Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dTuSEyiqzzk
dude didn't do Lenny Clarke that's right how are you brother Joe I gotta tell you let me stop by say thank you my question I I can't believe the amount of people that stopped me since I did you park here could you ask me couple years ago I didn't know podcast was so I did that from the moment I left here I went down to Venice Beach guys were watching the podcast in the car everywhere I go for the captains of industry the homeless guy tear their habits Gregor's nine o'clock I saw in Rogan podcast you're awesome and of course guys almost kind of go how did you see it I seen it seen on YouTube yeah you know the progress of Technology homeless guys have phones and all oh sure I'm doing Mary Segal he's trying to rush me out of studio the other day and I said wow you know I'm not gonna mention rogue oh my god you talked about me I'm Rogan everyone called then he was all excited so he said say hello home semantics he said yeah in the morning down yeah in Boston yeah he ever since back in the day when I was delivering newspapers Maddie in the morning was on the radio he said listen to him on the radio when I was on my paper out him and Charles Locke were there oh the the mattress mattress yeah yeah and then Mike polenta yeah who passed away yes she didn't I want to see him a week before he was at the Mass General I want him Tony you know Adam laughing and then I said do you have the 80s no so I'll kiss you good-bye I said well I love you man but I'm not ever a trip with you hey he was so he did the five have after five funnies yeah blew up comedy I mean every time I did that show Ohio he was a great great guy and then they also had the comedy riot WBZ comedy run exactly are you yeah yeah yeah radio this this though is the doing this is like Qasim was 20 years ago that's how big it is I mean I mean really people from all walks of life why especially the kids Magnum the millenials I don't even know what they have but they love the show man when it comes after the Millennials what's the new wife just grabbing about Generation X I didn't like that what are you I don't know a baby boomer your baby mama baby boy hopefully 66 am i right great well not bad for 60 Jews right oh thanks you basically all the coke and ball okay [ __ ] ticket I think I'm
gonna donate the body to science just so I can see saved the others should I run some tests on ya know what thought I'd make it past 25 your era was such a great era of stand-up but we've talked about that so many times but you guys in the [ __ ] 80s really before I came along because I came along in 88 and you guys before I came along you were [ __ ] partying hard oh you know Joe it was like you could do whatever you wanted yeah come we started comedy in Boston so there were no rules and if there were any rules we'd break the rules and we made up our own rules and that's right like today you see how it is that today I really enjoy working theaters but the clubs you know the other day this person had come I hate people say he's so good with hecklers you know why cuz I hate them I don't want to deal with them I want to do the show I want to create I want to mix em but they say throw your getting going and they breaking them and you say [ __ ] that you owe and they start crying yeah yeah okay I approach I'm sorry to know plane had a guy I did a I think for Dana Farber the other night raised more money than they ever met race it was great it was an old thing with a saint a farmer dana farber it's cancer cancer research you know it's like the Jimmy Fund and stuff like that so that's why I said sure I'll do it so it was nice it was big event the Mandarin Oriental fantastic liberating and this guy comes out to Vegas you know everyone likes you but I hate you I want to rip your face off it I go hey it's nice to meet you too right so he grabs my water I go you can have it I walk away to take a picture so I come back and he says you want I go you can have it now you you know I don't know why people like you but I hate you and I'm gonna rip your face up like oh yeah yeah I said we had this conversation so not people however hey Lenny can we talk get the [ __ ] away from City screaming at people yes you you attacked my father on stage twenty years ago on a Thursday night hit granite like some gone well I don't remember what I did last Thursday say hi to your father he's dying oh hey man I had nothing to do it I've been guy wasn't they eventually had him exported out by security it was really wild but I mean yeah you know I mean
look well it shows your hecklers make weak babies oh man yeah well you know what makes a dumb kid no don't [ __ ] with somebody if you're not I mean happened over 42 years or a married but MIT two or three times you know it's a there's a lot of [ __ ] I've covered you're not gonna you know you're not gonna surprise it's a Larry's take on you can have that water I've never had security in my life you know because I'm a man I still take the teachers for shits and giggles but I mean you know Wow crazy yeah well cuz I'm thinking punch him in his throat and he'll just drop to his knees and don't even know what happened I'll say we need a medic you know get and then I'm just gonna whispers why don't you meet me outside ten minutes I'm gone I can't do that man yeah I was all dressed nice and oh if you're gonna punch some of the throat though the promise sometimes you Nick the chin the real way to do it is this this with your hand yeah just slam that [ __ ] thing in the throat right in there that's how you do it if you punch someone in the throat yeah first first of all you could say I pushed him away from me right right I [ __ ] that up now someone's gonna say but that's how you if you want to hit someone in the throat yeah and you don't want to really hurt him you want to get him the [ __ ] away from you yeah just use your open hand like that your open hand just like that it's amazing how much force you can generate with your head like that just slam it and you don't have to wind up but no this is a tender area it's very vulnerable that's what's going through my mind well this guy is screaming at me right like I couldn't believe it I said Jesus you know yeah it's unfortunate but there's there's always gonna be [ __ ] people that are unhinged oh he's always gonna be people that can't hang but what's really amazing Lenny is the amount of shows that we do how many people keep it together yes live show ladies and gentlemen Lenny Clarke it's all live it's happening you know this is not some program thing I don't know where I'm going frankly all right oh you treat me good I'll treat you better you me I'll follow you home me burn your house tada yeah I just want to make you
laugh I'm money if I have no hidden agenda about paying the bills you know I mean yeah yeah because to do stand-up now is is so much different than before because the reward you can't say words you know like you can but know what's not hey not me I can't know you're looking at an old white man couple more years down the road I'll be able to say whatever I want it's just elderly right I started paper the other day some kids beat up this 63 year old guy and it's a big like federal case against him because he's elderly I'm 66 you know and I'm not going down like that guy you know this kid's gonna be surprised now I go look I'm elderly you know yeah Jesus Christ yeah it's I just I I hope Joe I really do that this is all a cycle yes yeah yes either way it's coming around already yeah yeah I do yeah I think people are tired of political correctness and they also realized that it looked there's there's good aspects to political correctness right it's good to be kind to people it's good to be nice it's not good to [ __ ] on the down truck Oh knowledge down on people that knows my great eyes I'd rather I'd rather I'd rather have you as a friend than I really would because a lot of times you forget your enemies you you're at a party gonna oh [ __ ] I forgot I [ __ ] hate you I'd rather I'd rather you know and people say well you don't worry what people think well people think is usually watch your eyes if you're a dick the people think you're a dick well I gotta be a nice guy I've gotten way way better just lending should go I don't care I mean holding grudges and wanting to get back at someone that's nonsense it's for fools yeah there's people that they [ __ ] that they'll they grind on it all day like they'll hate someone and they just want to talk about that person all [ __ ] day and they're all it's always a waste of time it's a waste of time doesn't do you any good no no let it go let it go as as you get older I've got quite a few years I'm I'm in that thing now because someone told me holding a grudge is like drinking poison and want the other person to die yeah yep I don't have time for that I got I got other problems with that quotas for jealousy but they but it
applies with both things yeah it's the bold things it's foolish it's like look I want people to get if you and me have a dispute I'd like you to get over it I'd like to get over it too I'm not into like having enemies for life those people that want enemies for life they don't know what a real enemy is I know you don't know what a real enemy is you just you've your paper tiger you're making you're just talking this is nonsense like real enemies they want to kill you yeah you don't want to kill me I don't want to kill you so let's just stop yeah like it's a push that's a push it's most most disputes look we're all different at different points in the day at different times in our life you know you catch me and I just gotten some sort of a [ __ ] dispute with somebody and then I'm in my car I'm gonna behave very differently then if I just got a hug from my kids and then I get in my car you know I mean yes everybody's different at different points and I like you might have just got fired you might have just come out some yeah someone's having a bad day you met them on a bed yeah yeah and I usually am more than willing to give people have been fed up shy people are often misunderstood yep and and I've learned that I learned that thirty years ago if someone's shy it's not that they're they just they're shy they're afraid they'd be from it yeah and give them the benefit of doubt you know don't hate so much because they're afraid to say ah yeah yeah yeah it's uh you know people deal with all kinds of different social issues you know and a lot of people that hold grudges and they're angry what they're really doing is they're distracting themselves from their own failures you know that's really what they're doing instead of this is I've said that I said this one of the last podcast but I'll repeat it because it's very important the way I look at life is I have bandwidth I have like a hunts say I got a hundred points I don't have any points for anybody I don't care about I don't have any time for that I don't have time for things that I care and the people care about the people that I love that's what I have time for and those other things if I have to deal with them I deal with them and then as soon as I can get them out of my head
I'm gone I have a hundred points of bandwidth and that those 100 points I'd like to use 100 of them on things that I love and things that I care about and that's it positive and that's how you get by in life and that's how you become successful because if you spend your time you know thirty percent of your time wondering and pondering [ __ ] you don't like that unless you're making comedy out of it that is going to fail you it's going to cost you because you're 70 percent now you only have 70 percent for the good stuff it's not going to be as good as a hundred percent you're not gonna do as good with your comedy you're not gonna do as good as whatever the [ __ ] you do if you're a sculptor or a painter you're making music you know a certain amount art requires a certain amount I think some art requires a certain amount of angst and and an uncomfortable feeling and just something that allows you to dig deep into your emotions and create something and sometimes out of anger and hate you can get some [ __ ] amazing comedy my best FF oh yes but you gotta treat it like that like I don't don't bring it home with you I don't carry it around I mean like a bad show when I first started I upset for a weekend now it's like you know by the time it's acog oh I love this song oh it still bothers me that's my number one problem really if I [ __ ] up on state even if I [ __ ] up one bit and get a standing ovation right that one bit will [ __ ] haunt me I will go home by myself sitting in front of the TV and just go [ __ ] just [ __ ] [ __ ] and then I'll just write it out again I'll practice it again oh um you know all of you know long will you stick with a bit that to you is very funny but it's not working for the crowd oh that's a problem that's a problem I had a bit that I was doing for a while about the Second Coming project mm-hmm the Second Coming project was a group of people back in the day when genetics when they first started you know applying genetic research and their what they were gonna do is these people wanted to take samples of tissue from what they the Shroud of Turin they thought it came off the face of Jesus they found out later through carbon testing that it was really only a couple hundred years old but when these people
before they lose face come off the demo that's me I'm really proud of Jeff I didn't notice right Jenna was fair yeah Google that Google the Shroud of Turin they did a test on it I think I think it turned out to just only be a few hundred years old anyway what they were gonna try to do is they were gonna try to take DNA from that and then clone Jesus and so the bid I had was that you know with Dolly the sheep right they they tried to clone Dolly the sheep launched at times right like it wasn't like as simple as the first time they did it it worked out I'm like what if they cloned Jesus and he comes back with some birth defects like what do they do they kill him then start from scratch do they do it again like what if Jesus like what if they cloned Jesus neons Down syndrome so I had this whole bit about Jesus with Down syndrome and then instead of a cross he had a hockey helmet and then like like but the power or like he would turn dog [ __ ] in the cookies like he had like he instead of turning water into wine right it was a terrible bit but I thought it was so funny for a few months I hope a few months yeah I'm just trying to figure out a way I'm down to like three shots I tried three shots it's not working and yet when you would friends funny friends people you hang out with you'll say oh my god you should use a cousin that doesn't work well sometimes you just gotta let it go and put it aside and then come back to it later and then come back to it fresh eyes yeah sometimes but you know Chris Rock you know that bit that he had for years he had this bit there's black people then there's the n-word right you know that bit he said he bombed with that bit for like a [ __ ] year he couldn't get it to work right people get mad at him he would buy and then it became one of the greatest bits of all time yeah yeah because he stuck with it and he figured it out and he worked at it but you know he's a craftsman yeah yeah he's a guy go over his material and it running it by other comics right and they'll work on it I mean that's one of the greatest bits of all time and it he stuck through it because he just knew there was something there right I mean there's those two it's like it's hard it's hard to I knew that the second coming project was never
gonna be one of those though it was just too [ __ ] up but I remember I did a one tight at the Comedy Store and some lady goes next subject oh my god yelled out oh god I hate you she was screaming at me not subject I'll never forget that lady and I started laughing when she said it was which was not and worse I got I got an old lady story but we lived at the barracks there's 14 comedians living in that place in how it's cry don't know if you ever came by because that was pretty nice my barracks the barracks was an apartment that Mike and I had and we always uh God was a tease you know in the beginning you know when one stands a little probably before my day oh yeah eighty-eight dog sorry if I like you saying my Clark yeah yeah yeah right so we had this house and it was like three or four bedrooms and Kenny Rogers his room which was like a closet with his sheet over when you're first it's the sperm room and Kenny look we had the rent was one hundred sixty five dollars a month the man's name was wing-wang and we were working at the dingo for Shirley so 165 bucks between sometimes ten guys we didn't have it blowing it all right so now every comedian who came in from out of town they don't have to get a hotel you just go by the back so it was a key under the mat at the end it was like eleven keys under the mat but there was this old lady next door in the third floor problem we would rage all night I would break windows I just love the sound of breaking glass we have a window guy on call people say it's freezing money I'll call the window guy here I just love the SPRO thing i'm sweeney duck and i put a paw through the window and he's laying in a floor that I go sweet what's wrong with you I'm just having fun II just don't talk down to me I go when you're lying on the floor get up you know this woman she told him she goes I say hey I hate you letting like I ain't I said unless I'm going through the store you want me to get you anything and she'd yell at the top letti o'clock I only live to see you dead Oh Joey it's worse so now you know I said the flowers every now and it and she'd throw them off the balcony I don't want you up like I want you dead so she ends up getting murdered Oh No like cut up and like the capitate oh
yeah yeah so so the cops come to the house one day and I'm laying in my bed puking in a bucket and Rogerson comes in anyway said did you murder the lazy and so I sent ago no yes okay you can come in we don't think we're gonna ask you questions but where were you last second ago I don't remember I go but I but I know I got here later they worked out I was at the thing and then when hung out with after hours and I don't know where was but then I get home but you know that woman get yeah I don't think they ever saw the case but it definitely was me because I was too lazy to watch Kings three flights of stairs we stuff we just had police cars parked in her her pockets but she'd have a cop but we'd have the paddy wagon parked down below being always crazy so you have the cops come and party we yeah yeah yeah yeah most of them got let thrown off some forty never solved they never saw that case as far as I know you know there was a guy that I used to train with who got arrested I don't know if you remember this case but they they were they took this guy and they were breaking his bones with a hammer and then injecting with cocaine to keep him awake cuz he was he was blacking out from the pain oh and they cut his hands off they cut his head off they cut everything off and this dude that I knew got arrested for it and when I asked him about it he knew something like it was one of those things where like you know you ask someone like I go they arrested you I go why would they arrest you and it was like this I don't know I don't know nothing I was like oh you know something holy [ __ ] I was like oh my god I might know a [ __ ] serious murderer oh yeah yeah he went to jail for something else I forget what he went to jail I knew him when I was 16 and he went to jail and then he came out and when he came out like all his tattoos he had scars all over all of his tattoos like apparently tried to burn it's to add twos off in the joint he was like just a different person like his time in jail I guess he was in jail for like maybe at five years from when I knew him Wow came out five years later and started training again before he got arrested and just super spooky to be around somebody that you think might have done that no I I know of a few murderous that yeah yeah
I mean I didn't know at the time when I met them but over the years I thought oh my god well the guy who get the pass Johnny Martorano it wasn't sixty minutes he stops it stopped and shopping and some of all people go you know Johnny Melanie hey Lenny I went oh hey Johnny 25 murders and you know housing out deals you know I mean he did time he did a lot of time no he was on 60 how many Jamie to both kill and he was out the other met in Arizona I think he's still out yeah he's out again yeah I mean I got no Bigfoot so one of my buddies in high school his name was Bubba good he was the funniest funniest person I ever met my life brought out of that one day he stole 12 Corvettes 12 red Corvettes and lined up outside and in one of the Corvettes there was a briefcase full of cash and he went in and he bought the entire lunch room lunch lunch is on me oh yeah they lined them up outside crime is amazing so he he goes to Jay goes to war boy remember wall post you are is it okay so we do want to show at Walpole you know a couple guys ask me you coming yeah so this is it mr. Clark before you come in we just wanna let you know if there's any drugs or drug remnants on you you're not gonna be released and I went oh let me change my clothes so I changed my clothes I went in and I did the show and it was really so they would test swab you yeah it was just it was oh if they've swamped you and they found coke on your shirt yeah and this is like 35 years ago right so and this was when Walpole was still maximum-security you know I mean the worst of the worst so we go in and I'm with DJ and a couple of pages I thinks what are you doing I don't I think there was a cancer thing and then he beat that and but I got stories about but a good guy oh my god reminded about TJ or French sister so I'm on stage and I'm thinking him it bump us in here right there and he jumps up on stage and I go puppy goes are you doing it I'm in him at him on a shoe name I'm into Danny this is 35 years ago he's in Walpole under an assumed name I mean how could that be yeah anyway he gets out and then he he murders some guy and he goes back and he's in for a double life now two murders and I said to him why did you kill the guy he was
talking [ __ ] you know someone to kick his ass you make them laugh so hard you couldn't punch him he was that funny and now he said he's been in for like I want to visit him but you know they said it's not a good idea but I'm gonna go for some old now he's been he's been over 30 years now it's so funny how if you're in the nightclub business like we are you're gonna run into people along the way that have done some horrible [ __ ] oh I think I've shot a guy's head off with a saw I think a sword you know like samurai swords and then throw around the other guys lon I mean yeah yeah was it there was drugs involved I mean I remember I don't know what was crack butt crack butt crack before crack what was the freebase base watching his breath let's crack that was for people with money that was the Richard Pryor day okay which is a higher result results the first time I'm I'm free basing it like an MBTA station in South Boston and I think Kennison was yeah Kennison was there and there's this guy who's wait for life now to remain nameless but I took a hit and um I'm passing out I mean I'm so high a passer and all I could ever say what are we gonna do with the body I was the last thing whose body overdose yeah I thought it was I back him are you smoking that stuff and you're taking to stop my own heart oh because I went to when I finally went to the doctors and had the atrial fibrillation all the hotend damage they did they said what are you thinking was why no maybe the wait you know cuz I was almost 400 pounds of [ __ ] I got what about company said you had to do an awful lot of coke guys about there's a small mountain in Peru that's missing its really let me that much I go oh yeah oh yeah so yeah I it was insane well then also if you're getting coke you got to know people sell coke and I had people who would bring coke to me you know my mother said planet don't be very careful in show business people gonna try to give you drugs I don't mind I don't give it in a cell people did give me drugs I got up dealer said try Michael don't try Michael Michaels better just to hang out to be in the shop you know how it was like being with rock silence and a lot of rock stars were with us well people talk about the days the early days of Boston comedy and
it's it almost sounds fake because they used to pay you with coke yeah like I was offered money or coke right right that's how they would pay you first god I didn't do coke first time that happened to me I was in Sarasota Florida and they go Lenny it's been a great week you know we over your $3,000 how about we give you 3 grand or an ounce of coke and I said well why don't we do half and half and then that started my time travel I love Sarasota I wanted to be Jackie George open and I ended up in Tampa Tampa from Sarasota is hundreds and hundreds of miles it's not close and you drive it evidently time travel Jackie whoa God Jesus you mentioned EJ and what happened him you know cuz DJ he was really good with the ladies all you know cuz he played the guitar they all want I mean he was sinister looking yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm ever krumitz play pro captain's chair over said one night I all stop by the way somebody broke it – who broke at French crema took Barry Crimmins took a captain's chair broke it over DJ's head yeah why I don't know it made some [ __ ] evidently that was it for fun or were they angry at each other you know what no they know wasn't for fun they were pissed and they were never really close Terry was so intimidating well you know what one night a fight broke out and a guy came at Barry with a knife and I kicked the knife out of his hand and Gavin's there with a drink on that was very well done roll down onto the street and just kick this [ __ ] on and Gavin comes goes there's like a pic shaiva not one but two blades like the other day he's moving to Florida Gavin yeah yeah gasps moving to Florida and that we had a little time from and I said to him hey Don hi how you doing it's gzhel and you look great I go yeah well you know I'm I'm trying to get healthy John and how's your blood pressure you guys I don't know if I take my blood pressure like three times a day now he goes how about you yours you've taken enough for both of us that guy still goes hard oh I saw him you had a drink in his hand was still going hard it's like sorry Oh funny oh my god it's so quick so doesn't give a [ __ ] no doesn't kill teacher yep yeah more degrees than a thermometer this guy he was he was a nice guy yes he used to do
blow in the barracks till around 6:30 in the morning we'd be playing cards and he'd always want to beat everybody and he goes I gotta go wait I gotta go to teach school and he put on his jacket and now you would you don't believe how many people come into this yoga it's Gavin Ian white he was my teacher in high school now other people he was my father's teacher to this day I think he's the greatest comic that people don't know about wowed it out by the greatest common bond I remember seeing him at stitches thinking I should probably quit no I should probably quit I'll never be as good as this guy first night I see him perform I go man you were great how long you been doing this he goes this is my first time here you're full of [ __ ] he goes well nice to meet you too walked away and we and I was very jealous that a guy would just step up to say and be that good and then we would hang around together and hope that people would freak out like member Joe Lasky how could he won't he sometimes I can't go on and he leave and me and Gavin were the NHANES if someone panicked they would be at the back so Gavin goes let's get [ __ ] up and see if he cracks under the pressure well he was so smart that's why Gavin was so good it's so many things to talk about and his way of looking at things was so intelligent because any you so so did he just he legitimately didn't give a [ __ ] so everything was casual like all of his best punch lines were casual it's a story that I've never ever told and I try to be heard maybe 20 million people I don't give a [ __ ] we we went to a show what one of his buddies was a bartender at the 99 and one of the guys who worked there was sick so they asked us to do a show from a benefit the race of money so we did and he says jeez I wish I had money to pay and gamma goes who that credit card yes well that's someone left in us we'll take that as payment he goes so we go we get banged up that night he goes what's the hottest place in America right now what's the hottest place in the paper because they have other Isis Puerto Rico 90 80 O's will go on the border he goes that's us tickets gets us plane tickets and we got a we had a big bag of ball and we get on we get it Logan
and we're good boy all night Niels yeah wholeness and so we land and gaff goes where's the bubble I go I did it you did it all I go yeah I don't want to get busted going through customs that Puerto Rico's America you idiot [Music] we're checking the hotel I was I and I keep saying from what's my name again so we're not it for the weekend it's humbling us just don't draw attention to us and now I'm off why don't you I said why because what a phony credit card through Jesus Napoleon's that's right darah brag detention so we go to dinner with your the most famous restaurant down there and we get the Chateaubriand for two I've always wanted I didn't even know what it was but they come out and they cook it at the table and I'm sure Facebook everybody you're probably wondering who's getting that dish that'd be me right Gav's go and sit don't draw any attention because I'm I'll be your captain today go it's 50 bucks make yourself a general I said yeah I want to get you this $800 bottle of wine yes no no no that's drawing attention why don't we get to three bottles $300 I wanna go are you so smart right so anyway and he puts up with me he's loose so he loses a bunch gambling right and I have I'm throwing my money away on tips I'm a big tipper like whatnot so he goes like a bad nose you guys what they shut off the credit cards I go what he goes yeah there's no way for us to get back and I go oh oh why don't you take what money you've got left and go down and try to win some and send me back to Boston then I'll why your money cuz you know I'm good for all the money back then we need he goes why should I send you and I go cuz you you're like the second greatest con man of Olivia's who's the first I said Jim Rockford he goes Rockford he's not even a real person Rockford Files so Gamco stay here so I barricade myself in the room there was a big computer that made drinks was the Korean Hilton I think yeah yeah I wasn't with and you could push buttons and it would make all different drinks I drank that empty right against the door Gavin goes let me add a smidgen I got us two tickets I go yeah I finally fell asleep because I was a nervous wreck so we fly out and get was so he got money gambling he got money gambling it
and I don't know how he did it I didn't ask but he got us both back to the boss and he says I'm never going anywhere with you ever again and but the thing was second-greatest commented or he's not even real anything oh god that's he was brilliant camera was what year was this well she's just had to be 87 88 god oh I mean think of that we're going to the hottest place we almost went to Venezuela thank God what time of year was this it was the fall okay so starting at sucky yeah yeah yeah what's known yet oh right thing you know I used to think that it was bad to that weather but now I think it makes better people I really do make stuff up yes yeah but I get a tiny resilient yeah but I'm you know you ever what you're away from me you don't live that I mean three years three years ago we had like 10 feet of snow in three days yeah you know people jumping up that their flow windows just to get out of the house yeah I wanted I want to get away from no I get it I don't want to live there no I don't want to live there but I think growing up there did me a lot of good well you know what there's a lot of advantages to be it does make you a tougher person more resilient and they have the best education the best doctors I mean it's an educational Boston is excellent and Amana medical I mean anyone with money who gets sick yeah you know go to Burbank they fly it to the mga there's more colleges per capita in the Boston area than anywhere in the country absolutely the thing about it though is I couldn't get into any of them when you're in the cold there's something about there's like a certain camaraderie that everybody shares when you're stuck yeah sucks you have people yeah push out an elderly couple and then you'll hang on the pump stay drive away that [ __ ] I've never done any of that around here around here I'm like if you got a flat tire you [ __ ] figure it out it's warm out you yeah you can call somebody back east they'll come quicker than your neighbor if he is out here for 12 years yeah your story out here is one of the most horrific stories about what can happen if you get a crooked agent oh you know I've told many guys a story oh you know we talk about murder you're very lucky that you didn't want a murder in
your agent I knew where his kids went to school I knew you know I knew where he was well tell everybody what happened I think you might have talked about this before but I saw this podcast yeah I I became I became like really big vision show yeah tell them I shall named after me see this is like what ninety three ninety ninety nine yeah it happened so long ago I think they're gonna colorize it Joey's other things I can't find I mean I have like the VHS of it someplace you know but you can't go on YouTube and find Linux you know there was seventeen Lenny seventeen or eighteen lemmings and the show was the the highest-rated show since all in the family on CBS it was a great show it was a great show I've that an amazing cast and the guy who played my father Eugene Roche he just chopped me everything I never acted am I caught the perfect wave the Roseanne way Kim all those guys were getting soccer moms and you got one too I was my show started the Sifl started and Seinfeld didn't have a great first year right we had a great first year we were doing amazing and then the first Gulf War broke out and that that killed me you know Lenny will not be seen tonight so we can bring in the war in the Gulf and then when they brought me back there was the the World Series no Lenny was admitted for the World Series and then they changed me from from I forget one night I was on but they brought me to find that of a Friday night so which is like that death the TV and you know when I went from having everything you know I mean I had a mansion in the marina you know a Playboy model wife who happened to be a coke dealer I mean what could go wrong and then this guy they said you need an agent and I guess I'm on Seinfeld and Leno's agent and the guy at the time was both both of those guys were with him and he would be getting it's a you want Seinfeld will hire this guy he wants Leno hire this guy well I was that guy and if they were having rich or Jenny who he was a monster moms he was a monster console and maybe they'd be hiring him to open open for me and this new guys you know I mean why work if you don't have to I mean yeah I
would he'd make me work my ass off you Jenny was one of the greatest of all time is nothing are that people forgot about I sing his praises on this podcast all the credibly fine and I could along with him he was a nice guy you know I mean we always hit it off you know and he would but he was a monster comic man he was somebody I don't think I'm funny in anything I'm insane and I've made my money being insane I got no problem with that you know cuz anyone goes oh it's funny it was file you know it's funny the new asian kid coming up you better watch your back oh oh there no Indian get cuz it's all everything's new watch out for the new guy I don't care yo I get all be funny I just want to act now I don't want it doesn't matter how often you doing stand-up these days yeah I deal with the pay the bills you know I work I work then giggles you know I work giggles at least once a mic cuz you can't walk away no you lose you're fast you lose if you lose you're fat yeah yeah you will you know and I mean I do I do a lot of charity work and I do that because what made my parents happy and it's the right thing to do you know plus I told hot for the Mass General and they've kept me alive over the years you know what I really that's the truth Joe you know do you remember Eastside comedy club in Long Island yes yes Richard Jeni was there one weekend and they said he did four different hours he shows Friday to show Saturday they said he'd never repeated a joke yeah and we were all sitting around it was me and Joey Cola and a cup of the comics because look at the jungle looking at the ground shaking her head going what [ __ ] yeah Wow yeah how does he do it and it was all a stuff a you know it wasn't like I do two different hours in one night and enjoy this yeah yeah but it was all a stuff agent craftsman he was she was rocked by the way him and rock worked on a lot of Chris Rock's earlier specials he worked with Richard Jeni no kidding yeah Richard Cheney would like they were tighten up bits together yeah at the Apollo did a lot would ask me if I was a great job he's a fantastic writer and any and he he gets in trouble all the time just for writing great stuff yeah you know and oh you know he's always not get him Nick is always not given the
phone no he's always had that Africa [ __ ] out of here he's always had that and it kills me I mean it's just what's up with people go I'm offended you know what I'm offended that you're offended so I raise you be an offender [ __ ] you why was that you happy with that I remember when I first saw Nick at stitches I made me excited because here was this guy who look like a football player yeah handsome football player back he's thick had a full jet black hair good looking good great looking guy but drives funny as [ __ ] oh you don't have to be a nerd to be a comedian oh so but I mean growing up in Boston that was a really good thing to learn because you guys like you and Sweeney and Kevin Knox is his big [ __ ] men big men but we're at nerds and people would say sir what an imposing line now Kevin Knox you you know but people he used to come in said a ding ho open mic night and we put on like 40 people on here and one night someone brought in a big bag of blow and I said to her not yes just listen you're up next he goes I can't he'd be in every week would with a couple of broads he had his own table was like a condo table his table and he just loved comedy and I said hey man you're up next he goes I've never done I said just cover me for anyone and he never looked back and he got him better and Betty had the long flowing hair and a tennis star I mean it was a full instructor yeah he had what's called like a mullet or mullet yeah but it was even more than a mullet it was flow it was a fan on him at all times the air was flowing and he was that first guy that I knew that was a comic that was like really in his health he was always hogging oh yeah I saw him and taking vitamins you know yeah speaking the health how are you doing I'm great did you have a shoulder or a back thing they know better gang of things yeah I've always had something because that was just because I beat the [ __ ] out of my body yeah I remember when I was listening to one of your podcast and you were talking about shoulder surgery and how you weighted it with stem cells exactly no a buddy of mine this Navy SEAL he said to me I was having back problems and kronk gave me some of that CCBC I saw some out on your phone yeah yeah and I needed
that because I did I just did this movie where I had a fight scene oh he calls me up he goes hey how you doing let me out whoa excited about having how's your back go back fine and I just heard it the night before driving in the car like a three-hour drive it's just I couldn't move I said to Gronk I need some of that stuff and it helped me oh yeah it really worked I couldn't believe it well it's all about inflammation and CBD is fantastic at reducing inflammation I take it every day every day yeah I believe in it wholeheartedly yeah I haven't tried that I just tried the rub once enough you know the rub on stuffs great – yeah drops are more effective the way to do with those to do both you do the drops and the rub on stuff it's not like you get overdose on CBD it's not even psychoactive it just reduces inflammation yet of course Iceland but the stem cell stuff which I am all for you know I mean I mean there's this NBC was telling me my banks and lemme they there's a place in Dallas I guess they can inject you into your bloodstream and it goes to trial appache yes yeah exosomes it's not just in Dallas they do it here in Santa Monica real lifespan medicine yeah shoutout to dr. Ben Rudy yeah I've had it Joey yeah see that's what about you you got that Jim up there which is amazing I said to one of the guys our work fishes this Joe like you know chase know Joe buys everything Joe wants to be beholden to no one I go yeah Wow I wish I could be like that I'm holding to everybody I don't want I know you know if you if you have someone sponsor or you right you have to get their [ __ ] and maybe it's not the best [ __ ] i buy that rogue equipment yeah I buy it they don't give me a discount it's the best [ __ ] you can get those CrossFitters uses [ __ ] phenomenal it's all rock-solid [ __ ] space-age running thing is crazy that's insane here oh yeah but you know what I like even better that air run and the one that you propel yourself treadmill is so strong no Air Assault treadmill yeah yeah that's amazing yep you put it out yourself yeah yeah it doesn't it's not a motor you know like a regular treadmills no do you press a button and you just keep up with the Machine yeah this doesn't have machine this is you actually pulling it so it's 13% harder than regular running Wow yeah
but less on the joints yes that's in the joints there's no pounding he gives in it's very gentle see cuz when I was fat and morbidly obese my knee I would still jock cuz I I wanted to come down I didn't want to fight you all these people go I'm happy with myself the lydian know wants to be happy you're not exercising than they are you know exercising because they just don't like doing it so they say I'm happy being this way but if think you could give them a pill and say hey look I'll give you a pill and you're gonna look like Jason Momoa whoa okay I'll take it oh I'll take it now you a ticket I took the last thirty pounds that I lost they get down to the 200-pound Pluto at actual Washington or abouts were drops from this like New England fat loss and they would drop so you know all all organic and suffer and then recently took my DNA and they match up the foods that affect your body with any inflammation and it's stuff like I'm gonna oh man I go because you know as well as I do you can work out till the cows come home but if you eat those cows when they come home you're gonna be a big fat bastard you've got to eat right it's it's 80 percent what you eat 20 percent what you do you know you work out any better I work out for my head you know I because II to keep the demons oh yes yes but but your wheat right – yes yeah you've got – yeah yeah Sugar's the number one thing get the [ __ ] did get that [ __ ] the [ __ ] out of your life get rid of sugar I mean you know have a cookie occasionally yeah nothing wrong with that but the people that have sugar every day that drink sodas and they drink so doesn't eat candy bars you're killing yourself you know I but surely I got off the desserts by going to the mad Russian you ever hear this guy yeah I have heard of him Brooklyn he's got like an 86 percent success rate for no smoking right every now and this team the mad Russia was an actual name it's in there when you google him up he'll he'll tell you I don't know mine yeah he's in Brookline and he's old he's like 87 88 years old right so I we had this thing for fat loss you know not anything would fat loss I'm always looking at yeah well yeah same say is that EFM superself right that's a bend and look at his hands and that's what when those hands
are in that position I'm not the hypnotist no no I don't drink soft drinks I'll drink of you multiple sclerosis is what he says an eraser of addictions depression anxiety and phobias he works with smokers drug addicts alcoholics and Overeaters celebrities who say they have had success with his treatments include Billy Joel drew Barrymore David Arquette Courtney Cox Arquette and Amy Tan where the [ __ ] is Amy Tan and why isn't Lenny Clarke on there you go what I couldn't get in four years so one day I go to see him and we go any three hours this guy's talking and you know yeah I'm not the imposition and I'm listening to everything I want to get on there for chocolate cake Joe chocolate cake is my kryptonite I get Oh God any kind of cake put the jug at all yeah I didn't know whether to [ __ ] read it sometimes both so anyway now I go and I listen to him and and and at the end he goes okay now we go one-on-one and I didn't know we're going one I'm gonna go so I want you to tell me what you're doing with these not now okay close your eyes and tell me what you don't i Swami it for the chocolate cake I said all right chocolate cake Pizza Man cheese the next night I'm in a knot then I have all three it didn't work however I never I never drank that I was drinking ten camps a tab a day that was in my Ryder I only have one thing in my Ryder case a tab it was a joke that's what I drank you know some people drink diet cola I drank tab you know those cool paint cans yeah Deb what a beautiful gene tell me if he knows if that isn't even know could the Millennials flip out everything about me I'm like a I'm like a Stone Age person too that's cool so now I don't drink that and I find myself Trish drink water water sighs it you know what that guy hit me he hit me with the right thing I gotta go back five years I tried to get back in and couldn't do it a Father's Day about seven years ago there's an opening and I go and in the room of people from Switzerland Spain Argentina Greece a couple people from New England and me and because I've seen you before you you do not have to pay again I go no no I'm not here for that it's a 65 bucks I wanted I want in so I listen I listen he goes okay now we have the one I want mate I'll go first
so we're going to meet goes okay – close your eyes what you don't what the thing with never not just for a month but forever you'll never have again i okay the chunk like the cake kept up [ __ ] all desserts but everything with its pastries everything them a puff next day I go to the bakery and and Summerville and a places cried like a Lenny come right off the front cuz I'm good for a big but sailing what do you want nothing and where I haven't had a dessert in seven years now what brain is my thing well cremate what you still get what cream you don't get dessert no dessert no dessert pastry cream a lot of bit of um come any ball like a bowl these drop it out with a spoon I will sometimes I don't even use the spoon i Scott face the thing right up whipped cream with pudding it's pretty goddamn good chocolate pudding with whipped cream c-c-cold whipped cream and wormwood English very made it like if you just made it oh this is like food porn alright welcome to food please people don't know about warm pudding because nobody makes pudding that's right as [ __ ] I just buy it they but my mother used to make them won't put in my badge smelly smell I remember from my childhood but today nobody [ __ ] makes pudding no [ __ ] makes put it no that's why I buy it right like I had already made I have the whipped cream we go to a fancy restaurant and cinema if you want some dessert maybe I will submit so what about hewing give me a bowl of whipped cream Gold over cream and they bring everyone ever you looking at me what does he have I have a bowl of whipped cream the mind your business a good move oh it works why don't they just sell that a bowl of whipped cream that would probably fly off the shelves maybe I should open up a franchise whip it might be cool whipped cream hey nobody [ __ ] new Starbucks is gonna take off till Adele man you know when we were kids you get a cup of coffee was like 50 cents or 25 cent right you go to a diner it was easy now the coffee's $3 for a small coffee five never venti yeah yeah I bought that but two coffees are small and eleven dollars that's crazy hey office it's just coffee yeah yeah but something happened Starbucks figured it out make them junkies turn everybody in no
coffee junkie why doesn't Coco get you hi Coco yeah Coco well it's not the same stuff well doesn't Coco come from the cocoa leaf no cuz that's how ah well see that's my god that's what cacao besides it's just I'd have a lot of schooling to go girl but I cook ow it is not what cocoa comes from become it doesn't come from coca leaf coca is cocaine but you know you know I know Joe that I know you know yeah it's great it's a it's like let's let's see what's at the top of the mount oh my god well you know I went I went down to cada Haena uh I went on a TNT travel right nineteen like $199 I took this name I put there's a cocaine tour yes I'm Joe didn't have it took me almost a day and a half to find the blow when I got the gotta go amen can we get you anything mr. yeah I want a lot of blow as much you get me now we don't have any but do you mean you know that's where you're making that's why I come to see you we said that all through America anger there's got to be a shipment that didn't go and it's gotta be one way get senior Lenny the blow so we ended up going the way they made I was doing the holy smokes for like $180 why what's the normally cost a couple grand a bar we're about the time at the time I don't know you listeners I'm sure we'll know Google at your son's a pictures a mad okay you know it's like you said people say very horrid things I'm making this [ __ ] up great okay yeah I make what I wouldn't imagination I would have yeah whacked I am it's a person you know I mean I know it's a corroboree oh oh there's a lot of witnesses that's why I've been written a book a few more people got to die first who you hope and dies first for the book comes out you know dead died that I ripped a love died yeah I heard today right okay now when I first started doing comedy Hollywood Squares yeah I did it with him oh yeah I did that was great hey one of the nicest sweetest boy in my job I used to write comedy when I first started and I'd spend time in my room I saw everything on Lenny Bruce I've just delved into and Lenny used to listen to his tapes for hours on end I didn't realize he was listening to his performances I thought he was sitting in a room with the tape running and well
he'd say something a blank tape right so I started I go let me doing something wrong so I write jokes I swear to God I write yeah yeah you think that I want people not up so I go down I go mom what do you think of this joke Aris you I don't know I guess it's funny I hope your guess is funny well who do you like yours I like Rip Taylor Rip Taylor you know he has sex with little boys my kitchen I love why do you think Hyde's made 1757 varieties you're the only funny person wrote get the hell out it and I I hate a Rip Taylor because he was my mother's favorite comedian I wanted to be a favorite comedian so I'm working the dunes this is 35 years ago man and polish I'm up by the pool and I'm drinking it out comes Pauly Shore and who's you with Rip Taylor and I go oh my god well he introduces them to me and before I can get two words out of my mother he's got me crying he's one of the funniest people quick funny oh look at that what a buffet for me you know I said am i saying well I said would you do me a favor yeah sure whatever I said would you would you say a lot of my mother for caller on the phone yes of course I would so late and they bring the phone up with a long cord this is old yeah yeah yeah so I got my my I get someone wants to say hello to you Hey hello Jean it's Rip Taylor oh he spends like Oh minutes on a phone so sweet and I go I love the guy ever ever since then and you know I didn't I was lashing out it was a kid I didn't know but one of the sweetest guys and I got to work with him at the Hollywood Squares and we did a couple of benefits together but but I sweet sweet and and funny as hell yeah I never got to meet him but he was a funny guy so love him on Hollywood Squares Oh God they would always come to him when they wanted a little comic relief absolutely yeah well you know I'm gonna tell you something that this feel they give you the answers to that show do they really yes No [Applause] right there you know you could make up your they gave that for people who aren't funny but you could you know cuz I was drawing my own stuff out there I wonder when I was really getting caulking you Carla oh I did this the one way uh Henry Winkler was producing I love him have you met Henry I love him
he's one of them I did a movie with Henry he was the greatest guy oh he wrote a book called there's no idiots on the river about fly-fishing he loves fly-fishing oh yeah you know what the toughest part about fly-fishing is well telling your parents you're gay know what happens joke she's a thief my wife's a big fisherman really oh god yeah she's didn't you live on an island I live on Martha's I still live my room Obama lived on my road what is it like you can get near the house [ __ ] guys with guns everyone guys with guns everywhere really well when he was through active president they wanted the road twice a day so the dust won't rise when they're completed I swear that God as God as my judge so I would pull up our secret security say hey man tell us a joke funny man and I tell him a joke if they laughed they let me go because the next roads there was this was the Plymouth every Road stop you know to see if you even belong in that property this is about 60 houses in my place where I live in a I got like five and a half acre estate I married wealthy again Joe y'know yeah oh yeah I said that oh yeah and she's she's a fisherman world-class fisherman would a boat you know captain do yeah sure and she takes me I'm pulls me alongside these shocks and I go no get the we pulled up alongside a basking shock that they had to be 2,000 pounds having biggest thing I've ever seen go ahead and pet it I go I'm not gonna pet it doesn't have teeth that can't bite you yeah that's all any clocks come dead by a giant secret you get the [ __ ] but I've been on a boat three times this year with great whites she's got a 32 foot boat almost more than half the boat that big great ones yeah they're everywhere that everywhere there's a lot of amount in Martha's Vineyard oh yeah yeah they were saying around the Cape there's a lot around the Cape I got an app it's called shhhhh activity and what and when they tagged all these great whites and when the great whites come their way you up baby it goes off and I go oh and you look out you can see them incredible there's a video of this this guy and this shark comes by the boat and you can't even believe it's
real that you've seen that video that's what that was all my wife's Facebook page was that from the key that was from the vineyard it was yeah okay yeah it's it's insane it's like a 20-foot long shark yeah it's so big it doesn't even make sense Joey it looks fake yeah that's fake it's not fake no it's unbelievable what the [ __ ] do they eat out there whatever they want yeah what seals seals there's a lot of seals and when if you ever see seals and you swimmin is just leave the water cuz the sharks are the landlord did you ever see the video off of Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco where a great white mercs a seal right in front everybody yes holy [ __ ] that video huh guys I'm credible and the water feels would pledge and that brings all the shots just blood everywhere and the people are like gathering around the water watching it like holy [ __ ] looking off the dock do you remember Curt Gowdy yes yeah his son Trevor Gowdy came to me and said was that what it was that the why Burton Ellis was yeah yeah cookout here and he did all this he did the first five Super Bowls and I mean he was the man his voice yeah so his son said we want you to do this thing for the outdoor life channel wait your fish and I I'm not a fisherman I suck at this you guys don't know he said we'll use your wife's boat and you can be the celebrity I said okay because we've done five or six celebrities all right I said okay what we had the blue fish no that's been done albacore done stripe is done what are we going shark shocks I said so we go out in this really rough day man and we'll go up we go out about sixty miles and the waters rough and halfway out we stop and catch bluefish I forgot their debate oh my god so we get out 70 miles eighty miles offshore I cast the line within 20 seconds I got a 400-pound Mako on my line all right and a blue 400-pound blue and I'm going oh man they go reel it up with your make it you know look for long the TV I got [ __ ] you added it this thing's heavy right so then she cast and she catches a 500-pound mako I said you couldn't let me be the stop for 30 seconds so now did we do – shoot it's it's unbelievable our show a year later
I'm going through Kansas City and guy comes something it's hey hey man I saw you on that fishing show with the shocks I go yeah he goes you're the worst fisherman I've ever seen him yes I am I suck at that yeah but I bet you you huntin and I saw you shooting guns the other day yeah I just shot well at the Matt Light shootout you know he played for the Patriots and you drive around the Gulf cats with shotguns it's a lot yeah it's amazing Jeff cars are sorry yeah yeah and you shoot skeet oh yeah yeah and you can't drink until after it's over the first year you could drink why you were doing it no I got hurt but you know the other people would rules you know so now I couldn't get the skates or how he shook off limbs the trees your boom hey you play that guy's view but now I'm in so every year I'm in the celebrity quick-draw you know what's a pistol because long long guns I'm pretty good I'm gonna say I'm really good that long grunts but pistols not so much but I'm fast so I mean like if you needed a guy to lay down suppression fire I'd be a guy so we got drawn I have gggg I don't hit anything but this year I hit four out of five I saw you shooting the other day you're pretty good shot not really I'm learning up all I want a gun I when you see a guy like this guy named Taryn Butler who runs that Taryn tactical place we see him shooting like a world champion shooter right you go oh okay yeah I get it there's levels does well host joash I look slow as [ __ ] to us someone like you I shot with the fastest guy fastest pistol guy in the world and you know he said lennier very fast but you're horrible aim you have no a.m. yeah annoying whatsoever but you're very quick well I'm learning about world the world of competitive shooters because that Terran tactical place yeah me and Tom Segura we started down there okay because have you ever seen Tom stand up no [ __ ] I heard he's [ __ ] like I've seen something stuff on YouTube yeah he's great we worked together for the first time 12 years ago with Charlie Murphy recipes yep yeah and Charlie and John Heffron we're doing this Maxim Bud Light comedy tour yes and we toured around the country and they would have a local guy open up and do a few minutes before
Heffron and have formal going up baby it would be either me or Charlie after him and segura went up in Phoenix and [ __ ] I was so funny I couldn't believe how funny was oh my god I didn't know who he was I'm like how long you been doing he's only been doing like a few years yeah and we became great friends ever since and now you're up shooting but then we do the sober October thing every year with Ari Shaffir and Bert Kreischer and one this year we have to take ten different classes of something anything yoga class boxing class so we started taking tactical shooting and learning you know just learning how to shoot pistols correctly because I knew how to shoot rifles hunting yeah I've never never the only thing I've ever I've shot pistols before with no instruction I just pulled the driver and right you know was Kenny Rogers and says that I am the worst hunter in the world because when I moved to the vineyard I remember the first year everywhere out there isn't it I didn't know that and I came home one night lit up and I got out of my car and I did just popped in front of the door I backed up and stepped on a while turkeys foot off whatever I got it so I'm not holy [ __ ] baby so must be this update that broke out and it's what these animals like they're not gonna live around my property so I got a gun right and and the squirrels read all my bird feed and I have feed the birds and so I'd say I'm gonna kill you bastard Jim first I was throwing furniture right them and I got a couple of but then I I didn't want I really want to kill him but I think I like to shoot the tail off you know maybe right but the bastards move and I'd get him in the head I go now so this poor suffering I go now look what you made me do ya you're stupid badgering him no nothing's good well what's good well yeah I give them today I give them to the people in the neighborhood you know but but I don't kill him cuz I feel bad when I get cuz I don't want to kill him I mean I'm not one of these didn't wanted to eat the bird food exactly yeah we had a problem with our chickens the squirrels were getting into the chicken coop but he's not a chicken food well the deer not a deer my wife's weren't there today I totaled
the caddy caddies gone uh yeah so the other night I'm coming home I be not to swerve is what I go for him I chased the passage all I Jason might well feel I didn't get him but but you could die that way too yeah oh yeah cuz you know my friend cam his he lives in new Eugene Oregon and a guy in his neighborhood guy in front of him hit a deer and it flew up in the air and landed through his windshield and killed him oh yeah so guy driving down the highway guy in front hits the deer boom Oh deer comes flying through the air bang right through the windshield the second guy oh yeah guys that's where I never follow anyone always lead leaving like that be the lead pony man look behind me that's not matter but with the with the deer you know when I got there I had I had a partial view of the ocean you know there has to be a real ocean view and I know at the time I was the only one that's a be terrible if a typhoon came into college trees down and the trees came down but I replaced every tree that was missing we brought up – I see you're saying two nurseries of course you do nursery step we're going to chop trees down evidently you didn't do that I why would I talk I'm a law-abiding person I understand so I bought two nurseries going out of business we have five hundred trees not over six feet tall but then we had gods and vegetables and stuff like that and the deer were eating them and I'm at the beach one day and I'm pissed off from see he's got them there and it's this this old guy cut some excuse me excuse me I overheard your conversation this is what did don't eat and he gave me a list like 50 things so I went out and bought everything and I'm week later I saw hey [ __ ] evidently my deer can't read because they ate all of that and then I just so I I'm not good at killing stuff Ally I did kill a couple you know my mistake I really did I try squirming you know they ran into the bullet as opposed Lucien well this was a 22 like the rifleman I love my favor for men yeah yeah I used to love that job I got one just like that right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I got really good with it you know so like when I was repeating were like a Henry rifle exactly exactly I still make those you know Henry rifles is like a big rifle company Kenny came down one
weekend Kenny Rogers and stayed up all night he refused to sleep went through about 300 rounds and the gun was still smoking the next morning and I gotta get it fixed now he like it's so I have I have other guns but anyway I I would call I'd call up my my kid take a team and get oh you want a day yeah I'm on my way so he came over he's how much you kill I go oh just this morning tomorrow yeah and I go cuz I was firing into the bushes scared I got them so is there a rule on how many you're allowed to kill during season table by this great door open yeah yeah but I don't I don't I don't do it anymore but but but it's just Jay Miller I love you know Jamie little hockey player for the Bruins he they hide him to protect Gretzky years ago I mean I don't think he I think he may have lost one fight in his life he's a tough tough son of a [ __ ] anyway the hockey's 10 tests 10 best for top fights he's in like three of them so he says can I come huntin you properly I go that'd be great come over and kill all my dear so he gets like six or seven guys and they come over with these unbelievable bandoleros and [ __ ] so so he's people on an destruction they're all these big trucks and I go hey man I'm so glad yeah god kill everyone you can fight us oh no man it's not deer season we're killing rabbits there and you hear my wife and I gotta go out and tell these [ __ ] monster hunt this is a man listen to me my name is both of my name is a gone gonna kill everything every rap but I mean imagine that you know I'm telling he's just aa strong yeah what they look like Mexicans go down there to kill rabbits that seems ridiculous no all the way to Martha's Vineyard to kill rabbit there's a lot of rabbits that man there's rabbits and skunks right and and someone someone brought skunks are not indigenous to the vineyard so this [ __ ] brought skunks over because he was pissed off at some other rule he couldn't do oh man he left and they multiplied Netaji baby skunks you know said he brought skunks over to piss somebody else on yep yep yes this guy I know I know yeah it'll come to me I'll text them there's a few little animals but they'll they'll [ __ ] your chickens up to you know skunks or predators don't [ __ ] your dog up oh yeah yeah you know I mean and if you got a cat just pray this
[ __ ] oh god man I gotta bathe him in tomato juice and work my dog got zapped it doesnõt the dog out here no Marshall but when I was a kid my dog in Boston got zapped yeah tomato just didn't do jack [ __ ] she stopped four [ __ ] weeks oh yeah we kept shampooing her yeah oh good you know when you asked is there a limit for the animals you can kill when I killed my first Turkey I thought that some guy owned all these what and when there was three missing I go he's gonna know his dream is he's gonna come up here and give me hot [ __ ] you know get rid him and they cooked it and was really gaming I had a piece of not good way to cook it right you got to prepare it right man I had wild turkey yeah really good yeah I'm sure if you do it right yeah these guys they don't eat everything I just you know when is there a hunting season on Martha's Vineyard deer yesterday really yeah I think it's twice and then there's bow and arrow season cuz I let some guys put up stands in my yeah I got five out of a kit how many deer do you have out there a lot of deer Joe I'm honest tears and and you know I've noticed there's a lot of 12 you had a lot of 12 point bucks these are elk okay well there was a 10-point buck in my property that a guy back then Wow it's I think deer yeah it's huge yeah yeah little days you know – Bambi dancing I mean you know there's no predators no that's the thing about Mars it's raining you know if they're out on that island yeah how the [ __ ] they get out there I don't know Joe I have no idea of the guy brought the skunk's in I know that I don't know but they might have swam right they could swim they can you know they can swim I've seen him swim across rivers and if you if you swim on a on a calm day from Falmouth to the vineyard it's probably five six miles you could do that it could be done you can't beat that for sure yeah and who knows it might have been closer at one point in time you know they have the Cape Cod Rail railroad train and they had a bear take the train Joe I swear to God get on the gaff and straight and he was eating the garbage drove across the canal you know they've let the railroad push it out and the bear is shower down and they know and even people call this a
bear on the train and I go yeah that's very funny and they ended up down down near the bottom of the Cape well there's a shitload of women Pasadena really yeah they hop in people's pools that's a real problem one of my favorite videos this guy's walking down the street looking at his phone yeah he's just looking at phone not even paying attention and he literally a bears like from you to me although they turns and runs away and the Bears like oh they're black bears we're not that dangerous look what you can be what would you rather have in your pool a black bear or an alligator a black bear yeah I mean yeah because you could talk to you could talk to the baby scare the bear oh yeah yeah look at this one this is these two old people is this pasty in as well so so these two old people don't even pay attention and watch the guy locks his door walk away and this [ __ ] bears our hello oh my god like a nice bear well it's residential bears what it is they're used to being around people that's that's a habituated bear that's the problem I'd like to teach him how to drive a lawn mower Pasadena is a beautiful place imagine having your bed drive the lawnmower did you ever you ever work out there and Pasadena at the ice house yes I have yeah yeah 130 years you can love it out there and so you know they're there butted up against mountains out there yeah you know it's pretty close to Big Bear as well so there's a lot of bears out there in the area and they'd hop in people's pools and swim around people come home this [ __ ] mama bear two cubs swimming around their pool don't [ __ ] the mama but no no no yeah for people been jacked so far just this bow hunting season in Montana by Grizzlies and it's almost always a mama bear with Cubs no where do you go in Montana well I haven't hunted in Montana in a few years last time actually I hunted in Montana was with Bourdain we went pheasant hunting outside of Bozeman but my wife my wife's get a place in Bozeman Bozeman's fantastic it's unbelievable orgeous you ever go to that hotel where that guy rode the horse into the elevator he was in stripes I figured it was because I was away the guy right there was over there yeah yeah the guy
who was the drill sergeant there I'm he did a lot of movies anyway yeah um I haven't been to that one but yeah Bozeman's [ __ ] great but most I hunt in Utah I've hunted in Colorado I've hunted in Alaska I've hunted in a lot of places Montana it's amazing we went there after the Whittier earthquake cuz she felt no so we left the first flight out was Utah in it from Utah we went to Bozeman so just to hide whatever falls apart yeah right yeah so so now we go into the Yellowstone and they're snowmobiling you know and and I had never done that you know I mean I made me fun there were no rules I mean well to go to Yellowstone now Clinton had it you have to go on a tour back then you could go just rent through and go off on your own oh really oh yeah and they have went and changed that yeah she did Clinton changed I don't know catch me [ __ ] you know it's double stays on the trail I went I ended up going to Old Faithful yeah the Old Faithful Lodge and you know I was still smoking and drinking I think back then yeah and we I wanted to see if that that Old Faithful even went off every hour on the hour and so I went out it like for monitoring I think it's a scam I think everybody I'm gonna be a investigative reporter so I'm smoking a joint and I'm out that's just me and out comes this this elk from the other side he looks at me and I look at him [ __ ] with this guy and the thing went off and we both looked in them we both just bagged the wild man in it sometime gonna tack recently a lady yeah by an elk yeah yeah and I'm if well you know what they will [ __ ] with it they're trying to take trying take selfies especially right now because they're [ __ ] right now this is this is a rut like right now it's towards the end of the right cuz we're into October but the rut is basically from like the first week in September to somewhere around the last week in September it might go on sometimes it'll rut into October in California this do they'll still rut right now they're still run out right now for them when they [ __ ] it's called a rut yes well I'm not [ __ ] that's a right now I've just come out of a right what happened in West Yellowstone it's the snowmobile capital
of the world and they have guys that come up from Michigan would souped-up snowmobiles that you know like like rockets and there's gang some nice people realize well and then I met some they're in a bar and everyone in my shell stone drives around on the streets yeah in the snowmobiles there's more some of us than cars I didn't see that many cars so I'm pretty [ __ ] up and I start getting cocky after day two honest Nova and I go up off this Ridge when I'm a airport and I come down in some [ __ ] trees that's all so now the snow is buried right and my wife comes what the [ __ ] have you thought how we get I don't know help me help me we can't pull that up and who comes up with the guys a mitten about it morning ten of them and they pulled it out with me and they said you should be able to make it back and I go Wyatt while the Front's all [ __ ] up and I went okay so we bring it back and she's what he gonna tell the guy I go I'm gonna tell him we get charged by Buffalo and and it's what I saw so she she checks in her and I call the guy who excuse you so I got to talk to pay someone i mean what happened i see what happened here he goes what happened and she goes I walked over just as the guy was in by Buffalo huh oh I said kid I've never heard that story ever I've never heard any charge of my buffer guess 150 bucks I said great it's a charge in three I would have paid it was all [ __ ] up the light we're broken but you can't do that anymore last time I was in Aspen we rented snowmobiles and there's like a course that you go they'd take you on this run and they'd take you all the way up into the mountains is a whole area they can take you they stop you get hot chocolate you overlook this trout river [ __ ] fantastic oh it's really cool Aspen is amazing Joe I want up to Aspen with a buddy of mine who owns the Angelo sub shops you know prime o'clock these great guys why do you call you some shops D'Angelo see would you buy yourself from a guy named uh no sorry we fly out this Chevy stop in Vegas and we end up at the Glenn Frey at Podolak tournament it used to be Glenn Frey Jimmy Bob Nichols yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah how cool is that right so now we're uh we're out there and we check into this hotel Jerome right and he said what do you want to do Lenny I
said well you know I really like to get a mountain bike and come down that that's ski slope so he rents three SUVs there's like 12 us and we went mountain mountain bikes you know and he takes us up to the head to the top of like the Continental Divide or some [ __ ] okay let's go and then oh guys I had flip-flops on right no I went down at 14,000 feet I'm passing [ __ ] cars hey somebody get that [ __ ] one so the SUV's Brian wants you to [ __ ] kill this is like a 10,000 foot drop on a sign here all right man all right cuz it was it was just so much [ __ ] fun you know I don't give me [ __ ] so he ends up getting bumped by one of the guys in the group real [ __ ] no one like that anyway ends up in the [ __ ] hospital so he rides by me he's covered in [ __ ] blood and I go what happened he goes I'll be ok man just just get back to the hotel so now I got a pedal back for the [ __ ] dogs because I'm at the bottom not we got bad back there's wrong so I said how's he doing he doesn't want to see you I said what they say doesn't want to see you I said why he says he's afraid you make him laugh so I went as a Brian man I'm like he started laughing get out take the [ __ ] jet and just go home it hurts me so much to laugh but it was funny you mention the egos because the night before we golf we golf at this but I mean everyone said Kevin caused all these big stars I mean I member Kevin constants what do we eat and I says well if yeah what you read I'm a [ __ ] and it's like wild game buffet you know not every Hall they have like animals that endangered species [ __ ] you know it's really great and boozing in and in friendly women it was so after the thing we shower and we go to this little place must have held about 250 and the show is the Eagles divided I absorb front people and the Eagles and we're walking in and I go hey Brian how you doing hey bride's gonna hang you Brian that's the [ __ ] Eagles yeah I led to my yacht one week they never [ __ ] forgot about it if Bobby's with him so we met the father goodbye then oh yeah it was great Wow yeah why was that holy [ __ ] Penn's famous for that kind of partying right yeah yeah yeah that's why I think that's why they used to have that Aspen Comedy Festival I was like excuse yeah
yeah I did that one yeah it was an excuse for people to ski and party yeah I made aspirin school I mean I go to Vail every year for cystic fibrosis we do a big tournament up there obvious keep them in your race and [ __ ] I'm horrible but you know people pay big money to see me crash kids yeah that whole Aspen area you know it's beautiful in the winter but my god when you go there in the summer and you see what it looks like you know now I know why all is rich people live up here oh my yeah cuz it's stunning it was the only time I was ever there where there wasn't snow I did I did I did a festival twice and we saw snow and in the year I golf would Brian and the client fry tournament was it was just beautiful just yeah gorgeous and huntin and you had a hunter that loved hunting I could see me a new hunter from the chairlift yeah well there's more elk in Colorado than I think any other state I think it's got the most elk of any state and and you eat almost everything you oh I eat everything there you go most of what I eat is out I'm having elk for dinner tonight I marinated it today no kidding yeah yeah i marinated it and vacuum-sealed it's get in the fridge right now and I get home I'll cook it yeah yeah got a bunch of different ways eight sausage see so that's that's good yeah see I I don't want to be a killing animals just to kill em no I feel bad I mean look I would if there were nuisance animals there was something that like if a coyote was killing my chickens I'd run them over yeah but no I love elk it's like it's the healthiest food you can eat and I eat it almost every day what's the biggest animal you think you've killed I killed a moose once I'm yeah that was enormous that was a thousand pounds that I saw one up in Maine you they're unbelievable they're so big doesn't even make sense when you see when walk across the road for the first time that first time I saw it was like what the [ __ ] well that first time I ever saw moves in the wild actually it was we pulled over I was hunting with my friend Mike Hawking's in NBC in British Columbia and we pulled over the side of the road and we look out at this field and these it was just cows it wasn't even bulls and they were walking across the field they look it was like Jurassic Park I
couldn't believe how big they were I was like look at those [ __ ] yes yeah like Jesus Christ they're so bent when they're angry oh my god very very things well Mike got chased by one he was he was riding on a horse and a [ __ ] cow moose started chasing him and he say barely got away they've died you guys oh my god so fast they're so big yeah they're yours are so long and they look gangly but when I'm in motion well they left gangly so that they can walk through swamps and they spend a lot of time like my buddy John Dudley is actually in British Columbia right now hunting moose he actually shot one yesterday if you go to knock on TV on Instagram he shot a moose yesterday and his buddy shot one a couple of days ago that is one of the biggest moves I've ever seen in my life but it's all swamps yeah so these things are in the swamp so those long legs aid them because they could walk through that swamp water you know I mean they're they're literally like we're their body start it's the bottom of their body starts it might be five and a half feet off the ground wow that's how big the cheese and I mean then the rest of them in the head and the [ __ ] antlers everything is enormous they're huge you mentioned you wish you were shooting pheasant would Bourdain yeah I never met him I always wanted me to I love you yeah now did you you obviously ate the pheasant yeah what you got it I didn't get one but he got one right I clipped one I missed I just knocked a feather loose I went down to my wife's house in Virginia early on and I met her her dad her dad was a big bird hunter and he is why you never you never a fencin and he went there he went to closet pulled out a shotgun right but out I hit bam bam he kept waiting pheasant tonight he had killed the pheasant in his back there was lots of presents in Middleburg Virginia it's a cross-country and yeah first time I have a they're very very good you know it's funny you mention boudin is there anybody you know cuz you're in a great position now Joe is there anyone that you'd like to meet that you haven't met yet I'm sure yeah a lot of scientists like Dawkins I'm gonna meet Richard Dawkins soon he's gonna do
the podcast I'm very excited to meet him yeah but no I mean you know get and that's funny you said because I agree scientist you know like should be a rock stars they should form a superhero me too I mean these these people can change the course of life yeah but not just one but for many well it's also important to too for a dummy like me to have someone like that explained like I have this guy Sean Carroll was just here a couple days ago and he's trying to explain to me quantum physics and quantum mechanics it's like I've read that book I've listened to that book on tape I listened to him talk and I might've got like 1% of what he was trying to convey because it's really complicated [ __ ] no dummy but I I so happy that guys like him around exams try to explain it to people like us well I tell you you know you have all that gym equipment and I thought about this and you could do me a favor I bought a Gravitron you know what that why I didn't buy I was given with the graviton as a height now you have you know I have the the dip and pull up assist machine put the different way yeah like those one of those things called is that a Gravitron that's no yeah that's that's the new bus but mine was the original Gravitron it was the thing with the would like a computer sensor and a propulsion oh yeah yeah every time you saw what you'd get on it you're just like a little red light yeah yeah yeah yeah well I'd always wanted one and steve Schirripa you know absolutely Lenny I'm leaving Vegas I'm open today octant allow us in the blue button so he says you can have it is but you got to move it I said all right so I call the guy he call his guy knows as a moving company and he goes Lenny I love to do it for yourself for costs so we moved it from Las Vegas to the vineyard two grand to grad right right so now I get Kenny and a bunch of other guys and we drive down to my house and we try to get it I'm sticking by living my wife is you're not having that now single it's only they have one the only toy I love this thing you know it's not so we couldn't get it up into the room but so you dress you 12 feet tall you know and five of us before we got into wall I mean it was unbelievable and she that's it get it so now I got no place to put it because I
my goal is to build the garage and have my own Jam yeah that's all you know and a pool I need a pool too but you know that yeah you have yet of course so I put it in this garage we have and you down at them you know with plantation whatever it is right and this [ __ ] neighbor you you have any [ __ ] in there is no no cuz you're too far where I'm lucky yeah well most of my neighbors if this guy sucks i hate this guy Oh Joe I hate this good bird boy anyway I love this parent his parents were the nicest people but I think he wanted him that's okay inherit them yeah everything and his mother father sweetest he said no for dinner it's just a sick [ __ ] anyway he he tells my wife we're gonna move it everything out of that out of that garage so we can clean it when cleaning 30 years is he gonna move things out of your garage cuz she because he beat up a couple of old elderly and had to move their boats so he can move his new brand new tractor in their matching this [ __ ] so well yeah yeah it's bridge this is what happened to me so the favors coming so anyway you don't have to kill anymore the he he I said don't move it I'll be back I was on the road I shall be back Monday but they moved it anyway and when they moved it the the brain part of it came out and never they lost it you know that's they lost they lost the compiler yeah but you he'd throw it away on me too so he gets a dick like that and now everyone in the whole Association hates him anyway people that don't even know him hate him and I'm building hate so the guy I said hey man he goes Lundy do we have a problem oh yeah we got a problem I go I moved that thing across countries a friend of mine gave that to me that was gonna be the centerpiece of my home gym and you [ __ ] it up you lie goes well you know I'm sorry these things happen these things happen to st. yeah so now I have a 12-foot tall basically you know sculpture sculpture yeah and I gotta protect that so it doesn't mind I didn't even offer to pay no no and if he did if he offered to pay I would have been okay and even if he didn't but he didn't even offer he was like well think about it so there's a guy who invented it Lanny Potts is his name and I went on I had
little millenials everybody try to find this guy – Trek because I'll pay the guy I think he wants it yeah I think the guy would want me to have it he's the guy who invented the Stairmaster from the Stairmaster the gravit will up a picture that thing bald yeah Gravitron your finals making service the right thing no no easy just make sure the the image he's pulling oh yeah but the Gravitron is a propulsion assist oh yeah this guy could tell us what yeah it's it's just it's gives you a little assist so I'm pulling up 200 pounds you're doing a chin up it gives you a background but then every day you work down and down so now that's the new model but how'd the [ __ ] that they lose the the brain of that yeah and the brain was at the bottom the original one what there it is that's it oh no over there no those one well yeah that one the big picture that's it doing the chin up no that don't that's it okay that's it so this guy Lani pots and two other guys in fret that and you can see with that you stand in that and there's the buttons you push right in the middle and a red bar if you've got twenty million listeners maybe one of you guys is friends with Lani pop eh yeah I just want to get this little first I want and I want to get jacked I want to be the prettiest man walk the planet I'd go up to that guy's house negative go look what's your baby Joe yeah yeah yeah I can't believe you lost the brain of it oh it broke my heart I mean I haven't even told syrup yet because right was so nice matching Ripple go to the guy's awesome Pokemon trip I used to run the Riviera yeah oh yeah he scared the [ __ ] out of me a couple of pounds we dealt with hecklers Oh oh yeah saw some guy take a cigarette and throw it on the ground and step on it in the showroom and he [ __ ] screamed at my back got in his face but it was like eh you're gonna die scream you know yeah strippers old school vague oh yeah people don't know oh he's an actor oh no you know he got into acting I think because of Drew Carey I gave him it's one of his first act that's boy on the cut on Sunday comics I was in a electric chair and he was the guy you know and he never forgot that he said mad at you she gave me a break always bring me I [ __ ] love that day I worked for him in like 97 back in 97
that was like the first time I ever worked for him but uh he was then that was when Drew Carey had the Drew Carey Show right and Drew Carey had got him apart on The Drew Carey Show and he was like a god for the [ __ ] for a goof now now the [ __ ] acting yeah and he wasn't being like a real actor and then all of a sudden I see him on the [ __ ] Sopranos I was like holy [ __ ] you're on the greatest show in the history of the universe yeah yeah and he was really good oh yeah but it's substantiate of my feelings about acting but it's just pretending yeah it's not that hard I mean there's acting like did you see the Joker yet no holy [ __ ] I saw the other night Jam you were right holy [ __ ] Joaquin Phoenix is a [ __ ] master oh yeah it's a masterpiece I love the money Johnny Cash why I'm like you're tough maybe I am I mean it's a [ __ ] up sick movie yeah but it's that's what they were trying to do right it's the greatest [ __ ] up sick movie I think I've ever seen I mean you might not be into it if you're not into the I'm sure yeah listen to me I enjoy anything that's done well yes you know I mean even if it's not my cup of tea yeah you know I mean I'll I'll go and I'll watch it and I'll try to figure out what what the message you were trying to get a point and maybe I can connect with your vision I'll give you that and if it sucks I'll just come yeah it's not for me but some master yeah it's a masterpiece I mean Todd Phillips nailed it and walking free Todd Phillips as a master of comedy does this it's one of the dark movies is not a funny [ __ ] moment in that movie that it's not a happy moment in that movie but it's a masterpiece but the point is like that kind of acting like what Joaquin Phoenix does in that movie what Daniel day-lewis doesn't his movies like that's on another level but like regular acting like look at what Steve did they gave him a fat suit right they put a fat suit on him and he played Bobby on The Sopranos and he [ __ ] nailed it you knocked out of the park you would think that that guy had been acting his whole life right you really would it was when you would do it fear factor you would do a lot of those
things that you had the stunts yeah oh no no no they wouldn't let me do any of them oh no because like you wanted to write yeah for sure yes I are one yeah I did a couple of I did a couple of stop when I was doing meet Wallace Boxford Rodney Dangerfield he said to me okay in this scene you're sword-fighting coming down these marble stairs and you're gonna get stabbed you're gonna roll down Oh hold on Kemosabe I said I'm shooting a network TV show during the day I'm here at night for you because I love you I go I can't get hurt right I was really fat at the time like 370 I go I'll get hurt he goes what what do you want me I don't get a stuntman he goes I'll kid you're gonna make me pay for stuff and I go Rodney I said come that's a please play so so this thinkers it stopped me and comes in right there you go mr. Clark thank you for the job I look at the guy and I go dog this is what I look like you know any look leaves my side so the guy gets up a action and I go I cut and then they put him in my spot and then he gets stabbed but the sword goes tumbling down the mob Wilson pastas am i bleeding from his ear I don't know what do you think I think he could do one better than that it was I would've got screwed and then we do a car scene they said alright missing money you break Rodney out of the house you get in the car and you drive as fast as you can up the road and you see the the lights up there there's a bunch of cameras with sandbags we want you to hit the brakes and slide into the sandbags but don't go any farther in the sandbags okay let's go and I turn around hey Rodney I'm a great driver I said but I don't know if I can I like I like a test run to see where the brakes are gonna watch it come on just don't [ __ ] kill anybody so I try I Drive like a bass right if I could do a better move to later I Drive and I hit the brakes and I saw six inches from the sandbag total luck but I mean it was like I'm thinking and I'm flying it right and it goes we got it and I go yeah hey Ronnie go stab see I told you you would be crazy lucky but the reason I said if I could do if you could change anything in your life would you change anything no of course I knew you'd say that now ask me would you change anything
everything well if you change everything you might not be where you are they go yeah I'm I'll roll the dice I could be [ __ ] better off you never know you know I mean well I learned from all my mistakes Oliver I've hated every [ __ ] one of them I felt terrible every [ __ ] mistake I've ever made but it's made me a better person I'm still making mistakes brother mistakes you know it's just part of being a person man I already makes mistakes I try to be a good person I always tried to be a good person and and something I'm so how do you try the more [ __ ] people miss i misunderstand that that's what makes me one of do bad things to people yeah well your neighbor the guy who lost the brain oh yeah or the Gravitron oh I mean I wouldn't encourage you to say his name on the show no I know I know that I know it but you know you did you see how I feel and I and I'm a good I told this guy he could cut down trees to improve his view stuff like that I was nice his parents loved me his parents said oh that lindy's the nicest guy you won't believe it's a little crazy but for I used to learn Krypton eat the food off the trees everything no yeah he's very wealthy and he's very you know it is born wealthy yeah I mean if I had a son I'd [ __ ] kick him out of the house make him fend for himself I really would not maybe if I did that to my kidding and the blowin sale is a flea you mentioned a pepper oh yeah how many how many peppers did you have for you oh my god hundreds yeah yeah on my route I had three routes yeah a couple hundred apiece I had the herald for a while my main staple was the globe right did the herald on I did in New York Times I did the hello globe New York Times in the Cambridge Chronicle no and every now and then my father feel bad for me go ski yeah you're not gonna you're not gonna be able to you you better up more than you can chew get in the car and read be flipping him out the window he showed me because he worked for the Herald as a loner type operator and he was proud of me for working with us for bit 3/4 but what are you nuts – one paper like know something I can make real money if you did that like I did that state that saved me while I was
doing stand-up mmm because it gave me money like I didn't have to have a regular job like I could get up in the morning and I could deliver newspapers from you know 5:00 a.m. to like 7:30 a.m. worst job you ever had worst job you ever had construction for sure some of those construction gigs were rug really rough yes and it depends on the company he worked for I work with my buddy Jimmy lawless and we we built a wheelchair ramp for a Knights of Columbus Hall right and a tall [ __ ] something I mean wasn't even all summer I mean I think I quit after like three weeks but all that's about some weary yeah carry cement and pressure-treated lumber all I did every day cement and pressure-treated lumber out in the Sun and by the time five o'clock would roll around or whatever wasn't we quit I I didn't have anything left I'll just eat and fall asleep and then I get up in the morning and do it again in it but it taught me something like if you if you want to be a labourer yeah for life this is what life is and this is this a [ __ ] tire you're gonna be you better figure out what you want to do with your life and get after it you know because this is at the time I was probably like 18 or 19 and I'll never forget how hard it was at 21 I went to the National Labor's training center in Hopkinton mash but when they teach you how to belay teach you teach you how to be a laborer and the same thing we're just met in the pressure-treated lumber that if you got on your skin it made you always yes and from there I'd leave and I go to be a lifeguard and then after life got it was Jannah in a couple bones there's all at one at one time when my dad gets second I was dead carefully but then that I was a sewer truck operator which was a great job you know they used to have a claw on the back of a big big giant pickup truck you know I mean bullet stuck and you'd swing it out and you'd pick up the the top of the the sewer and then you put the clam in and you open it up and you pick up and I went to every bottom in Cambridge said got a lot of complaints about this thing comin at you saw out there really yeah I can take it really why don't you have a beer close the clinic Eddie sickness I walk people down again okay
got a cover for me they need a drink to would be shit-faced the porter up what I was conveying a massive oh my god the shine people did you do the shy Jones like we just do with the whole but until you fixed it we put well we get it we'd get one of those removable [ __ ] and we put that on one side but yeah right and then we get the cause and I got but the guys would come and they could if if you had the right crew they could fix that Sidewalk in a couple of hours why don't you smooth it out you know but you know Massachusetts always has [ __ ] up sidewalks I mean in or [ __ ] up concrete every way you drive all the asphalt [ __ ] up Joe and how about the highways hi first we're gonna do this mile section in Saugus all right that's good now we're going up to Springfield leave that how about the Big Dig how much longer did that takes you I was supposed to tell that it's one of the biggest corruption schemes in all of the history of construction I know the big dick went to jail the Big Dig was supposed to cost 1.8 billion dollars and be done in seven years the Big Dig is still not finished and it costs twenty eight billion dollars that's twenty six billion dollar over right that's like gold or dry clean is it how much you clean my pants twelve dollars you go back tonight there'll be three grand we ran into some problems everyone made when I was living in Malden right they were working on it yeah that was in 1988 yeah and they still work Joe they put up four ton tiles with Elmer's glue and they thought it was gonna that's what happened oh yeah look 51 million do you always originally 51 million oh my god it's still not done it's still not done how is it not done but since its constructed 91 to 2007 Joe believe me tell me I Drive that all the time this pods but that's still an open date it took him 15 years to open up the tunnel to them to the on the airport it says it's on December 31st it's official Boston's Big Dig will be done the Washington Post in 2007 okay but it's they're just still fixed on the centerpiece of the big day is the same bridge was named after a guy named Lenny shake him do you know who yes no okay nice guy community organized a
philanthropist wonderful person Joe and the people in Chosun said he said you will blow that bridge up so no I swear to God right when he said I'm a nice guy I'm a friend of Jews I married a Jew I was in the tribe I know your secrets don't [ __ ] with me I'll expose you so I'm not kill the Jews I love the Jews and very good sex know what happens they they had eight people from Cambridge who were against the let me second bridge being because it cast a shadow on the Chou's River preventing the fish from being in the river to go out to the ocean and spawn really yeah first of all anything in that River should not be allowed to recreate but secondly all a shadow is stopping a fish what the [ __ ] do you think fish do at night oh come on who said that it was doing that the was there a real-life biologist for saying no some big ugly woman you can walk across it really has it has gotten better but you can still you can still see so when people are rowing Monello that's bad you know they've well I used to live in Newton I used to live in Newton upper falls across the street from like a section of the river and we see carp in it yeah yeah yeah and then one day I was out there walking around and I saw some bubbling in the water and I watched a condom bubble up to the surface and I realized it was a sewer pipe that was broken yeah it was leaking raw sewage right into the [ __ ] River that's where it goes yeah do you know in family-pack when you were a kid the groundskeeper was Joe Mooney and Joe Mooney was famous because nobody but nobody stepped on that grass no one even yaki get up Mike it was like a crazed man and since then my friend David Mel he's one of my dearest friends because I I wanted to learn all about grass cuz I smoked it and smoking is easier than growing and growing it Sisera but he when he took over when the sewers were back up in Boston they would flood Fenway Park and when the water receded he'd be actually fish flappin in the infield and we have pictures of it that's what you can Blatch it up and how did they come from from from the river from the Charles River and then back up and whatever's in those shores would come out but through what port how did it get into the grass area oh the water would rise from where the water would
drain out of the ballpark it would come back in and fish would and fish there's pictures of fish flapping under failed if my pocket and I yes yeah you can google google at the final time sharika well david everything david miller has written like eight books on lon and what i went to him John Henry invited me to come up and sit with him on my birthday one night at Fenway Park this is years ago about 10-12 years ago and he said to me says uh Lenny oh you want to go sit in my seats I said yeah so when he bought Fenway he extended the infant seats out to more rows so it's TV summary it's right next to him so I'm sitting there with my guys if you could meet anybody in the ball park in the organization who would you like to meet the groundskeeper he was what you want to meet Manny or Big Poppa yeah no I want to meet the groundskeeper why I said you just had Jimmy Buffett out here two nights in a row there's not a blade out of grass look at that good suppose beautiful glass beautiful island or he gets on the phone Dave would you come down it's a guy mister clocking oh you know me man I've been dying to meet you so we got was off the shy leave should be right right so then I invited him and his wife and kids down to my place and they come down to the vineyard three weeks later they sent me let me Clark Fenway Park grass seed my lawn looked like Fenway Park it was the most amazing one it's like [ __ ] now but you magic see Joe got a cut they were gonna cover you know blenny in my when I bought it when I bought this property it was all overrun and one day I was out smoking a joint and I was picking up paper you know cuz I'm a land baron yeah and I go holy [ __ ] mo what's wrong there's a stone wall back in my house is surrounded by stone walls that you couldn't even see because the tickets and the brush was all overgrown the next day she must have like eight trucks in there and they I have stone walls surrounding my entire estate and just didn't know didn't know couldn't even see him Wow yeah weird and then I add it to my lawn you know I had like I had like maybe you know half an acre lot I got like three acres a lawn that's a that's a lot of law much work too much more whoo-whoo Mo's election specific yeah dad daddy's not good with a lot
more I'm not gonna let me use power tools even Oh absorber no father to us for lightening fish make good fertilizer so if they did die you guys that's not a good reference photo but this is a photo of it on Fenway you work the Red Sox January 2001 at Fenway Park I set down with previous thirty-year heads ground keeper mr. Joe Mooney to discuss the nuances of Fenway Joe said David if it rained it really rains hard the dugouts flood because the crown in the old field I wasn't surprised because I had seen that before Milwaukee County Stadium he then say if it really really rains hard the antiquated City storm drains will back up and water will come out of the Marine manhole covers and Fenway's concourse and then flood the concourse if it really really really rains hard the first base camera pit will fill up with water and the fish from the Charles River a mile away will swim through the city drain pipes and swim into the camera pit and then swim out onto the field I said wow mr. Mooney that's wild thinking he was pulling my leg I went home and told my wife you won't believe the stories that mr. Mooney tells fast-forward to April Friday night before the Red Sox home opener on Monday the overnight forecast was for two to three inches of rain so we put the tarp on the infield when the rain stopped early Saturday morning we would receive almost three inches of rain I walked behind the home plate towards a Red Sox dugout to check the conditions of the warning warning track and I couldn't believe my eyes when I looked I saw a fish laying on the grass I looked around for Joe thinking it put a great prank on me pulled a great prank on me but I didn't see him anywhere I walked over to the camera pit and sure enough it was full of water I turned around to look towards the infield I saw seven more fish between the camera pit and second base in my rush to get the tarp off now sunny skies and get ready for my first Red Sox opener I unfortunately threw all the fish away I have wished since then I could have saved the fish and had them display for my office my home and for Joe but at least I made time to take this photo and since then I've had it hanging on my office wall Joe one of my favorite words is vindication that's meditation that answered every question that you
asked me which I couldn't you know Alice put my foot it's not Joe you know that's why you laugh when people say oh that's it makes the [ __ ] how could I make this [ __ ] up if that makes sense it makes sense so it's so close to the Charles River make sense yeah like a mile away right Oh unbelievable Fenway Park is about a mile away from the river yeah I'd say you're absolutely right yeah cuz there's because it comes around down by the old Sears Roebuck stood is a part of it that goes through there too amazing right that's crazy that is crazy Wow covered a lot of [ __ ] so we end there yeah might as well vindications all the best I love you brother thank you so much always a pleasure oh it's bicep laughs my pleasure again die time you're an Aries maybe we'll get my machine please Jillian maybe I'll look as good a show guitar that [ __ ] Gravitron dad everybody mind me asking about that [Music]