Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TjQcaK2Oa4w
I feel like if if we were allowed to use Music we're not totally but if we were I would go with the Doors Riders on the Storm right now Riders on the Storm rers on the Storm I don't think you can even sing it really okay I'll stop they're all but they're all dead what the [ __ ] they're not all dead I think there's one still floating around out there the big guy dropped off at 27 this episode this 400th episode of The Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by legalzoom.com if you have anything that you need to get done a legal style like whether you want to incorporate and become an LLC which is limited legal Corporation or some [ __ ] I don't know know what the [ __ ] that actually stands for um if you want to get a will if you want to even get divorced bam you can get divorced on legal zoom.com essentially what it does is it sets up a structure so that you can do things things like incorporating yourself or working on copyrights or trademarks and do it legally without the use of an attorney they also will provide you with a contact for an independent attorney if you need additional guidance so if you feel like you're entering into this you're like maybe I can do this and then halfway through you're like [ __ ] they'll help you out so it's not scary but you're going to be able to do it you know how I know you're going to be able to do it Brian did it okay I want you to think about that did a drunk at 4 in the morning I don't even remember doing it not that's not to say that Brian might not be going to jail next week for that very same series of clicks he shouldn't be responsible he was drinking you should be able to sue the alcohol companies for that whichever ones were responsible Legal Zoom should have a breathalizer Legal Zoom is not a law firm they what they do is they provide self-help services at your specific Direction it's pretty simple stuff though it's very clear to follow and uh it can save you a lot of money and it can also save you a lot of time and you can do it you know in your [ __ ] house you don't have to go somewhere you can do it naked nobody can stop you nobody can stop you Joe Diaz nobody do you understand this so if you have an idea for a business that you
haven't done anything about you can incorporate that [ __ ] online the online process couldn't be easier go to Legal zoom.com if you enter the code name Rogan you'll save yourself some cash all right you folks we're also brought to you by stamps.com stamps.com is a official delivery system for the Des quad. TV t-shirts so if you see those t-shirts that Brian has made and designed all of those [ __ ] get delivered through stamps.com so we know this is a a real legit product and what stamps.com does I should say that clearly stamps.com does what they do is is they allow you if you're like you're selling [ __ ] from your house they allow you to do all the weighing and packaging at home then you can print up your own actual postal information Joey Diaz you talking in the background I can hear you what you guys arguing over nothing nothing Duncan you distracting him in the middle of the [ __ ] all important commercials how dare you I don't mean to get how dare you you're so non-corporate man you can't even help yourself you do it almost against your own will I don't want to get in the there's a govern the power shut down going on right now Joe it's not time to advertise all right that's what I'm saying stamps.com is a great way to send out Kitty Cat t-shirts that's my point all right you don't have to go to the Post Office and weigh everything out everything you do it at home they provide you with a scale um if you entering the code word JRE they give you a sweet offer no risk trial $110 bonus offer includes a digital scale and up to $55 free postage so uh go and check it out use the code word JRE and get your $110 bonus offer it's we know it works cuz Brian uses it so much better than going to the post office and having to weigh all your [ __ ] out and talk to people that don't want to talk to you so stamps.com we're also brought to you by on it.com did I say you have to use a code word JRE uh yeah yes yes code word J for stamps.com yeah you're right folks you what the [ __ ] if I want to use these things why don't you have the same code you're right we've thought about this a million times before however it's probably never going to happen so deal with it it's very weird that it's not though it's all should be the code word Rogan yeah why why mix it up I don't know people get silly I don't
understand people Brian I try I don't understand myself though so what the [ __ ] uh anyway stamps.com code wordss J we're also brought to you by hit.com that's o n niit t uh use the code named Rogan you will save 10% off any and all supplements including Alpha Brain which Joey Diaz is on right now he's jacked up on Alpha Brain how do you know in the air I took new mood can I have some brains can I have some he brain you do get jacked on that [ __ ] got to charge up yeah it where's here we go running out of them especially when you mix it with sativa or it takes you to a different [ __ ] level of I go through those things like crackers I can't keep a bottle in the house it's gone in two days I feel bad calling the kid but no no don't feel bad we love you using it we love it I feel [ __ ] bad got I got the daily packages left though that is delicious too so for all the people that caught [ __ ] on anything like Alpha Brain just try it the way we have it set up is so easy there's and or don't try it that's cool too but if you want to try it there's a 90day 30 pill money back guarantee when you buy one of these bottles one of these bottles of 30 pills all you have to do is say this stuff sucks and you get your money back you don't have to return the product no one's telling you anything that's bogus all we're trying to sell you is the best supplements that we can find that we can sell whether it's the best protein power or the best strength and conditioning equipment it's all we're interested in doing we just I want the stuff that I use um I'm a big proponent of kettle bells and all this other [ __ ] like battle ropes and Club Bells they're awesome I use them all shroom Tech I'm hooked on it addicted like peanut butter I love shroom Tech shroom Tech is a Corps mushroom supplement that uh it gives you more endurance it gives you more juice it's it's what the Chinese Olympic team used they found out about it when China uh started kicking ass in the Olympics and tracking field they were like what the [ __ ] is going on here they found out they were taking this quarters mushroom and adding it to their training yeah that was when it was first discovered when are you supposed to take it like before you work out yeah take
like an hour before you work out uh use the code named Rogan save 10% off any and all supplements and like I said we got a full array of everything from from health and fitness supplements to strengthen conditioning equipment we even sell like blenders like we just sell the like what I used to make kale kale shakes and smoothies those Blend Tech blenders you can stick an iPhone in it we're like [ __ ] it we'll sell it we should sell it it's the [ __ ] so that's it go to h.com use the code word Rogan and save yourself 10% all right folks this is the 400th one this is a big one goddamn baby congratulations Jo Diaz Bri Red Man Che the music 400 even I Love Lucy and got 400 [ __ ] joean experience train my day Jo podcast by night all day I Love Lucy how many episodes I Love Lucy you can sit there for [ __ ] two years and not watch I love he has a kid they go to Panama they meet Superman put the fingerprint how many [ __ ] I Love Lucy real quick not to throw you off how I only take three shroom tchs cuz one time I took like five dog and I couldn't control myself really like I could when I started doing the shroom Tech I would go to the epileptical and I could only do seven I can only do seven I could only do s to 9 minutes yeah and I would start getting stressed out now with the shroom I can do 45 and that's cuz I get scared I get off I hit the bag before I get on the epileptical now yeah for 30 so that's how much you know I've been working on it for [ __ ] five months right but the shroom Tech I take you're supposed to take them towards body weight correct yes you know like and I don't even know how to do the math on that so I just take three of them just to be safe right but they're [ __ ] I'm telling you man I like them that's the biggest thing you take five that's crazy it's just a lot of B12 a lot of B12 and a lot of quarters mushroom and you know there's nothing bad for you I've never had a bad experience from taking five I wouldn't advise people to take five I would say cut it off at two I take three I get gangster with them I found all these football players were getting gangster with it they take like five Alpha brains and six shroom TCH and I was like f these guys are gigantic so I'm like I'll
try five let's see what five is like but isn't that follow your that same rule that guy told you like don't take too much of you know like boner pills or something like that yeah well it's it's really I would say yes but it's really it's all natural it's not it's nothing like radical is happening to your body it's not a stimulant it's not like I wouldn't worry about it I wouldn't take more than five you know what's going to happen because of this you're going to be watching CNN.com and you're going to hear about some psychopath wandering into DC with a shotgun and then pictures of Alpha Brain are going to start flashing up he had 700 bottles in the back seat of his car he please he would be enlightened he wouldn't be going with a gun he would be going with hugs' be try to hug him and they shoot him that would get yeah that gets you killed faster woman she was suffering from postpartum and she uh was driving around she was on you know some sort of medication yeah drive down the White House and she got in a a gunfight with the with the popo they they wound up killing her she had a baby in her car I mean it's so crazy every time I see stuff like that I think man I wish you could do that in Grand Theft Auto it's like you can't you can't drive kids around if you notice that there's no kids in Grand Theft Auto not a single kid why would you want to drive little fake kids around why not I want to I want it to be realistic drop them off at school drive them off cliffs wow and kill dogs in it though yeah that's where we draw the line you can't have fake killing of babies CU if you encourage that in any way shape or form and then it somehow becomes a reality like someone decides to to make sport of killing babies cuz it's a part of a video game it's going to be a real problem how [ __ ] crazy is this is happening now every 3 weeks people it's pretty crazy this is this is not even a joke no more like it's happening every three weeks and you know what it's going to happen around here at a [ __ ] park at a stupid basketball game at a [ __ ] taco place there's a lot of issues lot of issues a lot of [ __ ] issues and I'm sitting there going you know is this a setup is somebody hanging out outside a [ __ ] psychiatrist office and when they see some [ __ ] guy come out they
give him a gun and $20 and say what I mean what the [ __ ] is going on I don't think that I don't I don't know what to think I think it's natural that's what I think when you have this many people kids it was this natural to go this no I'm not saying that I'm saying it's natural when you got this many people that are on first of all on drugs you have a massive amount of people in this country that are on all sorts of drugs whether they need them or not the reality is the amount of people on prescription medication is very high then you're going to have natural amounts of mental illness when you have a high population you have higher amounts of mental illness they've shown this in rap population density studies apparently I was listening to this uh podcast about it um I think it was psychedelic Salon McKenna was talking I forget might have been Art Bell either way um they were talking about rap population density studies that they did the same thing with with rats where they started them small put like a 100 rats in a in a in a room together or you know 10 rats or whatever and they just kept ramping it up until they were on top of each other and when they were on top of each other they started exhibiting the same sort of mental illnesses that you see in people or like they stand in the corner would just shake and rock back and forth they couldn't handle it you they you start to see all sorts of weird aberant behavior and they think it's from the overstimulation because when you get to a population density like that it's very difficult for the human body to tolerate it's very difficult for the human body to to to to deal with the sheer numbers of people that you interact with on a daily basis it's almost completely unnatural for us and so the idea is that in these scenarios most of us can keep it together but there's going to be a certain amount that have mental illness and coupled with a certain amount of extra stress that our highly populated cities are providing with a certain amount of extra craziness because they're on prescription medication and then just the stress of Life period all that together being unemployed Financial stuff boom powder KAG but isn't this stuff happening mostly in the United States and other overpopulated countries
you don't hear about this these massacres happening you do about something the one in Finland where the guy murdered those kids that's right there was the guy in Finland but it Finland or Iceland what Finland I think it was Finland we were young Joe the big one was in San Diego when the kid went into McDonald's yeah when we were kids that was the big one that's it that was you heard about you went home and there was a special eyewitness news report they were in San Diego and the guy had a shotgun and yeah that that was you know now it seems like you expect it it's a daily occurrence now and some are worse than others it's also there's a lot of people out there that feel disenfranchised and there's a lot of people out there that they don't they don't feel like they can make a a dent in this world unless they do something really bad there's there's people out there that feel like to to get noticed and to get people to recognize them they can do that if they do something really bad I think it's a I think it's a love fam I think people are starving for love people in the United States don't express love in a normal way it's a really weird thing like if you ever you know like that like you might be around friends or even just talking to your brother or something and you have this impulse where you want to say I love you man I love you but you don't you don't do it there's a thing that triggers in you where you you you feel I'm not going to say that I want to sound weak right and I I think that's what it is I think people are just so turned around backwards uh as to the flow the the flow of nature the flow of life that uh they're sort of malfunctioning because of that yeah there could be that for sure there's also this weird transitionary period the human race is going into as we get more and more information on a daily basis from the Internet it's more and more obvious that the world we live in is [ __ ] it's like the system's terrible we know that we can operate as as individuals and we can be really friendly with each other you know we can the people in this room Ken we can party we can live together we could if it was just us on the planet we were the only people that we interacted with we'd have
a great time so why is it that when you get massive amounts of people all of a sudden there's all this death and there's all this [ __ ] fighting and there's all this chaos and there's all this you know lawsuits and [ __ ] and what what is it you know what it is about numbers sounds like the [ __ ] Kardashians you know here's the other thing it's it's a per two people could have a life now like you and Duncan could own a business do you know that and not even talk to each other yes you could live in your home and Duncan could live in your home you don't have to talk to each other I'm very insecure why I don't like texting I'm insecure I want to hear you oh you want to know like the person's voice I want to hear you I don't want don't text me and you don't want even voicemail messages either because you want to communicate talk to you I'm old school because I don't want to ever lose that would I don't know how to say I don't know how to say the word would disenfranchising ourselves from ourselves yeah yeah and that some people can handle it and some people can't I can't handle it you know I was [ __ ] 30 when I was 20 so I'm an old soul I like it I like the contact for me I need to hear your voice hear one of the all-time best douchebag actor stories yes I'm at a restaurant once and this douchebag actor is there and he's by himself eating and he's I think he's crazy and um he starts talking to a couple that's near them like they're sitting by the themselves on a date and you know he's kind fairly famous so he starts talking to them like how long have you two been together you know and they're they're they're you know they don't know what to do but they kind of recognize them so it's kind of weird so they kind of are stuck in this thing where they have to talk to the guy and then I'm watching this play out and he's he's talking to him he tells the woman that she's an old soul oh Jesus he told her she was you you seem like an old soul you really seem like an old soul you got really this I sense something with you too like this is an amazing relationship isn't it it was so [ __ ] strange and I was like get me out of this town get me out of here you people with your [ __ ] emotional support dogs I told you about that [ __ ] no I
Resturant bigger than me get on a plane with a French poodle I was cracked right there bigger than me 400 480 500 with a [ __ ] poodle go ahead I'm sorry to interrupt let you [ __ ] know just don't even get me started on that [ __ ] issue La has people have figured out that there's a workaround to the Americans with Disabilities Act yes and you can say that your dog provides you with emotional support and you can be like a regular person and you can go into a restaurant with a [ __ ] Labrador see this is a thing this is this this is the thing I got to confess when I was with Natasha we would we realized this trick that you can put a red vest on the dog with a little cross on it you can order them on the Internet and legally people can't ask you what your disability is so it's like because when you know when you see somebody with a Chihuahua it might cross your mind to think how's this thing going to help them if they start having a seizure like what's what is it what's it really going to do is it's going to let you know he's dead park park park park park so like we we started saying that we were doing that and then man got a couple got some emails from people who were disabled and and they're like you have to understand I have to have this dog like it's trained to to either guide me it's trained to like help me if I have a seizure and every time you [ __ ] put one of those fake vests on a [ __ ] dog so that you can go and eat in a nice restaurant with it you're making it that more much more difficult for me to do it because people are getting increasingly suspicious and increasingly suspicious where they used to not be at all so just leave your [ __ ] dog at home if you want to go eat pasta don't don't gum up the gear don't get in the way of people who are actually [ __ ] sick cuz there are you [ __ ] I was one of those [ __ ] in Columbus Ohio Christina pizitz and Tom zura brought their dog using the same thing see that [ __ ] is so ridiculous people with dogs think that just because they love their dogs that dirty stinky open ass animal be allow yes it is they're rubbing their little asses on chairs and those that ass on the chair could have worms in it and the microscopic worms could get in my hand and I could get worms that's real it's a dog man it's a
[ __ ] dog it's creepy enough that people drop silverware on the floor and pick it up and still use it like you're going to wipe off with a napkin all the [ __ ] [ __ ] eggs that are stuck to the bottom of your sh my dog [ __ ] eggs are clean dude I love dogs you know I do I've always had dogs but bringing dogs to a restaurant is a massive douche how about a [ __ ] plane just as bad how about a plane when you got sitting next to somebody with a [ __ ] dog listen I love animals too but I don't expect somebody else like them I'm old school you want to listen to music put your [ __ ] earphones on and I'll put mine on you have to hear each other's [ __ ] you might like something different so I'm the same way I feel like if I was to walk into somebody's space with a dog they didn't even know I'd be [ __ ] feeling weird yeah I don't know that's just how I was built up like I'm taking I'm wasting your [ __ ] time and there's people who think they could do that [ __ ] on fire and I Know It guides you from emotional support but so does a pop brownie you a little half of a pop Brown you go to a restaurant you're okay you can leave the [ __ ] dog in the car with the air on and you know some people can't leave the dog anywhere they they're they want that dog with them all time I love my cats I worry about earthquakes most people who ate you got to if people ate pot brownies like you eat pot brownies and went into restaurants they would need a emotional support no no no I'm talking about I've had conversations with people that do not smoke marijuana they're not potheads they eat brownies and they've given up they little pieces of brownies they'll buy like a 100 milligram brownie on Monday at Divine wellness and it lasts them four days and they drive to Warner Brothers and they communicate with people and they threw away their [ __ ] pills wow okay this I I know what pills were they on you know the [ __ ] that they give you when you go to the doctor and tell them that you hear voices whatever the [ __ ] they give you whatever they give you Joe Aderall uh you know those give I'm so sorry whatever I'm sorry guys I don't know I it's not my you're saying but I've you know so that that that's how I meant it I didn't mean in a funny way it's uh real tricky to decide
what medication is right for anybody you know I think it's real tricky to try to figure out how another person's mind works and that seems to be the issue that they have when they're prescribing those medications in the first place like when our friend was on them I think one of the things that came up was that they had to constantly change his dose give them different stuff and they they were like try this tell me how you feel on this like it's that simple like they give you stuff to try and you're like well I guess I feel good okay is that you think that's a good dose and you're like well I feel pretty good you know everything seems pretty good today like okay all we're going to keep you at that dose and when they start doing [ __ ] like that it's like it's very it becomes very subjective like what work why does this one work really good on you and that one work really good on him I was on zolof when I was in college why were you on it I got depressed wow what was uh getting you depressed that's I you know I don't know I'm not really sure that I like completely figured it out but um I don't know how long were you on it for I was on it for probably six months and I couldn't come like I it made it so that I couldn't come anymore like I could I could get it I could get it get it up but I couldn't ejaculate I could couldn't have any orgasm that's Brian's favorite new drug I know what is this called z z it's also really bad for your brain though dude especially if you're not supposed to be honest well it was you know what it did what what it did was it it did produce this uh feeling that I now associate with when I'm being really healthy like when I'm meditating a lot or exercising regular eating right or when I get all my ducks in a row this nice clear Tranquility will generally come over things so that I'm not my mind isn't reactive when any weird shitty thing happens it's like you just are sort of at this nice tranquil level it kind of kind of reproduced that at the cost of not being able to have orgasms and then um I just stopped taking it and went out in the woods because I was working in the summer camp went out in the woods for shot load like a donkey with a cattle Pro up his ass
over first time coming after how long God I don't know man it was it was a while I mean I could but I'm it's not like like I couldn't come it's just like it took forever like if you've ever taken a narcotic and tried to jerk off it's like that it's like it just doesn't happen it's like that so but you can do it if you really apply yourself and work really hard and like you can like squeeze some jiz out after it's over does it feel like you accomplish something yeah yeah it feels like you put your [ __ ] in a pencil sharpener cuz you been jerking off for an hour straight twice at two points in my life I've jerked off to the point where I had a blister on my dick oh Jesus an actual like a blister like a no like like a red spot where I like wor through the skin I had one of those [ __ ] couple times to dry jacking serious on two separate occasions in my life I did that that's how stupid I am I one time beat off to myy jacking hey when you're young especially when you're young and single especially if you're trying to stay single like you're trying to be focused and you it was when I was very young when you're trying to be focused on your career the last thing you want to do is be thinking about sex and just for me my solution was just beat off on the rig and then it was and then becomes an addiction really that should be in the Constitution where before politicians make big decisions they have to masturbate I bet this I bet this shutdown wouldn't happen if like Boehner and Obama had to jerk off before they decided to do whatever they were going to do they would definitely be less tense is it still shut down still still shut down yeah I got about [ __ ] hate emails the other day when I went out the other night to work out on the way home it was 20 to 10 and I saw the weed store I'm like let me go in there and on the way home it dawned on me that it's 20 to 10 and the weed store is still open the way I word it was the government shut down and the weed store still open the weed store is still open and will be for the next two hours [ __ ] I got hate mail [ __ ] you you fat [ __ ] why is that bad why would you get hate people like you don't understand what's going on with the government this is bad
this is all because of guys it's a [ __ ] tweet you know what I'm saying what's wrong with you this is why it's shut down [ __ ] Momo like you yeah don't get mad at Joey Diaz for stating the obvious can you believe that because every time there's a stupid article or something on Twitter and on the media we get [ __ ] Twitter from people across the country like haters hey man they're going to shut the [ __ ] stores down what are you going to do no more and all a sudden these [ __ ] stores are still rocking and rolling Denver is rocking and rolling I was in Portland last week and those [ __ ] don't know what it is not the smoke you know those [ __ ] Savages up there they walk around with pot trees and [ __ ] and naap saacks and yeah that I mean that's it they have no idea so all of a sudden the government shut down cuz they got no Gus but these [ __ ] States got so much guus and taxes I think California is broke but at least they're generating let's look up the [ __ ] numbers people what what's Denver generating what's Denver did you see that 60-minute show well what they're saying is it's going to it literally is going to turn the economy around completely clink clink clink clink clink clink clink and these dummies these by the way who are the same dummies who are anti-drugs it's almost like secretly they want drugs to be legal and the only way they can go about it is to have the government completely collapse so that they can't regulate them anymore and then the drugs will take over and the drugs will let them understand how they' [ __ ] up the entire country with their CUNY egos yeah and then they then they can apologize it's it's almost like the only thing that can save them at this point is pot out of all the ones that are dangerous out of all the ones that you want an instant change in the economy of course it's not going to be under corporate control you got to realize that you ready for that because it's going to be under control but anybody wants to grow pot that's the problem if you make it legal how how legal is it going to be is it going to be legal to grow like a tomato like I have tomatoes in my yard is it going to be okay if I grow pot in my yard because if that's the case it's pretty easy to do man good luck We're Off to the Races
the whole economy is going to change wasn't there a time when weed was totally legal totally legal and no one even thought about it before the 1930s and no one even it wasn't even a thing like if it was just something else you smoked it was so common and so normal and so used as a textile and a commodity like it was so important to the making of clothes and for all all sorts of different things that they had before they came out with um the decorticator when they came out with a decorticator it led them to to be able to process this [ __ ] really [ __ ] easy and all the the difficulty that they had with processing in the past was gone one machine completely figured out how to take this hemp and turn it into instantly turn it into what you could use for paper building materials Henry Ford made his first [ __ ] car he had the fenders made out of hemp it's a it's an amazing plant like it's one of the most durable [ __ ] plants that's ever existed and it's lightweight it's really weird it's not like any other plan so the idea of making that illegal was so ridiculous that they had to make the name marijuana what they did was Harry Harry anslinger and William Randolph Hurst and Hurst controlled all these newspapers well he also controlled all this paper he controlled all these like he made he had forests and these forests would chop down this wood and and use it to make paper he was going to have to convert all that to hemp like Popular Science was saying hemp the new billion dollar crop like they they got it in because of the the actual the applications for like clothing and nylon and fuel that's how they got it in they got it in as a commodity they they essentially banned an incredible natural commodity one of the greatest ones ever so that they could have nylon for like ropes and [ __ ] like that so that Hurst didn't have to transfer his his Mills over to hemp paper like there's a bunch of weird economic reasons it just stuck so good the 1930s it's still stuck yeah we're running around with the [ __ ] internet with cold syrup and alcohol and [ __ ] anti-depressants and everything else and to this day one of the best plants that's ever existed on this planet for people is illegal illegal I mean if there's no you don't need any more proof than that that
we're [ __ ] [ __ ] like you want to talk about a backwards ass civilization they've got the best plant ever illegal then nothing else can [ __ ] with it there's nothing else you can eat make houses with make clothes with and that [ __ ] is illegal it's going to be interesting seeing that population growth for the places that are legal now and seeing if the if there's a growth in like music and arts like if it's becomes like Portland becomes the new Seattle in like just two years or like well it's illegal in Portland it is illegal yeah it's illegal in Portland Port didn't or no well you can have I you can have medical they they didn't make it legal Statewide they only made it legal Statewide first was Colorado was uh shortly after was Washington State and those are the only two right now that's actually legal in the state but we knew that Denver had passed a city law way back in the day where they said weed was legal they said they were not going to arrest you don't smoke it in public the cops like they openly stated they weren't going to do this we used to we used to talk about that on stage back when we were doing the Comedy Works in the early 2000s yeah it's very strange it's a really strange uh strange phenomena I think it and if you look at it not just from the the economic perspective of why people economically might want to ban it but also from the uh Consciousness level because of the state that induces is one of deep introspection and if you consider uh capitalism and the effects of it like what you just said and you really explore like [ __ ] do I want to be uh do I want to be do I want to subscribe to the system that has actually thrown people in jail for growing a thing that used to be like one of the number one substances used that's the kind of thoughts that come to your mind when you're high along with a lot of other stuff like man I think I'm a [ __ ] [ __ ] did I really just say that to whoever I said that to like I think I'm a [ __ ] [ __ ] and the more you start like thinking about stuff like that that that produces the paranoid trip everyone's so afraid of but if you take that deeper then what you realize is happening is the plant is healing your Consciousness and it's identifying
aspects of yourself that need to be worked on that's what the effect is and also if you get super stoned and just get into a messy room you'll start organizing the [ __ ] room generally you'll start cleaning and scrubbing because you're externalizing what it's doing to you on the inside which is organizing all these desparate aspects of your personality and forcing you to at least acknowledge it if not work on it and does that kind of balancing agent work with a society based on denial and a society based on ignoring the fact that the whole thing functions by evaporating human beings and stealing their land do you really want a a a drug that produces that level of understanding in the bloodstream of the population well you do just you don't if you're the one at the Helm of the [ __ ] meat machine if you're the one who's pushing the blades across the land and slashing everything in front of it then you don't but if you're everybody else of course you do of course you do right we're all better off high it's never yeah I've never really known what it is to sit on a couch you know I don't play games no I don't play video games I've never I don't even know play a little pool Joe I grew up in a [ __ ] bar had here here's the weirdest thing of them all that weed always kicked my ass like it always [ __ ] beat the [ __ ] out of me like when I smoked it in the morning like 8 in the morning it would pattern my day for me like first off you're not going to sit here right you're got to get the [ __ ] out of the house right okay so it made me go out get like a I always love listening to music so I used to get those anytime since 1980 I've always had something around my ears whether it was the big disc I never had the big ghetto blaster but I had the disc I had the disc and then it got shorter to the cassette and then it became an iPod I don't even know the evolution I even had the power booster that I bought on 40 you know New York the electronic oh you know you could buy anything I used to buy Sony used to make an amp that you plugged into the Walkman and you plugged your speakers into the [ __ ] amp how much of a Savage I was I wanted it loud cuz when you go to New York City there wasn't those earbuds then it was
speakers you know but I wanted it loud people used to go around with ghetto blasters remember that [ __ ] ears at the whole neighbor their own music a hip hop a him to the him they would like walk down the street like holding on a giant radio like what that was that has got to be one of the weirdest Creations a huge loud stereo that you carry with you and do bring them everywhere do you remember that but let me explain something to you think of the dudes who did it it was the same dudes today who have a pitbull you're right the people who had that were people who [ __ ] look kind of scary like what they walk in with the don't look me cuz I'm close they'll walk into the [ __ ] house with it blasting well in some ways it makes life a little bit simpler because you're walking around with a soundtrack you know I had one I had a small one I remember this yeah that's what they used to cat har that's insane look at that thing man that looks like something we would plug into to make the the show yeah that looks like the podcast equipment he's got like sliding scales on that thing look at that you're turning on huie Lewis in the news full blast it's it the b square I don't think that guy listened to hu Lewis in the news no he's probably listen and if you if you had one of these nobody ever took it from you co G Rap never no get mugged of a [ __ ] stereo like dog Do's a help please help us find it I'm sure someone must have Joey people steal everything did you see this this is me dunin trussle yeah I saw that did you see that unfuckingbelievable Joy's on the far right that's insane that look at my you so cute check out the sexy Lucky Seven y can you get it so it just his whole body Fells a scre I was 44 I was 44 it was no lucky7 yeah like that look at that wow that's so crazy wow wow look at you dude so how old are you in this picture 14 14 God damn Joey you cute you're cute as a button look at David Ru turn around and talk into the microphone other people can hear this too that kid right there Jo it's up on this screen too that kid with the afro was a very interesting story this guy right here because we were we were a horrible basketball team at McKinley can you go full screen and
he moved in our neighborhood he he could jump he was 5'8 but this kid could [ __ ] jump like Julius serving so he was Dominican his name was Louis Hernandez I'm from Jersey they just pled it they just cut it short and called him Louis the [ __ ] they said [ __ ] it we don't care if he's Dominican we're not going to even think about that we're just gonna this is David Ru he they they they called him that to his face too like Louis [ __ ] and when we and did did he get pissed [ __ ] you [ __ ] yeah he was a tough kid he get mad at you when you sometimes like I think he bit SLA two or three people but the best thing he did was we used to do acid when we first started smoking weed in the eth grade we go behind the soccer field in North Bergen and he let us blow smoke into his afro and see the smoke come out of the a how cool was he I remember that I remember you told me that told you this was the crew so I knew all these [ __ ] scroll down to the all right this kid here is no up up that kid there was David black we graduated together and I knew him after the fact and one night he came into Joe Mar he's like do you got a call you got to give me a ride if you give me a ride I'll give you a rock all right we gave him a ride he gets out of the car West y about 3 minutes later he comes running back bleeding with his hair pulled I go what happened he goes I went and robbed my sister I mean he was serious he had Coke rocks for everybody a chunk of his [ __ ] hair she caught him on the way out as he was pulling out of the window and she just took he was bleeding the sister he robbed his sister through the window oh my God his teral this is cocaine was this is 83 dog at 3 in the morning you asked me for a ride I got to do what I got to do you know thinking how crazy that statement is [ __ ] crazy Joey I wish you could do your own Stand By Me like God my [ __ ] god this is Jo who is this why is his head so small when I got this picture I nearly which one the Filipino kid no this guy on the left that kid's like a m gazillion now his family owns a tow truck company in northern New Jersey New York City if so you get towed his family is the one that owns it I swear to God
I believe you this is [ __ ] crazy [ __ ] here I believe you it's [ __ ] crazy man some sent somebody sent me this yesterday while I was eating dinner wow and I almost had a [ __ ] heart attack the friend go what I found looking through yearbooks and that's when I was an innocent no I was smoking dope then I was no innocent then I was smoking dope I was finger banging people played hoop you can still be innocent and finger it was just me and my mom at the house yeah yeah I was okay I was okay I wasn't crazy I smoked my first reefer when I was 15 I I I ganked it from my dad and uh I had no idea how strong it was and we rolled a joint and me and my friend Josh and this girl that I was dating we smoked this [ __ ] and we smoked way too much for 15 year- olds whatever we were and we wound up waking up in various parts of the house like blink like blink I've it's never happened to me before but like blink all of a sudden I'd be on the couch blink all of a sudden I'd be in front of the refrigerator like blink all the time in between the blinks missing wow just arriving places like waking up in a bedroom no short-term memory not just no short-term memory it's like my tape gets cut like the the the events between those two did not exist I get so high I had zero memory so I would what I would think it was was I got so high that I would say you know what I need to just get into the kitchen and maybe get something to eat and maybe it'll calm this down so my brain spools up that it's got to figure out to remember to get to the kitchen to eat cuz I'm that high and then in between during the walking I forget everything so then boom all of a sudden I wake up and I'm in front of the refrigerator going what the [ __ ] and she was doing it too my girlfriend at the time and my friend was doing it my friend Josh was doing it too we were all [ __ ] it was it scared me off of weed for a long time scared me off of weed for a long time I didn't smoke weed again for several years after that the first time you get high you really don't get that Zed it's the second or third time and then you like you're outside you really start to understand that you end up in a bowling alley buying the chocolate milk you know
you're sitting there that's why I went and ate we had french fries and and chocolate milk have you ever had that happen where you felt like you woke up in plac first the first I remember the first two or three years I just smoked you know like Duncan what are you doing Friday night nothing my mom's leaving perfect I'm going to call Joe when I come home with some weed I don't know bro my brother found out last time he's going to rrap me out all right [ __ ] it we'll smoke in your yard and we'll go and listen to Pink Floyd The I mean that's not even though the wall wasn't even out yet we listen to the beetle Sergeant peppers like that's it like we get together and roll a joint in those days I used to have a glass you went to East West this head shop and there was a tube and it had it was like a flute with this open but it had a hole and you put the joint in there and you put your finger at the end Joe light it and You' light the joint and I'd suck it in I'd hold it the back and then it was like that's it that was your carburetor when you smoked one of those you got zuned that's was it and then we'd sit around and we'd all have money you know like what do you want to do how much you got a dollar a quarter what do you got $3 I got four let's go to Nicks and you walk to the pizza place remember and you don't you just talk stupidity and you look at each other do I look high no you think Nick will say I'm high no he's no I'm high come on do I look high no no but Vine it was a [ __ ] it was tremendous then you had to get in the house and walk past your mother yes and that was the night your mother decided to make cookies so now you had to look and talk to her whatever that's that's why you smoke pot dog because it brought something different to your life at 13 it made you feel [ __ ] alive how cool was it like I always want to do right now forget about anything I would love to get 60 people and chairs and couches and just [ __ ] come out on stage and give everybody a joint and the table in the Middle with joints and just do time till all those joints are gone well you know there's a couple places you they're going to start having those Inver guarante the only problem is it's against health code to be able to be smoking in a public place we just want to crack jokes dog and bring it back to
when you were 14 and you all sat around and listen to it something I said on that one album with uh with the white up you know we had great arms and I was growing up a bicentennial [ __ ] all those arms were brilliant and you'd sit around with 60 your buddies and you listen to George Carlin or red fox come on you know you can't that's that's what taught us that's what hooked us that was it just that feeling of listen to this what this [ __ ] is saying listen to his language we don't know anybody who talks like that yeah even George Carlin he was so [ __ ] hip I remember still listening to Lenny Bruce and like being like eight and like turning it off like [ __ ] hiding and going that's what was the first standup you got exposed to Richard Bri the nigga's crazy why know meets Dracula push me over the [ __ ] top drooling crying like Mommy I gotta tell you this joke and then putting it on and going back and tell them and Y don't Adit the curses y don't Adit the curses wow and then you learned I you know at all that age I wasn't into [ __ ] the black dude that everybody's supposed to like Bill Cosby no I was with George Carlin Richard PR man for me later it was later it was Bill Cosby Cosby for me was the first that was my first my parents had an album and it was um it was Noah having a conversation with god you ever hear that Noah in the ark Noah having a conversation with god yeah I vaguely remember it's [ __ ] great man I mean it's great he's a totally different style than any of us and I I I don't think he's right in when he like he he gets mad at people for using certain language and you know like there's a Wan AES interviewed him once and uh he like criticized her language like how she you know phrased a question to him I'm like oh come on man but as a as a comedian like the dude's topnotch he's extremely conservative he's very he's a very conservative he's very conservative well you know what he is he's a super successful man that had to be incredibly driven to get to where he was and he's not tolerating any mediocrity or what he perceives to be mediocrity in any form whether it's language or behavior or the use of you know use of swear words or fun guy yeah that's unfortunate I um uh my first experience with standup was I was I
can't I was very young my parents had a record player I put Bill Cosby on and and would play it and when you're a kid you don't have an immune system for comedy because you've never heard it before so the first time you hear it it knocks you on your ass cuz it's so funny you can't stop laughing you don't have the defense mechanisms it's a brand new thing you're hearing a whole new Rhythm a whole new way of Storytelling is always the funniest thing you've ever heard I can remember laying there and not being able to breathe just like clutching my stomach because it was so funny and it was like the the his joke that I remember from from this album was the one about getting drunk just it was just this whole story about throwing up and getting drunk and getting yeah yeah yeah yeah well he had that great bit about the the son at the the football game that the dad works out with the sun does all this thing with the sun and then finally you know the cameras turn on him and he's like hi Mom yeah had one that the one that I got hooked on the one Mia ganked he got that's the one that really [ __ ] menia up that that one really [ __ ] him up which one was the Cosby one cuz the that's that's sacred ground I mean as far as stand comedians in my opinion there's five six sacred Comedians and Cosby's one of the Sacred ones sure no doubt about it he's a he's a alltime genius you know there's you can't talk [ __ ] about him but what an odd decision to steal a Bill Bill Cosby joke he [ __ ] up he you know we've we've said a lot of things about that guy over the years menia you know I I honestly hope he's got his [ __ ] together you know I wish him well I don't have uh we don't have to play that dude the buck buck joke with the blue thing is one really flip comedy for me he does a bit about playing buck buck and he sits on a stool M and he doesn't move and anybody who ever played Buck buuck knows it's a moving game right he sold me in my mind and that's when I learned the other phase of comedy by that time I was maybe 16 or 17 but guess who I was into at that point Who David lman letman when letman first came on that's so weird when let [ __ ] tell me about it when letman first hit TV I was a senior in
high school and the first time I watched letman I was gone really like that style of something and then I watched him from 18 to like 23 you know whenever I was home at 11: when I wasn't coked up or in jail or whatever stupidity I was doing to not in jail and then I didn't watch him again but I knew that style when he would come up and do his monologue in the beginning I dug him like I [ __ ] just was sold and I found out he was at the comedy store and pry was at the comedy store and I started putting all the pieces together wow and already I had heard the guy from Mor and Mindy was a joke Thief he's a [ __ ] joke Thief yeah we heard about that you follow me right so I heard that already and then again way before I was going to be a [ __ ] comic not even thought I went to cats that dude and we've said this already on here want to see the dude from Boston that's very witty Stephen stepen right right yeah he went my friend won tickets to the radio in Boulder at the big thing on South Boulder we went he was brilliant his material was brilliant I was blown away wow he didn't [ __ ] curse really towards the end that's a different style yeah you know and and all of a sudden I went to see him a year later and did the same material and I was dis and I said to myself if I was ever a comic I wouldn't do the same [ __ ] material I think he has a real problem with that act it's a it's such a narrow window that he can write material in you know what the things he could write about everything has to be absurd everything has to be like a little flip on things you know yeah I yeah I I love Comics like that like him and Mitch like they're amazing but I think it must feel a little claustrophobic to get stuck in that form like stepen Wright I guess he can't just come out and start doing tell a long story cuz people will be like what the [ __ ] man what if he did it with like a lot of energy he's like and I was like lady what the [ __ ] you talk and everybody's like whoa whoa whoa where's that mellow guy yeah yeah that so I think that sucks kind of to get stuck or get pigeon hold in that one form I once worked at a fire hydron Factory could park anywhere near the place yes yes that's a classic Steven Wright that's that's that
style in a lot of ways very uh headban hurg style is kind of like that too like real real odd [ __ ] so good I love all that [ __ ] my favorite hurg one is well it's one of my favorites he goes somebody asked me if I wanted a frozen banana I said no but I want a regular banana later so yes you're like what can you imagine if somebody wrote that down for you if you're hiring a guy to write jokes listen fella I'm going to give you 200 an hour write me some snippy material I really need to kill him at the club tonight and he reads that ask guy asked me if I want a frozen banana what the [ __ ] am I supposed to do with this guy asked me if I want a frozen banana I say no but but I want a regular banana later so yes what the [ __ ] are you what the [ __ ] am I paying you to write Jesus Christ you piece of [ __ ] but meanwhile it's brilliant it comes out of head Brooks the one about Double Tree how did they name that what do you want to call the place two trees Double Tree meeting adjourned it's his stuff was and his stuff never connected like what we do is like we have a subject it's so much easier the way we do comedy because you have a subject and like like your subject like the the Liberace bit that you're doing now you start on he'll start on that Liberace movie and he could talk about that [ __ ] movie for 15 minutes it's a whole series of hilarious things that exist inside of this one subject but if you're a Mitch Hedberg guy it's like you essentially you're talking about one thing and then you're talking about Oreo cookies and then you're talking about you know heroin whatever and all the bullet you got to have in your gun man you've got to have such a so many jokes for an hour set if your each of your jokes is 8 seconds yeah and they're all non-connected yeah but meanwhile Hedberg would just pump it out man he pumped out a lot of [ __ ] he constantly was writing that guy was like one of the most prolific guys you know like you always heard about him writing a lot of material yeah I heard somebody say they would write with him and they would go meet him to write and they would have like one maybe one shitty halfth thought out joke written down and he would have
like 20 just hilarious jokes he just he's one of those Comics that it just pours out of him is that you breathing in the mic Jesus Christ I don't know what it is what with the [ __ ] questions you see I'm over here to the guil you I'm listening to my ears Darth Vader in the background I'm to the dild he had that style down he figured out his perfect Style and that's a great example of why you can never really teach comedy you know I thought about doing remember we talked about doing this at the store like doing something in the belly room well I was I was going to call it like a Comics workshop and the idea was like you really can't like anyone who's like a real legitimate comic could go and and do it for free you can't pay for that you can't charge people for comedy classes it just seems too [ __ ] weird it just seems too strange it's like that's the entire opposite of the feeling of comrad that we're supposed to be giving each other we're not supposed to be taking money from each other like that we don't feed off of each other what we should be doing is promoting the arst standup you know if somebody wants to take a course and they're not a comedian they just want to find out what it's like and sit in then I could see maybe charging them but someone who's actually a comedian trying to be a comedian there's that so the idea of teaching a class kind of goes against the whole way of you know the the the whole way of camaraderie that we we all uh enjoy but it's also that you can't teach people how to do comedy you can only give them advice as to maybe how you would do it or maybe if they shortened things up or had less words well it's it's a little bit like what you're it's funny I'm sorry to cut you off it's funny what you're saying reminds me a lot of uh what people say about like Buddhism or uh uh spirituality is that they they they they say you know you can't read this this isn't something like you can read all you want but it's not going to teach you it's the practice of the thing itself that teaches you so like when I went when I went down to hang out with to this Romos Retreat and there was this Zen roshi there this this woman who's been practicing Zen for like I don't know her whole life basically and she
said that the teacher does not give the student Enlightenment but sets the conditions creates a good condition for realization so in the same way I think you could have a comedy class but the comedy class isn't something where you tell someone here's how you hold the mic and here's the way you write a joke and here's how you get booked at clubs it's more like here's an environment that is conducive to coming up with ideas and jokes some kind of free form chaotic place where people would just get together and and I guess you know get to be around people like you or like you know Cosby or big Comics because somehow just being around a very funny person for a little bit of time can teach you so much but the actual mechanics of the thing the technical aspects of it that's I think where comedy classes are I'm going to tell you something I'm going to tell you this sincerely from my heart that as you were saying it and Joe was going to agree with me because we're both on the same page I would have loved if somebody would take him my hand in the beginning and walk me through a lot of things and there's a lot of things that I could take a new comic that we all three of us all four of us everybody in the room could take a new comic and walk him around for a couple weeks with him 3 4 weeks and explain this after that it's like anything else man you got to figure it out on your own I got to because that's part of the journey yep that's part of your happiness that's going to what's going to make you happy later well not only that you two guys are a perfect example of it you two are two of my best friends and you're also two of my favorite comedians thank you and you're both completely [ __ ] different and I I I love watching both of you perform equally you're both totally different totally different totally different styles but yet both awesome you know why because you're really you and you're really you it's that simple you're not playing we all know the poor people that are stuck putting together like an act and they're kind of pretending to be someone they're not and we know those folks and it's it's a terrible rut to be in you know artistically as a person whatever we you guys aren't in that spot so because of that you're allowed to figure out and I don't know if that's ever going to be
you you almost have to struggle uniquely and individually to get to to to become a dunan trussle it's almost like if you if you get advice like they're never going to figure out that this is possible that that you could be you like if you met with someone when you were 20 years old and they like d what would you like to do someday I would like to smoke pot play video games i' would like to write about my penis I would like to go on stage and make people laugh and that's really it they'd be like well okay kill yourself that's that's cute but let's think realistically Duncan what about your real future instead of saying oh so many people have done that before this no no one is ever going to be able to figure out how to make a dunan trussle except dunan trussle well I think some people I think some I think comedians there are tendencies in comedians there are similarities in comedians right wouldn't you say there's there's things in comics not not Material wise but there are aspects of comedians that are all seem to be the same one is they're they tend to be very anti-authoritarian so you like when when you tell them what to do when you tell them this is what you have to do they they inevitably want to reject that overcome it disrupt it make fun of it and and I think that tendency starts when you're really young and if that tendency is in you you're going to have a hard [ __ ] time anyway getting a regular job because it's so such an affront like I can remember listening I in in college there was a career class we had to go to and I can remember sitting there and listening to the guy talk about having to wear suits and talking about the way you talk to your boss and talking about the way to um be polite in the workplace and I I don't know I said some you know what happens when you listen to that guy you wind up at a restaurant with your date and some [ __ ] actor starts telling your date that she's an old soul and you just take it yes without [ __ ] slapping that dude yes exactly that's because that they turn you you're right the essence of the thing is just lay on your belly and submit to the master just the very same thing that when you see a mother dog like U our dog had puppies and I remember watching the mother dog play
with the puppies and part of the thing it seemed like she was teaching them was to like show their belly to like turn turn over on their belly that's the essence of the [ __ ] thing it's like uh obedience subservience submission well it's the only way you're ever going to get by in life with a regular job the only way to get by in life if you want to move your way up the corporate ladder you have to follow the rules you can't tell dirty jokes at work you can't try to get laid you can't try to play pranks on people there's no room for creativity you're there from 9 to5 you punch in you punch out I think these are that's not all places though man I just saw oh no it's certainly not like Google I saw pictures of like somebody working in Google and they were laying in a box of colored balls on their laptop that's amazing I don't think it's I don't think it's all places it's an old school model it's an old school model which is that it's based on feudalism it's based on the King show obedience to the King show obedience to your boss or your teacher yeah Google is the perfect example of how to do a corporation you know I mean we joke around about them being Skynet but the real the reality of Google is they've managed in a short period of time to keep a lot of [ __ ] employees happy they have a huge business they own everything they've got Maps they've got [ __ ] music they've got their own operating system for phones they developed their own browser I mean Jesus [ __ ] Christ is anybody ever kicked ass on the internet the way Google has it's and yet they're really cool to their employees if you go there their employees got [ __ ] foosball tables and [ __ ] and really good food and they can you know they have a real comfortable working environment I have a friend who works there there's a dude that works there who's a decided at work he wants to be a girl so he's a guy he's married he's got kids but at work he puts on women's clothes and they they change the title his title at work to what his girl name is what the [ __ ] yeah then and they're like okay is we they they're so open-minded they're not like Bob is there something going on man like you know all of a sudden you're wearing a Dr instead of any of that there's none of that they're like okay well Helen um pleasure to meet you Helen if I met you
before I have met you before but I met you as Bob okay so now well pleasure to meet you as Helen so let's from let's take it from here on where Helen except dinner parties when they go out at night and he brings his wife then he dresses like a man yeah like if he has functions or anything then he's a man and he's married he has a wife and they're so open-minded they're like okay as long as he does his job not putting you on at all wait this is your friend or this is a no no no my friend is my friend I thought was your friend I'm like in the same environment as this person that's all cool to you slip and fall in the bathroom TI to sue Google and they're like suo then you wear a dress in [ __ ] work you want to sue me you wanted to wear a dress [ __ ] you better get your [ __ ] together pack your pencil that's what happens when your heels don't fit you imagine what the [ __ ] you wear a [ __ ] dress to work some Reas going to say something eventually I mean well the shoes alone would be reason to not be a woman if I was a woman I would even if I was like a really sexy like uh heterosexual woman I think I would dress like a man I think I think this is like the most comfortable way to move around you know Converse All Star pair of jeans nice comfortable shirts why you wearing those shoes with those crazy shoes you wear and you can't walk in yeah the I you know one thing that is probably certain but I guess I'll find out in a second is that those [ __ ] shoes were not invented by a woman right like whoever invented high heels wasn't a wasn't no person was like you know what I'm going to put myself in uncomfortable stilts that warp my feet I'm G to I'm going to put myself in the most uncomfortable Sho wear I can't drink yeah it probably is a chick probably wasn't it's no a lot of people like foot bindings there's a whole history of like uh I meant to say isn't a chick I meant to say while Jimmy chew is a woman did you know that who Jimmy chew that's like a big one with with the gals they love the Jimmy chew shoes Jimmy chw is actually a woman woman created that yeah but if you look at the history of them let's let's invent let's find out think you be a patent on that this is why I hate Google you as a stoner any of your
stupid ideas can instantly be shot down my friend ate it using wearing high heels the other day just tore her knee wide open because of the stupid high heels shoes yeah they [ __ ] name dous man it's like especially when you're walking around the street and there's cracks in the sidewalk and weird [ __ ] and divots yeah you can't walk in those things [ __ ] you can't work in those things okay where does it say invention history history of he history you've haunted me with those feet shoed Joe I see them like every day now they're great if you wore them you would wear well you're so funny to talk [ __ ] because you're wearing slippers right now you're wearing slippers like you just stepped out of some Russian bath house when they give you give you one of those those massages where they beat you with the the sticks like like Fedor used to do they ba and they [ __ ] slap you with that thing shoes are comy I bet they are comfy but that's what it looks like are you shuffling out in the middle of the winter and some Soviet Union gear headed to the B yeah to get slapped men massaged naked or an Alzheimer's patient who's slipped out the back door is lost in a city yeah all right the first instance of the wear of high heels involved 15 1933 marriage between Katherine de merti and the Duke of Orleans she wore heels Made in Florence for her wedding and as a result Italian high heels became the norn for the ladies in the Duke's Court in France unfortunately this reference may be a [ __ ] apocryphal apocryphal as the development of heels did not begin to come about until the late 1580s based on an iconographic Evidence and so somewhere around the 18 the the 15 um 80s 1530 and 1580 I heard it's because uh everything used to be covered in [ __ ] and a lady didn't want to get her feet in [ __ ] puddles and so you would try to use the high heels to like push the feet out of the [ __ ] doesn't make sense because the toes down the toes still getting caked and [ __ ] better the toes in the entire foot really if I have to choose between how much of anything I want covered in [ __ ] I'm going to pick the small I'll go with my heels I'd rather have [ __ ] on my heel and in between my little cute little toes Piggies why would you want to get your Piggies all dirty my Piggies Walling
around [ __ ] [ __ ] so what would that look like reverse high heels that'd be a really weird yeah I see if you have like some Jean Simmons style kiss boots you know go Dr Love they call me Dr Love with teeth walking through the [ __ ] yeah that was the the cause of a lot of disease back in the day was the poor sewer systems and the the the rotting bodies and all sorts of other things they had to deal with when people died just a river of [ __ ] man yeah and people would also like the like especially during times of War like their Rivers would get clogged up with bodies you know and the bodies would rot and then if you drank river water with rotting bodies in it you'd get sick as [ __ ] and possibly die this is why when people say oh look these shootings are happening today it's like you used to watch dead blown up bodies Roll by your home you used to when you walked outside would walk up to your ankles and plague diarrhea yeah it sucks that people are getting shot right now but it's nothing like what it used to be it's definitely nothing like what it used to be but the numbers are so high that it seems like it's never ending it's a torrent because we're really not supposed to be paying attention to 7 billion people at the same time that's what I think yeah or are we or are we or is this going to be how we fix it is this going to be where people don't get ignored anymore where you really have to take and pay attention to the assets of every single human being like assets meaning you know you as a person an asset to civilization that all of them have to be accounted for and if they're not if they they feel disenfranchised that's when you're going to have problems when they feel left out when they feel avoided you're going to have [ __ ] problems people don't get the love that they need from from the jump on top of all the real serious mental illnesses that can plague people that just happen well I knew a dude who went crazy you remember the dud the Todd do you remember the Todd you don't remember the Todd oh I yes I actually met him the Todd is responsible for me getting into the store wow because when I was doing remember him friends with Paulie great guy man he was uh a comic and he was on uh MTV back in the day and he had been in and I went up and I did a spot and mity she like she gave me
non-paid regular status which means I could go on after the show was over so I would go there every night wait till like 1:00 in the morning and get on and you know it was all right it was better than nothing you know I was happy to have that but then I got a second chance to audition for her a couple months after that and the Todd sat next to her on purpose and just laughed and laughed and he kept like slapping the table and saying that I was funny cuz like sometimes mity needs to hear from other people too yes she's like he's brilliant me was half of the same material I did three months before yeah but I was better then I'm sure I'd more gotten more comfortable with being at the store and I'm sure I was nervous the first time also I think she also had her ear to the ground and if you were coming in there every night she knew like she knew it and she knew that was like part of a sign that somebody had potential I think it it was more than just that instantaneous watching thing I think it's a combination of sort of but the Todd actually set me hip that that's been used before and he told me that that's the way I should get my friends in too so that's what I started doing like when Maguire um did it I sat right next to miny and laughed hard at Maguire you know anybody whoever like was performing for her I would make sure I sat right next to her and laughed man was that not the weirdest [ __ ] [ __ ] thing sitting next to mity and then watching the comics come up and like literally bow to her like Comics would come up old school cult leader Guru style bow down touch her like try to touch her and then and she would do the Mitsy woid you remember that back this thing get out of here okay okay honey I'm watching a show are you talking about Todd r r no who's that he's a musician why are we talking about him what are you talking about he was from back me tell what oh no no no no no you want me to tell about Todd rungan he was married to the chick what's what's what's Tyler's what's the Ty Tyler his daughter oh Liv Tyler Liv Tyler's mother was living with that dude okay and the mother took her to see Aeros Smith and L Tyler turned around and told the mother that's my father for years
they had raised her thinking it was Todd rungren whoow but it was really stepen Tyler but she wanted her to figure it out true story bro Todd rin's a bad [ __ ] he's got some badass jams you know you've heard his jams what is his songs we wish could play some yeah you can just look up the names of what's Tod [ __ ] you can the [ __ ] you can dude if they can prove that you're making money off of it you absolutely can't one thing one thing I think there's something called fair use how's it work uh I think that if you listen to Duncan he ain't got no legal experience yes he does he he went on legal zoom.com bu yeah don't listen to me this is Stoner [ __ ] coming I smell it fair use I just I heard that if you're making a um commentary over a thing it's there's some kind of like area where it is okay to like reprint stuff but it has it's not in really and I think you can do like there's seconds like you can do like 10 seconds or something it's all interesting that's interesting I wish it would could released the Ice House Chronicles with we were talking about uh about um the what I feel is the greatest guitar solo in the history of music free bird I don't think anything can [ __ ] with Freebird and we were playing Freebird and we're just getting into the song about how crazy it was that there's these dirty stinky long-haired dudes from Florida who were making this insane music and all their songs were about getting away from girls right all their songs like a huge percentage of songs like I got to be free they call me the breeze I'm out the door [ __ ] you take care they call me the breeze all their [ __ ] songs are about getting away give me two steps I mean everything is like I got to get the [ __ ] out of this town this [ __ ] got crazy what's your name I'll be back next year you know it's so funny that we were writing songs about this ancient evolutionary thing encoded in our genetics which is that you want to put as much DNA into as many people as you can but now like people are actually like probably monkey would seem sing the same song if they could any kind of primate would like is kind of stuck in that awful predicament of like having a genetic predisposition to spray jizz into as many holes as possible it's just in there and then
also the need to like H start a family and love someone and be monogamous that's one of like the great internal Wars that is Raging around the world right now is people trying to figure out how to deal with those how to reconcile how do you reconcile that [ __ ] yeah you have well that's also I think there's a certain amount of conflict that sort of ensures movement it ensures a lot of activity and when you have two systems that are dueling it out one trying to dominate the other one trying to find a way through whether it's through certain new words that they introduce into the lexon whether it's or the language whether it's the way they you know how they interact with each other but what they're trying to do is everyone's trying to get a little bit ahead men are trying to get a little bit ahead of women women are trying to get a little bit ahead of men women who feel suppressed we try to suppress others men who feel suppressed we try to do the same and there's this crazy battle going on and I think it's almost like designed that way well it's a culture of dishonesty don't forget you're not allowed to say these things this is but it's also the culture that produces the most stuff creatively it's very strange yeah I think that's a very positive spin on man but imagine like and but I should say right now that's not to Discount any of the Europeans Japanese Asians whatever all the people all over the world that do creative [ __ ] right but there's a certain there's no real there's no denying the fact that United States is responsible for an insane amount of influential pop culture from the 1950s to the present insane amounts the of course the Europeans of course the Beetles and the stones and of course the who of course there's no that there was a million of them from the UK as well but when you count in standup comedy when you count in music all different kinds of music we there's a lot of weird [ __ ] that came out of the United States but do you think that's you're saying that that's coming from it's almost sexual repression there might be something to that the need to conquer the need to conquer the crazy genetics that led to these people being willing to get in ships and go halfway across the [ __ ] world in a boat with [ __ ] barrels of food that might be
for everybody to eat and you might not get scurvy and you don't even have a [ __ ] video that you can watch of what this place where you're going to try to live in looks like and you're go over there with your kids yeah those are savages those people were [ __ ] crazy so you have that you have the legacy of these people and that's a part of it like this this this desire to just move forward they're willing to take the most risks in order to get to America in the first place I think the people coming right the people who came over here to I guess support your argument many of people who came over here were some of the most sexually repressed people on Earth because they were hardcore uh Christians this is like the Scarlet Letter this is like the body was something to be reviled but I don't I don't know if it's the repression that is made that brings inspiration that that that's never I've never been in a you know what maybe it is though cuz I can think of like times where you're like super horny or or like lonely and that that does produce think about music man yeah where's music coming from where's the greatest music coming from it's coming from [ __ ] pain man coming from [ __ ] pain the blues baby oh man there's some there's some classic song You're My Favorite mistake you ever heard that Cheryl Crow song godamn tremendous guitar first godamn that [ __ ] could sing she had this like soft warm voice it's like a hug that you get through your ears it's like this loving voice that she has and she's talking about this relationship that's just falling apart and that you're my favorite mistake and you heal the hear the emotions and the love through her voice you got to have pain to feel that man you got to have pain to understand it you got to have pain to be able to relate to it you've got to experienced that if you're some fresh-faced pup who's never skid his knee and never had a a family member die you don't know what the [ __ ] the possibilities of the world are you can't appreciate the full spectrum because you don't know how low the lows can get your lows are pretty [ __ ] high so when you do hit a low it makes you appreciate the days that are high you know I was just reading this um I'm reading this book called um Spirit cutting through spiritual materialism
and it's by this Tibetan monk named choim trumpa who um was just writing about this thing that you're saying and he was saying disappointment disappointment is one of the great states to be in to uh for for uh growth and for spirituality because disappointment means you're having a contact with truth it generally means you're having a contact with truth something has gone against your expectation which is how the universe works and then you find yourself in what he describes as like just the rocky terrain of Truth so now the relationship that you thought might work out but you knew it wouldn't it didn't or your mom has died or you're you just put your dog to sleep now you're experiencing reality you're experiencing the fact that you are in a melstrom of atoms that tend that will inevitably dissipate into nothingness and that is a really intense [ __ ] place to be in but he doesn't say stay in a place of disappointment he says that to move past that place into the next place which is the incredible peace and joy that comes from recognizing that you're part of this infinite non-ending changing beautiful thing you've got to recognize the first part which is you're not going to last nothing nothing's going to last no one you know is going to survive this thing everything that you've ever said will be lost in time we are all part of an infinite shifting changing thing and what's causing you the problems is your desire to hold on to a form to hold on to the idea of this is who I am this is how things are always going to be this is going to last forever that conception will always cause you pain if you have a hangover no if you're having a terrible trip and you start thinking I'm going to be freaking out forever man that will only make the trip worse and if you're with someone you love and you think I'm going to be with this person forever you're setting yourself up for some pretty severe disappointment because you won't and so that disappointment that comes from realizing that that's the place where you start growing har Krishna I just got I just got disappointed why you freaking me out dunk trussle [ __ ] with me dunk [ __ ] with my head dunk and trussle I walked in here the sun was up I don't
think we all need [ __ ] Elon John song there's a there's an old expression that a man learns from the mistakes of others a fool learns from his own yes you know and I I think that I don't know know if we need to have massive [ __ ] chaos for people to understand and appreciate how cool life can be but it helps and the people that I know that are the most interesting all had [ __ ] up lives all of us we all had [ __ ] up lives none of nobody here in this room was on The Brady Bunch well it gets you out there man it's like you know you always hear about people who it's who get cancer and then all of a sudden they're skydiving they're like running from the Bulls they're doing anything they want they're tell they're telling the truth they're telling the truth and that's really that's really um I think that's like a that's a that's a tragic thing in the sense that for people to actually start appreciating their existence they have to be uh dying you know dying is in within a year we're all dying but it's like suddenly when you wake up to the fact that you're dying that's when you actually are born and a lot of people don't get that yeah there's that wakeup call there's that that reality check when this is the real game this is the real [ __ ] man and you're really affecting people well it's so easy to get complacent it's so easy to just get lazy it's so easy to just look at life and not appreciate the [ __ ] out of this crazy ride we're on yeah especially us we're we're on the craziest ride of all the the ride of the professional comedian you know we get drugs from the audience we tell jokes and they give us drugs like the drug of laughter that's a drug we're all addicted to it the drug of killing you know man I think it's a crazy ride but I think the whole if you have been blasted out of a [ __ ] onto this planet you're having a crazy ride everyone you are there's no way to not have a crazy ride and and and the thing just yawned and Brian put it on camera why you talking to me about rise dck trussle I'm going to ride back home to my bed you keep talking [ __ ] [ __ ] you you two [ __ ] hippies you just started smoking weed a week ago yeah he would say that for the first like 10 years Joe Rogan you've been smoking weed for a year you've been
smoking weed for 2 years Joe Rogan you've been smoking weed for 3 years shut the [ __ ] up Joe Rogan it's only been 10 years you don't even know about weed yet four more years then you understand the Nuance the subtleties years [ __ ] s is the B years Rogan it's been [ __ ] half your life there's a whole half of your life you did without weed so shut the [ __ ] up you did and all yeah it's amazing what you did do without the weed like now they shut it off for a while God God see what would really happen yeah God praise Eddie Bravo praise Zeus and praise Odin for Eddie Bravo because if it wasn't for him I would have never started smoking weed right I thought it was for losers that'd be so weird to see the difference in your life yeah I'd probably be like way more aggro it's um it's a beneficial substance man and that's the real problem that I have with people that want to go on and on about people who are addicted to it like you know I love Dr Drew I think he's a good person I really do but whenever I hear him talk about people being addicted to weed I'm like let's get all those people that are addicted to in the room and find out what the [ __ ] else is going on right I guarantee you you you shouldn't blame weed it's not a physically addictive thing I always feel something I always feel that you have an addictive personality you know we discussed when you were on the Kong what the what's the name Quake Quake I remember we you were dropping this on me and I'm like where's this coming from Joe and you were like do you don't know when I used to leave you guys at the store i' go home and I play till 7:00 in the morning and and and for people to recognize that that's where that's where the gift comes in because somebody would write that off like that's just what he does every [ __ ] night till 7 in the morning and it's weird how I've always believed especially for me it's always been the transfer of addictions MH okay and and at the end of the game here's this the simplest way to solu it if you're going to have a [ __ ] addiction you might as well let it be the cheapest and the less harmful and in my eyes it's always been the weed you know it makes me better at night when I write it makes me know calms me down the daytime you know whatever I make it believe that
it does it [ __ ] does yeah but it's not to make believe thing I know you I see what happens when you get high well first of all I never see you sober no you seen me sober three times no you SE me I documented them I wrote them down believe Joey Diaz is sober then I look at his pocket he's got empty chichu rappers I might be incorrect sober is a relative term it's a but it's really weird like sometimes I go you know what Monday I'm not going to smoke nothing though nothing and by Tuesday is not like I'm jonesing I'll just find myself with a joint at 5: in the afternoon when I'm writing something more but I like it guys out of all the addictions whether it's going to strip clubs drinking gambling I could have been hooked on a thousand [ __ ] things we ended up with reer I enjoy it as a ritual I enjoy it as a ritual before I write I enjoy it as a ritual like before we do podcast I I I like it as a ritual I like it it's like signifies that we're we're going to shut off our phones and get into this space whether it's a space of doing standup or the space of writing or the space of doing a podcast I like it in that way but I also like the effects the effects are undeniable man for me this that introspective aspect of it that you talked about earlier is so important very important I've been talking about it on stage the the the term paranoia you know the people like I don't like weed it makes me paranoid I'm like you really should be paranoid if you're paying attention if you really want to just open yourself up to all the possibilities it's insane out there everywhere you go you're a bag of blood a fleshy bag that's holding a couple of gallons of blood and if any of it spills out you're [ __ ] doomed and you're running around in metal boxes everybody's flying by going 60 plus miles an hour they don't know what the [ __ ] they're doing they're running over motorcycles you see that [ __ ] in New York you see that [ __ ] you see that [ __ ] motorcycles the motorc well hey there was some craziness that went on I don't know who started what or who did what but I know that that dude ran over I'm going to bet it was the bikers could have been however how he handled it might have been incorrect also I don't know what happened the guy the guy um got apparently someone slowed down in
front of him and he bumped the bike and then the guy stopped his bike and the the the the the assumption is that the guy did it on purpose being a dick that he was trying to box in this guy in the truck and make him slow down we also don't know what their interaction was before this video started we don't know if this had been going on for a while like maybe the the biker panicked and cut someone off the biker was an Asian driver I'm not saying I'm not saying I'm not saying that Asian drivers are terrible but a lot of Asian drivers are terrible are we are we are we in agreement on this yeah but that doesn't mean a it's not that all of them are terrible but that is the goddamn stereotype okay and I'm not saying that this guy's responsible the goddamn stere no it's it's like 99.9% it's the goddamn stereotype I've never heard that and it's not it's not 100% true of course just like it's not 100% true that all Italians beat their wives okay but that and me being Italian I can say that but the but the reality is is that this guy we in the video drives over they're they're yelling at him and he drives over this bike and drives over a guy and broke his body I mean the guy he drove over him with the [ __ ] SUV yeah I don't know if that had to have happened I don't know I don't know what happened before that I certainly think it's a terrible tragedy on both ends that the guy in the car got beat up and that the guy got ran over it's a terrible tragedy but besides my my horrible racist Asian joke which I apologize for profusely I was just joking around and making a point but I don't know what happened I really don't know what happened so but what I'm looking at I'm look I look at a guy who drove over somebody and then I looked at another guy went insane and beat the guy's window in like he while he has a baby in the car so to me it says tragedy on both sides it's a tragedy it's a tragedy of over over reacting on both sides for sure a horrible tragedy yeah sucks horrible tragedy the guy got pulled out of his car and beat up horrible tragedy the guy get pulled out his car beat pulled out he got beat up he got his face yeah well there was all this glass that broke too cuz the guy broke the window he's breaking the window with his helmet he's smashing the window with his helmet the
whole thing's crazy and Spike strip out did they really that's what I read what's a spike strip popped it popped his tires who threw it out the bikers they had a spike strip right that's what I read okay you are not Googling this you're not even trying to substantiate this Google it okay I will pull it up okay by ERS threw down Spike strip okay here we go you know I'm watching this and I'm thinking you know you your wife your kid what the [ __ ] what I know well there there also there was there was um um tinted window so they might not be able to see that this guy had his wife and his kid in the car um it doesn't say that Duncan I read it and they didn't have license plates on that things uh biker bra they popped his tires that's why I couldn't going no um apparently someone stabbed his tire that was one of the uh one of the that's not real Brian you can't trick me I know what a video game looks like you [ __ ] looks pretty goddamn good though look how good that looks isn't that amazing like the textures of the road it's so beautiful oh show the time lapse show have you seen that the time lapse of so F I'm never going to get into this game I I cannot do it because it's just too it looks like it's too good have you not have you not played it at all no I know me man I don't [ __ ] around I know me I'm crazy what about this Oculus Rift thing and Quake like I said I know me [ __ ] Quake is supposed to be Oculus Rift friendly or feel like all things I'm allowing myself out of all the things that that get me crazy addicted I'm allowing myself to just [ __ ] with pool because uh pool is I think I get something out of it that I don't get out of video games I get like a a body calmness cuz it's all about like meditating on the distance that the ball was going to go and calming yourself down and putting yourself into a very sensitive state where you're playing I don't get that from video games so when I looked at it objectively I'm like like Joey said you got addictions you know you got to pick which's the best one and for me the best one is pool come to your own thing how nice is it to go to a a I I mean I don't even like nice pool halls if I'm going to go to a pool hall I want to see it for what it is but I don't want stupidity like
hard times yeah I don't want you go to Hard Times with me you ever been hard times where have we gone we went to the old Hollywood Billiards which was awesome right we went to the place in New York City me 10 years ago 12 years ago in Manhattan then we went somewhere else that was Chelsea we went to Chelsea Billiards that was uh Chelsea bilard after yeah yeah Chelsea Billiards after I think it had already changed names Chelsea Billiards was the legendary place like sometimes you'll see me wear this jacket it's like a varsity jacket that says Chelsea billiards in the back you've seen that that at all alltime great pool halls for pool hustlers in action that's the greatest or one of the greatest is next to Hard Times in California one of the greatest in the history of the world that place was a 24-hour pool hall where half the people in there you go 3 o'cl in the morning half the people in there were vagrants that could rob you I mean rob you playing pool they could get out homeless dudes who knew how to [ __ ] get out they knew how to play safe they knew how to [ __ ] you up they would get you on those tables especially a g what they would call a gaff table there's a table where one pocket rolls to the right and if you know that pocket rolls to the right you can put someone in a position where they don't think they can make the ball but they can and you know it little [ __ ] things like you can scratch on shots where you don't think you can if you know a table especially what they call a gaff table it's it's huge very important if you're a pool player home team Advantage they would just Rob people they would Rob people but there was also like really high stakes gambling between like high level Pros too really interesting stuff to watch both the drunks getting robbed and then you know by the the the hustlers and then the the real big sharks come in and they would you know match up and put the money on the light and you know you're in the middle of [ __ ] New York City dude it's 4:00 in the morning dudes are playing for $10,000 and when you're a kid and you're watching that you know it's it's some exciting [ __ ] that was a part for me it was like being a part of this really rare underground society that I knew was not going to last very long like I'm
like this crazy 24-hour pool hall life where people are players and they're gambling they're bringing their own money and they're they're matching up and barking at each other you ain't got no heart and they're [ __ ] get and they're they're that's a crazy underground World these guys were making a living paying their bills completely Off the Grid no taxes no no one's no taxes stop stop stop I'm staying at this [ __ ] boarding house down the street this I'm in I'm in a house with 10 other dudes I got my pool queue I put it under my blanket when I sleep I get up in the morning and I go down to Chelsea and you're like whoa these guys were living there they were getting an education in this gangster life at this 24-hour pool hall I know several dudes who got arrested while I was playing there one dude who was a three- card Monty Champion he would he was a bad [ __ ] at three card Mony he's a slick Puerto Rican dude would go out and just have all these dumb white people from Nebraska that had never been to New York City before and he would be doing this three- card money [ __ ] and this is all before the internet and they couldn't you know they would come on right up here sir you look like a winner you look like you know how to play a game my friend come on over here dog how much money you got on you my friend my friend where you from you got a beautiful suit that's a beautiful suit is that is that Armani what is that bro yo that's beautiful Hey listen man this is a game called three car M we just like to have a little fun here in New York City especially people come in for the first time real simple real simple here's the and now they giving it to you Duncan they giving it to guess got give you couplee there bam there you go you would have just won some money and also there's a partner next to him so how do we do it you see the partner getting closer in yeah I got the black thing right he had a pee and Duncan he showing it to you and the next thing you know Duncan it all goes to hell well there's the cups and there's also three card money there's the cups where you're trying to whatever there three card money all a sudden the 20 goes down and the guy wins and the next 20 goes down again and the guy doubles his money and
that's it now he gets the guy from Nebraska to come in and throw 40 and he even wins and the wife is like do it again do it again cuz everybody wants to come to New York and you ever seen a guy try to walk away with the one Victory [ __ ] yo they will attack you so what they do they'd get that table going this is a table Duncan so right there they'd have two guys sucked in and one of their own so you'd be working with me and you're 20 you'd be doubling up you already won 120 this but I know I got three people in that I'm hypnotizing that I'm letting them know they're going to win they just come to New York you know what I got $200 in my pocket if I double it that's $400 I mean this is how you're thinking right there this is a Do or Die situation and all a sudden right there when they got you boom the black bam they take up 1,200 the Puerto Rican yells the police and they take that money and three tourists are like what the [ __ ] and they're gone just happened hey and the guy's got a carton like a bottom of a carton for cans and he just throws it up in the air that's it that's their resonance it's a carton that three cups are gone and the beans is in their [ __ ] mouth and they're walking on the street and there ain't no [ __ ] cops and they're all gone in different directions that's it and now they hook up again and hour lay at the same place and they do that same scam again they would do that five times make six grand that's how good it was I got caught in one one day with a buddy of mine they took me for a 20 the guy was yelling at me next you know the guys I was with laid out 20 a piece bam 60 bucks and next thing you know Boom the police they blow a whistle what's going on here the cops everybody runs they [ __ ] tremendous they got your money [ __ ] tremendous man you know when you made that turn on 42nd Street it was it was when you were 13 like or 12 it was something that Ari says that when you walk around today you walk past people you know and all of a sudden like they under their breath they'll go weed and like five feet you look around the other look at you and all they come back up to you it was completely different when you cut that corner on 42nd Street Duncan you'd hear every drug in the world weed marijuana THC joints loose joints acid aido you because that's ass
in Spanish aido [ __ ] aido [ __ ] marijuana heroin KOC pero [ __ ] a different goddamn if I was stupid rich like Bill Gates Rich yeah I would buy Chelsea Billiards and I would reinstate it I would bring it back I'd make it 24 hours a day I'd make it the last Bastion of the pool house is it open it's like some faux pool hall now where they have like red cloth and [ __ ] shiny lights and they play horrible music that makes you want to throw up if you go to a pool Hal and not playing classic rock turn around turn around and leave just if you walk in if you don't hear some Leonard skinnard some aosmith if you don't hear Sweet Home Alabama get out of there cuz they got red cloth and they're you're playing on buckets and no one's leveled these [ __ ] tables it's a disaster it's not real pool and the only dinner you could get is an old hamburger or [ __ ] a bag of fries the place that I used to play at in White Plains New Jersey or White Plains New York got turned into a disco it's basically a disco now it was executive Billiards executive billiards in White Plains right down the street from Nikki's Pizza the greatest white pizza the Earth has ever known if you want to if you want to get off your gluten-free diet go to [ __ ] White Plains New York go to Nikki's Pizza and get the white pizza it's got white cheese on it ricotta cheese with garlic and olive oil and it will knock your dick right into the cat litter box it's un unfuck unfuckin believably good that sounds bad it's better than better than dick in the dirt I was struggling for metaphor taking a cat litter boxs better than your dick in a pile of cat [ __ ] and piss those crumbs sticking to the tip of your helmet the uh the the place was like a great place back in the day in the 90s that was the spot like pool Hustlers would come in from all over the world they would come like they would make stops in New York if they were in the New York area there was a few places they would play and one of them was they would always check in at executive and you know if you were like my buddy owned the place so he'd be on the phone you know and they'd get a call you know in the in like the middle of the day you know he's polishing balls and [ __ ] and he get a call that Jake The Snake is in
town you know this's this dude Jake The Snake who played one pocket and he would come down and you know they would call George the Greek this guy wants to play one pocket with this motherfucker's got no hot and then everybody would meet up at the pool hall at like 10:00 at night and you'd see prac knocking the T like oh [ __ ] it's going down and they would put this big of money and there was this Guido ganger dude who was always there who had a gun just in case somebody tried to rob the steak it was a [ __ ] crazy place to be a part of sounds cool oh it was [ __ ] it was run unque it was a movie I mean it was it was like a crazy movie about the depression except there was no depression it was just going to diners and watching guys gamble their life away and me being a a visitor in the world I was not really a player I couldn't play that good I played okay like for a regular person I played amazing but for these guys I would play and I would always lose and I've never I won like one or two tournaments ever most of the time I would lose I'd have to get really lucky to win so I got the chance to see these people who lived entirely off of this one crazy game that's all they did all they talked about was the different conditions of the cloth and what kind of chalk are you using and what what [ __ ] tip are you got you got a sniper on this [ __ ] when did you get this sniper is that better and they would try everybody's trying to constantly figure out an edge cuz they're they're playing a game where their life whether they eat or no whether they go hungry whether they have money for a hotel room it's all based on fractions of an inch whether a ball rolls slightly to the left too far or bumps the other ball and gets in the perfect position the the the [ __ ] differences between those things are the the tiniest fraction on the CQ ball of where you hit it and they're obsessed with it obsessed with the movements and just trying to live off those movements that gives me an anxiety attack it's Madness but it's also beautiful when you watch it done right it's an art form that's what people don't understand about the game when people say oh you're [ __ ] boring you talk about pool this is so [ __ ] boring to me it's not trust me when you
it's it's one of those things when you appreciate it when you know how difficult it is to do then it becomes an art form becomes like a ballet exactly exactly when you talk about scar Starcraft I go blank cuz I have no point of reference I don't understand the game I've never tried to I'm terrified of it I see you I see you [ __ ] start sweating when you talk about it I see your face starts sunking in like your body's trying to conserve water cuz you know you're not going to be your body you say Starcraft and your body goes into like the hibernative state where it knows it's not going to get nutrition for the next you really stay in for three days don't you that stuff you would stay for 3 Days quit I didn't quit because of the addiction I quit because they demoted me to bronze League again what what I'm not dealing with that [ __ ] anymore I'm like number 75 in bronze League I'd made it up to the silver and then listen man your ego reveals you my brother why do you give a [ __ ] if you're in bronze League cuz it's you be in bronze League Joe it's an insult I wouldn't even be in bronze League I'm getting beaten by I would be in aluminum I would be in scrap aluminum means I'm it means I'm playing against fourth graders who are crushing me that's all right at least you're playing against somebody no it's a why are you aist it's a young man's sport you're an agist matriarchal [ __ ] your male agist privilege is showing you you basically hate women put it in your blog I don't care you basically hate women I'm going to have to blog about you Duncan Trussell if you hate women and you're an aist I love women I hate bronze Le I don't say I love women you know what I say I love nice women I don't say I love men either there's a lot of men that are [ __ ] a lot of men suck remember when we were talking about Bigfoot somebody actually killed them they didn't just kill one that's a spoiler that's ail don't spoil it dude that's a spoiler hey don't spoil it D thinks it's important not spoil it I'm not looking show it to me offline while instead of oh you son of a [ __ ] Bri doesn't even care this is insubordination if this was any other company if he was not he was working for any other company besides a death quad Affiliated company like the freak party
here right here he gets him I don't give a [ __ ] bro I don't want to see him shoot Bigfoot Bigfoot's probably a man oh look s so sad shoot me human yeah that is sad let's put at something happy to balance this out pull up the Godzilla trailer oh dude they have Oppenheimer quoting the bagavat G wonderful brilliant find it you got to find it's on Daily Motion it's on my Twitter if you go to my Twitter it's one of the most recent posts but it's the trailer for the new Godzilla and oh [ __ ] does this look good I can't wait to see it I got a three4 staff just watching the first 10 seconds of the trailer I was just like oh they're doing it right they're doing it right it's not out apparently it's a it's a concept and they're about they're building it right now but it's a Warner Brothers what he say a property check this [ __ ] out son are you give him full attention [Music] yeah he knew the world would not be the same few people cried most people were silent look at this [ __ ] we're looking at smashed building you can find it online folks you can't stop the internet you can't take pee out of the ocean Tower I don't know why they're want they're trying to remove this for some reason like it's on YouTube sites it's pulled down you know what that is that's some ancient dumbass thinking that's some Executives that don't get show us this [Music] [ __ ] now I am become death the destroyer of worlds listen if that doesn't get your dick hard move to France all right just go get the [ __ ] out of America if that doesn't get your dick hard quit meanwhile Japanese invented Godzilla that's by the way that's that's a parody of a a really racist nationalistic American comes out in 2014 looks well just the attitude that they have in creating that clip when you talk you know you got Oppenheimer talking about the Bava when when they Oppenheimer for folks who don't know is the guy who like was the most critical aspect the Manhattan Project was a huge project obviously but the most critical aspect was Oppenheimer you he's credited as being the guy who figured out how to
make a [ __ ] atomic bomb yeah that [ __ ] that is an incredible verse man I have become death the destroyer of worlds that is so badass dude that's really cool yeah that's going to be that's going to be intense so the Bigfoot's dead and there you go there's a bunch of people say they saw they they've found Bigfoot this week There's a new video of Bigfoot and we won't even show it because I'm not going to [ __ ] insult you there go the [ __ ] is rid that's not it dude this is more that ain't even Bigfoot titties like oh [ __ ] is this Grand Theft Auto oh Bigfoot's got a mask this is [ __ ] a huge spoiler dude stop you do that Brian that's so rude I hope somebody actually just used the Grand Theft Auto Engine to create that and it wasn't real this is the sleeping Bigfoot and it's a female how do they know it's a fale well they smell this [ __ ] they smell a [ __ ] a mile away smell like a tuna that got hit with a musket [ __ ] lying out there in the middle of the woods what do you think it's s it must be a female a male can't smell that fishy this this is a piece of uh baby Bigfoot [ __ ] that they found yeah that's mountainline [ __ ] it's got Ling it dumb [ __ ] I'll tell you right now I've only been hunting for a year I can tell you what the [ __ ] that is I might be wrong by the way I'm very confident what I don't mistake that for being accurate yeah this is uh ridiculous well these people are crazy as [ __ ] Todd disotell who's a professor at uh NYU who we had on that that uh podcast if there's one thing that we answered on the uh Joe ran questions everything it's not whether or not Bigfoot is real but it's whether or not the evidence that has been purported to be Bigfoot DNA has been acquired in the most non-contaminated way and that answer is clearly no this isn't there's not a direct chain of command between finding this and like documenting the fact these guys wore rubber gloves they had masks on they pick this up with tweezers when you find human DNA it's amazing how easy it is for humans to get DNA on [ __ ] now they can get DNA they if you sneeze if you breathe if you touch something with your sweaty skin you get human DNA on things it's incredible how sensitive these pieces of equipment are so when
you get some [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] that a hunter found in the woods this a Squatch turd Squatch came by [ __ ] on my elk carcass you don't know what the [ __ ] happened before that thing got to you and when you start testing it it's very irresponsible scientifically so whether or not these people are telling the truth I believe that they are I believe they really believe that it's a Bigfoot turd whether or not or hair or whatever the [ __ ] they claim they have or many pieces of evidence they claim they have the real problem is all of them have been extracted from the crime scenes unscientifically so me as executive broser dun Trussell co-host of Joe Rogan questions everything we say go [ __ ] yourself that [ __ ] ain't real son that's a [ __ ] chick with a Sasquatch costume on you say that I really don't think anyone thinks it's real though even the news when they showed it on the news they were like oh here we go again oh that's not true I saw some dummies that were being interviewed that seemed like they really believed in it so there was a few dummies that really think they acted like they believed in it I don't know the answer man that's what that's what I learned from the show is I just I have no [ __ ] idea and I and and anytime I think I know something it always turns out to be something wrong and generally if I let myself just be in the state of not knowing things get a lot more interesting anyway I don't know if there's a Bigfoot there could be a Bigfoot anywhere there could be Underground they could live in the earth like Hornets in a hive you know what's more likely than Bigfoot is that little tiny person thing that oring pend deck sure that's more likely they found these [ __ ] 14,000 years old Joey 3 feet tall Hobbit dudes they had Spears they might have like actually like uh they find them they found them on the island of Flores they're called the homo flori enesis or something something like that they they were they were alive 14,000 years ago that ain't [ __ ] and they have legends about these little people who could fly or they rode birds or something how about those giant [ __ ] figured out how to [ __ ] kidnap Eagles how about those giant wasps insane killing people in in China and by the way this was like a week after we were talking about wasps on a
podcast with Josh Barnett Josh Barnett's obsessed with wasps and how crazy gangster wasps are and they could just [ __ ] they kill everything they kill tarantulas there's videos of wasps [ __ ] up tarantulas cuz wasps can keep stinging have you ever been stung by a wasp they can kill you no I haven't have it is awful the ones in you're seeing these Chinese ones or Japanese ones these are giant these are enormous wasps they're Stingers are like hypodermic needles man they're just punching holes in Chinese well they're the size of a small Mouse look at it's the size of a handle [ __ ] that look at the size of that guy's hand or girl's hand gal should we say gal I don't want to offend anybody say lass young Maiden I think it's a Dude Looks Like I hope whoever they are they're not sensitive I'm so tired of people and being so needy oh can you imagine getting swarmed by one of those things well they've killed 42 people and injured 160 Plus in China over the past you know the past few months [ __ ] well they don't know what's going on but these they're [ __ ] huge I know what's going on a portals opened up to hell and those things are climbing out of it the apocalypse is a slow moving event it's glacier-like it's not like an asteroid the apocalypse there's no apocalypse listen [ __ ] you want want to smell my ass that's the apocalypse I'll pull my pants down I'll unleash that In-N-Out double double in your face speaking of the [ __ ] apocalypse man I got a [ __ ] Oculus Rift waiting in my house right now just got don't get sweat I got to get back you're sweaty man why are you sweating you're not going anywhere you're hanging out to the end of this podcast where am I going there's people that are listening to this that depend on you don't be so selfish don't get caught up in the wave of selfishness that is addiction I wasn't going to abandon oh it's not addiction it's into an alternate universe that's not addiction I want to see Skyrim in 3D on the star wow oh my God [ __ ] that oh my God those are big there's a photo of a guy or a gal with four of these giant hornets you really do need to know if it's like a shailo Neil siiz hand or if
it's like a baby hand yeah small let's put all like Little's hands little Lester has some tiny little handser that's a GI Hornet Riders on the Storm DC truss DC trussle what happened what did I miss you putting it in you taking those babies and getting them killed by Hornets in your game you can't there's no game game your mind not yet if you had one though if you had a baby that was alone in the crib like the mom was on meth and the mom fell asleep in the game it's right next to the baby passed out but a window opened up and a Hornet figured out its way through would you allow all the Hornets to come in and kill the baby just so you could see what it would be like this is like uh this is like um what was that what was that movie with Harrison Ford total not Total Recall Blade Runner these are like questions these are the questions you ask an Android to make them start malfunctioning that's exactly what I'm doing I'm trying turtle is laying on its back its legs are waving in the air it can't move I'm trying to figure out whether the a tortoise what's a tortoise it's a turtle I'm trying to figure out whether the UN comfortable moments and the the the the animosity that you faced in your life has turned you irreversibly towards the dark side I'm trying to figure out whether they can seduce you to the force you're you are saying that if I was to let Hornets attack a digitized baby I would be evil well that you would want to experience that what about if you had the options between hornets and a slew of bikini pageant contest entrance blowing the kid let me tell you something man have you ever played Fallout 3 no the game where you wander through the new the the the apocalypse and Fallout 3 well there's a there's a mission in Fallout 3 where there's a little like commune of Orphans who are living in some kind of cave one of the missions is and there's a there's a uh and in part of this world there's a there's like a compound of slavers so you can bring them people you can sell people to slavery there and one of the missions built into this game is you go into that [ __ ] compound of kids kidnap one and bring it back to these slavers to do whatever the [ __ ] they're going to do to the kid and they give you some weird special executioners mask
that gives you powers and that's encoded into the [ __ ] game so that's what's weird about video games is there's this like uh people will do awful [ __ ] in video games you would too oh I fck no I wouldn't do that but I probably I probably would on you you know like if I had an option you know if you could like pick who would want you know who you'd like if you could take like a public figure you know like who think of someone who really annoys you some I don't even don't even mention a name let's just take some horrible foreign dictator type character some con whatever happened to con boy did there is there a [ __ ] cause that went away any quicker than that Coney 2012 thing all you got to do is whip your dick out and run around the street beating off and then it doesn't matter how many babies die in Africa everybody's like this [ __ ] this topic is over he went to Oprah did he he went on opra didn't he and he became a Christian and [ __ ] well the guy was in the middle of the [ __ ] Street beating off in San Diego the guy who like started this organization and put the whole thing together see if you can find that video Bri it's whatever it's caused by I don't give a [ __ ] it's there's a lot of kinds of stress in this world there's one type of tress it's called fighting off the gay DCT what did you think when this whole thing went down this guy got arrested and then he was beaten off in the middle of the street see that makes sense right totally makes sense no I thought it was something even deeper than that man I thought it was some kind of attack from the guy in mind on him because he was ripping people off I don't know if he was for sure but I was suspicious of him of and so I thought that it' reach this like psychic uh some kind of uh psychic magnitude of negativity just swirled down on him and temporarily exposed to the world and this is somebody that maybe isn't reliable or somebody that you shouldn't be sending money to I don't know exactly how they were using the money that they were getting but I know with a great many Charities um legally they only have there he is look at them you're totally right by the way I hate to interrupt you there but you're totally right this is him walking around naked and the old man behind him they're
in San Diego it's all like exmilitary and [ __ ] down there they're like son of a [ __ ] I storm the beaches of eima and you [ __ ] [ __ ] running around my neighborhood showing your dick to my wife I'll [ __ ] kill you but this is something uh you're right though um what is that it's about this it's about this yeah it's South Park song about this oh South Park had a song about it it's called whacking it in San Diego by the way if you watched the season of South Park brilliant [ __ ] man I got to get back on the South Park horse I heard they're going after everybody School God bless them God bless them when you're someone like South Park that has that kind of power the way they use it is so just yes they wield the [ __ ] Almighty sword of of Retribution of comedy of of of Ethics they're just right they're right so many times I never disagree with them cut to them [ __ ] on me did you see the Book of Mormon I loved it yeah I saw it I haven't seen it yet great it's great I mean I'm not into musicals so for me to love it it's it shows how good it was I hear really fun yeah I was I was way lit when I went to see it too it's really it's a it's a really interesting thing that they they're so like they're they're so prolific they do that show every week and somehow or another they manage to find time to develop not just a musical but a really good one yeah it just makes you go God I'm such a lazy [ __ ] as dunan thinks about how much time Occulus Rift is going to chew out of his life [ __ ] I that's a thing man that you know I understand the lazy [ __ ] Theory but [ __ ] like what are we supposed to be doing on this planet if not burrowing into the imagination and digitally experience alternate realities for the fir something that's for the first time in human history is has happened it's a brand new experience what am I supposed to do go to some [ __ ] pool hall and bet 15 bucks to Jo just let him know what the [ __ ] wrong with what he just said I have no idea I have no [ __ ] idea because I'm looking at him I know he's a brilliant dude so you'll go home right now and when will you be outside in daylight again the truth cuz I know there times years ago you disappeared depends on if there's daylight in the Oculus Rift land that I
visit so if you set it up tonight you shut your phone up lock the door hide the window the window cut to new headlines young Gamers finding Oculus riff makes their body produce vitamin D without the sun exclamation point it triggers it actually triggers it you don't need sunlight listen you first worlders are all stuck on your [ __ ] sun and the light when will you see the sun again when you see light it's all about at this guy yeah that's and this omnidirectional treadmill I got to get one of those you know wants to [ __ ] that guy though no one no one wants to [ __ ] that guy someone wants to [ __ ] you Duncan take advantage of that look see what does he have on the wall big girl with giant tits that will never have sex with them voluntarily unless her Ren is late man I I think there might be a great many people out there who aren't being [ __ ] at this moment why should they get to run on a treadmill and experience some magical weird realm I think they should but it it I find it shocking that the first incarnations of it involve violence and not sex the first incarnations of this no my friend put on Oculus Rift porn yeah he says that you look down and you see your dick yeah but what are we looking at right here we're looking at violence this is they aren't Patriot we're looking at dudes with guns they're running around they're hiding behind barrels they're trying to snipe on people they're being [ __ ] so like you know when you give a squeaky toy to a dog oh boy do I and you realize that that squeak is the sound of an animal dying and that's why they like the squeak because that's sound the sound of an animal I never thought about that until right now that's what it is so so like you know your sweet little dogs chewing on this thing it's squeaking just like a an animal would if it were biting it well that's what these games are for humans they're squeak toys they like let humans experience the you know aggressive side that exists in all people you know there's this thing where people are always shocked like to think that we're using this for violence but it's like look what we are I think it's cathartic yeah it's cathartic I think I think it's cathartic and it helps people you know uh get out aggression or just experience like you know bizarre states of being
Joey you don't [ __ ] with games period you've never [ __ ] with games except pool when you're when you know you were at the bar when you were a young kid I'm a uh what's I don't even know the [ __ ] name of with the Maze and [ __ ] if I'm the maze Crossman Pacman Pac-Man I'm a Pac-Man dude if I go if I if I go this Pac-Man is apparently better in Hollywood these Mach what they've do with this machines now they taken all those games they put Miss Pac-Man Pac-Man the one with the missiles didn't the ones that you start from scratch all that [ __ ] I watch Pawn Stars too I know this Pawn Stars I don't know they [ __ ] sell those games so it's amazing always has one they selling them to a bar oh they have it a desk Squad the guy that sent those 4K TVs he sent us one like a big kid it has like 500 games on it is that called m is that what that is I think it's a m you know that people think that I'm a [ __ ] Nazi because of that stupid zombie robot people are so stupid there's so many people that are like looking to find some sort of crazy conspiratorial connection that they've they've decided that because at Brian Studio at the ice house which by the way I have zero zero input and how he designs it he just does it himself I'm not a control freak and uh Brian has a [ __ ] iie that this dude do you remember homeboy's name yeah let me find it real quick um dude's a uh he makes those for movies you know like that movie Dead Snow did you see Dead Snow I don't think I saw it great [ __ ] movie stupid as [ __ ] but great and it's all about zombies that were they were Nazis and somehow or another they became zombies and got frozen up in the the [ __ ] South Pole or some [ __ ] and these people are out there they're camping out and then the zombies come and get him the Nazi zombies it's hilariously stupid so he has one the zombies from Dead Snow it's a [ __ ] movie okay he's got this zombie at his studio and I get all these messages from people that are saying yeah I always knew that he had a problem with Jews that's why he's got a zombie at his Studio that has a swas stia on Joey's falling asleep what I'm not falling asleep I thought you falling asleep Joey
had his eyes closed he was like this I'mma take a nap no you wake up Joey wakes up I like I'll wake up and like look on Twitter and Joy's been tweeting since 4:30 a.m. when I go to bed we we we change off we we have stri you know you ever see that cartoon with there's a sheep dog and the coyote and they meet I'm the coyote he's the sheep dog we meet morning Frank morning Sam punch [ __ ] uh I was doing fine today the whole day was going great and I stopped at the weed store at about uh 12:30 12:15 in the afternoon yeah just after you were there last night no I wasn't there last night night before last you were there no no which night you Tuesday was when I tweeted the the thing I went there this afternoon I went to the one on lanasham to lock up they have Edibles and reef they got a lot more selection the other place just has strong [ __ ] weed right this one has a pre-roll joints and a dynamite and we've got Edibles that dynamite and weed that's Dynamite so I go in there this afternoon and Sh up the guy goes hey I got this new thing I want you to try it's a [ __ ] uh Little Brownie thing and it's just he goes this these people always have solid stuff tell me what you think I took a bite out of it and I could tell it was going to be a ride I could tell I took a bite out of it like a little bite yeah and I'm like wow and atin it's been hit me this afternoon but I'm all right these crazy hippies are so inconsistent they're so inconsistent with their product like you get a 5x cookie that's not that big a deal and then you get one that makes you think about everything that went wrong from ages three to six you'll see it all play out in front of you man I I bought one of these chocolate bars and took a little bite of one a tiny tiny tiny little bite and I [ __ ] like within within two hours you could taste it I'm like it's a it was uh it was when we were having the heat wave I'm so paranoid that I'm like I'm just going to go [ __ ] jogging I'm going to go jogging and try to sweat it out run I'm running by the LA River look down see some guy taking his pants off perfect you suck his [ __ ] what did it taste like it tasted like river water like God it's like a
brownie I found the perfect dose for me edible wise it's uh LA Speed weeds gummy bears two gummy bears perfect right there's a little confusion when it comes to uh like breast strips breast strips breast stps are very tricky I never go with a full breast trip because you don't know what the [ __ ] you you it can get too scary but the gummy bears for some reason seem to be pretty consistent I think it's how they make gummy bears I don't know man who knows problem problem it's illegal that's why we have to have this [ __ ] conversation well you you've got to be careful cuz you know a lot of people they go and get their prescription and then they go next door and buy some marijuana brownies and they think oh it's just a brownie I'll eat the whole Brownie and then Satan is dragging them by their hair this brownie kicked my ass a little couple minutes ago it has been [ __ ] wrestling me I took one bite of it but I knew how it was packaged the whole thing these are real yeah I know these people I'm like wow this is pretty [ __ ] good yeah well you know what I think that it is important and people that hear this and go guys you guys are talking too much [ __ ] about uh weed and talking about weed BR it really is something that people need to hear they really do unfortunately the eating of the brownie can really [ __ ] be psychologically devastating yeah or the chocolate bar or whatever the [ __ ] Ed any Edibles can really [ __ ] your world up your world up yeah you got to be careful and sometime I'll tell you even like I learned with acupuncture I never get high before I go to acup puncture because it turns into a complete different realm I feel I feel every needle go into my skin I feel every needle break the skin I could hear it it's like having Spider-Man sense you can hear it you can hear the needles top you could just feel them the the the needle correspond with your skin when I'm not high I don't feel that and when and that's what kills me that's what stresses me the [ __ ] out once I feel a little bit of pain from the needle it shoots up to my brain If if I'm straight I'm fine but if I'm stoned it takes that little bit of pain and does something else with it and next you know I'm having a goddamn anxiety attack so that's why I got to be careful with situations like
that well it's like I say about bombing the the the best I've ever gotten out of standup comedy was when I bombed and realized that I need to [ __ ] make some sort of Corrections those that's that's the best improvements that I've ever gotten it's similar to the the feeling that you get when you you you you eat a brownie or whatever and you freak the [ __ ] out I've been reading this uh book called The Yoga sutras of Paton have you heard this of this book who's theingi p patang no it's patang I didn't know I didn't know but they talk about how the mind uh how there's a term called vites and vites is the term for a wave of thought and so like your mind is basically all these waves of thought rolling through it rolling through it each of those are a vti and those things are sort of uh um you are created by things in the external world or other thoughts or feelings that come into your mind so when you get super high what's happening is you're suddenly amplifying those ritties you're seeing these thought patterns that normally are way under the surface and those thought patterns are it's usually [ __ ] you've been ignoring like for me I'll start thinking about like you know like when I had cancer that's that would come to my mind like [ __ ] I'm probably going to die I might die this could kill me or you know whatever the thing is that you've been trying to ignore or forget about it just will grab your face and push you right into it and so the answer is to just Embrace that thing dissolve into it go into it go into it fly into the it's like Dante's Inferno the only way out of hell in Dante's Inferno is by going to the middle and climbing down Satan's leg because Dante never tried to suck Satan's dick if you suck his dick as he comes in your mouth your brain explodes and you appear in the Garden of Eden with Eden Eden and she hasn't given the Apple to the snake yet Eden's the stripper that Liv in theard whatever whatever her name is that that [ __ ] that was e Eve's friend it's like a [ __ ] there's just some like dirty girl who lived there too they never you don't talk about her cuz all she did was just clean your assu was eaten she had like wet warm towels she would just wipe your ass after sh the field Joey stopped you on it and Brian stop video St putting a
video on him you're going to change the whole tone of this [ __ ] show you son of a [ __ ] sh chy Diaz what are you doing this weekend you making a movie Stone he's way too high I got till the eth on this thing what is this thing you're doing right now the things I do those your life has changed no I always do one of these every year Disney I was at the [ __ ] the Storyteller show the other day your life has changed no brother we had that was a good [ __ ] thing the other night wasn't it it was a lot of fun that was a lot of fun AR sha Storyteller show uh this is not happening on Comedy central.com I had to leave I had to do Kevin and Bean in the morning how to get out of there but uh the the reaction that you got when you even walked in the building your uh your life has changed it was rocking over there you're you're living in a different world than you were living in a couple of years ago no I'm fine man I'm still in the same [ __ ] world I know you are but it's interesting to watch man pretty interesting to watch what was the last gig we did together where the [ __ ] were we Boston Milwaukee Milwaukee one of those yeah Milwaukee and Boston were both in sanity are you doing another those dog movies yep which one is this one are you allow to see the dog that saved East how many times this dog going to [ __ ] save the world this is the fifth one Gary Valentine pass look at Gary Valentine passer they brought you back no no I always come back I but you're saying that Gary Valentine pass Gary Valentine passed on this one he wanted more money I don't know what happened Dean Kane this is he took a little pit stop before searching for Bigfoot this is this is four he's got a new show he's got a new show on Spike with my pal Todd disel they go Searching for Bigfoot Brian with till I get you what happen the the girls makeup is that what it was no they dress you up like a girl you know why do you know why cuz they're scared of you just like they do with black men no no what MAA think about it all the black men they dress up like women that was the third movie we did yeah that's that never dressed me up like old again Dave Chappelle had a whole uh speech that he did on one of those talk shows about it about man why
is it when black man gets famous they always try to dress him up like a girl it's true Eddie Murphy think about all the different people Jamie Fox think about all the different people that are Keenan Ivy Way think about all the different people big strong black men and it's hilarious they dress up like women why jodas why' they do it to you that was just a third one cuz they've seen your dick online that's what it is they've seen the Cuban egg roll floating out there like the Death Star deep space what's wrong with you you know what I'm saying we're over here I'm Stone to the gills I got Duncan to the right of me Red Band to the left of me you got to be over here you know D when you jumping back into the comedy world again this Saturday I'll be at the comedy store oh oh googly what time [ __ ] 104 11 10:45 Orit that's there's something about that place right still to this day exotic exotic place isn't that where [ __ ] hobo M's debut that's exactly where he made you know I'm saying who hoboob what's the new hobo like I don't I've I've retired hobo shut the [ __ ] up why would you do that when it's not on video why listen why does everything have to be on video because the other people should enjoy it too well you developed something that was really beautiful that was real well you know the problem there's a technical problem which is that it uses a Pink Floyd song and I super doubt that if I emailed them they're gonna be like yeah you could use our one of the most famous songs on Earth for your comedy album uh guess what what that's a small part of that bit very small that's not even one10 of 1% of that bit but that bit is I don't want to say anymore cuz I don't want it to be a spoiler you don't need that song dude that's silly but I feel you know like the next time I go back out in the road I I don't think I can bring little hobo I talk to him Joey Diaz tell him to put that [ __ ] [ __ ] down on wax I can't keep doing it though I can't you can't keep doing something then you don't have to keep doing it you just have to do it and get it on DVD or get it on a video that put it on the internet for that little hobo bit to not get out there in the world is a crime against humanity thanks you need to
figure that out thank you need to figure that out you need to figure out how you're going to get that out there cuz I can't can't tell you how many times a [ __ ] how with laughter at that bit I've seen that bit close to 100 times maybe I mean all the times we work together I love doing it it's a [ __ ] great bit dude you need to people need to see that it's fun and it's so you it's so you if anybody was like wondering what kind of Comedy does Duncan do like you got six minutes sit down and watch this you know what's [ __ ] cool though man I I can't get I I can't give too much of it away but I am going to be puppeteering uh a a a puppet I'm going to be using a puppet for this uh show we're doing for MTV digital that we're shooting right now it's is going to be really cool a lot of a lot of spooky uh spooky sketches okay let's get into the Duncan psyche let's find out what that's all about Joey Diaz used to always say this [ __ ] Duncan's always playing around with the devil one of these days you're going to [ __ ] realize that Devil's GNA bite him right in the ball sack they did did it did it really took one of my balls no no no no no I I don't really no I was just kidding I was just kidding the St no no no no you know listen man there's no Dark Side you can't be [ __ ] around with the devil Duncan trussle well that that you think of being cute all he Hees and ha watching the cartoons SpongeBob get that but my point is I'm just joking around about that but my point is like what is your fascination with this demonic idea you're you're drawn to that angle so often like what what is it drawn to to what angle drawn to the angle of you know obviously I don't believe that you think in these things like as far as being reality but the idea of a demonic entity the idea of evil incarnate I me you've often talked about evil as like a philosophical idea like a location that you can get to you know man I've changed a lot in my life and there was a time when I actually did believe that there was some there there and I still have I I know people who do believe in this kind of thing but you know why you don't anymore what you know why you don't anymore why your girlfriend's 24
you think that's why I don't believe in evil anymore as you look your vagina it's like drinking out of a spring when you've been trapped in the desert you trapped in the desert and you come down the hill and what is this this is this an oasis is this a hallucination and you get in that cold Colorado Spring Water and just lap it up 24 is not old joke that's not what I'm saying kid joke I get it I know it was a joke God I think it's more of a um you know there's that too though you know what I like's that too well I think that that's a i good point that's not that is not a huge Point Joe Diaz I'd like to say that that he's a Savage you guys are embarrassing me I um but I I think I like the uh in Hinduism I like the whole cycle of things you someone's panicking they're going straight to the bad Gita that's what I oh Jesus Christ here we go [ __ ] off it's [ __ ] Hindu time you [ __ ] you ass let's talk about Congress and the diebold voting machines man smell [ __ ] loty ticket let me get that Midnight Moon whatever the [ __ ] that is smell like get a little blast this we got we're drinking moonshine here in the of the episode Duncan I pushed one in front of you do you not drink anymore you scared I'm I'm trying to I'm trying to lose weight so I'm not drinking alcohol uh that's not going to help you being a [ __ ] is not going to help you lose weight it's the exact opposite of what's going to help you lose weight what's going to help you lose weight is being a Savage and what a Savage does is occasionally they have a drink because they're a [ __ ] man they do whatever they want to do and then they do squats well what I want to do is not drink listen to me I have cattle Bells here in this building I can help you burn going throw one at me if I'm going to help you work out after this podcast is over I'll show you a squat routine that you could do with a [ __ ] 32 kilogram okay great okay great how much proof a thousand it's like it's evil God it'll hurt your mother if you drink that [ __ ] your your dead parents will [ __ ] kick her around their graves if you if you drink that [ __ ] kids you grew up with in high school will crash into trees oh my God that shit's [ __ ] strong it's so strong it's ridiculous people you've
never met will get drunk people you meet in a week will [ __ ] pass how it work T does it taste good it actually tastes pretty good it's it's it's not as strong as a regular what you think good is if you're talking about Good Kool-Aid no how about do is good with ice cubes what it tastes like it's it's not that brutal it's interesting they did what whatever this is Jamie what is this what's the name of this company Smokey old smokey I think it is whatever whoever these people are they're bad [ __ ] they know how to make some real moonshine cuz I've had some scary moonshine that hurts and I've had some moonshine like this is pretty [ __ ] smooth while letting you know that it's [ __ ] you up but but if you talk to somebody in Kentucky they would be like yeah that's like the wine cooler of moonshines compared to them you know like building it in the backyard and stuff like that I don't know man this stuff's pretty good but dunin and I Duncan and I had some stuff in North Carolina remember when we ateed that slaming barbecue joint yes do you remember that yep that play was it was it called was it called I can't remember but it's [ __ ] good if you're in Raleigh hold on a second I need to let these [ __ ] get their props Raleigh barbecue BBQ um we uh we ate the pit it was at the pit that's exactly what it was I thought it was we they gave us some moonshine some some like peach moonshine oh my God it was good God damn it was good first of all the barbecue there if you're in Raley that place is sense ational it's so good it has four stars if you go to like the reviews online but that's just because 10% of the people in the world have their [ __ ] head deep in their ass like in if if if the world was just and pure that would be a five-star place no doubt about it and they had this insane peach moonshine and you would drink it and you go whoo yeah and you also like it cuz you know it's illegal you know I hate booze right you know I hate the taste the booze yeah that's [ __ ] delicious this is good that's delicious they know what they're doing um real moonshine is uh over 100 proof as high as 150 proof which is about 75% alcohol like so you're drinking yeah you're pretty much is drinking you're free basing booze and
what is this stuff uh it should say on the side of it does it say the proof yeah it should say right on the bottle if you eat bad [ __ ] and you eat this and you drink this you're saved it'll save you good it'll kill all the HPV kill all the HPV right out of [ __ ] T you won't go on Michael dougas I won't be spitting [ __ ] little yellow buttons tomorrow uh I can't read the proof where does it say it that does it say in the front he I'm sorry oh that was different it's good too it says 50% that's 100 proof is that 100 Proof why wouldn't it just say 100 Proof oh it does say 100 Proof another spot 100 Proof yeah proof it's not bad no it's not bad it's pretty good what's whiskey 90 90 Proof yeah so it's just a little stronger than whiskey that tastes delicious though was Ice Cube [ __ ] cigar with an ice cube with a little mile cigar guys not a big one a little one 3 hours to kill maybe something to watch in a [ __ ] Casino in Vegas while you're Mony Cristo something yeah a little Mony crystal that's perfect the problem is is when Jamie first originally gave it to me I thought it I didn't think it was that strong so I was just drinking it like a drink and I almost drank like a half a bottle of it and that's like drinking a half bottle of Jack Daniel yeah you get [ __ ] up how many guys did you [ __ ] that night just you what oh [ __ ] jealous legal to sell shut up this [ __ ] podcast sucks teach me about this is legal to sell yeah that's actually I go to a bar I can go to a bar and get this [ __ ] yeah this has a barcode on it wow moood Midnight Moon that [ __ ] delicious with ice cubes as long as they have one of those [ __ ] things on it that's legit that means it's gone through the government taxes and all that [ __ ] man I wonder what the [ __ ] is going to happen to this country now that we realize these [ __ ] can't communicate they can't get along so badly that they're shutting the government down like they're throwing a temper tantrum and then they're not working their way through this and they're shutting the government down I read this thing on Reddit that I thought was a really cool solution which is
adding to the Constitution some way to if this happens to uh do re-elections for everyone so that uh we can just um yeah we can we can wipe the Slate that's that's a good idea that's incompetence that's clear incompetence and apparently if like all the states wanted to do that there's a way to do that there's actually a way for the states to band together so that we can do complete re-elections and get get you know since it's not working they can't do their jobs it's not working let's get new people in there but have you seen ran Paul and some other dude got T got caught in a conversation with their mics on about the the reactions that people are going to have have to all this no what do they say they're just talking about hedging their bets they're just talking about saying all the things the talking points or all the things they were willing to compromise on with the president wasn't and it's really spooky stuff because it's it it comes down to this gigantic system grinding to a halt because a bunch of people are in an ego battle and they're playing a game of chess well it's almost like the founding fathers built into the machine a thing that I think is supposed to alert the population that we have to do something more I I think that's what that is I mean I just saw I hate saying this I mean I don't know why I hate saying it but I just saw Jesse Ventura on Pierce Morgan and he was giving this very like intelligent cogent uh description of what's happening and he was saying we this means that we need to have a revolution and it doesn't have to be violent but we do need to revolutionize the way government works because right now it's not working and the reason it's not working is because um there is a a percentage of people who don't believe that they should have to get that the government can impose uh health insurance or that that that can make people buy health insurance you know what I think I think the government has to adapt just like the porn industry did the porn industry came along and the internet came along and clipped the [ __ ] legs out of the porn industry is there still porn available Brian yes there is that's right you know why because they adjusted they did what they had to do and I think the government needs to do the same the internet does
not allow the government to be the same entity it's too obvious where the money comes from we know too much about lobbyists we know too much about the influence of Corporations we know too much about Congress and how Congress has been influence to the point where they're willing to actually allow corporations to vote as humans and with their money and and and and have no limits on how much they can contribute to individual candidates who will eventually serve their business needs once they get into office it's nonsense and we know it's nonsense now because the internet just like we know that $39.99 for a DVD with you know insert the blank terapatrick that's not you don't have to do that when you can go to you up porn and just it's free just beat off online yeah and we know that now so that that that kicked out the legs yes digital information ones in in a very different way but it's the same thing yeah the internet has kicked out the legs of politics and politics is Holding On by a [ __ ] claw they're hanging on like that kitten in that hang in there poster it's getting to the point where I we have to do something like it's or or we happen just like the Ice Age eventually stopped or just like War eventually ends just like we got out of Vietnam just like the Civil War ended something will eventually break but we'll get to a point where we're like enough yeah well let's just hope I mean I don't by the way lately I've just been trying to avoid the news uh which is hard when you go when you're addicted to Reddit but I've been trying to AO avoid it completely but the um if what they're saying if it's if it's not just a bunch of [ __ ] if what they're saying is true then we could go into another recession because of this this could drive us into another recession and if that's the case then um well then that means that we have to get a new there needs to be a new government because there's no reason for us to go into another recession you know the how many of them are there in the government yeah how many how many senators how many Congressmen that's a really good question how many is it I don't know the exact amount there's an exact amount what is it 200 people seven yeah it's and how many people are on the planet or on Earth and how many people
are in the United States because the [ __ ] that happens in the United States affects the entire planet so it's like the fact that there's I don't know I don't know it's sad that I don't know the number of Senators and congressmen in the you don't need to it's all nonsense whatever this tiny tiny tiny number is compared to the ocean of humanity uh the fact that they're creating an unnecessary situation where we could all theoretically suffer uh shows that um we as the people have been conditioned to believe that we're powerless and so that that conditioning needs to go away and the moment it did and we organized in a nonviolent way then they would immediately start listening to us it's just that everyone gets so mad oh the government doesn't represent the people anymore it's like well that may be true but what are we doing to organize to make it so that they start listening to us again we need to do that um yeah and no I mean yeah and that something's got to change and no and that really what would be optimal is if the people that were in positions of power realized they were [ __ ] over the world that would be the best if they said hey guys you know we we ate some peyote and we realize we're a bunch of [ __ ] so we're willing to like try to figure out how to figure out a way how to reward people for the work that they've already done but yet move forward in a much more ethical way of Distributing wealth good luck man these are good luck that's socialism talk you [ __ ] commie and these people are [ __ ] human fossils look at imagine taking peyote with Boehner imagine like that's can you imagine looking across at that guy and he's like transforming into howdy Duty in front of you his eyes are glowing red no way man I I don't know if it's possible it seems like these are uh earlier versions of human beings who whose entire operating system is uh is needed an update since the 70s there's no imagine if your if you hadn't updated your iPhone since when iPhones came out that's what these people are like with information but they're way worse than iPhones these [ __ ] murder they're on a BBS board in the early 90s yeah with a 144 modem yeah and the [ __ ] cuts out every five minutes they're not they're not on top of the ball and all yeah well it's it's the whole thing's
[ __ ] wrong man I really liked uh I had Christopher Ryan on my podcast and he was talking about how in indigenous cultures the people who never are allowed to become leaders or the people who indicate that they want to be leaders like those are always the ones people avoid as being the leaders and the ones who end up being leaders are the ones who know the most about certain things like fishing or hunting those people are naturally followed right they don't [ __ ] throw makeup on and try to get in front of a try to hypnotize a country by saying the exact same thing everyone always says good evening yeah my fellow Americans president talk that weird Cadence why are you talking like that what the [ __ ] is that exactly we've talked about that aund times on this show you and I have had like if you were sitting at home with a guy and he started talking to you like that you would stop him he' be like what the [ __ ] are you doing are you trying to hypnotize me you imagine Joey Diaz was sitting across from Obama Joey what we're dealing right now bipartisan efforts have been reached we have reach out to Republicans they're unwilling to bargain yeah you like you're [ __ ] killing me dog why you talking to me like that oh yeah and also the way freaking me the [ __ ] out I was born how was North Bergen New Jersey 1978 look at this picture look at me [ __ ] I'm on a basketball team with a bunch of guies one black guy and a Filipino why are you talking to me like that it's what's happening is diffusion of Jo's gone you're so gone I've never se you more gone aast my boy I'm listening over here how high are you on a scale of 1 to a billion I'm like six for Joey Diaz to be this High man whatever you took must have fallen out of I got to see that is I got to see what that is that [ __ ] must have come out of a time machine [ __ ] is that dude that we met in Utah the black hole with the bulletproof wolf that popped out a portal opened up and a worm vomited out whatever you ate the orbs basically basically the orbs yeah man i' I've cookie to Joe Diaz's house I've never seen you like this I'm thinking about people who smoke dope and people who won smoke dope and how the people who don't smoke dope worry me well yeah
because the people who don't smoke dope have just called me eight times after I told them for the last eight days that I was doing in your podcast today from one to whatever they've continually called me today and and the people who don't smoke the people who smoke dope they don't bother me they at home they ain't trying to [ __ ] call me amazing what do you mean people who don't smoke just a friend of mine that wanted to do something Friday oh I see and I said to him listen I'm going to be busy from like 1: till like 5: maybe 600 maybe I won't see you yeah but I'll call you when I get out of there yeah he's already called me three times it's hav been in here yeah it's weird you getting mad you getting mad no no I'm not getting mad I just thought I spoke to him about it and it's just weird how people don't [ __ ] listen they don't listen they don't care to listen they don't want to listen you know right it just it's always you know so that's it that's what I was thinking that's it these [ __ ] don't want to listen they don't want to [ __ ] listen I don't ask for much who does want to listen Joey nobody me neither I don't want to listen that's why we did that too busy with my own [ __ ] I'm trying to sort out my own [ __ ] that's right don't need to listen to anybody that's that's right dunan man when you get around somebody who's listening to you it's the coolest feeling ever like wow hence the 24-year-old girlfriend is mystified you string words together like a wizard no like Bud you know I love you you're a Savage you take these girls I love it you teach them you teach them Guru I'm not I'm not teaching this this is she's really super [ __ ] smart we're just joking around these are jokes see this is is vable because because you like her so much this is where you stop joking you like halted the come on guy yeah oh yeah yeah like you can't even joke around about it because you actually like her sweet well if we were yeah if it's sweet it's sweet it's beautiful I think you're supposed to do that you are you are well it just shows that that's who you really are you know that you're you know you really like the chick she's cool nothing wrong with being 24 I was 24 Once By the way when I
was 24 I was dumb as [ __ ] you wouldn't want to be friends with me if I was 24 and I was in this room you'd be like get that [ __ ] out of here go same with me I was so dumb when I can we didn't have the internet what we didn't have the internet we didn't have it well I I had rudimentary we we had rudimentary interet please he didn't have the real internet internet you had to download jpegs and it would take a long time you just H that it would like click over the tits so you could start masturbating that's what porn used to be is waiting for those lines of pixels to roll down the screen well you know I think that it took a long time for us to figure out what to do with it so the early internet like I was on the internet in '94 but I didn't learn a goddamn thing until 2003 right I didn't learn anything it was all just talking [ __ ] and message boards and downloading porn and nonsense and then somewhere along the line that all got boring and I started learning [ __ ] I think we started paying attention more things it was also like the three years into my pot journey I started with the weed around 2000 so that's when I started questioning a lot of different things at about 2000 delving into the internet deeper thank God for the Internet it's revolutionizing everything man even like [ __ ] taxis like uber oh it's amazing are you [ __ ] [ __ ] me man it's the exact same price as a taxi tell people what it is there's a there's a I'm not sponsored by them at all I just love them I just used them I only used them once it was incredible but there's a company called Uber it's an app and you go on Uber you click a button and within when I did it the first first time there there's a it's they send like a limo to your house and it was there in 2 minutes it's the exact same price maybe $5 more than a taxi and it's incredible yeah it's a sweet move it's great in New York City it's a It's amazing And and it's and the taxi companies in La took them to court and tried to sue them so that they couldn't exist really cuz it's such a competition I just talked to a taxi driver all about this and he said there's good reasons for it too my friend I not friend this guy I know drove for one of the Uber type things the like I think it was Lyft he got in a car accident with three
other people while he was driving and you would think like Lyft or or this company would insure every everybody but no he's getting sued by everybody in the car and his insurance isn't supposed to be covering you know when he's working and a lot of these people don't have the right insurances so when you're in an Uber or something like that they're not getting approved by the state they're not getting insured they're it's kind of almost illegal in some ways so what well I would never do anything illegal but the taxi drivers have now all have their own apps now like like the like the Yellow Cab app has the exact same thing Uber has now so they're actually catching up trying to do this [ __ ] yeah but still even if the Yellow Cab app works you're still in the back of a [ __ ] taxi with Uber you're in like a super nice car bottled water in the back yeah and it's the same the main crazy thing about it is it's like $5 more they can't compete there's no way they're going to compete with that like once people start really finding out about it who's going to f call a [ __ ] cab why yeah why would and it takes longer to get a cap when I when I did the Uber thing it was there in 2 minutes like you know when you see your dog take a [ __ ] and instantaneously there's a fly on the [ __ ] and you're like how is that possible where do they come from are they everywhere that's [ __ ] Uber well there's so many people out there driving limos the number of people driving limos is pretty gigantic it's amazing now yeah I mean think about where you're at you're in the Los Angeles area the amount of airplane pickups airport pickups airport pickups are what limo driving is is all about I worked for Fifth Avenue limo in Boston and 90% of my work was uh airports airport pickups pick people drive it to take them to New Hampshire take them anywhere from Logan airport all like in a 100 mile spiral you know in any direction awesome yeah so there's always a bunch of people waiting around like a that's the other crazy thing about limos is those [ __ ] work in insane amount of hours like it's not just a a a crazy like regular job like 12 hours a day 16 17 18 go back home sleep for a few hours they'll call you in the morning they I worked until 2:00 in the morning these [ __ ] were calling me at 6
asking me to come back in I was like you're [ __ ] crazy and then were like look you got debt you got credit card payment problems you got this you got that we'll take care of you we'll I'll tell you what we got a a [ __ ] bounty of work and they're like see Mikey Mikey over here a guy had he had a Boston College sticker on his Cadillac didn't go to college he just liked Boston College right he was just limo it was kind of a sad character this guy just was all he did was work and he like he makes a good living he doesn't have to bust his ass you know he's in here 16 17 18 hours a day sometimes and he was like that's how you do it and he gets in his car and he drives off and we're like like he's got a nice apartment he's got a nice Cadillac he's driving meanwhile this guy was a slave he was a slave to ve scallopini at the nice Italian restaurant that he could get anytime he wants he was a slave to the fact that he had a nice apartment with a nice view he looked out his window he felt like a winner and he he was a slave to his Cadillac with his BC sticker on it and this [ __ ] guy worked every day and you could do that the good thing was if you were in a hole you in a financial hole was good they paid well you could work and you can make good living that guy made more than 60 Grand a year wow driving limos and this was back in 199 90 not even 1989 so it's a long time ago you know what else is cool about Uber I'm sorry Joey no go ahead I'm sorry no go ahead no Uber also you know listen Uber obviously is $5 more than a cab so what that does is that only Cuts everybody again yeah like that lowers the price I mean it's good for us but it's like some it's good for them too it's just bad they're busy at least they're busy it's bad for CS at least they're busy you know at least uh instead of you know that same ride would cost 85 now with Uber probably cost 55 right they tell every tell you when I drove Jeff backck I drove Jeff Beck uh well I I didn't I don't know if he was in yeah he was in my van and uh the the um the manager it was a some I was picking up rock stars on a regular bases and the manager for um Annie Lennox was there too and we went to some hotel where we saw Annie Lennox but I couldn't I wanted to get Stevie Rayvon I was a
big Stevie rayon fan Stevie rayon refused limos would not take limos rode it in cabs so all he did was riding Cavs you have a limo waiting for Steve Rayvon he be like thanks and he' like Ci he put his hand up get a taxi throw his bag in [ __ ] the back seat and bring his uh guitar in there with him and that's it he was gone he didn't want to riding your limo man he wasn't interested wow it's really kind of interesting because they had a they had a a limo for him at La or at Logan Airport in Boston he's like n not interested he probably like the thick smell of soup farts and cologne well he probably could do heroin much more comfortably in the back of a cal oh yeah right I don't know if this was the time where he was doing heroin or was just being authentic oh you know some people just decide that like you got to in order to do real art like that like real Stevie Ron type music you got to be down got to be in the gutter you got to be down with the people it's not about the gutter I mean know cab driver is not the gutter but a cab driver is down that's a real dude right you know you're driving around a city and you're taking a cab and the cab is driven by a guy who lives in the city that's a guy who's working but he's also on the grind that's a real dude you know sure man that's one way to look at things but every time I get in a [ __ ] cab I feel like somebody just maced me with J car I don't feel like I'm with a [ __ ] people I feel like I'm in a gas chamber filled with shitty cologne well Jak car is all right man if you're trying to get laid and you live in Riv now when it's mixed with garlic burps and the smell of somebody's rotting the smell of somebody's rotting prostate they're just they every day they just poured your car into their [ __ ] try to cover up this rotting stink of their intestines Riders on the Storm Riders on the [Music] stor Duncan Saturday night comedy store yes Joe Diaz where you going to be at next week I'm with Ari shafir at cobs suck upon it Thursday Friday and Saturday next we and get your [ __ ] together that's a [ __ ] fantastic show that [ __ ] on Thursday Friday and Saturday don't [ __ ] around Joey Diaz Ari shafir is very funny right now man he's on he's on point yeah know we got this
[ __ ] show this is a great show well you know everybody's been accelerating it's been fun to watch I'm not going to say the bit but the bit that you and I talked about on the phone that you're doing now I don't know to say what it is but it's [ __ ] hilarious I love watching everybody like hit some new levels you know that liberachi bit is one of the funniest bits I've seen in decades write new [ __ ] I'm trying man it's hard hard so hard to write and Tuck something away and go well I'm going to write something around it and you get on stage but you know what I'm getting into the 50 minute bit now I'm starting to dig those long sets now I'm starting to realize that for years the 15 minute [ __ ] around set in town was working now I just stay home and sleep I just go into town at night early and do Thursday night and bring the notebook with me and by Friday I'm [ __ ] loose man it's it's it's really nice to different game you notice the difference game in the the hour game the hour game is different than the 15 yeah you run a lot more man it's uh and the only way to do it is to do it it's like anything else it's to do it you can talk about you can write I'm trying to write my hour you're not going to write it bro you got to get up off your ass and go out and do it I felt the difference in when I lived in New York too it's one of the reasons why I did very few sets in New York City I was like this seven minute set is just not cutting it 7 10 10 minutes that's not cutting it either like I barely got warmed up I barely got get barely get cranking and when you're going on the road and you're doing these long sets it's the difference between doing a trailer and doing a movie right you know the trailer you know you you develop a totally different style you have this like real quick get to the point quickly shock them early be nice to them but yeah get your point across thank you good night and it's a Sprint it's a wild Sprint you're running up a hill but the set when you're doing an hour and 10 hour and 15 hour and 30 that's a different animal that's an an animal you're establishing a mindset yeah you got to do that all the time to do that and that's such a jarring thing when you've been doing that and then you come back and do a 15 minute set it feels so [ __ ] weird hard it's less jarring
though than the other way the other way is way brutal when you're going from a 15minute set and you think you know what you're doing and all a sudden you have to do 45 and you get 35 minutes in and you're like I'm done yikes yikes I got no material left where you from sir ah and the [ __ ] panic in your eyes and just thinking do I have any jokes I haven't done is there anything I haven't done is there anything I'm working on that I haven't done scrambling through the Rolodex of your stone brain desperately for some scrap of a joke well for me back then it was not even stoned it was hot it was totally straight right it totally straight brain for the first few years I didn't even like have a beer before I went on stage I didn't want to have that as a crutch I remember the first time I went on stage I was [ __ ] in my pants I was like maybe I should go get a drink C down and I was like stupid if you do that you're going to need a drink every time you go on stage just take your medicine dummy I remember telling myself that and I just went out 21 years old take my medicine smart boy luckily crazy and smart at the same time crazy enough to know it's like a really smart kid who gets a 500 horsepower car and really shouldn't be able to drive it like you got to be careful stupid you got to know what the [ __ ] you're doing with this thing you're going to hit the gas and fly off a cliff Riders on the stor Duncan trussle looking with the [ __ ] looking sharp with the [ __ ] uh you've abandoned the Fedora is this permanent I've abandoned it can I shave your head no no and just leave the beard like look at this my friend look how look this that's what Freedom looks like no way man oh you say no way no that looks great but I I'm in no way I'm never shaving my [ __ ] head man that's it I am happy that I made all the mistakes that I made all the mistakes that I made made me who I am today and I've made them work for me but if I could change one thing it would be not that I would necessarily I like the fact that I I I talk about the fact that I panicked about losing my hair so I got hair transplants and I got a stupid scar on the back of my head but logically the one thing that makes the least amount of sense I should have shave my [ __ ]
head when I was like 21 I should said you know what this ain't going to last I should have just went with it cuz this is like so comfortable it's so like easy to do it's so relaxing it's a nonf factor now and I know it's still a factor for you my friend here's the thing man here's the real Factor you do every single thing cult leaders do and I figure shaving my head I might as well go to the airport and start handing out USBS with your podcast in just little FYI if I ever do start a cult I'm not interested in being a leader no of course not they never you're a leader you're a leader you can be lead tell me what to do I'll let you go I don't give a [ __ ] you could be the leader sure this is what they play on the documentary after the mass suicide listen behind that comet is a spaceship it is a spaceship but they won't take you unless you cut your balls off so it's up to you you want to live on this Earth and and be in Perpetual hell or do you want to cut your balls off put on the Nikes get on the [ __ ] spaceship yeah God Duncan why not take some Alpha Brain before you do it take six and do some jumping jacks the Alpha Brain shave your Bells a hemp Force what is the vanilla coming out anyway it's out is it out yeah we just I just got a new bottle of it it's vanilla with acai uh hemp Force protein powder it's [ __ ] special what's the vanilla taste like o delicious it's so good then we nailed it we took a long time this is not a slow process it's been really first of all Aubrey is amazing you want to talk about a a pure person guy with pure intentions and a hardworking dude and a smart guy and deserves every good thing that's happened to him he's just an amazing guy like he's a really unique individual and you you get it from his podcast you get it from his he puts down these videos like he he made this one video about the Psychedelic experience he's a smart [ __ ] and I you know I found no weaknesses in his fence you know like a poke at people's fences and [ __ ] trying to figure out where the weaknesses he's he's a real deal man he's a young guy too it's very admirable watching someone like go about trying to uh make a business and do it correctly and do it in this day and age with all the scrutiny of the internet and all the
cons just raining down [ __ ] rain on your head just opening their [ __ ] above your head just emptying their bowels of failure upon your head at every Point always like and in their defense in their defense if you pay attention to most of human behavior you're going to find people tend to gravitate towards the worst if they can get away with it you know they get away with what they can get away with but the the beautiful thing about people who are true psychedelic explorers and that's a [ __ ] gross term but I'm going to use it anyway even though it's been co-opted true psychedelic explorers really are trying to do the right thing at all times and they understand that you have this beautiful way of describing this thing about acting in in a famine State and that it [ __ ] people up cuz they act in this famine State and the same amount of resources are available but you go into a panic where someone who acts in a state of community and abundance has a much different reaction from the same amount of resources the same circumstances the same completely based on the attitude well yeah and and to get that sense of abundance you actually have to it's you actually have to experience that there is abundance that's the thing you can't fake it you need to connect with what some people call The Source or whatever you want to call it but once you connect with that thing you realize that you're going to be fine your body isn't going to be fine the planet as George Carlin says the planet's fine but humans are [ __ ] well you you go into that state you realize well you're not permanent but you realize there's a much much greater thing happening than you and once you plug into that it gets more difficult to get back into those ego games that are usually based on defending whatever you consider to be the most important thing in your life yeah no I I completely agree yeah I completely see where you're coming from Joey Diaz you done you know me Doug I'm just waiting here for something I I need to see an opening I need to see something to feed you know you guys are talking about plan Riders on the Storm [ __ ] galacticos we're talking about North Burger New Jersey 1978 slinging
dick like a [ __ ] like a banshee on a trap e red B what's going on you over there why you [ __ ] quiet red B you're not feeding me lines you're not upsetting Joey this is not red B's fault the micro [ __ ] you're not [ __ ] talking to me about the [ __ ] uh nothing you don't get a chance to talk on this podcast all right I'm over here waiting for something to drop knowledge but nobody's giving me a [ __ ] lob that's nonsense they not even throwing me a fast ball they just throwing me curves and [ __ ] who had the biggest dick in your high school basketball team that you show that picture by the way come on you do know you were tell me about Joey Diaz has a this live podcast he does once a month and I was on his last one and it was probably one of the funniest one of the most funnest times I've ever had in my life you only do it once a month now from the the live on if I'm busy I can't do Saturdays and one I want I switched up last uh the end of September into the Saturday night or Friday night it was great we had a [ __ ] blast it really was a blast really was a blast because a lot of people work during the week right right so you really can't give them so I've been trying to work it out but this month I got busy I can only do a Wednesday but I'll try in November to do a Saturday night or something you know I think those are they're a different Dynamic you know I don't think it's the best way to do all of them but it's fun to do some of them somewh it really is to see what you draw from the audience man and that spot is a great spot to do it and you get blaze and it's dark and you go up there and it's the perfect place and time to be funny yeah it's like going to where they shot Gladiator you got to [ __ ] kill some [ __ ] when they throw you in that stage correct same colum same thing at the Ice House in that little stage too the energy is so against you remember you have people to the left of you people to the right of you and people in [ __ ] front of you which is very rare you have people taking your Corners away but not that wall you can't bomb there there's no way to run you know what I'm saying there's no way it's just and it's perfect so you're up there and you're [ __ ] it's like that little cheater the other night that little stage was
perfect even though you have people behind you sometimes that type of [ __ ] is good you're forced to be real in an innovate environment like that you only get five rows like cheetah just like five six rows and it couldn't have been better like those you know that story that I told that was the best I ever told it ever and part of it is cuz the energy in the room the energy in the room same thing at the ice house with that now to do a podcast in the theater that's not for me I don't think I think it would turn it into a show host condition hey Duncan look someone sent you a tweet it says in look at accept the inevitable look at beautiful yeah you look beautiful it's dun bald that's really good I'm I'll retweet it Brian and uh if dun went to prison tomorrow you come out in 10 years that's what you look like nobody recognize okay I just retweeted it dun put online bro you look sexy as [ __ ] like that I had a [ __ ] swasti of the forehead and that's now we talking you always have to go towards evil come on man is not evil what about all the Jews out there they get they were fans where is your [ __ ] son of a [ __ ] talking about Manson Big Time pimp son of that's sexy see that doesn't look that bad that looks beautiful come on Duncan I'm telling you that looks better than con did not accurately depict my hydralic head that's a nice smooth head I've got a shaping you don't even know what you're talking about I have a [ __ ] smiley scar in the back of my head it doesn't matter it's the ultimate test of your ego your ego is trying to convince you that you look better with hair you do not you look different with hair I like but okay that's great then but I want to ask look different why is there a compulsion in all cult leaders to have people shave their head this is something that really you can't make them shave so [ __ ] weird cuz you can't make them shave their [ __ ] that's why nobody else is like you got to shave your head no one I know is like shave your head it'll free you Riders on the Storm you can follow Duncan trussle on Twitter that's d u n c a n t r u s s e l L Duncan Trussell in the [ __ ] house don't bother following him on Facebook cuz most of those people aren't
even really Duncan you're talking to some strange girl some girl pretended to be Duncan who's in love with Duncan there's no imposter Joey there's [ __ ] plenty of impostor Dunkin they're sprouting up as we speak how dare you lie to those people out there and not prepare them for the inevitable Joey [ __ ] Diaz you can't get him on Twitter as Joey Diaz mad flavor cuz he is mad flavor mad flavor he is he's the only semi-white dude who's allowed to have a non deure and we is that how I said that's right yes yeah non deur thank you it's a pseudonym ladies and gentlemen tell [ __ ] next week flavor with the flying Jew Ari sha one of the best shows you're going to see period good time's up there this week and we come in Christina and P is there Sunday come in on [ __ ] Wednesday that's how we do it opening up doors promote we're ready we're there cocksuck bring Rea THC the Santana alms I don't give a [ __ ] oh we're coming in hot [ __ ] it this weekend I'm at the Ontario Improv with the one and only Tommy [ __ ] seura AKA Tommy buns buns AKA high and tight bu and he's there Friday and Saturday and then on Sunday it's the wonderful and Luscious Tony hinchcliff Tony hinchliff on Sunday perhaps Joey Dez will be stopping by this weekend but we can't we can't promise anything hopefully he may he may not he may nap trying to he eat two cookies and go deep into the abyss and come back with new information in a physical form you know me guys Brian Redban what's up with you you got a Friday night at the ice house tonight uh no I'm going to be at La podfest tonight uh with Mark Marin and Doug Benson doing a live show but October 31st death squads at American Comedy Co for Halloween with Tony Hench Cliff Sam tripley and a lot of surprise guest oh [ __ ] November 20th San Francisco punchline oh [ __ ] San Francisco punch line by the way one of the 10 greatest clubs in the history of Comedy one of the 10 greatest San Francisco punch line love it it's right up there with me it's right up there with the comedy store or the Comedy Works in in uh Denver right up there with The Comedy Store in Hollywood those perfectly designed clubs punchline San Francisco is the [ __ ] bees knees Duncan peace anything to add this is a
beautiful 10th podcast or 400th podcast whatever was we love you that's it I [ __ ] love these [ __ ] we love these people that that moonshine was good can you appreciate all the what this is going on or does it seem like to me it seems craziness it seems like it doesn't even make sense none of it makes sense there too many people there too many numbers it's too too nutty I don't want to think about it we just did Toronto we did Toronto me Callen and Tommy sagora might have been the [ __ ] craziest weekend we've ever had ever it was Madness when when Brian K went on stage to to open up the show the [ __ ] I I really wish I filmed it I [ __ ] up and didn't film it they went ape [ __ ] I mean they went [ __ ] ape [ __ ] they went crazy and then secure came out they went crazy Toronto was amazing it was amazing it's like it's it's hard to quantify how [ __ ] good it was Toronto is such a cool City it's about as cool as it gets but this the this thing that we're doing right now this podcast is just changed my life and I know it's changed your life and it's know I know it's changed all of our Lives it's some crazy [ __ ] M nobody but it's we found a hole we found a hole pulling people through [ __ ] come on through [ __ ] all right we love the [ __ ] out of you guys and uh we will see you next week we got a lot of people coming up um uh I'm in negotiations right now not negotiations conversations Sam Harris mayor Keenan Neil degi Tyson we got a lot of coming up Greg PRS is coming up we got um Graham Hancock is coming back cool we should get Dr Drew man oh I would love to get Dr Drew uh David Cox we got a lot of people coming up a lot of uh interesting ones into November um I booked a bunch of uh a bunch of cool people in November as well um so uh Dave asprey's coming back we got a lot of people coming back all right um thank you everybody for uh allowing us to get to this crazy number of 400 we love the [ __ ] out of you people we can't believe that this has gotten to where it is we never saw it coming Brian and I started almost 400 400 shows ago four almost four years ago um just hanging out of my house with a a laptop snowflakes spinning Apple logo yeah and uh here we are having a good time together still growing and we grow from
you too we appreciate the [ __ ] out of you guys and believe me it's no small thing that we we we have a great sense of of a not we we owe you guys I mean that's how I feel we we have a great sense of uh attachment there's this is not just uh a one-way Street and we want you to know that uh we appreciate the [ __ ] out of you guys there's a massive amount of appreciation from Joey from Ari from Brian from Duncan from all of us we love the [ __ ] out these people from everybody Tate and Eddie Bravo feels the same we all feel the same and uh thank you to all our sponsors as well all of them including the one that sponsored this show Legal Zoom use the code name Rogan legal zoom.com and uh save yourself some money squarespace.com use the code word JRE to get yourself uh $110 awesome bonus situation type activity and uh on it.com use the code name Rogan save 10% off any all supplements all right we love the [ __ ] out of you guys big kiss how [Music] [Applause] [Music]