Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgRUiibGcpU
[Music] that that is a digital art of an nft um what it is is this guy beeple do you know who beeple is no beepo's the king of the nfts he's he does he's a digital artist and he was on the podcast and he does a piece of digital art every single day and he has for 12 years you never seen his stuff oh my god it's incredible but it's that kind of absurdist stuff like that's uh elon a giant elon musk with uh doji coin is that the guy that does like the cool thing that had like hillary clinton's head on like a moving robot yes oh yeah i love that stuff yes that's him all of his stuff is real absurd and wild yeah it's awesome stuff and he that's beeple that's all of his that's cool yeah is that a burning man thing the bottom right or that's digital art yeah yes no it's not burning that damn interesting yeah he does all these like very strange but it's really funny people like try to find the hidden meaning well what he's trying to say is he goes i don't know what the [ __ ] i'm saying dude i love when an artist has to try to sell their work and they try to make it up but it's like the reality is i like flowers well he's he's not interested look at that one not the missile with the big [ __ ] he doesn't none of his stuff he's not he's he's the most unpretentious guy ever he's not pretentious at all he's the first weed i've smoked in over a week this is tobacco we're in texas you son of a [ __ ] [Laughter] really strong tobacco how come you're not uh smoking weed i was in center omega i was in dominican republic oh that's right we good one more good um cheers gentlemen yeah cheers to long life and fortitude boners good times that's good [ __ ] right yeah that's old stuff good scotch it's interesting i think i prefer like uh american whiskey i prefer like like buffalo tree style whiskey but that's still good it's amazing it's a different different flavor is this spay side i don't know highland i just had um like jeff go out and get some more i like the
pity kind too really yeah that's my favorite next time i'm here on bro what's the best stuff what's the best pity kind my favorite yeah um some scottish [ __ ] it's like kolila but yeah um it's my favorite i love it you don't can't find it everywhere um the 10 or the 12. i forget on 12. i'll bring you some next time you know what makes a damn good whiskey josh barnett josh barnett has his own warm master whiskey it's [ __ ] good josh barnett is a genius he's a very intelligent guy and he's a connoisseur of great things like he's he's really into things and if he does something he's gonna do it the right way like a hundred percent he'll never do a [ __ ] thing and he's got this war master whiskey i think it's like i forget the brand he's working with warbringer warbringer and his is called the war master and i'm telling you it's [ __ ] good i wish i had the bottle here i mean he gave it to me and i tried it i was like whoa i go dude this is some [ __ ] great promos like he's like he's in there in the factory [ __ ] looking back no no no no no you don't know he does he goes down there really yeah he goes down there look he's involved in every step of the way why did he stab that barrel because he's an animal he's josh barnett he's the youngest ever ufc heavyweight champion the youngest ever no one has beat his record he won the ufc heavyweight title i think he was 24 years old wow josh left right well he went on to do uh a bunch of other organizations and then came back back to the ufc eventually he's uh josh barnett's a [ __ ] renaissance he made a special appearance on the pro wrestling event that we did at the comedy store oh really he smacked the hell out of johnny scortes's uh chest oh no how nice that is not what you want you could have heard it from a [ __ ] la cienega the score to sell it oh he sold it so good he did a few steps like he was fine and then he just like died so good i love josh barnett he's so interesting and he's a great example of like someone that i could say like if someone had these uh preconceived
notions about what a cage fighter's like yeah you know and you think like they're all brutes and they're all you know dumb people like sit down with josh barnett he's a world-class cage fighter has been for many many years he's uh a elite high level grappler and he's a brilliant guy like glass act gets it doesn't seem like he's brain damaged with someone's surprise like there's plenty of meat huts but there's also like some interesting ones oh there's a little bit like oh there's a lot of them it's a hard thing to do man you know it's a hard thing to do to to be able to do that for a living i talked to a guy first time i talked to keith jardine he looked like he looks scary i told him one guy this weird [ __ ] up ears yeah and i was like excuse me it was new to the ufc like first or second or third one and so i was like thought i was in the way constantly excuse me like move there's like no excuse me it's looking at me i was like uh uh what he goes i heard you like jd salinger yeah i'm just reading this now it's quite good that's awesome yeah he's one of the owners of caveman coffee oh yeah yeah him and tate and there was another woman as well oh god what's your name what's that lacey that's right lacey and they uh they have the best cold brew the cobras the [ __ ] they've had their cold brew yeah it's good stuff but uh keith's super smart there's a lot of those guys man a lot of [ __ ] smart people in the ufc it's it's shocking you know because it's such a crazy thing i mean you're putting your brain in in danger but a lot of the people that excel at it carlos condit very smart guy very smart do you run for governor no his dad was a governor or something like that maybe that's it or governor who's some politician what was he he wasn't the one who had the governor the chick disappeared and then got i don't think so let's not even spread that rumor no who was that though which one is that there was some chick disappeared and his like
staff just disappeared and they were all sort of investigating him until some other story came up and just barely oh any memories i don't know what you're talking about this is 9 11. this was not 11. let this guy be the guy's name was gary condit that's right and there was a girl that he was apparently having an affair with or supposedly having an affair with living in his life and she got murdered in a park yeah like right after the affair was exposed and then 911 happened and so because 9 11 happened everybody sort of forgot about it because it was so crazy that's right chandra leave oh sean she would have been like the next lewinsky it's those things like the thing is about washington dc you have to think there are there are real murders there like that is an absolutely uh dangerous city would you not oh you're talking about what i'm saying imagine though if if it wasn't the case if he didn't have her whacked if he just had an affair with her and the affair got exposed and then she just randomly got murdered he's like oh no they're gonna think that's me a hundred percent i'm not saying that that's the case i'm just saying could you imagine if that did happen yeah because like that's always the wonder like when something coincidentally happens that's always the wonder yeah yeah yeah is that was it a coincidence was it a murder hillary clinton says coincidence we were just we were just watching this uh we were rather reading this statistic the other day about how many women listen to those true crime shows they're like 73 women or something yeah they love it they love it crazy i heard something that's making women a little bit um like fearful of doing things in the world because they're constantly anyone walking behind them now because of those they're like [ __ ] [ __ ] that guy's up to something right and they can't just like be anymore right you gotta get off those chicks well i think that people are getting influenced by anything that gives them anxiety whether it's anxiety about serial killers wearing anxiety about diseases or war with russia or war with
china or like we're just we're all ramped up on all sides everyone is freaking out and for what for [ __ ] you can't control almost always doesn't concern you and you're just feeling fear over nothing it's interesting right because it's always been the way people have operated they always get together in a patch of land and they choose a leader and then they [ __ ] [ __ ] everybody else this is it this is us this patch we are the [ __ ] [ __ ] patch 72 it's kind of funny man it's like what they're really everyone would really be afraid of is if all of the people woke up and said hey we don't even really need a government if we just stop invading each other and we equally distribute all of the natural resources if we just if we instead of hoarding it we treated us as one community one community the community is planet earth so people need food in africa that's our community if people need gas in argentina that's our community and we all work together yeah and there's no there's no presidents why won't that happen well because people always want to take over dude even if the poor people here if you're like yeah we should everyone split it up evenly like that means with the whole world even the poor people here would be like oh no let's not do that it's so we're so funny the way we like have narratives from movies and from fiction and we try to like shoehorn them into real life and one of them is like politicians aren't corrupt and politicians are looking out for your best interests no way when if you see that in a movie you're like oh that makes sense so in real life if i say to you do you think that some politicians are corrupt and you're like yeah definitely do you think that politics in general is kind of tainted by influence and money be like oh yeah yeah [ __ ] yeah for sure and you go okay is that happening right now no i think right now it's doing a really good job every other five year period i don't think this guy's ties to the pharmaceutical companies are a big problem at all and they've been talking about it for 200 years bro the [ __ ] government's always ripping people off and suddenly now you're right they were like no not these people see nancy pelosi defend uh insider trade he's just
about to ask what what'd you say i'm making i don't know guys i'm doing great at it you guys should try a bunch of people were freaking out about it i think it was crystal and sauger where we're doing i didn't watch it but i did see the headline that she apparently oh it's incredible you have to watch it it's like she's just bypassing all the laws to make hella cash she looks so guilty it's like when uh they they tell robert durst that they know that he did it and he like starts burping and [ __ ] just deflects you think about how much money she's worth she makes like how much a year how much does she make a year she just funnels into her husband like no he made the money not me technically well how much money does she make a year from being a congresswoman or overall okay stuff she's getting now or stuff she's putting away somewhere where no one can see it she's the speaker of the house right oh you mean salad probably like a 200 000 job right she's a big six hundred thousand just not speaking of the house money you're saying no no i don't think it's that money fauci is the highest paid government employee and he's like 23 223 and fauci is slightly less than a half a million dollars wow jesus yes they got to make their money on the side but fauci's like the highest paid government employee i think fouchy might even be more than the president no i think the president makes a little more than that presidents paid 400 grand they got to start paying them more they get better people but it is it's like an investment if you get out you will have money for speaking engagements yeah with all the companies that you helped all the companies that you like hey i like you i like you don't say guy let's party they they're like hey mike uh mike the former president we'd love to have you come speak at our conference and we're willing to pay you a half a million dollars so this is like weird bribes yeah when but i'm in office right now right after you get out it's not that it's it's kind of genius it's a genius con game what it is is like a virus finds its way through the system and they never tell on each other they're left on the right side just like no no we're all in that game yeah that's the
game of making big money after you quit and then you can also sell books if you're a president you write a book that book is selling for sure do you remember when the ufc paid eight and eight they paid eight thousand dollars to lose a fight another eight to win i think there's still times like what is what is the i don't what is the entry level fight pay can't still be eight eight might be ten and ten but regardless these are like winning fighters do you remember that happened what did the fighters then do did they accept just that salary right or they went out and got it another way that's what the [ __ ] congress is doing they're just they're getting paid well sort of except the congress people in doing that they're they're playing a game that's illegal to play if you're not like if if you know specific that's how they put martha stewart away isn't it wasn't it insider trading yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah so what is insider trading it's like you know something and because you know something you can't make a move on the market because you have inside information is that exactly what it is dude i told everybody yes that's exactly right because you're on the know so of course you would buy all the stocks and rig the system is that the most tempting like illegal thing to do ever yeah dude i said on my part you [ __ ] know something's about to happen yeah let's hear what she says she looks like a vampire yeah she's always looked that way too what is that hold on sorry [Music] and 182 congressional staffers have violated the stock act um the insider training law i'm wondering if you have any reaction to that and secondly should members of congress and their spouses be banned from trading individual stocks no to this second one pause pause pause pause hold on you could tell when she goes through a drink oh i'm gonna be talking it's like right there like oh boy okay let me hear this give me some volume okay it's as loud as i can okay go ahead and the teeth and secondly should members of congress and their spouses be banned from trading individual stocks while serving in congress no i don't
know to the second one um what any we have a responsibility to report in the stock on the stock but i don't i'm not familiar with that five month review but if the people aren't reporting they should be because this is a free market in people we are free-market economy they should be able to participate in that she's telling why her husband should be able to invest in stuff that she knows about have you ever seen a person look more nervous yeah it was the long sip the gulp right afterwards and the immediate shake go back to like minute like second ten as soon as he starts she also licks her teeth before taking this step okay let me see this you have any reaction to that and secondly should members of congress and their spouses be banned from trading individual stocks while serving the congress no i don't know to the second one um any we have a responsibility to report in the stock on the stock but i don't i'm not familiar with that five month review but if people aren't reporting they should be here because this is a free market in people we have a free market economy they should be able to participate in that she she already thinks what she's doing is completely right she's like no we're making this is how we make cash i don't know no way we're doing it i think that's why she gave such a simplistic answer she's giving this like very simplistic almost vague answer because should should you be allowed to participate in the stock market when you're influencing the direction of the stock or when you know which direction something's going to go in or when you're going to pass a law yeah that's going to to benefit these businesses that's going to force the stock to go up and you know that so you invest a [ __ ] ton of money before it happens that seems like no one else is allowed to do that it seems like it's a problem yeah that seemed like now why is that not a problem here's why they're [ __ ] co-workers because i would also abuse it it's like the coach of their team you know of
course they would what i was saying earlier it's like the most tempting thing to do you wouldn't do it the rest of us would do it like we found out pete rose was betting on and against his teams when he was playing for the team that's sort of the same thing well the against foreign is the problem if you're betting on your team i don't give a [ __ ] i'm like good you should bet on your team when i hear like a fighter bets like a million dollars in like some sort of a side bet on himself like [ __ ] and yeah why not man if he really thinks he can win that much who gives a [ __ ] makes it more exciting the only problem with pete rose betting honest team is when we finally made it it was like uh he would throw in closers for no reason wasting him for the next game so like he finished off a six-run lady was like [ __ ] mariano finished it out anyway people like oh that's weird interesting like so we made decisions that weren't wise yeah if you were to ensure one win over the others right if you were just being a manager i don't know that's [ __ ] is that monday morning quarterbacking though borderline yeah you're right it's like i i'm i'm all down for people betting on themselves but when you bet against yourself that means you're going to not play hard because you want to win money you're going to do things on accident that are on purpose you're going to [ __ ] up on purpose yeah you can't do that that's illegal that should be illegal but that's so different that's like you know you've got to think of all the other people that are gambling too you know you're [ __ ] over a lot of people like if all the people think that you're going to win and you're you're like for sure i'm not going to win yeah everyone don't think i'm gonna win because for sure i'm not but how much can a baseball player or a coach really influence how a game goes they can they can definitely have a big impact on it percentages percentage baseball less than most right i don't know man i don't know enough about it but i would imagine if you were a coach and you have uh a roster of someone who's in the yankees pretty much they're all superstars right
i mean if you get that far with the athletes of today if you have whatever you have 10 15 players i got to think those guys are all animals i mean you don't get to be like a major league player unless you're like a top flight athlete just it's too lucrative a job too many guys want it so like how much influence can a a manager have of telling i mean how much do you think fifty percent four more thirty percent football the most would you say yeah baseball some you're saying setting up a lineup but if one guy's like hey i feel a little tight instead of going like all right we'll wanted her he's like let's stitch out today you can also you they signal to the third base coach straight to the player to take a pitch [ __ ] you know so you do a little more yeah they yeah it's not the only game you're gambling on it's over a season you'll help them win a lot you know what's interesting is like fighting has always been thought of as a sport where people throw fights yeah it's always been an issue you know that was always the thing that haunted sunny liston in the second fight he had with muhammad ali because muhammad ali dropped him with this like real short right hand and a lot of people they call it the phantom punch but it definitely was a punch like you see liston's head sink in like a guy will sometimes when they get ko'd you definitely see it there's a thing that happens when a guy gets hit on a jaw where you see the way his head sort of sinks in and listen's head definitely sinks in which means that ali connected but the acting after he went down was so ridiculous like you could tell he wasn't really trying to get up he was like pretending he was trying to get up it was acting so it's like he definitely got hit with a punch but in my opinion he stayed down and i think there was probably a bet because liston was like deep ties to the mob wound up being a doorman at mob owned casinos like and it died on drugs it's really sad story but at one point in time sonny liston was like the scariest guy on the [ __ ] planet until ali beat him and then ali when he was fighting him a second time he hit him with just one punch watch it let's play it
so he's moving and you know he had just lit listing up in the first fight look at this right here bam see that that's a real punch back that up again people say that's a phantom punch no [ __ ] way that's a real punch you can see it watch he look at this right hand over the top boom perfect perfect punch on the jaw but now here's where it gets weird watch it again one more time so if you see ali moving i mean ali was a master look at that timing who the [ __ ] else could do that in the heavyweight division before him he's got his opponent coming in and he's uh counter punching but that the way he did this is [ __ ] beautiful man if you like can appreciate how hard it is to do that the way he did that to sonny no no play it back hold on that was just showing the punch that wasn't shot afterwards we need to see afterwards because afterwards is when he's laying down he's pretending he can't get up maybe he couldn't get up but for me i'm like i don't know about this like i'm looking at him like see you see that like that seemed like acting like if you're sure he got hit but that that there's just something about it just doesn't sit right with me it didn't seem like a guy normally they didn't do the count they did no the referee was trying to figure out what the he said [ __ ] corner said it was ten seconds but he didn't count him they just did it from the corner back then i don't know it was this is very confusing i forgot that that whole thing had happened after that he did get it he went after him again and ollie went after him again when the fighter goes down and the ref has trouble getting the guy to the neutral corner the time keeper is supposed to yeah but they they're not supposed to go presume fighting again so that's why it's confusing he's going over it literally over from the time keeper what you're saying it was 10 seconds right because i thought you got it counted out loud to give the guy a chance to get up with he wants to get up at 8. look listen starts moving towards ali and ali wrexham
and listen doesn't fire at ollie at all yeah there's something about it man but the thing about it the the the thing that makes me feel weird is watching him get up watch do the part where you're watching him get up again see i know this is a real punch bam look at it it's a beautiful punch and he's like watch this but now watch this there's something about him laying there with his arms over his head and he's rolling around now watch this falls back down that part right there i'm not buying that part right here your hands don't naturally go that way you love your head that's where i'm not buying it where he goes all the way to his back again but it could be it could be because he did get punched and he did get punched by one of the greatest fighters in the history of fighting it could be but it's something about it it feels fishy and then the the rumor was that he took a dive and so all the people that had bet on liston oh my god it became chaos that's like the only reason they lost and he was and he also did he developed a reputation as a guy who threw a fight because they called it the phantom punch yeah and then but it wasn't a phantom punch it's a good [ __ ] punch but it's like there's something funky going on and people know when something funky is going on like if you watch when george foreman fought uh floyd patterson watch that fight there's not a question in the head in the world what the [ __ ] happened george foreman went out and destroyed floyd patterson nobody thought floyd patterson took a [ __ ] dive because you can tell the difference yeah you can see the difference the thing is you don't always see the difference if they're good well no it's just like there's there's moments where a guy cracks a guy and it doesn't even make sense and maybe the guy has like a previous injury like maybe he got knocked down in training and he got hit and knocked out way too easy but you see things that don't seem real sometimes but they definitely are like dehydrated there was a guy named marvin eastman marvin eastman was a tank
oh my god just a [ __ ] specimen and he fought travis luder and he fought travis luton and travis luter knocked him out with a punch but when you watch the knockout it almost kind of doesn't make sense like he hit him he hit him for sure he hit him clean but it's the way he hit him he just went completely unconscious like instantly and it turned out the word was that he had gotten knocked out in training which happens all the time yeah i think it was i think he was sparring to ortiz was the rumor i'm sorry i got this wrong but if you uh you watch the fight and you watch the kale you're like wow that's weird because it's not that travis can't punch he definitely can punch it's just the way it happened it looks like show that fight there's things that look odd and you go well what is that is that odd because it's just some weird moment where like a guy had been injured already yeah i never thought and if the connor punching out aldo seemed like it was that vicious of punch oh my god that was perfect yeah that's but it doesn't seem like brutal strength well when someone's coming in you can't you can't yeah i mean it just doesn't get any better than that which is what's interesting about that muhammad ali takes two big steps back and he's bringing him in and then he counter punches so he's bringing him in sort of double as he gets hit on the chest too not only that he's bringing him in like this he's got his hand like this and he goes around his hand and he punches him in the chin he's moving around and as listen comes at him he he brings his hand up and around liston's hand before liston can even withdraw his hand and cover and cracks him on the chin it was a beautiful punch yeah conor aldo same thing like it's like right to left just straight across while he's coming forward makes his head spin the fact that aldo was so hell-bent on destroying conor he just was hell-bent and and connor took advantage of that i remember that it was like here we go big fight and there was like one it's over immediately smile yeah it's like when she slaps somebody and then it was genius but this was a powerful punishment you first look at that boom bang bang first of all you got to
realize it's perfectly placed yeah accuracy is impeccable second of all some people can just crack and if you look at conor's build there's a lot of guys built like that that can [ __ ] crack i want to see it in slow motion he's got he's got real wide shoulders he's real fast and he's got big hands like all those things together he's just got that freakish punch there's there's just people that just have that kind of punch man oh i mean that's just genius left foot gets hit afterwards too yeah he had a little bit of a cut over his right eyebrow from that punch from aldo's uh one punch look how genius this is look at this bam that's so genius with one punch he was like faking punch you know what's even more genius he worked on the exact thing and he mimicked what he was going to do in the green room there's video of him of who connor connor pretending to be aldo and then him showing what he's going to do and counter he does the exact move in the green room knowing in the dressing room knowing that that's going to be the fight reminds me of mossvidal asprin right oh yeah yeah yeah same thing he he practiced that step off to the side she was a great one he was like it really is when you factor in that it that's connor pretending to be aldo and this is him bam look see he's literally saying how it's going to go down he's walking how aldo does and boom i want to see both sides now wait let me see okay look at this i mean it's literally what he did he practiced it he he predicted it was happening he knew all those movements he had it time down and he's like much more light on the foot and as aldo moves forward he times it perfectly bam look at that yeah with the right dude that left hand that left hand is a missile too damn that left hand's a missile that that guy he's he's one of the most spectacular punchers in the history of the sport he has some punch ko victories who conor yeah his one when he beat eddie alvarez show that you want to see [ __ ] genius striking with the hands it's genius [ __ ] like you can see eddie alvarez just got bewildered by it
i mean the the combinations he hit him with while just subtly avoiding alvarez's punches genius [ __ ] genius dude he was i used to love rooting against him yeah he was such a good heel too yeah yeah cheer for diaz oh totally a guy he's the best healer he got everybody into it yeah he's the best he'll we ever like [ __ ] i hope you got your comeuppance i just never would dude i'm telling you when you watch this combination it's [ __ ] watch it's look at the sidekick to the body i mean he's hitting him with all kinds of [ __ ] he's so light on his feet like this is prime conor in my opinion she's so light on his feet look at these combinations watch this she's like just it's just getting just out of the way like eddie can't touch him he hit him there though but is connor just looking for the opening but not enough to hurt him that was it that's one klipson needed the body you know people get all wrapped up in all the personality and the flash and the money and the rolls royces and everything that [ __ ] could fight he could fight and guys have beat him but you got to be like an elite of the elite you got to be like a khabib or a poor yeah you got to be top of the food chain to beat them we're fighting irish go towards the end of this yeah i just want to see that i want it i just wanted the final combo the finish of this fight is legendary it's like in highlight reels all over the place look at this look at that combo look at that combo show me that again watch this look at this he just slides in on him getting better here boom boom boom i mean come on there she slides just out of the way the punch lands four or five ruthless punches perfectly placed let me see it one more time oh okay look at this look at it it actually touches his chin he doesn't even flinch one two three the accuracy
four and just swarms on them and perfect placement right there's no extra wind up that would would have made a mess look at this bing bing bing bang look at me that's [ __ ] that's amazing it goes from fine to cut up bro that's an amazing combination that's an amazing combination what happened to him got [ __ ] fights man fights happened to him yeah and then also a [ __ ] ton of money and then also sometime out of the game while he was doing the floyd mayweather thing you know he trained for quite a while for floyd mayweather which was i'm sure just doing boxing if you're going to play you know you're going to train for a giant 100 million dollar fight you're most likely not going to do any you know mma sparring or anything probably just did that for a while and then you get that money what's that marvin hagler quote about it's hard to get up at five in the morning and go running when you're sleeping in silk sheets i think that's the that's him now he's super jacked whoa usada's gonna take it wait took a visit that's connor yeah right now oh dude he looks like he's about to go wwf yeah he looks like a bodybuilder well that's the 70s it's a weird picture honestly i mean he's definitely jacked but it looks to me like he's the middle of lifting and if you uh if you see a guy's body in the middle of lifting it's a little deceptive because everything see that's what he looks like now he's still jacked he still looks great but when you're um when you lift weights like as you do it like those bodybuilders that go on stage before those uh big mr olympia things they all get pumped opioid that's he looks good though whoa he looks so old now he looks different yeah he's got that crease that beard's crazy but he looks fit is he tucking up his shorts to let his dick come out he's got a hog i bet my bad betty's gonna he's uh looks like he's walking around on that shin i wonder uh like what percentage healed it is you got to feel
like if a bone breaks in half like that and then you get like a metal plate to hold it in place and all these screws and [ __ ] that's got to take a while tiger woods is back he hitting golf balls again he just posted on instagram i heard smashing the ball and uh he talked about how his leg almost got amputated amputated from what happened what happened to him a car accident a massive car accident and yeah was he didn't he like go off a cliff or some [ __ ] oh yes what not really like a cliff cliff but like a yeah like a like what yeah like a uh what's that called or like a reveal yeah how long ago was this february yeah oh serious accident wow yeah like there's his car at the bottom of this ditch yeah damn yeah and he almost lost his legs and the bottom left one was for the for the cheating yeah the cheating one yeah that was different different kind of accidents yeah different kind of costume this this uh accident they think was a result of him actually just losing control of the vehicle like maybe he was going too fast or is that what they think is that what the was he with anybody it seems like he lost consciousness is the overall report that i think i read because no there was no skid marks he could have been tired he could have had low blood sugar he just golfed in florida it was hot oh no damn no what does he say i heard after a concussion you can lose like a minute or two of your memory like right before something happens you don't have it anymore huh well if it's if he's if he's going to sleep at the wheel like oh [ __ ] that can happen to people man though that's unfortunate like fainting's a real thing do you think you're trying to commit suicide not high no no not enough no guys like that don't try to kill themselves yeah they just do better they come back and say [ __ ] you they show you they win everything and i think that's what he's going to do he's not and it's going to be he's already said i'm not yeah that's what he says he also said
that after the everything he's been through everything and this freak keeps coming back my buddy kyle kolinsky is a uh serious uh tiger woods fan and he sent me these stats he goes look at this like look look at the the winning stat have you seen the winning stats i mean it depends on which status i'll send you i'll show you the thing that he sent me because it's just so cool he was unstoppable i used to have a bet him against the field in every major and it was like right i was behind at some point and i was ahead but like it was anybody's game yeah him or everybody else combined on any given day remember when you thought there was no way he wouldn't break nicholas's record and there's also he was done not only was he beating people but the way he was the way this golf scores he was beating people it would be the equivalent if a basketball team won like 500 to 45. he [ __ ] yeah he could like [ __ ] moonwalk the entire like back nine it was so far ahead all right here it is i found it jamie i'm gonna send it to you right now okay you watch that crazy documentary hbo made about him no well geez louise first there's a two-part documentary the first part they just talk about what a freak he is and how great he is and how much better than everybody that's ever done it he is and how he changed the game forever and the second one just talks about how he loves [ __ ] i mean he just can't get it up look at that win look at that win percentage what of what highest percentage isn't that insane wait he won 20 every five look how much better he is than everybody god damn he's so much better than everybody like that is proof right if there's ever a proof of like who's the best yeah that's proof yeah that's the best proof you're ever going to see oh 1983 to 2021 how wild is that what was nicholas's winning record in palmers uh let me check interesting you could be fairly out of shape and win at that he made people care about golf nobody cared about it besides golfers before but he was never out of shape he was always like he was like the first guy that i remember seeing where i looked at my black i
could probably do any sport well are there other guys like that it wasn't big big i don't follow the game so if someone makes it onto tv it's usually like jack nicholas extremely mental it's a ridiculously mental game like john daly is you know a big guy drinks has fun smokes cigarettes drinks co diet coke while playing and he you know so tiger has the most wins by far wow by almost 20 but ben hogan has 64. he's tied with sam snead the wins aren't in order it's number one percentage oh okay because nicolas does but hogan's still pretty good man look at that hogan won 21 of the time damn but these are all-time greats ever oh the all-time all-time greats i obviously have never played golf but all my friends all my friends who play golf and pool all say golf is harder really they all say yeah it's golf swiss way harder oh it's crazy you're playing get so many other people and so many in yourself different things the elements sand wind so much fact you have to factor in it's this feel thing i see when these guys are making these shots and they're like sitting there on their knees and trying to figure out which way the ground rolls and they have to kind of figure that out and time it perfectly yeah what do you think that why is that so satisfying like someone was trying to bring that up like whether that was a hunting thing who brought that up uh i couldn't i could tell you it's like because it's like that it's like a hike but you have something to do yeah but someone was saying there's something about the accuracy like getting we are obsessed with accuracy and that we're obsessed with like getting a ball into a net or a ball into a hole or an arrow into the center of the target we're obsessed with accuracy and they think it has something to do with hunting i like it that makes sense hitting a target and then yeah hitting it and you feed your family that makes sense totally makes sense yeah yeah we're so why else would we be so invested in someone who could throw a ball over a plate knock down some pins yeah pheasants or whatever wow i never thought of it that way that
makes total sense yeah they think that's one of the factors that led to us becoming people from lower hominids to people they think the throwing arm was one of the major factors they're always trying to like pin it on one thing like the mushroom people want to think it's one thing and the meat people want to think it's like cooking meat over fire but i have a feeling it was all those things i think it was a bunch of [ __ ] together that turned us into people but one of them they think for sure was we figured out our ability to throw things do you ever throw things i never never can't even picture you i can picture you kicking but i can't picture you throwing anything no i mean i never you ever even like pictures you shoot like paper balls into trash cans sometimes yeah kobe yeah but i'm not good like i lose that horse to my kids i play basketball i lose a horse to my kids my [ __ ] 11 year old sticks in my face like ha ha i'm like [ __ ] wow it's fun though that's hilarious i'm terrible at basketball yeah but i don't practice it if i play basketball three times a year but the thing is like they don't like to play with me after like an hour and a half because then i start to get a feel for it adjustments have been made and then i start finding out where that hole is all right second half we'll see we'll see if i do that with my wrist it seems to be more accurate but like imagine doing that and then moving and someone's trying to block you and then you're shooting at the same time like jesus christ yeah but we're obsessed with that we're obsessed with golf seems impossible when you break it down like there's a small ball there i'm gonna take a stick and hit no zero chance you ever make that crazy what a what a wacky game and you also you know the more you find out about it the crazier it gets because you have to you do your backswing and then everything falls into motion it's not even like you're hitting the ball with the stick your hips are turning first your arms are coming second your wrists are coming third you have to remember to follow
through you have to keep your head exactly where it was when you started or else you're going to hit below the ball or above the ball which is a freaking embarrassing nightmare um yeah it's like when you mess up a break shot on pool right yeah that can happen yeah and it can be completely embarrassing there's like there's so many funny golf instagram pages and stuff yeah i'm like they're the best they really are and you can almost guarantee that everyone's a hit what is this michael jordan talking about well a competitive person like me this is what keeps me sane you know because when i walk away from the game of basketball you know that was enough to keep my competitive juices working absolutely now when i'm i don't have that game this game and it even drives me crazy then now i go fishing in between my golf because i got to show patience and fishing that's going to be related relative to to god so he just plays golf like as a like that's his life now that's what he loves that's his competitive life are you texting people i'm sending this a dance uh instagram likes oh did instagram ban you instagram did banned me for what the [ __ ] man hate speech too much hate speech they said they're changing what hate speech is tell everybody what happened well uh one of them was um um my tour posters i let my fans do rename my tour it makes me laugh genius by the way yeah it's really the rules that's a bet it's a great idea thanks you post them and they're funny and you allow people to get their name out there like people do graphic art mm-hmm one of them was uh the wrong side of history tour great okay i can name it that's a good salad tournament uh the next one was uh the hitler gave me gonorrhea tour and it's just a picture of hitler with his hand over me is that a problem they had a problem with the speech wait a minute they're both hate speech that was hate speech the first one was christian was not hate speech was okay but that one was hate speech hate speech they don't like hitler they don't like
mentions of hitler another one you're a jew shouldn't you get a pass joe you're asking a great question i think you should i think you should get a pass it's like if i make guinea jokes right if i make jokes about italian people like i get a pass on that those are my people i think also even if you're not if you said hitler gave me gonorrhea you're clearly the shit-on person in that in that joke yeah yeah yeah yeah no matter what you are yeah it's funny you could be a german and it would still apply yeah hitler gave me gonorrhea is a funny thing to say i'm not saying the holocaust was good there's no he's not even saying hitler gave me gonorrhea he's saying it's funny to say hitler gave me gonorrhoea that's the second level of it i'm forced to say this is a bad thing don't you understand that this is just fun and this is not a real thing like you can't say this is hate speech this is a silly nonsense thing to say it has nothing to do with hate right it's not true it's funny to name your tour after this ridiculous thing exactly now i have to so the idea that everyone would think oh that's your tour name now the call in that hate speech is so uncreative oh it's it's so i don't even know what the rules are anymore i'm right on the line i'm like right about to be there i feel it you got some warnings oh big big warnings they're literally like this is your last but not my main account but the kill tony account because literally only because of the word kill because it says kill tony otherwise you can't and you can't reach anybody like hey just mark this is safe please because obviously i'm not the name of the show of a comedy show oh god because yeah there might be a tony out there that feels like they're threatened i know yeah wow someone's saying that uh doctors are leaving cards um there was like some example of a card on the desk saying you can opt out if you don't want to be weighed wait what do you mean like if you have to get weighed at the at the doctor's office they weigh you but you can opt out if you're embarrassed about it yeah oh my god imagine like a doctor is gonna do an exam on you one of the most important things your weight yeah whether or not
you're obese i mean they should tell you is it is it purple charge of everything they really should is it privileged that you get to go in there and like that's your moment like now i get to see exactly what i weigh right i'm always like sweet now for the next like few weeks i can tell people precisely scale yeah right on the real one there's no like this might be off yeah it's like you're in wrestling class yeah yeah there's uh there's no [ __ ] reason why that you would you ever stop doing that you have to weigh people yeah [ __ ] you talking about i don't know that's how you know progress yeah like if someone's on a diet and they're cleaning up their life and they're getting good and healthy what's one of the best indicators you can weigh them i mean you shouldn't be obsessed on any one thing yeah you should just try to be healthy but if you used to be 500 pounds and now you're 400 pounds that's a good thing and vice versa means something you should concentrate on yeah wait kill every time kill yeah kill tony just call it the name and they're gonna they're gonna ban the thing you're gonna have to call kt basically yeah those are the adjustments that we have to make to the post the kc show sounds so much lamer oh my god that sounds like morning radio we're so we're so lost one thing we've realized is that if you just turn the eye into an exclamation point or like little dumb things that is just you have to show some effort i guess yeah weird and creepy to effort to be like no one who follows you or sees this is gonna get get it wrong right and that's another thing because people are following you so it's like you should be entrusted with whatever you could lose followers that should be the punishment that's what i always thought when i posted my first time i got banned posted a dump and they're like you're gone and i'm like let them unfollow me they're doing it in droves let them do it it's disgusting but don't take me away for the people like i don't mind well the problem is you could show up in their algorithm and then don't get
suggested no no you love them pictures you don't look do you ever look into the like the the like when you're searching you just find things there should be a way to mark yeah there should be a way to market like this is only for people on my feet this one's not this one's sensitive that's good yeah yeah that's a good way don't let it out that would be a good way to do it you ever see one of those like bomb videos going off and it's always like blurry and you're like hey careful so you click on it yeah have those let me set it yes yeah yeah yeah or animal attack videos or some [ __ ] with my new [ __ ] account how do you promote your thing without a [ __ ] thing it's hard it's hard you got to stop showing your [ __ ] was it this time yeah and then there was a jesus [ __ ] christ door and it was a picture of me but no noodly it's just you know don't put him in the suggestion column yeah yeah help us suggest it for you or whatever it is do you know what i'm talking about again if the people are into that type yeah then why can't they get it why can't they think it's not hurting anybody why can't they get one sense of humor better or different than another it's not even a right-wing left-wing thing i'm like i'm just yeah i think there's certain people where if they had to look at your [ __ ] it would not be a pleasant experience that's fair let's move on past the [ __ ] because i admit some fault in that one it wasn't particularly bloody [ __ ] it wasn't such a normal [ __ ] it was oh yeah it was like bloody [ __ ] yeah it was bad i'll find it for you later it was bad like it doesn't make sense yeah um yeah they should there should be a i don't know why they don't right is it a financial decision is it a social engineering decision they want everyone to be the same they want one [ __ ] everyone the same so they can market the same to everyone with the least amount of effort let us we're all different right let's have our different experiences but here's another thing that we have to make a a a
concession about or at least talk about it's like who's responsible for when when you hear about uh kids getting [ __ ] up from social media like particularly girls they should be on that [ __ ] up their stuff but they're gonna be everybody's oh they're all gonna be on it like who's responsible and what do they do to stop things that could possibly bite them in the ass like are they making decisions that are financial decisions like are they looking at people putting up [ __ ] up things like that and go hey we could get sued or we can get taken down or people could write articles about how we won't and then our stock could drop and are they i mean is that what they're doing some of it because it's not one person it's a kilometer of people who just want dividends that's why there's always forest fires here because the like pg e is like uh we gotta give shareholders difference so same thing here they won't do it and but the reality is that they know they're making leads to people to suicide like shut the whole thing down until you figure out how to do it without that i have a friend who works for a big media company and we were having this conversation and she was saying that a lot of the people that work there also consider themselves activists because they're doing social change that's what they think they're concentrating on their own they're not yeah they're not just thinking about um their job they're thinking about the fact that they could like enact change in the making people upset about things all over the country in the world for to do nothing you're just filling us all with anxiety and fear you're right for nothing but you're not an activist you're ruining everybody's life you'll understand why if everybody accepts that definition they actually think they are because they get involved in social issues and they spread emails and they you know have meetings you're doing it wrong well everyone's less happy everybody out there is less happy and everybody feels it they're doing it wrong make them do it right so we're not all [ __ ] hating our brothers it's dumb it's clearly [ __ ] us all up it is but it's it's
everybody's at each other's throats it's terrible and they're doing it stop it you can't do that [ __ ] we none of us signed up for that it's [ __ ] we all feel less happy all of us tell me i'm wrong from 10 years ago to now what do you what are you a suggestion i'm saying they're hurting all of us we didn't get permission to do that in what way we're in there hating each other the way we turn against our neighbors now that's all new the way we like i don't talk to my mom anywhere because she voted this way that's crazy right that was never a thing they're doing that to us and we signed up under the idea that we're sharing pictures of our [ __ ] food and then he turned each other on each other wait a minute we're unable to stop we're unable to stop so if you just put all chemicals in all food without labeling it and like well they keep eating it it's like yeah you're putting addictives in there you have to warn us on things like that they're making it they're testing us they're putting us forth the stuff that makes us angry on purpose everybody knows that they make you see the stuff that makes you angry so then you're living because they also tell you hey just so you know two years ago you also looked at this thing so we're gonna send you a few reminders there until you get sucked back in on it you get sucked back in on hate whatever it is that gets you in there all the time and mostly it's [ __ ] anxiety and fear am i i mean tell me if i'm wrong tell me you don't feel the same way over how you were a while ago you're 100 right you're 100 right but here's my question is it us are we doing it to ourselves this is a natural function of being a person with too much access to information and you only concentrate on the bad stuff because you get all the news yeah the whole plan but you ever like somebody's picture and then suddenly you start seeing all their pictures way way more they're like oh he shows interest in this let's put it forth to him more it's the stuff that you're against it's the stuff that you're like i hate that guy he got his they're gonna put that more towards us so that's your world but it's also because that's what we concentrate on people in new york
maybe they can measure i know we're [ __ ] up as humans and they're they're using that to make us all less happy right but it's our own will like if we have will then it's the will we have to like collectively agree to stop communicating like that sure i think they should but in the meantime they're making sure you see wait remember when fox news and msnbc was still one-third anti-news and one-third of two there's pronouns and then up for war and then the other way for the other network just to push people slightly into thinking the war is good or bad right right that's they're showing us they're not showing us everything all at once like it used to be you just see your feed if you post it i saw your thing if you post it 10 times i see your 10 things in a row now they don't show everybody everything right and they're mostly showing you the stuff they know is gonna make you mad jealousy about your friends doing [ __ ] but wait a minute other people looking better than you so when these girls are looking online they're seeing these girls that look hotter than them there's more showing than that than the normal pictures which is just them sitting down with their brother right but ari it's because that's what people engage with it's not [ __ ] up they're taking advantage of it i i agree they know they're doing it now before before philip morris knew about the cancer they weren't doing anything wrong once they knew about the cancer and then they covered it up at that point you're killing people you're doing terrible things you're taking away our happiness okay so do you suggest in new york they're looking they were all on the same liberal side and everyone's looking for an enemy all the time it's like what you said about those girls who watch the [ __ ] crime show they think crimes all around them and they're only showing us the [ __ ] horrible things way more percentage this is the ceo of instagram and what they said in a senate subconscious okay it says we want people to have meaningful control over their experience we've been experimenting with favorites a way for you to decide whose posts you want to see higher up and we're working on another option to see posts from people you follow in chronological order
that don't take photos of their [ __ ] no they left that part out and we're working on another chance to talk about this briefly today it's important to me the people have meaningful control over their experience and i believe a place where you can see everything from the accounts you follow in chronological order is an important thing yeah that's good yeah and that's how it used to be that's how it used to be output you know what i mean two days ago is something that will pop up and i'm like that's oh oh what they're trying to do is encourage engagement right is it bad because it makes you more addicted like what is what yeah listen if their engagement is like hey this is a great service come on all you want you know it's netflix or if it's like spotify even or something like that it's like do you like this service well here it's here for you use it as much as you want use it more fine but if they're pushing you to do stuff that's like damaging to you in order to get that then it's like no no now it's not fine now it's not just a better product that we're going for right now it's your [ __ ] experiment i mean to sell ads it's also it's like it's a it's there's one thing you feel like you can trick somebody eating food that's not healthy for them by a good commercial but it's another thing they're addicted you can't be a mother now without going on a mommy blog without going to mommy group to help raise your kid right i bet duncan's wife doesn't if you're if you're not like talking to your friends now online like you have to be to keep up as a parent maybe that's true i bet duncan's mom keeps it together i bet she's on there and then you're it's not just good stuff i bet she is that she's mommy blogging the mommy blogging part's good they still do good stuff question though like if they if they put out an instagram too and said like we're going to make some new changes to this new app do you think people would all migrate to the new app or just stay on the thing they've been using the whole time they have to make it like not not there anymore delete it yeah yeah say you have a year to switch over or whatever because like
uh like a video game can put out a new like people are addicted to the games and but the game dies until they put out a new version of it but you have to go buy the new version everybody has to buy it again and to get re-addicted they can't really put out new versions of these apps that everybody's addicted to they kind of just have to keep changing it yeah right right right while people are still using it yeah and that's or the business dies that idea could be smart though having a two and if you sign up for two everybody that signs up for instagram two that already follow you on instagram one switch is over following instagram for sure that'd be good or you could select starting from scratch perhaps like maybe they could give you an option yeah because it's just like the likes ended up that's what makes everybody commit suicide is it not getting enough comparing yourself to other people i also have a little bit but let me ask you this let's say i give ari the reigns to take over a social media platform what do you do different do you get rid of all the algorithms get rid of the algorithms i hate being treated like a [ __ ] wallet i hate we all sort of hate saying something out loud nice cigar and then i know i'm gonna get ads now for cigars right that's all fine i guess it's just for advertising but you're not changing my mood to do it yeah there's you want to hear something even weirder blair white told me that she had an app on her phone was it tick tock i don't know i think it was tick tock so she met this girl at the gym they were talking at the gym they didn't exchange phone numbers they didn't exchange texts then all of a sudden that girl showed up in her feed yeah and she said that girl had like you know 200 followers or something they know you probably have proximity oh yeah that's going to surprise me if your location is on they know i read something wild about how this works because they your phone is like a it's like a number it doesn't know it's who you are but it knows this number you're attached to
they can uh get the data from where your phone is at certain times so they assume where you're at from one to four am is probably at home so they find when you're at a place the most at 1 to 4am they can find out exactly where you live rather than know who you are based on other data and they know how to send you ads there for sleep number mattress then which is like bad but not terrible because it's not doing anything to you it's just treating you like a wallet you didn't sign but that's another level when it introduces you to someone that your phone was near yeah yeah for sure that's so creepy you get you you go to someone's profile and then within a day you're getting a text hey how are you been man i just thought about you yeah bro our phones are talking to each other oh yeah i mean this is what's happening yeah that is artificial intelligence involved for sure but i want to go back to this question like what what else would you do differently so you would get rid of the algorithms and i i do think as much as i like to think that the algorithms can be you could have willpower and just only look at interesting things and you get only interesting things in your feed i also know that there's a lot that's unrealistic it's a lot it's a lot of people that are susceptible to a lot of weird [ __ ] in life like that remember when they when they said you couldn't market cigarettes to minors anymore they stopped joe camel yeah yeah but like they were like hey that's not fair the defenses aren't up and you're going to dick them forever that's not fair but here's the thing if you like here's some issues like teenage girls yeah the uh they they have a lot of body image issues that come off of uh these instagram pages and thing so what would be the solution to that you can't stop them from posting their pictures right right and then girls are always going to compare and that's the thing about like body types and especially like with young girls like a lot of it is just a wild genetic roll of the dice yeah like you got lucky and you got this amazing body like that that does happen and for some girls it's like infuriating and it makes
them so jealous and it fills them with anxiety and also gives them like weird feelings about their own body and you're supposed to leave that up and then not think about it while you're at home after that for the next 16 hours constantly then there's the bullying they bully each other so like they'll pile onto one girl or another girl and they'll go after each other and they'll you know girls are exceptional bullying way better than us yeah so like that if that doesn't stop the emotional bullying stop when you get at least a guy's like i can't beat you up online but like the girls can do exactly what they do online for 16 hours a day this is the problem with social media and children it's like children are not designed for that you're designed to learn how to communicate and make friends with the group of people that are around you but then when you're sniping at each other late at night with like these evil text messages yeah groups hear what someone's so sad do you let your kids have them yeah it's a conversation we should have privately i honestly i'll tell you like how i regulate it but i i do right but i talk to my siblings i talk to cousins i think i don't have kids i think you're crazy if you let anyone under 18 have one of those i think it's nuts to let them have access to that no no no no no no there's no arguments just two arguments yes it's definitely dangerous and two if they don't do it and all their friends do it they feel like a [ __ ] outcast and a weirdo yeah i guess so it's gonna they're gonna it's gonna get into their lives anyway so what what do you think we should suggest start talking to each other get all the parents under class to be like guys we gotta get them off this you've all seen it so like you also gotta talk to the kids too you got to you can't keep them in the dark you go to talk to you later you got to talk to them about what's happening tell them show them their studies and stuff kids are smart now way smarter than we were i played a documentary for him i played that um uh social dilemma documentary for who for your kids i mean it's pretty obvious after you see it they put it in real terms yeah it
shows you what's going on it makes you think like what the negative aspects of this are you delete an app and then it's like it's back on and and suddenly like i don't want to get back on really yeah everybody like people say that all the time i deleted instagram and then it's like oh i guess i have it again i'm not saying they put it back on they just started doing it because they got bored when your phone came back on what are you saying no like you take instagram off your phone so you don't [ __ ] think about it all the time and then people like two months later i guess you know i'm not going to turn it back on yeah yeah it's uh here's the other thing you're getting together you're in a [ __ ] car and you're a passenger and you're driving somewhere and no one's talking yeah it's nice to look at it yeah sure absolutely it is that too it's just every time i check in on the cultural conversation people are more off the rails i have a little bit of a conspiracy theory that the push by media you know because i found it weird that media was covering that instagram's causing mental health issues and i thought to myself facebook owns instagram yeah and if they make it look like instagram's the naughty one that the kids shouldn't be on and facebook always plays to a little bit of an older crowd it's an older app right then it makes it look like facebook is the lesser of two evils meanwhile they own everything making instagram look well you could be on facebook as long as you want but instagram only an hour a day you sound like conspiracy theorists i mean i'm just i'm keeping an eye on i keep it i don't know but they're not doing it right there needs to be some sort of regulation or something it's it's it's it's i don't know i don't know why we'll let you have kids like the the i i see what you're saying and uh i want i think we're moving in a general direction of uh connectivity that's gonna be very uncomfortable yeah and i don't think it's avoidable i think at this point we've we've passed any
markers that would indicate to me that we're we have any indication that people are interested in slowing down that people are interested in reversing course small groups of people like it's almost like we're sliding towards the edge of a cliff and small groups of people like you know i think i'm gonna get off the raft and i'm gonna go over here and i'm gonna just like plant tomatoes i'm not gonna i'm not gonna ride this thing off the rails but a lot of people are just gonna ride it right off the cliff yeah like most people are just going to ride it right off the couch yeah and the people that leave are like why aren't you guys all good enough yeah but it's bad you're also it favors a world where you just speak a response without thinking yeah it's like come on you read the headline weigh in so like all conversations almost meaningless it's just like it doesn't favor what you want to teach your children like think about stuff make an informed decision now it's like i read this here's my reaction it's a lot of virtue signaling one thing that i uh noticed during uh the chaos that i went through a few months ago is that the tweet that happened there was more quote tweets than retweets so everybody's taking this thing that looks bad and giving their opinion on it like this there's no excuse in the world and the ones everybody sees more than negative ones so you see like oh i guess everybody has i should do it too if i don't say anything they're gonna they're gonna think that i find this acceptable yeah and then you're seeing everybody think something's terrible or terrible or whatever is terrible we've been given this extraordinary ability to communicate with each other without any understanding of what the effects of it are and how how to use it correctly how to manage it i mean other classes on like what's the best at way to communicate with people online where you could teach people what's the best way they should be interacting in schools if that's the way it's going to be you have to teach them how to understand the anxiety of someone criticizing you online or the anxiety of someone embarrassing you online because
there's there's certain things that happen to kids like that that i think are [ __ ] devastating my my concern is that this is a cliff that we're flying on but it's not just this part of about it it's the the the nature of technology getting intertwined in your life in an inescapable manner and it's happening it's happening to the point where we're going to be reliant completely on some kind of technology and it's it's one step towards us integrating yeah we're going to biology and electronics will be there'll be there's a there's going to be a complete symbiosis that's going to happen in our life and the problem with that obviously is it's terrible but like they've asked you know how you're a different person from different people yeah so like the way we talk to each other is different than yeah that's the most fun thing about having a comedian friend exactly you look around like damn i'm glad you heard that yeah i ran into ari today at the coffee shop that i go to every day here in austin coincidentally and i'm like hey dude you know this is what it would be like if we ran into each other if you lived here in austin and without any hesitation he just tapped me right in the dick and balls i immediately flopped down and sat next to him and i noticed you know other people are looking like wow and whatever that just was completely natural i'm like what do you want you want a coffee or something yeah you're like you're right to do it i left myself open to it yeah i think that [ __ ] posting and all the mean stuff that people do online is almost inevitable with the human animal i mean we're some kind of wild primate right we're just a higher level of of primate but i also think unlike all the other animals we can sort through things and see a problem and offer a solution and i think a solution that can be offered you're not gonna stop people from using social media you're not gonna stop people from using phones but you can tell them how to do it yeah you could tell people like look the way people communicate online in such a mean nasty way that you wouldn't do in person that is a weakness it's a weakness it doesn't mean what you think it means does it mean
what they're saying but it's a weakness of you're if you're doing that that's a weakness yeah and that's not how human beings are supposed to communicate with each other it's a base like it's a real like um quick to do thing where it's not like well like a lot of the mean things that people say i bet if you gave them time to think about it like they probably wouldn't say it right you really mean without it if you were in the but in those impulsive moments where they just want to say something mean and that's what it favors the quickest response so that's the nastiest like it's also us it's us being able to communicate without the normal boundaries of like the social intimacy of being so close that you can hear somebody if you're talking to somebody you're supposed to be able to hear them talking right back so you're not allowed to have this like hey this is just for some people you have to have real integrity to take the behavior that you only exhibit when people around you and extend that to your digital life and most people don't do that most people they'll act like a real piece of [ __ ] in their digital life if you know that no one knows it's you yeah absolutely you know like people love to do that and troll and recon and then and they also expose you to stuff that you would never like the people mad at chappelle's like you know you supposed to see this you guys are never the audience like you weren't even supposed to be presented this in front of you there's definitely people that get mad and they have a point you know they're only giving it to you because they know you're gonna hate it it's just people that would never would have saw it otherwise and they can't fathom what comedy is that's not true he's one of the greatest comedians i know but those people were just not people i want to watch not trans people those people that got mad the woksters yes specifically specifically were never supposed to be the audience they were never like yeah you guys are never going to get it get out of here stumbling on it themselves is different than being told by your own people that this is bad you're gonna hate this yeah like that's your introduction for me oh he's not like hey he's a very funny
comic please welcome one of the greats not that just but i was gonna hate this what i was gonna say is there's definitely people that are going to be upset whether they're right or wrong yeah and they want to have a conversation with it that's great but there's also people that take advantage of a moment and they're grifters and those people take advantage of a moment they expand on whatever he said and make it sound way worse than it really was it was really like kind of almost like a love letter to his friend who died yeah you know was it historically accurate like was it like he's trying to make it funny right yeah tell him jokes obviously yeah also he's an artist you can do whatever the [ __ ] yeah and i'm sure you know i mean it's funny it's a funny [ __ ] story it's not transphobic it's not so if you say like having a conversation about someone like is that's a phobia of that person like we going to do with that with everything are we just going to do that with some things you know we're going to do that with all genders and all races and all is everything going to be off limits to talk about it so what are what is off limits what stuff what stuff specifically nothing it's up to the artist to figure out what he wants to talk about you can just not like it you could be like i didn't like this version or whatever there's a thing about the chappelle special they don't really generally talk about what he actually said no they're not quoting anything they're they're quoting their memories of a headline that they already heard well they're they don't they've never even seen it calling it transphobic but there's not like a bit that gets singled out where people say oh that line and most of that will be out of context anyway but there's not a bit like do you remember when um sam kinnison there was a lot of uh controversy with kennison when he was coming up and dice clay in particular like in and dice clay got banned off of snl snl mtv that's right because didn't you do like
period jokes or something uh pope the pope no no no no no sorry that was shannon o'connor did the pope and they didn't want her on dice was like something terrible yeah yeah something awesome they banned him for life yeah of mtv i think he cursed i think he no because you could curse on him tv no it was like what did he [ __ ] rolly stone andrew dice clay banned for life [Laughter] 1989 okay this is uh i was a year into comedy i had a point i mean i've lost my people he went ahead and debuted two of his famous dirty nursery rhymes including rock a bite baby on the treetop and your mother's a [ __ ] i ain't your pop and said two of george carlin's seven dirty words you can never say on television for good measure oh he went in with a [ __ ] plan to piss these people off of course nice he's diced clay let me ask you a question though that chappelle thing all these people thinking at chappelle yeah why do you think you heard so much about a tiny tiny amount of people who were saying that because it's an interesting conversation everybody else it's gossip it's almost nobody and you hear tons about it it's the most famous comic on the planet yeah it's uh a red-hot social issue that's in the news every day and so you're more interested in that than the 99 of people you hear more about that than 99 of people who go like yep another great [ __ ] funny special you don't hear that they push this [ __ ] in front of you yes instead of that's just so now you're thinking there's this attack going on and it's just not a and then everybody's weaning it and everyone starts to feel something about something that's the [ __ ] that should be illegal they're making everything you see is curated to make you the maddest right but i see that chapel [ __ ] too i'm like what the [ __ ] and i'm like they got me again i shouldn't even know they're mad but they're doing things that'll get people to pay attention right they're writing articles that'll get people to pay attention their outrage is directed at getting people to pay attention because that's where the money is yeah the money is the more the more people
read the article the more money it generates gia tolentano wrote a jezebel and she said people used to get mad at me for the articles i wrote not knowing i was instructed by my editor to write articles that would make people upset like i would have an issue with that this is why if you have a name your name is ari shafir and you write an article and that article pisses me the [ __ ] off and then i read an article about you later and this article is different this article is just you being you like you should almost do it under a different name or like there's a bubble of everything you do well if you you i mean if you're gonna be it's if it's just a little art project because that's what it is plays music like he does a separate thing from his normal thing he can still go by woody allen no no no all right no this is totally different because if it's something that you don't want your reputation associated with in an opinion then maybe use a pen name oh yeah okay totally sure sure you should be allowed to be yourself somehow well yeah but that's if you're being told i want you to piss people off but that's not your honest intent like what you would want to do so when you're writing it you're not really writing it as you're writing it as a it's a job right you're looking at it as like a thing you're going to pretend you're a dick about something you're going to pretend you're outraged about something you're going to piss people off you're going to say something a little over the edge outrageous or just tell me about something i already someone else did yeah you're reporting these stories like oh so-and-so is the worst not just did something a little wrong so-and-so is the worst cause it's getting you mad it's getting mad isn't he terrible here's what else he did but instead of like you know the new york times story leaving out all the consensual stuff if if you are um a person who's a writer and you have a name like if your name's alright fear and i know that when i read an irish fear column i'm going to get his thoughts and
his feelings but if you're bullshitting because you're editors you're going to pay to be paid to you should probably have an extra name from that yeah it's [ __ ] it's not real journalism or anything but like yeah yeah it's gross but it's not is it journalism it's editorialism right yeah probably it's like journalism is stores these are just like it's part of it is their take on things but also so those negative ones are what you're gonna end up you're when you and me are gonna end up seeing more of so that we just get a version of the world that everybody's hateful and angry at each other you don't say they're 99 of you ever get mad at a comic for like what they took that stance online and then you go like i haven't seen any of their like joke jokes though in like a long time so why are they showing me this one because they're like oh that one pissed off tony let me show it to ari and jai but they'll be pissed off with it too yeah there's definitely that but there's also like the network of people that you follow they'll start sharing things and then you'll start finding things and we we gravitate towards towards the negative for sure yeah you believe this person said this we love truth it gets pushed forward we live in that world now yeah and lingering over something feels like it would be more of a negative thing sometimes than a positive thing right you know what i mean because you're staring at something dumbfounded like if a comedian who i'm not that close with says something stupid and some weird political take yeah i do find myself reading it like 15 times you know i try to find it now by going hey that's a comedian i'm sure i could find something funny like what were they meaning maybe they weren't being although the social stuff is like i mean it really is a little weird though you know both la and new york i mean you can admit it is sort of crazier than ever what's going on out there especially with comedians yeah yeah it's like what are you doing here yeah are you weighing you know something you're a [ __ ] top shelf writer in the world right and you're weighing in seriously on a subject it's been freaking me out
for a while well they feel like it's part of the job of like you know having these conversations with the people in your tribe to let everybody know you should keep working with me because i am on the right page yeah i am there with you and i am a proponent of social justice every agency every agency in hollywood sent letters to their [ __ ] clients saying hey after george floyd like we here at caa we're here at william morris we're here at it yeah we we stand for social justice we've always had wow [ __ ] black clients and [ __ ] like that uh you should know that if you're with us you're on the right side of history they all [ __ ] did that yeah because you have to at that moment go home not me though right well there was a [ __ ] fever pitch in the air god and so that everybody does that every once in a while you fall prey to it online and you post a tirade you ever see a multi-part tweet yeah yeah you're like i can't get this all in like you know it you know we have to take into consideration we're really fortunate that we have podcasts because in a podcast you can express yourself in the exact way you would in any other way in real life still yeah you're right but still it's rushed you see everybody you ever see podcast clips where it's like six of the same story so and so and so and so we're fighting and then you see like schulz and dylan godfrey and like a bunch of like oh you all have a reaction to this because they're all trying to like let me get our reaction quick nobody stops and thinks about it you know henry it's things to talk about yeah i know but you know henry rollins said like i take six months before he starts writing about stuff he likes to set in his mind right valuing the opposite of that if you get a if you have a [ __ ] i don't know houston [ __ ] whatever take now it's like now who cares right he's like well i've had a month to think it out and you're like nah nobody cares anymore it values the quick response and that's the world we're in now that's that's what's getting to us all the time quick response don't take time something about
for some reason i'm wired that if you do it live or with friends or in front of a live audience it's the opposite because like when we were at skankfest when astral world happened we were in this city that it happened in i was still in bed with one eye open reading about this tragedy that happened in the city that i'm in realizing that it's a comedy festival and i haven't gone first at noon and i am first first place yeah they're waiting for you and so i was working out these extra world jokes by 4 p.m it's solid yeah see that right there is the difference between a comedian and a regular person yeah and that's one of the reasons why people hate us i hate it meanwhile everyone in skank fest they're like yes they did it and they show it to people out of there they're like too soon i'm like yeah for you right not for you i do know my audience it ain't you meanwhile yeah there at skank fest it is what are the odds why tragedies down this street it's like houston's they felt so blessed because it's like yeah we are the people that laugh at tr are not laughing tomorrow is like a joke about tragedy what's wrong with you guys that we haven't had one death here taylor whatever swift dude whatever show us up yeah taylor swift dude whatever name is what's his name travis scott yeah this is the worst take on astroworld the world has ever known for sure it was a tragedy how many people died nobody we know is the answer what if they weren't no we would have heard by now yeah how many people died five to eight i'm not 100 sure died you can't do that we're having a good time we're gonna put water on this fire right now ten ten people died i got double digits that's not bad that's a ruckus that guy brings the vibe yeah that's it that is truly a ruckus your [ __ ] shrinks in the air like it's a liquid spraying everywhere so what was the cause of the did people get trampled did people get pushed to the ground like people were being dosed they said also was it a bunch of stuff they
were saying jamie's that was a crazy rumor that someone was running around injecting people with uh with drugs oh wow yeah i heard that but i was like what did i do with the trampoline but the rumor went far because i think the sheriff's actually reported that they're a security guard right had to be yeah get narcan right that he got a shot in the neck but now there's a security guard when they asked him and said actually i got punched or something like that like oh interesting i do know security guards often say when they're at festivals that they got somebody does them so they can get off work and they get to go join the concert interesting yeah hey man somebody sprayed ass on me i'm sorry but let me see how i feel in 20 minutes just so you know it's like hey it's like alright get out of here work tomorrow security guard is a weird job because you're not a cop but you want to be one you kind of want to do one and a lot of them act like they uh they i that's why i understood i first understood that the relationship that cops have often to other people is that there's us versus them thing because the the security guards all bonded together because there was like occasionally there were fights and occasionally things were were physical they got like real physical yeah i watched quite a few security ufc great woods when i was a security guard i was a security guard for uh a few years at a performing arts center in a mall i don't know what's happening it was a concert center oh okay they hired all these black belts from my taekwondo school so the security was like four or five black belts from my taekwondo school and then all these real professional security running after hundreds of people i didn't chase after anybody disaster world people piling out oh my god this was earlier in the day the fence this happened in multiple places oh my god this is hard and no one knows in the back they're pushing on to people dude this is terrible this is horrible this led to like later in the night that guy's trying to help people people there not enough people to like crowd
control certain areas oh my gosh oh my god those people are stepped over and over again they can't get up [ __ ] oh so what we used to do is uh we had to stop people from bringing in liquor so one of the things that we did was as we were waiting for people to come in uh we would have to check their bags and they all were trying to stow away liquor so we'd find like bottles of expensive wine we had to take it all so we had barrels of booze i'm not kidding to go home with like yeah we all we all split it up all the security people they gave it to us so you had like barrels of wine coolers and [ __ ] you know who's that one guy um that famous uh singer dave matthews uh bald head but all the women love him old older guy god damn it do you just call out my name neil simon what the [ __ ] is it no no john no no no no no god damn it oh james james yeah james taylor yeah yes he so he would play and girls would they wouldn't talk to your 18 kids they would be wine dude i'll bring wine and everything we'd steal their wine you can't take this in 1930 sorry sorry you're not supposed to bring it and so they they'd be they could either go home or they would could give up the wine and they would have bottles just giant dumpsters imagine how boring it is watching james taylor live sober yeah so the other thing i brought in just wine the other thing we have to do is we'd have to make sure that things didn't go haywire and that's the day i quit the day i quit is uh there was a concert um a neil young concert and they started fires wow and so there was a whole lawn area it was kind of cold out so these people just decided to start fires and they were throwing like you know they had like boxes and stuff and throwing at gasoline it was wild there was fire so they caught they stopped the concert i stopped the concert and there was like physical fist fights and i always carried a hoodie because i had my big security shirt on but as soon as [ __ ] went down i'm like zipped up that hoodie i'm getting the [ __ ] out of here god yeah i'm like literally getting
any street fights with you [ __ ] it for twenty dollars an hour or whatever i'm getting i'm gonna fight some drugged up neil young fan who's got a [ __ ] motorcycle jacket on no like what are we doing here i'm not doing this he's not going to go out by the rules of jiu-jitsu yeah i'm not a cop i was like i'm just supposed to steal people's booze dude i was hanging out in bonnaroo with one of the security guards for comedy and the promoter sam and we uh and we were just like oh where can we get some molly this hour because oh us all i see the security guards it was just like gold stock up on seized drugs and go have a [ __ ] great time it's awesome security guards at those places probably all sell drugs oh yeah probably i'm off i'm going to turn a profit everybody sells drugs at those things i mean like i feel like that would be wasted uh you know money if you didn't do it like if if anybody would sell drugs like especially good drugs you ever get take something taking the css some tsa and they're like they're like hey we gotta take this knife and you're like hey it's a good one can you please like use it i get it you have to take it but like i want you to use it like it's a good thing yeah it depends on who's taking that knife though you might look it's one guy like [ __ ] you never use it you know send it to my house come on give it to the other one i'm gonna take a later flight give me my [ __ ] knife back yeah dude one time me and uh soda were going into uh i think outside lands and uh he had these just come from denver had these joints that were shaped like cigarettes with the brown tips in the bottom so it looks like that means just and he puts it in a cigarette case four joints nice perfect yeah go in there take a kiss or whatever and he goes oh no you can't bring cigarettes in here oh like what and then i was like right behind a long security line and i was like well can we just smoke one before we go in and the guy's like you have to wait in line again like [ __ ] [ __ ] and soda just gave up he was like fine no i don't need the
cigarettes how come he can't smoke cigarettes there i guess it was a no cigarette rule there oh outdoor though right throws in the garbage and i'm like [ __ ] and then he's searching me and i'm like whatever i don't have anything he came from we came right from montreal he stopped by his house and then he's like go ahead and i just walked by i just walked by the trash can and just chill my hand at it picked up the [ __ ] cigarettes like make a [ __ ] move he's not gonna kick me out he'll tell me to just [ __ ] and then dance like it was so perfect he saw it he was too far away and he was like i was starting to hope you would and then right when you pass it is like the guy wasn't looking anymore all right which clutch yeah one of my greatest dude one of my greatest clutch moves saved it we both cried listen very clutch i'm sure the word probably got out and people snuck stuff in somewhere yeah you're doing your shoe you tape it right next to your deck bottom of your shoe oh you're on your dick you just got saran wrap you wrap your dick with the joints that sheath underwear is actually quite good at smuggling because it's got a ball pouch yeah so you just you keep it in there it won't fall through boxers are the worst underwear the best right it really is it has a pocket there how many yeah you could how many joints do you think you could wrap around your dick and then saran wrap it before it didn't feel like you're taking that ever is anybody ever like do you have anything in your balls come on sir there's clearly something here what is this obviously what if you just explained that it's a splint to help enlarge your penis yeah and that you wear it 24 hours a day and you have to or the process has to start over don't do this to me dude don't do this it's just a splint it's a penis blend if you ever look at it online penis splint they stretch your penis out sir nobody wants to google that in front of you yeah they do's do that though there's dudes that stretch their dick out like they they literally like grab the tip of their dick and a device and pull on it or they put weights on
their dick to over time stretch it out over time that doesn't work well if you go to africa and you see those naked ladies and you see how their boobs are flapping and hanging low like that because that's what happens when things get pulled on when gravity pulls on that's why girls wear bras you get it that's why ari's ball sink sag they haven't taken lower and lower he he doesn't have the proper underwear to support his [ __ ] so gravity keeps pulling on it gravity can do that to your dick too apparently i don't know about that why would your dick not go all down also this is real i am not bullshitting there are guys who have apparatuses strapped to their dick and they they crank on it and it like lengthens sort of is your big dick bigger now than when you were like 16 17 so when you were fully grown good question mine is over time maybe it does maybe it does all that pulling on it you're always pulling on the [ __ ] thing yeah is this something about blood flow there yeah but also what if you can increase the size of it by pulling on it like that it doesn't have to change the amount of muscle and tendon on the inside you got a muscle in your dick true i get what you're saying but what about those necks that's the thing that's okay who stretched their neck did you imagine if there was a dick machine at gold's gym the line's just out the door i did wipe it down before the next guy can we please get more than one of these machines that would be like no other questions being used are you so vain you use the dick machine everyone's going to use the job machine i wouldn't i wouldn't well there's no line right now they just put a new one like what is the machine that girls always use at the gym oh that donkey kick one for sure when they have like their their butt up in the air and they throw kicks backwards you know you push against like a weight thing you ever seen that talking to the wrong guy you know they do this kind of [ __ ] yeah to get their butts going yeah girls love that one right that's when girls do the last time i was at a gym was sober october three years ago
you got ripped i should have kept it going i was hoping you're going to keep it going there's a lot we talked you into yeah it's a lot of work it's called life what a good answer i thought what yeah exactly i thought we talked you into a lifetime of fitness after that but nope or not right back to the slovenly ways maybe it was a moment of like maybe i should do that i'm just like done no way so much easier to not do it i get funny though because you were so competitive you were you're so into it while it was happening yeah you were very formidable yes you put in some good i pushed you a little put in some good numbers yeah i would do it at night when everybody was asleep and they wake up tonight [ __ ] laughing anxiety look at this penis stretcher see top four four the best ten penis extenders can i break in right now that that photo on the left see that bottom left the the cartoon but i got flagged for sexuality posting something like that a cartoon look what this says four out of ten best penis extender stretchers that impressed me as a user this is a guy that definitely used a pen name it says irvine weekly so that's like that irvine newspaper oh my god yeah that's hilarious how to find the best device for yourself brand partner content yep that's a key one uh-huh okay so it's an ad finding the best penis extender can feel like a navigating a puzzling maze don't say it like you already like it's a given article no none of us have thought about this before yeah hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on in this penis extender review you'll find a personal testimonial based on many years of experience using different penis enlargement devices this guy's a pervert oh wow many years of experimenting on dick pulling how dare he how dare he write this article and just suddenly throw that in there what if you
found once one worked wouldn't that be it that would be it was over with this product why would i ever take a second without using it he's like no no no now we need a girth machine oh the deluxe is 349. jamie buy five can you please get one five can you please get quick extender pro prices and uh find out the updated prices and maybe there's a co you know use find if there's a coupon code this one's the only fda approved one oh the fda got involved they must be making money yeah they're making money on dick size it was a classic the fda approved this and not the vaccine the fellows remember remember when uh viagra first came out it rocked the [ __ ] country would you trust a german penis extender ari i would if they didn't know is going to me look at is that thing to cut the balls what's the thing in the bottom is that the gripper that's a speculum there's so much metal there that's bothering me oh and then you slowly pull it out like oh jesus that metal yeah that's metal that should be right plus dick that should be rubbed ouch no reason to have that metal that looks like creepy places a girl finds out skinny or well this skinny finds that in a cabinet somewhere like what is this just like oh that's a uh go back right there that's how it works look that thing grabs the balls and pushes it away that's gonna extend your balls though no everything everything gets stretched out dude you pump it up like a [ __ ] barber chair ooh you push down on it yikes yeah it's new year's eve noisemaker right there it's like a milking device it is i'm going to order five of those for the next time i'm here milking dicks getting your dick to grow shane and mark we're gonna have a time in our lifetime where this like giga chad this is this is just for this particular one oh yeah nevermind what is this guy saying though it took me a pretty long time to figure out how to create a velocity and fort version is incredibly comfortable but some stretching of the penis with
the help of a strap which created tension in the structure failed to achieve significant results like what a weird way to talk about stretching your dick also the next one's incredible i found the fellows and forte plus construction somewhat uncomfortable and even unsafe if your penis is more than six inches wide it's like dude if your penis is more than six inches wide what are you doing stretching it you already won i think you did it dude yeah imagine if there's a group of guys out there with dicks just like those crazy stripper ladies with like triple f tits yeah they did they just can't stop getting their their boobs done bigger if there's guys like that with dicks constantly you can safely safely use it while sleeping what you're gonna sleep with a robot blowing you that's terrible this is awful this is the future this is our future whoa oh my god that looks like that looks like it makes a noise if you squeeze those shoulders you should just google do you come when you use your penis extender is your google search am i the only one that google that that phrase let's see what happens [Laughter] it's just got to be a bunch of guys on a forum dedicated to well the the penis extender that makes you come the hardest you're going to reach just somebody from the industry leader is going to reach out to you the industry leader and penis extenders which one got fda approved if there was something that that could make your dick grow like that my goodness how would we not know about it well i remember that joke that i used to do about if if dick pills were real it'd take about 30 seconds after the event before the first guy died of an overview i was filling up on it because no one's gonna just take one yeah like how many you go how many gonna be a stroke how many i'm gonna take one less than that guys carrying around their dick with shopping carts yeah the women evolved because the guy's dicks got so big women's vaginas had to grow accordingly
because guys wouldn't stop growing their dicks which over time happy jihad i said that like guys with big dicks and chopping cars would chase women up to the top of cliffs and they would leap off the cliff like flying squirrel [ __ ] people because their vaginas would be so big from the giant this is basic science [Laughter] there's i mean there's like weird uh rolls of the dice in the world but one of the weirdest rolls of the dice in the world for a guy is your dick size mm-hmm yep like you could just have a tiny dick and there's god not a damn thing you can do it you know guys that are concerned about the smallness of their dick like overly concerned they talk about it more than anybody yeah it's weird yeah it's weird it's what's a weird like comedy thing right there used to be a comedian i'm not gonna name his name but he would close by saying my name's thanks so much that's my time i'm blah blah i have a big deck that's right and i always thought to myself he must have the smallest deck he must have a small dick or he has a big dick and he's getting he's advertising out there that's right that's all right i got a big dick we have an answer and listen how it's read once again oh can i have an orgasm while using a penis pump once again this will depend on the person exclamation point is there an exclamation point what the [ __ ] are you doing because are you a cheerleader he's answering his own questions emphatically you will certainly have you were certainly able to have an orgasm once the penis pump has been removed although it may take longer than usual due to your increased stamina sure oh something like that they were able to come while their penis pump is still in the tubes simply from the intense sucking in quotes sensation which they experience whether or not you'll be able to do this depends on how pleasurable you find the experience of using the pump so go ahead and give it a try it's amazing should we do like a sober october thing and we all try to see which one of the three of us can extend our penises the most oh my god imagine
if one of us ripped our dicks we had to go to the emergency room oh my god that'd be great that'd be great next week these are gross adults these are grown adults take them off spotify take that down hey what happened that walkout on spotify young [ __ ] employees did you go back to work [ __ ] idiots i mean if you're coming from the sucking of your penis enlarger then you have bigger problems than your small penis well no what if you like just say okay before i use this penis enlarger i'm not even gonna look at my dick for like six weeks yeah i'm not gonna beat off at all i'm just gonna pee and go to sleep wash it when i have to and and be honest about it no grabbing it and holding on to it before before and then use the penis pop you would want to measure your horn you'd want to measure in your ice box the first time why would you do that why did you jerk off it off like no sex no jerking off for like six weeks and then use the penis pump you'd probably be so horny oh yeah crazy loaded yeah maybe then six weeks i mean jesus yeah you put on your pants you're gonna you ever seen look at me weird when animals [ __ ] dude animals [ __ ] like this ready yeah that's it and it's over that's how they do it we we take our time we have lovemaking it's sensual we take in we enjoy it it's animals are trying not to get eaten they just dive on each other [ __ ] real quick and run for the top of the trees right yeah when you see monkeys [ __ ] they're not they're not taking a lot of time they're not making love no they're not sticking a thumb in the butt they're and they're not it's no foreplay i think monkeys and chimps are the only ones who do it for fun though see a monkey spitting another monkey's mouth what do we just witness they're mimicking the humans they're evolving she smacks him in the face he smiles while he's [ __ ] her [Applause] touch one of these to me the most disturbing thing in nature is when chimps eat monkeys that's the most disturbing out of all the things i've ever seen in nature
documentaries i get all of them i get a lion killing a gazelle it all makes sense when the crocodile takes out the wildebeest it makes sense yeah but when you see a chimp eating a monkey because they look too related whoa why they look so related they don't just look related they look like they know that that that little monkey's screaming and looking at him trying to push him away and oh yeah and they're eating them alive they eat them alive whoa why they don't give a [ __ ] they don't give a [ __ ] to the monkey screaming they got them they got them so they're going to eat them wow bro chicken why just because they're a food because they're like food too close david attenborough i believe was the first guy to catch that on film i think so see if that's true so they they did this uh back then they used to think of chimps as being you know we thought of chimps we always thought of them as like you know they eat fruit they eat a banana they they swing around we never thought of them as being like relentlessly violent right when you were kids yeah pictures little bananas and stuff like people like people sidekicks on tv shows right yeah you like there was a show called bj and the bear and the bear was there baby monkeys brains first a clue to human evolution oh god wait is that a baby is that a new one look at that they're eating the baby monkey brain first oh my god oh my god he goes right for the head to eat the brain he looks so casual he's having such a good time so casual just ripping it apart and the strength those things have is just preposterous the strength that chimp has we want to think it's like relative to like their size like what's happening here what's happening here a baby monkey and the other what's the other monkey what's the one on the left is that his body that's the mom running away oh it's like sorry does she have any more in her back no she's just running away man she'll get killed look at the shape of her body i think that's her other foot bro you got that thing in the way what happened yeah i think that's her other foot isn't it what is that yeah
it's a foot up backwards it's like she just leaves yeah it's just yeah she's in the middle of a full leap that's what it is oh [ __ ] man that is so wild chimpanzee captures champions he captures a young call of this monkey during a hot damn yeah it's always those columbus monkeys that you see the videos of is that squirrel monkeys i don't know those are so cute they're cute little monkeys and these chimps they do it intelligently they corral them like they have them on the ground and they run down on the ground like making a lot of noise and the other ones get up in the trees and they like funnel them together and then they attack them they get them into like and they'll for sure get one sometimes they throw them to the ground is this david attenborough young dude yeah yeah so uh this i believe this was if i want to say i want to say this was in the 90s am i in there with him yeah yeah he's in there with them david hombre was the most beloved person in the world uh he films these chimps and he's you know getting a chance to see them behave and act in the wild in a way that very few people ever do and photograph with beautiful cameras so here he is he got a chimp and he's like they're just eating it alive you've seen it he's like wow back up so you see it's screaming like look at it oh these chips are just so all these champs are excited no it's not quite yes it is that's an organ by the time it's finally dead but they're just eating it guts first oh it's just and now they got another one i got a piece there of it bro bro that's that's us see this is the thing we came from that yeah so you can't let them have social media they'll be even worse to each other dude nature's metal just posted one of a grizzly bear killing a brown bear cub like chasing it down and it's like blood all over them just to like have more mates nature's so hard well it's not just that it's food they uh they come out of the dens hungry and uh apparently they're pretty sure that some bears at least go looking for cubs for as a food source so it's not
just about breeding it's just about eating cubs and then maybe also about forcing the female into estrus because she doesn't have to take care of the baby to get back in yeah the females that's what nature's middle side it's it'll [ __ ] it'll make the women go like kind of like just to kill my son but i need to [ __ ] but bears are different in that they eat them they're like they're looking to eat like a lion kills cubs the lion's probably not gonna eat the cubs i don't think yeah okay look at that chase first i was like oh this is awful this is awful kill the cubs oh my god oh jesus christ rug now it's so ruthless and he eats it look at him he's eating it just tearing it apart and eating it i mean it's weird how we are taught his kids that like these animals are cute like winnie the pooh is a [ __ ] bear and he walks around anywhere in real life and no pants and oh they like honey and oh the lion king oh what is that someone got bit damn dude that's not gonna be that's i think he's been using that that's a black bear and he probably got attacked by what does it say there oh it's a finnish brown bear torn up by a rival bear yeah oh looks like oh it says it says you might be thinking it looks like a black bear and while the color might look very similar to one finland doesn't have black bears interesting even if they did color and size can be misleading and not a reliable and advocate reliable and identifying features when trying to distinguish between a brown bear and a black bear this bear has a shoulder hump a distinct brown bear feature oh interesting they get warned all the time on instagram too like computer nature's metal gruesome but it's like yeah by design you should no one's seeing this but it's also it's can i say can i get access to this information remember when all this was supposed to arab spring and change the world say whatever so dissent do it also that's life that's real life yeah that's real life that's educational yeah we shouldn't be shielded from that part of nature we can't have this distorted
perceptual what nature is i mean if you like cute things you're just like oh i'm not following that the thing that gets me about the bears is i kind of think that's how it has to be because if you think about it if bears could just breed like crazy and spread out all throughout the land they would eat everything they're [ __ ] huge if they just didn't have any competition at all and they didn't kill and eat each other they're probably so many of them yeah because what's going to stop a bear and all they have to do is catch things and eat things they're really good at it so if there was like a little fight they catch moose they eat moose damn you know they catch them they run up to them they grab them and they eat them they eat whatever the [ __ ] they want so if there was like an overwhelming number of bears there was nature would be all out of balance so nature made the bears eat the bears that's what's so crazy is like there's a wild beautiful balance to the whole thing and if you don't see those nature's metal type videos then you don't you don't see the whole thing the whole like we look at it as cruelty because we don't want it to happen to our loved ones or to our pets yeah or to you know to anything that's cute we don't want that to happen but then we'll buy a chicken sandwich if there's a we'll go to chick-fil-a and get a spicy chicken it's delicious if every animal is in the world i don't want to see it that's all but like yeah exactly if every animal in the world if we had like you know like ufc one or ufc two like if we did it like bracket style right and every animal in the world had to fight who do you have winning everything tigers tiger tigers pizza grizzly bear wait hold on we're not talking about fish because then it's home court advantage yes like a whale yeah and a tiger could ever yeah it's where it is yeah unless it's on land and the orca would [ __ ] up the shark yeah yeah it's um it's a it's a big cat tiger over bear yeah being a tiger over a lion yeah oh interesting yeah bigger they're bigger a lot bigger yeah a large male type talk to us either
let's see what a large male 1 i want to say a large male tiger borders on like 1100 1200 pounds or i don't think a large lion does i think a large lion's like eight nine hundred pounds maybe even smaller those ones used to show us about the um the guys riding on the elephant and the lion knows the food is oh my god it's a tiger tiger just takes it knows the man is up on top of the elephant and tore the guy's arm apart the guy lost use of his arm i believe because the thing just slashed his [ __ ] arm open i mean they have razor blades for claws that are used to take out axis deer life getting worse you're a [ __ ] elephant herder [ __ ] just gets suddenly way worse i think they were probably hunters so the the cat size tigers are heavier weighing up to 800 pounds the line's 550. so yeah tigers are bigger but the two cats aren't so different in size here their profiles are superimposed oh interesting so they're similar size with the tigers that much heavier which must be muscles yeah hold on go back up there you might remember from high school health cuts that muscle weighs more than fat which helped explain the tiger's extra pounds so it seems that tiger would have a physical advantage over the line have they ever fought for sure for sure sure for sure people have done that if a tiger killed the lion with a single paw swipe the conor mcgregor of the ankara zoo was a phantom punch kill the lion with a single defense the tiger apparently found a gap in the fence and made its way to the lion's enclosure when they met the tiger severed the lion's jugular vein just one stroke wow oh my god oh my god well hold on what i've seen from tigers they seem to be more aggressive they go for the throat they go for the kill whereas lions are more i'll just pound you and play with you yeah cause they're like kittens yeah it's it's it's like the difference between a wolf and like my dog marshall [Laughter] it's just tigers are the kings that's
the real king of the jungle it's not a lion and they're pissed lions live in the savannas anyway by the way don't they do they live in the jungle they call them the king of the jungles are they actually in the jungle ask joe rogan about those i feel like lions are like they're they're a grasslands animal right lions don't actually live in the jungle the real habitat is the open savannah where they can hunt mammals such as gazelles antelopes and zebra they may also cooperate to catch larger mammals such as buffalo giraffes and even crocodiles yeah so that's a [ __ ] name the the tiger is the king of the jungle and they live in the [ __ ] jungle that's a really interesting tiger is the king of the jungle yeah that's like i've never heard that before there's an old man the tiger is the king of the jungle one documentary if you're into lions you have to watch it's called relentless enemies and it's about a particular group of lions that got trapped on an island with one food source that food source was buffalo the what they call black death these these big [ __ ] massive buffalo so all the lions grew so the female lions on this one island are as big as male lions everywhere else and they're jacked wow they look like that's the only way they could evolve to kill the buffalo they had to evolve to kill the buffalo so they're all super jacked and they're all eating buffalo so they're eating like the most dense protein meat and enormous quantities because you kill one it's like 1800 pounds or something like that so these these lions when you look at them they look off they look like a lion from a movie like what is what the [ __ ] is going on here because the females are [ __ ] jerked the females look like cyborg if she was a lion just running around [ __ ] chucked just angry it's a wild documentary man it shows you evolution it shows you natural selection what's it called relentless enemies see if you can find like a little clip of it we could see what the the female lines look like because female lines are usually sleek right because they have to run down these gazelles and stuff and catch them and they're very clever they work
together look at the size of that girl bro look at her muscles look at her [ __ ] muscles she's super jacked so these lions in there it's a really good documentary too because it's explained look at that picture right there that's a great picture the one your cursor is on jamie yeah yeah yeah because you get a sense look make that bigger look how [ __ ] determined he is oh my god it's a girl the [ __ ] physical the muscle in that thing i jumped a little early but still made the still made the grab the whole thing is just get a hold of back legs that's what they want they just want the back legs they want the back legs to trip you and then they they you know they fire you apart oh yeah they fight back hard they're the most dangerous animal to hunt in africa apparently because they kind of cause they come at you that's why they call them black death wow yeah they [ __ ] people up man look at those [ __ ] cool horns he has yeah africa has some awesome [ __ ] there man they keep going after each other ah those cats are what happened incredible it's incredible it's but it's it's incredible that this only happened god i want to say it was like a hundred years ago see what if it says when the river yeah something happened there was probably like some rain event or something like that and the river changed courses it like it changed its route and it made this one area an island and they got stuck there and so they all just figured out how to kill buffaloes like only buffalo damn the galapagos that's all i talked about is evolution oh my god cause swimming in iguana so like the only ones that knew how to swim made it over here they made it with the other ones who knew how to swim over here the few the freaks in the iguana world and then they all all those freaks started mating and now they all swim only there for sure though the romans must have
brought lions and tigers to fight to the death right yeah for sure they'd be crazy not to why would you not yeah i mean they'd be like mike tyson lennox lewis in their prime yeah why would you not you want to be the best in no time you want to see the best for the best of the animal world we want to see the best of the best of the human world yeah right drunk and night talking like but who would win against tiger versus a lion right oh we've always wanted to see who's the best when you watch a ufc you want to see like who is the [ __ ] best yeah who's the best for sure we feel like that with animals i mean think about rooster fights people have rooster fights they want to see whose rooster [ __ ] up the other rooster and they also want to see an upset imagine of a rooster do you want to see another killed a lion it would be very interesting just accurate booster pecking and it's you see a snake swallowing something way bigger than him yeah that's another thing i got banned for instagram they told me what i did a uh episode of skeptic tank with this guy who used to do uh rooster fights went to one was a kid in puerto rico just the the title of the thing like rooster fight guys night of the cockfights or whatever and they were like uh promoting animal harm oh god oh boy my old gardener used to do it my ulcer my fighting yeah my older gardener was bad i went to one and yeah he was the thing like man he lived in like there's parts of la where you go there yeah and it's mexico i mean they're all mexican immigrants and they they're all speaking spanish and there's [ __ ] roosters everywhere man it was crazy he had i'm not bullshitting like like a whole setup in his backyard where he had a ring where the roosters could fight the ring i did not see the fights i saw him he got some roosters together for me to see to show me how they do it i didn't see like where they're all throwing money down and betting i kind of see i have a [ __ ] false memory of like going by once and not going in i feel like i remember you telling me that i went but i didn't want to go in
this yeah there's a it's a weird memory i think that was real that was the early days of my weed smoking too i can't trust anything often times went over the edge i did not know how to like balance out my weed i would think things that i just get way too paranoid i probably did not want to go there oh more than a thousand [ __ ] fighting birds seized in la raid well thank god you're doing that not stopping all those smash and grabs right this was three years ago whatever come on dude i went to two of them in east timor i went to one and then went back it's so fun they're all screaming out holding up dollars who wants to bet who wants to bet i got white i got red and then you're just like all right let's go and they just like they kind of toss them at each other a little bit just to hold them and then they get them riled up like who the [ __ ] is this coming at me and then they let him go they tie a razor blade to one claw and then they fly each other and put the claws out and go like this and they don't even know they've got a [ __ ] slasher on their hand now and they're cutting each other and so yeah and so then but you don't even feel it until the next one's like all right let's go again let's go again one of them will just suddenly go like i'm gonna let's go ho ho ho and i'll just fall over wow and they're like it's over and everyone changes money it's so fun doesn't look brutal sometimes you barely see blood the thing is it's weird like why doesn't that bother me why doesn't it it bro some people but here's my my thing if it was dogs it would bother me yeah i can't i don't want that yeah i don't want to even see that yeah i i love dogs but i do know that some of those dogs that were raised to do that like pit bulls they're the best dogs some of the best dogs they are so loyal and so sweet and they love people they they do it because they almost fight because they want people's approval that's like training part they're trained to they're engineered to so it's a strange dog they're super intelligent man like pit bulls are really intelligent like they connect
with you they connect with you like they're your buddy in a weird way like it's an intensity that's uh you don't you don't get from a lot of other dogs they look you in the eye and their head is the same size as yours yeah and they're just like and they're [ __ ] sweet man like a good one that's raised well that's uh you know you have it since it was a puppy they're so sweet to people you just got to exercise it their reputation's back the reputation is there for the reason oh yeah yes they are they should be men they should be you you they're an aggressive dog if someone does a bad job training them yeah and you know and they're accustomed to getting into fights or someone in their bloodline right above a rescued attack dog even if it's just in their next generation up some are some hate kids some yes absolutely hate other dogs some hate uh postal people think that they have no problem squabbling that's the problem they'll fight in the middle of nowhere what why [ __ ] and they'll just [ __ ] knock over garbage cans and start going to war they're ready to fight like at a drop of a hat it's and they're engineered that way my dog is we didn't teach her to but it's predisposed to just any any chick and half the dudes on the street just going up to them and wagging her tail and then like licking their hand and everyone thinks they're special oh i'm like she never does that for anybody just sweet everybody what's my point about that about dogs that they're great oh no i know i know you yeah you don't want to see a dog fight but it's weird like i don't if like a fish kills a fish it doesn't bother me at all not at all i see an alpha monkey get eaten by a chimp freaks me out yeah you know yeah we have favorites in the animal kingdom and a little monkey little cute little monkey getting her eaten alive by a chimp where does cow verse calver's chicken this is the two most common who would you rather see get killed who would you rather you know if he's like chicken doesn't bother me at all me too
chicken i've been around chickens and they they're a little dinosaurs man they peck at your kids like my daughter she was two years old it was pecking at her feet and my wife was like i think it thinks her fetus would go no it's trying to eat her right it's trying to eat it this little this is not this is a little dinosaur yeah it's seen taking a chance see if he can eat you and if he can't eat you it's going to try to eat a buff or a [ __ ] mouse when i saw them with a mouse for the first time i was like this is the craziest thing i've ever seen in my life they're more aggressive than any cat more aggressive they just chase after that [ __ ] mouse that they can't believe it's in there and they're tearing it out of each other's mouths like a room full of cats would be way more civilized if one of them caught a mouse than a room full of chickens chickens are wild so that one if they die they don't give a [ __ ] about you but a dog gives a [ __ ] about you and a cow kinda can give a [ __ ] about you like when you see people have pet cows and like a pet deer and [ __ ] and the deer come right up to them they eat out of their hands a chicken never does that like they don't have a connection with you like maybe they'll let you pick them up but like it's a robot that's a little a meat robot a little bit they're just a little meat robot they're like trying to eat worms and [ __ ] that's what they're doing they're [ __ ] each other up and they peck at each other oh [ __ ] a sick chicken will get packed to death by the other ones it's called a pecking order they peck at each other though that's what the pecking order is all about whoa they have to establish who's the big [ __ ] and the big [ __ ] runs around [ __ ] up all the other chickens did not know that yeah dude it's a weird world a bird look at him and that's no razors no there is a razor i see once taped up no maybe not no no that's just a feather i think yeah so now imagine a razor on the end of one of their claws and they're coming right trying to like slash them boom
it's weird i mean they're beautiful though it's not like that i don't think they're great looking no razors on these they're tied together on this one oh yeah they tied their feet oh my god they're just letting them [ __ ] each other up that's even more ruthless i saw a foot on the ground just a chicken foot with a razor attached to it just on the ground so do you think that should be legal yeah do whatever you want how do i care i don't know it's your choice for real no for real like is it okay yeah it's not it's not in this country but in other countries i have no problem with it tony hinchcliffe i have no problem you can have two betta fish and not that that's not i get why you wouldn't right but but to me it's not over that long oh look at that razor there the future manu oh my god look at the size of that thing god it's so sharp dude i saw this guy they have a booklet remember those old cd cases they have a booklet of razors and these guys they're about to fight their bruises look through them and go no this one this guy pulled one out goes like this with a razor just not the sharps on the sides that grows this one and it's so [ __ ] frightening and he cuts his own tongue no he just on the side just lies it oh my god oh jesus they're wild oh my god they're fun yeah you'd be okay with it right oh yeah yeah i don't think it's a good place for me to go at this stage of my my career into a cockfight promotion trying to legalize here well i just don't think that uh that's the place where i should be hanging around oh yeah yeah yeah it's not gonna be though it doesn't seem like another conversation so so when i would go to my gardener's place he had this whole setup like they had like the whole ring and everything it was in the backyard it was either his house or his friend's house who went to that had the ring but anyway he had all these like chicken cages and [ __ ] and everybody had chickens you could hear them in the background you could come up
like you hear them across the street you could hear them yeah yeah everywhere like the whole neighborhood it was interesting man it was like they're fine like like no they're not they're going what the [ __ ] this one had 7 000 birds taken from oh my god val verde illegal [ __ ] fighting ring bus largest in u.s history 2017. who can't let him do it i just don't see the problem with it the humane society cares it's not unusual to hear birds start to vomit or regurgitate blood yeah don't go eric sakak where's the line outside of kentucky fried chicken it's like what do you think they ain't losing any blood in that but at least then we're using it for a good thing which is food you're allowed to use animals for food not for pleasure they eat the rooster the winner gets to eat the rooster of the loser that's how they should cook they go home with them do they yeah oh for real that's one of your rewards is you get to go home with a loser i think the the rooster though would be tough to eat i think they'd probably be like real sinewy i saw a guy in that country eating parrots i don't think they're gonna take a chance on a rooster he ate carrots yeah really i saw him like looking up in the trees and i'm like uh what are you doing he was like uh looking for parrots i'm like why i'm like to kill them i'm like what because yeah i eat them like have you got any lifts up his shirt four dead parrots hanging off his belt wow i mean they can't be good anything that we don't eat can't be good remember the one time that we had so arrogant because we would eat it instantly yeah we're the real kings of the jungle remember that time we had live in the jungle we're like the lions we're fake fakers true what's the unicorn of the sea norwal into our wall yeah remember the time that we ate where in iceland or somewhere no no someone gave us uh it was an indigenous guy in canada if you're an indigenous guy in canada you're allowed to hunt a norwal and it's uh it's kind of creepy wow so we we sat down at this restaurant we should probably not say the restaurant and uh the guy said i am gonna bring you
something over that's gonna freak you out it's like try this this is narwhal and we're like what yeah and by the way not worth it really it was one of the best meals of my life however it was amazing but yeah started and i almost think that they gave it to us first to make everything else taste a thousand times better i don't think they gave it to us first it was in the middle of stuff he gave us a bunch of stuff it wasn't good no it wasn't good but it was one of those things where you like okay this is an odd thing like why why does one eat this and i don't think you're allowed to sell it either i think it's one of those things where someone can serve it to you like uh and if you're a native you're allowed to hunt them you know they call them um first peoples i think yeah is that what they maybe what is the um whatever what is their their term for uh native american in canada the flavor it was indigenous it was like a homeless guy's foot i want to say it's like first people this is calling it and you get raw meat and fish no no no no no but i'm asking for the the thing about uh people that live in canada first nations that's it first nation so first nations people they can you know if they lived in that area where they traditionally hunted whales they're still allowed yeah you know i think you can hunt a lot of stuff that we can't hunt like seals cool i saw this alaska show and the there was a husband and wife team you can't tell me who to root for and the wife had to uh shoot the seal when they when they were gonna eat a seal the wife had to shoot it really she was uh yeah she was eskimo oh oh she had to be the one pulling the trigger she had to be the one pulling the trigger yeah he couldn't pull the trigger he's not allowed to um to shoot it which is wow how interesting looking harvested by inuit family near yellowknife northwest territories i always say yellowknife when you go to the airport in canada and you see like taking off your yellow knife is like who
the [ __ ] is the yellow knife where is that place has anyone ever done a show in yellowknife i don't know i bet there's a lot of hunting up there canadians hunt their ass off that's the meat yep that's what it looks like pass yeah plus the guilt you never get rid of the guilt you ate a whale you guys forgot about it till now is that the cutest thing you've ever eaten uh i i puffin oh in iceland i think or norway what was that like good fatty and then and then orca i think what some sort of whale whale burgers in what in norway you ate a whale burger yeah jesus christ it might have been a workout but it was well but it's totally legal that they have a lot of them they have a lot of whales no shortage no shortage this is a troll he's trolling no no for real you're allowed to eat him i smelled it jamie this is the best thing about being controlled sometimes you're telling the truth and i believe you whale burger sounds weird it was okay you sure this wasn't a wall burger chain yeah marky mark's place yeah maybe yeah people used to hunt all the time look at that thing whale burger fried lobster why you oh that's crazy vegas oh it's happened in vegas what no that's just a burger they're calling it a whale no that's just a bacon cheeseburger bro no it's 100 100 whale burger with fried lobster while you and beef that whale burger that is not whale well why would you call it a whale burger a whale of something vegas so it's vegas click on that there's where's the place is also in pasadena they make the 50 50 is the bacon ground beef bacon burger they make right but why they call it 100 whale burgers it might be the size of the whale click on it or something yeah it's the size of the burger they're just calling it the size of the burger yeah look it's just a cheeseburger and then it's got bacon yeah yeah yeah yeah what else is on it lobster oh it's right there what's that top thing on it
uh why you beef that's bacon lobster lobster is it oh the top top thing yeah the top of the bacon one pound of wagyu beef right that's gold dust billionaire's bacon or bacon fried lobster tail that's it so that white stuff is the lobster tail look up norway whale burger okay but that's better that is better that's great yeah i mean always order that one but for one time order the other one there also is comedy and yellow uh yellow knife yellow knife oh really there's a lot of comedy [ __ ] i don't know how big it was but there's comedy shows i might have been there once man i never went with you maybe where's that one place we performed in that hockey arena that one oh that was fun saskatoon i forget did we do that did you do that with us it was brian calendar the hockey rink yeah that one was the worst sound ever norway's whale meat industry has gone to the dogs oh what what does that mean is it what has it got like hay on it and [ __ ] what the [ __ ] going on though seasoning weird that's not seasoning is it dirt it looks like grass just [ __ ] hay yeah that's like someone dropped it before they took the photo and they were too lazy to pick all the hay off of it that's whale meat no that's that real where can i eat whale meat in norway imagine if you're one of those creeps that just wants to eat things that are exotic or endangered there's there's a whole group of people that do that do you know that i'm one of them i just doesn't enter it there was a guy who told me he had to go to a foreign country i don't want to say which one because i don't i want i don't know where something's like well you could do whatever you want there it's not matter when or not it's legal it's like he'd get away with it and there was a menu and all these like very wealthy people would go to this place and there was this uh they would have this like annual dinner where they would cook things like tiger and chimpanzee and like wild [ __ ] they cook all illegal stuff all stuff that you you can't buy anywhere else things that
like rhino they would serve rhino wow yeah my buddy ate monkey meat i don't know it was india or china i feel like it was china they take monkey brain they take the monkey tie them down live oh jesus shoot them so they [ __ ] get paralyzed and still a friend at the temple of doom and they cut their [ __ ] head open while they're still alive and everyone eats out of the brain what yeah that's real oh my god oh my god look at that block it says fiction oh the monkey brain scene in faces of death that's what that was so your friend actually saw this happen yeah whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa go back one jamie where were you just before i was looking at a different image look at the pile of brains in the corner is that a pile of monkey brains god damn it depends how big that pot is nine weird and interesting foods you'll find in china oh are they really eating monkey brains yeah but wouldn't you think that that would be dangerous monkey brains oh my god that's a bowl of monkey brains by the brains of this piece wow monkey brains is a disc dish consisting of at least partially the brains of some species of monkey or ape however this is a very rare dish that is considered extremely cruel by the vast majority of the chinese someone sounds woke monkey brains have traditionally been eaten in parts of china and southeast asia because people believe they will be imbued with ancient wisdom when i actually talked to a guy in teamwork he goes we we ate him as a kid and now nobody kind of eats them anymore no more yeah well um studies are out or whatever uh david cho you know the artist he went with the hanza he went hunting and they hunted baboons and they hunt and kill baboons because apparently the area that they're at um where they hunt at has been so cleared out of animals that they they've taken to like they primarily hunt these primates and they they hunt [ __ ] baboons guns bows and arrows whoa he says wild he said when the the baboon got hit with the arrow he grabs it like like a person
whoa he's trying to pull it out of him wow cause baboons are a weird thing they're like a if a monkey [ __ ] a dog right they have these long faces and giant ass [ __ ] teeth and baboons of steal people's babies what's the one that ate those people's eyeballs out in their captivity it was chimps they're all [ __ ] yeah but baboons are they'll steal your baby and eat it for sure chimps will too yeah can you imagine losing your baby to a [ __ ] child oh my god or seeing it about to get on there you're like they wouldn't even eat it out of your view they would just huddle up and just hunch over it in the middle of the park and you'd be screaming while they're saying look it should make sure you don't use your clothes first oh yeah and then if you [ __ ] run up on them they'll either beat the [ __ ] out of you or they'll just climb a tree and eat your kid in the tree a tough one to [ __ ] deal with that's a therapy moment for sure nature's so ruthless man and imagine what they would be saying about us if they could talk like these [ __ ] they just shoot people for purses yeah yeah they eat everything right just for the shoes you already have shoes on yeah why would you shoot that guy for shoes yeah i just got new ostrich cowboy boots i'm not wearing them right now but i gotta tell you to work i never knew would happen but ostrich it's fun to wear ostrich is a weird animal too they're mean little [ __ ] they'll peck at you smash at you with your neck they can kick the [ __ ] out of you too those big ass legs they'll [ __ ] you up that's why i wear them as boots is because i was trying to help the environment or something like that yeah man [Laughter] you bailed on that oh no look at that thing yep wow what a mean face god damn right if you saw that like if you went to sleep and you woke up and that was looking at you
like you're blind yeah no that one's about to eat you no the one the one in the lower corner yeah gold yeah that one right there no the one that you would just no no the one that you just had that one yeah that one's right about to bite your [ __ ] nose off it looks cute yeah i was gonna say it looks like it smoked one of those new blunts we had last night he looks like one of those birds in madagascar if an ostrich attacks you how do you think you respond look at that thing that's so mean look at the eyes on that thing that thing doesn't give a [ __ ] about you right look at his eyes if an ostrich goes after you what do you think your move is ari um i guess there's an ancient part you say hebrew hero israel i am the lord i am a god if you say that you go straight to heaven oh you have to say that while the ostrich is kicking yeah right before yeah say it quick you're gone yeah how would you pre ostrich comes at you how tall of an ostrich taller than you well their neck will be tall but their body won't be the thing you have to worry about is the legs i'm gonna keep my hands up and i'm gonna shoot low double leg take down go forward drive through yep drive through it's sort of khabib put my legs under his get full mount and then beat the [ __ ] out of it that would be my approach so you would beat the [ __ ] out of it with uh you what oh my god the guy's riding an ostrich tony i want you to reconsider yeah i know i now literally now that i'm seeing what it shakes go back to that image actually no that guy looks like he is the ostrich like his legs go to the jamie go to the one and the girl go to the one in the middle up there with the red yeah look at the legs on that erasing them jamie you ain't doing jack [ __ ] to those legs tony said don't put me on that argument all right i'm changing my mind i'm gonna go full time excuse me i'm gonna go uh just under yeah i'm gonna get under without [ __ ] choking i'm gonna jump up like olivier i'm gonna get full jump on
you're going to get a choke he's got so much neck he's going to still bite you he's got so much neck he's in trouble dude he's in big trouble that's all the question is can you choke that it almost looks like it's like a palm tree i think i think i would be inclined to not rear naked choke but instead to kimura his neck right this is what i think i'm doing yeah i take the back and then i wrap my arm around his neck thusly right and get in here and i connect it to my forearm so i have one hand on the base of his neck i have my full arm wrapped around his forearm and i figure out a way to snap his [ __ ] neck yeah that's what i think quick and i don't think i can because honestly it's hard it's hard to strangle a chicken look at that thing [ __ ] that dude oh he's he's trying to wrangle it it's gotta [ __ ] it oh my god i don't know that thing's beating his ass he's got a rope around here oh now they all turn to the guy tony that thing is going to beat your ass i don't think so this is what you said about that's what you said about david lucas for a couple weeks before david lucas out of this we can't do this podcast yes we can it's too sad he wanted it david lucas fell apart wrestling tony david lucas is 300 pounds tony weighs 48 pounds yeah and david luke is out or tony hinchcliffe out wrestled david lucas hey buddy this is a good idea oh this guy climbed the fence oh what does he think he's going to do just push out now he knows he's kind of [ __ ] yeah he's just trying to move away and the osha is like not today [ __ ] not today how does it approach does it bite what's it gonna do does it bite come on dude come on just walk away please please walk away oh my god oh it kicks kicking they're probably going to right yeah yeah he's going to [ __ ] scratch you up he's going to get one uh-oh right you're not going to get over this oh [ __ ] yeah but you're getting over because it's just going to peck at you don't get caught on that fence they don't have much force on their beak you got to worry about their legs [ __ ] idiot
jackass is out in february i guarantee he's gonna pay to see you do comedy that's one of your [ __ ] core audience members he'd be like [ __ ] them dude i loved your tweets i was just skank fresh front row i was a guy who asked you to pee on me [Laughter] [ __ ] dorks please follow at rip ari shafir that's aggressive uh you hit it with a ruler on how to to survive hard hit it in the neck swing away is that what you're supposed to do i mean yeah you gotta ko him or kimura the neck i think i could come or that neck find a video of somebody come over in the neck please i think i could eat you no go for the legs i'll go for the legs like that idea too star wars like good luck good luck you're not going to hurt what's happening don't when you're 100 meters away hide that's smart that's what i do for sure three ways to survive an ostrich encounter or attack okay i think you need a knife all right you're fighting it he's a long weapon yeah use your penis extender if you dive in with a knife you're cutting the neck first right you gotta you want to cut right where the dark gun but also counterpoint don't you want to go to the body where you know you'd be more likely to hit it if you had a gun and need to use it aim for the officer's main body to better ensure hitting your target boom although they will be attacking with their legs and or beak their legs and neck are very thin and easy to miss wow ostriches can kick hard enough to kill a lion that said what yeah i've heard that what where right in there right here second sound oh no keep out of reach of the legs as you can since ostriches can kick hard enough to kill a lion it's a rough episode for lions here today there's [ __ ] gotta be [ __ ] getting [ __ ] big chickens now we had such an elevated opinion of them yeah you know just dashed after today's you know my favorite lion story was remember when cecil the lion got killed
by that guy this is one of the first things that make me understand internet rage uh and then they found out after cecil that uh cecil's brother jericho might have already gotten shot as well and they were so sad and then they came up with a news story that said good news the lion that got shot was not jericho so it wasn't cecil's brother as if they're naming these [ __ ] lions and maybe any memory of like yeah me and my brother play ball every time there's in a movie like one lion has more power over the other line you know still they're lying but it's like we don't have a name it's funny i don't have a name yeah people are dive into a thorn bush opt for getting pricked by thorns instead of being disemboweled by the austria's razor-sharp talons never gonna happen if no other hiding spots are available jump straight into a thorn bush wait for the oscars to leave before climbing out well obviously on the last part expect the ostrich to refrain from picking its head after you in order to protect its large eyes okay oh my god lie on the ground resist the urge to run for cover or elevation if it's too far away instead play dead this is why you need a knife oh my god with a knife and a good rear naked choke you need to be able to take the has anybody ever taken the back of an ostrich oh we gotta find it what happened to justmeet.com when you need it yeah people are now telling me because i'm an old man that live leak is no longer around stop saying it's not around anymore is that true i don't know life was the last place to put videos where they're like you do whatever you want here yeah anything world star we need that back yeah is world star still buckwild yeah still crazy they did shut down the mcdonald the maine mcdonald's from worldstar right near the comedy cellar worldstar shut it down no mcdonald's shut it down why i think too many bad videos really yeah it was like every saturday there was like five world star videos there wow
people got turnt up [Music] that's a problem with uh social media too people want to do things like stunts so people will see them so they'll do wild stunts that happen by the seller yeah that's the kind of stuff that happens on sixth street all the time geography comic taking over the reigns from brody has the geography comic yes six straight eight one eight enjoy it red river should wrap this up because it's boring it's a fun [ __ ] stopover glad i ran into you last night that was fun yeah the show was already over i was like ah [ __ ] came over here timing missed them perfect the show was over and i was hanging out the green room for another hour yeah um so you are headed to san antonio san antonio now yeah i'll be in uh what are you doing what is it called the club hello san antonio um what else are you doing let's see i got uh cleveland and phoenix in january at denver and maybe even properly vancouver in february is it ariethgrate.com still ari shafir.com are the great dot com yeah why don't you make aria the great your new twitter handle are you the maybe that's not about it not twitter i'm done with twitter come on man try to get canceled 100 okay all your [ __ ] is up on your website ariethegrate.com or try a new instagram all right maybe we can get people to go there let's i'll try alreadythegreat.com how many uh followers did you have 450 000. well you're never gonna get those back i just [ __ ] lost like a third of my salary for the year that's no way to promote [ __ ] do you think your agency will um maybe they can make an exception where they let you go this time maybe they said they just went on christmas break so i was like it's not even a contact till january like all right so in january they'll contact people and then maybe who knows well [ __ ] whatever you're better off for it i wish there was a place we could go that's not censored like that you could just do
whatever you want yeah or it should be a setting you should set if you want to avoid all this stuff but isn't it funny that the way they've set it up now whether it's by accident or whether it's by design yeah is everywhere you go that's not twitter yeah it gets immediately co-opted by right-wing people because they don't have a place to go they can get buck wild all right they don't have a place they can go where they can post a bunch of joe biden memes and talk wild [ __ ] and talk about storming the capital again yeah you know yeah what was that they banned the um car racing term because they that newscaster misunderstood what they were racing they were all screaming what russell brandon no let's go brandon let's go brandon yeah because they're all saying let [ __ ] joe biden and that old like you know really nice guy broadcaster was interviewing he was like oh they're saying let's go think it was a girl oh really wasn't a girl that was interviewing yeah she just said no no dude she was trying to pretend it was saying they were saying [ __ ] joe biden does that sound like that's she's like they're saying let's go brandon like i think she was trying to cover and then everyone started co-opting i was like hey that's my way of saying [ __ ] joe biden we all know the code and then twitter was like nah not even that unless she had earphones on if she had like uh monitors in her ear and couldn't hear that good maybe it was an honest mistake let's hear it when didn't look too rusty on those burnouts brandon must be practicing somewhere yeah i mean y'all could ask like my neighbors back at coastal carolina that uh i did plenty of burnouts uh to practice for this moment oh my god this is a dream come true wow talladega winner oh my god dad we did it let's go you told me before this race that if you were to win it would be incredible how does the reality of this moment live up to the dream oh my god this is just everything we've hoped and dreamed for
this is uh everything i've ever wanted to do is take the trophy home to mom and dad and oh my god thank you so much larry's lemonade thank you so much create the change thank you so much jabs construction thank you mid-atlantic thank you to all of our partners oh my god it's just such an unbelievable moment brandon you also told me as you can hear the chance from the the crowd let's go brandon brandon you told me you're gonna kind of hang back those first two stages what did you learn that helped you there in those closing laps oh my god it was uh learning how each line didn't uh stay to one and everything shifted top to bottom so much that it was kind of like okay let's just stay patient this is the most absurd video we just answer these questions if they're not screaming [ __ ] joe biden in the background he's lost in it dude he's talking about the lines he was cutting as he was racing and then the right-wing people said that let's just use that as code right and they start going uh let's go brandon as their way of saying you know what i'm actually saying and twitter's like nah i know what you're doing you can't say that's all twitter banning let's go brandon didn't they take it down i heard that why don't you post let's go brandon we'll sit and watch like this watch again it should blow up well right from what i understand they just said that if you tweet that the you can spread covet with the vaccine which is a fact that everyone admits and knows uh they can ban you for that too i think happened yesterday with people right yeah i don't know what that is i did read that but i didn't look into it so i don't want to jump to conclusions because oftentimes people look into something and then sort of exaggerate what it actually says but what they were trying to say is they're punished people who post that you can spread covet while vaccinated which you definitely can so that's what they're saying that slows down the vaccination right so like will
decide like you can't know this truth yeah i think that's more of likely what they're exposed to changing policies to ban the school brand oh so facebook's not doing that we're talking about twitter though jeremy i know but this is the only thing that came up that said no one was being no one is debunked so facebook won't either yeah so good yeah this is better that's good no you know how i know because i saw someone's post the other day on twitter and it said let's go brandon they probably won't let the hashtag go anymore they stop certain hashtags because it overwhelms they stopped all the justin bieber hashtags nothing they were just like it's all the hashtags we're not doing it you know [ __ ] you is banned from instagram really yeah i tried to write hashtag [ __ ] you oh wow and what happened what came up wouldn't do it wouldn't do it and then i made a post about how hashtag [ __ ] you is banned because it was about the single bullet theory i was making a post about uh it's because i was having a conversation with someone on the jfk assassination and i wrote hashtag [ __ ] you at the end of it because they would they just declined to release all the documents you know they had a chance to release documents from 1963 about kennedy's assassination and they decided to not release them to the general public like why why why won't you tell us what the [ __ ] happened from 1963 do you have evidence that would piss everybody off like what is it and so that's like [ __ ] you as a way to express yourself i posted about the single bullet theory about how stupid the theory is they found this bullet in connolly's gurney that went through two guys just mysteriously wound up in a semi-pristine state on a gurney just by accident get the [ __ ] out of here like that it's it's so it's such an offensively stupid theory that's a single bullet there and they only did it because they had to come up with a bullet they did they sold to everybody that's a part of the oliver stone documentary the new documentary on jfk it's heavy man that's really interesting that same [ __ ] they're like no what do you mean and it's like
obviously same thing with nancy pelosi he's like no i don't share my information with my husband why would i he just happened to make a lot of money the only thing i knew about we should totally be allowed to participate dude i made so many people mad when when the the your deal came up your spotify deal and i was like yeah he told me about it like before it went public i mean i put like 10 20 grand into like the stock market it was like and people just i skirted by it people like that's clear insider trading reported report it that's hilarious so that would be insider trading for sure in that wild yeah for sure using information like i know a player's hurt oh let me bet against that team what if i gambled on spotify would that be insider information if i'm a part of it if it's not stock options right so that would no longer supposed to wait for the announcement so it's fair for everyone i think that's the that's the rule yeah it's gotta be fair so if i started negotiating with them like six months ago before i started and then i started buying stock what about that that's the thing so you know i would say your lawyer don't do that to buy it i believe that's i don't see that brings me back to the pete rose thing i think it's okay to bet on yourself yeah i think so too like i'm gonna increase the stock of this place yeah because when i started but i could see how that would be that would be that's inside a trade but when i uploaded my podcast to spotify like it didn't do anything to the stocks no so if i was like i'm going to better myself to change the stock even if i told them they'd be like no that's not inside of trading you're just guessing if you're gonna do that same as you yeah not really you knew who would help them yeah that was the whole plan that's probably why they gave you a bunch of money that's why they gave me the money yeah they don't like me they don't care i mean it's all about this guy likes me i like him too he's great it's um yeah it's business man yeah but
it's just this is the only time where the left is like actively calling for people to be removed because they're saying things you don't like it is it is wild but it's like it's not for you then but i can't just talk to my friends well there's some people that think you shouldn't be allowed to say things they disagree with and it's a it's a thing that they say without thinking too deeply about it and they say because other people around them say it as well and that's one of the reasons why people are so excited about d platforming because with some people it works cool they're gone now yeah like milo milo is a great example they they removed him from the conversation he was always in the conversation he was always saying outrageous things he wasn't going anyone's account and spamming it or anything like that he was just like saying [ __ ] on his own he just happened to be right wing and they didn't like it and they didn't like that his right wing and that he was a gay guy because then you give a little bit of leeway he was one of the first ones like can we turn on a k and then it was like yeah finally yes if you were an unspoken politician if you were an unscrupulous politician do you think that you would pretend to be gay so that you could uh fit right into the woke moment and and perhaps maybe even be president the only question i have is what do you mean by unscrupulous for sure i would do that would you do it to be mayor yeah if it's all [ __ ] anyway then like yeah i'm gonna [ __ ] join in you're like i'll use it but i mean it's if you were mayor senator anything of course of course oh you're saying only this day well yeah only yeah for sure what if it's like mayor of like a small if i want the office yes for sure why not if it doesn't matter we judge people based on like who they are not their [ __ ] theirs then i'll say on this that's not true not people i mean like i don't care so i'm like what does it matter but my point is there's some social clout to being a part like if you want like via grosser changed his name same [ __ ] right yes it's like your music heisman changed his name to get a [ __ ]
heisman well villa lagrossa was vlar right and then he married a lady and they combined their two names and that was villa grosso that sounds bad same with beethoven o'rourke what was he his name's not beto it's like robert or something well the craziest one is bill de blasio the mayor of new york city that's not his name what is his name oh it's like wilheim or something like that what is his name um it's a crazy yeah you said it last time i was here yeah it's a crazy name when you go what yeah beto made his beto so the uh mexican people in texas would vote for him really yeah is beta what does that mean o'rourke is irish beto is uh warren wilheim jr wilheim wow bill de blasio warren wilhelm jr what that sounds like a guy at the nurse everything about us hates paige he changed everything about his name wow like everything i'm just bill de blasio yeah there was a while i bet where if you had a name like that it could be a problem right like during the post-world war two times yeah when you know people were still had a fear of nazis yeah wilheim away yeah that's a that's a heavy german name yeah we changed our name after the war it's very german it used to be spitter you ever thought about going back to that just to [ __ ] up your career not bad not bad i am prone to doing things like that you had a german sounding last name yeah wow wow that's wild yeah a lot of italians did that they shortened their names they they made it more digestible a lot of people did that that i didn't think they thought it was a big deal to switch your name around a little bit what was your name spitzer spitzer yeah spitzer always took you as more of a swallower wow he can't help himself i didn't see it coming that time either you never see it coming aldo aldo to my connor yeah but changing your whole name like that that's wild yeah i mean just like and you're saying oh yeah the system is this dumb and i'm gonna join in with it that
i'll change my name it has anything to do with my policies well names could be a an impediment right if you got a funky name goldberg that's a good name yeah that's a good idea change it to that that ain't not goldberg what's tony hinchcliffe's a whole full name no yeah that's a real name yeah it's a fitting in hollywood back then oh come on what's her real name i don't know [ __ ] that's wild is that culture appropriation karen johnson oh no way she's a kid she's a karen oh my god oh my god she's the number one black cat oh my god oh my god wow whoopi goldsberg and she was getting into what run profession it was probably mitzi that made her do it too oh it could be you're right i'll bet you anything no you should say your whoopee wow what mitz used to do that to everybody yeah where where are you she has that kind of influence early on michael she gets her two years into comedy yeah i'll take your word for it i don't know yeah dave tyree remember he was dave tyre but no one could pronounce it really one e at the ends people kept saying tire so he's like let me just throw another e so you could pronounce it right oh wow huh i love that old guy what happened to him i don't know i remember when uh jamie massad used to give guys advice she told my friend he should be a generation x guy you should be generation x guy buddy you know this is you when you go on stage this you're doing it you're doing it you know what he told me in my first year i loved it what are you ready for this [ __ ] said i should start dressing like a cowboy and wear a towel i swear from toy story and i spent the first 14 years of my career thinking it's the stupidest [ __ ] i ever heard in the last year living it up thanks james a lot of times i mean he's got to get some good advice out there like has he ever given anybody good advice that they they went with and turned out to be a good move i never heard of one it has to be when you're around comedy
that much mitzy gave me tons of good advice but what did she say to you that was good advice too hyper when i was an open micr it's like you shouldn't hype yourself up that much um stop doing open mics you're getting bad habits oh we were just talking about this just talking about something they're great but at some point it's like i'm only entertaining the most jaded people in the world right yeah well there's also a bit of a defense mechanism where you'll say things just to make the comics laugh like inside jokes because that is your audience yeah yeah yeah a real in-depth talk last night to one of my uh yeah favorite young comedians about that because he's a hustler but he's hustling the wrong direction himself in front of like two people in the audience and they're both comics like those are not those are and then you train that way the way you come clearly come out of the boston bar scene you know it's like they're coming out of that you've got to get away from it but i was like well once i get up that's the only place i get up right and you take like a few months of less spots and then you find your body will make you find the good spot yep it's amazing that an art form that is so well regarded right where people love to go see it and they you know whenever a big comic has a special it's always a big deal and yet there's no like real structure on how someone develops you know right you were talking the other day on the road about how when i found out that open mics were like free and that you could just get go sign up and get better and like you didn't have to pay anything it didn't make any sense comparing it to college to comparing it to anything yeah uh you could get better at something for free yeah anyway if you're on comic and listening i don't i don't remember what i said anymore but there's a video online of me talking to pretty much like one and two year comics giving advice i would think some of it would still hold up i don't know yeah um tempe right now at the comedy store you did it in tempe too though you did it maybe non-filmed you did it maybe a class came by and said you want to talk to them yeah okay you did what you did was you said you were gonna you did it a
couple of times and i thought it was really smart because you you basically answer like how do you get a manager how do you go in the room so unclear when you start you're like i don't know about any of this well i was thinking that like everybody does it very differently if you can't teach a person who does it say like judah freelander's style to start doing it like william montgomery right they both have totally different styles and they're one that's an absurdist and then one way and one's observers in another way right but there's some like universal truths so that's what you tell them it's like don't develop whatever jokes you want but hey these are your friends don't forget to make friends with your friends yeah you know they'll help you out [ __ ] like that yeah how to do your taxes and to duck stuff there's way more that friend stuff now than there ever has been before everybody was rivals back then yeah now it's great now it's way better there's there's not we're not trying to get any like roles for the most part so it's just like hey do you want to come my podcast and i'll promote you and you'll get better off and then my pockets will be better because you're here i feel like this is really like genuinely the only time where a large group of comics are completely independent independent how great it is completely independent and mainstream at the same time so mainstream in the numbers that they hit but like completely like tom and segura tom cigar and christina pozicki i did your mom's house live yeah and i was like this is crazy like this is the craziest thing anyone's doing on the internet they do a pay-per-view the things you see are [ __ ] horrific and disgusting and insane and hilarious and the two of them are hilarious and i and i go this is a genius thing to do you find videos that literally you can't get anywhere else like if you get an e-curiosity put up on any platform pay-per-view it has to be pay-per-view and you're watching like what in the [ __ ] a guy stuck a peg in his ass and they played carnival style ring toss onto the [ __ ] pig that's nothing the [ __ ] eating is what gets me oh when people start eating [ __ ]
just something i had to turn away three or four times oh my god that's great watch the live thing i can't watch people eat [ __ ] i don't know why just for one other thing baby bird was close to that baby bear was close baby everyone eating their own vomit yeah really in a small room that was great that was king of radio vomiting in a guy's mouth that by the end first it was started vomiting gross gross roast then somebody brought it into his froot loops and he ate up his fruit loops yeah with vomit in it but then the vomiting all over his mouth at the end when pat from unaki vomited he won gallons of gallons of gallons of eggnog in this guy's face and mouth you've never seen it no oh my god who's in the who's in the room it's me joe rogan bill burr voss i think yeah and uh anthony norton yeah it was an epic crowd of people and this kid pat duffy who's a [ __ ] savage savage legend dog [ __ ] that he would found on the ground that was dried out oh my god joke so here is pafunaku at the end of the uh the eggnog challenge he's done and he's eaten eating this guy don't let him go the guy in the bottom was like if you give me a job as an injury amazing relationship yes pat how are you so he's lying there with this and this is my idea by the way when i was hosting fear factor i was like how about this we have this guy lean his head off the edge of the garbage can and pat from unaki throws up in his mouth he's diabetic monaki just drank 100 cups of eggnog so he has to throw it up or he'll die he's getting another one and he's about to bust so he fills up again these are the good old days by the way this was what this show doing this show was one of the main reasons why i wound up doing stand up all over the place excuse these were the good radio shows this was fm this wasn't even the serious part um i think you're right okay here it goes no no no you ain't seen [ __ ] that's just the first burst he's got he's got like 20 eight or nine more rounds in him waiting for this oh
no no no it gets worse it gets worse it's cartoon it's cartoonish wow that is it's cartoonish the visceral sounds it's like the champions one more i think he's got one more in him oh it's covered and he's got he looks like a mummy it's impossible it's impossible it's impossible when he might have one more biggest one no way no way oh my gosh now who named it a baby bird it was not you you got credit for it and said what said that wasn't me with somebody else it might have been burr it was burr or it sounds like a birth thing it might have been like a baby bird yeah all right we can't top that oh my god you can find that it's still available on youtube for some strange reasons they took it down that night not on youtube well there's a version of it but this was not that's not the one look at the phone the quality of that youtube yeah whose phone was it all right it's a [ __ ] flip phone i know whoever it was i don't know who's filming it maybe me might have been you you probably had the best technology then actually it looks like it's on a tripod or something no it's pretty still yeah yeah he's not moving at all you're right it is multiple versions oh this is a pal talk cap version oh pal remember pound talk pal talk was the thing that those only those guys used back then for the radio show and they were the kings and they did it because you had to use windows too i remember that like you couldn't get it on a mac wow but um but there's versions of it from someone's phone too yeah that's why there's a couple different so there's this one too but it was like not playing it was showing more of it and maybe this is clear but it keeps stopping the video like it picks up yeah see this is a different angle come on ugh did he open his mouth yeah this might be me i i'm pretty sure i had a video of it back then and i think i had oh my god oh my god okay okay oh my god okay yeah because that looked better
than the uh pal talk version which is like a webcam webcams back then were pretty [ __ ] wow when was that i don't know oh my 2006. oh [ __ ] sorry sorry i was gonna guess yeah it said from the side i was gonna say that i know i heard you i was gonna say god that was [ __ ] great i really felt like i was a belonging comic being there what a [ __ ] fun time well that's one of the things that opium anthony gave you oh you gave all of us is you felt like you were in third angle you know third angle [Laughter] it seems like um when you would get on that show and you would all bust balls and patrice was there and vos was there and all these guys were there and you would always generally have like four or five guys in a room and yeah yeah yeah and we learned to go to do podcasts yeah yeah wow that's the start of podcast with comics everyone's joking around and then when um anthony started doing his own [ __ ] from his basement and start streaming it i remember thinking oh now i can do that how'd you do that he was doing uh karaoke while holding a machine gun so he's holding a machine gun and he's singing karaoke yeah and he's got a green screen so he's like on like a penthouse apartment in new york city he's an american flag behind him you could do all kinds of wild [ __ ] if you have a green screen oh my gonna come out with god that has a camera in the guy's mouth [Laughter] can you see if you can find uh uh anthony kumia live from the compound see if any of that's available online so anthony had this thing he set up a full professional thing for a goof because anthony's like a single guy no kids tons of loot and he's wild he's a fun dude so he wanted to just get hammered all the time he had a keg with guinness in it and [ __ ] like it's like his pad was great crazy he was a good person a wild man because he was a really wealthy older bachelor who was uh a beloved radio host and in his spare time would do his own show and his own show that he did he went out man i mean he got [ __ ] like real broadcast desks
and yeah real microphones it was the first guy that ever did this this is his green screen in his [ __ ] house doing live from the compound crazy gun guy they don't even know who it is he's that gun on his uh leg that's for real like that's not a prop like he would walk around with a gun on him all over his like if someone broke into his house he was ready oh thank you he was ready he's one of those guys there's also this one which is a live carrier that's pat what year is this 2011. yeah the one before was 2010 it said so he was doing this for a while don't let the son yeah he i think he started in like 2007. or 2008 if i remember correctly and i think there was a problem with uh is either xm or sirius whichever one didn't want him doing it he's like look all this does is bring more people to the show and they had an issue with him broadcasting on another platform but it was totally for free what year was it uh yeah they were like they're gonna watch this instead of the other ones like he's gonna do he's like they're gonna do both yeah so these are just a few videos i mean he was doing it all the time and this what you're seeing is just like what somebody uploaded somewhere is it cool jesus look at this guy oh my god look at his sniper it's a ridiculous crazy gun guy karaoke let me see here with the sound oh this is his yeah so he's going to sing [Music] why is holding a giant gun [Applause] [Music] hey man we can do this wow and then we said let's just start streaming something on you stream but i guarantee you if he like he was a giant factor in me deciding to do a podcast wow because i realized like you don't have to have a studio you don't have to be on serious because we all wanted to do radio right she's like we don't want to wake up and we're not done these dumb rules and i went to adam carolla's place but adam carolla had like a real professional setup like adam carolla had a garage he used to keep his cars in and
uh adam was like the first rich guy to get into podcasting right yeah he got he got thrown off the radio yeah and he was doing really well on the radio so they changed format and they said you're all done yeah you can still get maintain your contract this went to spanish so you may think but you can't do any other radio it's like a coaching internet right so he did it on the internet it was a loophole so he did his show and i remember doing it at his place thinking wow this is like unattainable like how would i get a building how would i get all these employees and i remember thinking what is all these [ __ ] people running the cameras and [ __ ] oh my god it's so many and i remember thinking this is so much like god i wish i could do this and then i saw anthony i'm like oh i could do that right right very few just don't turn around but even what he did like what anthony did he had like a professional desk set up and like those big ass broadcast cameras and he knew how to like he had employees he had people working for him and [ __ ] you had bread band yeah figure it out well we figured it out look well you know what we figured out like in the beginning was just simple webcam and then add a few things okay now do another webcam and this one you can split angle so there's like one half of the screen is you one half of the screen is me and then it was a good example of how you just try something and it's like you don't have to get it right just start just start you know just in tv and like and just like figure it out if i had an executive and i said i need an investor in my project well what is it well come on over i'll show you what we're doing no way like get the [ __ ] out of here you guys are getting way too high you forget what you're talking about when did you make your first dollar in it besides ticket sales years in years and years yeah years in but i didn't even think about it that way yeah no just fun it was fun and then when i got people like graham hancock on i realized i can talk to like really interesting people wow and then i met aubry from the fleshlight and that became our big sponsor flashlight that's right aubry was that fleshlight
yeah he was the head guy over at fleshlight and then did a lot of stuff oh interesting it was crazy was a big one at first they were like one of the first no flashlight was your first one a hundred percent that was my first sponsor and only for a long time yeah it was because nobody else wanted to be on it when we we gave these horrendous giveaways flashlight ads these ads were just so repulsive you give them a graphic guy like [Laughter] they go through your bag at tsa what's this i'll show you it's kind of funny where podcasts came from and what it is now you know a little more professional now well that's also it's still like a big business but we we still do it kind of the same way we did it when we did it back then it's not much difference you act like how you would act if we were all hanging out yeah you know bragging out acting stupid this is exactly how we would talk yeah but now a lot of people listen that's the difference i still try to do it from weird places i know you do i love it it's so fun you like to do them in other countries and [ __ ] and doing all the lawn chairs on top of the great wall of china so let me record a podcast up here it's good we did one and uh we did one in a car like nine years ago me you and matt edgar let's try to drive it we did what did we do one out in the joshua tree on our way there or way back the car was great i mean do a few of those yeah we did uh i've done i think one from a car but we did a bunch of a plane plane yeah we had a joint cost tony and i as well we did a plane i think we did like four on planes wow but i think i did one with tommy on a plane once too me you and dana white oh that's right wow that's right flying back from australia yeah right yeah yeah we did want australia it was such a long flight that was killed two hours god had to write a book on that flight you can't even go over there now wow yeah if you go over there i think you have to quarantine for a long time and if you're not vaccinated they won't even let you in it's a wrap kids uh one more date uh me
and uh jay ogresson and bobby kelly are doing a show in uh two shows in michigan grand rapids and detroit uh pre-sale starts january 5th at noon use promo code rogan uh to get in the pre-sale is that for that too yeah are thegreat.com for that tony hinchcliffe kill tony's every monday best live comedy show in the country in the country and i'm going back on tour too it's funny you mentioned michigan i'm doing a couple cities there and uh phoenix and um uh philadelphia miami i just announced it it's all at tony hinchcliffe.com it's so fun to be back on the road in front of a live oh it is and now that you've already caught the cooties you have bulletproof immunity it's so hard for me not to be a full reporter okay i should say this again while i'm still talking about this because it's kind of it's come up multiple times i'm gonna say it again i've talked to more than one person who said they got covered twice and i know dr peter mccullough yeah who was on the podcast the other day said you can't get it twice because it's 90 percent similar to the original sars and the original stars people have long-lasting immunity i mean there is 18. nope sorry sorry it's sara's cov2 is this the original so many people test positive twice yeah so this guy said on the podcast he said you can't get it again but i know multiple people said they've got it again including mo amer um steve simone one of uh tom segura's relatives got it twice simone for sure simone thinks he got it twice wasn't the doctor talking specifically about omicron no no he was talking about kovitz oh no i'm saying that 19 was 90 similar to sars and that when people got over sars from 18 years ago they still have immunity they test for it today might me might be that it's not impossible to get it but it's way way way harder for you to get it i haven't heard anybody get it bad the second time right right mo hammer barely got anything the second time he got it but the thing is if you had it a second time you might be able to give it to somebody if she doesn't have the immunity and they might get [ __ ] up yeah it's awesome so my point is this guy's saying that you
can't get it twice i don't know if that's correct since the last time i was here i had covet um i don't i don't know what does what but just in the interest of like being open whatever yeah i immediately took based on my weight uh 18 milligrams of vibramectin like as soon as i got it i was also vaccinated so these are three two things and then another one i took those monoclonal drips that are available everywhere in florida they're begging people to come get it if you're exposed to covet like simone was they're like you can get he tested negative like you can go get that too and they're just like they're there in florida for everybody and they [ __ ] so i don't know whatever but simone was saying goodbye to his mom like what do you want me to tell your grandkids when they come you know you're not going to be around like she was dying and then the monoclonal stuff in august got around she took that and turned her around yeah it's better if you take it early right away yeah it was a long road back but it's better if you take it early but there's been you know stories about people that take it many days into it and still have good results but either way it's it's an effective treatment that people need to know about because even if you're vaccinated this shouldn't be a vaccine unvaccinated like [ __ ] you i'm not going to listen to you you're not vaccinated just listen about medicine to to these people that take it and find substantial benefits from it it works it works in everybody that i know that that's taking it i it was i tested negative in three days from testing positive i took the monoclonal drips the second day so it's two days after that i was testing negative for everything's got so political that anything that you say that's anything other than the vaccine people literally don't want to hear it especially people that are pro-vaccine they just don't want to hear it but if these things they don't hurt you if you take them right no so even if it's not that go ahead and get it i mean maybe they hurt some people i mean i think if you give enough people a thing some people are going to get [ __ ] up
by it just because of biodiversity right that's because so many people people are so different yeah there's not one i mean maybe there's like one medicine maybe there's a few minutes but people die from aspirin man people are allergic to [ __ ] peanuts a lot of people are allergic to peanuts idiots meanwhile peanut butter jelly is like the number one lunch bag delicious yeah it's one o'clock in the morning i come home from a comedy show and i'm self-destructive i will have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a big glass of milk joe joey rose's joe derosa's new sandwich place has a peanut butter and jelly sandwich hold on joe derosa has a sandwich place yeah and and like uh laurie's side what joey rose's just opened it up what did you what's he doing he's a sandwich and bar sandwich place and boom oh [ __ ] yeah he good for you did it he bought it he's just opened it wow it's great and that peanut butter jelly sandwich is my favorite but yes he's an artist with the sandwiches really oh yeah they're so so he's a sandwich artist yeah is he getting bigger because he works there uh it just opened i assume he will he's been drinking heavily for [ __ ] 25 years though i if i open a sandwich drop that would be a real problem yeah i'd get fat so quick look at that joey roses wow good for him peanut butter grape jelly ruffled potato chips how big is this place um it's a cool bar to hang out in probably like 30 40 people could be there 50. nice look at that is he still doing a lot of stand up yeah how does he juggle the two of them um look at that yeah i mean this took all right he's got a [ __ ] cool place it's a cool bar it's a cool bar to hang out wow look at that well and sandwiches what a great idea good for him oh yeah hell yeah he's a good dude too great dude don't try to one of the upper shots say no oh why he gets [ __ ] up yeah and then he's like come on [ __ ] take it and then [ __ ] an hour later it's throwing up
but it's like that old trick yeah i know myself by now [ __ ] like i know where i am okay all right let's wrap this up all right bye everybody [Music] [Applause] you