Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6g5UqgSdA9o
[Music] boom ian edwards ever the contrarian shows up with an android phone drinking tea against the sun you just followed no rules still vegan baby you had some french fries with david lee roth that were made with clearly an animal uh jamie you were there what did you see i saw a french fryer too yeah disappeared in my life you listened to the mgm steakhouse they ain't cooking that [ __ ] those french fries anything other than animal fat guaranteed they're too delicious i didn't see it i didn't see it even at mcdonald's if you get mcdonald's fries apparently they cook them in some [ __ ] disgusting fat well that's what makes them taste so good what does make mcdonald's fries taste good they're pretty good but they're not my favorite i don't know i get confused when people say they're better than in and out fries i like fries that taste like potatoes oh yeah either in and out fries are far superior i don't like fries that tastes like potatoes this is the most upset i've never seen jamie in all my years working with him i don't know fries better than mcdonald's i do personally feel you know who i had beef with that about candy alexander from uh news radio she was the first person to like we went and got in and out like for the whole the whole group of us and um uh she got mcdonald's fries she went and got mcdonald's why'd you get mcdonald's fries she was like [ __ ] those [ __ ] fries those in-n-out fries i'm like what i didn't understand they can be okay but they're so hit or miss that they can miss bad to me they're remarkably consistent they always taste like pictures what are we discussing here fries are muck it's like wine remarkedly well still they can't [ __ ] with five guys fries five guys are the king of fries yes they have two options yeah they have they're real they have the [ __ ] potatoes and bags sitting in their goddamn store just to let you know [ __ ] we're using these potatoes and then they
take that bag and shake it in there and cut it up um they have cajun fries so they win you have another option you got spicy fries that are goddamn delicious might have to stop by there and then you don't have to crack packets to get your ketchup they have a giant tub of the ketchup you squirt that [ __ ] in a nice little cup a little paper cup you could shower and have that in ketchup if mcdonald's had that homeless people would be under it and squirt mustard in their mouth i'll tell you what man since um starbucks got in trouble for being racist um there's a lot more homeless people at starbucks like they understand that they could just go there it's really it's really odd that's so funny they get kicked out they can't get kicked out everybody's afraid dude it's uh it's a hundred percent different 100 different in some spots like which ones are you going because the ones in hollywood they know how to handle it for the most part yeah locks and everything i went to a shifty one in downtown where uh they they don't even have a bathroom like how are you serving coffee you don't have a bathroom coffee makes you [ __ ] and pissed yeah this is ridiculous but i realized they didn't have a bathroom because the homeless people there was homeless people that had like this guy had a port and he was charging all of his devices he had everything he had like a phone a [ __ ] ipad a long night ahead of him but they get free electricity there and they so he's got like a bag of his stuff like he's got a little camp in the corner of the starbucks i'm like wow on one hand like hey how's the guy supposed to get some electricity i want him to get back up on his feet maybe this is the way to do it maybe it's through that ipad on the other hand like hey don't give me a disease you [ __ ] i got uh this instagram account yesterday street people of los angeles which has got some very interesting content is that a naked person yes it is naked person just changing on the street changing on the street that was actually in san francisco i think i remember
checking that post but wow this has got some interesting stuff these guys were like cooking underneath the tree on a lot with like a live grill right somewhere but there's a tommy's in hollywood sorry go ahead thomas and uh there's always like a bunch of young homeless people cooking in front of it like there's a bus stop they have a lit fire like caveman like like like fear of the walking dead style campfire like outside of the tommies on hollywood boulevard like on a daily basis how weird it's just weird that that's okay like if you just wanted to start a fire on the side of the road would that be okay no no but can you start a fire to cook apparently can you or did they just not get busted probably need a permit yeah we think you need something like uh to be like a grill uh street vendor type permit if you wanted to sell what if you just wanted to give food away you can't do that you can't but you can eat it yourself i don't know can you offer something it seems like you could offer it to somebody like you know if they allow you to cook and you and i were sitting there and we're cooking and i said would you like some and you said sure it looks good that should be okay it's like a donation uh some places they don't charge you to get in but they accept a donation but what if you plan in advance you say hey all of us meet on the corner of third and santa monica i'm going to have a cookout house oh no no no no it's hilarious we're just setting up right here on the concrete yeah those dude people should just go to a park that has those grills like griffith park is not far right griffith park is like people with homes cooked there yeah they got free grills yeah you could just do it up there anybody can cook there yeah that is one of the nicest parts of la by the way and if people don't know that is a [ __ ] wildlife area that's a legit wildlife area there is a real predator prey [ __ ] law of the jungle thing going down right now in griffith park it's
mountain lions and deer yeah and it's going down and kind of every day and coyotes you are doing all your stuff it's a really amazing place right because here we are we got pasadena and glendale and burbank and l.a you know beautiful [ __ ] bmw's driving by everything's cool people are jogging they got ear pods in they're jogging in griffith's park they're jogging right near a war zone yeah it's a war zone which is rustling sometimes because i live around the corner and i'm like [ __ ] dude like i'm i'm on i'm stay paying attention 100 we got a giant framed picture headed to the studio of this mountain lion that was photographed by a camera trap you know what a camera trap is no um they set them up to monitor the numbers of wildlife and to just try to get an accurate assessment of what's in the area so what it is is like a camera that's the photo it's a camera that operates on uh motion detection so as this cat this probably hundred and fifty pound super muscular grown ass mountain lion with a [ __ ] collar on his neck his name is p22 that's what it said to say up there it's about 119 pounds as of may okay so it's not quite that big so it's still big enough to kill everyone in this room if it's in the room with us we're [ __ ] yeah but look how muscular it is i mean that is a look at the size of its goddamn forearms those are franco colombo forearms that is a terrifying animal and that animal lives around where all these people are jogging it's a really strange situation yeah i'm never going to griffith park again [ __ ] that it's a great park oh yeah don't [ __ ] with people till i saw p125 i'm out stay in my house bro look at the hollywood sign behind it though it's so perfect it's almost like a fake picture that is so close to me yes very close to you i went to the park i'm like a block and a half away from that joint dude i run with a knife oh yeah i do i run with uh this [ __ ] half face blades knife it's called the s-h-p-o-s sub-human piece of [ __ ] that's what the
the name of the knife is the same same easy one here jesus christ so they caught him here with look at that he's got blood and bones he's eating something that must be like a deer leg [ __ ] a that is madness and he's digging a hole in the ground to stuff it in there to save it [ __ ] man because you know what the deer around there are really comfortable yeah but that could be a kid man right 100 could be a kid but i know why he's there because the deer in that neighborhood like they walk around in the daytime like they're tourists too because there's no hunting around there so they're like all comfortable and [ __ ] people probably feed them too yeah so then now the line that's like oh let me track these [ __ ] over to this area and i'll just have a feast it's a buffet night look at this [ __ ] it's a mulholland drive there's an animal hauling drive there's a grown-ass mountain lion with a collar on that's got a giant deer on the ground a buck not giant it's probably a hundred pound deer on the ground dead on the on the side on the side of the city street this is a civilization civilization and this is a cat that's killing deer with its face that's where we live and not only that we know where it is we have a collar on it we're playing this game you don't [ __ ] with us we won't [ __ ] with you and they won't [ __ ] with you for the most part the problem comes when they get old when they get old they get real dangerous because they get desperate they can't catch a deer anymore so they go for the easy kill go for people right people are easy right yeah i mean your kids are easy i'm gonna go hiking with somebody slow got to move yeah go hiking with a small slow person someone who just doesn't look like a challenge at all hey man survival of the fitness go smoking with someone who's you're smoking the meat makes it more attractive it's hilarious what we eat affects how we taste it's got it right so maybe maybe like people who are in really into junk food they'd be more attractive they have a sweet taste to them yeah
i bet right if you just eat candy all day i bet you taste delicious yeah the human skittle attack the human skittle over here leave me alone that [ __ ] cat is so big man imagine just seeing a 115 pound cat in the room with you you'd be like oh jesus christ like my dog is probably maybe 75 80 pounds somewhere in that range he's not a marshall yeah and if he wanted to kill me he probably could right i mean he's a golden retriever they don't kill anything other than squirrels but if he wanted to i mean i don't know if he had that mentality he really was like crazed like like 28 days later he got that rage virus in him and he just went after me he's got giant ass [ __ ] teeth right i mean i assume that i would kick his ass because he listens to me right because i'm his daddy you know what i mean like there's no he's never i've had pit bulls that growl at you a little bit and you gotta kind of like hey [ __ ] i'm the one who gives you your food cut the [ __ ] and then they'll give you their paw and then they're sorry you play a little game with them a little dominance game especially when they're teenagers and then like one and a half two years old they'll test you just to ch because it's natural for them right it's natural for dogs goldens don't ever do that he don't growl at anybody they're just obedient he's great worst guard dog of all time you come over everybody he loves everybody he loves you i love he he loves people like he's never like not not like he's never met them but like he can't believe he hasn't seen them in so long it's like a long lost they're long-lost friends everyone's a long-lost friend everyone everyone is a long-lost friend it is what it's like with him he's such a love sponge i would i would be jealous if i if that's my dog i'm like so i'm not special yes just that [ __ ] that's how dogs are like really friendly dogs every new person is another opportunity for a new person to love them too and so they get so excited to meet people smart dude when people come over the house he's so hilarious everybody he loves everybody like i can't believe it's you
and they're like i've never even met your daughter it's like that's you this is amazing and he just starts whining and running around in circles it's hilarious but if you wanted to you're probably killing me i mean if a rat was that big i would [ __ ] put my money on the rat and the right right and dogs dogs kill rats all the time even those little dogs like jack russell's those little tiny dogs those are designed to kill rats hilarious my ex had a dog right and i was holding the dog so and she got into a car right across the street and moved it and then got out the car and the dog acted like he didn't just see her jump in the car he acted like she went away for two days i was like she just went to she just moved the car across her you we watched her do it do you remember when we had uh uh mr foster aaron foster on the podcast and he was talking about being able to kill a wolf we had to fight one we had to correct him we had to go press stop just don't i know you're a beast but come on man we're people we're made out of like smush yeah everything's smushy it's also soft yeah yeah something that wants to bite your tit like if a wolf decided to bite your tit the amount of pain you'd be in would be unbearable i know you feel like one of those buns that they give you at the steak house that's what your flesh feels like exactly like a steakhouse bun bread look at his [ __ ] aaron foster spent four hours on twitter explaining why he'd beat a wolf one-on-one he's hilarious isn't he doing a podcast now yeah he's got his own podcast he started doing music which is really good he just released some music under i think bobby knows his name he's very he's a running back yeah he was really retired he hit a vegan running back he retired young and he's [ __ ] super smart man right just accept in control when it comes to yeah yeah when it comes to wolves i think he's trolling a little bit yeah he's having a little fun he's being smart there's like a wolf he could get not any wolf [Applause]
oh yeah yeah yeah he could [ __ ] up an old one a declawed one with no teeth a grandma wolf old one that doesn't have any endurance anymore it would be a battle though even then before we get too far off of this i just there's pictures on the google images sent me down this this is just north of the uh los angeles zoo so there's a i think this might even be that same trap we just saw so this chap cougar has some food it's eating and then next picture the bears show up to take it and now wait a minute they're eating the [ __ ] food instead of the cougar oh my god so this is near us this is 30 miles away or probably even closer so bear steal deer from cougars this is what happens when liberals run a state listen folks i'm liberal i'm with you i know a lot of you think i'm not there's a lot of knuckleheads out there that think i'm a part of the alt-right or something i vote left on [ __ ] everything but you you gotta stop anthropomorphizing animals we gotta be careful we i'm on team people i don't want these animals to die but i also don't want to go out to my [ __ ] swimming pool and see a bear in there and they they have that in pasadena have you seen that [ __ ] in pasadena this family went outside and there's a [ __ ] bear swimming around their pool they are bears in pasadena bro big ones where i was like a 200 pound bear swimming in this motherfucker's pool do i live here how do i know this [ __ ] not only that you gotta take over man if they decide that this is their spot look at this [ __ ] hilarious look there's a few of them it's got the whole family oh my god how many bears are in there three i think oh my god dude these are these things are no joke the problem with bears is too once they get a spot where they know they can get food or they can get water or they can get something they're going to come back to that spot they get habituated that's why they have a real problem with them with uh people at yellowstone used to feed them right you know people would pull in and then i actually did that or was there when that happened when i was a little kid i went to yellowstone my parents took me when i was probably like
seven or eight years old and i remember just thinking this is so crazy you're in your car and the bears are outside right they're right there they don't do it the same way anymore though now they discourage human bear interaction they just didn't understand it i think as well which is kind of crazy because that was not that long ago it was like in the 1970s but i i just don't understand people's like for ferocious animals like i don't want to kill them but i never want to feed something that could kill me well i think people have this really distorted idea of wildlife because of movies if you thought about like what the lion king is you would never want a lion to die you know lion is noble i mean sure there's a few bad ones but overall the lion king is the he's the sweetheart he's amazing you think about yogi bear and you think about teddy bears kids have teddy bears i mean we have this weird thing we take polar bears which is the most vicious of all bears and we have them be our friends selling us ice cream in coca-cola they're selling klondike bars yeah we cartoon them yeah and then people grow up watching these cartoons and think oh let me go pet this friendly thing yeah that was drawn but that's a i wish a ferocious beast yeah i wish it didn't have a history if we just thought of it as a thing like a wolverine right wolverines don't have any there's no one no one feels about a wolverine the same way they think about a bear because there's no like cute wolverines there's only the ones that you see in like uh you know x-men like the wolverine dudes this one yeah yeah but he's like a person his name's wolverine there's no like cute wolverines because they're so [ __ ] ferocious such a monster of a little animal one wolverine will [ __ ] up a big bear oh for real dude they're [ __ ] ruthless they chase wolves off food how big are wolverines not big man 40 pounds 50 pounds jeez they'll [ __ ] up everything they [ __ ] up everything everything runs away from them they're just ready to die all day all day ready to die and they're
super strong and durable for a little tiny thing you ever see you know what a wolverine looks like and now i think i don't blow up a wolverine bearing his facts it looks like a fake animal it's look like a super jacked little giant rat bear thing with fangs it's like a super it's like a super badger right badgers are yeah i know they're vicious [ __ ] vicious that's a wolverine jesus bro i mean look at the teeth on that thing look at its face and that's it's smiling yeah that's a good day those [ __ ] are ready to go to war all day make weird noises they're terrifying like if that thing wanted to kill you you would be [ __ ] look at those claws and the teeth now imagine that that thing is hyper aggressive and it's a predator [ __ ] that [ __ ] is built to survive [ __ ] man that is a crazy little animal they are ferocious and they they are ready to go at all times and they'll try to get the [ __ ] away from you the animal scientific me name means the glutton it's a pretty apt description four feet tall weighing 22 pounds for females and 40 pounds for males those fierce creatures are the largest members of the weasel family they're [ __ ] weasels bro a vicious weasel still they're small compared to some of the animals they compete with for food but a wolverine has no problem standing up to wolves or a bear when a meal is on the line isn't that crazy 40 pounds the way bears are to us is the way or we are the dogs you know like an 80-pound dog probably [ __ ] you up if you're 150-pound person that's how wolverines are the bears okay a 40-pound wolverine might [ __ ] up a 200-pound bear and bear's like damn this ain't worth it when i die i want to come back as a wolverine yeah it's a vicious ass animal they eat caribou they eat uh hares and rodents as well as larger animals like caribou that are weak or ill but will also scavenge from any carcass they can get their claws on they also eat vegetables and berries frozen meat isn't a deterrent their upper molar that sit sideways at 90
degrees lets them rip into ice-covered carcasses their teeth are so sharp and strong that they can even eat bones whoa damn once they got food they often bury it to save for later mere hours after a meal they'll go on the hunt again ferocious ferocious little [ __ ] ugly as [ __ ] too yeah so we don't have a cutie one of those right if we did we'd be like the wolverine hi mr wolverine hi kids i'm here to help you and guide you through the forest now they're here to eat your kids i'm waiting for some woman to bring on on a plane as a support wolverine oh yeah for sure yeah some crazy it's always a woman yeah and always one that's like over 50 and on all kinds of medication if you're a dude and you bring a wolverine on a plane they'll beat you we'll beat you guys um has a wolverine ever killed a person there's some women that'll get offended by that why does it have to always be in women is it you it's not you right right i'm not talking about you right why get in person why do we have to be gender specific you know what i'm saying like if if i'm saying oh it's probably a woman it doesn't mean he know women what it means is it's probably really a woman right yeah because because being honest because the peacock person that was a woman that was a woman and then the but in the p in the the defense of women a guy got an emotional support alligator recently there's a guy and he's an idiot but i hear about that and wonder how many of those people including the peacock lady are doing it just for attention because they know that people talk about it i think people that have like i saw this girl in in san diego la jolla she came to the restaurant with her micro pig that's not real you know that's not real they admit they made those yeah well the cummings explained it to me she adopted a pig and then kept it and then fed it and then drove some ungodly amount of time like two days to texas to drop it off at a pig sanctuary that's how crazy for animals whitney cummings is
so through whitney i learned that pigs are just pigs there's no micro pig it's just a pig that they don't feed oh for real for real so they just starved it and it just sits keep small getting big by not giving it a lot of food that's not cool pawning off on a sucker it's a pig exactly it's got to eat exactly it's a greedy little pig yeah i mean they're famous for getting fat that's what they love to do so they'll pawn it off on some person and then because they can't afford not to feed it no the person doesn't know any better they think they're getting a micropig oh it's gonna be small and cute forever no you're gonna have a thousand pound pig if you if you feed it everything it wants to eat is gonna keep growing he's like damn how did my pig grow it's it's a big there's no micro it's like micro people like if you look at people from like the civil war day they were almost 125 pounds why was that because they didn't have any [ __ ] food right the same guy today probably 200 pounds yeah with mcdonald's and all that stuff and everything in it oh yeah even just eating regular food right just like real like meat and potatoes and vegetables and [ __ ] you're not gonna be 125 pounds that guy was probably starving yeah they probably didn't have three meals a day back in the civil war no and snacks i read this book by this uh pool hustler it was a mcgirty life of a billiard hustler i think it was it's a really interesting book because it was about a guy who survived by traveling around on trains like a hobo gambling playing pool and billiards in the depression but during the depression he was talking about almost starving to death like a people that would knock on people's door and beg for food and you know people would just come out with a plate of food and give it to them like everybody was like on the edge people had to really rely on people they didn't like rely on people for food there was no [ __ ] jobs there's a lot of people back then you know we're looking at these homeless folks and like for the most part my opinion is you're looking at people
probably have an undiagnosed or untreated mental illness yeah it's a lot of that it's i think it's a lot i don't know what the number is but i would think it's a lot and then there's also people that make mistakes down in their life and then people that you know had terrible childhoods horrible abuse sexual abuse violence the evil parents you know parents die leave them alone foster care all that kind of [ __ ] like it's not their fault a lot of times and as as humans we should do something to take care of it but on the other hand yeah and we just don't know who's who out there yeah exactly who's mentally ill who just needs help and mentally ill people man they need help too but like how do you force them to you know how do you force them in a treat how do you just get them real help so that because yeah the way they do help people with pills and all that stuff some some of it works and some of it doesn't work you know what i mean and some of it's just like creates a dependency on something yeah so it's just like the the system just from the beginning needs to be fixed right and not just like pills and like have you ever been on any kind of psych medication no have you ever taken adderall no i mean either i want to though you do jamie gave me a little bit of adderall once allegedly and uh i didn't take it i looked at it don't want to [ __ ] with that yeah i don't do it man i'm scaring the speed yeah i'd go and gave it to you because i haven't taken it either i had it for a long time i don't think i'm gonna take it do you want it i just i've known so many people that do it and they get real weird they get weird and it is a it's it's an amphetamine and when you take amphetamines especially if you don't take amphetamines responsibly really strange things happen and one of things happens is people get really paranoid they get really weird they get they start having delusions of grandeur they start thinking that what they're doing is very important that a lot of
people are out to take them down and you see that with people that do too much adderall they don't follow the prescription they just start chewing them all day things can get real slippery like because it's slippery it's like matte mesh slippery that's all it has to do this is what it looks like because they i guess they get immune to it so they got to take extra oh yeah you do definitely then the more you take yeah the worse it gets yeah tolerances are real for everything yeah i assume i mean they even have tolerances for snake venom you know the one of the things that snake handlers do they give themselves a little bit of venom every day themselves immune to snake venom right your body is an amazing adaptable thing which is why vaccines work right so why these crazy [ __ ] who don't want us to have vaccines like listen you know we got to be real careful with claiming expertise on this [ __ ] we got to be real careful with getting [ __ ] over by pharmaceutical companies we got to be real careful of that too but we also got to be real careful of not listening to these doctors and researchers that are struggling to find the ways to cure these horrible infectious diseases because they've got a lot of them nailed through vaccines it's so confusing out there you can make an argument on for any team sure anything you can so it's tough to figure out i know a lot logical intelligent people that that think that vaccines cause autism and i'm not a doctor so i don't know if you know that yeah i think i think not a doctor nah um but uh i've heard logical intelligent people argue that that vaccines can cause autism i'm like man you're not a scientist like how could you say that because you saw it in a documentary i know it's interesting when you see something in a documentary that sounds good you want to relate it as fact i'm as guilty as that as anyone probably more guilty than most i'm guilty of doing that a lot but just recognizing that over time i've gotten to this point where i'm like
maybe i should just shut the [ __ ] up about something that i don't actually know about and try to figure out what it is instead of saying what it is what they what they do know is that vaccines have stopped the spread of a [ __ ] bunch of awful diseases saved a bunch of plagues that lindsay fitzharris woman who's been on the podcast jamie she sent me some image of uh some people with smallpox a bunch of stuff about smallpox is horrific right just horrific how it kills you horrific they nip that [ __ ] in the bud with vaccines maybe maybe they've changed maybe maybe some vaccines do give people autism look at that that's what that guy's back looks like yeah maybe some vaccines vaccines do give some people autism but overall most of the time it helps everybody like there's going to be some things that affect people differently but then that but that means you can't stop taking it or giving it to everybody that's no consolation right there's no consolation if you get autism from it or if your child really taught me yeah but it's one of those things that's but everybody else grows up without it right you know it's a messy thing about being a person right right like it's not it's not like clean pro like are you pro-abortion well i'm pro-abortion up to a point right right when it gets to be like seven months it's that seems to you know it gets longer in the pregnancy that seems like we're talking if you're talking about like the first few days right yeah what is that like i'm reselling i'm pro-abortion if i get the girl pregnant as far as it takes as far as it takes yeah it's um it's a weird you know with many many many subjects right there's like a weird well it's not exactly well it's this you know if there's a vaccine court for a reason vaccines have done damage to people yeah people got injured from vaccines where
during the injection site something happened peter hotez was talking about that he's a doctor that's a specialist in infectious diseases and vaccines and he was explaining that there's five environmental factors that they think or five factors they think contribute to a child possibly getting autism they've narrowed it down to these things with the most current research but they're all during the womb it's it's contact with things during the womb or in the genetics of the mother they think that it has something to do with the developmental process while the child is in vitro in the woman's body not after birth right they don't think it occurs after birth but i don't know that i mean they could be wrong they could be current and then they could change that opinion a year from now they can find new evidence that [ __ ] happens all the time yeah exactly it really does it happens all the time but what we have to do is make sure we have [ __ ] people that are working on this [ __ ] trying to figure out the way to stop diseases because otherwise some spanish flu type [ __ ] comes rolling around simple [ __ ] and kill everybody that spanish flu killed millions and millions of people in the 1920s yeah it doesn't sound lethal at all it's just spanish flu it's just like how did that kill people sounds like a drink yeah to bring that full circle back to downtown la that where typhus outbreaks have happened last couple times exact same thing as typhoid fever i think but it's very close it's a new one it's a new one it's a new typhoid that they don't have a [ __ ] vaccine for i was down there the other day just trying to buy donuts downtown yes the the allure of downtown has escaped me everybody everybody thinks it's amazing with jamie and i talked and we've been talking about this forever we wanted to get a loft in downtown like up high and start filming podcasts up there because i think that would be the coolest backdrop right like for for youtube like you and me sitting here behind us you just all building like some times square mtv [ __ ] yeah lights and [ __ ] like that would be an amazing backdrop for a podcast green screen that now and be safe
yeah i can't do that if i was gonna green screen something it would be like current events [ __ ] it would be like melania trump slapping donald's hand away like did you see that [ __ ] like that would be what i would i wouldn't pretend i'm in the savannahs you know what i mean like behind me there's a cheetah creeping up on me and everybody sees like does he know does he know i'll be sitting in griffith park behind me is a mountain lion munching on a leg i was meditating in griffith park oh dude like one morning and i hear rustling in the bushes and it was a coyote like just waking up they bite you yeah and i was like i can't do that anymore close my eyes in griffith park yeah you go camping out there they'll bite you they'll check that you might be dead they'll take a bite yeah if you're just lying there like damn maybe just recently died they'll just bite you yeah they really will they really will they're predators that whole thing is so strange people are so strange how we just uh we think it's cool it's cool to be around these bears and mountain lions and [ __ ] and we have urban coyotes ones that like you'll see walking down the street at night yeah my neighbor had two little dogs and one of them was really old so then she had to walk them one at a time because she saw a coyote one time coming up on him and she couldn't handle both of them so she takes or she used to take each dog out to walk at night one at a time take a gun shoot that [ __ ] rotten dog right in the face it's hot that's what a coyote is a dog not her dog i was talking about the coyote well actually it's a wolf it's a small wolf it's a small wolf yeah coyote is like a particularly uh durable and resilient form of wolf it's a shitty wolf it's a really interesting wolf there's a great book called coyote america by dan flores he i learned about him through my friend steve ronnell i think he was his professor in one of his um one of his courses
but he is a guy who spent an extreme amount of time studying the history and the science behind coyotes it's a really really interesting book but one of the things they found out is that when you kill a coyote they just make more coyotes that's why so many of them yeah like they know they spread out yeah they when they yell out they yell out they communicate in a lot of different ways they yell out when they kill something sometimes they yell out when they're trying to figure out where each others are they also yell at like a roll call like because it's hard out there so they're like hey what's up they do that that's part of what they're doing and uh when one is missing they the female there's some sort of a chemical or biological reaction and her body makes more puppies oh she's like we're [ __ ] tonight yeah i didn't hear jamie we're [ __ ] tonight they make larger litters yeah so if like a normal litter would be like four pups if someone's missing they'll make six or eight something along those lines so now we can't kill them well they spread out too in the 1700s and 1800s you know when people first started going through the west they're you know they were around but then when we started killing them they spread to the entire country they were also they were in a single state so they weren't like down this way no no they weren't everywhere they're a west animal they're a western animal and then they went bro they're in new york city oh [ __ ] for real yes for real there's coyotes in new york city they have little packs of them running around times square get out of here dude for real dude there's little coyotes that are wandering through central park listen i get that there's mountain lions in griffith park i get that there's urban cot but new york city i might have made up the time square park but that's bananas definitely new york i'll check i know they're in new york because there was uh they probably came from upstate they've seen them in
buildings coyotes in abandoned buildings where they've decided to make a look at nest and abandoned building they're all over downtown l.a damn central park central park bam coyote [ __ ] damn bro on the streets coyote okay on the street so i was telling the truth yeah they could go to times square easily yeah they're everywhere i'm almost like a tourist graduating coyote that is a small wolf that's what that is and they're we've we're infected with them and here's the thing this is what you have to be aware of that's the gentleman that uh go back what is his name justin brown yeah justin brown was on the podcast he tracks coyotes all throughout downtown l.a he's biology a wildlife biologist that works for the state really interesting in downtown l.a so instead of like being at a ranch outside of bakersfield and tachopee mountains this guy is uh look there's a coyote same trap same camera trap got that yeah get a picture of that too young james order that [ __ ] up make a note yeah why not right we should have coyote picture too we can't just have a mountain lion that's rude let's show all the crazy [ __ ] that's wandering see if they got a bear in the camera trap yeah hopefully they got a beard i like how the coyotes are so used to being around that the way they walk down the street is just like regular yeah like no trepidation whatsoever look at that just wandering yeah yeah whistling walk i remember in 1994 the first it might have been 93. first time i ever came to l.a you know i was staying at the uh oakwood gardens oh yeah you know those oakwood apartments yeah on barham they're in burbank they're furnished apartments where it's where you stay when you first come to l.a you don't have a spot you don't have enough money to get it up and you don't know if the show you're on is everything it's going to last yeah so i stayed at these oakwoods apartments and i was driving up the street to the apartment and i saw coyotes i was like what is this dog doing just wandering around and i was like oh [ __ ] those are coyotes i couldn't believe it that's fine i pulled
over and i'm looking out the window there's three little wolves isn't it funny how that moment when something you've never seen before you see it and it takes you a second yeah to realize it what it is and then you the word for what it is comes to your head right away yeah like you knew it was a coyote even though you've never really seen a coyote before i was in denial he was in denial yeah i was thinking it was a dog like it was three dogs and then i had to pull over and i'm like i remember people telling me they'd seen coyotes but i thought it was like i saw a mountain lion like if someone says i saw a mountain lion you're like holy [ __ ] you did that's pretty rare right right have you ever seen one no i've seen two live yeah i've seen two live ones while you're like out there yeah and what happened one of them ate my dog that was when i lived in colorado yeah and you was right there no no i was this mountain lion's case in the house i think right and we saw it in the woods at one point in time and then another one i saw in santa barbara in montecito driving through a neighborhood i saw this animal run across the car in front of the lights and i saw its tail and i was like holy [ __ ] that's a cat i take it back i have seen some mountain lions really you know faison love yeah he moves all over the place but one time he lived in san diego me and hugh moore went to visit him and we was at his house hanging out and at night he was like look out the window in his backyard and there was like mountain lions in his [ __ ] backyard more than one yeah there was like two or three of them and all i'm thinking is like how the [ __ ] are we going to get to the car oh my god and he was so casual about it and i was like wow yeah yeah it's time to move son yeah um jamie do you ever see that video from colorado where uh a guy looked out his window there was three mountain lions on his driveway like super clear iphone footage yeah this guy uh or android phone i
don't know if you don't want to use it yeah it could be it could be an android he was saying this weekend more [ __ ] for using an android phone than for being a vegan yeah for being a black vegan comedian yeah yeah you get more grief yeah for having an android phone yeah it's a weird little battle right it's like republican democrat type [ __ ] yeah it is it is like people with iphones really ain't trying to have it well it's not just that it's like there's teams it's like the [ __ ] orioles are playing the yankees yeah yeah you know people get on a goddamn team and the iphones are the yankees right now it's weird man phone the phone thing is a weird thing it's weird that people are so they're they're really like so tribal right they're tribal with their phones yeah they made a tribe out of phones people can make a tribe out of anything and what's really crazy is the biggest company the ones that's the most desirable is a company that also makes computers and they they make their own [ __ ] they make their own hardware right like that's what's really strange about apple like they make everything they make the software they make the hardware they the only there's only one you have different models but there's only an iphone you get an iphone r xr whatever the [ __ ] it is x xs max but it's only an iphone that's all you get you don't get it you don't get anything else whereas android you got hundreds of brands yeah see there's so much variety everybody yeah but choose from jamie's like that but you got to have you got to be able to deal with that green yeah when the green comes in people get offended by the green bubble i have friends that i go up one of those green even smart people look at them but maybe if they're smart and your bubble gums are green it means something they know something it doesn't look green to them that's the thing yeah my messenger is pretty cool looking yeah all my texas when they come in like they're all
what do they look like let's see i'll show you see a conversation well i think mine are oh they're blue they are blue so yours come in blue anyway so it looks blue what do you have a note yeah a galaxy note 9 yeah that's the [ __ ] i have one of those hey i see that's my other phone yeah you told me yeah that thing is badass yeah it is it's a beast of a phone the screen is amazing yeah it's so big and you like you get the whole screen there's no cutout yeah and it goes down the side and [ __ ] yeah but i got it just in case like i'm on a flight and i want to watch something on it right or just somewhere you want to watch something on it you download it and you have a full screen yeah instead of having like a getting an ipad on top of that right cause people have just too much [ __ ] do you ever use the pen though that pen is useless to me yeah i just like like signed the document today like yeah like chandra needed a w-9 signed a w-9 form for me i just like downloaded it signed it and then emailed it back wow yeah i've never used it yeah maybe it's just me i draw dicks on people's head that's a perfect use for it but i also feel like a rebel when i use my android phone i do it's hilarious i do i feel like a rebel [ __ ] i'm crazy man bucking trends out here when do you use your android like like so you have your iphone yeah so using it more more often i'm transitioning one phone number to another which i have to do often oh okay yeah so you have two different numbers yeah okay getting used to it play i play with it a lot right they've got a new one that's coming out there's a new one that's coming out that looks amazing do you know 10 no 10 yeah it's coming out like in a couple weeks yeah i'm i try to hold on to i don't try to get every new phone i try to hold on to it for a minute so i feel like they didn't rip me off and then maybe three or two phones later then i'll get the other one but if i buy every phone i feel like um i want to be a rebel within the rebels yeah you're saying i'll get some old
[ __ ] yeah yeah i got some old [ __ ] you're not going to get me like in this loop or just buying buying buying comparison yeah it's in that weird thing like that phone they could stop right there that phone's perfect like it does everything yeah what what more do i need they take pictures makes videos get on the internet ask your questions give me answers send emails what the [ __ ] else do i need don't you don't it does everything unless they come up with some new [ __ ] but if someone said hey ian i'll give you a million dollars but you got to use that phone only for the rest of your life would you say yes this one yes that's crazy right yes yeah they say listen if it breaks we'll replace it but that's your phone forever i know it'll work i know it'll slow down well apple phones will slow down because they engineered them and that made it sick that that almost made me stop using apple stuff i was like i can't believe that you guys are attributing this to to battery life that's in disingenuous and then they admitted it right well they admitted it but they said they did it so that it would give you more battery life because your battery degrades over time so they engineered it that is a convenient yeah they also must have understood that people were going to get frustrated with the fact that it slowed down considerably and it would give them an incentive to buy a new phone to say that they didn't say that like come on you guys are so goddamn smart you make iphones right they figured out everything yeah but not that you didn't figure that out you figured that out on purpose yeah you also are one of the most successful businesses of all time apple has billions of dollars cash just sitting there they have so much money they got pablo escobar buried money they got so much money apple has something like how many billions of dollars does apple have 225 billion apple has so much cash cash that they could they could probably wipe out half our debt looks like this is
what they could buy right now and still have 25 billion left over they could buy nike ferrari twitter the manchester united franchise and the manchester united football team and still have how much left 25 billion left i say football for people like yourself that are official thank you sir i didn't say soccer i appreciate that do they say soccer um where you from like originally uh in england yeah no no not in england english football yeah only in america they say soccer but before the like where did it where did it become football was it always football in europe it was always football why why when it came over here did it switch over no idea why didn't they come up with another name for football oh they could hardly ever kick a football i think i think they were playing football like the soccer football and then somebody picked up the ball and started running with it and they started tackling each other like i heard some story like that and then they kind of created football and it evolved from there but then they never changed the name it's not weird that like football is called football when the only person who kicks it is a guy who can't even play the game he's the least significant person on the team as far as getting [ __ ] when there's a championship yes that is weird yeah and you're not allowed to hit him right right and you're not allowed to hit him yeah that's crazy you can hit him it's not while he's in motion of his a vulnerable person they try to be safe oh so you can't hit him while he's kicking his legs up in the area oh that's so ridiculous yeah what a [ __ ] ass if you blow up the ball yeah you can't yeah you block the ball and then you can hit him yeah but isn't it crazy that that's football it's only one time it gets kicked right how is that football why why what a silly name right does it make sense but i'm not mad at it you know it's like fine it's
whatever imagine if they called you know baseball what would they call it foul called it foul we're playing foul well it's something that happens every now and then this game has nothing to do with running around the bases is it it's about touchdowns you should call it touchdown yeah touchdown yeah because it's just yeah baseball it's just like we're trying to get from base to base yeah if they call it baseball touchdown no they call football touchdown touchdown the ntl national touchdown league we're going to we're going to play touchdown that's the game it's not football your foot doesn't have [ __ ] to do with it we're coming through an explanation of why we call it soccer and it's more confusing than we care to go through um when you go back to england if you're from england and you're talking about it do people do they resent the term soccer like how does that work some people do like i used to resent the term soccer really yeah but i live here as i get over it you know i'm saying as a person i got to get over it because it was my favorite sport growing up yeah so i just got over it and then now i even call it soccer my podcast says soccer i don't even say football but when i go to england i just or just when i'm around football soccer people i say football i get it yeah it's like if i if i was talking to someone they they wanted to talk about pool but they want to call it bumper pool oh okay the woman's world cup they won the world cup in the united states did for uh soccer and but it's not you know it's football to people like yourself it's a world cup like how can they call the world cup soccer to appease the one country that gives the least amount of [ __ ] about the sport right not weird yeah that's weird that's the power of america that's crazy if you really stop and think about it we made them change the name of their thing yeah but we're like uh we're not gonna get in there we'll call it soccer okay we're a part of it but we're calling it this they call it do they call it football in like argentina yeah are they everywhere football you know but it's football just their
pronunciation and spelling of it but then australia they're the rebels of the rebels oh yeah they have their own rules they have australian rules football they change the rules right for more ruggedness yeah because they're too you know what it was over there they were too used to rugby like those new zealand savages yeah they're [ __ ] savage you can't play that bitch-ass game with a helmet these guys are running around biting each other in the dick and the scrums right that's the most rugged game anything to win that's the game they should play in america all the cte problems they're having you'd have a little bit of that with with anything contact sports you're going to get injuries but i think you'd have less with no gear so both those things confuse me i don't know the difference between rugby and australian rules football i think in australia they play both that's just i'd be just confused like what is the difference well the ball's different right they both seem like what's a rugby ball look like they literally look about the same is it no different not no there is slight differences but they look about the same it's like a football with more rounded edges and it's a little more plump as far as i know they could be playing with a round ball i literally don't even know yeah i have no idea what a rug no it's kind of like it kind of looks like an american oh that's it that's a cross between a basketball and a football yeah it's like a fat football yeah so that's an australian use football though it's similar to a rugby ball okay so that's not a foot rugby ball but it's close so there's probably like football australian rules football and then rugby ball right what is the rules what can they do yeah what are they doing different it's also sometimes referred to in the media as the round ball game what the world game and international football australian news football referred to as australian football so i think i think yeah it's a little more like fluid like the game doesn't stop as much there's less stoppages that
kind of just keep going okay it says it's a little more fluid where players can pretty much run around where they choose they still have a specific inside goal to score but it's more open in between another main difference is that the game is played in 20-minute quarters not halves hmm i was trying i told you a couple while ago they're heading three verse three basketball to the olympics coming up and the way that that game is played is so different than traditional basketball like it's just a running clock once you score you just take it out throw it back run across the line go score again it's very fast-paced so they're bringing like park ball to the olympics oh i think so apparently it's very popular in europe it's not like that big three basketball that sort of started here it's not that same basketball but it's popular i guess when will harris was in here will harris has this uh show called anatomy of a fighter uh he's a videographer and he went to dagestan to watch khabib nurmagomedov who's the ufc lightweight champion who's a [ __ ] animal man he's just one of the rare undefeated top of the food chain fighters in mma right they play a game of basketball in dagestan where they don't dribble the ball at all they just like wrestle each other to the ground and they even choke each other and get each other in arm bars and [ __ ] so that this is it they're just practicing jiu jitsu yeah they're well look they don't they don't dribble at all they're basically playing like football a football type but they're shooting at the basketball hoop but they throw each other to the ground and khabib [ __ ] hip toss dudes because they they have it right next to the wrestling mats so part of what they filmed was he was in a wrestling match with his dude when they were trying to take a player out so he's grabs a hold of this dude and when he grabs a hold of his dude he drags him to the ground and gets him in the back gets him in an arm bar gets him in a rim naked choke it's crazy makes the guy tap and then he doesn't let him up like here it goes look look he grabs them like they're allowed to do this the guy slips through he gets them they're they're grappling first of all they're
grappling on the [ __ ] hardwood floor full blast grappling and then he takes him to the ground like this is serious this isn't playing around he takes the dudes back now they're on the floor again they're on the hardwood floor and he's [ __ ] choking him out he just kind of mcgregored him and then they keep going and as they keep going he's getting the guy in an arm bar later this is this is like look at this [ __ ] this is basketball for white dudes that can't dribble that's all this is just like how do we but yeah i don't know man i think it's this is the most effective way to use wrestling with basketball i think they just wanted to make something that's like a really hard workout that's very competitive i think i i don't know if other people are doing this in europe or if this is just something that dagestan figured out but look these are some of the most savage fighters in the ufc it does look fun it looks fine as [ __ ] yeah unless you get khabib on your back yeah they just don't have access to a very good basketball and pump to keep it pumped up and the floor is probably not good to be dribbled on so they just figured out a better game to play instead of dealing with that [ __ ] up ball in court that's a ridiculous way to think jamie these are world-class fighters they travel all over the world they have all sorts of gym equipment they have mats they have weights they have everything skin on it that's a shitty basketball i've played with lots of basketballs in my life you would never even try to dribble that it is another one it's like american football slash jiu like if you have a dead spot on the court you almost don't even want to play on it but dude they could get another ball they all have brand new sneakers on and leggings and [ __ ] i mean it's not like jack stands in the middle of nowhere i don't get goods there they could but they might just like this game better they're just like [ __ ] we're playing this because we're all better at this that i think i think it helps them i'm saying that your leg made you go
one-on-one with the basket maybe i did not understand the rules they make them up but you said it was like i was swearing for no reason oh they're like they're they're talking out a dispute yeah how do you argue with khabib you can't yeah that's the top dog that's the beast of the [ __ ] crew um but yeah it's it's weird what what people like get really into like cricket cricket is one the the europeans brought over to india right they brought it to the west indies they brought it to any country that they colonize and all those countries love it and they play it oh so it's a colonization game yeah and then now they have like almost like the equivalent of like world cups of cricket and all the countries australia is a big crooked country because they you know so it's a big thing the west indies and everything strange looking game too right it's just boring yeah takes takes days to play sometimes days yeah yeah days yeah for over a week i think sometimes yeah yeah for one game yeah yeah how many hours a day long too many oh my god there's too many man i i can't i used to kill me it was fun to play in the backyard because you can just get some sticks and stick them in the ground and then put one across the top as a wicket that this is a game where i have no idea i couldn't even draw you a picture of what the stick looks like i don't know it's just three stitches three sticks like three sticks and then you put like one on top across the all of them so that you're out when the guy who's pitching or bowling and you swing and or if you don't swing and it hits the wicket and they knock over come kind of like bowling sticks then you're out what yeah and then you get you're supposed to you're trying to protect the wicket protect the wicket and hit it so far that you can run from stick to stick you and your partner who's batting at the other end and then the most amount of runs you can get that just adds to the score can i see
that i want to see that that sounds so weird pull up a video of dudes playing cricket i don't think i've ever watched a game oh yeah i think i've seen like highlights on television maybe no no chance i don't know see i'm i'm already stunned by their outfits yeah this guy doesn't have nothing on some dudes are covered up in gear those are the the guys with the helmets because the ball is hard as [ __ ] i got hit by a cricket ball by the strongest kid in school one time oh that's like coming down the way they throw it this was so weird like the guys in the outfield don't have anything because they just catch the ball bare-handed right yeah bare-handed yeah and i feel like they should have mixed look how he throws it he runs at you he runs and literally tries to hit you with the ball that's crazy and does it have to hit the ground first is that the deal yeah i think yeah it does it does from what i remember because it seems like it but the dude like runs across the line this is a [ __ ] game it's a 100 [ __ ] game like i don't i'm not a big fan of baseball i used to mean it i think it's kind of boring yeah my wrestling coach used to say it's not a sport it's a skills game it's a skills game it's not a sport you ever see a baseball player so [ __ ] tired he had to push himself i have to push coach smurf coach murphy wrestling coach in high school and also the same guy tried to get me to play football when i weighed 135 pounds crazy [ __ ] yeah maybe he saw some natural athlete [ __ ] in you no i just thought it was mean oh yeah that was mean i'd be good that was me no i was a wrestler that'd be good you put him in a great safety probably just [ __ ] people up i would get crippled that's what would have happened but there's a dude on our team his name is bob baker he weighed a good solid 300 pounds oh he was so big maybe not maybe i'm exaggerating but he was 250 he was our heavyweight and i was like how how was he and me how are we going to play the same game where he could just run me over what did he want you to play i don't
know we didn't even just it didn't get that far like you're crazy i was already fighting too i was doing martial arts and wrestling at the same time like look man i don't know i'm not doing that i'm already doing [ __ ] that freaks me out physical [ __ ] it scares the [ __ ] out of me all the time i don't want to get scared by even bigger people at least martial arts and wrestling was confined to your own weight class you know if i had to wrestle some bad ass dude at least uh it was my own weight class right you know yeah this is like the weight scale is all over the place on the football field yeah man it's all over the place and the athleticism's all over the place too you know you get a guide like herschel walker and you know if you're in high school and there's a herschel walker in high school and he's on some team that you're posing good luck [ __ ] face there's people that are just superior just superior it's not a damn thing you can do about it aren't there people like that in martial arts like when you're all wrestling oh yeah yeah there's things like that and outliers you know there's outliers in all sports and a lot of it has to do you know with what you did growing up sometimes people do things grown up like a lot of wrestlers turns out like working on farms as a kid is a great way for wrestlers to be super strong you know who make good restless cowboys oh yeah because they they they you know they stare they're getting the cow [ __ ] cow drag it to the ground they do it all the time they practice on them yeah yeah for sure well also they're tough yeah cause you're gonna get banged up a lot and a lot of it is like mental toughness yeah you know but people who have to care like there's a dude matt hughes he's like one of the greatest welterweights of all time and he was ungodly strong right dude from illinois because he grew up on a farm on a farm wrestling animals i was at a party one time right i was at a party one time and he was thrown by these rappers i was right on the show lyricist lounge so one of the rappers master fool dude from brooklyn was friends with these cowboys that's a great name master faster fool
he's dope too he's like he's like the flavored flavor of the of the rappers okay for that group and he's just like he just talks to everybody so he became friends with these cowboys they came to visit la for a week and live in the house with the rappers and you know they were real cowboys they like have their lassos out on the set and [ __ ] like that so then at the party this black dude with dreads got into argument with one of the cowboys they're like we're not gonna fight in the house so everybody walks around the corner to the street and in five seconds that cowboy had the black dude with dreads tied up with his pants just just like twisted tied his body right and had him on the ground bleeding jesus and then it was like all right let him up and let's start again and he got up and he just did it to the black dude again and i was like i'll never [ __ ] with a cowboy if if a cowboy is a wrestler if he knows how to wrestle two both of those things yes wrestlers are so goddamn strong you don't realize until they grab you and then you realize how helpless you are it's a weird feeling and even if you you can wrestle if you like i wasn't a good wrestler in high school but i made it to the states and uh i remember when i was wrestling this kid who eventually became friends with because he's he's to come to nautilus plus which is a place where i was teaching taekwondo and we ran into each other when we were both like 20 like probably 20 or something like that it was really cool he was a really nice guy his name is murphy too i don't remember his first name might have been that might have been his first name a lot of irish people named murphy that's like it's like the most common name amongst irish people probably but uh i was like doing pretty good in like regional [ __ ] but this guy got a hold of me and i was like [ __ ] oh [ __ ] just made me realize like this is another level of wrestling he had been wrestling all of his life i only been doing it for a year he just ragdolled me around i was like [ __ ] damn and he wasn't even like like a champion i don't think he won the states
and then whoever did win the states didn't win the nationals so it's like there's a slight tears and then like a national high school champion ain't [ __ ] compared to a division one ncaa amer all-american college wrestler damn those college wrestlers are off the chain and then they ain't [ __ ] compared to like jordan burroughs right it's not that they're not [ __ ] i should never say that about i mean just saying that in comparison because i admire them almost more than any other athlete because there's no professional venue for what they do one of the more amazing things about wrestling is they go into it knowing there's no professional sport there's no perfect other than you know pro wrestling is different it's entertainment but there's no professional 135 pound wrestling 180 pound wrap there's none of that they just love it they just love it and it's the toughest thing to do physically they're [ __ ] animals but then when you get to the top at the top of the food chain like a multiple time world champion like jordan burroughs he had a wrestling match with ben askren and he just ran him over just rolling over and ben asker is one of the best grapplers to ever compete in mma and he was also a two-time olympian wrestler yes and that guy he ran him over damn and ben askren runs most people over when he wrestles with him yeah levels levels levels levels never ends with speaking of ascrine is he awakened he's awake he's uh he handled it like a champion oh good yeah he uh went on uh ariel helwani show and talked about it and she said yeah it sucks the guy's a douchebag sucks losing to him uh you know i don't like him he said uh you know he just what can he do he's like he's not gonna read the comments he's a smart guy yeah he's a very smart guy but uh he took it like a man to be able to go and do an interview right after you get knocked out like that is very admirable but that's who he is that's how you get to be a guy who's as good a wrestler as a guy like ben askren you can handle a loss like that what do you think of the i forgot i can't i can't pronounce the guy's name who beat him jorge mas vidal mas vidal what he said after the fight
he said he would smack him if he summoned whole foods yeah i think i think it's just a little too much you won i i but i don't know their history the history is rough excuse me it's like 10 years of them uh giving him a hard time of uh ben asker and giving moz according to maz vidal a lot of talking [ __ ] which some people think is friendly in mozvidal street jesus doesn't [ __ ] around all right you want to talk [ __ ] you want to talk [ __ ] to street jesus he will [ __ ] make fun of you after he flatlines you right and that's right he did he flatlined him in five seconds made him the fastest ever ko in ufc history and then mocked him afterwards and said he would smack him if he saw him at whole foods but see we're talking about it so moz vidal is smart this is a yeah yeah this is an amazing marketing ploy i mean he's he's become in one fight the most talked about fighter in the sport because he did something in the sport that's been around for a little bit that nobody's ever done before yeah ben askren was undefeated yeah undefeated and mozvidal comes out flatlines like that and talks some pretty vicious [ __ ] after the fact and even mimicked him laying on the floor which would look scary the way he was out mm-hmm yeah masuda was saying uh calls out easy conor mcgregor i want to break his face yeah that would be that's a rough fight that's a rough fight for conor mcdonald is a big fellow too i mean he's he really belongs at 170 that's where he's fighting he fought at 155 but really tortured himself to make that weight right he's a big guy you're talking about a guy who knocked out cowboy cerrone knocked out darren till knocked out ben askren i mean he's knocking out big welterweights big darren till's a big welterweight he's big yeah he's not a guy coming up from 155 pounds he's never making hundreds 55 155 sorry yeah so he's one weight class uh heavier and he's really running into like the
last few fights he's coming into his own he's like really becoming something special he had a real close uh decision loss to wonder boy i wish i could remember how that fight went down i just think it was a decision i don't know if it was a split decision or unanimous decision but i think it was just wonderboy outpointed him i don't think there was any knock downs right now yeah it was mos vidal but wonder boy is a particularly difficult guy to fight and especially for three rounds pettis recently knocked him out but uh pettit's just hit him with a perfect punch and that can happen to anybody and pettis timed it and pettis is a beast pettis is wild yeah he's a wild man he's he's a fantastic fighter like losing to him is like yeah you lost to one of the best fighters ever and he also like he's a guy who dropped tony ferguson i mean pet has knocked out cowboy cerrone pettis knocked out joe lozon with his crazy head king pettis is a monster pettis is like he'll win one and then lose one win yeah yeah well it's it's a crazy division man it's filled with murders just murder after murder both divisions 55 and 70. and i think pettis is probably going to do real good at 70 because he's healthier you know i think he went down to 145 and it almost killed him it was just too much man he had nothing in the tank and then max holloway beat him up he lost to uh i think he lost to charles oliveira i think so i might be wrong he might have caught charles oliveira hmm i don't know perez has the most legit crazy look in his eye that i've ever seen pettis one right he choked him right right right right and joking that's right that's right i'm confused he lost to someone else at 145 who else did he lose it to at 45. max barboza oh barboza was 55. dustin poirier i don't think that was 55. and he lost the total that was 45 wikipedia doesn't say what they're fighting in he lost to tony right uh yes he lost a ton he broke his hand in the fight and he had to stop but it was a great fight that was a great fight wound up dropping him oh okay so charles olive edson barboza and then oliveira i think that was
i think that was 55 i think max holloway was 45 i don't know man i'm not sure though and then he went back up to 55 the the dusted poirier fight that was um that was he got injured and that was at 55. that was a catch weight they fought he was at 148 he missed the weight oh he missed the fight with max yeah so he's trying to get down to 45 so featherweight debut was against oliveira so he submissioned oliveira he submitted oliver in his featherweight debut okay so he had two fights at that weight and that way it was torturous for him he didn't make it for the max holloway fight um and then jim miller is definitely a 55-pound fight and all the other ones were 55 until he got to stephen thompson and that was the last one um wonder boy that was uh that was at welterweight yeah that was an amazing fight i mean so i think sometimes these guys it's just too much man it's just too much he beat michael kiesa says he beat casa and casa is another one he was fighting at 55 and now he moved up to 70. yeah that ended up being a catchweight fight because he's scheduled these [ __ ] guys man they're they're killing themselves that weight cutting all right you know imagine if that was the case with soccer like before a soccer game everybody had that like you had a certain amount of guaranteed weight on the field imagine like ian you know you are whatever position it is you have to cut down to 130 pounds like [ __ ] right right so you gotta drain your body in a sauna and then everybody weighs and then everybody rehydrates and then the next day you play this grueling ass game yeah that'd be ridiculous right fighting is the most tiring thing it would totally compromise the game wouldn't it yeah magic football players had to do that imagine football players only had like you want okay guys whatever the team is it has to weigh 4 000 pounds that's it no more and so you have to decide hey you know bob can't cut lower than 260 we checked his body fat joe you're gonna have to get down to 180 jaime when we were kids playing football we had to weigh in and that sort of happened like yeah because uh if you were a certain
weight like you had to have stripes on your helmet it means you could only play like on the line you couldn't be carrying the ball because you'd be [ __ ] no no kids could tackle you [ __ ] them all up so there was like definitely a limit i remember i did have to wear the trash bag and like cut five pounds or try to i don't [ __ ] know how much i weighed but it was so i could be a tight end and catch the ball because i was a little i was like on the border dude that was that's so bad for kids i had a friend in high school my friend stephen he's all of his brother's like six one six two he's like five six he never grew and it was because all throughout high school and junior high school he was cutting weight and wrestling i guarantee you it had something to do with it everyone else's family is just tall always uh and he was always tired or his dad is not his real dad oh no his brothers looked just like him okay he uh he was always tired he'd be walking around the hallways like this oh because he would do wrestling camps he would do the whole thing so he's always wrestling he's always exhausted always it's a terrible thing for kids the fact they still have kids do that is [ __ ] madness it's madness people didn't know any better my parents didn't even ask me when i got on the wrestling team they didn't have you're not cutting weight are you they didn't even ask me all right they had no idea did you just listen to the coach coach tells you to lose weight you gotta lose weight [ __ ] so bad for the body it's so bad for your your brain too because it dehydrates your brain and then you're in class you're trying to listen in class and you're [ __ ] it's worse than being hungover that's true because all they tell us to do now is drink water and stay hydrated and then you're doing something that's like you can't put anything in your system you're just trying to drain it out it doesn't affect you mentally yeah yeah when you get dehydrated your brain works like [ __ ] right like they say that's one of the things that happens to people in the desert when they start dying of thirst they can't think straight right they don't
they don't make good decisions yeah i've been fatigued like at soccer practice and you just like i'll you'll be wearing an opposing player's shirt and just from fatigue i'll just pass it to you just to not have to have the responsibility of this ball you know what i'm saying for reals like [ __ ] it and i'm trying to make the team at the time i'm like making just blatant mistakes i'm just so tired man yeah fatigue makes cowards of men that's vince lombardi's line it did that to me in college were you following adam greentree at all his stories at this point in the video he said he hadn't had water for like 18 hours and he's still climbing uphill and needs to find it yeah great that's insane well he had to get rescued i don't know if he broke his arm i haven't chatted with him but he thinks he broke his arm too it is uh if you go to my friend adam greentree's instagram adam.greentree he documented this hunt that he went in for a thing called the himalayan tar that lives in new zealand and it lives in these alpine mountain areas i don't know it's alpine these mountain dangerous slippery mountain areas and uh he got stuck out there and he had to get rescued and fell into the frozen glacier river and was freezing to death had a climb into his sleeping bag soaking wet yeah really dangerous fell thought he broke his arm yeah i was worried that he might have broke his leg did he pull out his camera and film half of it too probably i don't think he filmed much of it he felt filmed some of it but he was having a really hard time and then he had to get rescued and he had to go somewhere where the helicopter could land so they could winch him and and carry him up and rescue him and take him to the hospital [ __ ] dangerous [ __ ] there's a lot of these guys like adam who's a good friend of mine who uh loves to go on these like vision quest solo adventures so he'll go to the mountains and and camp out by himself for 28 days and he films it and puts it up on instagram right where he's talking to himself and talking like hunting elk these like mountain areas and
last year that's his uh his campsite last year he had a one-on-one encounter with a grizzly bear oh and he had a pistol with him and he's documenting him trying to hold off this mama grizzly standing up in the background she made several charges at him and he didn't even know that the pistol was jammed the ammunition was the wrong size so the lever like ch when you [ __ ] it it couldn't it couldn't fit another bullet in there so he had a dummy gun he's pointing a gun that's not even real because so if you pull the trigger nothing would happen so then he realized that that was a problem when he i guess he tried to fire it uh to make sure it does work or something so then he had to realize that he had to put he could put one bullet in the chamber but he couldn't reload he couldn't reload musket style yeah so he had one bullet essentially one bullet the wrong ammo for the pistol and you only get one shot with one of those charges you don't even get one man you know when they're running at you you are [ __ ] your pants you can't believe it you're you're gonna miss half the bullets if you have 10 bullets if you hit it once you're lucky it's madness because you're not going to shoot when it's 10 feet away from you you're going to shoot as it's running towards you and you i don't think you're going to be able to hold that position it's too crazy what is the bear doing when it's like making charges at him but not coming at him trying to get you to get the [ __ ] away from its babies almost always almost always get the [ __ ] away from my babies it's almost always a woman a female bear rather protecting their coats yeah that's they're they don't [ __ ] around some [ __ ] that might be a hunter you might be hunting bear you might want to shoot my baby oh yeah yeah they don't know yeah you might just be a you know they don't think of humans as a good thing humans are dangerous right you know it's not our [ __ ] they're they're predators yeah i'm surprised bears don't attack humans just more often based on that like how do they distinguish who's a hunter and who's not they don't think of hunters as being something they should
attack they think they should get the [ __ ] out of there because when they see guns go off and then a bull a bullet hits a bear right next to them that bear kind of explodes and screams in agony and falls the ground they just want to get the [ __ ] out of there and not have it happen to them right so if they've seen that ever in their life they've seen a bear get shot which if you're in a place where bears get hunted it's very likely that they have seen that they just run away they smell people they run they want to get the [ __ ] out so bears look at humans like predators only in places where people hunt bears the problem is when people don't hunt bears bears have zero fear of humans and then bears wind up killing people right this is what you see in yellowstone because those bears are grizzly bears and the only place in america where you can hunt grizzly bears is in alaska and in alaska they have a different attitude they're starting to open up grizzly bear seasons i think there was one they were trying to do in wyoming and there might have been one somewhere else where they were trying to do they do it in canada but they recently banned it in british columbia and the reason why they banned it is not because of the people that live near the grizzly bears they're encouraging it because these these things are fair it's coming today and dangerous right it's the people that live in the cities or the most people like this the biggest population center in british columbia is vancouver right it's all urban so that's the giant mass of people but the people that live like where my friend mike hawkridge lives those people don't have a say and those are the ones who live with bears right and they have wolves and bears all over the place up there and the black bears which you can hunt those are not even dangerous i mean they're dangerous but not dangerous compared to grizzlies right grizzlies are [ __ ] dangerous so those are liberals in those cities making those decisions it could be even conservative people that are animal lovers that just don't understand what a bear is right they're not killing i mean the idea is that they
want to stop trophy hunting because you see like cease a little lion that kind of [ __ ] that's disgusting and it is it is a lot in a lot of ways like wanting to go and just shoot these things just to stuff them and put them on your walls there's a lot of weird [ __ ] to do but i totally understand your feelings on it i get it but the grizzly bear thing is a different thing those are the people that were raised on the cartoon and they're like stop killing these cartoons yeah the cartoon version of the animal that they saw growing up so they have no idea well even in africa the exact area where cecil the lion was killed they had to recently kill 200 lions because they're lions yeah because so many lions had uh survived because there was no hunting because they came back they came back up it's so weird it's not good it's not ideal situation is not ideal because it's so so bizarre and twisted the animals survive because people pay to kill them that's what the african wildlife model in these encaged areas is so they have like 10 000 acres or some [ __ ] like that they put it in fences right and then inside those fences you have zebras and giraffes and all these different animals and you can come over there and pay and you can go and hunt these animals that's that's a lot of the area so like this guy who that cecil guy who shot that lion he paid like fifty thousand dollars to go and hunt a lion and there's probably one a day two a day three a day so there's hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue coming in this revenue comes in for these guys that want to kill lions and what they do is they use it to raise more lions and they use it to pay professional hunting these people call professional hunters are basically game wardens to keep out poachers and to make sure that these animals don't get like rhinos don't get their horns chopped off and murdered just just for their horns things elephants for their tusks things along those lines so they need to hire people to protect against poaching because look in africa there's a lot of people that especially in these areas where they have these hunting areas these vast rural areas people are extremely poor right and they want animals to just to
eat they're going to call that poaching and they have to put so then it gets even squirrely there right it's not it's not an ideal situation by any stretch of the imagination but because no hunters were coming in now because of all the bad press after the cease of the lion [ __ ] they had to kill 200 lions because because that many like got born and grew up and because they have a real unnatural situation over there right where they're breeding these lions and then they put them in the like some every place does it a different way and some places are free range or there's no fence at all that is true there's some places that are like that right but some places it's all fenced in the whole thing's fenced in it's like it's like a fake wild yes yeah fake it's they took the wild and they made it fake right they just put a fence around the wild and then they kept introducing food and then they have lions that they keep in very specific areas and they feed them and then they'll transport them to the middle and then they the hunter comes that day and they tell them where the lion is the guy goes out there boom shoots the lion and he poses with the lion it's perverse yeah that's kind of bananas perverse yeah on the other hand these animals that are in there particularly like the antelopes and black bucks and not not neil guy and all these crazy wild [ __ ] antlered creatures they're in greater numbers than they've ever been so it's so twisted it's like the numbers are so high because people want to come in and pay to hunt them right but then the numbers are high so people can hunt them it's not like so that they can keep the whole wildlife ecology free and roam and look how vibrant africa is now that we've stepped in with all these conservation dollars not really no it's fenced in and then people drive up to a spot get out boom take a picture it's weird we [ __ ] up everything great job it's weird great job people yeah we're the best i'm reading uh an explanation of a person that has gone to this park in zimbabwe to go see the lions and they've done this in the past and they went back more recently and uh this is hilarious read this thing here
then our host gave us our safety orientation he told us to speak to the lines in a calm voice approach slowly and to pet them on their backs only then our hosts handed out skinny sticks to each of us he explained that if a lion approached us in a threatening manner we should swish the stick back and forth in the grass to distract them what what let's eat you there's jesus christ it says that they thought they were going to go see like child baby cubs you know definitely not they're like 18 months old almost you know a little bit older they're probably so they're adolescent lines yeah like this big d i saw this video like there's a tribe i don't know what part of africa but like if a cheater or like a like a cat like hunts down an animal and kills it like these these these people from this tribe like they track the hunt and then once the animal or the cat kills the food then they'll scare off this the cat i saw them take it and then it sticks and they have these little sticks yeah and then the [ __ ] cheetahs and whatever run away from them and i'm like so crazy i saw that i watched a video of that someone's instagram yeah well you got to do what you got to do when you're hungry yeah you take a chance yeah then i mean unless they have a really good weapon it's hard to get an antelope you got to get [ __ ] close right but a cheetah can just chase it down but if i'm a you would think it's it's just crazy that a human could take a cheetah's food yeah it is crazy yeah they do with lions too yeah they do with spears they they run up on lines with spears i've seen that too like female lions just roaring at people where they drag away their food there's robin a lion [Music] lion she goes back to her to the to the house and the husband's like where's the food i got robbed well what we do here in cities is so recent and so unnatural it's not like anything that anybody else has ever done before in terms of like uh human beings up until about 10 000 years ago it's never been
[ __ ] like this supermarkets and stuff like that yeah yeah all of it and no interaction at all with nature right you know our interaction with nature is reserved to you know squirrels [ __ ] pigeons and [ __ ] birds yeah having a dog even [ __ ] pigeons are weird they're brought over here as food no they were yeah they're everywhere you could kill you could eat pigeons they're delicious apparently i never had one i don't think a lot of people like they look at they just don't look at pigeons as food no yeah most people yeah 99 they have pigeon seasons actually maybe they don't have a season pigeons might be like wild pigs where they're like uh they're considered uh invasive species they're not supposed to be here they're not from here they brought them over here for squab you ever heard like squab when people eat squab nah squab is like a fancy word for a young pigeon right it's like lamb lamb is a fancy word for a young sheep how does a pigeon taste you had it right never happened oh never happened i thought you said it had it no i had squirrel how was that um is if someone told me it was chicken i would believe them oh for real yeah it tastes a lot like that which is a the most cliche [ __ ] to say ever tastes like chicken how do you know if you catch a squirrel if it's rabbit on that if you cook it you don't catch anything that's a good question i don't know the answer to that maybe rabies would die at a certain temperature squirrels are not uh well ground squirrels i was going to say squirrels are not um omnivores they're herbivores but ground squirrels i'm pretty sure eat me because i've seen videos of ground squirrels eating a mouse right oh they're [ __ ] up it seems wrong anything eating a mouse is wrong like when you feed a mouse to a snake or some [ __ ] like that it's even more wrong because it's holy in its hands dogs and cats that are currently vaccinated and kept under observation for 45 days oh what if oh can you get rabies from eating squirrel small mammals such as
squirrels rats mice hamsters guinea pigs gerbils chipmunks rabbits and hairs are almost never found to be infected with rabies okay and have not been known to cause rabies amongst humans in the united states okay so rats can't give you rabies that's interesting rat eating is about to go up i saw videos you're good yo biting the head off of a rat it's [ __ ] nasty what was biting the head over a guy a guy a man where an asian man out of chewing the whole [ __ ] thing like right off an episode of fear factor or something it was raw that's funny i think it was dead and you didn't see it moving before but it was no it's funny you wouldn't have been able to do fear factor in certain countries they would have been like where's the fair right dude like where is it what we eat that i got a lot of friends that are filipino especially back in uh when i was doing fear five because i was playing a lot of pool some of the best pool players are filipinos it's huge in pool um with pool rather but they were laughing at me they serve balut they're like we love balut the loot is this weird duck embryo it's like a delicacy but people on fear factor were terrified of it and these people like no we pay for that right we like it yeah it's great look at those people wasting the balut yeah or whatever it is they eat the beak and everything man is weird it's an embryo it's like a little it's like a little baby duck it's very strange i wonder if you'd even be able to do fear factor today i mean i know ludicrous is still doing it but they're doing a different kind of version of it right have you watched one of those episodes just to check it out no no that's like watching your ex-girlfriend get banged do you really want to see that bang badly wouldn't you want to watch her get banged badly see i was better that's a it's weird to take over someone's gig because if someone did it for so long they had a certain style how they did it please pimp my my fear factor ludicrous
right when like when um who was who did pimp my ride that was uh what's his name exactly that's right yeah whatever happened to that dude i think he's i think he's still acting and doing stuff yeah he was the pimp my ride guy yeah it was a huge show how the [ __ ] did that show go away that's you know i know that feels like yeah it feels like i could just keep it over yeah yeah it's like one of them uh pawn shop shows they never have to end yeah just keep punitious yeah do it in different countries yeah yeah yeah why why would they end maybe exhibit was like done i can't deal with these people in their cars anymore they're making all those other shows there's tons of car shows now and all those other channels pimping [ __ ] yeah but that's the best name oh yeah pimp my ride that's the best name wouldn't you say that's the best i think most of those are undrivable yeah i've there's been a lot of like reddit things where people are like asking for like uh have you ever been on pit my ride tell us about your experience or whatever and like they did so much [ __ ] to those cars that would be like okay by the way when this is over go ahead and take half that [ __ ] out so you can legally drive it down the [ __ ] freeway if you have not every time but some of the times i had to do that if you had one of those cars now from pimp alright it'll be a huge collector's item should be like worth a lot of money if you still kept it i think they started bringing it back but yeah let me see here's an article what really happened to the cars from pit my ride um i i definitely remember a couple of guys said that they had to stay in contact with a few of the like uh in-house mechanics because they had to keep getting something fixed right i believe that like they had to constantly drive back to hollywood or wherever the [ __ ] it was right that makes sense trying to find well a lot of those shows like um my buddy bud who's been on the podcast before he used to have that show uh [ __ ]
what was it called what was that show where they would steal someone's car and rebuild they would make them think their their car was stolen i can't remember his [ __ ] show goddammit it was chip foose chip foose would uh would redesign their car and they'd get this [ __ ] amazing car what the [ __ ] was the name of that show but uh bud brutzman he used to have the show rides that was a show where they built my 1970 barracuda is an overhauling overhauling that's it all right that's it shout out to bud and adrian who's the host um they uh would take a car and they'd they'd do it in like a really short amount of time and then after it was over they would have to like tighten it all up and when they do a build a car they have a shakedown period where like they drive it for a few hundred miles to make sure there's nothing goes wrong everything's working right it's like this period of time to make sure that everything's dialed in right they don't get a chance to do that in a week right so that's probably what they're talking about yeah this pin my right thing i'm reading through it like some of the contestants said they had to dumb up like they had to completely just play the game of this is a tv show exaggerate let's dump a bunch of cigarette butts in your car and make it look shittier than it is and then hey when we show it to you please be [ __ ] happy when you see this we can have a good like reaction for tv kind of thing that's disappointing yeah god damn it pimp my rod how dare you that's every show though yeah that's every show any like like hg tv show oh yeah or just hoarders yeah like we're gonna have to hoard your place up even more probably right yeah like like preppers those people probably make them extra crazy i never seen purpose what's that about people were prepping for the apocalypse oh yeah yeah yeah listen we know you're crazy but we're going to make you look even crazier even down even crazier
yeah i don't know man or intervention you know what's interesting to me it's typically right-wing people who uh are in favor of like if you think about uh anytime someone passes a law that's bad for the environment right if they want to drill in alaska if they want to do something over it's usually i mean it might be generalizing but usually thought to be a right wing thing right right it's like more concern for business than concern for the environment right people that are on the left are the people that are always like the tree huggers those are the environmental so the people that are like radical environmentalists you would almost always think of as people on the left right but the people that are prepping for [ __ ] going south are almost always on the right the right wing people are the ones prepping the world yeah those are the ones that are carrying bullets and they're [ __ ] digging tunnels in their backyard so you know what you're doing you know you're destroying the earth by digging for oil and all that [ __ ] but it's not them it's usually the bigwigs right right the big but they're voting and they're in favor of all those decisions that the bigwigs yes make inadvertently because the bigwigs have connected themselves to jesus right that's what they did that's what the the wise thing they did yeah the good fat old-fashioned family values and jesus they figured a way to to connect it to a thing that everybody can't argue against right the connected right-wing ideology with god and left-wing with abortion killing babies right the lion the sand's been drawn ian if you're prepping for the end of the world right you gotta secretly be hoping for the end of the world maybe a little bit of end because you try your [ __ ] yeah just to try your [ __ ] and to say i wasn't crazy right and wasting my time so you got to kind of be rooting for the end of the world like you don't want to you know
do all that [ __ ] in vain right you know what i mean so that's kind of a weirdness to those type of people that's a good point you know i mean like you started doing comedy and there's people like you're never going to make it you want to make it to be like you were wrong and to just the relief of knowing you were right well i think that's a problem with cops i think cops want to shoot people sometimes they have a gun and they almost want someone to do something [ __ ] up so they can shoot them not every cop not everybody not every cop right but there are certain people that should not be cops right exactly those people that become cops and it does happen and we all know and i'm a 100 supporter of law enforcement but even law enforcement they know it they don't want to be surrounded by some weak [ __ ] who's also a cop who wants to shoot people right there's people out there that want to shoot people and you give them a gun if you give someone a hammer everything looks like a nail it's amazing yeah i remember the video and this was a white cop shooting a white guy the arizona one i think was in the hotel yeah and that guy that guy he's like how did he become a cop how did he not go to jail yes they let him off the hook for that one they always kind of let them off the hook they'll give him a slap on the wrist and just get them out of there and the instructions he was giving this guy was telling him to keep your hands away from your waist because his pants were falling down yeah and the guy was saying that to him too yeah and he he's just crying and crawling towards him like helplessly the guy reaches because his pants fell down and grabs a hold of his pants to pull him up the guy fills his back up with bullets shoots him in the back on the floor crawling the guys of no threat was yelling making the situation even more chaotic he's also telling the guy to do something why are you making a move just tell him to lie down yes put his hands behind his back you handcuff him and then not he he was ordering the guy to crawl towards him yeah it doesn't even make sense did you see this video earlier this week this was from july 1st yes yeah the guy
is crazy this is crazy this is what's called suicide by cop this guy was coming towards this cop screaming with a knife and the cop was begging him to please stop please stop this is after they already shot him jamie i know but meanwhile he wants up tackling this [ __ ] guy this is what's crazy this guy's already been shot and he turns on this cop and tackles him right here tackles him look at this the guy's filled with bullets and the guy's reaching for his gun he gets his back and he takes him down and then this doesn't have that knife he doesn't have the knife anymore does he yeah i don't know i can't tell if it's in his hand right there it's hard to see did you see the video of the black cop walking towards the guy with the machete yes i did see that and he just like walked right into it and just parried and flipped him over yeah yeah it was crazy that is crazy i saw another one eddie bravo sent me of a was not a cop one but dude two dudes are having a conversation this guy's got his hand behind the back and uh he pulls a knife out of his pocket and the guy doesn't even see and he just in the middle of the conversation just sticks him in the stomach and the guy's standing there he moves back and he's like holding his stomach he can't believe it and the guy comes towards him again follows him and the guy who got stabbed winds up knocking the dude out the guy's coming towards him with the knife again saying i'll stab you again the guy hits him with a left hook and rocks him and then hits him with the right hand and knocks him out and these are regular dudes regular dudes looks like regular dudes but the dude who got stabbed knew how to fight luckily for him but he still might die in the stomach that is [ __ ] very dangerous man very dangerous yeah what were we talking about what are you doing i'm just looking at i'm trying to find the video that guy getting stabbed yeah it was not okay so much this is just something that's a lot of [ __ ] so much to just freak you out yeah i don't i don't even look at some of the bad stuff anymore a lot of it yeah like
like i saw at the beginning of that video when it came out like last week i ain't watching this i just like turned it off yeah you can't watch that yeah there's so many videos you'll get convinced that that's happening everywhere in the world 24 hours a day it'll [ __ ] your head up yeah exactly yeah yeah goddammit it's easy to get freaked out yeah i mean there's a lot of freakable [ __ ] out there there is this is as good as spot as i need to talk about this um we i want to make sure i clarify something because there was some there was an operation this is a guy who was a billionaire diamond guy who uh wound up getting a dick enlargement operation and he died because of the anesthesia and he was in another country and we pulled out we we were saying somehow or another it got connected to this company that does that in the united states it had nothing phenomenal yeah the article i had said like he was getting a similar surgery and that this one the one only the pneumonia only happens in the u.s but he was getting something done in europe so it was like different well they reached out to me to explain first of all the guy died from anesthesia you can get in you could die from anesthesia from any operation had nothing to do with the the penis enlargement operation to use the more correct term dick enlargement uh but he didn't die from that and that's just as safe as uh getting your nose fixed or getting your knee meniscus operated on right it's just the any surgery where you have uh anesthesia carries a certain amount of risk but apparently this dick thing works they actually can grow your dick bigger now well if you're risking your life better work well you're risking your life if you go to the dentist yeah i don't know what you wonder like any time you get put under right if you if you if you anything you're doing with anesthesia there's a very small chance
that something could go wrong but it had nothing to do with this dick operation so i just wanted to make sure that people know that if you look this up i don't want anything any uh incorrect assumptions to be out there and i carry no ill will towards this these people that make this and apparently it works so i just want everybody to know that it carry no ill will towards this company that makes dicks bigger apparently it actually it's a weird thing right like uh for a man to do that there's certain taboos that are involved in even admitting that you have an issue like a little dick is a weird thing right because it's one of the rare things that's unfortunate that you can make fun of right like you can't make fun of a little person right like if you make fun of a person who's this uh you know you're not supposed to call them midgets right right you supposed to call them little people right you make fun of a person who's a dwarf or a little person you're a cruel person right but if you make fun of a guy with a little dick like something he deserves it sometimes he deserves it or some [ __ ] that's a weird thing that women are allowed to do like you're allowed to make fun of dudes having little dicks we should there should be something in the same vein yes to protect right because if you have a little [ __ ] that's fantastic everybody's excited about it isn't that crazy what a weird situation but a big dick is a sign of a reality right so we we salute you panuma that's the name of the company we salute you for helping men achieve larger dicks yeah and i almost died from anesthesia one time i thought you were going to say from a dick in life what happened when i was like a teenager and here's the irony i was going in for an operation that you're supposed to go in in the morning and leave in the afternoon oh it's just a quick thing and then it was literally for a circumcision i was like you were getting a circumcision yeah what were you doing i i just had sex with this girl like i was a kid
like seven like say 18 and uh and somehow it pulled the skin of my dick back ah i couldn't get it back oh i did that to clean it and i couldn't get the the skin back right over so then i spent like an entire night with like a raw boner with no skin covering it so i went to the doctor then he got it back over and he said you should get a circumcision so one time operation just go in and you don't have to worry about this [ __ ] happening again but it only happened once right yeah but but you were furiously beaten off though right what do you mean no no no i just i pulled the skin yeah yeah officer i was cleaning the gun when it shot my neighbor no i was cleaning there there was [ __ ] under there yeah so then i went in and they gave me the anesthesia and then when i woke up there was like a hose down my throat and people were frantic around me and it was like nighttime it was way past the time i was supposed to come back come to and uh the the anesthesia gave me pneumonia i ended up spending like two one and a half to two weeks in the hospital and the first few days was in intensive care oh yeah wow anesthesia i did not like wake up holy [ __ ] yeah you almost died getting your dick operated on yeah just i was almost that guy and but for the most part listen you're talking to someone who's had a bunch of surgeries i've had my nose fixed i've had my arm broken my hands i've had my knees operated on three times i've had three knee surgeries i've been put under quite a few times it's
mostly safe yeah it's really about the anesthesiologist hey jamie just somebody at the door try to try to figure out that's the security guard okay why is he doing that wandering around he's got a plan i have no idea he's he's got a chair there he must be hanging out up there today i don't know some people are weird man you never know you know when you get into uber do you know that they how much background do they do on uber so i was trying to explain when you're asking the other day i was like to get the like approval on your app to be like yes this car can drive uber is one thing but once you have that anybody you know can be behind that they don't like scan your face when you're in the car every time or anything like that just yeah i got the uber bro use it you know so if you and i got an uber like i could use your uber and i could drive around and pretend i'm you you could get caught sure but like people definitely do that right but how many people get caught driving no not [ __ ] not yeah right right whoever saw that coming rideshare being remember when you were a kid and there was kid taxis whoever thought man i could have my own taxi they used to have a [ __ ] called gypsy taxis and they would arrest those people yeah in new york yes yes yeah they would arrest them for trying to do the uber thing why don't they get an uber why would they be a gypsy cat five bucks this is before that though it was a year that i lived in new york that some insane number of gypsy cab drivers got murdered insane oh for real it was something like 40 plus in a year got murdered so it was almost one a week they were killing gypsy cab drivers they would rob them and kill them did they ever catch that guy i don't know if it was just going behind those people they were they were just deciding that these gypsy cab drivers i think this was you know boy we're talking like probably like 1990s 1992 or some [ __ ] like that like there was no uh there was no internet and there was i don't know if people were paying ever with credit cards no cash it was all cash yeah so if you're a gypsy cab driver they saw you as being someone who
had a lot of cash on you and then you can't report it to the police because you're a gypsy cab driver so you shouldn't even be doing it yeah but they would just kill them but if you're a criminal yeah it's a great crime yeah like it's a smart crime like i'm gonna rob somebody that shouldn't be doing what they're doing for a living so they can't really report them report to the police that i'm robbing you yeah but they would shoot them and kill them the thing is they would just shoot them in the head yeah it's like they would be considered like maybe these people were illegals maybe these people didn't have a lot of documentation maybe when they killed them it would be a dead end because they wouldn't know what to do maybe they were here by themselves maybe they figured the cops don't care about they would definitely figure the cops don't care yeah and you know because it's cash and because it's not it's there's no meter right so it's like there's no record of everything right how many did you find anything about that i quickly just googled it there was one i found a story from new york times 1983 there's a weekend where 11 people were murdered but the story just has a story of one guy that was found in the front seat of a gypsy cab murdered could have been a shot could have been a nice it was the 1990s okay it was the 1990s it was definitely while i moved there i think i moved to new york in 91. i think i lived from there from 91 i lived back and forth in 92. here's our story from 1990 a sixth cabbage laying in the bronx but it's new york times it's just the pay ball thing yeah the fifth one was killed yeah i think there was a there was a long stretch where it started to become a big deal but it's i mean if there was 40 wall street guys murdered murders 1990s originated the creation of pirate tax yes that's kind of the article about it 19 180 drivers since 1990 180 drivers have lost their lives while on duty in the streets which averages more than two per month wow that's crazy i don't know if that's regular i don't know
i don't know either it might just be cab drivers but um you know because gypsy cab drivers how do you prove that guy was a gypsy cab driver you just got a dead guy in a car with a bullet in the back of the head right and then you have to ask his friends was this guy gypsy cab driving maybe it was it was a certain style of car too because so that passengers could identify it as a jizzy cab so that they could take it right and it's like if you're taking a gypsy cab you have limited amount of money and you you don't want to pay a cab but you want to get to where you're going you have to be identifiable here it is cabbies risk death uh daily in new york jungle under siege crime hours are long and the mortality rate high so far this year 32 taxi drivers have been killed by armed robbers posing as customers yeah and i think that's just regular taxi drivers yeah that's a rough gig man yeah now when we were living in new york imagine if just now you go there it's just ubers everywhere everybody's ubering everybody's just using their phones standing out like the comedy store has become a [ __ ] disaster trying to get oh yeah yeah that's a pain in the ass and they just pull up and block the driveway they don't give a [ __ ] and no one stops them yeah and they're just going in there left and right but just blocking everything dropping people off picking people up yeah it's never ending you can never get in there it's weird it's like a new thing that no one saw coming what could be that like let's let's play garyvee here what's next what what what could what could we get oh on the front lines of something like that the scooter stuff is crazy there's like a one-year pilot program i think they're calling it for los angeles county that's why they're more and more have popped up i think they're just sort of saying we're going to do a year figured out no one is going to be like taken down for doing this or like they were trying in santa monica to get rid of them for a minute like the bird scooters and whatnot they've ramped it up completely there's all sorts of electronic bikes now there's at least i want to say six
or seven different companies just in hollywood where i live they're just everywhere laying all over the sidewalks but that's sort of what they're trying to figure out is how do you leave them around where are you going to leave them is it successful i don't know how many taxes they're paying and how like how much money the city gets brought in but yeah i don't mind them but it's just dangerous walking because i was walking down the street one day and i was about to just you know you're just walking but you just change your stride a little bit to go to the right and i almost got hit by one and it was coming fast and i'm like it's the sidewalk you know what i mean like you could it could be serious assets the problem in l.a is that you're supposed to be on the street with those it says do not ride these on the sidewalk but it is a hundred percent not safe to be on the streets of la on those because people are getting run over and i don't know if anybody's died but like downtown l.a somebody driving 50 miles an hour ran over someone on the sidewalk or on a scooter like why the [ __ ] you're driving so fast downtown also yeah well there's people that are crazy hitting runs happen anyway they happen all over the place and then there's [ __ ] you know people are going to shoot cab drivers they're going to run over scooter drivers yeah they're everywhere though it's weird to see them and they've started to ban them in certain places right some neighborhoods have tried like west hollywood you kind of can't leave them anywhere but i think they're cities that's like west hollywood city yeah but i mean outside of california i mean other cities have just said no more yeah you know vegas you can't no [ __ ] way could you have them in vegas drunk people right yeah oh my god strong people on scooters drunk people on scooters and drunk people driving while you're on a scooter yeah that's fine plus weed now weed yeah how good was vegas it was a good time it was a good time yeah it's just fun you just had me
thinking about what could be next oh yeah what could be next like if we didn't see scooters coming we didn't see uber coming what would be the next one what do we what do we need what do we need we need protection from the ocean the ocean's going to rise up take us let's get it we're melting the ice caps it's going to [ __ ] we're going to have to move to tucson boats they're making more subways here right now yeah they're going to fill up with water what a good news those are gonna be canals we'll use those for the toilet yeah we're gonna throw our [ __ ] down those tubes look i i wonder man i mean there was some [ __ ] that i was reading today about the ice caps melting at an accelerated rate it's always it's never good news whenever it's like ice cap melting news like hey we just found out uh we actually have more ice than we thought we're good all right don't worry about it does that mean vegas can get water now no vegas gets their water figure they figure it out there's so much money in vegas they just just steal it where do they get it from a hole in the ground no idea is there a well out there all i know they got good water pressure in every hotel i've ever been in it's wonderful yeah look that's a human ingenuity and they're building more [ __ ] yeah and if the uh ice caps do melt it'll just bring it closer to vegas right vegas will use it yeah the water will be like real close yeah i mean we just move inside to the middle like this is what people have been doing forever this idea that you're supposed to be able to keep your [ __ ] house on the water in santa monica nice and crazy i know yeah yeah you decided to build a house where the beach is your front yard that is so nuts you think those cliffs were always there this [ __ ] was different decades before so keep on thinking it's going to be like that all the time yeah if you buy like a a seaside house in like marina del rey or someone really nice you're making a gamble like over the next i'm only going to be alive for 40 more years right over those years i'm gonna let's let's hope right that this
water stays over there exactly stays put let's hope mother nature yeah does what i want it to do yeah i just i'm gonna spend seven million dollars in this [ __ ] house with literally no backyard it's just ocean and i'm just gonna hope it stays like this i just can't wait till my crib becomes beachfront property and then i can sell it i've rented a beach house a couple of years ago when um my kitchen i was getting my kitchen fixed and uh we we rented this house in malibu on the water it was beautiful man you just you you would wake up you eat breakfast yeah and just be sitting there staring out over the water and the water would literally come almost underneath the balcony so it looked like you were sitting in water right like you were floating and while you're on a boat i was like wow this is so beautiful it's so it makes you feel so good yeah it does being by the ocean but what a gamble yeah even though it's the that's like you sound like that's the ultimate infinity pool yeah you know what i'm saying but yeah i don't mind like la jolla you have the condo right by the beach and then and you go to sleep at night you can hear the ocean you wake up but then i'll be like what if it's this is the night this is the night where it comes in here just takes the building down and rushes it out to the mountains i mean that's happened so many times in history yeah all it takes is a earthquake or an asteroid hits the ocean oh yeah oh my god if an asteroid hit the ocean it we wouldn't even be safe here we wouldn't be safe we probably wouldn't be safe in arizona it would go deep into arizona asteroid to hit the [ __ ] ocean just outside of malibu boom just a big one everybody in the midwest be laughing they'd be laughing around i said we had the best property all the time yeah so we had to duck hurricanes they have the scariest [ __ ] i think uh tornadoes are the scariest [ __ ] yeah those things are so random and they happen every year right every year it's not like earthquakes happen every year a hurricane you can track you know it's coming you can prepare yeah you can just
leave a tornado is just like to just show up hey man i'm here yeah yeah that's the scariest yeah but that's just something that people deal with when they you see they wipe out entire towns yeah they wipe they take towns off the map i feel like they just always aim for these small towns well i think it has to do with the with agriculture if i'm right i think it has to do with like flat areas and the type of weather that they have and i don't think they take place in areas where there's a lot of trees and forests is that true it's more like they don't really happen in cities right because the heat structure and it creates like where the pressure air pressure starts because it's a hot cold air pressure system that kind of starts swirling so because of the artificial concrete and all those stuff that's why tornadoes almost protect the bubble it does happen in cities from time to time more like on the outskirts but like it's very rare to see one roll through a downtown but does one ever go through like colorado yeah i'm looking one up right here as you're saying trees i got a video of one like just ripping trees up in texas so like but it does mostly yes for sure on flat texas has them yeah but yeah well texas uh texas is a lot of crazy wind but it's so close to oklahoma oklahoma's like tornado valley so anywhere around there there was one that was on tv that was mad it was hitting this area where they had these oil trucks and it was carrying these semi trucks in the air i don't know if they're oil trucks they're semis like like you know like a 16 wheeler like [ __ ] truck in like that it was flying in a circle in the sky like a [ __ ] newspaper yeah a page from a newspaper gets caught in the wind and starts flying around this this [ __ ] tornado was carrying trucks like that what was in this video this is in missouri earlier this year um new stuff okay yeah but there's a video of oh that's it right there that's the video this is a video where you see look
at this why you see the trucks as they get closer you can see inside the [ __ ] thing that is a truck flying in a circle if this is the same video that's hard to tell there's i don't know if that's it yeah that's after oh that's that's the seminar after it lands i mean that might not have even been that but it was one where there was probably so many [ __ ] tornado videos but it was one where these trucks were literally flying around in a circle like it was carrying this gigantic semi and just floating it in the air like a paper airplane was it from twister though was it some fake footage no no it was real it was real some news footage from television it seems like then it's hard to catch that because all these are just already on the ground yeah i know it wasn't from a distance but there was some news footage anyway we're [ __ ] rambling speaking around with ian edwards comedy special oh yeah when's it coming out uh friday at midnight on comedy central oh [ __ ] why did you decide to do it in that style it's kind of interesting you did like a ted talk uh because there's so many specials out there and i get to do my material when i do it that way but add a little twist and an extra layer to it and that'll make people be more interested in it than if i was just going to do like just a regular stand up that's smart you clever bastard once in a while i got an idea you know what i'm saying and you got the microphone a regular microphone just sitting on the stool in case you change your mind well the last bit i used the mic you noticed that yeah yeah it did yeah the last bit i do with the mic what is in your hand uh the clicker because because some of the topics are put on the screen like just like a ted talk you know you talk you click the thing the picture represents what you're talking about and then you keep on going i i've seen people do that before um with uh with with ted talks and i've always thought that would be a good thing with comments oh right yeah yeah because like even when you look at your stand-up you take on a topic
you dissect it yeah and you give people an alternate view of that topic just like a tech talk and then you move on to the next one so like comics like you and me and other people it's a perfect format for our stand up yeah are you doing that when you do when you headline when you do headline gigs no no maybe you should maybe i thought about doing that oh right yeah you did yeah i did i thought about it at one point in time but i'm too lazy yeah yeah like i don't have merch or anything so i don't bring it much i don't want to have to make sure they have a screen or transport one and all that [ __ ] then that's true then it gets cumbersome well i heard that kevin hart at one point in time had pyrotechnics like he had hit a punch line bam and 20 foot tall flames to chew through the sky in arenas i'm like man that's when that's you you add to the stand-up right it's like props but way better right like i feel like props are the rare one of the rare things where you can't do them anymore because carrot top owns that whereas when i was a kid man there was prop comedians yeah there was a lot of them right jamie you don't know about anything i just remember a lot of ventriloquists and some people that were doing little prop things but yeah no one really had that truck full of there'd be the comic that show up to the mic yeah with a briefcase yeah and then afterwards he has to gather stuff like a stripper yeah duffel bag yeah they have to stuff everything in there yeah there was a guy that was uh he was really funny man a guy in boston that used to do that [ __ ] i'm blanking on his name but he had glasses and he had a real similar kind of act but it was kind of like science based he had a bunch of weird [ __ ] that he would call it alex zurby nope okay no it was a long time ago you ever seen chips cooney chips cooney i've heard the name yeah he he had props but he he was a fake magician really so like remember the name of that tupperware that's right
that's expanded yeah like that was one of his tricks it's just all goofballs but he was funny like you know and then pull it out that's the trick and just keep going on to the next goofy thing there was a guy named lenny schultz and he uh i remember remember crazy lenny yeah he had a bunch of props yeah i watched uh steve burns documentary on the amazing jonathan that he just put out it was really good was it yeah i liked as a younger kid i i liked him just because of his zany crazy right [ __ ] he did but watching the documentary is awesome so good job doing that what is it yes shout out to steve burns what is it basically about like he lived in access right yeah it's definitely about that sort of like his rise and maybe i would say fall but then sort of how he came back he almost died there's a lot to about this fan that became his manager and sort of he helped him and guided him along and apprenticed him a little bit and just bought the relationship and pulled footage together and it was just interesting he's an interesting guy wow yeah those guys from the [ __ ] 80s went hard man that was the kinnison era you know yeah if you wanted to be a wild man you have an innocent card yeah coconut snort coke on stage he's just like make a joke about it it's supposed to be fake coke but he was really i'm really doing it like a lot so he made a bit yeah huh that was not a prop that's real [ __ ] yeah well i bet people have done a lot of weasley [ __ ] like that like just put something into their act to pull something off you know like i would think like it's a one of the cooler things about comedy is also one of the weirder things that it's so open-ended like the club just like you get booked to the brea improv right right you show up like what's up ian how are you man you know you're like hey this is my opening act they shake hands everybody's cool they don't even ask you what you're going to talk about right they got everybody sitting there people have paid money they've sold tickets they sold drinks and they have not a
clue as to what you're going to discuss and you just go up there and say whatever the [ __ ] you want america love it crazy yeah what a weird way to make a living yeah and then you do the same thing for like a tv show or something you have to type it out yeah send it to them they gotta look at it that's the beautiful thing about netflix netflix didn't say [ __ ] they just said hey we wanna do uh we wanna do a special with you i said great all right let's do it they said okay let's do it it was that easy we did it and they said okay great you did it we like it we put it up boom i had to send comedy central uh a proof of concept yeah like i had to shoot the set like in a small club send it to them and they're like all right okay ugh yeah well the good news is they approved right it's on tv and a special is always in my opinion really just an advertisement to get people to come see you right exactly live right so i'm glad that advertisement's out oh yeah because me too i've said it before i'll say it again while you're here you're one of the best comics in the world the show listen i so many times people come up to me rogan was talking about you like why don't you have to be on the show like they're like rogan's talking about you and so like people will come up come to a show because you just spoke about me but it's true though man you and i have been friends for 20 what 28 years or so [ __ ] something crazy yeah it's a long [ __ ] time but you've always been one of the best comics in the world you know and i think right now youtube brother your new [ __ ] man oh yeah you're doing that's not even the special yeah i was crying this weekend in vegas that new thing i want to say what it is but god damn it's good it's really good man i love that you know i love the transition between when someone does a special to writing and working on new stuff because then you just get this new angles and and having to write [ __ ] it's like i've been trying to tell this
to bobby lee who's another guy that is one of the best comics in the world and it's a [ __ ] shame that bobby lee doesn't have a special and he doesn't you know it's like his thing is like well no no i won't be able to use that in my materials exactly like yeah but you'll write better stuff you'll be forced to i think he's shooting a special though yes he's talking about it yeah because he asked me who directed mine so i was like wait a minute is bobby about to shoot a special but he'll see how what you've seen and what i'm seeing now that how great it is to like come up with a new set of material with all their abilities yeah it's very terrifying yeah i've had some some amazing medial cassettes oh jesus i feel bad i know when you just first trot out new stuff it's like you don't know yeah you just don't know and then you said something the other day when he was in vegas he was talking to ali like where's all in the back after the show about how you had a joke that was new it was working you wrote it it's new it's working and then you broke it by over fixing it yeah then you had to take [ __ ] back out and that's happened to me during this new set of material too i started the joke created it and then broke it by over doing stuff to it and then i had to like figure out what part that i put in there that threw it off and take it out and fix it back well it's always interesting to talk to someone that's really just a few years into comedy because then you're going to go over your own process and think about it more yeah yeah the one of the things that happens in jiu jitsu is uh in jiu jitsu you get better when you teach it's real strange like a lot of guys that wind up getting a job teaching jiu jitsu to like beginners their jiu jitsu jumps it jumps up several notches it's really interesting and i think sometimes that happens with comedy so when we're dealing with something like ali shout out to ali makovsky yeah our friend ali she's only been doing comedy for what four years somewhere around four four five years and she's just coming into her own and she's what was she 22 all right 22 23 22
or 23 very funny very promising and uh she was going to come down and watch us because she came to san diego to watch when tony and andrew and i did that uh that giant arena down there because she's because she opens up for me all the time at the improv and the comedy store she's getting to be around all these assassins and she's getting to see it from the outside but that was her first time opening right and i was like because she said she was going to come down to watch and said you want to do a set and she's like i was secretly hoping you would ask i said all right come on come on so she opened she did 10 minutes in front of you know it's like 1200 people it's a lot of people right for her first big show in vegas on a friday night she murdered and she did good she did great yeah super relaxed and but when you're talking to someone who's uh up and coming like that i love that i love i love talking to like jesus jesus trio or like you know frank castillo or any of these young guys coming up because you get a chance to talk to them about how you formulate stuff and you compare notes and sometimes they have interesting ways that they deal with that i've never considered you know and sometimes people have interesting ways of thinking about their material they think about it when they go walk their dog they'll play their set in their ear or they'll you know when they go on hikes they'll just go on a hike and think about one joke and try to work the joke out while they're hiking yeah i've learned a lot from like talking to younger comics too so i get that completely you also the the thing that's happening to you right now is the thing that happens to them except the fact that you're far more skilled at it it's like they're trying to put together an act but you've already done it many many times you've already put out specials and records so that when you're doing this it's like you know how to write jokes you're always writing new jokes you've been doing comedy forever but it's still you're starting from jump yeah when you start from zero from ground zero like and then you try to put together an act that you hope people want to pay to see that's a terrifying
spirit that's terrifying yeah and then there was a part of it in this new set of material that i was doing wrong like like just the style of joke that i was writing and i just felt off like even when some of the bits were working and then i was in atlanta a few weeks ago and then it just hit me what i was doing wrong hmm i was in the laughing skull yeah i was doing laughing so fast yeah it's a dope ass club dope little room yeah and it's a great room to go headlining when you're like got new material yeah you need to just work out yeah i i say about those rooms like the belly room and like the laughings call like that's where you find out what's [ __ ] yeah and i found out what was [ __ ] for sure because sometimes you can like song and dance your way through a 300-seat room yeah trick them like enough people will start laughing to get the other people laughing but and then you'll kind of go along with it and with your delivery and you can kind of make funny out of it but there's no momentum with 70 people yeah you have to like really make them laugh it's got to be real yeah with 70 people you got you know i did uh jeremiah watkins show stand up on the spot on tuesday that's the best example of that because you're also they're yelling out subjects right you know and so you just get to and you find out and find and but that also like constructing a new set what's interesting about it is that you get a chance to figure something out and make it real what like bobby lee's doing right now is working with tried and true material tried and proven he kills every night he knows it's going to kill if it didn't kill he'd be stunned right he'd be like what this is my [ __ ] i've been killing with this for four years he knows what he's doing yeah he's just a funny machine i don't even know how to describe it just as it's just him he's just a funny ass [ __ ] yeah so funny and people don't not enough people know because most people
know him from podcasts and that helps for sure and from television shows that helps for sure right but there needs to be something people could see of his stand-up yeah so we're getting him he's listening it's like he's a slow but he'll listen right it takes a little time he listens he's getting in there it's getting in there he's too good yeah he's too good the other one's owen smith yeah yes owen smith good yeah too good has his own style [ __ ] funny he's a murderer yeah man he's a top flight headliner not like a good headliner like a top of the food chain headliner yeah like if someone told me owen smith was selling out arenas i'd be like good should have been happening a long time exactly yes you know and as much as kevin hart or [ __ ] fill in the blank whoever can sell out giant ass places owen smith's material is as good as it can it belongs in those places 100 100 and sometimes these guys they just don't do they don't do enough uh road work or they don't do enough they got writing jobs or something takes them off the path where people don't necessarily see they do a lot of acting yeah it's all different little paths that kind of deviate you away from from stand up right and i think i went i went down that path when i was on fear factor oh yeah and i was on fear factor i didn't really tour much you know it was mostly just being around l.a because it was filming so much right we filmed so many episodes and you guys traveled a lot to different places yeah yeah that [ __ ] is exhausting man exhausting yeah and it was exhausting too because you'd be filming all day you'd be out in the heat and then you would come back and you know after that i would do stand-up at night and i was just like i'm just gonna just do the store and then go home right i wasn't gonna travel anywhere i mean i did a little bit but not much so it's like things can be good where it's like it's great to have a good gig right but things those things can be bad because it ultimately takes you away from your stand up i mean louis ck said that to me once he was in the period after he stopped doing his show yeah he
just stopped doing it for a while and he said i haven't done anything other than stand up for a year and i said well what made you do that he goes i just wanted to really concentrate on stand up he said i don't think you could be at your best while you do other things right he goes i think you could be good but i think at your best you really have to just do stand up yeah i think he's right oh he's right even if you don't do much in that day and if you just write one line or one tag or something as this it just counts so much towards the whole thing and by the end of the year where you where you end up is going to be way further than you would have been i think it's not an even formula though because i do think that there's some value in taking some time and doing things as well right there's like there's value in like vacations yeah there's value and experiences yeah and then there's also you have to do a lot of stand up there's like both things are true because if you only do stand-up one of the things that does happen is guys lose their point of references right because their whole life revolves around traveling so you get a lot of airplane jokes right and it revolves around drinking because people drink at clubs you don't have enough experiences yeah you got to live a little yes yes to put it on the paper yeah you got to live a little i think that's uh that's something that gets missed but it's like it's not a perfect formula it's also like how much enthusiasm do you have like sometimes the more enthusiasm like when you have you feel good about it when you take time off and it makes you better right you just have to know it's just like an athlete like like in england the soccer season is over right so the soccer players go on vacation but while they're on vacation you got to get in a month or so you got to get back to training in a month or so but you can't go back to camp out of shape so there's a point where you have to be with a trainer while you're kind of off for the season getting in shape so that
when you go to camp you're not out of shape and you're losing your spot on it it's just there's a this is a delicate balance of everything yeah that makes sense and also it's so insanely competitive right there's so many people lined up ready to take your spot yeah you can't get fat when you're on vacation but so is comedy is like when you uh shoot a special and then the guy that couldn't follow you it's killing because he still has his material that he's been had and you're like not doing as good because you're working on [ __ ] yeah it kind of it kind of [ __ ] with me a little bit yeah yeah you know what i mean just the competitiveness offer sure and then i said hey man this is just a natural order of things just keep doing what you're doing and and everything is going to be fine you'll figure it out you're growing again there's nothing wrong with that whenever new bits come to life and they start to really work i go okay this just trust in the process this is what happens you trust the process keep grinding but you have to do that if there's no if if you don't put in that time if you just decide oh i need a new act but you don't work on it it's not going to just show up you have to you have to make that that process is a real thing right and there's going to be some sets just suck yeah man for sure like yeah like yeah you take one old joke go on stage and there's butter add to it yeah but one thing that's true for sure for me is that when someone like you is writing new stuff and that new stuff kills like this past weekend that makes me excited about writing new [ __ ] i go oh my god they're it's out there i gotta find it i gotta find the bits right they're out there look he just found two giant juicy ones you know giant juices it's like someone coming back from a fishing trip oh look at this is that tuna i'm calling an official that's hilarious it's out there oh it's out there there's gold in san francisco yes go dig it it's golden in our hills but i always see you go find new material so it's it's always good like like we both had new [ __ ] this weekend yeah and we're enthusiastic about it and
exciting about it so it it adds a different level to just going out to do a show that we would normally do right then we get to talk about it afterwards with the excitement of how new the material is and and how it's coming along and it just that's that's the level of fun right there you don't experience unless you're you're out there writing and growing yeah there's no other way around it and i think that's a metaphor for life i think the people that get stagnant in life things because you're not taking any chances you're not doing anything new you're not growing yeah you gotta i mean and artistically with standup it's one of the rare art forms where you cannot do the old stuff right they don't mean maybe jim gaffigan people want to hear hot pockets but they also want to hear a hour a new [ __ ] right you maybe should burp chrysler they want to hear the machine story he says they get mad if you don't he doesn't tell them he tells the machine story just take his shirt off he's mad at his clothes when he starts taking his pants off and then just puts them back on hey [ __ ] pants on why are your pants on bro how dare you we're all partying pants free that'd be his new shirt party and pants free hilarious yeah party with no pants or party and pants free party and pants pants free yeah yeah burt crusher there you go that's the name of your new special party and pants free just you fat as [ __ ] with boxer shorts they're talking [ __ ] about sober october how do you watch it this would be way better tiny white house go all in yeah but boxer shorts when he moves funny his [ __ ] will open up a little bit and get a pier well how about the speedos how about bert on stage with speedos on speedos don't seem like a comfort move seems like a bad decision yeah but that's not someone who really wants their dick to be caressed and cradled details are like you're punishing your dick it's like you're it's like a tent in a storm nailing it down punishing it or showing it off right yeah if you've got a hog yeah instead of getting a penis enlargement by speedos yeah just put uh just take your circumcised dick and pull it all
the way down so it's a full erection very man and then put a a ring a rubber ring around the base of the balls to contract all the blood constrict all the blood yeah that's a weird thing that someone figured that out right [ __ ] rings yeah hmm how do i uh how do i stay hard here it's gotta be a way let's put a rubber band in the pressure dick viagra yeah yikes yeah that's a one thing that if they do ever come out i i used to have a bit about that if they ever come out with a pill for how to like a boner or a dick enlargement pill if that actually works it'd be 30 seconds later the first dude would die of an overdose oh yeah you're not gonna just take one you're gonna find out how many give me a stroke yeah how big did you want it jesus christ yeah i had a whole there was a whole sequence where women would evolve because people would just have sex but the dicks would get bigger and the women would develop these flying squirrel [ __ ] they would just jump off cliffs to get away from dudes who were chasing after them with their big dicks and shopping carts it's hilarious big girl wings why are women growing wings just to fit so people could mate yeah if you could grow a big like have you ever watched a porn and said that's just too much yeah yeah yeah it's like there's a comes a certain point in time where like how big do you want your arms right yes you want a big arm or do you want an arm where the bicep touches your fingers when you go like this right do you want that oh you can't even move yeah that's crazy it's too big yeah right that means that means you can never do this you can't do anything like this oh yeah you probably can't even walk yeah you're just too heavy you're probably waddling everywhere you go you weigh 600 pounds and you're five eight how the [ __ ] are you doing that right there's a is too much you can get too much yeah you can get too much dick but i bet it's like you get too much bad it's like those girls who get uh body dysmorphia with their breast socks oh
yes some girls go crazy like they have triple e's and they need them an f they get nuts that's crazy they don't see it like the way you're saying it that's how it happens with anorexics bodybuilders yeah yeah and it's goddamn bananas it is the dick thing is a it's a weird one right yeah that will definitely it's definitely gonna happen since women overdo it with the breast size like you say they can't see how weird it looks yeah it's a normal thing with humans yeah have you seen those guys uh that inject their muscles with oil and it makes their muscles swell up like balloons it looks so fake but they they don't see it they're it's body dysmorphia it's the same thing that an anorexic gets and they don't recognize that they're they're look like a skeleton when was at the airport in vegas and we're waiting for your pool thing there was this chick and she had like a weird butt poor girl and it wasn't real and you could tell only she didn't know that it didn't look real she probably thought it looked amazing right yeah she was walking around with like letting everybody's confidence look at that [ __ ] yeah people get strange because the butt thing is treated differently than the boob thing like a woman with really large fake breasts is still hot yes but a woman with really large fake butt it's like come on yeah that comes off crazy yeah yes and fake lips it's another one that's crazy too yeah yeah we have rules it's weird yeah fake lips is like what am i supposed to do just pretend this is not happening in front of me right now well it's also it [ __ ] with your apparently we haven't when we see a certain person when you see people's faces we have uh an expectation to where things are going to be based on where things are right it's all like the fibonacci sequence like the golden ratio the way your face is designed like like ari shafir if ari shafir had a tiny nose you'd be like what is wrong with your face
your face is supposed to have a big nose this is like how you're that style of face yeah it's supposed to come with that style of nose yeah right if it doesn't it's weird but then you look at a guy like greg fitzsimmons as a little nose you know if he had ari's nose you'd be like what is that nose doing on your face it's crazy it's like you [ __ ] with that when you do something to make something bigger or whiter or you know with your face you know people get tattoos and different things like suppose people start enlarging areas of their face you just like getting bigger ears bigger noses what if big ears come in the face dumbbell ears yeah well how about those holes where people stretch they do those gauges and they pull their [ __ ] ear hole out they put that earring hole at the bottom make it giant yeah like a hoop that's bananas yeah like what are you doing to your ears yeah like i don't want to [ __ ] up the chance of me not being able to hear some [ __ ] i don't think it does i don't think it does it's just i i'm not doing anything personally that that's close to anything that i need i i need this for what i need this for i'm not going to do anything to it that might jeopardize it in any way i always feel like that about cauliflower here too that go to all the years that i did jiu jitsu i don't have cauliflower here because i always wore ear guards right it's like if you [ __ ] with the shape of your ear it [ __ ] with the way sound goes in there like like take your ear and then talk go blah blah blah now put your tip the tips of your fingers on the top of your ear and then fold them down la la la la la la la la it changes the way it sounds it changes sound like this helps sound these are speakers these are bows right you know what i'm saying yeah you're [ __ ] with your boat you're [ __ ] with your bows it's the shape nature figured out a shape to collect all that sound and and get it inside your ear holes yeah but when you're outside of your ears like a
rock like a lot of these wrestlers and jiu jitsu guys they have it's all calcified so that with that cauliflower ear i don't know if you ever touched a cauliflower here no it's like a rock under the surface it's very calcium rock that's what it's like because the it's what it is is the break in the skin it swells up because it bleeds and then that blood calcifies and hardens and the only way to fix my friend brett had his fixed um brent um yeah brent my friend brent had to fix it they had to cut his ear like a fish they had a full length and then they had to open it up and scrape out all the the hard tissue and then sew it back up together and he couldn't do jiu jitsu forever because if he did jujitsu again after the operation it would break open and start bleeding again yeah i was looking for a picture where a guy gets this part i've seen people with a plug and a hole on the inner part here oh i've seen that yeah but this guy took it to a whole [ __ ] spot oh my god oh [Music] that definitely [ __ ] with his hearing a hundred percent oh yeah 100 he's got a giant gauge hole in the bottom and a medium gauge hole in the top and then big ones on his nostrils where his nostrils he has like the bottom hole where his nostrils are and then above the nostril he's got two huge holes where you could see the septum he opened up the side of his nostrils order size hole easily right i can't say that dude's real happy i just don't see it i don't understand that look but hey hey man what are you gonna do ian edwards will be with me with dave chappelle oh coma washington and then salt lake city salt lake city the next day which is august 3rd tickets just went on sale um i don't think so there i don't i think they're on sale on friday yeah but they went on pre-soil the way dave does it you have to register as a legit fan like a human being they have to make sure that you're not a ticket agency they're scalping these tickets
and buying them up in mass and then selling them back so ian edwards it would have to you have to show your driver's license or something i don't know how they verify it but and then once you register then you could buy the tickets and it's for those people for a while and then after that then it's opened up to the general public i think on saturday something like that but uh ian's going to be with me donnell i don't know rollins yeah i don't know if uh that's been announced but i just announced it donnell rollins gonna be there too i'm [ __ ] pumped we're gonna have some that's gonna be crazy those are gonna be wild that's gonna be [ __ ] crazy bro this weekend was crazy that weekend is going to be [ __ ] great tacoma sold out in a day yeah 20 000 people it's gonna be nuts no sleep i'm not expecting any sleep no we're gonna have some fun yeah yeah it's gonna be crazy yeah all right so uh tell people you're special it's this weekend uh friday this friday july 12th on comedy central at midnight check it out ian talks billboard presents ian talk and if it wants it uh all things comedy did it right yeah all things comments beautiful and then once it's out we'll be able to be streamed on comedy central's streaming service yeah download the app or just go to comedycentral.com and you'll be able to see it there beautiful yeah powerful ian edwards thanks brother thank you my friend much love bye bye [Music]