Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMB46z1Xmuc
the jurogan experience but has there been anything in your life that was so horrific that they couldn't imagine telling you you know except for my father's murder not really maybe that was it maybe that was it but boy that and that doesn't seem like it's big enough i don't know how was your father murdered um dad dad was murdered in may of 1999. had answered a personals ad for a a woman who was looking for a you know a boyfriend and uh the ad was headlined kismet i believe that's the arab word for fate and dad uh met with her her name was rita she was a lawyer she had worked in the prison system in the midwest and dad was really really taken with her she was really bright and really smart and she had an ex-husband who had sexually abused her daughter from a different marriage and they were pressing charges against his ex-husband and he was going to go to prison and she had met him while he was in prison and she was doing legal work and she had helped him get out of prison so she helped him get out of prison she'd married him he had abused her daughter she divorced him she was prosecuting him to send him back to prison then she met my father and this ex-husband had said that if he ever caught her with another man he would kill them both so my father was going to pick her up and she was going to stay at his house in the mountains until the time of the trial and as he was going to pick her up he was going down this this mountain road on his property and a giant boulder broke free and it rolled down the hillside and it blocked the road he couldn't get out so he spent the day with this
a lever forcing this boulder off the road and then he took a couple extra hours and he made a sign that said kismet rock so that he could label this boulder as a kind of landmark but when he brought her back to sequester her and he'd cleaned the house incredibly the house was just neat as a pen and stocked with all this food and you know he really planned to have this fantastically sort of idyllic time sequestered with his new girlfriend and he labeled the rock to surprise her and then he went to pick her up and when he went to pick her up the ex-husband showed up and he shot my father and my father and the woman took refuge in her house and the man set fire to the house and the house eventually collapsed and the coroner says that they were both dead before the fire got to them uh and the coroner says that because of the angle of the shot my father probably took about 20 minutes to die because the bullet ruptured his diaphragm so with every breath he would have been accumulating air below between the lung and the diaphragm and so every breath would have been more and more shallow because his lungs would have been more and more constricted by this air above the diaphragm but that eventually he'd suffocated um and all of this sounds horrible and tragic but it forms his fantastic pattern in my father's life because my father when he was very small he lived in northern idaho with his this enormous ukrainian family and his father went uh crazy one day this is all public record i've talked about this a lot but his father took a rifle and walked around the house and tried to kill him my father and and ultimately killed my father's well killed his wife my father's mother and then killed himself
but my father's earliest memories are of hiding underneath a bed as his father walked around the house in logging boots with a rifle calling his name trying to get him to come out so that he could be killed jesus christ and so my father spent his entire life sort of looking for his mother because as his father was trying to kill him he was trying to find his mother who at that point had been killed and so my father really had this kind of serial pattern with women he was always looking in a way for the woman the woman and ultimately he was shot by the man with a gun in the way that he would have been shot when he was four years old and one of the uncanny things is that their bodies were only preserved because a bed on the second floor of this structure as it was burning the bed fell over their bodies and insulated their bodies and my father had escaped his father by hiding under underneath a bed when he was a small child and the fact that the the the lonely hearts ad was was headlined kismet and the fact that this boulder rolled down in front of my father's car just as he was leaving that prevented him from getting there in time where he probably would have been able to escape before the ex-boyfriend arrived or was i you know there's so many odd bizarre coincidences and synchronicities you know you could sort of you would have to really um dismiss a lot of things in order to make this not something uh significant not fate or not some reoccurring theme woven into time and in a way that you know understanding all these different aspects of it it provides a comfort that it doesn't seem like this random thing it seems like something that my father's some aspect of my father's life that was coming full circle and was finally being completed
and maybe i am clutching at straws and i'm just a kind of person looking for significance which is what we all are but i'll take comfort where i can find it watch the entire episode for free only on spotify