chuckle I was wondering what your advice is for disagreeing up the chain of command obviously this needs to be done with some tact ie in private not in front of others but in those private conversations how should one respectfully disagree again again similar question a better technique than disagreeing is just to ask questions you know boss hey I want to make sure I get this right can you explain it to me again can you can you watch me do it right to your boss actually sees what the problem is that way you’re not being offensive Kay hey boss can you explain why you chose this course of action I really want to learn from from what you did what you the way you do it I again does that sound like a kiss-ass yes because I’m exaggerating you don’t have hey hey boss you’re so incredibly smart no I’m not talking about that because bosses don’t like kiss-ass kisses at least good bosses good bosses don’t and actually even good bosses they might keep their kiss asses around but they don’t respect them so you don’t gain influence by being a kiss-ass it’s not a good situation so I’m not talking about kissing ass but you know hey boss I’m really want to understand this and make sure I understand it can you can you explain to me why this is the best way to make this to do this versus the other way you know that’s the kind of question that’s not kissing ass that’s actually you know it is actually legitimately wanting to know well like I legitimately want to know maybe you what if we instead of assuming that we know better than our boss what if we assume that my boss knows better than me let’s make that assumption and if you communicate with that assumption then you’re probably gonna communicate in a much better way then communicating with the assumption that my boss is an idiot and I know better than them yeah which is not a good way to communicate yeah funny you kind of said that about the kiss ass guy cuz that comes up a lot – I don’t wanna be kiss ass and yeah you don’t the kiss ass guy is the same thing as being friend-zoned you know what friendzone mean yeah I do it’s the same thing yeah so like the girl right typically it’s a guy who gets friendzone right because he’s like too nice he’s too nice he’s to whatever he’ll it’s he’s a he’s essentially a and you’re like a brother to me yes man that’s what he is so of course the girl’s gonna keep him around for all this like good feeling superficially by the way imagine lunch all the superficial stuff he’s not gonna get anywhere of legitimacy with her actual decision makings if you translate that into the you know work environment or whatever well yeah the boss I mean a certain kind of boss just like a certain girl’s gonna keep a guy around for that reason certain boss is gonna be like yeah I’ll keep him around I feel a little bit bad even firing the guy like that a little bit cuz he’s just so nice to me and gives me all these compliments and even in in a in a weird way I think the kiss-ass guy kind of knows that too you know like how why would he ever fire me even though yeah his job or whatever it because you know he can fire me I’m just too nice to him you know there’s that that feeling is floating around it’s what I’m saying but it’s the same deal right like it’s too many compliments there’s too much of a yes-man I’ll keep you around for very superficial reasons yeah that’s it brother yeah you you don’t get passed yeah that’s and that’s not a good no place to be in no it’s not sir that’s why I’m not saying kiss-ass and the way I just explained that of actually assuming that your boss knows more than you isn’t is a good way to approach the situation as opposed to approaching the situation like you know more than your boss well I act like that dude the outcome isn’t gonna be inferior the outcome is inferior the outcome of acting like your boss or assuming that your boss knows more than you the outcome is you treat them with respect because the other way you could try and treat them with expects a respect but inadvertently you sound like you know some people I just we talk about normal face right some people they cannot even ask a question in an in a respectful way right they can’t even what was I saying over here they can’t even say you know hey boss can you explain this to me because I really want honor they can’t even say that you know hey boss can you explain this to me because it doesn’t make any sense like we can’t even I can’t even ask a question in a respectful way yeah that’s a skill you should master as a leader and as a follower as a leader and as a follower how to ask questions in a respectful way Lafe pointed this out Lafe pointed out we were talking about the fact of of I would say we with this story he’s told a bunch of times of going through the kill house and he’s in the back of the Train and you shouldn’t be in the back of the Train you should be somewhere where you can lead everyone cuz when you’re in the back of the Train you don’t know what’s happened in the front of the Train of assaulters a big group of people moving through Klaus and I didn’t and he goes you know Jocko didn’t say hey stop doing that and do it this other way he’s like he asked me questions and he’s like they were real questions I wasn’t like hey Leif why the hell are you in the back of the Train yeah is that a respectful question no it’s not a respectful question but it’s like hey Leif what are you doing in the back of the Train yeah hey this is a respectful question I I’m actually assuming that maybe Lafe who doesn’t have the experience that I have who’s my subordinate as a platoon commander to meet a big task unit commander my assumption is not that I know more than him my assumption is that he’s got a reason for that my assumption is that he knows more than me yeah which well this is one of the one of jordan Peterson’s twelve rules for life it’s like I think it’s assumed the person that you’re talking to knows more than you what I’m saying is the same thing up and down the chain of command you assume that your boss or your subordinate knows something that you don’t know and if you can if you can ask questions in that way instead of asking questions boss what are we doing this for or life why are you doing that they fry you in the back of the Train that’s stupid no it’s like hey Leif why are you in the back of the train what do you what is it what is your purpose of being back there I I genuinely genuinely want to know and and this isn’t like I’m not even saying I’m acting like that I truly genuinely want to know what the deal is yeah so make the assumption up and down the chain of command that your boss your subordinate knows more than you and then ask good questions with true genuine curiosity that you want to know the answers to it’s a good way to go about it
My WordPress Blog