Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP6iyunJq1U
[Music] hello hello good to see you again i am thrilled to be here and now we know that you had kovid i had covet and you shook it off like it was i shook it off i mean i didn't need those monoclonal i mean you're a weak person joe if if you were like me you wouldn't need that stuff i wouldn't need anything i was i didn't even know you had it i had it i was out there spreading it unaware that i was spreading it i feel so bad i was wearing a mask most people i don't think that works most people did that most people are out there spreading it i mean they say like the the people that don't show any symptoms the asymptomatic folks that were in the high 40 percent wow that's a lot of people it's crazy yeah but this is not like even pcr tests right because one of the things that as of december 31st the um i believe the cdc put this regulation in place they stopped using the standard pcr test for kovid because there's too many false positives they're they kept people with influenza other coronaviruses common colds we're testing positive food now do you feel a certain responsibility i have so many questions i know it's the joe rogan experience but this is going to be me interviewing questions is like do you feel a certain responsibility to because just even chatting before the the the breadth of knowledge that you have on this i mean and it's shifting constantly right so like omicron is like for me omicron was kind of like uh a dateline episode they're like here's what we know but now go to a commercial break and like they just kept we still don't know but like you seem to know and you obviously interview a lot of brilliant people like me that um will give you some of this information but like look when i met you you were uh this was before a news radio and you had stand up where you were like uh imitating tigers [ __ ] how do you go from that to like you know like particularly on kovic because the information's changing how can you stay updated
i don't know it's a strange path yeah right it's a very it's well it's not a path that i took on purpose that's right that's what's weird about it well you've always had a curious mind yes of all comedians yeah i think so yeah for the most part but um with uh not just with covid with pretty much every discussion that i have with people that's about something that's fascinating to me i just have a very unusual memory yeah and i also i have this uh i i have this unique opportunity opportunity to pick people's brains and have these conversations with people where i can ask them these questions right and it's it's invaluable here's my other main question that i've been dying to know how do you because in the entertainment industry or creative people we all know that um you know there's the drive there's uh but the downfall is ego how have you navigated this empire where you now own three-fourths of texas and how how have you managed to not succumb to like some shakespearean story of where hubris do you know what i'm saying like how are you not self-destructed where you're like you know what i i go on my meth bender you know i mean like you don't do any of that no i i exercise really hard that's that's the big i'm not like sounds like [ __ ] but that's really what it is that grounds you though yeah yeah yeah because the the training that i do the martial arts stuff and kettlebell stuff and the strength and conditioning work it's so hard that everything else is easy and then i do like ice baths and saunas and they're so hard that everything else is easy and so that's where i struggle i struggle in those areas so that i don't like have this existential angst in the rest of life well all right so we strip away we take what if i stole your kettlebells what if i uh what if you what would joe rogan be like without the exercise and the instagram uh a close-up of a sweaty face i worked out today i didn't want to but i did it what would you be like without that outlet you'd be filled with insulin not good if
i just take a couple days off if i take a couple days off i'd get weird you'd be fatter than me you think for sure you'd be you're superior i you know like i i got coveted i didn't even notice it but i i didn't get the original covet i got the new version yeah i got you know gallagher ii of covid right i got like it's like a crypto version of i didn't get like i got like one of the crypto you know like when you're on your coinbase account you're like who's buying this [ __ ] you got new coke yeah i got no coke i got another coke that didn't last did it and is some of it is it yoga do you meditate yeah it's all those things yeah i i do a lot of my meditating while i'm in the sauna yeah i used to listen to books on tape in the sauna yeah but i realize it's actually beneficial to my head to just have nothing and just go in there and sit and think so for 20 minutes every day i'm just sitting and thinking in this [ __ ] oven and when you go to bed in your chamber yeah right in your tank do you sleep in an oxygen tank you don't no no but you use one sometimes you do i use a hyperbaric chamber sometimes is that what lebron does right oh yeah yeah a lot of athletes do it's really good and so but when you go to bed you're not like me falling asleep with a tv on you there's no tv in your bedroom no i don't want there is one but i don't use it you know and you've never even turned it on what is your guilty pleasure food you put mustard on your elk meat what is your likes to eat a lot of food you do love like those cheat meals when i see like uh the rocks cheat meal it's like so he is not eating anything like he's not doing bread or sugar and then he's like he just the amount of diarrhea he must have on those cheat days right it's gotta be like i don't i'm not cleaning that bowl have you ever met him i have not he's enormous he's like he's a big guy superhero status like when you're around him like you can't believe that's a real problem yeah but is he happy he's very happy he seems very happy he's like a bazillionaire he's very wealthy but uh my point is like his body can take in all that food like there's plenty of room there's
plenty of room he's eating stacks of pancakes and giant cookies and ice cream and and that you know has once he sells his liquor company then he's gonna be like i never drank any of that but uh what about it do you have your own liquor no no i have my own one and but you i drink though yeah but like you haven't been approached to have your own tequila or vodka i've been approached by some companies to do stuff i mean i may in the future what i really like is whiskey though i'm a whiskey person what about bourbon bourbon you know bourbon whiskey yeah it's just a kentucky form of it well i like uh bourbon i i think bourbon is actually an american version of it right i like scotch too but what i like is old stuff that's the problem it's like if you want to make whiskey right like buffalo trace yeah it's eight years wow it's gotta sit in the barrel for eight years what's the most expensive whiskey that you've drank like you're like i can't believe i had it i drank some 21 year old scotch it was pretty expensive it was really good though oh yeah i've had 21 year old scottish that's amazing we have some 18 year olds here i get nervous um sure i'll have some is it 21 years old i think it's what do we got here 12 or 18 or something hold on i'll find out what joe does is he gets his guess a little bit buzzed and then before you know it before you know you're talking [ __ ] yeah uh this is uh glenn these are not sponsors glenn livett this is 18 years old and this is mcallen this is 18 year old i think macallan for you gaffigan it's like a seems like it goes with your heritage my heritage i don't know do you drink i do i drink occasionally occasionally well this is an occasion my friend i mean it's been 25 years since i did but [Laughter] cheers cheers good to see you brother um like that's smooth now i gotta start over this is why i like this i know now one day sober no but like so that's you work out in the morning yes and you'll how how many days a week will you drink alcohol
it depends on how many podcasts i do and what kind of animals are in here like if comedians are in here they'll have to drink yeah you know oh i like to have one drink before a show just to kind of like get loose how many more years do you think we have with bird crusher i mean i love bert i love but like he is he is kind of like it's uh he's a machine but like it's like the science project the machine has been running at full throttle for a while and there's sand in the gears [Laughter] no i mean honestly we love birds i love them to death but i we like tom is his best friend and tom and i have had conversations where we express concern and i mean i don't know what to do i mean you can't like you know we that's one of the reasons why we did sober october we had this big competition it was to save bert yes no really 100 oh my goodness yeah it was the same bird because we thought he couldn't take a month off in fact his doctor was nervous about him taking a month off because he might thought there might be a shock to the system yeah well alcohol and benzodiazepine are the two drugs that are the most dangerous to just quit cold turkey those are two drugs where people die from every now there's alcoholics listening well joe said keep drinking keep going well you're supposed to wean yourself off of it and you're supposed to like when people detox from alcohol they do it under medical supervision because it's it's very sketchy it can be really dangerous for your body wow your body that's i believe that's what killed amy winehouse really i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure she went cold turkey off alcohol see if that's true i'm pretty sure though because she was a really bad alcoholic brilliant i thought it was other stuff it was alcohol and other stuff i think it was the alcohol that killed her if i remember correctly i might be wrong we'll find out shortly it feels like with generations found dead inside her london apartment multiple investigations have concluded that winehouse died of alcohol poisoning oh wow so she drank too much with a coroner's report after her death
revealing that winehouse had a blood alcohol content of 0.416 more than five times the legal limit to drive yeah but i bet she did that all the time yeah no i like my father you know and that generation they could i mean my dad they could put it away my dad like i thought this was normal my dad would get home from work have a vodka and then after dinner he'd have a scotch like i thought that was normal yeah but that generation was like bloom yeah they died i mean my first job in advertising i was sent every friday to a liquor store to buy bottles of booze for different vps oh yeah well if you work in an office in a high stress job alcohol is almost like mandatory for those people just to like unwind throw a couple ice cubes and i think jesus [ __ ] christ what are we doing yeah whoa at the end of the day these guys just want to do something to take the [ __ ] edge off because people put in their time they put in their time i mean if you're a person who's in one of them high stress jobs where you're working 12 hours a day every [ __ ] day and then you bring a lot of it home with you yeah i mean my god what a lot of people do i mean think about how easy our [ __ ] job is oh my gosh in comparison to like a real job an hour oh my jesus yeah with jesus i mean i you know i i spent uh like five days because of course all shows got reshuffled so my october november and december were really intense with tour dates and so i was in seattle and i would do my shows and go back to my hotel room and just write and uh i mean it was i just can't articulate how much i loved it that's awesome it was just like performing and writing is just so incredibly rewarding i know your point is like compared to people that are like mixing cement i mean it's like so easy but it's also the level of stress and the amount of time like yeah like we don't have to be around people that much it's only like a couple hours a night it's just like all right i mean we do
eat a lot of [ __ ] on the way up yeah yeah i mean but that that is definitely an issue i mean it weeds out people that aren't absolutely determined to make it because it's so difficult yeah it doesn't make sense like i remember at one point my brother-in-law was like he was i was doing spots in the city he was like what do you get paid for these spots and this was true at the time i was like eight dollars and he goes you get eight dollars to work and i'm like yeah and he's like and i'm like but it's 15 minutes and he's like wait a minute you get eight dolla like that was then there they uh now people get compensated more for a spot in the city but it was eight dollars yeah and that's how it was at the store too and you didn't care you didn't care well the goal the ultimate goal was to get road work like to really get a gig like to be headlining at the weekend at an improv like oh my god i'm really that's my name on the marquee holy [ __ ] people are coming out to see me and that is almost it feels unattainable to people that are just starting out the idea that one day someone's gonna come see you yeah i mean it was like i remember geraldo was like he wanted to tour and i was like i just want to be a writer on letterman that's all i wanted and so like the notion of touring i mean look we live in a day and age where people are putting out multiple specials i remember dennis leary did his uh no cure for cancer there was no expectation that he would need to do another one right well kennison he had that one hbo special that was his really good one and yeah he had the ronnie dangerfield spot that he did and then you know he had a couple afterwards but they're kind of [ __ ] he was doing coke and partying it really wasn't the same yeah that one special that one special time kenneth if you want to see what sam kinnison was like when he was really good it's that one hbo special and there was with the exception of carlin no one was doing the hourly thing he was the unusual exception he was so unusual because he
was doing a new one every year i always think it's so funny how carlin is so revered but uh obviously all comedians uh respect him but like during when he was around i don't think he got enough respect you know i mean he he was probably appreciated for the you know words you can't say on television but like he was pumping out some really serious stuff yeah and i think the audience didn't really like some of the [ __ ] he was saying do you i mean like yeah all these rich people in the audience he's like we should turn all the golf courses and give them to homeless people people were like wait a minute we paid to get in here i mean yeah well he definitely had a lot of counter culture in him you know a lot of rabble rouser and you know like he has some great bits to this day that about diseases that people keep reposting you know yeah oh it's just it's there's not a week on twitter where he doesn't have some uh you know clip that really kind of captures the moment well how many specials did he have let's just guess 15 i think he had 20. 20. i think he did one for every year at the peak of hbo when hbo to get a special on hbo he was uh it was a standard because and i remember i saw in an interview maybe this is uh that you know he tried the sitcom thing and they it didn't work so he stuck with stan i don't know what the there's there's carlin experts that were probably could explain it a lot well he he had some really good interviews and god i wish he was alive while i was doing the podcast where i could have interviewed him and talked to him maybe he was in the beginning what year did he die um everything's a blur now everything was six years ago or four years ago i'll say he died like 11 2011 2008 2008 wow so it
was actually before the podcast so but if i had the opportunity to talk to him i would have definitely talked to him about his creative process but there's some pretty good interviews where he talked about that oh yeah no i remember i'm trying to just turn off my phone because i'm an idiot and i didn't turn it off before look at all these specials yeah that's unbelievable so he went he had some gaps right like look at that 63 and then 67 and then 72 and then another one at 72. god he had 2 and 72 and they won in 73 174 75 77 81 84. so what is the total number this so for this discography from maine i guess whatever main means is uh 20 including that 2016 one so the 2016 one i kind of like it when a lot of people die was supposed to be out on 2001 around september 11th but it was literally scheduled to come out right after september 11th and the name of it i kind of like it when a lot of people die that's [ __ ] obviously a bit of an issue yeah but so many hbf specialists i don't know separate from that oh i always thought it was every year that's so interesting i thought it was every year i felt like it was too first 12 specials huh so those are hbo specials and what are the other ones are those albums that see i guess it'd be audio albums maybe because there's also television and film appearances in there scroll down scroll down where you just head up tell where it said tell scroll down so like what is that television oh okay though so these are different okay and scroll down a little further so these are all spots on television shows and then scroll down a little further and these are the hbo specials and then written works and audio books wow a lot a lot yeah i know that he went through a period he dealt with um i mean you probably have interviewed kelly carlin probably i haven't i've spoken there on twitter i i don't i don't know her at all but like i know that he struggled with some addiction
yeah and stuff like that but he had a pill issue for a while really yeah i remember i was i was probably 93 i just started stand up and he went on at the original improv on 44th street and i remember he had a tape player and he had a piece of paper where he you know like a cassette recorder and he had these notes and he had punch lines underlined i mean granted this is 30 years ago so maybe i'm remembering some of it wrong but i remember thinking god that is just the detailing was so impressive that and you can see it in his writing yeah i mean the the the wordsmith uh is just so extensive yeah he would write out his entire special word for word yeah and then he would just kind of tighten it up yeah that was how he did it and he would write sober and then he would punch up on marijuana he would smoke pot and punch it up wow yeah that was his move brilliant i saw him bomb okay in front of my roommates in new hampshire in 1988 1989 yeah i think he went through uh rough patch a couple of times in his career i think with new material you know it's like american stand-ups versus like british stand-ups there is you know there's such a necessity to kill in america right like you can't be bad for a moment that's why i was so impressed when i saw chris rock once at the comedy store just fearlessly like what else what else and he didn't get laughs for like 10 minutes and he's like okay then he got off stage completely unfazed like i would be like [Laughter] get me heroin something and uh but the whole thing of uh carlin uh just the volume was insane and also you have to you have to you have to risk bombing yeah he didn't work out either like he didn't go to comedy clubs and and practice that was actually part of one of his routine he had this routine called uh and [ __ ] this and it was like everything
was [ __ ] this and [ __ ] that and [ __ ] comedy clubs he like he literally said [ __ ] comedy clubs like i'm i don't have to work out in comedy clubs he would just go and when i saw him in new hampshire he went on stage with a legal pad a yellow legal pad and he had all his stuff written out and he put it down and my roommate was like why is he reading his jokes i was like they're new jokes yeah [ __ ] and i think there is it's weird because do you ever have like younger kids at your shows no no you don't have like a 15 year old boy no that's not legal okay what do you mean it actually might be legal here in texas a lot of [ __ ] is wiggle i just found out in texas you can bring a child to a bar and as long as the dad is with the child or the mom's with the child the child can have their first drink really yeah at a bar like a kid yeah i mean in ireland there's kids in all the bars and stuff yeah and also when we were kids it was like oh yeah it was like not that big of a deal oh no i i went to my father's bar when i was like five years old yeah yeah and so uh i can't remember what's in this that you gave me whiskey scotch it's like it's good what we do is we just we have these bottles of scotch and what we do is we just lace them with heroin and then comedians come in and we'll just give them just like a sip of it and they'll just freak out how long did you take off during this pandemic before you like with no stand-up at all i did some drive-in shows those are wild i mean i did do them with bert no i you know it's like it was it's it was kind of like dry humping you know i mean it's just and i'm not it's like that's a throwback from when we were teenagers right it's a good way to put it though but uh it was yeah i did a couple of them and i was grateful for them and i'm sure the audience hopefully had a good time but it wasn't stand up it's a little something to like remind people what it used to be like to go out and to see a show but you're in your car you have to worry about catching anything and so but to answer your question i went a good
year and a half wow a year and a half yeah i mean i was supposed to do chapelle one of chappelle's weekends everyone got covered so i couldn't do that and then i was in vancouver for four months working on a movie so i went a year and a half and i was doing these cbs sunday commentaries for the first 22 weeks and but i i didn't really write stand up so like i because my thought was no one's going to want to hear about this pandemic so i'm not gonna write about the pandemic outside of these sun cbs sunday commentary so then when i started writing it's like you you know we don't have control of what comes out i had some of this pandemic stuff that ended up in comedy monster but i didn't have an expectation of doing material on the pandemic did you no i mean i think i never have expectation about doing material on anything it's just like if there's a bit i enjoy doing that seems to be working it makes sense then i just start doing it but if i had no material on the pandemic i'd be happy with that yeah but my god i [ __ ] talked about it so much i mean of course i'm so exhausted talking about covet yeah no it's i i miscalculated i thought that it was gonna be similar to politics where we consume all this politics all the time that when people get into a comedy room or a theater they're not going to want to hear about it but i think that the pandemic has been so truly traumatic not just the pandemic the whole experience yeah that we're going to be digesting this for quite some time oh yeah and there's going to be a lot of anger there's going to be a lot of anger at a lot of the businesses that went under there's going to be a lot of anger at the politicians how they handled it and medical professionals and whether or not early treatment options were pursued correctly there's going to be a lot of anger and it's but there's also a lot of opportunity for humor and yeah there people love that escape they love the ability like if you crack a good one about kova they have this
ability to let off some steam well i also think there's a lot of you know particularly through the pandemic and it's just generally kind of my approach i think is that humans are pretty dumb like we're generally not only are we dumb we think we're smart yeah that's that's the worst part that's the saddest thing ever when a really dumb person thinks they're brilliant right it's not the saddest thing it's exactly when a child dies right yeah i mean it's it's like everyone you know everyone kind of looks at their parents like those idiots right and our kids are like those idiots it's just oh yeah this generation after generation you know like when they were putting leeches on people the medical community was like we did it we figured it out we put these bloodsuckers on people and we got it anyway let's have some drinks well they would bleed you out too they would not just use leeches they would cut you and and leak your blood into a bucket to try to remove toxins from your system it's so weird like the shock therapy stuff how like that disappears in our lifetime where they're like can you believe they did shock therapies and now you'll read an article they're like you know these things shock therapy might work it might humans are so stupid well it's it might not work on everybody but it might work on some people do you remember there was um when ed muskie no who was it william montgomery william mcgovern when william mcgovern was uh running for president his vice president uh it turned out in the middle of the race against nixon he had undergone shock therapy yeah and like everybody's like oh jesus they decided that he was a kook and so his vice president pick [ __ ] him and he really had because hunter s thompson was on his side he was writing about him and he had kind of gathered up some momentum and it looked like he had a real shot to beat nixon and then once his presidential vice presidential candidate guy turned you know turned out to be a kook
it's all it's the timing of everything yep right it's timing of everything yeah timing is is the big issue well especially when there's something that's why it's so crazy about presidential candidates you know we're talking about elections overseas about in other countries they do it a very quick election there's not as much money in it it's only a six-week thing where everything's wrong we we our elections essentially run for two years it's like from 2022 on there'll be a two-year process of people posturing and moving their pieces into play and saying they're not running yeah but hey i can't say officially i can't say officially but yeah if i was going to run i would attack this administration on this terrible treatment of blah blah blah and this and that and the border crisis what have they done to the infrastructure oh yeah and no one fixes [ __ ] that's what's crazy think about all the things biden promised before he got into office and there's people that are actually shocked that he didn't do everything he said he was gonna do people like i can't believe this and i voted for him how many [ __ ] times does lucy have to pull the ball from charlie brown before charlie brown realizes but i would still take i would take biden's corpse over trump well it's not really biden right it's the cabinet it's the people that are running the the the whole administration that's what's going on now it's not biden it's all the other folks that are moving things into place but like i mean i i still look at like you know along the same lines of what you just said so like betsy devos yeah um stephen miller you take all those people over uh you know even mike pence you take you take him over say what you want about camilla or kamala or whatever you you know it's like any of those people and i know i'll probably get murdered by some trumpy but like it's like i don't think she's the best example i
think kamal harris has a storied history of incarcerating people and uh keeping people in jail past the time they were supposed to be released to use them as cheap labor for the state of california believed in like you could uh do therapy to get rid of gay wait a minute you don't what but what did we do earlier all that that hugging and everything i thought that's what that was about that was we hugged out my love for you that is a crazy thing thinking you could pray it's so weird to feel your butt implants like why would you get butt implants i didn't like my flat butt you know i but that was cultural appropriation no no no no no no no no there's some people from my culture that have that it's just something how long do you think we got what do you think where are eight years yeah you think we're gonna worry we have about ten years and i think the decline between what happens now i'm too old to learn chinese i can't i'm not going to learn my kids my sons are learning thankfully there's apps yeah yeah like they have a thing with google um they have these uh things i think it's is it with the galaxy buds one of one of the android phones has the ability to translate in real time with sound so like say if you said something in chinese the phone would say it back to me in my ear in english but that's where isn't that the basis of why so many wars have started is miscommunication oh well also being led by people that pretend they have your best interests at heart look in the real world if there was no government why would anybody fight with the chinese or the serbians or the russians like we wouldn't we'd have no problem with them they're over there we're over here huh it's fine the problem is when enormous groups of people are led by a small tight-knit group of individuals who are influenced almost entirely by money and so you think it's all money a hundred percent you think money
is this do you think that the entertainment industry is about money yes i disagree what's it about love joy no it's about ego i think i think whenever people like oh the entertainment industry is uh about money i'm like really cause you know mel gibson did passion on the christ they you could do like five of those and make a lot of money it's not about that and i think that politicians is uh here by the way i'm destroying my career on this episode but it's about status it's about everyone wants to be in the restaurant and be uh greeted with uh warmth whether it's a restaurant or country club it's like that's true and every now and then someone does something like mitch mcconnell you know he's going to go out to dinner in kentucky and he's going to be harassed by a trump supporter right and he's like well he gets harassed by democrats yeah no well he gets but the thing is is like all these people want to be respected at their country club they don't care about the money is not the issue you don't think that the money is the primary motivating factor for them making movies i don't think so i think it's why you know it's like they want awards they want accolades they want respect of their by the way comedian to comedian i don't even have to ask you this comedians care about the uh respect of their peers that's a big factor and that is way more important than money yeah that oh that's way more important than a credit well here's the thing like there are some people that do really well and they don't have the respect of their peers and they always seem to be living in hell yeah or they're chasing it yeah they don't have friends like when it there's a few people i know that are comics that are fairly successful have zero comic
friends and that they are the most miserable weird [ __ ] bitter stingy people they're just [ __ ] because they they're out they're on the outside i call them islands i always refer to him like with other comics like there's certain comics that are like an island like they're not in a community like most of us are aware well i think there's something about um the the ambition it's like if ambition takes over if you care about ambition more than community that's a problem it's a problem it's a big problem well it's like there's not many of us jim i mean how many comics are there really legitimately on earth is there even a thousand are there even a thousand working professional comedians that make a living and can headline clubs and theaters i i don't even think it's a thousand i think it's really strange and this is along the same lines how people um and and the public perception is so off on this is that what people don't realize is that comedians with completely different views on a lot of different things stylistically dramatically different um in the green room they're you know they're they're all getting along yeah like there is obviously some people that don't get along and there's people that go astray and uh you know they can get become outcasts because they steal material or whatever but i think this notion that comedians wish ill upon each other is so false it's very false especially good ones it's so weird because the reality is is that comedians are these weird kind of misfits in a way that when another comedian does something even if they don't like it they they're like on the same stage it's weird yeah whereas i think in other aspects of the entertainment industry it isn't the case like i i presented i don't want to brag but i presented at the country music awards no and what was so interesting is i
don't i know i know very little about country music but the sense of community there was sincere like it was an award show and they opened the show with these 10 stars you know from brandy carlisle to dolly parton to like you know uh that's probably all the country music but they all there wasn't the hierarchy and what people don't realize i think with comedians is that yeah there there's some hierarchy but that disappears pretty quick it disappears with when someone kills yeah if someone's a killer like like they immediately get brought into the fold yeah if you see someone and they do a 20-minute set they [ __ ] murder you like god you want to grab them dude that was [ __ ] awesome yeah we're happy because we're happy that someone else made it through there's yeah again we're talking about how many people there are they're working professional comedians how many headliners are there in the united states of america real headliners is there 500 i don't even think there's 500 but i even think like some of it is not necessarily even the headliners it's like oh yeah there's different kind of um there's different tools that people have that's why it's so weird and i love acting but like when i work on a movie and you get a call sheet and there's like these and some of it is for organizational purposes but you literally see this hierarchy played out and you're like oh wow that's strange and and uh whenever i work on a movie my manager is like don't expect actors to be comedians because you work with a comedian for three days and your the status is evened out right i mean it doesn't matter if someone's headlining or someone's middling and that's not the case in the you know that's why i think people want awards is because so when you go into
this hierarchy you're like no i can come in i got this nomination i had a conversation with this a friend of mine was dating an actress and uh she was talking to me about uh news radio the sitcom i was on yeah and she asked me what number i was billed on in the credits so what that means to everybody else at home there's eight people on the cast and she wanted to know what when they said my name like when the opening credit she was an actor right oh yeah 100 and i was like wow that's fascinating like that's a interesting she goes oh just you know my my agent says it's very important to get high billing like where where they list you like news radio with davey foley yeah andy dick like all that like wendy when did they say your name wow but i almost i almost feel for her because she didn't know that no she was kind of program well she was young and she was trying to make it in the business i mean she wasn't malicious she was just this was a concern like one day she wanted to be on a sitcom or a show and she wanted to have a good billing yeah yeah so she just wanted to ask me what it was like yeah so weird it's so weird yeah it's so weird i know when you know that comedians get along when we meet each other in the airport when you meet someone in the airport you're like ah yeah yeah yeah where are you working where you've been yeah yeah that's the number one time yeah there are certain things that uh yeah there's you know authenticity is a really important attribute huge it's it's really so when the the concept i mean we're talking about carlin who essentially reinvented himself you know what i mean but like you're you know comedians are on this journey to find their more authentic selves yeah and it is it's all you know stand-up comedy is all self-assignment you know it's like
comedy monster is my ninth special and but no one's saying hey can you do another special it's like you decide when you it's all selfish it's similar um you know it's similar to what you've created no one said hey like people like to think oh there's someone back there saying hey joe here's what we're going to do we're going to move to austin you're going to open a comedy club you're going to do this there's no one doing that it's you yeah it's it's you not only that there's a lot of people telling me don't do that yeah this all the people that like when i get this big spotify deal then i'm like i'm gonna move to texas they're like no what are you doing don't [ __ ] this up like you have something great going on in los angeles i'm like it's gonna be fine we gotta go i gotta get out of here i'm like i'm gonna live my life like th this is something i do during my life but i'm gonna live my life and my life my instincts are i gotta get the [ __ ] out of dodge i'm like this city isn't it's not the same city anymore it's like it's got a mask on it's the got the old la mask and behind it is danger and corrupt government and a lack of accountability about the economy collapsing like see ya i'm getting the [ __ ] out of here so they were not happy with that like there was a lot of people that were very nervous the people that you know profit off of the show but i was like i'm going i'm gonna do what i do and this is what my my instincts are always just to do what i do what do i want to do i want to get out of here so i'm going to get out of here i mean i would never stay just because like somebody else thought it would be a better idea i'm like yeah i think it'll be fine yeah yeah it's really interesting that um no one even when you're told you're funny to do stand-up you have to you not only do you have to get up there yourself but you also now it just sounds like i'm patting myself no that's true it's like you have to also when the crowd more or less says i hate you you have to still do it yeah you have to
[ __ ] well they hated me but one day i see it it's a meh it's a form of mental illness oh 100 if you don't have mental illness there's no way you're going to make it because you're going to have to get past the bombing the bombing should be enough pain to anybody out of the business i always say that bombing is like sucking a thousand dicks in front of your mother but i think that's not true because there's got to be a guy out there who would like to suck a thousand dicks in front of his mom he's got to be a guy out there be like see this mom 999 this one's for you you [ __ ] raised me wrong but but no one wants a bomb no one no one wants to say jokes because they hope get a laugh and then they fall flat and by the way the term bomb is a gentle description of public humiliation yes it is full wholesale it is uh you know it occurs where there are people that look at you with a level of disgust by the way i was on a plane next to um chris christie and i uh and it was interesting because i was thinking about him and people were getting on the plane and um people were very polite but i was like this guy so many politicians you know and he's a fighter but so many of these politicians maybe they almost crave kind of like saying something that the audience doesn't like do you know what i'm saying so you know like the shock yeah so comedy some of it is surprise and shock but like i was sitting next to him and i'm like he's a fighter most of these politicians do they get off on the groan that the comedian sometimes gets you know like when you say something and the audience is like oh but you did it for yourself yes you know what i'm saying and i obviously do it to a much lesser dis uh extent than you filthy comics but does does he do politicians get off on that
because i think it's probably a contrarian thing it's probably a human nature thing like people like saying things that other people don't want to hear especially if they can be proven right wow yeah with that guy single-handedly made me not scared of coed when he survived oh yeah i'm like he survived i'm [ __ ] fine i'm like dude but he also screws right through this he also got all the good stuff right everybody should get all the good stuff jim that's what's going on that's why you're running for governor okay florida yeah well desantis is doing a great job i'm gonna run for like arkansas something or no one else votes some somewhere easy but then you then you're moving to arkansas that's what bill clinton did well but he was from there barely barely was he yeah he was raised in hope arkansas really yes that's a place yes who knows or whatever the huckabee's also from there huckabee no huckabee you think huckabee i think he no i think he wanted to be in the entertainment network oh yeah what do you think i was gonna say you should be president he was on like fox or something didn't he have a show for a while yeah he had a show on fox did they cancel it well he was a preacher also uh well that's show business right that's kinnison you know and so and uh bill hicks also right you know i don't think he was a preacher no but like i think that there was uh you know he was raised in uh some of that christian stuff wasn't yeah he was definitely raised i say that like i'm not christian well you're a catholic right i'm a catholic which is you know hardcore that's carter that's part of the christian faith oh yeah well were you raised catholic you were raised catholic and now you're going to hell no no no i'm going to the dimension of elves so are you agnostic um yeah you know i would say that but it's it all comes with too much baggage i don't like the term atheist i it's
like to me being an atheist is uh i know it means without a god you don't believe in you know you're not a theist right but i think it's uh it's very arrogant to pretend we have any idea what happens when we die yeah do i believe that there was a man who walked on water and died and came back to life and no but i i think anti-semitism most of what most of what that is if you understand human language and you understand history is you know you're dealing with stories that were thousands of years old before they were ever written down and they're in a lot of different cultures yes yes well epic of gilgamesh is like the oldest version of the bible in terms of like the stories of noah's ark it's kind of it's got roots in there there's a lot of there's a lot of like parallels it makes you think and i'm a firm believer that a lot of what that is is documenting cataclysmic disasters that happen to the human race and those have been substantiated by archaeologists and by people that are geologists that study core samples and there's been some epic moments where most people were wiped out and they survived and a lot of these stories i think are the basis of a lot of the roots of these stories that are in the bible in the torah and a lot of ancient religions but as the idea of like is there a god it very there very well could be something very well and i'm i'm not you should have him as a guest on your show i would love to right um why do we assume it's a he yeah i don't think it has a gender right right it's probably something it's probably something that is the energy that creates the entire universe itself there's probably a thing whatever that thing is and i think to try to label it and try to box it in with our pathetic language is pretty slightly our understanding yeah it's it's very interesting because obviously um i'm not in a 12-step program but that is a faith-based thing and and i do
think that um the notion for me personally that there is something uh that is i'm not in control is really important so that and that possibly there is a notion of something that can forgive me or that i should not uh be caught up in this twist of self-hatred is really important to me and so that is how you balance your ego and you feel like that helps yeah i mean it's i mean that all being said is that all these things i'm saying i i will forget in a day and do i mean it's like i i in the end i'm a dumb guy i mean we're all dumb guys right but um yeah i mean and i think that that's why it's so impressive what you've built and you have not self-destructed there's no indication of self-destruction there's uh i mean it's not it's it's you're not the first person i mean the rock is built in an incredible thing i want to see you fight the rock i'm not fighting that guy i want you to fight him he's like 100 pounds can you kiss him i'll kiss him i do think it's fascinating because uh among comedians there is this self-destructive tendency yeah yeah well um it's not it's not mandatory you know it's not something that's unavoidable you can avoid it it's you know the idea that it's uh self-destruction is inherited it it's in um it's inherent to whether it's rock and roll or art or comedy or even actors yeah i just think it's just it's so hard to not be it's very i mean with rock stars my god i mean how many rock stars are self-destructed they're on that stage jamming out and everybody's screaming they love them and then silence and then they're alone and then they want to be surrounded by people that keep feeding and then they go to a bar and they meet lady gaga and then oh that movie i didn't see it first
yeah it's uh it's a crazy world it's it's and it's also one of the things about being uh a comic or any entertainer that becomes very successful is there's not much of a blueprint for you to follow no and the blueprint changes so when people ask for advice you're like you know what worked six months ago is not going to work so even your relocation to austin to this address which i'm going to announce no is that doesn't apply to now no you know the uh you know like i remember in standup starting you know like what i did like when i did open mics there were no there was no audience there weren't even bringer shows really it was like you were performing in front of other mentally ill people it was like there would be a few audience members like you know maybe an alcoholic who was drinking at 5 00 pm but uh and you know like the boston scene that you started in doesn't exist like that it doesn't exist like that but i've heard it's made a comeback i've heard there's a good well it's a new iteration of it but um i mean it doesn't exist like that boston uh you know that was legendary yeah right it was very very unique it was very unique in that there were so many world-class comics that all lived in one place would headline in these areas like every week yeah and they make tons of money and do it all in coke yeah that's the only place i've ever been offered to be paid in coke wow they would they would go you want cash or coke or a little bit of both i'd like you just give me the money man wow wow yeah that was nick's comedy stop there's some places that were i mean allegedly i don't know for sure i can't i could never say this in court fully run by the mob and you know they they had these wild ties to organize crime and they were running comedy clubs and i'm sure they were moving money around and stuff it's crazy but it was awesome the people that were there the comedians they were so talented they were so good and they never changed their material
ever right they didn't need to no they they didn't do any specials none of those guys did specials and all those guys had an hour that would [ __ ] shake the foundation of the building like don gavin steve sweeney and kevin knox and you know there were so many of those guys mike donovan they were monsters there were monsters kenny rogerson yeah i remember watching them going how does a world not know about these [ __ ] people like they were they were as good if not better than anybody that was on evening at the improv or hbo and they never left they stayed in this one town and there was so many clubs they could work at that they had no desire to leave and they would leave they would go to other places and the other places people wouldn't know them and they wouldn't get the same reaction so they'd come back to boston again yeah but isn't that it's true it's it is a trap right trap yeah it's a trap yeah they they could have been world class everywhere and they chose to not do that and to stay within the confines of the comfort of their their playground which is almost the uh the upside down version of you being able to go to austin right right so you going to austin you're like i can go where i want and i'm going to go here and the the them not leaving boston you know it's similar you know like look i grew up in a small town and there were people that when i moved to new york were kind of like oh how'd you get that and i'm like you can you can move there too there's they stopped asking for a passport and you still have a ticket somewhere there is something you know there's the comfort they all enjoyed they were also you know partying their ass off but you have to i guess you got to make yourself uncomfortable don't you oh it's the most important thing it's the most important thing if you strive for comfort you're [ __ ] you you can't do that there's i mean it's not
bad to be comfortable occasionally how do you carry on the lessons that you've acquired how do you give those to your children that's hard that's really hard does it mean nature or nurture it's both it's both for sure i mean i have uh one kid my middle kid who is a [ __ ] straight up psycho i don't have to tell her anything she is just so driven and so smart and disciplined and then i have my youngest who is really artistic and was less motivated but now she does a lot of sports and she's more motivated and then i have my oldest who is probably like one of the nicest people i've ever met in my life and i'm like you are so nice and the fact that you grew up with me and you've you've become this incredibly kind and sweet person so it's like you don't you you can't pick how your kids are gonna turn out you can do your very best to influence them and to give them lessons and to teach them things but my children grew up wealthy yeah there's no way they're not going to be wealthy they've never had to worry about whether or not we're going to have food i remember when i was a kid and we were on welfare wondering if we were going to have food and when you're seven years old and that's in your head that [ __ ] with you yeah and it gives you this feeling of it's not just a lack of security it's um it lights a fire into your ass to go out and do things because you realize like you have to like how people used to be in the [ __ ] pioneer days they had to go get food there was no stores they had to go get it they had to go get the food they had to either grow food there was no air conditioning there was no air conditioning imagine that that's imagine being here ugh no ac in the summer i mean at least we have a river jump in the river right yeah yeah it's rough not only that they didn't have any mosquito repellent they didn't
have [ __ ] they probably had like natural things what yeah what was new orleans like oh that's probably why everybody's drunk yeah i think you have to get drunk right the [ __ ] diseases i mean there was a malaria outbreak in america do you know that yeah we've had malaria outbreaks in america and it's from standing water and they realized that these mosquitoes breed in standing water so they they eradicated the standing water and they did a bunch of different things to try to mitigate the mosquito population but yeah all right here let's do a you're going to do your prediction of what's going to happen in the next 10 years and then i'll do my prediction unless you want me to go first okay um with the collapse of the narrative that people are going to be saved from covet by vaccines they're going to try to push them even further and there's going to be a bunch of people buy into it because they're going to be afraid that if they don't buy into it that they're going to be ostracized from the good group of people and that only the bad group of people don't believe that this is the only way to go the possible medical treatments for kovid the ones the the early treatments that are important that are being developed and some of them that exist will be adopted by some and there'll be a divide between people that think you should have early treatment or people who think you should have like your fourth booster which is what they're doing to israel along the way what i'm worried about most is that they do import some sort of a vaccine passport which will evolve into a social credit system social media china has exactly that that's what's terrifying about mandates that's as terrifying about the direction this country's going in because they said we would never mandate vaccinations they said that very early on we would never do that now they're saying we're mandating vaccines now in california you have to mandate a vaccine
for children for them to go to school which is [ __ ] sketchy but there's other vaccines that kids take but it's not a vaccine because you have to take it all the time you have to take it every year every couple times uh a year three times a year whatever it's going to be right it's a it's essentially a gene therapy it's not like a small box vaccine or a measles rumor that went with the different variants as we go through the the greek alphabet that when we finish the greek alphabet the world dies is that true it might be um but this is my fear my fear is that the government which is an entity look if you look at humans right when human beings have power over other human beings whether they're a boss at an office that's unchecked that wants to [ __ ] all the secretaries and steal all the money or whether it's a a president or whether it's a congress person who gets to use insider trading tactics and accumulate hundreds of millions of dollars should be gone it should be gone but all that stuff is in play why because they've accumulated unchecked power and they will continue to exert this unchecked power as often and as possible as often as as widely as possible and my fear is that one of the tools that will allow them to do that is to institute some sort of a social credit system and people will go along with it because they think that they're doing the right thing that they're good people and that good people want people to be vaccinated and the best way to do that is to have an app and the best way to ensure that people do the best to protect those around them is to sign up for this social credit system and they're already buttering people up to it there was an article on yahoo about how you're going to be able to have access to more credit if you agree to this social system if you agree to uh allowing them the the the premise initially was allowing them to look at your browser history if you allow access to your browser history i'll show you the article finally yeah yeah it's adorable you allow access to your browser you can get more credit jim maybe you want that nice house maybe there's a house you like and
then there's a house you can afford maybe you can afford the house you like just so interesting it's kind of like free wi-fi if you give us your birthday exactly so it's letting you slowly get integrated into the system and the benefits that you get from it will allow you to take this chance and then they're going to have their hooks in and this is the thing that most social psychologists that are studying this [ __ ] are terrified of credit scores may soon be based on your web history is that a good thing it's a good thing experts predict in the not too distant future your internet habits could affect your credit score and help lenders determine what they offer you we will let you in on what we know so far about how your online activity could be used to determine how much credit you can get and what interest rate this is the beginning of this [ __ ] once they develop a social credit system and say jim you've been paying your taxes late you're not going to be able to go to the movies on friday like that kind of [ __ ] it's like china you can't get on that train exactly that kind of [ __ ] is how they divide society and that is 100 on the table for the united states of america if we don't watch if we don't pay attention and if we allow these politicians to have this unchecked use of power it it absolutely could be our future and it will be dystopian at best if that's what happens if they have that kind of unchecked power you think that is is this uh is this uh more likely to occur among the democrats or the republicans or in either i think it's probably either i think we our idea of what people are capable of is uh based entirely on the allegiance we have to our tribe and whether or not we you know think we're the good guys are the bad guys i think if you look at the way the far left behaves with antifa lighting [ __ ] buildings on fire and throwing rocks at cops and all that crazy [ __ ] they're doing just as crazy their behavior is just as crazy as people that are on the far right do you feel like you uh you don't feel like the um
i mean i it's just like so you think that antifa is as big enough of a problem as the uh the insurrectionists and stuff like that it completely depends on where you live it depl it completely depends on how much power they have i think if the insurrectionists got to a point where they were supported like those morons that uh went to the capitol on january 6th right they got to the point where they were they were protected and supported by politicians and they were they were described as patriots yes and and not only that if they were um exonerated of uh all their vandalism the all the things that antique has done exonerated of their vandalism said that their protests were mostly peaceful if they used that kind of rhetoric and they built them up i think they're all equally dangerous i think it's a human nature issue more than it is an ideological issue i don't think there's a good ideology and a bad ideology when it comes to the opposition of power i think there are there are tactics and strategies that people will use and they will use them if they think they're doing it for social justice if they have [ __ ] blue hair and a molotov cocktail or if they think they're doing it because they're patriotic because they have an american flag bandana and a [ __ ] molotov cocktail i think they're the same people i think the same people and if you got that guy with the [ __ ] buffalo helmet on who sat in nancy pelosi's chair yeah if you got that [ __ ] and you moved into portland and he grew up there and he thought that he was gonna you know uh take down the capitol building and throw a [ __ ] hand grenade at ted wheeler who's the mayor of portland he would have done that he would he would have done that instead of attack the capital instead of being this q and on dummy he would have been an antifa dummy i don't think they're any different i think they adopt this ideology they fit in they get meaning in that they find themselves their religion exactly exactly it's very tribal and it's it's very much in line with human behavior characteristics that have existed from the beginning of time
and we know that these people are receiving tons of uh you know information on through social media and stuff like that that is like all these a lot of these i mean a lot of these trump supporters they're sincere like these people that are you see into the storm yeah the q on documentary on hbo yeah wild wild [ __ ] that's why i'm surprised that your prediction and and i you know when you talk about like the social credit score but like i look at it this way um and some of it is i'm a comedian all right so i am not but um so two years uh you know here we are in 22 um it's going to be a the democrats are going to lose the house they're going to lose the senate they're going to lose a lot of uh they're going to impeach biden on you know some kind of benghazi kind of thing um and it's this powder keg that's getting worse and worse and um and then um you know the voting rights people are gonna be i would think people would be like kind of pissed in these you know uh these communities where there's you know african-americans have one place to vote and it's 20 miles away when i know that i can walk in and i don't even have to set aside a half an hour i think people are going to be kind of pissed i think there's going to be more violence i think it's probably not going to be good i think that um uh you know is that a gigantic issue where so many african-americans live in a place where there's no place to vote in person it seems like voting is that like a rural thing are you talking about right i think it's like there's certain communities where the access to voting has been limited in numerous states we know that right well the there's definitely shenanigans on both sides when it comes to voting because from the beginning
like if you said to anybody like do you think there's ever been an election where there's zero voting fraud no never not i mean i'm not talking about kennedy winning uh chicago that is but that's that's the beginning of it that was 1960 right but do you know that the democrats accused do you think stealing the election right yeah on more than one occasion and it's like this is a thing that people have about there's people that think that um essentially the republicans had better lawyers that's how w won that yes there are people who think that and then with john kerry in particular that was another one right um with al gore that was another one but there wasn't there wasn't the storming of the capital when trump won well i think that's entirely a creation of social media and the ability to gather up people and do something really [ __ ] stupid like that and then on top of that but what was it all right agent provocateur did you ever see those guys the guys do a tweet like it's going to be wild oh listen he is 100 a part of why they did that 100 because of his influence and because you said you have to be strong and you have to do that he was compounding upon some other things that were happening but i also think there was without a doubt agent provocateurs from the federal government that encouraged people to go into the federal building in the capitol building there's but you know they have them on why because they want to arrest people they want to catch people doing stuff like that and they also want to be able to so you're talking more so but like you're telling me that and again it's like you know it's so interesting on social media people you can't call them this i'm like look i i'm not saying you can't call them um insurrectionists what are they if you're if you're storming into the capitol building with zip ties these guys had zip zip ties right like what are they huge bundles well what they're saying is that they would describe them as protesters some of them i think were protesters who got caught you know there were some
grandmas and grandpas that were like we like trump what's going on but there was also some people that were probably legit terrorists i think the the guy with the [ __ ] zip ties if that guy found nancy pelosi and zip tied her and carried off and or maybe even executed her i mean that's not outside the realm of possibility with some of these [ __ ] totally i agree with you i think that like the the the thing that i find so amazing is that the fact that and sadly there was five people that died but like the fact that like none of the government officials were were killed is like a fluke very lucky very lucky like if they were in the wrong place the wrong time they didn't anticipate that and they thought that you know they would be held off so they stayed in the capitol building and they weren't rushed off into some [ __ ] underground bunker or wherever they put those people and the wrong people got to them it's it's about the wrong people right it's like i think that a lot of them were dorks i don't think the guy with the buffalo helmet you see when he was walking around the center he's mentally you know he's like he's got a problem yeah and he's not that smart and he's you know they he thought he was like being a patriot i think there's a lot of them like that and why were they but the guy with the zip ties when i saw that i showed that to someone and i was like this [ __ ] has zip ties why do you think he has zip ties that's to restrain someone that's because he thinks he's going to play cop or a good guy or patriot or he's going to be for executioner he's going to zip tie someone's hands yeah you know they were calling for mike pence they were saying you're a [ __ ] traitor and you were gonna come for you i i can't i can't begin to to contemplate the the mindset of mike pence over the past five years i mean it's just well he was a radio guy right well he was also he's i think he's uh uh i think he sincerely loves his wife i think he's
sincere in his christian faith but like i think like the look all politicians are politicians but like the level of decay and by the way this is following up two stand-up comedians talking about the amount of [ __ ] that we've eaten the amount of humiliation that we've consumed but like there is a point where you're like really really you know and by the way mike pence did the right thing in kind of well he did the right thing in that he didn't try to reverse the vote yes because trump there was some sort of weird loophole in that in the law that was being discussed as to whether or not mike pence can change throw out things which is [ __ ] insane it's absolutely imagine if trump had a vice trump yeah well that's what he's going to have well who the [ __ ] and by the way that's that's that's part of my prediction is so then when trump runs against biden they're both impeached oh i don't think biden's going to run a second time i think it's going to be pete buddha judge and it might not even be kamala harris she might bail because she's so unliked she might become a hazard for the the democratic party if you look at her her the voter confidence and the it is weird how it shifts in a matter of three months yeah so i mean biden was pronounced dead numerous times right yeah and so was mccain before him but the democratic party was so firmly behind biden that even though he was pronounced dead like no one's going to vote for him it's like the what they wanted was the democrat party in place they wanted to get trump out and have the democrats in place and restore what they felt like was order and so he was the best representative of that and he's the guy who's going to play ball the most you know but i think um i mean like i've said this before and i'll say it again i think if michelle obama ran she would win i know but
why would she do it yeah why would she right she was already the first lady she did eight years as the first lady she experienced enough [ __ ] chaos and stress they made it out but who knows man they she might feel like she has a duty to the country she might feel like because she could [ __ ] win for sure i really firmly believe she wins well i think we also know that uh the democrats have to build that obama coalition and uh which is motivating african americans so she could definitely do that but it's also we want a female president right like and to have a female president that is the wife of the greatest president of our lifetime brilliant lady charming so easy to like and and she would you know she's getting treated yes you trust her judgment well it's what we need like as a president what we what we have always needed was someone who represents the very best of us and we i think we got that with obama you could say we got there with clinton before he got his dick sucked but you know you could you know before it got in trouble with certain things but we want someone who seems better than us we want someone who's like aspirational yes we want someone who is when they represent the united states of america they represent as good as what we have to offer that was obama obama was this brilliant lawyer he was so smooth and he was so measured and the way he would talk about things was so statesmanlike that that over i mean not like all of them people are going to have policy issues with all of them people are going to have issues with whether what we do overseas or what happens with the economy there's going to be disputes left and right about everything the president does no president is universally loved but what you can't deny is what obama represented was about as good as america has to offer in terms of intelligence and poise and control of himself and the way he dignified the office he was a great state so interesting because i i totally agree but i think that
that's what you and i think i think that the reason trump came to power is probably because there were a lot of people that didn't feel that way about bud about obama well i don't know that i don't i don't know that i think obama had another op if they said we're going to change the rules you can run for a third term he would win oh he would be he would be trump i think hillary clinton is very unlikable i think that was part of the problem the part of the problem was he was running against and he barely beat hillary right he lost in the popular vote yeah but hillary clinton was just very unlikable like the basket of deplorables like saying something like that you're literally talking about half the country like the the way they would make these errors in communication based on the way they were they felt they were being attacked by the assad instead of trying to reach out and trying to unite everybody she would alienate them and try to solidify her base but me it just makes you look petty and it makes everybody not they think of you as what he's characterizing lion hillary they think of you as this like this part of the machine part of the thing that hillary was a victim of uh her uh exposure for decades because we know that's a good point right yeah we know she's very smart by the way when she moved to new york and i lived in new york uh uh and she ran for center i was like no way it's not going to happen and she won over new yorkers and i'm not talking about just the city she won over upstate new york yeah and so like i do think that she had been around for a couple decades and we're tired of her and she was bill's wife and then there was also talk that she had intimidated women who had come forth with accusations about bill so it's like yeah for sure i think that if she yeah i don't know i mean there's if she wasn't attached to bill she probably would have won right but she almost won anyway i mean you know it's it's um i think it's amazing that she lost i i
you know i think that it's one of those things where and by the way she lost uh college-educated white women yeah what what they didn't trust her i think there's a lot of people that didn't trust they don't trust someone who they think is a politician and they're more willing to trust someone who is a [ __ ] talk show host a guy who is a uh so why doesn't a rock run oh he would win he would win oh we're that dumb what's that we're that dumb yeah he would win so why don't why uh why doesn't he busy why doesn't mcconaughey run for governor of texas he's i think that's very smart on his part i think he feels like he can do more good just kind of talking to people and you know he is obviously a very intelligent guy and he's got a very interesting perspective and philosophy on life i i enjoy talking to you ever talk to him no he's a very smart guy and he also but like that's him not falling victim to his ego yeah he was like yeah you know what i'm not gonna fall into this trap yes he's smart enough to navigate this good point he's a good guy i really genuinely think that i don't know him well but i from what i know from talking to him i mean i really think he's sincere and i think he's really intelligent and he he has a a very clear philosophy that he follows and like uh like he's very ethical and moral in the way he thinks about things and he and he thinks about doing the right thing and i think you know he thought maybe that would be a good framework to be a governor and then he stopped i guess and he just what am i doing [ __ ] mine i'm gonna make a movie yeah i'm gonna go make uh interstellar three and do you think that like so we are animals we're absolutely clearly and but we're something new you know but like the power of um you know you're talking about mcconaughey uh he's an attractive man right is that to his benefit
like so i the reason i bring michelle obama i think she's attractive um is that the price of entry for some of this like do we give these beautiful people a past because we like to look at him i think hillary um i think hillary's attractive i mean she was i mean she is who did you how much did you have to drink what's unattractive about her [ __ ] hillary clinton you had one drink what's unattractive about hillary clinton uh the body count no like uh you know uh so i don't know kamala harris is attractive probably physically yeah yeah um but when she laughs at everything that's not funny it's like a shitty comic it's laughing at your own jokes i tried to do a joke not about her about how like about how there's nothing more rewarding than a laugh and nothing more uncomfortable than a laugh then a fake laugh yeah yeah it's odd but like attraction being attractive is pretty important right um well it certainly helped jfk i think it helped bill clinton when he was in his prime it helped obama didn't help trump trump's attractive guy i mean i find him very sexy no but like somebody must is i think his success makes him more attractive because he's got this you know bigger than life personality yeah but i think that uh i mean i don't know he's got to be attractive to some people somebody it's it's uh it's more his attitude than anything and you know when the guy gives those speeches and he makes fun of things and he gets big laughs like he's kind of being a comic he's got good oh yeah i know he's there is something uh that i would not deny his entertainment foundation you went on like a liquored up twitter rant yeah i was not liquored up i would like to think you were liquored up i wasn't i wasn't i wasn't i i think that um look i you know i've talked about this uh you know i tried to but i was on the lockdown and um
you know i was just witnessing uh the republican convention look all politicians lie i know that but like there was a certain amount of i felt like it was his lies were working like there's part of me that's like the trump thing it's like even when bill clinton was talking we all knew he was [ __ ] but it's okay you know and w he was like hey doing this you know doing that it's like we we know we know what's going on here but with trump there's just this allegiance that i was and i was sitting with my five kids and uh not sitting next to them but i was like you know what this is not gonna go well and i want them to know where i stand on these things yeah and so uh and some of it is i did treat myself uh because i do believe that you know i don't think that a comedian i had a tweet where i was like if you think that if you're letting an entertainer tell you who to vote for you shouldn't vote and i do believe that but like i think that there's a lot of people particularly during the republican convention there were all these like they brought out a nun to say that biden's not catholic they had lou holtz you know say he's not cap look i'm not a good catholic i'm not presenting i but i'm like come on come on you know what i mean you can sit there and debate some of this stuff about uh what uh catholic politician but like compared to trump right do you i mean that's what was just like look let's just draw this in you know let me just tweet about this and here's what's interesting so i was kind of and i told my manager i'm like you know what i don't regret it and i might have lost all these people and he's like haha you know he he didn't care either really um but then i went touring not real change in numbers no do you really think you lost people
for that i was convinced i lost uh you know these virtual corporate events i i lost a couple things you know and i was like i didn't regret it i mean look i'm my kids are gonna you know be fed but uh this is a bunch of posturing after the fact but once the dust settles you have so many fans like i don't i don't think that's a real concern and i think also people again it's authenticity yeah you know it's like to know that it's really you this is not like engineer there's not a writer in the room with you that's working out these tweets it's like there's not it's just a level of but i will say that i think this is interesting i was on some show i won't specify because i don't want to out this person and um i was making fun of him i'm like i know you're a big q anon supporter and all this stuff you know like you and and we were joking around about it in the and afterwards he goes i have to cut all that out and i go why and he goes because i have 24-hour security and i go what do you mean you have 24 hours he goes my children have security i have security this is someone in the entertainment industry that is dealing with death threats on a daily basis and i'm like what and so like i was like and this is the guy's not making it up and so like i mean you probably have security right you met him yeah but like i think this guy's his family has it and i'm like like he's a former president or something and is it because of his controversial stand on certain things he's a funny person it's not he's not um did he go against trump supporters is that what it is we don't have to say not we're talking about that much i can't wait to this podcast be over not that much i'll tweet it immediately not that much
but it was one of those things where that wouldn't happen by the way i've gotten uh you know definitely got some death threats from that twitter by the way i how it was described as a rant you know what the thing that only bothered me is that i think people when it was characterized as i was criticizing uh trump supporters because i you know like that whole like you talked about deplorables and all that it's like i i do think that like that he is a problem but i don't think that like you know i know people that that like trump it's like and it saddens me but it doesn't mean that i don't think they're a good person does that make sense it does make sense yeah there's i think people like what he stands for is that he stands for someone who stands up against career politicians like the ones we were talking about earlier that are you know using insider trading tactics to enrich themselves while they're in office there's a lot of that and those people are responsible for a lot of the policies that are very detrimental to the average working person and i you know i think some people thought he was a solution to that yeah because the fact that he wasn't a career politician and because of the fact that he talked off the cuff and he said wild [ __ ] that that would sound pissed off people yeah yeah like he doesn't piss me off he concerns me and it's remember that stephen king movie um what was that movie where um there was a guy it was christopher walken he could see the future and he saw god damn it what is it there was a guy who's running for president dead zone thank you the dead zone oh yeah yeah and that that's what everyone's terrified of ego that leads to like nuclear war nuclear catastrophe someone who is in the helm of i mean you're the commander-in-chief of the greatest army the world has ever known and you won a popularity contest to get there it's kind of wild it's insane it's so insane
but like what's the ultimate concern for sure does it concern you that uh that that are you who would you like to be the next president besides michelle obama tulsi gabbard and you'd be fine with desantis i think what he has done to allow people to continue their lives while trying to protect the elderly in florida although controversial and although easily criticized i think it's admirable because it's a difficult path because initially when he decided to do that early on the pandemic people said he was out of his [ __ ] mind and they expected there to be a body count in florida that was off the charts ten times more than anywhere else i mean they're gonna let restaurants open and bars open you could do concerts there we did a ufc there we actually did i believe we did it with no audience in april of 2020 so it was very early on right it didn't turn out that way when you look at it it turns out he was right it turns out the economy didn't collapse in florida the way it collapsed in many other places it turns out when you especially when you adjust it for age the amount of people that died in florida was less than than it was in california age-adjusted when you look at the amount of cases they're comparable to any other high population density area like you have immense populations of people that have coveted in new york a lot of people have popular a lot of people have coveted in california it's a respiratory disease it's going to [ __ ] spread what's important is early treatment what's important is educating people about the value of being healthy taking care of yourself and then you know you know if they're saying they're running out of hospital beds increase the [ __ ] hospital beds like that's what people should have concentrated on make more access to medicine and health and don't fire health care workers because they don't want to get vaccinated when they've already had covet and beaten it and they have the antibodies this is crazy that's why you have to
watch my specialist because like uh first of all it's great no but is that um i i kind of touch on like they didn't you know and comorbidities has many different things but they really didn't want to say all you fat asses are going to die they didn't they couldn't and i talked about it they didn't have you know they didn't want sanjay gupta to be like well anderson all the fat asses are going to die right but because we're kind of in this obviously comorbidities means meanwhile you had coveted you didn't even know it i know amazing right because i'm so strong you know a lot of this fat is muscle [Laughter] i lost all this weight during the lockdown and then i you know gained it back in maybe a half an hour how much weight did you lose the lockdown i lost probably 25 pounds i did you know because i texted with you and you're like cut out bread cut out sugar and i did and it was it hard to do it wasn't that bad it wasn't that bad um now i'm kind of like trying to make up for it i guess no but i uh you know i definitely felt a lot better it's like you cut out sugar and you cut out bread and it's like your knees bend yes it's inflammation yeah that's the thing like one of the things that happens to me when i well if i'll go on a bender yeah i'll eat like a lot of pasta which is my thing that's that's where i gorge oh my god pasta is so cool so good and i'll eat like multiple servings yeah like if it's for three or four people i'll eat that all that oh yeah there's a restaurant in philadelphia i need you to go to oh what is it it's um it's on my instagram it's mark uh vetries he has um furulina it is if you're a pasta guy i'm not kidding it's my kryptonite it is uh it'll change your life i'm sure it'll change your life that's my kryptonite i mean i but then the next day you won't be able
to walk yeah that's the thing my knees hurt the next day when i eat a lot of pasta like my [ __ ] knees will hurt my lower back will hurt and it's inflammation i talked to my doctor about it he goes that is inflammation causing food and that's what that means it's like literally causes inflammation in your joints inflammation in your body and it's the source of a lot of diseases and a lot of the the illnesses that people have it's because of inflammation did previous generations deal with this inflammation too no first of all processed sugar really has not been a thing in the human race until the beginning of the 19th century i think when was it when they started eating sugary candies and stuff oh yeah no i remember that was a big thing with the british they brought sugar back and everyone's teeth fell out yeah um and then the wheat that we have has more complex glutens in it it's been they've manipulated the wheat for higher yield per acre so you're getting this like dense wheat that you're if you're eating glue you're basically eating like remember when you used to make paste in your kid you're like shoveling that in your face i mean it's a delicious amazing paste yeah but that's what you're eating you're eating like a [ __ ] wad of dough and it sits in the bottom of your stomach when it mixes with wine how does tom papa make all that bread and still be kind of thin well here's an interesting thing tom papa's bread is made with a starter and it is a sourdough starter and sourdough bread in general has less gluten than regular bread yeah because that is like the best bread you can have it's organic he makes it himself you know the source he like literally has this old starter i think it's from like the 1930s the the the actual you know yeast starter and i don't exactly understand how he does it he's explaining to me i forgot yeah but the br you've had us brad i haven't had this bro well i live in new york oh my god he should freeze some and send it to you it's [ __ ] sensational really yeah when you come to la you must go and have
his breath i've i have with fantasy with grass-fed grass finish butter which is like a dark yellow yellow looks like urine oh my god you spread that all over that bread and just no it's such good bread papa and i have an exchange yeah i give him a little give him he gives me some bread we're good to go oh that's similar he gives me bread i give him aids [Laughter] jim that's not funny no it's funny though it's funny now okay here it is in 510 bc the emperor darius of persia invaded india where he found that's darius rucker who was and who do you love nice guy by the way the the reed which gives honey without bees the secret of cane sugar was it was uh kept a closely guarded secret whilst the finished product was exported interesting so that's when they first figured out sugar cane yeah and then all the way back then took till 1747 it says until sugar beet was a new source of sugar and like that's when britain okay and then britain blockaded sugar imports to continental europe by 1880 sugar beet had replaced sugar cane as the main source of sugar in continental europe but it still wasn't like corn syrup like where was it prevalent yeah another thing said 1770 in britain is when they started eating like five times the amount of sugar they'd eaten in like the previous 17 ah so that's when it started so is the eight the 18 what about how like um in uh the uh i know you read this that's crazy look at that statistic during the 18th century sugar became enormously popular great britain for example consumed five times as much sugar in 1770 as in 1710. wow that's nuts that's probably yeah when their teeth started falling out and yeah so start getting fat you know i did um this movie uh where i uh for peter pan where i played a pirate and i did all this research on pirates do you know that like the british navy essentially was assembled by it was the success of pirates
that was instrumental because they had this war with the spanish and they were like there were these pirates and they're like hey you can free reign if you attack these spanish and so they essentially it was it was essentially a bunch of criminals wow and they then they and then they absorb some of the pirates they're like all right you can be now you can be uh general the general and you can go back to england and you can have and they gave part of jamaica to another pirate it's like the british navy this great military power was essentially like you know criminals it kind of makes sense though if you think about all these different civilizations throughout history that were run by tyrants and evil war mongers like look at how about the mongols i was just listening today to this person who was talking about and this is kind of funny because dan carlin's actually kind of joked about about people saying these things before dan carr was the host of no heart great amazing podcast yeah um what this guy was talking about was how the mongol empire it made the way it paved the way to a lot of great things with trading with eur with asia and all these different things and he sort of was waxing poetically about the impact of a group of people in the mongols run by genghis khan that killed between 50 and 70 million people in his lifetime he killed somewhere around 10 of the population of earth so much so he reduced the carbon footprint on planet earth because there's less people well did you ever hear about maybe i listened to it on his thing where he would they would eat meals on top of people they would stack people below their deck and so they would crush them to death while they're eating meals and he could hear them groan vlad tepis who is the inspiration for dracula for bram stoker's dracula he would put his enemies on stakes in front
of him so he would plant a steak in the ground and have a sharp point and impale them and so they would wither around while he was eating so he'd be eating lunch in front of them like like a percentage of all asians related to them yeah let's find out what that percentage is it's like a pretty severe amount he did a lot of [ __ ] the well you could say it did a lot of raping because that'd be more accurate yeah and i think he was he also like took over the army when he was like 14. he was uh like insane he was quite young when he killed his first people since 2003 a study found evidence that genghis khan's dna is present in about 16 million men alive the mongolian ruler's genetic prowess has stood as an unparalleled accomplishment [Laughter] look at that in quantitative terms 10 of the man who resides within the borders of the mongol empire as it was at the death of genghis khan may carry his dna yeah so that is i think that's wild that's asia i think that's into europe one in 200 men are scroll back up one in 200 men are direct descendants of genghis khan that's why if he was here right now he'd be like it's pronounced yeah and it was his name was temujin but jengas that was his real name and so he was and so like i had a joke about this in pale tourists it's like those mongols were like killing it and now they're like you know what we'll just open some buffets like they how do you like fall off the horse like that which so china and india are probably going to take over right most likely china china seems to have a very unique situation where their government and their businesses are inexorably intertwined they're not like any other place on earth whereas the government and the business business don't do anything without the government's supervision and when the businesses step out of line they vanish people they take billionaires they lock them in dungeons and who knows what the
[ __ ] they do to them but when people get they get mouthy they talk [ __ ] they they vanish them whether they're a billionaire or a famous actor or an athlete a tennis player yeah or a uyghur muslim i mean whatever they do they that tennis player they ever found her yeah i think she came out and she said i no there's a no there was a printed printed release i don't know if they've ever seen her in public the same as jack ma you know jack ma's the ceo of alibaba is he gone well he was gone for many months and then he came back and like he looks a little shell-shocked i mean i don't know what the [ __ ] they did to him they kept him in a cage what you know whether they tortured him whether they just scared the [ __ ] out of him when they put him in exile and just made it and him have an adjustment of his attitude but they don't play games kind of government is the expectation that wouldn't you think that corruption would lead to you know like we started this conversation about ego yeah and you're managing the wouldn't uh the chinese leadership corruption we you know it's human beings you would think so but i don't know if it's corruption in their sense because they seem to have this dedication to the ccp right and the ccp kind of runs everything and i don't know if you would call it corruption if they're intertwined like the way they think of businesses like business and government that the the business serves government yeah they did it really quick and then not only that they're doing it in all these other countries where they're giving them loans that they know they can never take back or they never pay back rather and then they control these natural resources well and also aren't they doing hey we're going to build you this power plant they're like great exactly we're going to bring in 500 000 people yeah and so but wouldn't corruption again people get greedy when people get greedy they kill them they they don't have a system like nancy pelosi would be dead as [ __ ] if she was
over there they would have killed her a long time ago have you um but like i mean unless she was serving the big businesses and serving the the chinese communist party unless she she was if she was a part of their system over there and she sort of exhibited the kind of arrogance that you've seen her exhibit as a you know a person who's the speaker of the house in america it's like it's a different world over there like when they have a dedication to the chinese communist party that's what their dedication is well is it that about you know some people believe that like it's revenge for the opium wars what is revenge for the opioid wars that they uh the chinese you know what the the british did with the opium warps the british essentially went in they tried to take over china china was like no thanks and the british were like okay here's some free opium and pull that up it's like it's a dark history it is how did they do that that was um i mean it's like 1600s the opium wars were two conflicts fought in china in the mid 19th century between the western countries of the how do you say that word i can't even know where it is q ing dynasty queen queen dynasty right jing maybe which ruled china from 1644 to 1911 1912. essentially how i understand it is these european powers were trying to take over china and there was some resistance so what they did is they essentially got them all addicted to opium and they lost a generation or two and so uh that's uh you know it's the fentanyl kind of creeping in yeah it's a very paranoid thing but like that's some revenge so i mean this is not revenge it seems like a good strategy for corrupting a population it's also you know if you have this great power that had to um you know i mean what a cruel thing to do i mean slavery's insane it's just a strategy for war though is it more cruel to drop a nuclear bomb on people at
least with opium you give them the ability to make a decision for themselves yeah it is i mean that's probably what they're doing with us with tick tock tick tock you think that they've released tick tock it's like a plague i wonder all these [ __ ] kids are just are your kids tick-tock oh yeah mine do they added it to tesla's checks what have you done elon i've defended you up until now i don't i don't play games on my [ __ ] tesla i just drive it so there's tick tock in tesla i guess you don't have to drive right chess is in tesla too how about talking about the good things sonically you can make a fart when you make a turn so uh what is going to happen with uh is is tesla going to take over like is in ten years is is uh elon musk gonna be in business or is he gonna be good question i mean i think tesla's going to be in business in 10 years i mean it's the biggest car manufacturer in the united states right now right isn't it i don't know i mean i know it's worth more i think it's they manufacture more and sell more teslas than any other american brand see if that's true no no what's that pretty sure ford f150s ford f150 was the top selling car like a million well let's find out don't just guess don't just guess but as a company i think tesla the company sells more cars than any other american car manufacturer i'm pretty sure of that or i read an article that was a lie that could be happening it could be propaganda do you have a tesla i don't you ever driven one i've been in one they're pretty spectacular uh they're they're next to the spaceship spaceship yeah for the last three years they've averaged 900 000 per year for f-150s i don't think they sell that
many teslas well why don't you google it instead of thinking i mean you know the f-150 is fascinating i had jokes about made by the pickup truck like when we were kids pickup trucks were kind of popular but now it is the embodiment of one's personality right okay q3 they just sold or just made their two millionth car whoa i believe that's for all of their you know they sold two million electric cars first automaker to reach 2 million what does that say click on that inside evs is that electric cars first automaker to reach the milestone soon the production sales volume will reach one million per year so they sell more man thank you that's not that's so glad i was right okay sure am i wrong tim yeah no that's one that that's tesla versus one ford car yeah right right the s150 how much does the f-150 sell 900 000 per year right but you know that um ford is actually they're going to stop production of almost everything except the f-150 and the mustang which is pretty good i just was saying yeah no but like the but like the f-150 and the mustang together is more than tesla i wonder and then if you add in um ford escorts you know and then there's two million milestones they're the first company that sells two million electric cars so that's the the milestone is that they're the first company to sell that many electric cars so like every year by the way there's no cars available to buy right oh it's nuts that's crazy the chip shortage thing is [ __ ] spooky because like you guys didn't see that coming you just thought you could just buy chips from china and they would be cool just selling them to you why do you guys talk a lot of [ __ ] about china 2020 the amount of autos and light trucks sold in the u.s dipped to around 14 500 right of course all companies ford motor companies vehicles in the u.s between 2015 to well that doesn't say but like the oh it does right there 599 000 units to around 539 thousand
units that's counter to the nine that's about four so yeah who knows um why don't you google google when china is going to invade sells the most cars i predict that china oh because you know china is going to take over taiwan wednesday it seems like it's already happening and it seems like well they they quietly took over hong kong during the pandemic where they locked down all freedom of the press and they started arresting activists and they started doing things that no one protested about and they just go oh okay we're going to keep going i love performing in china so i don't want to do you too late yeah go over there right now brother tap your phone you're going to be in trouble after you do this podcasting culturally um but i think you're standing over there yeah what's it like well i'm performing for xpath but there are you know or people that have lived in the u.s and have gone back there but i would say that my prediction is after the uh the beijing winter olympics that's when china is going to be like all right we're gonna take we're gonna take taiwan you think so well i thought that russia and and uh this is all just you know by the way i talk about food in my act um this is uh you know it's also putin is and you wants ukraine by the way i performed in moscow there's a uh a subway station in moscow the the subway stations in moscow are so beautiful and um because they wanted to celebrate the working people so like the subway stations are really nice and one of the subway stations is all ukraine it's like so like when we say russia giving up um the independence it's like it's it's kind of messy you know crimea historically there's a lot of um would it be like if texas try to secede oh that's their subway station yeah it's [ __ ] beautiful and so like there is a
one that is all dedicated to uh ukraine they have such specific architecture right like if you look at in moscow and you look at the the architecture it's so clear it's russian architecture well there's you know a lot of it was destroyed i think i mean by the way like performing in warsaw so weird yeah like warsaw was completely leveled and they rebuilt it from photographs so you're like whoa you're walking through and you're like oh look this church poland so fascinating like there's different museums in warsaw and it's like what do you want to cry about because it's like there's one that's all about the polish jews like at the start of world war ii one in six polish citizens was jewish it's like you're like one in six and now there's like two thousand whoa and there was like 30 million people and one in six was jewish and so i mean i'm getting all the numbers wrong but and then there's just like jesus christ look at this so warsaw was like there's a story of like when the russia when the polish rose up in warsaw to take down the nazis the russians were on the other side of the river and they said they they're like hey come on in help us we're fighting the germans and the russians were like we'll wait and so they let the polish fight the germans the polish finally took over then the russians came in took over the polish like the polish history is insane oh like just look devastating flattened that place was and and when the when the germans left they leveled everything like they knew they were going to lose they just just just screw over the poles and it's like the polish people have been dealing with this for generations and this is you know within the last hundred years or so that's what's [ __ ] about history it's like that's a blip
crazy tiny blip it's crazy one of the things in dan carlin's hardcore history um and again this is in the twelve hundreds right when gamescom was live he talked about the chorizome and shaw who went to visit jin china because they were trying to see like you know should we invade these people they have anything to steal yeah what are you gonna do over there yeah and as they went down the path they thought what they saw in the distance was a snow-covered mountain and as they got closer they realized it was a stack of bones that was so high there was a million dead people stacked on top of each other they had to abandon the roads because the roads were so filled with decaying human bodies that the roads had deteriorated into mud and you couldn't you could where is this this was in jin china you couldn't traverse the roads you couldn't make it through and this people were dying just from sickness from the stench of the rotting bodies and the bacteria that was in the air but the fact that there were so many dead bodies that they mistook a pile of them as a mountain with snow-covered peaks and then as they got closer they realized oh my god that's a stack of bodies over a million dead people unbelievable just stacked on top of each other and they did that with [ __ ] bows and arrows and swords well by the way it's like caesar killed millions caesar who everyone's like caesar i love going to little caesars it's a nice restaurant it's like spqr i love that it's like murdered tons of people he has this whole uh series on um i think it was all about caesar's holocaust or whatever because he killed millions of golf meanwhile he's got a salad yeah imagine if there's a hitler salad yes well you know the caesar salad invented in tijuana really there was a a an italian i actually ate at the restaurant there's an italian there was a um i think it's a mexican guy tijuana salad invented in uh uh a mexican guy in tijuana who invented it's a famous
restaurant in a hotel in tijuana that's interesting well the fact they figured out to put anchovies on it yeah such a bold move yeah it's so delicious so good so good so good right and it's probably so bad for you right i don't know i am a gigantic fan of mexican food oh my gosh i [ __ ] love mexican food why is like american food's okay but like mexican food is it's life-changing spice there's a lot of spice like a good carne asada burrito oh my god with guacamole and oh it's so diced onions there's different there's different peppers in different regions yes so fascinating yeah no i might just i'm so proud to be mexican i uh how funny is the louis ck's mexican oh it's amazing like legitimately born in mexico yeah well you know like the whole i mean mexico has a pretty sordid history too crazy history like they had there there was like you know you know what we did to the native americans they did to their native people they did them dirty too well what we need to recognize also is like how did they come to speak spanish in the first place they came to speak spanish in the first place because of european settlers came by and just destroyed their [ __ ] country and the only reason they could do that is european diseases yes that's their work solutions yeah they were going to get their ass kicked and people just started getting the cold but there was also some real confusion like when cortez and his people showed up on on horses yeah i thought they were gods yeah like what are these other [ __ ] riding a horse this is crazy yeah like they that's what's really wild like the mayans didn't ride horses like they had built that kind of an empire without riding horses and well it's like but also like i mean from mexico we got tomatoes corn uh
and then there's some third thing oh chocolate it's like it's insane like everything that the reason i'm fat it comes from mexico i wonder if like the old corn like the kind of corn you hang on your your door for thanksgiving that yeah [ __ ] corn i wonder if that's like better for you have you ever watched that sure it is i you know in by the way like in i did a show in bogota and damn you travel everything i love i love internet well i did this pale tourist special where i was gonna do latin america and i was in right when the pandemic hit but the vegetables like have you seen corn in south america no it is like a kernel is like the size of this really i'm exaggerating but if we pull some of the the images up of you know how like have you ever been to a country and you're like like we're kind of used to it like growing up i didn't know what hummus was but like you go to certain countries and you're like oh this fruit like there's fruit that we don't know of oh yeah durian yeah there's like which is disgusting it smells like yeah but like yeah but like there's some kernels colombian corn that looks like regular corn no but look at the size of those kernels they're pretty fat right yeah but i would think that american corn would be fatter because of genetical genetic modifications right but i think it's pro fat i think it's i would imagine that it is that's impressive it's probably the speed of growing that we're after right and we probably want to get to the point right away and then we get like quick growing do you know why carrots are orange keratin no carrots are not originally orange they were changed to orange to honor the king of the netherlands william of orange really yes william of orange yes how the [ __ ] did they do that i don't know because i've had by the way were invented in brussels they were invented
yes somebody invented brussels sprouts i think i think there's um this is where i'm like complete these are all things that are in my head that i think are true the brussels sprouts but like the carrots look up carrots you know you get carrots and you're like oh purple carrot i think they all used to be purple really yeah is this true uh yes but i don't see the reasoning for it being as like a present or an homage to anyone i've had white characters it does say something 16th century dutch carrots being purple a tribute to the emblem of the house of orange yes and the struggle for dutch independence i wonder how they did it like how do you i mean if you either have orange carrots or you don't well you make them orange every farmer collects seeds right so it's like wow this crop grew really well this is a stronger seed i'm gonna plant this seed rather than these didn't do that well i'm not gonna save these seeds right so i think carrot bonus facts oh here we go it's actually possible to turn your skin a shade of orange by massively over consuming orange carrots i know that and addicted that i watched it happen orange carrots get their bright orange color from beta-carotene beta-carotene metabolizes in the human gut and bile salts into vitamin a the origins of the cultivated carrot is rooted in the purple carrot in the region around modern day afghanistan wow the purple carrot comes from [ __ ] afghanistan while cultivation of the garden style orange carrot lapses for a few generations the carrots revert back to their ancestral carrot types which are very different from the current garden variety in ancient times the root part of the carrot plant we eat today was not typically used wow the carrot plant however was highly valued due to the medicinal value of its seeds and leaves for instance how do you say that guy mithridae mithridates the the sixth king of pontinus pontius poncho oh pontius around 100 bc had a recipe for counteracting certain poisons with the principal ingredient being carrot seeds
it has since been proven that this concoction actually works huh wow it says they had white ones and yellow ones too the romans believed that uh carrots were aphrodisiacs wow imagine you can go back with a bucket of viagra of rome and go boys i'm here to make money i mean all right so if you could go back to any time period like would you go to rome no i would go to ancient egypt i would go to the during the time of the construction of the pyramids i'd be like what was that like like how did they do that by the way so there's pyramids in egypt there's pyramids in central and south america yeah these two human species i mean these two human beings two groups of human beings both decided to do it wow yeah very different though different in terms of uh style but also similar in terms of the the way they um laid out their their villages and theirs their cities to coincide or to match up with constellations really interesting so many of them were skywatchers you know whether it's the ancient egyptians ancient mayans the aztecs wow yeah what's really nuts man is that there was thriving civilizations in the amazon and that they believe that they were wiped out by european diseases and that this was not really known until the invention of lidar and as their there was it was very it was speculated and it was the premise from the movie the lost city of z but over time with the advent of this new technology which is it's like a light emitting radar type deal this thing called lidar that allows them to non-invasively scan the the ground and with this penetrating uh technology they can see trenches that were indicative of irrigation systems grids that were there for cities all swallowed up by the jungle because the people there died because european settlers brought in smallpox wow so this all this stuff so they find these oh
this is another one the guatemalan jungle that they think okay this is one of the ancient cities home to millions more people than previously thought vast interconnected network of ancient cities and these cities that were there were talked about by the initial european settlers not even settlers rather explorers yeah they went to these areas and they talked about these incredible golden palaces and these amazing you know gilded chest plates and helmets these people wore then they came back like a new group of people came back 50 years later was all gone everyone was dead not only that the the jungle had overcome all of the cities and so they're like oh these guys were lying and so the second group the second wave of european explorers thought the first group were just full of [ __ ] and they they kept this idea until fairly recently i want to blow your mind even further yeah the plants that are there they're man planted that's a the the rain forest like the amazon rainforest is a result of agriculture wait a minute so that was someone planted those yes yes the amazon rainforest is a result of that amazon rainforest was planted well not necessarily planted as much as the original plants were invasive and they overwhelmed all the other plants here it is supposedly pristine untouched amazon rainforest was actually shaped by humans over thousands of years native people played a strong role in molding the ecology of this vast wilderness not only did they do that but they did that with a specific technology in creating a compost that we to this day do not understand the process of a special compost they had a very special compost that created this dark very rich earth that was made with controlled burns and the introduction of some composted material and you know like some you know biological material whether it's food or decayed animals or whatever the [ __ ] it is but the bacteria from this was incredibly rich and allowed them to have this amazingly fertile ground that they're losing when they're doing these mass burns and they're doing these like they're ex
defoliating these areas for like cattle ranches and they're [ __ ] up the rain forest in the process of doing so based on that then the oxygen output that the amazon provides was not there at one time exactly yeah exactly but i mean there were less humans way less humans yeah i mean you gotta imagine there's you know a few million people that were living down there but it's nothing like you know the 20 plus million that live in los angeles or mexico city which is enormous or some of these other cities but that whole rainforest area where we think of as like this is how it's supposed to be no that was they were planting a bunch of these like really prolific plants that they used for agricultural purposes wouldn't that lead us to believe that we could therefore reverse global warming if we could do something like that take it from me again i tell food jokes yeah for a living there's people that believe that there's people that also believe that one of the things about carbon dioxide is that you know carbon dioxide which is obviously what human beings exhale and plants inhale and then they produce oxygen with the excess carbon in our environment there's actually more greenery today than there was a hundred years ago really yeah i know what the [ __ ] it's very complicated and i think one of the reasons why people don't like talking about it because they don't want to exonerate human beings from the disastrous impact of our carbon output on on the earth itself and our and not just carbon but particulates and all the pollution but make sure that's true but i'm pretty sure that's true because that was actually told to me by a legitimate scientist he was explaining how the one benefit of the increase in carbon is that there's actually an increase in the amount of green plants that exist today because of that because they literally exist off of carbon of carbon dioxide wow yeah there's it's hard because you you want to say like oh you know maybe we can fix global warming by this like look at this higher concentrations of carbon dioxide make plants more productive because photosynthesis relies on using the sun's energy to synthesize
sugar out of carbon dioxide and water plants and ecosystems use the sugar as both an energy source and as the basic building block for growth yes more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere health plans so global land photosynthesis changes in its causes so if you look at the year 2000 look at when they go back to the year 1000 like look at that chart look how few how few plants there were now look at 2 000 look how much more green there is carbon dioxide fertilization increased leaf area and growing season change it's pretty wild like there's more greenery today and the re but the real mind [ __ ] is knowing that the amazon rainforest is the result of human agriculture that's insane yeah it's um there's like um what are the plants they're the weird plants one of them is like the ice cream bean one of them is um there's a bunch of different really odd plants that are the result of this extreme uh foliation how about in sapiens how like farming really is like ended up being a real problem for humans like we could finally feed everyone but the problem is is we started eating crap yeah right yeah that's where people are like we'll just eat grain tons of grain yeah i know i think education is really the problem more than it is farming because if it wasn't for farming you'd never have cities you know like there's no way you're going to have something like manhattan without farming it doesn't exist it's not possible they're not growing anything there like no one's no one's self-sustaining no one has like a lot the fact that the romans fed themselves with food that was grown in egypt that's insane that's insane that's insane the romans all the grain in egypt it's insane how far is that it seems pretty far well they did get one of those obelisks from ancient egypt and it's in the centerpiece of uh of of one of the the main places in the vatican have you been to vatican yeah yeah you ever seen the obelisk that's from yeah maybe i saw they have one of
them in central park too really yeah well there's an egyptian obelisk in in central park in manhattan there's one in the museum of is it that met they have a whole room in the math that like is insane where would you go if you if you had a time machine if you go back to one point in human history i would love to meet uh my ancestor who came uh one of them that came over from ireland um that would be cool savages you think so they must have been wild [ __ ] people willing to get in a boat and take your kids across a [ __ ] ocean with not even a youtube video to watch yeah they they just had a a a dream that doesn't happen you should do one of those finding your roots things have you done that like a 23andme yeah no well they they have uh dr lewis gates oh and so my last name is gaffigan but like the real name was gavahan and they changed it like there's this belief that oh everyone changed their name the the german uh people that worked at uh these immigration places changed their names and now because they signed the logs back in ireland so they gave the name of gaffigan here's another interesting fact uh in in at the start of world war one or world war ii more americans spoke german than english really i think that's true look that up see if that's right more wild so like you know like st patrick's day that uh there is like america is very german like st louis cincinnati all german and german and french but like there was a time when like the percentage of people that spoke german in the us was now we're gonna find out it was like 38 percent but that's still insane that's insane well what is the primary second language in america today is spanish right yes what do you think the population what the percentage of the
population speaks spanish is 20 maybe well i think that hispanics are at least 20 25 right but how many of them are fluent in spanish because i have friends that are mexican yeah that don't speak spanish well i think that's the the american story is that the first generation wants to become american so they kind of don't embrace it and then generations after that try and rediscover it yeah so i don't know so let's find out with the german what's the percentage that spoke german at the turn of the century i'm gonna say based on your story alone and no research 42 i mean it would be amazing if you know it's like again 25 is amazing it's insane like it's one of those things so matt madison square garden there was a pro-nazi rally i saw that it's insane that's insane that was in like the 30s right wasn't it yeah yeah that's wild look at that [ __ ] image just to get that other point i was saying it was the number two language in 1917 but i was trying to dig through a bunch of stuff there was some laws that were being passed to stop education in any other language other than english around that time period too what do they say as far as what percentage i did i was i was trying to find an actual statistic i was good i wasn't getting the right information i was trying to go too quick yeah you got nicotine gum jim that's my nicotine gum god damn my friend nicotine man it gets you doesn't it what what is what's your nicotine cigars cigars yeah did you ever dip no i swallowed it once i dipped i've i've dipped before dip gives you a wild rush though i'll tell you that what is this i had it said during uh world war one world war one u.s government propaganda erased german culture yeah no they reached they changed the names of all the streets eight million first and second generations out of hold on 92 million count in the population of 92. so yeah so
that's how many that's a lot of in their first language that's 10 percent wow yeah it's it's it's somewhere up there so during the 1850s 900 000 almost a million germans went to the united states wow that's a lot that's a lot back then that's the time when the german population was only 40 million so wow that's crazy that's crazy yeah i knew there was a lot of newspapers that were written in german back then but i didn't know it's kind of stunning being spoken well you see how little england is yeah you know that i mean it makes sense what you're talking about with pirates that like they had to be the most horrific monsters to try to control the empire well it's also insane by the way so i did this special in um spain so i i i and i love history so do you know what year they finally unified spain where they got rid of the moors and they finally the castilians kind of piece together what we consider modern day spain do you know what year they did that no 1492. the year that columbus so they literally finally kicked the moors out by the way were really they were really not nice the moors were evil people well no no they were not nice to the moors or the jews like they got the moors though they were conquerors themselves they were conquerors but like everybody was back but like the the i mean i performed in morocco it's like amazing to think that like you know we we think of the colonizers as these europeans but the arabs were colonizers too they colonized morocco so like there's the berbers and i'm sure i'm pronouncing that wrong that so the moroccans that were in spain were part of you know when muhammad and all these guys rose up the great
arab power was they took over and they got all all the way into spain and stuff like that but it's insane to think that i mean this was a joke that i had when i went to spain like spain took all the gold all the gold from central and south america all of it so like there wasn't really that much gold in north america there was gold in central and south america and the spain took it all and they spent it and so one of my jokes when i was in spain i'm like where's the gold where is it you guys like they literally like one of the things they did is they built a navy and they got their ass kicked by the british you know so it's it's really fascinating to see what how quick these empires come and how quick they disappear yeah and that's the strange thing about where we are today is that we want to think that the united states is going to be around forever and that you know the power and influence we enjoy over the rest of the world will continue this way and there's no way would ever live under the thumb of a ruthless dictator like they did you know back in the day in this part of the world or that part of the world like that's been the standard way that human beings have governed forever yeah the romans were like we're good no one's going to take over yeah come on we got it yeah the greeks the same way i mean they started with democracy yeah right and it all [ __ ] fell apart i mean the romans were like so confident they're like you know constantine's like you know what i don't even want to do rome anymore let's go over to what's present-day istanbul like he switched the capital of rome that's insane it's it's kind of like if a president was like you know what i think our capital should now be in uh let's now put it in vancouver yeah like in a different country right this roman empire it was named after a city rome and he moved it to an you know essentially asia it's like insane why did he go there i think that
i think just i think that was that was modern maybe i don't know oh interesting i don't know i dan carlin would know yeah he'd be the guy how does that guy know so much he's just consuming yeah well he works so hard on his show to call his show a podcast and to call this a podcast is really kind of hilarious because this is like we did zero preparation i haven't seen you in two years yeah yeah we talked like through text messages only and then also we're sitting there talking we have no idea what we're going to talk about and we've been talking for hours dan carlin when he does a two-hour podcast he will research that for months months and months like well he'll do a thing like the wrath of the con which is a spectacular five-piece series on genghis khan when he did that it took like six months to prepare wow yeah and then he puts them out and you can get them for a dollar they cost a dollar each and it is like literally some of the most spectacular historical entertainment you'll ever get in your life it's educational there's an enthusiasm to how he does it he's amazing he's an amazing and he's so humble too he always says he's not a historian like picture yeah he always says that i'm saying that he's have you met him i haven't met him he's a great guy too he's been on the podcast a couple times and so what is so the length of his podcasts are astronomical yeah they're like four hours poor part one yeah of caesar conquers the world and you're like what he's like let me quote from this book that i read i'm like dude i haven't like reading this dense information he goes sophocles wrote this thing and you're like how do you know that yeah he and he covers so many different topics he had a great piece on martin luther and the invention of lutheranism and the time in history where making a version of the bible that was phonetically readable that people could understand like a phonetic interpretation of the bible where you could say the word like that didn't exist like they they all
read the bible in latin and if you didn't understand latin you most people didn't read right you were at the whim of the priests and martin luther came along and said actually what god said like she could probably interpret it yourself and not leave it to these people and like they came real close to killing him a few times for that it is amazing how consistently uh the messages and the teachings of jesus are like like humans can't grasp it like they're like way off like oh we're supposed to take care of the poor we're supposed to help the needy we're supposed to do all this and people were like does that mean i should get another car like we don't we don't even come close i'm gonna get a jesus tattoo do you i mean like we don't and i'm talking about people that uh you know embrace the christian faith yes like get it wrong i'm not talking about people like i don't believe in that stuff right people who proclaim to be christian again humans are pretty dumb well collectively we're pretty brilliant what we're capable of collectively i mean we're both carrying around a small glass and metal device that sends video through the sky to people that live on the other side of the planet yeah and we use it we have no idea how it works no no i mean i kind of roughly can tell you what they've done but i don't i mean i can't recreate it if you're alone on an island with a million years with all the tools in the world you'd never be able to figure out how to make a phone people like if someone came up to me right now they're like can you fix this toaster i'd be like sorry i can't so imagine like collectively we're brilliant individually we vary so wildly that some of us like myself are basically champs with a good vocabulary and some people are like elon musk who figure out how to drill tunnels under the earth to [ __ ] shoot traffic oh by the way did you see that that fell apart in vegas what did this traffic jam in the tunnel yeah i just saw that there was um some negative article on it well they're saying there's a traffic jam but
essentially the traffic was at the exit of the tunnel like you couldn't just get out of the tunnel real quick you had to wait to get out of the tunnel which is not good no the whole point is to not wait you know and for claustrophobic people oh my god imagine if you're in the middle of the tunnel so it was just causing people there are people using a tunnel right that's a good question i don't know there was a newscast there was some some news program that was doing this whole thing about the tunnels in vegas i believe there would be it was uh for ces like it's underneath the convention center in vegas and that's where ces was so well occasionally they have burst into flames right uh tesla yeah i think there's they show at least a video of one in that compilation yeah so like i don't know what hell will happen there but yeah but here's what could be an actually here's you know and like there was the movie tucker and stuff like that like the first time you were in a tesla were you kind of like what are the other car manufacturers it's not like we've got windshield wipers that work better they're like everything is better well the first time i was in one was uh there was an app where you could rent a car from the app and they would deliver it to you sort of like uh uber eats or something like that yeah they deliver a car for you and you drive the car around then you tell them where it is when you're done and then they would come and get it yeah i was like whoa this was like early on in the podcast i want to say this is like 2 000 12-ish or something like that and uh they were one of our sponsors so i was like wow this is really fascinating and i drove it around but back then the battery technology the the efficiency was not that good like i drove to the comedy store and back and i had half the battery life i was like what yeah like this is crazy and i didn't have a charger because it was at the studio so i was like this is this seems like a little i don't want to be somewhere where it runs out of batteries yeah then years later elon did the podcast and he talked me into buying one he's like it's the best car you got
to buy it okay i buy it i buy it i'll buy it and i bought it i was like holy [ __ ] it is the best car because by then they had really perfected it like this how long does the battery last mine is i got the new one and i think if you fully charge it it hits somewhere around 350 miles see what see what a um model s plaid can do also i keep it in ludicrous mode cause i'm reckless what's littercrest mode the fastest it can drive like there's different modes and some modes allow you to predict is that ludicrous the singer it's not okay oh yeah great if you hit the gas it goes oh ooh charge timer uh no how long is the uh total mileage how long can it go for what's the range that's the range so you need to go to chris mode you need to have a charger at home oh yeah 100 percent like what is the so you have to be rich enough to have a home yes you have to have a home or you can go to a charge station 348 miles okay oh eighty percent of it's okay that's it so it traveled 280 miles and how long would you take the charge uh is it like overnight no four hours i think what is like you have a s yeah the the the slower one not the supercharger would take if you were on the empty yeah it fills up like the first half of it faster and then as you get fuller it starts going a little slower uh but if you're at a supercharger you can get it done in a half an hour 45 minutes i think especially as it's getting faster and faster it's funny that's like something a kid would say you know if you get a supercharger well they have that's called a supercharger supercharger you have to go to supercharger yeah it sounds like that's not the technical term no it's a supercharger it's super duper super duper but they haven't added the extra uh remember when reggie was in here he's explained the porsche has a bigger bandwidth pipeline right and i don't think they have that yet but that should let it charge the almost the whole thing in half an hour i think if not right that's uh a different setup that hasn't been totally implemented yet so they have a
tesla has the best network of charging stations like you could go across the country and the the car will tell you where the chargers are and then you can go to that charger is elon one of these guys that's like he's like uh i have this idea and because there's a lot of brilliant people right um but he also has to have the ability to get it done look a lot of people like a lot of things you're doing it's not just about having the idea it's about saying okay i want you to do this you to do this yeah he has that management skill too right he definitely does he also works so hard that he leads by example i mean the guy works [ __ ] 16 hours a day he said constantly working so he's constantly doing things wow so he's just and and also he's got great time management in terms of his ability to concentrate on spacex for a little bit tesla for a little bit and then you know this isn't that fascinating he has a space program that he does on the side yeah [Laughter] like i just you know like the amount of articles that i want to read [Laughter] about the nfl playoffs is stressing me out but he is like you imagine being that smart we're like i mean it's it's odd it's amazing it's i'm friends with him and i you know hung out with him a bunch of times and talked to him he's uh he's so much smarter than me it's confusing well he's i mean i think that like a lot of people are in that position with him right oh yeah most people are in that position with him yeah and especially when you look at the the width of his knowledge right it's not a narrow pipeline like he's concentrating on you know just semiconductor chips or just this just uh he's doing multiple different complex tubes underneath the ground yeah which like i just it sounds like a comedy bit it does maybe one day it'll be legit like maybe it's like the battery of the tesla the first one that i got 10 plus years ago which is it's just like subway
a road for cars but you're trapped in there in your car and it's the the the belt is moving right i don't know what's moving i it looked to me like the car was driving that looks like a car is driving to me see here's the jam but look it looks it looks like the opening is how far is the opening up there does it go all the way so is this a prototype like he's like built it underneath see but this is not a it's a small traffic jam because look how quickly everybody's going out but also this is the end of this long ass tunnel and it looks like everybody's so you can see if you look ahead the opening yeah i would think they wouldn't want people driving because people would get drunk and drive under the wall well you can let the car drive itself so you don't even like do anything like it has auto driving so yeah this is the end of the line that's only like a minute of a traffic jam not that big of a tunnel though as from what i've read like it's like the holland tunnel like he's like in a way he's kind of like this amazing invention i've invented the holland tunnel you know it's like tunnels existed before i think that's one of them but i think in other ones you're gonna attach yourself to a thing and then it's gonna rocket you way faster than your car can go right so it's gonna rocket you from san francisco to l.a allegedly right that's what i heard i just want to be in them that's the plan but like but i think so like that was just driving this one that we just showed i believe is this it's less than a mile long it's just a convention center oh the plan is to get this which is the whole strip it's taking that little part and then adding the entire strip and you have a little spot to peel off at every casino but they have you know that's that's a way bigger construction program that's kind of fascinating like if there's a bunch of tunnels and you could just get out at the bellagio bloop and pop out or you could just take the road that exists it's like it's like a a road
but it's like underneath yeah yeah that's called a tunnel well one of the things they do out here in texas is uh people have small helicopters yeah and they fly around like my friend tim tim kennedy he has a helicopter and he flies around places in his [ __ ] helicopter so he's on the rules place and he he just fights in the helicopter he flies he'll land somewhere and then uber to where he needs to go and then he flies back home so he where he lives is like 40 minutes by car but five minutes by helicopter oh wow getting a helicopter when you land i mean that's what they when they envisioned the helicopter initially they thought that helicopter was going to be a flying car that's what they essentially thought it was going to be for everybody wow like the jetsons yeah literally and bill burr and bill burr have you been up with bill before no i haven't bill's taking me up a couple times it's [ __ ] awesome it's amazing it's really wild like he you can fly around downtown la you can go anywhere you want like we were just flying around downtown l.a like around buildings and [ __ ] really so you can get close to buildings oh my god real close like as close to buildings as like the parking lot is to this studio like you like you could throw a rock from the helicopter if you open the window and hit a building wow not only that like the buildings a lot of them have like helicopter landing pads on the roof they have this big x i told you last week i saw that this video got sent to me on insta or on youtube it's got 2 million views a guy took a para motor it's called up to 17 000 feet but he just takes off from the middle of this like housing area he straps this [ __ ] fan onto his back and just starts going he looks like what i would imagine the neighbor's crazy kid that's what he starts doing and then he just goes he goes to seventeen thousand feet he's just floating up there with his iphone jesus chris what have you dropped it on someone's head imagine you died because this [ __ ] dork drops his iphone on your head at one point he's just like i think if you pass out you might just you float down
for a while i don't know because he seems pretty new in it he's probably got no air he's not yeah he hadn't gone up this high oh [ __ ] he doesn't have an air tank it just seemed but at what point does oxygen become a problem right there at that point first of all how cold is it he got very cold i did that i was very curious about all these things you guys were asking so i just sort of watched what if he gets hit by a plane one part he wanted to go through a cloud he's like it's gonna be awesome to go through it i think he thought that was a bad idea yeah you get hit by lightning but they said it was all like the view he's talking about how awesome it all is and he's just floating up there did he tell everybody that the earth is flat i did look you can't really tell honestly it doesn't you can't see anything it's flat bro but another video of his he goes flying over sharks and stuff down in florida but look how amazing that is yeah so this kid's just crazy so how did he get down you just float he's got mittens and [ __ ] you float down eventually you start going you turn off the power and you just you coast oh wow look at this he got home to where he was right back to where his car right back where he started that's amazing he did a podcast in space but i think you can just buy these and go i don't know he i'm sure he he trained himself so he doesn't die but i mean this is just my takeaway i'm like who's mowing all that area that's interesting that's a big job oh my gosh the landscape earlier i want that contract that's a good contract though that would be a good contract oh you got good money in that one yeah good law stuff [ __ ] do you remember the guy who faked uh his kid floating away in a balloon in colorado yeah did he go to jail i think so what do you mean he faked his kid yeah like he he had a hoax where he said his children like one of his children grabbed a hold of a balloon and floated away like the cops were looking for the kid like they were worried and why did he he just pretended it's like he just did it as a prank i think or just as a way to get attention yeah
there's a son it was like online live news all over the country yeah boy trapped in runaway balloon it was a 2009 hoax i know this because that was the same year that i moved to colorado and joey diaz started calling me balloons why but but here's what i understand it's like what would his motivation be he's like gotcha just an idiot just an idiot who wanted attention this was there in the reality tv days right so this is like john and kate plus eight what a great idea i have 18 kids you know have uh the octomom remember that like yeah people were doing anything they could to get attention and i think this knucklehead just decided he was going to pretend that his kid floated away and so he went to jail i believe he was sentenced all right so there uh 2019 a local denver news reporter did an in-depth story on like the truth finally comes out i guess he was trying to start a tv show viral uh story or something like that oh i see so did he wind up getting sentenced um jail or prison isn't anything i saw pop up yet but maybe yeah i'm pretty sure he had to do a little stint they spent 62 000 looking for the balloon 90 days in prison boy 90 days there you go you serve 20 days so dumb so dumb but not shocking i mean how many people will do almost anything for some kind of fame and attention did you hear about the girl selling her farts she had a heart attack and now she saw him as nfts as the next turn of that story she probably didn't have a heart attack she's probably saying she had a heart attack so everybody would pay attention to her more pretty smart she's some reality star yeah and she was selling her jars of farts she would fart into a jar and sell them like how do you get to that point of an idea you know hear me out well guys she's hot she's hot she's hot so guys look at her and they'll go want something from her anything she's like i'll sell my farts and you're like oh buy them i'll buy them how much cells are far suffers health care i think they're like 50 bucks yeah so she probably sold
thousands of them yeah so there's just 50 but here's the thing 50 do you really think she's farting in those jars she's just selling jars i would say it's a fraud i mean look i don't think she really had a heart scare are you there do you do you know how much bert crusher eats and yeah how much he farts and this lady she i read the thing she said she was drinking to to make him more pungent she was drinking three protein shakes a day and eating a bunch of bean soup like black bean soup she's just being silly she's funny she's making it's fun yeah we're talking about it yeah yeah it's smart 90-day fiance so she was on that show 90-day fiance yeah yeah listen man some people just they get a little bit of attention they they go okay we got to keep this ball rolling i i s on a plane i sat next to somebody who was a bachelorette or a bachelor uh she was a bachelorette i don't know if that's and um she had a little business going on yeah well it's smart i mean if you can get on one of those shows and you know anytime you can get on one of those shows where you're on abc or nbc or whatever it is and you know you get a little bit of heat you could blow on those embers and throw some kindling on it and you can make a fire i mean there's people that have real careers that they've made from those goofy shows like real housewives of beverly hills i mean haven't there been like a bunch of big businesses have been launched from those shows if you're clever and you're you know you're opportunistic you make the most out of that moment it is interesting how there's we applaud certain ambitions but we judge others yes so she's farting in a can and we're kind of like that's humiliating look at she's like look at her she's [ __ ] she's pretty smoking but there's the jar jar fart nft what is it growing plants what is it yeah this is 100 like it's turned into a joke of it now right of course fart jars with stephanie mato i wonder how much it costs so there you go yeah there's different look oh the difference oh she's she wants
ethereum 0.05 eth oh boy so what does uh let's make some money yeah if it sells out i mean look she's she's being smart right she said she had a heart attack you know that's not true people are like that's okay but like like matt damon does a commercial for crypto and people freak out well the difference is matt damon is jason bourne and he's a super successful actor okay he is very wealthy he doesn't need the money and a lot of people associate crypto with a scam okay but she's just a hustler but she's a young girl is crypto a scam i i don't think it's a scam okay i think it's a what's wrong with a form of money but it's viewed it's it's an education issue i think so so if but i don't know i just you know look as the number one matt damon defender on i just i remember seeing that and i'm like so i mean people do you know is nft a scam is is uh promoting a gambling thing is promoting alcohol is that a scam no no i don't think any of them are scams and here's the way i look at things what upsets me does it upset me yeah no doesn't upset me so who is it upsetting and why is it upsetting them well because they have nothing better to do they're wondering whether or not matt damon should be doing a commercial for cryptocurrency like what do you give a [ __ ] like why is that even on your radar for a second well by the way it's i i mean it's weird i just think it's strange but it's look commercials the the equation of do people need the money they don't do i mean it's like but is that um it's like does kevin james i mean does uh kevin hart needed another job no but like you know what that's that's what he does though that's muscles he he's a hustler right so it's like we don't criticize him what's wrong with matt damon you know i don't know
well kevin hart i don't think is selling crypto though is he um he's uh he's selling credit cards right but everybody has a credit card that's like a normal thing but if matt damon was selling a credit card i don't think it would like remember when jennifer gardner was doing credit card commercials remember she's still doing it okay nobody cares but she doesn't need money i'm sure she needs money why does she need money because she probably doesn't work as much anymore and her and ben affleck are divorced and why borrow money from matt damon if he has so much money of course it's like but the thing is but my point is you have to pay it back no one needs none of these people need more money what does that mean though matt damon's crypto commercial gets ridiculed for comparing crypto investments with space travel oh that's why it's a cringe well let's play the commercial because i haven't seen it have you seen it i think i've seen it i haven't seen it have you seen it is it cringy i don't know no not but i mean i g if you want to say that that com investing in bitcoin is the same as scaling mount everest that's a little much is that what he said i don't know if it's crazy well no but but i've seen the commercial it's like let's let's watch with almost with those who almost adventured who almost achieved but ultimately for them it proved to be too much then there are others the ones who embrace the moment and commit and in these moments of truth these men and women these mere mortals just like you and me as they peer over the edge [Music] they calm their minds [Music] and steal their nerves [Music] with four simple words that have been whispered by the intrepid since the time of the romans
fortune favors the brave crypto.com hmm that's silly now by the way i'm a giant matt damon fan so yeah that said i know i don't get upset because i really like them i like watching them it's great yeah great actor but that's a little cringy what's so i i don't know i think it's dumb look if i was doing that commercial i'd go guys guys guys isn't there another way to sell this we don't have to compare ourselves to [ __ ] christopher columbus and neil armstrong here this is nonsense and that couple that was about to kiss or the guy but the um but isn't the point that they're making is that look you gotta get in on the bottom floor yes fortune favors the brave yes for sure um but is that really the way to do it compare yourself to the [ __ ] people that left earth's atmosphere rock it into [ __ ] space no also there were also like you're buying they were also comparing themselves to colonizers too did you see that boat it's like you can conquer foreign lands yeah you could bring slaves to the beach of a new place isn't that what all advertising is though um in some way right it's like manipulated exaggerations and yeah i don't know i mean it's just i think it's interesting i think it's interesting how culturally certain things are considered acceptable yes yeah it is interesting and it changes dependent upon the questions it's like the you know a lot of reality shows seem to be taking advantage of people right taking advantage of people that are maybe they want it but like some of them have you know maybe they're struggling with some issues mental health issues and why is that okay well you're talking to the guy who hosted fear factor for six years so maybe you need to talk to someone else no
no because you want to talk about being a hypocrite if i was like yeah they shouldn't do that no but i'm a hypocrite too i'm not i'm not even calling you a hypocrite i'm talking about like i'm asking a sincere question why are certain things why are people piling up on him right when i mean they're barely piling up they're barely piling up right yeah it's not gonna affect them if jason bourne three comes out next week no one's gonna give it and by the way it's like the uh lakers uh uh the new home of the lakers is the crypto duck anyway yeah i'm a primary what if i it was revealed i'm a primary shareholder no i think it's uh i'm curious to see where all this cryptocurrency stuff ends because i had andreas antonopoulos on my podcast years ago when bitcoin was just like some thing that people talked about on the internet and i had no i was like well let's get a guy on and understand they so they call him bitcoin jesus and he came on and explained it to me and long ago andreas was paying all of his rent all his bills he was doing everything he did was through bitcoin so everything is he what a whole held on to that i think he does i think he has held on to it so that's probably super huge that's right in your room there how much is that worth well that is that's a digital piece of artwork from uh people and so that is not really an nft right it's just digital art okay there's an nft associated with it right to like explain it yes you're asking but so like there's a qr code if you see it sometimes is it because it changes screen what people's done is it like see that qr code i guess if you go there explains it to me i don't know i'm never gonna look at it but i love looking at the art and what people has done is what's really fascinating is he's actually putting together an uh an actual museum filled with things like this and larger ones too of digital artwork and the digital artwork changes it moves around it goes black and white it
zooms in and out like like you see here so it's cool to look at and it's a completely new kind of art because it's not just digital art in terms of like he made an image or he made a video but he's actually putting it in this form this really cool frame and he's yeah it it moves around while it captures your your your your mind and your eyes while you're watching it the colors change on it it's just dope it's so funny because it's like if you cut to 30 years ago it's called a flat screen tv do you i mean it's just the technology is like yeah and that's where i look at nfts and crypto and i'm like i do too maybe the window closed already i don't think so did it close i mean it's definitely not closed but you know we're not in on the ground floor and it's you know it's similar to the stock market right it's like but you you know we were talking about tesla it's like i remember when tesla was whatever x amount and i'm like yeah it's too expensive now it's like if i would have bought any it would have been i would have covered my kids college well you know people have those stories about apple getting out of apple early on and if they held it today they'd have 500 million dollars yeah just hurts your head just thinking about how about people that have had bitcoin in hard drives and then they threw the computer out there's a guy who's been digging through a landfill for eight years because in that landfill is a half a billion dollars worth of bitcoin wow yeah ouch yes dude's digging into a [ __ ] landfill he's got like a crew working for eight years to try to find a hard drive and who knows what kind of deteriorated state the hard drive is going to be in if he actually does find it wow and then it's a guy who told him that he goes oh did i say that landfill i meant that landfill he's got a bunch of union guys going just keep working slow just keep this [ __ ] what is the longest uh
episode you've done kevin smith probably was like five hours something like that we're at three hours so we should wrap this up but people will still enjoy it don't trustful that's what i thought it was how many did he do five hours five hours five minutes we're gonna do five hours five hours and 19 minutes let's wrap this up all right all right joe's like i gotta go home your uh new netflix special is available oh this is what i want to ask you you you've done something interesting before we wrap this up you uh you have experimented when netflix was like at the the leader of the pack where everybody wanted to do a netflix special you're like maybe i'll test the waters other places and you put them up in amazon what was that experience like it was good i mean i think that there is uh it's shifting going along with you know when stand-up you know when we started it was uh you know youtube didn't exist uh the the internet wasn't really a thing and so when i went to amazon and i also did one on demand uh it was good but like there is also an audience it's like finding an audience for this thing i mean i care about my special being seen and uh i think netflix is great i already have five other specials there so it was also you know it's you know it's your you know these specials you're like harvesting crops so it's there's different markets and so uh netflix is this huge monolith they they have such an appreciation for comedy which uh i think is a reflection of ted so they get it but you know there is part of me it's like in three years who knows we might be sitting here and um there might be some other outlet but yeah it was a great experience but i also like the fact that i'm coming to netflix
it's been a couple years so i'm kind of new you know like new is pretty important in the entertainment industry we all looked at you doing that like you were jumping onto a new ice shelf like look at him go yeah look at him out there i mean amazon there were a lot of i mean there's a lot of people that saw it it was a big risk i mean again and you know my amazon prime is still enormous yeah it's enormous it's huge think about like marvelous mrs maisel there's been huge in germany huge in india and um but you know i think stand up for the english-speaking world i think you know there's not much that can compete with netflix no it's the king yeah yeah that's the top of the food chain all right jim gaffigan you're the [ __ ] i appreciate you very much always fun to hang out with you thank you you should do this more often appreciate it uh that's it bye everybody [Music] [Applause] you