junko have you worked with anyone who lead from an emotional or unbalanced place but learn to detach and what helped them well when I was putting these questions together obviously here’s one where you also have to use a little disarmed movement to get someone that’s getting emotional about something you got to get them to calm down yeah so you don’t reciprocate the emotion don’t coach people when they’re angry or emotional that’s not the time to say hey you know what you need to do right now is you need to calm down you know that that doesn’t work actually Lafe was telling that story on the last podcast where he was losing his temper about something and I just you know stood there and said kind of smiled and said I didn’t I didn’t reciprocate the anger I said hey take it easy you know don’t worry about it let’s just think about it can you make this happen and he’s like yeah I can of course I actually I had a one of my one of my senior enlisted advisors actually my first deployment to Iraq and and he and I were old school team one guy said what one of my one of my favorite guys in the world actually but he would sometimes get a little bit emotional a little bit a little bit he had this tactic that I picked up from him that I that I understood the way he the way he addressed conflict was and I broke it down for him eventually was simplify amplify and repeat that’s what he would do and it actually worked and worked a lot of time on most people and so like first if I said hey I’m gonna need yep I want to take a couple more guys on this operation and if he didn’t think I needed more guys for an operation he’d say well why don’t you just take everyone in the compound I’ll tell you what just take every person on the roster we’ll get people back you that’ll give you enough people then we’ll take everyone out I’ll start rounding everyone up right now we’ll take every single person that we have out there and I’ll even grab some army guys on the way that was his way and and I’d be like no we haven’t no but what I wouldn’t do is I wouldn’t get defensive I would get fired of it and I would say hey no I’m not saying I need everybody I’m just saying I want to take a three more guys there’s some spaces and the vehicles it’ll give us a little more ability to contain the target in we’d look at that said look take a look at the map we can and so then he keep calm down baby and in this guy’s case he actually wasn’t like too emotional he was just super passionate and when I actually broke down the simplify amplify and intensify oh no simplify amplify and repeat that’s what you do simplify amplify and repeat when and then when whatever we would start in a discussion and he would start doing it we would start laughing because he realized it as exactly so the simplify my repeat that’s that’s what the name you put on his little that wasn’t his methodology yeah you know if you said like I said if I said I had need a couple more guys you do we’ll just take everyone then if that’s what you need right every single guy to you he would simplify what you said he would amplify it and make it more extreme and he would just repeat it or forgive and in most people that he did it to they would feel stupid because of what he did to him you know he’d say well no I don’t need no I just feel stupid and he’d say so just that’s ridiculous and he’d win but we had we we would laugh about it but but like I said he wasn’t actually too emotional he was just fired up about stuff which is a positive thing but someone that is actually too emotional so like I said you got to stay calm you don’t don’t coach people when they’re angry you set a good example and then when people calm down later you talk to him about like amen that wasn’t cool and you kind of gotta spin it right cuz you’re trying to get you turning you don’t want to like literally coach because if I say echo I need to coach or something then you’re defensive and all that but if I say hey man I I rely on you cuz of your expertise and I think you’re the only guy the platoon that can actually make this happen so if you’re losing your temper man that doesn’t all of a sudden I can’t count on you and I need you mm-hmm because you don’t make good none of us make good decisions if we’re all bent out of shape on something mm-hmm so I got a please can you just can you help me by just hey man if you start if you start getting angry about something just realize it’s gonna affect your decision-making and we can’t have that man we need to come we need to make the good assistance people are counting on us mm-hmm and that’s how I’m handling someone that gets emotional about stuff yeah that that’s what some simplify repeat one but if i amplify i’m not say all girls do this but some wives might do like you said Charles you know ultimately I think if you know and you’re if you’re in a good relay you don’t really take it that seriously but but yeah you say like I don’t know you know hey you you were you said something mean to me or whatever and no but then why do married me then why don’t why don’t you just die amplify and repeat oh yeah or worked out for that or hate go to this one time long time she’s uh she said she want me to get orange juice I went to the stores Quinn story wanted me to get orange juice for whatever reason I forgot the orange juice I need choose not to get those she forgot just forgot you know you come home forget the orange juice she said something along the lines of does anything I say have any importance to you at all that’s that’s what that is right yeah all she needs to do is say it more than once and you got to repeat as well that question no yeah most things are pretty important I mean maybe not the orange juice at that moment you know I forgot another tactic like when you talk to people like to calm them down or whatever like let’s say something they lose their temper all the time or something like that and you have to address like them losing their temper be like hey you know how I use the word passionate passionate is business basically like an excuse word for someone being like you know what people just mash it compassionate you know well you can’t be it can’t be a euphemism well here’s the thing being passionate and being emotional are two different things because you can be passionate about something and not lose your temper and not being in whether they’re two different things so people will be like they’ll put that on and so it sounds kind of acceptable isn’t simply not true but so if but you can use that to your advantage you can be like hey I know you’re passionate I dig it man it’s one of the things I like about you and another thing that I like about you is that you’re also a thinker that’s why boom then you say what to do keyline there is that’s what I like about you or what I like about you is this and then they kind of take on that role for sure you know you’re disarming yeah yeah very good very good
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