Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdu2byloRXw
the jurogan experience um my brother i hope she covers all that [ __ ] up with a big gucci mane ice cream cone [Laughter] have you seen that yeah gucci mane put a ice cream cone on his face yeah well what's his name uh did you see it pull up the picture of good gucci mane ice cream cone how about baby big baby birdman's uh oil oil drill on his oil drill oil drill going tattooed on this side he does he really yes man he's got giant stars all over his head too right insane you know who just tattooed his [ __ ] head jason ellis he put a giant look at it damn yeah it's got lightning bolts man my eyes can be on fire gucci mane is crazy look at him he put an ice cream cone on his face it says burr you see it you see it on the cone yeah b-r-r and the tattoo guy was like okay call this ice man could you could you um i want i'm gonna have to get you to request this on video and then i need you to get i need you to write this down come on man just tattoo it i ain't gonna change my mind put butter pecan on my face man yo dawg don't be giving me no vanilla ice cream i hate vanilla i want a cone a good one like a waffle type [ __ ] cookie dough ice cream no spoon man no spoon lick that [ __ ] up them delicious cones with the upper level that is like styrofoam like yeah the craziest part of it are the lightning bolts put lightning on my ice cream but he's got a little [ __ ] on his face too he's like he's got like writing on his face too he's just like using his face to draw can you see what it says under his eye can you read what he's gonna get he has things on his eye under his eyes yeah oh those are tattoos too oh my god it looks like it's under his eye says something what the [ __ ] what's up boopy or some [ __ ] what is that it looks like i see what does it say one thousand veg i don't know it's hard
to say 10 times 10 with the s on the m so yeah and then on the other side he has looks like a dove or something from the hondas yeah that that dude is probably irrational gucci huh i don't know anybody today i'm just so i'm out of the loop i'm pretty out of it i i know stuff that like that because it's in the news and i know um mostly the music i grew up on i'm not aware of a lot of the new [ __ ] gucci mane i know because you know like a son of me but that's it there's so much music that was been been made when you think about the fact that from 1960 whatever to today you know you want to go crazy you want to go robert johnson you can listen to some [ __ ] recorded in the 30s and 40s right yeah but think about that to till today what a gigantic pile of music that is i mean there's so much out there what a body of work yeah all the different musicians in the 60s the 70s the fit oh my god there's so much music it's like to come up with new stuff it's like to really get me into it it has to be like the black keys spent just crazy amounts of money like did he blow through nine cars and yeah like he blew through a lot of it he was on that broke um special that they aired and he was just like somebody pulled up you know in like a ferrari you're like yeah that's just hot i gotta top that [ __ ] so that he would go like the day that day i got the lambo with the brains blown out man like just to top each other guys would just buy [ __ ] to show off you know to compete with each other on it they say that there's some ungodly number of people it's like 80 percent of all nfl players are broke and in bankruptcy within two years of retiring it's it's incredible i mean you know the older i get the more i understand the younger guys having no like zero sense and also zero if like financial yeah iq like they don't know no 21
they're like here's three million dollars and they're like what the [ __ ] let's get this party started 22. yeah yeah i imagine it's crazy but it's crazier when they're like he played 10 12 16 years like iverson and he's blown through like 200 million dollars you're iverson broke now yes yes and how old does he know he's 37 something like that and his body's not working right anymore oh he's out of the nba yeah and he's and he's trying to play but he's run through well into nine figures you know wow i mean i you know that's and that's you know you have to consider he made a lot of endorsements so nine figures nine figures dude yeah i make seven figures yeah girls would be like whoa he makes seven figures so i can't make nine nine i blew to it all yeah that's [ __ ] crazy man whoopsies it's crazy the 100 million dollars it's so much they they interviewed one uh defensive like a guy on the on the the special on the the broke thing and he was like i don't know why man but he's like everybody had a car wash he's like we all had a [ __ ] car wash man that [ __ ] that [ __ ] did not last like we all spent money on a car we all bought a car wash yeah man you ain't got your own car wash ah and bart scott had the he was like you buy [ __ ] that's unnecessary he's not broke at all he's still playing and he's like i'm smarter with my money but he's like you know everybody's a stupid purchase i bought a coat i think it was made of wolf and [Laughter] he's like i wore that [ __ ] once and it was like 35 000 dude i gotta tell you diaz first of all he got stopped in three different airports by like eight different people this weekend oh by throngs of fans you're saying fans tsa
we're at the airport and they want to check out his balls for weed [Laughter] he first of all my god his his tolerance is it's stunning dude i took a quarter of a bite of an edible you're brave quarter yeah i mean the very end of it and 30 minutes later i was just out of my mind i mean my eyes weren't even open okay and i could tell people were looking at me like they're like yeah and you're like i'm not hiding this at all this is bad and he ate of that he ate an entire one like that and then he's like saying ridiculous [ __ ] like [ __ ] that i i feel like i get arrested for thinking it like i don't i can't play it back in my head i was like dude shut the [ __ ] up what was he saying i cannot i really can't say the main thing that he was i can't why it would he would be it was it's not okay to say why is it not okay it's just does it have to do with ethnic groups a lot of them yeah so many [Laughter] racial things but this one in particular is awful i'll tell you obvious so awful like i can't even spin it i can't spin a joke but you know i have a this is one of the things that i've been on about lately i have a real problem when people get upset at people that say [ __ ] that they don't really mean but that it's awful but hilarious yeah i agree i agree because like look how hard we're laughing i was only here yeah look at the picture you guys yeah i don't even know what he said i don't even know what he said to you and i'm already laughing just crazy thinking about all the [ __ ] he said to me in the past of course of course well he he's going off about this thing i'm standing there i look like i'm gonna puke because i'm laughing so hard because and we're this is in the airport and he's around people like right he has no sense of like and then he's like tsa and uh this guy i look in the uniform looks over and he's like you gotta look at this guy
i'm like dude i'm all [ __ ] up like don't bring attention to me right now and then that guy he's like hey joey diaz i'm a big fan i'm like are you [ __ ] kidding me right now i turn around and walk away i was like i'm leaving it's too high for this yeah i walk away i leave him i'm like i don't want any part of this [ __ ] and i go i buy a magazine that i leave at the counter that's how high i'm like i get this magazine and then i walk away from it and i remember like 30 minutes later before we board and i go back and it's sitting there and i go that's my magazine this lady's like okay and i go i paid for it already and she's like okay like go ahead and take that if you want like so out of my mind but then then we walk by we go and a guy a [ __ ] pilot comes by you know they have like their they always have that that double look luggage thing right there one bag on top of the other yes the pilot bag yeah he [ __ ] walks by us and he's like hey joey diaz and i'm like are you serious right now and he's like it's my airport everybody knows me at this airport i'm like really this is my airport yeah and then in oregon no this was in burbank i run the burbank airport okay we then get stopped in we land in sacramento and people stop them for pictures then the baggage handler uh stops him asks him like a hundred questions i hate these [ __ ] questions guys ask way too many questions okay so we leave there well he's super high camera just having conversations with people then a family stops them a lady with kids stops them for a picture they all take a picture together like it was non-stop the best was that oh this is the best part so i take the quarter bite right and i'm completely [ __ ] out of my mind he eats an entire one we sit down on the plane and he starts talking to me i'm like shut up man shut the [ __ ] up i cannot listen to you right now because i'm like shaking like i'm i'm like i got so you
told him to shut up because you're laughing yeah yes i'm like i can't hear you talk shut up and he's like he's like he like looked around he's like anyways and he opens up a second one eats the second and of the thing i have a quarter bite of so he's on eight doses of what i'm on and i'm like oh jesus christ so we go through this fight and every time he looks at me like i said he goes oh and i'm like dude you ever heard the duncan story no he gives duncan a cookie and then he calls him an hour and a half later goes welcome to my world [ __ ] dude oh we land we land and i and um as we're landing i was like man i go dude i was i was pretty [ __ ] up man and he goes i look at him because all i'm thinking is like i can't believe how much more advanced you are than me you know it's like like i cannot believe oh you mean tolerance wise yes like it's like i can't believe i ran a mile and you just ran 40 miles like that's crazy to me and we both finished at the same time and then i go so i'm amazed that he's not affected i go i can't believe how much that [ __ ] me out he goes i almost had three panic attacks on that flight i was like yes it made me so happy that he was also [ __ ] up and he i was like he doesn't care he still goes down right back right back in i go i'm glad it's starting to wear off he goes not for me i'm [ __ ] up right now yeah his idea of going deep is so much deeper than your idea yes he's breaking world records on a daily basis all the time he's at the bottom of the marianas trench with a shovel and he's like there's got to be a deeper spot this is [ __ ] and the first thing he did as we get off that was like let's smoke this joint i was like what are you talking about what are you talking about man we're not smoking a joint i can take a break he's amazing he's a [ __ ] maniac yeah well he just goes through the whole day like that and that's where you know
people would step in and say that boy's got a problem yeah i'll tell you what but he doesn't yeah because for a comedian yeah it might be the best way to live life yeah just scared on a regular basis and in between laughing your dick off scared laughing your dick off scared laughing you dig off yeah he um he's the funny thing is like even his regular cadence it's so is out of the norm for other people yeah that you see people react to them it's more fun to even watch people like at the restaurant next to us react to him than it is almost to watch him like he's talking and i see them like they're like jesus like this is like a [ __ ] it's like you brought in a pit bull to have lunch here you know what i mean they've never seen somebody so intense and animated and saying these crazy things it's like you watch them react to joey right right right yeah yeah i know what you mean man he's just it's just they they don't come along that often no he's a it's a rare thing that's the they're like well who's this guy yeah yeah you know like you know guys you go oh i get it that guy's like a little bit of this guy a little bit of that guys combination of joey's just like what is that where'd that come from you want to kill somebody invite him over for dinner what oh his his logic yeah how to get crimes committed correctly and then my favorite thing is he'll say something and go you know what the [ __ ] i'm saying and he just walks away yeah like he'll end on a strong point you want to kill somebody you invite him over for dinner boom he walks away great sense of timing yeah amazing it's it's a stand-up timing that he uses like in every day in real life yeah yeah it's like he's never doing an act yeah because his act is his life and his life is his act yeah the way he talks is his act totally
that's like the best you could ever hope for the best you could ever hope for is like a merging of you your ability to be you off stage and on stage yeah i mean i mean look at like who everybody or a lot of people let's say is like you know a total master comedian basically talks in his voice like chappelle yeah walks up and is like tells you about his day yeah and that's kind of like the highest form right of being a comic because you're like i'm just gonna this isn't even a thing i'm just talking to you yeah and like diaz is like a version of that where like he's just being diaz we know a guy who uh was uh like i i talk i tell the story now on stage of the guy who used to drive us oh my god the airport this was our driver yeah like a regular guy because we go to the airport so often we use this you know we found a like a cheaper car service it's easier than dealing with like driving and parking right and like he was uh you know it was like a cheap ride basically older guy and uh like all white hair and was really professional and then like after like 10 rides one of those things where like you want you know when somebody's like mr rogan mister and you finally go you can call me joe right it was like that kind of thing where i was like it's tom he's like it's tom i'm like yeah he's like cool hey man let me ask you something like everything changed as soon as i said like you don't have to be professional with me oh my god and he goes uh he goes can i ask you something and i was like yeah and he goes do you smoke weed and i was like uh yeah i mean i guess yeah he's like do you want to smoke some now i was like really it's like five in the morning yeah and it's driving yeah and i was like i was like yeah all right and then you said yeah right yeah okay driver yeah that's exactly what i'm actually comfortable with you in my life and then he goes
he starts smoking and then he goes out i can't drive unless i'm [ __ ] up and that's a quote this is like a scene in a movie this is like a scene in the seth rogen movie he's like 70s and then he goes and then he's like there's more like this particular it is early he drives fast he's like one of these is the worst i've been driving 50 years in l.a we got to take this street and that's great and i was like you know i was basically like keep it together man and he was like he's like i've been up since you know three you know like he's all behind [ __ ] and i start asking him i'm like have you done other drugs he's like oh buddy buddy like i've done it all and i was like really he's like coke heroin he's like there's nothing like smoking rocks swear to god and i was like he's like 70. yeah and he is flying through el barrio through the old neighborhood yeah oh my god and so this is an el salvadorian neighborhood and every like we're going through lights and he's like look at that little brown one right there i love that little brown sweater he was married to a peruvian and then he had like an el salvadorian girlfriend he's like i love these little brownies he had a one on the side uh yeah well and he had oh he has like five girlfriends and they're all like and he's 70 yeah and they were all like 20 yes oh yeah so but now it wouldn't be like like we drive through the ghetto and be like that's where i used to buy my crack there like he was pointing out where this neighborhood's got the good stuff i swear to god so we're in the we're driving around and i go uh i go oh i go well can i ask you something now that we're friends i guess you know he's like yeah shoot i was like what's it like to smoke crack and he goes oh man he's like what i like to do when i smoke crack is like i'll just sit in my apartment wait wait stop
yeah stop don't say anything pull up hold on did he say porn he watches porn no no okay i'm sorry he goes uh i like to i like to look through the people and i look around at what the [ __ ] that and i think i see all this [ __ ] i think about what's going to happen next i see people walking by and i just kind of [ __ ] freak out you know and i was like that sounds terrible man and he was like it's part of the rush that's the rush you know what the [ __ ] is going to happen you looked at the people you see other people gonna come get you that's his rush i i gotta stop you because yeah because everybody says everybody that i've ever talked to that smokes crack says they watch porn oh no well henry did say i invited this girl over and we [ __ ] like animals oh yeah like he would have yeah he did say that he would have sex yeah sorry sorry sorry i didn't say his last name no i don't know his last name henry the ape so yeah the best is uh like and this sounds like it sounds i swear this is exactly how it goes i go so do you still do that [ __ ] and he goes uh nah man no no no he goes well you know every once in a while but you know what they say if you do something every once in a while it's not that bad for you and i go i think they mean that about like pizza like chocolate not crack and he's like i swear to god every once in a while well do you remember when the mayor of washington dc got caught smoking marion barry yeah with an fbi agent in a [ __ ] hotel room or an informant she was being a prostitute yeah yeah yeah you remember that [ __ ] he was smoking crap and running the nation's capital yeah and then when they asked people about it the greatest thing was when after he got caught this guy i remember this guy on tv they say what do you think about the mayor getting caught smoking crying goes man everybody a little cracking right now and then every now and then he said
everybody smoke a little crack every now and then this guy was on tv he's like come on man stop playing you're being ridiculous why you stop playing who doesn't who doesn't vote crack everybody smoke some great little now then that reminds me of the first time i bought drugs the first time i ever bought drugs tell me about you do you remember the first time you were brought down i bet the first time i ever bought drugs i was in high school and i went to a small high school so i was trying to be like not make a thing to ask about it at first you know because you don't want it to get around and like be uh so you were curious yeah i wanted to try stuff but i didn't know who to ask because if you ask like at a small school you're like it could blow up real fast right that's how gossip traveled so my friend steve had just transferred from like the big high school like from a high school with like 5 000 kids and so it was like a weekend i was like let's get a sack and i think we just seen menace to society and we were like what's up like we were trying to totally be like hardcore guys like pulling the hat to the side be like let's do this did you wear your hat to the side no but i think uh you know a lot of like throwing swag in the [ __ ] and right being like you know hey let's get his sack you're getting your blackness on definitely feeling it 14 like what's up right do this [ __ ] i got your back right making [ __ ] up a little too white right yeah and so comfortable with your existence totally and then uh he's like i hook i know the guy so this is like a saturday night this like long green like old school 70s cadillac pulls up and and it's like he's like that's the dude and this guy rolls the window down he's like yo get in the back and i was like all right cool we get in the back if they're thinking like that's where it goes down
and uh steve's like yo this is white pete i was like what's up why pete like and then he was called white pete because they needed to give him a distinction for his name because he was the only white guy that ran with his crew right and he was like we didn't have driver's licenses so he was like exactly what at that moment where we wanted to be in a couple of years like he had like the whole you like the oversized white tee and like you know gold yeah and [ __ ] like fade he was like what's up i'm white people he talked like snoop dogg almost oh right and so we're like all right i thought he's like so we're gonna go get it now i was like go get what like i thought we're just doing this in the car we're gonna go get that sack man like oh okay so we start driving we go 30 minutes in the car we go to the next town over which is fort pierce which is definitely a shittier place right so we're driving through fort pierce and we go from a main street to like single lane highways you know in florida there's like oh yeah right so we're on a busy then we go to a single lane that has like canals on each side yeah and we drive it and then we go from that to a dirt road and then the dirt road off of that dirt road like we're driving down like this is some forensic file [ __ ] like we're going to end up on there's a lot of woods yeah a lot of brush uh groves that kind of [ __ ] and i was like [ __ ] man and at this point like i'm thinking about like menace to society and like i want to be in that right now but i'm feeling like ah feeling really white am i like really scared and so and now it's night and it you know it's like because he came over in the evening already so that's pitch black outside and we're on a dirt road off of a dirt road like you could scream there's nobody gonna hear [ __ ] and on the dirt road up a gravel path i see a light and the light is from a
trailer so we pull up to the trailer and we get out and it's me steve and white pete and we knock on the door of the trailer and this dude opens the door and he has this black eye that has like six dreadlocks like you know each dreadlock is like a size of like a king-sized snicker bar he's got six snicker bars coming out of his hair and wife he's like what's up pat pat he's like what's up white pete and they give each other hug and i was like oh [ __ ] like now this really is like totally menace to society [ __ ] right so it's like what's gonna happen but i'm totally so trying to be cool about it like so trying to be cool about it and then uh he's like these white boys looking for a sack and he's like yeah we could do that so we go and say mind you we're looking for twenty dollars right and we like with that how far have you droven how long has it taken this is uh from this point it's like we're already 30 miles south what city we started why would you just say like never mind after 10 miles because why doesn't white pizza sell it to you why does he have to take you on the trip to the guy's house i would these are all questions i have but don't have the balls to ask like i i'm in my mind i'm like uh like i'm 14 15. i'm not saying [ __ ] to this dude right i'm cool what's up let's get a sack right so we go into his trailer and he's like all right we're gonna get to that sack uh we'll be back in 10 minutes i was like who will be back in 10 minutes he's like we will be you stay here and watch my place and i was like what like what the [ __ ] are you talking about is what i'm thinking but then i just go like yeah cool totally so you're in his trailer and he's like watch it for me i'm like oh no like i'm feeling like that like real fear but i go yeah no problem man like i watch people's houses all the time like totally
[ __ ] right terrified right and then he goes like the you walk in the trailer you're in the living room because that's the way trailer is right you walk into it there's a bedroom to the right it's like waiting here on the bed he's like there's a 45 and a 12 gauge and he goes anybody comes in my in my house you shoot him and i was like right and then he's like except for my mama my mama comes home don't shoot her and i was like got it and except i kept trying to be cool about it i was like yeah like that's what's up i know i know what you're saying man go get that sack totally like trying to be like he was like all right they walk out they leave me in his trailer with two guns and a [ __ ] message to not to shoot everybody but his mother and i just sit there and watch the mtv video music awards and the whole time like every show that comes i just i'm rocking and i'm actually hoping that it's an intruder versus his mom because i feel like if it's his mom she might accidentally shoot her or or how is she going to react to my explanation like patpat just told me to wait here well he's getting some weed for me but i'm not suppo i'm supposed to shoot everybody but you are you cool with that and she's like oh yeah it happens all the time like how are you going to react to this so i [ __ ] i mean i'm having a panic attack we finally they come back we get back in with uh we wipe pete he drives us back and i'm sitting there we get like i'm like what the [ __ ] dude that was the worst [ __ ] ever like i'm [ __ ] terrified he's like yeah him and patpat stephen pat became like best friends so they became like like super close like that was like his guy he would then i'd be like no dude i don't want to hang out with papad at all and like six months later when steve got his license we went he was like you want to get some weed today i was like yeah yeah yeah so where we go we go to four piers pull up to pat pat's and i'm like god damn it
like so you remembered how to get there he did steve had started going there all the time oh my god we pull up to his trailer this time he kicks out now this time like well they're friends so this is probably gonna be a much quicker thing he comes out he jumps in the back and he's like all right let's roll and i was like ah no like we're gonna [ __ ] look for a sack again like i thought you just have this [ __ ] so this time we went to this but this is the thing papa scared the [ __ ] out of me the first time but that second time he saved our life actually because we went from his trailer the second time where he jumped in the back went to avenue d which is the [ __ ] shitty street in fort pierce like if you're going to like every city you know you have like i don't know whatever city you're in there like that's have you ever seen have you been to a street where you see open drug dealing where there's not even some type of los angeles right but but you've been down a street where there's like there's no pretense about it there's just like los angeles what's which part of it we're filming fear factor we were actually filming the playboy playmate edition of fear factor downtown area and we were yeah we were watching people sell drugs smoke crack right there we were in a crane yeah and we're like i go look there's smoke and crack and the girl's like oh my god they are smoking crack and like this is ridiculous yeah no one's protecting us we're up here in a crane that was exactly like this where we pulled up in in steve's car and the windows come down we just get surrounded like the car got surrounded by six guys and they reach in their jackets and they go at this they this one guy goes y'all look familiar and this other guy goes yeah y'all look real familiar you've been here before now when you when somebody says that you look familiar you've been here before how would you answer that
how did you say it nope nope right and exactly at that moment i go no and steve at the exact same goes yep yes oh man and then they're like see i told you man y'all look like the white boys they've been snatching bags around here i was like oh [ __ ] like you look like the white boys that have been taking bags from guys i'm like no dude that's not us steve's like but we have been here before i'm like will you shut the [ __ ] up oh pat is in the back like hold on he gets out and like walks up talks to all of them like uh you know like he's the ambassador right like i don't know what [ __ ] like i own these guys they're with me right like [ __ ] and they totally let us go but if without without him we would have been [ __ ] what's that noise what is that somebody's phone that's not mine no it's me pat pat pat pat is still i don't know what happened to patpat and white pete who knows not good things probably not good things man you should facebook um can you facebook pap-pap but that would be the next person that makes up a fake twitter account that's a real that was i had real fear oh yeah you're like for a good [ __ ] reason oh like when you feel your stomach dropping you're like what's gonna happen right now oh my god [Music] you