Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EGMQTVlNaHw
meow oh [ __ ] you dirty [ __ ] wait what no meow now oh okay oh you [ __ ] up my Flo Brian I had a false start out of the gate but like you saying bolt I will recover from my shitty start the Joan Experience Podcast is brought to you by on it.com that's o n niit t makers of alphab brain shroom Tech sport shroom Tech immune new mood strong bone all these different things well the big one is alphab brain that's my favorite that's the one I rely on and uh I use all of them but to me Alpha brain's my baby I wouldn't I wouldn't give that [ __ ] up that's tough's amazing I've got Lorenzo fatita completely hooked on it I got a lot of people hooked on it it's uh it's very effective what what is it their vitamins that enhance brain function is it [ __ ] no does may maybe it's a placebo I don't think no my crew my crew from uh Trip Flip we were in Scotland and I was having a rough morning and I was like [ __ ] it I'm alpab braining today and they and literally they said no more alphabrain I said why and they go you will not shut the [ __ ] up the whole van I was just playing these games like I was like [ __ ] I was funny as [ __ ] but it was like they were like you're [ __ ] exhausting us I was my wife outlawed alpab brain when I'm hanging out with my daughters cuz I don't I don't play with my daughters I just think of jokes I'm just [ __ ] firing I love this [ __ ] that's weird that sounds like you're high like your wife is telling you not to get higher on your kids well she did it does not do that to me man are you dipping your Alpha Brain in cocaine no no no but if you take some Al and some coffee you're [ __ ] creative and this is the new thing I heard if you put a little bit of nicotine nicotine nicotine gum is the [ __ ] stimulates creativity yeah nicotine we had Rob wolf on the podcast who uh talked about that about nicotine gum being really good for creativity makes sense yeah apparently what's really bad about cigarettes is the 590 different things that they added to make them more addictive which you know you want to know that you've been sold down a [ __ ] River by politicians how about the fact that your [ __ ] cigarettes have 590 ingredients and all those [ __ ] do is make it easier to hook you what what
if cigarette companies like added 20,000 good ingredients to it on top of the 500 bad one CU then it would be more good than that at the end of the day man you're still burning things and taking that burning chemicals in your mouth and that can cause cancer it just can you know even the the the best case example of burning chemicals and then breathing it in I don't see how that's going to help you the tobacco itself is not nearly as bad just the burning plant matter is not nearly as bad what if they put a little bit of asparagus or aloe into that smoke though you know so it's well I think I'm saying for like your uh for quitting you know and for I think tobacco is supposed to be like if you like one of those American cigarettes what are those things called Amer cigarettes those are supposed to be easier to kick they're they're also harder to smoke and worse for you in my and they go out they go everyone complains that they go out like they they just will stop burning and they stop burning so they don't have all the [ __ ] all the little the little gasoline in there to keep it running they actually actually cigarettes now have these things built into the paper at least in California by law they have to have these Stoppers so when people flick cigarettes out the window it used to be they'll just burn all the way to the filter well now they have like these things that's built into the paper that stops IT from smoking which probably gives you even more what the [ __ ] let's start adding to that that that is the best thing I ever did is quit smoking and quit dipping I was addicted to dipping worse than anything that's like a grab bag of money that's all that is you know you shouldn't be selling that [ __ ] you know you shouldn't be hooking people on that St get out of that business that's a creepy goddamn business but what if your company was like Philip Morris tobacco and then you're driving a [ __ ] Ferrari and flying around in a private jet because you're poisoning all these [ __ ] so you have to keep like greasing politicians and that's why you never hear any of these guys you never hear Obama you never hear Bush you never hear anybody talk about getting rid of cigarettes they never do they talk about homosexuality they talk about everything
but [ __ ] they talk about Trayvon Martin y but they don't talk about [ __ ] cigarettes once cigarettes kill four this is a conservative estimate it could be more 400,000 people a year 400,000 and it might be God she just add his special effect to it I accidentally Brian was smoking a cigarette on his way over here right after strep through you'd have to wrap your [ __ ] head around that man that's a lot of goddamn people that's a half a million people like a picture stack of bodies and they were all rotting all because of cigarettes that's that is really crazy that is [ __ ] crazy that's a [ __ ] astounding any other product if they told had that number they'd be like [ __ ] it Kale did that they take out the kale Farmers if kale was killing 400,000 people a year but could you [ __ ] imagine but people like what I like it though it helps me stay thin I [ __ ] so much better with kale I love when I see green [ __ ] on the toilet paper imagine if kale if kale was if kale killed one person they would shut down the [ __ ] kale factories but cigarettes are just steady sure kale killed more than one person what the [ __ ] are you talking about because salad always gets that that disease on it or what no no stop right now stop that's not how they've killed people the worst medical diagnosis of all time it has some in it disease you just your conversation was running with snowshoes on through mud that was what that with ski goggles on and two baseball gloves on each hand well yeah that is true that a lot of people have gotten sick they've I think it's eoli eoli from eating spinach especially and because ways are sh from cows runs from that [ __ ] will get onto the crops Y and that can have eoli because and one of the reasons why it can have ecoli is cu they're giving these cows things they're not supposed to be eating to make to make them fatter like grains so cattle were supposed to eat grass that's where they that's where their natural food is so when you don't give them grass they apparently can get really sick with E coli and then that [ __ ] gets onto the spinach so it all goes back to like farming like an [ __ ] I think people have died from
that so kale has killed more people have choked on K it's spinach though spinach spinaches just kill people and and the funny thing is I did a I did a Morning Show thing with uh in wherever I was in Omaha and I and they had a farmer that was talking about his grass-fed steak right you got to try I do grass-fed and so he gets done the thing and I go so what is it like does grass-fed taste better he goes no not at all I go what he it actually has less flavor I then what's the thing he go oh it's just what I do like no [ __ ] there's no better the reason it's grassfed is like [ __ ] nothing well that's a weird uh for him that's a weird thing to say because I prefer the taste of grass-fed it's more um gamey it's more gaming I'm sure the ones that are corn Fred you know they're just fat as [ __ ] those are real oh my God I [ __ ] love steak RI eyes a fat riye yeah the preparation is disgusting you're [ __ ] up these animals but God damn you make a good steak let's get out this commercial dude yeah yeah yeah well you know what commercial this is still the commercial but the bottom line is people people complaining that our commercials have been boring yeah because we're we're missing we're missing the sexiness we need another sexy thing the well maybe something something I could [ __ ] you feel like we're missing something not having the Fleshlight as a sponsor flashlight not a sponsor anymore absolutely absolutely I think it's crazy it's I don't feel comfortable with it at all I miss talking about gross sex to you need to grow son you need to get out of that it's enough we can only I mean we did 200 plus podcast where we talked about Rober bu much that's beautiful how hard it is to do that how much would it cost for a sponsorship like give me a ball we don't talk about this in the air I want to talk about it cuz I'm maybe I'll just have Travel Channel sponsor this show do you have Olive Garden kind of money yeah no I'll get Travel Channel to trip FP so you have to talk about [ __ ] got it out early I'll do it seven more times on it.com that's o n niit t uh what is Alpha brand listen if you go to on it.com everything will be explained it is a very comprehensive website including all the science behind Alpha Brain what the different I stole the ingredients nutrients 5 hcp yeah
that's that stuff's great does anything have melatonin in like any of the on it products have like a sleeping aid like melatonin now you should do that melatonin is awesome they should do like new mood bonus turbo style or something like that SLE yeah or like super new think this new mood would be almost the opposite because it's a boosting like an enlightening F yeah but it relaxes you also does it yeah well I think for some folks some people have a little bit more tension so it's get probably like alleviates a little bit of that they should call it just something cool like it's amazing though that they figured out someone can do that pass the [ __ ] out pass the [ __ ] chill chill dog would be awesome if they made a melat chill dog don't be such a douche and it spell it like dawg yeah dawg for sure yeah I emailed on it this weekend on Twitter and ask them to come up with something for alcohol to like make the turnaround better or something that I do you're not going to do anything you're poisoning yourself what you can help two things can help one water and two neut tropics and three battle ropes if you uh if you take like a bunch of new mood and a bunch of Alpha Brain after you if you're hung over and drink a you have to drink a fuckload of water and you should almost always take nutrients with food your your body absorbs them better if they're connected to fats and of carbohydrates so you should always take pills uh with with food but uh as far as I'm you know I think your the real problem is dehydration yeah you know you you're poisoning yourself and you're it's alcohol is an amino supressant it's a diuretic it's like you're you're really like sending your body through some [ __ ] so the only way to recover from that is time water food good food give it a chance to go yeah if if I get a little bit of sleep the night before I feel like like if I stop drinking and then do some [ __ ] and then go to bed I feel [ __ ] so much better but I when I wake up and I have that beer on the bedst stand next to me just staring at me like a gay lover like wow we had a weird [ __ ] night last night anyway on it.com o n niit t um if you if you order the first 30 pills um and you uh you have an opportunity to
try it out and if you don't like it you get 100% money back guarantee the idea is that what we're selling you is really good it's it's really effective and I don't want anybody to ever feel ripped off it's more important for me that people feel like this is an even deal than it is to make money so we have a 100% money back guarantee on the first 30 pills if you don't like it just say it it's it you don't have to return it I'm telling you it's some fascinating [ __ ] I love it it it it helps me but also diet helps me you know vitamins multivitamins fish oil everything you need to take care of your health [ __ ] get on that [ __ ] but if you're interested in any of the neut tropics that are available on alphabrain use the code name Rogan you'll save yourself 10% off and as I said 100% money back guarantee on the first 30 pills we also have just in kettle bells and battle ropes and these are the the newest addition to the onit store and if you've never done kettlebell workouts before that's some manly man type [ __ ] it's like a cannonball with a handle on it and there's a lot of videos online that'll show you how to you know you can just go to YouTube and if you want to learn how to uh do some of the exercises but my advice to you if you're going to try it start with a lightweight you'd be [ __ ] amazed you can get a great workout with a 35lb kettle bell bunch of them on 20 or something like that you could not me son that's where I draw the line 35b you say 35 lbs though and I heard that and I was like well I'll get my 35 lb kettle bell and do those swings yeah and I I'm not I'm a 25 pounder what yeah like I but I'm my back that's ridiculous what's wrong with you I hadon came to my house to show me how to do them I was doing them [ __ ] I was doing them all so did you hurt yourself yeah I [ __ ] my back up yeah you got to my advice is always start light and learn from an instructor if you can if you if you can afford to go to a gym and hire a guy for 20 bucks an hour whatever they charge I mean more than that right 50 bucks an hour or you can just go to a John hefron show John hefron will show you how to [ __ ] he's a certified instructor yeah he's a maniac Herron's a maniac he's always doing something crazy like that going all Anthony Robbins on
you yeah he's always trying to succeed anyway uh if you're interested in kettle bells it's in my opinion the the if I had to choose one method of strength and conditioning I would choose body weight exercises and kettle bells things like like body weight squats body squats a beast yeah Hindu squats look that [ __ ] up online they're they're [ __ ] ferocious I do 200 of them in a row it's so hard it's so hard when you get towards the end when when you you get close to 200 there's there a guy named Carl gotch who was this [ __ ] crazy wrestler dude was awesome old uh catch wrestler he used to make his students do 500 of them before practice before practice 500 body weight squats before practice that's those just try doing [ __ ] just try doing 50 in your [ __ ] hotel room and you literally unbelievably hard the idea behind kettle bells is that it makes your body work as one unit and uh I believe that you know with body weight squats and chinups and kettle bells you can you can get in [ __ ] phenomenal shape you don't really even need a gym you need to you know just follow some videos that you can get online Steve Maxwell's got some great videos we're going to eventually put out a video um so show you guys what I do but I should put out a video and show you what not to do what not to great idea I should be like like don't do it this way and show me doing it like completely wrong and just fall down poop everywhere there's a video of me doing kettle bells on travelchannel.com yeah and uh I [ __ ] I was doing them and I thought I was doing murder in them right and I [ __ ] watch the video and I'm barely doing anything I look like [ __ ] I look like a I look like my kids messing around with my weights what kind of exercise were you doing I was doing the [ __ ] swings I do the swings I I tried to do I read some article where a guy said he was going to do a thousand yeah you know that yeah they had this thing where they were going to do them in in sets of 100 over like a really short amount of time yeah yeah I heard that super bad for you though yeah really bad for you but the guy lost like a ridiculous amount of weight just doing kettle bells I'm sure you put your body into extreme stress though you know I mean that's the idea I I've heard a lot of I'm really talking out of my ass I
have a limited amount of knowledge really that's why it smells in here boy oh that's a way to get out of a commercial ex St Brian saved the day anyway I don't know exactly what you need to do to get you know 100% fit I mean you I'm not a a a a exercise physiologist but I do know that one way that works extremely well and the method that I use is that kettle bells they're [ __ ] awesome kettle bells body weight exercises that's all I do sort of I do I'll do whatever the [ __ ] I want but what I'm telling you is Kell tell me what to do [ __ ] what I'm saying is kettle bells are the [ __ ] all right go to go to on it.com U the code name Rogan does not work with the kettle bells or the battle ropes cuz we sell those [ __ ] as cheap as humanly possible not that expensive no I thought it was going to be like 250 bucks a kettle bell it's not it's affordable it's very the it's very problematic to try to send these giant [ __ ] cannonballs through the mail cannonballs with handles it's so silly like the ship it's like one of the dumbest things you could ever ship cuz there it's so expensive it's and the poor [ __ ] people could you imagine people to bust off is getting the Box 90b cattle Bell Jesus [ __ ] Christ yeah but awesome exercise equipment and we have a full line of at on it.com we have packages I actually need to get a pair of these you need to get a pair of them you [ __ ] lazy you have any extra ones around here I'll give you some I'll hook you up I'll hook you up you want some 20 Pounders yeah 20 I'll start off with 20 start off with some 20s yeah you should you going to get in shape now no I mean that just to me kettle bell seems like the easiest thing to work like for like that's easy to work you don't need to lay down you don't need to put weights on anything you just grab it and [ __ ] do it you're done in 20 minutes I can I'll give you a workout that will [ __ ] break your spirit in 20 minutes I want that work out it's brutal you got to get in shape before you do it though that's another thing you know build slowly if you're not a person who's been doing a lot of exercises are you know our friend Kevin Pereira from a attack of the show he got crazy into weightlifting like all
at once and he hurt his knees like he [ __ ] his shoulder up he was doing like heavy weights like right away I think he had a guy training him that was probably not conservative enough with how he uh like pushed him and he's got like problems now so don't don't yeah don't do that you know be careful get your [ __ ] together [ __ ] that's my message all right ladies and gentlemen the machine is here cue the music Brian Jo podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all [Music] day powerful bird Crusher my man what's what's happening dude nothing I uh just got back from Omaha oh were you for your Travel Channel show Travel Channel show no no I was doing standup I Travel Channel show got picked up for a second season oh that's amazing man we took desk squaders on a vacation yeah I heard you got some people uh you picked up in the prominade yeah pick the and he just I was walking by and he's like machine and I walked over and like you need people you need to interview as many people as possible so even people are like especially when people are like no thanks I'm like please just talk to me anyway we got to fill up our [ __ ] day with interviews right so I I go I go he goes I was just want to came down to get a picture and I went well [ __ ] it come be on my show and he was like seriously I was like yeah and then I start holy [ __ ] I start talking to them and I go I go so what are you guys doing here and she says you know we came down to meet you we're in town for a wedding and we thought let's [ __ ] go to the prominade and he wanted to get his picture with you and I was like hilarious and then I said I go I look at the dude right now I kind of know I got him cuz he listens to this podcast so I go skip the [ __ ] wedding and he goes it's two weddings and I go skip both of them and he looks at me and he goes I'll [ __ ] do it and his wife his wife goes Anie we can't we can't it's my it's my cousin's wedding and my roommate from college he goes I don't even know her roommate from college let's go let's [ __ ] go yeah it's so [ __ ] weak hands on her part they skipped cousin [ __ ] weddings they skipped one of the weddings just in case we called back to
interview them again so they skipped he was they were and man let me tell you something I had never had more fun with one dude in my entire life we shot machine guns we [ __ ] we jumped off a three-story balcony like we did the it was the funnest [ __ ] trip then at the end of the trip we're sitting there like we wrapped we're having dinner as a group and he goes I go you guys have a good time and he's like I just wanted to get a picture with you I [ __ ] partied with you all weekend like yeah what a [ __ ] great day for that guy oh he was so [ __ ] he was typical Des Squad right we go to meet Selen Dion and and I and we're backstage you get 3 minutes with her and so and so and we're we got tiets to the show for them for her and so we say I say to the guy I go I go Aon is 3 minutes too much yeah you can you can you can't last 3 minutes we only spent a minute 15 I that seems like a long a time man imagine if it was that Seline Dion would [ __ ] you for 3 minutes oh my God imagine that was the deal imagine if our culture was like so open that like like a woman like that would go and just [ __ ] all of our fans for 3 minutes but there was a price to it and it went to charity I guarantee you get some people to do it for charity come on it's the asbca okay sucking dicks for charity maybe we can combine two things that everybody loves yes helping out the poor and [ __ ] I'm [ __ ] I'm all in so he gets three minutes with Selen Deion and I go I go everyone get your questions ready like you need we need to be tight so everyone have your questions so the girl I said what's your question and the girl goes I'm going to ask her how she does it as a mother as as a working mother how does she juggle it all and in my head I'm like wouldn't it be great if Selen Dion's like I'm very very wealthy I don't have to take care of my kids I play on private jets but she didn't she was like I was like great great question someone get something that the CH Network like so what's your question he goes dead [ __ ] serious he goes huh I'm I'm going to ask her if she's ever seen Titanic I go are you [ __ ] kidding me he goes yeah I go that is the perfect question Aaron you ask her that he goes why is that a dumb question I go no no it's not dumb at all so we get in Seline Deion comes in she
meets him then she answers a question for the girl and then says to him I go eron's got a question and he goes I was wondering in your career I goes stop it I goes stop and seline's like what and I go you ask her the question you said you were going to ask and he goes have you ever seen Titanic and Selen Dion breaks out laughing goes cut who the [ __ ] is this guy what kind of a horrible question is this why cut she it's the dumbest question did she ever she Titanic course she [ __ ] saw no we're rolling on the whole thing and she goes that is the dumbest question I've ever been asked have I seen Titanic yes I saw the movie and he goes did you like it she goes did I like Titanic are you kidding me it was we ended up spending like 17 minutes with her cuz she [ __ ] fell in love with this guy and so yeah and they had to pull her out of the room it was it was she the second he asked that question she [ __ ] loved us and then she goes looks at me and she goes where do you get these guys and I said and I go well and she goes wait who are you I go I'm Bert she goes what kind of name is Bert s she was it was [ __ ] awesome was she drunk no no she was she was getting ready to perform she was going on stage we the show started late because she hung out with us backstage did she have panties on no she was she had a really expensive dress that they handmade for her oh so she's a ball buster she's awesome she was really fun and then you're tight with Selene Dion does she have my celebrity cache list is ridiculous these days [ __ ] like they're not like they're not it's like a it it's like a they're not like all in one area like I have like like I'm friends with Sam Champion Rachel Ray Selen like that's crazy the weirdest group of people friends with some that's high level [ __ ] Rachel Ray Rachel Ray is G did you hear her say the nword uh if you ever hear that clip on YouTube like during a show she said the n-word it can I play it for you cuz there's a Twist to it all right let me look for it you guys oh my God I [ __ ] in love Rachel yeah she seems like a nice person she seems fun speaking of which you know who's definitely listening today who Larry the Cable Guy Larry the Cable Guy Larry the Cable Guy gave us he has his own potato chips that's how much
of a baller Larry the Cable Guy and they're [ __ ] amazing I like how it says boy that's good eating right on the top this is uh boy this is good eating this is uh Larry the Cable guys they're cheeseburger chips doesn't that sound awesome so good so Larry the Cable Guy listen to the podcast I was in Omaha Larry I said what's up just tell him right there Larry what's up come to the ice house I met Larry way way way way way back in the day we met at the Comedy Works in Montreal Canada in um maybe 19 [ __ ] like early 90s or something like that like 93 94 maybe like maybe the latest it could have been it was like 95 or ' 96 but uh met him there and uh we had a great [ __ ] time he was a great guy ho [ __ ] they're good aren't they this is delicious yeah they're [ __ ] amazing it has every flavor in it has like ketchup mustard onion you can tell that a that a fat guy made them because there's like extra seasoning on them you know how when you get like that one Dorito that looks extra dark you're like oh this is going to be a good one all the chips are like that in there this is the weirdest [ __ ] thing I've ever had in my life that tastes like a cheeseburger in your mouth it's a cheeseburger um potato chip it's so [ __ ] good you taste the mustard you taste the mustard I know it has every they're insane the Buffalo this can be good for you there's no way I the serving size says half chip yeah you get this sometimes you just got to take it on the take it on the chin for flavor like I love that you just holding them you're looking at them like these can't be good for you can't be good for you they're too delicious this is this is like this is eily I can't I can't I cuz I'm I want one more you know it tastes like White Castle White Castle hamburgers it tastes like to me McDonald's hamburgers oh let me tell you I went to Burger King I haven't ate in four days like I've been cuz I'm sick with strep throat you're so [ __ ] lucky and so I was eating watermelon chick I was eating like I was eating like watermelon like that's the only thing I could eat was like watermelon and so yesterday was the first day I was like you know what I can eat now my throat's not that sore anymore I'm going to eat something really bad just kind of
cuz I need something in me bad you know something horrible and so I I was like the first fast food place so I went to Burger King I'm like all right I haven't been to bur King in a long time I'm going to try it out I had a Whopper fries and uh they they're smoothie the Smoothie was okay but the Whopper it tasted like it was grilled and thrown in a bucket and then thrown in the microwave and then slapped on mayonnaise it was just the most disgusting tasting hamburger ever their fries they changed their fries or something horrible like I took one bite of the fry I'm like I don't want any more of that like I didn't eat one thing and then I was looking and I was like what how is this place still in business there is so much competition nowadays for burgers from all these like gourmet burger places or just like In-N-Outs type places takes time those things take time the the reason why Burger King and McDonald's works is familiarity people have been going there forever and there's you know there's a guarantee you go in there you get it you go but something happened to Burger King cuz it didn't used to always be like this right they can't [ __ ] with Wendy's if you go if you want to go for like the best like chain in my opinion it's Wendy's like National but Wendy's can't [ __ ] within and out Wendy's no Bakers is the best Five Guys Burgers can [ __ ] with In-N-Out Five Guys burgers are right up there they're different than In-N-Out Burgers and you be go how could it be different they're different that's what I'm saying you're talking about all these awesome burger places Burger King and then you know like their latest thing is a bacon milkshake or or sunde I'm like seriously that's a hilarious internet joke but no one's going to you're not going to [ __ ] make money selling that in and out and five are the [ __ ] when cook the [ __ ] nice fresh meat Patty right in front of you they slap it down there they cook it right in front of you man that's how it should be yes not [ __ ] pulled out of a bin with water juice we shouldn't yeah we shouldn't even allow that other way it shouldn't be pre-processed at all why does it need to be Inn El doesn't do it that way because they it's a ridiculous expensive profit thing if you if you uh all of a sudden you're using only fresh
you know you're not freezing your beef which is What In and Out does they use fresh beef then you have transport issues it doesn't last as long you got to you know you got to make sure that you judge how much you need exactly or you have overages it's it's not going to last it's like I mean how long does like ground beef last if you don't freeze it can't be more than a few days and starts to get funky but it's so like when you take anyone from not in La that's inviting when you take them to In and Out they're always like this is [ __ ] amazing yeah it's it's that's what you're supposed to do it's like Steak and Shake on steroids it's funny we we we're like we're we're so accustomed to shitty food that's like it's like that's the norm like the shitty food is the norm in a world where there's competition it is weird that that happened why isn't there one place though that has like like imagine Whole Foods as a fast food place that's open all the time like a 24-hour place like a m like a you know a m a Burger King like a sounds like Brian's looking for a place to pick up chicks in the middle of night you think no you think with today's people that uh that are on all these diets and stuff and that they're so concerned about it that that there'll be one person to step up like look we're going to make kinwall 24 hours a day fast food you know kinwall sides like we're going to have a healthy all 100% natural vegan crap you know everything but it's 24 hours a day and it's you know like Starbucks so you need something that's an alternative Jack in the Box it's convenient I'm like running from job to job like I have 10 minutes to eat I'm not going to go [ __ ] to the grocery store and go home and cook and then like I need all right uh Wendy's I'll get up baked potato and some chili or you know something stupid like that yeah it's hard to eat healthy if you're on the Fly that's for sure it is weird that we have so many different places where you could eat like [ __ ] sub it's so hard to find a place where you can eat healthy they're coming out with one my dad just invested in it oh yeah and it's yeah and it's the reason it the interesting thing is he told me about it I don't know what it is I don't know the name of it but it's uh in definitely coming out in Florida and it's and they
only talked about it cuz when Chick-fil-A got on all that heat for saying that anyone gazed to Mary uh I heard all these other places talking about you know it's Chick-fil-A is one of the healthier places to eat and this new place is going to be the same type of thing like a lot of healthy options Chick-fil-A is one of the healthier places to eat unless unless you're gay then just all the hate Vibes you'd get my phone doesn't work up here i' call my dad and get the name of the place but I I've said the same thing Brian cuz I'd love to have something you just go in and know that you can get a meal around $400 calories that's kind of like [ __ ] a little more tradition salad something real some real food some actual food I want a protein and a bunch of steamed vegetables yeah yeah it's it's weird how much if you look at the just the overall numbers of restaurants that we have it's weird how much of it is [ __ ] yeah it's like it's the majority like all the quick ones are [ __ ] look at look at the I mean Taco Bell can you can you imagine that it took Taco Bell this long to come out with a healthy option well they have bean burritos no they got the new thing they've got a a taco bowl yeah like this new bowl that the chef designed that I saw commercial for and I was like oh I got to [ __ ] try that out and then I got Taco Bell I was like [ __ ] that Mexican pizza so like but I don't know what you just said Mexican pizza you never you never have a what a weird little rant to yourself yeah you [ __ ] that good pizza Tac about I was trying to say I can't order healthy when I get to Taco Bell I'm like [ __ ] it oh dude yeah that Dorito taco you can't go even order anything other than the Dorito taco now that shells are made out of Doritos it's the most amazing thing in the whole entire world that's Taco Bell yeah it's it's it's Taco Bell see that's somebody like unlike Burger King Taco Bell is they're on their game they're making [ __ ] better taste yeah but didn't they get busted for having their their beef all be it was horse was it it was horse when did this happen I don't know but but I only know that because I did a channel a show for Animal Planet and this woman was raised primi and stallions and she told me she was like it was maybe one of the greatest days of
my life but she told me she goes premian stallions are stallions they keep pregnant cuz they do this uh they produce this this hormone that goes into share hair shampoo and then she said oh yeah and it's the Canadians she went off on the Canadians she was like and I was like we're never going to use this but apparently in Canada no it's a it's it's not a fact that chick was some crazy hippie they eat very quick Google search tells you that uh Taco Bell does not use horse meat and that is a false rumor no and actually Taco B's response to that yeah it is I mean they they had a good response whatever who cares it it doesn't matter it's it's delicious and what unlike Burger King which seems like you're going to a crack house nowaday the Obama Administration okayed horse meat for Americans that's why I'm swear to God I want to say I had to be in there IO ate horse meat used to be legal in Japan where you used to uh just go to like places and eat horses but they outlawed it and she said it was delicious well they yeah they eat horses in other countries um this guy Alistar over it's [ __ ] huge MMA fighter like a a big powerlifting looking Dude Looks Like a superhero you know who over is right yeah well over is uh big on eating horse meat he says that's where he gets all his protein from a lot of athletes say that too really they eat hor meat yeah got to be super easy to catch Pony's the ve super easy to catch come up with an apple Wild Horses they're like that's a that's a it's a tame horse those are the ones that after Mustangs like only like wild [ __ ] horses like if they really taste good I mean I'm sure people hunted them it's amazing that they figured out how to get along with people they're just like just let them ride us never freak out ever let them ride us and they Keep Us Alive cuz every other animal like think about like how prevalent they are amongst people you know they get to live in the stall and everything's good and nobody eats them nobody sets a [ __ ] piston through their head they give you nice food all the time they pet you and brush you the horse has it like way better than cow oh the cows [ __ ] because the cows were like [ __ ] you can't ride us the [ __ ] off get the [ __ ] off get the [ __ ] off they they wanted us off so bad do you think thees saw that another
pasture they were like [ __ ] that's why we started eating them we were like [ __ ] you [ __ ] you won't let us ride you okay well then we'll eat you how about that stupid what good are you to us we can't ride you that's why we were barely eating the horses even with all cars everywhere we don't need horses anymore we can eat the [ __ ] out of them we're like no we have a special special bond cuz you let me ride you they're cruising off this reputation from when they used to ride them exactly they become our friends they became our friends when they're just the dopiest most docile easily tricked animal they Panic you lock them up you it's called breaking them you get a rope around their neck you settle them the [ __ ] down you let them know who's boss the horse from then on lets you ride them and right now they're in tenure obviously that's the case there's probably a lot more complications to the process than just shortening this for the for you guys want to hear Rachel Ray sing the N word sure all right here we go it's better not be think of all the kids you'll be helping so that's I think that's do you do you I don't but I'm thinking of starting it because when you're on a plane and stuff I'm always envious of the Knitters yeah yeah do they still let you bring the tools on though hold on hold on hold on I'm always envious of the what because when you're on a plane and stuff I'm always envious of the yeah yes do they still let you bring the tools on though wait hold on one more time it's my favorite what is she and stuff I'm always envious of the knitts yeah yeah do they still let you bring the tools on though she's talking about the knitts oh knitting leader knitting oh my God oh my God she's like you get to bring the tools on like the Jesus Christ I would never you know um there was I love it a woman got in trouble she was a teacher for using the word niggardly in uh in front of a class for using that word she got in trouble there's a congressman that got in trouble for that yeah and it's it's that was hilarious it's a word I mean that's a real word yeah it sounds like another word but uh there's there's a lot of
words that sound like bad words Le got reprimanded for um using the phrase cotton picking what like lean we were at the beach and she had said something like uh give me one cotton pick a minute you know you've ever heard the T this cotton picking this it's it's in the South Leanne said it was a it was a euphemism for godamn right so give me this you know and then all of a sudden someone said something to her and lean went oh my God I never realized what I'm saying like am I saying cotton Pig in like a black person like an actual cotton picker right and so I was like holy [ __ ] and so I looked it up and it turns out that cotton picking just is a horrible [ __ ] activity it's like a [ __ ] [ __ ] in my mouth act like no one enjoyed cotton picking so it's like give me one cotton pick a minute it's like actually means give me the longest [ __ ] minute you could ever give me cuz cotton picking was exhausting cotton apparently is uh was way easier to process so that's why it took over from hemp really until the 1930s they came out with a machine called a decorticator and they we're going to have everything convert back to hemp we use cotton but cotton is like it it sucks ass in compared to hemp in comparison to hemp it's not nearly as strong the tensil strength the the durability it's it's an amazing plant but the people that were in the cotton industry got together with Dupont who were the people that made nylon and William Randol Hurst who was the guy who ran Hurst Publications who also had these paper mills that were all based on wood and he would have had to convert them to to use hemp so it was a basically an industry they were trying to suppress it industry really so that's how marijuana became illegal it all became illegal because of uh the cotton industry and fiber Nyon all of them William rof Hurst all of them getting together and pretty much playing Monopoly but it was about hemp it wasn't about the the getting high part it was about this this incredible plant that if you by the way which is illegal in this country it's illegal it's you can't even get high on it it's a cousin of marijuana it's not it's not psychoactive just the hemp it it doesn't it doesn't have the drug in it doesn't have the drug and you can't you can't grow it you
have to grow it in Canada we have this stuff that's coming out on on it it's called Uh hemp Force it's this protein powder made with hemp hearts it's so hard to get this stuff we can only buy 50 pounds of it a day you can't buy any more of it so we have like limited quantities like to sell this hemp protein power because it's the best hemp protein powder that you can get is made um in Canada these hemp hearts and we can't grow them here we they don't allow you to even though it's not it's like you can't get high from it at all it's impossible you can't you're not allowed to grow it here and that all is like it's it's amazing how like natural resources things like cotton and hemp and oil even can be manipulated like that it's it's like that we have to look at it like what it really is it's really like sort of an economic thing the cotton Jin you know straightened it out for a lot of people like how to how to process cotton and that that made it a little bit easier but it's like that battle that we that the me the hemp and marijuana World lost in like 1930 whatever it is they still still lost it it's amazing and North was all about polyester right suits those those leisure suits whoever talked people into those those [ __ ] crazy suits that they wore in the 70s when you're skin they people lost their [ __ ] mind I think it was Don knot Don knots he's the one that started all that [ __ ] you know here's where you can see how America lost its [ __ ] mind in the 70s I was um I had U um a game of pool the other night with Adam Ferrara do you know Adam Ferrara he's comian yeah yeah he's in he's in Omaha next weekend he used to be on rescue me and he is now one of the American host for Top Gear yeah and we went on we we're both car enthusiasts and we were talking about looking at the cars from like the 70s like from the early 7s to the late 7s to the early 80s to the '90s it's like what the [ __ ] happened to us like we completely lost the ability to make cool cars like somehow or another you go back to the the 50s and the 60s and you look at what like America had like Corvettes and [ __ ] Mustangs and those are dope cars they're so dope that people still want them today even with their shitty ass technology of the 1960s people still
drive Mustangs around cuz they're so [ __ ] cool looking we lost that I don't think we l I think right now it's the one of the best times that's what we're saying they had the Ford Tempo and you're like what the [ __ ] was that car the Camaro of the [ __ ] 80s look at A9 Camaro and look at a Camaro of the likeu did you do you just like you melted it you smoothed it it's nothing now and that's it's boring as [ __ ] this is like a terrible design that by the same people like what kind of lazy [ __ ] designed that piece of [ __ ] car the [ __ ] ugly ass Camaro like now the Camaro is badass now now is [ __ ] awesome I think it's the best it's ever looked I think they totally nailed it but it makes you wonder it's like were we in Haze as a country like what the [ __ ] happened is the auto world like the the auto community in this country what the [ __ ] happened to them in the 80s and the 90s that they were so uncreative I bet it was the same thing we were talking about as they just got like the tobacco industry they just got they just stopped [ __ ] caring and they were making money Handover Fist and then all a sudden the Japanese just took it over I don't I would love to hear a story about it must be some a bunch of factors must be the show Lost the show Lost maybe it's like people like you know they gave up taking psychedelics and all the designers weren't taking psychedelics anymore and they weren't drawing stingrays instead they were drawing these [ __ ] shitty Corvettes of the 80s did you ever see the Corvettes of the 80s no oh yeah yeah yeah yeah if you're driving around in a 1980 Something Corvette most I mean you might be a cool guy you might be an Enthusiast but chances are you're a [ __ ] loser all right that's a probably a creepy dude you you're driving one of the ugliest one of the coolest cars America's ever designed and you one of the ugliest versions ever that's the one that you picked but if you have a 1969 Corvette you go back to one of those old stingr those are [ __ ] [ __ ] evil things that's an evil looking car man I mean even just a Plymouth in from like 67 is just a monster you know all the ones the the uh cholos uh low rider oute which one oh yeah Impala Impala the Impala is a
badass [ __ ] car a piece of art man Ferrari showed me uh he's got a a photo of a friend of his um had a really nicely done 57 Cadillac and you just look at it you go oh my God it was a work of art it was a work of art those [ __ ] man I get obsessed every now then online I'll just start googling like years of cars like the Lincoln I wanted the Cadillac the 69 Cadillac convertible that convertible is just it's the big beast whale ridiculous the that is the one of the biggest examples of American excess one of the most beautiful examples the giant Cadillac those were ridiculous those were [ __ ] badass cars and I remember getting in one in high school someone's dad had one and we felt like gangsters we had maybe a foot of [ __ ] between the three of us but we felt like pimps just smoking cigarettes and oh remember how the ride on those things man you just kind of like Flo Flo just you'd cut take a corner and they were the wor first in handling they could handle it all I always wanted one of those things those uh Volkswagen Volkswagen Thing what's that what's it was like it was the ugly [ __ ] it looked like it belonged in the middle of the Sahara and a bunch of Germans should be coming out of it oh it was really weird was it 1974 I think I had a Volkswagen curado was one of my there was the first thing that I got when I had a development deal I bought a used kado was a good car man was a was that the was that the the back the one with the back was kind of like a like slickback um I don't no I don't remember what it looked like to be honest with I remember the Volkswagen sraco it wasn't that it was more of a boxy I [ __ ] love Volkswagen I love my car I love your new car too that thing's [ __ ] awesome yeah I'm in love with a car I had a fox I had a Jetta I had a Jeep I had a I'm trying to think of all my [ __ ] cars you know what this thing is they look like a GTI it looks just like a GTI oh I know what you're talking about this is the car car this this car if the the only car in the world that has a Sentimental Feeling to me even that stupid Barracuda that I bought and had made on the TV show it's not as sentimental to me as this car cuz it was the first thing I got when I got some money and I uh wound up uh giving it to uh Dave Pierre dude who worked at The
Comedy Store yeah it was worth like I don't remember what it was worth but it was worth a lot more than he had so uh I said how much you do you have and he's like I have like whatever he had you know yeah like okay you can take it and he was like what the [ __ ] you talking about cuz it was like basically it was like a new car but that was when I was on news radio and I was I was a baller I heard a story about Drew Cary giving his uh Miata to someone he gave his car someone it was a Miata though those are cool cars man they yeah they are dude you ever drive Miata no [ __ ] Miatas are fun [ __ ] cars first of all they're super light and if you drive a super light car you really feel the road like yeah Miatas are great drivers driven in a Miata I just always I just always had a visual of Drew Cary in a Miata they got [ __ ] somehow or another Miata got [ __ ] and their first Bland version of the car you know it became a woman's car yeah I don't know why but it's a fun little sporty car it's like it's a weird thing with car culture is that like there's a lot of folks that will drive like older cars from like you know drive like a 1960 MG one of those little things and you'll drive those but you won't respect a Miata like people don't like Miata doesn't get any respect it's Japanese it's but it's a really competent little car my buddy had a Miata and we in college they're great cars they were great cars but they were perceived as chick cars yeah it's a chick car it's like a Boxster the Porsche Boxster Porsche has a new boxer that really is so goodlook it'll slay the idea that it's a chick car this new boxer is so dope really oh it looks so killer yeah Porsche's design teams they they just make things that you lost for you look at him you just go oh [ __ ] I would I would rather I think i' would rather if I had to get like a sports car I I I got the given the the uh Corvette [ __ ] turbo whatever the Beast Corvette for like uh for like a week they gave it to me and I drove that thing around and I [ __ ] loved it I loved it cuz everyone looks at you it's like having a big dick in a locker room you like that [ __ ] everyone looks at you that kind of attention though man the machine that's rid you don't need that [ __ ] badass I'm
thinking about getting one I'm thinking about getting a red one with black wheels are you serious I don't give a [ __ ] son do not get a red car get a [ __ ] that's why I want to get a red car because they're so stupid I've never had a red car I've never reason why they're stupid though why why are they so stupid because it's like hey look at me is that what it is I think it looks ridiculous no I like red I wanted a red car always my dad it's looks very manly it's very ridiculous I just feel like it's such a stupid [ __ ] thing to get in the first place to get one of those crazy what the [ __ ] do you need a Corvette like that for you know they're not yeah and you can't drive them it's they're really hard to drive in LA because the you know the spoiler in the front yeah bottoms out all bottoms out all so like I was like I could never cross uh cross Third Street yeah you could I I have a GT3 which is even lower than that believe it or not I drive that thing everywhere yeah but you got to like cut you got to really I just deal with it I listen to you get pulled over all the time by the Cary scratch and I keep going huh red cars get pulled over the most by cops also do they yeah I bet they would because it's like mostly douchebags driving red cars because it's such an it's such a thing it's you have to not be thinking about anyone else feelings at all you have to be if you're driving around a red car you're like look at me [ __ ] look at me you're not thinking of like what someone else is going to feel if they're looking at you it's a totally selfish color you know because it's it's it's like you just want it yeah oh you know want to yell it out like black is subtle you know white is understated you white is nice you don't have to wash it as much that's ridiculous go to the car wash no you don't black cars black cars are covered in dust the second in LA but a white Corvette just I'm sorry does not look as good as a black or a red one I get a black Corvette or a red you you're in the middle of the road with a white one yeah you're not really fully committed to being an [ __ ] I think if you have a red Corvette you're fully committed to IM embracing the only you're like almost like selfish need for the Lusty Lusty color of a car you know Lusty red you bright shiny I don't know not really
probably not really Porsche is a smarter car it's more and it's not I don't need a car any faster than the car I have I don't drive fast anyway I don't I don't even like to drive fast what I like is cars that handle well I don't like to do anything like stupid on the roads I've been doing a lot of stupid [ __ ] with this turbo I was like I think it was like if you go I think if you back 20 podcast I say you know like I say the same thing like I never go fast I don't need a fast car once you have a car that can go fast you find a lot more holes that you can fit in yeah well and you can it's the the ability to do it where it's they're so composed you like that Volkswagen that he has okay if you compare that that car would beat around a track any power muscle car from the 60s he took like some regular 1969 Camaro with stock equipment one of those badass Camaros and raced it around the nurburg ring you would dust that thing it wouldn't even be close dude the paddle shifting is my new favorite thing it's like playing a video game you that is the worst way to be driving a car when you're high is thinking you're playing a video game right don't think that it's like a video game try not to think that we did we drove uh Lamborghinis and Ferraris their the car they loved the people that worked there Lov the most was the Camaro they they had a Camaro there they'd take you out like on your first lap in a Camaro and they're like is the best car they're like I mean I mean obviously a $600,000 Lamborghini is a great car but they [ __ ] love this Camaro and they drove it it's also an American car in the middle of Mexico so it is exotic to these guys they're all Mexican so they love Mexicans make their own cars they have a new one Mexican Mexico is coming out with a new um like really expensive like Lamborghini type equivalent really yeah and this this the place we were at is getting one they're like one one of the first ones coming out of the line they're getting what about uh Canada do they make their own cars that's a good question I don't think they do maybe they've made a couple You' think they would cuz they're right next to Detroit aren't they yeah but maybe they see what kind of douchebags build cars they're like let's just buy their [ __ ] stay out of their business stay out of their
creepy business they're like a they're like a they're like they're like uh Duncan when he used to live with you he was like why buy weed Joe's got weed right here did you have you seen the new Camaro ZL1 that's coming out no oh my God it's a it's a new one with uh Corvette engine in it so it's like I think it's 500 500 plus horsepower I think like 540 or 550 or something like that ridiculously fast handles awesome looks [ __ ] spectacular it looks like a proper American muscle car and this one the ZL1 is going to be ridiculous Adam Ferrara just got one and he uh he drove it around and he said he would show up he goes I would show up you know Adam's got that that Long Island accent like I would show up my [ __ ] heart's racing I'm just F I just went through something the [ __ ] car is ridiculous man you're not supposed to have that kind you got a rocket under your dick what the [ __ ] are you riding around in is he really a car cars he loves cars this is the color you should get yeah he's great on the show chameleon paint have you heard of chameleon paint oh that's the most ridiculous [ __ ] heard of it wait wait wait it changes when you turn Corners it has like a million different colors and it changes depending on the light somebody posted on miffin 23 posted on the get the one get the a if you want to let everyone know that you're Puerto Rican don't get the one that Bieber has the one Bieber has with mirrors seen [ __ ] up can you imagine can you imagine driving coping Justin but I met him he very nice guy I showed you the Mirror card you his car that's all made out of mirrors yeah he did or it's aluminum or yeah I actually enjoyed meeting him very he's a UFC fan he likes boxing oh you met him in La we met him in the UFC came by and said hi very nice kid very friendly kid they kiss you on the cheek or the lips neither one shook hands shook hands like men I met Robin Williams and I didn't know I met Rob Williams yeah this is crazy crazy I did a show at the Improv Friday night and uh afterwards me and Joey are hanging out and you know the upper area where you can eat we were uh hanging out and taking pictures so there's a line to get up there to take pictures so This Guy's in the line he gets up to me and he's he's talking to
me complimenting me saying these nice things about the show said it was fearless and all it was really he was very complimentary and I was really thankful I was like wow thank you thank you very much and then I realized holy [ __ ] you're Robin Williams Wait you realize in the middle of in the middle of him say talking to me I didn't know it was Robin Williams he had a beard he had a white beard on he had glasses on and a baseball hat he just looked like some old dude he just looked like some dude yeah just just some guy with a beard but he was very nice but his voice threw me off and then I I realiz cuz he was being kind of softspoken you know there was a lot of people around and he was trying to fly into the radar and then all of a sudden I'm like holy [ __ ] I'm talking to Robin Williams Wait did he came that how crazy is that that he came down to meet you it was awesome when you know I've only had a couple times where something like that has happened where it really kind of freaked me out one of them is Jean Simmons came to our new year show really yeah and uh he's a dick he was a great [ __ ] hate him he was bad to you oh he's a [ __ ] [ __ ] to me really really bad like like top top 10 top five worst experiences with a celebrity holy [ __ ] what happened we were doing the X show uh and we we were going to interview him and I was like I told the producers I was like I [ __ ] am the biggest kiss fan I was I grew up like any Halloween from the first 10 years of my life I was one of the [ __ ] guys from Kiss [ __ ] talent show I dressed up in my mom's leotard her gayest belt possible two bike chains and a kiss thing and just jammed out to a party all night long just and for [ __ ] 3 minutes just jammed out like air guitar it [ __ ] loved Kiss literally loved Kiss and and so then we I tell them that and they go great we'll set up the interview there's going to be a [ __ ] Cakewalk the only other time I did that to the the show was when slash was there so I was like I love [ __ ] slash and I got along great with Slash we ended up drinking in my [ __ ] Whatchamacallit so so then uh so he shows up drinking in my [ __ ] watch car in my green room my green room so uh my dressing room so [ __ ] Jean Sim shows up and I'm and I I I go up to he's in the room I got to
the pre- interview so I go to his dressing room and I knock on the door and they open it I said um M Simmons my name is Bert I'm the host of the show I'll be doing the interview and he just puts his finger in front of my face and he goes no and I went what and he goes not now and he shut the door in my face I went okay I go clearly it's it's early in the morning maybe he's not a morning guy that's fine I'm going to give him his time to have his coffee or whatever and then before I go out on stage I'll do my pre-interview while he's going through makeup so uh he's in getting doing his makeup and I come in and it's now it's like 8:00 in the morning come in and I go Mr Simmons my name is bird I'll be doing the interview and he goes didn't I tell you not to speak and I went okay and then he looked at someone he goes is he interviewing me I don't want him to interview me and I went oh [ __ ] like what did I do so then I leave and then Mark Cronin comes in and he goes listen Jean doesn't want a guy to interview him he wants um Daphne the good girl he wants dapan to interview him I go dafne doesn't know [ __ ] about kiss I go this is my hero I can't be on he goes he goes I'll tell you what I will let you you can be on the couch and you can just kind of hang out in the interview and you can jump in as much as possible but Daphne's going to run the interview Gan would rather Daphne run it I went okay so I go out I sit on the couch I don't say a word now I'm being respectful I'm like all right clearly he whatever it is maybe at the end I can just tell him what a big fan of Kiss I am so I sit on the couch dapan does the interview I jump in here and there it's totally comfortable totally cool we cut for commercial and everyone that works on the show has headsets on so and we're miked we can hear everyone and and Daphne says you know Jean um the reason Bert's out here is he was the biggest kiss fan growing up and Jean goes really and she goes yeah he dressed his Jean s he dressed his you for Halloween he and she and I go yeah as a matter of fact and he looks at me he goes shut up I'm talking to her and I went but you're talking about me and he goes I'm turn around turn around and I went now now I I go to turn around and I see everyone that's working on the floor of the X show literally turn cuz they're all
headsets in they turn and look as I'm turning around they're like oh my God so I turn around and dapne is just like appalled and then all of a sudden Cronin comes out of the out of the room and he goes you know what we don't I think we got it all in the first one and Jean's like I need to talk about my doll that I'm selling he's like yeah we we'll bring it up later and he goes but I have a lot of products I'm trying to sell he's like we got it thank you Mr Simmons and jeene gets up and leaves and I was like what a [ __ ] [ __ ] wow wow what and I [ __ ] to the day I die I will [ __ ] slam his name I've never been treated worse and I've never treated anyone even an eighth I'm not now granted I'm not jeene Simmons I don't get hassled all the [ __ ] time by every Rock fan ever but like Jim Norton had a horrible story with him when he first met him he did yeah Jim had a horrible story Craig gas has a horrible everyone has a horrible story and then if you can help him like obviously Opie and Anthony is a huge show and Jean realized that he needed to have little Jimmy on his I don't know what it is but Jimmy now had a good experience with him and they're friends so but I [ __ ] hated that guy wow that sucks to hear that it sucks cuz I was like such a big fan you know you meet slash and slash is literally like the coolest [ __ ] guy sit down on the couch I go hey man how you doing he goes not good my wife kicked me out last night I'm like really and he goes yeah and I was like and he was like and I just hear those words and I'm like oh if I heard that from slash I'd be like dude we're drinking I said I said to him I go I got booze in my green room and he goes stands up let's go we walk right in my green room with two x show glasses and start drinking that's awesome and then he says and then he gets done this show this is slash he goes he goes uh looks at me and he's like um what um what's uh what's your schedule for the rest of the day and I'm like and I had that girl remember that girl I did it with s py she was there and I was like nothing go cuz I could have fly to Europe in a few hours but I wouldn't mind having another drink so we go to my green room just keep drinking until his carp takes him I was like what a [ __ ] great dude that's hilarious oh let me
tell you what sucks man my poisonous snakes at an earthquake you know like just a [ __ ] he's an awesome [ __ ] guy and then you cut to Jean Simmons like Joe Montana amazing [ __ ] do you remember um uh who was the N Nigerian Nightmare um he was a football player I don't know anything this is my favorite the guy's name if you type in the Nigerian Nightmare Brian you'll come up with his name he was [ __ ] beast they took him out of Africa put him in the backfield for the Chiefs and he was nice too and he was a monster right so I but he didn't his English was Christian okoi aoya AOA he he's he's huge he's like [ __ ] 66 350 so I tell him I go uh Jes so we do the interview and everyone wants to take pictures and and I go oh I want one too but I want one with just me and you shirtless in my green room and so everyone laughs and he doesn't laugh he doesn't get it he's like oh and I was like okay so everyone laughs we leave I'm walking to my room all a sudden he's behind me and he goes let's take picture of now shirtless in your green room and I was like I go oh I'm kidding and then he goes I got you funny boy I was like I thought I was getting [ __ ] ass raped can you imagine how long do you think you could fight him off 350 you wouldn't fight him off at all just let it happen yeah be like let me just blow you Turtle up just Turtle up I was asking the audiences this week what would you rather okay finish in your mouth bro what would you rather okay this is my genius bit of material I was working on this week suck a dude's dick oh God for 15 minutes like the whole time up until Climax and then you get to pass it off or be the dude that sucks it for that 15 seconds and just take a load in the mouth you know we just landed on Mars you know we just landed on Mars B we just have a wait wait what was the Mars rover flew through [ __ ] space for eight months landed on Mars like whatever that's fake Joe suck the dick or take the load Brian suck the dick or take it suck the dick all the way up to the climax then you can pass it off so you got to start it off and then or just par is that a real question real question when Brian is asking you if something's real that's how dumb this is no I mean you obviously would want to
get your dick sucked instead of doing the sucking that's not in the game Brian that's not what he said Brian you're not even paying attention I you think I'm asking to suck your day it's so hot in here Brian is barely here it is not hot in here dude is it hot the air conditioning's on blown I'm still sick so might all right change the subject Brody step show is [ __ ] amazing yes is it it is so [ __ ] good it is on HBO Go and I literally it is so good that I watch the pilot pilot ends like the first one ends and I'm hooked and I realized at that moment I'm watching every single single one of and so why is everyone on the show think he's gay is that the the word lot of people think he's gay it's just out there it's like I think his mom said questions his sexuality and and and he says you know I'm in chck I me chicks and at one point he's in his room like talking to the camera and he pulls out a Playboy he goes see look I have a Playboy this is what I like so I believe it I mean I don't I never thought he was gay I have always thought that whenever someone has to like really try to convince you that they're not gay they're probably gay I don't I don't I think if you're getting it called by your mom and your sister you're just tired of [ __ ] like look I'm not g I think his mom thinks he's straight but his sister thinks he's gay but he doesn't talk to his sister why does his sister think he's gay because he doesn't have a girlfriend she I don't know she bullies him it's [ __ ] so good Joe Joe you watch the first episode bullies him yeah it's amazing it's on it's on HBO Go and it's on HBO on demand and it's everyone I mean everyone loves it and everyone watches all six episodes in a row you're hooked like [ __ ] lost in the first it needs to be longer the beginning one is is introducing you to Brody Stevens pretty much and it's everything you love about bro everything you love and it's Zach explaining why bro is so funny what we like about him SAR Sil and then it ends with his mental breakdown wow and and then the next one is documenting the mental breakdown like Sarah Zach voicemails that he left Z I mean [ __ ] and then you're going and then you're like where the [ __ ] is this going to go from here like and then it's him coming out of the Whatchamacallit and then it's him going through therapy
and like like really kind of get trying to get out and get get some success and and get out and like and deal with whatever issues he had in the past it is so [ __ ] good and here's what it really is too it's a great representation of Brody cuz he's hilarious but he's also very vulnerable he's very honest it's so the best introduction to Brody in the world if you did not know who Brody was and you watched that you are now a brody fan it's it's it's that good and it what is it called it's called enjoy it Brody Stevens enjoy it if you watch the first two minutes you will [ __ ] you go I got to watch the whole thing and you can you can get like a bunch of them right six episodes six of them so you so HBO is kind of testing this out and hopefully it does great because how long are they uh 16 minutes each something like that perfect it's so good have you seen Jerry Seinfeld's thing uhans uh in Cars Getting Coffee really interesting man it was him and Larry David and it was fun like seeing these two brilliant guys that have accomplished like this incredible task creating Seinfeld that that sitcom ping around together in this old Volkswagen like many many years later it was really cool yeah it was really cool just to have them talk and they're talking about cars and Seinfeld's talking about the kind of cars that he likes to drive I think different cars every time cuz well he collects cars oh that's awes Seinfeld has a fck of car I know where his car collection is sh don't tell anybody he do call creepy Brian kidnap you T next to it someone's going to kidnap you and torture you just so you give up the the location oh where did you see this um it's online it's I think it's called comedians incars getting coffee.com he has Colin Quinn on what a great idea I did uh the uh Laugh Factory podcast yesterday with Don marera and um and and Jamie Masada the owner of the Laugh Factory and uh I said that I that's when I didn't like Jerry Seinfeld which is really there was a moment in time where I was slightly upset at him just for a half a second but when I say something like that on the podcast it's really ridiculous because the only reason why I was upset was when Kramer got busted and then when they were on Letterman and Kramer you know called in be a satellite
and was sitting there and people were laughing at some of the things he said and and Jerry goes stop it it's not funny I was like oh come on man that's ridiculous I saw I got upset at him for a brief second I said I said that but he's him protecting his friend you know yeah yeah of course of course I understand he's uptight he mean look the guy doesn't ever talk about sex ever if you watch any of his standup it's there's nothing sexual there's not you don't get to know him he's what he is is like a master joke teller he's like a master comedian he can essentially he could take any subject and put it through his his professional mind and find the best way to get the funny in it it's uh that kind of funny is that doesn't appreciate like the kind of like if Stan Hope was there and if it was Stan Hope's friend that had done that on television he would be laughing with the crowd he would be laughing his face would be red I could see him I could see him just you know talking you know ad nauseum about the subject but to Jerry Seinfeld he could not see the the humor in the chaos yeah and I think that's silly chaos is there's more humor in chaos in this country than there is in anything else I've gotten nervous on stage as of late because of the um onset of technology and people recording and people just posting and recording and recording they're just going to do that you just got to accept that I I ask people if you come to my shows please don't put it up on YouTube for a bunch of reasons one because uh I'm working on this stuff it's all I'm always working on [ __ ] I don't want it to be like if it's going to be out on a DVD I want it to be the right stuff I want it to be done there it is so while you're you know capturing that and then putting it up you're kind of [ __ ] up my process a little bit Chris Rock said he's going to stop going on stage until they figured out oh well good luck that's silly I would never do that he was saying he was saying I think he's not he's being fa it was an article I read online but he's he was saying he was like you know it really sucks because when people tape it and put it up then that's the the representation that the world gets to see and he goes the evolution of the joke you know black black people versus nword he goes the
evolution of that joke was horrible and there's a lot of times where it just didn't look right oh yeah and he goes and then I got it to the place where it worked and even still it's like it's like uh you know once you even get it to what it works it's not until another six months later that you figure out the the right tag you know and it's like that's the thing that sucks is like [ __ ] you know you trying to write a joke and then people videotape and put it up and you're like I wasn't [ __ ] done yeah and it's also that people can know what your material is before they come to your shows they'll know like all the stuff that you're going to do because they saw last week's show on Calgary or wherever it was yeah it's uh but you know what man that's just a part of life this is the new world we live in all I can do is just do my best try to write as much as possible perform a lot stay sharp keep coming up with new [ __ ] keep going out there and and going at it you know all that other stuff is just whatever it is you can't stop it you know you got to when it comes to technology and things like you know when it comes to uh people filming your art you know that you're doing in front of a large group of people and in front of a an audience there people that are going to want to film it it's just that's what they want to do it's part of life I wonder why they want to film it cuz it's they're enjoying it they're a big Berke Cher fan they come to see you man they're all excited you know if I go to see somebody man I I'll [ __ ] think about about filming it if I went to see like a really good comic if da Chappelle was doing a set and I and Brian was there and they let Brian put up his camera I'm like yeah get a copy of that I would love to see that I love comedy man yeah I love comedy I like I like bootleg you know recordings of uh of bands sometimes too I have the first set that Chappelle did on uh when he came back from being crazy in Africa and stuff oh really yeah he did it at The Comedy Store I got a oh you should put that online that's so [ __ ] crazy that that I automatically was like I want to see that I'm like an [ __ ] going da Chelle fight you in the ring I heard oh did you read that that's from 2008 he is yeah he never really said that anyway so
somebody just made it up but he is working out but he still smokes cigarettes it's sad you know he's such a smart guy unlike Brian Brian enjoys him just with strep throat he's in there puffing away I didn't have anyone that was on strep throat I had one recently because I was like damn I miss the beauty of cigarettes the beauty of you would quit yeah technically I smoke four days yeah so you made through the hard part and you went right back to [ __ ] it's an amazing thing it's like why do you not want to watch HD TV again what cigarettes are that good to you great they're awesome cigarettes coffee [ __ ] how are cigarettes good for you what does it do for you it just it's just it tastes good it's relaxing it's it it just takes you down a notch when you need to think about something you light a cigarette up and it just kind of puts you in this like little Zone do you know why nicoe every yeah not even that just the other stuff but every time you smoke a cigarette there's like a slow countdown before you need another one before your system needs that that fix and when it doesn't have that fix and you get all antsy and that antsiness just probably doesn't even manifest itself like really obviously in your everyday life you're just a little bit more tense just a little bit weirder a little bit whatever and you're like man I need a [ __ ] cigarette and so then whatever happens you get some [ __ ] [ __ ] you know you step out of the office for a second and then you hit it everybody has that antsy [ __ ] and you're like you just do certain things wow that's that's just relaxed me no it gave you a fix you're a junkie yeah some people do that take that fix in food some people take that fix in alcohol some people take that fix in playing pool some people you know you have that antsy [ __ ] people don't think that playing I'm saying boss you mind if I hit the pool hole real quick go play some balls ridiculous arguments I've ever heard but the oh my God it is not hot in here for you guys not at all I am drenching the AC's on man it's coming out of there all right let me see your armpit oh I sweat naturally yeah I'm a sweater both you [ __ ] could use to sweat it off a little bit it's a bad for I've been sweating for 4 days i' I'm the most detoxed person right now what is it
about this the cigarettes that keeps you from I mean you know it's bad for you what is it about it that is it just you just may weigh the risks versus the reward and they you're like [ __ ] it I'll I like the whole thing man I like going out to have a cigarette talking to the people outside I like eating a good meal just after that you have a [ __ ] cigarette and just it's it just it's like a perfect mint to a dinner I I you know with alcohol forget about it that's just like it's ridiculous how great cigarettes are with alcohol it's like a good pairing with everything and yeah I I understand it's [ __ ] horrible yeah I'm going to get [ __ ] butthole cancer of the lungs but like I don't care like like I I know I need to quit I know I need to quit but I'm not in a huge rush to quit you know if I told you that all of the stuff that you just said you loved that you could erase that and never know like never have smoked never have smoked ever okay would you do it or would you still go [ __ ] it I still I would not believe that there's a thing like that because you can't erase the [ __ ] whole no I tell you right now I smoked and I do not HP no I I smoked and I don't smoke and I have no want for it whatsoever and none no it's been a long very long time that I've not smoked a cigarette but like I'm saying is you will quit and then one at soon you will all that [ __ ] you love will just disappear and you'll go ah it's funny I don't miss them like I don't miss them at all so you don't ever ever think like oh man that cigarette actually smells really good right now never do I think a cigarette smells good really no no one thinks a cigarette smells good except the person with it in their mouth I I love the smell of a cigarette goes up and down because I swear when Brian didn't smoke cigarettes he had a completely different tune he would tell you how horrible they were and how the smell of it makes him sick now and he can't believe he was ever so stupid that he smoked and he feels so much better and he can think better it's like it's not I have this constant worry about when the next cigarette is coming it's like owning an Android device and bragging about it yes I I understand that's what you used to be like you used to be like that and then you got back to cigarettes now you're like cigarettes
are the most awesome thing in the world world they make I'll tell you what the only the only thing is they make a long car ride doable oh rid you know what makes a long car ride doable this [ __ ] right here podcasting oh [ __ ] yeah this is design that's why we don't do them live folks people go you guys have a live podcast you know how annoying that would be if we were live in your car in a giant Comedy Club those things are live the only way the only way a live podcaster would be cool is if the live part was interactive Don Baris did it right Don Baris did a live podcast successfully on his big 10 or big three podcast he did it in front of the studio audience he did two episodes it was D's more like he puts on a show though oh it was beautiful yeah he's it's more his isn't like a standard podcast like the way we would have like if we did this in front of a live audience it probably wouldn't be the best but but what I was thinking is I think what would be a great idea though is to have an interactive one have like a question and answer sort of a podcast that would be easy to do and people enjoy that yeah and people we could put that online and and people would enjoy that and that would be actually a fun thing and if we did it on a night at a comedy club we could do some standup too you know we could all go do a set first I'll do like a short set you know maybe everybody does like 15 20 minutes so the first hour of it plus is just comedy yeah and then we'll do a little Q&A where all of us get on like like we did at the end of my comedy special in Atlanta everybody came on stage in Atlanta Joey was up there really yeah yeah and we all um Duna was up there we all talked to the audience and the audience got to uh ask us questions what kind of questions do they ask do they ask like where you get them DMT man DMT man it's a lot of the questions are silly one of them was a guy a guy who uh wanted to challenge me about the moon landing who would win Brock versus a flotation tank by the way ladies and gentlemen did you see the the the Rover yeah that was really sweet actually I don't not believe that we went to the moon people are confused on my stance I've altered it several times so there is some confusion my current stance is I don't I do not
believe that we didn't go to the moon and I'm not convinced that we went that's what I think I'm not hold on say that again so I would never say we didn't go okay cuz I don't know if we went but I'm not convinced we went I'm not 100% convinced it sounds so stupid I know it sounds stupid but I think it might have been possible it's more interesting that you don't believe it though like because you do that with almost everything you want to believe the opposite like you're re I want to uh no I want to be honest like when it comes to like Bigfoot and UFOs believe me dude nobody wants to believe in Bigfoot or UFOs More Than Me Nobody Does but I look at it and I go I am not buying it I'm not buying it I'm not buy especially not buying UFOs I just look at it I look at the people that are talking about it and I go I think there's some [ __ ] of foot I think that there's a lot of people to seeing government aircrafts that they don't understand a lot of stealth technology a lot of new drones and all kinds of [ __ ] that the government's been working on forever I think a lot of it is that do I rule out the possibility that somewhere someone in our past has seen a spaceship From Another Dimension or another world no definitely not but there's too many sightings I'm not buying it I don't I think most of it is crazy people you know if you a certain amount of any story you hear from people any Fantastical story that just gets distributed through the internet or the news or whatever a huge percentage of that has got to be crazy people that want attention because it's so easy to get attention and if you're the type of person that wants to fake something what are you going to do you can make crop circles you can make a fake UFO photo well they believe for a long time the crop circles were real and then that one they did that video where the guy proved he could do it in the night the only problem with that the only problem with those crop circles is the ones that they can do they pale in comparison to some of the ones that are unexplained yeah the the the kickass people don't want to talk to not just that there's something that happens to the um the nodes of the plant they explode out like with chemical it looks like a microwave they actually what I was going to say is
there was a show where they uh some kids from MIT I believe it's from MIT MIT or Harvard uh recreated all of the situations that happen inside of a crop circle they did it inside of 4 hours they did it at night they did it with night vision they put together a pretty it wasn't the most complex but it was a pretty cool one it was a cool crop Circle that mimicked the uh one of their science buildings on their campus and um they actually figured out a way to uh there's little iron fragments like almost microscopic like balls of iron melted iron that people have found inside the crop circles they recreated that and yeah they they looked at that and they said well maybe this is evidence that some sort of a massive microwave technology was being used and it cooked the ground and the iron in the ground was tur into these hot little metal beads there was like that was or there was some sort of a reaction to that was one of the thoughts and maybe they they they connected that to the growth nodes to the fact that these uh these nodes had explode but these kids these students were able to recreate all of the um the different characteristics they were they made the growth nodes they had a microwave thing that they would blast he was wearing like a crazy radiation suit and [ __ ] it was pretty nuts with a long extension core attached to a generator and they're microwaving all the the wheat and then when they microwav the wheat some of it popped and blew out just like those growth nodes really so they recreated that they um they had this like this fire uh gun that they would spray this um this uh carbon into and it were like trying to make uh these little iron you know melted iron iron pellets and uh they recreated it they recreated these iron like I think it was like iron ore or something like that I forget what it was the there was there were shooting through this uh this blast of fire and then they eventually did it with a bomb they they put the iron ore in a bomb bomb and they blew a bomb up Sky High in the middle of the field all these are ridiculous because that's not how the people who did it could have done it because otherwise people going to see this [ __ ] torch in the middle of their field they're going to hear the bomb go off in the middle of their field so it doesn't
explain it well enough for it to be reasonable for the iron particles but the other thing was the expulsion the the explosion of these nodes and these plants they could only do it in a couple of plants whereas in these larger crop circles that are more complex it seems like it's it's much more much more prevalent so the real question is what how are they doing those things and there's a lot of people that believe and it might really be not a bad idea or not a bad thought is that this is just some technology that is not public that there's a way to make a geometric pattern in a field of wheat with some sort of a laser that's attached to a satellite that's in the sky and then it can shoot down and and cut into the ground like this this this thing that it can microwave these plants and flatten them out sounds ridiculous but so does the internet you know everything sounds ridiculous I had a guy from the CDC in my show in Atlanta what is the CDC Cent for Disease Control yeah and he was he had me convinced I'm telling you convinced that the government created aids to kill gays and blacks well he's an idiot convinced yeah that's ridiculous there's people that say that are are silly you know that is that is that is so silly the you think that the government is trying to kill off gays and black people well they're doing a real [ __ ] job of it okay gay people and black everywhere that's that's maybe it is true maybe it is true maybe that's why the government because the government [ __ ] up everything they [ __ ] up everything so and them trying to wipe out gays and blacks they've actually increased their numbers tenfold it's so stupid a horrible job yeah it's so stupid we're trying to kill off the poor people no poor people are dying because they're sick you crazy [ __ ] and you know the the standard for calling someone like the real problem with AIDS in Africa everyone's like AIDS Africa everyone has AIDS in Africa yeah but you know what you know what AIDS is AIDS means your [ __ ] immune system is crashed and there's a bunch of reasons for that and one of them is the lack of nutrition those people have but no a lot of it isn't man when you attach aids to the same like when you call it all the same thing it's not all
the same thing man that the AIDS the the crushing of the immune cells uh the immune system that these Africans are experiencing may or may not be HIV related but they're not testing them all for HIV when they come up with these statistics they're seeing people with AIDS they're seeing people are wasting away and they know what the [ __ ] is going on but I I guarantee you that a percentage of that has got to be Nutrition a large percentage I thought I that's crazy I thought it was I thought everyone just had AIDS like no it becom you see it becomes a social issue and it becomes something like if you want to donate money to AIDS research that is like you know that's like real that's real but if you want to donate money to there's these people that aren't eating and they're getting really sick oh they don't even have a disease I'm going to save my money for a disease you know it's all dise anything you know if you got [ __ ] bulimia that's a disease you're disease you're not at ease you're a [ __ ] mess you know and these poor people in Africa what you're dealing with is a bunch of different factors I'm sure some of them are getting HIV too and whether or not HIV even causes AIDS there's that Peter duberg guy who scares the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of you cuz he's a biologist at the University California Berkeley and look I'm a I have no understanding of biology diseases how they work how they you know retroviruses I don't understand any of that stuff right so when I listen to a guy like that talk and say that he doesn't believe that HIV even causes AIDS and he thinks that aids is a bunch of different ridiculous [ __ ] sounds like it is right that's just like you you're always when you were a kid did people lie to you a lot like oh yeah every single person lied to you right I'm really good at spotting Liars because I get lied to a lot yeah sure like dad was I was around a bunch of idiots I was around a bunch of crazy violent idiots when I was a little kid so I at an early age was forced to like look at everything for myself I couldn't trust that guy I thought he was cool I thought he was my dad until he started hitting my mom I couldn't trust that guy cuz even though it's my grandfather he was trying to [ __ ] my mom in front of me yeah I remember that when I was a little
kid like my mother was running away from my dad's dad cuz he was trying to grab her and he's trying to grab her [ __ ] front of me that's shit's been I was I was real little I was like four or five but it was one of those staining memories like where he's like chasing her around like a counter or something like that and I just it just creeped me the [ __ ] out man is your mom still alive yeah where do she live I don't want to tell people hey so I got I got something that I need to tell you guys you guys need to get this done my mom doesn't like me talking about her on the podcast really you need to get this private person you in middle talking about my mom dude I was changing it for you respect I was changing it for you love me to talk about her she' be like bring me up what do you want to say uh when I had my AIDS outbreak this weekend I when I was at the doctor and they put that thing in your ear to like look through make your ears I don't know why they need to see your ears but uh they they were like dude you're your ear wax is really bad I can't even see your eard drugs oh my God oh my God please tell me you're pulling up a video on the internet of of cleaning out ears no no no I just saw that the other day well he's just telling you he's about to tell you that he just did it uh so so they're like you know that's bad I'm like yeah I know I actually always have to try to clean my ears out with hydrogen peroxide I'm always doing the Q-tip thing and she's like no no that [ __ ] just pushes it in it does nothing that you need to come back here here pour this in your ears tonight and then pour it in this one in your ear in the morning and come back to me and like a day or two and I'm like okay and so I go home I pour this [ __ ] in my ear and then the next day I pour it in my other you know ear whatever and I go there and she puts this like what it was a like heavy duty water pick in my ear and she pushes in and at first you're like it doesn't hurt it kind of vibrates so it's kind of uncomfortable but it doesn't hurt and uh and you're holding up this like little jar next to your ear and then she goes oh my God that I've never seen that that came all out in one chunk and then I'm like what and I look at it and the water is brown and there's like a chunk of wax the size of like a half dollar and like
just amazing it was amazing your ear is a half dollars bigger than your head it it it was humongous and she said that my whole ear canal was filled with wax wow and and what happens is she's like there's two different kinds of ear ear wax there's ones that's kind of like a honey and there's one that's kind of like a prune and she's like you have the prune kind which like builds and builds and it stays kind of like a hard thing so you never even know it's there it just makes your ear canal I got to get the number of this lady well this is just a minute clinic in CVS which I don't know if you know what those are you went into CBS to get this done no no I I found this new so anyways I did my other ear it was twice as is bad anyways and now I have HD hearing like seriously two or three times better hearing than than I was there like wow people she's like people think like they have this thing after they get it done they where they call it like I have dog hearing now and I'm like that's what it feels like I feel like I I I've been like I didn't pop my ears for 10 years dude I got to get in on that so have you seen the videos yeah you know that's why they have certain sounds that they put uh around uh certain buildings that only kids can hear and it's like annoying to keep kids away right yeah there's a frequency that young kids can hear that we can't hear anymore really yeah I heard about that I heard about that there's a ringtone that you can get for your phone that does that frequency that only kids he so your parents can't hear when can't hear that you're getting text that's hilarious wow what is wait what did you interrupt or say because I had something to say about that what you were saying said very fast uh very fast what remember I was just saying the story and I was like oh wait very fast anyways the HD oh about your ear thing when you interrupted with the ear thing we're were talking about my mom no no I mean during my ear story Bert you said something right at the very end and it made me speed up the end but I wanted to get we lost [ __ ] marijuana definitely I definitely got in Minute Clinics I went to Minute Clinics did you know this CVS has these things you just go in you be like typ in your name this woman goes all right ready to
see you you come and be like hey I got strep throat she's let me check yeah you do here's your medicine uh prescription by shut up and you don't have to do any of the doctor [ __ ] anymore so I I I just just go to these minute minute a doctor who diagnoses it yeah well it's a it's a a a nurse or nurse practitioner I know what you're talking about yeah and so they they know enough for most things like most common colds strep throat whatever [ __ ] but so now I just go all the time because it's covered by Insurance also so and even if it wasn't it's only like $60 or $70 you just go there and be like I think I have strap and she' like you open your mouth she goes you probably do yeah you do and then you just go next door and drop off your prescription you're in and out in like an hour there's no wait do you know where they learned that from the oxycotton clinics in Florida right pain management yeah pain management a lot of [ __ ] money in pain management well there's a lot of money in prescribing all kinds of different medications anytime you can get a line of people that need some pills and you can sell them some pills you just have to have a doctor there it's willing to write scribble some [ __ ] on some paper and you're golden they that my buddy's doing that now uh they've created a group of doctors who do house calls but do house calls over the phone oh same and so you basically it's like it's like look the prescriptions are for antibiotics so listen I get a cold I know I need [ __ ] antibiotics can you just prescribe antibiotics you take antibiotics every time you get a cold no I don't I don't take anything good for you I'll don't take a [ __ ] thing that's how I test it's that old Mitch hedburg it's how i testif five AIDS see if I'm alive in five days I've gotten sick sick sick too I had to do it with strep but I but I usually don't either well I have had if uh I got the flu when I when I have had the flu I've taken medicine I take that uh T flu taking that stuff was it it's very good when you uh write right after you get uh the flu like within uh what are you doing sticking things to my forehead okay soaking up the sweat um but that tlu stuff's very effective if you catch it like really quick what do you guys talk about when you're not doing a podcast we
don't talk much we try not to talk he he called me the other day and I I wanted to tell him about this ear [ __ ] but we're like I can't stop like stop talking I was like what's the point of talking I was like we have to only talk about like the podcast that we just did like how that podcast yesterday yeah we'll talk that's what we talk about we'll talk about what went good what what didn't go so good Brian how did you not videotape them cleaning out your ear uh I I was thinking of it yeah it was really disgusting so they did they cleaned out your ear at CVS yeah I'm going I'll go tomorrow they have a little closet there not every CVS you have to have Minute Clinic but if you go to like minute clinic.com or whatever uh or CVS but they they have like a little room about the size of a little small office like and you just go in and they do it all right there it's super cheap super convenient I love itce people I got a clonic one time that thing was [ __ ] amazing speaking about uh Health okay I tried the bacon and eggs diet in the morning bacon eggs and coffee and I tried the kale Shake that's why he looks so ripped both and I'm back to the kale Shake really unfortunately the reality is that bacon and eggs when you you have the bacon and eggs and coffee breakfast that Rob Wolf the uh the guy who wrote The Paleo solutioned to try for a month though no is that what he said yeah try for a month and then let me know how you feel really I tried it for a little while it's the digestive uh juices it's it's a very different operation for a kale Shake than it is for bacon and eggs and the amount of energy I have like when I have a kale Shake I don't feel hungry but I have energy it's a very weird thing and I'm not it's not like I'm struggling to process the food that's in my body so it's super easy to process because it's already Vitamix down it's already Blended the [ __ ] up it does not taste that good it doesn't it tastes okay but for the health benefits I take that [ __ ] in the morning and I feel [ __ ] great and I've tried the other way I tried listen nobody likes [ __ ] bacon and eggs more than me I love it I like bacon and eggs with hot sauce that's what I like to do throw a little salt and pepper on them [ __ ] Sunnyside Up BS and give me some [ __ ]
hot sauce I'll eat the [ __ ] out of some bacon and eggs and I [ __ ] love bacon when he was talking about cooking bacon for two hours my dick got hard but the reality for me is that I find that I think you I I feel personally like I need some animal protein I try I've tried like to go vegan before I've tried to go just to for experimental purposes I I get I [ __ ] miss meat man I miss it especially after I lift weights or anything really strenuous my body wants some meat and uh I'm not really a big fan of cows you know I wish they were treated better you know I I would rather eat game i' would rather eat wild things that were were running around their whole life and then got blasted out of nowhere I think that's like the most Humane and the smartest way for us to approach it like I really think Ted nits got it nailed that guy lives on a [ __ ] giant Ranch and he kills animals every day he goes and he sits up in a tree stand and he waits and he shoots a [ __ ] deer with a bow and arrow and that's what they eat for dinner takes it home good he's got you know yeah he's got a whole [ __ ] setup out there I mean it's it's amazing and it's so good for you too you know it's so good for you but I'm when I look at like what makes me feel the healthiest um I've tried uh I've tried the bacon and eggs in the morning and although it's [ __ ] fantastic and delicious as [ __ ] I don't feel as good as when I uh when I have the kale shakes no wait what K shakes just give me more energy I'm not struggling to digest it there's a difference between the digestion feeling of the bacon and eggs by the way are pretty goddamn light you could chew some eggs down you could have like three sunny side up eggs with like very little butter and it really nothing you know it's like if you uh if you um poach them they're [ __ ] fantastic fantastic really really light what are you putting in your K shake that it tastes like [ __ ] mine tastes amazing but but like it's sperm no a little bit of that um I just put the standard ingredients celery cucumber kale and then I'm I'm always have garlic raw garlic and ginger and coconut oil Rob wolf says you should put coconut oil say it helps your body to absorb the nutrients and the calcium shakes when you add a little fat to it and coconut oil is a really healthy fat
to have anyway super good for you mine tastes like Juicy Fruit they're they're [ __ ] amazing what are you putting in there half a banana half a pear half an orange uh um kale mhm and a handful of grapes so yours more like a fruit smoothie fruit smoothie yes it definitely and and and I and I wonder cuz when I was drinking them I wasn't losing a ton of weight I was plateaued Hardcore that's a lot of calories I think it's a lot the bananas have a dick load of calories well also all that other stuff is it's got a lot of sugar in it you know and even though it's fruit sugar it's sugar natural sugar is from fruit it's better for you than standard sugar you know like you know processed sugar you still really shouldn't have that much probably all the time you know I think the your body aches for greens fruits are very good very important especially after training after training like fruits taste [ __ ] delicious oh you have a nice delicious pear after you the best you know Dono we were doing this show this TV show for Whatchamacallit for Comedy Central and Donell is like Donell grew up in the hood he's a respectful he wouldn't dress in gay [ __ ] cuz he was like Noah my boys will see that [ __ ] and I'll never L that [ __ ] down I'm not dressing like no gay I'm not you know that's Donell so Donell you get him in trouble Donell would say it on this podcast so Donell we're out in the middle of the desert doing a photo shoot for Comedy Central it's hot as [ __ ] we're all dusty and they bring out a huge bowl of watermelon and Donnell's just [ __ ] couldn't bring himself to eat the watermelon cuz he's like nah I'm not going to [ __ ] do that I'm not going to eat watermelon for a bunch of front of a bunch of white people that's so silly it was great so funny it's such a weird thing that watermelon thing watermelon and chicken are both delicious you imply that black people enjoy watermelon and chicken all a sudden you're a racist I'm implying you enjoy delicious foods two by the way maybe the best foods ever really good fried chicken is [ __ ] fantastic if you get like some like Rosco chicken and waffle Fried Chicken you go to rosos you go to rosos godamn rosos is good the waffles are [ __ ] even better than the Fri waffles are Sensational and the
[ __ ] chicken is perfect it's it's [ __ ] that's some good tasting food and watermelon when you're hot and thirsty is the most satisfying fruit ever how could anybody be upset that you're talking about them liking Chicken and Waffles chicken watermelon I don't I I don't know where that came in why that would be Everyone likes that [ __ ] they're it's weird you chickens at one point in time were a luxury item that's why like one of the presidents I think it was Roosevelt promised a chicken in every pot you know the chicken was the the more preferred animal was harder to get it was beef was more common the reason they fried it the reason is that it traveled well really if you fried it you could it would it could last oh really yeah that was why that was why the Fried Chicken was a big southern thing cuz you could travel with it how long will it last if you fry it uh I don't know I mean it it lasts forever if you put it in the fridge but I'm guessing more than one meal so this was uh they used to have to roll the dice with food back then right where they made food they probably were real careful with like leftovers and [ __ ] once we figured out leftovers it's really interesting because that's how sort of society was created if you stop and look first of all we figured out how to get all our [ __ ] and put it together we figured out Agriculture and we figured out how to get everything in one place we built cities you know and then you have resources and you have you know you have everything's all stockpiled up you know and then it gets to where if where we're at today it's like now we figured out a way to stockpile pretty much everything and even food in your house like you can eat it and cook it and then you store it away in the freezer so it's like you're stockpiling yeah you know and that that's something you couldn't do when you were just walking around outside trying to hunt for food every day just hard keeping vegetables yeah like vegetables think how quick vegetables go bad they never and and then they all ripe at once and you're like [ __ ] everyone let's start eating cucumbers yeah that's all you can do you got to eat them as quick as you can and then in the winter you're [ __ ] if if there's an apocalypse the you know the number one animal to get that'll
sustain you and your entire family what rabbit rabbits yeah I saw on this [ __ ] doomsday preparers you know you can starve from eating rabbits there's like a a type of uh a lack of fat to your diet you can uh you can literally starve you can you don't get enough nutrients yeah if uh if say if you like trap somewhere and all you had to eat was rabbits for like a month you might starve to death just eating just those rabbits well they said this guy said he said you could seems wrong it's crazy yeah well I'm pretty sure it's true this guy said they reproduce so quickly that within a year you your [ __ ] crop is huge well the thing is you would have to eat other things as well yeah rabbit starvation it's true death from rabbit starvation or the eating of other skinny meat who wrote that though bugs bun this no bro this is a [ __ ] Wikipedia with scientific uh statements I was really it was really uh it's a form of acute malnutrition caused by excess consumption of any lean meat coupled with lack of other sources of nutrients usually in combination with other stressors such as severe cold or dry environment so if it's a severely dry desert or really dry environment you can eat rabbits and starve to death that crazy suck dick yeah symptoms include diarrhea headache fatigue that's every day for Brian you're dying of rabbit poison son I hate to tell you this yeah isn't that amazing that's CRA you need fat your body needs fat it's very important we got real weird with all this lowfat this and lowfat that we we need fat there's a lot of like avocado there's like healthy fats you can get from plants if you're not into eating animals but you need some [ __ ] fat in your body you need to lube up those joints [ __ ] I just want protein and some vegetables that's my [ __ ] diet these days steak that's what's up that's what's up vegans you don't know I I'm down with all your food you you guys make some delicious nutritious and very healthy food however it can't [ __ ] with a ribeye you cannot [ __ ] with a ribeye over mosqu that M [ __ ] yeah son did we say bone in [ __ ] yeah son no better feeling than oh the smell what's wrong with you how could you run away from it [ __ ] a cow they would eat you they they would eat you if you were made out of
grass they would eat the [ __ ] [ __ ] out of you they don't care about you they're dumb as hell you should not torture them for sure absolutely I think that factory farming is rule I'd be much willing more willing to pay more for a a burger that comes from sustainable Farms where they're doing it organically and they you know humanely kill the cow when it comes time to do it I would much rather do that but cows are here to be eaten all right don't get crazy steak is goddamn delicious and if we didn't kill cows we're going to have to [ __ ] run around neutering them then we're going to have to figure out some way to stop them from [ __ ] we're goingon to have we're going to have a regular environment we're going to have to separate the bull from the cows and then what we just let those cows not breed and starve to death or do we manage this en or do do we let this animal go extinct because we're not going to eat it anymore because those are the options or mountain lions on the streets those are your options what's your options we bring [ __ ] tigers into North America there's a lot assh like would you really yeah cuz I think it would make people nicer look at Pasadena you see Pasadena there's more bears in Pasadena again again think about it they're swimming in everyone's pools now like all these bears are going cuz it's so hot in pastina they're going well they're coming down from Big Bear they're coming down from uh Lake Arrowhead and Big Bear yeah but this is like a weekly thing now and they pretty much just said yeah this is going to happen it's really hot time to go bear hunting in the backyard that's what I say any bear that's in my yard can suck my dick I'm going to shoot him okay I'm not calling conservation I have a I have a big how much trouble you think he get in trouble for killing a bear I don't give a [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] maybe I have to pay a fine that bear needs to be shot and killed do I really mean this l no I'd probably call I'm just around I would call Animal Control I I would like definitely bring my kids and say this is what a bear looks like and I would definitely have a gun on me you know in case thear tried to get into the house do you have a shotgun dude I got a lot of [ __ ] really don't [ __ ] with we shot machine
guns I know guns man I want to show shoot CR have you seen the videos of all the this by the way um in no way do we make light of any of the recent gun shooting tragedies that have been going on when you discuss guns I think that's sort of the elephant in the room you have to bring up all these different tragedies that are going on this seek Temple thing is so horrific man if you never met seeks before they are some of the nicest most peaceful people and they're saying that someone confused him some white supremacist dude confused them with Muslims and he was a you know an idiot and some 911 gu guy yeah a messed up he was a veteran he's probably you know P PTSD so anyway he goes in and shoots up this place but there's videos and this is where it gets really crazy of these people that are um from the temple who were talking to uh reporters and they're talking about multiple gunmen they said there were three other guys they kept saying there's three guys are serious yeah yeah yeah yeah I see that pull it up here I'll I'll tell you what the uh the video is Eddie Bravo uh tweeted it of course when Eddie Bravo tweets things you got to [Music] go.com his Cloud collection must be off the dud he knows when they're spraying so you say they're he knows when they're spraying knows when they're spraying poison the only reason I know about uh Chemtrails yeah he's he's a beautiful person he's I talk about Chemtrails all the time and people always like really and I go yeah yeah yeah and I never knew where it came from it's from Eddie Bravo he believes that [ __ ] man he believes it but it' be crazy if he was right um let me find this man give me a second so this guy was so stupid that he miss he con confused seeks with the terrorists I think so I think he just doesn't like how they look and it like like the turbin and the hair cuz I mean during these interviews like you could tell dumb people look at that be like those are terrorists people yeah D people do look at that and go oh yeah look at that but the that's [ __ ] ridiculous yeah that's the that's the standard story with this story is is much more Fantastical okay this is the this is the video go to seek Massacre s i k s
Massacre and then colon that's the two dots one on top of the other oh why would you do that I witness testimony I witness why don't you use two hands you silly [ __ ] I'm just going to Google this that's testimony contradicts official story well it's it's not ridiculous these people are saying and this is where it gets interesting it's because these people are saying that they were there and they saw more than one gunman and it could mean they were in absolute abject Terror and they hallucinated but the fact that so many of them hallucinated you know when you're in a period of an intense traumatic situation like that it is possible that one person could say that yeah but no one in the Colorado Massacre said anything more than yes they did yes they did did yeah they did yeah yeah that's it click on Al click on that my dad is out and at the hospital um and we're just relaying information back and forth I'm trying to get as much info uh as possible what many have you but learn from him about what transpired inside or from your mother so the most I can learn or the most I know as of now is that there are multiple Shooters there's multiple people um it was a a very well-coordinated thing it wasn't a halfhazard um and I think that's why uh police and everybody are taking uh the proper you know Pro protocol to get the situation under control not trying to jeopardize anything and describe what's happening currently but as far as your mother she was at the time that we spoke at one point hiding um did she give you any sense for how many people at that time at least were hiding um the the sense over there was when she started hiding in the closet she didn't know how many people were out there so she just kept saying they one of them that's the wrong one but this is what I want you to Google to YouTube is this one right here what no no that's not it just go to YouTube yeah there's all these videos I know but just go just trust me go to YouTube and get this video because this is a a really good one it's a great compilation but that right there had he said something very important in that video what' he say he said that uh there was multiple Shooters and my mom didn't know before she hid how many shooters there was so she made
to the conclusion that there was multiple Shooters after she hid okay I don't know what you're talking about but go pull this just pull this up C SI i k h Massacre Massacre m a SS a c and seek Massacre and eyewitness testimony testimony contradicts CTS CTS yeah that's it the second one down oh second one yeah that's it that's it that's it that's it that's it okay now listen to this because this is uh we now know this is the gunman who opened fire inside that sick Temple a military vet multiple Shooters and that they are uh Caucasian descent all right that just so you know that guy I just explained that's buit hold up stop it Brian that is not complete [ __ ] you are relaying a man's discussion that his mother said to him you don't know if it's total [ __ ] it's too much chain down the information he don't exactly know what he said though he said something very very important his mom had no idea how many shooters there was until after she hid so so she is hidden and she came to the conclusion there's multiple Shooters that's what he said but he's relaying what his mom said that Shick gets very fog he's on the phone with her he said he's but he's relaying what she said but you know unless you're talking to her and she says that you don't know why the [ __ ] she thought it there might be something else to the reason why she thought there was multiple Shooters there might be more than one reason they might have seen it later well this video is only focusing on just play this play this there multiple Shooters there's multiple people um it was a a very well-coordinated thing it wasn't a halfhazard for uh white males who were dressed Darkly uh Dressed in all black clothing came in and open fired on the uh on our congregation one of the gunmen is down so there's three left and my mom's hiding in the closet right now she's she's hypers scared and saying that the people are still in there I don't know how many some people went inside unidentified people went inside the people church and they did a bunch of shooting one of the wounded man said an unknown number of gunmen had walked into
the kitchen of the seik temple and opened fire a man who said his father had been wounded reported that there had been multiple gunmen we now know this is the gunman who opened fire inside that sick Temple a military vet uh you know what we are really seeing apparently is Lone Wolf terrorism and what we need to do is change the way in which people think about guns especially young people we need to do this every day of the week and just really brainwash people into thinking about guns in a vastly different way and just really brainwash people into thinking about guns in a vastly different way see that's why it's weird it wasn't just one guy that's why I was trying to tell you to let it play the one guy is relaying some [ __ ] from his mom the other people that saw it the other dude was in there it sounds like well yeah and the other woman was in there she saw more than one person everybody was saying it's more than one person does that mean there was more than one person no it doesn't because I'll tell you if you've ever been inside of any sort of a chaotic situation people lose their [ __ ] and a lot of times people don't know exactly what's going on they're on survival mode they're on fight ORF flight mode when adrenaline takes over people go into a tunnel and they don't know what the [ __ ] is going on and if you know one person starts saying there's more than one gunman you need just need one person to say it and then boom you'll you'll everybody will be repe he was also exmilitary is that what they said so that could be another thing if the these were all military guys and they grabbed the other three or you know what I mean it could be yeah who knows it might be some militia and they kidnapped the other three you know they're going to let them go because they have a [ __ ] cop somewhere who knows man you know I don't know if there's four people or just one person in there I you know I don't know if it was really just a uh but that's the sad thing is this these people died and if if it really was some sort of a white supremist group these people are the nicest people ever seeks seeks first of all they eat marijuana it's part of their religion yeah they have some like crazy yogurt dring they have some the [ __ ] they are
the [ __ ] will blow you through the [ __ ] Center of un thought if you just no they cook it they do it it's like a yogurt it's like a marijuana yogurt I mean they do it to get high it's yeah it's a part of their religion man awesome [ __ ] there I I run into a lot of seeks in Canada they come to a lot of shows especially in Toronto they are some of the nicest [ __ ] coolest people you'll ever meet but people are thrown off because we see a guy in a turban we assume Muslim we assume they hate us see love the Western Way AR even Muslim no they're not it's totally different they're very not only that they're really open about having their um they're I think they're a type of Buddhist wait a minute let's I think sea is the religion yeah what is it it's a a type of Indian seika is Si let's let's let's find out because I've met a lot of them and then they they seem to be some really nice people and so when I when I see this it's just a it's a it's a it's a monotheistic religion uh founded in the 15th century in the Punjab region continued progress with 10 successive seek gurus siks are expected to embody the qualities of a s SAA a saint Soldier one must have control over one's internal vices and be able to be constantly immersed in virtues clarified in the guru granth shahib the principal belief of the seek are faith in the wah Guru represented by the phase whoa is weird I don't even know what all these extra dotts are I'll try this itar meaning one God along with practice in which the seek is enjoined in to engage in social reform through the pursuit of justice for all human beings this sounds like the most beautiful religion ever very peaceful yeah seek Advocate Advocates the pursuit of Salvation in a social context through the Congressional P practice of meditation on the name and message of God the followers of seek or ordained to follow the teachings of the 10 seek gurus or enlightened leaders as well as the Holy Scripture entitled The the GU grand sarib grand sahib G which along with the writings of the six SEC this is getting a little wordy I I think we figured out the the conspiracy though they're all [ __ ] high on marijuana and they're seeing multiple people I'll tell you what I'll tell you that's actually a good point that's a very good
point if they were in the they they're actually high on the in their ceremony yeah I wonder that makes 100% when I was a kid we uh me and my buddy and his mom took a boat across our lake to go watch a party right and he I have to leave yeah I guess I have to leave soon and uh these kids started throwing oranges at us it was like the most traumatic thing that ever happened to me that at that time cuz it was a m night more than jeene Simmons or less than jeene Simmons it was before jeene Simmons do you think jeene Simmons going to reach out to you after this [ __ ] him let him try what year was this he was nice to me when I met him tce I'm sure he was nice to what year was this uh 2000 2000 2000 yeah maybe he changed in the last 12 years would you give him in a break I'll yeah I'll tell you what I'll tell you what je if you'd like to come to my show I'm not going to I won't have any would you have him in your man cave and do a podcast with him yeah who oh a [ __ ] heart do that for his reality show it' be a good episode the guy got a facelift on TV as well yeah got a fresh face in his rider everyone's got [ __ ] in their Rider uh and his rider he has to come in and see the lighting before the day before so he came over to the studio the day before and checked the light and had his own lighting guy come in and redo the lighting wow yeah why would you care about the lighting cuz his hair I think so he wants to make sure it's not it's not dropping down yeah dropping right down on his hair so it's super soft everyone looked good in that episode I'll be super soft do you know why they do Riders why the the concept of a rider is there why initially so like so like uh was it was it Guns and Roses or Van Halen had the ridiculous Rider where they had only brown M&M's they wanted M&M's in the thing but it's only Brown which band was it uh I don't [ __ ] know Joe come on don't pick me [Laughter] apart so but the reason they did it is cuz they had a bunch of pyot Technics so the idea was if they're not paying attention to the smallest thing then they're not paying attention to anything oh so that's why they put ridiculous things in riters so that the the artist knew all right this is a top-notch show so that was the whole concept of riders
I thought that was fascinating that is fascinating I think it's more like they're spoiled [ __ ] and they want [ __ ] Brown some people do some people are some do you have anything in your Rider no like I think they have to bring water no Heinekens water a bottle of red wine bottle of red wine Throat Coat honey Throat Coat Honey coffee um this went from nothing index cards index cards are you serious Sharpies Sharpies yeah you're right that's exactly really and turkey or any kind of mixed Meats got to have some meat yeah are you and fruit we got a fruit for too [ __ ] I have nothing in my rider got get a rider son you know when it's important it's important when you rolling with Joey [ __ ] Diaz and he gets hungry and if you don't ever want Joey hungry you want to have some food around for him to make a quick sandwich so if Joey can slap a [ __ ] he'll be right about to go on stage and he's got a [ __ ] ham look at what we got here we got some [ __ ] cheese dude he is the most requested comic when I go on the road he's an animal they're like when Joy Diaz comeing here and I'm like I have no [ __ ] idea I don't book his dates I I uh played this for everybody the video of him I'll play it for you after the podcast I've already played it on the podcast before of him going on stage in New York and it's like a minute and a half of people screaming before he goes on stage it's in what the what this podcast is taking things to the next level every time I go on stage it's the machine death squad and you're like but Joey is but Joey is the embodiment I was saying this to Brian Joey has is like uh is like the thing you can't get like you can't get it in your hometown so when it does come to your hometown you're like [ __ ] that's out that came out today I'll tell you what Joey is Joey's the party yeah Joey's the party that's why I bring Joey Joey there's not a single special that I've done since 1999 that doesn't have Joey in it Joey always introduces me Joey always comes with me to the shows Joey always cuz when I'm with Joey I'm having fun Joey's the he's the life of the party like always this one I'm so bummed out that my Canadian friends can't meet Joey that we can't bring Joey to Canada but Joey can't get into Canada he's getting that he's the middle he's getting that fix the [ __ ] out of here he
ain't going to dude they Ain letting a dude who was in jail for armed kidnapping in that's my favorite part of explaining Joey when a club Booker goes so what what is he what's he like and I go he's hard to explain and they go well what is he doing before stand up I was like prison it's it's just when you meet a guy like that it's just you know you you want to do everything you can to let other people know about it that's how I feel when I met Joey and I was like this is such a a rare gem of a human I got to do everything I can to to spread this guy's name I want to go on the road with you and Joey one weekend okay I got I'm doing the Trip Flip thing we start in like a couple weeks yeah but uh and I so I got to cancel a bunch of dates but I still want to do standup I can't do a whole week so I'd love to [ __ ] do like a just one of your weekends well I do sometimes I'll do a stack show like I got a stack show coming up in Vegas on um August 31st we decided to have it's going to be Ari Duncan Joey and me holy [ __ ] yeah so we're going to have a big ass crazy [ __ ] show at the manderlay bay I like doing sounds like a yeah this [ __ ] can't let it go um you know but to have a show like that like a four fourman killer show four Headliners you know I think um we'll start doing more of those that's fun if you do one of those let me know I'll do yeah dude you're in man any you look at my schedule and then let me know where you want to go I do that in a heartbeat okay come on I can't do a long weekend but I can do like a weekend with you okay well let's do it let's um let's find a uh a couple dates coming up and and lock something in but uh yeah we're we're going all over the [ __ ] place so I got a lot of [ __ ] coming up in North Carolina I'm doing uh Raleigh and Asheville North Carolina in September I'm doing uh Minneapolis in October yeah I'm doing uh I got a bunch of dates coming up Sacramento I'm doing a theater up there um I'm going to do the San Jose Improv there's a UFC in San Jose that San Jose Improv is the [ __ ] it's a beautiful place [ __ ] amazing Place Houdini used to work there yeah it used to be uh if you're in San Jose and you don't go to that improv you really you wouldn't even know as you drove by that unless you're like a resident that knows
the history of the building but that's an oldtime show building from like silent movie days and it is unbelievably gorgeous it is a beautiful beautiful Club it's one of my favorite places to work in San Jose's the [ __ ] son we got a show uh Wednesday night at the ice house that's tomorrow night going to be that's going to be an insane show Tom RH is one of my favorite human beings it's ridiculous the lineup Brian uh we got Bert ker Sam tripy Tom rhs bro Stevens Doug bensona that's crazy that's a and me I might have to take a car service there to Party come party bro I'm party take a car service and come party I'm going to take a car service house comedy.com yeah and that means uh if Brody or rather if uh if he Bert does that he'll also be on the Ice House Chronicles with Brody's going to be H it right yeah with Brody with d marera with Tom rhods it's sure to be one of the best ice house of all time and if you want to get the ice house Chronicles it's one of my favorite podcasts that we do and it's on Brian's label the death squad label um what is desk Squad that sounds kind of Meathead is uh it's it's a nickname that Opie from Opie and Anthony gave me when I showed up at the studio uh we showed up Brian and Tate Fletcher and Eddie Bravo and it's like oh Joe Rogan brought the death squad it was it was it became like a silly thing it's silly more than anything we don't think we're really killing anybody relax uh but anyway it's fun when people when people go what is this [ __ ] desk sad you're a part of it's craziness I can't explain to you but um on iTunes if you go to the Des Squad uh label on iTunes that's the only way to get ice house Chronicles go to deathsquad.tv you can check that [ __ ] out there but we do regular shows at the ice house so if you're in Pasadena most likely almost every week we're there it's a great [ __ ] club it's a club that's been around since the 1960s and to us it's all Brian and I were just talking about this this is our lab it's like the greatest Club ever it's like it's the best thing ever for being a comic we get to just [ __ ] do shows every week and you're so like I I don't think I've done one of those shows even remotely sober the last show the last show I did there was in the big room and I kept talking to the lights I
thought there was a balcony oh yeah so for the whole show I kept talking to the balcony and the kid in the front row goes who the [ __ ] are you talking to and I go them and he goes there's no second floor and I got out of Lights I went wait where the [ __ ] did the second floor you thought you were at the laugh I thought it was I was like there I thought there was a second [ __ ] floor that was the funnest show i' that was so it is chaos got out the plain drunk show every show is the funnest show like the last one we did was more fun than the ones we've done before and it's and the conversations are [ __ ] epic yeah well we have it's a real green room it's like what what the Ice House Chronicles are is like you know um we we've been doing podcasts for a while but to do a podcast and a show at the same time really is like one of the most perfect combinations because everybody gets loosened up before they go on stage in the in the podcast studio so we're all talking [ __ ] and having fun taking whiskey shots before you go on St I don't think I've have done one of those shows without you pulling me aside and going let's do a shot at Jack we do shots we're doing shots I just put one up yesterday the Ice House Chronicles 40 and it has Tiffany hadish in it this amazing new comic that I love her to death she she's hilarious and she does her secret Talent of que don't tell people she queefs to the beat um but anyway it's the ice house Chronicles that's going to be a black FL always a good time always a good time and available free all of it's free on iTunes as well as uh this podcast that Joe Rogan Experience it's on serious satellite radio we thank them very much for putting it on the Opie and Anthony channel uh Opie and Anthony are our boys we love them and little Jimmy so it's an honor to be on the same network as them but the bottom line is about this this show is uh this this show is always going to be free I mean it's online it's going to remain like this I I think the the love that we've experienced from you guys uh is one of the the coolest most inspiring things that I've ever been a part of in my entire uh quote unquote career in in Show Business we I think we figured out how to cut out all the middleman all the [ __ ] all the producers and allow people to have real
[ __ ] conversations allow people who are listening to join in on a real conversation you know I'm not bullshitting you I might be wrong I [ __ ] things up I get things wrong I confuse dates but I will never lie I I am not lying I I will not if I if I if I tell you something it's because I believe it if I tell you something on this podcast it's because I've experienced it or it's in my mind or it's it's truly uh you're going to get my uncensored thoughts every single [ __ ] time don't lie don't lie that was an old thing that Brian used to do all the time after videos don't lie but it's true that's sort of our our our ethic all of us together and it's an important way of uh looking at the world man the more truthful you are with your own thoughts and the more truthful you can be about your your own thoughts to other people the more we can all learn from each other because if you're saying something like bur Cher you're an honest dude when you tell me something I know that that is coming right from you I go ber Cher is an honest dude I can totally trust what he's saying right now this is a good conversation as soon as you can't you're in a a [ __ ] conversation as soon as you're talking well how's everything you have you have you been out to the lake this year as soon as you get into a [ __ ] conversation where you don't really care about what you're saying you're just making noises with your mouth for social purposes you know and nobody's growing from that you're you're not growing from that [ __ ] that you have to do when you're in that [ __ ] cubicle all day talking on the phone answering customer service calls you're not growing from that God damn it nope you you grow from having either experiencing a real conversation through your through your headphones because you're tuning into this podcast or you're having real conversations yourself you're having real conversations with your friends and don't don't keep anybody in your life where you can't have that if you can't have a real conversation with them they are just going to be a god damn roadblock those people are walking landmines and you owe it to them to tell them the [ __ ] truth don't be that person yourself and if you run into one of those people the only way they're
going to change is they're going to feel like [ __ ] because people call them out on it and they're going to have to reassess their own situation that's the only way you improve people you got to tell the truth don't hang out with [ __ ] and then stop giving me [ __ ] for saying the things I do should stop giving you [ __ ] talking to the fans what are they giving you [ __ ] about nothing nothing yeah there's a lot of brutal Red Band haters out there you know why because they look at you and they go I could do that but they can't do that cuz they're not you so tell them to suck it that's right say it suck some on it down in your mouth [ __ ] yeah on it.com go to I to turn that into an ad thank you to Alienware MMA also for uh we're at my house which uh by the way we do have a new uh Studio that's going to be set up literally any day now we're waiting to get the green light to get in there and start start the construction but I'm excited it's going to be so I'm going to put in a pool table I might put in an isolation tank if I could figure out a place to install a shower I think I have a place to install I'm bringing I'm bringing this illegal wine not a legal one from uh from the death squad Scotland guys gave me I'm bringing that tomorrow beautiful it's called buckfest Uh oh you're drinking it first you're going to be the tester if anyone in Los Angeles wants a cat and they will take good care of it let me know don't you're going to find some crazy cats and she's going to skin your cat and send you photos Instagrams what's your cat doing pissing in your bed no no it's just it's just I have have too many animals in such a small place and it's out of control you should have brought your dog over man I called you to see if you want me to do it bring your dog over Wednesday bring your dog over Wednesday we coming here Wednesday yeah coming here Wednesday Joey Diaz tomorrow ladies and gentlemen the great Joey Coco [ __ ] Diaz uh probably three all right all right ladies and gentlemen uh if you use the code name Rogan you will save yourself 10% off of any of the supplements at on it.com that's o n niit t and again I I I I discussed this before if you're interested in any of these things I suggest you go to the on it weite because it is very comprehensive it discusses all the
science behind it and I also suggest that you you Google all this stuff and Google the word nut tropics and the controversy behind it I have been a fan of them for years I take them on a regular basis I benefit from them that's why I sell them I uh I firmly believe it enough to the point where the first 30 pills if you buy them if you don't feel that they're satisfactory you get 100% money back guarantee nobody wants you to feel ripped off so I can't keep repeating myself so I might have to record this eventually it's getting ridiculous I try to keep organic it was much more fun though you're right with the flashlight keeping organic when you're talking about CLE bells and being [ __ ] manly you got to get some cannonballs and you learn how to do some Turkish getups and you need to get off the bicep curls and tricep extensions you fruity [ __ ] cuz you're imbalancing your body and you're going to get dick pains all right this podcast is over we thank you very much for tuning in as always we thank you and oh Denver this weekend holla Brandon Walsh what what Joey Diaz and me that's a good show yeah at the Paramount it's uh there's it's a big ass place but last I heard I think there's only a couple hundred tickets left well it's cuz it's 100% amazing show yeah it's going to be fun um so that's Denver this Friday if you're coming into the UFC uh in Denver we're at the Paramount Theater if you go to my Twitter I put up a link to it really recently or just Google that [ __ ] you can figure it out but don't go through a scalper because they will [ __ ] you that's creepy man when you start doing theaters Louis CK's got it down right yeah cuz the scalpers it's it's a weird thing when you go and you find your tickets for sale somewhere other than the official website and cuz it's sold out and they're for sale for a [ __ ] load of money yeah Lou got the business Paradigm down I got to copy him with everything he does except his hair all right this fuing show is a a beautiful show I'm not making fun of I I had to say it but look I don't have any hair so no I'm going to sh got more ridiculous the I got to shave mine soon it's the greatest thing I've ever done I'm I feel so free I feel so relaxed like I don't ever have to go to haircuts and by the way hairdresses will [ __ ] hold you
hostage with those scissors and I was telling him that's not how I operate yeah yeah yeah yeah cut the [ __ ] hair Jesus Christ holding me this like remember people do that with joints you know we had a friend that used to do that with joints all the time it's p Puff Pass not P puff puff let me tell you a story this [ __ ] said to me and you you're held hostage cuz he's got the reefer dirty [ __ ] tomorrow night tomorrow Joe Diaz [ __ ] get him to come to the uh to the ice house too if we can oh he I asked him he can't he can't he's a busy guy but he uh he will come if he can he's there all the time but he'll be here on the podcast tomorrow thank you everybody go to uh follow Burke kusher on Twitter b e r t k re i s c h r and follow Brian Redban that's r e d b a n on Twitter holler at your boy we see you freaks tomorrow we love you [Applause] [Music]