Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O4wc6kmgoD8
The jogan Experience Eddie Bravo what's happening [ __ ] you're a month away from having a kid you're sitting there like [ __ ] Buddha with no [ __ ] food talk to me [ __ ] I love it you ready for this man are you ready you got to be [ __ ] ready don't tell me this [ __ ] hell yeah you got to be ready have you picked a name yet don't tell me that you looked at a TV show on Discovery I want you to tell me you went to your uncle's house and changeed some diapers I've been W to have a kid for a while and we tried to you know this was planned this was was not an accident I I wanted a I wanted a kid you know I'm proud of you I'm happy for it's going to be a fascinating experience man I see what it did for you I see what it did for you you're a different [ __ ] man for sure Chang me as a human being first it was the reefa when you came to me you said you had the best ice cream sunday in your life the other night would be Bravo the way you gave it to me that was beautiful and then next thing you know Mrs Rogan came on the scene I seen the whole dud I will never forget the day Eddie Bravo got me high we that we went and had ice cream Sunday and I had the most massive revelation of my life I couldn't believe how godamn good that ice cream Sunday taste I between me and you that was the first time you ever straightened up before then you were a [ __ ] ape you were still bent over if I drew you a banana you'd eat the [ __ ] peel seriously that day after you ate that banana Dairy Queen you were back you were back your chest was up and [ __ ] well you guys know me I don't know me as well as you guys know me oh please that was it you were walking out all four that [ __ ] day I know I'm a different person I'm a lot more relaxed and everything but it must have been interesting much more for you to watch someone change their personality it's a [ __ ] beautiful thing man I love to see Evolution I a people watch it I love to watch people and shut your [ __ ] mouth don't say sh don't say nothing to him let him walk into that hole don't say nothing but I think coming from you know my background you know like doing martial arts competitions my whole life and then just transition right into comedy I had never relaxed I never settled down I never I never learned how
to just become C you know it was my my whole body and my brain my personality all veloped under duress it all developed under you know physical combat all the time on a regular basis constant training constant fights constant tournaments that was how that was my life from like the time I was 15 till I was like 22 all my formative years was all spent in in stress and I remember when I first decided that I wasn't going to fight anymore it was like the first time ever in my life when I was like 22 my my last kickboxing fights i' the first time everwhere I could relax I would always like be nervous like when is the next tournament when's the next fight when's the next thing I got to get in shape I can't be drinking this I can't be doing this couldn't live my life cuz I was always worrying about getting my ass kicked I was always worrying about like I have to make sure that I do everything right I got to be prepared I don't want to get [ __ ] up you know so it's like it's it wasn't the best mindset to go into stand-up comedy for that's for sure it's like a constant battle because stand-up comedy you got to it's totally the opposite you got to not give a [ __ ] you know you got to you got to be relaxed you got to have fun instead of be tense and ready to go at any moment's notice you know you sent me uh by the way whatever you sent me doesn't work one of them doesn't work the other two do check your emails yeah I just you you sent me two things and both of them are like movies that are one second long what yeah Brian check it again dude I know it's I know it's good I'll resend it okay [ __ ] 15 to 22 my mind wasn't fighting I wasn't a fighter but I was in a different type of hell I was in my own hell I was putting myself into you know it's so weird that I became a comic what six seven eight years later or something like that and how I took that wildness into the [ __ ] comic and nobody understood what I was saying till I met you guys at the store I found the [ __ ] home I was always I used to travel on the road with trible and do all these little road things I remember when I first met you at the store everybody was [ __ ] terrified of you yeah I was crazy nobody you you and I I I remember being like the only guy
like when I first met you that was like he's great what are you talking about I love that guy and every's like oh here comes Joey Diaz like where's he at I like would gravitate towards you was crazy you didn't scare me you were nice to me you know you was you you you weren't a scary guy to me you were a regular dude I I could you were like one of the only guys there that I could relate to there was like a lot of guys that I couldn't relate to I Knew dudes like you you know I mean not you but you and my friend Johnny B the pool Hustler very similar characters man very very similar characters you're both way out there you both like not give a [ __ ] guys and you're both guys that were like polarizing some people would love you to death and then everybody you know there was A A large group of people that for whatever reason they'd be upset at you like I remember having to defend you even a damara even D marera was hating on you for everybody every and I don't get and I loved it I [ __ ] loved it because that's why you know it's so weird that this whole surgery thing really taught me about fear my fear has [ __ ] done wonders for me because that's why when I wake up in the morning that's the first thing I [ __ ] do is grab my [ __ ] [ __ ] because for years I was scared I'm always insecure that immigrant [ __ ] thing shizzel into my [ __ ] mind since the streets of New York City with the white K The Immigrant thing not knowing the language not feeling good enough like everybody else not being a [ __ ] American and it sits inside my [ __ ] soul so for me everything has been Riven on fear every time I get on stage like the other night fear was real in Chicago I got on stage in between the reefer and whatever was going on and the lights I got fearful man but you know what that's normal to be scared that's a great emotion especially when you're a standup comic because when the the more scared you are the better you're going to [ __ ] do especially in my case the more riled up I am 2 minutes before I go on stage the more energy I'm going to give that [ __ ] audience but I've looked at my life and I've seen how much fear I was petrified to go get that [ __ ] needle even though I [ __ ] knew nothing was going to happen I was going to walk out of there but I went in I took the needle
and after I walked out of that needle I could have [ __ ] killed 10 [ __ ] people with my bare hands because you overcome one of your biggest [ __ ] fears till this day I get little emails and people like you know i suff i s I suffer from a social disorder and I don't know what to do well the answer ain't taking a [ __ ] pill it's checking your [ __ ] confidence and grabbing your balls and walking into a circle and saying [ __ ] it I'm here you know my mentality was always go into the mouth of the line and put a chair down and sit the [ __ ] down and let the pieces fall where they may and if you're not going to live like that [ __ ] them all I'm at the store two [ __ ] nights Joe Rogan the first [ __ ] Night Eddie Griffin bumps me you know how embarrassing that is you become a regular on a Sunday the first [ __ ] night you let bring 11 people to come see you your landlord comes and you get bumped by Eddie Griffin and the second night I go up there and Steve Greenstein says to me hey last weekend you [ __ ] auditioned here for Ming you said what are my jokes I said it's February [ __ ] 11th I just come off a plane January 29th and you're already accusing me of being a [ __ ] thief and remember he had his violin case who Steve Greenstein I don't remember him was a creepy guy older guy that hung out at the comedy Stone he had a violin case so this is a Tuesday night it's black at The Comedy Store it's 8:00 the main room is packed but the original room be empty because people were scared to go up there on Black Knight cuz they thought they were going to get [ __ ] mugged so the original room was always empty so Steve Greenstein was up before me he get this is my second night at The Comedy Store dog I just got to La I'm a [ __ ] criminal I've been in prison I got all these problems but for the first time in my life I got a little [ __ ] daylight at The Comedy Store this lady made me a regular all my life people were like has M sure seen you has MIT sure seen you she going to make you a [ __ ] regular I get down there I'm a regular this is the first time since my mother died I had any luck I had been in prison I had been divorced you know shot I the whole [ __ ] deal and the next thing you know I become a regular it's Tuesday night and I get off stage and I'm waiting to
hang out for a little while and Steve Greenstein comes out to me and he says to me dog one of your jokes is like my joke I said which one he said something about OJ Simpson's made I go Doug I didn't steal the joke from me I just [ __ ] got here two weeks ago Wheels comes out he goes this guy didn't steal the joke from you the only problem was the guy put the violin case behind his [ __ ] legs and I spotted it so he starts threatening me he's like dog the next time you do that joke we're going to have a problem I just pushed him Joe Rogan he fell over the violin case why as he's falling down mit's limo pulls up that's it I'm like I'm done this is my life I'm [ __ ] gone out of here I'm never going to get another [ __ ] spot again I'm going to go back to sell and [ __ ] blow and wheels got between us Scott day got between us and mity came on and go oh what happened here and he started saying he goes no this kid's Cuban blah blah blah blah and but mity seen the kid on the floor and fell in love with me after that cuz I pushed that [ __ ] she liked the fact up for myself sure you got lucky she was crazy sure she liked all if that happened at the [ __ ] improv I would have been out on the [ __ ] Street how often did you perform at the Improv not for a while in those days in those days every week because the the guy Richard Cooper loved me the talent coordinator bro I got to La January 29th that was a regular at the store February 19th on my birthday I didn't [ __ ] around this time when I got here but you couldn't do the Improv mity found out but I went to Scott day and said dog Richard Cooper gives me spots so I would go over there and I had a couple problems over there right off the [ __ ] bat people thought they were cute over there you know you you leave your [ __ ] girlfriend at the seat you go to the bathroom you come back there talking to them like they know that is an issue you know it's a [ __ ] issue and you got to you got to stop them like I told you like Hitler and Munich if not you're going to have a [ __ ] problem dog so I would say things to people and all of a sudden you're a bad [ __ ] person so what the [ __ ] I don't give a [ __ ] and we're here 12 years later and we're still Rock and rolling they can still suck my dick and call me shorty
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