Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWkLKU0KlDQ
here yeah it is right it's it's uh delicious wow you recorded one beautiful Jamie and my [ __ ] laptop is on this is my real laptop folks you know it's not like we have a dedicated laptop in the studio I actually use this laptop on the road it's not just here this laptop is mine it's very important to me D thanks for warning me about the werewolf in the in the lobby scared the [ __ ] out of me when I came in did that thing make you [ __ ] your pants it was eyeballing me speaking of [ __ ] in your pants I didn't tell you that it was there no Jamie tell them tell them about the law tell them about the law I [ __ ] in your pants you were reading me oh uh there's a headline here that says um let me see San Francisco just San Francisco finally able to ban people who [ __ ] on their Subway they finally can ban people before it was like considered okay San Francisco is a beautiful place it's a very unusual place just go into that corner so it's important for a place like San Francisco to exist to be that far off the left wi Trail know what's interesting about they're really conservative up there they're just conservative liberals you know mean that's very well put uning you know exactly what they think on every issue this uh this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by squarespace.com I don't know if Squarespace is in San Francisco but a lot of smart [ __ ] are a lot of smart smart dudes up there brilant well they got Sunny Veil right near there with all the Techno people yeah Atherton and all that uh Squarespace is um a website building website if you've ever thought about starting your own website just just to [ __ ] write [ __ ] down just to create a blog just for fun just to you know whatever you know make a website with pictures of you and your friends start a business if you wanted to do that Squarespace is like one of the easiest ways to do it unlike in the past where you had to like get to know a program and like learn Dream Weaver or actually try to code it yourself with HTML which is so beyond my grasp I don't even I wouldn't even think about attempting to do that I know how stupid I am but with Squarespace you can do it and it's pretty easy and there's a bunch of different cool designs and you don't have to even pay to try it out if you go
to squarespace.com slj you don't need to give them any credit card just go and check it out and if you want to use it then you use the code name Joe and what is it now it's five it's [ __ ] may may Joe five so that's one word it's Joe and the number five together so squarespace.com Joo and the offer code is joe5 it's a really cool website building um machine really it's it makes it so much easier than back in the D and you can make like a really competent site and you can build an online store like super easy to do so go check it out you [ __ ] whoa God threw it that was good do you like that I threw that angry part at the end it made me legit good even though I'm selling them something you got you got ghetto on I got to get my street cred back [ __ ] that's what it is yeah you know folks there's a certain amount of grossness in selling anything and I'll absolutely admit that there's a certain amount of grossness in saying this same thing over and over again go to Ting and Ting's a cool company and yeah but at least you don't sell [ __ ] you don't believe in that is true um and if I'm wrong about any of this stuff I'll let you know as well like what if Ting turned out to be evil you know Ting was a secret branch of the government designed to get you more happy with your phone people were getting discontent so Ting came along with a better deal calm everybody down it's another conspiracy we need people on the phone we need them on the phone all the time man let's make it cheaper come on let's make it cheaper have you ever met anybody through uh well you wouldn't have to you You' been you're with somebody but the idea like cuz I saw from online black people meet black people have one commercial did you see that no what is this it's just black a place for black people to meet black people they're so hard why did you just go to a black neighborhood go to a bar they have a website well if it's you know nothing wrong with being specific you know I mean if you can't imagine Italians meeting Italian hey an you don't think so there's got to be an Italian is looking for Italian website there got to be it's like J yeah because Italians love other Italians I I never been out with an Italian girl oh they're the worst they're the best and the worst
I've related to them they're Savages sexually they're [ __ ] animals oh my goodness they're [ __ ] beasts they're they're like they yeah they're Savages they're Savages I that this they're too I I you know I I'd like a girl who's not like me I used to like you used to say she's a good kid she's a good kid I but the last Italian girlfriend I had was she's like she's like likely to swing at me she would get crazy yeah yeah that's what my friend said to me about it he said I'd never cheat on my wife I'd be afraid she'd stabed me in the neck I was asleep yeah this girl like to yell I had aali girlfriend the last that was the last one I was like before I met you though yeah I was like I think I was 21 she was great kid I mean beautiful person but they're just wild you keep in touch with her no I do not no I do not just testing you uh Tang is the other podcast sponsor um Ting is a cell phone company that uses the Sprint backbone and um what it does is they they have it set up so there's no contract so you can quit anytime you want you buy the phones the phones that they sell are the best Android phones available they have all the high-end Android devices including the Sam Samsung Galaxy Note 2 which is this crazy [ __ ] phone if you've never seen this thing before it's it is preposterous it's a gigantic Preposterous phone what's the one that starts your car and all that is there one that does that I saw it last night it starts it's sets the climate in the car like if it's cold out so ridiculous it starts your [ __ ] car how is that possible is that really possible an app that starts your car oh yeah because there's they had that those remotes for a while cuz they they would do it like in cold like in montre cold places Tommy rare I'm not ready for this yet you I'm not ready for apps to start your [ __ ] car I'm not ready for that that's too much the car pulls up get in Joe Jesus that's coming that's that's Google cars they're doing that already Dom they already have these remote control cars that they drive around the city and they drive themselves they react to cars coming at them they haven't even been getting in accidents it's nuts it's [ __ ] nuts I still wouldn't trust it I can't imagine sitting in the back seat
with my car driving itself there are a lot of [ __ ] [ __ ] out there Dom that drive cars there's a lot of [ __ ] [ __ ] I saw some kid the other day just weaving in out of traffic speeding he was flying past people and like a real like there was a lot of car well he just was in the wrong place at the right time you know he was doing the wrong thing at the right time there was no cops anywhere by him but with the way he was driving was like really crazy aggressive like cutting people off and racing in front of them it was dangerous like he was like he was cutting like random Strangers Like off like barely missing their car it was kind of maniacal to watch like every now and then you just get a person like that it's just really crazy I read an article about teenagers that their brains aren't fully developed and there's a reason they get in so many accidents because their perception and their reactions are good physically but they make wrong choices terrible choices I was a terrible driver when I was a te oh I'm a terrible driver now see me drive don't even watch me pull out would you be happy if Google came along with something you could say take me home and the [ __ ] robot car takes you home that's coming you mind mind if I open up a six-pack I would definitely now if you're drinking and driving and you're not your car is driving itself can you still get arrested it's a very good question because you would have to it would have to know for sure you know where you're going right no you know wouldn't you couldn't tell it to hey go [ __ ] drive in the wrong lane of this street I mean there would have to be some sort of it would have to have a a thing that said it couldn't do so then then it would have to be how does it know when there's a light that turns green how does it know when there's a light that turns red and it's going to have to like be plug plugged into the whole system there's going to be have to be you know if you really think about it it's going to have to be like a Wi-Fi network or something everywhere that controls these cars I mean they would have to have like real control to to let a car go and just drive around with no person touching the the handles and and make sure that it stays on path yeah wow I would think that would be really hard
be hard to trust I mean I don't know how you're controlling it I don't understand what's how's it getting to it it's got to get there from a cell phone Ser there's got to be some sort of a signal that's reaching the car unless the car is just a robot yeah a self-sufficient robot which is even crazier that means no one's controlling it that means it just goes on you know what it knows about what's in front of it with radar or whatever it's using Sonar I don't know what it's using but woo that's crazy that's kind of nuts yeah I think uh and if that happens that's an app so you get to [ __ ] take down marera home app and you press that on your phone and your [ __ ] car just drives you home that why is that so weird to me of course that's coming right take me home are you hungry That's all coming isn't it it's coming it's coming it's amazing how technology has advanced so much in The Last 5 Years it's Madness D Mya Madness we have panic attacks if we forget our cell phone now I have a panic attack if I forget my cell phone yeah and you know it's it's so valuable for finding [ __ ] out it's so valuable for like going on websit nobody has to read anymore because they can get the the answers at their fingertip yes well it's not that you don't have to read but man information is Flowing so much quicker now like if you you had a question before Google it would be like a really hard thing to do to research the question and there was like a lot of people who developed some really good [ __ ] arguments back in those days and the they don't hold up anymore because of Google Wikipedia is not necessarily always right so that's the only thing you ever hear in the argument yeah there's always a yeah that's a that's a big one people love to say that there's but there's always going to be people downplaying it but the bottom line is it's no one knows everything it's impossible and you can find more more things because of this like this is amazing this is a great time to be alive this is your phone you [ __ ] pick up your phone and you talk to it and tell it to go to websites for you I mean this is where we live you ever use that Google Voice oh yeah you it's the [ __ ] you press it and you say damera and it'll go right to your website pulls up I like the one where you go call call
Joe oh yeah that's great too yeah yeah they call Joe yeah they almost all of them also have uh the ability to uh read text so you can you can talk to it and it'll write [ __ ] down for you which is really helpful like you ever use that um that note thing on the iPhone uh yeah oh it's beautiful you can talk to it Dom like I can press this button and say d my is a bad [ __ ] and it literally will say d my R is a bad [ __ ] aming I was trying to get a porn this morning oh you s on your phone no no on a direct Direct TV and it was cuz it was cougars seeking kittens which which I don't know I find very erotic like the older women that like young girls really yeah yeah so look nasty and the [ __ ] thing wouldn't listen to my phone phone number I I kept saying 694 she goes 695 and then I'm getting mad at the [ __ ] computer I go will you open up your [ __ ] ears 6 694 you [ __ ] douchebag this is what you get for trying to buy porn I know why you trying to buy porn it was super specific yeah and I just I'm too lazy to to download it and [ __ ] I hear you it's always much easy to use that credit card yeah it is cuz they just send it to your bill you don't even have to you have to read the letters go to rogan.com and save 25 bucks it's a credit what is it's a cell phone company with no contracts I like the no contracts thing cuz that's another commitment in life I'd rather not make why do you need it for cell phones that always bugs me that's a it's a gross one and they keep adding a couple years every time you take it back to [ __ ] those [ __ ] D marera Tang doesn't do that it's a conspiracy they also they save you money on uh the bill by if you don't use like if you use under your minutes they credit you the difference on your next bill they bump you down to a lower level and they credit you the difference it's it's an awesome company they're great uh check them out um on it.com is our last sponsor if you go go to Onnit if you haven't been there in a while there's a lot of new [ __ ] especially in the strength and conditioning um Department we have these Primal Bells now which are insane they're the the coolest [ __ ] kettle bell in the history of the Universe um
we uh had the idea of doing kettle bows with uh these evil chimpanzee faces on them and this uh this chimpanzee's face can you pull that face up Jamie it's chimpanzee's face it just looks like he's about to [ __ ] kill you can you see it oh I see it I I love that thing cuz I when I work out with it I pretend that I'd have to fight that thing to the death that's what I do when I work out it puts the fear of God into you what amazing how much stronger they are than us oh it's not even it's we're so silly cuz they look kind of the same size as us so you get super confused but we are made out of jello okay and that that thing is corded steel though chimpanzees are stupid strong like we can't even get it around our head it would be so strong that once it grabbed a hold you you would feel so helpless you'd feel so helpless 150 lb chimp is like a 500 PB man remember the one that ate that woman's face oh Jesus Christ Dum they're so terrifying these [ __ ] things so to have one as a kettle bell is the [ __ ] son and it's only 36 PBS and you're like Joe Rogan I ain't no [ __ ] and I'm like dude I didn't say you were but the reality is I have a workout for you uh that will work with that 135lb kettle bell I guarantee you it'll kick your ass it's the extreme kettle bell cardio DVD we sell it on uh on it.com and we have the new one extreme kettle bell 2 which I haven't done yet but I'm sure it's awesome that guy Keith Weber is a bad [ __ ] and um it's a great way to like you force yourself to just keep up with him just force yourself to do what he's doing and it'll just kick your [ __ ] ass see I'm built like that under my present body I know D Mara you're in there it's in there it's right underneath my layer we got to get you uh using a [ __ ] medicine ball doing some body weigh wats D Herrera eating healthy cheers to that Cheers Cheers Cheers talking healthy drinking beer ladies and gentlemen that's that D Brewery black but Porter that stuffs the [ __ ] I said I said black butt black butt [ __ ] stupid how dare you but it looks basically it should be like butt tte why is that but why is it but I don't know why is houseon Street not called Houston Street that's a good [ __ ] question godamn it see I got
questions as well I've got a lot of observations like other comedians only mine aren't funny they just observations someday I'm going to upgrade them we are going to end this commercial right here and now this was a commercial yeah [ __ ] for the kettle bells for everything for life so was T kettle bells on it is on it is for Life D rera yo that might be the douchiest [ __ ] I've ever said in my life it is for life on it's for life if you were starting a cult that's how you would say it but the reality is you have a cult this is a a podcast okay this is uh we're selling healthy food that's all done you have a cult though this is not but this is not nothing to do you have a following like a cult follow hey I'm a part of something that's uh it's not under my control on my R it's not under my control use the code name Rogan blah blah blah save some money yeah if you use the code name Rogan you save uh 10% sent off any and all supplements just go there check it out a lot of good stuff healthy stuff for you and C the music Jamie the great D [ __ ] Irrera is here experience Train by day joog podcast by night all day my long time friend one of my longest timest friends in the history of my life Mr Dominic thank you s Dom and I have been friends for [ __ ] it's been at least 20 years now that weird yeah it's crazy it was 20 years right brought you up in mreal that's the first time I remember I think it was ' 93 yeah I think that was 93 and then we met in uh Amsterdam Billiards uh and uh you know we talked for a little bit I didn't know you played pool and I was all excited there's only a few of us that play pool like uh Ferrara Adam Ferrara plays really good pool you know fit Simmons Fitz Simmons plays really good pool Ari plays good pool yeah this is like get so excited I remember bringing you up thinking this is a new bra comedian this kid looks like a [ __ ] tough kid even when I didn't know you were in the martial arts I thinking I mean you were funny you were always funny I'm not just stroking you but uh remember bringing up thinking this ain't the [ __ ] kid who had problems with his mother that talks about this you know what I mean it was it was a different and I told you this before your group of comedians were like
more tougher men I grew up with a lot of like nebbishy kind of well I I grew well doing comedy I started out in Boston and that those guys were particularly ground yeah they were particularly manly you know who made me think that I could do it honestly like who it didn't make me think that the way I looked would be an impediment was Nick doollo oh okay cuz Nick depalo was like a great head of hair he a [ __ ] devastatingly handsome guy he was way better looking than me and he was bigger than me he's a big like a football player he was football but he was hilarious and I was like like he was a weight off my shoulders cuz I remember thinking that I looked like like an athlete or something and it looked like a jock you know if you look like a jock like you're automatically categorized and it automatically makes you less funny yeah yeah no it's definitely I mean there's like look at Gary go Gary gemman yes perfect example beautiful Man Too Tall too yeah too beautiful he's perfect yeah he's a hunk he's cute you know I like about his hips he's got beautiful hips he's [ __ ] devastatingly handsome man he's he's big he's handsome One Time ker he's hunky he's hunky I'd like to take him to a prison cell uh glor Klinger right we're in Ireland remember remember sure yeah very funny very pretty too she's dressed she looks like a [ __ ] model and she's dying on stage and she's really funny she goes what happened I go you look too good the guys can't laugh at you the girls don't think you're funny cuz you're too pretty and the guys can't laugh CU their girlfriends are looking at them to see if they're looking at you do you know who you know Brian Frasier do you remember Brian Frasier from Boston uh probably I don't he stopped doing stand up but uh he he writes we we I haven't spoke to him in quite a bit but uh he at one point in time was enormous he was a bodybuilder and he I mean he was super he's like he's one of those like super dedicated super disciplined dudes that can like force himself to work an hour and a half a day and eat strictly healthy he was [ __ ] gigantic I mean he was huge and he would go on stage with like a golf shirt on and I had to pull him I go dude you can't wear that right and he's like why and I go cuz you're too big I go trust me I go you got to trust me in this
because I go dude I I you know you're my friend and you you make me nervous like your [ __ ] arms are gigantic he had like pythons in his arms they were too big you couldn't stop you couldn't not look at them how about Piscopo when he got you know those things at the carnival where you stick your head into the muscle man's body yeah that's what piso looked like yes no no no Brian Frasier was bigger than him yeah I'm telling you Fraser was the big no he was not no no piso maybe yeah but Frasier was just like super dedicated he was like crazy dedicated here's it's a funny [ __ ] story cuz he he he's a really funny guy and he looks like maybe like an Irish guy from the Midwest but he's Jewish and he's he at this time had like a really [ __ ] he's you know he's got a temper and he doesn't like people [ __ ] with him you know he he was I mean he and I never had any problems but he was at a gig in Vermont once and we were together we worked together up there and um the he had a little bit of a problem with his voice uh he had a little bit of a cold and so he was uh saying to the uh to the uh owner of the club he was like apologizing for his uh his voice being uh [ __ ] up yeah and the the the guy on the club said something like you know what what are you being a Jew or something o something along those lines like you sound like a Jew right cuz he didn't think he was Jewish yeah yeah yeah it was something along those lines it was like really crude and like and Brian went [ __ ] crazy he went crazy it was a desk between him and the guy and that's probably the only thing that stopped him from smashing this guy but he was so scary cuz he was like really [ __ ] strong and I remember thinking like cuz back then like I didn't even lift weights like I I never lifted weights through my ta window days I was like I was pretty skinny in comparison he was like way bigger than me I was like God damn it I don't know if I I can stop him from from hurting this guy yeah yeah you know cuz he's just so much stronger than him you can just run right through him like a bull but that one thing that the guy said to him like don't be a Jew like what are you being a Jew I forget I forget what it was but I remember like going oh [ __ ] like that's the moment where you're trying to talk your friend
out of doing something really stupid where the moment like I know how you feel I know how you feel and you're right to be upset but please don't do anything let's get the [ __ ] out of here if you do something right now that's gonna be stupid it's a mistake and it's gonna [ __ ] up your freedom you're gonna get locked in a cage you're not gonna do this it's not what civilized people do keep the [ __ ] away from people if you don't like them but you don't have to beat them up you know that that gets real weird I I know when you get that look that you you're thinking it but you don't go into action remember one night we were some drunken kids came up to us at the pool hole and one kid just [ __ ] lit you up and you I just looked at you I thought I know he ain't going to lose it but uh this kid has no idea the [ __ ] danger he's in well he was I I remember what you're talking about it's just drunk men yeah I mean I couldn't imagine what it's like to be a woman and deal with a drunk man wanting to hold you down and [ __ ] you the same type of like occasion you you would just run into people that are just maybe they're not like that when they're sober I don't know I mean you know some people just have a problem they drink and they just get weird but when you're around like aggressive drunk dudes it's so unfortunate it's like oh what a [ __ ] predicament this has got to suck to be a chick then they start repeating themselves and but I always say look the you know it does it bothers me a little bit but at least it's not threatening like it is to a chick I really always think about that when when I see those kind of like really drunk douchy guys it's it's got to be a terrifying thing to have a guy you know want to hold you down and [ __ ] you just it is it is Joe it's got to be awful is tell me the truth tell me the truth it's terrible I can't take it anymore backs killing me when you were saying the thing about you know it's kind of [ __ ] that that's still around isn't it yeah well you know I you know with my goddaughter living with me uh I I can't sleep unless she's home you know what I mean and like honestly my godson he's like close blood if he got blown at a party by the kid's mother who threw the party I go Danny that must tell me about it you know and don't rat it don't rat the lady out yeah but you
know what I mean it's like it's so different with girls it's totally different it's totally different I was thinking of something you said before about when you when he said the guy was Jewish and he didn't you know how you're part of your culture you're part of your background I was married to a Jewish woman right and one day I said not meaning it in anything just my own ignorance I said yeah maybe we can J we can Jud a guy down and she said that's really insulting I go why and she she explained it to me so then I just start saying let's Christian that [ __ ] down just just to bring it back on myself that's funny cuz uh Fraser got mad at me for using that expression oh that guy yeah yeah same guy I mean he didn't get mad at me like threaten me you know we were friends but he's like you know that's really a rude thing to say and I thought about I was like you know I've always said it I never thought of it I didn't even think it as a bad thing I was like you know a guy's got gold chains on oh he's guine it up yeah you know you want to get some money oh drew the guy down like it I didn't think that it was bad to be frugal no you know the the I I never connected the two I never meant it as an and then I saw then it was obvious once he said I was like yeah I guess that is pretty insensitive speaking of that do you know that they they got a guy today 95 years old who was a Nazi at one of the camps oh God 95 they arrested him I think you think he's going to get life but but seriously is it did you see it that's a that's a a terrible thing for karma the type guy lived that long Argentina he yeah 95 that was a big thing South America right said he was yeah they all went there he said he was a cook at the C concentration camp Oh my God yeah you know what's scary about the Nazis is that that that [ __ ] was not that long ago these guys are still alive not that long ago yeah they're still alive some of them are still alive well that's what I think about when when Mel Brooks did the producers how fresh that was I mean how [ __ ] balsy was at don't be a dummy be aarty come and join the Nazi party remember you like the when they were doing the goose step dance remember the movie and I was
thinking that was in the 60s and the war didn't end till the 40s 45 I think it was was it 47th though I thought it was 45 but whatever it wasn't that far back and he did this whole thing about Hitler it was [ __ ] hilarious and total balls oh yeah Mel it was 45 at end Mel Brooks was a bad [ __ ] still is still is apparently when i' Brian Ken knows him and it knows oh no no it's Fitz Simmons fit Sim so fit Simmons knows him so this guy just [ __ ] hangs around goes to go to a coffee shop and talk to people met on the street like a super personable guy just a real nice guy enjoying life his [ __ ] son is a badass author yeah his son is the one that wrote that World War Z movie oh yeah yeah his son wrote the book which I guess a lot of people I haven't seen the movie yet obviously oh yeah but a lot of people are pissed that they deviated from the book oh yeah you know sometimes they do that but uh yeah his son's a badass author he did had two of the funniest movies ever Young Frankenstein producers Blazing Saddles three three movies yeah Young Frankenstein was [ __ ] hilarious at the time he was a he was the man I mean if you went to see a Mel Brooks movie like there's really no one to compare it to today because he would act in them he would write them always had to sing or something like I saw high anxiety yeah and he was singing like a louing Lou singer he's going high anxiety and he goes zety each time you are near you know just with the idea of zety so [ __ ] stupid Mel Brooks was a genius man he was a a powerful pro pro prolific genius he did a lot of really good stuff at the time was him and Woody Allen were kind like in I don't know he was more silly yeah is pretty [ __ ] silly oh yeah yeah sure I love the one where he's playing the cello in a marching band but he has to run up and sit down for a couple bars What You Take the Money and Run have you you seen uh Mel Brook's history of the world yeah oh yeah it's funny man it's beautiful stuff it's beautiful stuff at the time like I was just there was nobody there's nobody else like that making movies like that it was like you you heard it was a Mel Brooks movie you knew you were it was a certain standard comedy that you're and get it was great stuff though they could never make
Blazing Saddles today no they couldn't just too bracely charged oh yeah I mean there could never be an all in the family today it's true yeah I don't I don't believe they're and it's sad it's sad people would you know the good thing is look it sucks that people like that ever exist that there really could be a guy like Archie Bunker that's that racist yeah but it's still fun my uncle was like that yeah I we had family members that were like that there were people that were worse than that by the way like way worse than he wouldn't even give black people credit for being good-looking you know what I mean like if like if a black woman was beautiful he go that's a white nose she's got a white no you know what I mean like she he bring up as if all white people are beautiful like something yeah but it was real you know I mean he hat he hated like you know cuz I when I was a kid I grew up with the Beatles he hated the Beatles they were he hated like anything rock and roll that was a ruination of the world well you know what um I think I used to wonder what the [ __ ] that was all about and I think what it really boils down to is that people have these weird natural tribal instincts they have these weird tribal instincts and they belong to a tribe yeah and whether that tribe is being a Republican or whe that tribe is listening into [ __ ] classical music you know whatever the [ __ ] it is that they decide this is where they draw the line This is where they take a stand it's a tribal thing you know it's it's a weird deviations of our need to form groups you know so we'll get upset about [ __ ] that doesn't matter even a little bit I try and uh not be stuck in any one error you know the only thing I was thinking I don't even know if this is funny or not but where's what's going to happen in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 15 years like when there's no groups left and it's like rap music is dominant how you know what I mean like is it going to be like you know with [ __ ] this [ __ ] you know do you not like any rap music at all what do you like well I mean I like like like I I like What's um snoop snoop is great I think I like Eminem I love right uh some of the music we hear you would you like buy Eminem on iTunes yeah I
couldn't imagine seeing D marera like you know I get brought up to they what do you want to lose yourself you know Lose Yourself yeah that song that's [ __ ] great the beginning is great and uh just for you know when you get one chance in a lifetime don't blow it yeah no that's a beautiful song no he's a bad [ __ ] i& know and I like the one Mama never meant to hurt you never tonight I'm cleaning out my closet it's pretty [ __ ] heavy he had some great [ __ ] songs I'm coming out soon does he really good for him man he's brilliant yeah I think he doesn't like to perform I heard that he like has problem he doesn't like to go outside he gets anxiety well you know I mean you know how [ __ ] famous that dude is you know he got so famous I mean he got crazy famous he got famous to the point where it's probably probably [ __ ] with your head yeah well you know I was thinking last time we were shooting pool and you're very good with people but guy got on your nerves because Joe was just we were getting tired and we both both of us were kind of tired and you said I'm [ __ ] racking the balls he wants to take a picture like that made a difference there was no good time the poor guy I mean he was you were nice to him anyway but I just knew you weren't in a mood for it's just drunks it's it's all right and that guy in particular that was no big deal yeah that was just you know someone was just enthusiastic and wanted to take a picture that's all good it does doesn't bother me at all the the what bothers me is the the the drunk thing where you never know the drunk close to your face the clunky repetitive they grab you yeah yeah I really like that grab my neck again I always I go for that I'm I'm cool with everything but the drunk thing and if it seems like you're drunk it's like oo boy I don't know are you drunk how close do I get to you stranger you know you never see me drunk uh I've seen you drunk I've seen you drunk at the Laugh Factory really yeah how long ago at least an hour ago an hour ago um I don't think you've seen me drunk yeah it was it was months ago many many months ago one of the last I mean I've only been to the Laugh Factory maybe three or four times over the past decade you're not going to come back no
I would go back I like what you do that Wednesday night show of mine I'll do whatever you're doing if you're doing [ __ ] there I'll be happy to do your sh breing balls with d marer I'd be happy to do it cuz I like when you do that half hour at the end then we have the interview yeah that was fun you had a great crowd it was there were smart people you know that was a that was a fun crowd but I've been I've been to the laugh actor like I said like four or five times but one of those times you were drunk you [ __ ] I was drunk on stage no no not on stage no one time when the last one time on stage I was drunk cuz I said something and then when I realized I was drunk I said something you go I don't know what the [ __ ] you're talking about you know you didn't even say it like in an attacking way you're like confused and I realized oh [ __ ] you were had yeah cuz he gives me an he gives me an Irish coffee you can't give an Irish coffee with half that there's so much whiskey the coffee's cold oh is that what he did yeah and I'm drinking like drink two of them look at you two of them so what is that like five drinks probably five whiskies yeah oh Jesus Christ oh shots yeah at least that makes my my balls hurt you say that like what else makes your balls hurt right here I was out to a restaurant last night with a friend of mine you know there guys that make everything sexual like whatever and uh the the waitress was her fish was taking long and waitress said get you some zucchini sticks this has nothing to do with sex and and and when she walks away he goes I'll give you a zucchini stick I'll give you the [ __ ] you know what I mean like nothing to do with anything yeah there's dudes that always have that I'll give you your Zu You want a sandwich yeah I'll give you a [ __ ] sandwich a nice meat ball right [Music] here like I said I'm glad I'm not a girl I'm glad you're not a girl too you'd be [ __ ] scary I never seen a girl with such a defin back I've seen him I've seen some big ones how about the one who came out uh last week she's got an Adams Apple who's that she's I forget her name the the she she just went into the pros just they they I think her team won the National
Championship Britney grer yeah when I mean she went in the pros for what I'm not saying she she's got like a beard on her dick she said so [ __ ] she's so [Laughter] masculate but she came out of the closet who is she she's she was the CH she's like the the alltime shop Blocker in the NCAA the women's division for B but she is like a man so this is basketball yeah but I mean the thing is it was it was nothing it meant nothing to anybody then that guy comes out the seven foot guy the twin which he didn't tell his twin brother he was gay did you see that what oh my good he came out of the closet but he came out of the closet at 34 this guy no that's is this guy that but look at her Adams Apple wait a minute hold up what's going on there that's a girl that's a girl you want to hear a voice sure give me a second so she just came out of the closet is that what you're saying she came out of the closet a while ago there's a player who plays in the NBA his name is Jason Collins he just came out this week and a Sports Illustrated right right that was a big deal right yeah was he the first gay player ever he was the first who was actively who still might be playing but he might not even make a team cuz he's 34 and he's not any good that's third Center he might have done it because might done it for that yeah maybe he would go rude you're saying he went gay just to for publicity that's what you're saying might not even gay well no he's gay I can see by the way he Sho before they tie that we like look we're we're ready to uh put this story to bed but uh we need to see sucker [ __ ] first I mean this might be a big publicity you heard Bill talk about it no say he need he should pay a cover charge to go to the shower that's funny that's very funny that's very funny Bill bur I don't get him I love people that say they don't get who says that no you know just somebody who's jealous you know there's a lot of that [ __ ] Bill's as good as any anything out there well you know there's a real disturbing thing in comedy where uh people don't want other people to be good as well you know I don't know what it is but we all know uh certain number of people who been afflicted by that
voluntarily or involuntarily some of them try to kick it yeah well Jimmy Brogan's one of those old bitter guys and you know a nice guy but he's to write for The Tonight Show you know who he is yeah and he was upstairs and somebody was on stage a young comic he goes look listen to them I don't get it I go you know what it doesn't matter they get it listen to the audience they get it it doesn't mean everything's quality but give him credit you know yeah that's a weakness man it's like the why why you know either like it or don't like it but you know to really like Focus all your negative energy on it like that those those people they become a drain yeah it's a that's a a horrible uh aspect to dealing with uh with other people it's like when you're all in the same sort of business together and there becomes a guy who just for one reason or another just can't seem to get it together yeah and so they start spewing Venom and then you're around him you pick that up like if you happen to be working with a guy you know and he's like a middle act he's just bitter and nasty like you can ruin your whole weekend yeah dub David all played in in Invincible he played a character like that was part of Vince papale's group the guy who was the football player who they based the movie on uhhuh and it was an interesting character because he was he's so resentful of his friend's success that when everybody was cheering you just see him looking in his glass and stirring you know like [ __ ] he he got something else in life and here I am at the bar you know what I mean but dub played it really well but it was an interesting cat cuz I thought about I've seen it with comedians when a comedian gets something it's like when I when I started out I started out with Eddie Murphy right right and I was up for Saturday Night Live and I was like I was hired for three episodes I don't know if I ever told you that yeah uh anyway Eddie became a star and people would actually say to me does that bother you I go no do you think if I if any Murphy didn't do 48 hours I would have I said that's nothing to do with me it's him he did it he's talented yeah but what is it that stops people from ever seeing that what is it that makes people just go [ __ ] him [ __ ] Eddie Murphy yeah you know if I was in that movie it' be even
better tell you what [ __ ] Murphy Petty they're Petty and bit he couldn't follow me in Cleveland was just we in Cleveland I [ __ ] buried him he was the middle I I was the middle he was the headlight I was like you seriously well we know so many of them and those stories are so gross the I blew them off the stage stories oh yeah crushed unless they're talking about a [ __ ] and then suddenly they become cool it was a guy you yeah and you're like oh how bad did he eat it uh you know I don't like that guy plates of [ __ ] Joe you know I don't like Bobby Collins right yes I know and and I like there's only three guys I really don't like in comedy and he's one of them and uh I I do this benefit it's called Rags the riches in uh in Vegas it's all these rich Jews and Italian garment guys [ __ ] hilarious crowd they're all you know like they all think they're funny they're [ __ ] and Bobby Collins was there last year right and I said to them I said no matter how bad I do I know I'm not going to be worse than [ __ ] Bobby Collins right and they [ __ ] cheered cuz he had he had a tough set this isn't on the air right no no this is only on the internet it only reaches a um the whole world amount of people so it's just it's a you know it's a weird group I love that I'm that they listen to in Ireland like I told you you're going to be in Kenny in three weeks yeah well that's one of the most beautiful things about the internet is that you can get [ __ ] from anywhere you can listen to a podcast like London real those guys do one from London you could listen to a podcast from Switzerland or Iceland or [ __ ] whatever it's so [ __ ] cool yeah it's taken so much power away from the man when you think about it think about like the man like the main [ __ ] man he was my main man you killed him yeah it definitely does and every comic has a podcast now it's like there's every comedian that I know has a podcast isn't that funny it's amazing yeah it's like having a podcast is like having a Twitter account well it's like having an act I mean you know you can have an act but doesn't mean it's going to be that good yeah you know that's true but it also would like it kind of it's like it's another part of your act sort of you know yeah Jamie and I were talking
about that before before you came in and I asked him and I it was kind of awkward but I had to ask him I said do do you have eye makeup on he's just a beautiful man his his eyes not for nothing not that I was like resting on him I'm just saying as I glanced by uh his eyes look like he has a makeup on he's just beautiful he is beautiful the um the idea that your your um podcast is a part of your act I mean it's like it's uh when you're doing stand up you know one thing that you're selling almost more than anything is like a point of view it's like one of the beautiful things about watching a guy is that you get to you lock into the way he thinking and you go oh I see what he's huh you know and then you start laughing but you you you lock into a point of view you know you figure out a way to lock into his point of view well it's cool to do something without your act yeah you know people like you know uh I told you not to stroke it but you were you were because of the power of your podcast and your popularity you were by far the biggest act we've had on as far as numbers went wow that's awesome yeah and we've had a lot of good guys D marera live from the laugh Factor fun podcast Jamie was on today but you're really good you're you're so well the thing about you is hey we're just giving each other little massage here ladies and gentlemen what we do in Show Business that we celebrate each other you just uh you know you're the real deal so you you don't [ __ ] things you don't fake things it's really do rare where they're talking some people for whatever reason can't do that they get weirded out if they're doing an interview or they they they have that hard time just completely be in themselves well you don't have to do a punchline every [ __ ] every sentence well you know that but there's a lot of guys who don't you know they get nervous the thing I love about you Dom is that you stayed you always like stayed true to stand up like stand up is always the big thing for you no matter what you like you would occasionally like do a TV show or you know you like be great if I got a series but uh you know I'm a standup comic like that's what I do and you've always loved it you're always
writing new [ __ ] you're always improving I still love it you still love it and you still come up with new [ __ ] all the time too that's like so important it's so it's such a um it's like a it's such a rare little sort of group of of of people that we know that like really really love and appreciate the artist standup yeah Brian Kum does [ __ ] yeah he does [ __ ] Ari does Ari does yeah yeah I went on after Brian the other night at the LA Factory he he had a terrific set I'm busting I'm busting the crowd and second so nice to follow Brian because he sets the bar so low whatever you know like just you he he starts hollering at me from upstairs they know we're [ __ ] friends I wouldn't do it like I I you know like when I host a show I said the true sign I don't like a person is if I give him a straight nice intro if I'm being nice and just give that means I don't I don't have time for him it's and what people don't understand too was like if you we bust each other's balls and it's really like a pleasure it's fun like if you say some stupid [ __ ] about me if I say some stupid [ __ ] about you we enjoy it of course like we make each other laugh and some people don't see that like they see like two Comics busting each other's balls and they think like oh they are asserting dominance and hurting each other's feelings like no they're having fun and the fact that they can do it to each other you know and it's it's part of being a comic the busting balls thing is a part of being yeah well when you said something a couple minutes ago about the guys who seriously talk about themselves in comedy like you you know what I first of all I'm not bragging but I was incredible I buried him he couldn't follow me they should have have a music act on after me just to calm the audience down there was a guy that he shall name remain nameless but he had a a website names man that's what we're on a podcast had a website and in his website it uh it had a whole story about how we blew Dice off the stage couldn't follow him yeah who would that be oh I don't know but it's the [ __ ] silliest [ __ ] I've ever read I was like okay what are you talking about one of the things I like about dice is nothing phases him on stage he doesn't give a [ __ ] he did that special
he he aired that that 2 CD special called the day the laughter died and he went up essentially went up at dangerfields in New York unannounced no knew he was going there and if you've uh ever been to dangerfields dangerfields when I was a kid when uh I first came to New York I fell in love with dangerfields that was my spot in New York City it an Old Time Nightclub it was an oldtime nightclub it was off the Beaten Track they gave you half an hour the the crowds were very small except like weekends and like sometimes uh like prom shows were like packed there but you it was it was where they filmed the Ronnie Dangerfield HBO special yeah it was there to me that was to it was there was Mecca in New York you know I I went there all the time but you you we had to work with some really [ __ ] crazy people who was this Scottish guy who was the bouncer owner whatever Jimmy he was a character he was it's not a Frank he looked like he was sitting down and he was standing he was so squat he was a brick house a bowling ball he was a brick house that guy was gigantic you don't get a [ __ ] laugh for [ __ ] sake he was a powerlifter that dude yeah he would like grab people and throw them out he's a gentleman up until someone wasn't a gentleman to him and you [ __ ] up like he you notice he was a big guy but he was like deceptively strong like he would do crazy weightlifting things he had um like cement buckets know buckets plastic buckets yeah he had them filled with cement he would do exercises with them he did powerlifting he did a lot of crazy [ __ ] that guy was stupid strong yeah what but he was perfect for the night Club he was hilarious too he was always you are going to try again with that shite Act of yours he would he would bust your balls but it was warm you know it's like he would do it with like a half a smile on his face and he be like hey man I'm just trying to do my thing and he would laugh he was a good dude but if you ever got in a tussle with that guy oh my God he was terrifying I saw him pick a guy up by his neck he grabbed the guy by the back of the neck and just hoisted him up in the air but he's essentially doing it completely by his neck these prom shows kids would come in and they would get so [ __ ] up oh yeah they were so [ __ ] up
do you remember Alo Bell yeah a kid went on stage took the microphone away from Alo Bell and blew cigar smoke in his face wow it was crazy what Al do he didn't know what to do he didn't want to get in physical confrontation with him me Al was a lawyer remember yeah yeah so he he he backed away and you know I don't remember what the I don't remember how it was resolved cuz this was Jesus this is like 1991 or something like that '92 anybody ever come on stage with you no no you know I don't it wasn't his fault it was just the kid was like really [ __ ] up the kid was really big too he was a big like football player looking kid he was just uh really bold you know they were all trying to be Superstars this was like they were at dangerfields and it was clear that no one really had the run of the place it was almost impossible to to Coral the crowds oh yeah that crazy yeah that prom crowd is also so it's one one of it's like St Patrick's Day it's one day everybody gets [ __ ] up and they were tough it was the craziest shows I ever worked in my life without a doubt because first of all you would work from like the time it was dark out from like 7:00 you would do shows till 2:00 in the morning you would get off stage at 2: in the morning and people told me that and I didn't believe them but it was like good money the last spot at the Improv used to be 3:45 wow 3:45 on the weekend nights I remember having 3:30 spot wow that is incredible but you know I know if I ever told you this the first time I did stand up for money was $50 at seat in hall right I'm just fresh out of improv improv group all this [ __ ] and I go up on stage and a girl start heckling me she was [ __ ] out of her mind so I bring her up thinking impr right the worst thing I could have done then she's laughing hysterically and then she starts crying hysterically oh my God like sobbing crying and I'm thinking man this [ __ ] standup is harder than looks you know and I don't know what to do and then this guy you wouldn't know this guy he died a long time ago uh he comes up on stage he was like he was a real Pro and he just like took her off took and I found out later that her brother's girlfriend was killed in an accident so she was [ __ ] up on pills and stuff but it was the first time I
ever did standup and he covered for me he did my extra 20 minutes and all but you know like this is my first [ __ ] indoctrination to this whole new life I'm going holy [ __ ] is that harder than it looks what a [ __ ] roll that dice never brought anybody up after that that's funny well it's funny how hard standup really is but then once you get good at it how easy it is well it's easy because you can take your time and you can think like you can literally think when you're doing an act there's it's wrote it's not you know then you're thinking oh if I lose my place I don't have a place right so I can't lose my place cuz it doesn't matter you don't care right if you go up and something you know well you got to you got to always have like things to talk about yeah but I mean if you you don't have like you you don't do the exact same act you know like not even close and that that makes it so much easier because then you you know you're free and that's when that's when I think it gets easy yeah that is when it gets easy that's why I hate doing like The Tonight Show and [ __ ] like that when they have it scripted of what you're going to say takes all the fun and spontaneity away from me well it's really unfortunate that that's still the thing those little seven minute conversations they're the hardest thing I do yeah especially CU you you're doing it with a stranger you know I mean even if they're I mean who's the closest who who you friends with out of all those guys Craig Ferguson or uh you mean Conan do you do Conan no I do Craig and and Fallon so like even though you see those guys like you know maybe every now and again you don't really like buddies with them it's not like sit down with them and be no but I got to say the thing about Ferguson he never gets to a question he all the times I've done I've done a show probably eight times never gets they ask they the pre- interiew and the producers call the segment producers and they're so worried about what you're going to say and know oh he doesn't know much about baseball but he knows about the football and all right all right and then never gets to a [ __ ] thing wow I had one of my most fun moments ever on television on his show because he asked me he he plugged a date at my Denver
Comedy Works and I had already done it I said boyy you got a really cracked staff here I said I've gotten so hot they have to post plug my dates because it' be a riot if they all knew I was there right and he goes and then he he says to me from his desk look we'll start over I go I ain't starting over and he walks over I go look I got a spot at the left Factory I got to get to I said I'm I'll do I said I'll do my little monkey dance for you and I'll come over and talk to you but I ain't starting over and we had like a fake fight but it was great cuz the audience knew it was real you know what I mean and then went over to the panel and we just [ __ ] around that's great well he's a funny guy and he's uh he apparently does a lot of standup too right does a lot of stand up yeah there's a lot of Road gigs I know there's been places that I've been where they said he was just there or was going there yeah good for him man it's just uh I would I would like to see him even more in an uncensored format for hours you know like to see F guy I've only worked with him once he in at Toronto you know when I really became a fan of his um when he was talking about Britney Spears do you remember that no what did he say it was I don't want to paraphrase but it was right around the time when she kept running into all these problems it was obviously there was something wrong which she was [ __ ] tail spinning he um he he made basically was like why does everybody care about this like you're talking about a little girl who needs help like a young girl who needs help and it was It was kind of I mean didn't say little girl but young lady who needs help and it was really kind of um it was refreshing like was this isn't you could tell wasn't something that was like he was posturing and he was uh making an attempt at saying this because he just wanted to achieve some moral High ground or something like that it was a real like like it felt like he has a voice he's on television let's see if I can just get this message out and it was so right it was because it was like why is everybody freaking out about this young lady who obviously does have problems when we're in the middle of [ __ ] two different Wars and who knows what else is going on in the world who knows what the [ __ ]
else is going on yeah well it's like Lindsay Lohan now it's like she makes the news and but it's so we're so weird with that man it's so weird to fix we like to build somebody up and knock them down it's so weird to fixate on individuals like that it's so weird that yeah we definitely like to build them up and knock them down there's no doubt about that but it's weird how how people just get locked into that yeah you know what's Lindy Lohan up to now it's like once she becomes like this side show they just there's a market she become it's almost like she becomes infected with Fame and then that Fame it [ __ ] sucks onto her and she needs it sort of to give her money and and they need her and people like her to fuel the their you know their little publicity machine it's really fascinating stuff cuz they also have an incestuous relationship a lot of times some of these celebrities they actually choose to get their photos taken they ask they ask to set things up and their publicist set things up to keep them you know in the in the chatter fascinating we had Justin Bieber at the Laugh Factory one night and I knew he was up there and you know he even said a couple things to me I was hosting and he had that really cute little chick that he goes out with I forget she's a singer I think it's Selena Gomez yeah right beautiful I'm sad I know that but I do she's beautiful but set before I could anyway he uh his his manager came up to Jamie to ask me to mention that he was there I thought that was so unusual because you know a lot of times like say Shawn Penn comes in he just wears his baseball cap down nothing not a word right you know and this kid won the detention I'm thinking how much [ __ ] attention do you need you're like one of the most famous famous 16-year-olds ever ever you know well that's you know he wanted to be brought up you I mean like like get hand for him and all this [ __ ] really yeah well he's probably you know it's his thing gets a kick out of doing that yeah he can just show up places and people cheer him I bet he could like do that just show up at a restaurant ladies and gentlemen Justin Bieber's here yay that's a fascinating thing man it's fascinating to me that people comp movie stars and couldn't give a [ __ ] about the guy who's laying in the alley star you
know it's like Well he seems like he's handling it way better than most people would well it's pretty unusual ual yeah I mean he's like yeah he says some silly things every now and again but he's like 17 years old or 18 years old whatever he is you should see the girlfriend young kid that girl is [ __ ] hot you can't say that I think she's too young to say all to say she's hot she's 18 okay but if she's 17 I think you got to lie to yourself what a girl 17 I she was just 17 you know what I mean don't forget yeah right that was okay just sing back then yeah but don't forget he was only 20 how about Jean Simmons Christine 16 oh yeah remember that Christine oh was kiss 16 yeah yeah yeah that was a jeene Simmons she was just 17 you know what I mean but the way she looked was like Beyond Compare wow but this was a Jean Simmons was saying how he has to have her I've got to have you I've got to Chris that's a great [ __ ] song and if you say it's not a great song I say [ __ ] you [ __ ] that's good that's a mature reaction that's how I handle it [ __ ] you [ __ ] you can't [ __ ] on my childhood yeah there was there were a couple sweet 16 songs yeah there was a lot of creepy dudes Back Then That Got Away With It creepy if you're 18 people died younger back then that's what it was we're not talking about the Roman Empire Joe what it was D marera people died earlier back then it's a known fact that's what people could have said before before yeah before Google that's a big point right there a known fact and that guy could just [ __ ] you in the ground and there's nothing you could say if he was good at [ __ ] you be like all right no you just don't want to [ __ ] admit the encyclopedia pedia britanica I've read all the volumes like you don't know if you read it ah [ __ ] we're in a quagmire here you can't get out of this [ __ ] conversation [ __ ] asshole's just bullshitting I know he's bullshitting and then you find out years later that he was bullshitting fact that's funny those [ __ ] those it's a known fact guys they talk some crazy [ __ ] you can look it up I can't look it up yet imagine what if you were like a long long time bullshitter like if you're a
crazy con man type dude and you're just just a an excellent bullshitter for many many years wonder how pissed those people were when Google came along oh I know like all of a sudden you know like they could make up the name of a company make up the name of a corporation now you'd go do you have a website and they'd be like no we don't have a website you'd be like oh really I was watching Catch Me If You Can the other day where Leonardo DiCaprio is just like he becomes a pilot when he's 17 making checks and getting money you can't do that [ __ ] today son walked into a bank and they beli him because he was a pilot did he perform an operation too or is that the one uh maybe I don't know yeah the the idea that you could like have a fake company and get people to invest in your fake company and then you get oh where's the money [ __ ] that those days are you mean you have to be really dumb I'm sure there's people that are really dumb or get you know the super gullible older folks people with mental illnesses that get sucked into weird deals yeah and and people that are trying to get a quick Buck like the made off thing made off thing I was personally affected by that cuz people I love but a lot of people were just looking for people that you love lost money oh millions millions wow well you love a lot of people that are [ __ ] powerfully rich I know some people juming around that's a lot of money around couple times yeah that Bernie made off thing was to me you know what that showed that showed that this is a crazy system because if you guys didn't know he was cheating yeah how is it possible how is it possible it was like a pyramid scheme and there people still collecting money so they were they were teased by it constantly well they weren't just teased they benefited and profited from it immensely some of them made like big profits but there's other ones that lost so much [ __ ] money oh yeah that guy just went baller on everybody just had everybody's money all tucked away and just squirel it off crazy [ __ ] sociopathic [ __ ] and it's just what are you trying to say I just he ain't a bad guy just a victim circumstance probably a psychopath but the idea that it's possible for a guy to do that that was so disheartening for me because I thought that it was more
complicated and I thought it was more secure than that I thought some of it had to do with the greed of the People Too of wanting to be quick quickly rich or you know and these are people that like I said like I know a lot of people that then and I care about them but they they readily admit they were looking for a quick Buck right of course yeah well that's what he was promising right he was promising big returns to a lot of people right it's just a shocking thing like what he how much money he was handling you know it's really shocking yeah and then the wife's trying to squirrel some away and disappear into the night where the husband's locked up in jail for the rest of his life did one of his sons commit suicide I think so oh Jesus Christ it was tough you IM he should have just changed his name oh my God should have just what changed his name the son made of I don't think it was even that the sun just realized like CU yeah you know I think especially when you're a young man and you you know probably grow up thinking that your family is doing uh really well because your father is a hardworking smart man and then he brings you into the business and then somewhere along the line they probably had it figured out somewhere along the line if they didn't know from the jump and then the guy couldn't take it I guess or who knows the pressure of PR pressure yeah yeah I mean you're talking about like billions billions and billions of dollars right was it in what was the the number what was the number I know but it was definitely in the billions that I've heard I think it was like it's a known fact million Joe Jesus Christ it's a known fact it's a known fact this [ __ ] guy lost more money I'm smelling bitsky there's uh did ever tell did they ever tell you what Eddie Murphy was Eddie Griffin was saying after 911 what a lot of people don't even know that they store gold under the World Trade Center oh no and the Subways kept running 24 hours a day well you know he he would get high and just say crazy [ __ ] he he actually thinks he's like a genius and I heard him one night at the at the store and this is how who who's going to argue with this bit he goes we got to stop giving our kids in Compton guns and knives and educate like first of all who
gives a kids a gun come here John Johnny I want you to have a gun and a knife here go you know go to school and he said we've got to start educating them give them pencils and papers and books like who the [ __ ] is not going to agree to educate kids I don't think they need education they need guns and knives Eddie Griffin definitely had some crazy times but I've seen Eddie Griffin [ __ ] destroy I saw him in his prime when he did his first comedy special it was a short set I believe like I want to say it was a half an hour but it might have been even less he had a lot of confidence godamn he crushed he [ __ ] crushed he crushed and it was was a scary talent it was a scary level of talent and energy that he put out and I remember watching him going wow that guy is [ __ ] good I remember thinking that like wow that guy's got a lot of power in his act you know his act was like scary it was like boom bang bang it was so good it was so Dynamic the way he moved you know the way he paused and expressed himself and you know he had like moments like that that make me think like if that guy just really dedicated himself to nothing but stand up and really like went legit and went down the path he had moments if he could recapture those moments yeah I agree I think he had some mental issues to say the least he could be a little bit little bit [ __ ] dizzy it's a known fact that uh a lot of people of his ilk that you stand up comedian fellas a lot of you [ __ ] go crazy it's a known fact D marer it's a known fact your mental illness and your being funny it's not a coincidence D marera okay it's a known fact you know Joe you think of paranoid think I'm you don't think I see these people laying for me in the bushes outside waiting to [ __ ] stop me Eddie Griffin was [ __ ] funny at one time I don't know I haven't seen Eddie in a long time I shouldn't say isn't he isn't anymore you know who knows might be out there killing it I don't hear about him much I know that he has funny guy though he's a warm guy too yeah he good is a very very friendly guy part of his deal when he goes to a comedy club is he has to brand new sneakers you ever hear this oh I've heard I've heard things like this I
didn't know it was him yeah I don't know whether I don't know whether they're Adidas or or I think whatever it is it's a big company and he has to have a brand new pair White Michael Jordan's or something I think it's Nik Nike Nike but [ __ ] hilarious the man thaty goes I couldn't [ __ ] find them guys well if you like to wear if you have a thing where you need to wear brand new sneakers right as you walk on stage and that gives you like superpower that might sound ridiculous but if you were a young guy and you grew up poor when you got a new pair of sneakers that was like a really exciting thing so it could be that by not wearing the sneakers until he goes on stage like he like like he makes him feel like with new sneakers on like gives him a little extra power and it sounds ridiculous but I remember when I was a kid getting a new pair of sneakers was like a big deal so maybe for him he like kept that tradition Jo and it's easier for him if they buy it why don't you buy cuz I want to change them right before I go on stage I asked you before I came on a show not to be insightful and intelligent not to have any compassion for people and there you go you're right a good I try to have as much compassion for people as possible even people interrupt our pool game d marera even people that interrupt I can't believe [ __ ] get [ __ ] serious here D marera And I when we when we play like we occasionally will joke around but Dom plays very good pool and uh I play pretty good pool and we we have some fun battles it's really fun to get excited Jo first of all he play more than pretty good not to get the same known fact like below consistent B player no you're a consistent like uh for a regular person I'm an a player but for a regular pool player I'm a b player I just don't have enough time no you're more than an a player for a regular person no no Joe I I never [ __ ] play anybody it ran out n ball like you it's done all the time but not regular people I'm telling you I I played a lot of pool in my life I am I beat you know so funny when I'm not playing against you because I get a chance to shoot more right I play better oh yeah but you sit the guy down tighten up yeah you know and then you want to get back on the table I can run some packages but I can't run
packages like my friends can so like I have the luxury of knowing Max Everly who's like one of the best pool players in the wall you know Max very well me and Max we Spar every time I go to Vegas and we pool Spar I mean you know play he just [ __ ] keeps me the chair the guy just runs out from everywhere he's a monster Max Max Abberly is like World CL he won the straight pool uh championships at the the Derby City Classic this year it's one of the prestigious uh pool tournaments in the world I don't know what he ran I mean he regularly runs 100 Balls yeah that's incredible yeah he's a world class Pro he's a world class Pro and a sweetheart of a guy he's a sweetheart Max every what a nice guy fun guy to be around oh yeah I miss it too that Hollywood Billiards Hollywood Billiards what was the one before that that we used to go to by the gym by the gym right off a Hollywood Boulevard across from the Cat and Fiddle remember isn't that Hollywood billiard well then we went to another place on Hollywood Boulevard what was that called remember we went to two places for years two places second one oh I know what you're talking about the Boston athle Club yeah that's the first place we went to yeah that place was great that was great that was a uh a former Athletic Club they converted into this giant pool hall cuz they had the track upstairs I used to play in a Saturday tournament there they used to when I first moved to LA they had a Saturday morning tournament it was like started at like 11: a.m. I made I made like good friends there that Saturday morning pool tournament that was when I first moved here that was a great place remember they had the like the track along the top of it yeah I remember we doubled one night we took the girls to Sophie and she name Jerry yeah I only remember her cuz she was hot isn't that sad oh that's well you know it's not sad but I mean that's all I remember yeah pool is a great thing on a date except if a chick beats you if a chick beats you it's very depressing yeah if a chick Beats pool but there's a thing about a girl beating you at pool that's demoralizing for some dudes it's funny to watch I had a friend who said will you shoot my girlfriend cuz she was practicing a lot and she said to me I'm
going to kick your ass oh my goodness right so first of all how rude she uh she broke and I ran the table ran the table right yeah it was [ __ ] easy it was those Pockets like this oh yeah right right it's not like what we play when the ball just about fits in it and I ran the table and I go so much for kicking my ass she goes you want to play again I go no oh want [ __ ] shut down you say it's over yeah you don't like that kind of attitude from women I don't like kind of attitude from anybody anybody I don't like braggers and I'm going to kick your ass a woman that can kick your ass in pull she doesn't have to be rude about it just a woman who can kick your ass in pool humiliating for men a nice woman who's very polite who kicks your ass like that Allison Fisher woman you know who she is of course she'd kick my ass for sure easy she' kick my ass trust me she's way better than me who's the big BL was like a snooker champion and she came over to she came over from Europe and just dominated woman's pool in fact here's the that's the real problem with pool's popularity this woman Allison Fischer is probably the most dominant Sports person ever in any sport in any game in women's Bard I love watching her [ __ ] and it's not like there's only a few women playing women's Billiards there was a lot of really good players there's like you know not everybody knows Janette Lee wiow because she's beautiful beautiful Asian woman but there's like a whole gang of like top Pros that would tour around the country and this woman consistently beat all of them on a regular basis she was like Player of the Year like who knows how many [ __ ] years in a row she won the US Open who knows how many years in a row like or what not was the US Open whatever the wpba whatever their version of like their National Championship she would win every year I didn't even why are men better than women why the doesn't make much sense doesn't make any sense it's just a coordination thing it it is and it isn't um I mean it can be overcome like women like Allison Fischer she could beat a man playing pool there's a few but she she wouldn't beat the top Pros most likely not and there's a few issues spatial uh intelligence there's
something um to uh and this is like really theoretical stuff I think something to the way the male mind interprets 3D space that it is uh it's beneficial for certain things and P might be one of them because uh after the break P doesn't really rely on strength no and the average woman could easily uh stroke a ball about as hard as you need to you really don't never need to hit it really hard outside of the break the break shot especially in rotation games or eightball it becomes a big issue because if a guy can really smash the rack he can make like sometimes you break and you make like four balls on the break like that there's like this guy Shane Van boning who's a fascinating character because he's the best one of the be the best po player in America and one of the best players in the world really yeah and he's deaf and when he plays he shuts his hearing aid off and he's not good because of that but it is an added element it's good because he's good he's he practices relentlessly the guy's like super dedicated he's good because that but he's also got this added element where he can shut that thing off and he don't hear anything he doesn't hear anything so when he's in Pro tournaments he goes into Zone it's kind of weird yeah it's kind of weird it's really fascinating because it's a form of sensory deprivation and people have actually decided that it's uh it helps him so much that people started wearing like ear muffs and [ __ ] really yeah this is this guy Earl Strickland I know strick he's amazing amazing player he puts these these things that like the um air traffic controllers wear his giant head things over his head and he he plays pool with those on [ __ ] gigantic to even it off with the other guy yeah so miss one of his senses yeah but he tries to recreate it he puts earplugs in too so he puts earplugs in and then he puts these gigantic [ __ ] ear muffs over the earplugs and then he plays he plays like a manp possessed the the both of those guys they play scary P's at that level pool is madness it really hear willly muscone oh of course I've heard of him sure okay cuz he was the guy that was the big deal in Philly when I high run is trade pool alltime High run it's like 580 balls my God yeah he ran but it
was on it's very controversial cuz he ran it on a 4×8 wasn't a 4 and a half by9 so much of a dork I am is that true yeah yeah yeah Luther ler was a guy who I don't know if you ever heard that name yes of course yeah he big straight ball yeah man if there was money in pool when I was a kid I would have become a professional pool player because I was enjoying there's ear stricken with the ear muffs on cuz I was enjoying playing pool as much as I was enjoying doing comedy but I wasn't good enough to like well you we talked about this you would never have the time because you you have too much of a career believe me if you were on a l as a comedian you could you could turn pro but if you could play four hours a day it's so much time and so much effort and the the guys that are that are playing that are at the like the highest levels of the game there's several notches better than me it wouldn't be like an easy thing to even like do battle with those guys it would take a long time it you'd win some nine ball games though thank you very much Tom that's no you would win I mean straight pull a guy can sit you there's nothing you can do yeah it's just too bad that that game doesn't get like it's to me it's like a form of meditation it's like if I can get into the zone and I can block everything else out and I can move the ball exactly where I want it to go and I know where it's going I know how to hit it I know what speed to hit it and it gets to the right spot there's a beautiful feeling to that it's a it's a it's like a uh you're like enforcing this weird Zen State enforcing the state where you you know exactly how many rotations a Ball's going to go for people don't play pool they're like shut the [ __ ] up about pool already Joe Rogan Jesus Christ I didn't [ __ ] tune in for a [ __ ] pool podcast and you queers don't even talk about MMA okay Jon Jones broke his foot you didn't say a word about it on your podcast well I had to show you my shaky hand when you uh yeah that's crazy yeah I got this thing is that a nerve issue yeah it's like what did you hurt you hurt your shoulder that wasn't as bad uh I know I never hurt anything it's something in the nerve that a chiropractor told me he said you know if it doesn't bother you
said it bothers my friends more than me do you stretch out at all at all and do anything yeah you know I dance in my house I do uh interpretive modern Jazz do you do any Athletics at all little uh stair climber elliptical machine I don't like where you're going this show I got to tell you stretching is very good for the pliability of the L help your nerves you want to piece of this right there no n I do come on over here listen if you I do I do the treadmill ah I do it's it's a shame when you can't tell if somebody ever worked out that's pathetic do you do anything physically that's not what I matter I was trying to find out what it was and whether or not you Incorporated stretches especially stretches to your shoulders especially stretch the road uh after flights and all that and you know that's good yeah I do the uh people don't yoga things a lot of whatever whatever I learn from the videos that's my favorite thing to do before I go on stage my favorite thing to do I do yoga yeah that's my favorite thing to do I I've tried a bunch of different things that feel good before I go on stage hard cardio is one of them hard cardio makes me high like when I really do like really hard cardio you do that before you go on stage yeah about a two hours I like to do it like 2 hours before especially before like it a big show if I'm going to be thinking about it I don't want to it does give you energy yeah well doesn't do it just releases some weird endorphin with me or like if I do like a real hard cardio session where I just feel silly I just it makes me sillier it relieves me it relieves me of like physical tension it just makes me sillier and I think when I whenever I can go on stage and be in more of a silly mood and the sillier I can feel the the more funny I think things are which which is the more funny I when you're getting a kick out of it I am the more funny I deliver it yeah when you get a kick out of it and when you're you know you're you're saying it in a way that's uh that connects with people like sometimes if you're like too upset about something and they don't understand why it connects with people it has to be an honest uh there's an honest balance for why you're pissed off or why you're happy you know like there got to be an onon balance and if sometimes you know
that weird feeling when you watch someone on stage and they're acting pissed off about but you know they're not really pissed off about it and how gross that is yeah that airplane food Well's not even that like someone like just they just fake it like whatever it is what I hate is a fake laugh always at the same time yeah you know that like and I can name you five people that do it I don't even want to get into that yeah you know you know when someone's mad for real and you know why they're mad for real like you feel it you know when someone's mad for real you know when they really are upset you know it and you know when someone's faking it and when they're faking it it's really weird yeah it's so awkward too much of an act yeah and I know a lot of us especially when you're doing it on stage it's like you just you know you don't either you don't realize that yet or you know maybe you're just out of sorts that night could be you're out of sorts that night and you just you have a a bad set you're not in the right Groove I mean I've we've all had those over the years you there I love watching Joey Diaz because of that because Joey is so [ __ ] real yeah there's not a phony bone in his body that you [ __ ] you know he's just like so pure in that sense like oh yeah he's not trying to win anybody over no he's just trying to be funny to the people who love Joey Diaz I think he just he realized somewhere along the line that he was he's really good he realized that he really is yeah yeah he real but he realized that himself and he didn't give a [ __ ] anymore and when he didn't give a [ __ ] anymore it's like that's when people like really wanted to hear more and so all the people around him like if he had anyone around him that didn't believe in him at this point they all really have fallen by the wayside right you know it's tooken a long road for Joey to like get recognized as how funny he really is and along the way a lot of people had a chance to work with that guy and they didn't believe in him yeah I was telling people about Joey Diaz in like 1998 I was like you're [ __ ] crazy I'm like this guy makes me laugh hard all the time he makes me laugh hard I go he doesn't give a [ __ ] and he makes me laugh hard and they're like he's too this and he's too that and this doesn't
work and that doesn't work and if you can't be in a sitcom you know yeah yeah my agent called me up and he said do you like Joey Diaz I go I love him he goes you want to work with him I go anything we're doing the Ice House the end of July that's awesome yeah it' be fun that's a beautiful show I might come and watch you know what I what day is that I think it's 27 28 if I remember in my my uh what we weird mind that I can remember [ __ ] I don't remember why I walked into a room like I'm like I'm like a savant what days are those Friday Saturday okay it's not the 27th and the 28 what see I was wrong my savonus didn't kick in it could be the 24th and the 25th does that make sense it could be that what's the last weekend in July the last weekend is that and then there's the 31st and the first no that would be it the the one before that the one before it damn I'm not even going to be around I'm going to be in Vegas I want to see that are you go what do you got come I'm going see UFC what do you got coming up Joe I'm doing Atlanta this week The Improv and then hilarities in Cleveland you ever do hilarities no I have not I'm looking forward to the Improv I think I maybe I did what what other clubs are in Cleveland is there an improv in Cleveland yeah there's an improv in Cleveland I think I did that hilarities is is one of the nicest clubs I've ever seen looks like a giant cruise ship it's got everything it's got a [ __ ] martini bar dancing girls a sports bar theater I did uh one of the clubs in Cleveland I think it was The Improv I did it with uh hefron and Charlie Murphy it's got it's right next to a strip club I don't remember that oh I go by they were like a markings my life we didn't have much time when we did this tour I did this Maxim Comedy Tour way back in the day with hefron and Charlie Murphy it was really fun John was feisty he liked to fight did he I don't know he never seemed like that with me we were always very friendly no no not with me people yeah no I I got along with him great he's a great guy yeah but I mean we were out a couple times I think he stopped drinking but he wanted a [ __ ] fight as Joe John what are you crazy oh yeah I was probably the booze that demon in a bottle that old demon demon in a bottle yeah but we uh we did that place and we did a different
place almost every night it was really crazy we were out for 20 22 gigs after the that exposure he got on that uh yes after he won hefron won Last Comic Standing and Charlie Murphy had just done the Chappelle show nice guy Charlie Murphy [ __ ] sweetheart of a guy and as real as they come and a great Storyteller man charlee Murphy Kill You In The Green Room he'll tell you some stories in The Green Room just kill you he's a a natural Storyteller you know that's a fun thing you get to bring people with you and stuff that's cool well that wasn't my idea that was it was something that Maxim and Bud Light put together we all just did it together and became friends once we did it I was just I didn't know either one of those guys before we did the tour so was so lucky that they're both cool as [ __ ] cuz hron is cool as [ __ ] and so is Charlie Murphy and that's how we met Tom sigura too uhhuh we were at the um the the celebrity theater in Phoenix all right and uh seura was the opening act the like they would do Maxim would hire like a local act like a you know a local Pro and they would do like 10 minutes or so before the um the show would start with hron and then it would either be me or Charlie Murphy and um um most of the guys were good they were all good but Oney one guy was a dick one crazy guy in Boston was a douchebag he was crazy drunk I don't know his name he like remember angry and drunk yes I do okay when you said crazy in Boston but they they all were pretty good but but seura just really stood out no kidding oh yeah yeah he went out there I the Celebrity Theater was a weird place too cuz it was in the round those those shows are odd if you've never done that before and uh he went he went out there just I did it with Lenny CL it he did yeah Lenny CL Lenny clock and I now he was a tough [ __ ] Lenny CL he [ __ ] huge he's a big fella not anymore well I mean I mean he's big like he's a big man but not anymore no well now he's thin you mean in shape but he was he was he wasn't always fat but he was big no he was you know he would fight oh oh yeah and he might have a little bit of the YO in his system too before he slugged you those guys were animals those guys like those guys D Gavin and swe and KN animals Knox was a little bit later Kenny Rogerson those guys were Savages they don't get
nearly the credit they deserve there should have been a time capsule that really captured that moment in comedy didn't they did didn't somebody do a a movie about them yeah yeah France halam did it's pretty good when standups [ __ ] out very good actually I mean for me I'm I don't want to because it was so close to home I guess it was much more impactful I don't want to oversell it but I thought it was really fascinating if you're a fan of Comedy I think it's brilliant I'll just never forget how they didn't bury me in in Boston they tried no no they didn't they really like you could tell they we had an instant relationship and Don Gavin gave me a great intro and nobody tried to well they didn't want to BR if that's what you mean like they didn't think you were a dick they all loved you yeah that's they were good to me they would they would think some guys were dicks though yeah and they would greenl them oh yeah you couldn't because that was like a freight train of Comedy you couldn't [ __ ] with that if they they green liit Billy Crystal they did that to Richard lwis too Richard Lewis hid behind the stage till the audience left there was these guys man and you know he was one of them that uh for whatever reason they generated well um a little bit of Billy Crystal but more Richard Lewis they these guys generated a lot of hate yeah at a certain certain comedians like certain comedians like we like this guy just ain't [ __ ] funny he's not [ __ ] funny you know I I heard like club owner say that I was like why like obviously some people like him like he obviously has like an audience right yeah you got to like but it's from his movies more than his standup I don't know about that with with Richard Lewis oh Richard Lewis no no I thought you were talking about Billy Chris yeah Richard Lewis definitely a standup yeah but for whatever reason there's like certain people that would love to hate that guy or dises ECT his comedy it's like everybody's got different tastes and that's so hard for like some people who are fans of standup comedy to realize that's why there's no best standup well not only is there no best standup you're crazy to look for it like don't even look for it it's just just just enjoy what you enjoy because it's subjective it's not objective like if
there's a there there's a best 100 yard dash guy cu the fastest guy wins you can't argue I think the third guy was faster and there's some guys that all they I mean they want to see Gaffigan say anything Gaffigan says there's some guys and gals that Gaffigan just [ __ ] for whatever it is he hits their frequency and for other folks it's a tell you know and whatever it is it is and you can't get upset that that some guys like a tell like w w I don't even see it I don't even see it relax don't concentrate on that I know you know you just relax don't get angry yeah people love telling me that Dan Cook's not funny I know it's like okay relax yeah it's like you you don't have to think he's funny apparently he made millions of dollars because somebody thought he was funny so people get too much pleasure out of other people sucking that that is a problem that's a weird thing with people they get this weird pleasure out of other people sucking I don't know what it is it's interesting though it's a it's a weird little side effect a little hater side effect it's jealousy It's a combination of a lot of things but it's so bad for the person who thinks it that's what they don't understand like it's a just a m massive distraction you know so it just takes away so much energy from your own life because instead of concentrating on this other person you should be concentrating on your own [ __ ] and if something bothers you you should find a way if at all possible andless of course it's some egregious offense or crime or some some sort of sin against man in nature find some way to turn it into a motivating factor for you if you feel weak because you see some guy like you know I don't know name your [ __ ] Mogul Bill Gates on TV and he's got a billion dollars in his underwear you know and you feel like God I can't even [ __ ] pay my stupid loans figure yeah figure out what what the [ __ ] you need to do so that you become so successful that you don't worry about Bill Gates anymore you don't have to be a successful of Bill Gates but become enough of a person who figures your way through the net of civilization to the point where you don't have to worry when maybe for everybody has their own gradient for some people it might be just making a living is good enough you
know for some people it has nothing to do with how much money they make it has to do with getting their [ __ ] mind right you know going to either going to a shrink or doing some yoga or going on a mushroom trip figure out whatever the [ __ ] you need to do to get your mind right because it doesn't matter how much money you make it doesn't matter anything that else is going going on in your life if you don't have your mind right if you're not thinking about life clearly you're going to you're going to make some shitty stupid decisions you're going to you're going to be annoying to almost everybody around you you're going to [ __ ] things up left and right let's get it together [ __ ] hey you talking to me no not you D you know I would never are you uh so you're going to find Sasquatch I'm going to find sasat we talk about that yes we are we can can't talk too much because it is top secret dare but for my new Sci-Fi show um very soon in the near future I'm going to go searching for sasquat a very peculiar and particular location that has been known for a high volume of Sasquatch sightings Doma is there a particular Forest that he frequence perhaps is there I can't say I can't say is there more than one I've said too much already but we will be camping and we'll be we will be getting our freak out in the woods I don't think I'd want to go camping Joe yeah maybe not I'll tell you when I get back whether or not it was worth it well didn't you go somewhere with Ken yeah we went hunting in Montana notice I said hunting with no G that's cuz I'm a Hunter it's we I say it's so often it just flows off the time H you live by I live by a c my rro I make my own arrows oh that was did you ever see that Bo Jackson thing what Bo Jackson think but he makes his own arrows oh does he really yeah he's [ __ ] crazy oh he's like a madman Hunter and fisherman right yeah yeah yeah yeah he's a real outdoor a calibrator and he's sitting there and it's so that's his his favorite thing in the world well Arrow very fun you know the people don't want to hear that because they don't want you going out there killing animals they take oh wow you can't say it's fun you say that you call that fun man well it's rewarding and beautiful and it connects you to Nature and it's very humbling and it's
also you know it's a really intense thing like making your own getting your own food you know going out and hunting your own food is very intense I don't I don't think everybody should have to do it but for me it was uh it was pretty intense I like five star restaurants I like being upgraded me too these all these things are good as well yeah I just I'm I'm too lazy to I don't want to like pick up a tent I feel you I feel you bro I'm not into it all the time I respect that you like it but no I don't like it no you just do it you just I just because I don't like it doesn't mean I'm not you went hunting with Brian you must have like that yeah I it was cold as [ __ ] we were camping out in the middle of the snow in Montana or the middle of freezing weather it didn't snow it did rain one day though but it worse yeah you know it's miserable but uh I wanted to experience it you know I thought it' be I think we're so far removed from being in the wilderness that to have an opportunity especially with like expert Outdoorsman to go uh out into the Wilderness for 5 days I'm like I'm going you know this is this is going to be wildness Ari shafir and I going salmon fishing we're headed up to the great white north of Alaska we're trying to get a date in Anchorage yeah to go salmon fishing sure you could get a date in Anchorage yeah we're going to go uh hopefully uh go catch some [ __ ] salmon d pull those S those [ __ ] suckers giant monsters crazy [ __ ] fishful muscular fish show them how quick you are imagine how hard it must have been to eat fish back before people figured out rods and reels and Spears [ __ ] like that oh yeah [ __ ] hard to get a fish meal you know what are you going to do you going to grab it with your hand stupid well the idea of them swimming Upstream there was so many of them you could like bat them out of the air so ridiculous that that was like the choice for survival that they would go all the way Upstream back to the river or back up the mouth of the river not the brightest fish well it's nuts that they live in fresh water and and they also live in saltwater what a crazy animal brackish wol yeah wild [ __ ] animal is that a real um thing that's been going around this thing with human like Teeth it's called a sheep
shed sheep sheep sheep shed fish sheep shed fish yeah it's all over the Internet yeah fish are weird man they're out there breathing water and [ __ ] swimming around I watched a show today about uh a paddlefish you know what a paddle fish is no doesn't have any bones some weird prehistoric fish that lives in uh I think it was the Ozarks or something like that I forget what they were saying wow and you can't even catch them with like bait the way you catch them is by having a line with a bunch of hooks on it and you just drop it down and keep pulling it up it keep pulling up trying to snag something and that's it if you snag it and if you snag snag it then you just pull it up to the surface but you never like legitimately catch one ever you just got to snag one I never heard of that's the only way to catch them yeah they're enormous and they have no bones they're so weird they're some sort of weird prehistoric fish and the way they gut them it's so strange they make an incision and they pull out the spinal cord they eat them yeah they eat everything they and this the the row of of these animals is apparently very much like um sturgeon row which is what caviar is which is worth a lot of money and so in order to make sure that they didn't uh allow a market for this stuff to develop even though it's legal to kill the animal and legal to eat the animal it's only legal to possess its row on the dock you can only either have it on your boat or on the dock so you got to either eat that row or throw it out why because you can't take it with you because you can develop a market for it you can't develop a market for it because then the animals row would be worth too much and they would worry that even though you you know you have a certain number that you can kill in a day and eat like they they say it tastes good they say it tastes like pork that's what they're saying when they they uh grilled it they said you CU like a lot of people like have an aversion to eating it because it's a strange like it's almost like they have like uh prejudices against it because it doesn't have any bones and it looks like it's a [ __ ] billion years old it looks like a crazy dinosaur fish it's amazing they keep discovering new species and new fish of a snake head fish yeah those are
a real problem they they have Snakehead fishes in fishes Central snakehead fish have been spotted in Central Central Park yeah thanks for finishing my sentence yeah this they've um invaded in Central Park how the [ __ ] they get there somebody had to bring them yeah that's that's what's going on in Florida outside of water for a couple days which is the scary part yeah they walk dude they walk they Walky how you doing how you doing did you ever see that uh special about the Congo where I think that's where they live I think where they live is in the Congo um it's the made to Asia and Russia is what this says is that what it is that's what this article says well they're probably right I mean I'm sure I'm wrong but there's a fish like it it might not be the snakehead but there's this there's a video let me see if I can pull it up on YouTube it's a BBC Congo and uh I've talked about it before it's really a damn shame that this video isn't like one of those um you know those mother earth or uh planet Earth DVD setups they're super easy to get everybody knows about them right that's like if you want to see some cool [ __ ] on nature the planet Earth series is is amazing well the the BBC One the Congo one really should be just as fascinating to people it's really sad that uh that for whatever reason that that video is hard to get a hold of but in one of the scenes there's this weird fish probably similar to snake head gets out of water and starts walking and you're like I can't even believe this it's just walks over to another puddle and then jumps in you're like you're like I can't believe what I'm seeing like this is a dinosaur this [ __ ] thing just did some dinosaur [ __ ] wow I mean we're literally seeing life evolve that's that's what I mean that's like the beginning of that right the ability to come out of the water and walk on the ground to better water holy [ __ ] what a freaky [ __ ] snake fish thing whatever it is why do they call a snake fish I don't know I wonder what it's called in the Congo snake snakehe head fish um the Congo is apparently like one of the densest densest rainforests in the world yeah I don't know what the [ __ ] that that fish is called I guess it's
not a snake head it's something else but um if you get a chance to get a hold of that documentary I think it's just called BBC Congo let me Google it real real quick I think that's what it was called there's something coming up for mystery fish of the Congo but the video won't play well there was also those ones that uh you watch that uh show um River Monsters yeah that guy's badass that gu he's a fishing [ __ ] that guy went out in a wooden canoe I used to think nothing of that show I say oh it's a guy fishing what's the big deal no this guy fishes how the locals fish he got in this Wooden Boat okay with like aund hooks in it and they were in this like tippity toppity but and they're dropping these lines in for giant catfish so at any point in time something could [ __ ] grab one of those lines and pull those those fishing lines and who knows how many hooks are flying in that guy's Direction and actually people have died from that like one of the people in this tribe died from that he got caught in a hook and dragged under water like that guy is legit wow and this is the other thing that he said while he was there their um one of the the people one of the main people in their tribe the Chief disappeared he was gone for a whole day and they were seriously worried and because they believe in bad spirits and bad Omens they believe that he had caused the chief to disappear and if the chief didn't come back they were planning on killing him they were going to Stone him to death W and thankfully the Chief came back and everybody was elated because like but he was like you don't understand how close I came to dying like they they would have tried to kill him because they felt like he was a bad Omen and he created even if he didn't actively do anything to the chief he created the bad luck that made the chief disappear here's your [ __ ] canoe [ __ ] remember that joke what's that from joke it was a stupid joke but remember a guy uh is captured by these Savages and they're going to eat him right and he said I'm I'm going to butcher the joke but I just love the punch line and he goes what are you going to do with your skin they go we're going to make a canoe out of it and he grabs a knife he goes here's your [ __ ] canoe he just pun himself oh
God that's harsh it's a joke that's a tough joke that's a tough joke I come from a tough neighborhood Joe the Philadelphia Pennsylvania it's a known fact that 90% of all queers come from your town you got me there there's no retort to that oh the best one is only two types of things that come from Oklahoma steers and queers somebody was the first guy to say that who say que anymore oh the guys that still live there yeah still live there he ain't nothing but you can't call him [ __ ] no more without starting a revolution queer seems to roll off the tong Tad easier he sound like the mean Larry the Cable Guy the mean Larry the Cable Guy Larry th Cable Guy I tell you what Mexicans can go ahead and suck my dick real quick here's how bad my taste is here's how bad a manager agent I would be Dan Whitney's his name right Larry great guy great [ __ ] guy yeah he's a great guy I've met homeboy I was trying to talk him out of Larry the Cable Guy thing oh no you weren I was basically trying to talk him out of a life of billion dollars oh my goodness I said I said Dan I love this character is strong but you know I like your old character better I don't know D it's doing pretty well Bo were you [ __ ] wrong oh I know Bo were you [ __ ] wrong all right all right have to say it twice for fact Jesus damaa bad advice damaa now you're coming down on me Joe throw me to the wolf who has that a guy has a guy ever become like really good that you didn't see coming when you saw him in the beginning and you're like oh this guy's [ __ ] cuz we we you know I'll tell you who became really good that was that I I was more surprised because he was so shy and Brian Reagan oh Brian Reagan's very funny yeah but see Brian I knew him since the beginning he was a like 19y old kid 20y old that was an MC and he was just like gracious and deferring and not silly at all he was like a was like a classic Like Tonight Show standup right but none of the you know the H you the he's like all over the place the character you know he's [ __ ] brilliantly funny he just knows how to be funny it It's his style too his like his style of being funny
so Brian Regan yeah he's like one of the there's like a few guys like maybe three or four guys that are like squeaky clean but that everybody agrees are awesome it used to be Hedberg for Hedberg do everybody loved Hedberg but what people forget is that Hedberg was squeaky clean really really I loved brilliant he was brilliant he he was a really an all-time great for me he's one of the few guys that else to this day um uh like listen to his old stuff just to laugh you know if I'm at the airport or something like that I used to love he was on remember for frontal comedy yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh Hedberg was on I remember one line he said uh no matter how much I practice tennis I'll never be as good as the wall yeah the wall is Relentless yeah yeah like he took like an old expression and made it a really funny bit you know playing tennis ball against the wall yeah look this [ __ ] guy he's playing tennis ball against the wall you're never going to win he told me he turned it into like one of the funniest bits ever [ __ ] brilliant I was just in his home like one of his towns Austin couple weeks ago he's from Minneapolis isn't he but he was like he did a lot of comedy in Texas because I met him in Houston but they really are big fans of his down there yeah he was awesome man he was beautiful that guy was really [ __ ] funny great stand up yeah he was really [ __ ] funny what time are you for me Coke at a at a a party in Montreal and he's such a nice kid you know I go I said MIT I don't do Coke he goes D I'm sorry I go sorry you're [ __ ] generous that's basically like offering me a a $200 sweater you know it's nicey it's j just that I don't happen to do it I'm not I'm not judging it he came up to me in Rochester New York we we met for and he was so proud that he was only drinking beer you know he wasn't doing drugs said he said I said so basically you're bragging to me about only being an alcoholic yeah kind of there's a such a giant difference between those drugs and all the other ones the opiates and all the other ones those are the I saw a commercial the other day for uh some sort of clinic for opiate addiction just talking about you know how easy it is to get hooked and all the different people that are hooked and don't want to admit they're hooked
and it was just showing you the examples of you I would like to do it no I would I'm serious I would love to do her if there was you know I mean if there wasn't it wasn't so dangerous but I love the feeling because I don't want [ __ ] I don't want to be high like I don't want to be like messed out or anything Speedy cocaine yeah that's scary you already know I don't even drink too much coffee but [ __ ] mellow is I like I like to be nodding off throwing up with a sense of music all of a sudden I think I we a song yeah you just get to the root of things when you like try heroin though when you like to know what the feelings like I don't trust myself I don't trust that I wouldn't like it yeah I don't trust I don't trust anything this is my rule and I don't tell anybody what to do ever but that's not true why am I lying the stupid I'll tell you don't do it um I don't [ __ ] with anything that's addictive I don't [ __ ] with anything that can get you I don't even like coffee cuz coffee can get you no I take weeks off a pot all the time yeah yeah yeah all the time that's [ __ ] up the only time I um I absolutely smoke pot it used to be before Jiu-Jitsu but so before isolation tank I almost always do it before that or before writing a lot of times do it before writing it helps you yeah yeah I like to it gets me in a nice groove it helps me uh release my current grasp on reality I just think when it when you get an opportunity to look at things from like coffee doesn't do that coffee sort of inspires movement inspires like me to act and me to have energy to start things off but for me the the best inspiration is like a mental inspiration like an inspiration where I I could step away from it all and see it from a different perspective so that's what a lot of times what getting high does for me allows me to just like move over to the next window you know I've been looking at things through the window of sober sustained reality let's move over and look at things from the oh look at over here well if you're kind of high and you relax a little bit you realize this is kind of funny really and then you start poking holes of things instead of I don't get funnier at all with alcohol I that's the only thing I ever do but I One martini will get me funny
yeah two more teis not so funny it's really a big difference I mean it's really a big really it conf it just slows me down enough where I don't feel that [ __ ] you know oh yeah yeah and what one I can do one is yeah like a little bit of a buzz like a tiny little bit of a buzz it's kind of nice for I don't get nervous do you get nervous at all no I get um the only time I get anxious at all is if someone I know is going to be there like me but that makes me like usually perform better yeah I'll you know I'll be a little bit sharper I'll try I'll be a little bit more alert which is everything comedy clubs I don't get I mean a theater sometimes 2,000 people's a lot for me it's weird it's a different sort of experience yeah I did the trop in Atlantic City and it's the only 2,000 Cedar that I do that that has so much of a meaning for me I've done them in Canada done but like my family's there my friends are there it's my home and that's that's a little [ __ ] that's where I get a little bit you know yeah I feel it in my stomach it's a lot of [ __ ] human beings standing in front of 2,000 a lot of materials too an hour and 10 yeah yeah yeah it's fun though there no better gig on the planet so fun I've done so many different things but there's nothing like the comedy nothing like the standup nothing like the stand either as U an audience member like I like a lot of things you know obviously I like uh different sports and I like MMA and I like going to movies but I like going to see a go a really great standup I love that fun when you can laugh and be separate yourself from it I the and do you get excited still I like when I see someone who's really good I want to go write yeah yeah definitely oh yeah 100% I was at Laugh Factory the other night and it's funny because I was The Comedy Store first and I didn't feel like I I I canceled Friday I never cancel I was just beat I like and I said and Bill bar said something that I've been thinking he goes I just don't have anything to say tonight I don't feel funny I don't feel it going on and I thought than God you know it's not here here's Bill saying it you know somebody I respect so much and I'm I was fine at the comedy store but by the time I got to the Laugh Factory I was Juiced I was ready to go yeah and I
loved it because it was I'm seeing all these college students laughing at me and you know very young crowd and there was four 20 year- old girls right in the front and I go when would I ever get a chance to talk to you I said when I'm like 3 feet away from you four 20 year olds I said you go I came up to you at a bar you go get lost pops you know before I report you to the manager and funny yeah it's fun man yeah I'm still driven by that that that ego with showing off in front of pretty girls is really that that how much of a factor is that in your of your it's a factor it's I mean I get a kick out of it I get a kick out of making them laugh and you know I mean you know also like tough guys something if I can crack like a a guy who looks like a gang member you know I see him at the [ __ ] just got the whole gang member Dodger jacket she just like little challenges yeah yeah yeah yeah that's part of the fun of it for sure I just think it's amazing when you can translate to other groups you know I mean let's face it if I was [ __ ] stuck with Goombas my age I'd be dead in the water you have to translate you have to go across Generations my favorite is old ladies that laugh at me is that great that's my favorite when you see them [ __ ] crying like if you see like a girl like sometimes like a college kid will come over to her grandmother you see them both laughing at a jiz joke you know the first time in her life that they're you know she'd be amazed I mean especially cuz the old ladies today they're like you know they were around in the 7s the ' 80s you know and now they're in the 60s and 70s they're coming out to comedy clubs like they have pretty goddamn good sense of humor yeah right they didn't grow up in an innoc depression they didn't grow up in the depression that's the difference between you know our parents parents right and and these people that are coming up today yeah it's a there's a more relaxed Bunch they grew up with Jimmy Hendrick yeah there's I i' I've had a lot of like older gray-haired folks come up to me after shows and beautiful yeah it's awesome see there no reason to not just enjoy yourself and have fun like all this like we have a lot of self-imposed restrictions on the way we view things and the looseness in which we approach things and a lot of it
is just because people have to work you know they have to be serious because they have to work all day shitty [ __ ] jobs all day it's hard it's hard to it's hard to really like have time to step back and make fun of it all and step back and look at it for what it really is some weird temporary state that could end at any minute yeah you know it's got to be a weird thing to be a person who's an old person is just locked and rigid and setting their ways and not seeing the end coming like a goddamn freight train just rolling down the track and they're just don't be getting philosophical with Mogan acting CUNY and [ __ ] I know what a waste of [ __ ] energy in life we know a lot of folks like that though huh I think it's funny the guys who won't talk you know don't they don't talk a certain way in front of women and yet they have no idea that the group of women are [ __ ] pigs pigs talking about [ __ ] sucking [ __ ] and all this [ __ ] yeah there's some guys that are just they're just they don't get it the boys club guys some guys don't want to know either there there's some guys that don't want to know that women like some guys want like really innocent wom Fantasy Women don't even exist well maybe they just want to find that one girl from Wisconsin came here and hasn't been spoiled yet D marera yeah you ever think about that pal yeah I did all right okay okay don't jump down much don't get fresh do you ever hear the whatever happened to Fresh Jo don't give me the business you give me the business whatever happened to Fresh I think we should bring that back like don't get fresh I think that is a nice thing you can say to people Jamie today is on the podcast he oh Christ why do you let him on the podcast first of all I he wanted to come fras Fraser Smith was on you're a beautiful man but that's a terrible idea he he was he was doing a filibuster he I said you can't he would tell he was telling the guest to shut up buddy listen to me I've been running La Factory since 1975 I work I work for hold on Buddy he kept saying the preure shut up I said you can't have a guest on and tell him to shut up he's a [ __ ] guest he was brutal so many people that podcast I did with you and him they were like please don't ever bring him on again it was
like the majority of the comments was like who the [ __ ] is that guy why is he on with Joe and Dom I told you what they said too they go we think you're not the majority I made that up we think you're funny but you got to lose the little Mexican they're calling him a little Mexican but why why are you blaming this on Mexicans he's he's Iranian Jewish through Israel but what a [ __ ] character that is being really shitty at being racist thinking he's Mexican it's like you're racist you just suck at it you even suck at being a racist what do you do with the [ __ ] Mexican like like as if he looks even body listen to me when I was in small country a long time ago yeah that sounds exactly like a Mexican I hear buddy listen to me listen D been working Laugh Factory since 1976 year was sooner he gets younger when he came over here budy listen I was 6 years old I I came on by myself buddy I bring microphone I sneaked him in my underwears as I come to America that's silly [ __ ] those Bud hey he's still kicking man still out there supporting standup if it wasn't for guys like him people that own comedy clubs they're all crazy but you have to be crazy to own a comedy club he loves it you know he loves comedy and he loves to there's a few people that like um they drive comedy in in this country you know Wendy from Colorado from Comedy Works she drives comedy in Colorado what a story she was a waitress she ends up owning the club she's awesome she's a beautiful person too but she drives comedy in Colorado like she was one of the reasons why like when I wanted to escape it was Project escape from La when I was looking at a place to go Colorado was one of my choices and one of the reason being is that she has like a real comedy scene there it's like a legit comedy scene she's got yeah she's got open micers all the way up to Headliners like local Headliners and she works those guys like she has like a whole like rotation and you know this you're allowed to do 10 minutes and here you're allowed to do 15es minutes and she develops Comics she has Open Mic nights you know a lot of people forgot about Open Mic nights yeah Jamie still has them it's beautiful you have to have them yeah you have to have them they're so important it's the problem is a place
like La where everybody thinks they're [ __ ] funny yeah you know which everybody sucks in the beginning but some people suck to the point of no return you didn't did you you didn't suck at the big a [ __ ] yeah I did it was terrible I didn't you were awesome no I wouldn't say I was awesome but I think I didn't suck because I was already over my nerves cuz of acting oh okay you know know I mean I didn't I didn't have much of an act but I don't think I I think I always could bail myself out I don't want to sound like a jerk off and say I didn't suck but I'm sure I would think I sucked but I don't I'm not that big a fan of mine today so I was very socially anxious before I did stand up but I also was able to teach martial arts classes and uh because I had taught so many martial arts classes um I had like a little bit less fear of talking than I probably should have had sure at least you're doing public speaking Yeah I I I had conducted a class I many classes you know those what I was doing for a living how far did you go in maral ARS too when I was 19 I was teaching um ta window at Boston University I was black Bel when I was uh in ta I was black Bel I think when I was 16 or 17 so probably 17 somewhere around there and uh I won the massachusett state championship like four years in a while K yeah I want a couple so good for your head too well not really if you get hit no I mean the emotional head well it was for me for me at the time was big but the the teaching it was um really satisfying watching people learn things that's when I I I learned uh I I really love uh sharing things and I also learned that in Sharing um like teaching techniques with people I really concentrated on my own techniques like uh I think a lot of my kicks and a lot of my movements got even sharper because I was teaching them to people like I was breaking them down showing them how to do them from scratch and then I had like a few people there was this one girl that I uh trained she came in as a white belt and then she got all the way up to uh I don't want anybody get mad at me but I believe it was yellow green blue red black I think that was the the thing and she got up to Blue which was uh pretty you know pretty high and um means you're starting to compete against people that are you know they're
dangerous they can kick you in the face you could get crazy and she won this tournament and I was coaching her so I coached her from the time she was a white belt all the way until the time she was like a blue belt that's cool that's it was amazing yeah it was amazing and she was a young kid she was in high school and uh she was uh she was really talented she just knew how to listen she knew how to listen and she knew how to do like what I what I explained she could like and she was like super focused was really interesting teaching someone something and seeing something like someone completely dive into uh something that you you you appreciate and watching them get better at it so rewarding to be able to pass that on I I I always used to remember like my instructor um when like there was guys that were really good in the class and they they did something really good you know whether it was sparring demonstration or whether they uh you know did a drill on the bag or something like that he had this beam of joy in his eye when he saw you do it really well like you know like when you really need yes that's it he would get excited and like that like you could see this like I didn't didn't understand it then but when I started teaching I realized like there you like taking part in someone's Joy by helping them create something by helping them create these movements and figuring out how to do these movements correctly that it's not just like learning how to kick it's like it's like tapping into this this area where you have control over the whole package even for just a brief moment yeah and he doing that like there was a phrase that they had from the TA window brochure when you signed up that I on I never forget said that it was a vehicle for developing your human potential so like that's that's how I thought of it and that's how I like would teach it so when you were teaching that you like it's like I had an opportunity I always felt like I had an opportunity to show somebody something that can change their life you I'll show show you what changed my life I'll show it to you and you can do it too and it'll change your life too you will literally become a different person you know I taught fourth grade and now those kids are grown-ups wow and
that's really cool cuz some some of them told me it was the best year of their lives they come to see me do standup oh that's amazing what were you teach it what fourth grade to you know everything but oh fourth grad is like math science everything I mean yeah it's different than what you did because you went some people who had like an interest and a love for something and wanted to explore it what you were doing but mine is different they had to be there so I my thing was self about self-esteem I figur I can't teach you these subjects are going to come and go in their life but teaching him self-esteem and some of the most rewarding things were like uh I had this one kid he was real shy he was so shy he was real tall and he was embarrassed by it and he would stay in the in the cloak room cloak room they'd call it you know with all the coats and he just stay in there went come out I go Sky I used to call him Sky King because he was space cadet goes Sky you got to come out you can't stay I can't let a kid just sit and you know and by the end of me just like working his his self-esteem and all he was in the middle of the class just with everybody else waving his hand and and his mother came up to me and she was like really touched by it and told me that I changed his life Wow and you know that kind of shit's cool and now I got like couple of the girls come to see me and she goes one of the girls goes uh Mr IR why did you let us do so much stuff you know like uh I said because you were smarter than me I said she what you mean I said look you know I was I had more knowledge cuz I was an adult but you know you kids a lot of you have more brain power than me I I know I wasn't D I was smart enough to know that I wasn't that's why you ran the class you know what I mean so you were an easy teacher that's what you're oh really easy I told them at the beginning of the year I said look I want this to be the most fun year of your life only you can mess it up I said W what a [ __ ] awesome opportunity that must have been and I said I want to go to the gym this is when I was playing basketball I said I want to go to the gym more than you do so the you know we're going to have a party every Friday afternoon I would have we' have like kids that would do break dancing and stuff and really yeah it was that's
awesome it was great did you ever try to pitch that as a sitcom uh no but somebody else had an idea for a couple times with it would be hilarious sitcom that seems like a natural yeah you as a as a a funny teacher because you really did it it's legit and if you really stop and think about it that would be like for a kid that's like one of the greatest roles of the dice a kid can get for their fourth grade teacher yeah I had a grow yeah d r for your fourth grade teacher she still calls you Mr Ira she's 26 years old right 26 27 whatever and then she calls me Mr Ira right and I go Teresa first of all you're taller than me she she hot blonde I go stop with the Mr you're going to call me D she go I just can't call you D is that funny like she's got got me down as Mr R that's good that that'll keep you from being a dirty bird whoa whoa whoa stay away D you known her since she's a little girl let her talk call you Mr she's trying to establish boundaries somebody said why do you go out so young I go cuz I can come on oh jeez oh is this thing on is this on is it sound working in the here hello that was one of my favorite bits of yours I mean it wasn't even like it was like almost like an interstitial it would like do it sometimes you throw it in between jokes that kill hello come on folks give a little get off your high horses even jokes that were killing you would throw that in there you remember Nathan Lane Nathan Lane he an actor yes he like a musical yeah been a bunch of them he's he's great he's he lives in New York he was in The Producers he was inaja fall but anyway he used to give me he used had a great he great memory and he would I would do that fritzy Anderson character and he would remember [ __ ] he goes get off your high horses cuz I would go get off your high horses come down if you're exalted mountains Retreat from your petite plateaus come on folks o and it was just so much fun to do cuz it was so physical and and loud it was like it used to kill my voice what do you call a dog with no legs nothing no matter what you call him he a come in where did I lose you hello yeah having characters you could just bring back like that it's always fun too oh that was a fun character it
was just all it was was a a conglomeration of every Lounge Mountain comedian I've ever seen you know like the sappy songs I write the jokes to make the whole world smile you know that kind of guy I had a a nightmare last night I guess was last night that I bombed on stage in a a hell gig in Long Island wow very specific oh God because Long Island uh was uh I did a lot of Hell gigs in Long Island did you really yeah yeah you done Brokerage in governors in yeah yeah I did the nice places too but I also did Fast Eddies in Huntington I didn't know that yeah that was a that's when uh my manager uh I got my manager convinced to let me uh be dirty because Jeff Jeff ini you been with Jeff a long time yeah from the beginning he picked me up when I was a scrub he picked me up when I was an open micer we've been together forever he's the best he is the best but I love him too he's he's my friend you know he not just a manager he's the best manager and I love him but uh in the beginning you know we were still trying to figured out I was only like 20 something years old I didn't know [ __ ] and like maybe you should be clean like that was back in the day where everybody should be clean you know and I'd done some clean sets too like he asked me to do one I think he asked me to do one clean set for him so I did a clean set at like catch Rising Star but then we went to um um uh the the place that was way out was it east side yeah East Side Comedy Club went out I did a set out there and then we did a set at this Fast Eddy's place and this Fast Eddy's place was a dive and there was a dude named George Gallow I don't know if you remember him no he was on stage and he a real physical act and he was doing this thing where he would do a reverse [ __ ] with a banana [ __ ] oh you'll reverse [ __ ] I guess he would like put the banana like fully formed on his lips then suck it back into his mouth or something like that and he call the reverse [ __ ] with a banana and so Jeff I'll never forget he looks over at me and he goes you don't have to do this I'm going to get you out of this and I go no no no no I told him I go these are my people I go trust me we're going to be fine here I know how to make these people laugh and so I went up and did my hell gig material you know because I did so many hell gigs that's
when you started being dirty again well was the one he he was convinced he gave in watching that one set in this crazy night club like it was the end of discussion whether or not I should be clean he goes okay we just got to concentrate on just go all dirty is that what he said he's the best having a guy like that uh as a manager just takes all the worry out of like career and handling things you know like you got a relationship like that with a guy you love the guy like family and he's also your manager alleviates so much you know so he's the best he's the best so Shandra they're the best but I just got so lucky that I met them you know there's a lot of cookie faces out there man a lot of crazy [ __ ] people in Show Business I mean how many Looney Tunes managers have we met how many people off the deep end how many people that [ __ ] Swindle people and wind up stealing money or owing money or embroiled in controversy every other year oh yeah blenny Clark got [ __ ] oh he got [ __ ] hard so did uh so did Jerry Seinfeld he got [ __ ] as well yeah a lot of guys did some agent stole hundreds of thousands is I know I'm not going to name here dirty sacks of [ __ ] yeah it's a funny business we're in D marera you and I have known each other for a long [ __ ] time now yes me brother 20 years 20 years of nineball too you think I'd be a little better lot of [ __ ] pool domara a lot of concentrate on his stroke we still gonna shoot tonight [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] come on son I got two hours in me that's all that's all you need two hours is the that's what the doctor ordered son I gotta I gotta make I gotta tell you now Joe three dama R relax over here um dama rare where can the folks see you next I'll be at the Improv in Atlanta thir this Thursday Friday Saturday and then the following I didn't even know the Atlanta that they had an heard it's nice they just open up pretty new yeah wow you want to hear how I got the gig how you get the gig I was doing a a benefit for uh animals it was for alen havy and for animal shelters Alan havy and I didn't even know what it was I just went in cuz it was Allen and I said I thought maybe Allan needed money and then they go no it's for dogs and cats I go [ __ ] dogs and cats I'm kidding you know but uh anyway so then I get a call the next
day I've been wanting to go to Atlanta and uh Bud fredman called and my agent is that funny oh Bud fredman's opening this trit well he's booking it yeah oh that's funny wow I didn't know bud book Things anymore thought he does like Reno and Tahoe and couple things oh I he had like had some thing at The Improv a couple years ago where he was like officially retiring but he always does yeah you know what it is it's probably too fun for him this guy's been in the [ __ ] business his whole life you know he can't he loves getting up and and saying hello he does and you know what and comedy's a great [ __ ] thing to still be a part of it's a fun thing to still be a part of yeah it is and I'm met Cleveland the following we go tell you hilarities then I'll be in kill Kenny if you're a stand-up comedy fan I don't think there's ever been more funny guys around than now I don't think so either I think it's one of the best times ever yeah there's so many good people men women there's so many there's so many funny chicks I think there's more funny chicks now than ever before never before yeah I know I was with Sarah Silverman the other night man she [ __ ] she's hilarious just her and Amy Schumer I think they rank up with the funniest chicks of all time I don't know Amy's work I gu Bonnie McFarland does as well she's [ __ ] hilarious she's hilarious she's very smart you know she's a very smart person she sees things she points out things and you you know they make sense you go with it it's good H hilarious voice yeah they you ever heard the podcast she gives me anxiety she tortures him does she really she tortures him it hurts my feelings I'm like Rich sh just shut the [ __ ] up just please Rich well she's hotter I'm just saying I'm just saying smarter than I'm just saying yeah that's a funny that's a funny podcast the be the best comedy couple by far is sigura and Christina bitki Christina do you don't know her Tom girl's wife dude that chick is [ __ ] funny yeah we did one of San tripy shows you know Sam tripy has that naughty show and Sam Trip's naughty shows if you've never seen him he does these shows with the Improv and uh they're not just comedy there's like all signs of craziness to it porn stars and
porn star they like they played some thing where uh if the guy got the question wrong the porn star beat him with a belt so this chick is like beating this dude's ass with a belt and everyone's screaming and going nuts and there boom they bring Christina pizitz on stage and I was she's very pretty yeah but she's not like a porn star looking chick she's like a very pretty regular chick right so um she goes on stage and by the way don't ever ask me if my wife my friend's wife is hot that's Ian to put you on the spot I just realiz did you son of a [ __ ] yeah but you she's very pretty but you handled it well you said she's pretty for a regular so it wasn't like she was selling sex she was just selling funny you know she was going up there and being funny I mean she she doesn't she dresses like you know like anybody nice ass I wouldn't say it was a badass trying to be as respectful as possible M di what I'll do respect okay and uh anyway she goes up there and I'm thinking man I just meet her right and she's with she's with Tom and I'm was like you know she seems so nice now for sure she's going to go eat dick up there it's going to be terrible how you follow that the guy just beat a dude's ass with a belt and everybody was screaming how do you follow that he took his pants down I I want to say yes I want to say at the very least like his underwear was out like he had his underwear on they they beat his ass with a belt like he got [ __ ] up that dude got hurt anyway um she crushes crushes just grabs it makes fun of it makes fun of the whole situation relaxed gets to the gets to it on her own due time just controlled the whole room like a pro it's so nice when you see that you know and you're like ah she knows what she's doing cuz there's nothing worse than befriending someone and then you know you've never seen them before and you on those like those those weird U Popin Nights At The Improv where you know like a lot of times like on those Wednesday and Tuesday night shows like there's some of the people in the crowd will be supporting the guy who's on stage and they bring like 10 people with them right yeah you never know I I brought a girl uh I didn't bring her there but she was she lives in Chicago and the lab Factory was is in Chicago and I was
doing it and she asked me if she could do some time cuz her family's there I never even saw her on stage no she's hot thank God she not only did she bring her family she brought a shitload of people and she did very well and she's really hot wait a minute she's good I wouldn't say she's good but I mean she's probably not like in Christine Christina's class yeah Christina pit but uh she did very well she's a newcomer you know she's really really green but I mean like all it was was just like me going yeah you're hot [ __ ] do seven minutes what do I care you know who impressed me the most uh doing like a pop in set like that little eser little eser Chago she did the Chicago Theater D there was 3,400 people there whatever the [ __ ] it's eats it's more than 3,000 I don't know how many it's eats but it's more than 3,000 she destroyed no kidding yeah she's good she was funny on the podcast too yeah there's so many funny [ __ ] people today this is crazy time crazy time it came back you know I mean [ __ ] yeah dude better I think it's better than ever yeah I really do look look Kevin Hart I mean um think about uh Brian Ken Nick depalo I mean uh Jim Brewer uh Bill Burr David tell David tell Dave Chappelle Chris Rock Louis CK um uh Tosh just stop right there I mean look at how many guys you're dealing with there I mean okay Pat Oswald you can't get Paton Oswalt he's one of the best yeah there's so many good guys right now man there's so many [ __ ] good guys you know [ __ ] makes me laugh though even though he's not a traditional standup who Andy kler oh he's hilarious [ __ ] kills me he is a traditional standup he's just just makes fun of stand up he makes fun it's yeah like he does so when he bombs he does better than when he's doing good yeah you know he's the funniest bomb orever he's awesome yeah he's he's quite a character that guy yeah we we live in good times this is great times for comedy and you know the fact that everybody has a podcast now I think is awesome I just think it's one of the most amazing things ever that all these different people have something that connects to the ACT you know like you get to see the person like instead of just seeing the
jokes on stage you get to see the unfiltered human being you know you get to see him [ __ ] around with [ __ ] talk about serious [ __ ] talk about not so serious [ __ ] bust balls be silly maybe sell little Ting sell a little this little that is it wrong to bring up Ting if you go to Rogan ting there a little Sumit it for you little Sumit it for yourself okay squarespace.com go there to your [ __ ] you [ __ ] hem oh yeah I'm supposed to like uh what is the Squarespace uh Squarespace URL yeah [ __ ] who was that from [ __ ] that was from uh Billy no joy peshi from uh [ __ ] you [ __ ] he told me that uh peshi came in to see his goddaughter at the lab Factory and I he thought I was going to go up so agreed to do my my radio show had a radio show there at the time C two years ago excuse me and uh he goes you I says I'm not going on I'm tired he goes well if you're not going on I'm not [ __ ] doing your podcast I said you're all right don't do it he goes that goes D I go to this [ __ ] uh talian restaurant in Vegas your pictures in the [ __ ] Ural I'm looking at you I feel like a [ __ ] [ __ ] looking at you what I'm taking a piss that's what Joe pesi said or is this a joke no that's what he said really Joe do F huh he he say he felt like he was a [ __ ] you should just pulled your [ __ ] out and see what happens next could you imagine if J should just start mowing down in your [ __ ] no I can't even if you're you know obviously you're not gay but even if you just for the experience is what I'm saying that's a good point I'll keep that in mind keep that in mind the next time we see him if he brings it up again while I was trying to figure out why he was telling you that well because my picture was up above the Ural cuz he loves you he does P [ __ ] in his hand and he just it was so memorable he had to bring it up why'd you have to [ __ ] say that for squarespace.com Joe use the code joe5 save yourself some money and uh thank you to on it.com o n niit t use a code name Rogan save 10% off any and all supplements Dominic [ __ ] iera Esquire thank you sir you're the [ __ ] man I am proud to be a friend my friend I'm I'm honored back it's been a lot of fun and joy over the 20 years knowing you we've had a lot of
good times my friend oh yeah and we plan on have more yeah a lot more coming all right you [ __ ] uh powerful Dan Hardy will be here Wednesday it'll be an early podcast uh 11 a.m. on uh Pacific time for powerful Dan Hardy and then there will also be one on Thursday and I'll let you know who's going to be on that all right you [ __ ] we love the [ __ ] out of you appreciate you all and uh and mad love to you big kisses thanks Joe [Music] [Laughter] [Music]