Video URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZzkkN1vMfo
[Music] hey we're up and running to the cuddle party hey comedy there we go yes so what are we calling this are we calling this protect our parks i think it will protect our parks we need a better we didn't do a good job protecting the last one what happened to the park it's gone 50 acres just a dirt pile now that's so crazy that they allowed them to do that they just do it they just totally did that you know nobody in the city voted for that not a single person i mean yeah [ __ ] evil man it's evil there's definitely a prison and there are high rises in no time what is the general consensus about the new mayor of new york oh it's bad already some people get mad i think it seems nice i saw people get mad up he says we had to protect the low-wage employees because he's like the people with dunkin donuts and he goes they're not educated they're not smart enough to be in a corner office and it was like what oh jesus point was protect them but but the way it said it was like what's that supposed to protect these morons but he's uh he's hired his brother and he gave him like 250 000 there you go his last job i think was parking cars oh really just whatever you can clear out of the middle that's a nice thing no that's that's what you want in your leader somebody who's willing to i don't want to i don't want a guy who wouldn't hook his brother up right i don't want a guy who shits on his brother that's what they said about cuomo though like watching your brother like what it's his brother what are you talking about i think it's the way he did it though right wasn't the cuomo thing he was using his influence to like gather information about his accusers and hmm that's a good bro that's good bro you're supposed to do that you're just supposed to shut the [ __ ] up about it not put it on gmail yeah oh you gotta go yahoo gmail is now drug dealers use no [ __ ] insurrectionists oh everybody
disappearing messages to the one year yeah to the year cheers a couple of them climbed that wall pretty good i mean it was impressive they were out of shape those are the feds yeah oh the ones that scaled it with the feds did you [ __ ] see the uh the thing where ted cruz is grilling that lady from the fbi and the asser the whole the whole runs the gamut of were federal agents involved we can't answer that were federal agents involved in in you know inciting violence or trying to we can't answer that yeah never you should always ask a follow-up question like uh is coke the same as sprite and i'm like no like okay that's your baseline right yeah what does that mean we can't answer this oh god who knows oh you we have a [ __ ] distinct lack of marijuana in this room uh oh we've made an error i'll be right back talk amongst yourselves oh you got something [ __ ] i got hit hard by that hurt sucker punched me with that i'll be able to change it talk amongst yourselves dude that was the other part he's a real [ __ ] i don't even watch the news i haven't seen any news stories since larry nassar you don't watch it it's so smart not to very nice it was a great i mean that was the peak you're like i'm done this is good i got enough watch the news what is there's nothing for me there somehow involved me too and sports was a good combo that's true that should be a sport me too yeah there's gonna be two olympics let's call uh what's that university penn state they're doing good was it penn state with sand dunes yeah yeah yeah they really let that other guy go huh the dead one you knew something he died like on the spot he got like lung cancer and died like right away he just was from misery from grief yeah he checked out i think it's a david tell
joke he's like but were they playing better yeah something like that they really did have a good deal i love sandusky he had in his backyard faced to kindergarten or something like that or a playground and he's like i just like to go out and watch the kids afterwards like wait don't do that he goes why god this pot is so much better without rogan oh man joking joking all right put it away he dosed you we were just talking about uh sandusky yeah i remember him oh yeah he was good is he a champion there's so many i think he's dead no well they're doing that now with with male prisoners who are transgender they're putting them in female prisons and these and a lot of them are like guilty of sexual assault and they're putting them in prison with females and all they got to do is say hey yeah it's a smart move i mean why wouldn't you do that well one one guy did and then immediately upon release started identifying as a man again dang i literally identify as a woman i give that guy some respect yeah i have respect well he game the system but the system is really [ __ ] stupid yeah it's such a dumb it's like what a dumb thing this identity politics has given us this ability for a sexual offender to just change their gender by saying i identify with a woman you keep your dick you don't have to get an operation hormone treatment should be some sort of test like getting like becoming a citizen should be able to know because women hate women integrity is that what it is no she goes we did it they were fighting or something no she was like we did it we had a whole run why are we revisiting this yeah have you seen the new season pretty pretty wild yo you see the stand-up scene in it oh no you gotta see it it's horrific it's like it's like 10 minutes long it's just the sex in the city's a stand-up there's a stand-up they go see a show she's trans yeah they see a trans woman do stand up right yeah or no i don't know if she's trans oh she's genderless
oh what prison do they go to so why are you saying she which is true they say you're true i apologize [ __ ] is wrong with you you're in trouble you got to learn the new rules bro if you want to operate in today's society what are you scared of weed i hate weed dude it's for genderless people i'm straight as hell dude oh i better not oh you do it no i can't i'll just hug my knees and and well it's not pretty good for four hours for them it's just me and you are [ __ ] i already got the glenn levitt cooking this good stuff right 18 years old not bad yeah so uh save our parks or cuddle party what's the consensus what else what else can we branch out a little bit fork hunts that's not bad the four [ __ ] of the apocalypse that's a good name for sex in the city let's see toxic non-gender specific yeah humans non-binary asexual queefs yeah i vote known creeps queefer you have what no name no name no prince we can't code name no names for us okay we should well you know what we could do we could just internally call ourselves different secrets we call ourselves all the time absolutely like our text message thread is now protect our parks which is strongly opposed he's not going to be able to strongly oppose today ari's idea which i like the best is cuddle party because you want to call it like the cancel crew or something i'm like oh leading into it [Music] with a are dorks all right we're getting somewhere oh yeah the anaheim mighty cups yeah was that the first time a sports team was ever named after a movie i think so the raptors also was right around then what was there around jurassic park you're right was it really yeah yeah do you know that raptors those raptors are really little they're not big like that like yeah yeah apparently stephen spielberg was consulting with a dinosaur
expert and he found out how little the raptors were he's like that's not gonna work we need him to be big yeah so he made him like seven feet tall but real raptor's like 24 inches tall they're like tiny little things interesting make sure that's true i don't think they're very big they're very ferocious they can open their littles yeah two feet tall clever girl yeah that's scary i saw that in the theater scared the [ __ ] out of me i was telling you the movie that was great in the theater when you saw the first dinosaur it's like unreal and stuff when the t-rex comes over the fence when you see the goat is missing and then the t-rex comes over the floor i was sad about that girl yeah yeah that [ __ ] sound that's awesome crazy a really tight title this is veronica's closet she was a big target for a while she came away and people were like still a big target who's the new fat person yeah that's how big they were they were little birds i gotta up my references the real reason velociraptor is so big in jurassic park yeah it's just it's just because steven's got lizzo oh there you go she was always she was always that maybe so he wasn't hateful that became well you know what's funny is when they're fat and then they lose weight and then everybody gets mad at them like adele yeah that is weird yeah the big girl you were our hero yeah you were us and now you're not you're another hot girl why did you put that burger down you [ __ ] [ __ ] cuck liddell i've been sitting on that for 20 minutes that's it's a funny thing when when people do better with their life and the people that love them don't go that's awesome i'm gonna do that too yeah but she can do it if adele can do it i can do it too i'll be honest i don't like it yeah i don't like it one bit why when i see somebody start dressing cool and being handsome you can't relate to them no i don't like that oh it's like they used to be fat then they started swimming down now that's what happens when you're fat and you lose weight you start dressing cool because you can finally wear clothes all right you don't have to wear a hoodie every day who's
who's done that give me an example seth wrote not seth rogen the other one in that clan in that group jonah hill jonathan jones he's never been high well he's more like a surfer now but he's jacked now jonah hill's in great shape yeah yes he fluctuates like a [ __ ] he's the white oprah well you know what i mean he was dealing with a lot of what he he thought was like body issues and he was you know just dealing with like being big and didn't like it and felt embarrassed and then finally [ __ ] did something about it and he dealt with it for a long ass time lost some weight gained it back but now he looks great he was great right he thought big was beautiful he was trying i'm not saying he's chunky but he posted something uh to stop talking he looks like hell he's terrible um i know you mean well but i kindly asked you not comment on my body good or bad i want to polite emoji you skipped [ __ ] i was trying not to throw up you know i want to politely let you know it's not helpful and it doesn't feel good much respect shane can you read that i want to hear that in your voice that's what i said dude this is all you need to see next time can you read this no don't comment on your shame body heart good or bad shane wants to politely big text here's your cell phone he's got the giant letters because he can't read he had his eyeballs lasik wears off like i didn't know you said shane could you read that i just ask you legitimately this is what he said he said could you read in your voice yeah oh he wanted me to read stop talking about my body he was taking a shot might be right i'm telling you might be right drastically lasik do not wear off however certainly normal aging changes inside the eye over time may affect your refractive stability for example if your eyes had been corrected for distance when you're younger when you get into your earlier mid 40s something called presby presbyopia will occur so you're [ __ ] you've got presbyopia and then you can't look at it you have
to look straight forward it's this far away from your eye and it looks and if you start moving around like stop stop moving stop moving it'll burn your retina yeah well they're about to uh start new therapies that involve bacteria they involve bacteria and injections into your eyeballs and these injections of bacteria um andrew huberman told me about this he's good he's brilliant and he was saying that they're they're essentially they believe they're going to be able to reverse the the the uh ocular degeneration that comes with aging and they think they're going to be able to do it for people that have like serious eyeball injuries too like maybe like michael bisping get hooked up when is that going to start i don't know they're doing trials but they're having uh very favorable results you ever gotten a jizz in your eye oh more than i can count my friend well i could see you're being facetious but it stings you never hit you really you never got a your own i'm sure i have but it's probably been when i don't remember in the eyeball yeah i was laying on my back yeah straight up right and got me on the girl i was like really got a kick out of it it happened to me recently she laughed all night what happened to me recently i stared right down the barrel of it for some reason [Laughter] it happened in afghanistan that's a good name it could be al-qaeda al-qaeda's not bad or al-gheda al-qaeda that'll be quickly turned into al-qaeda well that was the point yeah yeah i like it al-qaeda i like algae okay see you later alligator was too much fun already it came in crenshaw's eye no he came in his own eye i'm saying no he was in the huts you get bored i heard that i read that i read that in jezebel that's what he did yeah wait so they held him down and he did it himself he was just jerking it he was just like he killed time in the desert and he hit himself in the eye get
himself in the air yeah oh [ __ ] one of them got me guys yeah there's no doctor out there so he had to lose the eye he was waiting who's bored before beheading what's like legitimately the worst injury you've ever heard someone jerking off sustained whoo some people have broken their dick but that's from like a girl's riding yeah you can bend your dong i think knoxville's dick is broken you were telling us last night yeah he broke his dick on a stunt with a rocket yeah give it a good jamo i got no dick man a guy with no dick he's pretty upbeat do you like fish sticks come on leave me alone i got no dick man i heard my dick oh that was rough season three looks great knoxville how i broke my face there you go wow dude he came through my college filming dukes of hazard yeah he [ __ ] every gal there was a chlamydia strain all over lsu look at this i have a big scar running here to here he says innocuously pointing an index finger between his legs up to his crotch where he famously tore his urethra in 2007 while paying tribute to stunt god evel knievel you know i never even thought to look at the scar until six weeks ago i found a stand up mirror i got out of the shower and check out the scar and it's a terrible angle to look at yourself in damn wow is he okay now though no i think he got he's got the pump like this ever since he says um oh what does it say here can you read that other questions favorite crotch shot so he says he broke his dick but did they fix it maybe they fixed his dick i'm hoping they fixed it i don't know but his hair is white now uh it's like a dog's chew toy down there now he said it looks like a sock that's lost its elasticity oh my god it left him using a catheter twice a day there you go looks like a sock that lost its elasticity damn this is a bummer yeah i think that they're saying that they left a music catheter twice a day back then does that mean i hope he's okay now call in knoxville oh no hold on let's go back up it says
years after the incident that sent him to surgery and left him using a catheter twice a day i think they mean during the recovery yeah yeah yeah okay he must be all right then oh god i hope so it's a good conversation starter when hitting on a girl you know my dick used to be broken and now it works it's revised yeah but it'll be right like a house with a [ __ ] up foundation you know if a house got a big crack in the foundation like no we brought guys they said it's fine yeah don't you want to buy it he's like no i'm not buying this [ __ ] house what's up with that foundation yeah what if the earth moves what's gonna happen with tim dillon's house is that up for sale or does he still own that well he's looking at another one out here right now come on he's just no butter he's uh he's buttering your bread with that no he's smart he's investing money the real estate business out here is fantastic why'd he leave save one get another one ah okay you know keep one so sell it sell the second one gotta have one for the twinks yeah one for the twins i got the underside the underside of my dog got sliced once what yeah understand what happened yeah i was going from behind on a lady don she was touching herself also because i wasn't helping so i was an experienced my dong fell out yeah and connected on a fingernail when i went forward again and it hurt but you know i was i was making whoopee so i kept going look at me i kept trying to go and she was like she was like no i could feel like i got i got skin on that and i was like no i'm fine i pulled out and looked at it opened my hand and it was just gushing and i was like oh it was over but what went into the bathroom that's how you get aids it's uh blood uh-huh yeah no but she's gotta bleed in your blood your body doesn't accept blood like that she's also generally generally pumps out is that an interesting story if she's menstruating that's blood on blood yeah but it's not getting in your body they think that one of the ways that uh people initially got hiv and this is very controversial but they think there
was guys that were you know bush meat is a thing in africa where they'll essentially shoot and kill anything and sell it as meat because food scares so yeah they'll occasionally do that to chimpanzees they'll shoot chimps and sell chimp meat and eat chips yeah it's like the wuhan and they think that through cutting a monkey or a gorilla or some chimp some sort of primate they got the blood on the knife and cut their finger and yeah this is just i think this is just speculation they don't i don't think they necessarily have a patient zero in aids i'm sticking with [ __ ] the monkey [ __ ] i like that that's what i was saying rip your dick off like a celery stalk [ __ ] in the morning it's hard to beat a [ __ ] monkey it would be pretty hard it's just as funny as it's funnier than eating a bat but eating eating a bat is very funny well they they have them in the soup yeah they eat wild it's wild to see like a bag floating around in a soup yikes yikes like a drowning moth hey man when you're [ __ ] hungry you'll eat a lot of things and then on top of that if you're culturally accustomed to certain things they don't become weird not like oysters oysters are [ __ ] gross to a lot of people it's a good point but for us we're like ah slurp yeah that looks better than oysters i'll tell you that oh i love oysters i do too but that way is that the ribs of the bat what is that oh that's like healing that's an eel thing octopus and [ __ ] that's not bad octopus is delicious that's soup i don't like that [ __ ] octopus are [ __ ] smart it's kind of weird to eat them they are smart you see that octopus teacher documentary yeah pretty great that guy clearly wanted to [ __ ] that he falls in love with the octopus he was trying to [ __ ] that octopus yeah he lost like his family over didn't he wasn't he like trying to [ __ ] octopussy you know john lily was doing uh they had a whole uh program doing dolphin research they were trying to teach dolphins how to talk and the dolphins kept getting distracted
they were horny um so uh this lady would just jerk off the dolphins yeah participate in the study wow and they found out about they're like that's a wrap for your study you can't be jerking people off i feel like you're a win for the dolphins dude there's a guy who was [ __ ] dolphin who loved me nasa funded project that went wrong margaret lovatt the 1960s was part of a nasa-funded project to communicate with dolphins soon she was living with peter 24 hours a day in a converted house so like the house was like waist high and water christopher reilly reports an experiment that went tragically wrong tragic because she had to come no he got to come and they killed they killed the project because they found out she was jerking off the dolphin they should have the dolphins are crazy horny they should have killed the dolphins you gotta kill the rape you gotta kill the dolphins they'll spread it to the rest of the population if they get out finger that blowhole here's when i watched a video a guy was going out and [ __ ] a dolphin he said he was going into the ocean and [ __ ] dolphins wow well dolphins definitely [ __ ] you yeah they've tried to [ __ ] people they try to drown men if you're with a hot chick by the bathing suit and drag you down oh my god yeah is that real yeah that's what happened to natalie wood wow what are the lakers that happened to him too she just went off one of the lakers a dolphin tried to drive he was downgrading like iggy was the woman white and was the dolphin racist whatever iggy azalea is i think it's izzy's cheese which is it no it's is it not flipper if you pop hey pop nick young dolphin tried to kill me whoa i already heard this when i read that story he strolled into the laker uh lakers locker room on tuesday the staples center a little more than an hour before tip off their 106 to 96 loss to denver nuggets he said where does it say he said he's scared of dolphins he goes he's playing with everybody else doing what dolphins do the act act and all that young said it was my time he said it was my time to ride the dolphin for some reason he took
me all the way to the bottom he was trying to drown me but i saw it happening i jumped out of the water and took off the little life vest and threw off my little water shoes and stayed outside that's a little dramatic i think this guy just couldn't swim yeah that's a little dramatic because uh they have like killer whales have tried to drown people and when they they get stuck in those [ __ ] sea world type places oh yeah they'll grab a trainer and drag him and pin him to the bottom of the ocean rather he was a little friendly kissing her and stuff he was trying to make my take my woman that's funny maybe he was black i think i think i heard it before i saw this blackfish group that's us no no i'm saying that's a movie but that's a movie about orcas swaggy p what about this bushmeat boys the bushmeat boys yeah and we could take a field trip and go out and get some go go get aids let's start a new aids you know david cho the artist yeah yeah david cho went to um uh with with the hazza where where was that what part is tanzania i think it was tanzania he went and hunted baboons they they eat baboons and he goes it's [ __ ] up he goes because when the baboon gets hit with the arrow he grabs it like a person they're [ __ ] terrifying he's really [ __ ] up they dress like a baboon so this is cho no i don't know what they're doing is there a gopro on it dogs are chasing the baboons look at that this is a guy i would never want to do this so they these these folks they eat everything right but they have less game in the area where they live they never used to be there before so they find themselves eating a lot of primates man that guy's living huh david david so david cho is so [ __ ] interesting because the guy's worth like an a stupid amount of money is he oh yeah stock and it turned out to be worth a [ __ ] cajillion dollars but meanwhile he's the kind of guy that is that rich and goes and hangs out with the hanzo and lives with them and hunts with them i love the guy in the bourdain dock yes oh you know you hate that guy i didn't like him
painting over the mural i don't like anybody that's artsy he's very good artistic what are you telling me dude joe's gonna watch this and be pissed he's gonna watch this i hate him too i'm with you well that was him if you guys know i love him how dare you joe rogan no i watched his he had a show on vice i think uh yeah some of it bothered me he did vice guide to travel when he went through africa looking for a dinosaur because there's those are extinguishers of the sightings of i think it's a pleisiasaur that's an or maybe a brontosaur that's in some part of the congo and so he like literally went looking through the congo to try to find uh a dinosaur but i think he was like [ __ ] 20 years old when he did that was nobody [ __ ] him dude the guy's wild david's wild he's just very open about like his psychology which i don't like do you think he's got a pods ago yeah he's like the reason i [ __ ] so much is because my childhood was this or i don't know you don't like to hear that you just want him to keep about you just say i like [ __ ] yeah [Laughter] you don't have to pretend to be this guy impressive he's an artist i know he is you don't get it bud light drinking son of a [ __ ] but like nobody's going to tell you he's all american also it doesn't look good you hating an asian i know that's why i'm trying to backpedal [Laughter] bring it back bring it back you know you cut your dick i cut my sack open on a fence saw my ball oh no oh my god you saw your ball in college got really drunk at a party started making out with this girl on the couch her boyfriend sees me he's like we're going outside i was like all right let's go with him and then he's like bobby jimmy mike all these guys came out of the woodwork so i was alone so i just jumped this fence straddled it couldn't make it all the way over fell over the other side i was hanging by my jeans the jeans ripped they're all laughing ran home passed out woke up sack was torn blood everywhere had to get it stitched up
what yeah i'd wear a jock strap for a month and then i had to get the stitches removed okay that guy owned you dude he really did it was bad no no no no you won that lady yeah i had to start wearing a cup and jiu jitsu because uh someone was passing my guard and he slammed his knee into my dick and it hurt like hell at the time but i thought it was okay and then i went into the locker room and my jock strap was filled with blood oh so blood had been coming out of the tip of my dick while i was training so i was training and because you just get so used to getting banged up right so then i go home and i'm trying to think okay do i go straight to the doctor or do i treat it like a bloody nose because if it was a bloody nose i would just go what am i what are they gonna do yeah but i've heard of bloody noses right now you've heard of a bloody dick yeah so what did i do well i went home and i jerked off sure it still worked it's gonna be all over this still works jack's off well that's what i did i wanted to get better advice from a guy who said jerk off yeah your dick is bleeding but it was bleeding from the inside so i was like well what are they gonna do to fix it they're not going to put a bandage on the inside how'd the whack off go it was fine but it looked like a like a chicken fetus you know like you ever get a egg that has a baby chick inside of it that's what my jizz looked like it was just red and white it was chaos jesus it was basically like a little chicken abortion it was um it was but it worked and so i was like okay we'll try again tomorrow so i tried again tomorrow and there was a little less blood the second day very little blood the second day was it was still a little pink but it wasn't scary the first day was like whoo seeing my jock strap filled with blood i was like yikes yeah but i was like but if that was my nose i would just stuff some tissue up a bit and keep moving up here what are they gonna do i'm like what is it what i looked at it like there's no cut i'm like so something inside broke a little bit put a splinter
it's fine you're all good it's all good i made kids with it but i was thinking that like something happened like during the slam like any other kind of trauma like uh like you know you get a cut in your face or something what do you do you just let it heal yeah yeah you got smushed blood out there me [ __ ] it smooshed but it can you that was my response that's how dumb i am my response was to see if i could jerk off well it kind of worked it works i i did the same with the slice stone did you wash it off did it not whack off just jerk off around it you know you just hit the tip yeah don't mess with the hammer that's what i did with the jock strap you know you still still gotta whack did you have to when you got it stitched up did you have to like wear anything there like a diaper or something i well first of all you stuck a needle in my sack to novacane that was a nightmare seeing a giant needle going your sack is is pretty eye opening and then i watched them stitch it we're talking about you know hey how about those tigers and then i had to wear a jock strap for a month and then go get them taken out wow brutal college man did you ever run into that guy again no no never really thank god never that's a big school i think he ever watches you on netflix and goes ah i wonder if i wasn't happy i [ __ ] my wife probably it was all they ended up working out imagine if it worked out with them and you know they got back together because of your trauma hey there you go and then they started dating sex when they walked in just to make out on a couch but really like so bad going at it i had a handful of boob and everything she probably told him and that's why he came over it's one of those i'm over six four one of them drama queens yeah it got ugly there was a lot of fighting in college college was scary so is high school yeah high school boys once they they develop strength and their [ __ ] frontal lobe hasn't really developed yet they're they're very dangerous colleges live at home too so like living really like adults it was just morons did you go to jew high school i did go
to high school what happened there a lot of fights are a lot of litigation a lot of threats a lot of you know what my dad is for sure litigation i never got physical much but the weather was good that's cool oh my god litigation you learn how to control the weather in third period yeah what'd you guys learn in there all sorts of stuff learn how to control the weather i don't know 911 plans you guys planned it yeah oh 9 11. you know how to turn a suit back hey shane tell everybody what we were talking about before this because it is i can't believe that this happened but his video got pulled off of youtube because he simply said that when he had coveted he just drank beer i said that the way i beat covid was i just drank beer that's all i was doing that's all i said and it and it worked and i was healed yeah funny and that was i was just explaining exactly what happened and the episode got taken down from matt and shane's secret podcast oh the whole episode got taken care of it got deleted how [ __ ] insane that is like six months later it's so silly yeah imagine how much that is they're going through old podcasts just got hit with one from six months ago he told me they gave him a strike he can't post to his account right now oh i'm gonna lose all sorts of stuff i know it's just like what are you doing like why what's the point like you're looking at what these guys are saying like what is this is fun it's like no one's getting hurt from any of this yeah if anybody's getting inf like this is the whole thing it's like you're not supposed to have like coveted uh misinformation or anything that doesn't go along with the lines you're giving some instructions but that's not what you're doing you're talking [ __ ] if anybody was like well i was gonna get vaccinated but then i saw shane and he drank beer so i'm like i'm gonna [ __ ] drink beer too bro yeah like is that really no is that a real thing well i got lucky it was nothing i got covered and it was nothing so i just drank beer imagine that's enough but this is like is this what are these kids that are doing this or is this an algorithm
but they go further and further like any touch of it is like that's all he did but he's totally true that's why i said i got vaccinated and i yeah i admitted to being gay but silencing it kind of brings more attention to it i think now we're all talking about it well it should because that's the only way to combat it because otherwise then they get control of the narrative completely and then no one can say anything that's even remotely dangerous i think it's just guys i think it's just ais that are like operations straight up what they think is missing here's why you're wrong what did you do wrong because it stands up to appeal they they appeal i know it means everything ever try to appeal the go nah which means like no one's even looking at this going no no no no no we've appealed things and they've come through they look at your stuff but someone wants to stuff i think if you have a good i think it's all who's your [ __ ] person right if there's a thousand people that do this or a million people that do this they're all subjective they all have their individual ideas about things about what's acceptable and what's not hmm i mean i'm sure they have guidelines but there's clearly some wiggle room all right yeah so if they can get someone to actually look at it when you get like uh would kill tony get strikes because of like you can't explain to someone when i get a bullying charge for betty white it's like right no one's looking at this betty what happened to betty white right you blew it up she's gone man she's out of the golden girls reunion she died she probably got the booster afghanistan yeah imagine second tour the booster takes you out at 99 like you can't even say it being 99 years old with me like i bet i got to get this boost yeah she was like but i had to deal with the devil this podcast is down now yeah this podcast is down for that just for that last listen there's not if you're 99 and listening to spotify get the booster 99 year old say that knows how to use spotify's doing pretty good yeah yeah they're rare you imagine imagine just picking up the internet when you're 70 yeah right it's this world 70 and all of a sudden you're in chat rooms talking
[ __ ] yeah you know getting laid 70 you're sharing memes yeah do you think it's like a vietnam vets chat room right right shot each other's throats he got a reddit thread yeah in 70 you started twitch channel start talking [ __ ] while you're playing video games well they are twitching 106 year old philadelphia woman is a big fan of big mac this is yeah this is more hurtful to people's health that's been saying like maybe the vax is dangerous i know that that should be medical misinformation like she said it kept her free of disease that's back when big back started but they're made with actual meat she credits junk food for her long life her granddaughter said that maybe her lengthy lifespan has to do with the nine gin soaked raisins she ate every day too crazy what kind of a weirdo lady is this yeah what a victorian refugee what's that this is not eating junk food oh not eating junk food but cheeseburgers i know that's right the [ __ ] does that mean she's a liar she's got dementia that's that's what kept her alive dementia but uh who the [ __ ] is like is that a thing the the the vodkas soaked raisins yeah something like that is that a real thing queen elizabeth a couple gin and tonics a day says that's her thing but gin soaked in soaked raisins that seems so crazy 105 year old man look at that 105 year old englishman had a whiskey in his tea every morning see this is the thing if you're one of those guys that's like you know what i'm just gonna stay alcohol-free cheers gentlemen i'm gonna stay alcohol free i get my blood work done even when i drink a little bit i'm okay you just gotta take care of yourself yeah moderate yeah moderation and take care of yourself exercise moderation diet but what look at check out your liver hey jamie those last two pictures those two uh people stories the old people how many of them are dead now oh they're all right how old was this article 100 today the 106 year old lady was 117 year old lady is that a real person where are we 117 year old french nun whose secret is red wine and 100 year old san francisco
woman who was fond of non-traditional bedtime snack of one beer and three potatoes booze she sucks funny though that like three potato chips like my mother says if we get happy when we hear about someone who like lives a long life like that like wow but if you had to live their life you'd be like take it yeah she said i've gone she survived without her eyes she survived she also hates oh my god she survived oh she's possessed she's possessed she just can't see you guys are [ __ ] oh that's you in 10 years look at that nose that's about right yeah for real that's not far your lasix is going to wear off that's the one thing where nature tries to keep you from [ __ ] old people as they get older their nose grows bigger and their ears grow bigger yep they're like two things that no one's going to like bigger let's make them grow their balls get longer ears like they're the best oh look at that look at those earlobes she got jizz in the eye she's a nun wow all these pictures she looks like she's coming but the problem is somebody's wiping that ass for every happy ending story with these old people somebody's wiping her ass jesus wipes her ass there's gonna come a point in time where they're gonna be able to reverse aging it's not far off like david sinclair this guy from harvard who's been on my podcast a few times they're working on it and they they've got to the point where they can pull it back a little like he's 52 he looks like he's 40. and i'm not exactly go backwards instead of forwards yes wow he's he's essentially 10 years younger than that i'll be your test group you're too old start with my head coming up right february 12th yeah his physical age his biological age is 10 years older than his actual age or his nose biological age is 10 years younger than his uh calendar age it's good for jared fogle get me young imagine not that young but imagine if you got to the point where you could go back to maturity back to like 21 25 years old because i think they're going to be able to do that but
with old people they still going to have long ears so like people people are going to know like would you do [ __ ] which is like nothing i'm [ __ ] you know it's my first time around because we would probably get mad if like 400 year old people were [ __ ] 30 year olds because 30 year olds are so dumb they're so easy they're so dumb they're a tenth of you yeah try getting a 400 year old lady to join your cult good luck we can't have this many people i don't like it no we gotta all die well after if people start living forever we have to murder some people to clear it out yeah when you get to like a certain age like do you think you want gonna want to cash in your chips no i want to keep going if i can reverse i'm gonna die before it's even yeah you'll die a heart disease you might not make it till 2025 that's fine all right you gotta go out good you got a good special what do you hear do you want to go how old do you know 34. what do you like to get to 85 85 is good yeah i'll get to 60. when you're 59 you're going to want to go to 80. of course when you're 116 you're going to go to 117. it's like no dude [ __ ] she's she's like i read about this [ __ ] that brings you back call it call it that she's just dreaming one day this can't be real i just looking at old the oldest people you know yeah it says this guy's 146 moles right in the center how come it can't be real another black guy so the thing is he's lying who who believes those eyes are dead like they don't work anymore he's a full mommy there's a dog that had that when he died well he looks like he opened the ark of the covenant this is a shitty country that needs this for publicity click on that link so we can read it i think that might be real see here's the thing man if somebody can live to be 20 then it's not outside of possibilities that someone could live to be 20 years old in 1870 is it real japanese is it really me before electricity that's flavor flav well how do you actually real though it could be tortoise he does look like a tortoise it also says he claims they don't indonesia i told you i told you he claims to be the oldest person that ever lived and celebrated but maybe he's
tonight they said it's accurate the indonesian records yeah yeah they found a coconut that it was scrolled into right it was right after krakatoa you don't even know anything about that look at his face that's the super volcano right look at this stuff big gameplay thank you he began preparing to die 24 years ago wow he's dead now yeah this is a couple years old look at that that's crazy wow gross what's the the thing about when they get that old you don't really know if they still have hair too is krakatoa the one where it brought the entire human population down to like 7 000 people that was covered no which one was that toba toba yeah is that uh indonesia what was it what was toba indonesia same recent history was 1883 though i got that that's what i'm saying he was alive for christ there was an indonesian one that was real recently wasn't there an indonesian volcano that was real recent like not not catastrophic but i think there was another corruption real recently what about wise krakatoa i really want to name this group well ice cracker that was pretty good i'm gonna get a couple of drinks i'll like your ideas here that's the other thing about the internet instagram i say fatty to people and they keep deleting it can't even say fatty because they call it bullying even though they call it home family and they were like nah that's where it started wait you know what invade his family if you didn't get my records back what are you gonna do i think they took you off they were like yeah how are you gonna space trouble oh i guess thinking they're late at night and do what to his family he's got dogs keep them doing what they're doing right now he's got big dogs bird has mastiffs no that's that's pretty scary do you have any idea what that would do to your teeth those dogs do not like you guys jesus shepherds you're thinking about german
shepherds all dogs that's why they go to heaven because they hate jews because they're doing jesus's work oh jesus cause you've had too many ways could have don't be starting on german shepherds yeah do they oh well not the gay ones the gay dogs if you're out there listening and you're going to get a german shepherd as a pet you better be willing to work with that dog you got to you got to exercise that dog take it on runs do things with it you can't just leave a dog like that in the yard they'll go crazy and we know you're not willing to do that work yeah so don't look at that michael van gaal get a little poodle [ __ ] no michael vick worked those boys did he was like the hell out of it they were fighting dogs were probably having a little bit of fun you should have seen his record oh yeah 86 and 14. his record yeah he was like great you know what's [ __ ] up he's in the hall of fame of dogfighting i gotta get some new references there's this like a silent group of people that are involved in dog fights that have been involved in dog fights for a long time and that sort of exposed what that whole community is all about because there's a lot of dog fighting going on in parts of this country there's a guy that i knew um i know him but he at one point in time used to fight dogs and he lived in somewhere in the south i forget which state and he had these dogs that were on chains and the chains would go out to a small dog house and the chains were far enough so that each dog couldn't get at the other dog and they they that's how they he kept them he just kept him in this yard and he put them on heavy chains so they worked out and they walked around with these heavy chains on and he would have them on dog treadmills they have dog treadmills for pit bulls jesus they get them in shape and then they have uh they name the dog after the bloodline so it's a champion's bloodline so if there's just one dog that was it sounds awesome about killing all these other dogs they would name him so it's like you know if you had a name like if you if you were bucky and you know it'd be like bucky's
son or you know grandson of grand champion this and they have this like sort of underground community and when michael vick got busted it sort of exposed that to a lot of people that you know especially a lot of people that are urban folks that don't know anybody who would even be involved in dog fighting the name of our group urban folks if you're living in a big city you probably don't get to see too many dog fights but if you're in rural parts of the south it's it's a big money thing it's like i had a uh gardener who was in a chicken fighting he would fight yeah he'd fight roosters i went to one of those it's wow vicious vicious i wouldn't want puerto rico it's in a pit you're all standing with money shaking for them it's it's a part of their culture and he said and then you know the winner gets to make soup out of the loser oh so if your bird wins even with your burn weights your bird's gonna get [ __ ] up it's probably gonna sliced up pretty good yeah oh yeah they'd take the one that died they'll [ __ ] cook them in a nice soup they they heal up the what if they're still like okay they still don't sew up a yeah that chicken's a little raptor that's what that is oh yeah and then weird to think of that's not that much smaller than what a real rapper if the urban folks that were fighting the dogs would just dress like a matador every all the honkies would be okay with it they just stood it down like they were just wearing some dumb goofy well if they had some tradition well then it's okay stabbing a bull with a sword well they're trying to get rid of that bullfighting at least a chance to kill you but they stab it with like eight spears it just keeps going keep stabbing and they stab them before they let them out yeah quite a bit before yeah they don't just let them out i think they tie the sack that's how they get them angry that's the bullet right that's right who's riding sorry the wildest [ __ ] is those
dudes who stand there and wait for the bulls to charge them and they flip rodeo clowns jump up in the air and flip i've never seen that rodeo guns no no they're not robot it's like a type of bull fighting but they they literally are acrobats who leap over the bowls as they charge what so the bulls charge them and they do flips they're their own like like well they don't do the killing they just jump through the air and do back flips over bulls but the thing is they don't always do it right and every now and then the ball wins it looks like a car wreck and then you gotta have that you gotta have that oh yeah you know those like when people wear those bubbles here it is whoa look at this guy whoa it's like a limbo oh he got clipped there okay this oh my god the leaping of the bulls yeah so this guy's doing a front flip oh he's putting his head right away that's a fair fight no weapons that's a very fair fight uh this is this is better than that guy's wild cortez that is a wild dude wow and he has to really be careful because that thing goes in his lungs he's trying to oh you get points depending on how close you are look oh they have a technique to lean backwards like that yeah he says i don't see the bull as my enemy more like my friend like [ __ ] no no this is uh this is humane yeah oh it's the most humane oh so they have a team with points i still like stabbing it they score points look at these guys they're on the same page what about what about the guys who get in that clear bubble ball that's what i was saying oh they're great did you watch it or you're just saying you're cutting me off yeah they're amazing you know what's still a bubble is the sheer amount of bubbles you run into each other with oh yeah yeah and they get bulls to run yeah what's crazy is the distance they travel when a bull hits them yeah if they really fly they go like like if you kicked it yeah i want to go to see one of these live now you don't [ __ ] those are smaller ones those are small
ones i've seen bigger ones those are [ __ ] dangerous because your your knees can get torn apart oh there it is and then they get stomped on too coming in they're sticking me out coming out oh yeah your legs are your legs are totally out that's terrible if they stomped on your knee you're done you're done forever you're done forever look at this guy trying to run away he's a little wobbly he's he's like you got me on that you got me boo meanwhile he's he's keeping that bubble on even though he can't run with it on wow this is so dumb man with cobra we're gonna be wearing these oh my god and that thing took him right that's great we got to go to one of these live he's right at oh he's going right back he's coming right back press play it's appalling he's not wearing a mask this is so you give that poor bill covered wow this is great i love it those are the jackets no this is like special olympics this is jackass did this yeah they did bro this is so dumb oh my god it's so dumb oh man that's terrifying oh my god who thought of this so bad this is not a like a jackass did that in their movie and they all got paid like you know a lot those guys are doing it for like drink tickets yeah right i get two [ __ ] bush lights after this yeah we'll pay for your parking just get over here i had this dude on fear factor that was a bull rider and his shoulder was completely destroyed he had scars like all over his shoulder from just just getting it ripped trying to hang on or falling to the ground one or the other i don't know which which arm it was yeah it was [ __ ] but you know he was like yeah i can't do anything if i lift my arm up funny it pops out was it worth it i don't know i mean the there's a whole culture behind probably those bull riders are good they're a different kind of human we'd go to the rodeo now as a kid what is this oh this is one of the classic three
his dick was still working there i love how he stands in though oh my god this guy's got balls literally he's the man bull's getting ready that could be considered blackface now by the way i know my god he's standing in he's standing in while this bull is stevo's nervous oh jesus the bull doesn't seem to know what to do like it's confused when it sees the wall they only see red right oh i don't know if that's real oh oh oh geez all right that wasn't so bad you don't want to fall from five in the air he could be paralyzed all right look at him he's got a target on his back dude you know uh little touches for jackass yeah they're the greatest franchise in history i didn't realize how good they were until i went to europe and everybody there loved them oh they're great i was like yeah no no no do you see what the [ __ ] you just said oh my god now you're turning on me dude i thought this was guy's clan it's the bushmeat boys i thought this was [ __ ] dude's clan or whatever the bushmeat boys how much of a nightmare was fear factor um to do it was well we did a bull riding thing once and during the bull riding there was there's only two times in the history of the show where i told him don't do it i said don't do this don't do it and that was a big one they go well this guy was a stunt guy those stunt guys are they're [ __ ] they're different humans yeah they're so used to getting hurt they're so used to like just being brave and taking wild chances but the stunt guy literally said this to me he goes ah don't worry about it boo those are stunt bulls i go stunt bulls like goes that bull know he's a stunt bull i bet he thinks he's a [ __ ] bull what are you talking about this thing was like 2 000 pounds and it's in the cage bang bang bang they strapped a 98 pound girl to that thing that's like you guys are out of your [ __ ] strapped a lady to a rodeo you have to understand this show wasn't being done before this so it was like brand new that they would put people up for anything on tv i know but a woman on
there is crazy we always have women on the show doing wild [ __ ] but this lady almost got kicked in the face she goes flying in the air and as she's flying in the air the bull like kicks back and as the bull kicks back this is her and the bull kicks back so she almost got jacked she's in the worst t-shirt watch this she's tiny but watch when the when she gets thrown off and she lands completely yeah so she lands look how far she lands and she almost gets kicked in the face it kicked her up oh my goodness it kind of did hit the back of her head right and she landed completely flat on her back by the way if she landed on her head this could have been a horrific injury she's laughing that's how betty white went but that was just dumb luck that she landed on her back and this is what i said i said to the guys afterwards i said we rolled the dice yeah that's me look at this it's pretty hot so are you by the way i was sweet back then but this whole whole show was like they kept ramping it up over and over and over again so it was two times the second time they made people drink jizz and that was the time the show got cancelled oh yeah yeah they played horseshoes and uh the even if you've got a ring if you ring it with the horseshoe you still ought to drink jizz how to drink less jizz because they kept ramping it up like females have the advantage there because they've eaten jizz before you're you are a homophobic dude so look at this this never aired in america sucks for you it's never in america but it did air overseas is it human jizz no it's oh that tastes good it's donkey jizz and donkey piss oh come on so they were twins wait i don't know hold on what was a black guy i say this was this your idea was it kind of hot to watch those girls drink some juice no it was done now we're gonna watch deceiving our kelly would you drink the piss of the jizz i would check the jizz well that's the girl's drinking the pisces first you gotta drink piss dude what are you doing
dude no this this is i was supposed to be drunk on tv how many edibles are you on here oh i was high as [ __ ] i was high for every episode after episode four please get one have you guys tasted pisces the jizz all over the pit it's hard to keep things i like how they're plugging the nose that's hilarious i've hit that really hard the texture of jizz not just the texture just a texture of a quart of jets [Music] me oh yeah dude trust me they were doing this this never aired but the point is this did get the green light from oh yeah look at her mascara i've seen that porn how dare you dude this is brutal it's brutal so this is a real show and uh actually freeze frame this is hot right there it's just hot look it's got all the chips on television the 90s baby no this was in the 90s 2011. no yes this is reason dude listen to me listen to me this is when i feel like this is when the fear factor came back we came back for like six episodes and then it got canceled look at the other girl game recognizes game she's like lady nice nice chain wallet nerd thank you chain wallet it was a nice one oh that donkey's having a good time chilling i will say dude look at that chain wallet look at that look at that chain show her jamie what do you want you know it sucks dude oh man it's comfortable [Laughter] i mean being high for that must have been [ __ ] insane it was hot every show was high if you were here it was always insane because well i did it i was bored for like the first four episodes i was like oh my god what have i signed up for and i thought oh like this is going to get cancelled this is so crazy so it was like but when you're high then it's like become so preposterous right and everything was preposterous and then also i felt like a lot of empathy towards the people told when i was high i wanted them to do well i feel like it helped me it helped me
coach to root for them yeah it did it helped me coach them and help me pump people up because there's some times where you can you can change a person like when they're about to do something you can pump them up right you really can especially if it's not something that's going to kill them like you just just go listen you know you can [ __ ] do and then just that that vote of confidence and just giving them a perspective just force yourself to do it just decide that this is what you're gonna do don't give yourself an out don't give yourself self any options just do it and you can do it i know you can do it and you'll feel better about yourself if you quit right now you're going to feel like a [ __ ] for the rest of your life donkey jizz and then donkey jizz you talked him into something terrible this is like casting couches some what everybody uh the problem was everybody had to do these stunts and only one person would want to win the one in this case twins so they didn't end up winning the match two guys uh don't remember they should win i hope they won dude i hope those twins are doing well where are they now i love those girls you got more jizz in their stomach than rod stewart wow remember that rumor oh yeah he has a good stomach yeah about little kim too that's right sweet little kid the richard was the biggest of all time that one spread like wildfire wow it was viral before viral i grew up in boston eddie bravo grew up out here in california we both heard about new orleans we heard it i mean it made it through the country it's still going it's this is my this is just a theory uh but he was in scientology no that's yeah and when he left they were like yeah oh really that doesn't mean it's fake that's the reason it came out it could be because they got it they released it but it was real i think it's more like he uh they were shaming him it might have been gerbil fetuses or something but it didn't happen they must declaw it because the anal cavity true guys have definitely done it and they probably did
it after hearing that rumor that was probably the first guy to do it yeah you do you stuff went in like a bulletproof condom you see the south park with him getting lost in there yeah let me just mr was it mr slate you know what sucks though is being the type of guy that that rumor would stick to like here it came out like somebody being like yeah that's something you would do yeah hold on but it was such a weird specific choice you believed it it was so specific that like i believe i believe it yeah after like the gigolo movie and an officer and a gentleman like too many women wanted to [ __ ] them yeah so that everybody do you guys remember when he tried to go on stage in madison square garden after 9 11 and say we all just need to give love oh my god he got booed he got booed so hard he he tried to give his his buddhist philosophy to a bloodthirsty group of revenge hungry new yorkers the ones who were just beating up indian people at the time yeah that's right those were the days yeah i got a couple of turbans it sucks cause technically it was right we all need to give love do that dude yeah calm down that gerbil [ __ ] went out there with a very nice peaceful message yeah love and those dumb wops and jews from new york couldn't handle it what about the irish we all do that stuff we're not worried about the blacks the irish don't complain about those things a few woke irish guys who write poetry james joyce yeah they they drink potatoes yeah the other guy we mean they drink and pretend they're decent against the island but some some irish people are annoying are you allowed to say up the raw on spotify that's that's i'm 25 irish i'm 25 percent annoying which might explain something tributed uh to stallone okay gear was originally cast in the lords of flatbush but he and stallone didn't get along shocker so stallone had gear fired ha ha in the years since giron stallone's grudge has been well documented which
might explain while some have attributed the gerbil story to stallone but stallone himself has claimed that gear is responsible for stallone's reported involvement in the lore richard was given his walking papers from the lord of flatbush and to this day he seriously dislikes me sly said ain't it cool news in 2006 they were doing this he even thinks i'm the individual responsible for the gerbil rumor not true but that's the room yeah probably put a dribble in his ass or something so when did that rumor start what year do you think that gerbil ruins late 80s is that an article about the gerbil ruler yeah yeah it's all about it it's interesting that's the magazine oh no what is it melma magazine yeah oh never heard of it no i've been hey sam kenneth's talking about it let me hear this let me hear kenson talk about it that's really old has everybody heard this [ __ ] about richard gere [Laughter] dude that's [ __ ] intense man how many people have heard about richard gere having a gerbil in his ass [Applause] i swear to god it's maybe a rumor i hope it's i was in miami last night the [ __ ] crowd there went nuts i go [ __ ] everybody in the country knows supposedly because i don't want to get in trouble but supposedly supposedly i guess he was in the hospital mark you would probably know but is this for real you're a doctor in l.a it is for real he had a gerbil in his [ __ ] ass corroborated [Laughter] i can't believe how good can this [ __ ] feel man i have been drunk folks i have been drunk and coked up and [ __ ] up to where i have pissed in my suitcase thinking it was the toilet so i lifted the lid on my suitcase and just [ __ ] pissed me uh soak down a 500 [ __ ] red satin robe have a suitcase full of my [ __ ] piss you know it never occurred to me to put
a rodent in my [ __ ] intestinal tract this was uh this was late-term kennesaw yeah you can see it's jupiter not good that's not a guy who pays attention behind the wheel well this is the other thing i think someone hit him yeah uh all right the problem is he was that over the line yeah you ever sit back and say what am i doing yeah maybe you're right maybe it's time to check take it easy kennison is the best example that i can talk for comics of like a guy who is awesome and then was like a parody of himself really quickly yeah like within just a few years one special yeah one special jesus one facial special [ __ ] fantastic though that was when he was young and wild and nobody's seen anything like them but then the partying and all that stuff after that it became like a caricature yeah i became like a guy well i hope i do well and then fall apart like violently you should you will yeah you're on track that's gonna happen be good though right bad bad guys those are legends dude those are the legends you die by twenty seconds wrong you didn't get a chance do you think i want to be [ __ ] having a family and being gay and [ __ ] like that no you want a family it's a bad company that's shotgunned i'm just i'm just shocked i'm josh and i've been saying jamie please do me a kindness and get rid of all the times i've said homophobic stuff no let's go how are we going to do that jamie best judgment could you do me a kindness edit out a lot of the homophobic blame it on bud light maybe you get a sponsorship will not sponsor me i've never reached out to you yeah what the hell they should do you should let's go let's go they better come up or i'm going to switch to natty lightning now you're talking daddy let's do it now he likes desperate as hell i think budweiser owns them everybody wants to know me hey look at this yeah you know how to do it yeah i know how to shop you support it you got a knife no no this is a real native american arrowhead what do you think they'd want to use for broke this arrowhead imagine
if it survived 500 years in the ground that's the height you're going to achieve and you're broken that's on them how they're going to kill the the white man you're denying them hold on i would use my dick before i would use that wait where did you get that arrowhead somebody gave it to the side it's fake how do you know it's real cuz i got it checked out you got the [ __ ] authenticated you guys are you guys are a party from what uh where did you drink that [ __ ] you busted it i like crap crap i have a knife so it doesn't oh i don't have a knife okay okay all right here we go oh bush meet boys there we go all right 12 years sober now i have it's time all right bro it's time i'm going to rip off the edge i don't really particularly like that kind of beer very exciting oh it's not really about that [Laughter] what's it about it's about camaraderie about america jamie you gotta get one dude no no no he's got a [ __ ] control panel back there imagine if it kills the show this is for the bushcraft [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] this was ari's choice i didn't want to wait i'm doing one yeah you're doing wrong i don't even drink no hold on hold on let me do it you don't drink anymore no yeah he quite a while ago booze right there just gave more booze oh weird ready wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait how does this work again it's been a while james wants one yeah james wants one all right can i have one please yeah so you crack the top and the whole damn studio is going to smell like top peter no that's hilarious right it hurts cause it's cold so cold that was refreshing it is refreshing is it not yeah it's like it's like uh the ice bath of beer yeah it's like you do it it's not comfortable you do it when it's over you feel it it went you just took a whole beer right that's great ahead it really works yeah it goes down yeah
shotgun bro huh that's crazy that is medical misinformation though if we're talking about telling the public to shotgun beers no no what do you mean how's that misinformation we're not saying it's good for you we showed how [ __ ] awesome we are but it didn't cure your cousin i got i got cvs uh vitamin d and i drank a little bit of beer and then i ate a lot of chicken wings zinc listen thank god on youtube i posted that um i followed joe rogan's strict advice to be super racist it started with eskimos that moved on wait are you racist no not at all he's known for it it was called an ari shafir tweet they don't like asking questions i love them what is it you don't like about it raw blubber something about it man you don't like them and they shipped those [ __ ] geezers out on ice floats have you ever seen them you ever seen bourdain's show where he went to visit this tribe that was uh i guess as a tribe of inuit what do you call them a group of families mark don't throw up you [ __ ] and they were eating raw seal they were all eating raw food they're still drinking markets i think i did it wrong he was trying to drink it without popping the top why are you being assisted yeah i popped it enough no you don't sideways you know i saw a donkey show in mexico yeah speaking of donkeys it wasn't good i thought those were fake no i saw it we took a i went to mexico with a bunch of guys the guy goes you want to see a donkey show we took a walk for like a half hour and then we went to a barn there's a circle of dudes a hot girl comes out dances they bring a donkey out he's missing patches of fur the whole thing they flip the donkey over she blows it gives the donkey a boner she was pretty hot and then she sits on it i had to walk away she said yeah wait what huge donkey dog by the way how far did she get probably eight inches how much did you come a lot you didn't whack i couldn't it was too sad were dudes whacking did
you whack your legs they weren't whacking but you could tell they were retaining for later yeah yeah yeah did you walk to it later yeah you did you're allowed to bring your phone no this is 90s oh where was it mexico yeah which part outside of uh boys town where's that matamora where's that this could be called boys town oh yeah it's not bad do you know what happened in the franklin donkey show every night look at this wow it didn't look like that uh it says donkey's show with an apostrophe before the s that means this show no longer yeah it's like a show jimmy donkey runs this show every saturday every show every night coronavirus sorry show everybody a lot of chicken [ __ ] at my show covered in beer here yeah you get a little covered in beard next thing you know usually yeah i'll take it think you think remember funneling that was big funneling's great it's a version of this it works funneling's better than shotguning i don't like shotguns well we used to do that with weed in the early days of the podcast we do that volcano remember that yeah too much too much that's half the podcast we did we were destroyed destroyed i don't know how this caught on when it was unlistenable for four years yeah silent what are the odds imagine if we were like halfway deep into a bag a volcano bag and i said bro one day this is gonna be the most listened to thing on the earth what the [ __ ] are you talking about yeah delusional yeah one day i that's why i don't really love weed when i started it was always college and we were always just crushing gravity bonks you just you just didn't get high with joey diaz if you got high with joey diaz you would appreciate it that sounds scary oh my god it's the best it's too much but i love that i like other drugs other drugs are great and then we just we put together well stan hopes the same way a lot of you like long day drinkers yeah you guys don't like the weed because it makes you think about all the things that are
going wrong in your body why am i drinking in the first place shots at me stay at home because you're a big target [Laughter] isn't that what happens what you start thinking i do i don't know i'm not thinking about like oh man i've been drinking well now i would because i haven't now i have been drinking let's find out but i didn't like weed uh before no i didn't like i smoked in like fifth or sixth grade i was gonna go yeah what it brings out the evil and it's just like you think about negative it's all bad no i'm not thinking about i'm not even getting introspective i'll just get high and be like dude i'm gonna have to give my dad's eulogy someday yeah just always always i blow my weed right at you from now on i'll take contact high i mean once i'm already dude look at my vl's blocking your [ __ ] negative energy these are my crystals my every time i do it i regret it and then i criticized guys like me drinking bud lights when i first started taking ari they all get high and act superior when i first started taking aria on the road with me i'd get them ridiculously hot too hot like it just took a little time yeah you just had to work it out you got to get your tolerance up yeah yeah but also it was like the the thing about the shows where it's just experimental like go have fun you're supposed to have fun you silly you got great jokes it was the best we were like i'm getting too high you're like you don't you don't work this club you'll never this is like a massive club for me don't worry about that so i don't care so go for it well i just wanted you to not be nervous i go you can never get fired that's what i said to you i go you'll you can never get fired you don't have to worry i go you're gonna we're gonna be working together like it doesn't matter this is just fun let's have fun one time i did i did like 46 at the at the um i was like oh my god red band showed me i was like no i did like 30. he goes no i'll show you on the tape let's start
wait you opened open it 40 seconds 36 minutes but but he killed hey i was apologizing i'm really sorry joe's like i don't care i really you got the light at 10 you were on till at least 18. i got the light right out and got out of there second light second light really came up i never saw the floor we're at 17 what should i do what the asian kid yes how do you not know when you're doubling your time what you're alive well first of all we just started drinking at noon that's a good point do you set that digital watch do you have like a stopwatch on that [ __ ] i don't know how i did that and i don't know how to take it off ten dollars get another watch [ __ ] yeah i love that old man did you best looking on the planet there's nice things i have some nice things yeah what do you want cool watches i'll give you a watch better girlfriends no i can't buy you people i'll buy a cigar necklace what kind of watches do you like bud light watch i like i like omegas they're my favorite watch those are my favorites or whatever it is yeah speed master is the perfect watch for a first normal you can watch shane that's not your thing it's a great watch you'll never wear it that speed master is a watch that they literally wore in the apollo program it's a good looking watch because it was outdated because it whines because it's exploded it's a [ __ ] great watch that's a challenge bulletproof such a good watch iphone's never totally time launched apollo theater no iphone's better for telling the time if it's on but if you're thinking about bracelets you know what i like a little phone it's not a man who wears photos so it's already more of a phone it's an appreciator of engineering oh like these like this is a wall this is a seiko this watch is like there's little gears in there that are keeping it running like i'm not winding it uh it's just the movement of my arms no it's a [ __ ] diversion you're a right-wing guy or he's a piece of [ __ ]
this is the watch that uh captain willard wore an apocalypse now they wore that when they invaded it that's the one that uh martin sheen wore in that movie all right that's neat bro what the [ __ ] are you talking about all right i checked the team said it was neat i time my sauna sessions with it see i take this and i rotate it and then look at your phone make it to 20 minutes no don't use a phone in the sauna are you nuts i don't know i'm talking about regular life it's better you can leave it in your pocket you look at it less you actually look yeah i look at my i love the watch well i'm i'm asking genuinely i should use it on stage i like watches because i i like engineering i'm into things that people build because i think about how they built it i think about like if i look at an automatic watch i think like how many people [ __ ] people are involved in this figuring out how to make all these gears work so perfectly that each movement is one second exactly and if they're off like three seconds a month it's a lot it's five seconds these are crazy precise and they're these weird machines that operate on the movement of your body i'm fascinated by them you can also find them in every classroom in america yeah you can but you can't find this kind this exact no no you can find the kind you could find are the ones that have batteries which is actually better why are you criticizing watches you were too we were on the same side on this no no no we were on the same side on this batteries are [ __ ] batteries are better batteries are more accurate because he's killing it right now like this watch i mean he makes a good argument your argument's still a [ __ ] kite fire you go where the winds go [Applause] it's a great statement is that a jewish law i'm not saying it's true i don't think it's true i don't agree with them but that's a great that's a great majority awesome you know in a moment's notice yeah all right you've people wait hold on shane who you peaked as a person that's the best thing you've ever said in your life yeah that was if you really just
invented that right now kite flyer that's amazing he's going to lie and say you invited it he is a liar i don't know i know how embarrassing it'll be if i'm wrong you are wrong you are you're a kite your car flyer goes through your windows wait wait james you would know rule it out i knew this was going to happen dude i knew you could shock on one beer and fall apart oh yeah well he's old third hamburgers are on you tonight what does that mean what does that mean you gotta do another battery hamburgers are on you tonight third hamburgers are on your meals that means heats three hamburgers attempted a joke about physique how many meals did you eat on the flight oh i had one meal on the floor and then and then i went to the show oh you had two yeah yeah i took it back i was wrong you are making fun of his gluttony for eating three delicious hamburgers tiger burgers i ate three and a chicken sandwich you're obese all right i'm obese technically i know that being like somewhat skinny is like one of the only good features you have in your entire life look up kai flyer he's tall when ari got into that sober october thing have you seen him i've got a lot of back back here kite flying hold on meaning of kite flying yeah we know that the act of trying to find out what people's opinions about something new will you invent this formally spreading news of it google's already all over the place you just didn't understand the word says yeah of this is definitely different because ahri's kite flyer is way better than the wikipedia kite flyer the oxford dictionary kite flyer sucks we can't guess hold on it says the act of kite flying is the act of trying to find out what people's opinions about something new will be by informally spreading exactly so he didn't know the saying he's not right no he made his own saying you're wrong
how was juice school you could say you wish you didn't dye his hair blonde i know you can't dye his hair did the jews get mad at you sometimes later yeah i got called a piece of [ __ ] a rabbi some lady from an audience she waited outside and i passed by ian finance told me she was mad i was like all right and then i passed but i didn't know who it was and i passed by outside and she goes you're a piece of [ __ ] for what holocaust joke but you were in it yeah what's funny about the holocaust dude tell me enlighten me what what's funny about that type of thing they all wear the same outfits a lot of yeah i got a lot of shoes out of it it's like oh man you're wearing that today too you're wearing burlap against today is that the joke you know that's funny it's a good joke just every day coming out and be like ah we're wearing the same thing again i was gonna wear gray no you're blue today did you guys ever see that documentary called doctor death no wait wait a minute it's a documentary about this no no no he was a guy who made devices for uh death sentences and so these execution devices this guy made he got hired by these people i think there were these i think there was holocaust deniers and i think they hired him to go examine some of the gas chambers where they had out of here on this one killed the jews and he gave uh an opinion that ultimately turned out to be very incorrect like he gave an opinion that it was it was either misinformed or something but then it was ostracized because the guy was denied he essentially it's not i don't know i don't think he ever made a statement saying the holocaust didn't happen but what he did do is say that this one particular area where they were showing him was not as they described it like a place where they executed people and he was wrong and when and so shady wasn't an expert well i don't know if you i don't know i don't know but i remember it's a crazy thing because like that's one of those things
where if you are in if you you're even examining like the the holocaust like you're you're already in like this like shaky like six million people killed it's a it's it's so radioactive like you could get anywhere close to the holocaust it's so radioactive that anything no it's the worst time one of the worst times in human history ever but the point is it's like if this guy had any sense yeah he would never have gone there he would have been like what are you you what are you asking me to prove are you asking me to prove people didn't die like how many people how many people do you think that's what a lot of people that's what i would do it was like 200 000. oh yeah or 20 000. i forget what they say what are the holocaust i say they say some people die but who's far exaggerated yeah they don't what is harder scientifically to be to to ignore holocaust denier or flat earther holocaust denier it's easier yeah yeah it's the the holocaust and i are so it's so crazy no the flat earther is easy to deal with because it's just something's wrong right like this is like hitting it's hitting the road because you could be like i've never seen the earth curve i don't know no no no no we're on the same page i'm saying flat earther is easier to understand right the holocaust deniers like why here's the thing yeah you ignore a lot of pictures do you think no jews died i don't think they think that okay so do you think a hundred like you tell me what you think it is yeah and then i'm i'm like why are you even thinking about this there's giant f there's photographs of giant piles of bodies but even if it's what they say if it says like it was like 20 000 maybe they say 200 but if let's say they said it was 20 000 it's still like that's like a really bad you shouldn't round up twenty thousand people just because it's still pretty bad it's not the crazy thing is just because of their religion that's what's even crazy well they're not they can figure out if you ever figure out how to other
people you can figure out how to other people of astounding evil things can get done but that's a lot of work putting all those people on trains that's impressive are we denying yeah oh i went through the bathroom we're starting a little denial oh we came back how impressive it is we're talking about that yeah i mean which way does the races go it was impressive or it didn't happen which way does a real racist go on the holocaust we killed it hitler fanboys yeah yeah or killer deniers you're hit your hitler denies you're less racist if you're a denier you're right yeah i agree right because you're just like it didn't happen i don't want to believe it yeah hitler wasn't that good at killing people yeah he was great you can't deny it yeah but you can't top five no matter what no one talks about the blacks the retards and the gays oh sorry a lot of hitlers were black people oh that they killed the clicks the gays they killed a lot of uh catholics other groups they were pretty good gay people numbers gay people catholics no way catholics yeah they're germans killed the priests yeah bro why why because they were catholics catholics are good boys no and the the nazis were bad guys they saw us being good me and my people and they were like we can't have you being good like this we're talking about what the [ __ ] history gillis what it was they never touched the camera you know what's the the the creepiest thing about the thousands clergy bro what is that not is that not high enough yeah you got a lot of child you got a lot of child rapists off the streets see that's a nasty thing for you you're right you're right i go negative too often a thousand dudes who died in the holocaust were child rapists yes that number was high yeah probably probably only 800 of them were like that how many million people died in the holocaust what's the number six oh six total people seven oh total jews yeah way more than everybody else russians and everybody you don't know anything that even
happened and you went to died in the war didn't they yes for sure like yeah by like how many russians so what i'm saying 20 to like if you include civilians it's outrageous it's like 30 to 40 million rushing no it's like that's too high i bet it's no it's like 20. 20 million that's just during world war ii i'll get right here soviets villains around 7 million wow wow look at the numbers no it's all the number of deaths and there's six million and then seven million soviet union wow uh soviet prisons awards three million so now we're at jehovah's witness had 1900 getting on the board 312 people with disabilities living in institutions up to 250 thousands almost 70 000 no homos hundreds 70 000 repeat criminal offenders and so-called associals what does that mean seventy thousand people so they killed seventy thousand repeat offenders what if you were dead what if you're a jerk jewish gay tough time to be alive well you were going either way you've gone either way but you'd have to like add like how do you want to go in right now what should we write on your thing that wasn't even a hundred years ago it wasn't even 100 years ago people were bat [ __ ] mad yeah and killing people over religion and killing people in enormous numbers and trying to take over continents and storming into [ __ ] new boundaries and killing people and people are hiding people in their basements that [ __ ] was 80 years ago it's electricity yeah shut the [ __ ] up well it's just impressive that hitler could have that much of an impact yeah well let's go you got to keep an eye on stalin dude mao too yeah and mao mao 50 but where else did they go but mao killed his own like you're talking about you got to cross borders to do it that's impressive that's impressive this is a story i forget who tells it of who who told her that i read or listened to it they were talking about um when hitler was uh going to talk to mussolini and mussolini apparently wanted to get out of the war and hitler they he was exhausted from the campaign so they shot him up with uh testosterone and cocaine
hitler yeah and uh and he went he went running up to mussolini and he wouldn't shut the [ __ ] up they injected cocaine into him apparently this is i don't this might not be real yeah there's all those rumors about that but that he talked like [ __ ] ranted at him for five hours then mussolini's like he's [ __ ] cocaine okay do you think that one of the things that was epic about um those times it was like not just how insane it was like with the world war with literally the worlds at war but this is the first time a guy who's as [ __ ] psychotic as hitler has a microphone no microphone before then so there was no broadcast so you couldn't do a thing where you would have fifty thousand people in a square and you're like it sounds [ __ ] up right like and the whole place like yeah it's a wild the microphone changed he would have changed every card in the in the square yeah right psycho like [ __ ] the thomas jefferson days you know the lincoln days when you stand out there and talk to people for five hours yeah right this this is like the first psychotic dictator that has a microphone it's a good point i mean think about when you're with a heckler you have the mic you have so much advantage they were also germans were was up at the half like what does that mean they were winning sports you know and then like they turned around but he had to see a moment where he's like i got this this is all going according to plan yeah take that take that we're we're good micro penis that plays another that doesn't play in i heard he had a huge dick really oh i've heard my computer it's a weird thing to focus on well it's just it's a motivator it's like kevin hart if he was six two he wouldn't be this uh bustling guys are smaller they gotta do it what is that the russian guy um the rushing of the [ __ ] everybody putin the giant dick uh you're thinking klitschko rasputin
really yeah everybody he had the huge i wish you hadn't done that dude i was gonna get it yeah i had it jamie son of a [ __ ] what he was trying to get jamie thinks he's better than everybody but rasputin had a giant hog and they actually pickled it so it's it's in formaldehyde you can see it yeah you can see his head right there weird shape by the way that's his hog limp big dick imagine how big that is it looks like a thumb for real upside down oh no it's way bigger than the thumb bro that's a that's your that's your whole arm that is a root even the foreskins literally yeah that does look i yeah those were non-gmo dicks yeah they were different back then pickled 12 inches it says 12. just so soft 12 inches soft if you have a dick that good of course you could predict the future big dick energy that guy was [ __ ] everybody and they had to kill him do you think they could have juiced it up before they stuck it in there he was a giant dick freak rasputin was big davidson and everyone was like why is this guy [ __ ] everything exactly so somebody was like i'm the czar dude pete davidson was a john holmes dick who's rasputin that's a good question you say yeah no no no no he's the russian guy who uh [Music] he's like seduced seduce the wives of these guys the greatest russia's greatest love machine according to 1978 song by euro disco group bonnie m dorian the one woman is such an intense orgasm that she fainted he's a giant hog this is the number one dancer of all time what they're talking about right now the question is does the mystical genitalia of the scandalous holy man simply exist in legend or is it really still hanging around proof dad czar nicholas brought him in there's a hog he ended up like swollen with water because it's been sitting in there for like well 12 inches of swollen stop complimenting yourself your dick you could leave your dick in a jar for a million years it's never going to be true
soft but it's engorged with water that's a wart to kind of cut a water oh you're right i think there might be a stick in there that's keeping it stretched out see if you look at the tip of it how does that and it looks like it's filled with something like they stuck like a [ __ ] a sharpie in there or something i think on his deathbed he's like put a stick in my dick that's why like the head it looks so and how do you get people to go that dish yeah fluff me up before i die well you shouldn't go to that museum now unless you're in the neighborhood they're going to preserve mine in a shot glass yeah [Laughter] that's what every man's afraid of like a hypnotic mysticism giant hog because deep down we all know our women are dumb as hell and just any old [ __ ] [ __ ] off the street can trigger especially yeah especially he's got like leaves in his beard of roses stars on it he's got like some blue albano [ __ ] type yeah girl in your beard like like you pretend to know a lot about astrology you got beads in your beard i can't talk to you i'm with the guys who killed rasputin this gets really this gets very weird right here what's weird read it legend says the 1920s rasputin's daughter maria then a circus performer who later tamed lions with the hagenbeck wallace circus discovered a group of women in paris that had been venerating her father's penis what does venerating mean it means like praising what are you a fool did they teach you nothing everybody in high school it's a regard with reverential respect or admiring deference right he's right i'm willing to admit one another or a reality okay venerating her father's penis they believed it could bestow fertility and they even handed out small pieces of it to those in need women who needed fertility would get a small piece of dad crap i heard you can get a piece of his dick now for 99 million dollars all not true like bitcoin that's a bitcoin i heard you get a free cup of
rhino to horn tea you know they have those right better stumble through that there's like a lot of people have that thing with with rhino horns because because it's not even good but it's the idea is that rhinos are so close to being extinct that if you're one of those [ __ ] drinking rhino tea you're living on top of the world i don't like that prestige are you hanging out with those people it's it's it's an asia thing actually now i like it in some parts of uh some parts of asia they they like it's only like the creepiest of the creepy people it's not a normal thing you don't see black guys doing that stuff there was a place somewhere i think it was in china where this guy wrote this story about going to this place and it's like an exotic thing that only happens once a year but they serve them endangered species oh well so they sit down and protected species as you say so you sit down you can eat like lion you could eat a gorilla burger yeah wild [ __ ] i i forget so it's like the people like it's the squid games people the problem is you read something like that it might just be some [ __ ] journalist who thinks he's cute he's gonna make up some story about like how much documentation do you have to have about an anonymous place in china where they're serving gorilla you can't trust anything you read no no right now pretty much that's disinformation it's hard you're not allowed to clean it's hard oh you can only be accused of dissimilar i thought it was misinformation well we're finding out now that all that [ __ ] that people got kicked off of youtube for the [ __ ] cdc says now isn't that weird it keeps flipping well it's gonna keep flipping until the truth comes out like there's a lot of what people already knew like people that are experts in certain aspects of it like that it's not dangerous for kids or that right a lot of people that are getting it really badly or obese like these everybody knew this but if you said it for a while it was a real [ __ ] problem like you get eliminated and removed from platforms now all of a sudden jake tapper can say it they can say you know how many people were hospitalized with
covid or because of covid like if you went into the [ __ ] hospital and you had a broken leg what are they saying are you saying you're in the hospital right where are they going yeah or did you just break your legs to make sure i know the right number yeah well it's like they they're starting to come clean on that now but they never seem to go hey we were wrong about that sorry yeah they just keep going that's what i do in their defense the science you're talking about in their defense of science changes the science change but it just say that yeah okay hey turns out we were wrong everybody yeah i said that earlier but here's the other truth take your tweet down at least they're not allowed to question the science and that's that's where things become a problem it's weird like the science changes but sometimes some scientists have already anticipated that it's going to change they're like this is new but if you say it too soon people get mad at you instead of just examining can i stop you there i trust the science dude shut up i do you're pissing me off with this stuff i do you're [ __ ] pissing me off uh-oh he's serious what is that patches i trust in science too nicotine i love it do you want a cigar no no you don't like cigars you want one all right yeah if you guys do them yo stop pretending to like cigars oh yeah he does like cigars i love him yeah sorry i accused you i haven't smoked for decades son all right you talked me into it what are we getting he's uh j.r.e cigars but joe i am serious stop goofing off and joking about this type of stuff can you snip that it pisses me off there's a doctor can i do it for you if you're listening yeah i'm on team shane dr dr fauci i'm [ __ ] trying to hang out dude there you go this is the best one it puts like a slice in it oh i like those that's my favorite i like those labia i don't want a cigar yet mm-hmm so we got a show tonight huh yes who's your guy's favorite how about last night that was great
dude tom segura might have shafir mark norman shane gillis tony hitchcliff talk about today best lineup in them in a in the world that day 100 100 percent top segura awesome could use some diversity there we got uh asian hans i'm technically a jew tom's a [ __ ] mexican oh rightly a jew good point not according to them they don't claim you they don't like you after you abandoned them it's a tick off i do not talk much to my old friends what are they doing is it an issue eating it one of very few places to eat just that white one that white one is a lighter too oh what are they you know what i got to fill that one scheming plotting scheming plotting the next big win don't be hating that they're making that money this is what no one could say why do you think about jews here's a big thing about jews love it how many [ __ ] people that are jewish have won the nobel prize i mean it's astonishing a massive amount percentage-wise yeah you're if you're looking at like a characteristic like who's giving out the prize dude who's voting for the new that's what that's what you never forget it's a good play there's no jews left in norway it's just jews voting they're like you know who's the best us again wow that's the best jewish place ever oh my god it's us again wow special christopher you've like combined woody allen with like some sitcom star i'm trying to figure out who it is you couldn't help but make it like a little more regular than the nobel prize the nobel prize for best guy goes to us again we have one of those amount that's [ __ ] dead on though that's gonna be an issue uh there we go thank you you're welcome all right well i feel left out dude you guys waited until i packed one of these [ __ ] tight-ass scenes now it's too much nicotine my heart is close to exploding my heart is on the brink
is um nicotine i don't believe is bad for you it it's bad for your heart certainly nicotine is yeah you know nicotine is all what we you know we started googling this once and we stopped good for your it's like that nicotine is a supplement and uh i thought it was like a medication for your heart no no it's definitely bad if you're a big fat guy you shouldn't be crushing yeah it like dilates blood vessels if you're a big guy i tell you it's a supplement bro you're doing great thank you dude it says nicotine is a dangerous and highly addictive chemical danger it can cause an increase in blood pressure heart rate flow of blood to the heart and narrowing of the arteries vessels nicotine may also contribute to the hardening of arterial walls which in turn may lead to a [ __ ] heart what happens what do chicken wings do what do chicken wings do they give you a heart attack they also do heart attacks okay um will you just look up uh it's nicotine no no no i don't know oh uh will you look up um how about not nootropic um just look up medicinal benefits of nicotine please how about this nicotine [Music] okay here we go when chronically taken nicotine may result in positive reinforcement negative reinforcement reduction of body weight enhancement of performance and protection against parkinson's disease tourette's disease alzheimer's disease ulcerative colitis and sleep apnea are you guys talking about those are not beneficial you're talking about what about those i don't know but it says benefits reading bob says enhancement of performance and protection against parkinson's tourette's alzheimer's yeah obviously protection again jamie's like it gives you parkinson's no that's not what it does what's negative reinforcement jamie you must feel like a [ __ ] idiot what does that mean like positive reinforcement negative reinforcement what the [ __ ] does that mean reduction of body weight isn't good if you're skinny but man but but both those things
together like look at that it may result in positive or negative like this is why why are you attributing against the nicotine yeah if it could do either or it could be are we talking about nicotine now can i just say that you owe me an apology for the years that you screamed at me for smoking cigarettes and i see you smoking a [ __ ] cigarette i smoke a cigarette before a show all the time that was a couple though like hey sorry about those years sorry it's time for you to bulldog the problem is get in there the problem is as i smoke this cigar filled with nicotine i'm not addicted like you oh come on you're too smart for this you're too smart why are you smoking and you're a [ __ ] smoker only for four shows how many times do you do shows every day no not every year he does 20 shows a day i like drinking two cigarettes before a show it's nice it gives you a wild head rush you know what cigarettes have this is like as a strategy cigarette cigarettes have a lot of [ __ ] energy to them there's something about the the the and i don't think you should smoke cigarettes kids but there's something about the active cigarettes this information to me is like pregnant women smoke away it's similar to the act of drinking a shot of whiskey it's like geez starting a forest fire what the [ __ ] you doing over there dude what are you doing ari's pretending he's good at cigars and it bothers me i know how to smoke well he hangs out with bobby kelly the thing is it's like um there's like shots of whiskey shots of tequila those those types of things even a cigarette they have a lot of [ __ ] energy it's like let's go yeah dude cigarettes are awesome that's what i was trying to tell you all along you were doing them all day every day they're awesome awesome good name for the group [Laughter] good name for a transformer [Laughter] his new look he looks hot he's hot he's people aren't mad that bezos is out having fun he's having fun not funny
what are you supposed to do when you have 183 billion well he dresses like pitbull i like that that was a party he was at a disco party oh it was yeah it was a costume party it was funny somebody somebody i think tweeted it was like here's the two richest guys on earth and it was just elon musk tweeting like memes that are [ __ ] stupid and then bezos hammered like you expect to be world leaders they're just like 38 year olds you got the money yeah i have like 40 bucks and i'm getting [ __ ] up hell yeah like wouldn't you be disappointed if you didn't live that way you didn't have this this uh this lady friend that's as hot as the sun you want to go to the church actually she was fair to midland i'll be honest he's got three million dollars better than bezos when it came to snidge i think it was worth the half a billion dollars to get rid of it he wants a super hot lady that's his age oh my god when you're as old as he is he's raised his old desire i'll never be as old as him you're gonna die before that time who is lauren sanchez that's his wife he's got that one vein that goes all the way down like the [ __ ] answers yeah yeah he's jack it kind of looks like the guy from uh is it robert blake jeff bezos listen to me you got to learn jiu jitsu the jinx that's your next thing i know you don't have a job anymore you quit you quit amazon yeah he's quit he's [ __ ] hanging out and balling he's like 183 billion dollars he's waiting he stopped being the ceo well then let him do whatever i'm saying he's living life exactly haters he probably still has like a lot of stuff i thought he was controlling the global slave factor oh see it's a disco party look everybody's dressed up they're all silly oh my god he's gonzales he's he's falling out of control there's a fun party i heard suicide a lot of people at that party he's balling out of control good for him but yeah good for him why why can't you say good for him everybody gotta be a hater what's he yeah what else is gonna do that shirt is
awesome that jacket's awesome amazing um what but people want you when you're that far ahead of the game like the game of like how rich can you get most people are [ __ ] barely paying their bills all right what's that how old do you think you're going to be when your body stops working what the [ __ ] dude i think 55 in those last five years i don't think the body's gonna give out he'll get in a d drunk driving you think i'm gonna i don't drink and drive come on you drove me here guys i can turn this ship around whenever i want oh that's what drunk's always my dad said that before he hit my mom it was funny jesus christ i know did he yeah whoa no that should be the jra clip this week yeah pull the picture of my mama with the black eye oh boy just find a regular picture of your mom and edit in a black eye yeah find a good brianna the question was when do you think my body's gonna shut down yes it's coming it's shortly no no it's happening now i can feel it when i wake up oh that's nice no it's not a funny joke dude i didn't know you were hurting yeah dude you wake up you're like oh where the [ __ ] on the crystals no i like these [Laughter] oh the one thing i like you like comedy yes i'm young you like your lady come on buddy no i'm joshing around dude i can turn this around whenever i feel like it i don't know do you think i'm going i'm worried about i don't think you can turn worried about it you're not turning around you're staying that way forever why are you guys worried about it i'm not worried about it we weren't shirtless i worry about people i saw you guys shirtless dude i wasn't saying anything it wasn't great i'm 20 pounds overweight right now it's bad yeah i don't want it i'll be down to that in one month you look like a hairless cat [Music] that's the face you want to see one of those cats that's exactly what ari looks like and you were wearing underwear you were
wearing skivvies only pull up the picture of the cat the hairless cat they look the face looks just like ari it's insane it looks just like that that's insane 100. that looks like after a shower [Laughter] those cats like my food's too dry right right what soup is lukewarm what do you think is defeating 70 percent of it i realize is this whole milk why was egypt so into cats oh they worship them why they were really in a cave weird one to be into yeah i prefer cow over cat the indians right like made sense [ __ ] sturdy instrument yeah well not only that the indian origins of it they think has to do with uh psychedelic mushrooms because they looked at a cat they stared right at their pet and like what the [ __ ] oh that's india cows indian indian cows chicks no this is the the speculation was that the idea was that at one point in time they realized that these mushrooms are coming from cow [ __ ] and so those cows they thought of as sacred and so you don't eat them because they brought them exactly this is all speculative because no one knows exactly what the origin like when they decide to not eat cows but it totally makes sense if you have a religion that has something called there's there's parts of um uh like uh the hindu scriptures where you go back and they're trying to figure out like what they were talking about when they were what they were taking you know like what what drugs they were taking they don't know what they were taking they were taking some and they named them i forget what they named them this when i was in college i worshiped hogs a lot of drinking [Laughter] you don't like hogs anymore i try to grow out of it you know i have a little self-esteem man how nice was a good hog bring home nice oh nice hog wheeler nice like good old round we're doing this tough to catch when they love the slop bringing home the bacon after a bar good times oh man how bad was that though when the
lights turn on you're just like oh there she is there's my queen you roll over you're still on her ugh yeah that morning was rough the morning is like wow there's a wake-up call the smell was different yes a little stickier yeah you're talking about fat ladies vaginas smell different just talk just someone but it's beneath your level more of the full wake-ups yeah you've made an error no i like those girls i do too they're nice they're generous you ever have someone show up like like meet and then when you meet you're like damn it this is not nearly what i was expecting that's all on steering online there's no way to get out of it though we have to go through with it you gotta do that with your short guy if you're under six foot i feel like you gotta get on a on a celebrity's like here's me with tom cruise right i went with me when i was on the dating apps i was mean conan i looked like brad williams yeah brutal you're in your dating gap picture like conan is six foot seven yeah have you ever seen that picture of the rocks then next to these basketball players yeah he goes now i know what it looks like to be kevin hart it feels like to be kevin hart yeah there's some giant humans out there like every time i'm sitting next to shaq i'm like what yeah shock is a weird one they got the word look at that picture people look at that picture of it oh so shaq is one of the guys there's the others shaq and who's the is it charles barkley yeah these four of them look like an evolution look at that picture whoa i'm telling you dude i've been around the rock he's enormous look at that look at this difference whoa one two three is giant look at this giant they got the two tallest people in china to [ __ ] uh is that what they did on purpose true story and did they uh that says a lot of money special they they feed them like you know bat goose liver goose liver goose liver is probably really good for you pate yeah no liver is like one of the best things you can eat that's true full
of protein and vitamin a it's a lot of stuff in there i think there's creatine in there too damn i might just bulk i might start crushing creatine but you won't be funny if you're buff no he'll be he'll be maybe funny he'll be built like a football player and funny you don't see a lot of that nope no that's wrong it's not funny gronk's not funny in fact they keep trotting him out in every commercial i know and every commercial he's like hey i'm [ __ ] right he's just a fracture this is kind of sad well dude when i saw new rules when i saw apollo in the eight fun nicked apollo in the 80s 88-89 nick cavallo was a [ __ ] hunk and he was built like a football player and he was hilarious he played college ball he was like [ __ ] he played maine he's a sexy guinea yeah when i first met him he was a big [ __ ] and he was really funny and i remember thinking like oh you could be funny and still be jacked oh yeah that was like stylish it's lame he was pretty stylish stylish is lame italians can get away with it because it borders gays i think black guys can be scottish gay yeah black guy's gonna be stylish waiter what's sebastian could like could go either way oh he's clearly heterosexual but he's also like color coordinated yeah he's so italian that he's like oh this could be gay right groomed not a hair out of place he's kind of a metro he's got a good show a cooking show it's funny oh really yeah he's got a funny show i forget what it's called what's sebastian's cooking show plug shane and i were talking about us today that sebastian back in the days before he was like famous if you get high and sit in the back of the o.r and like no one's around so you're just like no conversation it's a bad it's like he was one of the best high watchers really yeah oh there he is look at that brings his signature comedy to the kitchen what is this on well done it's called well done is it on the food network oh good title that says discovery plus discovery plus wow but it's good channels now not doing great he really loves cooking so it's uh it's
like it's something fun for him there you go it's not work no but he knows what he's doing i love cooking dude they do they love cooking it's another thing gays and womps both love it right lady work i'm right here ari oh yeah i always forget [ __ ] you're a wap joe mostly wob yeah what's the other part irish irish yeah that's right you're funny that's very american yeah neither one of those are privileged white no irish at the n-words of europe yeah well my grandparents when they came over here it was funny like at one point in time the way some people looked at mexican people that's the way people looked at italian people yeah people that were just coming in here and those are the ones like throughout history like whether it was the jews at one point in time they're usually like the fighters like boxers yeah like slapsy maxie rosenbloom there was like a bunch of like famous jewish that's a guy that was a real guy what's and then what was always african-americans from especially from uh the uh like jack johnson's days mm-hmm the jet we did you've ever watched the jack johnson days those are wild fights yeah because all the white people want him to lose and he's better than all the white people he's knocking them out when you're [ __ ] [ __ ] white chicks and they would have race wars over here i could not possibly lose to the black right like that level he [ __ ] everybody up jack johnson [ __ ] and they think that even when he lost when he eventually lost the title he might have taken a dive because you see when he goes down he kind of like holding his head up it looks like he's kind of relaxing yeah he's like i'm done with this who was uh who was the guy who uh cinderella man no no no no that was the other guy max melanie was the guy that george that uh joe lewis fought he was german so he knocked out joe lewis yeah he knocked out joe lewis in the first fight and then joe lewis annihilated him in the second fight and it was like one of those things where it was like united states world war ii yeah world war ii it
was our patriotism on the line and joe lewis was the best of the best of america and he [ __ ] max smelling up and it was a big moral victory for us and black people also black versus german yeah so crisp but you know back then like a heavyweight champion was only like 190 pounds right that's crazy rocky marciano rocky martial i think was 185 pounds wow that's why tyson fury might be the best ever he might he might if you matched him up if we had a time capsule he's six nine he's the big white guy yeah he's six nine might be the greatest ever the guy electric guy what's that he licked the guy right yeah yeah that guy he was fun when do you lick him the way he put when he was beating up deontay wilder in the rematch he licked his blood so they had one fight the fight round hey but this is the middle of the fight the fight was still going on he licked him this fight was uh the second fight so the first fight it was a draw and tyson fury knocked him out and look at this their second fight oh gross he's more more having fun i think than everything he eats at a girl in her period i think he actually licked him for sure he does but i don't think he actually licked him he just did a little tongue wiggle did it touch no that's a touch that's a touch that's a touch some distance it's hard to touch hard to say we gotta ask uh deandre you might get in trouble for that it might be like sexual assault probably but he won't like if a guy does that in a fight if a guy kisses a guy in the fight is that legal yeah you can't if you lose a fight you can't be like i was also sexually assaulted i signed up for it i wanted to know this for true because i don't know if it's true i'm a professional commentator can a guy get on top of a guy get him in a a triangle and kiss him that's assault you would well if you did that you would win but if you held him if you had like his arms completely octopused up like you've got his arms trapped in your leg you're mounting him he's yours his arms are trapped and you decide you're going to
kiss him that would be demeaning yeah but he signed up for it no he didn't sign up for that yeah you signed up for like whatever happens happens i wonder if there's a rule i don't know if it is it's not in the rulebook i bet one of those reps would dive in you know how they ufc they would explode themselves we promised nothing gay just guys wrestling has there been a gay fighter oh yeah yeah yeah yeah statistically i mean yeah well there's one guy yeah one guy actually did had done gay porn also a lot of the female division well that's a lot of females yeah i've seen those yeah that's it goes without saying you know uh tyson mike tyson said jack dempsey was his favorite jack tenzi was awesome again like 190. wait like yeah yeah i don't think how big was jack dempsey he might have been lighter than that i do not think he was that because no one was doing steroids back then right no one would everyone no one was eating the wheat we were eating now no one had you know corn syrup and all that [ __ ] that we're eating they were just eating like steaks and salads yeah and drinking a lot and they were sure especially jack dempsey had like a great look great just had a look if someone was going to [ __ ] you up yeah you know like old-school guy who probably worked on a railroad somewhere exactly yeah six one line those guys got on a train one seven lewis beat someone up 187 there he is there he is middleweight right six one one eighty six cuts he cut to 185. well middleweight in the ufc yeah that would be in the ufc but in boxing that would be cruz don't really know jack oh yeah kid blackie oh wow why what would that be because he's not black blackjacks colorado he had black hair you guys should get a smaller will you uh pull up a video on uh jack dempsey william harrison jack dempsey yeah he said is dead in the bronx used to throw pennies at the kids and they would fight whoever one got all the pennies so this guy was like you know this is in the days when everybody wore hats look at all those guys wearing hats
what year are we talking about colorized videos yeah interesting i don't like that i don't like those colors amazing though it does no that looks bad you know it's [ __ ] like that's what i want i want to see that old [ __ ] that black and white [ __ ] i think that yeah they don't need to colorize this they don't understand i beat them up i think this is fine jack dempsey [ __ ] a lot of people up dude look at that was he six two six one wow six one one eighty seven and he was a heavyweight champion in the world that was tall back then i think well the weight too the weight is the big thing oh oh my god he [ __ ] a lot of people up man were the rules different yeah he had smaller gloves oh look how small these gloves are these are like little bag gloves so they really popped up oh yeah man look at all those old men with those stupid delivery man this guy pulling him off jack dempsey was a [ __ ] animal and mike tyson patterned a lot of his like attitude about fighting from jack dempsey and a lot of other people but mike said that this is the guy who inspired him the most yeah but you know he he was inspired by sonny liston oh oh nice one as the refs backing him up great head of hair brett ernst if you go back in time and have a conversation with one of these guys and they had no idea the n word would be 22. could you imagine going back and talking to a guy from like tough to communicate with that would be fun would it be strange man the printing press is going to ruin uh our ideas on life a lot earlier your histories shane tell them he's like how about if you could go back and talk to a guy from 1920 that would be like talking to someone who's in a dream like look at you know like if you want to know tell them about anything you know about 2022 just imagine if you know what's going to happen in 2022 and then all of a sudden you're sitting at a bar with some guy in the 1920s who's just sitting there nursing his beer like everyone's smoking indoors no one knows anything about what the future's gonna hold yeah and you could you could sit
down this guy like you don't have no idea what's gonna happen no idea no you don't have a [ __ ] clue about world war ii you have a [ __ ] clue about cars you don't have a [ __ ] clue about planes baseball they will cheat and no one will care yeah you wouldn't be allowed that's why this dude on your podcast sat with an asterisk a houston astrix hat how did they cheat they read signs they started beating a [ __ ] background hold on trash can it was a rumor there was a rumor that they had a [ __ ] like a morse code ticker taped to like their thigh or you took them that would be like one fastball breaking ball how do they know that somebody i'm sure somebody you could put somebody in center field that reads the catcher's signals they they beat a drum to let you know a couple of pictures were like hey let me tell you my next five pitches so the catcher decides or the catcher suggests i suggest it catch a read through the picture [Applause] and this was our year and they were [ __ ] that's kite fine dude you're a yankees fan aren't you from maryland uh new york jews new york that's where we're from okay back it up this the broadcast feed doesn't matter it's this part that's coming up where you can hear from inside so i think it's where you can hear the thing oh okay oh you can see it look at the picture off speed oh it's hitting the trash can yeah that's so they were like there's lots of ways they would give signals let's tell them what pictures exactly there's a part of this champ in the the seventh game with the [ __ ] there's a part of baseball that's cool which is like old school cheating like banging a trash can is kind of okay right is that legal yeah i mean it kind of makes the game signals like watch out so because they talk like this over their mouth because people like they're reading their lips but then they got a glove over their mask every game this is actually every game the next season every pitcher [ __ ] beamed every
player this guy was running home after a home run near the end of the game and he was telling us oh yeah he's saying there's no clicker on me yeah he's supposed to have a click right he's like don't mob me because he's like don't touch my shirt that's what they were saying was going on here but retweets you know it's also allegedly he's covered up so he's worried they're going to grab him and open up this buzzer but what was also cool is then they would hit home runs the next season and rip their shirt yeah yeah you weren't like a non an mlb player you just you're [ __ ] stealing pitches in massive moments cool yeah they might as well just got caught and everyone did rob lowe was on this podcast wearing a houston astrix asteroids no whoa really oh astric media yeah like they won but that should not have been a win did you know this mark norman i did not i'm learning i thought rob lowe was gay right there look at that hat that's asterisks he's even hotter now he's hotter now he's a [ __ ] man and that wasn't easy he was already hot you like rob blow any more we got any more bl's there's a cooler down next to you any more uh another glenn livett's out dude we got this though i'll take a little mikael there you go thank you sir what are they we're gonna polish off two bottles in a case no this these bottles already half done oh i'm trying to sound cool friends forever that's adorable oh yeah is there any ice left in there with them hanging out that's wild they were buddies dude hell yeah friends forever you know trump didn't even [ __ ] bang any of the kids he went and hung out with the staff what a [ __ ] is that what you heard oh yeah was that on gab it's true i don't know where i heard that are you going to get his son on the pod junior oh norton used to love him no he used to hang out with him norton yeah yeah so before he's president he's friends with john dudley
i don't know that is my buddy the archer ah good show are you going on a lot right he used to be did he mark holland you said back when o was owning like one beer i've had three scotches you could do another please give them another scoop do you think they could ever replicate owen again no i don't know i think it's gonna be podcast now it's the only way i mean we have your mom's house does more than what they do but i'm not saying that i'm like could those guys get together again could l a ever get together again i would love to see it here's the quest is it late night is it too late for ona to get back together no listen to me anthony and jim norton yeah they got back together right now it wouldn't be the same shut the [ __ ] up it would not be sensational you know it wouldn't be the same it doesn't have to be the same yeah they'd like fight on camera that'd be fun yeah that'd be something the idiot fights was always good i think i think it would work out thank you you know what i was thinking today which would be sad that would be that would be interesting because dude it would be to get back together sure it would be o and a have to resolve it listen nothing i wasn't thinking about anything by the way listen wouldn't we go visit them wouldn't we go on that show wouldn't we go on that show wouldn't everybody start going on that show again yeah everybody would go on a show again you wouldn't even be invited dude that's a good point don't don't even start pondering i would like to see other comics on there it was a fun show to listen because he was a jerk guys i said no it's not mean no he's cranky because he has rewind all right that's good that's good all right all right all right try to remember that okay we're gonna start getting you back into this getting back into the comedy the swing of things because right now you stink wait you do comedy you stink he caught us in the shade quarters he was good in the cat skills killing it he was killed yeah and those mountains in fear my uncle that you should do a
history of comedy oh that would be [ __ ] hilarious that could be really funny roosevelt just died that guy was a piece of [ __ ] am i right could you imagine what it would be like to be in a comic in the 50s so easy everything is open game you're just like thank you men and women are different this guy's a genius they are i've never thought about it they're different right black people are late oh my god this is cutting edge holy [ __ ] they are late yeah have you guys seen marvelous mrs maisel yeah first season and a half it was cool but they spilled so fast it was real [ __ ] too jewish well i felt like it was really good and but the second season i kind of lost interest for some reason yeah every show stand up on tv you can't do it it just never works listen close to it sucks the stand up sucked on science louise yeah well that was a real stand up oh he's actually real you can do real stand-up car fire i'm telling you amazing is better than like punch line it's like it's as close you can get as to someone doing stand up it's just but her going to spend speaking from the heart they always do that yeah i'm going to forget all the preparation that goes into the stand up and i'm just going to speak from the heart that's what makes us have a hard time miss amazing going up and go you know what can i just talk about my [ __ ] [ __ ] husband right and everyone thinks it's that easy i know it sometimes is though like for some people like a joey diaz character like joey diaz can go on stage and you could have said something to him right before he went on stage and he'll go on stage mad at you and [ __ ] all over that thing yeah and murder i mean murder i've seen him do it i've seen him go on stage with something that literally just happened he trained a lot though to be able to do that yeah yeah no no doubt but joey in the parking lot could always do that yeah joey in the parking lot could always make everybody laugh like back when joey wasn't doing that good on stage because there was like a period i don't know how long it was you'd have to ask him you don't always have to be doing great
on stage there was a period out of the show joey couldn't figure it out he did that he didn't have the right uh i'm happy for you he didn't have the right confidence or something on stage but then he got it and when he got it he was a monster it was instantaneous man it's the way i've never seen anybody go from bombing a lot to murdering every time it wasn't just that he would do well he would kill on a level that you're like holy [ __ ] yeah really [ __ ] i've never seen him on stage once oh my god dude i mean there was moments where you know in like the early 2000s he was so funny that like you would go i don't what am i what's what am i doing how am i doing this so different than him yeah really he was an animal it just it was never captured on film like the best moments but it's like universal you've asked all of us all of us that were around the store at that time like who's the funniest guy you've ever seen like joey diaz um he's the funniest guy i've ever seen he would hit these notes that would like i i've seen people murder i've seen like louis murder and chris rock murder and chappelle murder and holtzman murder and i've seen everybody murder bill burr murder i've seen all these people heard he just keeps he murdered to the point where like you were just like where are we like you hit some new level extended like you can't breathe he would host at the store for over mike knight and potluck and he would be like he would have like the list of who's next and he would be like i can't even turn it it'll just be like this but then he really looking at the list and like still talking and he would be going like this with his coke hand next up thing [ __ ] and then he would go off on somebody goes next up machina wants yeah they would mispronounce somebody's name and then that was it it was the moment the joey sets with the best sets were the moment where he knew his friends were there like if he knew we were hanging out in the back of the room and he knew the crowd knew who he was he would go on stage like a gunslinger and we would all i'm telling you man like i'm we lined up back there a hundred
times two weeks you watch him late night late night he was great yeah but it was there was just moments where he you know like he felt the groove he just rode the [ __ ] wave yeah and it's almost like the people that were there those nights they saw it they got it they know what you're talking about the people that have seen joey murder they know it but for the rest of the publicly we got to figure out a way to get that down because he's not doing stand-up right now well podcast is a good thing for him oh yeah podcasts are great for him but but stand up is better he's a great standout when he when he gets and he has some [ __ ] points too that sneak up on you he's he's also a master of like uh great one of the best storyteller comics of all time of all time somebody should film him secretly so you can just capture that moment yeah he's not doing stand up right now that's the problem yeah actually don't put out all of it just saying like if there's a hot moment joey's a master of economy of words like he makes you realize like the quicker you can get to a punch line the less people are going to figure out where you're going with it and he sneaks up on you and hits you with it you're like and then for me it made me think oh i should do more of that like that's a strategy like you like to get your jokes down to the bare minimum of the amount of words you need to say because sometimes you don't think about that but then you watch a guy like joey and like it has they're all funny bits he's performing them fantastic but they're also the economy of words is amazing doesn't think twice about saying the worst things like he's so casual about drug use on stage it's just almost like you've all like done coke off a stripper's tit right right it's almost like he skips past that to get to the next thing remember that betty used to do about lighting some strippers wig on fire was it a hooker a hooker's wig lighting a hooker's wig on fire it's like it's like his bits were so crazy i hate those guys they look like they're giving you a blow job and you pull them in the middle like i'll just do it myself
he just had so many bits that were just like they were so crazy there was it was all bits about doing coke and staring out the window with your cat you and the cat are paranoid like he had like it was and he just doesn't do it he just stopped doing it he moved to jersey never comes to new york no never when i heard he was moving to jersey i was like it's a bit of a haul he's older he's got a successful podcast and a family and i think he's enjoying just being in new jersey and just relaxing i heard he was doing the stress factory like popping a little bit he did a little bit but he has it in a while last time i talked to him when we were down there we had dinner with him and he said he hadn't done it in a while yeah he loves his stand up right now dude i was like maybe we could talk this guy into moving in texas but then we went down there i'm like oh my god he's the king he loves yeah he goes he goes to family style barbecues yeah dude he's a king i'm telling when you see how he goes you go to a restaurant with diaz you're like okay yeah he's never leaving yeah yeah he's still alive i'm fine that was always the [ __ ] time somebody died you're like joey diaz is still alive and so associated humans have stronger genes than you hey already lagging yeah you saw the antibodies yeah well our audience has been clean for a long time now right well he's been saying that for years you don't believe him no yeah he was doing a lot of bud lights he was doing a little while he was about a calzone [Laughter] job we had to go to resort to sell and coke he might be the funniest guy in conversation i've ever met just hanging out with him he's one of the funniest guys he's another guy that everybody loves nice about you know what's nice about him is he gives it up too he does like i i remember the first time i did like uh [ __ ] uh anthony comey's show he was on it oh it was him and artie and i like said something funny and i was brand new so people like shut the [ __ ] up right but he was the one guy that like leaned back in his chair to be like good job that was funny yeah and
everybody else in the room just kept talking yeah when you're the new guy they're like who gives a [ __ ] what you have of course don't you hate that yeah that was a long time it's also it's so dumb it's like i have a good joke it's so dumb yeah somebody said something funny but he was the only guy that was like that was good yeah and he was the funniest guy the funniest guy in the room well he was yeah well without the funniest the most secure it's always the unfunny guy who's a dick and won't give it up right you say that but there's a lot of funny guys that are like super selfish too true it's weird man like some good comics that have like no comic friends you're like what the [ __ ] what happened to you what's going on with you man what are you even doing out there by yourself right dude we're filming this is not happening are you supposed to do it and i put him on last on the order and this manager agent comes up and says he can go on first instead i'm like uh sure but he's like the biggest name yeah and they're like well he's asleep so i'm like look at him up first absolutely and then he killed yeah he did wow wow he was tweeting he told me years ago that uh celebrities would pay him to tweet for them so he'd be like tweeting for kim kardashian you're a comedian i need to be clever i did another heroin bump you know that's hilarious i was on mad tv with him in like 1996. wow you were on mad tv yeah he played uh just a sketch that's where i met uh callan i didn't know you won that yeah i was a host of mad tv one no it's just one episode kind of like an snl host yeah same thing shane is always more of an uh my tv guy i like man tv better that's this is me and him whoa damn joe when you see it in black and white it looks like it looks like it's an old it's so old he looks like gleeson yeah this sketch is about golf and joe's like we changed the box because show off my physique no he would say that's not true how dare you did you just talk to that
made me feel uncomfortable about being shredded joe did you get sucked that night from a gal yeah i think i had a lady friend at the time hopefully good as hell in that dude you ever get sucked you should get sucked a lot looking like that that's a guy who should get sucked if the world is fair but um we became friends like right away he was always the coolest [ __ ] guy like he was always like from jump from meeting him like when i hung out with carolyn and him on the set of that show like you know you got like these actory types and they're uncomfortably they're all words i didn't want to say his name but then there was then there was me and artie we're just [ __ ] palling around like comics like yeah like when you run into a real comic on a set it's so fun it's not only i think he was like he was a pool hustler for a while oh yeah no he could play pool i met him at down and dirty with jim norton who's in the back never met him before never know and he was just in the green room it's just like he's just story after story yeah yeah he doesn't stop and he never runs out of storage now that's the thing the only the coolest people do heroin yeah true dorks don't do heroin you're absolutely right i think a lot of dorks do heroin i think this is incorrect and this is going to get us kicked out cdc yeah he can play some pool i played pool with him i was like dude you actually know how to play like he moves the ball around really good he would be a doctor if not for a sense of humor i think he did work on a duck oh i think he did he was like a long shoreman yeah yeah what was the real deal long sherman today you [ __ ] suburban [ __ ] hey the suburban [ __ ] yeah that's pretty good suburban yeah yeah i'm not urban for the real housewives it's perfect [Laughter] i'm urban do you live in the city i live in manhattan in the city oh boy queens is this where i live and that's ah is that the real city city nothing open
nothing but [ __ ] immigrants and me hmm that's what i like shane wants to be angry all the time he just sits in a sports area no i like the immigrants they were in the neighborhood i just got to the most diverse place in the country the images do you like it because they're like the most raw they're newly arrived in america they got hopes and dreams they haven't turned into yuppies they're not pretentious yeah i don't want to be not pretentious i do not want to see every time i see a white person in new york i don't like them just we went to washington square park i'm like why are you here you [ __ ] loser no immigrant is a he him no yeah everyone is there i got fish to haul if you see people with their pronouns in their bio just block them just like you're not gonna be grateful i i just have to not they're well they're mean that's a good way to exit out of that just get go stop stop and i don't mean if like it's like she her or he him even if you're trans and you're he her or she him i'm talking about those they them [ __ ] right like no yeah well it depends for me it depends if they're like actually are they them like if you see them you're like damn that's a [ __ ] that's true that's something different if it's like me being like by the way i'm [ __ ] he him like here's my here's the one that drives me crazy the he they are there that's more interesting i say anyone will list their pronouns at all get out of here get out of here maybe he may we're not talking about that the cartoon knew what he was doing if you get fat enough if you get fat enough you got to start going by the day oh you're plural yeah them you just said that's what we wouldn't say that about you the only way it makes the only way you couldn't get to that joke i was about to get you literally couldn't get to that job do you think they think they're showing solidarity to people that are like struggling with their trans identity when they're putting he him in their pronoun and they
have a [ __ ] beard right you know if it's a guy with a beard and he writes he him and his bio like what's he doing there is he showing solidarity no he's trying to make it about him he's trying to make it about his narcissism possible he's just a really nice guy never meet it they've then there's a couple of those there's a couple of nice guys they're out there but the other ones are ruining it but most of them aren't it's the active ones online well this is the problem with identity politics right anything with identity like people vary so much inside every [ __ ] group the idea of like lumping everybody together in terms of right left this that stops it's true so much variety in humans it's we're we're so fluid on gender but we're so hard up on everything else like are you black are you a man are you a right or you're left like we're gonna be fluid on that no one's accepting racial can you give me that black lighter and get some more ice will you yeah can i get that lighter thank you i think we have ice oh i'm sorry i'm in a water uh like a like a poland oh you want water we have wow we have a whole bunch i got a cigar i got a whiskey does that metal thing have water in it i drank it oh here i'll give you some more oh thank you yeah there's so much i know you had a spare agua there's a um a whole picture here buddy isn't it crazy mexico you can't drink the water it's like come on oh is that right oh well then they're doing it right we just don't have the gut flora for it we've been too coddled yeah we have bitch-ass water that's why they don't get covered uh they have ivormectin oh really mexico just mexico yeah i took it yeah it's a medical disinformation i just want to stay for the record neither are you nor myself or doctors i'm not a doctor why did i play one on tv if i was a better actor your name could be dr shafir easily that sounds like a dog i think a lot of people are vaccinated in mexico too though i think um i don't know what is uh
what's the rate of vaccination for coveted in mexico oh see here's the thing you couldn't even have this conversation on youtube weird if we had this conversation on youtube people would be freaking out we're just people sitting around talking yeah we want to know about our mexican brethren yeah this is what it's like when people sit around talking they talk about all kinds of stuff to say you can't talk about all kinds of stuff because people are listening you feel where too many people you feel about the indicovit do you feel that at all yes it feels like it because this one is like not so bad look at that mexico's got 149 million people's vaccines 72 percent full what do you get 56 the percentage no oh people people fully vaccinated 72 million so percentage fully i'm looking at percentage 56 that's great i thought it was 72 percent so 72 million is pretty [ __ ] good and 56 is pretty [ __ ] good i hear mexico city is awesome i've never been i've been we just went on thanksgiving yeah amazing really so cool so much art so much food the tacos everywhere really oh they're so [ __ ] good are they mexican mexican or like spaniard mexicans no mexican mexican but they do have that up upscale like uh we're better than you oh really yeah yeah that's fun the traffic there is insanity like when you go through an intersection they just people are going left and right where'd you go yeah i was there for the ufc a couple times um the people uh they they know how to do it though that's normal people just they just merge right right like people are like the red light is the suggestion yeah yeah yeah yeah speed limit maybe you should stop but uh whatever and people are just jamming up their [ __ ] lanes it's wild it's wild to watch yeah i went to italy with my lady and i had to drive and it was it's a different world those cul-de-sacs roundabouts look at this no it's the same side of 390 cities in 48 countries studied mexico city has the most traffic congestion in the world wow number one mexico city it's massive too so you can't get across town look at that drivers in the mexico wow spend an average of 66 percent of their time stuck in traffic wow holy [ __ ] go for it
so those people like there's no need to have a fast car in mexico where you going la us la we've been there la traffic everybody has to go fairly slow that's one thing that happens when you go to uh certain places like uh certain parts of the world you see all these economy cars like everyone has an economy car and you go whoa and then you realize oh like the way we live is weird the the luxury of just getting to where you're going well not just that like people have big ass trucks and [ __ ] and suvs and pickup trucks and [ __ ] sports cars and there's economy cars too but there's like if you drive through you drive through dallas or new york city charleston new york city see a lot of [ __ ] mercedes-benz they have expensive cars yeah it's like overwhelming like the amount is almost like half yeah yeah the car is on the road annoying yeah in new york you got to we have a beat up a bull car but if you look at like a nice chevy cruze dude if you look at like india there you go shout out to the chevy cruze chevy cruze what's the electric one the volt the volt good name yeah lets you know what it is by the way those hybrid cars are the way to go right those priuses if you want to get like the best gas mileage don't they have like [ __ ] electric [ __ ] prius is like a hybrid i think it has a stupid [ __ ] miles per gallon i think it's really crazy isn't it jamie doesn't the prius get like 60 miles to the gallon or something nutty probably probably higher than that yeah 60 is insane it's insane it's so much better than it was i'm gonna get a honda accord if [ __ ] keeps going well that's great i gotta something if everybody goes it goes well things continue to go well for me yeah i'm gonna get a honda accord that's that's what's his car yeah his dad i love honda before he died was like son one day my dad's alive alive dude oh congratulations you should hurry up sorry i'm not 90. my dad
my dad's alive my dad's 38. my dad didn't die in the titanic [Laughter] your dad was the iceberg the iceberg was jewish ah an iceberg so wait do you think epstein and clinton were friends or something i don't this artist made it i don't know i flew with him 26 times yeah it was only 26 times he was a good man and mischaracterizing here we got a love of science yeah i love the picture of clinton the both clintons and and trump hanging out how about [ __ ] fun laying at she is yeah she's in jail she's innocent they're letting her off do you think so yeah because those two guys was like uh do you think they engineered it it's possible yo for real though i know we're not supposed to joke about like child trafficking and stuff but that's a good side that's a good [ __ ] just laying down imagine that was your lady like yo we need to secure some young chicks and your girlfriend being like okay do you think that's what it was that she was a girlfriend or were they which did they have some weird friendship were they both i think both they were buddies i mean they're best friends i'd love to marry my best friend the way epstein did they were married whatever what a crazy crazy story he had a wild ride that there's a guy who's some sort of intelligence operative whether it's for another country or what and he's getting together with people and compromising blackmailing everybody yeah and then there's people giving him money that they can't they can't explain like exorbitant amounts get that golden retriever is that joe is that your dog what the [ __ ] your dog's been pictured [ __ ] up shut the [ __ ] up what's your dog say that's not marshall marshall marshall's been pictured i think that's a uh that's one of those uh irish setters is betty white that's the queen oh yeah queen and that's that's uh epstein her cabin he was staying in her cabin wow that's dark yeah that's but they don't know what
he who he was working for what organization he was dude they think really obviously the messiah but he wasn't he but wasn't he american he was american right he had a bunch of passports though jeffrey upstairs the jews had a good run i think jeffrey epstein is most sad you got a heart do i think that was the rumor i'll tell you what dude i don't know a lot and who came to the island israel well they don't know where he got all his money from it's like real sketchy weird i donated [Laughter] all right imagine you're a billionaire and this guy's like yo you want to come hang out on my island how's he saying yes what's he wearing what's up what's he smell like he's dressed like he's saying that yo you want to come hang out at my house yeah they would get famous people to go to their house yeah oh yeah that was the thing they had quite a guest list yeah chelsea handler was on the plane michelle wolf the plane she's on the list is she on the list i think she's on a couple lists she's she's innocent she's innocent schindler's list oh jesus hey we're not making jokes like that oh sorry i forgot the crazy here it is the mysterious foreign passport found in jeffrey epstein's mansion was used to enter at least four countries in the 1980s prosecutors say wow into four countries he had a foreign passport found inside a safe i'll tell you what i used it for well he seems bad if i ever had a chance to punch him did you ever see the video where billy gates was he's dead now so you know there's that yeah whoa basically like letting out like that almost i know i'm happy that the guy's dead like he's of course he's asking you hung out with him didn't you and he's like well he's dead now so i guess well he said more than that he was talking about men tell no tales they pushed him as to why he had this friendship and he said that epstein was
gonna donate to philanthropy which he felt was very important and like you know he has a lot of philanthropy that's involving like uh world health and stuff like that here see anybody who donates to charity is [ __ ] up when you met him ten years ago they're all hiding about soliciting prostitution from minors what did you know about him with him as you've said yourself in the hopes of raising money uh you know i had dinners with him uh i regret doing that he had relationships with uh people he said you know would give to global health which is a uh interest i have you know not nearly enough philanthropy goes in that direction uh you know those meetings were were a mistake they didn't result look at his face uh what he purported and i cut them off you know that goes back a long time ago now uh there's you know so there's nothing new on that no nothing new there to meet with him over several years and that in other words a number of meetings what did you do when you found out about his background well you know i've said i regretted having those dinners uh and there's nothing absolutely nothing new on that is there a lesson for you for anyone else looking looking at this he's listening to his publishers telling us so uh you know in general you always have to be careful uh a lot of us it's a bit of a lesson well you can hear it i heard it is there any already breathed over it you were just talked over you i don't know if he's looking to his publicist but he's definitely nervous jamie are you working the audio to eliminate ari's breathing do your best please keep it in fair enough but what a [ __ ] crazy thing to say right put more homophobia on the stream isn't that a crazy thing to say yeah so there's a lesson there were there any lessons he's like well he died yeah but
he's dead now he looked pretty shook up over that bro yeah he's like yeah that's my buddy i flew around uh there's nothing new here imagine if you go on pbs and they start [ __ ] hitting you with questions you're like what the [ __ ] are you doing pbs public broadcasting losers yeah what's next i have the xbox did he do that yeah microsoft what did she what did she ask him directly is there anything else to say i don't i think is there anything to learn from these yeah he goes mistakes or something like that he's dead now yeah it's as lame as epstein's xbox it's very dude how good was that though when they just killed epstein well what's crazy is that everybody security cameras went off and i know it's weird the whole country just had to sit there like yeah i guess she had some bombs on her all year round she was cute jamie bring up uh so her father her father is some sort of an intelligence agent right no he was a media guy i think something yeah something ooh oh look at that the foot in the cans i'd like to see the cans cans film festivals um will you pull up her father he's got like pelosi now pull up her tits yeah you're doing this wrong dude i always look at her father no the murky life and death of robert maxwell hey he's a cool dude look at that yeah she was pretty there yet yeah what was the story with this dude jamie uh he the the main part that sticks out other than his whole history he was a big media mogul in uh europe and his he was found naked in like the mediterranean or something like that uh look at him down there in the bottom corner but the left of the bottom corner where he's dressed up in his [ __ ] secret society outfit a little treat with elizabeth taylor wow he was something yeah then the boat was named after elaine too and i thought that that matters the boat was made after yeah yeah named after the lady what is it what's it called
gallatin rape i think you said yes that's right what uh language is that they would they would say galen felt like that i believe but here's the craziest [ __ ] about all this man it's like this sounded like the most ridiculous conspiracy just years ago if you went 10 years ago and talked to someone and said hey there's an island and they they take really famous people and scientists and they compromise them with young girls what compromise them yeah so they can have they videotape them and and then they have this blackmail money and then people are going to have to resign because they donated money to this guy and gave money to this guy like people have like ceos have resigned because they had written 150 million dollar checks they couldn't account for they didn't make any sense pretty good scheme it's wise it's a very simple scheme yeah like yo what's one thing no one can resist yeah 17 year old girls on an island especially if you don't know they're seventeen like if you think they're nineteen and then you film them and then they say hey by the way that kid was [ __ ] 15 years old you freak right you better donate or they say that you have the girl say it to you after you've already had sex that's how the boys see them react to it because they may they might say it's okay it's cool and then you know then they have that like who the [ __ ] knows but the fact is oh that's the other thing that is uh his his temple was is designed to look like the israeli flag temple nice dude [ __ ] shoes all the way to that part of that look at that that was like the boss have you guys ever looked into uh the franklin scandal no what's that benchmark yeah yeah benjamin i'm only on like chapter two benj ben franklin al franken he went too long he bumped me and did an hour he wouldn't get off uh no franklin scandal what is it it's i i don't know enough about it because i'm not done with it i just started ben expert on that tim dillon's all about it nick mullen's all about it oh yeah they know all about it and i talk to them and
i'm dumb and those guys are smart and they tell me about it report back i'm trying my best but it's in uh it's just a real thing that happened yeah i'll be there in two weeks the second you read about this you're like oh [ __ ] this is real who's the richest guy in nebraska israel but then i was i was just looking into pizzagate yeah you were and i was that was a fun one and it it been debunked yeah i think somebody just debunked the comet pizza there's no basement so they said that's what they said happening and they love to say this but no there is no basement there's no basement no no there's nobody they love saying there's no basement my favorite of that is the guy who went in there to handle business i've heard the guy shotgun no he had a i believe he had an ar he went down he was like i'm going to free those kids out of that basement and he was doing the right thing based on what he believed they're holding kids in there for sex drive that's one of those things where it's like abortion like when people protest abortion like louise you're doing the right thing and he's like well if you think they are killing kids you should be like hey they're killing stops sure yeah all right but the uh the the comet pizza the ping pong thing what was the picture what's that they say there's no basement i think the guy's been on interviews being like in our basement let's see really could be wrong let's find that out yeah is there a basement of comedy dude on behalf of my buddies i would just like somebody to debunk pizzagate that's all i would like well that's one thing about q and on is they hate pedophilia [Music] everybody gives them [ __ ] but at least they're trying to stop that the problem with q and on is like i i wonder how much of it [Laughter] how much of that [ __ ] where people are getting manipulated like that what are we doing delete everything i just said what does it say a lot of the messages about the far right conspiracy theory are coming
from germany that's what i'm saying well that's a problem i wonder how much like i've had these conversations with people that that know about these uh troll farms and how prevalent they are and how how much they get into our social media and affect conversations it's a troll farm dude listen to this they found 19 out of 20 top christian sites on facebook were run by a company that's designed to start arguments online and they were in macedonia so it's a troll farm so they're pretending that they're for jesus but they're really just trying to get people arguing for hire yeah it's like no they're no no they're being this is a job that's from the government so the government is hiring people to set up thousands of cell phones where they're all plugged have you ever seen it it's a wild thing to see like they've taken photos like they have all these phones they have all these phones connected to this like long rack of tables and these guys are moving look at this and so they're moving along this and they're [ __ ] posting they're gonna give them a heat look at that lady she's wearing a coat inside and gloves look at that heat the place so what they're doing is their job is to talk [ __ ] so they go online and they'll talk [ __ ] about christians or talk [ __ ] about muslims people arguing people arguing and they say extreme things they have like crosses in their [ __ ] their avatars but it's all fake they got on uh they would they would literally organize facebook facebook organized events like black lives matter versus guys who love america proud rallies and they would put them at the same place well they put a pro-muslim rally they put a pro-muslim rally across the street from a texas separatist rally they created both rallies the whole thing oh yeah this is a fake account we are trolling farmers this is a fake account my baby daddy ain't [ __ ] it's a fake account you will hear abusive and our narcissistic men bash on mom and claim parental alienation yet you never hear them tell people that it was their choice to abandon their children so they're just trying to start fights like imagine but listen but this look at that post like that's a post where it's
like hey you should take care of your children right they're you know this guy's an [ __ ] what are they doing all they're doing is trying to start a fight yeah and those go to the top of the yeah and then people comment on that and they're involved in the fight they got two million followers basically wild this is wild kevin hart meme i showed you guys this the other day there's a uh template site you can pay like five bucks a month and it will just start generating ai memes and you can just pick the best ones out of that wait what so what's the benefit of creating the fights what who's paying for that the russians russia is to get us fighting with each other yes did what the idea is i had a hr mcmaster yeah yeah the uh what was his gig secretary of defense national security nationals yeah i just shook his hands i also went to west point i let him know i was a bit of a west pointer myself terrible shirt amazing guy yeah he looked like a table club but he was discussing how they don't give a [ __ ] who wins the election they just want us to fight like they want us to if one won the narrative was clinton stole it from trump everybody's going to get mad if trump won they changed the narrative to he would have won the popular vote but clinton stole the popular vote what's the what's the appeal what do they say about that people have no faith in our system one enemy or anything exactly so they're dividing us so that look china is united under the ccp russia is div is united under putin that's the guy running [ __ ] and then xi jinping is rolling [ __ ] over there the troll farm page also combines to combine to form the largest christian american page on facebook 20 times larger than the next largest wow 20 times reaching 75 million u.s users monthly 95 of whom had never followed any of the pages so this these [ __ ] people i have enormous success with this [ __ ] america the largest african-american page on facebook three times larger than the next largest reaching 30 million users monthly 85 percent of whom had never followed any of the pages any of what pages and the pages that are following
them so it's like they're unique pages they're not connected what it means it's like it's not like they're the fifth largest women's page they're not subscribing to a whole i think it's they're not subscribing to a block of things they just pick that because it's the most successful of the christian pages or the most successful wow after so they're getting all the news from this christian site from this african-american website from this women's page yeah well a lot of people are getting all their their that's their community and the community is literally set up by a troll farm to get them angry about whatever yeah about everything i mean there's like [ __ ] there's southern separatists like keep confederate confederates on these fake things like well you know they have some good points like they're not they there's no they just trying to get people fighting about you we could be getting tricked by this ship but it could also be the same thing about like when they got us into iraq and they're like they hate our freedom yeah it's exactly the same way does russia just want us to fight maybe russia they definitely no no no no no they definitely want us to and this is well documented this is not like there's a few instances they know the agency it's called the internet research agency it's in russia people have worked there and left they've taken photographs they've had detailed discussions of it they but the thing is like they can do it because you don't know if it's them or if it's a real person right so it's like it doesn't matter if you know that they're real you have to research every account instead of just reading it moving on you're not going to do that but if you ever see people saying horrible [ __ ] and then you check check their link and it's like they have one follower or zero followers it's either a person's burner account or it might be a troll damn and they're getting people riled up over [ __ ] they normally wouldn't even weigh in on well yeah and then we stew over it all day everyone's talking about this like who's the everyone is everyone commenting on no one right 19 of the top 20 christian sites on facebook wow run by troll farms so they're literally
engineering arguments when those were those uh what's it called guys came on here by the way what's it called guys is that jamie that's the 19 of the 20. they're right here so those are the guys all of these are fake shout outs jesus is my lord is legit all those others are run by troll farms look at this guy posts look at this look at this image look at all those ones that are run by troll farms my lord speaking happy enjoyed life jesus is my lord remember it's all just programming they're just finding these people like a candle for a lost one oh my god well played this is wild yeah but maybe they're just trying to get clicks my baby daddy ain't [ __ ] is number one look at that that's theirs my baby daddy ain't [ __ ] is theirs essence is a control farm that's number two that's real essence magazine but that isn't that wild my baby daddy ain't [ __ ] is number one you gotta hand it to me we're getting all the lingo right yeah they do their research good marketing yeah there's trolls that i know i follow on instagram but they post good stuff well nick mullins one of the best of all time nicole mullins what's up nicole mullins yeah what happened he was just writing as a a mommy blogger for a while i was nick we got people angry at him but it was just like you're not mommying right again it was great it was amazing you got to get that in while you can because mine reading is around the corner my we're about 15 yeah 50 days away from mine yeah that's 100 can happen they're going to introduce some sort of a thing that they put in your head like elon musk wants to do neural link black mirror they're going to do something along those they're going to do it because it's going to make it better like you got your eyeballs lasered yeah they're gonna have some new thing when they inject some bacteria into it they're gonna go you know this is good but wouldn't you rather see through buildings and they're gonna do something to your [ __ ] head and they're gonna you're gonna be able to instantly access
the [ __ ] blueprints for the building you'll know as your wall you'll see it in ar you'll fall it'll show you upstairs i can see that what door is locked what door is over where's the bathroom i like the faith you have in humanity you're going to see wireless forms of humans that would ruin comedy you go to the show they know where the punch line's going to find new comedy we'll find psychedelic comedy it'll be only for comedy for comedy only for people who trip unplug comedy yeah man that's the last time you guys tripped it's been a while for me why i guess you're busy too busy so you don't think that people are going to be able to figure out something that does that soda or you would not kill ourselves you don't think so i agree it goes fast what do you think happens a hot war or do you think or like uh it's a hot war it is a major that's a real war real war china or russia like a hot war like like with guns oh like cold war no no it'd be with nuclear weapons so yeah we're not we're not gonna do i hope not yeah that would be a real bug mutually assured destruction is scary but there's some people that are old that are president sorry but if you have if you have the ability come on for real if you have the ability i mean how much of the how much power does the president really have like if biden wakes up and uh cleans they'll say no cleans his face and goes i think he's got a new car and yeah i need to bomb somebody no he can't do it right so how many people have to be there to say yes like how many people are involved in like hiroshima and nagasaki how many people made those decisions it's a good question 20 at least yeah it was a small amount that was a secret yeah the pilot had to say yes or no you know people loading up the pilot imagine how bad that would [ __ ] with you for the rest of your life oppenheimer said he was ruined mentally after the bomb really because he invented it you know the name of that plane presidential decision making atomic bomb
in 1945 the decision to use the bomb lay ultimately in the hands of president truman so it was his decision that's heavy who was the decision makers and that's the answer it gave him so it was just well do we do it mr truman and he goes let's [ __ ] do it damn that saved lives but the guy who pressed that button at all and let that [ __ ] go yeah and he watched it when he did what because he was in a god damn he didn't do a [ __ ] he didn't go up and over to get away from the blast uh and that's those [ __ ] planes yeah those propeller apps you would like the enola gay look at that hey the anola gaze hold on one thing i was thinking go ahead can you imagine being alive when there was never anything like that before and if you got to think about when this happened was it 1947 we dropped the bomb people on that plane i thought it was like two people and that's it no but here's the thing man four flying seven flying was like 40 years old flying was younger than you ari wow so this year wow you're like 46. you're 40 years ago you're not doing great what are you 47 so if you think about like when they first figured out how to fly versus when they dropped out of it how much time do you think they let's just guess right here how much time do you think they spent from the time they invented the plane until they dropped a bomb out from it from north carolina oh well 20 years atomic bomb 20 years no more no no kitty hawk what was north carolina i'm trying to think that was probably the right way it is the wright brothers yeah no no no no it was 18 sisters after the tournament it was film right because they filmed it yeah it's like the internet i'm going to say 12. give it a go 1912. shane acts like he knows close to the wright brothers what's the date you said by the time they dropped a bomb no the first plane uh kitty hawk i think that was probably like oh eight i'm gonna go 0-9 i said no 12. 1895. oh you're an animal okay let's see what he's got
i know he's like 2003 or sorry 1904 jesus christ not bad not bad they were dropping bombs in world war one that's what they said ten years later they were up in the [ __ ] plane dropping [ __ ] out right ten years you're right what do you mean ten years no ten years for the first dropping bombs they were dropping grenades actually they were dropping spikes in world war one so it's their job once they got up there like what should we throw up why not drop a brick yeah but how wild is that worth 40 years and they're dropping nuclear bombs out of a plane that's how we operate that is [ __ ] wild we get it moving no planes at all and then nuclear bombs you're gonna make a trapdoor at the bottom right away are they gonna make planes electric yeah right what are they waiting for on that no they do they have a company that's uh that's making them they think they can fly let's get those uh hundreds of miles delta prices down yeah it'd be nice some of them think they can make to make it to a couple thousand miles eventually well we haven't we haven't had a hot war between two top gdp countries since war since look at that look at that statistic 1913 is the first time they dropped bombs wow damn that ain't [ __ ] they got it dude but because it wasn't even 10 years because the nuke world leaders are like we don't need hot wars that was eight years old look at that look at that plane that they did it with go back so you can see the planes they did it with that doesn't that's not it that's not it [ __ ] now oh what is the what's the uh plane i was trying to start look because it says it's a uh ariel like a biplane and so that i have other bombs that they were using back then guys he's a popular part of this podcast the guy who drove these planes were just ballsy as hell would be up there like that about how about standing on one of them they didn't have a [ __ ] mask on i mean they didn't have anything over their head awfully cold they were got a scarf and that's it in that wild dude they were out there exposed and now
we have women pilots it wasn't even it wasn't even in commercials it wasn't even under glass yeah i was just out there they were just their face was out there in the wind paper look at that wing yeah that looks like a bird it does look at the they're they're trying to mimic it off a bird so they assume it lasts longer yeah the white bicycle tires the swops did it first how many of those dudes died because they flew into birds they were yeah shelley barely got out of holding a bomb in the bottom middle holding up the drop with his hands oh that's cool yeah they dropped the [ __ ] bombs like literally like railroad spikes wow they would just drop them yeah watches [ __ ] just to drop them on people yeah just oh my god that would kill one guy though you gotta drop it going fast they they bombed like uh the italian naval fleet with like cannon balls it was just the the an air force blew up a naval fleet did you see that uh picture i put on my instagram of the battle of waterloo the guy who got hit in the chest with a cannonball oh no no was it a hole to his chest it's just the uh the armor that he had on in the battle of waterloo i found like i had a [ __ ] animal to the to the [ __ ] right titty threw him oh yeah right through this whole body oh my god jamie it's um like the size of a [ __ ] bowling ball through homeboy's chest oh no oh damn so he's wearing this thing that can stop arrows and he gets hit in the [ __ ] chest no they weren't about arrows at [ __ ] waterloo why was he wearing that yeah you're right 1815 they had muskets right why was he even wondering who was yeah i mean that was dead but the cannonball was obviously the big move why was he wearing that because there was like a lot of [ __ ] that could protect you from beautiful armor yeah that would have helped probably yeah from a distance those bullets you know they weren't that fast waterloo yo you ever see that insane guy start
ranting uh steve spiros jamie the gang is going to want to see this is that a photo okay let me see would shoot cannon balls into people yeah they would cannon's that's a what a wild weapon you've got a giant metal thing yeah that you're gonna pull around you're gonna get a horse to pull it yeah you get into position you're basically lighting a bomb yeah that launches a ball of lead through people just a ball it didn't blow up the ball yeah no just like event yeah they figured that out they blew it up yeah and then they would when if you got close they would make make it canister shot which was basically a giant shotgun wow with lead balls that were like golf balls oh my god [ __ ] 15 pounds you can't believe how heavy it is yeah just a hundred golf balls would explode out oh my god and that was technology back then that was high-end it still is that's a that's a claymore now i was like really that's what they use listen dan carlin's hardcore history was talking about how the mongols would light dead bodies on fire and launch them on catapults under thatched roofs light people's house on fire was a flaming dead guy where do you use every part of it if somebody if somebody had disease in your camp the catapult [Music] they would just stand there back then to show that i know how dumb is that all i think is back then how many people were just [ __ ] themselves how many people were like i don't want to be here this sucks but i gotta do it you have to do it everybody look at that image pull that image back again look at that blue apart though it's from the patreon yeah oh [ __ ] that good point this is somebody from the revolutionary war that you had to stand still like look they shot at each other and everybody had to stand still and they all got shot dumbest way to fight whatever next up yeah well it was just the technology out advanced the style run at him but what would happen if he bailed like i i gotta go that's red badge of courage is that what that is that's all that's what i
gotta watch that i've never seen it we gotta read it watch that head come off watch it oh my god whatever happened he passed away what yeah he was just a batman he was a hunk no heath uh was the joker and he died of a drug overdose whoa he died a long time ago but i got the booster he did take the boosters he was uh he was a [ __ ] amazing joker huh yeah what a way to go pencil on the desk yeah like i thought he was the best one you don't think joaquin phoenix is the best one no no when did you start supporting communism oh did i start supporting this is the riddler now uh it's a new riddler yeah riddler i saw someone said it's one of kanye's fall lineup ah it looks like antifa that's badly [Music] he looks like a lesbian but he's good but it's very watchmany looking isn't it yeah it is it's too dark zodiac killer he looks exactly like the zodiac but in this new world they don't have superpowers no it's the penguin really forget who they are it's colin farrell yeah it's colin farrell oh with some crazy suit on right now looks like weinstein kind of feral cool jacket hey zonk he is a hunk dude irish hunk those are rare you guys are ugly i watched the watchman again the other night yeah i've seen them the old movie is your problem yeah have you guys seen the watchman yeah i was last i've seen it probably three or four times i watched it again the other night like uh like a couple weeks ago and i was like they couldn't make this movie today really why not oh it's so wild yeah it's crazy there's a lot of crazy in there there's a lot there's all kinds of stuff there's murder it was a comic book the good guys are murderers it's a real rapist it's a crazy movie i watched i was like whoop well now the scene with the pregnant lady like i don't want to give up anything like holy [ __ ] man miscarriage no no no no or when rorschack finds the [ __ ] oh my
god oh jesus jesus christ there's so many scenes in that movie like what the [ __ ] like everybody is so flawed and dr manhattan is the [ __ ] and he's so autistic like can you speak chill and his penis his penis is reasonable it's a hell of a donkey oh they show it but his body is perfect for his size yeah he could have easily made himself on a hanger manhattan should get some credit for having an appropriate remember that one scene where they were like he there was eight of them pleasing the girl and he was over doing physics i thought you liked this wait is that him yeah he gave himself that looks like mr freeze oh he looked amazing but he was like an a cgi guy like he didn't seem like a real person he had been there was some sort of a radiation experiment and his he was killed and then his body recomposed and it recomposed dr manhattan glows look at the one to the left of that now click on that link what could it give you that's dr manhattan yeah he's also supposed to be preposterously shredded from the perfect show from the original looks like that where is this is that the color proportional penis i've been hearing about no but here you'll see it see if you can find it in the comments if you're trying to look i think that's it from the comic book there in the lower left hand corner i see a black guy well that was yeah yeah right there the window right there right click on that yeah so he's super jacked super just tall and he cree well that's true but i guess they probably the only real superhero in watchmen everyone else is just playing a superhero oh really yeah that's a good point yeah but no that guy in the right the far right and this the with the gold hat he can move real quick oh the smart guy yeah that kind of they all have like a very expensive guys move really fast move fast come on yeah like preposterously fast they're just willing to take a punch and punch back they have no mercy it's really really ridiculous there's only you got one superhero it's like yeah one superhero if the
avengers of everybody was hawkeye it was real 59 that's all that old yeah that's when the comic book started out really well yeah it's an old-ass comic book man but it's so dark it's so dark yeah but i think it's the movie adaptation that's so dark no no i just i just read it a couple years ago it's dark it's like one of the guys like i was in vietnam raping people right oh 86. sorry where'd i get 59 because that's when the the nuclear accident okay so 86 might as well be 59. the 80s are [ __ ] up the 80s are the most [ __ ] up robocop i was in high school robocop is [ __ ] dark it is dark i just watched ultimate power brutal see what happens not one block i was killed ah really total recall total recall was [ __ ] up totally i thought it was crazy three tits yeah three tests was great what would you guys do with three tits would you suck them i'd lick them all you would lick all the sick with all the tits monday wednesday friday break monday wednesday friday yeah great that's great yeah skim and almond soy soy that's better now i wanted to see i wanted to show you guys a video of this guy spasm it's a very old video but it's a classic video you sent in the group text about the lady that was like [ __ ] oh that crazy that lady rules hold on you're going to love this guy you have to have him steve spiros this is a classic internet video uh they're just like hey we're here for this week in fashion what's your name and he just goes it's incredible who's spiros that's his name dude steve spiros easy going i don't know that what do you say it's coming no i'm speaking a lot of gibberish you're going to have a stroke you better uh i don't get the wrong one make this whole that's a lot of memes about this guy steve spiros is king is he the one that's like nobody stopped me yes with the sticks that guy's great he has two sticks waterloo this guy
no this is crazy you can't get the right one dude uh-oh what's happening why are you on twitter twitter link in the description easy [Music] my name oh let me tell you my name uh i'm confused because uh you know like we're supposed to believe in the ministry right so is the is the church and states supposed to be separate i'm confused because i never went to school right get a resolution i don't understand you see when you go like that right you have a cross two sticks right and that's how i felt when i was in waterloo because when i walked in waterloo and smiled at people they treated me like a vampire they used the cross and they went like this by not smiling at me in toronto hey hi guys you know me steve spiros easy going those who know me i'm a nobody you understand and you can't kill is this mental illness or is this an act so why am i afraid [Applause] and i'm going to wear my sunglasses at night you know why yeah she crashes women show their tits have short skirts and then they feel violated when i look at them why because i have sunglasses on and i'm weird whoa let's go i'm from humber's side i'm sorry if i made a fool of humberside but all those people who called me a sleepwalker i woke up i'm awake now i'm going to sleep because i can be committed in an isolation room because i'm going to go back to the ministry and allow them to perceive me as i am a [ __ ] up this guy'll be doing stand up in a week hey toronto the good look at look at this square he came it was a [ __ ] hole when i worked here now it looks like new
york manhattan toronto doesn't have you can't take your eyes off but waterloo they're creating me why i don't know maybe it's the church talk to the pope he knows everything i had it i'm going to die oh wait a second i'm going to be crucified right whoa i'm not going to raise my voice i just want you guys to take a look at that i didn't see that coming you're right that's the real joke i'm not going to i can't stop saying it i'm going back to waterloo no idea what he was talking about that guy could be the new catch me outside girl oh yeah someone just has to find him that was just ten years ago he should be on your mom's house that lady was in the pocket as an interviewer letting him make a fool of himself holding it for so long for her she was amazing well at first he sounded like he knew what he was talking about she was like what's your name and he's like what what's my name yeah and then he just went and then you like it took a second to be like oh [ __ ] this guy's out of his [ __ ] mind she never falters with that with that she looks at the camera yo yeah she's a solid pro solid she kept it together this place looks like new york manhattan yeah you would never think he's insane but he's fired up because girls are showing their tits i wonder whatever happened to him but then if you look at them they're mad at me because i'm cause i'm weird that's why i wear sunglasses yeah there's gotta be a bummer dude just walking around in sunglasses every staring at ladies tits they get mad oh they don't know sunglasses they're the perv is like chief the three of us were walking today and uh when we went on that path what i don't like about austin is there's hot men jogging on that river path sorry i'm walking by with my fat tits we went into the vulcan last night the
chick gave shane the eyes yeah that's right today we're walking insane today we're and neither of us for sure shane then today some dude staring a chain the same way same way you got austin hots yeah well you look like you're on the football team or something the girl in the alley that we saw that was great i even looked at you guys like did you see that he looks like a pit master yeah that's right the best baby background yeah you can change the tire quickly you go to shane for baby back ribs you should have seen the way this lady i caught it it was i it was so obvious i looked at you guys like what's happening here was that it you guys no it was not i think she was like don't hurt me i think she was trying to avoid the old ally rape so she gave it it might have been like she was like there's the guy that that's him right right right maybe she had a craving for corned beef and cabbage like this [ __ ] know how to get something there you go you just have to have the courage you're lucky i'm not as rude to you as you are to me and i want you to count your blessings right now all right that's the bud light talking damn look at that pile of jewels this is nothing left this pocket should be called the 10 bud light podcast and as soon as he gets to 10 which he is right now i got it bl m's those lights matter blood light back in the car you guys said you guys were going to drink with me today i'm drinking man they've been doing nothing dude four beers come on man plus it's amazing he's one of those guys you guys got to be [ __ ] drunker why are you drunker yeah i don't talk about you you guys are high yeah we're both true true that's a good point that this guy's negating he's doing other stuff okay go to the bathroom not for coke ari and i are way more confused than you uh what are you guys confused about far
more yeah we're [ __ ] we got obliterated how many did i take i took at least four hits we took a lot of hits that's crazy engage on that joint he thought i was running that weed oh yeah i thought you were gonna uh oh you're still into it i'm i'm waiting we think we can take you no that's not the three of us that's not all three maybe i saw those leg kicks he posted i think all three of us maybe jamie might need to help it depends on how close you are to me it depends if you're we're pretty close waiting for it or not yeah well i'll tell you what the plan was to jump to me at the same time the players there's a real problem there's not hope you're going to [ __ ] said it no no no no you're blowing it over no you blew it you said it you can't there's no [ __ ] sneak attack if you're like hey you know what's really sad there's people alive that all four of us plus jamie would be [ __ ] yeah they were like you could not take them no if the mountain was in the room with us the mountain from game of thrones i think we could all take them no no no no no no no you don't think even if we knew we were gonna lose a couple of us we couldn't take him nope i don't know we could i think once he crushes norman's head just like he did that guy with the spear we got scared that bisexual guy remember that guy grabs his eyeballs once he does that to norman we're like oh no this is real yeah we would have to have the rage in us or something no all five you're [ __ ] couldn't take judy gold she got me oh that's right she's the mountain shall we wrap this [ __ ] up should we do dates what should we do yeah let everybody know uh are you going to pee hey look at him lower his neck like a [ __ ] brown belt you said you were gonna do it i did good luck i got the neck get in there nah you put the chin down quick that was good instagram right away he didn't even pick his arms up
this is enough for you [Laughter] damn the joke was going to be we were obviously going to hang you out to dry all right that's not a good place to fight there's a lot of cords i thought you were going to throw me on the table or something that would have been better video why i wasn't concerned he didn't even move his hands he was in a casual pose with that it was a light grip you knew you were safe it depends on who's grabbing your neck that's the guy dude shut up your [ __ ] belly shut your mouth what are you talking about he's eight looks like shane from the neck down he does that cop probably weighs 500 pounds that guy's got a rasputin wonder what he really weighs he's lost a lot of weight because he's shredded now he got down because he's gonna box this guy eddie hall and they have like this big boxing match they've been playing for a long time so along the way he's lost a [ __ ] ton of weight and he took up boxing look at but go to that picture damn yeah look at what he looks like no i couldn't take him there the fat one i could take bro you could definitely take him thank you yeah you you would lose to everybody for your first statement all right sorry you would literally lose to everybody we know you don't think i use my intelligence to fight these fights you're not that smart jake paul could beat him you're dumber than you think you don't have any idea how big this guy is he's so big what are we talking about no i think he's seven feet tall look at that actually how tall is it let's see how tall look at this lady she's like that's his girlfriend he's older he's six louis goldman i think he's bigger than six five really i think he's like six ten or something crazy holy [ __ ] yeah the mountain yeah i think he's something crazy it's something 13 cans tall what does that mean i don't know what that means but what is this height those are big cans too those are 12
boys what uh we lost he was sparring with mcgregor and it was yes insane that was funny just like as a joke he didn't know what's wrong and it literally looked like a child six foot nine six six nine so he's basically the same side as tyson fury oh yeah that's how tall tyson but he's here and what's funny is tyson fury would maul that do you think uh if they boxed over 1000 percent fury would destroy but he could pick him up and put him in a headlock listen if tyson fury lost that fight you would go to tyson fury and go you owe me money [ __ ] oh there they are yeah look at the size of them you'd go you threw that fight [ __ ] is furious tyson fury's body is yeah gross body why doesn't he make an effort he's training the greatest fighter of all time i don't trust this he's going to love handles he's doing good in argument to be one of the greatest heavyweights of all time is that right yeah in the hockey that was him when he was really fat though before he got back in shape gross because he got to over 300 pounds he got super fast what i don't like is you're disdain for overweight people they should die listen yeah they're going to get close the baddest guy that's ever lived is a guy he's got a dad bod i mean even when he's in the uh oh look at that even when he's in the ring in full perfect shape like he's right there yeah i mean that's not the best part he's not great that's better than he looks in the ring he spills out of his trunks it depends on what fight but yeah and some of the fights where's tyson fury from england england the gypsy camp we couldn't even part he's the [ __ ] man england he's the man that guy is so good when when he figured out deontay wilder in the first the last round of the first fight and then he continued that strategy into the second fight just annihilated him and then he said he was going to do it he said he's going to stop him and knock him out everybody's like there's no way you're going to knock him out he's only 33 years old you know it's funny they uh there was a
video of tyson fury singing to his girlfriend singing no no oh dude at the end of every funny karaoke he sings so long that the crowd's like all right wrap it up after he [ __ ] people walking in vegas billy mccusker what up so but there's a video of him singing with his kids and he's singing notorious b.i.g and he he's like if you don't know now you know and he says it oh wow but then twitter got a hold of it and everybody that was black on twitter was like look we sent our best guy at him he's allowed to say it good for them he can't good for them he's so unusual because he's like literally from a a band of travelers really he really isn't his father his father was a [ __ ] bare knuckle boxer his father's a giant gorilla they're both giant dudes his dad's not six nine but he might be six four six five huge guy the whole family is just giant so they grow up scrappy oh yeah well they grew up it's another [ __ ] giant yeah there's a whole world in england that's bare knuckle boxing gypsies are monsters there's plenty of videos online of travelers having boxing really kind of [ __ ] like this yeah no not necessarily it depends on where [Music] a lot of guys when they punch you bare knuckle on the forehead they break their [ __ ] hands oh yeah like that really happens all the time man what's this is this freaking this movie this movie what is this is this not oh that's the guy that guy was like the the the world champion so this this movie is yeah there's a rivalry yeah wow and this year you gotta hear something until one man gives up and they would fight in the streets i just want to go out and fight james because he thinks he's better than these subtitles so there's all these videos these guys made like challenge videos leave me alone with my life
leave me alone i'm done with this fight and irish travelers yeah well you know you have to have kind of a different style to be a bare knuckle guy and you have to be huge apparently a lot of these guys are big as [ __ ] that guy's old yep when's this coming out yeah i'd love to see this you got to watch it they interview the guys in the trailers it's [ __ ] they're all living caravans that's that's how they want to live too but they're so big how do they fit they barely fit he's a legend [Music] oh the weights you mean the stone it's like 50 pounds two stones it's just funny listening to these guys talk these are real people smoking smoking cigarettes let's fight there and each other once again at three to fight a good fight lasting longer than 20 minutes thin men should be broke up her nose is broke their mouth's broken and their black eyes and maybe 15 or 16 stitches that's a fight that's what i call a fight that's what i could do no oh break a man up damn that's a crazy way to live your life man yeah right living out of a trailer beating the [ __ ] out of dudes but it's a real thing there's a real people oh we got it's like honey boo boo here's a girl win our losers [Music] degree day one sunny day would take them out that's hilarious damn it's cool that exists well it's a wild uh culture but they make some great [ __ ] boxers there's a few good kickboxers that come from there too really yeah so they must watch tyson fury and oh phone number well literally is his belt says gypsy king right yeah he's okay did he still fight gypsy or no what no chase still fight the gypsy fights no dude he fights for 90 million million dollars though he's the heavyweight champion of
the world not everywhere shut your [ __ ] mouth that was him when he was young enhancing him some kids walk in the gym and they're like novices really and i've always been like quite good you know mick hennis has described you as one of the most exciting prospects that he's ever signed well i thank mick for that but um i'm made to back him up and um if i don't then there's a big problem with all the ability and all this tyson had a little podcast he was laying on the couch just really really talking some [ __ ] yeah about who they posted and he was like i don't care well that must be saying some wild stuff against your people well he's literally the baddest man on earth not a heavyweight ufc fighter it just shows that the poorest [ __ ] are the best fighters not the poorest but the most oppressed the righteous well also but it's a part of their culture to fight like well that's a normal thing it's like they relish the opportunity and it's a great way for men to prove their manhood and they're [ __ ] good at it what if you grow up there and you just want to be a graphic designer tough [ __ ] [ __ ] face nobody wants you to design their album cover right i just like fashion it's a [ __ ] up way to make a living getting punched in the face with bare knuckles yeah okay what about a hug all right the [ __ ] boys [Applause] bjb four queefs blms what's that jamie what time's the show those guys uh we got a show in an hour does anybody want to smell some smelling sauce yeah yeah i forgot to last time i got to wake up guys cleveland sold out this weekend where are you promoting gigs we're smelling smelling sauce in the middle while you're getting ready no this is going to make a video you [ __ ] idiot and that video is going to be everywhere and so the clue wouldn't switch it back but it's not cleveland this weekend when this video goes around because cleveland will be done my ex was had a real stank tangy veg i bet i can take this no no no you cannot take this
spelling salts we'll go with norman because he's cocky there's our sphere.com i'll save them for okay save it for later ready now what is this powder i gotta open it no it's like a crystal you gotta open it up open it up but don't throw it at me or anything when you i won't throw it the smell hits you [ __ ] freight train watch this no way no no way wait you don't take it anyway like a smells like powerlifters don't take anything out no just take a step just take a snap go ahead ready here we go bro you blew your neck out i heard the back of my head you pulled them you blew your [ __ ] neck out my nose bleeding have you done this before oh yeah i did it with theo holy dick me and theo did it the first time bigger nose bigger nose stronger old factory senses the biggest sensation i bet ari's like a bloodhound i bet he smells us different oh i'm tearing up do you smell us different than we smell you do you think i like the hell and i ate ass but the way he did that like who the [ __ ] how can you do that where's the top i don't know bring that over here give it to daddy i'm snotting i'm snotting oh my god i didn't hate he stinks so bad i watched how did you guys do it you want it back i've only done this a couple of times before but i remember what it's like let's see if i've i've like minimized it in my mind i went too close to the bottle i think go close you gotta take a big hit get in there you look like you watch my special on netflix i was ready for it this time it wakes you up i feel cleared out oh [ __ ] i had covered before that oh my god killed it it's so surprising right yeah right i didn't think it was like that oh my ears popped it still hurts whoa it's very shocking even though i know it i've done it already and you have to
keep it in this plastic bag um shout out to uh how do you say his name jamie the devil yeah yeah right yep you got it holy hell uh he's a a power lifter dude who uh this is his product and it's called ah right it's called like that's it's called that's fun because that's what you do you never hear about smelling pepper well this stuff is it wakes you right the [ __ ] up damn these have a fight gentlemen we have a show tonight not exciting great job guys i can't go on after that how exciting that's good come on have some fun i think shane gillis is going to be really funny tonight i bet you i am finally i'm feeling he's going to be angry all right we did it cuddle party protect our parts come on vote online yeah because he reads everything you guys remember what were the good ones cuddle party uh uh guy clan four queefs apocalypse oh bush meet bush push me boys is pretty good push me boys is good but now we're just naming should we name it like it's a podcast well we're doing a podcast essentially it's like it seems like when we did the first one again it was so fun to do they were like we need to do this more often yeah just get hammered smoke some joints and some cigars not drunk at all yeah okay same two sober um i can drive so we don't need to name it we don't need to name it dude naming stuff's [ __ ] cool let the internet name us anybody else got anything to promote or you give up cleveland phoenix vancouver coming in harry what are you doing in phoenix phoenix doing the stan uh stand up live nice that's a big room that's a great room fun one that's a great room doing wise guys that's salt lake sold out me how about you add another show we are going to we're trying to they're trying to get out of the show we're thinking about another one an earlier 3 31. oh yeah our tickets already sold out
yeah um we're doing no shane and i are going to be at the irvine improv can't wait day before no it's the ufc which is what february 21st yeah right i thought of january whatever it is who's fighting anybody next week the gypsy queen hey i'll be at the des moines syracuse omaha columbus this is how to live next week stories we might be drunk out to lunch on youtube francis ingano and cyril gone too oh he's good they better watch out i might get in there and knock one of those guys black on black crush that that signifies that he's had the ten jewels yeah yeah yeah italian crystals have made it into a system he thinks he can fight francis and joel's pod all right uh who's this shane it's me uh january 13th tacoma common club i heard that place this show that's great good room that's through uh the 15th and then comedy connection boom the vault good list used to be a bank you know that yeah yeah that's right they're great guys guys look at you guys killing it the best club levity live that's a great place west nihak that's a [ __ ] fun yeah yeah i'm a guy we're going to sixth street tonight all right hell yeah everybody [Music] [Music] [Applause] you