Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZGKqw9lu158
Jo podcast check it out The Joe Rogan Experience Train by day Joe Rogan podcast by night all day Trevor Moore ladies and gentlemen uh Trevor walked in the first thing you said is I I have one of these electronic cigarettes do you mind if I take a hit off of it and just synchronicity it was just when Jamie put together this thing that this dude sent me that you could kind of lift weights with insane you could [ __ ] kill somebody with this for sure because it's like it's very heavy and there's all these sharp edges for the folks uh at home that are not uh watching they're just listening this is so unnecessary it it must weigh I would say a a pound maybe two two pounds maybe you need like a briefcase for it how much would you say that weighs if you had a guess like a pound maybe yeah more than that I would feel like yeah maybe two lbs yeah this is this is the heaviest one of these I've ever seen so [ __ ] stupid and so you um you you take it's it's tobacco and you you know you press the button the bottom has a button and you take a it's like it doesn't even look like you're supposed to be sucking on that thing it looks like uh like an exhaust for a very small car any you I mean it might as well have like if it's going to be like that it might as well have like a brass knuckles component yeah so it could be like a self-defense weapon yeah like a key ring and you know mean like right try getting out on a [ __ ] plane like try telling the people on the plane e this is my vape I'm a part of Vape culture and uh I like vaping so I vaping this on a plane um a dude came up to me at the Improv and was talking to me he had one of those yours sounds cool yours has a weird tone to it yeah Jamie said it sounded like Darth Vader's voice it's Darth Vader Whispering it's a quiet Darth Vader this doesn't really have much of a noise play mine here mine is just is just the sound of breathing and then a giant puff of smoke yours doesn't have as much smoke either no I think my my coils are bad I've got to redo the coils bad coils man what is go you know this started off with those little fake cigarette jammies like those blue cigarettes well I've been doing this since 2007 you early adopter I know
like well if they if they find out that something's wrong with these I'm like post like you know cuz it takes like 20 years to actually figure out if something's wrong they go hey um whoa this is stop everybody hold uh but when I started you had to get them from England like uh yeah you would order it my friend uh was a comic who was like you know I was smoking too much and he and he was like I just quit I started doing this stuff and you order it from England and they would send it in um uh in like vials of the the nicotine liquid and they had all these the gloves that would come with it and it would say they had this book that was like if you get this on your hands and it uh absorbs in it can give you a heart attack what the [ __ ] man yeah I don't know if it was they were just being like you know over cautious or whatever but I was like you know every time I had to fill it I was in the bathroom like making sure there was people in my house like all right if I get this on my hands run me to the hospital or something that's so ridiculous that's so rid if you get it on your hand you'll die well how how potent could that be this stuff they the guy are sent it to me he sent me little bottles of this Jazz um this one says strawberry custard yeah that's that's the thing now it's all like it's all fruit flavors like I I do the like pipe tobacco flavored it might say strawberry custom this is a shitty handwriting you're smoking on uh crunchberry crunchberry like what does that say does that say custom or custard custard custard yeah shitty handwriting why you strawberry custard you think would someone would print that out this is like the beta this is the test yeah I'm not sure about this well I um I like puffing on those little uh blue cigarettes like before I do standup cuz I feel like it gives you like cuz I know nicotine like it's one of the things I read in Stephen King's book um on writing uh it was a great book have you ever read it no it's um Stephen King sort of like uh I think he calls it a memoir of The Craft or something along those lines but it's basically like talking all about his writing habits and his just his the discipline of writing and you know what what you shouldn't shouldn't do and you know how he started
out writing and it's really really inspiring great book but one of the things in the book he talks about cigarettes and he just when he quit smoking cigarettes it had a an adverse effect on his writing yeah like he felt like his synapses didn't fire up as well and I thought that was really interesting so I started reading up on nicotine and nicotine's effect on the brain and it's kind of a bit of a cognitive enhancer you know it's a bit of a stimulant it well yeah and it's one of the things uh like one of the good things about nicotine that they don't really talk about that much is that they think that it uh staves off Alzheimer's that that's crazy it's like um or there's some some sort of correlation between smoking and less likely to get Alzheimer's side maybe the cancer is doing battle with the Alzheimer's kill you first so they go to war and then your body survives it's a battlefield or they could everyone dies before the age of where you usually get Alzheimer's well have you heard of that they're doing things like they're shooting HIV into cancer and it's killing cancer oh really yeah there's all these weird bizarre studies that they're doing now or tests where they're injecting like tumors and different you know really [ __ ] up parts of your body with other diseases and the other diseases are attacking the [ __ ] up parts of your body but then do you have AIDS don't worry about AIDS you got cancer you're going to die cancer people live with AIDS Magic Johnson looks great it's not AIDS it's HIV HIV but does that does that does that make you HIV positive if you're putting I think so I think it's an inert form of HIV okay allegedly I don't know some people don't you know I mean if you're going to die have cancer if you had a choice between like pancreatic cancer or HIV you should take HIV all day right cuz they got that thing pretty nailed down like I have a friend who I've known for maybe 20 years and he's been HIV positive for like most of that time and he's great he's fine yeah he's fine he's normal I mean you see him he's always laughing and just nothing wrong with him huh it's weird when was the turn for that was it like I don't know it's it's like last 10 years right where all of a sudden it's not as not not to say it's
not as big of a deal but like it's a certainly less of it it's less of a death sentence you know I don't think it's a death sentence at all anymore I mean it's a testament to science these protas Inhibitors and all these different things that they figured out how to how to stunt the uh progress of HIV it's it's super controversial because there's been a lot of like weird uh correlations between um the crushing of the immune system like OB obviously it's everyone's in agreement that hi or most people are in agreement that HIV is what causes AIDS but there's a bunch of people that say well it's that maybe but there's also this thing about partying that like in the gay community especially there's rampant drug abuse like and that they for whatever reason people don't want to factor that in and there was this guy that I had on the podcast that I think had a faulty uh connection and his is he's he's actually a biologist at the University of Berkeley uh University of California Berkeley his name is Peter duberg and he's super controversial because he doesn't believe that HIV causes AIDS he thinks that aids is uh you know AIDS being immune deficiency syndrome acquire immune acquired immune deficiency syndrome and he believes that it is directly correlated with partying directly correlated with use of crystal meth with um poppers AML nitrate crushing the immune system and no other scientist support him no credible scientist support him so we had him on the podcast he was pretty convinced convincing to an idiot like me with zero medical or biological studying but the more I talk to people who understand no one wanted to debate him which is really interesting but I think it's kind of like debating a holocaust dener it's a controversial yeah it's a you don't want to you don't want to give him any credit you know so he's like he's got tenure at University of California Berkeley but he can't get any funding anymore nobody wants to have anything to do with apparently he's done tremendous work with with cancer but because of this whole HIV AIDS connection thing he's kind of blackballed and uh I I was in touch with a lot of scientists after this was over it was really interesting because like people got really upset
with that podcast uh with him on that podcast and then me giving him a platform and I'm like look man the guy was in Spin Magazine he's you know he's been he's written a bunch of articles about this I just wanted to hear what he had to say about it yeah so having him on was pretty interesting but I think it's I don't think he's right but I think he has a point in that it's got to have an adverse effect on your body and gay people like the party I mean it's just a fact you know and crystal meth use and Amal nitrate use and like those are devastating to your immune system so if you've already got something going on you know you're more susceptible yes yeah but that doesn't it doesn't get factored in very often and I think that's where duberg because he kind of brings that up I think you know kind of gives the whole thing is a little bit cloudy because of that and because it doesn't get factored in but uh that shit's super super bad for your body HIV no partying partying all that you know the the poppers and crystal meth and all that [ __ ] it's just like you know gay people don't have kids or if they do have kids it's rare you know they just they're out there having a good [ __ ] time you know just doing math and banging each other getting sick I uh I always uh I love like U I hang out on this a couple conspiracy theory boards um just because I'm like fascinated by it like I just it's one of my favorite things in the world are this conspiracy theories like even ones I don't believe in I just love them like my favorite one ever is um there's a whole bunch of people out there who actually think that Lady Gaga is John Benet ramsy oh good lord yeah like for real yeah like there's a whole bunch of people that think that and so it's like those things where they put up the pictures where they show like the eye like the eyes are the same you know distance across and like that kind of thing but uh there's one there's a whole group of people who don't think Magic Johnson ever had HIV um they think that it was a um a kind of a almost a PR campaign to get awareness out really yeah I'm not I don't I don't believe that but it's like it's a fascinating conspiracy theory that where people are just like it was a huge problem it was a problem in like inner cities and he was the biggest guy
at the time he was kind of like this huge role model and for somebody like him to come out and say I have HIV then like that it could be like a big kind of get awareness out kind of thing that's like so he conspired that's what that's I mean why would he do that yeah but it's a big it's a conspiracy theory that so ridiculous well he's one of the few guys that was reportedly heterosexual that got it you know like did you ever see uh Sam kennison's bit Sam Kennison you hear the crackle ladies and gentlemen he's going in I'll go in too and support solidarity whoa oh yeah synapsis um the um [ __ ] what was I saying this stuff got Sam Sam Kennon Sam Kennison had a bit about it you know you know cuz he had he made fun of AIDS and they say sam you know AIDS is a communicable disease heterosexuals ding with too he goes name one name one [ __ ] guy it's not our dance um you know but really there's not that many there's a very few me when I was a kid and I heard about Magic Johnson getting HIV I remember thinking oh my God everyone's going to have AIDS and like maybe maybe a a year or two later I got health insurance and I had to get an AIDS test and I was [ __ ] terrified just thinking of all the drunken poor choices with no condom and oh my goodness it's going to happen I have AIDS I'm only 25 I have AIDS [ __ ] and then uh I didn't have AIDS so I was super psyched but then I started looking into it it's like this almost like very very few heterosexual people that aren't intren drug users users yeah that get AIDS yeah I mean I I mean I remember like uh when I was a kid it was they they treated it like it was you know you have sex without a condom once you're going to get it it's just it's an inevitable you know kind of thing and now I think now they're kind of backing off that a little bit where it's like well it's actually not I think it's way more easy for a woman because obviously the woman takes sperm into her body and her body absorbs it or gay men cuz you're in a gay man even you're taking it in your ass and you're not supposed to have [ __ ] in your ass what's that it's on oh just sitting it down made it oh just this stupid [ __ ] thing is so heavy there's probably a safety on it mine has a safety on the bottom this is there's no safety on this piece of [ __ ]
oh my God it's so hot oh my God if I if I lick that right now if I tried to suck on it it would probably burn I can't even set it down I got to set it down sideways you can't set this for people at home that are listening which is most people let me see it you um oh you're right jeez yeah the top of it is super hot see there's a safety right here so you spin that down oh I'm taking it off that's a lot of safety that's a battery well mine has a yours is better mine has a thing don't do it like that see you're doing it again smoke started coming out of this this thing I'm trying to describe it you know what it looks like it looks like a spaceship in a shitty 1990s sci-fi movie that's what it looks like like that could be a some sort of a spaceship like you know yeah it's [ __ ] horrible um AIDS where were we conspiracy theories AIDS um yeah I don't remember what it was I don't remember what we're talking about but the John Benet thing is interesting um when I was uh living in Colorado I actually looked at her house the house that she was killed in I didn't look at it in person but it was for sale and uh I was like wow what a beautiful house like this is pretty reasonable for what it is and they actually changed the street name they changed the street name or changed the address one of those and like to try to hide the fact that it was the house where John Benet died but they have to disclose it don't they they do have to disclose it and that's the problem they can't [ __ ] sell it yeah who's going to buy that it's a beautiful house it's really nice and it's in a nice area of Boulder but nobody wants that [ __ ] house no $10 wouldn't buy it I'd buy it for 10 bucks it would you sleep Ines for a show for a TV show like a ghost show it's [ __ ] up man that whole story is oh like I think I think that whole child pageant thing is one of the most [ __ ] up things when you see little kids with high heels and makeup on yeah dressed up like you know they're trying to get laid it's just so crazy it's like yeah the the worst parenting it's weird man we were in Dallas and we were doing the Improv and the hotel that we were staying at was the exact same hotel where they were having one of
these pageants and we it was me and I think Duncan and Joey and we were walking around the hotel going what the [ __ ] is this yeah it was all little tiny kids like five like I have a I have a four-year-old and I have a six-year-old so they were like my kids age but they were wearing high heels where they could barely walk and they were fully doled up I mean eyelashes full makeup war paint teased up Texas style hair like little dresses I mean it was disgusting it was disturbing it was really really weird just the fact of just putting them into like a judging scenario at that age yeah you know kind of like well you weren't the best kid yeah you know you didn't you know everyone you got up in front of everyone but they like this other kid better than you so yeah psychologically rattle that around in your brain for your whole life my daughter was playing softball or uh soccer rather for a while and uh her nickname was Bruiser CU my youngest one is like super aggressive she's crazy but she's really like she's a sweetie but when it comes to things she's like ah she loves like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and she has a Superman lunchbox she's probably a lesbian but uh I love her to death but she's she's really athletic and so she's only four and so they had her in soccer and she's just scoring goals like crazy this the the game starts boom she scores the first goal she runs with the ball boom scores the second goal I mean she's like a little animal and then the other team scored and she started crying cuz the other team was cheering she started crying like that the the family on the other side the families were cheering and then she's like I don't want to play anymore and then the coach is like you got to go back out there there and play I'm like you don't have to play I go it's just stupid it's a ball going into the net I go if you're not enjoying it don't do it I go but you shouldn't worry about the other team like scoring but I knew that she couldn't kind of internalize that so I said this is no big deal like I don't want to make it a big deal cuz I think that Sports a lot of times parents they [ __ ] their kids up because they make like winning and losing this like huge deal or playing you got to get out there and you got to [ __ ] play yeah figure that out when you're older you know when you're four
you should be having fun you know and that's I and the coach was like sitting down with her trying to psych her out the coach is dumb as [ __ ] so when she's sitting down she's giving her this dumb psychology I was like whoa whoa whoa stop stop stop stop stop don't teach my kid come here honey it's all right it's no big deal she's like You' got to go out there and you got to just go out there and you get that score back whatever they scored if you feel bad you got to go no get out of here no you don't yeah have fun relax like this is just supposed to be fun so the idea that you could take someone that age and then judge them on their looks that's [ __ ] insane and then you know they have like a talent portion where they have they sing and they do little dances and they're high heels and it's like what the [ __ ] man like it's so unhealth who was the pedophile that invented this I just think the first guy who was like I have an idea for a thing to do I think it's people that are just living through their kids man yeah you see that a lot with with sports you know you really see that a lot with um you know people that uh like it's usually fathers with their sons like fathers like like really [ __ ] their kids up because they're like super some guys you know obviously some guys like [ __ ] their kids up because they're super super super invested in their kid being successful like I've seen kids not do well at certain Sports and seen their fathers yelling at them you you're talking about like 10-year-old kids like God damn man like you're going to the only way this kid's ever going to get good at something is if he's rewarded for his hard work and then if he gets a sort of an understanding of what is healthy and what is not healthy about competition and what's definitely not healthy is you in you putting everything on the line for this kid like it's everything like your love your love is invested in this kid knocking a ball into a net this is [ __ ] Preposterous this just so goofy dad just see that Tiger Woods money you think that's what it is I mean I don't know I mean it's it's probably it's probably colum which just them trying to you know redo their you know what they wish they had done but then there's also like my kid could be the greatest quarterback my kid could be you know yeah I think that could be
in the future like they might be looking at it that way we got to get you one that doesn't make that noise mic you do it's okay just push the microphone to the side but the audience is probably going what people that have headphones on is that the headphones are the real issue sorry cuz sometimes we have these uh fight Companion podcast where we have a bunch of guys in here and we watch fights and people start eating snacks and they're eating like right into the m microphone and if you're listening if you have headphones on it's [ __ ] maddening but it's hard you know you're drinking and smoking pot and people forget and they start chewing um anyway John Ben Ramsey not not a good place to buy a house okay Aid is done John B Ramsay's done we covered those super duper important things conspiracy there's one that thinks they think that Bill Hicks and Alex Jones are the same person oh I've seen that yeah trust me I met both of them they're different humans [ __ ] Christ people are so crazy could you imagine like why why would you do that I want to know if anybody ever done that has anybody ever faked their own death Tupac um Andy cman yeah Andy caufman and Tupac live on an island somewhere okay um what a boring [ __ ] life waiting to die of old age yeah but that's also maybe one of the best sitcoms ever Tupac and Andy Kaufman alone on an island somewhere like an Odd Couple how long before gay [ __ ] starts happen happening how many months in h it's got to be early right away yeah right away just [ __ ] it we're here on an island let's be honest no one's rescuing us I don't know um of anyone that's ever faked their own death successfully I know some people have tried there was a guy that I remember he it was some business guy who apparently got busted swindling or something like that and he faked his own death but they caught him a few years later yeah and then that guy that's in that that movie The Jinx that the show the Jin yeah that guy that what is his name Robert uher yeah he did he no but he disappeared and pretended he was a woman right he pretended he was a mute woman like put on a wig and dressed like a woman and then as a mute woman murdered another guy and then took off and that's like WHYY buer did it for a while that's
right he disappeared but he didn't fake his own death no yeah I heard I don't know if this is true I heard and I don't I don't remember where I heard it so this could just be nonsense but that uh what his plan was to do is like when he was going to get old and die he was going to go out into the desert dig a hole and just basically you know kill himself in the hole so they never find him like yeah I don't know if that's true or not I I heard that you got to kill yourself where animals will eat you right that's the move what you should do if anybody wants to kill themselves and not be found go to Alberta go to Alberta Canada MH go to where the Bears are because there's sections of Alberta Canada that are literally infested with black bears you and they have a few Grizzlies up there as well but I've never seen more bears in one place in my life like in one day you'll see 16 bears like no [ __ ] and [ __ ] big bears s foot bears and just blow your brains out cover yourself with honey yeah cuz other bears eat honey right and they'll eat you they'll have you'll be gone they'll eat your bones they'll eat everything they'll eat every every single piece of who you are they'll [ __ ] out your teeth and that's that'll be a wrap nobody will find you it's a good it's a good life hack or the ocean the ocean is probably the best they just not going to find you the if you go out far enough and just jump just jump out yeah just start breathing water you'll just [ __ ] sink to the bottom the odds of your body making it all the way to shore not so good yeah I mean think about how goddamn big the ocean is who's going to find you nobody that's probably a good move the ocean's probably better than the bear move it's more peaceful it's Serene I don't know about all that it's terrifying the ocean's peaceful in the day at night time it's [ __ ] horrific yeah I was uh I went out sailing once uh in New York and we went out like a little far and then it got dark o and uh we were trying to come back and it was all of a sudden the waves got bigger and it was actually it's like a sailboat so like really kind of you know with with the old like wheel and everything and actually like feeling like the the strength of the Waves trying to get back and it was really [ __ ] terrifying like trying to get back to New York
that's a crazy way to die man your boat tips over trying to scramble and hope the boat stays afloat sideways and the water's cold yeah I um my kitchen was getting fixed there was some [ __ ] wrong with my kitchen so we decided to rent we said oh we'll you know what we'll do we'll rent a house on the water you know rent a house on the beach for a couple months and uh I got barbecued one night the first night we went there I got super duper high and in the daytime it was beautiful like the like you look out the window where you're eating breakfast and it would just be ocean just like right there in the ocean like wow so pretty but at night time that same view is horrifying because the sky is black and the water's black and you keep [Music] hearing and it's like it reveals itself to you like oh you thought that this was like your playground beautiful there's a [ __ ] monster that could swallow up the whole city and not even know it yeah like the ocean could just swallow Los Angeles one day with one burp SL fart of the tectonic plates at least malib o oh yeah Malibu would be done Santa Monica done yeah all that the prominade done just all those the mall area with all the shops and people playing songs you don't want to hear out in the street 100 foot high waves just pouring in covering everything for three four miles deep that's nothing that's happened a 100,000 [ __ ] times in the course of the Earth yeah and we just set up houses there dig them in bo bo little [ __ ] posts have a little wave wall I was terrified in that house man I barely stayed in it I rented it for a few months and I wanted to to staying in my my other house my my actually my house with the [ __ ] up kitchen I was cooking on a hot plate I was like I feel more comfortable here are you afraid of tsunamis I'm afraid of everything yeah I'm afraid of everything I'm afraid of asteroids wolves tsunamis are like the one sun birds one disaster for some reason I'm not afraid of really yeah I don't know why like my wife is terrified that's like her biggest fear tsunamis she's smart and like whenever I see the tsunami and I know this is just this is naive but whenever I look at the tsunami footage and stuff I feel like I could I think I I feel like I could get away
like but got so scared of tsunami I spilled Cofe over my shirt you really think you could get away I know it's I know it's stupid and I probably couldn't but I just have that kind of thought where like I feel like if I had to pick a natural disaster like I'm afraid of earthquakes uh asteroids um but like uh tsunamis I would I would take that do you imagine if you did if you if you were right and you like tsunami came and you survived and like a thousand people dead Trevor Mo how did you survive they're all [ __ ] how did they not survive some [ __ ] water just swim no I just be like you know what I kind of always deep down felt like I could do it and you know it just turned out God told me I would be fine and the water is just water just keep swimming and you're fine no if you ever been caught in an undertoe uh not a big one um like I go surfing and stuff and like like you know I've never been caught in like a one that was I've been caught in one and been like oh I'm in an undertoe you know uh but not not a bad one you know I've never been caught in a bad one either but I got caught in one that was enough that freaked me the [ __ ] out I got caught in one um God I don't remember where it was but I remember like oh this is that what that is and I'm you know pretty athletic I'm in pretty good shape but I was thinking man what if I was like an old lady or you know a young kid yeah I was like this is not good like the water just started pulling me back and it was pretty rapping I was like oh [ __ ] this and so I just start you got to kind of swim sideways yeah lateral towards the shore Greg Fitz Simmons had to rescue someone he was on vacation with his family and uh some woman got caught in the undertoe and she was screaming and she was getting pulled out and he looked around and there was no lifeguard there was no nothing and she was just getting pulled and so he was there with his [ __ ] wife and his kids he went holy [ __ ] okay here we go and he just jumped out there and you know you got to like know how to hold on to people when you're saving them he didn't know how to they're panicking and they're just trying to get to Higher Ground on top of you they'll pull you with them they'll pull you with them and she she did not know how to do that and so like you know he barely made
it he barely made it and saved this this woman but that moment when you you have to make that decision do I risk my life to try to save some person because you might be get to a point where you're like oh my God I'm going to have to punch this chick in the face and swim by myself cuz she's going to drag me under right like there's those weird moments that actually happen to people when they're trying to save someone they realize I'm going to die too cuz this person's an idiot you know they're they're or maybe not an idiot but they can't they're panicking they don't know how to deal with stress some people given the exact same circumstance just know how to stay calm and they'll be fine and other people they just and they can't breathe like you're like breathe breathe they can't breathe and oh [ __ ] Christ like I can't teach you how to breathe here while we're both trying to swim for our lives [ __ ] and me his wife and his kids were watching this whole thing happen and you know he kind of figured out how to grab her and swim to the shore with her and that's some terrifying [ __ ] yeah that's I mean like yeah people we were um we were doing like River kind of rafting not I mean just like kind of in a like you know kind of like Lazy River kind of stuff up in Cape Cod once I mean and a bunch of friends and uh this River comes out to the the ocean and when it came out to the ocean there was one of our friends who doesn't swim um so I don't know why he was with us but like but he was on one of those inner tubes just kind of like a life raft on too no he was just kind of tubing but it was like a river it was a river we and so it got to the ocean and it was the same kind of thing where it just um this River just shoots stuff you know it shoots the water out into the ocean really far so he went all of a sudden way out and uh we're all we're all you know back on the beach and we're like oh wait holy [ __ ] like uh Chris can't swim oh God so we're like going and and we see that he's panicking and in his Panic what he did was he jumped off of the raft oh no because he he the raft was going out to Ocean and he just wanted to get back to the shore so he doesn't know how to swim I know but in the panic in that moment like your brain doesn't really make the right decisions so how'd you get him what
happened he died no no no no we had people had to swim out and like God get them back did you get the raft too um I don't I don't remember money man I don't remember what happened to the raft maybe not oh [ __ ] Christ oh my friend Remy Remy Warren he uh was uh on a river once he was right next to a river and uh some stuff started he talked about it on the podcast for folks listening to this his his version is going to be way better than mine but he saw some stuff floating down the river and then a guy face down body uh floating down the river and then he realized holy [ __ ] like this is like a capsized boat it was freezing cold water and then a woman uh hanging on for dear life screaming and he said holy [ __ ] here we go and he just jumped in the river and it was freezing cold water and he realized like as he was jumping in he's like okay I'm probably going to die because this you know you get hypothermia really quickly and those I mean essentially those Rivers a they're they're glaciers it's glaciers melting and they create this River and it's [ __ ] freezing cold water in the mountain and he's in this water and it's not warm out either it's cold out and so he just dove in and he's trying to save this woman and he got lucky and they both got lucky and they figured out a way to grab a hold of something and you know but he got a hold of her and then dragged her to the shore but he was pretty convinced as he jumped in like okay this is it for me it's been a fun life wow it's a good way to die though trying to save somebody else that's pretty much yeah that's pretty heroic but if she dies too you're like damn I could have lived and just watched her die yeah I felt sad and just started telling people hey man don't don't raft shit's dangerous as [ __ ] yeah all the ways to die you know that's a RI river rafting is is a really terrifying one if you see like when people there was such a reality show I forget what reality show it was but it never went to air because as they were filming like one of the First episodes someone they overturned their canoe and got trapped under a rock like the the canoe overturned and the the waves or the uh the current rather wedged them under a rock and they drowned you know and like the pilot in the pilot [ __ ]
yeah this is years back this was like right when Survivor was uh first taken off before the internet really took hold as far as like social media and TMZ type [ __ ] which they would just have a field day with this yeah but back then it was just you know the they didn't really they hadn't figured out how to use the internet for trash yet right you know but this um this this person just got stuck and I remember thinking that like okay that's not something I ever want to be a part of you don't ever want to get stuck on a freezing cold River with insanely powerful currents yeah I don't I don't I don't I mean some people like I I've done it once the river rafting kind of thing like the White Water kind of stuff like that it's just not fun to me like it's it's it's very bumpy scary it's scary there's potential death everywhere people love Thrills man they love it some people just they love that Rush that adrenaline rush just I don't know that's why could be have you ever done skydiving no yeah [ __ ] that yeah because I feel like if you if you do die skydiving it's you know it's always sad when people die but it's like you know it's kind you don't get that I mean people be like well yeah he jumped out of an airplane you know I've had friends that are EMTs that have found people you know after mhm gotten to the surface they say their body is totally intact it's everything inside outside yeah but everything inside like your bones are like pushed up through your your torso and just like you're just a bag of broken bones and destroyed organs yeah not good I read uh there's this article there was Jamie has this look on his face there's this article where they interviewed people who had actually fallen out of planes and lived oh God there's like only a handful um but they were trying to figure out how you how to do it and uh and the stories were crazy because there's this one guy who um was an old guy that they interviewed who I guess was in World War II and his um plane just exploded well he before he had jumped out kind of thing and he fell and they say that the way to do it is um and it's not like foolproof but like the people who have survived they kind of try to hit a tree and and you try to hit a tree as close
to the middle as possible but not the exact middle cuz that'll impale you but you want to hit close to the the the trunk uh where the branches are the thickest and you basically want to have all the branches break your fall on the way down and you're going to be [ __ ] up when like you uh hit the ground but the people who have lived a lot of them hit trees wow I heard a guy who lived who hit a barn and apparently he went through the roof and into the hay and somehow or another made it but he was [ __ ] up yeah I mean every bone broken back broken you know all [ __ ] up legs broken but lived somehow or another yeah uh my friend Brian his dad had worked with this guy and the guy was trying to get him to skydive and then uh you know one day went to the office and the guy wasn't there and he's like what happened where's uh where's Mike or whatever the [ __ ] his name I think it was actually a woman and uh it was like found out that the skydiving didn't go so well that weekend holy [ __ ] yeah yeah that's dead yeah skydiving I don't get that support don't like that one well you know my friend Steve Rell said it best he said there's things that are fun that are fun while you're doing them but they're not fun later and I think skydiving is one of those and roller coasters are one of those as well well they're fun while you're doing them but they're not fun later and then there's things that you do like crazy arduous hikes over mountains and you get to the top and you this insanely beautiful view and like you earn that view and you know you're camping it's freezing and you know you're [ __ ] hoofing it but when it's all over when you get together like weeks later and talk about that trip like wow you have these amazing memories like it was really cool yeah but at the time it was kind of brutal and arduous would you ever do Everest [ __ ] that yeah that's that's that's that's like what the suicide basically well you have to watch this new it's out right now I'm glad you brought this up there's a real sports with Bryant Gumble that's out right now but is it's amazing and it's on the Sherpas those [ __ ] guys who have to do all the work because they had all these experienced climbers who had summited at Everest like years and years ago and they were talking about what it
used to be like you know you used to carry your own stuff you had a minimal amount of things and now they have these companies that set it up like these luxury tours um where these Sherpas they carry like virtually anything you want like whatever you want whatever you need so they have all these prepped meals they have these tents and inside these tents they have you know gourmet food and Cs and all this stuff and these Sherpas have to carry all this stuff and it was sort of highlighting how insanely dangerous it is like there's only you know a few hundred Sherpas and over the last couple years 25 of them have died in in in avalanches and Ice Falls and the path that they take from base camp up through the mountains like within the first you know hundred yards or so you're in dangerous territory well there's dead bodies all along the trail that they they can't get them you know if you die on the mountain you stay on you're part of the mountain for then on there's like um I was there's pictures of of the bodies like online and there's one guy that just just looks like he's like slumped over taking a nap and that's what happened like he was he's still in his like parka and everything like that but he just kind of you know when you get up that high you get tired so you're like I'm just going to rest for a second and then you're there for the next 100 200 years including the first guy to ever climb Everest is he up yeah you could see his body yeah look at that guy oh that's the first guy no that's one of them look at that [ __ ] that's so creepy man but the the first guy to that's the guy right there the lower left the lower left that's the first guy to ever climb Everest holy [ __ ] yeah see I feel like that's going to suck all the fun out of no matter like how great the view is when you're walking up through just corpses you know like it's got to suck a little bit of the fun out of it looks like someone chewed on his ass look he's like got a hole in his ass like some birds came along [ __ ] but it's he's white white frozen solid face planted yeah it's terrifying yeah I'm I'm pretty sure that is the body of the first guy cuz that's an iconic photo but there's more than a hundred more than a 100 dead B how many hund how many how many dead bodies Jamie
find that out mallerie is the guy's name that died first right isn't that his name is the first guy that ever tried it I believe so he was the first guy that ever did it and then he died yeah on the way down something like that know poor bastard I'm just going to wait for virtual reality they'll put a camera up there and you can just put on goggles and go what won't mean anything it'll mean enough but it won't what the feeling of that thing is you're you experience it like like as you're walking every fiber of your being is going what the [ __ ] are you doing you got to get out of here man this is dangerous there's no air it's 18 degrees below zero it's you got a mile of walking more than 200 dead bodies oh my God some bodies even used as landmarks for other climbers [ __ ] Christ what Jesus how many people have successfully done it uh a lot that was the [ __ ] up thing about this um this real Sports thing as this guy was doing it he was talking about how crowded the Summit is now when you go up there like it's you could barely stand cuz so many people have summited there's so many people up there with you and then they showed the video of him doing it and all the people making it on the way up and there was over a hundred people on their way up the mountain I mean it was insane it was like it was a line for Disneyland like I'm not kidding that's crazy yeah look at look at that look at that look at all those [ __ ] people that's insane look at like look at the line the upper right hand corner look at the line look at that [ __ ] line now you can only do it like there's like a one week a year or something right is or it's a it's a small window isn't it like a month or two I'm not sure where the weather is okay to do it I'm not sure but they you know people die all the time doing it yeah and so these companies have sort of capitalized it one of the things they were highlighting have capitalized on two things one this desire of all these rich douche bags to you know like I'm an adventurer sumon at Everest I conquered business now I've conquered the highest mountain in the world people love saying things like that I've summoned Everest you know whoa John I'm so much more impressed with you now um but the Sherpas it was really really really really depressing because
they a lot of them come from this one town that's like you know halfway up the mountain and the town has been essentially the same way you can't even call it a town it's like a Village it's a day's walk to buy food they have to walk for a day and this family this mother and her son were just mourning the death of her husband the kid's father and it's just he was a Sher up by first day on the job first time doing it you know they needed money to try to get out of this Village and they make like $5,000 a year and it's equivalent to like that'll go for a year like probably probably like way more than anybody makes up there I wonder how why why why um I mean so it's like a I'm sure it's like a pretty much that's the that's the town business like it's a sherpa Community thing well also they're uniquely like genetically qualified for the job they living up there they live up there they're used to climbing all the time they're insanely fit because their bodies are used to like very low oxygen very high altitude on so they can do things that other people just it's like super difficult for like a person like us that lives here in La you know we're at sea level to go up there we'd be like [ __ ] you know it takes a long time for your body to adapt yeah like I lived in Colorado for a while and we were living at 8,500 feet above sea level which is like 3,000 ft above Boulder and it was just going upstairs was rough yeah these [ __ ] people are at like what 20,000 ft more even I think like the Summit is something like 29,000 ft above sea level so it's like essentially like almost as high as a jet like when AET jet is flying over Vegas like crazy [ __ ] what the [ __ ] man there's no air they do it with tanks too that's the other thing they do it with oxygen tanks yeah [ __ ] we did a show in Aspen um like at Aspen Comedy Festival and there's just like a you know it a sketch show lot of running around on thing but I had to have that oxygen tank backstage just because like from the amount of like running around like after the first show I was like I can't I can't breathe like I can't imagine being up at jet level I did Asen I did The Comedy Festival probably the same year you were there you guys you we didn't even introduce Trevor it's from The Whitest Kids you
know very very famous sketch troop you probably have seen a lot of their stuff online a lot of sketches online but um we were doing the Aspen Comedy Festival I want to say it like 2003 or something like that it was way back in the day and it was with uh I was with ls black we were on a show together and they they they had oxygen waiting for him when he got off stage like they have a tank right there a little mask like you're suck oxygen like right after you get off you know cuz Louis does that thing where he gets his fingers going and he gets very excited and you know you got no air there's no [ __ ] air up there yeah well I remember when we got there they were saying like if you if anyone's feeling faint or anything like that we have oxygen for everybody and I was like that's you know I'm not going to need that buies and then like yeah 24 hours in I was like where where is the oxygen tanks well they sell it they sell like tubes that you could bring with you like like air like looks like a can of hairspray or something or shaving cream it's got like a little little thing y but uh yeah that's nothing though I mean that's that's nothing compared to the the the altitude that these people are at so imag probably the same kind of thing basic probably the same thing what I did was basically like going to the moon on a bike yeah Aspen is a freaky Town isn't it yeah the sidewalks are heated I thought that was weird like so rich there's so much money up there it's so stupid well they have to bust everybody like uh cuz there's a McDonald's there and that and everyone who works there anyone who works in any of those shops has to be bust in from like an hour down the mountain like to work there like it's there's no no one who works there lives there no you could never afford it do they even have Apartments I mean they must have some right I don't know I don't remember seeing any but I remember seeing some stupid [ __ ] expensive houses up there it's a weird like rich people Paradise you know the stores like they have like a noou up there like super expensive sushi place like how are you getting fish up here this this ain't nowhere near the [ __ ] ocean yeah like Aspen is pretty high up there it's like 8,000 ft right something like that it's seems like it it's a
goofy airport too that's a horrible airport you have to fly like straight up like yeah the year we went they I don't think planes were coming in cuz it was snowing and so or they they called it off or something like that same with my year so then um so then it was basically everyone had to drive up the thing and that was terrifying because then the roads like you know if there's nobody driving on the road for like 5 minutes the road's gone yeah you know covered with snow yeah yeah we um we landed in Denver and then they bust us up and it took hours yeah and you're going on these winding roads in a you don't even know this driver like he might be crazy like how'd you get this job can I talk to you you're the guy driving like it's your life is on the line you're on mountains you and on the way up there's all these buses just on the side of the road theyve just been frozen there and because you can't go get them like on the way up to the Aspen Comedy Festival they're just littered with frozen comedians on buses it was a goofy place to do comedy too because like the audiences they either had to live in Aspen or they had to also like fly in for it and then they kind of realized somewhere along the line oh Executives just sort of built this Festival so they could ski yeah it's party yeah so like when I was up there I remember thinking like this is like very different from the Montreal Comedy Festival where the Montreal Comedy Festival it really did seem like it was all about the shows the shows were like an afterthought and Aspen and so they just canel it like it doesn't exist anymore and then they brought it to Vegas for a while and then we're like well this is even worse and then there's no more Festival yeah I mean HBO does HBO even have a Comedy Festival anymore think they do I don't think they do either which is a shame cuz I actually I thought it was a fun Festival but but uh yeah I guess see I enjoyed it I don't I I ski now but back then I didn't ski so I just was there just kind of having fun going this is a weird place to have a festival like why would you have a festival and then I kind of like sort of piece it together like oh you [ __ ] just like skiing you'd see all the the agents and everyone suances yeah yeah they'd all have their [ __ ] with them all their
skiing [ __ ] I was like this is [ __ ] bizarre like you guys have like this is an afterthought yeah that's that's Hollywood you know the skiing skiing terrifies me does it yeah that's that's I I put that up there with well I just I don't know you can hit a tree and then you know well you know what the thing is man just don't go on like a super tough course you know that's that's the thing about skiing like if you're going to ski like everybody wants to go like crazy skiing's fun for me when I'm in control of it like you know they have like black courses and blue like blue is like fairly easy right it's like was it like bunny slop yeah I was like well blue is not bunny Blue's pretty like I was in um Park City Utah this year and Blue's not easy like blue blue gets weird like there's some spots where like whoa this is and I think green is like maybe blue is harder than green or green is harder and blue but whatever it is I got to the the one right before black and I was like whoo this is kind of crazy you kind of figure it out you just kind of take like steep turns left and right to tr try to regulate your speed but while I was doing it there were some [ __ ] that were just experts that were flying by me just just people that are just speed demons they just really know how to do it and if they [ __ ] up ooh you know some of those guys are going they probably going like 50 m an hour or something like yeah [ __ ] it's it's no room for error no also I was with my kids and it freaked me out I was like what if some uncoordinated dummy plows into one of my kids when they're trying to learn how to ski right that's that's a potential danger but when I was a kid uh the first time I ever went skiing like um my uh I took the little lessons you know that you take your first time skiing and then we were there for it was like a Christmas thing my family was there for like a week so like by the second or third day I'm like I want to try the Black Diamond kind of thing like and my dad was like fine like he was just kind of like he was like he learn a lesson or something like yeah go for it so I took the lift up to the thing and uh and nobody said anything like it was totally everyone was like all right this kid's going to you know eat [ __ ] and uh it took me hours to get down because I
couldn't I couldn't you know stay up for more than you know 50 yards at a time without just falling cuz it just the the the slope the pitch was just so much that I just would just keep tumbling I'm like crying trying to walk down this black diamond thing while people are like flying past me oh God did you tell your dad when you got to the bottom yeah I was like I hate skiing did he say ah I wanted you to learn a lesson son take that black diamond how about a double black diamond [ __ ] yeah the Moguls are kind of crazy we were watching people doing a black diamond Mogul which uh for people who don't know what ski is like um it's like massive bumps like people like the bumps which I I'm real confused I didn't understand why they would like you get sick air is that what it is I think I think isn't that is it kind of you're trying to get air off of the the bumps aren't you I I guess you kind of do I mean don't jump too high cuz you're kind of going back and forth but we were um we were going over it in the lift and we were watching these people just go left and right and just hopping up and bouncing and it's the the actual ground gets like etched and like this crisscross cross-hatching pattern from people just going left and right and left and right over these cra crazy [ __ ] bumps you're like man you not a lot of room for error there yeah if you don't know what you're doing and you you just jumped in like you did just a little too quick you're in the trees yeah what's safer SK uh skiing or snowboarding um what's easier to do I don't know can you go as fast on a snowboard as you can on skis I feel like you go faster on skis but I'm talking out my ass but you do go faster yeah you can go like 100 miles hour well not 100 on a snowb you go straight down like the downhill Alpine skiing the Olympics they go really fast miles hour they can't get that fast on a snowboard Aubrey's friends with that guy bod Miller who's Olympic gold medalist I watched him in the Olympics cuz uh they were uh you know the the Olympics was happening when Aubrey was over at my house we watched it uh while it was going live and that [ __ ] flies you know when you watching like Olympic gold medalist going down these things like the speed is just in
unfathomable like you got to think that at at some point in time like if if if you wipe out like he just wiped out recently almost severed his leg like he hit something and tore his almost tore the meat off of his leg in this acent like a pretty severe might might even be like a career ending injury like I think he hit a fence or something holy [ __ ] yeah [ __ ] or he just hit snow but it was that's as fast as he was going snow cut his leg off I think it's a I think he hit a fence my friend Steve was on the US ski team and he's had I would I I want to be conservative when I say this but I think I'm wrong I think I'm undershooting it he's had 28 knee surgeries he actually had his uh his knees resurfaced I'll show you a picture you want to freak out he doesn't have any cartilage on his knee anymore how old is he um Steve's in his 50s I've known him since I was a kid let me see if I can find this this image um it's gonna freak you out I'll pull it up here I don't know if I can what's that he's looking up at the screen oh yeah you're looking up at the screen hold on let me uh the record is actually 156 milph oh my God average speed 40 to 100 40 to 100 is average yeah see I never want to be going 156 miles an hour yeah you're smart dude okay look at this image I'm GNA pull this hold on I'll give it to you off my laptop that's my friend's knee look at that that's the inside of his knee he doesn't have yeah so put metal over the top of his knee this got to feel terrible when it gets cold he's a bad [ __ ] he would never complain about anything this guy's an animal he doesn't give a [ __ ] he's got fake meniscus you see that little white thing there that's an artificial piece of meniscus that is a pad in between the uh the ball and socket those the Caps of his knees uh where you know normally you have cartilage the cartilage is so worn away that he has these it looks like like they're Chrome like steel steel caps that cover over the the top of the bone and then you know it just sort of rolls steel to Steel that's a knee replacement he doesn't have that that no he just has his knee Reser CU knee replacement is like for people that have like uh their
ligaments destroyed my mom had knee replacement she had both knees done at the same time where they have to they chop your legs off basically and then they put robot knees in and then you basically can't walk for a months and good Lord yeah [ __ ] man and they give you a whole bunch of vikin and send you home yeah it's a the amazing thing is the hips they saw the top off they give you a fake hip they they like it's attached to like a screw that go like saw the top of your your femur off and this fake hip screws right in there and then you just start walking around like you you're walking around within like hours surgery yeah hip replacement mhm yeah had a guy that was uh yeah there's the hip there's the fake hip Trevor if you hear that sound that's Trevor sucking on his I did from the but look at that how they do it they they they literally saw the top of your bone off and put this fake thing in there this fake ball in socket that looks cool though oh look at it's from aspirin that's hilarious the picture that you pull up is from Aspen I mean how many people that are super rich blow their hips out from skiing all the time probably a lot or just get that done cosmetically to kind of be like be beautiful yeah kind of cyborg I want to have better hips but you see the top where it shows how deep it goes into the femur yeah the screw like up above that Jamie above and to the right you see that yeah right there like look at that that's what happens they they put that [ __ ] steel thing Graham Hancock had it and he came on the podcast six weeks later he was walking around like nothing like I I had no idea you know he he goes well I had my hip replace I said when he goes 6 weeks ago I go get the the [ __ ] out of here he was walking around like there was nothing wrong now how long I know with like with the knee stuff like it lasts like 20 years or something and so then you got to do it again like 20 years or so how long did it take her to recover where she could walk uh was a couple months I think wow CU she because she did both at once like you're most of the times you do one and then you and then you do another one later but she just did them both one she just said [ __ ] it let's just suffer once yeah she's like a school teacher so she was like I got
this summer open let me just get them both done out of the way and like God what what was wrong with her knees that she had to do that uh I think just the cartilage wore down like it wasn't an injury or anything it was just kind of wear and tear that's one of the reasons why I don't trust certain doctors because there's other ways to handle that first of all they're doing these stem cell injections now on in in people's knees or they're regenerating cartilage you know obviously that's not an option once they chop your [ __ ] legs off and put a fake knee in but doctors love doing that they love doing surgery you know I had a back injury and uh I talked to a doctor and he's like well I'm going fuse your discs you know there's no other way you know this and that we're going to chop it out now I'm fine like I I I sought out a bunch of alternative methods and I did this thing called regening this Blood spinning procedure that reduces inflammation do a lot of stretching and yoga and a lot of strengthening and it's fine now like I could have listened to this [ __ ] and I'd have my discs fused right now and what is I don't know what that means like what is that they cut the the soft part in between the bones like your spinal column is a series of Bones and in between those bones are discs which is like sort of like a tough bag of like jelly and um that bag of jelly a lot of times gets herniated where it pokes Out and because of trauma it will start sticking into the nerve and it causes pain that's where sciatic comes from you know that term like sciatica people goes oh I have a sciatic issue well you know what that really means that really means you have a bulging disc it means your bulging disc is poking into a very specific area of your spinal column a specific area of your nerves that affects where your uh your leg is and so it can cause atrophy in your leg which I've I've had friends that have had that issue um it can cause like some pretty severe lower back pain and leg pain it like through your butt down your hamstring all the way down like shooting down your leg um so what they want to do is cut that meat out that soft cushy part and then they drop it down and screw the bones together so now you have one part of your spine that just doesn't move so so you can't your doesn't
articulate the same way yeah now they've developed the same guy that invented uh uh well not the same guy the same in the same country rather in Germany they they're they're doing things in Europe that they're just not doing in America yet for whatever reason and one of the things they're doing is they're replacing the discs with artificial discs that articulate they move around much like your actual the actual stuff that's in between your bones do so instead of fusing it and having this one stiff rigid area which actually is can be really problematic because it puts pressure additional mechanical pressure on the above disc and the below disc so often times people wind up having multiple discs fused and you got like one stiff [ __ ] back and you're walking around like this and you're shorter like it it makes you shorter it makes you you have all sorts of problems like mechanical problems the way your because your body's like going what the [ __ ] is going why are we built different now yeah like how come I can't move my neck anymore why is it all but it's really common people get it done all the time they fuse the discs and you don't always have to you know there's there's other ways around it but a lot of doctors just want to start cutting you they just don't want to start doing I mean there's very ethical doctors and there's sometimes where they have to do it there's sometimes when you're like you know you're really [ __ ] up man we have to uh do surgery to open up your nerve pathway because your arms are atrophying which is really common with people that have neck injuries they're they'll have a one arm that like shrivels up like it's not getting any nerves the the nerves aren't firing anymore because they're being impinged by this compr this uh this disc this bulging disc scary scary [ __ ] yeah but doctors just want to [ __ ] cut you up man they they make money doing it yeah sure about that doctor that was arrested recently um he was arrested because he was lying to patients and telling them they had cancer and giving them chemotherapy for profit wow yeah that's uh [ __ ] man yeah intentionally misdiagnosing people and then giving them [ __ ] chemotherapy how do they catch him I don't know man someone got a
second a bunch of people got a second opinion and that kind of maybe right yeah like a what can what you don't have cancer you're not even fat that's got to be a weird turn when you're a doctor and you're just like you know you're like I'm going to be a bad doctor like you know because you can't I mean you have to know you're a bad doctor at that point you're like I'm a bad guy you know yeah some people have a way of dancing around reality you know there's a book called Dead Doctors Don't Lie this guy Dr Joel Wallock who's kind of a eccentric character and basically the premise of a lot of what his book is about is about um how few doctors really understand nutrition and they understand the the impact of nutrition on the body and mineral deficiencies that people have that you would treat in like livestock like in and in animals a lot of times when animals develop issues they change the diet and give them minerals and that uh they don't do that with people and he he found that particularly fascinating because I think he started out as a veterinarian and um one of the things he was talking about is how many doctors abuse drugs because they can get them like it's really easy for doctors to get drugs and you know he details like this one story of this guy who was in the middle of an operation and stepped away and shot cocaine into his body and had a [ __ ] heart attack and died so he was in like a storage room dead while the this person was cut open uh in the middle of surgery and they had to try to go look for him and they found him dead like but you would think that you know when you're a doctor you have access to you know prescriptions and you can get a hold of some medicine I'm sure it's probably more tightly regulated today than it was in years past yeah I mean I'd heard that about dentists I heard dentists uh um you know a lot well dentists have the highest rate of depression for any occupation um the highest amount of suicide for any occupation really yeah and a lot of people think that it's because um people hate going to the dentist like every it's kind of universal nobody wants to go to the dentist so they kind of put it off uh it's like the they only go when they have to like they're in pain so every single person that a dentist sees every
day of their professional life is people who are having the worst day of their year and they're dreading it so there's this energy of everyone coming in and being like I'm not happy to see you I'm I'm stressed out and that kind of wears on these dentists so they have the highest suicide rate and um and I've I've heard that because of that there's a lot of abuse of because they have the drugs too but there's less oversight than at a hospital like it's their own private practice so they just have all this stuff so there's a lot of abuse there that totally makes sense yeah I didn't I'm trying to find a dentist friend I've always felt that that that was the case with cops like cops all I mean cops have very high suicide rates as well I think a lot of is PTSD they're always seeing trauma see these you know but they're also dealing with people that don't want to see them like all the time most of the time when you you see a cop you're like oh this [ __ ] cop yeah the cops are here great you know so they just deal with that all the time yeah plus they have a gun on their belt so like you know that's it could be you know there got to be more in your mind if the gun is constantly there just stick it in your mouth yeah yeah I'm sure yeah I bet they're probably like number one for shooting themselves yeah you know it's easy it's right there yeah being a cop has got a s I don't think anybody's qualified to be a cop I really don't not for more than like an hour you know yeah have you ever done a ride along no no I haven't either that'd be fascinating though anyone can do it right it's pretty sure I feel like you can just call the police station and do it right along would be fascinating what what if you do that and the cops get killed and in the back seat in wat and you're like I'm just on a ride along I'm not a cop I am white and I'm so sorry for that I'm not interested it's like I I don't want to go to war either I want do a ride along in Afghanistan you I have a friend who just got back from that he's filming a documentary on Afghanistan and he was embedded with these troops for over a month and uh he came back Shell Shocked really yeah yeah he came back just whacked out and um that's from one month yeah well he was a little more than a month I want to say like maybe
six weeks but um he came back and he was talking about it he's his exper he's a hunter and he's like there's there's this really creepy similarity that I didn't didn't take into consideration that these guys are hunting people I mean that's really what they're doing I mean they're going after like certain you know quote unquote insurgents you know you give them some interesting names like insurgents like we never heard insurgents before this war when the [ __ ] did you ever hear did they say insurgents during they said the Viet Kong during Vietnam right you know they said uh the Nazis and the the Japs during World War II what now it's insurgence it's like this real way of making things sanitized but uh he said essentially like he realized like right away like whoa this is like hunting like these guys are they're not going after a deer so they could eat it they're going after after people and they're they knew their behavior patterns they knew how to set traps for them they knew where they would be and they knew how to sneak up on them yeah and they had like all these strategies like very similar to the way you would hunt a deer like okay this is the path a deer goes into we're going to do is get you know up wind of them so that or downwind of them so that the With the Wind comes to us they can't smell us and like all this crazy [ __ ] they were doing to try to avoid being seen and really similar to hunting an animal that's crazy yeah he was pretty [ __ ] up he came back he was a little little weird he had an idea in his head of what it was going to be you know he said well you know go over there do a documentary sort of like um he wanted to you know kind of show how difficult it was show the real side of War but you know sort of Honor these people that are over there he's got a kind of a simplistic way of looking at things too you know fighting for our freedom he's one of those guys that says [ __ ] you go okay what does that mean and then they just don't expand like it's just like fighting for our freedom EX are you sure exact exactly what they're doing like like people that are telling them to do that are they doing it because they want freedom or is there other alter motives have you looked into this at all he didn't you know just like very surface American Sniper but exactly and but when
he came back man he had a [ __ ] completely different idea about it he was really uh he had a very realistic portrayal of War when he came back it was a [ __ ] eyeopener like he was like this is a cluster [ __ ] yeah is a scary cluster [ __ ] and it's not good by any stretch of the imagination and there's no way to win this [ __ ] thing you're over in Afghanistan it's all mountains there's no towns there's Cabell that's one city everything else is Warlords that are trapped up in the mountains and get this the way they get the Warlords to tell on the Taliban they give them Viagra Viagra Viagra is the best huh you give them guns you give them money but they got guns they got some money yeah you know and they got opium everywhere so yeah Viagra is the one thing that's not local they need Viagra cuz a lot of these guys are like in their 60s and they got like 30 wives these [ __ ] are complaining man wow you know can't [ __ ] them once a day yeah once a month should be a Viagra commercial yeah red white and blue flying behind the Viagra it's keeping you safe it's one of the main ways they get these guys to rat on the Taliban that's crazy you even call it the Taliban anymore they call it Al-Qaeda they don't even talk about Al-Qaeda Isis now it's the same people they they offshoot they're they're a branch of al-Qaeda yeah is it like you know how Van Halen with David Le Roth was totally different than Van Halen with Sammi Hagar yeah is that what Isis was like it's like a totally different offshoot of the original band yeah we're getting the band back together it's isil now right isil isil yeah was Isis and now it's the Islam State I've heard that too yeah they started at Isis and they changed it to isil wasn't wasn't testing well it wasn't testing well they rebranded testing testing is adorable take a bunch of people when you're you're doing a television show you take a bunch of people that don't want to be there you they're getting paid and then you play a show for themas yeah it's usually is it really usually inas they go they go to Vegas and they'll um they'll you know in those like they'll grab people off the street and they'll be like would you like to see some TV shows that are about to come out and like you'll get like $20 off tji Fridays kind of thing like that
and people like well cuz they cuz Vegas is like where you get a cross of everyone from all across the country right so they find that you know you can kind of get people from Iowa you can get people from Florida in this one like City so you get like a good cross sheet of what people are going to think of a show that's hilarious that's hilarious Vegas that's a weird place to do it man and it's also like what who are these people like you can't just get a random group of people and ask them about a show especially if this show is specific you know like of a specific genre yeah you know you just get a bunch of rednecks and you play you know some sophisticated show for them like this is gay like yeah well it's people who are on vacation who have uh run out of things to do and they just do anything anyone's like like if if you're on vacation at Vegas or something and then somebody was like do you want to watch like five TV shows um that you've never heard of you'd be like no yeah I just think the idea of testing is ridiculous anyway way this is the way you test it put it on the air yeah you know let let creative people come up with it let the The Comedians or the writers or whoever you know what whatever kind of show it is let them come up with it put it together and go okay we like it let's let's put this thing on TV yeah and find out you know trust your instincts on [ __ ] you don't have to bring it to some well we brought it to a random group of people they'd like a wacky neighbor yeah how come there's no wacky neighbor man well like what Amazon does now is they just throw them up online yeah and they just see all right which one which's got the most you know which one do people watch more Amazon's got so much Goddamn money they can do that right yeah they've got drone money they're sending drones deliver going to do they're never going to do that I think that was like a publicity St it's never going to happen you don't think so no because like if they if if Amazon started sending drones there would be guys that had eight drones in their garage the the drones trying to get back to Amazon's headquarters like people are going to steal them they're going to like you know shoot them down take your packages too yeah like and there's power lines
how are they going to get you know well they could see where they're going people would steal them I'd steal one would you steal a drone yeah it'd be funny how rude an Amazon drone it's not hurting anyone a GPS on it they find it like find a phone they could find your iPhone you don't think they could find your [ __ ] GPS well I'd put it somewhere you put it somewhere no it wouldn't keep it in my house I I lived in a town um in Charlottesville I lived in Charlottesville Virginia when I grew up which is where Dave Matthews was from um and it was like when Dave Matthews was huge and so it was like a big thing in my town and like one thing that he did to like uh give back to the community that he wanted to do was he did this thing where he got a whole bunch of bicycles and he they painted them like orange and they put them all around town and they're like these are Dave Matthews is putting all these bikes around and uh they're free you can get one ride it to where you need to go leave it there and then you know you know it's just a community bicycle kind of thing and within like 2 months they were all gone like all months all gone and then for how many bikes it was like it was a lot it was like hundreds of bikes they're all gone and then and then for like years years like cuz I was like in like uh like it was like 1920 like you know kind of and you go to House parties and every house party you go to there' be one of the Dave Matthews bikes on the wall and they're like I got one of Dave's bikes you know you can only have what the people will let you have and that's why they won't have the Amazon drones because people are going to steal them that's funny yeah but that you wouldd have to really steal that's not something you could borrow Amazon's not going to let you borrow their drones no but it's got to come to your house right um drop off a package yeah but I think it just drops it off and then takes off I don't think it waits for you to release it you know I think it just drops it off and then that's it well you have your buddy order something then you go up on the roof with a baseball bat you wait for that [ __ ] imagine if you died cuz you trying to hit a [ __ ] drone you slipped and fell off your roof and broke your neck that would be a sad funeral
this stupid [ __ ] he died trying to hit a home run off a drone God I don't know what we're going to be doing in a few years but I have a feeling that within the next couple of decades it's not even going to involve uh things being delivered I think it's going to involve 3D printing yeah I think that's the big one like you have a subscription to like apple or something like that and then you you know you have their account and then they just make your iPod in your living room kind of thing yeah you know how like you order like a movie on iTunes you say hey I want to watch taken or whatever and you just click it and then it'll the movie will you start downloading and then you start watching it I think that's what it's going to be like I want a new pair of Converse Chucks right you know and then I wonder if they'll be able to 3D print cloth that's an interesting question H probably why not right yeah H I don't know because it's woven like this the whole idea of cloth is that well maybe like some sort of like um what are those ShamWow kind of claws they're not that comfortable but was it sham is that a shammy like a shammy is a skin of an animal like it's super absorbent skin of an animal but I'm sure they have synthetic I think that yeah I think that whatever sham wow was I don't think it was an animal what is that 3D printer for Fabrics well Jamie just [ __ ] answered our question crazy how does that [ __ ] work you know what's crazy is when look at this when the 3D printing like uh takes off is like you know what happened with like music and like uh the entertainment where all of a sudden people could like bit torrent everything you're going to have that happen to every single industry because all of a sudden you can you can bit torr an iPhone you canit that whole thing like you wouldn't download a car would you and you're like well if it was possible yes a lot of people would and you will be able to do it yeah that that argument for piracy I had Paul Stanley from Kiss in who's like really adamant that it's stealing it's stealing and I was like you know it's piracy I'm like making a copy is it yeah it's the original still there mhm like it's not really stealing you know but he's he's used to being rich he wants to
stay rich and he wants to keep making millions of dollars but he was talking about how the industry just disappeared and I was like well it's kind of but see my argument was like yeah but the radio always existed and you were you always had radio and you play the music on radio and that's what made the music famous and then people would go out and buy the CD and you'd make millions and then they would go out and tour and you'd make more Millions well now one part of that missing right the buying it is missing people don't really want to buy it anymore but they still want to tour they'll still buy T-shirts that's always where money came from anyway it's t-shirts like you know like these people tour and they you know I mean like back in like the old Sun Records days and everything they were on the road all the time you know putting out these singles and then making all their money touring it just got to go it'll go back to that well I think the record companies are [ __ ] way more than the artists yeah cuz that's why the record companies they're creating these like really [ __ ] like strange deals especially like with young artists they get talked into these really creepy deals where you know they get locked up for x amount of years and this they're really like just strange contracts like that established artists would never agree to and then you have to try to get out of them once you get to a certain point but they're just trying to figure out a way to lock down these artists and try to suck money out of them where I mean what do they have to offer these days they don't really have anything it used to be like you needed a record company to release your record and to get you on the radio but now the radio doesn't mean [ __ ] no everyone just wants to get in like a TV show or like in a commercial now I mean that's like the the payday yeah is just getting like your song played at the end of some MTV show or getting like your song played in the background of a commercial that's like the the new you know yeah or just getting it like okay like how about that Gangam Style guy like that guy's in a weird spot cuz everybody knows you ain't going to make more than one of those dude right you got that one song where no one knows what the [ __ ] you're singing yeah and people go oh it's kind of catchy and how
many of those can you make man and do people want to go see you live he's a big guy um in Korea yeah like he's a he's a big he was a big he was a a star before that over there and this was just I think went International but the the the size how big that song was he doesn't need to have another one think so I think he'll be able to Coast off that for a while you think how much money you think they make a Jam's like he's fine plus that mean that was on that was on so many commercials too and then like 10 years from now there'll be a Nostalgia for it it'll come back really oh like Rick Ashley yeah Rick Roll yeah yeah I don't know man I don't know you got to think that like for most artists that's not going to happen right maybe for him but for most artists you got a hit you got a few songs people are into and then you're hoping they could to come see you live that's like the big thing yeah but with Paul Stanley he was just saying that you used to be able to make a lot of money off the sales of the records and now it doesn't exist anymore because of illegal downloads but they must be making some money right off of like iTunes and [ __ ] yeah I think I mean I'm sure it's it was better yeah for for like the few people that like you know you know were in this Paul Stanley level you know kind of thing but I don't know the flip side of that is that there's a lot of smaller bands that can um you know get heard now like you know The Internet's been great for like small music I mean you have a platform like I guess I don't know I think it broke it broke up the Monopoly broke up that industry which is a really creepy industry go ahead dude it's all right I'm going back here he's got that robot dick he's goingon to suck can't help it have you watched that movie artifact about 30 Seconds to Mars and there uh what is record label battle it's a oh that's the Jared Leto thing is that how you say it Leo or letto Leto it's it's an insane movie talking exactly about what you're talking about a really famous band that went on tour sold out everything and they came back in the record label said they still ow a million dollars and they're like what the [ __ ] how how and they it's a whole threeyear battle and the documentary shows everything lawyer talks and wow
and me no one's talking about that documentary it's not like yeah it hasn't I mean they still ended up at the end of the the movie I don't want to spoil alert anything but like they're still making music right now this is a couple years ago the movie was made um did you ever see the the piece that Courtney Love wrote on the music business that sort of highlights how crazy it is like how much money goes to the record company versus how much goes to the artist but again that was before the internet kind of like took the legs out from under that business yeah Napster for Comics it's giant we never made any money off of uh CDs anyway I mean you make a little bit but the real money was always in doing clubs and doing theaters and stuff like that so the Internet is just awesome promotion for that like way better than anything else before way better than radio way better than putting out a CD there's nothing better than the internet I mean guys I mean that always blows my mind when I try to think about like what you know would you have a mailing list you know you know at the end of a show you put out a pad of paper and you know like write down you know I'll send out a mailing list every year let you know cuz I remember when I was a kid I'd go to um the record store and uh just check to see if the bands that I like had new albums out because there was no way to know like you know you would just go and sometimes you know you'd check multiple times a year and then you'd like oh there's a new there's no way to there's no yeah that's right yeah you know where they would have like a poster up like coming September 3rd the new you know Bon Joy did you hear you know and then the radio would have to tell you this information was really hard to get back then man it's hard to get anything you know you you got like I remember I was in the KISS Army you know you get like a kiss kiss fan thing in the mail when I was a kid and you'd get like this but they you know I don't even remember them saying tour dates just tell you about the band you know yeah you you got this like real superficial version of who they are it's just so much different now so much different you can't be like this mysterious hidden person that lives in a castle Marilyn Manson Style on the top
of the hill like you kind of like they know you now man if they don't know you they're not gonna it's just the whole animals different people are different like I think human beings I think we're so used to it it's hard for us to really conceptualize it's hard for us to really kind of appreciate how much different just interacting with human beings is today in 2015 it's opposed to like 1985 well I I was um we were shooting white as kids um when the iPhone came out and um we were in production you know and I remember like me and uh um my guy Zach from The Troop would direct everything so I remember directing you know we were like midseason and um and the day before the iPhone came out you know everyone would kind of be talking you know in between takes like everyone would be on set like you know Pas like you know like the costume Department everyone would kind of be like joking around and stuff like that and then the iPhone came out at midnight and like you know it was a huge thing everybody went in line a lot of people got got it and the next day everybody was just staring at the iPhone and it was this thing where I was like well it's crazy cuz I bought one too and I was like it's just crazy what this thing can do and it's everybody's fascinated with what this can do but we never went back it was it never went back I thought it was just going to be like a couple days where everyone's just you know staring at this thing and it was like that was the dividing point it changed after that and now you know just interacting interacting with people is just completely different well then the social media really took off cuz you took it everywhere with you it wasn't like well when I get home then I will check my social media I'll check my MySpace page or whatever no it wasn't that it was like you're on the road you're everywhere you go you're eating dinner you know you're in your car at stoplights you're looking at your your Twitter feed like you know you see people that are just glued to it they can't have a conversation I have some people that come on the podcast and they're we're in the middle of the conversations and then you start yeah yeah yeah totally yeah yeah they're not even listening they're not even paying attention at their [ __ ]
phone like they can't help it man they can't help it there's this weird like pull it just maybe there's some interesting in and most of the time there's not most of the time it's not it's like you're searching for a present like maybe there's one more Christmas present under that tree you just got to find that present but it's not there there's it's very rare that like your obsession pays off when you're like staring at social media it's very rare that it was like worth the the look we're just looking to see what your friends are doing or thinking but like you don't what your friends are doing or thinking like it's cool to call you you know hey man something [ __ ] crazy happened yeah but now it's like you're constantly looking for more data and I think the newness of it is like really attracted attractive to us in a way that we have a really hard time controlling you know or it's just the beginning of it's metamorphosis it's the beginning of evolution like to us becoming like a synthetic kind of non-carbon based you know silicone based based being kind of thing and you know then we put Nanobots in ourselves and you know it's just the first step of that you know evolving yeah I think so I think that's most definitely what it is there was a an article recently I think yesterday about this guy who's dying of cancer uh leukemia I believe and they're going he's going to be the first person that they inject Nanobots into wow yeah it's just [ __ ] it's it's begun these tiny little robots try like without it he's going to die so let's give it a shot yeah and I've heard that's supposed to be the norm within like 15 years what if this dude becomes Dr Manhattan just like awesome figures out everything starts glowing he's blue he see his dick everywhere he goes he doesn't care I think um I think human beings will definitely have some sort of a weird symbiotic relationship with computers in within the next like decade they'll they'll be implants that you'll be able to uh get data directly downloaded into your brain I mean I think it's it's only a matter of time before they do that well they're saying I think I I was reading something where they're saying the Nanobots thing is going to be common place within like 15 years where you know you inject them
into you and then it just constantly is doing readouts like oh your your platelets are low oh your white blood cells are low like and it's just telling like your doctor so you can you know keep up with everything KW believes within the next few decades you're going to have Nanobots that are going to allow you to hold your breath for over an hour they're going to give you these Nanobots that somehow or another do something with maybe artificial blood cells or something like where they can hold and carry oxygen through your system so well that you'll be able to take a deep breath jump to the bottom of the pool and sit there for an hour like a regular person that's [ __ ] dope it's [ __ ] crazy no more worrying about uh drowning for your a friend yeah that dummy just hold his breath hold your breath and walk back just get on the ground on the bottom of the ocean walk home there's that's awesome well there's already experiments where they've transmitted um words from one person to another person in their brain through the internet really yeah yeah they they transmitted a word from one per Jamie pull that up cuz it's kind of difficult to describe exactly what they did but somehow or another like say if you're thinking Christmas tree you know you you actually can send that word to me through the internet and somehow or another I receive it I'm not sure I understand it yeah is it is it is it visualized is it look at this science scientists transmit thoughts from one brain to another international team of scientists have succeeded in transmitting the thoughts of one individual into the brain of a second person located thousands of miles away combining some of the latest technological Marvels with the long arm of the internet is thought to be the first time the two brains have communicated with each other directly over long distance without the sender having to utter a single word two greetings Ola and Chow oh can't even do it in America how come you can't use English you [ __ ] qu made the historic trip from India to France where oh excuse me France where they were received and spoken by a researcher who was blindfolded and equipped with earplugs wow scientists want to ensure
that the receiver knew what his colleague 5,000 miles away was thinking because of the brain-to-brain transmission not because of some other cue that's amazing so somehow or another those two words were transmitted and they knew what those two words were thousands of miles I don't get it man yeah but sounds good right I like it if you told me 30 years ago that they were going to be able to send a video through the mail i' be like what are you even talking about or through the air on a phone yeah I be like what what's a video like you're going to be able to send a a video that you could you're watching it on what you're watching on TV wait a minute hold on so you're going to a TV show and it's going to be on what you going to hold on to something like in Star Trek they didn't even have [ __ ] if you look at those stupid phones that they had they didn't have buttons on them they would just like Kirk out like the the the spaceship had to know that they were calling Kirk but Kirk could call the spaceship and that's it he couldn't call his girlfriend he couldn't get to hey man you guys want to eat like there wasn't any of that going on like they didn't even think that would be possible but they thought that they'd be able to beam you to break your body down into like subatomic particles and reconstruct you on the surface of an alien planet like that makes sense but you got to walkie talkie or something you got to say Kirk out you know Kirk out you know you couldn't even couldn't even like see call ended on your phone like yeah we don't even have any idea what they're going to be able to figure out within the next few years like the concept of transmitting a word through the internet and US understanding what that word is to you and I that's like what are you talking about but 10 20 years from now they're going to be like of course you do that that's what you do like you just send words to each other oh it'd be terrible if like it ends up being like a Twitter thing where it's just like you know everybody's stupid like went to the mall is just constantly rattling around your brain do you think that Twitter's making people stupid no it's making some people stupid right I I think it's just I mean I don't think it makes people stupid I think it just like uh you know
it's just more distractions stuff like that well you know what is the weirdest thing to me there's some people that use Twitter and it seems like everything they're posting they're they're like manipulating what they think or what they're saying they're manipulating it in order to get a positive reaction from people like I almost feel like they're not really communicating they're like selling themselves you know they're like faking it I always feel that like when like a celebrity dies like and then everybody posts like oh my God this guy meant this to me or this to me this to me this to me this to me and like I get it you know but like it's it always it's it seems to be about themselves kind of in a weird way where it's like this is how much this affected my life and this or like any sort of issue that people like there's like a bandwagon of everybody jumping on like we got to find con you know we got to find con you know like that and it's just your entire timeline is just everybody talking about con I'm like you watched a video you know and that went away immediately because the guy jerked off in public that's it yeah that's all he had to do he's running around his underwear in San Diego beating off on the street losing his mine and they were like and this is meanwhile this was just the messenger the guy Coney was still a piece of [ __ ] still a bad guy in Africa murdering people and [ __ ] and everybody's like yeah but that guy was beating off I don't want to be a part of this well the weird thing the weird thing about the con thing for me was like when it cuz it came out of nowhere it was just everybody being like cone cone cone like you know and um and then you're like okay well that seems like an [ __ ] you know child Army never good you know um and then you look into it and you're like so what what are you do and they're like well we want to get the United States involved and send like troops over there and you're like whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hold on you know we've got a couple countries we're already doing that with do we need to be adding to the thing to get after one guy cuz he just fits on a bumper sticker yeah Cony 2012 and I'm pretty sure if we go over there we're not going to grab all those kids and put them in school I think we're going to probably you know
kill all of his kids you know that's kind of what we do when we go over going to shoot at us we're going to shoot back we're super sorry but we had to save those kids by shooting them yeah yeah the the Coney 2012 and the ice bucket challenge they they both had that thing in common where I felt like there was an insincerity to the message that people were sending out through social media like they were sending it out to get social media brownie points right they wanted everyone to know that they're super conscious and super Progressive and there's that that's one of the things that drives me nuts there's certain Twitter pages that I'll visit one of them recently blocked me cuz I mocked him on on the podcast hilarious by the the way dummy don't you know that all I have to do is log out and I can still see your Twitter page you [ __ ] it's public just type it into a browser I can read all your stupidity but this guy's entire Twitter page is like telling people how they should be living and telling people what's wrong with the way other people are living and what's wrong with with the way other people are thinking and what's so bad about certain social issues it's hilarious like don't you have sandwiches that you like isn't there like a movie you enjoyed did you have a great time to did you have a revelation today did you feel bad about something that maybe you thought did you have any is there any unique insight as to you as a human being or is your whole thing like just lessons to other people like everybody needs to learn and this is what's wrong with this and this is what's wrong with that and it's all like that those type of people are almost all either like extreme right-wing like like real like heavy duty Republicans like there's one dumbass that I go to he he's a young Earth Christian guy and you know it's everything in his entire timeline is anti-obama anti- liberal anti-gay yeah anti- dinosaur and then this other guy go to his extreme leftwing and everything that he does is like super Progressive super like really like uber leftwing Uber socially conscious to the point where I'm not buying it you sound you know you're you're not even a human like you're like a sounding board yeah you made activism your personality exactly that's a great way to put it you've made activism your
personality it's a great way to put it and it's not really activism it's just talking you're just yapping and bitching about [ __ ] yeah you know either bitching about [ __ ] or proclaiming the right way to be and it's always like you know Pro transgender Pro gay pro it's like I can I can guess like super easy what your position is going to be on anything it's going to be like super uber leftwing like down the pipe every time no Nuance no subtlety to it like you're going to subscribe to whatever the agenda is or subscribe to whatever the ideology you know fits there's a fetishization of um being outraged or being offended you know for a lot of like on on both sides of the of the thing where you've you know I mean there's genuine out Ag and there's genuine being offended at things that there should be you know you should be offended by but then there's some of these people that you see it just seems like well you're kind of reaching they're recreationally offended yeah yeah there they're looking for it there's a lot of reaching but there's also I think a lot of it is people just getting used to this new ability to communicate and they're finding that I think for some of these people some of these people are severely socially [ __ ] and they're finding that they can get love and support when they say things that other folks will agree with so then that's all they say they're all they're doing is like saying things they think other people agree with yeah and they'll just sound these things out and say them and it's like most of it is like duh you know like there's a lot of stuff like you know like we should be we should end sexual discrimination of course yeah like who the [ __ ] doesn't is that is you are you really going to end sexual discrimination by writing about it on Twitter if there was a vote yeah like it's going to be 99% of people that say Check Yes we should end sexual discrimination you know there's a recent study that showed that most people that work out and exercise he's backing up sucking on that robot dick hear it you hear it folks I got to get you one of these dude these don't make any sound bro you just got to [ __ ] cut your hands up while you carry it there all these sharp edges
that is the sharp edges on you know what you could use this for if you had a particularly tough cut of meat could roll this [ __ ] oh yeah all over the meat it would it would really soften it up nicely it's tenderizer yeah it's a meat tenderizer I mean it really is if you didn't have a meat tenderizer in your house you could absolutely use this giant hunk of copper it's [ __ ] weight um sound yeah but I think oh [ __ ] I put it on the wrong spot I I I put the I put it heads down heads up piece of [ __ ] thanks for it though whoever s it house fire with that oh yeah you just left it up overnight and then the whole copper heats up and just burns through your table you know what would happen it would make weird noises and then your cat would come over and your cat would touch it with his paw and then he would burst into flames and then he would jump on the couch freaking out trying to and the couch would go up and then your [ __ ] whole house is going to find it's a Ben Stiller movie it's just like what yeah it was more like an Adam Sandler movie no it'd be more Ben Stiller right maybe Will Farrell yeah I would say will farell yeah I think that the the internet and the ability to communicate it's so fresh that there's all these like archetype like stereotypical sort of characters that have come up like the right-wing guy like you know who's a great one to follow Chuck willery the guy from oh yeah two and two we'll be right back two and two oh that guy does his [ __ ] about Obama yeah all day it's all about the Dems he writes things like anybody you write the Dems you're an idiot yeah if you write the Dems or the libs you're [ __ ] okay yeah no B is great but he all he does is complain about Obama all day all day his [ __ ] entire Twitter feed is complaining about the Liberals you know meanwhile he's like living in Texas and bass fishing and whining and then doing commercials for like prostate pills does he do I mean I feel like a lot of those guys do like does he have a radio show I don't think he does does he is he auditioning for a radio show is that what the Twitter feed is a here here's his oh he has a [ __ ] save us save us Chuck is oh come on I did the I did his show back hold on a second look at this today on sa us Chuck get the [ __ ] out of here
that's his show that is so ridiculous the idea that you would call your show save us Chuck political satire from a Hollywood conservative oh my god oh it's political satire is that what it is you know it' be better if somebody like onion style made made a save us Chuck and just mocked it openly nothing ever gets saved from an old actor I mean don't even play any of it Jamie he's probably going to run for a congressman or something wherever he lives game show Legend Chuck wery considers why Democrats are willing to support boner why blah NASA and global warming when your government is in charge of your fund when the government is in charge of your funding you tow the company line just like all government funded science what does that mean does he mean he doesn't believe in global warming of course he don't that's an ideological thing the right-wing are reluctant to agree in climate change being something that's a product of human beings if you oh he is he running for president it says if you elect me president my press secretary would be oh my God is he serious oh I hope that happens and he write if you in gigantic capital letters electing president write them in that would be hilarious great I always felt like he would seemed like a nice guy when he was on that show I did his show I did The Dating Game the [ __ ] out when I was 18 years old no I was I came I was doing a I did stand up at the Laugh Factory when I was 18 and they had Scouts in the for the dating game in the audience and they were like I guess at that time they were doing two contestants and then the third contestant was always a comedian so they were going trying to find like kids that were doing standup and like basically you want to be on the dating game so I got to go do what was that like it was weird I mean it was it was actually really like um because of laws or whatever they had to make sure that everything is as it see as as they say so you're not allowed to see the other contest you're not allowed to see the girl right um uh so they have people following you around with walkie-talkies like you know make sure you don't look at her contestant number three is on the way to the bathroom you know make sure
that you know so there it's really like there was a lot of security wow that interesting what is did you meet Chuck did you hang with him talk to him about the Libs no I uh he I I met him when the show started and yeah that's it here's a perfect ticket Chuck willery Ted nent together at last come on I'd vote for it would you just to see what happens yeah I would like to I would vote for someone ridiculous like that if they got in office and see things go exactly the same way they've always gone like just like Obama yeah that's the kind of thing I would be really fascinated with like you know' be like I bet you know like really see like how much power the president actually has you know I would love to see what happens if you did social stuff though is dangerous the the the real danger with things like like when really hardcore Republicans get in is like things like gay rights uh abortion rights like things along those lines that is a real like like marijuana legalization the support of the DEA raiding medical marijuana that gets that's real that's real like they really do have an impact on social issues Supreme Court Justices mhm that's AIG that's a big one that's a big Power the president has but yeah choosing those right-wing [ __ ] who barely believe in evolution if they said you can vote for a starfish and a puppy and just see what happens I bet a lot of people would V just to see like we would go to war with Iran the next day starfish hates Iran the puppies with it who would be the president the starfish or the puppy yeah there the crazy thing is they're talking about Jeb Bush and Hillary Clinton that is to me insane cuz doesn't it feel like you know you're just like oh the whole thing's fake yes the whole thing oh I mean you kind of felt it the whole time but isn't this like this is the Smoking Gun like oh it's all rigged it's all it's all been a trick like how I mean Clinton for eight years old Bush for four and then young Bush for eight we got Obama like hey we got a new name and then what is Obama's wife going to run next I mean or the kids yeah well Hill you have Chelsea Clinton then you've got no but but they really do they've got another they've got a brand new Bush they down in Texas they
got a yeah Neil or something um he just ran for treasury or something and he won and he's and he's uh he's young and he's handsome and he's like they're they're saying like he's like the next in Q oh God Neil Bush no that's not Neil it's another one um he's fairly young look up like Texas Midland Texas um it's recent how many bushes are there Neil Bush and his family maybe it's not Neil it's um it's another George scary ass robots it's um yeah he's a Texas he just won election like uh this year or last year Chuck Woolery that's who I'm voting for godamn it Chuck save us Chuck we'll be right back in two and two he end all his [ __ ] press conferences like that oh God I wonder if he would be terrified if he won the presidency just being like Oh like I wonder if he would realize that he's not probably capable of being president or if you just not not get it at all just be like I should be president I think he probably thinks he should be president yeah yeah Ted nja thinks he should be president it's a narcissism thing just the idea that I should be in charge is all presidents are probably crazy I don't think anybody should be president I really don't think that it should be an option I think be a computer yeah I mean can't we'll probably get there in the next 20 years we have a computer we program in all of our laws you know and we were like okay now you know make the right choice yeah but it's programmed by people and people can influence the programming I mean that was one of the big deal deals with electronic voting machines right no we have that computer being built by a computer oh but then we're [ __ ] cuz the computer's just going to take over then it's like what Elon Musk is worried about George P bush see look at that that's going to be the next he's going to be presid lazy eye look at that left eye so did Kennedy somebody punched him K had a lazy eye I dated a girl had a lazy eye and I found lazy eye sexy for a short period of time she was kind of a freak she was a freak with a lazy eye I developed a lazy eye fetish for at least a year did [Laughter] you that's a yeah it's a very small uPorn search well why are glasses hot girls with glasses are are hot you know girls with crutches aren't hot like why
is some disabilities hot mhm you know a girl with glasses is something sexy about like it's like a library it's like a older Authority fig glasses are Authority o is that what it is someone who's reading so much their eyes go bad yeah look at that hot [ __ ] she can't even see plusy could take her glasses off your ugly she doesn't even know she could feel you though if you're fat and ugly she' be like damn she can feel me she can't see gr glasses and no hand hands you feel your weight on top of her though you know she wraps her legs around you like what is all this [ __ ] fat you slob like what are you talking about you don't have hands what are you being picky [Laughter] for fetishes are weird man I had a foot fetish too when I was a kid for a little while I got rid of it that's a popular one I don't get it I don't get that one but it's uh all you need is one girl when you're like 18 to play with your dick with her feet and then you got it you're good yep it's over all you need is one bad nanny growing up and you got a foot fetish yeah there was um I mean I used to talk about it in my ACT there was a magazine we found in the woods once when I was a kid it was called it was Foot Action magazine and uh it was me and these two friends of mine and uh my friend Josh and my friend um uh my friend Pedro and we're we're going over these uh these magazines like some dude left a magazine bag like a like a plastic bag under a log and when you're a kid and you're in the woods and you find magazines it's almost always porn yeah and so we're going through this magazine and it it was just like no one was talking cuz it was it was all like foot stuff you know it's like weird and then um like three minutes in my friend goes dude this [ __ ] is all just dicks and feet I'll never forget I'll never forget him saying that I never forget those words coming out of his mouth cuz we were totally quiet while we like we were confused cuz we were only like 11 yeah and he's like dude this [ __ ] is all just dicks and feet and articles there was no articles man was you know obviously again pre- internet you know any 11-year-old kid has probably seen hours
of hardcore ass porn at Point yeah I just think it's so crazy I mean there was a time where there just like you know guys would just go out into the woods with a foot magazine and just jerk off and leave it there like that's like the scariest person I can think of meanwhile there's probably someone listening to us right now with earbuds jerking off to a foot magazine just what it's not that weird hey how' you guys know man I mean you get enough numbers you know you get like a million people that listen to a podcast at once you know there's got to be one dude out there jerking off to a foot magazine if you looked at a there's a million yeah right that's one of the bigger fetishes isn't it probably it's a pretty big one yeah but like what what is what are their big fetishes like big girls some guys has like really big girls yeah um uh there's the all the kids that dress up like animals FES FES furries have you ever seen them have you been there alive I went I've never I mean I um we were playing a Festival in Atlanta and um it was the Furry Convention in town the same day and we were all in the same hotel room and we had driven we had driven from Florida we had just done a show in Florida and then we were sketched out by the hotel that was provided for us so we're like we're just going to [ __ ] drive to like Atlanta so we drove all night so we got into the um that hotel was so sketchy you drove all night it was it was there was blood we flipped the mattress over and there was blood on the bottom of it and uh flip it back no I mean we flipped it for a reason there [ __ ] on one side so we're like [ __ ] this for driving Atlanta so we drove like all night and then we get in and we're like T we're all almost like Delirious like tired so I'm like I I get into the hotel and then we're seeing all these furries everywhere and I was like what the [ __ ] is um and is there a mascot convention in town yeah yeah well the weird thing is like kids are coming up to him cuz the kids see like you know oh it's a mascot and they're like hugging them I'm like don't hug that costume um it's not goofy but I checked into my room and there was you know the whole the most of the hotel was red by furries and there was the loudest like sex going on like against the wall while I was trying to sleep and
all I wanted to do is like midday and I just wanted get like a couple hours of sleep before the show that night and it's just like loud sex and then these guys just getting in fights being like I would never I would never there repeating that again and again I would never like you know like and then just more sex kind of stuff and then it was uh that's my only encounter with FES I I I stumbled upon one as well uh in uh Pittsburgh I was in Pittsburgh and apparently that's one of the places where they have big they used to have a big one in San Diego but they moved it to Pittsburgh cuz Pittsburgh is more open-minded than San Diego that doesn't make any sense to me but this guy was telling me that he might be bullshitting me but apparently San Diego is like a pretty conservative town in a lot of ways cuz a lot of military down there MH well you put a Furry Convention in a military Community that's probably not probably I had never seen it in person and it was just total dumb luck that we were in town the exact same time and when we got to our hotel um the people that we're working there were estatic to talk to people that weren't furries and wanted to tell you all the things that furries were asking for oh wow and one of the crazy things they were asking for they want all their food in bowls they want to eat on the ground like a dog and uh they asked like room service they could deliver their food in bowls like milk they wanted milk in a bowl like a dog so they could drink out of it and they wanted a litter box in the hallway they asked for a litter box in the lobby they got to draw the line there like they were like what what the guy was like what and I said hold on the guy asked you you to put a litter box like a regular siiz litter box he goes no they wanted a large box they wanted to pay to have a large litter box installed in the lobby and his their thoughts were hey we have this whole hotel we bought out the whole hotel wasn't the whole hotel I was in the hotel too right but there was a few other people that weren't furries so you want a [ __ ] in the lobby they wanted a [ __ ] in the lobby or at least pee like they asked the guy I mean he could have been they could have been pulling the guy's leg but I guarantee you if the guy said yes someone would have [ __ ] in that
Lobby oh yeah somebody if they had like a big like sandbox like one one of the ones that kids play in fill with cat litter I I love [ __ ] die I love going to like different like uh groups message boards and just like hanging out on them like lurking on them and just reading them and it's like one of my favorite things to do at night and um I've been on like furry ones before and it's like they're like serious about that stuff it's insane it's like it's like and that is a is a very new thing mhm yeah something happened I don't know if it's Wi-Fi signals or cell phone service that but something something did something to people vaccines yeah Jenny McCarthy's right uh what if it's um there's the other thing these uh spirit animals like people like like I'm I'm a fox kin like I'm Fox is my spirit animal other other kins Planet kins there's girls who think that I do a song about it on the this new album um I do a song called bullies where the whole point of the song is like you know everyone's cracking down on these bullies but like okay fine bullies are bad but like if the bullies go away we're screwed like because people get to get out of control they're keeping you in line like you know when I was a kid I I uh you know um I you go away for the summer you know you don't see your friends so much like that and so I was really into Ninja Turtles and like uh and so then when it gets to be around like 13 or years old like I come back to school with all my Ninja Turtle toys you know thinking that everybody's going to like you know be still in the Ninja Turtles and then everybody just made fun of me like what are you doing with toys like and I was like okay good duy noted got rid of them and it was fine like you know cuz the bullies kept me in line they kind of told me like that's not cool anymore yeah they mock you yeah when I was a kid I was 11 and I moved from Florida to Boston and um I guess I was 11 12 I might have been 13 yeah about 13 and uh I guess I was in Middle School and I went to this I was in Jamaica plane which is kind of at the now it's become more gentrified but when I lived there it was pretty sketchy it was like late 70s early like maybe 1980 at the latest 1980 I think High School freshman year was 81 for me so I guess
it was like 1979 or 1980 and I had like an Incredible Hulk lunchbox and you know and when you're in a [ __ ] you know quote unquote Urban uh middle school and you show up with a [ __ ] cartoon lunchbox you get [ __ ] all over I I had that lunch box for one day I remember like I was so happy I got this lunch box I was like super psyched I love the Hulk and uh they [ __ ] looked at me like I was like a victim like I was like ready I was going to get attacked like I was a limping analou straying in front of the water hole back of the herd yeah I mean I was I was realized like I got to get rid of this thing I remember thinking to myself I got to leave it in a locker somewhere I got to take this lunch box and just leave it somewhere I can't even bring it home because like I'm in danger carrying around like carrying around like like it was a Target like none of the other kids had lunch boxes with like cartoon like there was no innocence at all it was non-existent it was like a dangerous creepy School environment and here I walking around with this [ __ ] lunchbox but if you didn't have that experience you could be dressing up like Hulk today being in a hotel room with like uh com yeah but is that bad I mean ComicCon I've never been I've been to San Diego while it was happening they look a they're having a good time you know yeah no I think there's a huge difference between the cosplayers in Comic-Con and furries what's the difference um I I don't I think that they uh you backtracking you know I me no I'll stick with it I'll stick with it okay let's explore this it's uh well I don't think uh I think the furry thing and I'm probably wrong but uh the the the you know quick take that I get away from it is that it seems to be a lot about sex you know like dressing up and having sex with other animals they defend that though yeah if you bring that up to F like FES contact me because we [ __ ] on them in the podcast because you know I've I've heard that as well and they say it's not about that yeah but that's what people say about anything people don't want to ever admit it's just about sex but weird and but on the other hand now I'm now I'm even like doubting I'm playing Devil's Advocate to myself even if it is about that and it's just a person who wants to dress up like
a animal and [ __ ] another guy dressed like an animal who gives a [ __ ] really I mean I mean I think it's weird but like you know it doesn't bother doesn't affect me at all it's voluntary yeah as long as things are voluntary who cares you could be weird and voluntary it's not it's not a bad thing to want to [ __ ] a mascot you know why is that awful but it's also not bad to think it's weird yeah it's not bad it's definitely not bad to think it's weird but there's a lot of weird [ __ ] that we just accept like what's up with like garter belts like why do people like like thigh high stockings and you know right elastic bands that connect your underwear to your stocking what the [ __ ] is all that about that's weird [ __ ] too yeah like why is that hot yeah yeah lingerie that I don't get it mhm so oh Jesus Christ this piece of [ __ ] I did it again I set this [ __ ] shitty thing down and it's hot as [ __ ] every time I do it we're going to burn the studio to the ground the Studio's going down but if you look at it like that it's like a like a like a lunar module or something yeah it looks like a miniature from like an old sci-fi film I've never seen one so stupid I've seen a bunch of these things I've never seen one this dumb or this it's like a Flash Gordon dildo I just can't understand why anybody would make it so hard to hold on to like the idea that it's so sharp edged and yeah how did that happen where did that come from what the the giant Vape thing how come they have the little ecigarettes and the little ecigarettes where it looked like a cigarette then it turned to like black ones like ooh it's it's murdered out you got a murdered cigarette it's all black blacked out and then it turned into these goddamn robot I think it's all battery life I think it's cuz the batteries and these things you know I think this will last like a day you know you can kind of hit it all day that's it yeah that only last a day that how many times a day do you hit that thing constantly and you were smoking how much uh it was a pack a day for a while and then I switched to this and um but I bet my nicotine level is through the roof I bet I bet I do I take in more nicotine now than I when I smoked a pack of day but nicotine is not necessarily what's dangerous right well it's not great for
you I mean it's it'll raise your blood pressure you know you still got yeah you still um it you still got problems with like heart attack stroke kind of things like that but as far as for yeah cuz it raises it's a stimulant so it raises your blood pressure we got to really Jack it up all day though to get that kind of response don't you yeah which I do I do like um but uh but like as far as carcinogens I think it's pretty in the clear as far as they know right now did you ever see that um Russell Crow he's backing up you hear it I'm trying to keep it quiet for the podcast no don't don't worry about it man what was that Russell Crow movie The Insider is that what it was yeah where he was a scientist that worked for the cigarette companies and was um he was testifying about all the different chemicals that they put yeah that's terrifying [ __ ] yeah the the number of chemicals they allowed the FDA allowed 599 plus chemicals that's I mean I remember I was just talking about this last week where there's um I remember when I was a kid you know you download like Anarchist Cookbook and all this stuff from like uh the internet and there was um a CIA handbook that you could download I don't know if it's real or not but um and one of the things that they told you how to do in there is they said there's enough chemicals in a pack of cigarettes to kill somebody uh you boil it down you distill it and you can make like a paste that You' put on like a door knob and then if somebody like touches it it'll kill them like it'll give them like same same type of deal with the um nicotine thing where it's an absorbent you that's so crazy that's so crazy it says here cigarette smoke contains 4,000 chemicals including 43 known cancer-causing compounds and 400 other toxins 43 out of 4,000 is not that bad though if you you know only 43 of them cause cancer but there is 599 ingredients so I don't know why there's 599 ingredients and 4,000 chemicals I don't know how that works but all those things were approved that's what's really crazy like they say yeah yeah put that in we're thinking about throwing from Malahide and oh yeah cool cool cool cool we're still golfing right yeah you're golfing I mean this through all these different chemicals
and what's really fascinating about it is the object or the the uh the purpose of all these chemicals is just to try to make you more addictive that's what it is that's where the flavor comes fromes I don't know cancer chemicals I mean they're just they add a bunch of [ __ ] according least to that movie that Russell Crow movie yeah just to try to get you more and more hooked yeah does a great job yeah it's really addictive imagine if you came out with a product today that did the damage the cigarette did and you tried to push it you know if you came out with some new thing yeah and it killed you [ __ ] half a million people a year like a vaporizer that gets super hot and burns down this isn't killing anybody man it's not mass produced do you think they're they're dangerous no I was just talking about the that one because it gets so hot yeah uh it I don't know I mean it takes a long time to find the stuff out doesn't it don't they have to do like 20e studies and things like before they kind of really know I mean as far as it it you know I read about it because I do it all I I I use the vaporizer so I like so you worry yeah a little bit like I look up whenever I see anything about it and it seems like they find where it's not it's it's not as good as not doing anything but it's a lot better than smoking you know it's not as good for you as not doing it but it's not as bad for you as smoking cigarettes yeah so for people that smoke cigarettes you got to kind of weigh your options like do you think you're going to be able to quit mhm and it if you can you should just quit on your own right but if you don't think you're going to be able to quit you can kind of do that and get your fix yeah is it as good uh no it's not as good but like I've been doing it for like seven years now and now I don't even like when I want nicotine I don't think about a cigarette like you think about that yeah was the last time you smoked a cigarette um an hour ago no uh I probably actually smoked one probably a month ago but like one at like a party one yeah you could do that yeah cuz I just I just this I mean I I smoke one cigarette Maybe three or four times a a year like really infrequently now Stephen King gives himself one cigarette when he finishes a
book oh wow that's why I write so many books probably that's his whole motivation but isn't that interesting like he he allows himself a cigarette when he finishes a book huh yeah it's a good help up your productivity there's a documentary that I'm in uh called the culture the culture High recent documentary by the same people that did this other documentary in called the union and it's all about um how the prison industry and the medical marijuana and marijuana has been demonized how many people are in jail because of it and just the percentage of people that are nonviolent drug offenders that are in there because of marijuana and how many how many people like the the literally drug war would dissolve if it wasn't for marijuana being illegal the amount of people that get arrested for other drugs pales in comparison but one of the things they talked about was cigarettes and they said that if you take if you smoke two packs of cig cigarettes that's the that's the breaking number where you are 4,000 times more likely to get cancer two two packs of cigarettes yeah in your life no no no no every day oh every day two packs a day oh oh oh oh 4,000 times more I might have made those numbers out by the way they sound good I listen to it on a plane I mean I watch it on a plane half awek that's crazy that's a lot of cigarettes though two packs a day not for Doug Stan hope that throws him down John Mel Camp does four does he really I heard that I read in like one of his some show about him he smokes like four but when ever you see him in an interview he's smoking and then he's like lighting the other one like when that one's going out like he's just going back to back those things all day I was in Indiana and at a UFC and John melan Camp was in the audience and they showed a picture of him you know they showed the video of him um you know in the crowd and showed it to the audience and they booed him really boo liberal they think he's and I and I had to ask go why don't they like John Milling Camp he's from indana I'm was born in a small town the whole deal nope he's a liberal he must have said something there must been something I wonder if he got outspoken on some sort of issue that like slavery something
like that hey doesn't even like that yeah I don't know what it was man but they booed the [ __ ] out of him and I was like that is crazy Jack and Dian yeah he likes uh um he's too liberal for for Indiana at least that crowd UFC crowd in Indiana they were mad at him I couldn't believe it I was like this goddamn John Millan Camp you [ __ ] commies I wonder if he had any idea of that before he went that's got to suck go to see like a UFC fight and then the entire like Place hates you yeah it was a large number of people booing them too it wasn't just like a couple of booze like scattered in the clapping and Applause know that's kind of a you tell your wife like you know what I don't think I need to see the rest of the fight let's just get in the car so Pretend We're going to the fire up the car let's get [ __ ] out of here before they Lynch us yeah there there's certain spots in the country you're not allowed to be liberal you mean you really are not you allowed to be kind of conservative anywhere you'll be mocked but it's not dangerous you know per se but if you're a liberal in certain parts of the country like you are that's the team mentality are you a Raiders fan you know there's like you know what I mean it's like that team mentality really comes out people love to defend defend their team and when you are a liberal you're thought to be weak you goddamn bleeding heart oh you're going to help all those welfare moms and all those you know they just take that money and they spending on [ __ ] drugs don't you know don't you know the um I like like I'm saying I hang out on these conspiracy sites like you know and a lot of them you know get you know a lot of them lean right you know a lot of conspiracy sites and uh almost all of them right yeah most of them um and uh and remember when Texas was talking about seceding or Rick Perry was talking about seceding from the union yeah that's hilarious when he was about to run for president which was a weird move um but he was like he's like you know we can succeed and so like everybody on the conspiracy boards uh that were from Texas there's this big thread where everybody's talking about it and um they're like and everybody was like first thing we're going to do is we're going to go to Austin and just
kick everybody's ass that's what he said yeah that's like like if we suceed we're going to get Austin this is broken sto working probably burned it all up that's hilarious juice on there I got to put more juice in it here cook how much burn dude a lot that's gross um yeah doesn't isn't Texas like uh it's a different sort of a state it's like it's the the way they're set up it's a the Republic of Texas yeah yeah because they um my history is right I think um during or leading up to the Civil War Texas wanted to be part of the union or it came that Texas could be part of the Union but then they wouldn't accept them because they thought uh they didn't want to swing the amount of pro-slave States um they didn't want to add another pro-slave state and like kind of they had like a equal you know amount of pro-slave and non-slave States so they didn't accept Texas's entrance into the Union so they made their own country and then after the Civil War when they asked Texas to come into the country they had this kind of um uh caveat you know which they're like okay but at any point if we want to leave we can leave if it gets shitty it's a prenup yeah basically Texas is like the only state that came into the country with a prenup and where they were like okay but we can leave at any time and so I think that's what RI Rick Perry was talking about is this the thing I got to unscrew this is so goofy there's so much involved in these [ __ ] things I can't believe you only suck on it like four or five times and it runs out of juice well you sat there cooking it for about 10 minutes probably no it wasn't that long the first time I caught it it was going for a minute yeah but is it does that cook in the stuff how come it doesn't come out then it wasn't but very little yeah all right so where does it go so you put it on that yeah that little coil this can't be good for you and you got to make that coil don't this is my first and last day oh cuz you have to build your own coils in these things what the [ __ ] I have a bunch of wire in my car what's WR wrong with you I just I love nicotine it really it it's the greatest drug all right I'm going to pour it in see this here ladies and gentlemen this is what you do yeah just a little bit I
think that's probably good this isn't even give me a buzz though I'd Rather Have a Cigar you ever see that there's a video oh [ __ ] spelled everything room watch out you're going have heart attack really no video of this guy hand rolling a Cuban cigar with a GoPro on his head it's pretty dope you get to see how they do it so there so much skill involved in that are those legal here now yes that's cool you're only allowed to have a few though do they sell them can you buy them in Los Angeles it's a good question but I think you're allowed to have a few now because we're kind of opening up MH the thing Jamie find that out there there's a number that you're allowed to have I'm I'm pretty sure I'd imagine you could buy them now there's a lot of counterfeit ones and apparently there's so much of a demand for Cuban cigars that the quality has diminished really for some of them yeah it's just they're just not worth as much as they used to to be they're just not as good rather as they used to be because the soil is getting depleted there's a lot of fake ones there's a lot of counterfeit Cuban cigars but it's another one of those things just like the [ __ ] Rich guys that want to go to Everest says you can bring in a $100 worth of alcohol or tobacco from Cuba but do they sell them do they sell them here in the states yet next I just did it again I put this [ __ ] stupid thing face up I might be [ __ ] I need to go to a doctor maybe that's what's happening this thing's making me stupid that's what they'll find out yeah I don't know man that's what happened to everybody well then why why Stephen King say it makes him smarter well he's just saying it makes him oh yeah made his brain work better maybe it makes him uh maybe it makes you more creative but not smarter well that's what Tony henchcliffe says Tony hinchliff says when he smokes and he writes just way better it's like his brain just is firing up well it's almost like you know all those well I guess everybody smoked so it's not really you know but like all those old writers you think about like Heming we just all smoking and drinking and all this stuff how about NASA when they were trying to uh do the moonlanding [ __ ] they were all
in the [ __ ] control room they were all puffing it's kind of crazy yeah they all had those weird like uh they're smoking in the spaceship it was just no I don't know wer smoking they're smoking on the moon there's like so many cigarette butts up there they put the flag as Aldren yeah there the uh control room though in in Houston when they were uh they were all like monitoring it like they were all smoking there's a bunch of guys smoking and they all looked like uh Peter Parker's boss from Spider-Man like those haircuts what's his name J Jonah Jameson yeah that's that's what everybody looked like that old school they all died when they were 50 cancer see you yeah that's it he got to a certain age there's no no Wise Old Men they didn't make it just smoke cigarettes die yeah a few hearty Souls lasted deep in their 60s and they talk like this oh they had those remember those things you'd see people have those things on their neck so they could talk to you like this yeah did they do that anymore is that a thing good question there's a commercial that they air from some some woman she was beautiful when she was younger and then she smoked a lot of cigarettes and got cancer and now her half her face is missing and she's got no throat she wears a wig and and uh yeah she has like the whole I really hate those commercials and she wears this thing on her neck I get the point of the commercials but they're so unpleasant which is the point you know but there was a hack thing the comedians used to do I don't know who invented it first I think it was probably Hicks who uh first started putting the microphone he put a microphone on his neck and started talking like this and then ly kind of ripped it off from Hicks and a bunch of other people started ripping it off from each other it became like well no one can tell you you can't do that and then yeah it was the hack thing to do and you know you did a thing about smoking stick the microphone on your neck to represent those thing remember they used to have a thing they used to have to put yeah it was like a fake voice box yeah it it was just it was something that vibrated right did it did what your vocal cords
would do yeah or yeah it somehow or another picked up on the sounds you were trying to make with your [ __ ] cancer ridden neck and now we'll just be able to send it through our mind because of that technology so that's the new and maybe your mind would work better if you're smoking nobody worry about throat cancer anymore you don't even need that [ __ ] thing yeah that's on our we're on our way to becoming aliens right aliens have those little tiny mouths cuz they didn't need them anymore giant stupid heads cuz all they're doing is like sending data with their heads they need a large hard drive up there well we'll probably end up just being computers MH where will upload us into like some sort of hard drive is cuz probably more complicated than that we're probably going to be some sort of artificial creation like an artificial body like not necessarily a computer but like you know everything about us artificial not like living well you know eventually probably a virtual thing we'll probably realize like why we so hung up on bodies yeah you know just like maybe they'll just be it'll probably just be like a computer that has versions of us just kind of out of well it's good to know where you came from you know computers paying respect like let's keep you know a lot of them virtually inside of us and then the computers will go out and explore the Galaxy and kind of yeah you know and we'll just be kind of an interesting footnote you know that they kind of pay respect too what the [ __ ] yeah we'll be like when you go to the zoo and you see those like fake cave people you know they're like statues of the fake people by the cave with like this is where we came from you know they were kind of not as smart as we are and that's what we'll be to the computers we'll have people these are these are early men they'll have people that are just bent over looking at their phone and that's this that's what it and they're like that's baby us that's them with baby us yeah instead of like having a club those big caveman Flintstone style clubs with the the the fur on like like you know 2001 Space Odyssey looking people instead of that they just have a dude with an iPhone like at Starbucks tweeting about how great the Jinx was and then they'll have Google Glasses this was the first
step mhm they'll have Google Glass and then the have you seen the um virtual reality ski goggles um where you see the whole world in front of you becomes a desktop and you start manipulating things in front of you spin yeah they it's like Minority Report but it's it's all you're you're wearing goggles and through these goggles you could see like I could see you but I also could like pull up things in front of you augmented reality that's what they call them yeah yes augmented reality augmented reality and then Oculus Rift yeah that's gonna be huge that's scary that comes out like this year right um I don't know I mean there's versions of it now like Duncan Duncan Trussell has um uh he has an older version but he just tried the newest version and he called me up scre screaming and ranting and raving like this is like apparently it's in 4k so it's just insanely graphic like like insanely high definition Beautiful video and the way they film it they put cameras all over your body like these little small cameras like everywhere you're moving that that option is available so if you move to the right you could they've already got video of that you move to the left and the processing speed of computers today is apparently good enough to keep up with this yeah and you're you go into a room and when you go into this room there's a guy playing the piano and he goes you really feel like you're in a room with a guy playing the piano it's that good that's crazy you know I was I was reading something about this company that's that's trying to start up where what they're going to do is um take these because I think it's like a it's like a spherical camera that is basically recording in all directions at once but they want to go to like Everest they want to go to the pyramids and they want to plant one of these things and you pay like a monthly service and then you're just sitting in your home you're like I want to see what it's like at the p right now and you put this on and you're there they're going to put one on a satellite in low orbit going around the planet so you can just be like floating in space over like anywhere you want and then the they're saying that like what's really going to be crazy
about it is how it's going to change news because like CNN will have their camera like you know uh Fox News will have their camera so like you know something happens in Ferguson you know they go down there and they plant their camera there and then you can just every all their viewers can just go and actually be at like the where the news is happening and you can kind of look around and see for yourself you can watch the state of the union with you know the camera there and you see what your specific state senator is doing wow you can see John McCain playing poker on his phone talking about going to war with Syria yeah remember when that was going on he was advocating going to war with Syria and he was playing [ __ ] po Angry Birds they caught him doing it too man he's still working there like like that should be something you should be paying attention to man maybe we should get somebody in there who's paying attention not playing poker on their [ __ ] phone dude Christ how trivial is war to you Rel it's less important than Farmville oh he can't help it he can't help it it's like someone's sitting there talking to you at dinner they have to check their phone yeah and the call of kings and queens and Aces just pull him in yeah how old is he a thousand cuz people were like he when he was running for president people were like he's going to die like in the next year or two and that was eight years ago now well he's unhealthy too I mean it's not like he's just old and he exercises a lot and you know he's not Jack Mala I mean he's he was really [ __ ] up because of being a prisoner of war I mean he was tortured his shoulders are [ __ ] up like really Beyond repair that's the thing like he can't raise his hands he can't like raise his arms over his head and he's not like physically well but he makes sense sometimes which is weird you know he's not off about everything like he starts talking like one of the things about when he and Obama were debating um he was they were talking about going into Afghanistan and uh you know Obama was like you know we'll just go in we'll send troops we take care of the bad guys and uh McCain was like d what wait wait a minute man
that's when McCain made sense CU like this is a guy who was in war you know like was a prisoner of [ __ ] war was tortured held by the vied Kong and he was like it is not that easy man like you do you know what it's like over there one of the things that he said that really [ __ ] stunned me and I I had a research it and it turns out it's totally true he said most of Afghanistan operates essentially exactly the way it did when Alexander the Great was around H yeah he's like you're talking about a country that's never been conquered yeah like you the terrain itself makes it just almost impenetrable like you're going to send troops into the mountains and the crazy the whole it was like our plan to bankrupt the Russians was to get them involved over there yeah with the same people that we're fighting now so it's like we we like set this great trap and then walked like you know just forgot about it and then walked it's like the kid from Home Alone uh went home one day and forgot all the stuff that he had set for the burglars well it's almost like they set a trap and then didn't realize that a trap had heroin in it like oh wait a minute um this isn't a CH we left all that great heroin there forget what I said forget what I said let's let's try one more time but do it right and grow heroin okay this is going to cost us so much money not really it's actually just a lot of money there just sitting around CIA can move it it'll all be fine the beautiful thing they found recently they they they said they found recently that there's trillions of dollars worth of minerals in the mountains lithium stuff they use to make batteries yeah to blow on this thing now it makes noise it's full I think I broke it is it full it's full you you had to do it CU you saw me do it he you get that pull monkey see monkey do it's exciting it's like Pavlov's dog you ring that Bell this is not going to be a regular thing folks if you're listen to this podcast he got he asked me if he could do his and I said all right yeah do it man and then I'm just [ __ ] doing it too I have bottles of this [ __ ] L what if I drank that how quick would I die probably pretty quick you think I think within yeah like the whole bottle mhm uh $10 says that you die
within if you poured that into someone's drink like you know people always talking about like pouring roofies in someone's drink what if you pour this into like someone had like a jagger bomb yeah yeah you just have a heart attack you just probably have a heart attack within a couple hours God yeah right the stimulant it's crazy this guy sent me [ __ ] heart attack juice I got it on my fingers is that bad I don't think I don't think what you dude you had gloves on man yeah but that was back in 2007 I'm sure they've changed the formula I'm sure this random guy this guy's cool I don't even know what his face looks like how dare I the whole thing is ridiculous man what's the next thing you know well they vaporized alcohol now have you seen that if you look it up on YouTube it's crazy yeah it's this um it's like this little kit you can buy and you like heat it up and you put like alcohol in it and then people are just taking these Vapor hits of alcohol that's crazy and then they just uh the FDA just legalized powdered alcohol this week um so now you can like snort vodka what yeah they approved it that can't be good but it sounds but you know it sounds worth trying would you try it oh yeah how would you know how much it take no just guess like you know you one of the good things about alcohol is it's super powerful but you kind of know what a shot at teila is Right shot of tequila is pretty uniform MH you know that's why like whiskey is okay but moonshine's illegal right okay yeah I guess I never thought about it but yeah you're right there's some there's some sort of well isn't moonshine just illegal because it's unregulated you know and they don't know how what the percentage is that you're putting in there like ever clear that stuff's legal right yeah in some states some states not some states it's not yeah states have weird laws on booze like Utah's got weird laws on booze like your beer can't even be that strong yeah cuz Mormons yeah [ __ ] Mormons I was there recently and uh it was hilarious when we landed we were coming down the escalator and there was all these people that were waiting there for the missionaries to return the elders who are in like foreign countries convincing these poor people to sign up and become Mormons not drink caffeine it's so [ __ ] up man so we're coming down the
LA no you can drink caffeine I really you just can't drink coffee it's a loophole you can't drink can't drink coffee but you can drink caffeine so my friend who was a Mormon used to drink Monster energy drinks all day oh wow and I was like wait a minute you're not allowed to drink coffee but you can drink that he's like yeah it's not covered it's not covered by Jesus Jesus doesn't say anything about [ __ ] Zion energy drinks he's cool with toine what is torine is that bad for you probably that's the [ __ ] that's in Red Bull right this [ __ ] dude I'm and I'm not telling I'm not lying he I never saw him it was like he was his his arm was connected to his can of [ __ ] Monster Energy Drink he would drink that [ __ ] all day long yeah everyone's got have something if if that's the only thing you can have then you're going to be addicted to that well before he was a Mormon he was uh he had some issues with some substances and then his wife got him to convert over and then he just went with the program but uh he he liked his caffeine so became a monsterous energy drink out of a guy but a lot of those dudes that are like AA guys cigarettes and coffee mhm yeah they're not drug- free by any goddamn stretch of the imagination they're just not taking anything that just obliterates your Consciousness right they're just altering it on a consistent basis yeah yeah or something that's a little easier on your liver yeah it's definitely easy well the the cigarettes aren't cigarettes bad for your liver I didn't know that it's bad for everything your whole body's like what do we do with this [ __ ] it's in your bloodstream your pancreas apparently pancreatic cancer is a big one with cigarette smokers the lungs of course but there you know it's it stunts so many different processes in your body there's so many different things that are just going what is all this [ __ ] people should just do nitrous all day every day that's the C yeah just do whipits man there's something about doing whipits if you commit to like whippits and huffing paint are kind of in the same category like wait wait what are you doing you're taking some stuff that you're not supposed to get high with and you using it to get high that's not cool
[Laughter] but meanwhile whippits do whippits [ __ ] you up more than a glass of Jack Daniels whippits are amazing they're like I went through a phase where I was doing a lot of Whi itss and oh God and it was uh you know I mean you have to had to stop because it was just like this is I I enjoy this does it give you brain damage well everything gives you brain damage doesn't it I mean you lose like 200 or 20,000 brain cells a day just from you know waking up you know kind of walking around like so I mean I think it's you know how many do you have uh it's like a thousand do you get new ones no you don't I don't think you get new ones ever no [ __ ] I think it's I think you're you have what you have I think you get new ones if you do mushrooms it's the only way that makes sense probably really for real yeah it's like one of the few things that have been shown to like regenerate neurons in the brain or something like that so just do as much mushrooms as you are doing nitrous and you'd be fine it's nice maybe you probably have to live in a mountain somewhere you probably get so detached from everybody show yourself for when you get in firewood and go back to your cabin I was uh I was doing a a sketch like a music video for um it was this country music song called you know it was about like blue laws in States like you know and if they won't tell you alcohol you know the song is called what about mouthwash and it was like you know all these different things like what about mouthwash what about huff and paint and all these things that you could you could do and uh for the music video I was like oh [ __ ] it we'll just you know um we're in the truck uh got some paint and uh spray paint and a bag and my friend had like mouthwash and so we just like did it for the shot and I I just you know cuz the shot was on so I just sprayed the spray paint in the bag and then I just huffed in and it's so fast it's so immediate and it's so high like what does it do to you it's like we I did it and I was like and then I like kind of broke take I was like whoa like you I was like this really works like huffing paint is like the real deal oh that's so funny it's quick that's so funny yeah oh have you ever talked to someone who works in an auto body shop like spray painting cars no
you know they wear those masks and [ __ ] but it doesn't really work I mean it works a little bit but if you're spray painting a car you go into those Booth those guys get high as [ __ ] that's like the hidden secret of auto body work it's such a dirty high too I would imagine what is the paint high this huffing it doesn't feel like um like it's good for you like you're drinking kale shakes no you're you're like lightheaded and you're like wo I'm high and you're like this is going to feel bad when this wears off oh God that's so crazy wow do you everybody's seen those images of the guy who got arrested several times and he has paint [ __ ] goatee of silver paint all over his face like [ __ ] man that's so weird you ever see that um I forget what show it was it was one of those um I don't know if it was a rehab show or something intervention show where the girls addicted to duster the dust stuff that you spray on your keybard spr your keyboard the air what does that do to you guess it gets you high I don't know I've never done it um but like she was going through like she just and they would follow her to Walmart and she'd go to Walmart fill up her cart with duster and like she does this every day just goes to and just does duster all day you know the problem with that show is I have been I've been exposed too much to how television works and I just part of me is calling [ __ ] part of me saying like yeah this person is so together that they've contacted the producers of the show they're on the show they're walking around the camera's following them really you sure or are you sure they're not engineering this whole thing but do they call or do their families call that's a good question I just don't get why I mean like if I had a loved one who was like um you know like had a problem you know and I was like all right I got to do an intervention like the last thing I would think of is like and I got to get a TV show to watch this thing like you know you say that but I mean what the [ __ ] did Dr Drew do for all those years when he was doing celebrity rehab he took these people at their most vulnerable time and publicly shamed them showed them on television having the DTs freaking out each other screaming at each other incredibly vulnerable and
expose them to the world for other people's amusement and he's a doctor an addiction specialist so I he not cut and dry when TV's involved and profits involved people have weird ways of rationalizing things this is the only way these people will get help is if you do it on TV no but I mean like the family I mean do you think the family do they I guess they have to get paid something to do it they have to get paid something yeah and it's not like a windfall the family might be morons you know they might think it's the way to do it well it's very I mean there there was a show that I was obsessed with for a long time called I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant have you ever seen that show have you seen it no it's [ __ ] amazing uh find it on like iTunes or whatever uh but it's it's a show where they would um it's about people who just didn't realize that they pregnant and they have their babies in the toilet or you know or just walking to work or something and um they would reenact it like it was kind of like unsolved mystery style where they'd interview the real people and then they'd have actors like playing it out like oh my stomach hurts I'm going to go take a [ __ ] and then the baby they put they' throw the crazy thing about the show is that uh I watched one episode where they had the mom get up you know and then the camera goes into the toilet and they put a real baby in a toilet like a real like for the shot what the [ __ ] put the water yeah they put a baby in the toilet bowl for the shot I was like oh my god did it have a diaper on or was it naked uh it was the angle you couldn't see I don't know kids holding on to the seat going what the [ __ ] mom but uh but I I knew a girl who worked on the show and I was my fan out she worked on it I was like how do you why do people you know agree to do because they all look like idiots there's no way you can be on that show and not look like one of the dumbest people on you know if you didn't know you were pregnant like um so I like why do they agree to let you do this episode about him and she was like we are getting calls all day from people wanting to be on the show like we have to you know we're batting them off because it's people seeing the idea of somebody playing them on television is so enticing to people that the fact that
someone is going to reenact their life is like worth it yeah I'll be I'll look like an idiot on television that's so crazy the that's the pull having someone play you wow that's amazing there was a girl that um worked at the bank that I used to go to when I was a kid and she had her baby and threw it in the garbage and went back to work she worked at a bank um no one knew she was pregnant she was overweight went to the bathroom had the baby threw in the garbage and uh went back to work and then they they figured out what the [ __ ] happened and arrested her that's crazy oh it was so crazy was like I'd seen her eye to eye person to person I probably shook hands with her I mean I don't remember like on the 17 no not on the day I don't think I think I found out about it like you know after the fact but it was like the Talk of the Town yeah like I don't even remember her name but you know I was like I think I was probably 16 or I was working at Newport creary which was a ice cream and uh hamburger joint in Newton Massachusetts so it's probably I think I got that job when I was 16 so it's probably when I was 16 that all this happened but it was just the whole town was talking about it I was like what she had a baby she was pregnant what and the she put in the garbage like it was CRA she went to jail and whole thing was [ __ ] really creep people it's creeps you out when you find out that that Insanity like that was there the whole time and you were interacting with Insanity like hello insane person Hi crazy you're about to have a baby and throw it in the trash aren't you yeah you know like if you talked to her the week before you going to throw your baby in the trash is that what's going to happen yeah what who are you how do you know she might not have even known she was pregnant too she might have been one of those people oh a lot of the people who um most of the people on the show who didn't know they were pregnant are overweight of course yeah yeah just they must be in such discomfort all the the time yeah oh [ __ ] man I I just don't understand how you can't yeah how can you there's like there's certain levels of Madness it's like there's a scale you know like you could be like a little crazy well I got this thing I have to wear different color socks you know I have this thing
you know I only wear my underwear backwards you know I have this thing I like to be a mascot I like to [ __ ] other mascots and we get together like you you can always get further and further down the crazy hle I have this saying I don't think I'm pregnant but if I ever am I'm definitely thr get a dumpster well there was a bumper sticker once I saw on a car like a cop car that was like telling people they didn't have to throw their baby away and they could bring their baby to a fire department and drop the baby off or a police station I was like wait a minute wait who the [ __ ] is like I'm on my way to the dumpster with my ba oh look at that bumper sticker oh I could just go to fire department I have options look at that what what a great what a great service the public is offering I've seen fire department things with a baby drop like God like window I mean it's not like a it's not like a blockbuster you know but I mean it's like you know it just says I've seen the sign that says like this is where you can leave an unwanted baby so it must happen frequently enough that it's an regular thing that like people are like you know you know okay fire departments are places that we can we can do this [ __ ] man that's I just it's more evidence that we there's groups of people when you get to like when you have a city you know you have a million people 5 million people or 10 million people whatever it is that when you get groups of people that aren't really interacting with their neighbors don't really have real communities they're not they're not in real tribes they're just sort of independent and wandering around there's like Madness all around us then which is like unrecognized unchecked Madness ignored Madness you know it's all around us we just don't you know you don't have you don't deal with it like if we there was only 50 of us and we lived in the jungle together you would know that [ __ ] is pregnant damn yeah you know first of all she wouldn't be fat because she would have to like gather food and everybody's thin it's a law it's a law how to drop off an unwanted baby with easy pictures what wow Safe Haven law Safe Haven law you must drop them off at a police department fire station or any hospital if a parent were to change their mind they have 30 days after
dropping off their infant to get their baby back from the state you have 30 days that makes me so sad that's crazy imagine like on the 29th day the 24th hour you come in I just want my baby back sorry you just missed the cut off yeah it just uh it's 30 days right now like tick tock tick hold on I got the baby you shouldn't give the baby back after one day like you know if if if you went to through the idea if you're like you know what maybe I'm going to drop this baby off at the fire department so you probably should drop the baby off at the fire department so depressing it's so depressing imagine being that poor [ __ ] kid and you find out that you're mom Dro you up at the fire department it's probably better maybe yeah who knows but then the [ __ ] up thing is that all the babies have to become firefighters it's part of a that's where that's where firefighters come from they've all been Dr I think they come from stor I could be wrong but I think all firefighters are dropped off babies that grow up [ __ ] man you have to live in the firehouse yeah where's my toys I don't want an axe you got the cool Pole got the Dalmation it's pretty good it's great if you're a stripper you get early training [ __ ] man godamn what a weird world we live in huh there's too many of us that's that's the only or too many of us I shouldn't say too many of us cuz the cool thing about cities the cool thing about large Urban centers is you get a high concentration of intelligence too high concentration of cool people high concentration of like things happening and things moving in progress but there's too many of us that aren't in contact with each other you know yeah well it's a weird didn't like the population of the entire world stayed somewhere around 1 billion uh for as long as we can like kind of for a long time like you know hundreds hundreds hundreds maybe thousands of years and then like once we invented um uh basically once we uh figured out how to use uh fossil fuels yeah and like Plastics and things it kind of it shot up to like 7 billion within like a 100 years um like you have more of a chance I mean there's more people now than there's ever been by like a huge long shot
huge yeah there was a thing that I was listening to the other day that was talking about the population of the United States during World War II and it was n the the 1940s it was 150 million people or less really yeah now it's more than 300 it's like 350 350 that's [ __ ] crazy and then then the world population's much larger than that the world population was at the time I think only like two billion and now it's at seven yeah which is like stunning yeah just astronomical increase in human beings was that like 1 billion around like 1900 or something so it's like yeah whole world yeah and so it's like doubled it doubled in like 40 years and now it's it's crazy yeah a lot of people and that's what makes you wonder that's but that's the other thing about that points to urbanization and um to Improvement of the quality of life is that apparently when the quality of life improves and there's more resources people have less kids and the and also when the quality of life improves and resources improve um the the people How does it go people have less kids because their careers are become more important and they become more more concerned with progress and with their career than they do with having a family so they have families later and later it's one of the things they also attribute to the high the increase in autism I think uh there's a contributing factor apparently like several times several fold is when you have um children after a certain age like ESP men right men and women both isn't don't they think that it's linked to the male side that too that but women as well yeah women as they get older like birth defects the increasing birth defect issues they didn't think it was men at all for a while but now they do now used to think it was just the age of the woman but now they think it's the age of the men as well the age of the sperm that's like going through the roof too it's like something like one in 25 now or something like that autism yeah I think they also think that that's also because they yeah they didn't really know what was wrong with Billy and now they've given it a name oh he's got autism or he's got he's on the Spectrum he's got you know he's got a spectrum disorder he's got Aspergers and just [ __ ] well whatever dude what a what a
great way to end this podcast started out on AIDS ended up on autism dropping off babies at the hospital um you're special dude uh it was uh this past Friday but it's uh available what's it called uh high in church did you ever get high in church uh actually I was I went to like a um a Christian school and stuff so I was like I never actually got high in church my there's a story about something happened to my friend that I wrote the song about um but like I've been high at like church basketball games and things like that it's always just it's it's not it's always you went to you grew up Christian yeah my parents were Christian rock singers in the'80s what like Striker striper no they were like folk folk kind of folk and then it became rock kind of thing but that's I grew up on a tour bus traveling around the country what yeah oh my God that's amazing yeah holy [ __ ] D so yeah went to really really conservative high school and you know stuff wow that's weird how did you break free um I don't know like think it's it's when when something is around a lot you know you're kind of just you know as a kid growing up you're kind of just like okay does everything have to be about you know church that kind of thing like that so you're just sort of you know so then like when I was in school it was always me and like two or three of the other quote unquote bad kids that would be at the back of the class just like not taking things seriously and kind of making fun of everybody kind of thing so it just God it was just kind of like that you know praise God praise God for people like you yeah but that that that often happens right I mean Cara Santa Maria who's a friend of mine who's a uh she's a a beautiful intelligent neuroscientist who grew up with a strict religious household now she's a devout atheist and you know her parents don't like her of that upset at her because she's an atheist and yeah has metal in her face lipping and [ __ ] but that's often times the case right your parents are pushing a certain direction and you rebound and go crazy yeah well I mean the other bad I mean the other the kids that I would hang out with were like other pastors kids you know they were the kids in the back that weren't like taking things seriously yeah they get tired of their parents
telling them what to do if you restrict your kids too much it's like what I was saying about uh my daughter with the soccer [ __ ] like don't make him do anything man four don't make them do things you know you want your kid to not play piano force them to play piano [ __ ] yeah right yeah I mean sometimes it works but God the the amount of resentment that children have from from really like overbearing parents when I was a kid I dated this girl that went to Catholic school and her parents are like super strict Catholics and she was the biggest Hoag because of that because of that like that girl probably [ __ ] everyone who asked her yeah like or everyone who wanted to take that Daddy up until the time she was probably like 30 she's went on a rampage like I there was like a long list of people that I knew that [ __ ] her it was crazy at a certain point in time when we were like by the time we were like 19 or 20 like I dated her when I I guess we were like 16 and by the time we were like 19 20 I knew like a dozen dudes that have [ __ ] her it was just chaos cha girls just [ __ ] everybody and she was really pretty too so like everybody wanted to [ __ ] her so was just like she was just just all that supression like her parents were so overbearing just so constantly drilling Jesus into her head and the Catholic guilt and she just couldn't wait to just finger herself and just start sucking D just run around and you know she would get so drunk that she would just throw up and pass out and she was out of [ __ ] control and a lot of it was just her parents they just they just they just wound that spring up so tight yeah shot to the [ __ ] moon it's weird how that works right were your parents overbearing about it um not I mean it wasn't no it was I mean it was strict but it was a like also not strict in weird ways like you know they like I I couldn't watch most stuff on television like what what was forbidden like Duke's a hazard uh no like like anything that had like more than one swear word like I couldn't watch like so I'd watch a Simpsons and then' be like they'd say damn something and i' be like oh and my parents would be like all right one more and it's off and then like I'd be like oh God please
don't let B Simpson say damn again no damn was a swear word yeah damn it's a swear word and then um I wasn't allowed to watch R-rated movies um so and so still to this day like you know there's all these great movies that you know came out in like the 9s that I just didn't really see Stripes never seen Stripes but like uh I remember like um a c like when I was in my early 20s like uh my girlfriend uh realized that uh I'd never seen any Terminators like she was like you haven't seen any Terminators I'm like no I just never never saw any of them like she was like you have to watch the Terminators like that um so we watched all three of them like that and uh binge Terminator watched all three terminat she's like what' you think I was like I like the third one the best and she's like you're crazy she's but I didn't have the Nostalgia like so I just watched them all at once I was like no I liked how they blew the world up at the end I thought that was cool she's like no I was like the lady Terminator she was cool like no no no it's the second Terminator is the one the second is the one that's what she was saying I thought the first was the one no the first one has really shitty special effects trying to watch it today on Blu-ray and you'll go what the [ __ ] is that what am I look that's not Arnold Schwarzenegger that's that thing's made out of silly putty God so are your parents uh they're still around yeah are they still like super Jesus out yeah they don't uh perform anymore but they're like uh you know they're my mom's a teacher and my dad's a graphic designer and stuff really yeah but uh wow yeah that's wild man so the what do they think about like you and what you do they don't like it um they they um you know my relationship is is fine with them would they ever sit you down Trevor no but they would um why Trevor Yeah well yeah I mean they they they don't like the the material or the things that I talk about or like what my you know comedy is usually about um but uh you know on the same on the same on the other side of that coin they're happy that you know things are going well you know they're happy that you know that it's like a weird you know we kind of try not to talk about like the stuff like when the special came out um
I was like I waited until pretty much the end to tell him like yeah it's called high in church um and uh they were going to they were and they were talking about they were like oh we're excited for your special like you know we're going to go over and meet with some of our friends and we're going to watch it when it comes out and they're like and they're like is it something that we should watch I'm like no you probably shouldn't watch it I was like um I was like there there's like one song you can probably watch I'll send you it's called high in church oh that's so funny oh my god did they ever have a sit down with you like an intervention no no no I mean it was more of like just phone arguments kind of I did a song about the pope um called the pope rap um and uh that like and I knew it was about to come out it was from my last album and um so uh I went home for Christmas one year and I'd already shot the music video for it and I was like well I might as well I was like you know what I'll do I'll just kind of I'll just kind of nip this in the bud like I'll kind of show this to them while I'm here I can answer any questions about it like you know so it's not like they see it it was a bad idea like ruined Christmas um it was a big like fight and so now I just I've learned from that I'm like just just don't watch it what was their argument what did they say to you well it's just like you know why would you oh you know what it I mean you know what it is it's like I think a lot of um like uh they think that it's a personal or they used to think that it was a personal affront to them um and it's not you know like oh like you were rebelling them specifically or mocking because because they were Christian musicians that is that it's and I could see them thinking that but it's like what I kind of had to explain is like you know what I a lot of my comedy comes uh is about religion um history and politics um but that's because that's where I grew up I grew up on like a Civil War battlefield um in Virginia like I'd go out with my grandfather and we would like you know find cannonballs with metal detectors and like you would dig them up and stuff like yeah just history was everywhere my my uncles were Civil War reenactors you know like yeah it was like a big history was like a big
thing what side were they reenacting both sides no they were Confederates it's Virginia um so s's G do it again yeah uh when they did that like what did they do they just put the outfits on and [ __ ] oh there' be hundreds of people it would be like you know they reenact whole battles like um now when you say reenact they use like muskets with no balls just flash powder and they all walk across the field [ __ ] hilarious and then all the women come and they dress up at the time they kind of cheer everybody on it was like a oh my God that must be awesome yeah well see I was born in New York and I came down uh and all of my family like lived in uh the Virginia and so like everyone like when I we all the when I was a kid everybody would play Civil War and like all of my cousins had like Civil War outfits and and I had and I was the only Yankee so I get my ass kicked all the time and I was always like you know like that's not how it happened this is not how the war like panned out like I you know that's hilarious you'd have to get your ass kick so they wanted the South to win all the wars oh well I mean I think did they ever allow like the South to lose cuz you're reenacting the war oh no no the reenactments are one thing I'm talking about when I was playing with my my cousins like that no no no they they did it authentically to like how the battles would actually play out so but it see it's very unorganized like it's people just running around and you're shooting and then I guess when you run out you like fake death and you like die and then you kind of lay on the ground for the rest of the battle what is the [ __ ] motivation to do that I don't have they any other they don't reenact World War II they don't no one storms the beach of Normandy again well we have both sides here and all the battle all the battlefields are here oh okay that makes sense you know we can yeah you could do it on you can go to Gettysburg it's a you know it's a couple hour drive for most people you know my stepdad went and he said it was really depressing he said I've never uh felt sadness in a location before he said yeah said I was there he goes you could feel it like you feel the fact that all those people died there if that makes any sense at all no it's the dark place and he's not a woo
woo guy he's a pretty straightforward guy so when he told me that I was like wow really yeah you could feel it I'll bet Normandy is like that you go there I bet there's a heavy PA you know oh I'd imagine there was somebody who did something on Normandy where they did uh they made like like sand images of all of the bodies like the Thousand that represent the thousands of people that died on that beach and it was really creepy cuz you looked it was I mean it was I think it's important like for people to understand the actual loss of life that you're deal dealing with but when this guy did it he was like an artist there it is wow that's um and those things that are there that are those things from the war that are still there is that what that is those those black things yeah is that what those are I think they are I think that's what that is clean wrong they're never going to clean it up but look at what that represents imagine being there and seeing all those [ __ ] bodies in real time I mean these people were showing up in boats and as they're getting out of the boats they're just getting shot at yeah I mean it's like that's the that's the mind-blowing thing about or guess big battles and Wars I mean you go to like basic training you spend all this time like preparing and then you get dropped into something like that I mean how much of it is I mean it's like I guess it's why you hear all those whenever you you know hear an interview with like a war veteran and they're like you know I'm not a hero the real heroes are the people that you know die the day I mean it's just like it's just luck you know you're just like one of the people that got through and like you know I mean it's just that opening scene in saved private Saving Private Ryan the opening scene when they're everyone's getting blown up in front of him Jesus [ __ ] Christ that's real man that's that's the real war yeah you know that was one of the things about that Brian Williams thing that I found particularly disturbing uh when Brian Williams got caught not telling the truth about his helicopter getting shot at what was interesting to me was not just that that this [ __ ] news guy lied but that the pilot of the helicopter that he was on was telling
his version of the story because they they had interviewed him and he said well our P our our helicopter did get hit with small arms fire and the helicopter in front of us was the one that got hit by the RPG and then we had to land and uh we had to drop off our our load first and that's why we were an hour behind them but we were all in the same Convoy so he's telling the story he's essentially like letting Brian Williams off the hook a little bit cuz he was saying like well we did get hit you know we got hit you know we were being attacked there no doubt about it and then a lot of people were like why would he lie about that because the LIE doesn't make him look any better like you were you were in a war you were getting attacked you did have to land you did take Small Arms fire and you were stuck in a sandstorm for two for two days so that fine story it's it's a [ __ ] crazy story just the sandstorm just the being just watching another helicopter front of you get hit with an RPG but then the guy um said that he got calls from all these other people that were saying no you didn't have Brian Williams in your helicopter this guy did or that guy did and there was like more than one story emerging of different people saying that they had Brian Williams in his helicopter and then he said you know what I don't even want to I don't I might be wrong I don't even want to talk about this anymore because because I've been doing these interviews about this now all the nightmares are coming back he's like I tried to put this aside and it it put in my mind uh it made me really think about getting over traumatic situations like that and how much how much of the truth of you know we're talking about like 12 plus years ago how much of the truth do you retain in your memory and how much of it is just really really confusing and [ __ ] up because it's just bullets and chaos and Nightmares and dead bodies and who knows how many times that guy saw somebody die and then they're asking him to recall a very specific specific instance where one very specific unremarkable at the time news guy was with them unremarkable at the time because nothing happened other than this news guy was there he probably took a bunch of different people who knows know he's not excited that Brian Williams is
in his helicopter care the the the crazy thing is he's in war and he's getting shot at and he's got he's all PTSD out and so you know he said you know respectfully I just I don't want to talk about this anymore just because of my my memories like it's really [ __ ] me up and all these things that I tried to forget now I'm being forced to remember them again and my memory might be [ __ ] up yeah I was like wow that is that's something to consider that memories are not carved in stone they're just not and they CH I mean there's they're um aren't they like that they're they're almost hardly used in courts you know eyewitness stuff like cuz it's like it's you change you know embellishment like um you know you always tell I mean I always like you know tell a story and then somebody you know some from like 10 years ago and somebody be like that's not what happened it happened like this and then you're like oh yeah you're right it did it's just kind of it's changed and and you see it a certain way like it can just like small things but you're like oh I guess that was this person in my mind I remember it being this other person that was there but I guess I guess that person wasn't there like you know kind and then you have to go well are you sure you got it right right it's like I yeah I remember some things very clearly very clearly because I kind of told the story more than once and the the the points in the story that were specific were very important but yeah there's some other stories that are just [ __ ] Loosely pieced together flashes in my brain like images that I can kind of recall kind of and chain of events that I can kind of recall correctly yeah but people are just some people are married to the idea that they remember everything exactly how it happened nobody does I don't think it's it's the weird thing is like when you tell a story or like something say something crazy happens in college and it's a story right out the gate you know kind of thing and you're telling that story and you tell that story for years and years and years and then at a certain point you don't really remember the actual event anymore but you remember the story you've been telling the story forever like like some be remember when this happened you're like no but I do remember the story you know
I remember it happened but I have no memory of it anymore really and then some people remember [ __ ] that you don't remember at all and they're like come on man you don't remember we did that thing together like I don't even know what the [ __ ] you're talking about like is this guy crazy or do I just not have a memory of an actual event which one is this I tell you what I'm going to remember Trevor Moore this podcast me too smoking was good for your memory too yes I heard nicotine I think we're out of time we're going to turn into a pumpkin any minute now I Trevor Moore I the the letter i Trevor Moore on Twitter uh website uh Trevor more.org um hi in church you can get it on Comedy Central direct is it one of those five buck jammies yeah nice how nice is that Louis CK set the [ __ ] model and we all follow um that's it dude thank you very much let's do this again this fun this was a blast again we will do it again all right and again awesome and then we'll have F false memories about the podcast we did all right my friends see you soon much [Music] love n