Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpYLZioia3w
[Music] we're up brian we're up we're here man what's going on brother good to see you it's happening it is it is indeed cheers sir thank you merry christmas happy new year all that good stuff yay you know what people you know how people started doing that why i don't know because during prohibition to it was a way to try to tell if you had [ __ ] alcohol because if you banged it and it bubbled then you knew it wasn't really yeah because people would sell [ __ ] alcohol it's not funny because that's exactly what's going on with the fentanyl overdoses the reason why fentanyl is like rampant through this country is because people are getting this [ __ ] from mexico because heroin is illegal so they're getting it from mexico they're getting the coke from mexico and it's laced fentanyl and all that stuff is is laced and all that's the reason why they do it they cut it to make it stronger so they can have less cocaine because fentanyl is cheap and that's why all these people are dying so they can transport more yes do you know the number one cause of death between people 18 to 49 right now is fentanyl that's crazy a hundred thousand people died last year from fentanyl that's a real epidemic that is a real crazy yes it's crazy way more than died from covet with the same age class yeah i um we we recently had a bunch of comics passed because from from fentanyl yeah the whole thing with quigley and those three dudes she was hanging with um and then i remember seeing you know so i'm checking on my people that i know you know do a little bit of the powder and i'm like hey man you know and a lot of people are like all like i've got to leave this [ __ ] alone i can leave the [ __ ] alone i was like why doesn't everybody just test and he goes you can test it i was like yeah you can test it he was like party tonight you know it's like you can just go get the sick man you haven't learned [ __ ] dude if heroin was legal if cocaine was legal you'd get it straight from the source you'd get real cocaine that's not cut at all it would be
probably i've never done coke but the way they describe it it's like a much better experience and then you don't have to worry about it then you know what you're doing yeah i'm i'm in the legalize everything camp you know yes we talked about the last time i was yeah just legalize it all have it come have have the fda exactly the this it's scalable right it's like what would you do if it was just the three of us imagine was just three of us were on an island and jamie's like uh marijuana should be illegal and we were like what the [ __ ] jamie and jamie wants to lock us up for marijuana like that would be crazy we'd have to kill jamie right well there's two of us yeah like what the [ __ ] are you talking about man but that's exactly what it's like with the government with the government it's like one person versus three or four whatever it is it's like it's like a small group of people that are deciding that things should be illegal and then it's a bunch of parents that don't want their children to get addicted and i understand that i'm a parent i don't want my children to get addicted but that's what is happening that's what's happening here's a here's always my pushback on that right is all of the horrible things that have happened with drugs have happened during the prohibition era yes so you know making it legal isn't going to make it more likely that your kids are going to get addicted in fact they know what what wasn't it the um well they studied the people coming back from vietnam and they were like the people that did heroin over there would come back and the ones that had like loving supportive environments and family they stopped doing heroin yes yes so it's like i think that you know but it's hard to say to somebody that like lost someone right you know but yeah i've lost very good friends one of my best friends in life died of a drug overdose he died from pills i think we when i'm not exactly sure but i think he was on oxy and this was uh in the early 2000s it's um it's an epidemic it's it's terrible but
i feel like you should be able to make your own choices look we're here drinking scotch if if i drank this bottle you drink that bottle we might both be dead you know we drink a whole bottle of this stuff let's go to the hospital you're going to get [ __ ] up if we drank all the liquor on that table we just decided in an hour to drink all the liquor on the table we'd be dead 100 but we're not going to do that right we're adults and i think the same would be the case if people had access to real cocaine and real heroin i'm not saying you should do cocaine heroin look i'm a [ __ ] exercise fiend i'm not thinking you should just go and do drugs all the time you shouldn't but you're an adult you should be able to make up your own choices and no one no other adult should be able to tell you what you can and can't do all the things that you do that are illegal that people blame drugs on like driving under the influence or like going crazy and murdering people all we have laws already for those things you already can't do those things the drug is not the problem the problem is have you ever heard gabor mate talk about uh drugs and and and addiction very interesting guy he's an expert on drugs and addiction and and uh and the all the the real fallacies m-a-t-e um but he said it all comes from trauma i mean all these people that are like severely addicted all those people that you see that are homeless and they're just shooting up and smoking crack those people are all sexually abused physically abused beaten they've come from traumatic backgrounds that's the problem the problem is not the drugs well they've lost everything because he is yeah it's the environment yes i remember remember remember the cat williams joke where he's like uh he's like aspirin is perfectly legal you take 15 in the [ __ ] that'll be your last headache that's true you know it's a good way to put it yeah it's like yeah it we but nobody wants to really address the environment thing because that's a bigger that's not a simple
fix bro eat a pound of salt you're dead as [ __ ] take one pound of salt eat it you're dead yeah i think you eat a pound of anything you're pretty much gone right yeah well not now you probably get away with a pound of sugar unless you're a professional there's a lot of people out there eat a pound of sugar a day yeah you know for the longest time of my life i never thought about it like when you go to a restaurant overnight and go this is a quarter pound of beef well this is you know this is a half pound burger it's like i never really put that together like oh i'm putting i'm putting a hat i'm putting a half a pound of meat in my stomach yeah that's not good for you yeah it is it yeah yeah it doesn't matter how it's cooked bro people have been eating meat since the dawn of time there is nothing wrong with meat what's wrong with people's diets is all the [ __ ] they eat with meat that's why those epidemiology studies are so flawed because those those studies are never done they say like what you know an epidemiology study is like they they they quiz a bunch of people they give them a form to fill out and they say how many times a week do you eat meat and then they look for instances of cancer instances of heart attacks high blood pressure and then they make a correlation the problem with that is they're not asking what are you doing with the meat are you eating cheeseburgers on a sugary bun with a bunch of fries dipped in fat are you drinking it with a a large coca-cola that's all sugar like what is your diet like are you smoking cigarettes are you doing this are you doing that and then you'd get a better baseline if you said to a person what are you eating and they say well i eat a 16 ounce grass-fed rib eye and then i'll have some steamed broccoli or some sauteed spinach look at those [ __ ] people they're healthy as [ __ ] if you're exercising and your body's not overweight and you're taking care of yourself there's nothing wrong with meat i don't do any of those things damn it no i gotta start i got i was telling her
i was like i need to spend like a month at david goggins house do you want to do that no yeah he might [ __ ] kill him you don't want to do that get up son this time tomorrow have you ever have you ever kicked it like chill with that dude oh yeah in his environment well i've never worked out with him but i've hung out with him multiple i just hung out with him a couple days ago in vegas oh okay yeah i saw him he was on the other day yeah yeah oh that's right i did go to vegas jimmy but i only went for an about four hours this is what happened went to andrew schultz's wedding and then whitney cummings said i gotta leave at 6 45 i'm going to do a set in vegas and then i'm going to fly back tonight at 10 o'clock i go really and so uh it was me lex friedman my wife and whitney and we said [ __ ] it let's go so we went and uh whitney did a private party at this lady's house with dana carvey yeah some rich lady and uh so we do this we do the gig and then uh we go back she she had they had gotten her a private jet we go back and the private jet was broken no pilot no one to get back so we wound up taking a [ __ ] car we had to get a car service to drive us back to l.a yeah from vegas to la we got back at 5 30 in the morning but in the meantime we hung out at the uh we hung out at the the um what's that the win for a little bit and uh hung out with david i'm surprised david garza was like let's run back he was doing push-up contests with lex i got a video of them doing push-ups on the floor of uh the mirage or of the win was it close no of course not no well lex was drunk david moved so fast when he was doing push-ups did you see that video yeah i'm so fast bro he does push-ups all day there's not there's no more disciplined human that's ever walked the face of the earth it's insane yeah it's insane i wish i could tell you about his knee injury but he asked me not to to explain exactly what they had done but you find out like how [ __ ] up his knee was and now he's running thousands of miles on that knee like what the hell yeah i had i had a one-off that's
lex by the way was 30 hours of uh no food and just just drinking why was he why was he not eating i don't know he's not that guy's not even doing them correctly who's that guy some just dude who just showed up look there's a whole bunch of people in the lobby just filming these guys doing push-ups but look at goggins he can do that all day all day he'll do thousands of push-ups yeah he's you don't want to work out you don't want to go to his house and work out that's he'll wake you up at 4 o'clock in the morning who's gonna carry the boats you'd be like what what are boats what are you talking about we're in nevada yeah he's a he's an interesting dude like i'm i'm i'm following my instagram every morning he's like you're a [ __ ] don't be a [ __ ] today yeah stay hard yeah yeah well he's you know that's what he did to himself the beautiful thing about that guy is that he was 300 pounds he was overweight he was drinking milkshakes and couldn't even run around the block and then decided to turn himself into what we see today yeah i had a warner officer like him when i was in the service yeah man he was like older than all of us and just smoking us every like you couldn't give him an excuse you know because he was better than you and everything and older than you so it was like you you it was no there was no my my my back hurt i got a cramp so what you know because his attitude was like oh so you don't let you so you're gonna fail the mission because you got a clamp right yeah in the military that's uh exactly how they have to look at it you can't just wait for a day where you feel perfect yeah but we'll see see when you got a leader like that in charge of you though yeah when they're not just talking right when they're doing it yeah you'll run through a wall for that [ __ ] that's the difference between someone who's a leader who is not walking the walk those people get resented you [ __ ] hate them the moment you see them be a hypocrite yeah it's like it's over that's the key that's the the key and i think in companies businesses and everything it's like a person has to lead by example
like that person like the people that are putting in the extra hours and extra work you want to do work for them but when they want to go home and they they tell you you know you gotta stay till two o'clock in the morning to get this project done and you're like hey man [ __ ] you you're gonna go home and you're gonna leave me here you get paid more money than me and this is your company it benefits you that i do this work and and you're leaving i was just reading about um the peter principle have you heard of this no where it's like the the people at companies that do the best work get stuck with more work and so the people the people that are left get promoted and so you so you if you end up with like this diluted middle management that's it's like that's why people are miserable with their jobs is because your boss is almost always going to be someone that isn't better than you yeah yeah i think it's also so it's probably super hard to find a company to work for where everybody's friendly and everybody's just having a good time enjoying life i interviewed this guy the other day that uh that he so so i was doing this thing for for netflix the their uh it's called my favorite thing so they they they let you take over the thing and then they find new people so my favorite thing was gaming right and they they found me i did it with eric griffin and all this and but i don't know but then they went and found me two um like professors of gaming so one of them one of them i [ __ ] can't remember her name right now but but but the guy he was the professor of um he was a psychiatrist a psychologist and he he specialized in like the the mentality of gamers online and his whole thing is that is how workplaces should be set up more like like games like the way they develop games the way they they market them towards the people
the the reward pattern and all that should be uh to avoid the peter principle right so it's like in in the lady she was a professor of like informatics that's focused on gamers and her whole family games she gains her kids she games with her husband and she and we were just talking about how like it changes the bond like it it's a bonding thing with your kids it's a trust building thing with your husband you know what i'm saying right so you have like team effort to go accomplish missions and [ __ ] yeah like they were [ __ ] playing diablo on nightmare their family you know what i'm saying but you get one life can you imagine that that's hard yeah okay i can't trust my mom to heal me man i can't [ __ ] with games i'm too addicted i have too much of an addictive personality i would i would try to do i would just try to play it all day well yeah man i don't have a family so it's it i can get sucked in man i mean especially since you know you now that now games are like they're shameless games are 100 bucks 120 bucks it's like i'm gonna put my time in this [ __ ] right do you play um the game by itself or do you only play online it depends on what it is yeah yeah it's um if it's like a competitive shooter or something like that i play that online the problem with those things is there's so many people that are doing them all day long and you get sucked into that and then you want to compete at the level that they're at and the only way you can do that is if you play all day long it's impossible it's this this is another thing i was um i was telling [ __ ] santino this but i remember being at the comedy store and i was in the back watching the overwatch playoffs on my on my phone and and then com you know comics get you doing something nerdy they start giving you [ __ ] like they haven't been nerds their whole life and people are giving me [ __ ] about like what are you doing i'm like this is the playoffs they're like what
it's like they look down on it because you know how how amazed you are about something is about how far away you see yourself from being able to do it what's interesting too is if you were watching like the world chess championship like oh brian smart as [ __ ] oh right well i watched that too right but you know what i mean like there's games that are acceptable right but not that yeah you could even watch like tennis right tennis anything yeah anything that people don't think they could do right right but but people see you people see people playing a game and go well i play games but it's like no that this [ __ ] is so much better than you he is his he is as much better than you at games as michael jordan is better than you at basketball yeah yeah and you can it's hard for you to accept because he's 13 years old you know what i'm saying and you can't wrap your head around the fact that he'll whoop your ass at every game you own yeah that's true yeah these kids ain't like the high level because a lot of times the kids the people that are winning these tournaments and stuff they're good at everything they'll they'll win a tournament in another game too or they'll get they get recruited they get bought from other people from other teams it's serious business they're making millions of dollars there's real money in it now but we were kids you were told that playing video games was a waste of time that mentality still stuck in our heads right you cost me millions grandma but it's still for a lot of people it is a waste of time yeah because you're never gonna because even still it's it's even it's just like athletes it's like the top one percent the top less than that one percent of people go pro and like actually make a living but isn't that argument couldn't you make that same argument about comics like you you just had uh you have a new netflix special that's out right now yep right now and um how many [ __ ] comics start out and never have a netflix special from open mic to netflix special 99.9 oh yeah for sure same thing and
it's you're right you're right and so i i think it it rolls back to it's two things it's it's accurate self-assessment which a lot of people lack the ability to do that and then it's also having people around you that love you enough to be like this ain't that for you know me because it's like your your your friends will like like like say your breath smells like [ __ ] at the party right your friends that love you will be like hey man you know yeah eat this man your breasts smell like [ __ ] but but people that are just acquaintances or whatever they'll just wait till you walk away and go joe's breath smells like [ __ ] did you smell that you know what i'm saying yes and so it's like if somebody around you got to love you enough to be like bro you got to stop this but some people if they keep going they will make it like it's so hard it's especially in the early days of comedy man it's hard to tell yeah it's because i've been wrong i've been wrong i've been wrong too i've been like oh i said he doesn't got it man i'm sorry and i feel bad for some people too and it's delusional because here's the other thing too you don't know you have to believe that you can right but but you got to know you got to know and but you don't know if you're one of those people that's right or one of those people that's delusional and you sometimes the difference between someone is right and delusional is just effort it's just willpower effort time sometimes not though sometimes they're just lacking the gene yeah some people don't got the they don't they're because because the only time i'm i'm 100 certain that somebody is going to make it as if they're not funny do they have to you have to be funny to be able to do the work to get without saying any names there's people that have made a career in comedy that are not funny at all mark norman for no i'm just kidding mark he said it no not me mark is also on season three of the stand-ups with uh me no but there are like mark norman's brilliant but there are legitimately like non-hilarious people they just it's
not gonna happen right but yet they make a living doing comedy and you always see them you're always trying to get on spots and they'll ask you to be on your podcast you're like yikes because we'll see that's the thing i don't know if i'm interested last time but i but i i realized something about the business is that you can have talent or a lack of shame or some mix some mix of the two you you if you're because if you cause those people you're talking about they have no shame they don't care if it's the 50th time they've asked you to be on your podcast they don't care if it's at your wedding right they don't care if they've saw you running the bathroom and you're taking a [ __ ] and they knock on the stall and go hey joe just wanted to bother you real quick they don't they don't feel bad at all because they know and they've learned from experience that eventually they'll wear you down to where you give it to them just so they'll leave you the [ __ ] alone yeah you know and and if you if you got no shame you good there's a lot of people like that too right oh yeah yeah there's a lot of no shame people but there's a lot of people that just it seems like their version of reality is different than what you and i see it's like they they think they're doing well when they're not like they'll go on stage and they think they're they're getting laughs but they're not like they get a little sympathy laugh here and there and they think it was good i don't get it i don't know how that is it's like somebody being tone deaf it's crazy people i don't know man you know it's like like what makes a i mean you know you know the concept of an npc you know a non-player character there's a lot of people out there that literally are that they're real like it's a horrible thing to say yeah that they're inconsequential humans but there are people that for whatever reason they never connect with people then all the friendships they have are very surface level they never have real
love they never they really care about people they're always just weird [ __ ] well they're psychopaths i was just listening to something the other day about how we you know there's a list that came out maybe five six years ago and it was like the top ten professions that psychopaths go to and like one of them was like ceo surgeon and then people always forget about the other seven you know it's like there are psychopaths all around you there's a bus driver that's that that he doesn't feel or right is that a sociopath or psychopath that's that's what i mean so they they're real similar though it's the distinction between sociopath and psycho what is the distinction because someone was explaining it to me once that there's not much difference between a sociopath and a psychopath maybe a psychopath acts maliciously against people whereas the sociopath doesn't feel anything i i think that they i think that they've slowly started to conflate the two you know and maybe the in the in the what is that book that has all the mental health [ __ ] in it the ms you know somehow no but but but there's a book that had like defines everything maybe it's called the dsr okay okay how sociopaths are different from psychopaths both are form of anti-social anti-social personality disorder sociopaths the term people use often arbitrarily to describe someone who's apparently without conscious in most cases a description blithely tossed about to label a person as being either hateful or hate-worthy the same applies to term psychopath which many people suggest a sociopath who is simply more dangerous like a mass murderer while the characteristics of sociopathy and psychopathy may overlap sociopathy is an unofficial term for an anti-social personality disorder psychopsychopathy is not an official diagnosis since not considered apd anti-social personality disorder a term
sociopath and psychopath are often used interchangeably each has its own clear lines of distinction that can be broadly described and what is the clear lines of distinction yeah that didn't help no difference okay sociopaths makes it clear uh they do not care others feel psychopaths pretend to care oh psychopaths display cold-hearted behavior sociopaths behave in hot-headed and impulsive ways uh sociopath prone to fits of anger and rage psychopaths fail to recognize other people's distress psychopaths have relationships that are shallow and fake sociopaths recognize they are doing but rationalize their behavior psychopaths maintain a normal life as a cover for criminal activity so psychopath sounds like a serial killer sociopath sounds like a comic am i the only one am i the only one that was just thinking i think i [ __ ] a few psychopaths for sure or socioeconomic hearted behavior yeah well there's a lot of people that are broken from whatever trauma they experience when they're young and they carry that into adulthood but they like mask it with like fake caring and fake empathy and you know and they use the right word there's a lot of sociopaths that are woke because they use that they use that to attack people they use this there's like a list of things they can attack you for and they use as an excuse to be a horrible person oh yeah that's the that's the new trend it's like well everyone is looking for permission to be their worst self right you know so it's like i wouldn't normally burn down your house right with your kids inside but you know you voted for you voted for trump yeah yeah that's it i faced it a lot where it's like uh i remember back doing all the uh doing all the social uproar and and i tex and i posted that like people are a lot of people are narcissists disguised as activists like they're yes they are it's really about them and the co and the cause is their cover for being a piece of [ __ ] right yeah you know and then the activism is something that gets them brownie points get some social brownie points but there's people out there
that's really about their life though oh yeah yeah that'll [ __ ] throw hands or shoot something yeah then i believe you yeah you know there's people that are really good people that are that dedicate their life to charity and then there's people that are dedicating their life to charity so that other people know that they're a good person yeah it's the same it's the same kind of people that used to be like do it for the children you know but it's really their way of being an ad like controlling what you can watch and what you can listen to right that's a natural inclination to human beings to force people to do things and make people behave a certain way or speak a certain way or do certain things that they want you to do you see you're seeing that a lot in today's culture with this vaccinated versus unvaccinated argument that there's a lot of people that you know want unvaccinate people to be refused medical care and be ostracized from society and even though as time's going on we're realizing that even vaccinated people are catching coven spreading and particularly with this new version of it which i keep hearing is a good thing i keep hearing this omicron i've talked to a doctor and he was explaining that this is essentially like a live vaccine he goes this is it's not good to catch he goes but he goes it's way better than any strain of covet we've ever seen before there's no debts so far registered in america except one guy that's in texas that has a bunch of health conditions and they're not even saying now that it was covered that killed him he had it when he died which is this guy was [ __ ] up they're not they're not personally but when they say that publicly that that's a clear indication that there's something really wrong with this guy they're not saying what it was but i'm assuming if it's the only guy that's died in this whole [ __ ] month and a half period this shit's been spreading through this country yeah well you know i think that all of that is just a symptom the problem is people don't trust the government they don't trust the media because they always [ __ ] lying
yeah you shouldn't trust the government or the media because i remember i don't know if it was the you know when i was when i was a kid but it was it would be like oh if the president came on tv and said some [ __ ] you believe the [ __ ] 100 but but it's like once we started finding out oh these [ __ ] lie about everything now once clinton started lying about blow jobs everybody was like what well that yeah that did i mean nixon was the chip oh yeah in the in the well actually kennedy kennedy was the was the first crack because people started you know when they covered up all the paperwork and they this is what's so funny they still keep pushing that [ __ ] down the line every president no matter which side you want every republican president every democratic president since every time those papers supposed to come out they [ __ ] cover the [ __ ] up it's wild isn't it like what is it cause there was a time where i thought that the james webb telescope i thought the kennedy [ __ ] would come out before the depth telescope was ready because they've been i'm a nerd with that kind of [ __ ] and i was like i've been waiting on this telescope for a minute yeah and every time i was like well i'll find out who killed kennedy before that i don't think that's true that's that scope's going to be launched before we know who killed kennedy before those papers are released and the only reason they could still be secret is because i think it would it would probably cause mass hysteria if people found out that like the cia was involved or something like that they had to be that's the only reason why they would keep it under wraps that's the only reason there's there's no other reason there's no logical reason why they wouldn't release those papers yeah it's insane because even if people involved are still alive can i smoke a cigarette in here mm-hmm the the people that uh i'm quitting when the special come out mom do you want a um cigar no no no last time i did that [ __ ] it [ __ ] me up cigars [ __ ] you up how
how so it just made my [ __ ] all dry i mean this ain't healthy but i'm an addict it's definitely not healthy i'm just making excuses on that how often do you smoke them cigarettes yeah goddamn oh probably you know it's it it changes when i'm doing comedy when i'm when i'm performing you pref you smoking more yeah interesting i smoke more when i'm at the comedy store and [ __ ] um because everybody else is doing it it's social no no one else does it no one very few kind of [ __ ] like most people like no this is the era of the healthy comics ah those [ __ ] mm-hmm they're judging you judgers goddamn judgy [ __ ] my special comes out today i'm done that's it you're done i told her i told her when it comes out i'm done and what are you going to do to replace it you're going to do gum you're going to do the the [ __ ] you put in your mouth you know i was hanging out with shaub at schultz's wedding and he takes those little dip pouches shoves him in his mouth he grabbed three of those [ __ ] and stuck him inside his cheek like a squirrel and i go what do you do and he goes i'm an addict because i'm a straight addict i can't do it man the dip [ __ ] so just so one time when i was a when i was deployed we we had our little this was my second appointment so by this time we had like more comforts and [ __ ] and we had our little six a little 12 by six can or whatever but my can so there's there's six marines sleeping in one of these things but my can had we we had negotiated with the locals and we had a tv we had an xbox and we had a little makeshift couch that we had built and like made comfortable so everybody would come in our room and like watch the sopranos or play coming out candy and all that [ __ ] and this one [ __ ] i can't remember his name anyway this son of a [ __ ] had this weird habit of leaving his dip bottles every [ __ ] way right oh no
yeah and one day and you know one day i'm sitting there i'm drinking my [ __ ] and i put it down by my feet and i reach back down and i grab it not looking mouth full of dip spit yeah it took three people to pull me off that [ __ ] it wasn't fair to be mad at him for real for not paying attention but but um i can it's you know you have those events where you can't control yourself you relive them like every time i think about i can taste it and i just i could never dip i could never dip i'm still mad about it i've dipped it it um it definitely gives you a nice little head rush but not as good as cigarettes cigarettes give you the best head rush yeah it's like a whoo but um i love a cigarette before i go on stage i don't know how i'm gonna replace that like right before you try to use a jewel or something like that i don't know that doesn't work good enough no i think you just have to stop like i started um i had this book called the easy way to stop smoking and everybody that i've got to read the book they've stopped and then but i've never finished it what does it tell you to do it's it's so the premise of it is basically like they instead of telling you the reasons you shouldn't smoke they attack the reasons why you say you smoke like all the reasons people give and they show you that they're just excuses that you're just as much of an addict as a crackhead or that doesn't help you i think what helps people is things like ibogaine ibogaine um mushroom trips things like that yeah oh yeah and i know a lot of people that uh my buddy that um actually he just left he moved down here actually um mitch i can't remember mitch's last name god damn it anyway he quit after a mushroom trip he was like he did shrooms and was like nah i was just done yeah yeah well you start thinking about what you
could be doing to your body you know what what could be happening inside of your body yeah so maybe maybe i just need a picture of a tumor you just hang over a health scare a little bit of health well i've had enough of those that doesn't stop people really no no cigarettes there's people that's people that's dying in the hospital now that's still sneaking out to smoke cigarettes yeah but that's just because they know they're dying no i'd rather just take the cigarette now other than like die and not enjoy a cigarette because you're already dying so you need so you said the type of health scare where they like look stop you stop now yeah you'll be okay but if you don't stop now yeah maybe one of those something's gotta like they gotta show you your lungs or you see the blackness like the tar and all the [ __ ] decay have you seen like a smoker's lung when they pull it out and then they put it next to a healthy person's so long on an autopsy table yeah and it looks it's wild it's yeah go see if you can find a video they there or a photo there's they do autopsies of these people who die lung cancer and you know lifetime cigarette smokers and their [ __ ] their their lungs they they look like they're just covered look at that look at that [ __ ] lung look at the like lung jerky look at that one the the black lungs of a chain smoker the one the upper left click on that look at that that is insane man that's so insane that looks like someone oh my god look at that next to a regular lung that is so wild one lung is like orangey reddish pink and the other one is literally black and white like white tissue and black tissue [ __ ] wild man that is wild terrible as i goddamn it smoke myself this is like that one up there that one the second down right below that look at that oh jesus christ look at they're all shriveled this is like showing me stool samples while i'm eating yeah but that's if i'm still hungry i'll still eat really you could just put power through i don't know i was on fear factor it's not real this is a computer oh it's computer generation oh okay oh but still pretty accurate probably accurate but the one next to it is real
that's real what's wrong with that one down there the one that looks like like it has cheese on it which one's that the one in the middle oh it's pus what is that pulmonary pathology good god it's [ __ ] up because like the thing that scares people the most is not being able to breathe you know that's what's interesting it's like that feeling that you can't breathe is terrifying to people that's why drowning is so terrifying to people but they say that the last days of a person's life when they're dying of lung cancer is like drowning it's like you you can't breathe and you're you're gasping for air and it's like your lungs are filling up with fluid you can't get any oxygen in there because all the sores are like popping you went through that cigarette quick too oh how many do you smoke a day it varies but a pack at the most a pack yeah it's a lot what does it pack 16 how many is in there 20 20. it's actually perfectly formulated for you to smoke all day oh so if you start early and keep going it's like the rate that like the nicotine gets out of your system yeah and it's supposed to be like every 40 minutes or something like that and so the sick you have just enough cigarettes to smoke all day long you know what's interesting like nicotine is actually a medicine nicotine itself um i think it's got heart uh applications see it like nicotine for heart nicotine and sometimes they use it to treat [ __ ] nicotine by itself is not bad which sounds so crazy and it's also um a nootropic meaning like uh it stimulates cognitive function like nicotine does stimulate it's one thing stephen king said in his book on writing is that quitting cigarettes was very hard for him because it's like his writing suffered a little bit it's harder for him to write oh dude because there's something about the cigarette that like it fires up the synapses it fires up the brain and then the writing would come smoother yeah i
don't know i don't know because i've i've smoked all the time i've been doing comedy and writing so man that would be that would be like torture like if i couldn't if the ideas came to me less yeah i think that's what what he was saying but i think you can you could probably get around that with other stuff that's good for you like alpha brain and you know there's a bunch of different nootropics you could take that gum that you were chewing on earlier you got some alpha brain in here yeah it's right here i got this is the new [ __ ] this is the alpha brain black label it's the strongest version of alpha brain we've ever made that's it's the bomb diggity can you get me some of this cocky i'll give you a bottle you can take that hell yeah i'll give you a fresh one that one's on off empty um hey i'm gonna be the guinea pig i'm gonna come back cause this is i'm this is my last day okay well this stuff is very good that stuff i take before any ufc anytime like if i'm doing a podcast with a scientist i take those like sometimes you'll see in the beginning of a podcast i'm like oh jesus i'll throw six pills down throw it and i would think they're probably like what the [ __ ] is he doing you do a podcast with like with like a liar you know like when you had to goop the guy on he i don't think he's a liar he's just he's not a liar he's he's the face of he's the face of medicine in his eyes you know he's uh he's a neurosurgeon that's what he is you know he's a good guy i like sanjay a lot i really do he's just he's in a system you know and the system doesn't tolerate any dissent or it doesn't it doesn't tolerate anybody crossing lines and looking at things objectively or even taking a chance and like looking at something that may or may not be but why the because because you have to get hired and you have to keep working and you have to be accepted by your peers and all these other people are all squares all those people he's working with are squares but meanwhile what the [ __ ] is happening at cnn they keep catching pedophiles you
see that two different pedophiles have been busted at cnn one guy one guy was uh chris cuomo's producer and another guy was uh i think he worked with jake tapper who i respect very much i like jake tapper a lot i think he's probably the best journalist how do they catch him i don't know man there's uh all these stories online about it like this creeps out there there are creeps out there they're real and they get regular jobs sometimes you know and it's and oftentimes they have jobs where they're like i'm exposing the you know the criminal underbelly of you know what oh right right yeah right it's like who's the biggest host is the girls are always calling everybody else a hoe right right yeah yeah there's always there's people like that out there who you least expect yeah there's like there's cops that are also criminals that's a that's a real normal thing like cops have become drug dealers and criminals and they they commit crime and they've got like a way to understand like how people get caught because they did catch people it wasn't one of those serial killers would he end up being a cop oh for sure famous ones guaranteed yeah i mean i don't know about famous ones but guaranteed or like or priests like touching little kids oh yeah well that's the darkest [ __ ] because the priests are they're in this weird cult where you're not allowed to have any sex like that is the strangest [ __ ] thing ever and you know the reason why they came up with that because the priests were [ __ ] everybody the priests back in the day were like rock stars they were rock stars they were banging everybody because they were literally the mouth of god well it's like that in all of the non-like all the judeo-christian faiths where you don't have that restriction the cat the the pastors are rock stars oh you know like yeah all the churches i came up in oh yeah the pastors were [ __ ] everybody everybody yeah hey pastor jesus like oh everybody's flirting with the pastor that's wild
yeah yeah yeah those pastors are banging everybody that's always been the case remember jim baker and tammy faye baker he was banging jessica hahn oh i don't know it was a big scam those names sound familiar but i don't remember the scam well the reason why i remember is because like i'm older than you and it was a big deal on tv because jim baker was one of those he's still on tv now now he sells like he sells like disaster food and uh it's it's kind of hilarious he sells disaster food and he sells it in these like red bins like these buckets of like freeze-dried disaster gruel and like he he's like but if you don't have anywhere to put it you can use it as a table and like so they have these these things stacked up and they have like a tablecloth over it and they they use it as like stools and stuff and it's like where you store your disaster food so people ah geez people are fall people fall for anything nowadays man that's the thing when people don't trust the government and they don't trust the news yeah it's so easy to to get dude i've read some [ __ ] the other day about um uh this company called black oxygen organics have you heard of these no boo hashtag boov these [ __ ] get this joe they're selling dirt they're selling people dirt and they're telling me it's a miracle cure you can drink it you can bathe in it what you can put it in your hair yeah dirt it's dirt but is there something in the dirt nope nothing there's nothing special about the dirt it's just it's just dirt and you're supposed to drink this dirt you can drink you can drink it you can you can make you can put it in your in your in your bath water people are washing their babies in the [ __ ] dirt what yeah it's it's a multi-level marketing oh my god magic dirt how do i not know this there's too many things to know how the internet fueled and defeated the pandemic's worst mln what's an mlm multi-level mark it's a pyramid oh pyramid scheme okay black oxygen organics became a sudden in the fringe world of alternative medicines and
supplements where even dirt can go for 110 bucks a bag yeah what the [ __ ] man how did i not know this when is this what does that say march of 20 what did it scroll up a little bit december oh recent okay social media posts started in may photos and videos of smiling people mostly women drinking mason jars of plaque liquid oh my god what the [ __ ] slathering black paste on their faces and feet dipping babies and dogs in tubs of black water they tag the post hashtag and linked to a website that sold a product called black oxygen organics difficult to classify as market as fulvic acid fulvic acid i've heard about i think that's like a real supplement right oh that was dug up from an ontario pete bogg the website of the canadian company sold it is build it as the end product the smallest particle of the decomposed decomposition of ancient organic matter okay wow well there's always there's a bunch of scammers out like we were talking about earlier sociopaths a gift from the ground they called it uh it's like yeah it's like you can and the reason stuff like that thrives is because people don't trust the official yeah there's a little bit of that and there's also a little bit of the they know that they're getting [ __ ] over by pharmaceutical companies you know we played this ad the other day of this uh what was it a anti-sleep it was a sleeping thing it helps you go to sleep but they listed off all the things that could possibly be side effects including suicidal thoughts not being able to move your legs all these different things like jesus christ like how about you stay up suicidal thoughts yeah oh my god it's a big it's a big problem yeah it's a big problem with a lot of uh anything that [ __ ] with the mind like all these different things that [ __ ] with your mind all these different that even ssris some of them have suicidal thoughts attached it was just that skin [ __ ] did that too right the um oh yeah yes yes accutane yeah [ __ ] talk to uh santino yeah i did i talked to him oh my god he said it was great because he it stopped his zits
but he goes he almost [ __ ] killed himself like it was rough that's crazy yes i have several friends that had suicidal tendencies because of some sort of a pharmaceutical drug and sometimes it's the [ __ ] that's supposed to treat treat depression yeah because like i some of the stuff that i was on before because because a lot of times what happens is when you're depressed you don't have the motivation to do anything so even if you want to die you don't want to do but when you start taking antidepressants you you're there's a point where you're still depressed enough to want to kill yourself and you then you have just enough motivation to [ __ ] do it so when you the most dangerous time is when you first start taking them oh my gosh you got energy yeah you get just enough energy just enough motivation where you're like i think i can pull this off you know have some of that all right is this weed oh okay of course it is i was looking the end of the lung thing this is do you i don't even know if i believe it but it's in the article so we'll go with what's lungs from pack-a-day smokers safe for transplant study funds study funded by i know that's where i started to get into rj reynolds it said they looked into it said like 13 of double lung transplant people were in quotes like heavy smokers which means at least a pack a day for 20 years maybe two packs a day for 10 years oh my god yeah typically these men smoke at least a pack of cigarettes a day for 1 to 20 years or 2 packs a day for 10 years 2 packs a day is wild in the end after all variables were accounted for people got lungs from heavy smokers lived as long and as well as those who got lungs from tobacco-free yeah but you know what they're saying though the thing is people that get transplanted organs they don't live that long that's look i have a good friend and he got a transplanted heart and he's a wonderful person and he's on all core sorts of crazy medication because of this you talk about superman ct fletcher yeah yes i love him to death yeah he's he's amazing he was my he was my david
goggins before i knew who david augustine yeah he well he's super super motivational and [ __ ] and he's become a different person uh post heart attack and post uh transplant he's like like it's really he still doesn't take any [ __ ] or excuses but he's much more like loving and open and he realizes this new gift of life and this new take on life and also he thinks he's got a woman's heart when he knows it's a woman but he thinks it's an asian woman and he's not i don't think they tell you that but like he's like got feelings that he because the the heart has neurons in it you know and they think they don't know where memories are exactly stored you know some leftover um what are the cells that recover everything um i don't know i think it's neurons the [ __ ] they use they take from like fetus from a stem cell themselves yeah it could be like some some some residual stem cells like shooting through your body or something yeah i don't know if your your body contains memories in other things it does i don't know it's called no that no they know it does it's called um god damn i just say i i didn't take my on it but it's called it's it they're because they've they've figured out there's something left in your dna from the trauma of your grandparents and your parents i believe that there's so there's what the [ __ ] is the name of it i believe that for sure um i don't know yeah well somebody will screen put it in the comments people are screaming right now yeah you [ __ ] idiots if i was on that show yeah um but it is something it's there's something to that but but if you get somebody else's heart is their dna in the heart still obviously it has to be well there has to be something right because the heart is still beating they keep they get in in your body they make it beat so it's the same tissue there are genetic memories though i
would i would imagine that you know that's i think there was a study that showed and i think this was like a recent discovery over the last few decades that there's as many neurons in the heart as there are in the brain see if that's true um or maybe the second highest source of neurons in the body and the idea was that like that whole idea of like trust your heart like trust your like trust your heart being that it was uh actually not not just a saying but there's probably something to that there's probably like instinctive some maybe even some kind of thinking that's done with with that part of your body which doesn't make any sense because we think of thinking we think of the mind we think of you know the the the neuro so i googled the thing about the heart but i was thinking something different than what you said and i got the same answer for both things so it's very strange that there's two different things called the second brain our little brain and i don't know which we want to go with it says the heart has pulled up let's see what's up it says the heart has approximately 40 000 neurons that are like neurons in the brain meaning the heart has its own nervous system jesus christ yeah so this is 91 the discovery check this one though okay stomach oh my god well that's the other thing your gut instinct sometimes referred to as the second brain is the nervous system of the gut it contains some 500 million neurons is that the same amount would the say for the heart 40 000 oh my god that's a lot more how many in the brain though that's a good question billions billions so there's way more in the brain and then the second is not the heart it seems like the second is the gut according to this because i've heard of things uh what's the thing that uh not sick i think it's serotonin um that can i know that's like it's like the happy thing and dopamine whatever but there's something because this is a
pill you can take that makes you not throw up and it and what it's doing is it's stopping that that chemical from going from your stomach to your brain it's just sort of like kills that forget what it is you know there's a thing that vegans always say that like and i think there's probably some validity to it ouch this is this is the thing that a lot of vegans say is that like the diet promotes kindness and i don't think it's just that it's kindness and that you're not killing an animal i think there's probably also kindness in that you're eating only plants so your brain doesn't think it needs to think in a more vicious way i think there's probably something to eating meat like hicks and gracie used to say that a lot that hicks and gracie's the greatest jiu jitsu fighter of all time he's like the legendary patriarch of the the gracie clan he's the he was the head dog he was oh okay he was the guy like back in the day he's not the most famous because that's not the thing is his brother and horse was the the guy who won the first ultimate fighting championship and a bunch of other ones um hoyce will tell you he tells everybody that hixon's 100 times better than him hicksom was widely regarded as the man i mean like there's not a lot of agreement in jiu-jitsu because you're dealing with thousands of black belts right thousands of killers and there's guys at the elite elite level and it's they're kind of interchangeable you know if you say like who would win it was salubero or this guy or rafaelavato or that guy like these there's this level of jiu-jitsu where everybody's an assassin right but hixon was the assassin of the assassins okay hixson used to they used to do these seminars so hixson would teach these seminars and they would line up black belts line them up like 10 world-class black belts and hixson would cap them one after the other with no break tap one after the other and he wasn't doing anything like like it was physically overpowering them he wasn't like bigger than them he wasn't unbelievably fast it wasn't he was all those things i mean he was like elite athlete like they all were but it wasn't
that it was his mind and his understanding of jiu jitsu was superior to everyone else's his he had like innate talent but he also had crazy dedication and discipline and he had an understanding of jujitsu that was off the charts that's crazy you know i've been following recently have you heard of this kid um mikey masamuchi masamuchi yeah oh my god he's an assassin just [ __ ] kid man he's an assassin he's a and he's he's likable like yeah like nunez almost sweetheart yeah but this this this i just watch everything he does yeah i think musamechi is how you say musa magic yeah he's uh i've seen him uh live a couple of times uh they do this thing in austin they were doing it once a month it's called who's number one it's these professional jiu jitsu matches that they'd have in austin that they'd stream on flow combat or flow grappling yeah that's what i was watching yeah dude this it's wild to see them live you know i'm gonna come back down i'm gonna comment down next time like this i will let you know we'll schedule a podcast around it like afterwards okay we'll go to it and then you can see it and that'd be a good way if you get in shape you're a strong person you could you would probably do great at jiu jitsu you think so yes your [ __ ] house man yeah maybe i mean yeah because i got to do something you you you're obviously like not just overweight you're very strong like there's a lot of muscle there so if you just trim away at the fat and do it slowly where you don't hurt yourself like don't try to get crazy in the beginning just you gotta check your ego you're right just learn and roll it's exhausting and the beautiful thing about that is you walk out of there like you don't want any trouble about anything like everything is no big deal someone's just trying to kill you people are just trying to kill you oh yeah well there's there is there is something to there's something to being in shape and knowing that you can [ __ ] most people up it doesn't help that makes you it calms you yes in a way that like you don't start [ __ ] because it's like because the the stakes are it's like walking around with a grenade in your pocket exactly
it's like you know listen either this is nothing or i'ma kill somebody exactly right and like there's something about like that's why you never see you don't see very many ufc fighters you don't hear about them getting in bar fights i mean it's not not the best ones that's for sure if you go to like the top of the teams well john is uh he's a look this is a thing it's like i'm not making excuses for anybody's behavior but i am saying that the best of the best are wild they're they're risk takers no i agree like lars taylor yeah they're crazy yeah i think you have to be like mike tyson i think you have to be to be that goddamn good there's a there's like a level of good you know like like hixson was never like an out of control guy in that regard you know there's a lot of jiu-jitsu guys that are not out of control guys but they're the best the best but there's some fighters that like the thing that propels them is this like wildness that they have this ability to like in the moment take great risks and also be very creative in the moment and do wild things and sometimes that is the difference between the very best and the elite like jon jones had some [ __ ] close fights man this alexander gustafsson fight that [ __ ] went to the wire well the first one yes the second one he destroyed but the first one literally wasn't training literally was not trained crazy was not training imagine imagine being that confident were you like i'm not even gonna train it's there's a lot of psychology behind it and he was actually telling me he was admitting it that there was fights that where he would go go out and party hard like get really [ __ ] up the week before the fight and he said i think i did it because i had a built-in excuse so that if i i beat them or you know i beat them i could be these [ __ ] even from partying but if he loses he goes yeah but i was partying so he kind of proved that with the gustafson fight right he won the fight and he won the fight in the fifth round too by the way the fifth round he poured it on gustafson when he wasn't even in shape and he wasn't even training that's how good jon jones is yeah i love watching him fight bro there's that division you got to realize that division is super ultra
competitive right unless jon jones is in the mix then it's not competitive yeah jon jones dominates everybody well that's that's what i that's why i was so like when nunes lost like i almost couldn't believe what i was seeing i was like yeah yeah cause i'm sitting there watching with other people and i'm like and i and i and i bet money on the on the poirier fight who'd you bet on poor egg you bet on puerto rico yeah cause i was like there's no way he just came off that the fights with connor i was like there's no way he's gonna lose but but but i you know i'm not as big a fan as so my homie is the one he's the joe rogan in our group where he knows so much that if anything i don't understand he just explains it you know yeah he was trying to tell me no man oliver is a [ __ ] monster and i'm like oliveira is a monster people think of oliveira as not being a monster because there's times that people have beaten him like paul felder smashed him and there's a lot of guys that beat him cub swanson ko'd them guys have beaten him but he got better and you gotta you gotta you gotta accept that and not think of like when he lost because so many people well who gets better at 35 like i'm not i don't believe he's 35 no no i think he's younger than that and he's i think he's 33 and i also think that he got into the ufc when he was 20. and so part of the problem was like he was learning and developing and growing as an elite in an elite organization how old is he 32. oh okay wow so he's been around a long ass time but he came into his own over the last few years which kind of makes sense like he figured it out somewhere around 27 28 but he comes look these guys are elite right they come close to beating him but he finds a way to beat them and the way he does it is so final the way he beat poirier man that choke was so [ __ ] good it was so good yeah and that's the the same way the world found out about him was efrey and escudero who won the ultimate fighter so he was a very good fighter himself he fought oliveira and oliveira took his back same way standing up and choked him
out and that's when we first saw him and the first time i real i recognized him like man this kid is talented and but then it was like his jiu jitsu was really good but maybe his striking wasn't as good as the jiu jitsu and then slowly his jiu jitsu striking merged where he's like equal in both of them he's lethal in he's lethal and striking and lethal in his jujitsu but the difference is his level of jiu jitsu is a a leap higher than most of the people he's competing against i didn't realize that he has the most submissions in the history of the ufc make sure that's true yeah they're pretty sure that's true that also blew up because they were saying that during the broadcast yeah that blows my mind but it's also like everybody i'm always like i'm always in my mind going i want to see this graphic beep oh yes that would have been the fight and maybe it could be maybe it could be still look maybe it could be still khabib might decide at one point in time you know okay charles oliveira holds the record for the most submission wins with a mind-boggling 14 wins click on that because i think it's 15 now because i think that might be a uh article that was written the pre the before the poor ea fight i think i think ah doesn't matter um either way oliveira holds the record and it's the way he does it man there's it's jiu jitsu is a wild thing like there's guys that are smaller than me and i'll grapple with them and i'm in deep danger from the moment it starts with the moment you start sparring because they're just so much better than me they just had better and that's the difference between oliveira and these guys it's like they're all really good standing up he's really good standing up so there's kind of like an even playing field but when that [ __ ] gets a hold of you you're in deep danger terrifying danger well you can't make any mistakes oh yeah 15. see damn this brain is like a steel trap occasionally yeah and he's like yeah it's like the timing could be but scary that way where it's like yeah cause after that fight i went back and watched like all his highlights and all because you know you hear that and it's like
yeah it's a there's a precision there's a there's a predator like like precision where he pounces on the like as soon as you give him an opening yes it's a wrap well see the thing is khabib can do that too but khabib chooses to smash you or what like he the way he says smish smish he smashes people khabib smashes people but if you look at the justin gaichi fight khabib submitted gaichi he almost submitted him in the the end of the first round and they submitted him in the second round and the one of the reasons why he did that now this is supposedly i don't know if this is true but what they said is that and i know this was true that they do like each other and that uh justin actually helped khabib cut weight sat in with them because one of the things about cutting weight is if there's someone there talking to you it helps you through it especially someone they're also managed by the same guy so they have the same manager and they got together and so when they had that fight khabib liked him so he says i'm just going to submit this dude so he got a hold of him did his normal [ __ ] get he gets his wrestling going but then almost this is the beginning of the first round he chose to beat him in a way that he wouldn't have chosen to beat connor when he was on top of connor he's smashing his face and he's going let's talk now let's talk now bam bam let's talk bam just beating the [ __ ] out of him see in this he chooses to go straight to an arm bar it's very unusual for him but this is khabib's respect for geichi as a person as a fighter and also he can do this he can do it this is the end of the first round so he almost catches him at the end of the first round with an arm bar very close but the end of the second round yeah he gets a hold of him dumps him takes his back i mean it's just the precision and then he decided to go for a mounted triangle and so when you watch him do this he does this with such amazing control he's doing it very quickly look how quickly he sets this up just he's just deciding he's gonna do it period from the jump then he locks in the triangle and that's a rap son that is a death triangle look at a good
justin has to tap there's no question at all he's going out and the referee lets him go and justin's out cold like he didn't he didn't struggle at all he tapped and then he went out but the way he did it he went through him he went right through him i think khabib could do that to almost anybody except maybe oliveira i think khabib the guys that khabib beat that he smashed i think a lot of those guys he could have submitted to i think sabi is that a leader especially like at the later stages of his career when he was just the goat he is arguably one of the absolute best submission artists even though he smashes so many people yeah he's arguably one of the very best submission artists as well as being one of the greatest fighters of all time you watch the way he goes through geichi like that that is elite high level precision submission oliveira does that too oliveira does it man it's that's what makes you think like wow that would that would make the fight with khabib so interesting and i know khabib has a lot of respect for him too because khabib said to gaichi there was an article that was reading where you're saying hey you got to be aware of this guy this guy is [ __ ] for real this guy's really dangerous people look at some of the losses that oliveira had you can't look at those you got to look at the wins you got to look at who he is now don't look at who he is five years ago or six years ago look who he is right now was that the last is that the last time he lost i think if no i don't think it's that long ago he he uh had a fight with felder and he caught felder i believe in a guillotine and then felder got out of it and smashed him and stopped him but felder's the [ __ ] man you know people forget how goddamn good paul felder is you know paul felder may have retired and may have never won the title but to push the top back push the top back the other way there you go now do it um but felder is an elite fighter he's an absolutely elite fighter there's there's a thing when you get to the top level of a division where it's on any given saturday night any given saturday night
one guy could be going through camp with a back problem and you know he's trying to nurse a [ __ ] up knee he's trying to do his best and he keeps the fight anyway this is felder so oliveira's got his leg here he came really close to a leg lock but felder can grapple and he's also very strong and very big for the weight class so felder eventually wound up on top and felder beat the [ __ ] out of him on top look at these nasty smashing elbows from the guard i think this is the last time that oliveira lost and if i wanna i wanna guess this is 2018 i'm taking a guess the video was that i'm have here was posted 21 so yeah it's not from then i think i want to say that fight was 2018. but again felder's a [ __ ] monster so but i think he was the last guy to beat oliveira i'm not sure about that though but but who he is right now though that right now that guy is the [ __ ] man that's who he is i'm super excited to see him against gaijin yeah yeah and against gateshe's that's the that's a real [ __ ] not that dustin wasn't a real test too but gaechi is another kind of real test i'm waiting to see i want to yeah felder's last law so that was 2017. okay i want to see the new year's rematch yeah that's going to be interesting if there was anything that was sure if there was anything that felt like a short bit it was it was betting on her man i was i was completely in disbelief one of the biggest upsets ever if not the biggest upset i said it was the greatest upset in the history of combat sports and in the moment i thought that and in time i thought about it i said well all combat sports you got to go to buster douglas versus mike tyson i think that's the biggest upset in the history of combat sports or maybe all of sports yeah but it when it comes to mma holly holm against um against um ronda rousey was very close too that was close too a lot of people thought ronda was unstoppable yeah i think in the in the moment people felt that way yeah but afterwards we're like looking back on it but they didn't think that holly was incompetent like
and they didn't think that juliana was either but holly was an eight-time world boxing champion she was a kickboxing champion like everybody knew she was a nasty threat on the feet juliana did not have the same sort of credentials in terms of like the things that she's won you know so everybody knew she was really tough everybody knew she wanted that fight she was calling for that fight when nobody wants to fight a man to do that she beats a [ __ ] out of people she's knocked out cyborg in one round she didn't look the same dude there's a lot in fights a lot happens she's like she looked thinner she looked because she didn't always had a that definition you know what i mean she well you got to realize the last two fights she's been fighting at 45 because she's the champ at 45. this is a fight at 35. and you know what man she she might be experiencing some sort of a mental breakdown like she said she checked out mentally she said she just checked out which is crazy but sometimes that happens to champions because they're like there's so many people coming to get you all day long everyone's coming to get you imagine being a guy who's a champ like in israel at asanya and all day people are just coming to get you all day people are talking [ __ ] and they want your title all day all day that's all that's your day forever and year after year after year sometimes i think people just get exhausted by that [ __ ] and then they fall apart that's a possibility she also could have not trained very hard because she didn't think that juliana had it in her and she thought she's going to beat julian in the first round or you have like or you don't have anything in front of you you know yeah everyone's behind you everyone's below you you're right you're not or maybe you're just putting in work and you don't feel like you're working towards anything yeah you could get overconfident there's a lot of that and there's also juliana she's a [ __ ] animal that lady's an animal she's so tough like she took it to her on the feet man she stung she's she hung out in a phone booth with the greatest knockout artist in the history of the
both bantamweight and featherweight division yeah the way she knocked out chris cyborg at featherweight you got to say look this is the greatest female combat sports athlete of all time and juliana was in the pocket with her slugging her and and [ __ ] her up with the jab too that was a big part of that fight yeah giuliana kept cracking her with that jab like just just the first time i saw dude just like stumble back yeah what the [ __ ] i know it was wild and she got tired she got really tired in the second round but you know what sometimes a champion like amanda nunes needs to have something like that to just get you back on track oh yeah well her next her next fight's gonna i'm everyone's tuning in another example is george c pierre when george st pierre fought matt sarah most people thought george saint pierre was going to burn through matt sarah but matt sarah cracked him in the first round and ko'd him and george actually tapped to strikes which back then there was like a kind of a ridiculous thing that you should never tap to strikes you know but george is an intelligent guy and he knows that he's in real trouble he's about to go out he had a tab or just go unconscious but either either point that was a giant upset and then george became the george we all know after that fight because after that fight he became much more focused and much more disciplined and much more ferocious inside the octagon it's like he recognized that it could all go away he's in your goat oh yeah that's right oh yeah it has to be it's like there's a bunch of them right like you got to go with hois gracie because he started this [ __ ] you know like yeah there was nobody knew what the [ __ ] fighting was until hoist came around we all had these goofy ideas of what fighting was you know when you when you watched that dude wrap his ghee around you and drag you to the ground and strangle you with his collar everybody was like what when there were no weight classes no weight classes he was fighting gigantic dudes with no rules [ __ ] no rules they were pulling hair you know they were punching nuts you had to watch that [ __ ] on like the on the dvd yeah that you bought from the guy that sold you to jackass and you can get the movies from korea to
fight movies you have to put hoist in your mount rushmore you know if you have a goat list you have to put hoists in there somewhere he's up there he's he's up there he's the most important figure in the history of martial arts and then when you call when you and then in terms of entertainment value though i gotta put i gotta put the spider in there oh yeah anderson in his prime because that's what cause i would because obviously like before before i would i would watch ufc if it was around like if somebody had one of the dvds well and then it's when they first started getting on pay-per-view and i remember being at my boy's house in boston and i think this was this was the year the red sox broke the curse so what was that 20 2012. i don't know no no no no i had to be way before that but anyway and i remember watching him just just play with uh that schoolteacher what was his name rich franklin rich franklin just play with because he was he was insulted that they that they picked him to fight him i don't think that's true no no no he was actually he had a very friendly relationship with rich franklin he actually liked rich franklin and like uh and at the end of the fight after rich franklin got smashed the second time rich franklin actually said very nice things about him like he's a good man and you know do don't boo this man this man is an amazing person and he is i mean richard's amazing person right yeah rich is an amazing but i think anderson and him were friends but he especially towards the second fight it's just anderson was so much better than him well he would that's what i'm saying is like he would win in ways where where it looked like he would do like stuff you would see in a movie yeah well he did he did an upward elbow you wanna hear this crazy story there's a crazy thing that he saw in like an ongbok movie where it's a step four to the side upward elbow and he kept telling people that he was gonna knock this dude out with an upward elbow
and his his trainer was like hey man you got to stop [ __ ] around like don't try to do stupid [ __ ] like that don't stick to the game plan you're fighting a tough guy and so he had his wife hold a pillow at home so he wouldn't even practice it in front of his coach so he'll go home and have his wife hold a pillow and anderson would step in and blap step in and play stepping in with this crazy elbow and they decided he was going to use it in the fight check this out watch this oh my god i mean that's how good anderson silva was what is this trainer saying after that his trainer probably went [ __ ] you know you only see a guy like that once in a lifetime if you're a coach and usually it's on the other side usually you're facing them you know anderson in his prime and he came into his prime in that organization too that was an organization in um in in england was that called cage warriors cage rage there's cage warriors is the new one there's a there's another organization like that that's like a top level organization in england but in cage rage he fought a lot of guys and uh he fought lee murray and that was a gigantic fight because lee murray was that crazy english hoodlum the hoodlum who uh robbed the bank you don't know the story he was a part of the biggest bank robbery in like the history of great britain oh wow it's like some [ __ ] lock stock and two smoking barrels type [ __ ] like they made a movie about it they made them well they're making a movie about it guy richie is making a movie about lee murray that's how wild this [ __ ] dude is he's still in jail right now there's like i think they stole like 80 million dollars something crazy like that but these guys had like full-on tactical gear [ __ ] machine guns like the whole thing ufc fighter lee murray who robbed a bank for 90 million like wait a minute so this was wait a minute so he he robbed the bank and he was fighting in the ufc he was fighting in the ufc while he was a
full-on criminal ah i love that [ __ ] i mean a full-on criminal that's real outlaw like how can you be see that's that's the kind of [ __ ] you were talking about yeah with jon jones wildness where it's like i this isn't enough this is not enough adrenaline being in the ufc well um go to the fight that he had with anderson because everybody was scared of lee murray everybody was scared of lee murray anderson i didn't know that he eased him up anderson pieced him up man anderson toyed with him he played with his food this is not and this is in the ufc no this is in cage uh cage rage as well but it was a tough fight because lee murray came for blood and this was an anderson when he's in his 20s we got to realize like the anderson that we got in the ufc we didn't get him until he was like 33 or 34 i believe it was his first fight was he already passed his prime when he got to the ocean riding the very peak of his prom but i think he came into his prime in cage wars and cage rage rather because at cage rage he fought real tough guys and it was a there was a big organization in england but most of the people in america did not know these fights are going on and he's fighting guys like jorge rivera he's fighting lee murray he's fighting tony frickland and i forget who else he fought in there but dude i'm telling you anderson can do it all he could grapple he was dangerous off of his back he was comfortable everywhere and lee murray was an animal go a little further in the fight we see when anderson starts destroying his legs so somewhere towards the end of the fight like the last round anderson's like just chewing on his legs there it is and he just did that over and over and over again and lee was in real trouble like that you get into a position like lee's in right now where that left leg just doesn't work anymore yeah you haven't got i'm sure you got kicked in the leg that [ __ ] is no joke oh it's horrible and they have a guy like anderson kick you in the leg [ __ ] and he's doing it right now and he just used his muay thai he was just he was a muay thai wizard a technical wizard and just
again these guys that are at the top of the heap they're so they're so creative and they're so explosive and they're so wild like they could take these chances in the heat of a gunfight and they find these openings and anderson used to find him in these spectacular highlight reel ways like that front kick that he hit vitor in the face with yeah jesus always his highlight his highlight reel might be like the most entertaining of anyone the knees to rich franklin we just broke his whole face and the closest thing we saw today was when jon jones started doing that yes in a different way john was more it was a lot of smashing people on the feet but it was more the wrestling and the destruction once you get a hold of you were there submissions or ground and pound you could just feel the intentions were like i'm gonna i'll crush your skull yeah yeah the type of people that that's a scary [ __ ] there's a lot of scary [ __ ] in the ufc but they're nice people most of them are really nice yeah you know those kind of people that you have to apologize to yeah you have to yeah but most of them you know they're just it's this is what it is i mean it's an insane sport how do you deal with that when people like have a problem with your commentary and all that i try to be very fair always with my commentary and i'm also very respectful like even if i if you think that my commentary was biased or one way or another you'll never think i'm disrespectful because i try to unless someone's doing something dirty like there was a girl in this last fight that was uh uh jillian robertson she was trying to gouge jillian robertson's eye out like she she had her in a rear naked choke and this girl kashuera stuck her [ __ ] thumb deep into her eyeball she didn't get caught we were calling it she did it twice she's reaching for it like while she's getting choked she's trying to find the eye and then she shoves the thumb in the eye we played that right it's horrible you want to see it yeah yeah of course you do it's horrible yeah if i was when i was younger i'm gonna be disrespectful get up and just kick her
right in the [ __ ] that'll be disrespectful it's not just cheating you could ruin a person's career like if you scratch their eyeball with your with your thumbnail you 100 could ruin their eyesight you 100 could end their career you could like they could lose their eyesight it happens it's it's not 100 common but it's common enough and there's enough eye injuries where you know that that's a unnecessary and it's also an egregious cheating move that's so obvious you're letting the whole world see that you're cheating it's not like you might have accidentally touched someone's eyes because like they're coming towards you and you had your hand out your hand went in there but it was a total accident this is not that this is your digging your thumb hey watch this look at her she reaches up watch this she reaches up finds the eyeball and digs her thumb in the eyeball and that girl just winced her eyes and just choked her harder i remember i saw the uh accidental one right when it was like it was like vitor versus um randy couture was it oh that was a different thing that was the cut the eyelid oh okay yeah vitor hit randy with a punch and just randomly it sliced across the eyelid so he couldn't close his eyes and then he lost the belt off that yes then he came back and beat him in the rematch and both of them were like upset about it like but you don't want to win that way and you know what that's why a lot of people are upset with uh what is it algerian sterling right it's because right the way you won right but you know what you're celebrating as if you dominated and you wait and you won on on a humble because you were he was getting [ __ ] up he wasn't getting [ __ ] up but he was losing the fight and he was in a situation where peorian uh asked if it was okay i think he was confused as to what the rules are if you have one knee down or two like when is it when is it a downed opponent because they've changed the rules a little bit and in some places you can have one one hand down and you're you're still up in other places it has to be two hands if you have two hands down then they can
attack you um but if you have one hand up you can't they can attack you so if two hands down you're considered a down opponent so someone can't knee you in the face but if you have in some places one hand down and one hand up they can knee you in the face and i think he was asking whether or not he could and someone said yes i think someone in his corner gave him bad advice and he need him in the face this is a this is the story that's the narrative whether it's true or not i don't know but yeah right i mean you're right he wasn't getting [ __ ] up don't come for me al james i love algebra but he was losing that fight for sure i think he was why hasn't the rematch happened yet uh well because al jamaine had to get neck surgery al-jamain uh had to get a disc replaced in his spine it's a serious [ __ ] injury and i tried to get him to uh avoid it and i actually sent him to my doctor because i had had a um an issue with my discs as well in the past and they can they can do some stuff with with uh regenikine and with stem cells and reduce inflammation and and maybe whatever bulging disc issue you have might be able to go away but the problem is that these guys they they train so hard and so often that for them to take a long time off to let something heal they're not that inclined to do that and apparently it was bad enough that they decided to go ahead and there's a couple guys in the ufc that have had that done where they have fake discs i know one guy had him in his back and his neck yeah there's no way there's no way i keep fighting they love it man it's it's the most exciting thing in the world to them and that's what they're the best at are there are there ever so comparing it to what we were talking about with comedy do you do you think cause there's people that are like they're built like that up here really they love to fight they do it for free what they do for cheap and then there's people that are like do you ever come across fighters where it's like you're you're you're good at this but you don't have it like you're not this well those guys find out they find out
as time goes on generally they quit but sometimes you think they're going to be like that and then they figure it out like charles oliveira charles oliveira used to you know there used to be fights where it looked like he fell apart but that's not the case anymore he figured it out so it's you can never tell someone the only time you should tell someone it's over is when they've taken too many knockouts and they're they're you know they're losing their ability to take a punch and they're realizing and also like if they're kind of in it just for a paycheck uh dana white actually just accused nick diaz of that he said he doesn't want because nick is a great fighter but he doesn't want to fight like i don't want him to fight because he's fighting for like as a job he's not fighting because he wants to fight give him a pension ah isn't that funny yeah get a fighter because man i'm gonna tell you something about the fighters and like for me it's heartbreaking when you find out that like you know because that's a that's a hell of a choice to make with your life right and because even if you're even if you're really really good you may never make it to the top right and and and to watch some of these people that have like sacrificed their bodies and their their wits and and and they or they can't bend down and play with their kids and to just watch them struggling financially like or when it's over or to watch them taking those kind of fights where it's like it was over a long time ago but they can't yeah afford to stop do you think that they should set up a pension for fighters just automatically once they become part of the ufc like you take a percentage and maybe the ufc meets that percentage and they they set something aside for every fighter yeah it's got to be they've got they've got to like here's the thing people say well you should be able to plan your life out after fighting oh yes agree you're in charge of your own life however you really can't do a lot while you're fighting
because it's so hard the amount of training that that's involved in like say if you're a henry saruto who's a not just an olympic medalist but a two division champion in the ufc just a [ __ ] savage of a man the way that guy trains there's not a lot of time to start a business there's not a lot of time to you know you know get together a bunch of investors for a startup like the [ __ ] out of here that's not happening and whenever people are against because i'm not just talking about fighting too i'm talking about football and basketball and all those other things whenever people are against the athletes they always talk about the they talk about the millionaires like the top but most of the people in the ufc are not millionaires right and they don't you know it's like maybe the top top guys can can go into announcing or commentating or even start a podcast or whatever but there's people the vast majority of the roster they they don't have that option right well you get you start making money when people are paying to see you yeah and you and you don't even get points unless you headline it or it's a championship right so it's like what percentage of the fighters are are the top of the card i mean it's it's not it's not realistic for you to expect everybody to have something else because you can't be the champ you can't be going after a goal like that and have another thing you can't no you could what i'm saying is like if you had a safety net so if there's some sort of a pension that gave you a safety net so at least when you got out you had a year or two to figure out what you could do and then you start reviewing your options but you know your bills are paid for a while so you don't have to like immediately panic and try to figure your life out and there's the other problem that fighters have is that being a fighter is all it also becomes a part of their identity and they don't want to let it go like that that's a big part of their identity is that they're a fighter and so when they stop being a fighter they don't they kind of don't know who they are for a while schaab talks about that you know that he kind of
was still connected to this identity for a while he's completely abandoned it now and he's way happier but before it was a part of the way he was looking at it he was looking at himself like this is his identity yeah i i deal with it with a lot of with a lot of veterans too where it's like your identity is one thing and now it's completely gone right and how do you identify yeah you know yeah that's tough to do with any that trying to make that lifestyle transition well in both things you know obviously for different reasons both things are insanely um there's a lot of action there's a lot happening right if you're a soldier that's an incredibly intense job if you're deployed in combat yeah i've never experienced it but by all accounts it is a wild [ __ ] crazy experience to be in a gunfight and then to go back to regular life for some folks is very hard and some folks actually would rather be in action than they would be or at least in theater yes right at least somewhere around it and it's also there's a camaraderie that they experience with fellow soldiers that's missing from so much of our society or the the intense bond that people have yeah when they do things together like that like you just have there's like you can't replace it and it doesn't even have to be as intense as a as a gunfight like no i was not in no gunfights you know and i but if you suffer with someone else yeah suffering is how men bond anyway you know it's like we if we suffer together and we make it through some [ __ ] yeah we're friends yeah and we it it's forever like like it's at least it's very strong yeah you know there's a like to to this day i gotta i've been i served what 15 years ago and to this day every year on the marine corps birthday we have like a group phone call and take a shot and like reminisce that's nice you know and it's like yeah and those are the only people from my pa like those are the only friends from my past that aren't comedians like you don't get that [ __ ]
if you used to work at xerox right you know what i'm saying exactly nobody's like bro we did the [ __ ] time in xerox together my brother it's like because i was like hey remember that time we remember that time we almost died yeah exactly yeah that's a whole other thing yeah there's things that like fight teams have similar sort of friendships and rivalries and then when like it's like when guys are trained together then go down to hate each other my god they hate each other like more than like ex-wives more than anybody there's like because there's like a betrayal of that bond now that person's a traitor now they have to suffer that happens guys that's such a classic [ __ ] trope in mankind you know the people are close then the person rejects the person that's close it lashes out at them and then there's a fight and some sort of a struggle people's lack of ability to work things out is always pretty [ __ ] astounding we had a guy in our group that he told he told everyone he was dying oh no yeah and so we normally you know we you know we lose contact we lose touch we still get together try to get together for the call but this was the middle of the year and he he he told everyone he was dying and so we everybody's connecting again we all come together on this on this group chat and reminisce it and telling them we love them and all this other [ __ ] and he was supposed to be doing like he was supposed to be uh doing the like state assisted suicide like in oregon you can do that oh boy yeah and so he so we thought he was dying the next day you know and and we were supposed to get contacted by his family that you know for arrangements and all that sort of [ __ ] and so like two three weeks go by and i keep like hey man did you talk to such and such like yeah i just see i just i just saw him on facebook like what so you know and slowly everyone starts realizing he's still alive but it's weird to be upset that a friend of yours
is not dead but in this situation it was like what the [ __ ] was all that about like it was all it was all [ __ ] did you talk about this on stage no not yet you got some new material my friend you think so [ __ ] yeah with your style of comedy this is a hundred percent a a great bit yeah am i am i bro there's something write that down there's something very funny i've never thought about the triad on stage it's you have to there's something very funny and someone pretending pretending that they're gonna die and then you wait and they haven't died if you're like you know what the [ __ ] can you actually get upset yeah he he he's still alive do you know what i'm saying what did he say was wrong he he said that um it was something wrong he said he had he had whatever the last stage of cancer is in stage four i think so yeah he had stage four cancer in like his stomach or his pancreas or something and it had already moved to his lymph nodes so it was like inevitable so none that's true well he's still alive i mean it was he said it was terminal how long ago which is why the state would let him try to kill himself oh so this was maybe this was this was right before the lockdowns this was like maybe january or february they might have canceled sometimes they're wrong about that like sometimes they think someone's only gonna last a month and they last a few years yeah but here's but here's the thing though joe you don't call all your friends and go i'm dying tomorrow i'm choosing to go out on my own terms i'm dying tomorrow in fact i'm drinking i'm drinking the the first part of the drink right now i love y'all you know the first part of the suicide drink right so there's a two-piece i think there's a two-piece drink and then you do assisted suicide no no that's that that's what it is that's suicide i'm sorry i'm getting confused with there's a pod that they do now oh in oregon no is that in oregon i think it's in like someone in sweden yeah suicide pod yeah the thing they [ __ ] got on dr kevorkian about but
they basically have like does it does it poison you the pod poison you or is it like a place where you're rot like it's built in doesn't it just replace doesn't just replace the gases until you pass out is that what it does yeah i think i think so but i don't know it's the dying on purpose the problem with that is that people kill people that's the problem with that it's like sex you know that's the problem because if people wanted to just end their life like if someone's in horrible agony and suffering it's the last days their life they've lived a long life and they've been dying of this very painful disease who are we to stop them from doing that's what i say but okay creative suicide pop wants you to make body implant that would kill you if you forget to deactivate it oh my god this guy's crazy holy [ __ ] like you got to solve you got to solve a puzzle to live that's funny as [ __ ] well you know kevorkian was really wild too he was a crazy person like he wasn't just a guy who was uh helping people he was also drawing really twisted images i was a kid when all that happened did you ever see his artwork no when people saw his artwork they were like hold the [ __ ] up like because it wasn't as simple as he's he's a compassionate man and he's helping these people and i agree with all that that you should be able to do that you most certainly should be able to end your life if you're in agony and why why do we do that to dogs and we won't do that to a loved one the problem is that people kill people like look at his his drawings oh that's kind of dope yeah so this one is like a demon or a soul clawing because i guess it's a person because look those fingers are that their their fingers are shredded off down to the tips of the bone and they're being dragged into this hellscape basement and it says uh the doctor is in that's kind of fire the art is dr kevorkian but a lot of his stuff was like that a lot of his stuff was like more like that like that so here's one where there's a
roman where the guy has his head cut off on a plate with an apple in his mouth and the roman is like holding up the arm that uh has a sword so it's like he's he's got some twisted [ __ ] in there is that is that a like jack-in-the-box fries crossfit no no it's crosses in one bowl and then the other bowl is bullets oh okay that's what's there that's not just crosses there's is the stars and uh the whatever that thing is star of david no it's a triangle yeah right it's a triangle what is that is it that's a nazi it's a nazi cross too that's just like a star oh it is a star david i see it's got the part behind it that i'm confused on and then look the salt and pepper shakers are missiles yeah but the the idea that this is the guy that's helping people kill themselves and his art is like a guy with his head cut off with an apple stuff in his mouth how much does that say at the bottom oh is it for sale no the yeah the one we were just looking at was it did you say 1200 uh that one yeah how much is that eleven eleven hundred might just be 11. oh that's not the original still we should get one for the house we should we should definitely have one of those for the studio let's find one that's not too evil like here's some but a lot of them were very evil looking like look at this wow this uh a chinese um communist party banned on this one guy's wrist and the other guy's wrist is a nazi band and they're holding up a person's head this is not some wild dark [ __ ] this is like cartoony it's like it's like darker than adult swim you ever see those psychedelic things adults windows yeah now look at him there this is imagine this the guy says your grandmother wanted to die she asked me to do it i didn't want to do it i'd rather your grandmother live forever but let's be honest no one's gonna live forever brian is that how he sounded i don't know but i mean his art freaked me out his art changed the way i thought about his whole pursuit like this pursuit that he has of helping
people kill themselves not that i think it's a bad thing i don't but i started thinking about him like oh well what kind of guy does that i mean especially in the 90s of course people this this this definitely because he got convicted right yeah i think he went to jail for it well he ironically didn't kill himself [Laughter] it's kind of erratic yeah put your money in your mouth i think he uh wanted to get out and he wanted to keep arguing that uh this was a uh i'm all about i mean people die anyway like i i just read some [ __ ] the other day where more people die in hospitals than than on than on airlines well you're more likely to die at the you're more likely to die if you go to the hospital healthy than you are to die in a plane crash well what does that mean healthy if you're healthy while you're at the hospital no i mean if you i mean if you're not going in there for something that's already killing you like okay so like maybe like not an emergency room situation so by you mean do you mean accidents or do you mean like like mistakes from like medical malpractice and [ __ ] like that yeah mistakes definitely a lot of that you know there's also a lot of doctors that are really overworked you know like when they're in their residency a lot of doctors are psychopaths too you think so oh yeah dear there's a book called um oh god what is it dead doctors [ __ ] what is the name of the book because if you have any friends that are like surgeons or anything dead doctors don't lie is that it joel wallock um it's the book is basically about no way is that it yeah god damn so the the book is about minerals mostly it's about mineral supplementation and how important it is because we do it for livestock but we don't do it with humans and so he rattles off a list of all these different conditions that are caused by mineral deficiencies and how many of us has have minerally deficient diets because the topsoil of american farmlands has been minerally deficient
for a long [ __ ] time they in a lot of places they have to supplement it so the poor different kinds of fertilizers and different things on the topsoil to help it grow food in it but you're not supposed to grow corn in the same spot year after year for [ __ ] decades it's just not it's not wise it's not how the world works the world doesn't work on mono crops the world works on ecosystems where all the plants and all the animals the animals [ __ ] and the the plants drop their fruit and all of it works together and it's supposed to be almost it all switch up exactly but uh these monocrop agriculture places where they they what was my point what what the [ __ ] was my point we were just we're talking about we're likely to die in a hospital oh joel wallach that's right so joel that's i was like god i went circular with this joel wallock's book one of the things it was about how many doctors die of overdoses they prescribe themselves cocaine and they're supposed to do a [ __ ] uh this he was talking about guys who were supposed to do surgeries and they'd find them dead in a storage room because they shot up and overdosed like they can get ahold of drugs and a lot of them they use drugs to stay awake and they use drugs to go to sleep and there a lot of them are just they're just people just like you know if you get 100 people in a room one of them is going to have a problem with pills right you get 100 there's a million doctors and it's so it's so easy to go from i can totally handle this too yes my shit's out of control so what he was basically saying is that most doctors especially general practitioners have very little knowledge when it comes to nutrition and what's the latest science it was like even the people that are at the top of the food chain no pun intended when it comes to nutrition they have debates over what's the proper diet or what's the healthiest way to do it should you do this way or that way should you fast or not fast there's a lot of debate when it comes to that stuff so these are amongst the people that are studying it there's like this is honest experts trying to figure out what's correct the average doctor spends about eight hours on nutrition
apparently that's what i've read in med school [ __ ] unless you're studying that as a specialty that's not what you focus on so when they start talking about like the body they're talking about like what's wrong and how can they fix it if they're a surgeon or they can they give you a drug if they're not a surgeon like what is or can i send you to someone who's gonna fix it like what what's wrong with you not how did it get there not what's wrong with your body that this is happening not like what's your nutrition like what's the what's the vitamin and nutrient balance of your blood let's look at your hormone profile let's see if you're metabolically healthy they don't do that let me ask you something that's this book this book is basically about that talking about supplementation do you think that if we were if we if we were a healthier society that we would be that it would necessarily be better like an overall effect on society yes yes when people are healthier they're nicer when people are healthier they're more productive when people are healthier they contribute when people are healthier they feel better if you get a group of friends and i get i hate to simplify this again but if you get a group of ten friends and all those ten friends eat well and they exercise and they're they meditate and they try to keep their [ __ ] together and they do their best to be a good person every day you got a good group of people that's great yeah you got to think of the entire country as a giant group of people the more we can have people like that that are living healthy just trying to be nice just trying to do their thing the more we have a better country just like if you have five friends that have their [ __ ] together and they're really cool and they're real friendly and they're real happy for you and they're supportive and then you have one who's just a selfish crazy person all my fat friends are sneaky [ __ ] every single no you're right i um but you know what i'm saying yeah when i when i feel healthier yeah i it's it's yeah i'm nicer better for you it's yeah yeah you're functioning better i mean you can get by then but also there's certain brilliance to
unhealthiness there's certain people that don't give a [ __ ] about their health and they're indulgent and they they smoke a lot and they drink a lot and they do coke and they get wild and they say funny [ __ ] [ __ ] they're really good comics they're really good comics and they work hard at it they're high all the time they work hard at it because there is there is a balance right because you know you can't be like you got to have your days where you just indulge right i think i think for an entertainer you gotta understand like wild fun you gotta understand like real laughs you gotta understand freedom the freedom of like being yourself around your friends and you're all just laughing and talking mad [ __ ] to each other like that helps us it's the best it's the best but it helps us like we have these green room sessions we're all [ __ ] around talking [ __ ] about each other it's that helps everybody it's it makes you so happy it's so fun because the comments about a comic is about to say the funniest [ __ ] when they go i love the god of death but but [Laughter] yeah whenever somebody stops me go bro i love you to death but they about to [ __ ] burn you i'm not saying that you can't do that if you're sober you certainly can but i'm saying that there's a lot of funny [ __ ] that's been said while people are drunk and to discount that seems silly to me i think it's all about a big picture approach and for me like uh i am obviously i work out a lot it's a big part of my life i work out every day almost i do something you know and i i try to keep myself healthy because i know i have this commitment to it but i like to get high i like to get have a couple whiskies in me i like to go on stage just a little high talk some [ __ ] yeah it's fun it's it's a part of what makes the art form fun and i think there's something that comes out of those states of mind that you get to you can get there on your own i've had some great shows with completely sober but i think there's something about comedy that lends itself to altered states of consciousness what i'm when i'm killing because you know that cause obviously i think people throw that [ __ ] around too
much but killing isn't something that happens every day even the best don't just you know what i'm talking about just destroy that feeling that only happens when you're having fun and when you're in another when you're in the zone when you're in a state of conscience when you're fearless and having fun yes and sometimes you you know you find a way to find a way to cheat your way there you get a little cocaine yeah yeah a little something or something something the problem was when people like overdo it they go too far they get too drunk they get too high and they just they get the balance wrong you know and that's it's tricky because there's no one to tell you right like there's no getting drunk and getting high is a lot like doing comedy and no one teaches you how to do it especially especially the real talented dudes because a lot of times what happens is because i have friends like this where it's like they're so talented that they'll get a third fourth fifth chance at a bite at the apple you know what i mean it's like where it's like right what did you do you came to you came to set drunk and cursed out the uh the executive oh they and they go to rehab or something and they go but he's so [ __ ] funny let's just that's the robert downey juniors of the world exactly but he he cashed in on his comeback yeah i mean well he's a different human now yeah he's a fascinating human um i really like him you haven't had him all yeah i've had him on i've had conversations with him like in real world conversations i like him a lot he's a very smart person and he's a guy who turned his life around he realized he had a serious addiction problem and you know that could happen to anybody well that's what was wrong with a lot of these stars is that to them it's like a pr move they [ __ ] they [ __ ] up and then they go away for like two months yeah and they come back i'm renewed but he just he disappeared to the point where people
stopped talking about him and then he went to jail and then he came back and then he was in jail oh i didn't know that oh yeah robert downey jr was in jail and then and then so he got out of jail and then got the iron man roll he got out of jail and just lit the [ __ ] world on fire he smoked that iron man he smokes everything yeah he's an animal he's an animal he's so focused but he you believe him as tony stark you believe he's smarter than everybody because like even the way he talks to like bruce banner like he realizes bruce banner is just as smart as him it's like a level of understanding that they have with each other you know like when he talks to banner he realized like oh this guy's like a genius too yes like that the role he plays is is so smooth like you believe him it couldn't have been anybody like no that can't be another iron man no no [ __ ] chance you could switch your spider-man's all day long you want to switch your spider-man okay you can't switch the iron man not anymore no uh-uh he owns that now they're going through that debate right now with a with chadwick bozeman yeah that's a hard one because they like do you that's a hard one do you wreak because they were saying he would want them to recast it i think he would because it fought he fought so hard to have black panther made right that was a that was a series that they were trying to make that for over a decade it was a long long time coming before they ever actually got that made and it was this massive success and then have it be a massive success with him and michael b jordan in the lead roles and as the villain role was amazing that was good it's a [ __ ] amazing superhero movie and historically it's a very important superhero movie right because there's always like this attitude to like that a black led movie won't do well overseas it's almost entirely black yeah i mean all the heroes all the villains like so much of the cast so much of the village so much of so much of what drives a story yeah there was like maybe like three white guys in the movie that were yeah integral yeah they were cool though yeah but it's like it doesn't have to i mean it's like the
point is it doesn't matter you know it's like what i always say with they doesn't yeah well it's like if you just have it good people want to see good they just want to see good if it doesn't matter if it's all white people or black people or all women as long as it's good and the beautiful thing about that was it was all black people and it was good and it was a huge success and so having it his feeling i'm sure would be he would probably want it to go on but who would want to take that spot i don't know i had i had to see the first one twice because i missed the first 11 minutes because i'm one of my bitch-ass roommates yeah i i can't stand you i'm moving it's already going i don't like being late i'm i'm almost always early yeah if not on time and what happened especially these situations where because you know there's people that don't give a [ __ ] about being on time this is one of my pet peeves and i was ready to leave on time and then this [ __ ] invited himself and i was like okay yeah yeah sure and he was late and then invited everybody else right and and i was going to walk but he's going to drive so he's like well we don't have to leave right now we're going to drive and then he made us [ __ ] late in the whole way people are making you late they talking about the previews oh well it's pretty shut the [ __ ] up maybe i want to see those two i want to see the last preview and the movie start i want to see the beginning so anyway i got robbed of that i love when people watch superhero movies and they try to say it's unrealistic like where's that city how is it hidden what are you talking how come nobody knows about it how did they develop all this technology they just decided like shut the [ __ ] up what is does iron man make sense how about batman nothing batman's a rich guy that's all he is he's dressed as a bat he's a rich guy i i i don't see i'm most people i don't have a problem doing stuff by myself in
public i'll go to the movies alone i'll go to the movies alone on the road oh yeah i'll do that all the time yeah if i'm on the road no even if i'm here i'm like it's a select group i can watch a movie with but if you have a middle act that you like don't you want to take them to the movies without you wow well i mean i'm just now well okay well let me rephrase that i'm just now getting to the point where i can decide who the middle act is in my career oh okay okay but i but i but for the longest time you just like if you're with me on the road it's because you're funny right it don't mean i like being around you or that it means that i don't i i don't hate being around you right right but we don't gotta do everything together right no no who who could replace chadwick boseman who would even be in consideration it would have been after someone young it would have to be an unknown oh it would have to be someone because i think that's what he i think because i think the reason his family's saying that's what he wanted because he was all about that like giving young black actors a shot like new people you haven't heard of and ringing them and so but i think disney decided to go the other way what are they going to do they're going they're going to uh kill him off and have someone else take up the mantle and become the new like have someone that's already in the movie oh really oh and i hope i don't [ __ ] it up i don't know man but the fan base when you're dealing with these comic books yeah it's like because i've seen them flip-flop i've seen them like like they do some [ __ ] remember the sonic movie a couple years ago yeah and they released one picture and people thought the sonic looked ridiculous and they changed the whole movie they reanimated the whole [ __ ] movie well it did look odd it did a little too deep but it's like right not enough to reanimate the movie though think about how many batman's there have been nobody gives a [ __ ] in that wild like there's been so many batman's from adam west to um
uh the comic beetlejuice [ __ ] his name you know what i'm talking about michael keaton michael keaton thank you michael keaton uh george clooney was batman for a little bit val kilmer was a great batman um um look at all them batman's christian bale christian bale was the best batman but they're all ridiculous chris was the best batman and the worst bruce wayne oh they don't have uh homeboy in this ben affleck he's the new batman but it's like that's the thing it's like he does he plays batman and he gets hate like if ben affleck just plays some regular dude in a good movie nobody gets hate robin powers a new one too the guy oh robin pattinson he i bet he could pull it off yeah but also too when and when when people die it's a whole other thing the whole other thing like you can't um because i remember like jay-z's you said this in a in a in a freestyle one time but like he's always been compared to big you know and he's like how i'm supposed to win when you got me fighting ghosts ooh yeah it was cold that was a cold line but but it's like that it's like you can't you can't say you're better than the dead guy never and it's the people that's gonna never let you be better no matter what you do that happens in every sport it happens in everything when you pat like that's hap that's one of the things that happened to larry holmes when larry holmes surpassed muhammad ali when he was the next heavyweight champion everybody hated him because he beat up ali and he never got his due it was like one of the best heavyweights of all time larry holmes had one of the best jabs that has ever been seen in the heavyweight division he was phenomenal in his prime was it didn't he fight mike he did he fought yeah he came out of retirement to fight mike i believe he was 36 but it was like a real 36 like 36 in 1985 or whatever it was like 50. 1988 yeah it's a different different time they were really 36 back then you know like there's guys like bernard hopkins that fight deep into his 40s like i think his last fight was 50 years
old when he fought joseph smith yeah this this is one of them yeah this was tough man but in the second round mike tyson or larry holmes rather gave mike tyson a lot of trouble with his jab the second round okay watch this because in the second round larry holmes came out and he was popping the jab okay this is in the beginning this round he gave him a lot of trouble with that long jab larry holmes in his prime had a [ __ ] phenomenal jab and when he beat guys up with that jab like a jerry cooney fight's a great example he was a a sniper he was one like absolutely one of the best heavyweights of all time so what round is this jamie actually one i don't know it's like a highlight oh it's a highlight so it's not all of them i clicked on two and it seems to but mike tyson at this time could not be denied he was a destroyer he was so scared he was a destroyer he was so much faster than everybody and he was just trying to get close enough to you to unleash hell you know you ever notice how like because i don't i don't you don't see too much of this anymore but like i i remember when i was i was little and mike was the man but there was always like these old dudes that just hated him for being so good somebody needs to teach this young punk a lesson look at that head movement man when do you ever recall a heavyweight having head movement like that like mike's head movement was superb it wasn't just his power it wasn't like just back that up just a little bit jamie just a little bit from where we were so i could see him move his head what could his [ __ ] head movement matt now it's before that go before that because there was a series like right here look at this series of move look at this man this head movement was phenomenal larry holmes is flicking that jab mike tyson is meeting him with his own jab and he's so hard to hit that was part of the thing that people forgot about with tyson was how elusive he was in his prime when he had all that crazy wild head movement so it wasn't just that he got close to you and smashed you it was and as he's getting
close you can't keep him off you you can't hit him his head movement was [ __ ] superb they called what they called the peekaboo yeah peekaboo uh style but it was a lot of bobbing and weaving because you know he was shorter than a lot of these guys so there's a lot look at that head movement phenomenal and just stays on you and he could do that all night and he kept his power deep into a fight mike tyson was a terrifying force of nature when he was the champ when he was at the top of the heap he was different than any heavyweight that ever came before him he was fast as joe lewis and muhammad ali but hit like sunny liston i mean he had everything can you imagine being that young 20. and that was like we're like just with that kind of comments like nobody out here can really stop me from doing anything anything no matter what he was 20 years old 20 years old he was the heavyweight champion in the world yeah man when you just stand there was like it was destiny he was standing like it was destiny like like we all knew was gonna happen it happened and we're like holy [ __ ] you hear him talk about it now sometimes and he sounds like he's talking about a different person yeah yeah i mean it makes sense right i mean it was a long time ago and he took a long time off and it's when you have like memories from 10 15 years ago like how good are they like no you know he probably has to watch his own videos to realize what he did like his memory of it is probably as like flashes of it but even my memory of like yesterday's shitty i mean it's pretty good i can tell you like what happened what i did but my what do i visually remember what how much of the actual experience do i remember very little yeah that's not accurate at all and i i heard and i don't know how true this is but i heard like every time you access a memory the next time you remember it you're remembering the last time you remembered it right not the actual man and you're probably remembering it how you tell it to people too right there's a lot of times people leave [ __ ] out there's
change you know you ever do that with your parents we like were you like mom especially when it was something negative you're like remember that time you uh hit me with that sack of nickels and she's like that didn't happen yeah they do get a little testy like i i remember it happening yeah you remember it but yeah it's convenient back then people hit their kids it was normal it was real normal in fact it wasn't just normal but it was because i talked about this in the special actually oh yeah it wasn't just normal but it was it was expected it was like a sign of good parenting yes that you had your kids in control that's what you wanted to show the public you wanted to show the public that like your kids are under your yoke you know you didn't have no out of control crazy ass kids that was the whole thing so if your mama smacked the [ __ ] out if you smack the [ __ ] out of your kids now everybody in the store is going to be like was that necessary but back then it was like yeah get them you would [ __ ] they would cheer them on in some places they still smack their kids i was in thailand and i was with my family and i went to uh the gym and when i went down the gym to work out i missed out on all this but apparently there was some uh chinese lady with her son and the son did something that pissed her off so she beat the [ __ ] out of him in front of everybody she smacked him in the face and smacked him like three or four more times and she was screaming at him like in front of everybody and all the other tourists are sitting around going what the [ __ ] and this lady just beat the [ __ ] out of her kid in front of everybody yeah it was effective i mean in the short term well the problem with that is that first of all it's horrible and but it also perpetuates more of it in the future like those people are going to be more likely to hit people they care about too right they're going to be more likely to hit their kids and it's going to be the real the real negative impact is that it's going to be their number one
problem-solving skill you know it's like your kid goes into something like you meet you meet adults where it's like they are the first thing they want to do is fight over an issue yeah it's because they haven't learned how to resolve conflict any other way right right you know yeah that it's and it's also like like the final stroke like you can you can press the final button like let's just fight [ __ ] this and like some dudes just want to go right to the final button but like i said though it was convenient you know it's just like how now like people stick their kids in front of an ipad you know instead of spending time with them it was like if your kid was screaming in the store and knocking [ __ ] off the shelves and you wanted to stop right then and there you smack the [ __ ] out of them yeah and you know and it was instant works now you sit there negotiating with your children they and they're going to drive a hard bargain you know but i don't have kids so it's i'm never going to have to worry about that it's tricky the comp the communication with them is very tricky you gotta have uh open communication with them and then you gotta realize that they're you know 10 years old they don't know what the [ __ ] going on and you're having a conversation with them you're trying to explain it to them and you also have to calm them down because there are a lot of times they get upset about something they're not real good at managing their emotions like if one of the sisters is mad at the other one there's like always this kind of conversation and negotiation that has to be held oh wow you got to let a certain amount of time pass you have only doubles yeah do they get mad at each other you gotta let enough time pass so that the the energy levels drop because so a lot of times the way they think about stuff is directly connected to the the anger they feel right then in that moment right they don't know have good management skills they don't know how to not get too mad like there's dudes that can say
something that can piss you off and you go look i could either escalate this or i could just calm down and be a man and not care if this person's insulting or this person's saying something stupid i'm just going to talk to them like how i would talk to everybody and that's on them they want to be a dick that's on them but how long does it take you to learn that forever yeah forever i think it for most people it starts happening right around the time where you don't feel invincible anymore like right when you're like somewhere in your 20s where you you take that first real damage yeah you take that first that first real l it's just it's sound energy management and it's it's sound discipline that applies to your whole life if you can avoid conflict when it's unnecessary because there's people the the weakest amongst us that gravitate towards conflicts constantly because it gives them a distraction from their own shortcomings and failings as a person so they'll gravitate towards fights with people they'll gravitate towards hyper criticism towards one individual and usually it's a sign of someone not looking at themselves critically they usually have glaring flaws but they're not willing to look at those they'll look at other people's flaws and they'll exaggerate those flaws and attack those people that's what that's a lot of what conflict is a lot of conflict is internal and if you're not dealing with it internally the way you externally communicate with other people is a lot of times it's very shitty because you have conflict your your body's in like a state of uncomfortability all the time yes i noticed that a lot of times when i'm when i'm gaming online like you could tell like sometimes people behave a certain way you know what i mean you're just like what the [ __ ] is going on in your house man like you need a hug or something well there's also games elevate people almost to the point of feeling like it's a real thing like the adrenaline that's involved in like if you're in a game of quake for instance and you're running down corridor and people are shooting rockets at you and you're trying to survive and someone's chasing you down it doesn't feel like
your life's really in danger but your system is ramped the [ __ ] up your heart is beating fast your adrenaline is pumping your hands are shaking you're sweating your brain is connecting this to the same type of feelings it would have if you were being physically attacked so though when people say wild [ __ ] when they're gaming a lot of times they're just saying wild [ __ ] because they they literally feel like they're in a war they feel like they're being attacked without the danger so like they don't feel physically in danger but they feel like that's the [ __ ] like you play a game you get done you're like [ __ ] your hands are sweating you're like jesus christ especially close with yes real close ones they're crazy and if you win you feel like the best and if you lose you feel like such a piece of [ __ ] like damn it it's such a bad feeling to lose see that that's one of the reasons why kids are so crazy well it goes along with what you were saying with the the emotional management because it's almost always whenever i get matched up with adults like you solo queue when you get matched up when everyone's pretty much grown yes it's it's very few problems unless unless you're already tilted right right because some people come in and there's some [ __ ] from from previous games yeah they had a smurf on the other team or one of your teammates was throwing or something like that and you and you're just frustrated you you know three matches in a row or some [ __ ] or in the middle of your last one it disconnected the best [ __ ] though is lan parties because lan parties your friends and you're all in the room and you can talk [ __ ] in real time so you look over at each other and talk [ __ ] oh my god they don't do that anymore no because you because you can you can have like there's a there's programs like where you can team speak and team speaks all this [ __ ] but yeah no i know about all that but i think that there's there's got to be room for the conference table get a conference table get a bunch of dudes link everybody up together someone
acts as a server you got zero lag in fact i don't even know if they even design games with that in mind anymore that's outrageous i'm such an old-timer but that was the [ __ ] man when you would play in a room together a bunch of guys would get together in a room and you'd have so much that's how i got addicted to the games the the writing staff of newsradio had a land set up in their writing room and uh we went in there we were playing quake three and i was like you [ __ ] what have you done in my life damn dragged me into your [ __ ] addiction yeah we had no it's quick two that's what it was i remember when uh when halo 2 came out we in the barracks we had we got in trouble because somebody reported as an eyesore but we had we had land cables like 200 foot land cables going across the the balcony like across the courtyard and [ __ ] playing some playing halo had all xboxes all linked up and that was some of the most fun i've had ever had dude when they make that [ __ ] virtual when they get to a point where they can completely recreate a virtual reality situation like a video game but you feel the ground on your feet you got a real gun it kicks when you when you shoot it it's coming you know it's coming for sure it's close as close as you think i mean zuckerberg make that he make that pivot for no reason have you ever done one of them places like sandbox where you go in and you play uh virtual reality games no oh my god dude there's this one when you go into a haunted house and uh it's all filled with zombies and it's you and i've done it with my whole family a couple times my kids are shooting zombies in a virtual reality world it's amazing you wear a haptic feedback vest and you go into this building and inside this building they have these green rooms so you go into like a bigger than a podcast studio maybe double the size of this podcast studio maybe maybe triple uh as far as the whole world no not just us where we are there would be like one room and in that one room everything would be green screened and then you were wearing this full virtual reality gear and so you you put this virtual reality gear on and then they start the
program and then all of a sudden you see the floor you might be on a pirate ship you might be in the middle of the desert it's wild man and it looks cool it doesn't look perfect i mean it doesn't look like the best video games look but it looks pretty goddamn good but i just saw like the next thing like the the unreal engine five so incredible look at the pool we've done that multiple times but we look at it again yeah it's coming to where it's they're there now look at this new haptic feedback vest lets you experience getting shot virtually so that must be like a painful one wow yeah they're gonna they're gonna rig it up to the point where someone's gonna be willing to take a game where you die you virtual reality you're going to duel to the death it's it's going to come a time where the best gamers will also be the best athletes like instead of the top athletes going into the traditional sports if they're going to be doing this [ __ ] and because you're going to have to be athletic to be good at the best you know what i'm saying right because if it does get to a point where it's your body is your player yeah right what you can do in the game is directly proportional to what you can really do well players i mean i would think that anybody who's like an elite level athlete is going to have faster reaction times too and probably be better at handling pressure right yeah um if they if they figure out like i know they've done some other type of places that have like structure like a warehouse and you're doing virtual reality but there's actually like walls and they have walls built in you can touch the walls and move around them and you're shooting at each other and [ __ ] they're they're coming up with all these different places where you go and you pay but this sand house place sandbox place see if you can find the the zombie game it's a something mansion deadwood mansion is that it and uh dude it's the [ __ ] it's like you get zombies just running at you and you're splattering them with machine guns or with the shotguns rather so what do you what are you are the guns virtual do you have something in there you have a plastic gun in your hand
does it have a weight to weight to it it's got a little bit of weight too but also like uh you have to reload it like you have to pull it push it down to reload it you have to do things to reload your gun which makes you panic are there like power ups and [ __ ] yeah well yeah you can get killed too so you're in this house and so this is what it looks like in the room and it looks like a green screen you first turn it on but so this is uh this is the zombies so they're coming at you and you're in this dark like this is what it looks like while you're actually playing it wow look at these dorks but it's fun man i'm telling you here yes you can do it in austin is that the domain it's the [ __ ] look at this come on man how fun is this dude rats are coming out you can stomp at them and the the zombies run at you and there's uh there's also zombies that cling to the walls and they wrap their tongue around you and strangle you things come out of the ceiling how do you keep from bumping into your family you do bump into them you just gotta be nice as someone who's been in vr for a little while now i've been wondering why do you think everything is just killing zombies because it's fun i know but i mean they have to die is it like the reality thing like where it would be too [ __ ] close to reality they kill anything other than that's a good point i think is that it's it's close enough like you're still killing a person but one that you don't have to feel anything for could you imagine if conflict breaks out between us and china and they start having virtual reality games where you can kill chinese people and chinese people can kill americans well don't they already do that i mean not virtual reality but if they if they start to have things like that oh yeah yeah i mean that's inevitable you know people don't realize like how how quickly people demonize other groups how quickly yeah you know you know the first thing we do we always give them a name we always give them a name that because that helps that helps the soldiers like we always give them a derogatory nickname
yeah like that's where all the like the the the a lot of the slurs come from it's like it's someone we fought yeah and we were like in iraq it was like they called them people started calling people haji's right away just something not human just something you don't even it's a it's a concept it's not even like a person right you're othering them exactly you're othering them that's the easiest way to get people motivated you don't have to feel anything for it that's been a part of human tribal relations since the beginning of time yeah it's just how people are there's it's easier for us to think of them as not being human but that's the real that's the real hustle that's the real hustle the real world is just people the [ __ ] up thing is we get we get sent like sectioned off into these government-controlled areas so we had a small group of people that always do a terrible job that we re-elect every time for whatever years they're always terrible at it and we let them lead us into conflict if you eliminated all those people all of them all the people that tell you what to do and you were left with just human beings i feel like we could work a system out i feel like we could work a system out without leaders the problem is when you have leaders and leaders want to do this they want to do that and they want to and then there's companies that are profiting off of things like natural resources like there's something kind of [ __ ] up about making trillions of dollars out of the blood of the earth when you say leaders because every because here's something here's something that i just suspect that everyone deep down wants to be led it's it's just a matter of whether you trust the per like if you trust the person in charge right you you immediately like yes just what do i do yeah we want a real leader right yeah so a leader would always emerge right but they don't not anymore because now the price is too high so it's like the price of digging into a person's personal life or distorting their past is so sketchy for people like like all these
people they all come up with some story of some horrific thing they did right before they they run for election as people know about this so i think there's like a real hesitancy of a lot of brilliant people to get involved in that muckraking and just to feel what it feels like to have that we love to play in the mud but it's also like the type of person that really wants to be a leader is is one of two people right it's either someone who really cares and wants the world to be a better place and thinks they can pull it off they think they can do better and they can make they can make some real change and they can maybe help the community of the of the united states as a community like as a group of humans that want the world to be a better place for each other and then there's crazy people and then there's people that are like completely bought and sold by the political system and the special interest groups and the lobbyists and they're they're deeply entwined and they have no no no ambitions whatsoever to try to step outside of that they live in that world they hop nob they all know the same people they go to the same parties they think the same thoughts they're just hollywood with ugly people or just or just right imagine being born with like you know you know they just did north korea they banned laughter for 11 days imagine even imagine imagine bringing that idea up in a room full of of powerful people and no one being like i don't think that's that's why you can't have anybody in control you can't have a person in control you can't have like george bush or joe biden or any of these people that are in control that where the whole world was freaked out that this is the guy that's done whether it's donald trump or some people who's even obama just having a person who is the [ __ ] leader of the free world is crazy we all know it's crazy and having all these people that put that person into place and then seeing what the way they operate and what they do when you see that nancy pelosi makes 200 000 a year and she's worth a hundred and something million dollars you're like
what what did you where'd you get that money like nothing to see here and then you fee you hear that they can actually they can participate in the stock market so they actually they buy and trade stocks and they sometimes know about things like laws are going to be passed they're going to benefit stocks i think you have to give up you should have to give up all your assets somebody just proposed some senator just proposed that congress people should not be able to uh trade in stocks while they're in office maybe even when you're out yeah ever it's it's a tr it's a tricky thing it's because it's like when you're out you're out you should be able to do whatever you want right but did you make deals while you're in course that when you were out they would give you information like here's a deal that's legal that's kind of sneaky the private speaking deal oh yeah like there's a weird deal like if you were president right and then you get out of office like brian did a great job for us and hey we would love to you to come talk at our [ __ ] blah blah blah meeting and they'll give you a half a million give you a half a million to go up and talk which is insane i would never you know you know you hear those people they're like if you could have dinner with one person who and people pick politicians like why would you do that i would like to look in their eyes and smell their breath i'd like to be around i would interview like maybe somebody in their family like their wife their spouses like i would talk to michelle obama before i talk to barack obama because that because they spend their whole life just so so you know everything's so sanitized and pre-thought out and you got to talk to one that's dying oh yeah that's a good idea yeah you want to talk to one and and gain their trust get that [ __ ] on his last day yeah up in oregon with the juice in his cup maybe not even the last day like
like if you could talk to any president if you have a conversation which one would it be and they have to be 100 truthful with me well they don't have to they're just going to talk to you you're just just a person no magic powers which person would you want to talk to which former president [ __ ] that's that's tough any any former president anyone that's alive not like oh that's oh that's alive oh yeah i would go to i'll be obama then yeah yeah how much time do you think you would need to figure out if he's full of [ __ ] you need a few hours yeah i say a few hours of talking to him a few hours to see that spark what is that yeah i would because that's enough time to get him to repeat things and right just to be talking about stuff i wonder if he drinks if you just get a couple of drinks he does drink maybe he had a beer with the remember the um the racism incident where the the the black professor he got arrested that's right by the white cop yeah and then they came to the white house and had a beer with obama who does that that's one of the best things about him being president yeah he he thought outside the box yeah and he could pull something like that off like i don't know you know there's a lot of people that don't like his policy choices and what he did with drones what he did with freedom of the press there's a lot of issues with obama but i think there's issues with anybody that's the president and i have a feeling that once you get into office it is a wild menagerie of interests and people and [ __ ] you have to concentrate on this part of the world because there's conflict with this guy and this guy trying to steal the resources and the stock market's [ __ ] and this and that and it's celebrity with consequences not only that it's like you got to be the best in the world at it and you just started last week yeah you've never been the president before like if you become the president and then all of a sudden you're inside you you literally have the toughest job
in the world and a new person tries it out every four years it's the job like you probably should get real good at it right you should probably do it for decades and decades but we don't trust you it's built into the thing we don't trust you like any other job imagine if you were a ceo of apple but you could only be the ceo of apple for four years and then you have to run for it again who the [ __ ] no no it would that would be a disaster i bet you there's definitely [ __ ] that they don't tell you until you swear in oh yeah and then they pull you in the room and go okay so this is where the aliens are this this is who killed john f kennedy uh we've also implanted a uranium bomb in the base of your spine so if you get out of line when we're gonna blow your head off yeah that kind of [ __ ] yes remember that bill hicks joke he said i think they take you into a room full of smoky industrialists a smoky room and he said and then they play you a video of the kennedy assassination from a from an angle you've never seen before that's brilliant that's brilliant and he goes and they say any questions and he goes just what is my agenda you know i think you don't get to be the president unless they pick you until trump came along and i think trump was a odd combination of yeah there were definitely people that stand to make a lot of money with him in office whether whatever the regulations he was passing that he's friendly to business and they thought it was going to be good for business and so they had an interest in getting him in there but he wasn't a regular politician guy he was some crazy billionaire famous guy who's like famous for being outrageous you're fired and then all sudden he's running the country like what i think what really [ __ ] people up is that he didn't follow any of the rules because there's rules of like you can't do this you can't say that right you can't do this you have to abide by and he's like [ __ ] all that and that that [ __ ] up because that that means you can't control a person right he was gonna be his own guy and he had
the support of all the people that love him above and beyond any president ever have you think he's gonna run again a hundred percent you don't think he is man i just i just don't because it's it because when he ran the first time it was it was very divisive but now there's like there's these you know with the covet division and the vaccine division it would it that would be like it would be it would be like what what happened before well i hate to say on steroids but that's that's a phrase yeah but it's like i it would just be the it would be because you now you have four or five reasons to [ __ ] hate your family stop i don't know people that stop talking to their friends yeah i don't i don't lose friends like that what if maybe biden [ __ ] it up so bad four years from now that trump looks like a viable option i think that's possible too we're looking at a situation right now where we're a year in right january is a year into his presidency and the you can't hate a person for getting old it's just a part of being a human being but when you watch him ramble on tv nobody has confidence that this is the most clear-headed most logical most well-read and wise of all the leaders in the world that's a that's a crazy thing to say right whether you think he's okay whether you think he's fine that's that's not the my point is is that the best representative of the united states of america and i think most people being honest would say no no most people did most people most of the people that voted for biden were voting against trump exactly and but bad baden and harris were acting like we we looked at them as like saviors some people did i mean a lot of people the hardcore people in the democratic party so that's the thing man those are the people that they communicate with the most other than the press and the press is a lot of it is the hardcore members of the democrat party is a lot of the press well they don't the thing is they don't want
because the because the pandemic was going on the same time yeah they didn't realize that like they represented the status quo at the same time that everyone was slowly realizing that going back to the way things were wasn't what we wanted right yeah so the that force break where everybody got at least six months to a year off and you were getting money from the government so you didn't have to do more [ __ ] and you just had time to focus on what you wanted and what you liked and then and now people are coming back they don't want to take the same jobs for [ __ ] pay and no benefits and joe biden just rep like the status quo was safer to some people than trump but most people don't want that we don't people don't want you to go back to 2019 the way things were yeah i think what people would want is more opportunity to pursue what they really want to do versus what they were just doing for money i think when you take everything away a lot of people at least some people were just itching to go back to the way things were before just give me my job back i miss not having to think about money i miss knowing i got a steady check yeah but some people are like you know what i'm happier just making [ __ ] ashtrays or whatever you know i'm happier i'm happier starting a business on etsy i'm happier i'm happier doing this or doing that like people just started doing different stuff and they started thinking when something got taken away from them that they never realized that someone could just take something away from you like that like someone could like comics you can't do shows that was los angeles this is how dumb the government in los angeles is they were like you can't do outside shows and they're like outside what if we do outside the comedy store said what if we do outside and we put up a barrier a blastic clear see-through barrier between the comic and the audience no what yeah no i said you can't then we did them in the window bro it didn't make any sense the the logic behind it was so stupid and they didn't care about the businesses because they don't have to because their money is not based on how
much the businesses earn if politicians money was all based on a percentage of the gross profits of the neighborhood they control they'd have a completely different way of dealing with people and they would have let those they would let those shows keep rolling because if they knew that if all the bars were closed and all the comedy clubs were closed the amount of revenue that's missing from their pockets would be substantial if you tank an economy you lose your money like let's say you're you're a mayor and what does a mayor get paid like i don't even know let's just say it's three hundred thousand dollars a year what if it's three what if you have a base salary over a hundred but a potential for seven to eight so potential for five thousand or five hundred thousand more rather than you would have gotten on a straight up contract you just have to show that you're friendly to business and that you're helping the businesses stay open in the air so the more profit gross profit gets gets counted for in your area the more potential you have up into a cap so you would want to make that cap for what will stop you from from selling out just your mom and pops for like a big [ __ ] a super target or some [ __ ] that's a good question that's a good question you'd have to have like very staunch regulations to stop that kind of stuff from happening you gave me an idea earlier what if the day what if after graduating from high school we just sort of do for those kids what we did during the pandemic like when you graduate high school the government just for a year gives you enough money to live on and you can just because i feel like you would come out of that like you're not even allowed to start college right you just have to live for a year try a little different interest and then by the time you go to because the hardest thing about me starting college was like they were like okay so decide today what you want to focus your whole rest of your life on yes yeah yeah that's and it leaves people in a state of desperation
you know i remember i made a lot of lies to myself or pretended there was jobs that i could have done you know i was like yeah i could do that for a living like my brain was like what are you talking about but my desperation and my worry about not having a future was having me convinced that i could do construction or that i could uh you know be an architect or i was trying to come up with jobs like a regular job to do but the idea of being locked into some sort of a job like all day for eight hours a day from my personality was like being strangled yeah i was like i can't do this i can't do it and i felt like such a loser man that's the ironic part the thing that led me to success was the thing that make made me feel like such a [ __ ] loser when i was young because i couldn't keep jobs i wouldn't do it i'd be like i gotta get out of here i can't do this or or just me for me i couldn't i couldn't take things that didn't make sense right whereas like you're doing something you have a boss that's like secretive or whatever the [ __ ] you're doing or you're doing something that is pointless yes i just yeah it ate away at me man and i've had good jobs you know like it wasn't the pay yeah it wasn't where i was living it wasn't even the actual work itself it was just the idea that what i was doing didn't mean anything sometimes you meet people along the way in your life that you meet just so that you kind of get there like a little lesson for you like you could lose it all and you can go down this road where you just make a bad decision and now you're doing something meaningless forever like there was this one guy that i used to drive limos with and he was an older guy and he had a cadillac and he was overweight this poor bastard and he knew all the places that had the biggest meals like you tell them like where's vegas no this is boston i was driving limos and they were they had a pep talk for us one day and they said i forget the guy's name but they were they're saying you know he he works you know x amount of hours per week he's like 60 hours a week he's like the guy's making more than 60 grand a year he doesn't have to bust his ass
he's just sitting in his beautiful car driving around he makes a great [ __ ] living and i remember thinking while these guys are saying like oh my god what a trap like they're leading you to the dumbest trap ever they're saying like you're going to give up all day every day you if you're going to work 60 hours a week that's an extra 20 on top of 40. right so [ __ ] nine to five you're working a lot of extra hours another 20 a week yeah yo you want 12 12 hour shifts oh that's four extra [ __ ] hours every day four extra hours monday through friday 20 extra [ __ ] hours is nuts but that is a lot of guys a lot of guys just take that job they'll do 12 every day and that guy was doing 12 every day and he was a beat man he was probably like 10 years younger than me right now and he looked like a dead man and they were talking about you know he's got a great living doesn't bust his ass and i'm like this guy doesn't want to take people to the airport this is just like it's this is this guy got stuck in this thing and that's that's those people they they come into your life to show you like okay like you can't you can't just do something meaningless all day every day forever you gotta have something some reason why you like do it it's not that you can't drive limos i drove the most it's that driving them 12 hours a day every day is not good it's not good unless you love it did you love it i mean maybe you enjoy talking to people or you have a great client or something like that but for most people it's something you do to try to accumulate some money and try to get out like i knew this guy who is a um he was a limo driver he wanted to be a record executive he was like really into music he was talking about music he was trying to figure out how to bankroll like this is like in the 90s just trying to figure out how to bankroll like a cd and put together uh like songs and bands and [ __ ] he just was stuck in a job you know he's just doing a job as a uh i don't think he did i think maybe he tried once i lost touch with him it's um it's very tricky that world man you have to drive people around and you're in your car all day and you're
probably sucking in the worst air that you could get the air on the freeway how bad's that air that can't be good for you has anybody ever done an analysis on how bad highway driving is for your health like people who drive limos or people who have long commutes every day one of my drivers recently reported me and i think that's why because he was losing his mind no cuz i because i rolled the window down on the highway the car smelled so bad and right when i got to the point where i couldn't take it no more we were getting on the highway did he say hey roll the window up and you're like gay [ __ ] you no but he rolled no he rolled it up oh he rode up that the guy pulled down my window no i wrote it down and he rolled it back up and then i rolled it back down oh my god you guys didn't talk no oh jeez no we didn't the and then this morning i got an email from lyft that was like drivers have reported a couple of your recent keep in mind i got a 5.0 on lift i've been with them from the beginning i got a five-star rating and now recently a driver has reported my right just one only that it says drivers but it always says drivers whether it's one or not because they don't want you to be able to narrow it down write that down dude there's something about getting in a lift with a stinky dude and you roll the window down and he rolls it up and you roll it down again cause like i said if i don't if i don't care about you how can i tell you that the problem is the older i know but the problem is you guys aren't talking what's funny is you're not even having a conversation he's just rolling the windows down because you know what it is is he the passive aggressive i'ma roll the window up without saying anything he's already at the point where he feels disrespected so it's i think to him it's like this is beyond talking well he shouldn't have a [ __ ] car that doesn't have a child lock for the windows yeah or maybe maybe oh maybe he did he didn't put it
he didn't turn it on oh he likes the game yeah and there's also it's also me being it's also me kind of being cowardly but it's like at the same time i'm not trying to upset the [ __ ] that's dr that's driving my car that's not cowardly that's not cowardly this is being nice like you're not gonna change his smell over the next 40 minutes that you're in a car with him yeah you're not changing his smell because you know what it smells like it smells like he just ate some like exotic food or something maybe he did and like but didn't he he didn't hear it out some people get real sensitive that if you're eating like a lot of garlic or weird foods yeah some people are real sensitive to that yeah i mean if you just put on what you're doing like you know if it's fish or something it's like you gotta eat that [ __ ] at home you can't like bring like a baked piece of fish in a car i've seen so many fights on on the subway on the train from people trying to eat on the train and they you know they open it up and there's something punchy and somebody's like hey man what the [ __ ] you doing you know when it turns into something that's funny because you really are that's the decision you made like you know what you're doing if you open some food on the train you you say you're basically rolling the dice that nobody on this train has the balls to confront me about this have you ever eaten durian what is that durian is a fruit that in many hotels it's illegal it's it's illegal to eat on a lot of planes wow it has a rotten disgusting smell to it it's the weirdest smell for a fruit it's not bad tasting but you have to get past this it's one of those weird things where the smell is worse than the taste so how do people why do people eat it they like it some people like it it's a popular fruit again i ate that in time that was in thailand as well i was like this is weird this durian stuff is so weird it's um there's rules and regulations on a lot of airlines a lot of hotels
it's that weird i remember i wish we had some in here i'll bring you some show them a picture what it looks like that's what it looks like oh why people love durian the banned fruit that stinks like garbage the aroma of do look at this uh one of the most polarizing foods in the world is hard to pin down but there are some attempts to have uh people have made limb burger cheese gym socks in turpentine new york city's hot summer garbage and pig droppings so that's what it looks like that's all you got to do to make me not eat some sugar it tastes it smells like new york city but look how beautiful it is it's a beautiful piece of fruit like the all the little prickly things on the outside of it and if you cut it open and eat it inside it's just this rancid weird sweet stinky thing where's the is the shitty smell coming from the white or the yellow the yellow stuff that you eat it stinks i mean maybe the white stuff stinks too but the yellow it's a weird thing because you would imagine that that's not good for you because if you look at all the thorns and everything on the outside that means nature doesn't necess i mean i'm just guessing but the nature doesn't really want you to eat it it's like hiding it from you it's hiding it inside this literally like prickly armor right well this pro this plant has like evolved this as a defense but the plant's probably like come on i got spikes i stink but look at how look at the nutrition profile compared to a banana a banana has 358 milligrams of potassium but durian has 436 2.6 grams of fiber for a banana 3.8 for durian uh folate total um 20 for the banana i don't know what a pg is um and then 36 for durian and then vitamin c 8.7 milligrams that's not convincing versus 19.7 yeah it's super healthy for you yeah but that's the trade-off i would just trade off i'd rather have be low on all that yeah eat a plant that smells like new york city garbage it doesn't smell quite that bad but it doesn't smell good but it's to me it's like if i want fruit i want like
something that tastes good and smells good i want like watermelon i want i want that peach i want a juicy ripe peach you know that's something that i got because if you open up one of those it's gonna become a it's gonna become a discussion i don't want i don't wanna be conflicted about what i'm eating i want to like bite into a delicious orange and just like ah you know you get the perfect orange yeah you know an orange just like it's a dark orange and it's got a lot of life tangerine man i love tangerines yeah but you but you but see this it's it's [ __ ] [ __ ] out there that'll like bring a fruit salad to the to the function and it's it has that [ __ ] in it oh my god who does that it's [ __ ] out there that'll do it yeah just to [ __ ] with you and say this is my culture when you bring [ __ ] to a potluck or something you gotta bring [ __ ] you know everyone's eating pineapple's tough to [ __ ] with if it's hot outside you've got some cold pineapple that's tough to beat it's because it's got a bite to it's like chewy yeah oh my god the sweetness of the pineapple you ever had a fresh one oh yeah yeah there's it's nothing quite like it i mean oh man any good ass any fresh fruit is just great even coconut milk like right out of the thing when they hack the top of it with a machete and stick a straw in there like god damn that's good it's real good god damn that's good because you know there's things that taste good because you're supposed to eat them right like fruits like they they're they want you to eat them like they're going come on look at me i'm so pretty come eat me and it's cliche too but but it's also like the environment you're eating them in like if you so if you could if you get some fresh pineapple in the morning like when the sun coming up and you at the beach yeah you smell something like that that's the ultimate [ __ ] yeah yeah you just you just had a blunt fresh pineapple cracked open right there sunrise but fresh anything right if you caught a fish right there at the beach and you fried it like on a fire that you made like right there you had a little grill set up right there on the beach
and you just salt that [ __ ] up put a little olive oil on it lay it on that little webber grill flip it over oh my god yeah you can do all the fancy [ __ ] you want to know but the fresh [ __ ] with just a little bit of salt yes and cooked over wood like i've been doing a lot lately i've been doing a lot of that lately there's something about just cooking over firewood it's like whatever caveman [ __ ] that makes men enjoy grilling there's clearly a thing like it's not just me it's not like it's clear it's been a [ __ ] dad meme forever right a theme that guys the dad will be out there flipping the burgers and making the steaks it's always been the case men like to cook over fire women like to cook and they like to cook over fire but men really [ __ ] like to cook there's a power to it well there's something that connects us to some raw primitive like uh it's like it excites parts of your brain where you're cooking meat over fire you know what i'd love to see you try and i would like to try it if you haven't tried it before but so i don't know if you ever this is and this blew my mind because i just learned this like a few months ago there's a there's a brazilian cow oh yeah i know i know about that and there's it has a hump mm-hmm yeah and that hump is a specific cut of meat you can only get from brazilian cows i forget what it's called though it's i forget what it's called too yeah but but brazilians know what the [ __ ] they're doing nobody nobody does it better koreas traditional meat cut from brazil a beef hump of a brazilian z it's a zebu cattle interesting it's a tender rich and marbled cut of meat whoa bro they figured it out those two haas careers this is the greatest [ __ ] invention in all of culinary what is it you've never been no oh my god not just a brazilian steakhouse have you ever been to fogo to chow or any of those places like oh my god brian what the [ __ ] you saying you have to go i wish we could go right now maybe we should go maybe we should go before the show it's quarter to five quarter okay um what it is is they have fire and then skewers of meat they're set up around
the fire and you have a card and on one side of the card is green and one side of the card is red so when you have it green you leave it up and they just come over with all kinds of foods they have like chicken wrapped in bacon and and garlic beef and pecan all of it is cooked over and they never stop they never stop coming to you and they give you tongs and they slice it off of the skewer right there by your table and you put that [ __ ] in your plate and it and within 10 minutes you're like i can't eat it anymore and they keep coming they keep coming they're bringing over pork ribs and oh my god it's phenomenal it's one of my favorite places to eat and what did you call it it's called a chuhachs garria chujas korea it's a brazilian term i ate at one in sao paulo i've eaten at them in uh in rio in brazil it's pretty [ __ ] dope it's a style of cooking that they invented in uh in brazil isn't it oh is it just like the um like in the in the oven but it's the style of restaurant it's not an oven they just have wood that's burning in a pit and then they have these steaks they're around it and they they generally like see if we can show how they cook it you can see it um oh so it's a portuguese word for barbecue that's what it is so um you can see the way they cook it there's videos of it where they uh they have like the fire in the center but everything's moving around flame cooking yeah most of it or this one's not this one's doing it a different way but uh it depends on the place like some places they actually do it over live fire and some places they do it over these kind of ovens but the key is that everything's rotating and so they cook it on the outside and then they bring it to you and slice the outside of it off onto your plate and then they put the rest of it back on over the fire so it keeps slowly cooking and slowly browning the outside it's like you bite into that [ __ ] you're like oh so good it's so good dude i love that kind of i love an expert i told you we talked about this before like there was a there was a there was a a a peruvian chicken spot at the bottom of my high rise when i lived in virginia
and everybody i brought there was like oh really like a chicken spot at the bottom of an apartment building and everybody brought there was like holy sh all they made was chicken all they made was these these little rotisserie chickens would just spin all day long and drip juices on each other it was like a giant wheel that would do that we had a place like that in calabasas that went under because the dude didn't want to switch to credit cards oh yeah you said you would but you would buy it oh my god it was it was amazing they went under because the guy he would only take cash he never want to switch over to credit people like i don't have a [ __ ] cash come on take your credit cards you might carry around 300 they had a a big copper colored oven in the middle of their store which was like they built it so they had it's a starbucks now but back when i was first living there in the 90s it was this big ass wood-fired oven and they'd be constantly throwing wood into this pit they had stacks of firewood this is like in calabasas and they have this giant rotisserie that's spinning around with all these chickens on it and it was the best chicken you've ever had in your life they had it down to a science because that's all they cooked was chicken and they had a few other things like they made like like uh pastrami rubens and a couple but if you were there you were there for the [ __ ] chicken the chicken was out of control it was out of control it was so the spice they just had it down the right amount of butter the right amount of spices oh yeah but it went under is that chicks yeah there it is how can your [ __ ] be that good when you go out bro that's what it looked like that's what it looked like so they had all these chickens spinning around he went out of business because he didn't want to [ __ ] take credit cards they had been around for like 25 years the only mexican jewish restaurant in town it was mexican and jewish there was a [ __ ] damn it's uh it says woodland hills i guess it was william hill i wanted you to find that guy and get the recipe
well you would need the con that kind of a grill too there's a thing about those oven grills that's why people love kamados you know what a kamado is kamado is like a big green egg that's a famous kamado or kamado joe it's a special kind of grill that's lined mostly with ceramic and it creates like this there's a there's a heat and a there's a way it retains moisture in these like ceramic grills that has a certain special flavor that imparts in food people really love it it's like a very um very popular way to slow cook things a lot of people really enjoy slow cooking things in a kamado you never seen one of them before no pull up uh komodo kamado is like the most impressive company i had one of those when i lived in california but i left it at the house i sold because it was too heavy to move but uh komodo kamado is a uh like built in well this no no they wheel them in but this was a really pretty one and the thing about it was it's like these kamados like you can get one from weber like the same company that makes some kettle grills they make a kamado a real nice one they make like if i was gonna buy one i probably buy that one because it's steel it's so it's it retains heat it does all the things that the other one does it's like really well insulated like by design but also it's light it's it's not like impossible to carry like these [ __ ] i had one of those oh yeah yeah i've heard them call something else it's a kamado grill i had uh see that one in the center i had one like that like the big blue one that's in the middle i had one like it's that heavy oh my god it was so heavy it was covered in tile that's a that's a kamado joe but the one i had was um this kamado komodo kamado that one the lower right right to the side to the right cursor of where you are yeah that thing that's a that's one by by the same company that's the biggest one they make i had the circular one that's how big they are yeah that's how they go okay i was i was
the scale was off in my head no they're huge that's insane that one's way bigger than the one i had i had that one the one in the middle jamie the one in the middle right right there that's what i had so that was like the medium size that's that one says 23 inches that was about the big as big as mine what was you cooking on that that's the thing mostly i just cooked steak mostly i'm grilling meat i've tried to do a bunch of other stuff but what i like to i eat meat that's what i do i eat mostly meat like when i feel at my best when i'm eating a lot of meat and i don't like to when i [ __ ] around with bread i do it just for the taste when i when i eat pasta i know i'm paying a price it's like the way i feel if i do shots at tequila like okay right i know what we're doing we're just gonna enjoy this for a little bit but we're gonna have to do some recovery work yeah you're like i'm gonna put this in the bank yeah but those things are um you know people like that kind of cooking and oh yeah and if you cook on those things man there's something about that and you're putting wood in that basket well you can you could put wood in there some people do but most of the time you use lump charcoal but i i've been cooking on one of these argentina style grills when you crank the thing click click click click click it goes up or down and i've been cooking on straight firewood like logs of oak logs man there's something exciting about that really yeah something exciting about it the wood makes a difference it makes a difference yeah for sure the smoke makes a difference oh smell it and you smell it in the meat but there's all there's something about cooking outside over fire and you're looking at the fire and hearing the meat crackling and taking in the smells it's part of the experience it's like almost like foreplay to your dinner well you obviously eaten [ __ ] that you've killed see i've never done that yeah but even if i eat like a domestic steak even if i have like a nice grass-cut ribeye a grass-fed ribeye rather grass-fed ribeye
with um you know i'll put a little bit of garlic in the pan and i'll put some some butter and uh some rosemary some time get it get get some [ __ ] herbal scents on that meat and baste it on top of it too it's there's something exciting about cooking over fire man like i i i'll still do that i'll still cook in a pellet grill and i'll see her on a cast iron frying pan i love i love cooking but there's something about fire it brings out a thing in people where that genetic memory that we were talking about yeah it reminds us of how thrilling it was to be cooking a piece of meat that you killed over a fire because that meant your family was going to live that means you're going to survive another day you weren't going to be hungry in the morning and that means you you might be able your children might be able to carry on and live because most people died i mean imagine what it was like living half a million years ago million years ago most people didn't survive childhood yeah most people and if you did you probably got to eat and buy a jaguar you know that's why everybody's scared of monsters why are little kids scared of monsters they're not scared of bank robbers and [ __ ] car accidents they're scared of monsters because of some weird [ __ ] memory of cats eating us really yeah rupert sheldrick talked about that he was talking about this idea of memory that's attached to like innately attached to people that that's probably the origin of that one that the the idea of being scared of something with big teeth that hides in the dark like what is that it's a cat it's a big cat if you think about where we evolved we evolved in a place that's filled with big cats and there's so much evidence that that ancient humans and ancient hominins were eaten by cats there's so much evidence there's especially something that's quicker than you oh my god not just quick why wouldn't it eat you we're the easiest things to eat we can't even fight back what are we gonna do if we don't have a
weapon we're [ __ ] yeah we can make build traps yeah it's um there was a horrible [ __ ] picture of a little baby monkey clinging to its mother while its mother was in a leopard's mouth so its mother the leopard has its mother's head like completely crushed in its mouth and its walking with this dead monkey and the little monkey's like clinging to the body of its mother as it's being carried away look at that right there bro oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] indeed man you gotta drop off son i mean what do you do it doesn't matter if you drop off you can't go anywhere that's why you're clinging to your mother for the first in the first place that's not the same one is it happens it happens apparently i'm sure it happens the mothers are more vulnerable when they're carrying the baby that's a lot of extra weight damn this is sad as [ __ ] man look at that picture what it says look at that cat looking at that monkey cunning leopard uses baby monkey as bait to lure adults towards it oh my god bro that is okay oh oh my god that's so demonic but then again so is chick-fil-a true chick-fil-a's demonic too somewhere there's a like a gigantic warehouse filled with chickens stuffed in the cage is waiting to be turned into sandwiches just for claire this one says that it adopted the baby baboon after it killed its mom so oh my god oh he's like oh yeah we can use you as bait from now on son adopted the baby baboon that's just some animal rights [ __ ] bullshitting he probably ate it eventually all those pictures from the same day probably wasn't hungry yeah he wasn't hungry yet he met he ate its mom make it a bigger meal he's waiting yeah why don't you get bigger i'll just hold you you're not going anywhere i'll keep you right here because we got hungry i need a midnight snack he's like that's the first cheater to discover farming yeah find out how long that [ __ ] baby monkey stayed alive look at it it's licking it oh god i might not even be relaxing photoshop a
little look at that leopard takes care of baby monkey after hunting his mother jesus christ yeah that does look kind of photoshopped the one you're on right now on the business on facebook too that's why i'm not giving it credit uh i don't know it looks real to me well it's bad i want to believe like this one's not what's going on down there bro this is real that's all that's real that's a real face it's definitely not photoshopped oh this one gets the scene from the light oh my god oh my god that's probably real dude no bro that's probably real look it's a series of images that's real too what is that an american eagle that one's fake that was not even in that tree yeah yeah that's totally fine that's that's like a glitch in the matrix yeah [ __ ] living in that world but that that's probably why people are afraid of monsters you know because they know that and they know that's possible yeah especially like on the unknown [ __ ] yeah you know cause there's a i forget you know you know the vsauce guy you ever had him yeah i had vsauce on way back in the day yeah he but i remember him talking about the difference between terror and horror hmm he has this whole thing with the uncanny valley and all of that but it's like he was talking about how like the unknown is horror it's the it's the it's the sound you heard like you know someone's in the house but you don't know what it is you know the the terror is like there's a lion right there but the the horror is what the [ __ ] was that right that makes sense something ran bad what the [ __ ] was it that's why like all those classic hp lovecraft [ __ ] that's like you don't see the monster right until the end or you know you don't they don't they describe them in this very like general sense so you can make it up in your head well my favorite monster movie of all time was american werewolf in london that and alien the original alien in both of those movies you don't really get to see the animal or the cr the the the alien until the
end like you see like flash images of it until late into the movie right you know like the american werewolf in london you see a quick glimpse like one of the best scenes in the movie was a businessman in the tunnel he's in the subway and this guy's just hanging out looking at his watch waiting for the train and then he hear he's like what the [ __ ] is that and you see him looking he starts talking like hey who's there who's there and then you see him see the werewolf and you just see him and he's see if you can find that scene businessman in the subway what do they call the tube in london um and at the end of the scene the werewolf is at the bottom of the escalator the guy's running up the escalator drops his briefcase papers flying everywhere and at the end of the scene the werewolf just moves into faith give me some volume on this that christian bale no no no some regular dude this is 1981. so here's that and this well this movie's so good john landis was an absolute animal imagination that this is not the least bit of music okay this is what you need to get the [ __ ] up out of that man i shall report this it's so british and then somewhere along the line he realizes things behind him watch he's going up the escalator and then he sees it and you see he doesn't believe it and then the motherfucker's in a full-on panic he's like what the [ __ ] did i just see and then he goes up the second flight of stairs and here airs behind him and then he sees it so you see it from the wolf's eyes as it runs towards him this poor [ __ ] guy meanwhile he's still got his briefcase yeah [ __ ] that briefcase and that umbrella [Music] no cardios dude that's zero cardio i'm not supposed to suppose i had that tie off by now you should call i would hold on to the
under a normal circumstance i would hold on to that [ __ ] he you better not pick that oh my god he's picked up the briefcase like he's falling apart he's falling apart no cardio he decided to die this is my favorite scene in the whole movie the guys nothing climbing up look at this look at that thing come into play imagine seeing that see they didn't show you much they showed you enough come on son that was the tension was crazy it's an amazing scene god what up but that's that's an amazing scene in a horror movie where they didn't have to show you much rick baker made the where we and our old studio in la you never went to the old one did you no the old one in la had uh an american werewolf in london that greeted people at the front door that's the why'd you leave it uh i'm gonna bring it back but i actually ordered a new one and the new one the guy who uh makes it pat mcgee made me uh he made an even better one that guy you could tell too that that guy wasn't even gonna fight no he gave up i'm going to send you a meme jamie i'm i don't know what it is man but people that have no fight in them i just yeah you're supposed to feel like that because if you were in a a situation with them if they're a part of your village and [ __ ] went down and that guy falls apart like that you're like you [ __ ] he's like jesus christ like even the odds are insurmountable even if it's like jason voorhees standing in front of you you're not even gonna throw a punch dude i'd way rather have jason in front of me than that [ __ ] thing no no yeah a creature jason like still has limbs like he like keeps the mask on he's ain't biting you what's he gonna do his mom still makes him cry i feel like if you had like a good solid shotgun multiple shells i think you got jason you just blow his knees apart but even that creature that thing's lunging at you you know you got no chance but you at least gonna kick or spit at something this is a meme that's uh
my dog and uh the american world from london they use this this uh picture for so many memes yeah meme template yeah it's like one of those see omicron of reality is my dog marshall and omicron the media is american wealth in london that was the werewolf yeah that's what it looks like at my studio and uh that's marshall what's crazy to think that that dog on the left his lineage is a wolf somewhere in his history there was a wolf like that's that's what made a a dog just like we came from ancient hominins they came from wolves but they didn't even come from wolves that long ago that's what's crazy yeah like we came from ancient hominids hundreds of thousands of years ago but dogs when did they when did they come out of wolves i think i watched some [ __ ] recently on i think it was on netflix but it was like they were talking about coy wolves yes yeah they're a mixed breed between coyotes and wolves yeah well most coyotes are they're descendants of wolves they're like the most clever of wolves and they are they can breed with red wolves and they're genetically dissimilar to gray wolves so gray wolves the thing about like what happened in america was ranchers and farmers poisoned off the wolves and until they reintroduced them to yellowstone in the 1990s it was there was very few wolves on the west coast in the west the great you know the western wilderness because they killed them all uh they but they never could kill the coyotes because every time they tried to kill the coyotes the coyotes would just expand so they expand their territory over the entire country there's coyotes in every single city in this country everywhere everywhere and the ones you don't see like every time you see one there's like 25. but they got that way out of a need to survive against the wolves originally because when the gray wolves were coming in from canada and wherever they would meet coyotes they would kill them so the coyotes had to figure out a way
to survive and one of the ways they figured out a survivor is to constantly evolve their territory constantly expand their territory and then also when one coyote dies when they do that roll call with with one missing it causes the females to make more babies oh the females have more pups there's a great book called coyote america by this guy dan flores who was a professor he taught my friend steve ranella and then steve uh invite uh introduced me to him and i had a guest on the podcast but he's uh an expert in wildlife in the history of wildlife in north america and that's one of the things that he's like fascinated with is a coyote did what makes coils so dangerous well they're not more dangerous because a a wolf a coyote rather is a wolf a koi wolf is just a larger version of it and it's just a hybrid they're just they're bigger than coyotes they're smaller than wolves yeah that's like a small wolf well a coyote is a small wolf right but a big coyote is like 50 pounds like that's big that's a big [ __ ] coyote you see a 50-pound cut like what is it how big coyotes get i'm guessing that 50 pounds is like the range i had that oh sorry i was comparing the weight as it's like half the size of a wolf hybrids but not separate species so this gray wolf eastern wolf red wolf 20 to 50 pounds yeah so a 50 pound coyote is a big ass coyote 80 to 120 pound wolf yeah they get a little bigger like you might see a 150 pound wolf maybe even a little bigger than that but that's like in canada it's a little there's a thing um also that um mammals in cold climates tend to be larger than mammals and hot climates that's why the mexican wolf is a smaller wolf like mexican or california deer it's a good example texas deer too small but saskatchewan deer huge huge more than twice the size a big-ass saskatchewan buck might be 300 pounds but a texas buck it's like if it's 150 that's unusual that's a big ass deer really yeah they're not that big they're little out here a little baby you know anybody that has an actual wolf as a pet it's illegal in a lot of places i knew a
guy who had one that was part wolf he had three of them that were part wolf and they were so dangerous they would get out and they would wipe out like a nearby ranch or sheep they would get out just kill eight or nine sheep for a goof yeah they get together with around other animals like that's what they love to do kill them so they find like a bunch of sheep that are stuck in a pen they're like oh [ __ ] and they just hop the pen fence and just tore them apart they killed like i think they caught killed eight or nine of this guy's sheep and they don't listen that's what started them family feuds they're not listening either in the world you can't sit [ __ ] you like [ __ ] you they like cats like somebody told me recently like we haven't actually domesticated cats yet not really i mean a little bit but a wolf is a different animal man they're not listening they're not listening to you right no you're their friend you're not their dad you're not the boss it might have been the first guy that got one of them things to [ __ ] listen and they're like oh we got to breed them we got to get they definitely listen a little i mean they listen better than wild wolves wild wolves just [ __ ] you up and if you raise a wolf it kind of has a relationship with you but you're not it's never going to be like a german shepherd it just listens right where it's it's because it's not even about the because they hear you but they just don't care about pleasing you yeah the way like a a domesticated dog does you just nailed it that's exactly what it is a regular dog is obsessed with pleasing you yeah and those dogs or my cat they don't give a [ __ ] if you're happy about anything yeah i think what they they literally raised dogs out of wolves where the dog the ones that became dogs were the ones who were compliant like they did this thing with um i think it was foxes yes it was a there was a podcast about it on radio lab and they were talking about how quickly within a few generations of every time they had a fox they would they would have these foxes they were they were caged foxes and every time they had a fox where they would reach
into the cage and the fox would growl at them or snap at them they'd kill it and so all the ones that lived were the ones who weren't interested in being aggressive and so after a while their ears started drooping and it's only like a couple years worth of breeding like this their ears started drooping their snouts shrunk their teeth got smaller their jaw bones got weaker everything changed they literally changed within a couple generations that's how that's how strong like the influence of the environment are foxes are they related to wolves i mean it's kind of like a canine right some kind of a canine i don't think they're directly related nobody has pet foxes really no i don't think they do but if they do foxes are probably great pets because they like to like they'll play with people in the wild like you that grizzly man movie ever see that movie no grizzly man is a movie about a dude who basically committed suicide by bear it's a werner herzog film yeah i've heard about it for sure it's a you need to see it i can't believe you haven't seen it it's the craziest movie probably i've ever seen in my life this guy was out of his [ __ ] mind this guy was hanging out with bill these these bears like i'm protecting these bears no one's protecting these bears this [ __ ] park service they're not helping these bears the guy was crazy and meanwhile the bears had no idea he was alive they're just walking around him he's like i'm here for you i'm here for you honey like the bear would take a [ __ ] he would pick it up this is this was just in her body this is her poop she's holding her [ __ ] he was out of his [ __ ] mind and eventually the bears killed him and aided this was the new power bro you have to see it that's funny one of my favorite scenes in the movie there was an old sheriff and the old sheriff was talking about you know werner herzog who's like i guess he's german is he german from where's herzog from but he has this way of talking and he is the narrator and he's about germany and he's talking to the sheriff like this is how he's narrating and the sheriff goes i thought he was [ __ ] and when the sheriff says that he's like
no no this one and then they talked to the guy who scared the bear off of his body the guy was flying over in a plane and looked down and saw his rib cage and the bear was digging through as we saw the white of his rib cage and the bears just digging out his organs and eating through the rib cage why you say suicide by bear you being cause the guy should have [ __ ] been there like why he stayed there overnight he's camped with bears he's camped in a place called it's called grizzly maze he camped in the grizzly maze so he's hanging out with the most unthreatened predators in terms of like what what's gonna [ __ ] with the grizzly nothing not a thing in the woods other than a bigger grizzly so they're completely unchecked they do whatever the [ __ ] they want and they were he was in a place where you're not supposed to be once they hibernate because the thing is if you go to the place where the bears live and there's a bear that's still roaming around he hasn't hibernated yet it's past the time that means he's starving that means he's probably getting old and maybe his teeth don't work good anymore or maybe he can't run after the fish anymore whatever it is he hasn't got enough food so he'll eat anything so he looked at that dude he's like oh here we go and he killed him and killed his girlfriend i've always been much told this story i thought it was like bears that he lived with like a pack of bears that betrayed him well he thought he was living with them he was just living near him like they weren't his friend he like coco's my friend she's my friend like he was this crazy guy and and he seemed like i don't know if he was homosexual or heterosexual but he talked like a very effeminate gay man and then he would say crazy things like uh i don't know i have don't have a girlfriend i wish i was gay it'd be so much easier if i was gay i just find a guy but i'm not gay and you're like what who says that like what is this movie like he's talking to the bears just so you all know but he's walking around with these cameras but werner herzog left that in the film like he knew what he
was doing werner herzog's a brilliant director he knew what he was doing he was making a comedy it's like an unintentional comedy about a crazy guy who lives with bears and you think that he do you think he knew he was gonna die i think so i think he had to know that it could you can't sustain that how long are you going to keep living with grizzly bears bro eventually they're going to realize they could eat me i mean it was a bad idea from the junk dude he would find cubs that were eaten by the boars so big males would eat cubs so this is a place with you know hundreds or even thousands of bears i don't know what the population of bears was but there's a lot of bears in the [ __ ] movie a lot of bears in the movie but it's a great documentary it's a fascinating take on human nature because this guy has got it in his head that he's protecting these bears but the reality of that whole area of alaska it's like there's plenty of bears man and they actually have to keep the bear populations in check because if they don't the bears like the one that ate him run out of food and they they either attack people or they attack other bears they eat cubs like that that whole ecosystem needs to be managed yeah i went to i just i recently went to the uh aquarium and and they have they have a little shark thing but it wasn't because i i'm fascinated with like those apex predators that's like nothing's [ __ ] with me but i thought i was going that's the only part of what i was disappointed about was i thought i was going to see a [ __ ] like that like something that is you know they can't keep a great white in captivity why they die really yeah i think one aquarium in japan has recently kept a great white in captivity for an extended period of time and i think they might be the first ever will they die of i might have just made that up i don't know well they oh they just can't be contained in captivity they go
crazy they die the longest one's ever been in captivity is 198 days according to this one is that in japan [Music] do they kill themselves or like run into the cage i don't know they don't live though monterey bay oh that was up there that's where they bait so that's where they live in california well monterey bay is not southern california right isn't that northern california transported the shark from southern california where it was caught oh to monterey bay oh yeah there's a shitload of them up in northern california like uh all around san francisco great whites yeah great whites are all over the place up there they put it back they released it back to the wild oh attacked and killed two non-gray white sharks that were in captivity with it so they they had it alive interesting is the main reason why they're unable to be contained as they are nomadic and are adapted to travel incredibly long distances because of this they struggle in small tanks so what happens to them if they put them in small tanks do they just stop eating they give up it's this thing this thing doesn't say this isn't uh you know they might have some kind of some level of of some very very minuscule level of self-awareness with were they because like the smaller fish i think they don't realize that they're in a tank right but the shark knows like this is what i saw yesterday this is what i saw yesterday that's what a bad [ __ ] steven spielberg was or is is that steven one [ __ ] movie changed the way people thought about a fish yeah changed the way nobody was that scared of sharks before jaws jaws changed i saw that on betamax i thought it was it was a feeling yeah it was like i was like i was at an aunt's house or something that [ __ ] scared the [ __ ] out of me but it should and now to go back and look at the behind the scenes and look how they did
it all it's like to think about how they thought up what to because because steven spielberg's one of those dudes are like he wasn't listening to people well he's genius they're people going doesn't have to yeah you got to have that those are the people that drag everything forward what's it say here oh 2016 an aquarium in japan that's it displayed 11-foot shark that had been caught in a fisherman's net the shark lasted only three days before dying okay so this was in 2016. but the monterey one it was a lot longer than that four or four okay so they just don't make it very long in captivity huh yeah it just says they just end up stopped swimming and they need to be pushed along and wow you just quit they just quit you're like what the [ __ ] is the point they quit like that dude in the in the tube with the werewolf yeah they just give up that feels like me and my last job before i just did comedy but isn't that important that you have jobs like that so do you remember yeah dude i'll never i'll never forget the night you know derek poston yeah very well derek has no hair now yeah i know yeah dude looking good but he this is when like because he he moved to san diego like right after me i mean right after i started like like a year after and and we were cool but just but but we started we just this is the night that i was like this dude's my bro cause he he i haven't even say anything to him he came to my job at this time i had quit the comedy club and i was just a bar back at this um irish pub called rosie o'grady's and it was the night after it was the night of saint patty's day so we it was just a swamp i worked my ass off and right before we closed one of the bartenders broke a glass in the well so where they get the ice from oh no so and so in the because of the way this place was set up it was like old school i had to carry i had to go to the hot water heater and like so the the hot the only hot water spigot was in the women's room oh no so i had to hold up the bathroom
line in the women's room enough buckets of hot water to melt all the ice and then go all the way to the back of the building and grab buckets ice to replace it like in the middle of the glass make sure that you got all of it so you didn't get a [ __ ] chunk you got to drink no you got to melt all the ice and then wipe it out thoroughly and then go over that muffin with a flashlight to make sure there's no chunks and so boom so we finally get all those [ __ ] out there and and derrick's my ride right and so every now and then you know my they let my ride coming in away from me right while we're closing down and that's also you know i get my little shifty you know but i'm cleaning the place and i finally opened it back up and the last lady that went in the women's room she [ __ ] all over the place and so so his last call we pushed everybody out the building and derek's sitting at the bar and somebody goes hey brian hey somebody [ __ ] all over the women's room and nick also so this is the part i'm leaving out so keep in mind the night before i just murdered that at the comedy club you know and and so and so the brown [ __ ] in the women's room and it was just look of just despair on my face and i met eyes with derek and he was like it ain't gonna be for long dawg it ain't gonna be for long because i don't even have to explain it to him cause it's like that feeling of knowing like i could beat a man i have it yes but i'm but i'm someone's [ __ ] in the women's room so now i'm this it's that thing of people walking out going i loved your stuff you were so funny and then some someone [ __ ] in the women's room and it's like [ __ ] but isn't that it's not a beautiful little moment in life that you can remember forever like the moment where you knew that this had to end we still we still talk about it to this day because it was it was that was the moment when it was like yo if you just get pat like you if you if you can stick it out yeah you'll be fine and i believed it you know i just like yeah
the those are important they're important you already have the thing though the thing is being funny and that's the some people don't have the thing yeah well see my thing i was never not confident that i was funny my my my lack of confidence is it was in whether funny mattered like how funny do i have to be before it matters you know yeah before i win the contest before i get the thing right before you get the recognition right that was always a problem in the early days man everybody was so thirsty everybody in the the early days of comedy and when i mean like my generation from open mic to being professional everyone was so so thirsty and when you started getting work you just was so desperado to get more work like everybody was just desperate to to bridge that barrier between an amateur and a professional quickly as quickly as you can yeah i got i got to make some money i got to do this like even when you had no business getting paid everybody was convinced that they were ready [Laughter] yeah you always think that beforehand that's why it's also important to save those old sets oh god i have something from the 90s that'll make my [ __ ] hair stand up yeah oh there's some i thought something i thought was fire they're terrible and i go back now look at them i'm like oh no this could never see the light of day isn't it interesting when you watch like an open mic or someone who's new who has like quick premises like they don't know how to get out of a premise and expand yet yeah and you see like those little baby steps you know you see like uh like like if someone plays a video game and they're bumping into the wall like they don't they don't know how to navigate yet and every day you see them do a movie like yeah it's like in the beginning you're button mashing right you know what i mean right you don't know how to do the combo but every now and then you just hitting the buttons and you pull some [ __ ] off but you might have like one or two ideas that are pretty good yeah and people listen to the premise and like ah cause i didn't understand that when i started when like oh geez would walk up and be
like you know you got something yeah you got something just keep doing it but that's the darkest thing about thieves because the darkest thing about thieves is they would come and watch the open micros and they would find those gems they would sit in the back of the open mic room for four or five hours we don't have to name any names but watch over and over and over again all these people coming up and take their best ideas can you imagine if you're sitting there and you're starting out as a comedian maybe you're a bartender somewhere or whatever and you know you get a couple nights off a week and you got a dream you try to make it you do a few open mics and then you do an open mic and the next thing you know you're watching your [ __ ] on comedy central and you're like what the [ __ ] dude that's your best bet i can't even imagine that that that that happened to me somebody stole a bit i don't think they did it intentionally but it was like word for word it couldn't have like it wasn't like something we both thought of it couldn't have been because you know my bits are right you know it was like the same thing i ended up writing a better joke oh i would have written a better joke about the same thing yeah because of it because i was just like i gotta let this go cause it's gonna drive me crazy people make mistakes you think you've heard something before or you think you haven't heard something before and you have i've done that yeah you you realize like oh [ __ ] that's someone else's bit oh you had you on stage halfway through it like oh wait a minute i've been there i've been there too i've been i've had people have to tell me that that bit is a bit that i heard before i'm like oh no like but these are honest mistakes there's a difference between that like a failed memory and then someone who like will sit and cherry-pick your act cherry-pick people's acts cause there was a lot of people in the 90s in particular that did just that imagine being that because that goes back we're talking about with no shame imagine having no it's terrible no ambition to actually be
good at what you're doing well it's also it's it is 100 a signal to everyone around you you don't give a [ __ ] about anybody but yourself like you're in this thing and there was a time where that was how a lot of comedians behaved where there wasn't the kind of camaraderie that we all enjoy now i think the camaraderie of like this generation and the generation just previous where they started to wake up and realize this like we're way more similar to each other like we're than the rest of hollywood like we we need to like stay together we need to like support each other and we need to appreciate each other we got into this because we're fans of comedy you get to hang out with the funniest people on the planet you should just be enjoying it yeah you should you got to figure out how to manage your own emotions in your own jealousy and your own like narcissism to to not think about other people's successes somehow or another being detrimental to you that's the difference between people that are strong and people that give in to that very base instinct and it's not just being funny too we're spoiled in the just just the intellectual stimulation yeah i've been in green rooms where it's like this conversation couldn't have happened anywhere else like two or three of the best thinkers in the world then you know comics aren't you know maybe they're not the best thinkers in the whole world but they but they always have an angle that you didn't think of like especially the ogs right they always like you've been around like ron you have ron white right here and you know another big name right here and you in the back and just listen just listening to the conversation and y'all talking about you know [ __ ] uh world war ii or some [ __ ] right and it's like you hear all these interesting perspectives like we're spoiled like that we are you know who knows a shitload about world war ii
shane gillis that [ __ ] is a historian he knows so much man he he turned me onto this book that i can't even read it's so hardcore wow i just met him dude it's about the starvation and cannibalism during world war ii it's like it's rough i'll tell you exactly what the name of it is so you got you freaks out there can go and torture yourself see it's crazy just like you said it but it was like when i when i first so when i filmed the special it was in new york yeah and the new york comics just showed me love like all the funny people when they know you funny yes it's like get the [ __ ] in here that is true that is one beautiful thing oh yeah when when comedians know you're funny there's just not that many of us it's called captured no no no that's a different one now that's the one that hank told me about that's good too whoops um how long we've been talking too long should probably wrap this up soon i think like three hours in oh okay is it between two fires or no well let me let me find it because it's recent i know that it's in here somewhere i think he i think he um suggested it to me i could never bring myself to reading it because he scared me just in the description of it [ __ ] what is it called starvation and what was the other thing you said no the other one was captured and that's the one that hank uh turned me on to it's not blood oh yeah that is that's what it is this is a fictional it's called no it's non-fiction it's called bloodlands it's in europe between hitler and stalin and it's all about you know when stalin was in power there was a tremendous amount of cannibalism and lex friedman has actually talked a lot about this as well because he's russian and he knows a lot about this the history of when stalin was ruling and literally starved their people but in this uh in this book apparently there's some horrific depictions of children
cannibalizing other children why but they were starving to death in japan in stalin russia oh in russia yeah yeah yeah he was he was telling me about it and i was like i can't even listen to this it was so wild and so horrible and so dark and also so recent when you think about people cannibalizing people because they're starving to death and you realize it was only 80 years ago you're like what 80 years ago yeah it was like 80 years ago you're like what are you saying cause because when society break down it's like all it would take is one power grid outage right to be happy to be to go unprepared for just i say a month before society collapses there's a time out here last year where all the power went out for a lot of people oh yeah during that winter storm yeah very strange yeah and and then the and then the [ __ ] the companies the power companies were like jacking up the prices like they were worse worse uh hotels or jacking up the prices of uh rooms like really jacking them up where people would had no power and they had no water and so they were trying to get hotel rooms nearly charging like a thousand dollars a night for a [ __ ] regular [ __ ] ass room at a motel and people were furious that's the darkness of people when they try to capitalize on horrific events the brightness of people is when you hear about people like there was a guy who brought his rig to kansas he's got a barbecue rig do you see that made the news and he started feeding everybody he's like all these people lost everything he goes i i felt compelled and he brought this big-ass barbecue rig and he went down there and started cooking for people and giving him free food what was he in the meat he brought it with himself he brought everything with him he's like i'm gonna go feed people his instinct when these people got hit by a hurricane was to go or a tornado was to go down there and feed people so he brought he was a barbecue guy he has this big ass rig like look at that thing behind him that huge smoker so that dude went there and he just cooked for people he looks like he don't take no [ __ ] well
you know what you need people like that yeah did he try to run for office his name is jim finch a man who for no other reason other than the people were in need he loaded up his truck with food water and a barbecue grill and drove to mayfield to serve others that is a beautiful thing that's a beautiful thing so that means no restaurants or no running water so i just figured i'd do what i can do show up with some food and some water how beautiful is that and look behind you look look at that [ __ ] ground behind him that is i've never experienced a tornado but i gotta imagine that is one of the [ __ ] scariest things you could ever experience where the sky becomes an angry monster and starts destroying buildings and especially because they they're they're so huge that they don't look like they're moving fast yeah it's like when the motherfucker's changing your direction and it's and it's on you there's nothing you can do yeah did you see that one the the images that they took of this one that destroyed kentucky no bro you look at the size of this thing it is so big it looks like multiple city blocks i mean like like new york city blocks multiple blocks of just swirling picking up cows and trees and houses and you can't get away where are you going to go you have to drive through the corn field you're going to hope that it doesn't turn hope hope that you don't hit and hit run to woods right when it turns you get stuck outside and you get thrown through the air do you think one of these days we figure out how to make them turn like what makes them what makes them happen then then [ __ ] come out and all these [ __ ] were like saying all these [ __ ] crazy things like somehow it's responsible for those people because those people vote against climate change and i'm like what are you saying like meanwhile and they're like you know this is this is what happens when people ignore nature and no you're wrong you're
wrong they've always had these things in fact the number of severe tornadoes has actually dropped over the last few years the number of tornadoes has risen but the number of severe tornadoes like this one apparently is dropped i was reading this common but not as deadly but but it could be deadly so that's the thing it's like at any moment there's no real pattern like a tornado if there was they would know when tornadoes were coming i mean they kind of do a little bit they have some alarms they sound but they don't know when what about hurricanes when these [ __ ] are coming hurricanes are way easier to spot hurricanes are they up or down well hurricanes form over ocean and hurricanes will make their way across the bay but jesus christ look what it did dude oh my god look at that look at that that's [ __ ] insane i would want to go to all the houses that stayed up who built that let me talk to that dude yeah this drone is a beast look at that [ __ ] devastation man look at the devastation of those houses it's insane dozens not just dozens dead but everything's destroyed look at all the houses who's moving back there how are you going to move back there think about all those people that are displaced even if they got out of there before the tornado got there where do they go now they lost everything yeah and i mean don't we have a government agency for that yeah that's a female yeah they're bad at it fema i mean they're not bad at it it's just like when something like this happens like what the [ __ ] are they gonna do i mean they can only do so much they can only give you so much food and shelter and they do their best to try to help people but but there's images jamie of the actual uh tornado itself they're so inefficient in the middle of the night right i only saw images i saw a video of a picture it was just being lit up by lightning so you could only see it when the lightning was hitting it was only in the middle of the night that's even scarier
imagine you're sleeping and the alarm i ain't got it yeah here we go got it look at the size of that [ __ ] thing so imagine you're outside you're hanging out with your friends just [ __ ] barbecuing and [ __ ] and the light crackles from lightning and you look over you see that coming and you're like oh my god dozens killed by tornadoes across six states just rolled through look at that thing jesus my god it's so big and you can't you can only see it when the lightning strikes oh my god that's like terrified that's like the wolf in that scene like right but you don't know where it is like the wolf and that's in your life is it coming towards us is it is it running away from us where do we go what if we drive into it by accident really bad close and so i thought there was a video i saw where the guy was like filming it himself and he's like talking about that though look at that that's the score that's the scariest [ __ ] you can see bro and you don't know how fast it's going because it's so big i mean it might be going 50 miles an hour and you feel okay yeah i'm fine well the next lightning striking is right in front of your ass i gotta imagine if you have to get home and get your kids imagine if your kids are over that way you got to drive that one you got to hope you time it right or you don't or you don't go home you you but you know what you have to you're right you have to die with your kids you either you either save your kids or you die with your kids and on that happy note merry christmas [ __ ] brian simpson's netflix specials out right now it's [ __ ] hilarious uh i watched some clips uh one bit that i hadn't seen you do before that was hilarious about the pennies bit oh i don't want to give it away it's [ __ ] genius it's on my instagram now oh okay that's where i saw it it's genius you're a funny [ __ ] we're gonna be tonight at the vulcan i'm very excited oh yeah your [ __ ] man you i'm very happy to see you blowing up let's do it there
it is right there um that's it um tell everybody your instagram my instagram is bs comedian twitter same [ __ ] same [ __ ] bs convenience and uh do you have a youtube page yes brian simpson that's it goodbye everybody bye y'all [Music] [Applause] you