of a a feeling of service like they they wanted to correct something that was wrong that's what the knuckleheads thought trump was doing like all that's why all that drain the swamp rhetoric worked because people like yeah he's gonna go in and clean it up all those people that have a rudimentary understanding of how politics works and how our system works and representative democracy works and they all thought that he was going to be the outsider that came in and cleaned everything up and to a certain extent they were right i mean it showed that a person can do that who is not a career politician and actually win if they have enough resources and enough charisma and enough of a lot of things a lot of pieces have to be in play a lot of people have to be fed up with the system that's currently in place and just disgusted with the lack of choices and the same standard sort of politicians over and over again running into office but he opened the door for someone who's maybe of that cloth but not not a narcissist and not a you know a crazy egomaniac but that's also one of the reasons why he was successful because they would say all these horrible things about him and he would just [ __ ] just brush it off like he never aged a minute no every other president biden has aged a thousand years in the first one year in office he looks like a walking dead man yeah he looked like
[ __ ] before he became president but he looks way worse now yeah i mean he's mumbling he can't get through sentences they keep walking back what he's saying do you ever seen those compilations where biden is saying non-words yeah it's wild yeah it's wild it's like sounds like my 16 16 month old daughter sometimes trying to get words out yeah he's he's challenged like he's there's real problems he's 80 right yes he's close yeah if he's not he's not 80. i think 79 or 80. yeah but but not trump man when he was in office he never [ __ ] aged and now he's doing these campaign speeches and he's funny yeah like he says funny [ __ ] did you see what he said the other day about the climate he's always funny the john kerry thing goes john kerry's worried about the climate and he goes over the the the ocean's going to rise a half of an inch over the next 500 [ __ ] years and it's like jesus christ i think i saw him working that bit out at lol i mean he's a comic the dude's a comic he's got he's got timing pretty soon we're going to be seeing him like he's going to call you i'll be like joe can i work out i got a new 15 i'm about to tell my maga people if a comic ran for president like zielinski yeah in in ukraine sure but of a comic ran for president in america like i think schultz could pull it off i think schultz could be president someday it would definitely be uh he definitely would release his presidency in clips yes for sure to do it it would be short he would have it down turn your phone sideways yeah terry put sideways for a second this is why i'm running for president citizens of america he'll have t-shirt guns and [ __ ] you could do anything with a t-shirt gun you ever see people at a basketball game when the t-shirt guns come out isn't it wild that people care dude people will do t-shirts do you need if we took t-shirt guns right now to the ukraine war and just shot them off the soldiers would stop fighting to try to get the t-shirts um people do anything for a free t-shirt it is weird that that t-shirt thing is a the t-shirt gun's a thing it drives people they love it it's fun
it's fun yeah it's fun i mean you think it's also a numbers game right there's 15 000 people in a crowd and you're one of five people that catches a t-shirt it's pretty sweet it is sweet you know you know you can be that one person what do you think if we started thinking outside the box though for president because we're in a new era with a new level of technology that's changed the world so much like shouldn't we start thinking about like shouldn't the president be someone who's a pro who can like lea like overlooked but can lead like uh conjoined twins like we get like you know what i mean like who knows how to who better to teach us to get along along than two people like trapped in the same body have you ever seen that 60 minutes where there's like those two sisters they have one body and two heads you ever see segura's bid on that no it's rough what does he say it's rough it's hilarious but it's it's a tom segura bit you know it's [ __ ] he goes i don't want to say it i feel bad yeah well i would go the other way and say like those two girls can teach us like how to get along yeah maybe but you know there's a lot of other things you have to be aware of you know there's it's like to be a real leader is almost impossible i think we we need like a council of elders of wise people that's what i think i think the idea of running the government with one person is so preposterous you know although it's obviously not one person they have a cabinet they have a vice president there's a lot you know you have a legislative branch yeah yeah there's a lot a lot of checks and balances in place but it's still it's a popularity contest and every four years a person is new on the job and they have the the hardest job in the world and they just started like it's like well this is the thing that i mean i i can't imagine that it wasn't a factor that biden is so incompetent that it led putin to be more bold in his approach with ukraine i can't imagine that the the afghanistan pull-out which was so
disastrous and so poorly planned and it looked so terrible on the world stage i can't imagine that that didn't have an effect well there's one thing it does show and that it does throw a wrench in the whole trump was a russian asset thing okay because if he was a russian asset wouldn't the perfect time to invade have been when he was president because he wouldn't put these harsh sanctions on he would sort of go easy on him so that theory's kind of thrown out the window well that theory has been disproven by facts if you you look at how that whole propaganda stream was trumped up no pun intended that that was designed by you know propagandists they were they were trying to promote a fake narrative that he was in cahoots with the russians that he was a russian agent i mean you heard that from all these idiots on tv over and over and over again and now that it's been proven to not be true not only was it proven to not be true but it was proven that the hillary clinton campaign was involved with that and that they had even hacked into the trump servers they had hired people to hack into the servers and they were trying to push this narrative that he was in cahoots with russia yeah i think i think they're all messy all these people that you you deal with russia you deal with china there's a deal here and a deal there and there's money being passed around it's like everyone's compromised at a certain point and i don't think you get to that position of power without being in some way compromised by your relationships yeah i mean the whole pete on the hooker thing was hilarious it was hilarious and far-fetched that that would be something they could blackmail him with because trump just seems like the type of guy be like yeah i peed on a hooker you know yeah you know it's what i did they peed on him yeah he bit on him it's like yeah you should try he would probably go you should try it but he's more like a germ freak like they say he's a germ freak like with those elastic hands and things yeah oh he shakes hands yeah he shook my hand by the way he's got normal sized hands he doesn't normally yeah he's just a big dude i have pretty big hands you got paws his hands was like normal yeah
like i know when a guy has a tiny hand yeah you know yeah yeah he has a normal hand he should maybe he's just he's because he's a big dude right he's tall so maybe they just look a little smaller but he's got a boxy suit on to hide his fat yeah and so when you got a boxy suit on all your appendages look little they're hanging on this big suit yeah yeah he always uh yeah that's why i always felt like ice cube i feel like always wore a big shirt because i think he had sort of a pudgy he was pudgy big yeah yeah you know it makes you look less i mean if you're wearing tight clothes and you got a fat gut it's not a good look yeah you got to go black color that's what i'm doing right now yeah yeah but it's like that was this narrative that you know they were shaming him for his little hands like that's the weird thing about the left too is that you're not supposed to fat shame it's supposed to be body positivity it's you're not supposed to mock people for things that they can't control unless they don't fit with your narrative like it was a an opportunity to stand up to their own principles and they violated it instantaneously they're like look at his little hands probably got a little dick that was the implication the little hands are a little dick and that's why he wants to be a dictator right they did the same thing to uh huckabee sanders they just ripped her apart what are they doing talking about her luck yeah yeah well that was uh i mean did they really i mean michelle wolf had a funny hilarious bit about her when she was doing the white house correspondent speech i know she she did stand up and and trump was mocking her and that and all she said it's something about her [ __ ] smokey uh makeup yeah she's making fun of her makeup yeah it wasn't even that bad but i mean about it all people did attack her looks like from the left well yeah i mean if you were that was because they had eyes yeah like she looks true yeah she looks like someone who is like a teacher that you're like oh not this lady yeah like if you got a sub a substitute teacher it's like oh it's mississauga oh great you know yeah imagine that gig
what being a [ __ ] white house press secretary you just have to lie yeah she looks like uh jem sackey looks like um the chick from the big lebowski mr lebowski with the red haircut uh that was uh julianne moore and big labels no julianne moore's way hotter i know but the haircut and the red hair i don't know julian moore was hot that's nice you wouldn't throw in that you know that's shocking pretty good she's a greek girl too imagine the conversations you'd have to have before you got in bed with her she'd have great stories she makes them up she would she would you would have an argument with her and she wouldn't even try to be accurate she would just try to dance around the truth we'll circle back to that but what i'm trying to say what the president means is like when they have those speeches it's not about truth that's the most frustrating thing about that like when peter doozy from fox says well the president said this and this is like well i think you know the president means this and it's good for the world and it's good it's just [ __ ] and all they're trying to do is just make it sound good that's all those speeches are just make it sound okay make it sound good it's not about relaying information or facts or being accurate or transparent it's just about sounding good enough to get out of that with a win or at least a draw yeah that's all it is they're like lawyers for the president worse yeah worse because lawyers have to stick to facts well do they i mean when they come with some things they're they're quoting actual statistics and numbers and i mean yeah that has they have dockets right so they have um they have rather uh evidence so they look at the evidence like if you if the defense gets the evidence and the prosecution gets the evidence you get to look at it like that's not what the numbers are at all right like she can just lie right she just bullshits about things right right she [ __ ] about so many different things that are not true she said that the the uh the vaccines were fda approved gold standard approved like no
they're not they're not it's emergency youth authorization this is a lie you're saying it on television everybody knows this people are going to be able to look this up there's a lot of those things that she did was just it's just to make it sound good enough to get out of there with a w let me get out of there thank you bye no more questions like i got out of this one i'm okay right johnny cochran would be a good press secretary though he'd be a very good person i mean that's not i don't think he sticks to the truth you know some lawyers do lie of course i do yeah but the gloves did not fit so well that that is evidence he put him on and he went i couldn't remember mary went like this shoved his hand out wide tight leather gloves that is a wild story i'll never forget the day me and my girlfriend were sitting in front of the television in 1994 and we were watching the verdict 94 95 whatever it was watching the verdict on television and when they said not guilty she went like this she was shocked that's it that's the moment yeah who's that other guy what's this guy the white guy that's sleeping bailey they all died of cancer right didn't they all die cancer uh i i think um one of them a couple of murders johnny cochran had like a brain tumor i think yeah and he dropped he was smooth though yeah man all those guys man imagine knowing you got that guy off when he cut his wife's head off with a [ __ ] knife there's kardashian that's the patriarch kardashian that's the cuba goody junior thing yeah cuba gooding jr just kept getting in trouble is he out of trouble now is he okay i don't know he kept coming after cuba cutting junior what did he do he was getting very drunk and very handsy apparently at the very least there's a lot of accusations yeah just tube's partying like way too hard in in allegedly yeah in a very non-appropriate way in a very 1940s 50s way where you could get away with it when you're a star
probably deep into the 70s 70s yeah right like three years ago like like you imagine being like a humphrey bogart type character in the uh you know the old days when a movie star was a new thing yeah like they if you go back before humphrey i guess like who's like the original movie star was it charlie chaplin like who would be the first big movie star buster keaton they're definitely one of the first because there was still silent movies then right like say let's say buster keaton no one knew how to be a movie star and also this guy was a movie star like there's no there's no data on how to do that right right like now you can look at will smith and go okay don't smack comics right don't go on you're gonna like who knows how it's gonna affect his career right but it's probably not gonna be good right you know you could see mistakes that that famous people make and you go oh you don't wanna do that you don't wanna be alec baldwin you don't wanna be this guy you don't wanna be that guy and then you could kind of plan accordingly and learn from other people's mistakes because just the the unchecked ego with that amount of adulation and attention and worship like people worship stars big movie stars like when you when a guy like buster keaton or charlie chaplin or those early guys they had no one to model them yeah and yeah when you're that revered it's hard to get the truth nobody it's everyone's scared to say that's the like that's a problem with being king right everyone's like yeah whatever you say is true boss yeah if you don't self audit if you don't look at your own [ __ ] you you have no way of knowing if you're that insulated from the rest of the world it's kind of [ __ ] terrifying it's not good it's not it's not a good position because it's a it's a bad position for analyzing data and as a human being you kind of constantly analyze how much of am i lying to myself am i bullshitting are people bullshitting me am i being rude and i think i'm
justified but other people think it's terrible like let me look at this like i need to know where i'm coming from if you're that guy who shows up on the set and everyone's like mr smith can i get you a water mr smith would you here's the latest script here's the thing you look amazing can i have you lost weight and they're just like everyone's kissing your ass because they all want a promotion they all want to be working with you forever they're going to hitch their [ __ ] caboose to your with no the caboose is the engine and the caboose which one's the boost the back really yeah hit your wagon i think that's hit your wagon to the horse yeah but like what is the front one called the engine what's the [ __ ] what's the the motor what's the front of the plane all right the front of the train if it's a tesla it's a frunk they call it a front front trunk locomotive locomotive oh really i thought that was the whole thing nope the whole thing is called train oh so the locomotive is the front part oh i didn't know that that's why the butt's a caboose [Music] but imagine if you're a person who's trying to hitch your self to this rocket ship that is uh elvis you'll just say whatever elvis is like i'm gonna go to my room and do these pills and you're like adam's good for you boss yeah i would do the same thing if i was you i'm gonna go eat these ten cheeseburgers that's great bro they gave elvis a black belt yeah they gave elvis a black belt and he used to do demonstrations in karate with the big collar on you ever see him do that no oh they're amazing yeah you never seen the elvis karate demonstrations yeah oh you're honest no you see elvis in my opinion there's a cautionary tale in elvis because he was the legit first rock star the first rock star that was so big and he wasn't in a band either it was just elvis right so it wasn't like john and ringo and and george could sit around and go hey what the [ __ ] are we doing paul mccartney chimes in and like hey guys like we gotta [ __ ] we gotta do acid and that's what they did like they were like
we gotta find ourselves like this is crazy like our position right and so they started talking to gurus and they started doing psychedelics and i mean that's the white album that's a lot of their the later work that got really weird and like more artistic and and experimental that was based on their you know trying to expand their consciousness and deal with this insane level of of fame that they were at but elvis didn't have any of that he just had the pills right he would just take those pills and do karate so he's doing karate and he did karate with the sunglasses on and he had the collared shirt on when he was doing karate look at this and they would do demonstrations like look at this he's poking the eyes yeah poking the neck and they would punch him and he would just work on the king and so he would do this and he was trained by a legit guy ed parker who was like uh look at that these are terrible kicks bro that's terrible that's like me if i was [ __ ] around if i was drunk pretending i didn't know karate nah that your that would look better than that that would be like me doing it but it's like the difference between like a legitimate black belt of 2022 and a legitimate black belt of you know 1971 is very different too like the level of martial arts is much much higher now but at the time like ed parker was the dawn and elvis trained under ed parker and there's like these demonstrations where like three or four guys were like pressing on elvis neck and he like walks towards him and they all fall down to the ground and it's crazy and he's sweaty because he's pilled up he's like man that was amazing right it's amazing they're all like falling down on the ground they weren't really no but there's a lot of those yeah have you ever seen those you ever go to like uh mcdojo or what is it no but i got a new rabbit hole to go down now mcdojo live yeah mcdojo life on
instagram mcdojo life on instagram is this dude who uh puts up all of these fake martial arts videos all of his instagram feed is just there's so many of them out there man where guys like pretend like they're gonna go attack you and just you do like your cheap power and they fall to the ground but they're being serious like they really are pretending that it's really happening yeah and they're everywhere yeah elvis was involved in that power of belief i guess right until you get in there with a wrestler who wants to shoot at the body and then that just changes everything they change everything really because they just tackle you yeah yeah they just tackle it when you go like that you get into your stance and all that [ __ ] they just shoot any real martial artist like a real muay thai guy would just kick your [ __ ] legs out from under you try to do that chi [ __ ] but there's a lot of people that believe that stuff they believe in that cheat touch in that you know harnessing your inner energy i've had people have conversations with me about it i'm like okay okay you think that's real why don't why isn't someone using the ufc you know it'd be too dangerous it's too deadly also it's not something that you would do for entertainment purposes it's spiritual it's like okay yeah show me one guy show me one guy that can do that against a trained martial artist just to prove its efficacy yeah it doesn't exist yeah because the mma is like the that's where the truth is told that's where the rubber hits the road that's where the rubber hits the road as they say yeah that's the real deal yeah like you have an offer come show it show us how it works we found out everything about what was [ __ ] in martial arts in 1993 when hoyce gracie who weighed 175 pounds strangled everybody yeah and we were like oh fully clothed too yeah we're in pajamas he wore his whole thing yeah everybody up yeah jiu jitsu kimono and when they could headbutt him too right they could poke him they could [ __ ] pull his hair they could kick him in the nuts they couldn't get some guys who were
probably taking rights too all of them so many of them were taking boards and if you saw a hoist without a shirt on me he looks very fit but he was thin he was 175 pounds so he's 20 pounds less than me right and he's fighting against these giant dudes like huge wrestlers and huge sumo guys and all these [ __ ] karate guys and he [ __ ] everybody up and he he preferred if you were on top of him in in an advantageous position correct as well take me down yeah that's where he does work yeah you have no idea what's happening and he used to take some headbutts too like those oh my god the chemo fight that was a crazy fight because that was a perfect example of a gigantic roided up dude and hoist just [ __ ] dragged him into deep water and eventually armbard him yeah i love that the idea of that like a dude who looks like he could be behind a counter of like a guitar world who could just [ __ ] choke you out he looks like a chef yeah he just looks especially with the white idea with the white house yeah how would you like your steak cooked yeah yeah yeah nobody looks more like a chef though than tom segura and bert kreischer every time i see a clip of their videos if you put it on mute it just looks like two chefs talking shop oh yeah those dudes got chef faces yeah bird has that that chef who likes to party look yeah he always he just i just imagine he has crocs on when i see him i bet he does well he definitely has flip-flops on for sure flip-flops he wears flip-flops in the winter yeah he could be [ __ ] wisconsin in the winter bert's out there people from florida take florida with him florida he's a different kind of dude man he's just built different i've never seen a man drink as much as bert on a regular basis like tom and i were actually having a conversation about a couple days ago because i was a little worried because i'm watching these clips of bert and i'm like how big is he now and he's like he's 260. he goes he comes over my house we're going to do a pod because you know they do podcasts and tom has a studio out here in austin so bert flies in they do uh two bears one cave like they do it i think he flies in once a month and they
they film like four or five of them he goes bert stays in my house he goes 10 o'clock in the morning he starts drinking he wakes up and he's doing shots he goes he's drinking he's making margaritas i'm like what he goes he's drinking he's drinking all day he eats like a maniac he goes i've never seen anything like it he's just no restraint he has no restraint in like what he eats and what he wants to eat he just just shoves it all in his mouth and he tries to work out and work it off as much as he can but he's a [ __ ] animal he looks for a guy if those are if that's what he consumes he looks pretty good no one can do it no one else can do it his whatever his furnace is that look at him play this what is he saying what is on his head oh that's that's on the tv play it anyway let's give him some promotion comedy what with violence and jokes i just want to make sure everyone knows that at my show at the greek in los angeles oh he's the nobody he's the master of promotion no jokes made about anyone's family other than my own wait a minute i got a great joke about your wife being a [ __ ] let me hear it hold on she's not done mark norman will also be performing with me may 5th at the greek you got that right family affair wait a minute i got a great joke about your wife being a [ __ ] uh she blew me yesterday perfect i got a great joke about they got will smith on a loop in the background smacking chris ross that's a great show go to see it yeah those two dudes are beasts may 5th the greek in los angeles california he's an animal man he's a master of promoting his shows he's dedicated yeah he does drone footage and [ __ ] yeah he takes off his shirt for every one of them i did his podcast recently and uh i was staying at whitney cummings house and he was he was g he gave me a seminar he was like uh he's uh he's like over you know i was over there and he was like you know it'd be great he's like i'd love to see you use her house when she's not there and then plug your dates he's like getting hurt get in her bed
getting her bathtub your dog's in the bed with you yeah bring the dogs in dude i broke up a wicked dog fight at whitney's house oh she's got those rescue dogs man dude it was bloody if i wasn't there it would have been bad they well she gets bit sometimes herself she got her ear bitten off she's gotten a lot yeah she's got bites all over yeah she had to get her ear put back on whitney did yeah wow dog bitter [ __ ] ear off yeah she's dedicated to those dogs she gets these rescue dogs and the dog didn't even mean to just nipped at her a little bit like it would a dog yeah you know because a lot of them are not they're not domesticated really that well yeah and just you know if dogs don't like each other just it is what it is it's hard to make them like each other she gets a bunch of pit bulls too yeah and i used to have pit bulls and the the i love pit bulls i love them but i mean they're not crazy about other dogs it's got to be they are not no not happy with other bread their bread especially if other dogs talk [ __ ] yeah it's like mike tyson in his prime like what the [ __ ] did you just say like they're ready to go to the death yeah right away and little dogs always talk [ __ ] cause that's what they got because i feel bad for little dogs that we bred them that little it's like that thing is still a wolf and has no idea how small it is and it's it sees another dog and it just wants to go and they're also a little insecure they're like the joe pesci of dogs and then [ __ ] well the thing about rip them up pits is that they were bred for it they were literally bred for fighting so it's like there's genetics genetics genetics are interesting because it's i wonder how much of genetics are behavioral because we think of genetics as only being like your physical characteristics and your tendency towards diseases and this and that and like oh your family's from greece and these are the genetics and but there's there's something that's passed on between parents that's mental like there's there's something about mindset and and like dogs for instance somehow or another dogs like you've met marshall who's here today my dog like that dog the genetics of that dog is like this loving family
dog who's so kind and so obedient and listens like if i tell him hey man come here like i could talk to him like a person dude do me a favor sit down and he'll sit and i'll go you're such a good boy he'll start wagging his tail and i'll come over i'll just lie down man i'm trying to do a show and he'll lie down and he'll just hang out like you could talk to him but i've had other dogs he'd be like [ __ ] you yeah i'm not doing that like i'm a wolf i'm out here wandering like you can't teach wolves [ __ ] do you know that yeah i had a friend who had a wolf he had three wolves as a pet he had wolf dogs they're like part dog part wolf but mostly wolf no they're legal you can have i don't think you can have a wolf dog and he had him yeah he had three of them i mean this was early 2000s so you know 2001 to 2000 before me too so it's totally fine but those dogs aren't they're not dogs man they're wolves they don't listen to [ __ ] no i go are they trained no okay it's illegal to own a pure wolf um they're classified as an endangered and regulated species while it's legal to own a 98 98 2 wolf dog federally many states counties and cities are outlawing all wolves and wolf dogs any wolf or wolf dog found within these areas is immediately killed yeah i mean they're you know they're wolf they've got wolf in there yeah if you have a 98 wolf dog you got a wolf and nothing doesn't listen they don't listen and his dogs would get out and one time they got out and they went into uh he lived on a ranch and they went into the neighbors ranch and slaughtered like i don't know seven or eight sheep wolves be wolfen yeah that's what they do that's what they do dictators be dictator and wolves be wilfing they couldn't help themselves yeah like that's what they do like some some dogs like to chase a ball wolves like to kill sheep they like to kill sheep they love it they become passionate about it they were covered in blood and they came back to his house he's like oh [ __ ] christ yeah but you couldn't that was a [ __ ] good time for
them oh my god he was all upset and they were like what dude i just we were just partying we had a great time yeah party it'd be like us swat mosquitoes yeah just fun for them normal that's what they do i can't believe sometimes when i look at like a chihuahua whatever it i imagine that that thing shares like what is it 98 or 99 of the same dna as a wolf that a wolf and that thing could [ __ ] and make a dog well it's wild if you look at a male feminist and realize their ancestors were probably vikings it's the same thing that's actually that's a great analogy that's what's happening to men in this country they're they're being converted into pugs yeah it's really not a bit not really what it is that's talking about because they all used to be wolves yeah every dog used to be a wolf dude that's a great bit i'm just saying that is a great bit but that is what's happening yeah right if you see certain men and it's also happening because of plastics in the water you know i know uh christa stefano was talking about this recently on his instagram but he's he was incorrect about it he was saying that it makes you more um you have more of a chance of getting cancer it's not that it's um he was talking about taints being smaller and there's a woman named dr shanna swann and what they found is that phthalates which are a particular residue from plastics it's a chemical that comes from all the petrochemical products that we use plastics and things you microwave in and things you keep water in they all leak phthalates and these phthalates when applied to mammals they've done these studies where they show that there's a direct correlation between phthalates in their bloodstream and babies being born with smaller taints which is true yes it is true so it's the distance between your dick and your [ __ ] in males in mammals it's it's one of the best ways to recognize whether a mammal is a male or female because you know sometimes people see like hamsters or a puppy it's hard to
tell if it's a boy or girl you got to look at it real close especially if it's a furry one the best way to tell is the taints because taints and males are 50 to 100 larger than taints on females but because of exposure to phthalates the the taints are growing smaller and smaller the penis sizes are growing smaller and smaller testicle sizes are growing smaller and smaller sperm counts are dropping fertility rates are dropping rapidly and it's all has to do with plastic which is a part of the modern world so just like the modern world of like throwing meat to these wolves and getting them closer to the campfire led to the domestication of the wolf which led to them slowly getting turned into collies that's what's happening to humans are we are literally not just because of our environment and our society and the cushy nature of our existence in 2022 but also the introduction of petrochemical products is a direct correlation and this woman doctor shanna swan has this book called countdown it's [ __ ] terrifying because she's she's basically saying that this data wasn't even really uncovered until was it like 2015 jamie it's new it's for sure new very new the story i saw the other day microplastics have been found in air water food and now human blood well yeah that's that's the phthalates and it's also um plastics and also um different pesticides and different farming chemicals mike wow scientists tested the blood of 22 anonymous donors and found microplastics in 80 percent of them this is wild [ __ ] man because it's it's literally changing the hormonal profile and the reproductive systems of human beings yeah and making us weaker making us less masculine it's kind of pick your poison though right because like the modern world makes you live longer but sort of but you live like a [ __ ] you live like a [ __ ] previous research had found we inhale and ingest enough microplastic pieces of plastic create a credit card each week holy [ __ ] but until now scientists didn't know whether those particles were entering the bloodstream
ingest enough microscopic pieces of plastic to create a credit card each week holy [ __ ] man holy [ __ ] i click the thing it says there's about 2 000 tiny pieces of plastic each week that equal the weight of a credit card damn that but where's it coming from what's most of it's coming it says making their way into our food drinking water and even air but it says it's on cnn they might be lying do you [ __ ] it out or is it like becoming part of your body and is toxic no it becomes a part of your blood it gets in your bloodstream well this is the awareness of microplastics and their impact of the environment is increasing this study has helped provide an accurate calculation of ingestion rates for the first time so pull up that woman's book dr shanna swan i i recommend everybody if if you don't want to buy her book or get her audio book please at least listen to her on the podcast because it's [ __ ] wild so it's when she details the impact the direct correlation between the invention of these petrochemical products and where we're at right now in terms of like sperm rates taint sizes testicle sizes penis sizes and with women it's miscarriage rates and rates of fertility everything is getting affected by these plastics to the point where you know she's like you shouldn't use any of that stuff don't drink out of plastic bottles all that it's wild [ __ ] man it makes sense like it does make sense but it's terrifying that we didn't know about it until seven years ago yeah well that's what it seems like capitalism pushes something forward because it's uh cheap and efficient and it serves the bottom line and then we find out about the consequences like later because yeah the consequences are often inconvenienced to the bot and convenient to the bottom line yeah and they try to suppress it for as long as possible and then is there a way even to live without plastic in this age without completely revamping the entire society and that would probably take a hundred years don't they do like uh recyclable plastic they know how to make like potassium plastic out of potatoes
and things like that now no i don't know if it's specifically potatoes but sometimes you'll see like this plastic was made from something i don't understand it it's egg head [ __ ] but i don't know if they still use petrochemical products and making it out of potatoes i i would imagine they do because they have machines maybe it just doesn't get into the actual product but like i know they can make hemp plastic yeah and hemp plastic is actually biodegradable yeah there's a lot of [ __ ] they can make off of hemp hemp is a alien plant it's probably like um just has to do with if it costs more or not and plastic is probably the cheaper way or well we've been doing it this way for so long when did they start using plastics for like food and containers and [ __ ] it was probably like the 1950s probably right good guess yeah when was like that's when all like styrofoam was a big thing in the 80s and they're like that shit's never going to end up out of the landfills we got to stop using styrofoam yeah well think about how many times you drink coffee out of a styrofoam cup yeah if you have hot liquid in that cup for sure some of that plastic is getting into that larger scale plastic production began in the early 50s there you go good call man yeah so from that probably remembered it but from then to now you're talking about 70-ish years and in those 70-ish years most of what we use needs plastic everything has plastic there's the digital effect on it it's a lot of plastic humans have produced 18.2 trillion pounds of plastic the equivalent of one billion elephants [Laughter] since large-scale plastic production began in the early 1950s nearly 80 percent of that plastic is now in landfills holy [ __ ] by 2050 another 26.5 trillion pounds will be produced worldwide plastic flowing into the world's oceans rivers and lakes will increase from 11 million metric tons in 2016 to 29 million metric tons annually in 2040 the equivalent of dumping 70 pounds of plastic waste along every foot of the world's coastline according to the research from the pew charitable trusts you can eat or
breathe in about 2 000 tiny plastic particles each week my god most are ingested from bottled water and tap water whoa tap water tap water i don't know but the crazy thing is like this is like radically affecting our biology and we didn't even know about it when that lady was on this podcast i read the synopsis of her book and i was like wow that'd be interesting it was terrifying like i i thought like what she was going to say was i i had no idea was going to be that nuts that is crazy and then it was about taints and that your your taint is a great measure of like where you know how much phthalates you were you came in contact with when you're in the womb if we keep going will they collide yeah it'll be a cool ankle yeah like a duck you'll just have like uh it'd be easier to [ __ ] yourself i guess yeah sad yeah it's not good but that's i mean if you look at all the [ __ ] that's going on today where like we need to save the taints movement to get this awareness i would like to look at russian taints they're probably very long so the more masculine you are the bigger your taint essentially i don't know if that's the case but it's a direct relationship to the exposure to phthalates that it gets smaller i don't know if it's like you have a long super long taint it's like more masculine but on average male mammals have a 50 to 100 larger taint than the female mammals is there a correlation between dick size and masculinity i would imagine there has to be right i mean we think of it that way right you think of like a masculine man having a big dick right yeah i don't know i'm i'm just hoping there's not an ancient greeks that doesn't say much about what they were doing well you know you look at like the ancient roman statues they would make tiny dicks small on purpose because they felt like big dicks were like crude how did that how did that happen some little dick dude yeah sculptures i'm telling
you man you can with a little charisma you can get people to believe anything there was a vice article recently about how little dicks are making a comeback like what the [ __ ] does that mean i'm on board anybody like according to who but that's another one of those clicky articles is clickbait articles i think at this point it's safe to say there's too many journalists there's too many quote unquote journalists air quotes i saw this article about uh how some movie uh what was it the one with sharon stone what was that basic instinct and there was an article now about how it was problematic back then and you could just see the ratio in the comments people going like shut the [ __ ] up like maybe there's just too many of you guys at this point like this is not a story it's not just journalists it's the journalists that also consider themselves activists like they're shaping culture and society with their writing and musings and that they're trying to push a narrative and that you know ultra progressive woke narrative and they just they they won't stop with it they won't and these that i sent you that thing jamie about uh the will smith thing that's in the independent i sent you a text message you showed it this was hot yeah yeah jimmy dore sent this to me and it's like what the [ __ ] are you even saying here it says white outrage about will smith's slap is rooted in anti-blackness it's inequality in plain sight what and it's in the guardian it's kind of depressing they just get sucked into wokeness it's just kind of like performative pearl clutching hate no that was violence if you think that violence is cool you need to tell me where that line ends is it just slapping can i kick someone in the face if i don't like what they say like where does that end you just knew that this incident that was between two guys also they happen to both be african-american at some point there would be articles blaming white supremacy they're like dude i'm almost impressed by the leap of logic where you're going like yeah dude
yeah it is impressive that you're even going for it well it took a solid 48 hours for someone to concoct that like they had to sit there you ever see that [ __ ] um there's a meme of a woman there's all these like calculations to the background she's trying to like ponder something that doesn't make sense you seen those that's them sitting there i like trying to figure out how to put this and make it white supremacy it's inequality in plain sight what the [ __ ] are you saying the the good thing about this is that it's getting so ridiculous now that i think a lot of people who are just like casuals casuals are starting to go like all right we're starting to see a lot of people's point that this is sort of uh it's out of control it's out of control wouldn't you love if we had that guy on the podcast with us please map this out for us yeah yeah just you and me and that guy yeah i want to see your astounding logic yeah it'd be like all right all right now you're gonna have to use your imagination a little bit pearl clutching here's how it is pearl clutch it happened in america yeah and there's racism in the history of america it's rooted in racism yeah and america was founded on racism yes so if it happened in america and it's on television which is racist racist yeah yeah and the academy awards which is uh academy oh so white yes right oscar's also white yeah everything that i always find the people who are lying always say the most irrelevant things and that's how you know they're lying is it just a bunch of irrelevant information around what's germane to what happened that's how i that's my [ __ ] detector i'm going like you're speaking a lot about a lot of tangential irrelevant [ __ ] you're full of [ __ ] well it's like one of those charts where it's like you're trying to get to the center the center is white racism and you start off with here black man slaps other black man over a joke about a woman you know misogyny is rooted in white supremacy okay let's go to that outrage is on television which is racist and all it's all racist yeah somehow it finds its way back to you can't hold reliable yeah you can't let people just
go around slapping people and you just you just this that is whether you think it's violence or not it's violence it's violence it's violence it was a it was violence that happened on tv it was violent um i think comedians should stop hosting the oscars so they just tank because it's the only redeemable quality about that circle jerk yeah the only reason why anyone tunes in is to hear ricky gervais or whatever just yeah you know bring it down to earth and have some fun with it because otherwise we're just sitting there watching the most boring fake award show where studios pay for those awards did they really win it's a matter of taste they don't even have a comedy category go [ __ ] yourself yeah go [ __ ] yourself well can they even have a comedy category anymore we were talking about this the other day we were talking about all the great comedy movies like step brothers and you know there's so many great movies like could you make that movie today you could could not you couldn't make the office today no i've read articles about friends being problematic i've read articles about everything being problematic you couldn't do anything today i think stand-up comedy and maybe even more so memes on the internet is the last bastion of comedy in this crazy era because memes one of the beautiful things about memes is they're not credited right so you have no idea who made this hilarious meme and they just sent it out there and it's out there in the world yeah that's how you know you're living at a crazy time like that like mark twain had a you know was not his real name it was a pen name right a lot of people back then had pen names because they wanted to they were saying things that were sort of uh not accepted at the time and they didn't want the backlash so we're and that was a time when there was like slavery which is as backwards as you can get we're getting into a backwards time now if you want to say something true or make a real joke you're gonna have to hide behind some sort of anonymity it's getting bad it's getting weird it is getting it's getting really weird it's
getting weird but there's a lot of pushback now like you saw the pushback with chappelle where people are like no no [ __ ] you because like if the difference between this this is a perf this chappelle thing with his last special was the best example of it in my opinion because you saw the difference between the way critics rated his performance so when they had the critics rating on rotten tomatoes it was like everybody hated it was like three percent on rotten tomatoes and then the public rated it it was like 98 so i was like okay well obviously there's some sort of a divide there's a huge disconnect happening here because the people that watched it loved it and the people that rated it because they rated it for these publications that are essentially run by activists they decided it didn't fit the narrative and they hated it and they said it was problematic it's crazy the disconnect is crazy and now with like leah thomas you see how the people are like whoa whoa whoa whoa okay this is getting crazy but the establishment is still going like hey this is fine this is great what if leah thomas is just going undercover like 21 jump streets to crack brokenness to just or just doing some sort of gender research or to crack like maybe it's like 21 jump streets she's going undercover as a woman to get like maybe there's some huge corruption going on in collegiate swimming and female quidget swimming and she's just getting in there that would be good yeah what it is now is not good what it is now is assault on women's sports and the idea that anybody would think it's fair that someone who is number 462 as a man 462 in the nation is number one as a woman a year later yeah and that's fair you don't think maybe it was her passion for swimming that got her to number one could be it's just an amazing world changing diet could be it could be that could be just maybe just becoming her true self i can't think of any other factor it could be i i'm just going passion for swimming maybe you're probably right but it's it that might be the woke straw that breaks the society's camel back
you're starting to see a lot of those now because people are women are so frustrated because if you or or parents if your daughter is competing and they're competing against a trans woman it's not fair it's just not fair no matter what anybody says there's this nonsense idea of like well there's outliers and there's outliers and then there's biological males right that's beyond outliers there's always exceptions the ancient greeks you say there's no rule without an exception but you can't define what it is based on the exceptions well it's interesting because in all other aspects of society it's pretty much a given that you know a person can become trans and change their name and we're all pretty accepting of it where where people have the most pushback is in sports right athletic competition that's where the real pushback is right where people are like hey the [ __ ] right this is not fair this is clearly not fair there's a reason why we have a distinction between men and women sports and it's ironic because the people on that side usually always champion equality and nobody having an advantage and you know the people who are maybe disenfranchised or less capable should have an equal opportunity and by throwing someone like leah thomas um in there you're kind of um that's the opposite of that i think it's also probably terrible for the whole trans movement because it makes people more cynical about what the positive aspects of it are and it makes people more you know less likely to accept it because they think of now they think of trans people and trans rights and they connect it to this athletic thing it's a great point yeah that's it yeah it's probably making people more distrustful or more upset or less accepting people just go too extreme i mean it's just such an obvious thing uh the the advantage that anyone who's born biologically now especially someone who transitions after puberty i mean it's so obvious otherwise you would see a bunch of trans men uh tr you know women transitioning into men competing on a division one level
yeah or in the nba or nfl which you'll never see and we all know why you'll never see that it's because men are bigger and stronger so why does that rule apply to trans men and not to trans women it's the same it's their biological men by nature bigger stronger faster there will never be a trans man that will beat odell beckham jr no in a route race not only that like you can't compete as a trans man because you can't compete if you're taking exogenous testosterone like they test you for that stuff they do uh these carbon isotope tests where they they can test to see if you're taking because testosterone if you're taking it synthetically like it's gone it's actually made out from wild yams believe it or not yeah that's how they synthesize um artificial or exogenous to stop it's not artificial it's real it's just um it's synthetic so they wouldn't even let them compete no you can't compete if you take testosterone that's why men they used to have exemptions in the ufc for men to take testosterone if you had low testosterone it was a testosterone use exemption but the trt problem was that guys were taking enormous amounts of it and they were [ __ ] men up there's a direct correlation between the amount of testosterone you have physical performance your ability to recover quicker and also aggression and confidence that's these guys were getting juiced to the tits and go out there and [ __ ] people up and so then they came along and they regulated it and they said no more testosterone replacement and so then you saw these guys physiques melt interesting and this is when usada came along usada came along and started testing everybody first they abandoned the trt they wouldn't let people have exemptions and then once they did that then usada came along and started testing everybody for everything and then physiques just melted well i don't think they you should be allowed i guess that's great for guys but i think they should allow trans men to try to compete because that'll be the problem is what if a trans man just decides to juice up like
a [ __ ] werewolf god bless her for him i mean if there is a trans man who can compete in the nba or nfl i'm rooting for him could you match i'm rooting for them imagine if you got a female wnba player and you taught her martial arts and juiced her up and had her [ __ ] francis and gano up i want to see it could you imagine i can't imagine it's 2022 there's a lot that i can't imagine their clits grow you know that right they grow like a little dick i'm listening yeah when you uh take a lot of testosterone yeah for when you're female your clitoris grows easier to find yeah yeah i guess more meat to suck on yeah but would you be cool with sucking a thumb-sized [ __ ] i got no problem with it okay yeah i got no problem with it i'm greek i'm halfway there i'm not gay but if i went to prison i'm pretty good at it you're open it's your open-minded dna no yeah i mean i got no problem with that so like you if you took massive amounts for a long period of time which the thing is like they do have examples of that with female bodybuilders like female bodybuilders and it wrecks their body like they get ovarian cysts and all sorts of real problems and they have to take dht blockers like this it's it's horrible for them at the very least we can all admit that modernity has kind of created a lot of gray zones in sports because of supplements and so it is there are things to address right regardless of the trans issue it's kind of like what people are taking what they're not taking and what's fair and not fair that's why this exists in the first place right because there is no real balanced playing field because not everybody starts out the same way genetically right some people are just born better athletes than others some people are born taller some people born they can run faster some people born physically stronger and then you have to take into consideration where did you grow up like could you have access to better food do you have access to uh better coaching you have access to better recovery methods when you when you start competing and you have if
you've got money then you have access to all sorts of things that you can't afford if you're poor like is that how much of an advantage is it to have great vitamin supplementation and great food and you know recovery methods and regular massage and all these different things that people that are elite athletes are uh have access to so what would would you think there's a good what would you propose is a good way to regulate it for trans people or no just for athletics just taking trans people out of you because just athletics like how would you regulate everyone's levels and what would you make it legal or legal i think the the real problem is going to come along when gene therapy gets introduced to athletes and it's probably already been introduced on a foreign level in other countries where it's not regulated the way we regulate things here i guarantee you they're experimenting with gene therapy on a variety of athletes i could guarantee it i guarantee they're doing that and when they start doing that and they there's things that they are capable of doing like uh there's some examples like um there's there's gene editing that would make you have there's a thing called myostatin inhibitors and myostatin is what regulates the muscle size of the body and once they introduce myostatin inhibitors into the genetics of athletes you're going to get supercharged athletes who are built like the hulk like you've ever seen those cows that have a gene error and they have it's a myostatin inhibitor that's in their genetics and they have enormous muscles like because their their muscles don't get the signal stop growing at a specific point they just keep growing like the best example is whippets you know that dog a whippet yeah they're like a real thin dog right well in a small percentage of whippets they're born with this unusual gene that doesn't regulate myostatin and so myostatin gr is uh this uh this myostatin inhibitor that they have as a gene allows them to grow like that wow yeah so they like have you know i don't know four or five times the [ __ ] muscle that's in the cow
so see if you can get an article that explains what that was so that's a real cow it's a female cow with massive muscles and that's myostatins okay sierra those myostatins what do they mean for your herd let's see what it says there wow but they this is the thing they think they're going to be able to do with humans and there have been some humans that were born with this very rare genetic disorder okay the most obvious departure from normal in the phenotype of a double muscled animal is the enlargement of the muscle particularly in the rump or shoulder areas okay milestone go to the top myostatin is a gene mutation that results in unregulated muscle growth or double muscling most commonly seen in beef breeds such as british blue and limousine there are nine variants of the mutation that occur in differing levels of different breeds so this is with cows but they have observed it in certain humans like certain humans where we're born increased susceptibility to respiratory disease probably due to increased demands on aerobic metabolic activity increased meat tenderness and yield these mutations do not operate in isolation but interact with other genes in ways that are as yet poorly understood it is often the case that one copy the variant while increasing muscle mass may not bring with it any of the negative side effects mentioned above so the thing about it is if they can introduce that into a large population of wrestlers you i mean they would whatever country has that would dominate wrestling if they had great technique and elite athletes like great genetics and then they introduced this and they they just had unregulated muscle growth so they were like far stronger than anyone else far more athletic far more explosive literally the hulk you could make hulk people they would be built like the hulk in the avengers and then uh maybe ai may play a role in the future too right like if they i mean imagine sure neural link goes in your brain right you can telepathically know what the defender is
and then you got to turn off your neural link like and you're going oh that guy was secretly using his neural link right whatever right yeah or you could also maybe download every wrestling move that was ever invented and instead of training and you know doing it for years and years and breaking it down you know so that it's a part of your instincts you could get it so that it's it's literally dialed into your neurosystem from a download the future is wild wild wild yeah well i mean we are cave people we just don't know it we're literally neanderthals we're we're we're just primitive man we just think we're advanced because we have cell phones but we are still trapped in this monkey body this this biologically similar monkey body to people who live ten thousand years ago but ten thousand years from now i think this body is going to be unrecognizable i think we are going to be freaks i think this because you're not going to stop people from doing this in other countries and if we want to compete with them if there's an athletic proving ground like the olympics where countries are going to send their best and their brightest to compete against other countries to show national superiority you're going to have people using these genetic editing tools and then everything else that gets invented that shows peak performance and shows that you can you know accelerate people past what the physical limitations of the normal human body are could probably even be an advantage in comedy oh [ __ ] yeah dudes are just downloading stuff oh yeah yeah and you'd be smarter like you'd know like what really triggers people yeah once an ai comes along they can write great jokes yeah we're [ __ ] i don't follow that dude is that robot there tonight uh i'm not coming down but here's the thing like could an ai ever recreate a mitch hedberg right because mitch hedberg's jokes like even on paper they don't make sense they only make sense coming out of him yeah i
don't think no i think i don't think ai will ever be able to be as creative as humans because ai will never be able to enjoy drugs drugs uh tribute you can attribute a lot of creativity to drugs yeah will ai be able to like get high and just like think about [ __ ] well maybe we maybe ai can figure out what is the pathway that is traveled on in order for a drug to work like what is the thought process because ai is basically psychopaths kind of right yes they don't have emotions they don't have emotions and they're basically psychopaths they'll be able to do everything well but they won't have that little magic that comes from our vulnerability and our insecurities that makes great art well especially the thing about people like us we grew up without the internet yeah you know when we were kids we didn't have a ipad we didn't have an iphone when you went to school you couldn't just google the homework and google the you know the information and get the answers you had to read books you had to learn you had to talk to your friends you had to call them up i remember when they first came up with answering machines it was wild yeah he'd call somebody yeah he'd leave a message yeah and you would come home you see that little red light flashing like wow somebody likes me and he presses a button yeah and hey joe is giannis you want to play later you get real disappointed if it was like this is a t and t you're like oh i thought it was a friend yeah and then remember when um you had caller id oh yeah caller id came on you knew who was calling then you started not picking this [ __ ] guy yeah yeah that's what maybe when we first started isolating was caller id people started maybe starting to withdraw more and more and more or you get to be more selective not talk to idiots yeah see someone calling you like yikes there was something cool about not knowing who it was though like a little surprise you know what the cool thing was the risky thing when you're calling and you had call the beep that would come in hold on someone else is calling yeah you gotta take a chance do you remember when you
would uh i don't know if you ever did this but like if you were trying to get information from someone you had someone on the phone with the three-way and they didn't know the other person was there people did that a lot oh yeah they were silently listening you could do that with three-way when you get conference calling started oh yeah that's a sneaky movie yeah i never did that i didn't do that in high school it happened someone was talking [ __ ] about somebody talking [ __ ] be like i'ma put you on the phone you're ganging up with somebody gotcha [ __ ] uh yeah yeah all that stuff and then i remember the first phone i had i had a phone in my car in the 80s wow yeah you were making money like that and you know no i barely could afford it yeah it wasn't it wasn't really it was really shouldn't have had it but it did come in handy because i would get gigs because uh like bill blumen wright talks about it to this day you know bill brewman wright who owns the will turn in theater in boston i know that i've known him forever and uh he goes back in the 80s you were the first guy to have a phone i could call you up and get you gigs yeah because like i'd be on the road if somebody canceled like they got a flat tire they got in a car accident they couldn't make it he would be able to call me up and give me a gig and it happened like multiple times was it like the size of a shoe it was connected to the car yeah because it was in the car it was like sitting in between the seats and you pick it up and talk on it yeah was the reception good and everything was terrible he's terrible terrible yeah it was super expensive too like if you were roaming like if you drove uh you still in massachusetts you drove to a different part of the state you got hit with roaming charges it was like a buck a minute or something crazy yeah i remember with those days when like you couldn't call anyone in a different state because yeah nailed in prices well you remember when you had long distance rates yeah you would call someone in new york if you were living in california it was like you could only talk for so long because it's [ __ ] expensive yeah no if you had a family member who went to
california new york you just hoped they were okay yeah you couldn't call and check on them if you you know unless you really loved somebody you were gonna check on them if you didn't you were like you know what how much do you would actually you would actually monetize how much you cared about them to call california be like yeah is checking up on them worth 3.99 a minute yeah it's not it's not yeah so you'd send them a letter yeah they said a letter are you good are things good which is still the most amazing bargain that you can put a 25 cent stamp on whatever it was at the time and you would send a letter across the whole country yeah someone would deliver it for you yeah bring it to a guy in new hampshire yeah yeah that system was around for a while the post office is kind of [ __ ] amazing yeah the fact that that has existed for so long you just send things in the mail but now email is even more amazing way better and you what you're basically saying is that's going to happen in sports and everything else like it's like you're going to look at an athlete like that dude's kind of like the post office now because this dude's got the neural link in he's taking this supplement and can't compete anymore well once genetic ed editing comes into place there's going to be no more exceptions you know in the beginning the problem is the haves and the have-nots will be further divided than they've ever been before and elon was actually talking about this with the neural link he was saying that one of the problems is going to be that the access to information is going to be so incredible for someone who has the neuro link in that the their their bandwidth their their their ability to be productive is going to be so much greater they're going to get so far ahead so if they're competing in business if you're competing in anything that requires you to you know your intellectual capacity it's going to be greatly expanded and so people that are kind of making their way up and can't afford a newer link you're never going to be able to compete with these [ __ ] like guys like bill gates
they're immediately gonna get a hole drilled in their [ __ ] head and get that stuck in there all these like super competitive billionaire characters they're gonna accumulate it's insane amounts of wealth right so do you think since it's gonna be this sort of potpourri of different levels maybe just for the sake of argument what if we let trans athletes compete because then maybe nature kicks in and then women have to figure out a way to compete with the trans woman and maybe they evolve maybe that's like would force women's athletics into being watchable i'm kidding i'm joking because you don't want them i love female tennis you don't want women to become men you want you know but you know whatever you want doesn't matter we're on a path and it's not a path that cares about our sensibilities or our our hopes for the future it's a path that seems obsessed with technological innovation you know that's the thing that like you're not you're not going to avoid that man yeah so that's what i'm saying like if you can't avoid it anyway why not let it happen and then see how humans evolve maybe that's maybe that will be the impetus for women to become like imagine beating imagine being the woman who like legitimately beats a trans woman a trans woman who was and i'll be specific with leah thomas because i think it's relevant she was a male swimmer a year ago right so it's real i mean that is different you have to admit like that is different from competing against somebody who transitioned pre-pubescent yeah all those factors yeah like yeah that's that's different yeah imagine being a woman who finally you know and now she has a target to to get better at like you know a lot of times if you don't have you know the competition breeds the evolution it's a breeds the the um the motivation to want to yeah but what if that motivation is a woman has to turn into a man or has to adopt many of the characteristics of a man or has to accept some sort of genetic editing some sort of genetic editing that allows her to keep her
double x chromosomes but has the physical capacity of a xy of a male well maybe they'll be more chill to watch tv with you know more chill to hang out with maybe they won't want to just watch murder mysteries yeah maybe bravo won't be [ __ ] on as much i wonder if anybody's ever done a study what is this her last race she got eighth of course she did but there was another transgender racer that got fifth which is hilarious but when she got eighth i mean how many times has she been like listen maybe i'll [ __ ] sandbag this one it doesn't make sense otherwise maybe i need to slow it down yeah i mean she won when it mattered but then in some other race she was like i'm coming how come we haven't heard of the other one though but she's breaking records it's not just that she's winning she's breaking records and she's breaking records as a biological male who allegedly still has a penis yeah which means there's some level of testosterone it's also there's a guy derekmoreplatesmoredates.com who's got a youtube video who breaks down like what the thresholds are for a trans uh athlete versus for a biological female and the testosterone thresholds for a trans athlete i believe are quite a bit higher than they are for the average biological female right there's a lot of weird [ __ ] to it but man i think where this is all going unfortunately is cyborgs i think we're going to be cyborgs and i think we're going to be cyborgs quicker than we think i think it's going to happen very fast because i think if you look at the adoption of uh phones like how quickly we adopted it from 2000 what seven seven was the year where uh the iphone came out and if you go before that like the the amount of phone use cell phone use from like 2000 to 2007 was like steady increasing but then iphones came along now everybody has a [ __ ] cell phone virtually everybody you meet 99 of the people you meet have a phone and that was unthought of when i was a child that you'd everybody would have a phone they carry with them everywhere they go that's crazy so inside my lifetime what it means to be a human
being in the modern world has radically changed because of a very small device that fits right in your pocket it's it's it changes everything and this somehow or another so much power that you could use it all [ __ ] day long recognizes your face to unlock itself or your fingerprint how long before the next thing comes along that moves in a more rat like think about the human beings invented writing then they invented the printing press then they invented digital they invented the digital photography and the ability to publish online they invented video and film and video flying through the air and cell phone signals like all these things are just radical changes in the ability to express yourself and the ability the ability to access information radical radical changes the next thing that comes along if it's neuralink or if it's something similar it's probably going to be a bunch of competing technologies someone's going to figure out something that makes a super person and if that someone gets together with these biologists who are working on these myostatin inhibitors and they figure out how to gene edit so you can [ __ ] live 500 a thousand years and you've got some super intelligent hulk creature who what you we used to think of as a human being it's not this is all inside probability right like this is like those cows and the whippets they're real things right the technology that exists we already have technology that has allowed a person who's paralyzed from the neck down to use his mind to to control a cursor and you know the first thing he said i want a beer i saw that i saw that article yeah so this guy is some it was some crazy illness or something right wasn't it yeah he was paralyzed is it als so can't move but can use his mind to move around a cursor and request a beer yeah and so we know that you can communicate rudimentarily with your mind yeah how long before you can do it person to person yeah through some sort of a bluetooth type deal where you and i instead of like airdropping pictures to each other you know you can send me a photo of your dick and i'll be like ah
probably what humans will do or you know you could send a video that you watched and i can watch in my [ __ ] head crazy straight from your head crazy that's that's common man i mean we think that's so crazy but it's so crazy that you could get something on your phone where you can send me things like that yeah it's probably not that far away man it's probably not that far maybe a decade maybe two maybe three but that's gonna be like that's nothing in the greater scheme of the world if you if you had it say now you have to make a guess from now to 30 years from now how wild are the changes going to be are they being kind of sort of wild interesting not much different or are they going to be just exponentially more spectacular they got to be the latter yeah it's going to be the latter i mean if you because if you put it into context like you just did from when you grew up to now it's x the growth is extreme so that uh obviously points to it's gonna continue to be that it's not gonna stop and we're obsessed with the newest stuff like the i have an iphone 13 here it works great but i can't wait for the iphone 14. right why i don't know yeah i don't know it's not gonna do anything any different this i still have an iphone 11 one of my other phones the iphone 11. it works great yeah it works great i never had a problem with it i use it i make phone calls i said the pictures look great but i i would never buy one now i wanted 14. give me 14. capitalism motivates that because it's like the new thing to make money the new thing to make money materialism which is a weird [ __ ] thing that human beings are attached to that other animals aren't right i mean like my dog you know i have a my daughter's dog is with me right now for a little bit who's like a little chihuahua uh whippet mix little tiny fella and they compete over toys like they steal toys from each other but i think it's just like uh like there's like a weird sort of jealousy that dogs have they get jealous if the other dogs getting pet they come over they want to get pet too there's like this weird thing but they don't accumulate stuff and say i need more stuff and like we do
that like there's people out there that buy sneakers they can't stop buying sneakers they got closets full of sneakers like everlast he's got like giant claws stacks and stacks jamie's a [ __ ] snake the barry bones to come back and get him later though dogs know they try to eat the bones i thought that was like a thing from getting done get a real dog stop listening to cartoons for dogs dogs don't bury bones dogs eat them yeah you ever see a dog bury a bone no they gnaw on them yeah they bury stuff though they do maybe some dogs some dogs may but but if you give a dog a bone they only bury it to eat it later they don't want to accumulate like a yard full of bones they can bring their buddies over and show them off like this is my [ __ ] boneyard nice collection look at that look at this i got this one in the 70s when i first started collecting they resell them on a bone site for double the price depending on the market it's it's it is the thing that they bury bones but i think one of the reasons why they bury bones is because it makes them more edible like that's why bears do it you know bears bury bodies like if a bear kills a moose they bury the moose like smokes it like an arab in the desert yeah you should make it rot yeah yeah because um when you're an elk hunter and you are um you hunt an animal and you you shoot it and it goes down like sometimes they'll run and they'll run like maybe even 100 200 yards so one of the things you do is you wait like if you shoot an animal even if you know it's a very lethal hit you allow that animal to expire you don't want to bump it and what bumping it is is scaring it and then it gets an adrenaline rush and then it can keep running and then maybe you won't find it interesting sometimes they could run a mile when they would have just laid down and died right there but you know the the biology of a wild animal that's constantly getting hunted by mountain lions and wolves and like there is zero chance they're going to survive zero 100 chance they're getting eaten 100 those [ __ ] things are tough as [ __ ] so when they go down you got to wait and sometimes when you wait like you might sit there for like a smart hunter who's patient will
sit there for a half hour 45 minutes you know where they went you see a trail there's a blood trail but you wait let the animal peacefully expire hopefully they're dead instantly but sometimes they're not so you let the animal peacefully expire and then you go there and when you go there you're following a blood trail and sometimes you follow a blood trail and you find your animal and it's buried and you gotta get the [ __ ] out of there quick because that means a grizzly bear has claimed your animal that means it went there when that thing went down and it probably ate some of it in just a few short minutes and then covered it covered it with dirt maybe not even eaten it yet maybe plan on eating it later and then they'll cover it with dirt and then they'll back up and watch it and whoever is trying to come get it and you stumble along you think that's yours but that grizzly bear has different ideas and it weighs 900 pounds and it's just sitting there hey man that's my fridge and that's the last day of your life so when you're a hunter if you're hunting in places like montana montana has a big grizzly bear population for sure uh there's some other states that have uh grizzlies wyoming has grizzlies they have a lot of grizzlies colorado has there's some sightings of grizzlies in the san juans and in fact my um my friend adam greentree had a video of what he is certain is a grizzly bear that he saw in colorado he's like there's isolated grizzly bears there's been sightings and they think that some of them make it in and then leave but if you show up in alaska and you shoot a moose and that you get to the moose and it's buried you're [ __ ] like you're in a bad situation you got to get out of there wow i didn't know any of this in wyoming you have to give the animal to the bear right if a bear finds your and like if you have a elk tag in wyoming make sure this is true i don't want to be lying i think this is true um if you uh kill an animal in wyoming and it's claimed by a grizzly i believe you are required to leave that animal with the grizzly i don't think you're even
allowed to scare it off because you could scare it off or or not right or not or he says [ __ ] you or you might have to kill the grizzly and grizzlies are protected animals you can't hunt grizzly bears in the lower 48 you can hunt them in alaska right but there's no place in the united states where you can hunt grizzly bears in in in the lower 48 only in alaska is we're contributing to their demise right just by how much we keep populating and taking their hunting grounds it's somewhat for sure wyoming has asked but it's really they were wiped out a long time ago wyoming's asked the federal government to remove grizzly bears in and around yellowstone national park from protection under the endangered species act requested approved which have approved could allow the animals to be hunted the bear's recovery from as few as 136 animals when they were first protected as a threatened species in 1975 to more than a thousand today is a success story the state argued in its petition so that's what they do is they they get an animal that um it it gets to a point where it's no longer endangered and then they want to manage it and this is where it gets really sketchy with wildlife agencies and then environmental activists because the environmental activists will sue to make sure that they don't put like a hunting season on grizzly bears but then there's people that are wildlife biologists that say hey we have too many bears we have a problem with too many bear interactions with humans we have a very low elk population now in these areas because there's so many bears that they're killing all the calves we have to manage the population or we're going to have trouble like this it's a smart science-based approach to managing wildlife but managing wildlife means killing them that's what it means right right so the idea of killing a grizzly bear is abhorrent to a lot of people in this country and they associate it with kill a trophy killing like you're only killing this thing to stand over it like a great hunter like you're not even eating it right you're not even eating it like that's but it's also you have to manage them because if you don't manage
them if you're one of those guys that shoots a moose and you walk up on that thing and it's buried that is not your moose anymore it's on your moose see if you can find uh video of uh a bear burying a moose woman jailed for getting too close to grizzly bear at yellowstone park yeah that's different because yellowstone park everything is protected all the animals are protected that's not even really the wild it really is a park yellowstone park is so bizarre it's such it's a beautiful place have you been i haven't been but there's one species that's not protected that's gabby petito she was not protected in yellowstone how dare you i'm just saying i can't believe you went there a lot of people get killed i think it's just like you know people kill animals illegally within 100 yards that was what the thing was they called her harassment she was taking photos of it yeah you're not you're not allowed to do that in yellowstone park but see yellowstone park is not really the wild like there's people driving through and it is the wild and that there's no one feeding these animals they're wild animals but they they exist like no other wild animal like for instance i took all these selfies with elk that were over by the visitor station i was in front of a [ __ ] soda machine there was a soda machine i was buying a diet coke and i took a selfie of a bunch of elk just standing behind me which they don't do right in the wild they only do when they're in civilization like if you're in like evergreen colorado elk walk right down main street in the middle of all the cars it's crazy they have all these photos of these things because they know what civilization is right and they know there's very few predators there and they know no one shoots them there right so they figure that out so they'll go there so it's not totally wild it's like a weird combination of wild and a park like a pet like a [ __ ] zoo right right they're not worried about you at all right crazy video uh a bear joins a wolf pack and the wolf the wolf pack hunts this animal and the bear just steals it from him and they let it smart
wow well they don't got any say in the matter and they say they let them yeah it's a that's how wild are wolves man listen do wolves ever win that battle though just by tiring the bear out just like nipples we'll scare bears off sometimes you know especially if there's a lot of them and it becomes too uncomfortable for the bear but the thing about wolves is that they were almost completely eradicated from the united states until the 90s and then they brought wolves in over from canada which were bigger wolves they brought canadian wolves canadian wolves are like generally there's a thing with mammals like the colder the species is i forget what this is called see if you can google what this is called but it's uh the colder it is in their habitat the larger they are that's why polar bears are some of the biggest bears kodiak brown bears are some of the biggest bears it's cold as [ __ ] and there's a lot of food that combination is they develop the biggest [ __ ] animals it's part of that because they need body mass yes that's the thing with the mammals so like like for instance like deer if you get a deer in saskatchewan like a big white-tailed deer that's like 300 pounds a big white-tailed deer in mexico or in texas a big white-tailed deer's like 150 pounds it's like half the size they're a totally different looking animal they're like big bulky it's because of the cold and that's the same thing with the wolves is it the same thing with russians too because there's big [ __ ] russians i bet yeah vikings yeah vikings too scandinavians iceland yeah they're always winning the strongman competitions yeah these dudes are [ __ ] shocking yeah like the mountain yeah huge huge giant humans yeah maybe but those you got to think those are the ones that survived that harsh climate they have to be hearty as [ __ ] yeah special people i'm looking at there's no term for it but an article that's describing it mentions that while true with a lot of mammals it it's not necessarily true with like turtles snakes lizards reptiles there's like birds right it's true with mammals for some reason and with uh some lizards
it's actually the opposite which is weird because when you bring lizards to an island unlike every other animal every other animal you bring up to a small area they get smaller like that's why we have pygmy elephants pygmy elephants existed on an island even probably pygmies like people that are in small group are smaller people like that isle of florencis that had that like a little hobbit person that's like a little island that dude was living on and a lot of animals when they live on islands are smaller except reptiles reptiles get bigger like the komodo dragons yeah komodo islands not it's not a big place right it's not [ __ ] australia right and these things are giant they're the biggest [ __ ] lizards on earth they live in this one place it's uh do you think humans the same thing like i don't know i made the joke about the russians but like i noticed when i lived in miami i changed you just start dressing different the colors are lighter the buttons go down on your shirt more you want some air it's hot and [ __ ] huge yeah and then you go back to new york next thing you know it's like sweatshirt and even your posture changes like we really are we just adapt to our environments to some degree i wonder if that's true like what if that like warm humid climates made people like more passionate and wanted to [ __ ] more if you think about like the way you think about like cuba like romance and just [ __ ] manly men and women women like think about these hot muggy places yeah they're filled with like a lot of machismo yeah and they're warmer people like they're more emotional than you go up north and they're very cold and stoic and everything's cerebral and russians who's more [ __ ] cold-blooded than them they are there right the mongols back when those wow yes scandinavians too man wonderment i've done comedy in scandinavia and they clap yeah it's cerebral and they're inside most of the year very little sunlight i i think the environment has a giant play on a lot of the aspects of what makes a person a person that's why at the end of the day racism is kind of a
stupid thing because homo sapien sapiens they look different because of the environment 100 it's all the same [ __ ] stupid if you lived in a certain area over a certain amount of time you would look a certain way i mean it's just that's what it is that's what it is yeah that's the whole reason why we look different we're exactly that's why we we can have sex with each other and make babies yeah it's like other animals that like look similar they can't just [ __ ] each other yeah you know the diversity of human looks versus our actual like appearance is so it's versus our actual genetics is so different like we look like a different thing if you saw shaquille o'neal and uh yonemi park the lady who uh escaped north korea yeah who's one of the most frail people i've ever met in my life but brave as [ __ ] brave as [ __ ] and an incredible story and a brilliant woman but when you shake her hand it is like a small like matchsticks yeah she's so tiny yeah and she didn't have any food when she was young yeah i mean she's her her all of her bones and everything are very she's very slight and then you saw shaquille o'neal if you were from another planet and you had no idea what people are this is your first introduction to humans you would look at those two and go oh that's two different things yeah there's no way those two can have a baby yeah but they can they can somehow it would be fun to watch those two is it does he just plug her on and hold her and the him and the gymnast that is insane like how would he yeah i mean he's an enormous human and he looks great by the way shaq has uh been on a diet and he's been working out regularly and we look at pictures of them the other day he's got a six-pack now he's back huh he's dude he looks [ __ ] great adjusted his diet stopped eating [ __ ] and just decided to get in shape he he was a destroyer oh my god he was playing dude he would just guy that big with that speed and that power that's never been seen before if he had decided to be a ufc fighter instead of a basketball player he'd be the heavyweight champ in the world except he's too big for the heavyweight division the heavyweight division has a cap of 300 or 265 pounds shaq ain't
making 265 bro no no ron's barely making it barely barely well that's a good thing you could cut down to it look at it i mean that's one of the one of the things about inganu is he's one of the rare heavyweights who's a natural 270 280 and he cuts down to 265. you'd have to like invent someone to fight shaq yeah you have to like build someone or like the mountain like if the mountain got into mma you know like if he got into that early instead of becoming a strong man he literally couldn't fight in the ufc he's too big too big he's more than 350 pounds now and he's lost 100 pounds are they gonna ever create like a super heavyweight division for guys like that big there is a super heavyweight division but it's never been utilized in the ufc because there's not enough athletes there's not enough guys and you know they want fights to be exciting and you know the the the outliers like the shaquille o'neals and the thor's from game of thrones those are the ones who throw that into uh that make it a problem yeah because if if the sport really did get to a point i know it's incredible it's incredible shaq was amazing 301 pounds with 10 body fat look at that that is amazing bro if he and who knows he might get back down to that weight again yeah but the point is like he's not going to get 265 you're not going to ask a guy that's that lean and athletic to lose 35 pounds you can't do it it's too much weight but if they did get enough of those guys who really got into mma then you could see that that would be the real heavyweight champion because if you have like a shaquille o'neal who's like 310 pounds solid muscle and as good at basketball that good at fighting yeah oh my god how are you stopping that you can't you it's too big no you can't he's too big you know he's basically fair to fight him and he you know shaq is a martial artist he's he's a trained martial artist he trains constantly there's all these videos of him hitting pads and like grabbing guys and muay thai clinches and kneeing them in the body and knee knee in the pads while they're holding the pads dude you do not want none of that right no
none of that no no there's no maybe i could hit him first there's none of that yeah those guys are just genetic freaks i recently i had the opportunity to meet gronk and tyrell owens and the size of gronk's hands i have a picture of it dude his hand looked like a catcher's mitt like it was i mean he's six six six seven anyway but there's something about like uh basketball and football players hands it's like they have these little advantages i i my friend marco is six eight his hands are like proportionate to his body which are big but i mean gronk's hands looked abnormally big and so did tyrell owens hands they looked like he was wearing like a halloween costume it was insane well to be at the top of every sport i think you need all sorts of things going on you need genetics you need great coaching you need mental fortitude you need willpower determination and discipline you need all those things you can't have all those things but have little hands like you're you're never going to beat those guys who are born with big hands like you need the whole [ __ ] you need all the ingredients to make the perfect athlete soup but then you have those exceptions like a lawrence taylor or even charles barkley guys like that like lawrence taylor there's stories about him where he would show up at the game he was a linebacker for the giants and probably maybe the best linebacker of all time he would show up and be like who are we playing where am i i mean he was like smoking crack he was drunk i mean he was like he didn't train at all and then he went he went on the field and he just was like a guided missile of destruction yeah there's guys like that it's just super athletes super athletes they're super athletes bo jackson bo jackson's bo jackson was a super athlete who knows what changed about bo jackson's trajectory when he broke his hip because he was so powerful he was so powerful he got he blew his own body out with his own momentum like his own power he was just tackled weird no he was running i think he was running and he just like the force of his
running like ripped something i don't think that's true i think it was in the the tackling i think as going down his hip dislocated i'm pretty sure there's a video of it right it's got of course there is yeah this is it wow look how shitty the tvs were back there that can't be it that's a vhs tape there was something about this is just footage of him i think oh is this when it happened it says injury yeah this is it so right there it's when he goes down so right there yeah so in the going down the way he fell which didn't seem particularly brutal which just shows you how brutal football is because even regular tackles like that so on that one there's something inside anything that could have but it does i'm telling you man falling down is not good no falling down with a another super athlete dragging you down as you're running full clip so whatever happened he broke his hip yeah you're right and then they replaced his hip and you know knocks a [ __ ] home run with a bad hip with a fake hip he was a great good baseball player too that's crazy you know he's a big time bow hunter is he now yeah he's very proficient very good hunter and uh he's uh i was the last i heard he has to switch to a crossbow because his shoulders are so [ __ ] up he can't pull his bow back anymore football is rough oh dude dude the worst one i think i think the harshest it's like getting and getting hit by a mack truck and i you know i have a show where i we talk to athletes and i one of the questions i asked like two of them was like is there a difference getting hit in the cold like because those guys playing they say when it when you get hit in the cold you can't that you can't explain to someone else what it feels like when you get hit in like zero degree weather in like green bay first of all the ground's hard dude the sting of it is just like oh and the ground's hard yeah the ground's frozen i mean those guys can't walk for like two days you think about it you're basically playing on a block of ice like solid frozen ground in like minnesota in the winter you know what that feels like yeah it's concrete it's
crazy so you're getting tackled on the concrete yeah and you're getting hit by another guy going the speeds that they're going the power that the force of is getting hit like it's like a car accident on your body it is kind of crazy that they are playing when it's frozen when the ground's frozen that is so bad for you yeah it's basically playing on concrete cement yeah and a lot of times it's not even grass it's like turf oh yeah which is terrible for you right did you see um dion sanders was it dion sanders had to get his toes removed did he yes man he had turf toe that was so bad from his years of playing his toes were all [ __ ] up and broken and he had an operation on his toe to try to fix it and dion sanders reveals how he had two toes amputated following foot surgery complications so he had foot surgery right so they remove his big toe and one other toe because it was just all [ __ ] up and broken and they tried to straighten it out and when they tried to straighten it out apparently there was some sort of a blood issue where it started to die it started his toes started to turn black and they noticed it and then they were worried they were going to have to amputate they were going to have to amputate his foot maybe even his leg so they they got away with just amputating those toes but they had to amputate his big toe and the next toe over damn it got dark quick it said it's very scary [ __ ] yeah because necrosis when that happens following an injury following a surgery it's very very dangerous because that's what leads to all sorts of stuff like you know that's kind of could lead to gangrene it could lead to those kind of diseases of like your body's not healing it's rotting and it's gonna that spreads it could spread throughout your body and you could lose your leg you could lose your life like they were just trying to save his life and he was really worried they're gonna have to amputate his leg it's crazy like staph infections work that way right they just spread to staff and face and they can't do anything terrifying but amputate like they have no if it's too late they catch it too late so they
can't they have to amputate it stop it well you could just die you know people die from staff all the time brian callan knew knew this lady and her and her husband um they were like into like natural foods and [ __ ] and natural healing like that kind of stuff and so she gets a staph infection and she doesn't do [ __ ] about it she's trying to like take herbs and stuff and he goes over the house and he didn't know about this he goes over the house and he's like what's what's wrong with her her gums were bleeding he goes what's wrong with her she's got a staph infection she's treating he's like oh my god get her to a [ __ ] hospital they get into a hospital but apparently it was too late wow ari shafir and i were playing pool once yeah playing pool i see ari walking funny like why are you walking like that he goes i got a spider bite we have been doing jiu jitsu i bought ahri a year of jiu jitsu as a christmas gift hanukkah whatever so we go to uh we go uh to this the sidelines i go pull your pants up like let me see your knee he shows me his knee i go dude that's a staph infection i go you gotta go to the hospital right now i unscrew my cue he goes are you serious i go we're going to the hospital right [ __ ] now you got to get that dealt with immediately you could die and he's like why don't they [ __ ] tell you about that like they should [ __ ] tell you about that like it's not this should be giant signs up but they're they won't scare people off yeah they want to have signs like this is staff if you see this go to a doctor immediately you need antibiotics maybe even iv antibiotics so he got bit by a spider no no it wasn't a spider bite it was just a staph infection he thought it was a spider bite how did he get this jiu jitsu so you get scraped and it's like a common thing like there's certain gems that are known for it like um at one point in time during in the henzo gracie school which is like the one of the best jiu jitsu clubs on the planet that's in new york city they were in the basement and the basement doesn't get any sunlight and a bunch of people were getting staph infections and they weren't they couldn't eradicate it they're cleaning
the mats they're still getting staff the people like it was just sometimes it happens in gyms like a bunch of people get it and spreads through and they can [ __ ] you up man so if you didn't catch that anari he would be dead [ __ ] dead yeah he'd have been dead if he just kept going i mean i would assume eventually he would have gone to a hospital if he couldn't walk anymore and his whole leg turned black but i mean ari would have waited that long wow i don't even know if he had i think he had sag insurance but can you tell like was did he have any other symptoms besides no he was just limp limping i i just you know we used to play pool a lot and he was limping around the table i'm like what's going on and then he showed it to me and i was like dude we're going to the hospital dude and he was like what are you serious yeah your curiosity of save dari could it could happen i mean i mean maybe he would have gone to the hospital anyway but it was bad man it was a big fat zit like the size of a golf ball and it would have a big white head on it and i was like oh dude i go this is bad so that's what that's sort of looking for like there's that but there's also like dots my friend tate we were i had staff once i had staff twice uh my friend tate and i were at the airport waiting for our flight i had shorts on and now you know my like like leg crossed like that and he was looking at my calf he goes what's on your [ __ ] calf i looked over there's like these little red spots all over i'm like i don't know some [ __ ] he goes dude that's staff i go you think and he goes yeah he goes you need to get that checked out like right away i was like that staff i go i thought staff he goes staff could look like that too because i think it's staff so i go right to the doctor they do a swab of it and the doctor was like yeah that's staff she goes i'm going to give you a bunch of antibiotics and oral antibiotics and uh if this doesn't work i'm going to have to put you on an iv i'm like what and so they gave me these antibiotics that knocked me for a loop i am amazed that fighters fight when they're on antibiotics because like luke rockhold when he beat chris weidman he was on antibiotics for staff when he won when he beat him for the title they
drain you they make you so weak it's crazy how weak i felt i just maybe it's just maybe i'm just a [ __ ] which for sure i am but i i immediately was like tired and we i tried to work out i was like oh my god like this is what staff does for you or this is what antibiotics do fighting the staff which means the staff is intense it's the staff's intense and the antibiotics are intense but antibiotics knock you for a loop dude staff is scary scary that's scary mrsa which is even scarier which is that's medication resistance death and this mrsa is a lot of people catch it in hospitals when they have surgery and they have these like life-threatening infections because it's just ravaging your [ __ ] body and it's resistant to the antibiotics so what are the what do you do in that situation dude you stay in the hospital for a long ass time i have a buddy of mine who had to get his knee operated on he got a mrsa on his knee they opened him up like a fish and they had to like go into the area and try to disinfect it and try to kill the the infection it was horrible and he was in the hospital for a long time wow a long time he's he was an elite athlete of black belt and jiu jitsu is is a virus or a bacteria bacteria bacteria yeah it's and it's just trying to spread and live like everything they're trying to eat you quit trying to eat you and because of you know these medication resistant strains that have come from medications because they figure out a pathway past the antibiotic and then they just get into people in hospitals or you know you can catch it in other places too but i know a bunch of people have gotten mrsa and they're [ __ ] for a long time like months crazy scary dudes life always finds a way no matter what form of life just adapts wolves or bears or whatever whatever bacteria viruses see if you can find a video of a bear burying its kill because they they do bury their kill like a crocodile likes to take something they kill and stick it under a log let it rot just so it's easier easier to eat yeah they just stuff it under they'll either eat chunks of it while they can right there but if it's too much work they'll just shove you under a rock and leave
you there for a few days will wolves ever come around and try to sniff out and battle out battle the grizzly for the buried they'll try to scare them off they'll bark at them they'll come around them because they can smell the carcass underneath the ground wolves one thing wolves definitely do is they scare mountain lions off their food they've like we're places where wolves have increased in numbers mountain lions have decreased in numbers and there's a direct correlation between the two because what happens is wolves kill the kittens so this is one that's burying he's burying this elk dude does he um oh he just killed it he didn't bury it this is the 24 hour period it does it over the time i think okay they found him uh chasing that thing they they found him chasing it and killing it i think he's just he's just waiting for it to rot but see that's what they'll do they'll just hang over their their kill and look he's going to kind of cover it up with dirt and leave it there and then he's going to watch it from a distance that's going to be his territory now so if you killed that elk and you came over and it was covered in dirt like that like right there see how that elk is covered in dirt yeah that's the last [ __ ] you want to see the last [ __ ] you want to see is the elky shot covered in dirt because you don't know which way to get out of there yeah you might back up you go we gotta get out of here and that bear's behind you or you might go left and that's where the bears were you might go right so you're in the woods right and you got a 900 pound super predator that has claimed this animal that you shot and you're way too close to it and you have no idea where he is watching no idea yeah and you might not be able to get a shot off right because he's running at you has that ever happened to you or anyone you know yes people i know yeah what do they do they're just like they just slowly back away my friend steve ranella um and um remy warren and ryan callahan giannis putalis they were all on this trip in alaska and the very same thing happened they shot an elk and what they
did was it was a long trek to their camp and elk is a huge animal so what they decided to do was late in the afternoon they said we're going to hang this elk or i think they might have gutted it and left it but they're going to come back later so they come back later and they check and it hasn't been claimed they think they think it's fine but then they step and bear [ __ ] first clue and they're like okay is this fresh bear [ __ ] like what does this mean the elk hasn't been disturbed so they sit down and they're they're packing out the animal they dress the animal and they sit down and have lunch so they sit down here lunch and they hear a noise and they turn and they see an 11 11-foot bear sprinting full clip right at them just makes a mad run into their camp knocks guys flying steve said this thing was gnashing its teeth 18 inches from his face just runs by gnashing it's teeth a giant bear he said so big your whole body goes into reptilian mode you can't you're in full shock you're frozen one guy winds up on its back this guy dirtmouth he in the middle of the the scramble and the bear knocking these guys he is on the bear's back for like 100 feet as it's running down the hill did he do that consciously or just just happen in the melee where he lands on this thing's back and then it runs off into the woods no one had a gun ready no one is prepared and then they stop and then they they regroup and they try to figure out and they can hear it huffing at them through the woods like it's thinking about making another charge and they got their rifles ready now and that this is a monster move right like a legitimate monster movie it's not just nature did anyone get hurt from uh no they they got so fortunate wow they got so fortunate did he make another charge they got how did they get out of this no i think they yelled at it and they all had the rifles out and i think they got out of there i don't know if they left meat for the bear they might pretty sure they left like at least the gut pile i don't think they went back a second time yeah i don't remember though but but i i remember it
being a wild [ __ ] story and remy warren tells it on my podcast and steve vanella tells it and uh i think maybe steve just told him no he told it on my podcast and on his podcast on both but it's it's an extraordinary story because they're both really [ __ ] smart and articulate guys and they encounter what is you know one of the most horrific predators you could ever stumble into like a 900 pound thousand pound bed and this one's 11 feet because this is alaska they're the biggest ones because they have the most access to protein they're so big 11 feet so that was what i was saying about the wolves the wolves they brought down to yellowstone were from canada they're bigger wolves so i don't know if that's a hundred percent true are they gonna shrink you think because they're now in a different environment they probably shrink if they go to arizona right over like generation after generations right you know right but like the the red wolf that's on the east coast that's a smaller wolf and the gray wolf that used to live on the west coast had all been eradicated by farmers what they would do is they would shoot a an animal and they would fill it full of strychnine like they would literally pump its its veins filled with strychnine right after they killed it and just leave it there and the wolves would find it they would eat the carcass and they would all die and they did that over and over and over again until they they eradicated wolves from the west coast until the 90s in the 90s they decided to reintroduce them into yellowstone it's interesting it's an interesting thing because throughout history people have been terrified of wolves that's where the little red riding hood myth and you know three little pigs all that shit's wool everyone's scared of wolves right because wolves used to eat people yeah and the dogs they think the best theory is right that dogs evolved from gray wolves specifically yeah yeah and that uh you know we've always had this real weird relationship with them because they're beautiful and majestic but if you know you're a hiker and you go down the wrong path wolves will [ __ ] eat you yeah they don't they look cool because
they look like dogs the north western wolf known by many including as the mackenzie valley wolf the canadian timberwolf in the alaska timberwolf is the largest wolf in the world with an average wet male weighing 137 pounds while the average female weighs 101 pounds yeah so those are the biggest wolves but i think the ones that we had in north america were probably pretty similar but smaller but either way you know you don't want a 90 pound wolf [ __ ] you up either like they're they're amazing predators they can snap moose bones with their teeth yeah just to suck the marrow out it's amazing that we've created dogs that can [ __ ] up wolves have we though yeah there's dogs that can [ __ ] up wolves what dogs uh those mount what are they called there's a few breeds that they use to [ __ ] wolves up so do they have like wolf fights i think they do but i think they just have them for protection against wolves and they [ __ ] wolves up hmm yeah there's like we've created these big dogs can grow to 145 pounds and up to 33 inches tall surpassing most other massive dog breeds like great danes wow i didn't even know this thing was a real animal today in turkey and increasingly in the united states the viciously protective dogs are known and celebrated as wolf fighters whoa let me see a video of these dogs yeah look there's 13 dog breeds that can kill wolves wow interesting wolves and protect your house holy [ __ ] click on that dogs are just the most incredible animals oh there's that caucasian shepherd dog you ever seen that thing no that thing looks like that werewolf i have outside i'd like to see one of those bro i i came corso's too what the size of that thing [ __ ] shack a dog get the size of that thing it is so big to do that picture with that lady the first picture that you had bro yeah there's definitely a perspective thing like a guy holding a fish in front of him but either way that is a preposterous photo look at that one right there which is right now that's real yeah oh my god look at the size of this yeah damn that's a 200 pound dog so that dog can [ __ ] up a wolf i guess well
that's a you know if you can make a dog to be uh an english bulldog that can't walk and can't breathe right you can make a dog that can kill a wolf the thing i i think you could probably kill a wolf but a pack of wolves you're i think the pack wolf win will win on oh yeah yeah you don't want to [ __ ] with them well they're so much different than any other predator like that in that they operate as a unit and they think and they they set traps for animals yeah like wolves will funnel animals through the bottom of a canyon and they'll be waiting on the other side and they'll be waiting from the top so they can come down and the animals can't get away like they'll chase them into an area they'll corral them smart they're smart and they know they they all have roles and somehow another they know what their roles are yeah it's like a good basketball team yeah yeah this is what what is that thing oh my god that's a real animal what is that a common door and that could kill a wolf that's what it said wow made the list well i guess the wolf can't kill it how do you get to his body [ __ ] mop look at that mop that's crazy imagine taking that thing out in the texas summer yeah he would just drop dead look he can't even see his face bro that is a wild animal that seems like a like a jurassic park creature that doesn't seem like a real animal [ __ ] doesn't that seem like a fantasy animal yeah like it would talk yeah in a movie what it feels it looks like it was laying down and its head was down you wouldn't even know it's a dog that's real hungarian oh my god that is so crazy look at that thing laying there looks like spaghetti it's a bath mat that's a real dog right there that's insane no that's actual bath mat that can't be a real dog i guess their dog named forever goes viral for swimming video wow oh that's a dog out of the pool wow that dog's like gracie it doesn't look like he can [ __ ] you up it'll [ __ ] you out isn't that crazy poodles will [ __ ] you up poodles can be nasty the big ass poodles yeah they just look cute and
they make them with the crazy haircuts yeah you know it's a nasty dog that a lot of people think isn't is a dalmatian it's a nasty dog they use those to protect the horses the old school they were used to protect horses that would um go to fires and they're they're nasty a lot of people get down dalmatians because they're pretty and they look great and they're beautiful but they're nasty dogs down there wow yeah i i've heard they bite people yeah and then there was a thing after not that they all of them bite people like there's been some instances there's a thing after 101 dalmatians where people thought oh that's a cute dog [Laughter] my kid is dead well huskies bite people i know that huskies look like wolves yeah i mean i don't think huskies are wolves i'm not stupid but how close do they look like they look like the it looks like a it looks like it looks like a wolf it looks so close it's like a wolf yeah pulled picture of a husky up so german shepherds look very wolf like too oh yeah yeah sort of belgium almost a lot of those long like that's so close yeah i mean it's clearly a husky but man it looks a lot like a wall it looks like a hot wolf yeah like a well well groomed wolf they i mean they definitely look different right it looks more softened it doesn't look quite as terrifying not even close to his terrifying but they really look [ __ ] similar like how closely related are huskies to wolves find that up like how many can they follow like are is a pug more removed from a wolf than a husky like how does it work for sure yeah for sure there's certain dogs that are closer without a doubt a pug is obviously not as close as yeah a dog measure it i'm sure they can yeah i'm sure but how do they measure it if they're all at one point in time wolves maybe they look at the dna somehow right i wonder what it is that makes a husky look so much more like a wolf anything
i'm getting into it uh they were it looks like they might have been bred in the 30s first american kind of club formerly recognized the siberian husky in 1930 oh wow yeah maybe they just breed them down less it's just like they stop it they go all right we want something vicious and then it you know something strong it does the job or whatever it is and it's closer to a wolf than a pug that just kind of sits around they keep breeding it down breathing it down breathing it down just gets farther and farther away from the original thing i was listening to a radio lab podcast they were talking about how they did this really quickly with foxes they had foxes and the foxes had like uh you know they had them kept in cages and if you got near the fox if it growled at any of the scientists they would shoot it and kill it so all the ones that expressed any sort of aggression towards people that killed and then they slowly started feeding these things and taking care of these things and over time and not that many generations their ears started to flop their snouts started to shorten they became more less soft looking and less intimidating looking it like changed what these foxes looked like in a short amount of time it's crazy yeah i don't remember how long the demonstration was or how long the experimentation went you could probably not do that with any other animal i remember reading once that the dogs have this unique malleable gene that no other species no other animal has and that's why we're able to kind of tailor them for jobs in generations because of this specific malleable gene i mean i don't know what it's called but it's something unique to canines i think this is true that there's also something about dogs eyes that dogs possess an ability to express emotion with their eyes that wolves don't see if that's true because i'm pretty sure that's true that i had read that or heard that that dogs have a you know a dog can look at you and they express things with their eyes wolves just look at you all the time like this yeah wolves just they don't have that ability to express emotion with their eyes right yeah the puppy dog face the puppy dog eyes oh
okay what does it say i'm trying to get to the article about it oh so that's what they call it a puppy dog i'm trying to see if it's just about a wolf knot doing it hmm yeah it's a special muscle that dogs did develop though over time that didn't exist yeah it says this facial muscle that's [ __ ] wild well many people's hearts that does not exist in wolves the ancestor of dogs wow it's a muscle and just to let us know that you know you love me yeah and sweet like my dog marshall he definitely got that [ __ ] oh hell yeah he looks right at you yeah he's a loving dog he's a sweetie i love when they try to figure you out what you're doing and they turn their head they're like what is it what is he trying what is he saying to me i used to have a dog and when i would say to her do you want to go for a walk yeah go for a walk jump off the tail start wagging go for a walk oh yeah i want to go are we going for a [ __ ] walk [ __ ] yeah they get pumped about everything there i think also uh endorphins are released in both animals like the relationship between oh yeah humans and dogs that it they're good for you because uh the interaction releases of both species release endorphins i mean i make fun of it but the the there's a reality of an emotional support dog like dogs give you uh they give you a good feeling like a drug there's love there's love and dogs when i come home and there's no one in the house but my dog yeah i'm like what's up dog is pumped yeah i'm like what's up you know and then i'll take him out to pee we'll hang out outside a little bit we'll play like he's so happy to see you i've never had a dog that's like more connected to people than that dog that marshall yeah he's so connected to people he loves he said what's up to everybody in that room he's like what's up what's up everybody he does the route and then he comes back and does it again he was in this room he would be doing that he'd be over by jamie hey jamie if he was a comic he'd do great in the business he's a great networker be amazing networker
yeah yeah he's just a love sponge my friend mike said that that's what they uh they call what he calls uh golden retrievers they're love sponges yeah and then but there's other animals that are just [ __ ] not that agreeable you know and you need those animals for like certain tasks like if you're going to fight off wolves marshall is not your huckleberry no that's not that's fighting what's up like why are you dudes not acting chill i remember a dog bit him once when we were running and uh it was weird was a yellow lab there was a yellow lab that was like a bad dog that lived on our street and so i'm running down the hills with marshall and then this guy comes with the yellow lab and he doesn't have control of the dog and he the dog just runs up to marshall and bites him and and i have to run over and break it up and i'm breaking it up and marshall was like what the hell like this is his look like what i can't even like he didn't fight back at all yeah he didn't fight back at all he didn't know what to do and he was only like one at a time he was a puppy still but it was like what the [ __ ] like he'd never imagined someone would bite him yeah like i'm your friend yeah i come here to say hi yeah did he change after that did he get like insecure around dogs or did it make it no no i mean i i was a little more careful with them after that you know and like in certain areas where i knew that these people on the trails i would put them on a leash yeah you know but most of the time we would run this one area it was like kind of like precarious terrain and i was like the only one running it most of the time with marshall it's amazing how dogs just either like each other or don't and they figure it out quick and it kind of doesn't change it's kind they're kind of like women in that way well some dogs just don't like other dogs yeah and they know immediately from a smell or something or they don't like other dogs at all like any dog no but even just with personalities sometimes two dogs don't get along and
somehow they know when they meet and it's like it doesn't well some dogs don't like people like certain people like they're like you they come on and then someone else walk in the room like this [ __ ] like bro dog doesn't like you yeah they could just decide not to like a person yeah i wonder why i wonder what it is i bet they can smell weirdness yeah i bet if you are scared of the dog i bet the dog catches those vibes and maybe you seem erratic like you might do something stupid right and the dog's like oh look at this dumb [ __ ] yeah look at the dog staring at you and it's like oh he doesn't like you no he's like worried about you right he might do something dumb like he's he's a protector right so if a dog is around its owner and then a person walks over that's like super nervous the dog probably thinks oh this guy's going to jack my owner you know right they probably can smell [ __ ] that we can't even imagine their noses are so much more sensitive than ours it's like a superpower it's insane they can smell for like a mile away they can yeah yeah crazy they have insane noses but you're ready for this a bear's nose is like nine times stronger i believe it yeah a bear's nose is like one of the most preposterous things in all of nature they can smell [ __ ] way better than a bloodhound can wow they can smell people like uh 800 yards away wow there's been videos of guys on hills like spying on these bears with binoculars and they feel wind at the back of their necks the wind is behind them and the bear just goes like that with his nose and runs crazy do you think the football fields crazy do you think the dogs are like in touch like that gut feeling we have is the same instinct that all animals have like a dog has but we just cause the gut always ends up being right for the most part sometimes yeah i had a finnish friend who once explained it to me as like always listen to your gut because that's millions of years of survival instinct from all your uh ancestors beyond when they were human like that feeling that's what that is and i was like oh that's a cool way to describe what that gut feeling is there's got to be some of that there's
going to be something to that they say the gut is also like when when people talk about like feeling things like with their heart like when you you know like you trust your heart like that kind like your heart has a bunch of neurons in it like i think it has the sac then we google this with like the second most amount of neurons in the like that body the heart does do the stomach too so they all have neurons and so it's like trust your heart trust your gut i think those things those sayings come from a real thing like maybe you could feel certain and maybe we're like less connected to it because we've gotten used to cities and supermarkets and all the [ __ ] that we deal with today that's kind of softened us and turned us into human pugs but i bet those instincts are still there in like times of danger right right they pop up okay here it is the human gut is lined with more than 100 million nerve cells it's practically a brain unto itself and indeed the gut actually talks to the brain releasing hormones into the bloodstream that over the course of about 10 minutes tell us how hungry it is or that we shouldn't have eaten an entire pizza well that's well so actually there is some science behind what you feel in your gut and also those expressions um yeah dr amore in 1991 discovered that the heart has its little brain or intrinsic cardiac nervous system this heart brain is composed of approximately 40 000 neurons that are alike neurons in the brain meaning that the heart has its own nervous system wild i did not know that at all that's crazy that's crazy so trust your heart trust your gut yeah there's something to that like something to that so imagine that but now imagine that with like a wolf imagine what they can sense they probably sense so many things they probably sense anger they probably sense like heightened awareness calmness where you're they probably can tell like what you're gonna do before you do it yeah it's probably one of the reasons why they can communicate with each other they're probably like
signaling their intent through smells like when they see a moose and they're hungry they probably signal their intent through smells they probably signal their intent either to chase the moose or to be one of the ones that sneaks up behind it when you are chasing it towards it they probably figure it out through smells right because they're not talking right they're sneaky i wonder if like prehistoric man is better at reading people probably because it meant the survival of their tribe yeah so like they could probably they were probably much more in touch with that they'd be like oh this dude is weak or this dude's a character this dude's too faced or whatever for sure right i mean if you're you're your survival relied on you being able to tell what a person is capable of or not capable of fairly quickly they're probably more tuned in much more they had because if they weren't maybe like psychopaths and psychopaths would have uh propagated more and like maybe because like if you're in a tribe back then if you were like all out for yourself right it was probably bad for the tribe oh yeah definitely and so they probably sniffed you out and were like [ __ ] you and then the psychopath had to go yeah like if a tribe found out that someone was hoarding food or taking more than their own chair or just being like nefarious or manipulative like trying to sew division because trying to kill the chief because they want to be the champion they want to be the chief they probably sniffed that [ __ ] out i mean how many coup attempts have there been on chiefs and tribes yeah it's like almost nobody would make it to the end of their reign without someone trying to take them out nobody nobody it's not human nature to it's human nature you've been able to try to do it yeah yeah for sure they probably had you know over time it probably evolved i need an advisor i need this because they took out that dude and then maybe the tribe like the chief has a bunch of wives yeah and one of the guys starts secretly banging the wife [Laughter]
because the chief can't [ __ ] all of them yeah no because like you know some of those guys have like a gang of wives yeah so people are like [ __ ] him why does he have so many wives right isn't that funny that that's one of the cult leaders and always always always they always [ __ ] a lot of women is always part of what their religion somehow yeah any cult i mean anything where someone's gonna be the top dog you know they say that was what was going on the catholic church before they made them be celibate that priests used to be banging everybody they were rock stars so that came later where they made it yeah celibacy was introduced to the catholic church and i i think part of it was because they had too much influence and too much power they were probably [ __ ] everybody i didn't know that i thought that started as that that's it take yourself back to the time before the bible was translated like in into a bunch of different languages like before martin luther if you had the bible it was in latin you had to be able to read latin how many people knew latin right right so it's like a protected priest class they knew how to do this and you were the literal messenger of god right you were pious and they probably [ __ ] everybody right if you you were in charge like preachers do evangelists we just assume those guys [ __ ] a lot yeah they do you know they all you know they do yeah like during that jim baker scandal of course he [ __ ] they always [ __ ] [ __ ] he's always one of my favorite rock star yeah one of my favorite store yeah like dude uh joel osteen is a star star he plays arena yeah dude is a star beautiful hair he's got looks fantastic looks fantastic nice suits yeah my favorite is that story recently where they found like 600 grand or something in the bathroom of the church did you hear about that i did hear about that yeah i love that story was that his
church that was his church he's got money buried in the walls he got money literally just in case they come for him what year was celibacy introduced into the catholic church a long long time ago like at first that said a thousand years ago basically but now i'm seeing the first written mandate requiring peace to be priest to become chaste came in three ad304 four so the year 304 that's when they got tired of priest [ __ ] everybody that's the only explanation priests they they mutated in a weird way after that like yeah they mutated in a bad way mutated to be a worse virus imagine uh any other religion because the cove i mean covet brother the catholic church the reason why they're allowed to get away with what they get away with because they've been around so long here's a quote from paul in his first letter to the corinthians right here recommend celibacy for women to the unmarried and the widows i say that it is well for them to remain single as i do but if they cannot exercise self-control they should marry for it is better to marry than be a flame with passion whoa imagine how they thought about things back then but that is women that's that's telling women but that's in the bible just telling women to be you know don't be a hope you know all religions uh it's written by insecure dudes like hey ladies don't be aflame with passion don't enjoy sex at all you're there for your dude imagine how wild people must have [ __ ] back then too yeah a flame with passion flame with passion you know there were wilder people yeah but we really did oppress women's sexuality till recently i mean like of course yeah look at what's happening in other parts of the world right now yeah but places where women are still getting their clits cut off yeah yeah and like they recently like are trying to understand their orgasms like the last hundred years or 50 years or whatever it is like women's liberation like they're understanding the power they have multiple orgasms i mean you could really enjoy sex if you're a woman when do you think women more than men
what do you think it was like back then do you think there it was probably commonplace rape was probably commonplace beatings were probably commonplace yeah yeah there were i mean my grandfather this is a true story my grandfather was born on a small island that used to be called imbros which is now turkish it's got a turkish name but during the ottoman empire there was like a local sultan i guess they had like these viceroys that were set up around the ottoman empire that kind of controlled the region like pontius pilate was in the roman empire and he was known for like raping kids so my great-grandparents sent him to egypt because they didn't want him to be raped by the sultan and he never returned he never saw his family again he grew up in egypt and then from egypt he came to america but that's a true story so that was his life story i mean that's what he had to deal with that yeah that was during the ottoman empire when greeks were slaves wow so i think a great portion history is just full of brutality british brutality you know in uh russia it's still legal to hit your wife i didn't know that domestic violence is not against the law make sure that's true make sure that's true yeah it's just true i i wish people in america would realize that more like you know the the the real flaw and freedom and the real irony to the amount you when you complain is that you're allowed to complain which means you have it good yeah that's sort of the oxymoron of it all like you're complaining a lot because you feel like something's wrong but that you're able to complain is an indication of how good you have it because try to bring up those complaints to king z or whoever the [ __ ] and you just disappear yeah they'll cut you in half yeah in front of your kids what does it say january 2017 lawmakers voted 30 to 3 to decriminalize certain forms of domestic violence under the new law first time offenses that did
not reach that did not result rather in serious bodily harm carrying a maximum fine of 30 000 rubies rubles up to 15 days administrative arrest or up to 120 hours of community service wow they decriminalized domestic violence in 2017. jesus that was christ a few years ago yeah jesus that's basically giving a green light to the pimp slap to what what will smith did yeah to chris rock that is not a crime to do to your wife in russia yeah chris rock should have [ __ ] hit him back he should have jumped on his back as soon as he turned his back like that that just filled him through an mma brain 100 percent you take us back you know listen man here's the reality you don't slap a man in the face and then turn your back and walk away unless you should have never slapped that man in the first place because you're only slapping a guy who you know can't slap you back that's why i slapped him yeah that's the only reason why he slapped him and then turned his back and walked away look if he slapped him and then stood his ground and waited for a return and was ready to go to war that's one thing when you slap a man you turn around and go back to your seat that is a sure sign you should not have slapped that man yeah it's not fair i just had this image of a movie like the karate kid where chris rock just shows up in austin he's like hey joe you know treat me i was thinking to my friends last night i was like imagine chris rock had just a year of solid jiu jitsu training under his belt and as soon as he took us back as soon as will smith turns his back he just leaps and takes his back and just squeezes will out before the [ __ ] before the security guards can get to him will smith goes out wipes that smirk off will smith's face listen apparently they worked it out like uh i i'd read that they talked and will smith made a statement and chris rock even apologized and apparently they talked backstage and worked it out which is the best i don't think will smith should go to jail i don't think any of that stuff should happen i don't think they should take away his academy award i think he knows it was a foolish act
everybody else knows and i think it's one of those learning experiences for the world it's like a teachable moment right like the whole world can see that we put stars and celebrities up on pedestals but they're just human beings and sometimes human beings get pushed to the point where they do something irrational right and that's what he did he just did something totally irrational that he's completely embarrassed by right good well you know that's what you get for marrying a woman with a head shot that's not bobby kelly told me a long time ago no headshots don't marry a woman with a headshot yeah i mean there's two egos you know there's two egos and yeah but it works in some cases in some cases it does work if you meet the perfect woman and she has a headshot who cares yeah like look at tom sagar and christina positsky that works there's a few a few examples bonnie mcfarlane and rich vos totally works that works and it works off each other those guys are hilarious they are hilarious hilarious together hilarious steve carell and nancy walls i think are both comics there's plenty of examples yeah yeah it's plenty of examples yes natasha legero and moshe cashier casual great example yes it works out in some cases yes it does but it can be problematic yeah yeah aliens can be hard to be friend i mean these comedians that neither of us can be friends with yeah you know you know he's too much he's just like some of them you know like you say hi to him you try to be civil when you see him but they don't really have any friends right those are weird guys man how do you deal with friendship now like how do you you're in such a you like do you have to be you have to vet more like how does it like what's your barometer how do you measure like who you like and who you doing is it a gut feeling is it a little bit of a gut feeling just talking to people getting to know him but you know i have a lot of really good friends already that helps do you feel like the older you get the less friends you need because i find that i feel like there's that but there's like the less acquaintances you need because you want to spend more time
with your really good friends like if i hang out with one of my friends you know i'm hanging out with him for hours right we're going we're going to do a show together maybe we're going to go get some dinner together we're hanging out for hours and laughing like it's just there's so many things i like to do i have so much uh so many interests i don't have time to be spending time with people that i'm not really interested in talking to so there's no room yeah it's like i have a lot of friends and also as you get older do you think there's some subconscious realization that there's just less time available so i want to make the most because time is actually more valuable than money right it's the only thing you can't get back yeah time and health yeah health is the most valuable thing well the health gives you time yes it helps you you know you can appreciate your time because you're not suffering um yeah i know man the way i manage it is like the way i manage everything i just be myself and yeah you know there's there's all kinds of cool people that you know are just regular folks it's they get they do get weirded out when they meet a famous person but after a while they get used to it yeah you know well you got comic vibe even the first time i met you it was like you know it was intimidating first time doing the show but like a few people mentioned i remember schultz saying that like after he did it he's like he's a comic man and then when i came in the first time i felt that way i was like yeah there's a certain down-to-earthness that comics have because we kind of need it you have to have to have it or else you kind of disconnected from what you need to do as your job yeah your job is to connect to people yeah like detect some people in a real way yeah like they got to really know that like you're smiling at them you're laughing we're both having a good time together yeah because that's really what comedy is is sort of like a bond between the audience and the comic on this thing we share in common which is like this tough life with struggle and
uncertainty and mortality and yeah we're trying to like emotionally feel better about it i cut comics so much more breaks than i cut anybody else i give them so much because i know you're nuts and i give them all the room you know but but i also let them know like look i'm a comic too i'm your friend yeah like i love comedy i love comedians and i'm that's our tribe our tribe is comedians and there's not that many of us the the real number it's probably a thousand worldwide the real number of like a real legitimate professional comedian that can go up and do an hour right and kill and uh has like maybe a following and can tour clubs and theaters and then colleges and what and then you get to like big theaters and arenas right you get to are how many of those are there are not many not many not many for theaters how many for theaters is there about 60 100 yeah maybe maybe a hundred probably less man probably less seriously in this country i mean you know i've talked about it with many comics like how many guys in this country would you recommend your friend go see right when you put it that way it's not that many yeah 200 yeah 200 guys maybe you really wrote them all out yeah it's not a lot of humans i say 200 guys a lot of girls in there too a lot of very funny girls i would i mean 200 humans but it's not that many there's a million doctors in this country there's a you know there's a lot of occupations it's a very small tribe of people that are comics and so if you're a comic and you don't like other comics like you're missing out on the whole [ __ ] point stupid yeah you know you're you you get rude to other comics you don't like when other comics succeed you know like other people being funny try to downplay how good they are or why they're successful like shut up yeah that's that's a real unfortunate part of the business maybe that's kind of lessons as the business has changed but yeah i think then kind of cancel culture came in where comics started going after other comics that's my pet peeve those are like good comics though not in a jokeful way but like when they really like morally
indicting someone i hate like if you can break balls about something make jokes about somebody someone's like morally indicting someone and it's a comic to another comic i find that disturbing it's very disturbing and it's always from comics that aren't that good always it's not the best of the best doing that it's always these mediocre [ __ ] that one up doing that people generally people that think they deserve more attention than they get and they relish the opportunity to take someone down a notch and they relish the opportunity to virtue signal and let all the people that follow them know that they're on the right side of history yeah this and that yeah it's [ __ ] yeah and by the way now go kill oh you can't kill so this is more important your activism is more important in your comments well that's probably why they're doing it that's what happens man they get to this point where they're really more of an activist than a comedian like okay yeah stop you're just not that good like it's hard to do yeah it's hard to do just face what's going on you're not that good at this thing that's hard to do yeah and also this era there's no excuse i i feel like there's no excuse like even if i never had another ounce of success i would never blame anything or anyone because the opportunities are there for anyone with the internet you can do whatever you want you can put your content up whatever it is you want to try to do you got a chance to build your own thing and you really do you can who would trade this era for any other era this is the most free to be a comic it's the most free accessible time that has ever existed at all and it's also a little fun i like the kids culture it makes comedy a little dangerous again that's it yeah it's funny he had that great quote he said comedy's dangerous it's true you get in a room you're like you guys are sensitive but let me play with that a little bit yeah no i couldn't agree more and i think there's also this is strength in the relationship that comedians have with each other because before we used to be competitors like maybe you and i would show up at uh in the green room for a casting audition for a television show we're both reading for the part of paul like ah [ __ ] you're
reading for paul too now my friend is my competition so you hopefully you know i hope you bomb i hope you go in there and choke dick it's like seen in batman where the joker just breaks the stick and goes you guys fight it out and that's what comedy was back then yeah there's only a certain amount of spots the only certain amount of spots and everybody had this goal and the big goal was to get a sitcom because that was like the honey pot that like jerry seinfeld got roseanne gotten but then the internet came along and we instead became assets to each other so like i have this podcast you're on my podcast yeah like it helps you but it helps me too yeah because you're a funny guy and you're a smart guy and we're gonna have a fun conversation and all the people that are on the treadmill right now are enjoying this so that's why it's an asset to each other right it helps promote you but it also helps my show and also people know that if i have people on it's because i like them and they're interesting and they're funny and so then the audience trusts me more because i keep introducing him to more interesting funny people they go oh he's got good taste in comics right right this is like we all we can promote each other now because it's not like your show's on tuesday at 8 p.m and so is mine no your [ __ ] show's on whenever the [ __ ] you want take a [ __ ] and on a plane your show's on whenever anybody wants to see it so is mine yeah and there's enough people right this famine mentality went away with the internet because we all became assets to each other that's such a great way to describe it that's that's a perfect breakdown that's amazing i never thought about like as an ass we did become assets yeah we became the opposite of a competitor yeah we came became comrades yeah and then as like the the podcast community grew we all found out about these other great podcasts because of each other yeah so you find out about two bears one cave because they were on you know skeptic tank or they were on this or your podcast or schultz's and with akash or and everybody's sort of networking but they're networking not like nbc we've got some wacky contract we can't get out of right it's a
natural network right like it's an organic network of friends right that just like to bust balls and have fun and talk [ __ ] and they always tell each other oh hey giannis has a new netflix special out you know [ __ ] mark norman just put his new [ __ ] out on youtube shane gillis has a new thing like everybody does that yeah we all do that for each other yeah all of us yeah so it's changed that mentality that these some of these older [ __ ] comedians still have they still have this competitive thing where anybody who do does well is somehow another taking from them well i guess a lot of people have a misunderstanding of what survival of the fittest means it doesn't actually mean the strongest survives it means the one who adapts best to change when the environment change survives and often sometimes it'll be the weakest from the previous environment yeah who with the change if with accepting the change becomes the strongest in the new environment that's actually what survival of the fittest means well we don't need one fittest anymore that's the thing it it could be what i mean by those who those who adapt to this change and that mentality those who've adapted that mentality are gonna flourish because that's what the environment is now right that's the fittest yeah you're you fit the environment best right yeah not just like you've more endurance and strength no you've you've adapted and it's also it's more fun this way like totally come on we did that show last night i mean it was so funny so much fun and we do we do all these things together whether we do podcasts together or shows together it's always like the same vibe yeah when when comics are around like i do this show now with normand shane gilles ahri and me we call it protect our parks because once we were all baked as [ __ ] and ari couldn't shut up about this park that they were gonna get rid of in new york we got to protect this park and so shane starts ragging on them and saying that we're going to call the podcast protect our parks so we've literally changed the name of the like our chat group it's called protect our partners it's hilarious and the four of us together get together we
get obliterated we get high as [ __ ] and drunk and we just talk [ __ ] for hours and it's always the same vibe right just fun and it's just comics yeah yeah shooting the [ __ ] yeah yeah and it's also cool that comics can recommend out of the comments because who do you trust more right comics comics recommend people who are good yeah yeah i have a few people recommend people then they're new york guys and i call ahri i was like whoa i'm like okay say no more champ [Laughter] yeah but it's a great time for comedy too because i don't think there's ever been more really funny up and comers you know more people that are they don't have to go through all the hurdles that they can put a thing up on youtube like you were saying they could put a thing up on instagram and it could become viral and they become famous for it i mean there's so many people that have like angela johnson with her uh the vietnamese nail salon bit yeah that [ __ ] bit blew her up one bit yeah so i remember i was in uh san jose and i was doing the the improv and she was doing a giant ass theater she had like a youtube video that just blew her up i'm like wow she had a billboard so she's got a [ __ ] billboard yeah wow yeah you know stand-ups don't have the monopoly on funny anymore that we used to because the internet's opened it up to whoever wants to make videos podcasts whatever it is so a lot of guys end up having a funny video channel and oh yeah yeah i mean they do stand up later they're not as good but they can become good they can be doing it yeah they well you know look one of the best versions of uh taking advantage of this new art form is kyle dunnigan and kurt medler he's the funniest dude in the world two of them together the two of them together is batman and robin oh kurt's just amazing writer and kyle dunnigan dude dude that's everything you need to know about where to find your funny now is like that dude's not on snl so it's like what well you watch he's the funniest [ __ ] dude he crack kyle dunn again i go there i cry like he did that michael jackson won t
yes i mean me and my wife for watching i was [ __ ] crying dude they took that one down i think from instagram of course i think they took it down from instagram i think they left it up on twitter but they took it down from instagram it is like gut funny got funny it's have you seen the nancy pelosi one yeah she has skeleton hands she rubs them together and starts a fire [Laughter] it's so funny those face swaps are so good he's such a good talented impressionist too so oh he's amazing and there's also like a lot of comedy in the impressions it's not like just accurate it's also like comedic the two of them together are such an amazing combination because metzger is one of the most underrated writers and comics he's a guy and he'll readily admit this that he kind of [ __ ] up because he got into the writing circuit and he even though he's a great comic people don't know him for that enough because he spent so much time just writing and working on shows that he's a great writer and he's still a great comic but he doesn't didn't do the road didn't have a lot of stuff that's out there where people can go see him and they know that he's but he's a brilliant comic brilliant dude oh yeah in new york every curt was like one of the guys everyone talked about as a stand-up like kurt was known in the new york scene is like he's a beast he's a great comic yeah but unfortunately right now at least people don't know that enough and maybe it's good that we're talking about it right now but the two of them together on that [ __ ] show are a ruthless combination dude sometimes you have that chemistry with someone that's just you can't explain it's just magical and yeah i hope those two dudes continue to ride that out because that's that's hard to achieve and when it happens yeah it should just keep it going it doesn't get enough attention it's one of those gems those rare gems on earth where it's like god people don't know about this enough and it's like dave attell yeah damn italian like there's people that don't know enough about how good
david tells us oh he's so funny he might be the best comic alive yeah he he goes you know that when a woman's riding you and she comes off up off your dick or as i like to call it catching air he goes the distance between how far she came up and where your dick is is how big she wishes your dick was so [ __ ] funny he always has new [ __ ] yeah he's just a prolific animal he's an animal yeah he's like a stand-up savant yeah wears the same clothes every night yeah never changes his appearance no same kind of baseball hat yeah murders every night looks like he's robbing a bank every night you see he's got like an outfit on he's about to go get money from a teller chain smoking with a mask below his chin he always has that mask like below his chin even on stage yeah he wears a mask blow his chin on stage it's hilarious i love him and i love you too man thank you man um that's it thanks for doing this tell everybody how to find you on uh social media yeah just giannis pappas on all social medias my podcast long days with giannis pappas please check it out and my special is on amazon oh before we stop didn't what was going on where you were getting episodes deleted yeah oh yeah youtube what were they doing yeah so the podcast long days um i was doing these episodes i put them up and um on youtube and then youtube took one down right i appealed it they denied the appeal and then like two weeks later they took an episode down from like four to six months ago i can't remember how it was like when i started the podcast because it's fairly new i've only been doing it for a year and um and so i kept appealing and trying to find out like what did i do and went through all these hoops you probably you making talking about it probably is what overturned one of them they overturned one because then i finally got to human review and they were like yeah i was on because some fan time coded what i said at the moment that they finally told me why it got uh taken down like they right they told me these are the problematic time codes but they were nonsense it was
[ __ ] nonsense that's why we read this comedy we read the the code we read those time codes yeah you read like what the transcript of it was yeah it didn't make any sense it doesn't make any sense it wasn't even remotely offensive i mean it's great one one was a joke about the gay pride parade and it was like me i was like you know i i we we all support gay rights i was like but can we please move the gay pride parade tonight so i can explain gay rights to my daughter i mean i don't want to see your [ __ ] before noon yeah you know so it's just making a joke about the gay pride parade being a little naked and it's during the day yeah i don't care if you're gay or straight during the day we're having brunch i don't want to see your [ __ ] [ __ ] why is that offensive gay guys were messaging me on twitter talking about how funny they thought one gay guy i remember message he goes he goes not only do i think it's funny he's like it's kind of true he was saying it he's like and i'm a gay guy yeah dude i've seen guys with g-strings and and those leathers what are those called spats what are those things called that like horse guys wear chaps jamie knows g-strings and chaps yeah running running down santa monica during the gay pride party yeah it's like all right dude like wide open [ __ ] yeah i mean just because you know come on dude we can't have any temporary it's not appropriate i don't care what your sexuality is string covering your hairy [ __ ] it's not appropriate it's not just kids around just a joke yeah so they banned that episode and they gave you a strike well that's what they said the time code was for i don't know if it's something else i said in the episode the other i don't know if it was that episode another episode i was making fun of justin bieber so i don't know what did you say about justin bieber i said that i said that i would love to be a fly on the wall at the baldwin thanksgiving dinner when he comes over to stephen baldwin's house and then i acted out steve because stephen baldwin's like really right-wing you know it's real fun super christian yeah super christian super right-wing so i just had him calling like justin bieber like asking like come on man you
transition like he used to be a woman you know because he just kind of looks kind of feminine and just the conversations they would have like you guys are coming from that cup town you know stephen stephen baldwin just talking about l.a whether you got my daughter living over there and you know cocktails what's going on he's just joking around joking around and about alec being there and then alec and stephen going at it like that family's fun because you you follow billy baldwin he's like crazy woke yeah billy baldwin's like left wing left wing and then stephen is like crazy right wing and then you got alec who's like pretends to be left wing so and then you got justin bieber's now in that family it's just a funny family dinner and they they got you for that but all these things are just you commenting on it's just comedy and talking [ __ ] yeah just talking [ __ ] this is a scary thing about youtube is that you don't know what's gonna be the thing that triggers you getting a strike and you can only get three strikes and they'll remove your channel you don't and i'm talk i was talking about all things that happen that are in reality yeah and we're just joking it's just [ __ ] around it's just [ __ ] joking [ __ ] like there's got to be a way to label your channels like this is comedy look if you don't like like what's this thing like you don't like something you get it banned right what the hell is that right what the [ __ ] is that right like poot like is putin are you putin but they think they're shaping culture that's what's interesting they think by denying putin thinks he's doing that job denying certain things that they think are toxic certain opinions they think about even toxic comedy like how can you speak on behalf of what other people like it's crazy well it's a problem with limiting free speech yeah when you limit free speech you make it subjective like what is acceptable and what's not and a lot of times it's based on what other people think people should do and say instead of what you know just allowing a person to be themselves yeah i mean those are the tenants of fascism people like people talking [ __ ] about things yes people just and have fun
and people have different tastes so how do you i mean comedians are actually the only barometer that exists for you to know if you're free i mean if comics weren't crossing the line or how would you know you're free you wouldn't that's the only real barometer out there that kind of lets you know that freedom is still happening here here yeah giannis ladies and gentlemen bye everybody [Music] [Applause] you