Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rHLLmQPqLY
tommy chong ladies and gentlemen how are you sir i'm fine man it's great to see you again man you too joe i tell everybody that one of my first ever experiences with comedy recordings was listening to big bamboo when i was a kid my parents had it and uh they'd let us listen to it we opened it up like a big old packet of rolling papers and pull out the albums back then the actual record you know and so i've been a fan for a long time i can tell man i can tell how are you the lover of the weed i'm i'm fine man i couldn't be better you know i'm i'll be 81 friday wow that's amazing does that sound crazy to say because i'm 51 that sounds crazy to say when i say it i'm like jesus is that true [ __ ] i'm 30 years older than you wow wow that's something but i feel good man you know all the systems are go again you know and that that makes a big difference in their life you know yeah that's what i found out the fountain of youth is uh the [ __ ] that's it yeah that's all it is drink it at the fountain of youth and you'll live forever really yep okay yeah what about if you're gay well i guess long pause yeah i had to think about that [Laughter] well i guess it might be dick for that i guess it no i don't know it has to be the fountain it has to be the phone so even for gay folks gotta be [ __ ] too well how long what's the longest living gay guy that you know that's a good question huh like bob hope man was he gay no at least at least one night i knew he would no that's my family youth yeah you know because romance well what happens is your body when it reaches a certain stage it it starts disintegrating because it's getting ready for the recall and the reboot and you get a new body and away you go again but if you keep this body healthy uh it it feels that there's no need to to leave because you obviously still got more [ __ ] to do yeah you're still enjoying it yeah you're still
producing you know are you exercising everything oh yeah yeah what do you do i got a trainer now yeah but my main exercise is tango tango tango really i will turn you on to tango tango is old folks sex you the whole thing about tango is it's so intricate it was a the original tango was a mating dance from africa really and what they would do the the tribes the young kids would get together and dance and flirt with their feet and so when the slaves got taken you know from africa and put on the boats and that they ended up crossing the the foot dance with the adagio french dance the dance of the brothels and so the so then they ended up with a music or a dance called tangle which was a combination tango itself is a word that means small drum it's an african drum just like mambo it's an african word that means uh storytelling really yeah dude story time with tommy chong oh yeah man i was in jail i had nothing but time and i wrote a whole paper on tango so anyway tango like i go to argentina with my wife a lot and it's very tough dance to dance with your wife you have to dance with a stranger and she has to dance with a stranger why is that i think it's you're too intimate too personal you know each other too well if you're a stranger then all you can respond to is the dance uh uh signals like the man has to lead but he has to lead in such a way that that you can't see him you know he can't pull her around the the he suggests oh okay like if and so he'll suggest a certain move and then the girl her partner will understand that move and then she can do a couple of steps and that a certain way hmm like one it's called the uh uh in fact i can't remember the
the term uh ochos ochos which means back and forth and and out of those combinations once the guy gets a girl going into the ochos for instance then he can move on to he'll stop her with his foot and then he'll move on to another series of of moves and they're all designed and but the stranger you know the woman has to really listen to the the moves if she's dancing with a stranger or a teacher and and that's how and then it has to be a close embrace and the woman has to be cuddled up against the guy not always but for the most part so you're not looking at your feet at all and it's all about feel and so you have to feel the other person's body and it can get so intimate man that you really felt after a good dance with a good tangled teacher you really feel like having a cigarette really and relaxing for a bit did you study this did you like take classes i got turned on to it in paris i was uh cheech and i were finishing up the corsican brothers and i was we we got offered to do the siskel kid and they sent me the script and in the script it said tango dancers and so there we my wife and i girlfriend at the time but the wife now we used to drive by this place that said tango and neon lights and so we stopped and and took our first tango lesson from this uh george and rosie a couple there and george was too old to get out of bed he was butt is in his 90s or something he was in bed rosie came and met us and we and she showed us the first little bit of tango well my wife shelby who was an excellent dancer she's been studying dance you know ever since uh i can remember you know and so she she started doing salsa first and then i found out about that and i had to learn salsa but then we started learning tango together
and then she went on to really learn how to dance how to dance with the pros me i'm still struggling to be a pro and it's very hard it's like mma fighting you know like she's a pro i'm an amateur and so when i when we go down to buenos aires like we went down for her birthday i was a video operator because i didn't know how to dance you know that well i i take lessons almost uh 20 years now but i still don't have the skills to to be a professional like like that but uh yeah so i went down and videotaped her and then i came back and i made a vow i said this is embarrassing you know because people know me from years ago and i still can't dance and so so it's it's about time that i learned so i i gave up everything to learn tango and now really like what'd you give up golf more than anything really yeah there's a lot of guys right now that are going crazy why would you give up golf for a tango well actually it worked out really well i played a tournament golf last week and i did the best i've ever done if you lay off something you forget all your bad habits oh that's true too and you're probably really enthusiastic about playing i loved it yeah i wasn't i i did good i got about two pars incredible for you know for me i'm you know i got about a 36 handicap something like that but uh so but i gave up golf because it was too much energy it was taking too much energy sure you got to walk around all the time yeah i would also imagine that the tango dancing all the movement in the footwork would actually probably make you more steady and stable balance better so it'd probably make your golf game better oh it did totally i noticed that with uh yoga yoga makes pool better yeah in some weird way like makes you stand stronger yeah yeah so there's also a a pause and comedy someone asked me about the secret accommodates it's a pause and and the tango is a pause too timing timing waiting
waiting and using that that that silence you know before you say something to give people the time to formulate their own thoughts about what you're doing or to concentrate on what you're going to say next and and that's the same same thing with tango is this you yeah look at you well that's me with uh people were you on dancing with the stars yeah oh [ __ ] yeah how hard was that to do oh it's incredible look at this karen or every what the hell is going on here good lord what are you saying to her there we did it we did it we did it wow yeah randy coach uh looks like randy was crying what's his name uh uh kevin hart kevin hart was the judge yeah he gave me a 10. oh that's the only can i got look at look at she had to carry me off there wow oh man that tore my butt up man i imagine literally serious [ __ ] training for that i came that was rectal cancer whoa yeah i got i found out on that show wow how did you don't think you got it from dancing i i think i got it from uh no smoking and uh and the stress from no smoking weed no smoking weed i quit smoking weed during the show why'd you do that i thought it would help me with my uh coordination or something well with my being you know yeah because it's hard to learn things when you're stoned something that's what i'm saying yeah like in jiu jitsu most people agree that it's not a good idea to smoke pot when you're learning skills but it's a good idea to smoke pot when you have the skills yeah yeah it'll come you down yeah when you roll and you already know what to do it's like instinctive then you can smoke some pot yeah but like learning like if someone shows me a new move when i'm high i can't even figure out where the body's going like wait where's your arm how am i doing this you get too high and then what am i doing you get baffled yeah
yeah well that's the same as tango well so you really think that that happened to you because of that see i had prostate cancer and and it was a kind of prostate it was so slow acting the lazy ass doctor said well we won't do we'll just leave it alone and you'll probably die of something else before that happens and so that was his attitude that was their attitude jesus christ yeah it happens all the time you know because you know prostate can be very slow and i had a slow one one and so but i had a biopsy when i had one to find out because i was gonna do the growth hormone uh and that's why i checked out my blood to make sure you know i didn't have cancer i found out i had prostate cancer and but they did a biopsy and i think that could have done it you know the biopsy they come and take a piece of your so you think that taking a biopsy could have caused damage which could have led to cancer could have could have uh caused the cancer cell to to hit the rectum the way it did and so i got a bag now i got a glossamy bag you know so but now i'm totally healed now and and i'm i'm i'm good to go you know the only thing and so i don't know if if it was the the lack of weed and and the stress and and the fact that i had prostate you know so when they fixed the rectal and i got the the best one of the best doctor kajanian what'd they have to do they had to operate they had to take out change the plumbing from them uh from the front from the back to the front that's the cost me bag so so i i i have no more rectum wow so i'm a virgin again i'm kidding and then you put the bag around to the front and that's all they did there and then i had then they but what they did they swept the prostate clean with the radiation they said we're down there anyway so we might as well do their prostate too so they fixed the prostate and thank god i never had it taken out because now i can i i got the the sleeping giant is awoke again sleeping giant yeah
i woke the sleeping giant up i think it was a weed that did it too and plus my gorgeous ways but yeah i started getting these urges and i thought oh oh what's happening here and i'm doing testosterone that's probably what did it yeah the testosterone and then and then i'm going in for a shot tomorrow that's it's a it's a new procedure that they use apparently to help induce labor because it's all about blood flow down there and so it's going to induce i tried pills i tried viagra you know it doesn't doesn't work enough and so i'm i'm going in tomorrow for a an injection of some some help the blood flow to help the giant get a little more awake now when you went to jail you had a stun you you were your case was horrible i mean it was it was so depressing to hear that you were going to jail for making bongs yeah i mean it just the whole thing was so sick and that they were threatening to put your family in jail and that's why they sent you to jail you couldn't smoke pot for a while after that right for years how long um probably three years because you're on probation probation pre-probation before you went to jail pre-pre-trial because if you get caught then you end up getting tortured well the whole time i was there nine months i was there i couldn't smoke they tested me all the time they tried to catch me and they had nothing to catch and then a year after that i was on probation and i never smoked i can quit you know i got uh willpower you know i can quit i quit smoking i quit drinking i quit eating bad food but you had the rec well for one thing that happened that was great was that you became even more of a hero to the cannabis community because people knew yeah you truly were a martyr and then it was it was outrageous and it was so it was so wrong that even people that didn't smoke pot really like how the [ __ ] you arrested tommy chong like come on man like all the terrorists in the world the
criminals the rapists the murderers i know you're going to put tommy john in jail yeah like would we protecting or serving what are we doing here which one yeah which one is that yeah they were just saying showing off showing off but once i got a message once i got in there i was in there with a lot of people that were unjustly incarcerated i was in there with uh the orthopedic surgeon for the rams and uh he he he had been in attacks it wasn't it was legal at the time he did it which was that he had a big car collection and he and he rode off the car collection somehow and then the irs changed people and and next thing you know they they came to him and said you owe all this money and if you don't pay it you got to go to jail and he couldn't pay it so he went to jail oh this is he's the orthopedic surgeon he's like super straight the straight is one of the straightest guys i ever met and there was another guy that that figured out the oj tax scheme you know how oj can keep his uh his uh uh money from the intention because he's in florida yeah well it's a it's a law that a loophole that allowed you know uh oj to keep his uh taxes i mean tax free money and so so this accountant figured out how to do it and he started getting rich people so they didn't have to pay taxes and so rather than to change the law or do anything like that they'd just put his ass in jail because they could and they put him in there for a year and he wasn't doing anything illegal nothing illegal except and then they told them or you you're going to get out in a year but you're not going to do that tax thing anymore wow yeah no one know the government the irs is creepy you do not want to owe them money especially if you're trump oh well they're coming after him right now right
what are they coming after him for now that like new york state is allowing congress to subpoena his tax returns oh yeah yeah deutsche bank they got his accountant his account nothing to do with the federal government i tell everybody why would you want to be president like why would you want to do that to yourself unless you're super clean and even if you're super clean they're going to make [ __ ] up about you no the only reason trump did it is because he owes putin so much money you think so oh for sure for sure how did this loser billionaire get get financed over and over and over again and guess who's laundering money like crazy from russia the guy that needs the money no the whole trump family is going to go down you think so oh for sure taxes man al capone to donald trump you can't evade taxes so do you think that he owes taxes he owes putin he owes putin so much money that he's scared to death how do you know this common sense oh okay so it's a guess oh no figured out okay let's go down the history uh comey is a fbi right uh mueller the fbi trump was attacking uh obama with the birther obama's a president obama's got control of the fbi cia everybody so obama said okay find out about this trump guy so they found out about him but the thing is they can't really do anything unless he becomes president other than that he'd just walk away free no one gets a decision you know what he cares about he can't do anything unless he becomes president yeah or you mean the fbi there's no break in the law there's no law that says that you can't deal with russia right only law says you can't deal with russia and be the president of the united states at the same time right the only time he would break any laws is that if he became
president right and he has to become president and he became president thanks to comey because hillary was going to win no matter what they say hillary was going to win until comey said oh new stuff came up and they knew they knew back in obama time that there was nothing really wrong that hillary did nothing nothing but they told her to release emails and she deleted 30 000 of them so but she wasn't supposed to do that that's illegal and she was using her own personal email server instead of the governments which it was out of laziness and convenience more than more than uh anything illegal you know she wasn't looking to get finance to her hotel by the russians you know she wasn't looking for money her and bill had money they got money yeah yeah they it's a little fishy little little stinky stuff around there but but it's normal it's it's uh normal politics so so my theory is is that comey and the fbi said let's get this guy so you think they let him become president so they can get him i think barr is part of the part of the the the the comey gang this you know what's going to be hilarious about this this video when people watch this they're going to go how high is tom tommy julian made trump president so they could prosecute him yeah yeah that's an interesting theory yeah i don't know if i buy it but think about i don't think anybody's controlling the strings that well but i don't think the puppeteers are that's good listen if look at everybody that was around trump that became chief of staff and everything else right all military right why because trump trump's got his finger on the on the button he's got ability to get on the button and so in order to keep him in line they got people around him that can keep him in line yeah yeah and the fbi they they can infiltrate anything they infiltrated
the mob for years they infiltrated the the uh hell's angel do you think they couldn't infiltrate donald trump's gang but do you think they were trying to absolutely really just because him going after obama with the birth or stuff it's a start you know you mess with the president look at that a lot of people were saying he was from kenya right there was some ridiculous photoshop analysis of his birth certificate anything anything to keep a black guy from being a president yeah and that's what they found out you see and and and the fbi and the federal laws you know against racism and that's pretty pretty pretty strict it's pretty heavy you know until trump got in and so so so anyway this is my theory that that that's something that yes theory right there yeah like like i i really feel that giuliani is part of the the scheme to keep trump you know why with hope well he gives him hope you know hey they can't look at your taxes you're the president for christ's sake uh you know you you're the supreme leader you know well he does have so there's some things they won't do when you're in office absolutely they won't indict you for certain things in office and so they plan it well look at mueller said he says i'm going to hand this off to the congress you can impeach him here's all the evidence you need to impeach him and now the democrats they got to figure out are we going to impeach him go through that or are we just going to go to the election and beat his ass in the election and then then arrest him after the election who do you think is going to beat him in the election anybody anybody you think joey i don't know oh yeah really oh yeah you are high huh no strong weak where are you getting it well look at look at the trump the trump backers for instance right can you find one thinker in that backing group well i mean who are who we're talking about the same thing you know can can can think racism binds you right but what racism racism is ignorance it's a form of ignorance i've got a dem i had it in my family you know so i know
exactly i've been i've been you know kissing close to racist and i know that mentality and so pure ignorance yeah ignorance and the ignorance doesn't stop with one thing it carries on to a lot of a lot of other things like work and like all sorts of things and so when you look at the people that are opposing trump you know the the the women the the kids the intellectuals the uh the the liberals progressives all those people they they want a good future for our country you know the other ones they just want to keep everybody else out or perceived enemies it's perceived enemies that anybody like anybody with a gun that's the whole thing you know if you have a gun you're not very intelligent why is that because you're paranoid you're wait man if you have a gun you're not intelligent because you're paranoid having a gun means that you're afraid that someone's going to come and attack you you know right and and so that having a gun is like they want to arm teachers for instance that seems kind of crazy yeah that is so stupid and it's so dumb you know and just like the ones that knew know about guns like the cops that didn't go into the school they knew the guys got a ak they're not going to go into that school with their little pistols and so they didn't go into the school and the ones that rushed to god they ended up dying so what i'm saying is that if you if you have a gun and you if you think you need a gun for your house for whatever if you think you have something that's worth someone else's life then you are ignorant well i don't necessarily think that's what they think they don't think that the gun is worth someone else's life they think they don't want to get their life taken by a home invasion yeah which does happen did you see that video of the the guy that
had a raccoon on his boat no he had a raccoon on his boat yeah he was he saw him any any no it was a wild raccoon and he filmed it and he's 20 miles out in the sea and he sees this raccoon and so he filmed himself kicking the raccoon off the boat into the ocean into the ocean he filmed it and then he went he posted it because he had no idea how ignorant that was he had no idea was the raccoon dangerous was it trying to [ __ ] you up they will [ __ ] you oh sure sure but like the the wild the wild guys the wildlife guy said just get a blanket throw it over and put him in the in the in the bathroom yeah until you get close to shore and then kick them off yeah you know but this guy right away he freaked it out and he was like listen off my boat terrible well see that's that's the form of ignorance that that i'm talking about it's also just fear it's fear that's what that's what fear is fear is ignorance right but if someone has a gun in their house to protect themselves from home invasions home invasions do happen and people have saved their family with guns that that's a real thing but you don't read about that much oh you read about it plenty if you go looking for it really yeah there's something if you look at the the overall there's they have like a pie chart of gun violence in this country and an unfortunately large number is suicides when they start talking about how many people have died unfortunately large number of suicide by gun and i feel like if people are going to kill themselves with a gun they probably kill themselves pills or anything else if they had that as well right and then there's justifiable homicides but by the police there's there's people that are protecting their house there's a bunch of different there's gang violence there's a bunch of different things to get lumped in when we talk about gun violence but a certain percentage of them are people that are protecting their house or their help their their family from someone who's trying to hurt them yeah it does happen occasionally
i'm in business with it with a with an ex-pilot from vietnam and uh i'm quite sure he has a sidearm in his his house but it would be useless because it's so locked away and so hidden by the time anything happened by the time he got to that gun and got it loaded and found the ammunition everything else yeah maybe or maybe he could keep it right by his bed no but someone and then what what if it's your daughter or something coming in at late at night and you mistake her for well you open your mouth and you say something and go shooting into the dark or what if you have homicidal tendencies and you've been wanting see one thing i learned about guns because i grew up with guns too i grew up in the in the country and where'd you grow up in calgary alberta canada oh really oh that's right you're canadian yeah crazy so guns guns where do you ever think about moving back up there oh no i i i lived up there oh no i lived there oh no no la is where you want to be but i grew up with with guns where you actually needed a gun right you know like especially when when the hawks are coming down to get your chickens or you know you know some stuff like that but i seen the gun culture in in in calgary and it turned me off because i seen kids they would take a a stray dog in time and bring them up to the field time to a tree or something or post and then shoot them oh jesus shoot him that is sport you know uh and and they couldn't because here's the thing about guns i went duck hunting with my brother one time and uh in the field and he got bored waiting for the ducks to come and so here comes uh um uh what do you call it is that your phone yeah i'm sorry that's okay i don't know your wrist it's out there your wrist your wrist is ringing he turned it off
no we went duck hunting and we're waiting there for hours where the ducks come over and my brother he got bored and there's a muskrat swimming across the thing so he shot it with a shotgun and he walks out into the middle of the of the slough picks up the muskrat as the ducks flew over top of us [Music] just stupidity man well that's definitely stupid but there's responsible gun owners don't you think well as they are like i i was in army cadets and when we we had practice i'm a sharpshooter by the way yeah yeah i i got some some what they call patches you know sharpshooter uh 300 yards so so i i know how to handle a rifle anyway but when we go uh shooting we would have to first of all we never got the weapon and until we marched down into firing position then we were handed the weapon and one bullet and then we put the bullet in hit the target another bullet shoot the target and then when we were finished we had to pick up all our casings and give them back and if though anything was missing no one left until they found that missing bullet and that's gun safety yeah then the gun was taken from us and put it in an armory it's only used when you're going to use it you know just like walking around the skill saw you know you can have a license to carry a skill saw but you don't have a skill saw strapped to your side and you can take out you know try your skill saw anytime you want it is the open carry thing is very strange when you see people walking around with guns strapped to their hips in arizona you're like okay they're targets why don't you do that you're a target in a way yeah it's like the bikers like bikers you know the hell's angels and the mongols and that they're the only crime in synagogue i know that advertise yeah on their back look at me yeah look at me i'm a thug i'm a you know i
extort i i do all sorts i beat up people i kill people yeah and i ride on a big hog you know i mean it's crazy but people do that for recognition yeah see that's like mass shooters that's what they do it for get their name in the paper yeah look what i did look at what useless old me i'm not so useless what's true the craziest thing about mass shooters is it's not effect i mean guns have been around for a long time but this is not a thing that's been around for a long time this is a fairly recent thing that keeps erupting over and over and over again i don't know you were too young to remember but when i was a kid the crime comics were banned they were banned they were banned because they were bad they showed violence books comic books wow and they were people up in arms about comic books and now you got video games be a mass killer well how about movies you know i mean so many movies movies john wick movies just everybody's getting shot everybody yeah one of my favorites is peppermint with peppermint what's that jennifer uh gardner she's a superhero oh or her name is peppermint the the the name of the movie is peppermint have you heard of this jamie you have i'm not like in last eight months or something really not that long ago yeah it's great i've watched it about three times now and and the what yeah why have you watched it so many times i think jennifer gardner is kind of hot oh okay and and to see her to see her to see her with the guns in her and the third time i i realized a lot of it where stunt stunt people how can you tell just i've seen it so many times it wasn't oh okay so you're looking for everything yeah i'm freezing for that little thing but again that's the kind of violence that that we we got shown and and people get immune yes and especially especially uh people
they get stupid you know like when i was a kid i i saw a picture my brother died recently and there's a whole picture uh photo thing of him and i when we were kids and they used to get put under the christmas tree six guns and when we're little guys we we're three or four years old i had six guns strapped to my myself you know because uh cowboys roy rogers and gene audrey and that was a big deal you know you had your six gun shooters but you never shot anybody you just shot the gun under their hand you know yeah that was the old days yeah right the good guys always shot people in the hand they shot the gun away from them all right you got me yeah different world yeah no going from the old days to big bamboo to where we're at today where you're actually in the weed business now oh you know what john's choice which is crazy right it's like you were arrested for just selling glass how many years ago was that like fifteen oh three go through sixteen years ago oh three so 16 years ago you're arrested for just selling glass 2019 you're selling full-on weed legally in four or five countries that's crazy yeah germany uh spain you you were so ahead of the curve yeah but you also you were one of the real ogs that paid a price yep yep and you know now it's gotta be nice to see that your influence had something to do with all this i did it it did it feels really well really did all your movies i mean you guys made weed look fun yeah yeah it was fun yeah but everybody made it out like you know you go from if you think about propaganda positive and negative you go from reefer madness which is the most negative to the cheech and chong movies which is probably the most positive most positive up until like half baked that was the most positive weed stuff we ever saw right it was so super positive it was all just silly yeah fun crazy yeah crazy silly uh humor ghetto humor yeah you know a lot of ghetto humor
and and i wanted to be the rich guy you know the kid of the rich guy because that's what the 60s happened you know all the hip you know in order to get laid you had to be hippie and so all the rich kids are growing their hair long and you know yeah you know living on the streets all that stuff yeah you guys uh popularized vans too and we you know yeah you know we used to we used to say uh when we'd be on uh radio uh some of the radio shows and i and i was really popular on the right wing radio shows because i would i'd inflame the whole crowd they'd get all pissed off at me because i would out people you know like like i outed danny sullivan you know the race car driver i said oh yeah danny smokes pot you know and people got mad at you for that it went nuts i think that's why i got busted really because i was in st louis on a radio show that ashcroft listened to and i think ashkov heard me and and the the hit went out people forgot how crazy that guy is yeah do you mind is he still alive that's a good question but do you remember when he was singing he had a song that he sang that he wrote uh about let the eagle soar this is when right yes when he was attorney general and it was so creepy and crazy that this person would say he had a whole album of gospel music like he was a psycho he was i would love to climb inside that guy's head and find out what kind of gears are spinning around in there i think i did and i think i ended up in jail for my pro for yeah he had a whole song that he sang on television he said i think he sang it was either in front of congress or something along those lines where he no he was giving a speech somewhere and then along with the speech he wanted to sing this song let the eagle soar like she's never soared before it's so you want to hear it see if you find it jamie it's it's so bad i got 10 seconds from my daily show moment of zen that they did with it well there's a bit the video i know it's that video looked shitty this is the clearest video i could find okay quick
it's just ten seconds of it okay here's the here's the video look at this check this out look up there like she's never soared before from rocky coast [Music] stop that's all you need to say like stop you can't nothing forever bro that's when you kind of say yeah maybe guns are okay yeah maybe everything's fine maybe missiles but seeing a guy like that thinking that that psychopath had any control whatsoever over any laws or anyone getting arrested that guy is [ __ ] insane he's the guy who's wanted to cover the breasts yeah he did which brought attention to him yeah no one noticed the tits before he put a bail over exactly then now they're looking at all you see is titties he was a spooky guy he was yeah well yeah i found out that bush administration had some spooky [ __ ] people there they really did it's really interesting that history whitewashes these weird old guys yeah like ronald reagan after he died ronald reagan became like this patron saint of conservative thinking when i was in high school ronald reagan was president and everybody [ __ ] hated that yeah they hated him yeah it was like he was a creep like he thought about him like this guy's a fraud he's a phone he's lying about selling arms to iran the whole thing was it was it was so crazy to watch that guy become this loved figure i used to work out with his daughter patty really yeah and her and i were pretty good friends until one day i came to the gym and uh i saw a part of a movie called calliglia and she said oh how did you like it i said i was too [ __ ] for me and apparently uh ron her brother her brother is very gay yeah she blew it she blew up at me how dare how can you say that how dare you don't you know my brother and yeah so it's nothing to do with the movie just i'm not into that that's okay i just don't like watching it doesn't mean i don't want you to do it that's funny yeah ron was like super hardcore democrat right his son it was that was a an interesting little thing
yeah said his son was gay well uh ronnie was wasn't that right-wing until uh until he found a better path for him like trump yeah he was uh ronnie was a democrat like trump yeah yeah yeah he was when he was younger yeah see when they get older you know then that's that always happens you sell you're paranoid they also get paranoid and they start want to tighten up the borders and lock and load let the eagles soar like she's never sworn before imagine like sitting down writing that out and then and then singing it with all that emotion and passion as if that makes any [ __ ] sense to anyone well obviously no there is no uh stopping him you know he's a [ __ ] [ __ ] and the the songs about a bird that's an evil rept like a raptor like an eagle is a [ __ ] monstrous animal that will eat babies they'll eat anything they can get their hands on they swoop down and snatch fish right out of the [ __ ] river they're [ __ ] i mean they're amazing creatures i don't hate eagles but the the idea that that's america america is a [ __ ] vicious flying dinosaur it's kind of hilarious it really is kind of hilarious that's our animal uh it's funny man no i i pissed off a lot of people in you know yeah not meaning to you know what you used to say you know we used to say when they would attack us you know and say what if we're right what if everything we're doing is right and you're wrong and next thing you know it's true we were right yeah well you've been you were right the whole time yeah and you know i remember when i first started smoking weed i was well i had smoked it a couple of times up until i was 30. and then when i was 30 my friend eddie eddie bravo got me high for the first time i remember i couldn't believe that this was what pot was i was like this is it i thought it made you stupid like oh i can't stop thinking about things like yeah some of the thoughts are a little unorganized and kind of chaotic but it wasn't making me lazy it wasn't doing any of these things that people were claiming it did it didn't make me stupid it made me curious yeah made me want to
watch science documentaries yeah and eat yeah and eat and eat food tasted so good i can't believe how good this food tastes i know it's just it is one of the biggest puzzles of modern times is that even in 2019 with all these states that have legalized it there's still a bunch of people that think that pot is bad for you and then it makes you lazy and i always say that pot is like any other tool it's like a hammer you could build a house with a hammer or you could just hit yourself in the dick if you're [ __ ] crazy and it's the same thing with pot that's exactly you can use pot and it can enhance your life and it can enhance your relationship and it makes you friendlier and more com more camaraderie more compassion or you could just get stoned all day and do nothing you got that goddamn phone ringing on your wrist does that freak you out having that i had one of those on my wrist for a day and i was like what really am i doing i don't i don't know how to work it so it's just decoration for me why do i have a regular watch then this is my son my son got it for me uh paris paris got it because he updates my everything oh okay okay if it wasn't for paris i'd still be uh riding a bike yeah i don't i don't i had one of those that i was using for a while for like fitness tracking stuff but then i got this whoop i got this other thing that's quite a bit more accurate and does more stuff you're 50 wood 51 yeah wow good shape man thank you i'm scared never let it go i work out all the time because i'm terrified of it falling apart well no you're you're hooked on the adrenaline and you're hooked on the endorphins for sure yeah with that too it's also for mental health reasons like for me i need to exercise well like arnold you know when i when when i first came to l.a i i uh first thing i did was join gold's gym because i read about it you know in vancouver and then i met arnold and all the all the guys and and they're they were so healthy you know if he took a sip of seven up he'd spit it out really yeah and he was super super
healthy but he smoked a joint he would smoke a joint that was another thing pumping iron that documentary pump parents saw him after he won smoking a joint and made pot look better like wow this guy smoked pot that's right how the [ __ ] does pop make you a loser if the biggest bodybuilder on the planet the most successful yeah yes and then i ordered them one time like i owed everybody and and uh arnold was walking with stallone at the time and there's that famous picture yeah they handled this numero uno they asked arnold uh you know tommy chong said that he smoked pot with you and and stallone jumped in right away oh no that's a lie that's a lie he never smoked and i said no no yeah we did smoke pot we knew how to enjoy ourselves back then yeah that was just alone those rambo movies i got some good stories on stallone but you don't remember jordan belford jordan belfort the wolf of wall street yes yeah i was in jail with him oh and i helped him write his book really yeah in fact all i did was insult him and made him because i was writing my book and he was started he said what are you doing i'm writing because we shared a cubicle and as i'm writing my book he says i'm gonna write a book so he wrote a couple of pages and he handed it to me like hey read this you know and i read it and it was like a copy of tom wolf you know bonfires and humanities and i i said you haven't written [ __ ] and handed it back to him and he's what do you mean i said i haven't written nothing he's what what should i write he challenged me i said write what you know i said write those stories you've been telling me every night you know i said there's one rule that you got to remember when you're writing or doing anything it's called the most of so you don't get you don't just get high you get higher than anybody's ever gotten in their life if you're going to put it on screen you know you don't just have a fight you have a fight that goes on forever you know that's that's the kind of stuff you need that people are interested and so he said he didn't talk
to me for about about a month after that he was mad at you yeah he was just right now i'll show this guy and he wrote the wolf of wall street really yeah and then he gave it to you and you're like all right you got something here no no no no no the last time the next time i saw him he pulled in front of my house with his car we weren't we were both on probation so we couldn't talk to each other and so he yelled from his car he goes hey i sold the sold the book to uh martin scorsese so you're allowed to talk to each other by yelling yeah but you couldn't be close yeah you couldn't be how close did you have to how far away do you have to stay well you know technically you're not supposed to talk to each other you know but but yelling there no one's going to say anything about it that's hilarious yeah no you can you violate your probation they put you back in right because you're associating with felons that's right right that's that's so crazy that someone who you're trying to rehabilitate with yeah you can't talk to them because they also [ __ ] up there was a nixon speech speechwriter that was in with me and he was so innocent and they wanted what they were the the government was trying to get stuff on amalda marcos you know the philippines and and this lawyer that i was in there was a speech writer uh a reagan speechwriter and and he wouldn't give up uh marcos or imelda and so they put him in jail for a year and and when he got out on probation being a straight guy he was he went home and took a valium to help him sleep and he got drug tested the next day he went back in jail he went he went back in jail so you got to be very careful when you're dealing with probation people because they got you by the balls man that's such a it's got to be a weird thing dealing with the probation officers because they have that power over you you know yeah do they [ __ ] with you not me i was too much of a celebrity and i had a lot of nice ladies and so i'd flirt with them right you know you're all friends yeah i've started with everything well as i'm sure like
all things right there's good people doing it in basketball yeah yeah it's a job yeah it's a job it's a paycheck you know the sad thing about when i was in jail and taft was that it's built over a toxic waste dump where they used to that's where they found oil in taft in california and when they found oil back in the day they never had a way to contain it they would just dig it and hit it and they would just spill all over the the ground and so they would dig big trenches out like big pools and they would fill up with oil then they would get the barrels and dip the barrels in and that's how they filled up the oil barrels and and so after they figure out how to do it right they uh the ground is all toxic and so they built a federal prison over top of it whoa and so everybody that's worked there and a lot of people that did time there all gotten cancer and died so you think that's probably the root of your cancer it could be could be could be for sure right yeah easy yeah because that's where i got it and they say that marijuana does something to cancer right inhibits cancer in certain ways i don't know technically what it does i think what it does more than anything it calms the brain see any time you calm the brain you lose a fear see you know the fear is that uh fight or flight you know that's your response your body goes into this fight or flight mode and when you calm that down your body just goes into relaxation mode and when you're in the fight-or-flight mode the other parts of your body can't can't function properly like your immune system but when you're in a total relaxed mode that's why when an animal gets hurt they usually just crawl off in a corner somewhere and just lay there and lick their wounds and and and they just calm everything down and then they let the body take over the heel and i think what happens with pot is that it mellows the brain to the point where you yeah so what you know and you you
allow your body to uh take over but you still need that other treatments you still need the chemo the radiation you need all that stuff you know are you taking cbd oil no yeah yeah yeah how much do you take i'm not sure i'm not good at that amount you know mm-hmm but you take it everywhere i take it i take it i i right now i'm on testosterone and uh and cbd yeah and then just flour you know you smoke up a couple of joints oh we got a we got a gift bag for you yes thank you yeah thank you tommy thank you it's always good to have it i got something from be real that scared the [ __ ] out of me i did be real smoke box oh yeah b-roll from cypress yeah i know b [ __ ] that's probably as high as i've ever been in my life really those guys go hard oh yeah i couldn't keep up with them no no i don't even try i i'm a lightweight man well when i spoke with arnold with all the dave draper all these muscle heads would come around and they got a big bong and the thing was they put like a like a an ounce in the bowl and then they'd fired up and then they'd suck on it so hard whoever exploded the the bowl into the into the water made it explode or then you were the hero all the all the muscle heads are they're taking their hit arnold takes a big hit you know the thing explodes then they hand it to me it was like and they looked at me like well i wasn't changing no i wasn't the chong at the time so they just looked at me like yeah okay it goes over there back then you were just a guy yeah i was just almost faceless what was it like being famous for being a pothead back in the 70s because that had to be weird because you were you were you and cheech were famous potheads where i don't think there was anybody else like who else was a famous pothead no no one no maybe no one ever you guys were the trailblazer what's his name uh uh the actor
oh christ i can't think of his name he did time he did a year in jail in county for one joint robert mitchum oh yeah robert mitchum but he was like a straight lace guy yeah the image big cowboy yeah yeah he got high he's a tough guy that was the image well you know what the big the big uh draw for pot was the sex see it it was it was before uh what do you call it soapers or uh sober quaaludes you know the quail thing the quaalude was a big sex thing that was uh people would have sex on quaaludes oh yeah why yeah i've never taken a quite what does it do for you oh just they're called spreaders when a girl gets high on on on the coilu just like uh take me yeah do you think that's why bill cosby was one of those of those girls totally totally so that was the thing that just relaxes you into something it makes you horny really oh yeah and that's what pot does for for for me now but but it does for people for women women love to sleep with that and they love to have uh sex you know after smoking joints was annie hall was at annie hall with woody and he got a little pissed off do you have to get high every time you make love with me yeah oh that's right was that any haul i think it was annie and i think i think everybody in the picture the movie company in the movie house said yeah i can dig it yeah it definitely changes the way things feel yeah it relaxes yeah relaxes you hear music better so you feel things better everything feels nicer i like to do yoga on it i like to smoke weed right before i go to yoga class yeah it's amazing like you feel all the muscles you feel like the tiny ones and the ones connected to weird spots and you don't smoke a lot or a couple of talks or before yoga class i don't want to get too high i'll just be inside my head yeah i just wanted like two hits just two hits he's just going high
i'm high but i'm not blasted yeah you know that that's me too you know i got uh i've been giving all sorts of toys you know because they got the chong's choice we in the stores and that and so they i'm getting tons of pipes all the time and i make pipes too in fact the the this is that's the not a pipe this is another place you gave me one of those yeah you got yes i got one of those whatever it was six years ago last time you were on the show yeah you gave me the not a pipe oh good i got it at home but i i you know so so now they got they got a new one i can't think of it i got it for you here anyway oh great thank you it's called easy pipe oh okay easy pipe it's so cool because you open the thing and it's got a lighter built in and there's just enough the bowl holds enough for a little nug put the nug in there and you can carry it in your pocket because there's a lid ah and then when you when one uh hit it you just hit the lighter and you got a hit oh i've seen one of those before it has like a little metal lid yeah it slides over to the side yeah those are pretty cool oh yeah they're very nice yeah nice little contraption all contained well the old one hitters used to be chong's choice right there kapow yeah that's the challenge oh that's the that's a different thing that's something the genius pipe ah genius genius that's incredible incredible what does that do well it cools the smoke see from the bowl to the to the the mouthpiece the mouthpiece the whole thing is is dimpled inside and so the smoke goes through all this the dimples and it cools it off it cools it off sort of like ice water in a bong yeah yeah better better better oh it's it's so smooth yeah i'll cough just thinking about it but you do the genius pipe and it's just so cool do you get all these kids are dabbing and using wax and i watch do you ever go to cypress hills instagram page i get [ __ ]
i get anxiety just watching their videos like how high are you getting because they play i want to get high so high and you're watching the video and you're like oh my god i can't do this i can't even watch this i know they're scooping that yellow wax in there oh they go they go so deep these kids today rather [ __ ] mind they're heating up glass and dropping the thc into the glass like i was at one one dispens tree and the guy was so proud he handed me a big jar of shatter you know the dab stuff and i pretended like oh it's a gift oh thanks and i put it in that box and i walked away and the guys was just it dropped yeah it was probably a lot of money for that stuff oh it was it was like a year's worth of debt oh my god and i kept it long enough to make him nervous and then yeah you know in canada we had to deal with hash a lot and it's okay but it's a little bit too harsh hash is harsh yeah yeah the high is interesting though yeah yeah it's it's intense high how do you feel about edibles i love them to sleep on i love them the chocolate i got you is what uh my wife and i both use oh yeah we'll wake up in the middle of the night instead of you know fussing and fighting or you know thinking about it we just go and get a little little chocolate thing it's delicious chocolate too it's de fancy chocolate and it's it's the best thing and you just sleep not only i slept last night but i had a couple of epiphanies yeah that just blew my mind what how art is going to save the world art is going to save the world yeah how's that well you look at history the pyramids that was art that was an art piece
and what happens when you when you have big huge art pieces like that you create employment and it's not war so you're not fighting you're creating and so the people that that uh care for the animals the people that have to feed the the mass of people that have to work on getting those rocks carving those rocks everything else it creates employment and it and it also creates tourism and so you you when you have a piece of art everybody wants to come and look at it and so that's what we need in the world today you see and we not only need art but we need functional art because that's what the pyramids were they were functional and a lot of people think it was the uh the astronauts you mean aliens the aliens which which could very well be do you really think so oh sure for sure for sure why do you think that well because there's nothing new in the universe you know we've had space flights we've had all that stuff forever but you have chong's choice cooler pipe yeah that genius pipe that's new in the universe that's that's no it's it's probably rehashed probably somewhere in the world or somewhere yeah right so no in the universe oh you talk about you want to talk about pot to chinese india sure all all religions what makes you think that aliens built the pyramids though they could have been really i think aliens are just humans you know that because if they're wearing spacesuits if they're aliens why do they need a spacesuit unless they come from another uh atmosphere i i personally believe that earth is the only planet in this universe and the reason i believe that is that there are countless universes like space is endless and so space is endless why why wouldn't we have our own universe okay so you think that earth is the only planet in this universe yes but what about mars well it's a dead planet
okay so earth is the only live planet the only planet with life in this whole universe yeah so you think that there's multiple universes or infinite numbers of universes yes and each universe probably has an earth or two or two but you think this whole universe of hundreds of billions of galaxies each with hundreds of billions of solar systems could be there's only one planet it could be because we have the space so the only you mean by one planet one planet with life yes but intelligently but why wouldn't you think that there's if because it's so big why wouldn't you think there could possibly be other life other places why couldn't it be the other way why couldn't we be the only ones we could be that's what i'm saying we totally could be so so there's no reason for me see see that's why i have people trouble with people that are afraid of ai you know artificial intelligence yeah i think so silly because well because they're smart they're smart enough to know that they're not going to enslave anybody or torture anybody or take over anything no only dummies do that stuff because when you capture something you know what you capture well their problems whatever their problems are unless you extend you extinguish them yeah for what reason well the people are just destroying the earth they're polluting the rivers they're sucking all the fish out of the sea there's no this sky is filled with carbon the artificial life is going to be like you know what the real problem is these goddamn people they're dirty little litterers they're choking squirrels see that's the paranoid look at it look at the positive look at him what's the positive well first of all you have to remember we live in a physical universe okay for every action there's a reaction so for every good there's a bad nothing explains trump more than for every obama there's a trump you know what i'm saying okay so there's no limit to how ignorant you can be and there's no limit to how smart you can be there's no limit
and so when you go up the scale to the intelligence scale then then you realize that there's no reason for to be paranoid about anything because if you it's all written out in all the holy books written it out you know especially uh the bible see the bible has been misconstrued by so many people because what they do they take it to what's going to suit their purposes and then but to really interpret the bible it's written in code it's written it's a secret code the bible yeah it's metaphysical terms it's not physical terms or metaphysical terms what do you know about the bible in code like there's a writer called emmett fox should get into him yeah he he deciphers the whole bible does he decide for the ancient hebrew version of the bible or the greek version of the bible latin all the virgins right but i mean it all comes from ancient hebrew and when you translate things from ancient hebrew yes you know ancient hebrew the letters also double as numbers sure yeah and and and see see with the people i read there's another uh mystic that i read a lot mystic why's mystic you know or you know he's not he his name is joel s goldsmith i i discovered him a long time ago but i discovered him in jail it's a very popular book in jail and goldsmith look him up he's all on the on the computers and everything else check him out you'll really really enjoy it give me a new perspective because what he maintains it's all written in like i say in the bible eternity see there's no beginning and no end that explains everything to me because if there's no beginning to no end what can will can happen will happen you know and because
this again this is my my theory is in the physical world we have to learn everything that's why everything's physical like the first thing when you're born you have to learn how to breathe you have to learn how to walk you have to learn how to eat these are all skills that you have to literally learn right and mothers and everything teach you you that and then when you reach a certain age uh you leave the planet you know at least your soul your spirit and the body the body stays the body's just a vehicle and so because of eternity this goes on and on and on and on forever it never stops what we do as humans we're learning we're we're creatures of we're we're all students whether we want to be or not you know i i was trying to explain this to my one son because my youngest son is a bit uh he's a musician you know and and i and i try to understand that he's a musician and uh you know musicians aren't that uh you know they're not entrepreneurial as as some people would like him to be but anyway everybody's here to learn a certain task and some of us are blessed and to the point like me i'm blessed i'm very blessed because uh i've been given uh the ability to to to do what i do and to see what i see and say what i say you know it doesn't come from me it comes from you know the the source what i call the source and and that's why i could turn prison into a religious retreat because it's like a monk going you know into hiatus for for nine months you just had a thought in your head that you're going to treat it like a religious retreat yeah and you learn about yourself and educate yourself read all the books take advantage of your solitude because that's very important when you
get a chance to be alone man that's very important time because that's when you connect with the the the spiritual your spiritual teacher how must it must have felt so good to be released though in a way there was a lot of sadness really yeah yeah i never looked as good as when i got released man uh one of the because one of the inmates there you know he was a barber he spent two hours cutting my hair perfect chicano you know just perfect i come out my my wife shelby looked at me whoa that's the best haircut you've ever had everything was it was perfect we exercise it in jail oh that's all you do you walk at night there's a track and you can walk miles around the track and the whole prison's out there walking around and walking around that's when you socialize you talk and everything else to people and that and they all group together and i learned games i learned how to play bocce ball learned i played pool and then i sang i i had a little area where i had my own private studio it was an entrance to the pool hall and i'd sit in there and the echo was perfect you guys had a pool hall oh yeah we had tennis courts pool sounds like a great time it was it was telling you other than not being able to leave and even then if you wanted to leave why would you want to leave i mean it was perfect so you think that's why people go back to jail i totally get released totally i saw one guy who it was sad he was crying but he was sitting there crying and i said what's wrong he gets released next month and he was a junkie and he knew that as soon as he hit the street he was going to die he was going to die you know and he did as soon as he hit the street he died but he was he was funny he was they had a little game that when they opened the dormitory uh the first few people to hit the mess hall got to order eggs any way they
wanted like over easy or sunny side up whatever and so he'd be he'd get all anxious he'd be the first guy in line and if you kind of get getting ready to throw the doors open man he'd do and you couldn't run you had to walk and so he learned that this walk fast he'd walk real fast and and he was he was a delight but when he got released he he took his own life so yeah i hung his own life with heroin or probably yeah that was probably it was it was he just couldn't help himself once again well see you know everybody's worried about socialism well america is the biggest socialist country in the world yeah yeah we've got more people in jail than anywhere else in the world and what's what is what what happens in jail cradle to grave you're fed you're closed you're told what to wear you're told what to wait to you're allowed to study certain things you're totally controlled medical you've got free medical there are prisoners that would go to jail so they get their open heart surgery because the federal law mandate said if you have something wrong with you they have to fix it and so there were prisoners that would break the law so they could get in to get their open heart surgery wow yeah that's crazy man that's some next level thinking yeah i'm gonna go to jail so i can get open heart surgery yeah yeah what did what did they prevent you from reading any books was there anything that was like could you order whatever you wanted they they had a it was weird they had a thing about they would take covers off magazines and and you know the subscription cards they would take that out because people uh on the outside would dose them with the asset lsd and ship the books in there and then
next thing you know half a dorm would be you're tripping on acid because they're eating pieces of the subscription paper the paper yeah and that that kind of stuff always went on but as far as uh now you could read whatever you wanted basically you know but i i read a lot of books at it you know i i was meaning to read you know and i helped a lot of people uh i would do the iching you know the e-chain sure yeah i would do the iching you know how to do that on the indian grounds oh yeah yeah it's really easy yeah throw the coins it's really head details yeah well it's supposedly it's some sort of uh like future reading yeah thing right do you think it works oh yeah what does it tell you well first time i did it yeah i rolled it i did uh my explain to people how it works well what it is you get three coins and and you you throw the three coins in it and you get numbers from six to nine and anything in between six seven six eight nine i think it's something like that anyway uh each number tells you what line you're you're going to read and you throw it three times and you write down and then you get a sort of like a a plan of where what page you're supposed to look at and then when you get the page uh then it tells you you know but what you're asking it because you got to ask the itching for what for something you know and it will answer it it'll answer you it's for instance i threw mine when i did it i threw it and the first line said you are in jail for a reason whoa how does it say that it just said it when it says it hell is it what do you translate you write it you read it it's been written in that book for centuries that line is in the in that book for centuries really 3000 years something like that and so i read it because still they still talk about chariots and kings and queens everything that was the first sign you are in jail for a reason
jails are corrective institutions that will correct your uh uh behavior that's what the e-chain is telling you that's what the itching well what they did they updated it the girls that wrote it they updated it to the modern time you know it's i think it's armstrong it's the girls that that there are a couple of girls that wrote it's a big thick book but it hits it and then went on there and another guy mike this this uh chicano he saw me thought he thought it was a game so he's all set for the game what are you playing i said no i'm doing the e-chain i said you want me to do you and he said yeah so i did his and it's very polite not to read the readings of the other guy you know let him read it first and so i i did the numbers and and i gave it to him and he read it and he just handed me the book and he went and sat on his bunk and he just stared and so then i read what what what it said and he a month before he lost his wife and and child in a car accident they were coming out to visit him and the iching said you suffered a great misfortune oh it was like dead on wow and the itching goes on to tell you you know what to do and and you know this is next month is going to be tough this month's going to be good you know and we see hope for you it's like astrology it's almost the same well i know terence mckenna was really into it he's really into the itching and he thought it was some sort of a map of time he was trying to figure out what it was and how it worked and why i can predict things and if you mess with it it'll it'll tell you you're messing with [ __ ] with it like let's see board you know sometimes if you do the ouija board same thing and if you start making it a game you know let's ask this let's ask that who's going to win the race tomorrow and that and and right
away the chain catches that and knows your real feelings and it tells you you know tell you don't don't do that what do you think it is it's a chinese it's a methodology i think what it is it's a spiritual way of communicating this remembering ghost where uh patrick swayze had to learn how to move a coin remember that yeah the spirits especially spiritual people they're around us and so you give them a chance to communicate with you because they know all they will communicate and so the chain gives the spirits a chance to communicate so when you throw a coin they know what what what heads or tails or whatever it is numbers that you need to read to to talk to you right and that's that's my theory gotta try it man yeah i'm curious because i do know that many people have used it to try to figure out what their life is about yeah what they're doing with their life and the weirdest thing about it is they they seem to find some real answers in it and they keep them to themselves yeah but the the idea that i had heard that made the most sense was that the way the world works is not as simple and as easy as one plus one equals two left right left right walk down the road but that there's intention and thought that also helps formulate our universe and what the eaching does is it somehow clarifies intention and thought and it clarifies like the the actual your actual the actual process is going on in your mind and it it quantifies it and puts it into uh like a way that you can read your effect on life and life's effect on you in this and then it reads it somehow or another even though it doesn't make any sense well it's a massive divination it's a method of discovering what's happening yeah it's a method of communicating with the spirit world you think that's what it is oh yeah oh yeah
and and the thing is getting back to the ai the artificial intelligence uh that we we already use artificial intelligence in our lives every day like alexa is a good example that [ __ ] yeah i love her i love her siri she never steered me wrong yet you know she told me i've asked the wrong questions right but i i see this my theory is that that we are everybody in the universe wants us and the spirits they want us to be enlightened you know because the more enlightened we are the more we can enjoy what we what what we've inherited because when you're born into this world you're you you've inherited you've taken it for granted a kingdom amazing yeah you've inherited especially in comparison to the rest of time all the human history this is the greatest time the greatest most it's unfortunate so i'm saying look at us look at look what we got now going for us now and how much effort did that take you know it was like being part of a team and and so when you're ready boom you're you're pushed out in front you're up there and so you know our our duty as as as students is to learn everything we can learn and to teach whatever we can teach you know and that's why there should be no paranoia because we're not here long enough so that being rich or being poor makes any kind of a difference you know because you know yourself i mean what do you really need in this life right you know what do you really need water food companionship love yeah friends yeah yeah and something interesting that you like to do yeah because i i i've been hanging with billionaires now and what have you been doing with them you know just hanging out you know they they they like me because i i i get recognized everywhere i go and so so it sort of uh it's like uh you know walking around
famous guy yeah you can get into restaurants and for the most part they're they're hard working very you know like it's a lot of burdens being rich a lot of burdens and and you know just with me you know it's like instead of owning a boat i'd rather know a guy that owns a boat definitely you don't have to deal with any of the maintenance that's right that's true i like to be free i like to be totally free yeah yeah that's the reality of i mean if you want to have a big giant crazy business you're going to have a lot of employees you're going to have a lot of problems you have to deal with and you're the last guy to get paid yeah yeah and you're the last guy that goes home yeah everybody else forgets what they're doing as soon as they walk out that door and you're all those problems are in your butt yeah yeah that's true i went through that i had two night clubs at one time but i never bothered with the money part at all i just i just worried about the stage and the mic was working and then where was us in vancouver when how long ago was this this was 60s in the city yeah you had nightclubs like comedy clubs or like well one one was an after hours sort of like a jazz dance bottle club and it was given to me see there again you know hey hey tommy you want a club and i said sure the guy give you a club yeah well he bought a building and back and then back in the day you know there was a steakhouse in the basement he says yeah the cheers pay rent when when you can what so i went in what was this guy's deal he owned buildings most people that own buildings don't be giving them away oh yeah what'd they do we rent free rent you saw them all the time you can get a year's free rent
just because they want to get someone in the building you get it you get it going see as soon as we started being successful we were paying uh 500 a month rent so he got you going so we we made a ton of money in there and that's where i i got the bands you know that's where i honed my skills as a musician and singer and and all that and then i got offered another club because it was going under and it was a dine and dance club in chinatown and i thought yeah i'd make a great strip club and so so we we took it over the shanghai junk turned it into a strip club vancouver's first strip club and then you were the proprietor of vancouver's first ever first strip club for this one and in fact we did uh in fact we did a a midnight mass at a church uh i think we had the stripper dancing at the church but not stripping she kept her clothes on she danced well that's appropriate yeah yeah you gotta you get you there's a line when did you when did you start getting into live shows well when uh i got fired from motown uh because i had to get a green card and n nobody at motown knew what a green card was and so i had to miss a gig uh to to get my green card i got the green card and i came back and i got fired and so then barry gordy found out about it he said oh you're not fired i said i think i'll stay fired i'm going to be a barry gordy i don't want to work for one and so then i came out to out to l.a and tried to live on the beach and be a songwriter but then my clubs were calling me because they needed help so i went back and i turned the strip club into an improvisational club so we're doing naked it was great man all the girls and they were actors they're strippers and once i turned them into actresses they were a lot cheaper and they're a lot more beautiful they talked they did skits and then they would take
off their clothes when they had to you know within within you know the the script and that's where i met cheech because we had a straight guy and the straight guy's wife found out what he was doing and hauled them away and then chase came on board as a straight guy and then when when he was in vancouver yeah in vancouver yeah but cheech was an la guy right yeah he was up there in case of viet cong attacked from alaska [Laughter] so he was hiding from the draft well not really he well not really he was trying to stay out of the way yeah let's put it down good move and then then he he he had a sneak back into l.a really yeah but it was easy coming into la from canada he just showed someone else's id and they said back in the day yeah the world was a lot slipperier yeah and that's so that's why i'm saying i i'm so blessed you know because everything the universe you know and it was from the e-chain started uh one of the guitar players turned me on to the e-ching back then and and my reading was perfection you're going to be everything's perfect you're going to really do well and then cheech and chong and all that stuff happen and here we are and you guys are touring again yeah right how long you've been torn again when did you guys get back together oh eight oh eight yeah 11 years how crazy is that that that's 11 years ago that doesn't seem like 11 years ago we say oh wait it's like uh it just happened and you're like oh no no it's 2019. it's almost 2020. no i know that that trade keeps the ruling it just never stops what is this jamie this is uh bobby taylor in the vancouver's whoa that's me that's you yeah how old were you there twenty bobby taylor in the vancouver's kind of sunglasses yeah they did it even back then wow bobby taylor in the vancouver that's the motel on sunset strip is that you with the yellow jacket which
ones yeah yeah yeah yeah that's you yeah that's me wow that's crazy then we we went over to england met jimi hendrix wow and changed our lives this way we looked when we went over there and we come back long hair everybody wore different clothes wow now when you went from this to comedy yeah like how did you make that leap well nobody really knew that i could talk you know i was in a black band so everybody else you know i was a guitar player so you know i had nothing to say other than i owned the club you know and no one knew that no one knew that i was always a backup guitar player when i got into comedy well was doing what happened i had hired when i turned the strip club into a improv club improvisation club i hired the act we already had which was a black tap dancer named taps harris and jeannie a black singer and they had a band and so i the first skit i had tap the first skit was about a pajama party that all the strippers were having at their house after and so they all changed into their pajamas and in their little 90s and that was very sexy and then taps came comes by after the show you know so-called and and they say hey taps do that number that you did on the show and so taps first time he ever tap danced you know in front of a live audience because usually he was just an mc so he did his tap dance and then and it was so good that everybody wanted the encore so they made him do an encore he quit that night really it was too hard work man he was hired to just and here comes lolo and so the doorman a little english guy named dave and so i said dave i need uh an emcee you know he said well i'll do it if you do it and so i oh okay and so we became dave was my first partner and so we started we had
long hair we were like hippies and so we we we did a lot of hippies and tna jokes you know tits and ass jokes and uh and then then and we had a guitar player named gay delorme he wrote the the our big hit you know that hearing my eye he wrote the music and so gabe was this incredible guitarist and he could do also but he was a very funny funny funny guy and so we wrote a skit you know where we would torture the audience they're all biker mostly bikers you know come to a strip bar you know bikers and that and so the first act we had because when we turned it into a theater company we attracted all the theater people all the performers you know there's a stage oh boy we'll go work there and so we had a mime artist and so we opened the show with a mime artist and gay playing classical guitar he's playing this classical guitar now this is a strip joint and all the hardened bikers are sitting around waiting for naked girls to come out and here comes here comes a mime artist you know so pretending he's picking flowers and smelling them and showing them prancing around the stage and and so the bikers sat through that you know they were yelling things like hey elvis their remarks weren't that funny and then and then dave would come out and dave's a very funny looking guy he looks like a looks like an improv actor and he come out and he and he sings this horrible song i dream of genie with the light brown hair genie is my favorite wired hair terrier and then just when the bikers are getting ready to revolt i opened i kicked the door open we had doors on the back you know and i kicked the door open and i and my shirtless my hair's messed up and i got a rolled up newspaper and i walk over to dave i go what kind of [ __ ] song is that i beat him to death with this newspaper and the bikers just explode the whole joint just exploded you know laughter because we had we created that tension
that long and then released the release was like it's a roar and then the word went out boom and that that place was packed almost every night wow what a weird world it must have been back then look at this the city works yeah there we are there's dave satirical sexy at the shanghai there's cheech in the super right wow that's cheech that's crazy that's cheech that's dave that's me wow without a without a goatee and that's my martyr says ian the miami artist and it's windy maureen and shirley wow what a weird world is it crazy looking at that oh yeah wow memories huh wow that was the first the strip joint starting tuesday yeah yeah wow the police were there everybody and when did you start doing albums with cheech uh 71. how'd that all take place well we came to l.a in 70 and we struggled when all the places we could we could work then we started being a regular at the uh troubadour they had hootenanny night sunday night what's that mean what's hoot nanny though is when folk singers would get on stage and sing and sing a song hootenanny the hoot nanny knight and so all the singers would sing and you know and so we would get up and do comedy and of course we became regulars you know in fact uh troubadour would phone us up and say are you guys coming you know because they had a lot of uh requests and how did it turn into this weed-based comedy well it was the only thing that worked in this audience the weed see where the city works without tna you know right but when we got down here we had to go right for the stoners because that was what was going on you know and so we played a club in uh resida irma hotel that was what it was called and it was owned by a
crazy big fan he saw us work somewhere and so he hired us for two nights and and the first night first night we uh had to do two shows but it was a dance club and so the dancers had to stop dancing sit down and watch us do a show and and that was not a good combination so the first show didn't go very well because we were doing tna stuff and it just didn't go over and so the second show i teach and i got together and i teach come on man you're from here there must be a character you can do the night before that we were standing outside and and uh this low rider pulls up and he goes hey man you tell me how to get to resida boulevard and she says oh you're on it you go oh thanks man and he drove away and it was that character and chief says yeah well yeah we can do that character and then i showed him the the car bit that's an old black uh comedian showed me a sheer pineapple he showed me this old taking a girl out on a date and he'd just make the car up here by pretending to wash it and wax you know just do the mime and the car would appear and then cheech got in the car and he's driving and then he goes hey red freak one or right man and then i would come out and we'd do our our skits and and it went over really well as soon as we started doing you know weed and and pills and stuff like that everybody related so you feel like you had that and then you just ran with it oh yeah yeah and then we just improved improved improved improve and so when we met lou athersoz and we never thought about doing a record until we went to meet in his office and he's got gold records over all over the place and we said yeah we could i'm gonna do a record you know i was a big lenny bruce fan anyway because when i got high the first time i the guy gave me a joint and a lenny bruce record it's good insulation so i studied that record for months and so that was ingrained in my head and so then when we started doing the first bit we did
was an accident a cheech got locked outside the the mixed down room that we were in la brea you know old charlie chapman studio and it was a little courtyard that where the sun was beating down it was like noon and it was hot and cheech is a method actor and he had it put on all the costumes you know to get into character so he's got all these costumes on he knocks on the door and i was working the tape recorder and i and when he knocked i looked up at the door and i didn't see if the needle moved or not and so when he knocked i didn't answer and then he knocked again and i saw the needle moved and so i said who is it and i was supposed to just open the door and let him in and so there's a pause it's me man it's me let me in come on man so then is that where dave's not here came from yeah so i waited then he knocked again in a long pause the pause who is it and he's getting mad come on man it's me i think the cops saw me come on oh no you know they went in the character then then i just wait wait wait he's waiting for me to open the door then he knocked again and then when he finally goes it's me dave man dave i said dave and he goes yeah i go dave's not here he blew it kicking the door screaming open the door you almost punched me and but i said listen listen listen we we played it back and then lou heard it we recorded it not as funny but we recorded it and next day it was all over america choo choo chung was born wow and then how long after that you start doing movies seven years 78 we started doing the movies because i i got tired of going to australia did you guys get accused of promoting pot oh yeah like did you get like accused like you you guys are a bad influence oh yeah the youth and what was that like yeah it was nothing really it was more publicity basically you know
you know it's just people you know you know what really got what really i noticed anyway it was the uh the comedy establishment the the committee and the second city and all those guys they hated us really hated us why except bellucci blue she was the only one that loved us because belushi was young enough that he heard our records and it influenced him but these other guys like um what's his name can't even think of his name now maybe it's better i don't even name him but they they howard hesman he he was one of the committee members you know you know wkrp in cincinnati sure he was a big and and i got influenced by him big time because i saw him doing the committee in in san francisco and they had a top notch uh improv group there and they were incredible and that's where i got the inspiration to go up and turn the strip club into a improvisational club because i love improv but why didn't those guys like you what was because we were successful we took what they were doing and took it out of that that snotty uh seattle co2 you know i'm so i'm so evolved theatrically you know that who does records you know that kind of thing and next thing you know records were bad back then well they ended up trying to do a record but they had they had no clue you know like see i'm a fighter man i've been in the trenches forever you know i've been playing black clubs as long as i can remember and so i seen a lot of humor a lot of the stand-up comics you know red fox was a real good friend of mine did you ever do his comedy club yes yeah yeah did you ever ever hear those richard pryor tapes from the red fox's comedy club they would record him like doing his workouts outs [ __ ] amazing stuff oh amazing oh yeah richard and richard was a big friend big fan now see we had fans like that but when cheech and i did the comedy store after up and smoke
we broke up with lou we're broke we we had a hit movie with no money nothing couldn't tell you what happened they stole your money with lou yeah who's lou lou adler okay he's the producer and director of up and smoke and although i wrote uh wrote it and and directed most of it and especially the ending uh i i directed it i i like again like again like i said before i'm not into into the money part of it but how were you guys broke well we weren't getting any money uh from our live because we had to stop touring because of the movie and so we had no touring money coming in right and so and then we got paid about you know a little bit of on the movie but nothing compared to what we were making on the road and uh but it was a hugely successful movie right totally totally but that's what it is giant just to just they took all the money yeah yeah they did i mean we got we get drips and jabs at the end of the accounting yeah the hollywood accounting yeah at the end of the period of you know when you forget when you've gone on to something else and you get a check oh oh that's nice yeah but so cheech and i went to the comedy store to get our act again and richard pryor helped us off the stage we had about five sold out shows paula shore was a little guy up in the light booth and watching us because he was too young to be in the in the crowd and as we walked up the stage the first night richard he held out his hand it was the greatest compliment ever wow that must have been incredible it was listen man you had an amazing life you really have it's uh the e-chain was correct oh yeah it's worked out incredible i gotta find a professional you gotta get them to come in and read us to each hang somebody really knows their [ __ ] do it it's easy read it there's a one called uh arms the armstrong version i'll i'll text it to you okay and uh just read you know hey
listen if i can follow instructions anybody well listen brother it's a pleasure having you on uh tell people about your weed child's choice we're gonna get it dispensaries everywhere it's our website yeah there's websites there is actually the fun is finding chong's choice because we are so uh elite as far as uh the testing and the purity of the product that it's very rare that certain uh dispensaries have it and a lot of dispensaries don't and they'll try to sell you something else but don't settle for less man chong's choice is the best chocolate chips ladies and gentlemen it's way better than cheech's privates how dare you no no teachers i mean it's okay but it's mexican you know well thank you sir thanks for coming on here man it's always a pleasure my pleasure john an honor thank you tommy chong ladies and gentlemen