Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1Q4vhC4Ink
it is yeah three two one boom and we're live we're talking about yoga and your summons yesl Simmons he moved to Bali because he's worried about them extraditing know if he's worried but I I'm this is all conjecture this is what I've heard but I just bought him up because he had the yoga studio here did he yeah and he gave me a month free a month free high-end yoga thing like you just show up in your clothes they give you the mat towels blocks everything and everybody was awesome and I went every day for a month and did yoga next to Russell Simmons Wow and he was like amazing a fan yeah and I was like really feeling it I felt great and then stuff happening it's so easy man slide away hey man I love that guy did I have a funny story what do you think is more important in stand-up to be polished or to be wrong there's no more important thing they're both very important but Joey Diaz is not polished at all and he's the funniest guy that I've ever seen yeah no one's ever made me laugh harder he's not polished he's raw as [ __ ] but raw alone is not good because some guys like Jeselnik is very polished and he's very funny you're very polished you're very funny yes it's there's no there's no one thing you know it's like comedies oh it's art it's gnar it's an expression of who you are if you're a polished person and you try to come off raw it's gonna look corny so I brought that up because I am I don't know young 20s Def Jam is having auditions it just moved from New York to LA and Beverly Hills is where the taping was just ironic in itself and but I was wrong yeah you remember those when you go hit it DJ and you have music you yes sir I auditioned and Bushwick bill was one of the judges it was like a I auditioned that all jokes aside in Chicago and I got picked I was one of the people to get picked to tape Def Jam first time I was ever flown out anywhere first time I ever came to was flown to Los Angeles I've been here before stayed at the hotel Sofitel whoa but what happened is I got picked I was wrong about three months went by I went on a tour of North Dakota South Dakota Minneapolis where none of those Def Jam jokes worked so I started like getting polished a little bit right so when I went to tape Def Jam I did it and I got
I think seven applause breaks but I didn't get the standing ovation and I remember when I got off stage at one comedian said way to keep him seated and Russell walked right past me like I just wanted him to see me so I knew I wasn't going the air right and I got that wait he's got seven of seven wouldn't air well I got a note I got it I got my first rejection letter saying thank you so much but you you you won't be airing the airs what the head rod man and they had two other people and then so I felt like [ __ ] you know I mean like why I was like am i black enough like go like damn I'm not a part of Def Jam I want to be touring I make these audiences laugh but what I auditioned with it was straight from Maryland like straight just raw like all bravado I wasn't talking about anything and I went to these other cities and it was kind of like I was kind of like finding my style right how many years have you been doing it at the time I was probably doing I started at 19 but I you know that's that's the college start mmm and then you but I think I started doing the full-time at 22 and I was probably 26 so maybe four years arrogant though like you know Rob's your future act I knew always kept a time clock sometimes I would go long but I would but I was I was very proud of like if they said do trail I would do 12 you know I mean that County and I was I was getting standing ovations but I wanted talking about it and then I started like doing these other states and I was like okay fine don't get don't get it so my objection my I really needed Russell Simmons to like me like you know I mean he meant so much to the culture and to and he just when he just didn't see me I just like to him years go by and it the the pain of it like diminishes but it's still kind of in there but it's you know it's like a Marvel villain like you like I gotta yeah I must stuff but it kind of so then Russell has another show and I didn't even think I was going to get picked my only goal was just to make him laugh cuz he what he was at the audition it was in New York I was living in New York he was there and staying late them with it was there and this is years later I found I know who I was I knew what I was you know coming to say I didn't know if it
was gonna match their show and and when I'm saying is like Def Jam prided itself on Raw like being raw you know I mean and unlike you know a new voice and then I so I didn't fit like what they were selling you know so then when I saw Russell and saying I do my act I see Russell grabs stomach and go over it so I'm I'm good if I get the show I get it if I don't get it I'm good I see Stanley thing go I see them do the whisper I literally don't care if I get to show I did what I said I'll to do right so all the other comments are staying back to schmooze and like I left I left I didn't I end up getting the show and this is the show now when Russell was sitting in the audience and their comics sitting up there and I'm doing my act and I was I was talking about HBO hung that show about I do with a big dick for real that's what we doing like that now and I did like the stereotype game and all this stuff and and I did one joke and I remember Russell got up and gave me up gave me a pound in the middle of my set it was you can see all the comics like and I was like so it was like the full circle of 24 year old me and beat it and then 32 34 year old me maybe Russell oh my man and then I would go you know then I was doing yoga with him for a little bit but we never hung pose it was just like you know just like I don't know it just didn't fully circle moment call you and say I'm giving you this month free yoga was there part of doing the show how did that happen no he used to be at all deaf he can't hear at all deaf digital so he moved here and I think I my dear to pitch him something you know you do yoga and he just gave me a month free and I was like imma taking so every morning I would wake up and drive and I didn't know I was gonna be in his class like Usher Raymond are being there he was really incredible yeah like all these people would be in there and I was gonna fight it really have you ever seen him train no uh sure has videos online of him training at Black House and he's legit Wow like he's a legit skilled fighter I believe it like he's got like real good hands he can throw kicks everything yeah he is probably the Kobe of army really I feel like he out works everybody you know when I saw him in yoga class I was like who else is doing this like in your field like I don't know yoga is
something you don't get any credit for doing knows it's [ __ ] hardest [ __ ] but it seems like no big deal like if you say all ran seven miles today people are whoa yeah I did yoga today but it's really I I felt so good when I was doing it and III don't think I didn't tell anybody I was doing it like my wife knew I was going yeah but it is it's a personal thing it's like golf right it's a personal it is just you against your body and Russell you give me tips you know it's about breathing in difficult situations he would always say that I never forgot that mm-hmm it is about breathing yeah yeah it's about breathing that's what life is like life is going to give you difficult situations and if you don't remember to breathe fur you're [ __ ] yeah out of like the whole the premise of it well I feel like we operate on a scale and the least difficulty you have in your life the more difficult it is to encounter real adversity so when you give yourself voluntary difficulty so I volunteer to work out hard I've volunteered do Jiu Jitsu I've volunteered to yoga I've pushed myself to do these things when actual real-life difficulties come along like they're hard but there's never a time in life where it's as hard as a 90 minute yoga class Wow you're sweating like crazy you barely can stand up you try your feet a cramp and your legs tramping pouring sweat pouring down on the mats but I mean it's temporary you know it's gonna end in 40 50 seconds whatever the poses but that much to just hang in there is so hard that I think it prepares you for other thing other than like the loss of a loved one or something like that that's impossible compare yourself for but just [ __ ] stress right just regular life [ __ ] stress yoga class makes that stuff look like nonsense if you're doing yoga on a regular basis yeah well it was something I'm consistently inconsistent you know what I mean but I'll go through a phase so before the Russell thing I went to a hot Bikram class that's what I do so I went to a hot Bikram and this when I was single so I was basically just following the asses and yeah I remember was a big room and everything was chilling you know I literally had never done this at
all i was literally pop just you know I don't know why I don't know why and I just remember they closed all the windows and they stopped the fans and it started getting really hot and I was doing the poses and I was shaking and like you said I sweating profusely and the only thing I knew was it was supposed to be a place of no judgement they kept going it's it's your journey you should go practice no judgement until 8:00 he had a little Mike thing and she came over to me and she covered it and she whispered to me [Laughter] while Buster loves like I couldn't and so I didn't really go back after that my ego was bruised a little bit and so I would do it at home sometimes preparing to go back I could not get judged and when I left like she was like the teacher was like on the cover of the magazine in front of in hand like she legit yeah and so but why she did it was so funny [Laughter] terrible it's [ __ ] hard man and the reason why they asked you if you are Reich's is sometimes people are not all right yeah like I've seen people almost blackout where they have to lay down oh yeah cuz it's 105 degrees in there and if you're not used to that kind of exercise in that kind of temperature if you have you know a per you want people that just that stuff gets to you and you can handle panel yeah you can legitimately pass out it'll need that I remember just remember Bally's gym yeah I remember now I used to live one on the baddies at the bottom in here when I belong to Bally's you know and I would go you know I went through a period I'm going when it opens and so I went I think it opened at six maybe damn you're a six o'clock in the morning guy I did that for a minute get there salon I said how come we can't go in industry this may be somebody's dead in the pool it was a good body like floating in in the valleys whoa and then I don't forget this other lady goes he got out his contract notorious for not letting you out yeah leasing out his contract and then everybody still waiting well 24-hour Fitness is the weirdest one do you sign it for like ten years so I got a dollar a week they don't give a [ __ ] they know you're not coming right oh yeah yeah yeah we're
help you with your goals yeah yeah yeah you gonna get fit you're gonna get jacked we're gonna get ripped like Bobby over here look at Bobby Bobby shows up every day like wow I'm gonna be like Bobby and then you just start eating chips yeah drinking soda he'll never show up it's a I wonder like what are the percentage or one if we can find this what the percentages of members in 24 hours 24 Hour Fitness that actually go on a regular basis else that's a great house to share that they wouldn't share you know you're probably right yeah because then people would go why my son under for that yeah yeah that's a great hustle man I did I had a 24 hour fitness for a moment and then I would go and it would be so crowded I would just go home sometimes it's real crime yeah and even yeah I can't do anything then some of them like you couldn't use all of them to you just don't have that much what are you talking about axes like that too oh I did Equinox for a second now this is a 24-hour club sport yeah like what yeah I did Equinox for a second I got to play basketball magic really yeah he was in there working out every morning why not on Arsenio too so he did so just play a pickup game people know I didn't you he would he would shoot around and I just kind of like made myself like available on the court I'm just there when the ball went through the room I went got to rebound I gave it to him and he shot another one I got to rebound he'll always wanted to rebound for you I gave my pants and he did the classic hook and it goes and now you got in the cyst so and in dinner cuz a lot of basketball players to come up there and I look at him like man I'm glad I couldn't but magic is huge man like yeah have you seen in person no huge strike and I'm 65 so but his back is like I like I had hoop dreams until I played against Grant Hill in high school Grant Hill is 69 and it was a Christmas tournament my mom was there and my girlfriend at the time I shout out to married now my girlfriend Sarah was there and I had a router section you know we were the home team and Grant Hill comes in and my coach I had me check up and I never I guarantee you you won't remember this but uh it's just in court a crossover right and most people
if you cross over I'm I'm still in front of you grant was so long when he did put the ball this hand to this hand I I had to literally slide two steps and then when he'd been back I had to slide back two steps and when he went up here there was no way I could get up there and so I told my girlfriend yo go home like that's cool like 60 please he was shooting from half-court like he just looked at us like I was like I'm a dude well in school that's a fascinating thing when you see someone who's a world-class athlete the beginning of their journey you know this is in high school high school yeah I was getting you there journey yeah right cuz he's really just getting becoming a man yeah it's not even really a man yet nope hey but you see already like they have that jump I'm sure Jordan was like I'm sure there's no wasn't Jordan like didn't make his high school team yeah and that crazy who cut him you know you know that coach had when he went home that night had to talk to his wife like I think I made it terrible mistake but I probably didn't realize it because he the time Jordan problem well Jordan is not the biggest guy in the world either right house halls easy six four six six six six six six but compared to some of those giants like we understand that like Shaq is the most ridiculous human being isn't that credibly so his hands are as big as his table yeah they just reach out and just swallow your arm yeah so big lives in my neighborhood a word yeah I did a commercial with him in there it never aired we did like a series of spots and he was like a big kid man he was so fun he's a fun guy just a factor with them you did he did a whole episode he came in cuz we did it in Orlando he was a fan so he brought his whole family down he had a bus he brought tour bus to hang out him so fun and then he you know he did it there three two one go and I'm standing next to him like a little six-year-old with my dad it's hilarious yeah but yeah there's there's people that are just a different man they're just different level athletes and I bet Jordan as good as he was you know it probably he needed that rejection to turn that burner on yeah to make him Jordan yeah real
George's yeah yeah and that's always gonna be a story that he was cut from his high school basketball team yeah I think he bought up in Hall of Fame's I think so yeah the Hall of Fame speech when he kept [ __ ] on all the salah classes right you remembered all of them although you're Michael Jordan why even bringing these guys up nobody even cares wouldn't let it go that's why it was so great yeah that burning fire they would say that if you beat him at pool he would hate you for two weeks until he play you again amazing used to have a pool tournament he would do in Chicago every year and it was for charity so you'd have all these celebrities come and play pool with him but you know he wasn't a good pool player it was like it was okay but there's like real pool players out there they'll [ __ ] you up it up and if he got beat he would be furious apparently just couldn't handle it but that's the case with everyone who's great at something they don't want to lose it [ __ ] they don't want to lose it backgammon Parcheesi yeah you know is that healthy at a certain point oh you might turn that off it's so unhealthy yeah it's so unhealthy but that's what makes them great it's like there's there's a pro and a con to everything you know I have a saying that I've always said that greatness and madness are next-door neighbors and they borrow each other's sugar mm you can't be great unless you're a little crazy and if you can't be the best ever unless you're out of your [ __ ] mind and Jordans clear when you see him in that that Pratt that that speech when he's talking about the Hall of Fame when he's talking about getting inducted and all the people that are wrong all people that he's angry still I mean he's a crazy person this is the one of your great highlights as recognized the greatest basketball player of all time think about how many people have played basketball millions of people all over this country and millions of people around the world there's one guy if everybody says who's the greatest basketball player it's Michael [ __ ] Jordan right I mean you've got your other people you got your dissenters who say well I think LeBron theory what that I have a theory about that so here's my thing I feel like that's the wrong narrative I
feel like so here's my friend and I we were talking about what is greatness right greatness is clearly the numbers and accolades and the wins but greatness is also being able to overcome great difficulty and still perform and so adding that into the formula I feel like out of everyone that's a part of the conversation LeBron is the only one who never met his dad like Jordan knew his dad Kobe rest in pieces that played in the NBA magic knew his dad Kareem knew his dad it's a thing you know LeBron tall his dude in Akron walking around every day you see another tall dude he had to be like that just mentally right like who taught him the game like Jordan had these great teachers and all that so I feel like the questions should be Michael join us to the greatest of all time with two parents but with one parent LeBron is the greatest and Kevin Durant is like a cousin interesting way of looking at it just because you is different starting lines but there's so many different variables to take place in life from birth to death to just isolate one factor like not having a father well I'm but I mean it's like all of Jordan talked about when he got cut from his team his dad was the one who pushed he was his greatest motivator like he had that like who was doing that for LeBron bran who taught him the game like Jordan went to NC State where Dean Smith was one of the greatest you know everyone talks about Jordans fundamentals weighted LeBron learn is from hmm who was teaching them this stuff and if and so it's it's just a different space and it's like I'm relate to LeBron because I was raised by a single mom so I recognize myself more in him than in Jordan it's a very you know nuanced thing but I feel like when people go who's the greatest I'm like man I do that to parents like it's like if you motivation the thing about having two parents versus one is there something about having one parent that gives you this insane motivation to drive this drive to succeed that's a that's a factor in a lot of people there was a factor in me yeah growing up because I didn't grow up with my dad yeah no you're not knowing my dad talked
to my dad since I was seven years old okay so that and the fact that I knew him up until I was six and then didn't talk to him for the rest of my life yeah that [ __ ] with me yeah and that there's a part of that there's a part of that that would make you like I'll show you [ __ ] like you guys don't think I'm worth anything I'll show you yeah there's something that like Mike Tyson had that like a lot of people had that a lot of a lot of great athletes had terrible up rings and it's almost a positive factor right you know you could say that Jordans dad was a positive factor and that that can work as well but it also sometimes it can be a positive factor to be ignored having a difficult childhood can actually be a positive factor oh definitely I mean look LeBron was a billionaire it clearly was a positive fact how it worked out oh definitely it worked out I'm just saying in the debate I know what you're saying it was the greatest yeah I know it could there's two different ways that could go yeah but it's also like they did they're playing in different eras that's a that's a like to see the Tyson Fury Deontay Wilder finest all clips oh my gosh were you there no no I watched it home holy [ __ ] how biggest fear you know whew six seven almost no six nine Deonte six seven Furies 6-9 6-9 270 pounds and he just figured he figured out in the first fight that Deonte in the twelfth round he started back at the ante up the ante can't fight backing up because Yount a is a guy who pushes forward and he's got this ridiculous power right and everybody scared of powers everybody moving all the time and fury realized in the 12th round after Deonte knocked him down almost knocked him out he got up and started chasing Deonte and Deonte fought sloppy he'd said he looked awkward he said his footwork didn't look so good technique yeah well it's Deonte is known as being this guy who's got him Eraser his right hands are gonna race her all the mistakes Teddy out let's put it this way all the mistakes of the previous I'll get erased with one partner just shuts people's lights out and he has that confidence that he has that eraser power but with Tyson Fury realized like look Tyson doesn't fight that way
Tyson Fury fights on his toes he sticks and moves he did a lot of head movement and a lot a lot of like shuckin and jivin and he it makes it very difficult for you to figure out what he's doing like is he going here is he going there is he moving as he jabot he'll come at you like this with 2/3 fake jabs then a jab at a right hand he'll throw a right hand to the body then he'll throw a left uppercut he'll step to the side of you or throw a right hand he'll move out of the way of poppy with a jab as he's moving away he's like a very technical like really sophisticated boxer if you look at the movement that he does for someone as big as him it's really kind of crazy and it's not that he couldn't step forward and smash people knock people out and says he knows the sweet science yes you know he knows the sweet science but then he realized for this fight he had to fight a different way to shock Deonte he had to combat Deonte full blast get in his face from the from the jump and that's exactly what he did he also trained changed trainers and he went with Sugar Hill who's a quant trainer Kronk is where Tommy Hearns came from you know Gerald McClellan and some of the great like knockout artists of the past and Crompton from a manual Stewart was known as being a very offensive style of fighting they have heavy jabs they don't touch you with the jab they're smashing with a jab big power in the right hand like Kronk was a tacking aggressive style like they were all known like they would wear those Kronk shorts those yellow golden shorts you saw a guy with Kronk shorts on that [ __ ] came to kill you they thought in when they were in the gym Emanuel Steward would turn the heat up to 100 degrees so when they were doing they were doing like hot yoga in in the [ __ ] crop gym because he wanted to build up endurance in these guys so when you would go into the crunk gym in Detroit it was hot as [ __ ] like really hot and that's how he forced everybody trained under extreme duress he was a amazing amazing trainer he's a guy who rejuvenated wladimir klitschko when Vladimir Klitschko was falling apart because he hadn't gotten K out a few times he his style just he didn't have like an American style he had this like sort of straight-up European style and
Emanuel Steward just shifted his style and and just made him concentrate on utilizing that long reach and the big power that long jab so when Tyson Fury went with a crunk trainer for this like he was vet dead serious he was gone for seek-and-destroy he told everybody that's what he's gonna do too but nobody believed him everybody thought it was just a hustle like him saying I'm gonna knock out Deontay Wilder I'm gonna come after him I'm gonna knock him out in two rounds everybody's like you're out of your [ __ ] mind even Deonte was like you don't believe a word you're saying you're just talking you're not gonna try to knock me out guys exist though he figured out the puzzle he figured out the puzzle in the 12th round of the first fight he just realized he had him backing up he's like oh this guy stumbles on his feet he gets all awkward and got him backing up yeah so he just just got to like glue he took that out that's what I wanted to talk to you about I want to stop fighting man no no my son needs to know I want to talk to you about first I want to thank you because you've been very kind about just promoting my stand-up in this plan oh you're welcome dude I'm a huge fan Thank You Man you don't make any sense to me I know you are one of the best comics in the world and the fact that people don't know who you are you should be filling arenas so so this is what I'm doing I made something and I want to give it to your viewers so they can watch it and judge for themselves if they just go to text Owen comm text Owen darling calm I'll send you some never-before-seen stand-up in mind if you if you if you [ __ ] with it then we see what happens I'll check back with you a little bit later oh there we go yeah you go then you do know the improv with me Wednesday right I am show icons delay show yeah come hit me with that I'll text you beautiful and after this podcast see how many people whatever and I'm gonna send you some never-before-seen standard if you haven't seen me not for me with me and it's kind of break your phone hey man I said that's my prayer you know what I mean cuz I you you don't understand the the your your your kind words how its affect affected my life in
a great way is I felt like wladimir klitschko basically as far as my comedy is concerned and then what you have like dude I'm like doesn't make sense to me and I know great comics you know most comics when they get to you or your level they're famous they're famous for being really great comics well I see you on stage like I was watching the last time we worked together and I forget who I was standing in the back of the room talking to but I was like this doesn't even make any sense I mean he's so good he should be headlining arenas yeah it's true it's like your comedy is so polished and so and I was talking to Tony about it I was Tony Hinchcliffe wheel in the back watch and once I was like look how economy of words like she uses just the right amount of words like you have to fill in the blank you make people fill in the blank sometimes and it makes things even funnier like that that's that's all black belt [ __ ] man it's like love it you just spent so much time writing you know in writing for sitcoms and running for movies and I know it's been very lucrative for you and it's it's great and you know you're a great writer there's no question about it but you're a world-class stand-up Thank You Man thank you thank you thank you true go to text okay let's go cuz I'm serious man because it's like you know how to business change you know I thought that if you just had quality work that yeah it would and then it's it's it's it's just changed to something that I TV [ __ ] all went away it all went away and so so we'll see we'll see I'm putting myself out there well you gotta get a special that's all – yeah take four you know yeah exactly look someone's gonna step up yeah that would be great you know so we'll see but I just want I wanted to thank you my pleasure I'll see what happens hopefully yeah break my phone y'all I wanna know what experience that Comedy Central is I mean Comedy Central's great I owe them a debt of gratitude they put my special out in 2014 and 2009 yeah but the reality is it's like it's just not the same anymore people aren't watching it like they used to watch it yeah they lost the public trust somewhere yeah well they put out a lot of [ __ ] shows yeah no yeah this they're micromanaging things there's a
lot of people that are scared of anything controversial yeah somebody told me they fired a lot of people over there but you know even hear that see we'll see what's in a past Kyle Dunnigan show Kyle Dunnigan funny he that [ __ ] [ __ ] that he does with Face Swap is the funniest [ __ ] he's the funniest man on instagram and there's a lot of funny [ __ ] on the ramp but his [ __ ] clear like makes me cry I cry sometimes watching his stuff yeah he's a talented creative guy and the fact that they didn't pick that show up but I knew they were [ __ ] it up already because he showed me this one clip it was Kaitlyn you know he does everything with face walks right he had Caitlyn Jenner on top of Donald Trump [ __ ] Donald Trump and it was hilarious man he shows it to me in the back room of the main room I'm crying tears are coming down my eyes we're laughing so hard he goes can get this Comedy Central passed on that I go what I know he said they said we can't do that one they said we have we can't do that one it's too controversial I go controversial that's what you do right everything you do is controversial but it's so obvious that it's fake it's funny because it's fate it's like South Park like your [ __ ] dummies what is your most successful show South Park what is what does that show dude they don't give a [ __ ] they go all out yeah South Park has no boundaries and it's one of the reasons why it's the greatest comp it's the greatest comedy show ever yo man you that's the thing that the that's the thing about creating and depending on invisible people to forget it because yes you don't know where the nose coming from right like what you just said is an impassioned argument if you could sit down with the the decision-maker and go and just talk about yes maybe his show would have gone but you like you don't know who anybody is you write it you know you're just going on this is good you know and it's so hard because there's the people that are watching it and then judging whether or not they're gonna put it on television first of all they're not creative people if they were they'll be doing what you're doing yeah they're executives yeah and they think they're smart they think they understand comedy they also don't want
to get fired they don't also don't want to get in trouble they also want to sell ads there's so much [ __ ] going on yeah you know what I wish I knew I wish I knew what they're men they call it mandates like what their mandates are what they're dealing with just so that because you get excited about something and you push and you go this is what I want to do and it is sometimes you go oh man I don't think they're considering the actual audience that sounds so I don't but I you know I don't know what they're considering you know and it can drive you crazy they're also seriously worried about woke culture didn't want to make sure like I've had friends they want to pitch things and like where's the diversity you know you know we know a trans biracial woman in this we needed this we needed that like hey just concentrate on making it good regular grace make it good you know the I think your diversity should be everybody who's good fine people are good don't exclude them because they're gay or trans or whatever but don't include them because they are if they're not talented just because that's not good you just need good you know it would be nice if it was easy for all those people of all different backgrounds to get up in stand-up comedy clubs and then get their career going and I don't know any situation I mean I'm so far removed from open mikes it's hard for me sometimes you do what we should we should do whatever happened that thing we did were you with the notebooks yeah that was hilarious dude it was great it was great I was I was thinking of giving that to people when they text someone calm so I shot six edit four and took it around town a lot of people didn't get it a lot of knows the people who loved it the most was all things comedy hmm and they were like we want to you know take this out but I was partnered with somebody at the time I had a manager at the time that they didn't connect with so it kind of went away and about why we were just talking about this like this should be on TV like it's such a clean simple fun idea well it should be on YouTube it should be it yeah that was my plan my initial plan was to put it on YouTube why don't you put on YouTube now um I
don't know I just there's somebody else on it nobody is always only on Oppie and all right I'll put on YouTube when you uh were you like supported I see you understand man I'm so afraid of uh I'm not afraid of no I just got to get the first gut punch and then I'll keep going you understand what saying like something weird happened man my younger self everything people are doing on Instagram I did when I was 18 19 20 then you get a little bit oh did you like what's this tape what's going on but when I when I talk about tick-tock yes it came to me I thought I can't think of the I think his name is chase Jarvis I was looking at Chase Jarvis I never heard of this guy but I used to watches his interviews and he was always sponsored by you know something very cool he's a photographer and he had his own show we started like in his home and he would only average like 50,000 views I'm like how is this guy doing this but I thought notebooks could be something like that that would speak to comedy fans but my whole intention was to because I felt like stand-up was being like homogenized because when you would just do some of these shows the set was built and you would just stand there and perform but it was no way of an audience member to go I wanna follow this guy I wanna come see this woman on this guy lied so I thought notebooks and the show would time I was called notebooks and it's basically every comment the one thing comics never throw away is their own notebooks so I would sit I sat down with Joe I sat down with some other comics I couldn't believe I found when this fun man he stopped and you I was what you got to see that you watch Joe go back to where he was when he was like performing it I could see it on your face I can see you like remember like we you wrote this stuff when you came up with it and it's just I don't know it just shows that this isn't like we make it look easy but it's like it shows the journey it's also like a way of like appreciating like cuz sometimes we're hard on ourselves it's like damn man I you know what I mean like and this funny story like I thought this bit was gonna make me this was gonna shut it down this was my bring the pain you know because I can listen to a comedian and tell how long they've been
doing it you know and I wanted to I got to this place where I don't believe anybody sucks I just believe they haven't found it yet you know I'm interested in let me tell you I'm there's some people that doesn't matter this is a reality of the reality yes reality yeah but I mean we became we got into this space we're now you're what people post everything online so you're watching them like I have videos of me in San Antonio Texas in 1996 great but it's on a VHS tape in my basement you know what I mean we're watching you grow right people huh but now that would be on YouTube and be like so when I did hit some people blame I can't stand on from something that they saw funny and you know but you can't worry about that though yeah yes that's you just got to worry about what you're doing right now yes I'm never worried about what you did all right I'm gonna put a little notebook I'm putting notebooks out yeah definitely and uh do we found I found some [ __ ] from 1991 right it was crazy so the writing was so bad it was great anyway Barris fantastic but it just I hadn't met it it's not I knew I had it so I grabbed it and I brought it to you yeah but I hadn't looked at it before you and I were sitting there that's the point yeah so when I was going through I was like oh my god this is so bad yeah the thing about like my 23 year old self writing jokes it's the best sometimes you find a gym we go damn that might be up yeah you know some [ __ ] you bailed on we're like you're so you're like you're you're it now you know I know how to make this work right you can have a you know we had some people you know connect with that what I love about this is comics aren't burning material right so I feel like everyone can can do the show but I mean I prefer to have somebody that's you know got into 10,000 hours in yeah and so we can have like you know those stories and it's just an interesting way in mm-hmm I loved it I loved it so much but my initial my point is I was like I want to do this for you too but then I was like maybe is it maybe there's a televised play for this mm-hm and three years later yeah I think nothing is worth bringing to TV anymore yeah she's not worth it anymore just you you're getting deal with too many people you don't need to deal with them yeah
they're not gonna have good things half the people and this is generous mmm half the people that you deal with that are executives really don't give a [ __ ] about anything other than their mortgage or their car or their career or getting respect or office politics or they might be working at Comedy Central they could easily be working at the History Channel or easily working at some other [ __ ] network here TV network Here I am trying to create a platform for some of my friends well like I feel like why don't you have a following you know me yeah yeah and I'm like if people just saw your work ethic like how you write your dozen people be like my like you know I'd like you now I understand what this is yeah and I felt that that's what was missing from all these specials where people just stand in a spot in a and it's the same background I just changed the name no you know no shade on that but it's like very few people were popping off that and so much so people thought I had one of those like that's how you'd never tell you my my my Comedy Central story no oh okay so I'm a name check some people in here but I literally I I but I'm not doing it for it's all good like I learned a lot from this experience so George Carlin was performing at most of each comedy magic club I go down to watch George Carlin performance was this would be his last special at the time kimber Rickon ball who did was Rick mill productions she comes over to me and she goes why don't we have a half-hour on you I don't know she gives me your card she says give me 21 minutes and well you know we'll make it happen or or she alluded to that it would happen and so I'm standing next to the guy who books most beats and I go can I get 21 minutes he's like no I could just give you seven eight minutes says so I thought I had to do like three seven minutes and pieces together I went to the improv can I get 21 minutes I went to the Laugh Factory 20 minutes I got cat discontent no one will give me 21 minutes and so I had to go out of town I think I went to Chicago or somewhere taped it got it back at the time I'm writing on Everybody Hates Chris they Becky and Michael rothenburg Matt will manage Chris Rock at the time and they would and they were also producers on the show so they would come
down once a month and sit in the video village and just you know yeah and so I was politicking I go man if I can get day Becky to contact Kimber Rick and Paul maybe I can get with three yards because I had no manager and three aunts sexy you know management name and so Ali Leroi the showrunner was also managed about three yards so he was kind enough he was just like he just did like this is David yo man listen this [ __ ] and then just kept like so I was like Dave mister Becky what's up man uh Kim a wrecking ball gave me the card said if I can give her 21 minutes you know is probable I'll get a half hour special I was wondering if I could do that through you and he goes say no more I rap Kimber Rickenbacker done so at that time I was I booked a lot of colleges so I'm I am on cloud nine yo I'm about to get a half-hour special I had a I did a car had a gig for college that night so I kissed a red-eye to Iowa all right Ames Iowa before me in Ames Iowa get to the hotel room the next morning phone call on my cell phone stay Becky I'm calling a girl is this could be the start of us doing this a lot you know long yeah oh and uh talk to Kimber and uh she says she never heard of you this is it I was like what I thought also you hated me right no sorry man good luck man all right talk to you boo hung up and I was like what and it never done to me to call Kimber and be like hey like I was so floored by that oh no yeah it was like a gut punch and then check this out I saw about the college I what I didn't have a college gig the contract wasn't finalized so I had to drag my dumb tail back to LA no special no right and again I didn't ever contacted her I didn't even know like and that's why I said I could say her name because I never did that part right so like maybe I could have caught him in hey oh my god so sorry I don't even think that I went into I was having like a pity party on the set of everybody's Chris earnest Thomas tells me man don't we don't Hollywood to give you permission to be great and that's why I shot my first special I took all my college money shot did all that and said just calling this woman like hey and so that's how I ended up like shooting uh the first special anonymous that is so crazy she said she's never you but
meanwhile you had her card had it and didn't use it that's why I was like it's nothing it's not I don't feel like a shade on her it's like I'm talking about and and if it's any comments this and then you'll call them like you know mean like I'm just sometimes it's part of that world of not being all in and stand up and in that writing world yeah that's – yeah that's Ian – yeah Ian Edwards I've been saying the same [ __ ] to him yeah I'm like stop taking those jobs man you're too good your dude yeah man yeah and Ian Edwards and I we started out together man I've known Ian for 20 27 28 years I've known him forever dude forever Ian and I used to Boston comedy in New York City in the village yeah yeah I'm an actor it landed a dreadlock I remember I'd seen him on dev town he's the yell yeah if we went vegan he's the yell to calm down yeah yeah oh yeah yeah and um I remember I saw him he was the coolest in me out house like yo man you a comedian I'm a comedian you say what you're doing now nothing come with me and he took me to like a general meeting that he had in there and then we went to two sets and I never forget I never forget he if we perform he performed in like a white room it was crushing and I said to him hey man that was amazing and it was great he goes I didn't trust him laughing wait and trust that he was so kind to me that is like just showing that generosity in a space where he didn't have to yeah people right man he's a classic human class yeah unlike you I love that do to death I always take pictures of him every time he falls asleep because you know he's vegans always tired so we're gonna playing together and I don't mean the vegans out there that eaten well right he does not he just eats vegan but that means life like all it is is a piece of bread a piece of bread he'll eat some rice he's not it doesn't get all those nutrients he just doesn't you know he doesn't exercise either but when everyone are playing that [ __ ] passed it out so I take all these pictures of him every time we go on the road together smash sit next to go to me every time he passes out with like we're on the runway this to is not an OS then he got me he got me recently he got me he caught it it's just giant smile I've never seen
him smile that well you see the video of it there's a video of it on Instagram he got me and he's just got this huge smile and I'm out cold and he's sitting next to me and now every time I fly with him I'm scared of blacking out I'm scared of falling asleep he's gonna get a video of you – that's hilarious I woke up like he was sleep I woke up next to me and he was asleep and I was asleep I don't want to film me while I was asleep before he went to sleep five versus five yeah yeah hello Joe yeah video of him hovering over me while I'm out cold why I gotta see it I never laughed so hard so I landed and I checked my Instagram and I saw that I just started [ __ ] howling man was so funny I wish we could we one time I was giving him like smoothie recipes because he was like asking about that stuff and Ian is like incredibly frugal it's so funny and I was like I said what you wanna do is you wanna you know you take strawberry banana he could take a protein you could take you know better that out of you want some green stuff done he goes or I could just eat a banana I mean but that's kind of like defeating the purpose you wanna you know I think he's doing smooths and stuff now but back then I just remember I think huh like I just gave you this whole recipe I could just eat a banana and it's cheaper you know that was the same thing that's what it is I think that was I don't know but I was just protein powder and so funny man ain't so yeah so I why I grew up in in Prince George's County Maryland right and a lot of comedians come from the Chappelle I was a pair of a gracious Appel story cuz we're the same age so when I was 19 and I just started Greenbelt comedy connection what I loved about Chappelle I'm bringing this up because it's Mark Twain Awards he gave a shout out to a guy named Tony Tony woods so Tony woods is also from the DC area and so at 19 I'm in this comedy club green.com is a black run Chappelle is on stage and he's getting boo and his dismount off getting booed is something I've never seen before in my life it was fantastic he's like [ __ ] y'all I'm gonna be famous it just walked off and when he walked off I was like oh my god they booed him like in my head I'm like if they booed him I don't stand a chance in comedy because like what
just happened when he walked by nobody wanted to touch him because he had that's yes uh and he sits down in in the in the booth right here and I just can't stop looking at him because I'm watching you know they say the stages of grief like I'm watching the stages of them and I keep thinking why doesn't he leave and he's sitting here and Tony woods goes on stage next when twenty woods wow man god man like just kind of a similar cadence and Tony just destroys got a standing ovation like night and day and I'm just 19 just knew like absorbing this just happen Tony walks off stage that's a comic I'm just kind of like eavesdropping like I think I'm five seven but I'm [ __ ] six five but I'm just trying like look at what they're gonna do next and they get up together and they walk out I kind of just follow him out thinking I don't know what's gonna happen to me but hey kid wanna hang with us I don't know yeah they get in the same car and and it's like I think it was a hatchback I'm not sure and Tony drives off I'm like wow they came together like that's that was all I knew man of that relationship and so and I and I knew that Tony I've been doing it a lot longer and I knew that Dave it's kind of like how when Kobe came into the league and was talking like Mike and then Kobe leaned into who Kohli well yes speaking you know I speak Italian I'm speaking Italian I speak like this these are the things that according to me and so you watched Dave do that separate from Tony but what love about what they did and this is why he's great is he had he recognized Tony in his greatest like comedic moment I guess the most honest thing you can do you know most people would be like I did this all me but he was like you and what he said about 20 could not have been truer you know what I mean and so it's just like touch my heart cuz I was I was there at the epicenter when I was watching babes figure it out and it was probably like and it was like and the material was doing it just didn't connect with it was a blue collar black crown I think he was doing like the superhero stuff like man uh you know one woman's magic laughs I don't hear that magic lasso [ __ ] like it was just it was just that it wasn't like it wasn't funny cuz to me I'm a 19 year old I thought that [ __ ] was hilarious so
that's the other thing I felt like am I wrong like I'm laughing and you hear [ __ ] and he uh any-any and he came down you know and then like a couple couple after like six months later I saw him on HBO was only it was like it's and I was like damn he didn't let it stop him and so I learned like all these lessons just sitting in the back of a comedy club Darnell Rollins who might come in and interrupt us now he he too was from that area and oh yeah man and I remember and Darnell like you know you know people talk about coming when he was on stage people saying he spoke Korean he did I was like a panelist is do and he was the first comic I ever saw commanding audience and I thought the audience cuz I was again nineteen like I had done comedy more than five times and I hear that audience go do the aspirin bit and he would do his bit about Aspen that would be hilarious dude do the bike bit and he would do this bit about not get anybody and I thought I thought this [ __ ] had like like the on his head like request you know what I mean okay I was like how great is this dude like they know his work and they're requesting it but years later I didn't know that those were like comics and I know it might have been comics or it might have been his but he he always had like he was just so amazing so I had all these references early on it's like where you can take the art form you know and how fearless it was and then I went out to South Bend where it was just completely different when I was in college you know and but I but I had all this like these mental downloads of like of just how these different styles that hadn't really touched like the Midwest comedy scene it's so funny when you're starting out too because you try to figure out like what style is gonna work yeah do I change do a shift yeah like who will do all of that everybody you have to and that's that's the guiness bringing it back to what notebooks is like I want to know what your what's your particular thing was I don't know what mine was but all of ours is different yeah but what we all play the same it's like we play the same sport but we all play at different ways and I love that [ __ ] so yeah it's um it's ironic that you bought that that show up because I was
like yeah you should bring it up yeah I was so honored that you said you would do it oh [ __ ] that's latest yeah the legal pad action so oh it's just amazing that I kept but yeah we do you can taxable yes and I'm sure there was certain several times when you were urged to throw them away yeah my wife was trying to throw them well no yeah that's what gave me the idea well mine was trying to toss my oh no [ __ ] way those are gonna be worth something someday yeah but also when I was going through them was always thinking like maybe one day I'll find a gem is a gem in here just to premise yes a weird premise it's in there anyway it is so hard to get that discipline like to literally go through it mm-hmm you know what I mean how do you write do you sit in front of a computer and write you write in front of a notary question each have good ideas and you just good idea so what I do you know what I started doing and I'm gonna do a podcast – it's gonna be called in context with Owen Smith cuz what I started doing is I started reading a newspaper more and if it whenever I read the newspaper my brain [ __ ] explodes with a whole bunch of just idea newspaper yeah why newspaper I like I like the physical like holding it but now I but now I just I'm getting myself to doing the online stuff just because it's it's just more practical because every time I go to get the paper like it's not I always feel so funny when I'm holding it but now like what is this yes but I like because you can see the words and you can see like they use specific word choice and my brain just starts going to him that's why but my act isn't that right my act is more personal but just Chris Rock's told me something a long time ago he said I don't suffer from what is it when you when you can't think of anything writer's block yeah I don't suffer from writer's block I suffer from readers block oh oh [ __ ] and he read he and in DL Hughley told me a long time ago if you read the newspaper every day that's equivalent to having a master's yeah what does GD logic series researches me that I was a hilarious when I was like like that stay with me so I was like so what always trying to like read a Holmes bit of what paper to the New York Post you're gonna
go back you gotta go back yeah that's it you just slide back to New York every time I read it is [ __ ] on people's fantastic it's like it's not a tablet but it is but they talk [ __ ] and it's funny it's funny it's near poster I grab that every time I'm back in this punished [ __ ] man yeah it was uh so so I've always tried to but you know I should have come to me in my sleep conversations and for me is about finding what is the right I don't feel like this I feel like where's the best place for this joke to live you know I mean it's just a stand-up joke could I get more traction out of this if it's a sketch you know what I mean and then if it is a sketch how can i still make it sing as a stand-up joke you know and what's fun for me is if I do something to not revisit it and I can do it like a lot cleaner and clearer and it starts then I get excited cuz then i can play cuz that's the other thing sometimes when you write you forget to play mm-hmm I remember like I think I saw Bill Maher or somebody like that performing he he he you know he kind of just stands there and so I saw him come off stage one time and he was like man I [ __ ] audience you know sucked and and I was thinking in my head like I wouldn't say to him but I mean you just forgot to play like you yo-yo all your [ __ ] was fired but it was if not having fun yeah sometimes you know and so when I said watch his show when I could see he's playing it's like ah yeah and so you forget that you forget that I mean [ __ ] he's up to deadlines he's got doing that stuff but when I saw him live that day I go oh he was he was trying to figure it out still so he didn't have the little songs all those little things and so sometimes I could be too hard on myself trying to get it like technically technically right and when I just figure the play this [ __ ] is so fun you know what I mean yeah creating moments and you could get all of that but for me I'm always trying to I'm always I don't know man I'll hear [ __ ] I'll see [ __ ] I'm like what is that like like so like right now I was Black History Month all this stuff about Mall of the King but my head went to you know this to the FBI bugged like they listened to all of his stuff and so I'm now I'm thinking about the guys listening the MLK light
you couldn't all be civil rights like they I wonder if he turned any of them you know listening like it's got a good point you know would it be like so that's how you make potato salad you know hey like just listening or whatever how many people you think were assigned to listen I'm fascinated with it and like I wondered like a weird relationship we're relationship and you're getting like you're getting a peek into the word of somebody you're told is this one thing and what if you you know you hear saying you just don't agree like I'm fascinated with stuff like that so I try to like yeah I've is if you can make that funny sure then that's where great pits come from when they come from that uncertainty like okay where is it we're noticed something in that yeah there is something in some FBI some square FBI did yeah listening to Martin Luther King yeah yeah there's a there's like there's a thing that he could say yeah that would turn him yeah so I'm I played with stuff like that so sometimes one of the one of my favorite comedians I have a whole bunch but comedians that always get to me or people that I didn't know comedy could do that so I remember when I heard Dick Gregory on one it's now time called Dick Gregory on hmm and he was the first black millionaire to do stand-up and he has a great book he has a book called [ __ ] but his best book I won't say best well my favorite book of his is called the shadow that scares me and it's really him like giving solutions to all of these like problems that that are you know but that were in the narrative at that time about black folks and I just I was amazed at his writing and I was blown away by his stand-up some of the social commentary with me right and I was like oh man I want to do some of that so I I used to that was back in my 30s and I was trying to solve the race problem you know me [ __ ] with that no more hi that's out my system like but I used to because because I was still in the orbit of the bring the pain like oh I got a half my and I and it just I was like it's not really changing the world man is making some points but I kind of like backed away because I used to do this [ __ ] about being at a rap concert Busta Rhymes and all white folks and I'm there and he goes all my real [ __ ] make some
noise everybody made noise me like the two of the black [Laughter] similary allowed it but can you cheer right so then I go well maybe maybe they didn't hear him but in hip-hop you say everything twice again like I said all my lil [ __ ] Rachel Zoe and so I was like man not only people [ __ ] now who's now saying I was doing this [ __ ] like in Milwaukie I'll go and not only can we call a migit they paying $80 for the privilege to be called $80 a ticket and I'll go white folks tonight I call you [ __ ] for 10 $10 [ __ ] sale [ __ ] clearance cash only because I know how you [ __ ] are right so proud of this bit at the end of the show I'm selling my dumb DVDs you know cinema merged and inevitably a white person will always come up to me give me $20 and call me Nick so late twenties early thirties you you know you you know you know you're the angry commie like what the [ __ ] you know and then now I'm gonna load I go man I'd be funny if I cuz I kept the money you know like I didn't you know for me just living in our space man I was just like nah after I tried it and I was getting that kind of response I just was a thing – were you when you're a comic like you want to be respected so you want to come up with a bit that like it transcends comedy yeah you want it you want everybody to go wild on some real [ __ ] yeah you know it's I think there's a danger in that and that you can kind of trick yourself you can like I had some dumb bit so I did that well I was just trying to get people to think that I was really good rather than it just be good yeah being good this from a real person it's so much of it I had this conversation with Robert Downey jr. about acting and something I said to him and he said exactly I said isn't a lot of it's just about getting out of your own way because that's what a lot of it is a comedy and I think it's with acting I think it's probably the music I think it's probably with everything I think he's got to get out of your own way cuz the way you look at yourself the way you want people to look at you you know you can hold you back how many conversations have you ever had with a comic and they talk about how they want like the respect of the industry they want the people to look at them these [ __ ]
people don't respect me and it's like god damn do you hear yourself yeah you're wasting all this mental fuel on this nonsense my mother-in-law is the best saying my wife says it all the time she goes if you worry about yourself you have a busy busy time if you worry about you you have a busy busy time and you know because when you hear people going on I want damn they don't see that hey man just worry about you all the states you have to do yeah this on that you'll be busy enough and nothing could be you know truer than that when I hear you know comics do that you know comics come up with a lot of excuses hopefully my things aren't going on my favorite one yes they don't want white men they don't want white straight men I'm like what in the [ __ ] are you I'm heard nothing about I've heard that and they said that to me that is so [ __ ] crazy like okay well it's literally 90% of all comedians I'm not trying here's one thing that is true yeah there are certain networks and certain booths that are trying to get people that are not white men that's true however there's still a [ __ ] shitload that are getting specials yes yes the idea that that's somehow in that and really pushing the the you know it just lacks so much self-awareness to say that there's a problem being a white man it's you say when they say it to me you understand I'll be lying what do I do with this so it's so not self-aware what no one guy came to me one time at the economy store and he was complaining about not being a beguiling staff and as I paid regular yeah but he wanted to be a writer yes writer and but now and I it came out that he sold shows in the saga so you have a quote and I go you mind me something but sure what's your quote he tell me you tell me his quote I go do you know what a staff writer makes I know you're not getting hired because you have a quote and you know mean like no one's ever work with you and I really need to know explain what that means for people oh so so um when you sew everything when you sell a television show they give you a contract of terms in case the television show goes and they agree to pay you them an amount per episode of the show of the show that you sold whether it's a variety TV show whether it's unscripted
whatever all those terms are agreed in advance and that is what's called your quote and that quote is specific to the studio you you did the deal with because but that quote can travel to another studio so if you go someplace else they may give you the bare minimum offer and you know I I have a quote right if you are a staff writer and so and typically that quote is is is it is a decent amount right per episode so typically if you're a staff writer I think you get paid I'm gonna say it's less than six thousand dollars a week is how they the math would work out and so you have this thing where you have this quote that's probably thirty thousand dollars in episode I don't know what that would track a week because they amortize it over however long your state it's work and as a staff writer you're getting paid like this amount so no showrunner in their right mind is gonna just ask you to take a pay cut right there from your quote your people won't allow them to do that and no showrunner is gonna hire you at that hot quote if you've never been in the room before like I'm not gonna pay you $30,000 an episode to learn you know what I mean so it's a lot of math missed in you're in this this complaint complaint that you have built for yourself yeah which is fine I just don't want to hear it because I know the math so it's like I hope I did a good job no sense but it's like it's like yeah man you succeeded at selling several shows so that's like the lane you're in unless you come in and go listen I'll take a pay cut I want to learn I'm trying to get if that's really what you want to do when I told them that it it was like I don't know you ever tell somebody like a different solution in the face they make is I wish you know you take producing sleep I wish I got a thing like that face back when the light bulb goes on yeah yeah yeah oh that's what's wrong what the difference is I think between successful people and people who are moderately successful is they're open to that right now you just told me put note books on on YouTube guess what it's gonna be it's gonna be a [ __ ] you know saying I'm going to do it like I'm not gonna be like I don't know you know you you actually connected what I've been thinking like the whole time it's almost like you just gave me that extra
like incentive to yeah man you doing isn't it so I checked in with him no he didn't you know didn't do the thing and and so I almost think like he he needs to feel that he's being you know tellest yeah yeah stacked against so if fuels is oh yeah yeah okay I feel like he's being my lines yeah sure thing this revenant yeah yeah yes that [ __ ] Hollywood world of this incredible it's a gross world man dude the fact that you live here and figured out how to succeed outside of it is a lot of ways but I'm kind of not oh my god yeah go to meetings or do you see people come here what there's no meetings no meetings I say no to everything I say no to every interview I say no to every meeting I say no to everything I'm gonna say yes to no book he did no books yeah but I said yes to that anything my friends do that's not interested I don't want any meeting they don't want to do anything more than what I'm already doing did you have this vision I was wrong to ask you because I just had an audition today you know what to ask you did you ever go for auditions yes did you did it become a thing that you set out to be great at or was it always something that you just were like I'm gonna see what this takes me I'll give you the craziest story about auditions ever as far as success stories I auditioned for two shows ever I got both of them when she shows every audition for audition for a show called hardball that was on Fox it was a terrible baseball show I got it I started off really good but the network [ __ ] it up and then I auditioned for News Radio and I got that so two shows in a row did you home what we do it though did you did we have to go do the first audition callback test and all that all that yeah okay the email who else was uh Newsradio I remember seenu's reading I was 26 so that was only like four years from when I was fighting right so I had a different feeling of fear and anxiety then a lot of people did and I was in the waiting room I didn't that there was an open call and the open call wasn't a noble call but it was like a cattle call there was like 50 [ __ ] dudes waiting to get in there and you would read but it was interesting it wasn't funny I was like what is this but they did it on purpose they wanted to cut out all the corn
balls so he gave you lines and you had to play it straight mmm like the play it was like me trying to think I was a handyman at this radio station so I had to figure something out and I was like I don't know what's going on with it and they're like but you're supposed to fix it but yeah but I can't fix it so I don't know what to do like that kind of thing like there was no there was no punch line I told my manager I was like I don't know I go the pilot was really funny because I saw the pilot and there was another guy on the pilot Ray Romano was actually the original guy on the pilot and they fired him replaced him with another guy then they fired that guy and then they had a call to see who the next guy would be and then I went in to read for it and then the first like the first scrip was not it was just straight it was weird so I said I don't know what to do with it I said I'm just gonna do it straight and so then I got a call back and then I got new sides and the new sides were hilarious and then I realized like oh they're trying to cut out the corn balls yeah they got a bunch of wacky you know [ __ ] real obvious sitcom guys so I went in for the second call and it was me and three of the dudes and they looked like they were about to get shipped off to Vietnam there were white pale sweaty everyone was nervous and I just I remember looked at them and go oh I got this and I sat down and I plot my feet up on the couch and I just I just kept kicked back and relaxed I relaxed I felt good I was like nervous you [ __ ] are yes are you guys gonna go in there and choke yes I just went in there and did it and but also the thing for me is I never wanted to be an actor I just did it for the money yeah like when when I got an audition for hardball it was because Disney gave me a bunch of money for a development deal because I did stand-up on MTV so I did the MTV half-hour comedy hour and then MTV they offered me the most ridiculous deal ever it was like 500 bucks to do a pilot and then if if they decide to do it even if they decide to shoot it and never film it they have you locked up exclusively for two years – it was so ridiculous it was because they had made celebrities with like Denis
Leary like Denis Leary become famous from MTV and then he left so they're like you know we're gonna keep people here now you know we're gonna if we make someone a star we're gonna keep them and so they they offered the most ridiculously lowball deal of all time so I said no to that we said no to that and then my manager sent my tape out and said hey this guy is about the sign this deal with you know someone you know if you guys are interested do it now I think he said might have said MTV so then we got all these offers and so I don't know I couldn't answer my phone they told me don't answer my phone just go to the pool hall stop stop and refocus people call me at home and this is this is back in the day I didn't have a cell phone yeah so then two weeks later I'm in Hollywood having meetings and then a month later in Boston yeah I was in New York okay then a month later I'm living there a month later Bri I'm out in Hollywood with jim breuer jim breuer was on the show with me in the pilot he was the opposing mascot he was hilarious so me and Jim were buddies from back in the day so we're all hanging out and then you know that show got picked up I did like six episodes of that show it got canceled I'm just hanging out the store every night and then I'm ready to go back home to New York but I had already signed a lease so I was [ __ ] apartment for a year and I couldn't get out of it so I'm like god damn and then I got a development deal with them with NBC based on The Hardball Show and so they said hey before we talk to you about doing your own show we'd like you to look at this pilot and see if you'd be interested in it and it's Dave Foley and Phil Hartman and Andy dick and I'm like holy [ __ ] I'm like really I'm like yeah yeah I'm interested in this and then I came in and read for the next thing you know I had it and I've seen oh I'm on TV like I've been doing acting for like a couple of months and I'm sitting at a table next to Phil Hartman I'm like this is crazy like this is [ __ ] crazy and all these different people in that we're on the show it was fascinating man it's fascinating cuz I it's not something I ever wanted I was not interested in it at all but all sudden it was happening I
was like huh but that's part of probably why I was able to do it because it wasn't like this dream that was you Hara lysing me with anticipation and anxiety when I walked in that second audition I saw those dudes sweat and I was like clicking you nervous [ __ ] it brought me back to fighting because fighting I used to love seeing how nervous people were before fights and I would take naps I would lay down on the ground like in the in the bleachers because just to let everybody know I'm just gonna go because it was you playing psychological games like when I would knock guys out or walk away like it was normal like even though I was freaked out dudes unconscious I'll just walk around like that's what I do dude I do that [ __ ] every day I'm gonna do it to you too really and so when I was in that that room getting ready to go in and read I have the same feeling oh you guys are nervous like this like oh I got that guy well so I was the only comic yeah those guys weren't comic didn't weren't these two performing live and all that that's a giant I love that like when I would audition and like a really good-looking guy will walk in I'm like no you ain't funny but you're seriously I would have no fear land whatever you know is a comedy good luck no fear you know it's too hard to be good-looking and funny come on man you can be funny to me let's do it the reason I did Fear Factor because I didn't want to work with actors anymore man that came up I was like cuz I had auditioned for like one or two sitcoms I didn't get after Fear Factor but it was also was a thing was like man I need to make some money like I'm not making as much money doing stand-up and I was used to making TV money and I had development deals and they didn't go in an audition for a couple shows and that didn't happen and then I guess it was like two years because fear factor yeah 2000-2001 fear factor was 2001 and Newsradio ended in 99 and it was a it was an opportunity to do some one no actors I was like [ __ ] yeah I'm in because even the audition process is even weird or you're dealing with all these mind games that people are playing and the in the waiting room it's like you people are so strange they're the strangest people because their life is centered around getting people to like them for auditions right
so they're always they're always trying to pretend they're exactly what these casting people want their political beliefs the way they talk the way they act there's nothing weirder than being around unsuccessful actors ones that are trying to make it like once they're successful like if you talking to like Robert Downey jr. he's a regular dude man yeah he's a regular dude but he's famous as [ __ ] and super successful you know there's a lot of those guys like that yeah you know we're not equate that to when I first moved down here before before you get on a lot right and you're competing with everyone then that's when you hear people in Hollywood a shady people are fooled you can't trust because we all were basically unemployed you know right competing for the same yeah man I'm on me telling me none of us got shot like we all talking right but once I got might like my first gig I made a different character of people Oh cuz they work it and so it is something about it is something about people who figured out you know how to make a living on that they have a you know a lot more you know integrity and a little more credible in an honest and you got me you're a real dude but yeah when you first get here and you're thrown in that line everybody's it's like struggling it took me back to like basketball AAU where like I loved playing I wanted to be a Globetrotter like I know I do like all the tricks and all that stuff I love having fun and when you start getting when I started looking at colleges and getting recruited I always is becoming a business hmm and I wasn't ready for that mm-hmm and I literally liked having fun like playing basketball and I would be playing it's some tournaments with some kids and I'm like to him you know you got a kid oh [ __ ] like you playing for your family you know I mean like and I'm gonna be like good time having a good time and it was serious for them and so you know just like so when I when I came out here I fell into the commercial world for I started booking commercials a lot and I still I still do if I go out my wife was like you should go back out for commercials again because I had the same mindset where alright man but that's a comic I get it I get the
joke I know how to like you know nail it I've booked pilots but then I like because I write to I could see like all the rewriting happening on set and I could tell if it's gonna go on that bye because they always lately let me trying to cute and everything up and I go I get it but in the twelfth hour when you guys are deciding what you know the cute shows not gonna make it so what do you mean by cute and everything up we're we're like so I was before he walked in I was like did you watch curb last last night I did a funny thing about a handicapped placard right and so and it just spoke to everybody wants one of those things it's a man you know and they did a montage of all the stitch you would do if you had a handicapped placard that might that might be in the part of the person you'd be you'd be howling and then as you're shooting it when the handicapped thing is coming off a little mean what if we make it uh you know I mean and then like they button it up to it it's not as gratifying because you're laughing yet but just the primal nature of yeah I mean I would do the same [ __ ] I'm rocking with this noted an acute knit up and then worried about the repercussions yeah they take the edge off yes and then so when you watch it back you go we got this show we got this show yeah I don't really know anybody in this show this guy's a known face they're both you put the known face out you know and but again I am literally onto your quarterback again it could be a series of things like you know but it's rare that someone does it right that's what's interesting with new shows it's not like there's a lot of people that are doing it right and there's a lot of great new shows no what do you think is the next thing though I think first of all streaming services have changed the whole game things like stranger things yes things like those kind of shows now there's a new show on HBO that I'm addicted to called The Outsider is that good [ __ ] yeah yeah it's [ __ ] good it's very good it's terrifying I was very it grabs me like because I watched curb and it obviously like the last two minutes like it's the last two minutes I see I'm like yeah it's Jason Bateman Jason Bateman knows his [ __ ] because Ozark is amazing those kind of shows they're so off the charts in terms
of like what you could get away with on network television right now where television is just so hampered they're so confined they have shackles they just can't do anything wild anything anything outside the norm you can't take any chance I mean this on spoiler alert on the outsider you see a dead kid like 40 seconds into the first episode yeah you cannot not just but malt I mean it's horrible I mean it's it says it's a stunning visual and if you can't handle that it's only you know it's not like something you see a lot right throughout the whole show but it's enough to [ __ ] you up but they'll let you know okay this is not CBS right this is chaos like this is realistic a horror show is you're gonna get it's interesting when I watch yeah it's like everything everything is like a different palette right yeah like if you own if a network show is like clicking I can get our people would get you know fall in love with that the romance at that is good yeah but the but the process the creative process coming from a stand-up brain you know I'm a stand-up first it's it is it's very collaborative and it is like you say it's collaborative with a lot of people who at certain stages you're like yeah you know yeah but but then you saw because I'm just going through it so I was trying I'm being like very diplomatic and I go okay well what why why do you have this job but and it's also like how do we talk to one another because I know what I'm thinking like what is so I'm using it as it and I think cuz I mean I'm a parent now so I'm just like when I swim I you know I'm in this space of just trying to figure out yeah cuz 26 year old me but I'm like man what the [ __ ] are you talking about you know or just feeling like this is stupid this but I'm in this space right now well I'm like okay I know I'm like how you talking to me right now I don't even understand it but I need to I think I need to try to figure it out mm-hmm and you know it's interesting yeah working with people can be rewarding mm-hmm you you definitely learn about communication yeah the problem is it's never as good as your standup no no you know yeah that's real you the problem is you are already a great stand I know and it's like sonic creative yeah over here this that's that
bit but it's the track of the business the business pulls you in the business offers you money the business offers you security they don't make money off your standup in this town no no unless it's a [ __ ] booking agency they don't make [ __ ] off of it right the business offers you this stability you're gonna go to CBS Radford you're gonna pull in every day hi I'm Owen Smith I'm working on the blah blah blah you go in there you got your parking spot whoa I did it man I did it for years and years and years you know I did it for five years on Newsradio yeah it's attractive but that's what I love about you you do you like you did it all yeah so it's like it's done both things yeah I've done well I've done I did two shows that went to syndication yeah I did news radio that went to syndication and then I did Fear Factor that did syndication and I get offers all the time to do stuff on TV I don't wanna have anything to do with it how did you and Stephen a what I meant to ask you that both talking about boxing I was like it wasn't amazing MMA that was amazing thing to watch he's a generalist yes you know and you were very specific and that's but-but-but why was that together yeah because they were trying to he's a very popular guy okay and you know there was a big event Conor McGregor's yeah cowboy Cerrone and then ESPN obviously it's on ESPN yeah okay so when I just saw a clip on YouTube and I go yeah yeah and it was clearly that I felt like I was watching and open my headliner yeah both they have a take on the topic it's not he does not have it's not a good place like you if you're coming from you're coming at martial arts especially MMA you have to have a deep understanding of the sport you can't just have a peripheral knowledge and communicate with someone like me I've been doing this a long time that's a long time I've been working for the UFC since 1997 and I've been involved in martial arts since I was 14 15 years old so it's this is not the casual to me and I'm balls deep in it and I'm also very very respectful very respectful to the fighters very very understanding of what's going on and I look at it in a very comprehensive way his whole thing is making controversy you know his whole thing is he's a great
[ __ ] talker and he's great at [ __ ] on people he's great at mocking people's performances he's just a powerful communicator and an entertainer the problem is you carry that over to mmm a man those fans are not having them right that's what yeah he turned on him like wolves yeah yeah I didn't say anything mean man I didn't say it's some way way way meaner [ __ ] that's why I was watching yeah I don't have anything against that guy I think he's entertaining but it's uh it's just you can't say cowboy quit he got his face smashed in you got a head kicked I mean just just doesn't understand what went down you can't say Connor didn't show you anything he just ran right through a top welterweight in 40 seconds he's a beast it's like I understand what he's trying to do he's trying to apply the same sort of way of talking about sports that he talks about maybe if it's a basketball game or maybe it's something else he's trying to apply that to MMA it's a different thing it's a different thing there's no knock down so you get knocked down the guy gets on top of you and punches your [ __ ] face in you know I'm saying it's not like boxing this it's so it is as raw as a sport ever gets you don't even wearing shoes you know you get your fingers are exposed you got pads on your knuckles you're allowed to elbow someone in the eyeball you're allowed to kick them in the [ __ ] face with your shin your shin bone slamming into someone's nose that happens all the time that's normal that's a normal day at the office it's a crazy sport man yeah so for that sport you have to be super respectful and appreciative of what's going on because those guys are putting their health on the line in a big big big within those girls to those girls [ __ ] each other up man it's rough to watch that was one of the hardest thing for me to get over watching girls get [ __ ] up cuz you don't think about that right I mean I saw that in the talk window days I definitely saw girls get kod but it wasn't his it wasn't as normal [ __ ] in MMA like you see girls get just – man you see him get smashed like girls that fight Amanda Nunez she just beats the flock out of them yeah whoa man it's a crazy sport man man but I don't have
anything against even though that's not why I bought it up I was just on my TV that's what happened like yeah the interesting ideas that come from a different place what if we take Joe and put in that world I don't want to be involved in that world if the SPI wanted to give me a job like nope not interested I don't want to have anything to do with that this is what like we did this fight companion podcast on Saturday night Saturday during the day fight the fights were from New Zealand the UFC fights before the tides of fury but yeah Deontay Wilder fight and we were talking about it and my friend Eddie was like how come they don't do something like this on TV I'm like they couldn't there's no way we're drinking we have whiskey we're smoking weed we're talking crazy [ __ ] you know Brendan Schaub every girl in the live this bitch's ass and this and that everyone's talking crazy they're talking like guys normally talk we're sitting around but we're doing it over the Internet yeah but it gets millions of views so it's one of those things where like if a network had a show like that they'd be like this is this is a hit it's a giant hit for a sports show that's why for a sports show to get way more views than the actual show it's watching so it's a fight companion we're watching the fights and we're talking about the fights but that gets more than twice as many views as the actual fights itself which is kind of crazy that's very great but the only way that happens is if no executive none of those half in half out people we're talking about before that it really could work at the Discovery Channel or the History Channel they're trying to cute and things I'm trying to take the edge off look guys we're gonna cut that second one when you're talking about those girls asses it's just kind of disrespectful and you know I've got kids my own and I've got daughters like get the [ __ ] out of here like you know if we had a producer in here they're like some some networks close in right there oh my god giving us notes at the end of every show you know I couldn't do it yeah when I worked on a late-night talk shows the hoenn aired of a freedom of speech was in the air and that's whenever we would write something it all had to be legally approved I guess the first time I saw
that Oh a lawyer anybody like you guys can't say you know alright man sorry you know we'd figured out you know yeah anyways and then and then out you'd go out in the world and people like freedom of speech oh man this [ __ ] is all legally approved man what you're seeing in this space is it's not like you say like but but when you guys could just say whatever you want is to narrow it down there's few voices as possible to have control like this this is you and me and and Jamie's hanging out this is a three-man crew that reaches millions and millions of people that's insane like that's insane that's never happened before but that's the only reason why it works yeah because you don't have any my sensibilities are all [ __ ] up they're not normal like what I think is okay it's in terms of drugs and violence and all the different things that I enjoy yes it's I mean I'm a hunter I've I bow hunt animals you know yeah that's what I eat I ever smoked pot all the time you know I I'm always swearing like I don't believe in any of these things I I you know I just think that when you're when you're putting together a show there's no way you would ever let a person like me be responsible for the the the job of promoting something to push out like being the captain of a show well you got all these executives and their jobs are on the line and you're gonna have some loose cannon like me who's a wild stand-up comic everything I've done has been wildly OH from the beginning from fighting to getting the stand-up from all it's wild it's wild stuff you know that's what I like I like when it's chaos that's what I enjoy yeah but there's no way you could ever have a network approved something like this there's no way the language saying [ __ ] saying whatever the [ __ ] you want to say talking about things in an honest way talking about what's [ __ ] about life about politics about the the state of the way human beings communicate with each other yeah you got to boil it down just a couple of people when you boil it down especially guys like you and me who are comics who could talk real about stuff who aren't scared of saying their flaws aren't scared of saying where they [ __ ] up and how you know it's those some of my favorite conversations and when you talk about this this [ __ ] you
[ __ ] up when you were young dumb it's fun people hide from that stuff yeah they don't like it they don't like to feel like they're inadequate or or their wish they can feel like they were always good like that's all nonsense yeah this kind of thing were you doing a podcast this is I think this is the future of all those talk shows those talk shows are dwindling they are like they're like flowers in the desert man they're not getting enough water there's no one watching if you look at the numbers like Conan's show it's horrible and you know he's a legend yeah and all these guys are legends but those no one's watching that [ __ ] anymore because you could watch this or any other podcasters something like 900,000 of them oh wow and you could watch them or listening to them anytime you want yeah you could stop it when you have to take a [ __ ] you can come back you know you don't have to wait for it to come on you know none of that nonsense yeah you listen in your car you could watch it in on your computer though I think this is and people are being real the this is a different world now with the internet there's too much real information for you to get spoon-fed nonsense on television you know let those like when I watch those CBS shows like those crime shows I'm like oh people are watching this right old people and people that like have chemicals at work and they come home drunk you know I mean like there's something about it something in the air oh we just want to sit and have something mindless spoon-fed to them exist oh that's those Network shows that's what keeps those things alive yeah those things are so watered down so nonsense is it not real life I wanted to come I wanted to tell you I got I got beef of Malcolm Gladwell really you spoke to him yeah need to connect us what do you have to be for them about I love him right okay doesn't you just listen to his stuff all the time and then he did something with some guy I think he was a little tipsy but he was talking about how he could do stand-up doing stand-up was easy he really said that anybody said it I wanted to send you the clip oh and I just want to be like Malcolm come on Pham he said yeah or something I have to find it he was like doing stand-up is
nothing but any intellectualizing it's a certain set of thing in the room people drinking and he tried to like him and I want him to feel it like I want him and so that's like a guy watches the fight and thinks out [ __ ] yes and what he said and it's like like I couldn't watch him anymore I was like so angry yeah and and now I watched a few clips of him here like man I miss Malcolm but uh he needs to know you can't be if he really said that he just know might just not understand what it is I want him to I want him to like I want to take him to a black room or in the grass they like the realism you know I mean do you think it just see him bomb just feel it cuz you just crackle feel the heat come on it yeah yeah yes yeah it's like to me I was like man you wrote a book about 10,000 hours and you sitting there going I can do this come on man don't do that it seems like but this is what I've been saying about staying it for a while is that if you talk to someone yeah they a lot of people have been funny in their life most people said something funny where everyone can talk yeah right so all you're doing up there is talking and you say something funny it seems like I can do it yeah but did you do it yeah but if you're talking and saying something funny the people who know you and love you know your quirks and your tics and all that's your front of strangers right who may or may not be in that audience that's the difference between don't know if you've ever seen this but there's a lot of people that are maybe podcasters or they do other things and then they're doing stand-up occasionally oh yes they're crowd yes and they think they're doing good stand-up but then they'll go on in the store and it'll get sandwiched into a lineup in the o.r of murderers and then it's ugly it gets ugly cos asks reality sets in because if they're all there to see you and they're all your fans and they paid money hear you talk they just want to see you hey there's the guy from the show yes yeah and they probably never been in the comedy club so if Malcolm is doing these speeches and he's doing these speeches in front of these large audiences he's probably said some funny things so it probably thinks that he can do stand-up the funny guy but when he got I was like ah man I
need I need I need I need to find do need to talk to its it's not one it's I don't think people understand what it is it's a weird it's a very weird art form because I don't I think it's only truly appreciated by people have done it like truly appreciated in terms of what's actually happening yeah and it took me years to realize that what was going on when you're killing it's a sort of a form of hypnosis there's at the mind the audience is letting you into their mind and they're letting you think for them that's why when you have clunky [ __ ] or you blow yourself up or you you have a distorted perception of yourself or you have too many words it's like annoying it's frustrating it's hard for people to absorb you lose some of that grip that you have on them but when someone has an economy of words and they lock in and they're jokes are tight and then they keep going and going you're lost you're lost in their thoughts you just let those people carry I love it I love my favorite things to sit in the audience and loves someone killing I just go along with them like it's so fun it's so fun but to break that down to just sentences and words and you say this you say that it's not that there's so much more to it so many elements that's why I love watching like oh you know what I wish I wish there was a stand-up show you know you know how like I love now that some of these ex NBA players are on ESPN because now they're speaking about the game from being players yeah so you have people who clearly have never played right so very uh you know very learn it you know pundits and that ain't it man never do this is this this this this this that team gonna lose and then if he moves I love their [ __ ] and I wish I wish there was a show like that for stand-up Suika like I watch a stand-up special we would be real it would be hard I know because my boss is hating but it's not [ __ ] special no no no and I know this song though she'd never happen and you watch them and you'd have to break it down you def ago this is nonsense nonsense right yeah but I but I enjoy figuring out that puzzle like yeah like we couldn't do it publicly no oh [ __ ] you know what I've been doing you know my favorite people to do this with me and Eddie pepper sit in the back of the room when you see [ __ ] common he's fun to watch sometimes you're so
fun but it but but what I'm saying like what you know which drunk I'm fascinated by that thing where we're truth tellers we're honest we spend our whole lives trying to figure out what our truth is but we can't speak truth about certain things still yeah because if there's an optics is bad thing is bad optics good what isn't but it's like my intention is to help it you know mean like my intention is not that's why I said I don't I don't like I'm not walking around when this guy sucks I love that you say it's dog [ __ ] but I just feel like what you should have you should have taken a year you know me yeah and this is a good start but he's ready yes in fighting oh yeah they're bad at fighting oh there's people that are terrible I don't know Mike and then they you know they try to fight professionally and they get crushed yeah and then these people that are really good at it and you watch them and you go oh I see what is what's what's separating the creativity the aggression the the understanding the technical aspects of it that's the same with stand up there's people at a mediocre at music is people terrible at poetry there's people that are just they just did they you know maybe they'd still on their early notebooks you know maybe it's just a journey and they just haven't gotten to the point yet but there's also a thing where you were talking about bits that you would do where you tried to get people to think about you a certain way I see a lot of that today you see a lot of this weird woke comedy oh yeah well it's like they're just they're setting out to try to establish this like social justice premise rather than be for money but it's the only way think it's the same mentality and so it's almost always people that are not not really successful yet maybe they've had a little bit of success at taste but the same mentality as those phony actors that haven't made it whether they don't say nice to meet you because they might have met you already so that is a good to see you good to see you what does that mean you know me and my friend Dwayne Kennedy we were we uh we work on our show one time when we were walked a lot and we would just walk up to him we go I mean good things a man I'm hearing
good things yes good actors yes yeah I have a person I know and her boyfriend is a cop not a comic an actor that hasn't made it and he's brutal because all he talks about is like that this guy I don't like his choices like you can't you can't even watch a preview with him Oh God yeah like whatever happened to his career like [ __ ] you don't have a career what are you saying when he's [ __ ] on this guy pay attention to you and you have a busy busy but it's it's not just that it's like it's uncomfortable to be around them because that's all they care about is making it and acting it's all they care about they're not like balanced people that can just talk true yeah I know some comics like that yes damn when you're struggling when you're in the struggle yeah the struggle is a [ __ ] because it's a mindfuck and then also the pressure of that struggle overwhelms you and then when you actually do get a break it's there's so much weight to it you can't carry it carry it do you have anything now do you look back at maybe have you seen some Khomeini's like cuz like when you're in that struggle you're not your best self right yeah for sure yeah have used to have you like ever like made amends or anything like you know or just like forgiving people like quietly because you understand it now it's kind of like being a pair like before your parent you have you see the world one way then you become a parent yeah you know they it's like you know I talk about that a lot that I think of people as being I meet a guy he's 42 he's always been for you – no it's just this is who and I realized oh here's a baby he was yeah he's a baby and then he went through all these years and hearing is all [ __ ] up and confused yes yeah yes it's all I'm fascinated but that too I'm a very forgiving person I forgive people as often as I can yeah I don't think there's any there's no benefit to holding a grudge I agree – I agree with that especially in our business we're in a wild business where people take chances right wild people to take chances like you got a customer yeah and I love that you always embrace that like you you know who else embraces people being over they arm
Debbie Allen is like that yeah yeah man it's like people want to protect people like you know I mean yeah they kind of like walk the world like with no judgment and I like I I like being like that like I love when people do [ __ ] up [ __ ] I know I'm fasting I'm like I would just want to wallow and then what maybe you should I like I like people realizing that they [ __ ] up and then talking about their fuck-ups I like that that's but that's what makes that's the deck I saying greatness and you know talented people the people that can embrace it I think transcend I think you're mopping it's just a powerful human quality yeah to forgive people ability humility is big but also just just being a nice person is so valuable it's so valuable I love hugging people man I love to see I love one of the things I love most about come to the store or the improv is seeing all my friends I loved it we're all in this weird business together but I've been told I'm too nice no I've been told I'm too nice your [ __ ] told you that man out some [ __ ] well gets gonna have another special no that'sthat's poor yeah you're too nice but now you haven't had a special because you concentrated on writing that's all it is you're not too nice yeah that's all [ __ ] that's crazy people when you when things aren't going well right [ __ ] on the outside come up with solutions you're too nice I know it's do different he just starts dealing right he might have to toss the old man to fire your agent he's been with me from the beginning people yeah there's always some solution that they've got yes that's a dangerous thing when things aren't going well you need to do is people yeah all you need to do is listening people even people that are really good people come up with bad solutions oh yeah like my manager my own manager of I've had four I found my manager when I was an open mic er he found me when I was open mic are in Boston I've had him ever since but in the beginning he wanted me to be clean he's like you gotta be clean you gotta be clean clean your act up you get on TV clean your act up but he he let it go pretty quickly but it's also because things aren't going well right you know I have [ __ ] going on nothing's happening
so people like hmm how do we make it happen for you you got to be clean you told me I got to dress up nice and be clean yeah two pieces of terrible advice do you think is still value in that like like why don't they have a late-night talk show with comics can just do their actual act it would have to be on the Internet the problem is all those goddamn people you're talking about like the same reason why you can never have this fight companion or even this podcast on a network there was too many people would interfere they would you know like I have a friend who's an executive may actually talk to me about the you know it's not probably a lot of other things you could do with the show yeah you know you could do this and you can do it okay hey hey stop you're never gonna get a job here I'm never gonna you're not gonna come over to the wild side like this is you can't handle this this is not you this is this is the Internet is a different thing man the Internet is a different thing and if you you involve the Internet yeah and you try to bring the Hollywood people over the they'll just [ __ ] it up yeah they're just ruin it yeah so if any kind of wild ass late-night talk show you have comics sitting around they'll ruin that you'd have to bring that over here you have to bring it over to the dark side and just let people just get all you need is a conference table and some [ __ ] cameras and internet connection boom you're on YouTube of doing it that's all you need in context with all of it that's why not man I'll be watching stuff go man so do you everyone every comic should have yeah a podcast just like every comic has of social media it's really that simple to me I'm uh I'm getting offer that [ __ ] though social media i'ma keep it but I'm following nobody no no offense it's very addictive unfollowed you this morning thank you because I tell people to their face yo followed you then unfollowed you just very distracting yeah it totally isn't on my goddamn or pictures of my dog why am i doing so it's a time waster yeah man so I'm going it y'all can follow me Owen Smith for real whatever no real man whatever I'm trying yeah I'm not I'm not following nobody I'm sorry yeah I'm gonna give it
all my Twitter followers like if I know you and I see you I'm gonna engage that way I'm only gonna post stuff that I feel this funny in fun or whatever it's a good promotional tool that's it but that's it yeah I'm worried about the addictive nature of social media it's very addictive yeah it's very hard to like you could when I take a [ __ ] in the morning I'll go over my email first see if it ends in court like sees a funny line enters Instagram yeah and then I like Lil Duval which makes me laugh I go to that [ __ ] first he's the best him and Kyle Dunnigan are the best follows son Instagram it was funny oh he's from the Baja I was born in Bahamas [ __ ] it's so funny man I'm saw I sold a show to ABC you know I wrote it and they asked me like who do you want to star in it hmm and the whole network thing I was like I don't even know if he [ __ ] with TV now cuz his music career he's doing so well with with performing live it would be a demotion you know man complains yeah yes there's two planes yeah I know I know I know it crazy talk about it but I just think he's sold like you trust him yeah and I'm saying like it's like it's certainly when you see him yeah you know his goal is to be funny yeah and you just trust it yeah even though he hasn't quote-unquote been number one on a car seat before I was man this dude will be he would be the murderous to be murdered but it's a news too late he's free already made his fate they passed on the show so I didn't have to go do with the casting thing anyway yeah back in my mind I was like man he would be the perfect if you had a show that was produced by people that you respect you yeah and like other comics and like really intelligent people that you trusted yeah that would be a different experience completely it will be it will be it won't even feel like work yeah and it would have to be people whose lives didn't depend on the successes are so important yes because you could feel that [ __ ] me yes see what notes and all of them hmm but again like I say I chose to look at it as a challenge let's go what is this let me see how I can you know what this well it clearly benefits your stand-up writing because yeah you have this your stand-up you have you vary widely in your
subjects you also you you have this approach you have a you have a very comprehensive approach to subjects when you you you examine subjects well you know and I think a lot of that comes from your writing and a lot of that comes from also dealing with network notes and dealing with executives like there's there's a benefit but the benefits done you already got all the good parts are yeah yeah you got to break free of the tit gotta break free man so there it is text Owen calm do you could do so many different things man all right I'm different things I'm me hates you up and if you want to do some gigs of me I got a bunch gig I'm announcing a giant tour tomorrow yeah yeah hey yeah just come out tomorrow this will come out come on tomorrow yeah tomorrow okay so haha good morrow meaning today so I'm announcing that's great yay yes let's do it I'd love to take you out I would love it there's marinas yes what's the biggest place you have performed at Radio City Music Hall how many's Russell Peters uh maybe six thousand Oh straight up and let me tell you the Comedy Store my training in the Comedy Store prepared me for that yeah cuz that the run-through I was like how am I gonna play this because it just goes up right when I was on stage the way is set intimately I felt like the you are really it felt like the ill also from a technical perspective I just had to stand there and trust the material and then when I would act out something it was so much more effective then the first nesting like I got a work this stage oh yeah I'm saying it's like if I was a couple of you know just because of my building my height I was trying to figure out what's the best way to like connect there's some people like the pace yeah and pacing us is fine but it's kind of a in you yes and and and and sometimes I pace but but the more I know it the Stiller I can get and then I can I can play now I'm playing you know what I mean I was like it's just the is the work of it all so when I did Radio City story it was fun it's fun like I love arenas because there's no it's um you forget when the drinks are being boarded in tabs opinion huh you don't have that like they're actually just yeah yeah like oh [ __ ] like it's just a
different he's done one in the round yet not yet that's wild I can't wait that's where you pacing around it's fun a be fun is [ __ ] man like I just get man I get chills just thinking of like when I first started we're not a few auditoriums I did in a few arenas nothing not not arenas theater theaters this is like I'm that like I love that [ __ ] well especially for your style of comedy to you love him you have comedy to that's got plenty of room to think about what you're saying yeah you know and that's what you in the theater you got to kind of slow things down a little bit because I remember I went to watch Lewis Black me and Joey yes yes watch Lewis Black he was performing a night before I was okay and we were just we flew in early and and Joey was like let's go across the street because that was where the theater was and so we got in we sat down and I realized that when he's that maybe there was in New Jersey might be the theater didn't have the best sound nothing New Jersey has a bad thing when he was in his middle of his he was killing I had this big laugh and then he would say a tag line and I couldn't hear the tagline because everybody around me was laughing and then I realize like oh you got to hold these these taglines a little in a place like this because the laughter is too loud because you actually hear people next to go ha ha ha ha and you can't hear what the [ __ ] he's saying unless the volume so overwhelming like you got to know and then on stage it's hard to realize that because there's the monitors and the monitors are you know you can hear yourself very loud there so you might not the people in the audience might not be able to hear it as clearly it is a different pacing thing I love it though man this is so interesting about that is when you what I like to do sometimes is look at what other acts come to that venue in a lot of times it was like if it's like um you know jazz ensembles or things where is not like a lot of laughter mm-hmm like in that space you got to remember like it's 52 weeks in the year maybe for those weeks it's us right I mean yeah every time it's like it's dance there's all these other things ya know doing this [ __ ] so yeah that the
place is even like what the [ __ ] is all this noise like consisting at a rapid yes yeah you do it bounces and you gotta like this that's different what's your thing that you do when people are laughing a lot you don't say like if they if you got a lot of laughs you know so you know some people like to do that fake laugh if I laugh it isn't laughing no I know laughs yeah let's take a puff yeah like what's your oh just in the moment man I stay in the moment I try to stay in the moment but I definitely never give off a fake laugh yes if I'm laughing it's because I think it's funny in the moment they're so gross this to fake laughs that I just can't tolerate yeah I see guys fake laugh even good comic sometimes I want to go please stop I know I know please stop because sometimes it's funny sometimes it really is funny but you're lying to me you're pretending do you think this is hysterical right now when you said it 150 times in a row exactly the same way and you pretended like you just realized how funny it is right I had a tag line the other night that I never used before and right after I said I start cracking back to the best that came out of nowhere because I realized like there's a I had a point in the middle of this bit and I said the point and they're like cuz it was so ridiculous and it was all so real like in the moment I came up with it I ad libbed I set it on the spot and then I started laughing those are those are real laughs but I don't hardly ever laugh along unless I'm really I might be real high sometimes of just you know most the time I'm in the groove right you're just thinking about what I'm doing I'm just trying to do it my best but there's times when I'm up there I'm like man I can't believe I get to do this can't believe it remember you go back to thinking about time when you were 19 you're watching Chris and Tony and then think now you know you get to do it in the best comedy clubs in the world yeah and it's just the greatest job on earth it's nothing like it there's nothing like it and so that's bringing back to Malcolm Gladwell man see you in these comedy streets oh my god I was like God like for real ask my wife like I couldn't I can't I couldn't listen to him for a
minute and that was my man has he had these podcasts mm-hmm when he was dissecting stuff and you know he's a brilliant guy fan and sometimes brilliant people overestimate their perceptions they overestimate their their ability to break something down yes I mean that like I've had conversations with people about fighting that way where people say hey if anybody ever came out to me I would do this and then I would do that if they say that Mike Walker this is a it's hard for me to hear I'm just gonna let you talk because really I want to just tackle you right now yeah people have this idea cuz a person moves in a way that's similar to the way that they can move they think I could do that I lift weights I'll [ __ ] that guy up they have these ideas and they think oh he's out there talking I'm a brilliant guy I'm smarter than them I understand things are I right I'm always performing and because I'm always talking about this I just and it would be easy a little Yale does it Malcolm what about do to you is so personal why you taking my being criticized might have to here is exactly yeah I got a sentence we have we found it he was feeling something it's him and another guy I was talking about jobs that are really hard and he picked stand-up comedy and there's a couple quotes that guy defended stand-up comic yes very well it seems like but what is this something that you and I couldn't figure out where where exactly was it is it Chloe else's I was a podcast in it somewhere like an interview okay you saw it in quotes right right yeah can I see the glutes oh it wasn't very it was very clear okay so but basically give me your synapses of it then like he thought people were too drunk so it was really easy yes like there was the room was set up for them they're coming to see them so it's easier he just doesn't know like he's guys are very like singular he must have been like one or two stand-up shows and it's like oh wow he's right sometimes though he's right sometimes we've all seen shows where people are laughing at [ __ ] I didn't when he I don't hear from him right show and you went on Jeselnik went on and Diaz maybe louis c.k dry right dave chappelle did
ten minutes now can get their good [ __ ] luck not having a heart attack but he's also right in that we've all seen mediocre thoughts get passed off in the audience laughs like there's certain clubs I don't want to mention any names but you can go to them any night of the week in Burbank or in North Hollywood okay since [ __ ] comedy and people are laughing they're laughing and it's like real clunky low-rent what if that's the only look that's what he was like he knows it could be where he was straight beer but I mean this is a difference between talking about any sport right you could watch someone do it poorly on a playground or you could watch someone do it exquisitely as a professional and you go oh oh here it is Gladwell stated comedians deal with people in a tightly controlled setting that he cannot imagine an easier set of circumstances for navigating a social situations and a stand-up comedian they go to Vegas they go to the Comedy Cellar they control their environments I was like this this is who what is this article that's [ __ ] on it what's it from Malcolm Gladwell fails stand-up comedy 101 was the person who wrote it was have their name anywhere really it's the guy who's dead calm Nathan Tim old calm Nathan Nathan the comic yeah well he's right yeah yeah I mean he's Malcolm's right in a sense he's right in a sense but he doesn't understand is there's a mind wrestling that's going on before you actually go and do that and to sort of diminish the difficulty of that it just shows that you haven't done it that's what it felt like yeah and so I was like I couldn't I couldn't because he said it in the same exact voice he says everything else is so when he was breaking down something that I really want to hear I'm not sick he's so brilliant in so many different ways I couldn't shake it I was yeah that 10,000 hours [ __ ] yeah he wrote outliers right that's him right yes yeah that that book is amazing what talks about the Beatles and know the beat like people think the Beatles came out of nowhere those [ __ ] did thousands and thousands of shows that's what's up it's just numbers yeah it's numbers and concentration and focus and just with that being what you really want yeah you know it's not just numbers it's numbers
of like passion numbers of focus yeah yeah yeah he's wrong he's wrong but but I get it I get why he thinks as it is a tightly controlled environment but it's so easy to bomb and that tightly controlled environment has no idea some doesn't Averell some some rooms are tightly controlled in right but starting we didn't know we can form in tightly controlled environments yeah backyard bars bars yeah yeah like there's so many other spots but you also have to make comedy happen yeah and those phases where there's a big moat between you and the audience I did a Jackson jail strip club Jack and Jill strip club in Woonsocket Rhode Island there's a guy once a is you there's a guy named Brian dearie he used to book these gigs I think still around he should book these gigs in Rhode Island and some of them were great but occasionally they were terrible and this one as far as I know I think I was alone I think I was a one-and-done okay I think they killed it after either because it was only like four people in the crowd and I went up and it was a guy and a girl Jack and Jill strip club is a there's an old concept that didn't really take off where couples would go and the guy would go and strip and the girl would go and strip and they both looked like their parents drank while they were in the room both they're both had terrible tattoos this guy had terrible tattoos and he had them covered with bandanas so you're like like bandanas around his arm you can see like the shitty tattoo poking out of the bottom and he wasn't it was built goofy he's built like a guy who like lifts weights but he drinks every night I mean like it wasn't strong potbelly it wasn't like if you go to Vegas and you see those like the men from down under their noses they're both disgusting they're both disgusting it was and I'd like to say I bombed but bombing usually you hear some noise right like people are mad at you it was they were not even recognizing that I was talking oh my god so I got offstage and there was like a little pool table in the back and there was a dude who just happened to be in town because his family lived there because it was around the holidays and his family lived in Rhode Island and he just wanted to get out of the house
so he came to this local bar and any in he goes hey what the [ __ ] is this place and I go what are you doing here and he goes I'm just here my [ __ ] family lives around here and I just came here cuz there's nowhere else to go what the [ __ ] is this place this is so strange and he and I had a game of pool we were laughing hilarious yeah I'll never forget it it was so strange was so strange that's not a controlled environment those gigs those gigs seizing you though yes you you get you you develop the crust yes a layer of protection where you could go up in front of those people yes and you also know when you get offered those gigs what is it gonna be like yeah just by the tone my man is gonna be great as always packed ions okay all right where is it again sure there were some that were always packed there was some gigs and I'd get old-school shitty bar gigs that were fun man yeah there were wild they made me cuz they fed me right those gigs fed me when I was poor but it's every situation is different he basically saw like the Lakers of you know stand up I mean and he thinks it looks easy cuz they make it look easy yeah it falls into that trap that's all fright yeah that's like thinking that someone's making something thinking thing is something is easy because someone's a master yes like like did you ever see that video where Michael Jordan came out of retirement and that didn't come out of retirement he would retired but there was a player who had been talking [ __ ] about yeah I saw that oh yeah then they and and when Mike came back he they played one-on-one he was just destroying like sir but he did it like laughing yes and joke and he made it look so easy to go and then the guy realized like oh oh there's levels I do that I do that sometimes because you know what else happens out here will be working stuff out yes working stuff out for sure I'm right now I'm not I'm not in the gear that I would be in of course yes I'm I'm figuring it out and this is a safe space to try to figure it out yeah I see some people like you know whatever he struggled after me I'd be like I put me in front of you and then I would just do your best [ __ ] and I know
and I will make sure I Cassie they face like while I'm doing that taking the chances look Chris Rock does that better than anybody air I've seen Chris Rock going after people killed running killed he gets his giant round of applause and he was relaxed relaxed yeah this [ __ ] is not gonna be that funny I'm gonna tell you right now was on new [ __ ] I'm working out it ain't that good and he'll walk around and joke and laugh and says it's not that good and he'll like bring everybody down calm him down and then purposely [ __ ] around damon wayans used to do that too he's so fun Damon Wayans is he's one of the unheralded greats he's doing it again yeah he was doing it again but he's also doing sitcoms again – oh yay so zone yeah he was gonna do we had actually talked about doing a podcast it was yeah yeah remember he's like same thing crazy Oh cuz he's got a show and stuff read some drinks going though some ice starts clinking start talking [ __ ] and he's got some story Damon's look he had a joke about Magic Johnson way back in the 8th in the in the days where when magic went back to playing when he had HIV I would never forget this who's he was like everybody was afraid to cover magic he said except for Dennis Rodman Dennis like [ __ ] I [ __ ] Madonna I'll spit in your mouth and accelerate your symptoms the best joke ever [Laughter] [Applause] Damon is man oh he's an animal I got to witness like like the stuff he says between the lines is so complete you know I mean he's so [ __ ] good he should be recognized as one of the greatest of all time but he went and did a bunch of TV shows and and while he was doing those TV shows you know he did clubs and he [ __ ] around a little bit like that but he didn't dedicate to it the same way maybe Katt Williams did or some other guys did that became huge and you know had a bunch of big time specials in that era but he was always gotta meet oh yeah you could still do it right now Damon if he wanted to go on tour and start hitting theaters and start doing a Netflix special he would blow people away destroy he was wanted to pee when I showed me it was it was okay to be tall and funny oh that's
hilarious no I mean like we've talked about this yeah yeah yeah anything he was cool he was cool and but then he could get goofy he was silly man who's silly but goddamn you're a great writer yeah great ride a great performer and part of one of the great look there's two greatest sketch well there's a couple other ones that are two input for pound-for-pound funny there's in living color and number one is Chappelle show Chappelle shows number one cuz it only lasted two years right and still this day as some of the most legendary sketches of all Clayton Bigsby well the most legendary sketches of all time all the Rick James [ __ ] oh yeah legendary but in living color in that era oh my god that era that was the show for that era yeah and Damon was a giant part of that and Keane and then it was stuff you had to see yeah race home to see you couldn't yeah but Damon somewhere along a lot look at the world was a different place back then but he had decided that he was gonna do movies remember he was in the last Boy Scout with Bruce Willis he was a movie star he was doing action movies yeah you know and then he got that sitcom he did that sitcom for a long time and the promise it comes as they give you that juicy check every week ooh if you're a famous guy who's the lead of a sitcom like guys like Kevin James never have to work again ever ever for life you get that juicy check that juicy the show went for six years check yeah it's a trap to trap for someone who's a great comic yeah because at the end of the day it's never gonna be as good as doing stand-up it's never gonna feels good there's a thing about when it pop there's a thing about when when you hear a dude pop in the in the main room like you're in the back green my favorite doesn't my in my professional life yeah out of all the things I've done whether it's a UFC or podcasts or TV shows that the pop of someone murdered in a club where you're hanging out and you watch someone just destroying Joey Diaz did this bit about Terry Crews that they cut out of his Netflix special yeah yeah it was too risky literally crazy Netflix was like [ __ ] you it was because it was a me-too thing and it was but it was basically saying that like it was basically mocking Terry Crews like it
was Terry Crews threatened because he's a goddamn [ __ ] super ass like Terry Crews is a massive man yeah I mean the idea that some agent touching his dick was actually terrifying it's so ridiculous but Joey Diaz had this bit about you shouldn't have done that underwear commercial with you I'm not doing it any justice do it anymore unfortunately but a bit me and and and Santino we were in the back other you are literally we couldn't stay in the chair we were on the ground we were just clinging to the table just hanging on and Joey screaming and his sweat flying off of him and he's beet red but those are my favorite moments in life when some of those pops you don't get those pops and you do a sitcom you get a lot of money you get everybody make any bagels it's real it's one yeah you got a parking spot but it's it's a it's a velvet prison do you think your insecurity rises when you are being coddled and treated like that mine does yeah I was wondering yeah mine does I got fortunate in that when I did Fear Factor I never stopped doing stand-up and never stopped oh I was always at the store always keep I was scared cuz I had [ __ ] up during news radio when I was on news radio I went for a long stretch where I was barely doing stand-up because we were long hours when a sitcom is first getting is trying to figure it out it's like 12 hour days it's long I would do sets but I wasn't writing any new material and then I had a writer one of the writers and one of the producers came to see me on age who bombed hard in the main room like a Late Show on a Friday night Friday or Saturday I ate [ __ ] yeah I tanked Soner and I see them they were real close to what fourth row and like oh my god this is embarrassing and it was only maybe 30 people in the old crowd that's tiny it was already killing Everybody Loves Raymond by then he was happy but hey Maury was a friend of mine still is but it was I was happy that I didn't take his job I took the job of the dude who took his job okay it was like okay this is okay but when when I did that I realized okay I'm [ __ ] off here I'm just doing this sitcom and I'm not I'm losing the thing that I love I'm not good anymore all right guys I sucked yeah and then a year later I wound up
doing my Warner Brothers special my Warner Brothers CD I've really got my [ __ ] together again I started doing multiple sets around town I started writing a lot more I started really taking it seriously because I realize like you can't do that you can't fall apart you can't no you can't just start bombing no man nah man you get soft man you can get soft and they were making me soft too like one of the producers was like why you still doing stand-up I'm actor now oh that's what everybody wanted even Seinfeld took time off he did he did Seinfeld then stopped doing stand-up yeah a lot of people got brought into that trap yeah you know it's hard it's hard to get hired as a writer too because it's almost I'm learning it's almost like the difference between improv cats and stand-up cats right so if you're a writer if that's what you do you write then they may feel they may have a certain bias or feel a certain type of way towards a comic their rights mm-hmm okay it's like you deal with it everywhere is that better you can always leave always and you always have and you have you basically you're sitting in a room and you got you got two jobs you know I'm saying so I was like we got this job but I'm also gonna do this other job yeah I thought I might one beat no but one job was to sit next to somebody with two jobs I totally get it actually with comedy because they're comedies kind of unproven yeah like they think they're funny right how do you know you're funny how do you really know I've always wondered that was like that's a courageous thing I've ages right now you're a comedy writer and you don't even perform like how do you know if it's funny like who told you you're funny I know who told you are you sure Malcolm Gladwell cuz I really wanna listen to him again so I mean I'm me I need We Need to Talk man he's right I was the reporter if he was here right now he would I'm sure he would see our perspectives right and then I could listen to him again cuz I miss it he's right though in certain ways he's right it's a very controlled environment that's the reason what he saw but you know what else I read an article by another guy is his thing that's happening to people who aren't that
strong in comedy or writing articles about coming you know me like in international finger comic I've seen him he's not why they speaking for us yeah and you're like comedians another model is but he's like oh I read this article this woman wrote about men not being funny and I've seen her act talking about forcing many eager [ __ ] and is one of the the worst bits I've ever seen in my life and like this is hilarious but yet she was able to write that thing on that platform and it's like an amazing thing that's happening like everybody's a pundit everybody isn't going well if there's money to be made and clicks yeah that's what it is if you can especially if you're writing an article like [ __ ] on someone who's done something wrong like louis c.k or someone else or Aziz Ansari someone who's gotten in trouble right go after them and they know they're like that's why the pile on happens because it gets people attention it's a very profitable lucrative ventures very yeah yeah yeah there's a lot of people writing stories or articles about comedy where they're they're dismissive they don't know they don't really truly understand what they're talking about yeah it's like so many gaps whoa what's this and yeah all that stuff annoys me and I don't care you much but it was so funny cuz I when I sat he was like oh you're Malcolm Gladwell said here do something like that one sound – he was on like HBO talking to Bob Costas about comedy I'm like why is this happening and he said and Terry said I don't know who the next people are these young comedians don't study that's a great offense they don't study he said they don't study what does that mean he said he said they don't know they don't study the crap you know or they don't know you know I guess who who came before them or what generalizations like that are so crazy to say so here's the soul so I'm at how most of each comedy magic club and Jimmy Brogan who I call like the the comic whisperer like he goes you know Jerry's performing you want to come come down of course so I go watch Jerry perform and then he invites me in the green room and when I see Jay I couldn't help myself I go hey man you can't be going on TV saying comedians don't study he goes I know you a man whatever
because I studied you can't do that you you're dismissing a whole generation people listen to you yeah he goes alright man fine you wanna have a seat to my left is Jay Leno is like Kevin Nealon is like all these heavy hitters but I just saw him yeah and just had to put the game yo what are you doing like yeah you know you're right but sometimes people say things either just talking I don't even know if they have a point they just hoping they could formulate it as they're talking you're right and he was right to to let it go it was so chewy that was easy mark Normand who's a friend of mine games with him he says he's great I said Jerry's a great guy believe it yeah and he just well he stills doing it and he's got five hundred million dollars in the bank he's still doing it dude he's been doing it well forever 80 he's always working on it holding it you like still does it yeah he still does it legitimately he's basically he's one of those guys that did what you're telling me to do you got it you gotta trust it all the way ma you just gotta just do because something you say how do I write some days when I when all I do was write comic oh yeah I think I could take my [ __ ] so yes you know and it's the best and you know how you said that you're consistently inconsistent yeah oh yeah that's a that's a hallmark of a funny person strange thing like most comics are we are very impulsive crazy people right you know you know we don't necessarily have discipline you know I'm just very fortunate that I was involved in something else before comedy that required discipline because you're [ __ ] physical health is on all of it like you had to have discipline I'm gonna get my brains been so like that transfer it over to stand up but it's so easy to [ __ ] off man when I come home from the Commodore and it's late at night a lot of times I just want to go sleep yeah I don't want to do anything I want to watch TV on the [ __ ] off but I sent from that god damn laptop sitting from that laptop I'll spark a joint I'll go outside a sparker joint that's the best I'll stare at this stare at the sky yeah come back inside stare at that laptop and then I'll start writing and I force myself as I'm gonna do one hour maybe I'll do more than one hour
but I'm definitely gonna do one hour and I set a timer you ever take my Mitch Hedberg story which one I did a skit with him Wow when I was 26 someone yeah man so me and Mitch met at the Chicago Comedy Festival and we clicked right and we were walking around was living in Chicago Tucson and we walked around he was like you know I'm about to be rich man deal or whatever in much y'all I couldn't get much y'all to like look at me but I he had just crushed in Montreal he goes uh about to be rich man he pulls out this velcro wives he goes you see this ring I live in Seattle it's the pawn this ring so I could eat and then I would go eat and get a gig and then buy back I'm gonna have to do that no more so he just sounds some big deal so I needed a shirt for his HBO half-hour special one when he's sitting on the steps mm-hmm and so I helped him pick out that shirt and then I had a gig in Minnesota like after the first regionals can I ride with you so we road trip to Minnesota because he was from st. Paul I spent a night in his in his home and that's me I learned he was like a chef and all that stuff it so we really clicked we bump into each other on the road we were in Houston and uh he goes when I decided I wanted to do comedy I had asked it I'm taking it acid I got my notebook and everything I saw I wrote it I was it helped me funny like that so I did a say rhythm and and we're both in this hotel like the woman it was a woman who was a dealer you know she came over and you know tell room and that's when I learned what cartoons come from like everything I saw was like a [ __ ] cartoon and I was tripping man and he videotaped me tripping and I'm going why is a a why is B B is the letter Green good who said who said to like he's videotaping me needs Lilly goes I'm that clearly man we're going you should do this on stage stay stay stay like I'm like scatting man right going and I'm seeing on saying and then like I started I was on this whole thing like all I kept thinking about was [ __ ] right and I saw and I was dating this girl and this is back we use a calling card was my my mom's number in hers and I was afraid that I've called in the girl as I was talking to her on
the phone and I was on the bed are you high you know just [ __ ] up the whole thing and I go yeah don't don't do anything don't jump I was like why are you putting that [ __ ] in my head like cuz whatever she saw I could see like I could physically see it and then I look over in the bed next to me in Mitch's like [ __ ] the girl that bought the you know like oh [ __ ] I'm in the orgy but not really like and then like my body started shaking and the whole [ __ ] like left my my body so that's how like you know that was my my experience I never did it again never desire to do it again but I did it with Mitch and it was like it was like this crazy thing and so we used to we would do colleges separate of one another and we would leave each other notes and [ __ ] you know and he would like kill it man or whatever and once I was doing some college and but [ __ ] Pennsylvania about five but it was it was somewhere in Pennsylvania and he he had just done and that's when I learned about him passing like I was literally reading his note when I heard about the air was reading the note that he wrote he wrote me when the news broke like did you hear about Mitch and it was like yeah man me and Stan hope we're on the song we were know together yeah when we found out that he was no I was what ever happened in Vegas I was in that one I was the original this is like many years ago yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah come what are you doing yeah I didn't know I could say that to him I was I think I was in Vegas independent I was like but we were cool so I was there like this is crazy Yeah right after he was married it's something happen where his girlfriend mouths up to a cop and they bounced her head off the hood and arrested her Jesus bro yeah um anyway we found out that Mitch had been brought brought to the hospital he thought he was gonna lose his leg had been shooting this one same area and he got gangrene I was like damn and then he got free of that and and healed up but he went right back to it he would not you know he didn't have any desire to kick heroin it's really interesting like I'm not and they call me the naive detective like I never knew that he did that cuz whenever I saw him we were working out he we would always go to the gym he was mad competitive like he would run the treadmill really
yeah he was like he was competitive like he would he'd like me to open for him cuz he liked to work like he was like hmm he didn't want me to hold back he's like oh man like I just that's the side that I saw of him and then when he had to deal with the show and all of that [ __ ] he'd would do material about it because it's it's such a different experience than from what he is you know yeah dealing with the notes of it all and all that [ __ ] he was like you know I pitched an idea I wanted to do this idea it became I yeah the dream is not the reality yeah that you know but the dream his dream was his stand up to this day I'll still like I like to listen to his stand-up when I'm on my way to the airport this is like stressful it's like but his staff was so silly Oh silly so silly so you know so my favorite joke his banana joke somebody asked me do I want a frozen banana I said no but I want a regular banana later so yes [Laughter] like this he had so much of that that was I just enjoy that it was very silly I didn't you know I don't I don't know what when he got into the heroin I don't know when but yeah I mean is so crazy like I mean I knew he did his thing but I think people like people just never did that [ __ ] in front of me right no one ever did in front of me either but I knew they were doing it we had a buddy of mine in New York that died from it he was snorting it yeah but he got into pills and a lot of that's what a lot of times they find out about oxys and yeah these snort pills and it's just opioids it's just that I mean that crisis is something that just swept through the entire world and so many people are dying from that [ __ ] yeah man I've never done it but I did I did get a morphine drip once when I had my knee fixed this is like just made you feel like like the world was filled with love just caressing you everything was a lot like a womb feeling yeah protected you're safe you're gonna be okay amazing which makes sense that a lot of musicians and a lot of people wanted that because so many people that are like really super creative or they're they're kind of in pain a lot of those people are like they're that like you when you think of Nirvana you think of
Kurt Cobain the screaming all that like this that's coming from a place of a pain right yeah and then that dude would go off and do heroin mmm well I'm glad you're not doing heroin Owen nah fam I was always know you know then he by his passing um coke cocaine overdose scared me from doing anything because he was all muscle yeah and I was like if cocaine could take him down I don't stand a chance like I've never had a six-pack this dude I'm a you know I'm saying super athlete when that happened like that's my brain was I auditioning for me and so we'd I do I did mushrooms once [ __ ] my pants booze white couch oh no a simply thing I never liked that guy using he's like is over to me about this purpose this [ __ ] on his dumb white council white carpet all right man see this we're gonna wrap this up it's three o'clock Tech so uncom will be at the improv together Wednesday night for the 10:30 show Owen Smith calm so your website wasn't it like Owens calm social media almost myth for real but most important go to text Owen calm and I'll send you [ __ ] phone try to break it phone break that [ __ ] bye everybody bye [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music]