I am seen at work as a very assertive and aggressive dude and I seem to rub people the wrong way when they think I’m upset or frustrated at problems they they present which is rarely the case I’m just so fired up how do I work on my tact while still being assertive with my team you know what I’m fired up too sure how you like that take it and when I was young I I this is when I was young sure I rub some people the wrong way I know that even when I was a young kid working on a construction site guess what I was doing working too hard making people rubbing people the wrong way when I got to the team there was a little crew of us that were too hardcore we were too fired up we were I would run the O course with my with with a rock sack with a 40lb pack uh 40 lb sandbag in it no one was doing that like everyone does it now but back then there was a small crew of us that were doing it running with jungle boots all the time instead of in sneakers and I literally got pulled aside by some of the old guys and by old guys I don’t mean Nom I mean old guys from wherever uh you know from the from the ’90s sure or the late 80s and you know I’d get the hey you just need to calm down dude yeah you know you don’t need to do that yeah and so yeah maybe I rubb those guys a little bit the wrong way understandable but when I got a little older and a little bit more mature I got fired up to actually do a good job as a leader to actually build relationships with my platoon mates and I got fired up for people to instead of thinking that I was upset or frustrated what I was fired up is I wanted people to think that I was calm and cool and collected right so how’s that for totally different it’s like when we say default aggressive yeah and I I always say hey you’re not being aggressive this isn’t being aggressive towards your people it’s not yelling it’s being aggressive towards your mission I was I’m aggressive towards making people think that I’m not upset and that no matter what’s going on they go man Jo he’s not going to lose his temper he’s super levelheaded yeah yeah yeah right um now now that being said that doesn’t mean that I was passive sure that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t assertive it means that I was aggressive and assertive but I did it with tact and instead of coming at people straight on I flank them I have listened to their little ideas or I made their ideas come from me but they didn’t know it I listened to their Solutions I helped and supported well you go so far just by helping people out and helping them with their idea instead of trying to control them and make everything your idea so that’s my advice here relax calm down Focus get fired up get aggressive about being tactful get aggressive about working with people get aggressive about sh knowing your calmness that’s what you get aggressive about yeah don’t get assertive aggressive and create antagonistic relationships across your company yeah check yeah sounds good he said he he gets or they think he gets upset or frustrated at problems that they present yeah which is rarely the case he said he said I’m just fired up so it’s it’s it seems like and I’m no expert but I’m trying to put myself in this position where like I think maybe like it it’s just a presentation thing you know like his yeah definitely a presentation is aggressive like he’s saying he’s not even getting frustrated no’s I’m getting frustrated with him for acting this way yeah yeah yeah like a mindset yeah it’s not it’s definitely it’s definitely a presentation thing no doubt about it yeah but so that means you say okay I’m presenting the wrong thing I will fix what I’m presenting yeah it do do you think actually I think you do think this or know this or whatever um you know how people they’ll they’ll get nuts or whatever they’ll they’ll they’ll uh be aggressive they get fired up right and you know they whether it be they’ll lose their temper or they’re behave in a way that’s that’s aggressive towards people and their justification is not to say that this guy does this I don’t know but I’m just saying their justification is I’m just passionate about it I’m just whatever you know yeah um is that that’s just a justification right it is because yeah like if at the end of the day it is it’s a it’s a justification it is also a reality so think about it from the other perspective if if you’re dealing with someone if you have someone on your team that gets all that they’re they’re passionate about something and it can be problematic if they don’t learn to control their passions right they just get hey we’re going to make this happen and they make bad decisions because they’re so passionate about making something happen that they’re not they’re not doing something logical so yes you could say it’s just an excuse and there’s no such thing as a passionate person but that actually wouldn’t be true it’s not an excuse It’s a real thing now if you are aware of that then why do you keep acting that way you got to put your passions into check that’s what you got to do 100% yeah and I meant more like it’s an excuse for their behavior you know like to me I personally I think that being passionate about something that you’re into is good way beneficial but again you know how say like there’s a difference between what you feel and how you behave you know so if you’re if you’re super passionate about something it doesn’t justify like all this irrational or emotional or like loss of temper situation Behavior you see what I’m saying so you know yeah be passionate but don’t behave in some crazy off the handle way agree so I think that they use their passion as an excuse for their behavior I just got a quick temper man yeah yeah yeah that doesn’t mean that you can act like an idiot that’s worse that’s it’s the same deal exactly right yeah that’s just who I am I’m unique in that way
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